#i know this is meant to be a serious scene but lightning telling chick to get therapy made me laugh out loud

[lomotunes2008]

Learning that Chick Hicks is mean because his dad was mean to him when he was young was not something I expected to learn today

Get this car a therapist 🙏

[thought-i-to-myself]

Since you're absolutely brilliant, Id love to hear your opinion and break down on the ending bickering scene and the development of Ann "This is my life now, piss off good sir" Walker because what an icon. I can only hope this little cute skirmish brings on many sweet and funny moments between the two. 💞

YES I THINK IT SHALL.  Ann Walker was on fire this episode, except for that moment when it was her drawing of Anne that was actually on fire which was devastatingly tragic.  BUT YES.  We have known all along that Ann had some fight in her so it was absolutely thrilling and inspiring to see her stand up for herself, by herself.  Let’s recap:

In 1 x 02, Anne finds out that some members of Ann’s idiotic tribe are totally taking advantage of the fact that she is $$$ loaded, and she helps her compose a strongly-worded letter as a means of defending her and her cash.  And Coach Anne says that she’d be willing to come back next time and dictate another, but like all great coaches, she hopes instead that Ann will be able to do it herself in the future.  Teach a woman to fish, and all that …

In 1 x 05, we see some sparks of Ann’s fight, particularly when it comes to Ainsworth.  First, Anne again helps her write a letter telling that wretch off (lesbians love writing letters, if you didn’t know) and then Reverend Assworth has the nerve to come right the fuck over anyway.  Ann sticks to her guns and tells James (“Yes, thank you James!”) to send him on his merry way, and to remind him that she JUST SENT HIM A FLIPPING LETTER TELLING HIM TO BACK OFF.  But I think it’s important to note that Anne is in the room here, she’s literally in Ann’s corner so to speak.  [Also is it just me or does anyone else say “Yes, thank you James!” in Ann’s perfect voice every time you see James on screen? Just me? Ok whatevs.]  Secondly, there’s a part later in this episode where Ann has sent word that she’s not feeling well and instructed everyone to leave her alone, and ELIZA this time comes right the fuck over anyway.  What is it with these people?  And Ann has a great little scene (that I know I still need to gif for @nikkupsticks, sorry friend) where she says she didn’t hear the doorbell ring and Yes-thank-you-James tells her that Eliza came around back.  Ann groans (the hbo caption actually says “[groans]”) and tells Miss Parkhill snarkily that “she sneaks in,” and that people show up anyway even when you ask them not to.  Then she tells Miss Parkhill that she might head back upstairs, and though this is kind of a throwaway line, to me it’s signaling that Ann does have that fight-or-flight instinct within her somewhere, it’s just buried under layers of civility.  But she’s well on her way to reaching her breaking point.

In 1 x 06, Ann tells Anne that when she’s with her, she feels like she could take on the world and boom, it’s like by saying it outloud like that Ann has totally jinxed herself because OF COURSE now she’s gonna have to learn how to take on the world without Anne first before she gets to be with Anne.  And throughout episodes 5 and 6 we see several moments where Ann is so sure of her feelings for Anne when they’re together in the bedroom or behind closed doors but then 180s in the light of day, faced with her family and the jeering eyes of society.  And the difference in all those instances is Anne: when Ann has Anne as backup, as her coach, her teammate, she is willing and able to fight for what she wants. That is, until Ann - sweet cinnamon roll Ann who has been sort of cast aside and dragged around by her family her whole life - has to go to Scotland to be with big sis and big sis’s disgusting human of a husband because family always knows what’s best (???) and birthing children solves all a person’s problems (???).

UGGHHH that brings me to the heartbreaking scene in 1 x 08 where Ann is so sad and downtrodden - she doesn’t know yet that Anne’s written, that Anne still cares for her -  that she’s basically resigned herself to think maybe she should go be with whatever poor schmuck Capt. Sutherland wants.  I mean this is the product of years of abusive behavior by her family which has led Ann to believe that she’s worthless.  And with no signs of life from Anne, Ann’s spark is all-but-extinguished until big sis ELIZABETH swoops in because big sisters are fucking awesome and girl knows that it’s SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS and CHICKS BEFORE DICKS and that friendships between women are literally the most important thing in the world full stop.  So Ann Walker hears that Anne hasn’t let go yet and the flame is reignited and whatever idea Ann had tried to convince herself of that being with joe schmoe might actually be bearable is struck down by Elizabeth’s lightning rod words that you should do what who makes you happy and if that’s a coal pit-sinking brunette in a greatcoat and a tophat with a killer smile and eyes that make you go weak at the knees then go for it little sis because gal pals like that don’t come along every day!!!  Is that not what she said? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what she said.

So you know what comes next, Anon: it’s “I’ll deal with it,” and “bye bitch, thanks for having me, see ya never!” and “everything that has to do with me is my choice.“  And yeah, ok, so she’s got Eliza and Eliza’s hubby there and Elizabeth is secretly on her team too, but she’s standing up for herself because she’s finally reached her breaking point and come to the conclusion that letting other people decide for her is not working, civility be damned.  Remember how joyfully Ann talked about “my sister, Elizabeth!!” in episode 2? Go back and watch it, she says it like that 3 times in the span of 10 minutes.  And now here we are, however many months later it is, and Ann is staring into the face of her older sister Elizabeth who is revealing that she’s actually miserable and intimating that husbands and babies aren’t always all they’re cracked up to be.  So I think that for Ann, she sees in her sister’s eyes what her world will look like if she goes down that path and that fight-or-flight kicks in.  And then there’s Anne.  And there’s that feeling, that deep, indescribable thing in her bones that Ann feels when she’s with Anne. That thing that turns her into Ann “I’d love to paint you” Walker and Ann “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you” Walker and Ann “it’d be like a marriage”/“like a wedding?”/“is it not the same as a proposal?” Walker.  And that thing wins out.  Because that thing is real, and Anne’s real, and because “often a good friendship [with a woman] is better than a marriage [to a man].”  And if a good friendship with a woman is better than a marriage to a man, then what could be better than secretly marrying that good friend who is a woman and living as secret wives gal pals for the rest of your days.  Not a damn thing, that’s what.

The wifely witty bickering at the end of the episode is just icing on the (wedding) cake.  These two have gone through the gauntlet of emotions, both together and apart this season, but this idea that they’d make a lasting commitment to each other and solidify it with some sort of symbolic gesture has been lingering between them for months at this point.  But now there are no more words.  No more yes’s or no’s. No more “I can’t.”  No more “you came so close.” Exchanging rings in the carriage, sealing it with kisses, taking communion together, That Finger Graze, smiling on the way out of the church - all of it was wordless.  They didn’t have to say anything.  They knew how serious it was for each of them. They understood the gravity of it all, the weight of what they were doing, what it meant, and what it cost. And so by the time they got back to the alleyway, they had taken the sacrament together and were wearing rings on their fingers, and there were no more questions about what they were to each other or what they’d be in the future.  It was done.

So the last scene, the playful back and forth - that’s totally what marriage is, isn’t it?  It’s a comfort thing. Anne can joke with Ann about her being morethan a pretty face because she knows she’s not going anywhere.  Ann can stomp all over Anne’s plans, or boss her around (please god yessss) and order her to put away her pocketwatch because she knows Anne won’t leave her. And those all just words anyway, you know?  And now, our Ann(e)s, our beautiful, remarkable, perfect Ann(e)s are married. And that is so much bigger than words.

This show is fucking perfect.  

[kyurilin]

Happy 11th Birthday, The Wreck!

In honor of my oldest Cars story, here is a list of everything I remember about all 7 stories of the Life Is A Highway Series, otherwise known as the absolute chaos I began with The Wreck.  I’ll throw it under a read more because this is going to get really, really long.

The Wreck

first story of the whole series, the plague that started it all

First chapter was a race, i believe set the season after the tiebreaker race, with a Ferrari named Tamburo Piacenza as the Dinoco sponsor

Chick gets crashed by Tamburo, so badly he has to leave the race and for some reason is taken to Radiator Springs

Chapter 2- the one where we suddenly find out Chick has a Mustang daughter named Misty who, unsurprisingly, went by Thunder.  I really liked that as a name back in ‘06.  I think this chapter also had Chick learning he’d crashed so bad he could never race again.  

Chapters 3, 4, and 5 are lost to time.  I literally could not begin to tell you what happened in them.

Chapter 6.  Misty decides she’s going to race in her dad’s place.  Keep in mind the two of them are still in Radiator Springs at the moment.  Misty leaves Radiator Springs and goes to wherever the next race was meant to be.  In the world of this story, you can get into a race just by signing up even if you’re only a 13 year old Mustang apparently.  At the sign up place, Misty meets Star, another Mustang, and Rusty who’s sole purpose in the story was to be indifferent enough to allow  a 13 year old to race.

Still chapter 6 (or chapter 7?) and Star is suddenly revealed to be Misty’s estranged mother.  Who left Chick because she was worried he’d get too hurt while racing.  Keep in mind, Chick was incredibly out of character in this story.  

Somehow Misty was allowed to race all because she convinced Chick she could do it over a phone call after Star and Chick talked for the first time in years.  Star for some reason left her daughter with Chick and is now suddenly concerned about her daughter’s wellbeing for the first time in years.  Also despite being concerned about racing, she works with racing.  Go figure

Chapter 8 or 9 was Misty’s first race.  I think she won.

Chapter 10 had Star and Chick reuniting for real.  They got back together.  Because that’s plausible in this world.

Chapter 11 is lost to time.

Chapter 12- the return of Tamburo Piacenza.  Who shows up in Radiator Springs.  And for some odd reason already has a personal vendetta against Chick.  He tries to kill Chick.  And gets pushed off a cliff instead. I think the actual pushing off a cliff happened in chapter 13 actually.  Misty did it to save her dad who couldn’t move out of the way in time.  Because he was still beat up.  After the chapter 1 wreck.

Chapter 14 is also lost to time.

Chapter 15 was the epilogue.  Star and Chick got remarried.  Lightning and Sally got married.  Misty became an official Piston Cup racer sponsored by Flixar (i thought I was being funny).  Tamburo Piacenza was left out entirely.

The Past, The Present, and The Uncertain Future

Prologue- Star and Chick now have a son named Danny.  This prologue takes place like a year after the epilogue of the last one.  The DRH come into town, and for some reason the best solution to letting them go is to have Misty beat Wingo in a race.  This was probably because Wingo was a favorite character of mine by that point.  Wingo beats her.  Turns out he’s a racing fan.  The rest of the DRH leave him (also I had them like super young teenagers for some reason??).  Wingo stays in Radiator Springs

Chapter 1- takes place i believe 9 years later.  Wingo and Misty are now a couple and have very young twins Jaina and Jacen (because I’d just gotten off a Star Wars kick).  Lightning and Sally have twins Cherry and Terry.  Wingo was also a racer because logic.  

Chapter 2- Cherry and Terry get mysteriously kidnapped by a blue Ferrari (I think it was that sounds right)

Chapter 3- Danny, Jaina, and Jacen get kidnapped by a Buick with terrible one liners

Chapter 4- I don’t think Sheriff was ever relevant to the story, much less any other actual law enforcement.  So Misty takes matters into her own hands and drives out down Route 66 to find her babies and her little brother. Due to plot devices (aka a storm) she stops in a little town about a half a day down the road from Radiator Springs called Lagartijos Corren (spanish for Lizards Run) where she meets Digit and Sienna Cartmann, and Jessie Currington.  Through a miracle to end all miracles, they have seen who she’s looking for and know where to send her

Chapter 5- Misty (who I forgot, was no longer referred to primarily as Thunder in this story for reasons) finds this abandoned warehouse where all the kids are being kept and is suddenly knocked unconscious

Chapter 6- Misty finds out that Tamburo Piacenza is behind this along with help from Darren McQueen (Lightning’s brother), Trip Weathers (Strip’s brother), and Thunder Hicks (Chick’s brother).  She can’t leave for god knows what reason.

Chapter 7- Wingo, Chick, and Lightning show up.  I think Strip was there too.  They somehow get all the kids and Misty, but then are stopped by the bad guys.  This might also be the chapter where it’s revealed that Tamburo Piacenza is Lightning’s dad.  Either way, the chapter ends with Thunder having a bomb, and Chick for some reason staying behind with the bomb even though all the bad guys leave?  I had it plotted as Chick wasn’t fast enough to escape, but now looking back this makes the least sense.

Anyways, Chick dies in chapter 7 because of his bomb building brother

Chapter 8- everyone else goes back to Radiator Springs.  Misty has to tell her mom that her dad is dead.  

Chapter 9- life continues ???

Epilogue- I think it was a first person POV from Misty about how she was going to get back at the bad guys

Life Is A Highway

Also known as the one this series was named for

Actually I only remember the latter half of this story 

Around chapter 4- Misty decides she’s sick of waiting around.  She wants revenge.  I even had a song I made up for this one.  She heads back to the warehouse where her dad died, but runs into Thunder along the way.  He left the bad guy set because he felt bad about what he did (really, i’m dead serious).  Misty begrudgingly agrees to let him help her. 

Chapter 5- they get to the bad guy’s hideout

Chapter 6- Thunder pulls the whole ‘what we did was wrong’ Tamburo is unamused.  There might have been a fight scene?  Misty was useless in it either way

Thunder has another bomb.  He kills the bad guys.  He murdered a lot of people.  Him and Misty escape back to Radiator Springs.

Honestly this one I think I reread the least??? So I don’t remember much. 

Epilogue- Thunder is easily accepted into living in Radiator Springs.  Turns out Chick also had an older sister named Marianna who comes to live in Radiator Springs.  The DRH finally reappear.  Then girl versions of the DRH reappear.  Everything is happy and somehow Thunder is forgiven

Fun fact- there were two spin offs of The Past, The Present, and the Uncertain Future

One spin off was called Unexpected- Thunder decided as he was leaving Chick to die that he couldn’t live with himself if he did, and saved Chick instead of letting him die.  I actually really loved Unexpected

The other was called Regrets- which basically was just a one shot setting up his character in Life Is A Highway.  

Storm Front

Otherwise known as the cancelled one.

Why?

Because I cancelled it.  

A big storm was going to hit Radiator Springs and split up the town.  I realized this mirrored the plot of a story I was reading at the time too much and cancelled it.  

Dangerous Sparks

I can’t remember when this was supposed to take place.  But I do know I had the first half of series labeled as the Misty stories, and this half labeled the Thunder stories because by this point I liked Thunder far better as a character.

Anyways, another bit of the prologue of Life Is A Highway is that Thunder’s old girlfriend Storm showed up, and the two of them got married and had twins.  Who I believe were named Rain and Lightning

In Dangerous Sparks, the bad guy was a Corvette named Mystery Sparks who showed up using the alias Carson Davis.  Mystery Sparks was a car serial killer.  Who killed all but one car from every family.  It was always a family of five, and she always left the youngest alive.  

As twisted as that is, the plot for Dangerous Sparks was that she wanted revenge on the Hicks family because they were a botched murder attempt.  

Unfortunately with Chick dead, her idea was to instead kill the one who killed him.  That makes no sense.  At all. 

The story ended with Thunder having yet another bomb that he used to blow up himself and Mystery.

Because of plot devices, Thunder lived.  But lost his voice.  Mystery died. 

Dangerous Sparks was a dark story.  I think I only published like two chapters of it before I stopped.

When the Sand Runs Out 

Here’s where we get to the fun part- the stories in the series that actually never saw the light of day.  By the time I got around to typing up Dangerous Sparks, I was losing interest in writing for these characters.  Hence why I gave up before i ever finished posting it.  This story and the next one only existed on paper.  

When the Sand Runs Out was a bittersweet slice of life story about Storm, Thunder, and their kids.  There was a lot of practicing at talking through expressions in this one since Thunder still didn’t have his voice thanks to the bomb in story five.  I believe there were a lot of sweet moments with Thunder and the extended family too.  

Around the last bit of the story Thunder had some sort of issue and was given only a little while to live because it was something that needed to have been fixed ages ago.  I don’t remember if he ever actually told the other characters.

The story ended on super sad note as Thunder ended up actually dying- just as he was able to beat the odds on being unable to speak and tell Storm one last goodbye.  

There was some super sad epilogue to this one as it was originally meant to be the final story

Wish You Were Here

It wasn’t the final story.

This was the final story, and also one that originally was not even planned.  Everything up to When the Sand Runs Out was planned.  This one was a special add on I came up with in my high school creative writing class in 9th grade.  Yes.  I turned this one in for a grade.  My  poor, poor teacher.

Wish You Were Here was  another bittersweet one.  The Hicks family was dealing with their losses- Misty was having a bad racing season, Storm was struggling with the twins, and Marianna was bitter that she’d never gotten to say goodbye to Chick.  

So you wanna know what I did?

I retconned a way to make Chick and Thunder come back to life

It was a miracle

Everyone was happy

The story ended with a race between Marianna, Thunder, and Chick around Willy’s Butte because how else do you end a six story series

Oh yeah Chick being brought back to life magically gave him the ability to race again

Same with Thunder and being able to talk again

I think Thunder even had some ‘hey sorry for killing you Chick’ thing

And that, my friends, was the Life Is A Highway Series.