#i know this meme is old now but i HAD to make a twewy version it was my duty to my nation

[goldensunset]

me listening to my completely unorganized twewy playlist

[deebormzone]

Klingdom Harps 3: Who’s the (Secret) Boss?

Sorry I haven’t written much lately. I recently got the standard English major’s retail job, which sucks away most of my energy. I gotta toughen up so I can produce more insightful content, like this:

I like Kingdom Hearts a lot because it lets me jump and fight and also my friend Jafar is there.

The big KH news, which is a couple months old by now, is that Kingdom Hearts 3 finally has a vaguely estimated release window: 2018. Now I can worry less about whether it will really come out, and more about how much of it will be DLC.

Besides DLC, series creator Nomura has also spoken about the now-traditional secret boss battle. In other Kingdom Hearts titles, there are one or more optional fights, designed to be the most difficult encounters in the game. They’re usually Sephiroth.

In terms of the secret boss, we can’t say anything at this time, but in terms of Sephiroth specifically, my development team are worried that we’ve had him come back so many times so they’re maybe worried it might be redundant at this point. We’re still deliberating on it.

I'm with the development team here. There’s room for more than just Sephy. But assuming they do put a secret boss in KH3 (and since the other big KH games have had secret bosses, excluding one from the biggest Hearts yet would be pretty shameful), who could compete with everyone’s favorite silver-haired genetic abomination?

There are actually a few good options. Here are some dudes I’d like to face in Kingdom Hearts 3 as an uberboss, loosely arranged from least cool to most cool. The only real requirement is that they be either Square Enix or Disney characters.

Crystal Enthusiast: Culex

Culex is a secret boss already! He’s from Super Mario RPG, but designed to look and act like a Final Fantasy boss. It’s implied that he crossed over from the Final Fantasy series to look for strong opponents. I don’t know why he would go looking in the Mushroom Kingdom, but I guess it worked out for him.

With his dimension-hopping and challenge-seeking, Culex would be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts secret boss. This is basically a pipe dream, though. Since he’s actually from a Mario game, it’s pretty unlikely he’d be allowed in. It may be his fate to languish in Mario Land for all eternity...

Principal Samurai: Master Eraqus

Eraqus was a major character in the Kingdom Hearts prequel, Birth by Sleep. He used to teach the protagonists how to use their Keyblades properly. Most of his lessons seem to involve hitting things, but that does tend to build experience in every game in the whole series. Go with what works, I guess.

Of course, he had an unfortunate accident, but that doesn’t prevent him from being a boss. Just call him “Lingering Spirit” or whatever. He’s probably the most likely person on this list to actually appear as a superboss, if he doesn’t show up in Kingdom Hearts 3 in some other form.

But despite being fairly important, his fighting style is sort of basic. He’s got a couple of big moves, but not much else. And even though I usually struggle against him in Birth by Sleep, he’s not that tough canonically. There may be better options.

Evillest Clown: Kefka

Ah, Kefka. He’s the boss of Final Fantasy 6, the clown who usually takes second place on the Final Fantasy villain lists... and sometimes first. This makes him a natural choice for Square Enix superboss if Sephiroth isn’t around.

I’m always down to clown. Kefka’s a manic, psychotic sociopath, which is often more fun to play with than your usual uptight or brooding villain. His fighting style in Dissidia, the Final Fantasy fighting game, is to annoy his enemy to death. Notable achievements of his include blowing up the world and becoming God, making him significantly more successful than your average antagonist. No worries about an underpowered foe here, though I’d rather fight his clown form than his purple angel form.

Somehow, though, I don’t see him getting in. Final Fantasy 6 has had almost no representation in Kingdom Hearts thus far. Is that game even still popular?

That, and the wacky clown personality doesn’t go over well with everyone. It might not fit the “epic boss battle” they’re planning. Shame.

Fallen Mascot: Oswald

I always love the Disney-based antagonists, but it’s hard to pick a definitive one. Maleficent usually takes the lead in villain meetups, but she’s not secret enough to be a secret boss. Is there anyone good left from the House of Mouse, besides maybe Walt himself?

There are plenty of great Disney villains who haven’t shown up yet. Dr. Facilier would fit right in with his control of dark magic. Yzma’s alchemy and sorcery could make for an excellent boss battle. Madam Mim’s shapeshifting could be an intense multi-stage fight. Turbo would jump at the chance to dominate another video game. Hell, they should put Cruella de Vil in the game just because.

The trouble with all of these is that they’re all single-world threats. They don’t hit hard enough to match up to, you know, Sephiroth.

There’s another option, though. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit was Walt Disney’s first animated character, but he took a backseat to now-international-icon Mickey Mouse. Sometimes, though, he reemerges - most recently as a dark version of Mickey in the Epic Mickey series.

In Kingdom Hearts, Mickey is (hilariously) a messiah-like hero of light, so Oswald could conceivably be a reverse version. A cartoony Keyblade wielder with dark versions of Mickey’s god-powers. He’s got the prestige and the lore. Why not take him on?

Of course, the same issue that applies to Kefka affects Oswald: he’s innately goofy, which might damage the brooding, trenchcoat image of a secret ultimate boss. Of course, what with Gruff Mickey as he appears in Kingdom Hearts, maybe they’d make Oswald edgy enough to fit. Somehow.

Numberwang: Sho Minamimoto

Here’s one of Nomura’s creations who could use some more time in the spotlight. Minamimoto is a villain in The World Ends With You, a Reaper who hounds the characters. He’s known for making big piles of garbage and shouting mathematical functions at people (“Sine, cosine, tangent!”). Basically, a flawless character.

The protagonists from his game appeared in the most recent Kingdom Hearts as major players, so there’s some small precedent. Also, he turns into a demigod or something by the end of the game, so he’s probably strong enough.

There are a couple of other characters from The World Ends With You who could work here. First is Joshua, but he’s been in Kingdom Hearts already. Next is the actual TWEWY antagonist, but he’s kind of forgettable. There’s also a secret boss in TWEWY who could show up, but he’s only intimidating because you spent the whole game talking to him and assuming his unimportance.

No, the reason I went straight for Sho is because he’s a certified memer. Don’t underestimate that meme magic. I don’t remember much about the main bosses of TWEWY, but I absolutely remember Shouting Math Guy, and being memorable is what counts in a super-secret ultimate boss fight.

Sadly, this is just grasping at straws. In the end, Minamimoto is a little guy from a little game - on a Nintendo console, even. But you know what they say: a dream is a wish your heart makes.

Burn Victim: Darth Vader

Yeah, I went there. Star Wars is Disney now, and all bets are off. Up is down, black is white, the Jedi are evil.

I’ve seen a lot of comments online about how terrible it would be if Star Wars or Marvel got into Kingdom Hearts, but I just can’t understand them. The whole point of this franchise, besides making big buckets of money, is to rampage across a huge range of wacky environments. Adding Star Wars would be super wacky AND good for more money buckets, so they should do it the moment they get the chance. It’s as simple as that.

Let me address Marvel Comics for a moment. There are a number of villains from that universe who could appear in Kingdom Hearts as superbosses, but they don’t appeal to me very much. A comics expert probably has better opinions than I do, but the bad dudes powerful enough to show up seem kind of dull to me, and the interesting ones are too weak.

Planet-eating Galactus would be a good fit for Kingdom Hearts, but what does the big guy even do? Generic lasers and large hand slap? Doctor Doom is a classic, but when he fights mano a mano it ends up being tiny guns and foot dive. M.O.D.O.K.? A true role model and friend to all, but too weak. Magneto is the best cross between power and panache I can think of from Marvel, but beating up a Holocaust survivor probably crosses a few too many lines, even for Kingdom Hearts.

Despite my complaints, I’d be okay with just about anything from Marvel or Star Wars in the Kingdom of Heart. The wackier, the better, I always say. Still, my dreams of wackiness will likely go unfulfilled. The odds of getting any of that stuff in is pretty low at the moment. But what if there’s just enough influence to take just one piece of Star Wars into Kingdom Hearts? One character, for one fight, harder than any other?

Right off the bat, Vader commands more respect than Sephiroth. A lot more. Here’s a character everyone knows, one of the most infamous villains of all time. He fits the role of ultimate boss extremely well. He’s proficient in one-on-one combat, he’s filled with mystic powers, his saber fighting could lead to great Keyblade clashes, and he generally fits the light vs. darkness themes of Kingdom Hearts.

Beyond the Lucasfilm fees, though, there’s one other issue. His live-action-movie fighting style might not translate well to Kingdom Hearts’ hopping-around-and-exploding-into-beams-of-light fighting style. The game might actually be too goofy for Lord Vader. Maybe not, seeing as how Keyblade Dude Sora has faced off against live-action people before (Pirates of the Carribean and Tron), but the incongruity might be too much for the lawyers, if not the players.

There’s just one name left on my wishlist.

No, Darth Vader isn’t final enough to take the top spot. He’s a lousy dad.

My most wanted superboss candidate can only be THE #1 dad of all time.

The Best: Jecht

Jecht is like if sports became a human being. All he does is play ball, go on adventures, and insult his son. He’s perfect.

He stands alongside Sephiroth and Kefka as the more-or-less final boss of Final Fantasy X. There’s already a lot of X representation in Kingdom Hearts - Tidas is in, Wakka is in, Auron is in, YuRiPa is in. Adding the big man himself wouldn’t be much of a stretch. Plus, Jecht’s natural habitat is the stadium, which is where secret optional bosses are often fought.

This is the guy I want to fight as the secret boss. He’s a being of near-godlike power, and is also a dumb asshole who throws a ball at your head while calling you a wimp. He’s got the strength, and the pedigree as the boss of one of the most beloved Final Fantasies. No licencing issues, no nothing. His favorite prey is lame kids, and that’s basically main character Sora in a nutshell.

Best of all, though, is his fight song “Otherworld”, which (if you for some reason prefer not to hear its glory) is just a guy screaming over guitars. It tries so hard, it’s unbearably stupid. But then it tries even harder and loops back around to being really funny, and then loops some more until it’s actually a nice jam.

That closes out my list of potential secret bosses for Kingdom Hearts 3, but there are plenty of options I didn’t cover. In the end, I’ll be happy with any fight that’s fun and has a lot of exploding light particles. With luck, we might even get multiple secret bosses! It’s happened before.

Deeborm signing off for now. Here’s hoping Kingdom Hearts 3 will be worth the wait.

... but it will probably just be Sephiroth again.

[krustentier7]

The games I played in 2016

You’re probably expecting the first paragraph to be about what a shit year 2016 was in general, but that’s so played out and I don’t really want to waste too much time. With video games specifically, I can say that this year at least for me has seen a massive drop off in quality compared to last. We did have a few pretty monumental releases that were a long time coming, but really nothing as legendary as any of my Top 5 placements of last year.

That said, I went over the list of game releases in 2016 last night and god damn, I played (and beat!) a lot of fucking games this year. In fact, while the number of games that I was interested in and didn’t get a chance to play is still pretty high, I managed to play *more* games than that. I keep feeling myself being increasingly strapped for time, and yet I still managed to play a lot and be part of the conversation, which I’m really happy about.

Still, I want to give you a list of titles I was interested in, but didn’t get a chance to play much of (despite even owning some of them) before we really kick things off: Owlboy, The Silver Case, Severed, Guilty Gear Xrd Revelator, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir (own that one), Dragon Quest VII, Thumper, Rez Infinite (mostly for Area X but fuck paying $30 for an HD remake of a Dreamcast game, even if it’s Rez), Amplitude, Salt and Sanctuary, Pokkén Tournament, Enter the Gungeon (another one I own), VA-11 HALL-A, Let It Die (first impression was pretty bad, but I dig the concept, so I want to give it another shot when I have time), Grow Up (own this one too), Steins;Gate Zero, ReCore (it’s on my hard drive), Darkest Dungeon, Gunvolt 2, Gears 4.

See, I did a similar thing last year and a lot of the games I mentioned there I still haven’t played, soooooooo… yeah… just thought I should mention them before anyone wonders where they are, let’s move on.

I’m also vaguely interested in Dishonored 2, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided (which I actually own since I’m bad with money), Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth, Watch Dogs 2 and Pokémon SuMo? Mostly because I’ve heard good things about them and less because actual personal desire to play them.

Now, one thing I want to do that I didn’t last year is talk about a few games that I played that didn’t come out in 2016, they’re pretty noteworthy titles that I’m glad I finally got around to and mark some of my high points for this year.

Earthbound and Mother 3

The best roadtrip games that I played this year. I tried getting into Earthbound countless times over the years and always stopped not very far in for various reasons, but when it was released to the 3DS’s Virtual Console earlier this year, I knew that now was the time. It’s a great game to play on a handheld, the fact it took me months to complete (I played it on and off before Summer and then started dedicating entire days to it as I was closing in on the finish line) kind of added to this feeling of going on a huge journey in a way. I love that Earthbound doesn’t hold your hand too much, the environments have so much detail and personality crammed into them and are really fun to explore. The RPG gameplay is fairly basic, but there’s enough room for experimentation to allow for clever and fun strategies, and the limited inventory really keeps you on your toes. I really didn’t expect to like Earthbound as much as I did, it holds up so well both as an experience *and* as a game.

Mother 3 on the other hand is a pretty different experience! It’s a much more linear and guided journey that goes all-in on its more personal and literal story. While Earthbound was all about the adventure with all its ups and downs and less about a larger story, it’s the complete opposite in Mother 3 – and while I ultimately came to prefer Earthbound, this approach does have its merits. It’s become such a meme over the years, but Mother 3 really pulls at your heart-strings, and some of the game’s darker moments I’m really unlikely to ever forget. The story wouldn’t work as well as it does if it weren’t for all the streamlining and hand-holding, and I think as a counterpoint to the first two games in the series, it was a worthy sacrifice. I do think a lot of the RPG open-endedness suffers in this transition to a much more linear journey, and while I do really like the rhythm combo system, I think purely as an RPG, Earthbound is the better game. Side note, but I gotta say that I vastly preferred Earthbound’s more isometric style and open environments to Mother 3’s top-down perspective and extremely linear progression. Both are totally worth playing though and I wouldn’t want them to just be the same thing, it’s good that they’re so different. The Mother 4 fan game is looking to combine aspects of both titles into one, and I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Final Fantasy VII

That’s right, I literally *never* played Final Fantasy VII for longer than ten minutes before it came to PS4. It’s hard to say how much the extra features of that version enhanced the experience for me, turbo mode and toggleable random encounters definitely make this game much more palatable. Overall though, I’m extremely happy to report that the game completely holds up and is *not* overrated.

It really encapsulates what I think RPGs are good at: thirty, forty, fifty, sixty hours, that’s time that is rarely afforded to a story. When I think about Final Fantasy, I think about huge long ass journeys, with so many ups and downs and so many different little arcs, worlds that feel massive and alive, mysterious heroes and grandiose villains, twists and turns, revelations and dramatic high points… that’s Final Fantasy and that’s what VII offers. You really come to love this ragtag group of friends and exploring Gaia (I really love how many different vehicles you unlock by the way) is an absolute joy. Beyond that, I love the Materia system and how flexible it is. I usually only expect that kind of open-endedness from games like SMT, but FFVII has so many wacky combinations and ways to play that it’s almost mesmerizing. Just a wonderful, wonderful game.

The World Ends With You

TWEWY is a game with so many unique ideas crammed into it, none of which I’ve seen before or since its release, that somehow manages to make it all work. It’s easy to forget that games like Persona weren’t nearly as popular then as they are now, so the sheer novelty of a Square Enix RPG set in the modern day that really feeds off Shibuya teenage fashion culture was really something to behold. You eat food and need to wait for it to digest to get buffs, you need to set trends and wear appropriate clothing to raise your stats, YOU FIGHT ON BOTH SCREENS AT ONCE… it shouldn’t all gel together as well as it does, but, well, it does. When the combat and the music completely click, you get one of the most exhilarating and fun RPGs ever made, and the story handles contemporary themes like identity and adolescence with a lot of confidence and vigor.

That doesn’t mean that the game is without flaws though, far from it. I feel like the team spent a lot of time polishing the combat and the presentation (it’s really one of the most stylish games you’ll ever play) and put a lot of thought into its story, but the overall structure feels like a complete afterthought.  You’re constantly asked to run back and forth through a tiny game world, story progression is often gated off behind menial tasks. The combat is so much fun and the learning curve so steep that it really carries the experience, but if they ever decide to make a sequel (MEME), this is one area that really needs to improve. Beyond that, a lot of important abilities that really round off the combat and make it actually feel fully playable are locked behind story progression; you feel artificially gimped for way too long. The game has problems differentiating between similar touch inputs at points, having to drag Neku across the screen to move is tough to get used to (I realize there’s no real way around these problems though), and the dual-screen gameplay can vary wildly between a tightly choreographed ballet or a button-mashy mess.

All of these flaws are easy to forgive though when TWEWY pulls off so many unique ideas with such confidence – it’s a game that’s impossible to hate.

Doom

In preparation for the 2016 sequel, I finally played the original Doom and it’s fucking good? I love the emphasis on high-speed movement and exploration, the gunplay is still insanely polished after all these years and every encounter feels completely hand-crafted. Not much else to say, a total classic.

Max Payne

The original Max Payne is banned here in Germany, but my girlfriend gifted it to me through Steam (<3) and I finally got a chance to play it. It’s really good! Recoil and sound effects on every single gun are spot-on and bullet time/shoot dodges really never get old. I do think it’s a bit of a contrast to Doom, it made me realize that shooters designed around hit scan weapons aren’t really my preferred type of game, but that does little to blemish what’s here.

Resident Evil 4

My last RE4 playthrough had been a while ago, the only reason I’m mentioning it now is because I somehow spent thirty hours replaying this game I know front to back on Professional?? I dunno how that happened, I just know it was fucking GOOD.

I just realized how much time I’ve already spent writing about games that didn’t even come out this year, so before I waste any more time, let’s move on to my honorable mentions, games I played but didn’t make the Top 10 for whatever reason:

Furi

The most impressive thing about Furi is that it’s a great display of working smartly around a tight budget. Crafting a deep action game moveset and then building a game around it that takes advantage of it is nigh-impossible on the scale of a $20 downloadable game (see Platinum’s Korra game for what an attempt at that looks like), so what they did instead is give Rider, Furi’s protagonist, a very limited number of moves that all have purpose and make every single combat encounter in the game a full-on boss fight.

Every boss has a number of unique gimmicks and mechanics for you to figure out, and the game remains engaging and, dare I say it, hype for its entire runtime. The only real problem with Furi is that it’s fundamentally a game about reacting to your enemy and executing a strategy rather than player expression and decision making, the latter being what defines action games like Devil May Cry and Bayonetta. The main innovation of DMC1 was the game’s ranking system: there’ve been countless other games were you run around and kill enemies before it, but DMC1 incentivized you to also try and look cool. That element, playing around with your enemies and exhausting your character’s potential, is what gives these games their staying power, and it’s sorely lacking from Furi. Again, this was really the optimal and only way for this game to be made with the budget that it had, but it sadly fails to offer a lot of the satisfaction that I expect from games of this genre. That’s also why I haven’t gone back for a replay, it’s nice that enemy patterns are mixed up on higher difficulties, but the way I react to them is always going to be the same.

Street Fighter V

I don’t really agree with a lot of the backlash against Street Fighter V, while the relative lack of modes compared to other fighters is pretty baffling, I don’t really know why anyone would purchase this game if not to play 99% online, which is decently robust here. The game has a lot of structural issues, big and small, I think the currency system especially is so incredibly stingy that it might as well not exist, but it’s really too much to get into right now.

The reason Street Fighter has always been my preferred fighting game is how grounded and based on fundamentals it is. I really do get the appeal of games like Marvel, but spending hours upon hours in training mode to learn combo execution is way too daunting for me. Street Fighter gets to the, to me, interesting part of fighting games almost immediately, you can have small mind games and strategies even on very low levels of play. Street Fighter V makes great strides to emphasize this aspect even further: combos are easier to understand than ever, every single character is unique and the V system really helps bringing their strengths to the forefront. You immediately understand what any given character is about and how to play them, which makes finding the right character for you easier and more fun than ever.

I will admit though that there’s a bit too much overlap between different V-Skills and V-Triggers, and the latter generally don’t have as much utility or change the game up as much as I would like.

I have to say that I kind of hit a personal wall with the game, and a lot of the Season 2 changes are looking… questionable. Still, I really can’t deny that I had a great time with it, generally.

Fire Emblem Fates – Conquest

I was pretty burned out after beating Conquest despite enjoying it a lot, which is why I still haven’t gone back and played the other two parts that make up the whole of Fire Emblem Fates. There’s really not much I can say without going super in-depth, I know saying how great the map design is without explaining why is just really blegh but you’ll have to trust me on this one. Every map uses some unique layout and gimmick, your troops complement each other extremely well and you it feels really rewarding to figure out the best positioning and approach for any given situation. My only major misgiving is that Awakening’s relationship mechanics feel very out of place in Conquest’s more linear structure, they incentivize you to play differently from how you actually should and I found them to be really distracting. Other than that it’s an excellent entry into the series.

The Witness

The Witness is really good but I still haven’t beaten it (198 puzzles solved?). I kinda just want to leave it at that but there’s more I can say about it.

While the island the game is set on almost completely disconnected from the actual challenges you encounter, it lends the game an air of mystery and discovering how all the locations are connected and intertwined is really engaging. The Witness has been criticized for this disconnect a lot, every puzzle uses the exact same interface, but I think this approach has a lot of advantages over games like Portal, Limbo or Jonathan Blow’s own Braid. It’s always immediately clear when you’re on the wrong track, and there’s basically no real execution required – any person can draw a line on a grid, the only thing that matters is having the brain power to figure out how to do it.

Two annoyances that I can think of: you have a map of the island, but you can only look at it when you’re on a boat? And some of the puzzle mechanics really didn’t make a lick of sense to me, even after begrudgingly checking a guide. Like, I know I would’ve never figured some of the puzzles out myself because their rules were so arbitrary and hard to understand to me.   Uncharted 4

The action and combat sequences in Uncharted 4 are honestly some of the most breath-taking and heart-pounding I’ve seen in any game, I had moments where my jaw literally dropped to the floor and I was in genuine disbelief at what was happening on my TV. This stands in stark contrast to basically the other half of the game which mostly consists of slowly walking through linear environments, listening to dialogue and pushing crates. These moments served as pace breakers in earlier Uncharted games, but here they’re almost the main focus; it’s no coincidence that, for the first time in the series, there is a menu option to select and play every combat encounter (and just those) after you beat the game once. Some of the climbing and puzzle mechanics were expanded, but not to the degree that they can really stand on their own. I enjoyed exploring Madagascar on the jeep or riding the boat and exploring different islands with Sam (because here we get to do *actual* exploration of sizable environments), but so much of the non-action in Uncharted 4 is barely interactive and, well, boring.

What’s baffling is that the gunplay is so insanely good now that the game really didn’t need hours and hours of unengaging simple ass platforming or walking down straight lines. I love how the little dot inside the aiming reticle moves and twitches offset from the cross, the way enemies and their clothing react to bullet impact. I also find it almost offensive how utterly convinced Naughty Dog seem of their new direction: I think a lot of the quieter moments in The Last of Us were justifiable, but it annoys me that people are under the belief now that walking in a straight line and listening to dialogue is good storytelling. Watching the PSX demo for the upcoming DLC honestly had me burying my face in my hands in disbelief. Storytelling seems to be the only thing they’re passionate about anymore, and it’s to the point that you can just tell how bad Uncharted 4 wants to be a movie instead of a game.

Monster Hunter Generations

I love the Style system and how seamlessly it ties into with the existing weapons and mechanics, not every combination is a winner and you’re required to experiment and find what works best for you. Beyond that though, I found Monster Hunter 4’s story structure to be a huge leap forward for the series, and Generations basically takes all that progress away in favor of barebones quests with next to no context. So many of the Village Quests are based on gathering and mob hunts, you still can’t see Key Quests, and the satisfying progression of unique and charming hubs that defined MH4 has been done away with; hubs are pretty much completely meaningless now and merely serve as nostalgic throwbacks.

I’m making the game sound awful now, it still has everything we’ve come to know and love about Monster Hunter and I would recommend it to anyone, but compared to the evolution that MH4 was, it feels like a stop gap before the series (hopefully) moves on from 3DS. Final Fantasy XV

I plan to talk more in-depth about XV later down the line, and if it weren’t for me tempering my expectations to such a degree it would probably fall under disappointments rather than honorable mentions. I did enjoy my time with it, no doubt, it really nails the feeling of going on a journey and traversing an entire continent mainly through its impressive use of scale and some really cute mechanics like Prompto’s photos or camping. The game can have a really satisfying pull of exploration and combat that, when it clicks, it *really* clicks. It’s clear though that a lot of it doesn’t hold up under scrutiny, and I want to examine it more closely and explain why hopefully in the near future.

Oxenfree

I think what annoyed me the most about Oxenfree is how on-rails it feels? You’re trekking through the woods and Jonas warns you to not get lost, and I just sat there wondering how I’m supposed to get lost when I’m quite literally exploring on rails. That’s mostly what is making me hesitant to play through the game a second time, I really see it becoming something of a slog on repeat playthroughs despite the short length. The story is cute, but it fails to give you a tangible sense of danger or ever really raise the stakes significantly. I think it really could’ve used some puzzle/action moments to inject some variety and engage the player more.

What I’m really impressed by is the dialogue system and how the game really goes all-in on it: conversations and dialogue choices happen without any sort of interruption and feel completely seamless, the dialogue choices themselves almost never follow any discernible patterns or fit inside a box, and the resulting branches and outcomes feel real and natural. I love how talking is really the main bulk of what you do in Oxenfree, and it’s something more games need to try in this fashion.

Overwatch

Overwatch is really good and I think it’s amazing that a multiplayer-only FPS can have such a fleshed-out world and a colorful personality like that, but I don’t really care about objective/team-based games for various reasons and I wish it had a singleplayer. I also haven’t been wanting to dedicate time to games where I don’t make “real” progress lately, and if you take one look at my backlog you’ll know why.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan

I like that you can play levels out of order and a lot of the mechanics kind of start to make sense once you get to the boss fights, the open level structure is also interesting (though not as well executed as Anarchy Reigns or MadWorld), but everything else is pretty much as blegh as you’ve been told on the internet. Mob fights especially are such an incoherent mess that I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

What’s puzzling is that the game really doesn’t seem to lack polish in any way, I don’t get the impression that lack of time or money is the culprit here. That’s pretty disconcerting and I hope it’s not an omen of what’s to come out of Platinum going forward.

Quantum Break

Quantum Break has cool gunplay and a nice little story, but I instantly forgot it existed once the credits stopped rolling. I think a lot of shooters limit their enemy design by choosing a realistic modern day setting, and that issue is on full display here: the number of generic soldiers you mow down just completely washes over you after a while. It’s also easy to draw comparisons to another third person shooter, Vanquish, and one thing I realized when I thought about it this way is that powers in Quantum Break almost never combine in meaningful ways and have too many similar applications. Slowing down time after a dodge, stacking bullets into one big cluster, doing a melee takedown after running – these moves all serve to either buy yourself more time to do damage, or to do a lot of damage at once.

In Vanquish, you can slow down time at basically any point; after you jump over cover, during a dash, after a roll, after you launch yourself in the air with a drop kick or certain melee attacks. From these examples alone you can already see different actions intertwining to give you much more utility than is immediately obvious, but it goes even deeper with things like boost dodging or SHOOTING YOUR OWN GRENADES.

Quantum Break lacks that kind of depth and, while the gunplay is as polished and exciting as you would expect from Remedy, it’s what makes the game rather forgettable.

Disappointments

Games that came out this year and not only didn’t make the Top Ten, but ended up being very disappointing to me personally for various reasons. I do have to add that the three following titles aren’t bad, in fact I’d argue they’re better games than a lot of the honorable mentions; I just happen to be particularly attached to them, emotionally, which obviously creates certain expectations, expectations that weren’t exactly met.

Zero Time Dilemma

The conclusion to the Zero Escape trilogy, it’s kind of hard to talk about what made Zero Time Dilemma disappointing without going into spoilers. I did have a really good time throughout most of the adventure, even though there were a lot of structural aspects to this story I wasn’t entirely on board with (without saying too much, I feel that a lot of events lack lasting consequences and end up falling flat for me and sapping away a lot of the tension). It only really falls apart during the final act, we’re served up ass-pull upon ass-pull (a lot of which have become memes, understandably) and it completely fails to tie up the loose ends of the previous two Zero Escape games. None of the burning questions that VLR left are even remotely addressed, instead Zero Time Dilemma feels very much like its own story, and it isn’t a particularly satisfying one. This trilogy had been such a journey up to this point, and ZTD really had the potential to deliver a massive payoff for all those who stuck with it over all these years, potential that sadly just wasn’t acted upon.

Most of the smart and praiseworthy aspects of this game were already present in VLR (how game progression is closely linked to your understanding of the story) and it’s hard to replicate the same wow factor by just repeating old tricks again. Beyond that, the move to fully animated 3D visuals is well-intentioned, but uh… just look at any of the trailers, really. I’m fully aware that 3D modelling and animation is much easier today than sprite/pixel-art, but I’m finding it hard to believe that they couldn’t just have hired a bunch of artists to draw a few dozen character portraits and environmental backdrops in the vein of 999 with the same budget. I think that’s something a lot of people would have preferred, and it would’ve been an artistic choice that is much more conscious of the team’s capabilities and the available resources.

Not only would that have made the overall presentation much tighter, I also think the game in its current form has a harder time handling exposition and info dumps than its predecessors. You can hardly have a ten minute exposé on Ice-9 within the confines of what is essentially filmic storytelling. There are certain rules animated cutscenes must adhere to: pacing, frequent cuts, length. A huge storytelling advantage games have over other forms of entertainment is that they can have lengthy dialogue sequences using text boxes and the like, without the player becoming unengaged over time and on a much tighter budget. This is something 999 and VLR reveled in, but ZTD’s move to animated cutscenes means that that isn’t an option anymore. These ass-pulls I mentioned earlier are so much harder to buy into now that the world and its rules aren’t as fully established as they were in the previous Zero Escape games.  

Dark Souls 3

I don’t really know what to say about Dark Souls 3. I’ve talked about a lot of misgivings in terms of level design in recent Souls games previously. One thing I would definitely like to add is how mishandled hubs have been in the series ever since Dark Souls 2: in Demon’s Souls, the Nexus was a necessary compromise since From Software weren’t yet able to connect all the areas seamlessly. The game managed to make this into a strength, however, by having the hub constantly change throughout the adventure and giving the player the option to tackle levels in any order. Items are places so deliberately throughout every single level that, on repeat playthroughs, the player will have a deep understanding of where to go early and how to give themselves an advantage through sequence breaks.

Dark Souls doesn’t have quite the same flexibility as Demon’s, owing to its move to a seamless world structure. I still think it’s a great trade-off though, because the feeling of knowing a game inside out and having the wit to figure out the perfect order in which to do things is so much stronger now that the game world is completely interconnected and requires you to map everything out in your head. Figuring out that you can go to Blighttown early or fight Pinwheel as your first boss is so much cooler when you actually physically have to perform these leaps and sequence breaks instead of just using a level select like in Demon’s Souls.

Firelink Shrine was an important piece in this puzzle: Lordran’s layout is so smart that just progressing through the game and using shortcuts as you normally would meant you had to return there frequently, and every time you would discover some new interesting change that further informs your understanding of the game world.

Now, two things: first, I think warping from the start of the game is a huge mistake. It completely removes the need for shortcuts and an interconnected game world, and it compromises this feeling of understanding and getting to know your surroundings. Dark Souls 3 and Bloodborne both have branching points where you get to choose which area to tackle first, but that’s really not the same as figuring these connections and branches out yourself. Even so, while both games have very wide and expansive areas, game progression is almost entirely linear compared to Demon’s or Dark Souls. I think 3 is a better game than 2, but I would honestly go as far to say that Dark Souls 3 is the most linear Souls game yet.

Second, it’s obvious that From Software recognized fundamental flaws in this design approach: if you can just warp anywhere and the world isn’t really interconnected, it means you’re not naturally going to return to your hub like you would in Demon’s or Dark Souls. And if the player doesn’t do that, they’re going to miss out on important NPC interactions and it makes it impossible for the designers to reset the player’s focus when they want to.

Their solution to this was to remove the ability to level up at any bonfire; the only way to do that in post-Dark Souls titles is to go back to the hub and speak to an NPC. I think the fact this change had to be made just shows that the whole idea of warping from the start was ill-conceived. Whereas the hubs in Demon’s and Dark Souls had purpose and a reason to exist, they’re nothing more than a contrivance and old baggage here.

To talk more about Dark Souls 3 specifically, a few rapid-fire points: the bosses are really great and varied and unique, and I like the weapons a lot (even though Weapon Artes didn’t live up to their full potential). I’m extremely conflicted on the amount of references and callbacks to other Souls games; every moment that I found hype or memorable was thanks to my experience with every other Souls game up to that point, which just makes me really sad thinking about it. I also think the way some of the open questions that Dark Souls left are answered so lazily here that I honestly wish they hadn’t bothered and stayed away from the first game’s legacy. Final point: god this game looks so much like Bloodborne that it’s uncanny, I genuinely can’t tell the two apart sometimes. That’s all the more upsetting because Bloodborne was a much, much better game with a lot more creative energy behind it. WHICH BRINGS ME TO...

Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse

This game is fucking shit and I’m legit not joking when I say that I have not even the faintest as to why anyone would think it’s better than the original.

Actually okay, let me back up, this game has all the trappings of any good SMT aka monster collecting/fusing and fast-paced high-stakes combat. On that fundamental primal level, Apocalypse can be pretty fun, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy min-maxing and planning out how I’m going to build my party. Some of the balance and system tweaks I’m also on board with (Skill Affinities and Demon Negotiation, namely), but everything else is such a far cry from the original SMT IV that it’s honestly hard to believe. I know I’m gonna go more in-depth with this game in the future, so I can’t go into full detail about my complaints just yet, but needless to say that, seeing how much I loved and appreciated SMT IV, this is easily my biggest disappointment of the year.

On that note, I am very curious if some of the mechanics on display here are going to find their way into Persona 5, which is not something I would be against.

And now what you’ve all been waiting for, here are my ten favorite games of 2016:

10. Superhot

Superhot was really cool, but I kind of just instantly forgot about it when I beat it. Crazy potential for a sequel and I would definitely play it again and again if it weren’t for me trying to avoid replays in favor of working on my backlog.

9. Hyper Light Drifter

I really love the combat, the aesthetics and the approach to tone and storytelling in Hyper Light Drifter, but I think it didn’t quite live up to its full potential. I keep seeing people comparing this to the original Zelda (a game I am very fond of), and while I can see where they’re coming from (both games are comparatively minimalist and open-ended to most games out there, and they emphasize combat and easy-to-understand challenges over puzzles and the like), it’s really not on the same level for me. While there are plenty of secrets tucked away in HLD’s world and the order in which to tackle every area is up to you, it still follows a very basic, formulaic structure: here’s your hub, here are four areas connected to it, every area, while expansive, is its own completely separate challenge.

Compared to games like Dark Souls or yes, the original Zelda, item placements also don’t feel as deliberate, the world’s layout doesn’t seem to reward knowledge and efficient replays very much. Important, powerful items are often either rewards for completing story tasks are upgrades you buy with points from a shop in the hub. I think this basic four-area structure and the fact that everything outside the hub is very much challenge-focused (meaning you’re not gonna encounter NPCs or special shops like you would in the other games I mentioned) is a real missed opportunity.

What also put a damper on my enjoyment of the game are a lot of the technical problems I had with the PC version, which have been largely fixed over time, making me wish I had waited a bit longer to play it. I am really excited to revisit it though.

8. Super Mario Run

I’ve tweeted about this before, but what I like the most about Super Mario Run is that I’m not punished for running through every level as fast as I can. That’s the most fun way to play 2D Mario to me, stopping my forward motion to look for secrets just isn’t something I’m really into. Thankfully, 100% completion and fast-paced platforming aren’t mutually exclusive in Mario’s first mobile outing. It’s impressive how Nintendo’s designers have managed to cram clever and varied optional challenged into the confines of an auto-runner, and watching Mario vault over enemies and do a turn after every walljump is an absolute joy; he hasn’t felt this acrobatic since Mario 64. Super Mario Run is proof that control or hardware limitations can sometimes open up completely new gameplay possibilities, and I think it’s something future 2D Mario games can definitely draw from.

7. Titanfall 2

Why is this game so good?? I don’t think anyone really saw it coming. I have a lot of fundamental issues with military-style shooters (two-weapon limits, a lot of weapons fulfilling the same purpose, emphasis on hit scan enemies, regenerating health, sprinting meaning I can’t shoot while I’m moving at top speed), and while Titanfall 2 has basically all of those same trappings, it adds enough on top of the formula to somehow make it work. You have a staggering amount of movement options, most of which allow you to stay on the offense while traversing at high speeds, and the expansive environments mean you can approach any combat situation as you please without being forced into cover very much. So many times I would let off shotgun blasts while sliding along the ground or detonate C4 charges in mid-air, and the mechanics are so insanely polished and versatile that they wouldn’t feel out of place in a Platinum game.

I also think that the idea of Titans is such a smart addition to the formula that I’m surprised other shooters haven’t come up with it before. It injects gameplay variety and means the player has to be competent at two completely different styles of movement and shooting, which also intertwine in logical and cool ways (lots of opportunities to switch between Pilot and Titan gameplay on the fly). I love that you can change between so many completely different Titan loudouts at any time (not having all of them unlocked from the start for New Game+ or something of the sort is a huge missed opportunity), and they’re also an amazing way to have boss fights in this style of shooter. That also ties into how well the game expands on this idea for its story, every opponent you face throughout the adventure has their own personality and mechanics to come to grips with, and the bond between you and BT feels tangible. It’s unbelievable how this game was sent out to die by EA, they really didn’t know what they had.

6. Doom

This game is so insanely talked about that I struggle to add anything to the conversation, so just trust me when I say it’s good. I love how smartly it bucks a lot of recent FPS trends with its movement and health mechanics, with how every weapon feels like a meaningful part of the adventure and enemies don’t use hit scan, rewarding constant movement and awareness of your surroundings (which reminds me a lot of Metroid Prime somehow?). Every part of your arsenal has some limitation on how often you can use it, and later stages of the game especially become all about planning ahead and thinking constantly about when and where to use different abilities.

Glory Kills especially are such a fantastic mechanic and accomplish so many different things, and I love how your position/camera angle relative to the enemy affects the animation you’re going to get. Small thing, but too often I would trigger a Glory Kill only to watch Doomguy turn a demon into mush with a single half-hearted punch, I know they were made shorter after some feedback, but I actually prefer what they used to be like I think. The level design is very wide and vertical and encourages exploration, but that is sadly mostly limited to optional secrets; you can crit path your way through Doom very easily, the main story doesn’t require you backtrack and learn the layout of a map like the original two games or 64 did. That’s probably my main gripe with the game, but it’s still an absolute blast and something everyone has to play.

5. Inside

The only thing I really want to say and praise about Inside is that it’s a game that is not afraid to be completely and utterly disgusting in its imagery, but also paces itself and builds suspense so well that it never feels like shock value. Inside really delivers on the curiosity it creates inside the player’s mind from the word “go!”, and it feels so confident in its execution that it makes Limbo look quaint in comparison. The move to 3D visuals really elevates the experience in ways you wouldn’t expect. I honestly just don’t want to spoil anything, just go and play it.

4. The Last Guardian

I said everything there is to say about The Last Guardian in my recent post on it. All I can say now is that I hope the fact it trumps so many excellent games on this list is what’s going to give you all the urge to play it.

3. Star Fox Zero

I’m not fucking sorry.

I know I look like a crazy person, but hear me out, I’m even going to start with the bad if that makes you happy. I think rebooting the Star Fox story was very much necessary with how every attempt to move it forward has resulted in.. well, you know. The fact that it is the Lylat Wars again and that Andross is the villain really isn’t an issue to me, it’s more that this game really had the potential to elevate the story telling in the series to the standard of something like The Wonderful 101. I’m not sure if Miyamoto would’ve focused his efforts on that front if he had been given more time (I doubt it) and it still makes me yearn for a Star Fox game directed by someone like Hideki Kamiya.

This directly ties into the game’s other big shortcoming: it could REALLY use more levels. I think the length that is here is perfectly fine for a Star Fox game, my issue is rather that it never seems to be able to fully spread its wings and unleash the complete potential of its gameplay. With the Wii U suffering a less than peaceful death, I doubt we will get another attempt at this, and I have to say that if we ever get another Star Fox game, I’m really going to miss these controls.

Yeah, you heard me. I LOVE Star Fox Zero’s controls.

Just the ability to aim independently from your ship’s movement affords you a degree of control and precision that just hasn’t existed in the series thus far. You can draw comparisons to games like Kid Icarus Uprising and Sin and Punishment 2, but what makes Star Fox an interesting case is how your ship always moves forward; these other games use a setup where you move your character across the screen while the camera shifts and pans dynamically to capture different sensations of movement. In Star Fox Zero, the camera is always (mostly) behind you and you’re always in danger of being hit by whatever is in front of you. The idea that I can now aim anywhere no matter where I am on the screen gives you so much more freedom in how you position yourself and approach any given situation, and that’s what makes it such a great addition.

This all also means that there is another layer of skill involved with aiming that you don’t get in other games. For example, certain targets are harder or easier to hit depending on your Arwing’s vertical position on the field, and the fact you’re moving forward constantly means you have a limited window in which you can even attempt a shot. What you can now do is morph into the chicken walker (which halts your forward motion), use the thrusters adjust your elevation and hit your target. The game is full of little tricks like that and I haven’t seen much else like this in other shooters of this nature.

The dual-screen aspect of the controls is such a cool and interesting idea that I would love to see expanded upon in future titles, because it’s clear that it sadly never unleashes its full potential here. It still really elevates the experience though, mostly during All-Range mode where it perfectly intertwines with another new mechanic: Target View.

Holding ZL will make the camera pull back and center on an enemy, giving you a much better view of your surroundings than was previously possible in past Star Fox games. The reason this could be implemented here IS the second screen: if you put Target View in Star Fox 64 with the exact same controls as before, it wouldn’t be of much use since you a.) can only shoot at what is directly in front of you and b.) YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU SINCE YOU DON’T HAVE A SECOND SCREEN. This addition makes Star Wolf especially so much more fun to fight since you can constantly stay on the offensive and react to your enemy’s movements immediately, frantically shifting back and forth between both screens. A lot of bosses will also use attacks that would be impossible to dodge without something like Target View, which makes them much more varied and interesting than bosses in previous Star Fox games.

I love how you can basically pick a flight path on the TV, then shoot from the gamepad to go on a sort of bombing run. I love how the gamepad expands the field of view, letting you shoot targets you’ve already passed by and creating opportunities for hidden targets in most stages.

By far the cutest thing about the controls is how the right stick is used to manipulate your Arwing’s movement. Tilting the stick left or right will make the Arwing gradually bank in that direction, giving it a quick rattle results in a barrel roll – it just feels so tactile and *right*. That’s especially true when you use it in conjunction with the left stick to adjust your turning speed (I do wish you could turn off the Somersault and U-Turn stick commands and just use the B and X buttons) or smoothly go into a boost or pull the break by pushing the right stick up or down, which also just feels right.

There’s more I could ramble on about, but this whole thing is way too long already and I mostly just wanted to address the main sticking points everyone’s been up in arms about with Star Fox Zero. Everything else is mostly the Star Fox you and love: frantic, fast-paced action with a satisfying learning curve and plenty of incentives to keep playing after the credits roll. The Wii U and maybe even this series might have died an unsavory death, but I’m glad I still got to experience Nintendo and Platinum to take on one of my most dear and beloved franchises in such a bold and innovative and exciting way.

2. AM2R

By far the best Metroid game since Zero Mission (maybe even better than that? I need to replay Zero Mission and Super) and in fact so good that I really don’t give a shit it’s not made by Nintendo. A few rapid-fire points:

Biggest and most varied array of bosses out of any 2D Metroid game.

Expansive, vertical areas with tons of different layers and great shifts in pacing and progression.

Controls like BUTTER.

Unlocking areas in chunks makes it a bit more linear than I would like, but there are still plenty of opportunities to get lost, do things in different orders, explore and sequence break.

More to that point, I think the idea of hunting down Metroids and unlocking chunks of world in set intervals makes for a slightly different and very enjoyable pacing compared to most Metroid games.

The visuals aren’t an exact copy of either Super Metroid’s or Zero Mission’s art styles, instead they try to adhere to and recreate the GameBoy original in a 16-Bit style. A lot of the tiles and surfaces have a rougher, flatter look to them than what you’re used to in these other games, and combined with the way color and space are used, it creates a style that is completely unique and extremely faithful to the original game.

I don’t want to get too upset about Nintendo taking this game down and denying it any sort of recognition, it’s their IP and they can do what they want with it. I personally just have to question if this was really the best way to handle the situation, and it’s sad to see such a phenomenal game be dragged out of the limelight. Coupled with Metroid as a franchise being basically dormant at this point, it’s an unfortunate state of affairs all around. None of this can diminish the quality and the value of what’s here though, and I urge everyone to give AM2R a try.

1. Dragon Quest Builders

I think… a discussion as to whether or not it’s alright to praise Dragon Quest Builders as much as I have and will continue to do when it rips off another game as much as it does is absolutely worth having… but this is not the time and place for that right now, because right now I have to gush over this beautiful, jolly, wondrous game.

Dragon Quest Builders has given me a sense of adventure and wonder unlike any game I’ve played this year. As someone who hasn’t played a lot of Dragon Quest, what always drew me to the series is how it radiates joy and manages make things that could be seen as menial or pedestrian in other games feel exciting and meaningful and sincere. All of that is true in spades for Builders, I just have to watch the CGI intro every time I boot up the game because just seeing that stubby little anime boy flash a cheeky grin or take a bite out of an apple puts a smile on my face.

Dragon Quest Builders takes everything that makes Minecraft great (building stuff and complete freedom in how you do it, a world that has a sense of vastness and randomness and mystery) and adds structure and characters with unique personalities and desires into the mix. I love that everything I build has a distinct purpose: this is my smithy, this is my Inn, this is that person’s bedroom. What’s brilliant is that while the story doesn’t take place entirely in your head like it does in Minecraft, you not only still have the potential to bring in your own creativity, you’re very much encouraged to do so.

What I mean is this: even though I don’t technically have to, I feel much more inclined to decorate a private bedroom according to the owner’s personality than I normally would be if I were just building it for myself. The game never asked me to put a cute little table in Pippa’s room, I just thought it would suit her. This gets to the point where you design your entire town with its residents in mind, and it’s an element that is sorely lacking from other building-type games.

The game is very smartly designed in that it frequently shifts between vastly different tasks that not only satisfy a lot of different urges, but also take great advantage of the existing mechanics. Often, you’re simply asked to raise the level of your town by building whatever you desire in it, and I had the bar well maxed out halfway through the first chapter (every chapter is its own story and long enough to be a full game). Sometimes, the game will give you rough outlines, saying that the structure you’re about to build must meet certain conditions (this many tables, this many chests, a window, etc.), but besides those you’re given free reign in how to approach your creations. Other times, you’re handed exact blueprints telling you what to build, the challenge being more about gathering the necessary materials, which results in frequent and satisfying bouts of exploration.

These portions of Dragon Quest Builders aren’t all that special on the surface, there isn’t much to combat, and yet the fact that I can dig into the world at any point, how huge and imposing everything feels, how varied and fun the enemies are, how resources are limited and that you need to pay attention to hunger and health at all times… it creates such a great sense of adventure that makes me yearn even more for Breath of the Wild than I already am. I love the sense of immediacy you get from finding little caves and dungeons, how every treasure you find feels real and earned (the fact that the game doesn’t shove a mini cutscene down my throat every time I open a chest and presents its spoils at face value is something I really appreciate) and just how idyllic it feels to mine the earth and  gather resources as you watch the sun go up and down, its reflection drifting softly along the calm water.

It’s also incredibly refreshing to see Dragon Quest Builders making crafty changes to Minecraft’s formula when necessary: placing blocks below and above you is so much easier thanks to the use of the shoulder buttons, you can smoothly draw entire lines of walls without any hassle, and I love how you can essentially upgrade the materials of any structure you’ve already built after the fact (you can craft an item that lets you change a wooden wall into a brick one, for example).

This game is simply incredibly, and I really urge anyone to try it, even if it doesn’t look like your kind of thing initially. It wasn’t on my radar at all before, and yet here I am, proudly declaring it as my favorite game of 2016.