#i know they're supposed to start off broke and small but. i dont wanna do that lmfao sorry

[oaksapling]

🌿— basov legacy, generation one: daisy.

starting a little legacy to get to know the game better. i've never actually played before so i really want to try and have fun w/ actual gameplay and not just cas. i'm doing the 'sims in bloom' legacy challenge but making changes as i feel like it. i don't really want to be to strict with anything. like, i'm taking the vet clinic thing from gen. two and adding it to this gen. because i already had ideas for a clinic with one of my founders. idk if i'll do any serious story telling and i'm not gonna rush generations either so this may go on forever

[lovebugmusings]

I DO I WANNA READ THST

I'm writing this under the assumption that folks have a basic understanding of order 66 but if not... I'll happily ramble!

anyway. pilot!johnny x jedi!reader (also I started this fully with the intention of writing smut but... didn't happen whoops)

~✧

it's a deal made in the heat of the moment. one minute you're tracking a potential separatist leader, the next you are running as hard and fast as you can. whirling your lightsaber as your men, your friends, shoot at you. calling you a traitor, your commander - a man you had shared a drink with not a week prior - shouting orders to shoot to kill.

you blinked hard, clearing the misting in your eyes so you could get as far away as possible.

"Oi, lass!" an accented voice called from your left, through the brush, but you couldn't stop.

"If it's important, run and talk!!" you yelled back, deflecting a shot going in the direction of the voice. you heard a yelp, before much closer footsteps matched your frantic pace.

"So why're they shootin' at ye? Look like a jedi with the lightsaber and all but... they're clones, they shouldnae be shooting at you." the stranger turned and shot over his shoulder, and you tried not to wince as the sound of a body hitting the ground reached you. they were your men, good soldiers and good men.

"I dont... I don't know. my commander he, he got a transmission and suddenly they were trying to kill me!" another shot deflected, another body. "I have no idea what's happening."

out the corner of you eye you saw him nod before he grabbed your hand and tugged.

"this way!" you pulled back, but he didn't let go of your hand. "hen, if ye have more men on yer ship, what makes ye ken they will nae try kill you too? just come with me, I have a ship." you weighed the options. a stranger who is offering you a ship, shooting at your soldiers, former battalion. or the clones you once called friends who were trying to kill you.

"fine." you let him guide you, further into the woodland where the brush grew thicker. he seemed to know where to step, what turns to take, and the sounds of heavy footsteps making chase and blaster fire grew quieter. not enough to stop running - force knew that you couldn't stop until you were at least off this planet, and even then... - but enough that you could lower your lit saber and follow the man who had yet to let go of your hand.

to call what you broke through into a clearing would be an insult to clearings; it looked like this pilot had lowered his ship onto what he perceived to be the weakest trees. and maybe he was right, considering how they had bent and snapped under the small ship.

you didn't stop running until you collapsed onto the deck of the ship, bay door sealing shut behind you.

the hull of the ship was small, a small sunken area you could vault out of and take two paces into the cockpit. the area you could see was mostly clean, but it was clear he occupied this ship alone.

"where to, jedi?" the stranger was not looking at you as he began to take off, the hiss of air as the landing gear retracted and the engines kicked on.

"I-" you cut yourself off as the small ship flew over the landing craft you had been in just that morning. a quiet beeping sound caught your attention and you shuffled around in your pockets and pulled out a secured comlink. a recording of General Kenobi appeared, warning all jedi to stay away from Coruscant.

"I have nowhere to go. if I can't go back to Coruscant, I... that's the only home I've known for a very long time." you dropped into the copilot seat as you realised that the life you had before was simply, gone.

you flinched as a warm, gloved hand lightly touched your arm.

"well first things first, let's get you some clothes. yer whole outfit screams 'jedi' and we cannae have that, can we?"

"no. I suppose not." the ship jolted as it took off into hyperspace, a destination clearly in mind for this stranger. "thank you, by the way. I would be dead without you..." you trailed off, both realising you don't know his name, and because the weight of everything had you defeated.

"Johnny. name's johnny." you reply with your own name and shake his outstretched hand before turning to look back at the racing blue outside. "dinnae worry, hen. things will get better."

~✧

hahahahshaha apparently this ended up being a rough draft for the first chapter for a star wars au whoops!!

[6eetle]

Quickie thing i'm gonna blog about today teehee

it gets a little personal so if you dont wanna see allat i'll just put it under the cut

So like, this has been something that's been on my mind the past few weeks just as a floating concept in my mind. But today, my mom was looking at me try on a new coat. She asked me to come closer so she could examine it better so yk, i did, but then her attention drew to my face. She placed her hand on my cheek and when i looked at her she had a look of like?? absolute concern? Bewilderment, even! Why? Facial hair. Not enough to be considered a beard or anything but enough to be noticeable. She was all like "is that your hair?" (as in my actual head hair) and i was like..no? its like she didnt wanna believe it. No way! your DAUGHTER whos a GIRL has MAN hormones running through HER body! SHE isn't supposed to have FACIAL HAIR!

And I mean, technically I shouldn't have facial hair. I only have it because of PCOS. But then I think back to everything and the several cycles of denial, self-consciousness, confusion, and all the negative things I've thought about regarding the way that I am. The way my body works. And at some point I sorta just. Broke that cycle? I mean, it's still insanely difficult to accept sometimes when you pass as a woman to everyone on the outside but the INSTANT they see little ol me with some thick sideburns they get a worrisome look. Almost like they pity me! I've been told so many goddamn times as of recent years.. "Ness, you don't look like a woman! :(" "Ness! Here's some tips on how to shave!" My whole family looks at me like it's some horrible disease and that I just live in total absolute misery with a little extra hair lmao. I've even had a little kid come up to me and ask "do you have a beard?" and then it just felt like the whole room had eyes on me. But one thing I've noticed about it all is that I don't really care..? Heck, I even like it a little! But because of my own family always giving me weird looks for embracing something that's a normal bodily function by nature I feel insecure about it anyway. Not for myself, but for others. Because fuck dude!! maybe they're right! I don't pass as a woman! I mean I'm not a woman to myself, I identify as nonbinary with maybe a little bit of femininity in the mix, but that doesn't matter because they don't like it. because they think it's unnatural and is a problem that has to be treated.

And it's like. Idk man i'm so sick of being pitied and treated like some poor soul who doesn't know how to take care of themself. What I do with my body is my business. Why does it concern you??? Why do people always look at me and are so fucking put off by that small little feature about me? Always cherry-picking what should and shouldn't happen with my development. I didn't choose to grow the hair, I chose to keep it. And I'm going to continue to keep it because at the end of the day I've accepted it's a part of me. And it's super fucked that they only see me as some anomaly rather than a being who can, like everyone else, develop parts of them that are natural in a biological sense, but not natural to gender roles, beauty standards or whatever. Traits that are "ugly". It's super disappointing. Like yeah I'm beautiful until I start growing a beard or something i guess

This isn't necessarily a vent post I would say. In fact, I want to be positive about it! Because I really wanna emphasize the idea that no one should be in charge of the way you look, or the way you decide to love your body. Despite what's "wrong" with me, I'm totally fine, because i allow myself to be. Life is so much more peaceful when you don't got a bitch in your ear telling you things you already know!!!! Telling you to shave and look more lady-like!!! I think I'm winning tbh :3 Oh I don't look like a perfect soft-to-the-touch skin "not a hair in sight" girl? Sexcellent.

[bowl-of-shortness]

*Sending this anonymously since I'm not out* (please don't try to out me, I will cry. If you think you might know who I am, pls don't ask if you're right. I have anxiety and I'm scared to share this as is)

So what you said about being asexual and demiromantic and not feeling like you can contribute to conversations, I FELT that.

I feel like the only way to join conversations about attractive people is by lying. I feel so guilty because I have never figured out what else to do. They all just look like people?

I've literally created a checklist in my head of society's standards because I have no idea what else to judge on. Calling everyone beautiful feels so fake but to me they just... are. People are only "ugly" to me when they're mean. Like to me, beauty is based on personality and I dont understand how other people do it. How can you rate a face without a story? (Like I can only do that when I assume things about people's lives based on their looks??? And it's normally wrong assumptions because "don't judge people based off looks alone" is correct??? Yet people just... do this? Like "they're hot" but isn't that what you're not supposed to do, like???)

I recently came out to my best friends as ace, and even then, they still bring it up every time they're rating people or talking attractive characters, as in the "we know you have no opinion or whatever" and I hate it. Like now that they know I'm ace, it feels like they're actively pushing me out of conversations or want to see what an ace rates them as. (They wouldn't if I asked, but it's kinda fun to participate, I feel more normal. Even if I am just lying) I feel a bit uncomfortable rating people because they think it's based of asthetics but to me I'm just making up numbers. (Its less lying now that they know I'm not sexually attracted to people, but it still hurts. It's nice that they recognize I don't relate and I'm not banning a conversation topic, it just hurts and I'll just take it silently instead of making a fuss. I guess this is just what I was just born to endure, huh.)

Literally, people used to ask me if my ex (SO at the time) was cute or whatever and I always said yes. I was making it up because ya know, I didn't feel that way. I had NO sexual attraction to them but I sold that lie to be normal. I finally came to terms with the fact that I am asexual recently, almost a year to the date I broke up with the only SO I ever forced myself to have. (That tale is a tragedy and I have massive amounts of guilt for the lies I told them to sell that I was a normal hetero cis person. I did so much wrong by them and I hope someday I can forgive myself for it.)

I thought I was bi when I first let myself belive I'm not a normal straight because I felt the same level of attraction across the gender spectrum. (I accepted how I felt about the person of the opposite gender was a crush and then realized I felt the same way about someone of the same gender. That was a crisis) Zero equals zero, wasn't really lying.

Anyway, all that to say that:

You are valid and realateable AF. Conversations about attraction is so uncomfortable and isolating and I'm so thankful you're brave enough to bring it up

I'm also really trying to figure out if I'm panromantic, or demiromantic, or whatever and I'm unsure what to do. Why can't there just be an accurate uquiz.... :(

Like, I think I may be demi something because I have literally only ever had "crushes" on my best friends. I'm not 100% sure what a crush is, but I'm assuming that when I tell myself "don't think of your friends like that, that's wierd" that I'm just mad at myself for acquiring a crush on my bestie.

I have no one to talk to about this because they are firm believers in not dating friends (both have been burned) and I am terrified they'll find out that I can't imagine a relationship with anyone other than a best friend. Like what do I do? I'm so tired fam. I don't think they will be mad if I tell them I'm demi romantic (I'm currently going with panromantic since that just seems easier) and I'm scared they'll find out I realized my sexuality through crushed I had on them, since they're opposite genders and I've had the same "crush" on both of them.

Only wanting romance with friends is so hard because to most people, friends aren't for dating but for talking about potential dates and I hate it.

It's nice to know that I'm following a fellow ace person who gets the romantic struggle. I think you're an icon, and I'm glad that you're in a place where you can be out.

I know we're not close or anything, but I'm really happy to know that there's someone else out there who I can relate to when I can't say a word anywhere else. I hate keeping up the charade, but I'm not in the kind of place where I can drop it. If you're interested in my situation and why I'm forever closeted, I've got quite the tale. but I've ranted enough here. (I won't force my life story on you, I know you want a positive blog and this ramble isn't very positive. I can shut up and vanish if you never want to hear from me again)

Thanks for having your anons on <3

I wish I could dm you and just chat (if you were even interested) but I can't (IRL people know my Tumblr and I dont want to make a new one unless it's necessary.) If there's anything you wanna chat about, I hope I stumble across it on my dash. I hope its okay if I hide behind anon asks.

Thanks for representing people like me. Sorry for the ramble, I guess I needed to get more off my mind than I realized. Thanks for being a safe space to vibe for a while. It's nice to be around other, perfectly valid people like me. I look up to you in a sense ♡

(But seriously, if this is too much drama and you don't want me to do this again, you don't even need to post this I won't bother you again without your consent)

I- wow.

That’s really all I can say.

I’m very glad that you feel just as recognized here as an asexual as you should be. And I know what every single one of these struggles is like. Personally, I never Liked to force things onto myself which has been Both a blessing and a curse.

It’s great because I don’t have to deal with a relationship but over time people stop wanting to be around you for it. But eventually, I found a friend group who respected what I did and didn’t want to talk about. And unfortunately even though some people may be nice and friendly to you, that doesn’t mean that you and that person are going to click.

I think you might want to start being more open about not wanting to talk about these things when you’re around them, and if that’s scary and difficult, start small. I get it. But the more you stay quiet and the more morning is going to change.

So yea, I don’t mind the ask! I guess I didn’t even realize that me just openly existing as Aspec was a huge thing to a lot of people, so I’m glad I could help, I hope everything gets better for you anon. Have a lovely day/afternoon/evening 💖💖💖