#i know they were ~Tom n Jerry in these days but for the sake of EASE we're going with the Classic Name loool

[heartsandbones]

its finally time for my MTV lecture, and u know i'm putting these hoodlums on my "music on TV before the 1980s" slide looool

[qqtxt]

[🐯] slam dunk, lover boy

✿ pairing: college!beomgyu x you / comfort fluff / enemies-to-not-so-enemies / 1,538 words / non.idol!au / a storm of cursing lol ✿ in which you and beomgyu are playful frenemies who can’t stop bickering, until the day beomgyu finds you crying by one of the staircase. ✿ a/n: lmao i have no idea where this plot came from but it is what it is. :”) [masterlist 🌸]

choi beomgyu. the epitome of a piece of shit that’s not too shitty that you can at least appreciate his sense of humour. he was like the tom to your jerry. the spongebob to your squidward. no one quite understood why the tension seems to be the way it is between the two of you but it is what it is.

usually, when you two pass each other, it’s a hit or miss between a compliment or an insult. people were confused if you two hated each other naturally or found it amusing to hate each other. oftentimes, they were left hanging when beomgyu compliments you with hey gorgeous in a sarcastic tone, to which you reply with hey handsome. 

indeed, things were messy. but sometimes messy is good.

speaking of messy, beomgyu takes a stroll around the campus on a quiet day where there’s not many classes being held, only to spot a familiar looking person crying on the staircase.

he notices the back of that head anywhere considering he’s tossing paper notes at it all the time.

you hadn’t realised you had company until the steps get louder and all you want to do is bury your head between your knees until you disappear. it seems like it’s... wait, is it actually working–”well what do you know, guess you actually can cry.”

for fuck’s sake. out of the possible thousands of people it could’ve been.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about. piss off.” your voice is softer than usual, the small crack is what gets beomgyu to... lay off, a little.

he clears his throat and takes a seat next to you on one of the steps. he notices you shifting away when you feel his presence, but it’s not until he taps your knee to hold out a... packet of tissue.

you lift your head a bit higher and unfold your arms to retrieve it. as you hold the packet in your hands, beomgyu shoves his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and watches as you fiddle with the packaging.

“did you spit on it?”

he scoffs a laugh and kicks your ankle lightly.

“sorry,” you sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand before taking out a piece to wipe your face. beomgyu tries to look away, but he ends up glancing at you and noticing just how red your eyes are. he doesn’t know what he should do, actually. hell, he doesn’t even know why he’s here but... he couldn’t seem to walk away.

“thanks,” you manage softly, returning the packet to him but he shrugs it off, “you keep it. you look like you need it more than me.”

“fair enough.”

silence soon falls between the pair of you once more. this would be the first time the two of you aren’t at each other’s throats or using the cringiest comments to make the other sick to their guts. it... felt weird. different, but weird. there are low murmurs around the two of you, seated in the middle of the college campus but still fairly quiet. so beomgyu takes the first step to: “so is this the part i ask what’s wrong and give you a kiss to make it all better?”

you threaten to swing at him and he flinches away from you, which makes you chuckle. he laughs when you lower your elbow from his face and resort to playing with the packet of tissue in your hands. as you heave a sigh, beomgyu decides to keep quiet. whether you decide to talk or not, it just seems like you needed someone by your side.

coincidentally, it was him.

“college system’s fucked up.” is the first thing you say.

that gets beomgyu to look at you with raised brows, but he’s still silent as he patiently listens.

“i guess when you try to help a friend make a report, if it’s against someone who has money, you can get expelled.”

beomgyu’s brows furrow at your words. he instinctively shifts closer and nudges you by the shoulder, “what? you’re getting expelled?”

you don’t look at him and instead stare ahead at the view ahead of you past the ledge of the staircase. it’s the football field where there’s a couple of people training and at this point, you could barely care less with who or what you were talking about. a part of you almost forget that you’re talking to someone you bicker with every day like cats and dogs.

“dunno, verdict’s not out yet.” you heave a deep sigh, and beomgyu swallows thickly. it... hits him that he hasn’t ever imagined what his college life was like without you. call it cheesy, call it stupid, but it’s true. regardless whether you two were best friends who didn’t notice it or sworn enemies who pretended to be nice, beomgyu has always associated his college life day in and day out with you in it.

in one way or another... he doesn’t know how to feel not having you in it–especially for something that’s straight up unfair.

beomgyu doesn’t know what to say, so he keeps quiet. he bites the inside of his cheek and his head follows your movement when you stand up, putting your hands in your pocket along with his packet of tissue.

“i barely have shit to hold on to and now this fuckery...”

he gapes at you when you start to walk down the stairs, but it’s not until you stop just as you’re almost out of sight to peep up to him past the railings.

“thanks, choi. you’re not half bad. cocky dickwad but... you’re not all shit.”

beomgyu scoffs as he sits up higher, getting a good look at you better.

“i’m just being nice to you because you were being a cry baby earlier.”

it was your turn to scoff a laugh, but with the way you smile at him, it’s like you acknowledge it too. you pull out one of your hands to slip it past the railing, offering him a fist bump. he returns it with a soft bump and somehow feels a pang to his heart thinking this could be the last time he’ll see you. or the limited number of times he would see you.

“see you around, choi.”

when you pull your hand back and slip it back to your pocket, beomgyu watches as you descend down the stairs and soon you’re gone. he doesn’t know what’s going on, but all he knows is the mere thought of not being able to see you anymore makes him feel... things. things he didn’t think he’d feel but... things.

((”dude, what the actual fuck are we doing here?!” yeonjun half-whispers, half-shouts at beomgyu who dragged yeonjun to the staff room.

“i told you, y/n might get expelled, and i want to know why.”

“why the hell do you wanna know why, anyway?!”

“i didn’t bring you here to ask questions, i brought you here to help. because you owe me one. now shut up and help me find y/n’s student file!”

“i can’t believe i gave up two hours of free gaming at the computer cafe for this.”

“and i’m going to kick your ass for two hours if you don’t keep up.”

“okay, okay! jeez...”

//

(((”uh... what the hell are you two doing?”

that’s it, yeonjun thinks, this is how i get expelled. over a friend who’s too dumb to notice he may or may not like someone and is going down without even managing to defend their honour.

beomgyu has the courage to look up and gapes when it’s–”y/n...”

“oh thank fuck.” yeonjun sighs, falling back to the ground with his back against the cabinet.

“what are you doing here?” beomgyu asks, even though he completely ignored your question.

“i’m here to snoop around to see what’s on the other students files. you?”

“we’re here to look for–”yeonjun’s words gets stuck in his chest when beomgyu slams his chest, hard.

yeonjun recuperates with a couple of coughs, and beomgyu tries to find for an excuse, “we were, uh... looking for some cheat sheets for the upcoming midterms.”

“huh, okay. well... listen, i’m on a time crunch here. i’ll help you guys if you help me.”

“why the hell would we–”yeonjun gets another smack to the chest and finds that he might as well shut up or he’s going to lose his lungs. as he tries to breathe properly, beomgyu is quick to agree. “deal.”

“ya’ll stay there, i’ll check over here.” yeonjun weakly crawls over to the other cabinet, leaving you and beomgyu alone so he can avoid any hits to his chest.

as you two start rummaging the cabinets, beomgyu feels his hands brushing against yours and he coughs a couple of times to brush it off. you raise a brow at him and point with your head to the other side, “you check here then, i’ll check there.”

beomgyu gives you a nod and watches as you walk over to the other side of the room and start searching for the file they were looking for... while yeonjun has an inkling beomgyu might have an answer to his feelings.

“slam–fucking–dunk, lover boy.”)))

[stray-kids-react]

Their friends don't like you

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° Would want to keep his relationships and friendships separate for this reason alone, he knew you and Bam Bam wouldn't see eye to eye and didn't want to choose either of you over the other.

° You kept your mouth shut about your dislike for Chan's friend for his own sake. You didn't want to ruin a close friendship he had, but Bam Bam on the other hand would constantly ask why Chan likes you.

° Chan got a bit annoyed with his friend due to how petty it was coming off after a while. You could say hi to him and Bam Bam would find something off about it, which made Chan more and more frustrated.

° You didn't say anything bad about Bam Bam, and Chan saw how much of the bigger person you were being. He didn't want to see you being picked on constantly, even if it was by his close friend.

° The last straw was when Bam Bam tried to hook him up with someone else behind your back, all of his frustrations built up inside him and his temper went through the roof. He officially had enough.

"Chan I want you to meet-"

"Stop! I'm sorry to whoever you are you seem very nice. But I'm in love with Y/n and they never say a bad thing about you, yet you hate on them constantly. If you don't apologize for everything, we're done."

Lee Know

° In all honesty, it took a while for you and Minho to like each other. You had a Tom and Jerry relationship for years, until you finally let him see past the wall you always build up. He's the only one who ever saw the true you.

° This is why the members didn't get what Minho saw in you, and everytime he said 'you don't see who they truly are.' they thought it was just an excuse to make you seem more likeable.

° Most of the members gave you a chance, but one was very hesitant to. Jisung didn't trust you, and did not want to see Minho get hurt at all. This is why he refused to give you one more chance after an incident.

° You opened up to the other members, apologizing for your behavior. You explained you had a terrible day that day and became very crusty, they accepted it and welcomed you with open arms. Except for Jisung.

° This awkward relationship with Jisung went on for months, even when you tried to reach out to him. Other members would even comment on how nice you truly were, but he just couldn't trust you.

"Maybe I should try talking to Jisung once more."

"No it's useless, he apparently just doesn't want me to be happy."

Changbin

° Thought your double date with Wooyoung and r/n went great, that is until Wooyoung texted him at midnight telling him how much of a let down you were. Even if it was in a joking manner, it genuinely hurt.

° He saw how happy you were to make a new 'friend', and couldn't dissolve that beautiful smile just because the reality of it was false. Wooyoung thought you were a bore, while you thought he was amazing.

° Changbin would distance himself slowly from Wooyoung, not appreciating the way he describes you. He didn't want him to come over and say those terrible words in your presence, it would break your heart.

° But Wooyoung noticed his friends absence, and decided to head over to your shared apartment where you two were cuddling while watching spirited away. Changbin's heart immediately sank.

° Wooyoung took Changbin aside to talk, and you could hear every words thanks to thin walls and their loud voices. You truly saw Wooyoung as a friend, and it hurt to hear how he felt about you.

"How can you date someone who is so boring, you can do so much better."

"I'm starting to think I could get some much better friends instead."

Hyunjin

° His best friend has a humongous crush on him for years, and thought she could finally get him. Until you came along and stole his heart, this caused fury to infect her bloodstream and needs of destroying you.

° Hyunjin was friends with her, but never saw her as a best friend and had much closer friendships. All of the closer friends adored you, you even became best friends with Seungmin after one hang out.

° This is why it came off much more suspicious to Hyunjin when she all of a sudden accused you of beating her up the day prior. Hyunjin knew you wouldn't hurt a fly, so why was she lying to him?

° He was about to ask why, when you opened the door to the Stray Kids dorms. She noticed your entrance and launched herself onto Hyunjin. He pushed her off and wiped his lips profusely.

° Now knowing the reason behind her lies, he demanded her to leave. Not giving a single care about their now ruined friendship. His tone was harsh and furious, clearly unimpressed with her actions.

"But Jinnie, you know you love me more. Y/n doesn't deserve you."

"I never liked you like that, now leave before I make you."

Han

° You didn't know how loyal Jisung was to his friends until you hung around them, he'd sometimes completely ditch you just to hang out with them. This made you feel irritated naturally.

° When you snapped at Felix, all of them looked at you with an unimpressed face. Your own boyfriend clueless as to why you snapped at his friend who kept stealing him from you.

° The drive home with Jisung was silent, tension filling the empty car. You had a suspicion that your relationship was on its last string and you just ran at it with scissors, this terrified you.

° Once you walked into your apartment and sat on the couch, you braced yourself for the words that were about to leave Jisung's lips. Knowing they were going to be the last ones from his that you'll ever hear.

° He stood at the door way with a sad look in his eyes, explaining to you that it isn't your fault it is his. Before expressing many apologies, just to end with 'we're over'. Just like that, he gave up on your relationship.

"Just say it Jisung, just get it over with."

"I'm sorry y/n, but I'm breaking up with you."

Felix

° You were visiting Felix's family for the holidays, getting to know his friends and family. One of his childhood friends gave you bad vibes, constantly catching his eyes on you even though you were Felix's.

° You tried to ignore his antics for a couple days, but then he tried to get physical. He pinched your hum while waiting in line. Causing you to yelp and jump away from the creepy man claiming to be Felix's friend.

° The same night you asked Felix about the man, finding out Felix didn't even consider him a friend. Only ever sharing a couple of classes with him, he soon followed up with the question you dreaded "why?".

° The moment you explained the events, you were embraced into your boyfriend's safe arms. Sighing in discomfort as he scowled at nothing, wishing that nothing was the man who made you uncomfortable.

° the next day the man tried to visit you at your hotel room, only to be answered by Felix who immediately turned sour the moment he saw him. Before the man could speak, Felix flipped him off and shut the door.

"Babe who was it?"

"No one important, just some weirdo."

Seungmin

° You shared the same classes with Jeongin all throughout your school years. And both of you despised each other, a competition always brewing between the two of you no matter the subject.

° You hoped to never see his face again after you graduated, but your hopes were crushed when your boyfriend Seungmin introduced you to his best friend... Yang Jeongin. Both of you just stood there in complete shock.

° Seungmin thought their was a history with you two, assuming it was romantically since neither of you ever mentioned each other to him. You could cut the tension with a butter knife, which made Seungmin feel hurt.

° He pulled you aside and asked you if you and Jeongin dated in the past, making you silently gag in your mouth at the thought. Sure you had a crush on him in middle school, but it ended quickly after.

° Jeongin overheard the conversation, jumping out from the corner with a very disgusted face. Letting out small ew noises at the thought of you two dating. Seungmin was half ways relieved at the truth.

"Ew Ew Ew, why would you think that? *shivers*."

"I thought the tension was romantically not from high school feuding."

Jeongin

° Your ex Hyunjin was Jeongin's best friend, which made for a very awkward meeting when Jeongin had no clue about your dating history. Both you and Hyunjin cheated on each other, and never really buried the hatchet.

° Both you and Hyunjin tired to stay calm and act normal for Jeongin's sake. But it was clear just how awkward and uncomfortable the two of you seemed to be, especially since neither of you talked to each other.

° Hyunjin was worried you'd break his friend's heart while you were worried Hyunjin would just drag Jeongin into trouble and cause some serious trust issues. Neither of you trusting each other one bit.

° Jeongin say both of you down after an hour of awkward silence, demanding one of you to tell the truth on why you are acting so odd around one another. Slightly concerned for the possibility of a blossoming crush.

° both you and Hyunjin revealed your sides of the story to Jeongin, your heart cracking slightly at the hurt look in his eyes. He wasn't going to leave either of you, but it did hurt knowing you both hid this from him.

[sweetsbfreex]

love me for me, it’s all i ask

Summary: Bucky meets your family, but your nerves clouds you judgment

Warnings: angst!!! 

Pairing: Bf!Bucky x reader

-

Dating your Bucky is filled with a mix of gentle touches, insecurities and reassurances, long yearning stares, love running so deep he had Tony install some kind of metal warmers–– so you wouldn’t shiver every time you cuddled into his arm or he decided to wrap it around your waist while you slept. It was heaven, but of course there were bumps in the road.  

Dating the Bucky Barnes or what most people saw as the “Winter Soldier'' was filled with: anxious walks down the street with his hand holding your waist tightly, his natural habit of looking over his shoulder, and his need to wear a pair of black,leather gloves no matter where you went. It wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle, you loved him too much for it.

-

“Buck, calm down, it’ll be fine.” You chuckle, keeping your eyes on the road, yet lifting one hand off the wheel to briefly squeeze his anxious leg. 

His leg stops shaking and he only nods his head, but when he realizes you can’t see he chokes out a sorry. Instead, he begins to twiddle his gloved thumbs and turns his head to look out the window. He watched the shops and trees pass by in a flur, there wasn’t much on his mind other than what he would say when he got there. 

You slow the car at a red light and turn to see him in the same state. "It's okay if you want us to go back to your place, I can take a u-turn right here, and we can meet them another time." you tell him, extending your fingers to tangle with the ends of his hair. 

“I’m fine doll really...just excited,” He semi-lied through his perfect teeth adding a small smile. 

You were both on your way to your parents house, only ten minutes away now. Bucky coming along wasn’t anything planned. 

Your mom had called two nights ago, at the same time you and Bucky snuggled in bed watching his latest fix on Hulu. Streaming platforms are something he enjoyed about the modern world. He liked that he could have things like Shirley Temple in a pinch, anytime and anywhere he wanted.  

Anyway, Your mom had called, interrupting the trance Tom and Jerry had on the both of you at the moment. 

“One second” you tell him, unraveling from his hold before getting hold of your phone. Bucky makes a move for the remote, but you assure him that it’s fine so he goes back to watching the cartoon. 

And you answer, “Hey mom.” When Bucky heard who it was calling, he side-eyes you for a few seconds, curious.

“Hey! y/n/n, you haven’t called in awhile are you okay? Me and Snicks miss you” The call of his name causes you to hear a bark in the background.

“I’m fine, it’s literally been a day. Are you okay?” It’s not weird for her to call during this time, but nonetheless you know she has something she needs to say.

“‘Perfectly fine honey. I was calling because Daisy is coming down the day after and we’d thought it would be nice for the three of us and aunt to come down too. You’re not busy are you? Maybe you could take a quick detour and visit?” She lived alone in your childhood home, refusing to let all the memories die in the cherished home.  Going as far as making you and your sister promise one of you would possess the house when she passed on. 

At the mention of a little reunion, you decided it would be best to take this somewhere with more privacy. You couldn’t explain, but you thought it would be better for Buck not to hear it. He hasn’t met your family and you don’t want to pressure him into meeting them if he isn’t ready or uncomfortable. You also didn’t want to ask him...in case he wasn’t ready or comfortable.

“Uhh one second” you mute your phone, telling Bucky you’ll be in the hallway prior to giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Mom?”

“I’m here!”

“Yeah I can make it, shouldn’t be busy, it’ll likely be me though.” You pace the hallway up and down as if it was the only place to walk in the whole house. 

“That’s great, okay, I’m gonna text Shirley to come by earlier so we can make a bit extra of everything”

“Extra? Isn’t it just the four of us?”

“No, honey, you know the kids and your sister said she’s bringing someone. Well I don’t know! You know how these things go”

The call goes on for a minute or more. Your mother tells you whatever information is vile and sends you a goodnight. Which you return.

“Sorry, she wanted to inform me of something” you tell him as you walk through the door. Placing your phone in charge once again and like a kitten nestling yourself into his side once again. 

He lets his metal arm lay over your shoulders and you interlace your hands together. 

Silence passes by and gets broken by Bucky who clears his throat to speak up. “Uhm” he starts his free hand coming up scratching the back of his neck. “Do you want me to act like I didn’t hear the conversation?

You sit up in surprise at his confession. “You heard that?!”

He sends you in an unimpressed look. His finger points to his ear then his hand hovers his body, going up and down wildly. Unimpressed at the way you forget he’s pumped in this super serum, he can’t help how far his hearing is.

“Sorry I just forget you’re not human human”

He takes a beat of silence to himself, “I’m not human human?”

“No! Baby, not like that. You know I mean like I forget that you these special abilities–– other than your arm–– inside that I can’t see...y’know”

“It's fine doll” he pulls you back into his side, “Are you going?”

“Yeah…” 

“Do you need company? If not that’s fine I just wanted to ask––” he goes by the question quickly, scared that he’s made it weird between the two of you. 

“You want to visit my family with me?” you ask astounded.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it?” he reassures you in a haste, a hand going to your bare thigh. 

“Are you comfortable with it?” you ask.

“Baby, I just said––” he laughs in a delicate manner. 

“I know, I know. Sorry. I just didn’t know you would want to, I know how anxious you get with a bunch of people, Which is fine! But I don’t want to nudge you in something like that”

“I think it would be perfect, honestly”

“I’m happy you think so” you smile.

-

Currently the car parks in the driveway of your former home. The leather enveloping Bucky’s hands wring together. You don’t say much, only getting out of the car, jogging to Bucky’s side of the door, until you could open his door. 

You tug him into a gentle hug. Standing between his legs once he’s adjusted himself to take every last of you in. You squeeze him once and smile when you feel the nerves and tension falling from his shoulder.

You okay?" you ask. It may seem like a dumb question at the time, but one thing you've learned about Bucky is. A simple question like that allows a spacious answer, it helps him a little more. 

You don’t pull away but adjust your face to place a kiss to his cheek. 

“Yeah” he breathes out. “...What if they don’t like me, we’ll still be together right?”

That question right there drops a bucketful of guilt over your head, but you know what you’re doing is right. 

You pull away , after a second, letting your hands fall to each side of his neck. 

"Of course Buck with or without approval you're still mine. Doesn't matter anyway, everyone will love you 'cause you're amazing." You smile, your fingers roaming over his very recently shaven under jaw.

“Thanks, doll”

“Nothing to thank me for” you give him one last squeeze, “You ready?” 

“Yeah...I don’t know if I’ve told you, but you look really good today”

You wore nothing but a flowy, yellow, long sleeved surplice front dress and a pair of platform sandals.

“Stop trying to stall time!” You tease. 

“I’m not. Promise I’m not” he throws his hands up in surrender, a bright smile on his face. As quick as he throws them up, they come down around your waist. “Ready when you are” 

Having said that, Casual, black slacks hug his lengthy legs lackdasically. A short sleeve, white polo accentuates his waist, and his hair pulls back into a low bun.

 It's so unbelonging to him. But the night before Bucky's been filling with worry about how he should dress to impress.

While you’re still standing between his bent legs and your fingers settle on his neck. You take one hand to pull the hair tie from his hair. Watching his curtains fall around his face

“Doll?—“

“I know you don’t wanna wear your hair like this, it’s fine. I promise Bucky they’ll love you.” You reassure him this time with a kiss, pulling away to entangle your fingers together. 

When you go to close the door he holds up a finger. You watch him stand there hesitation on his face. Before he decides to shrug off the leather jacket and slip off his gloves.

His bionic arm is perfectly bare for anyone to see and you couldn’t be more proud when he sends a shy smile your way. 

-

So soon, you’re both at the doorstep, hands linked together. You knock on the door. 

“Coming!” The sound of your mom’s voice brings a smile to your face, but only makes Bucky’s nerves sky rocket. 

When you hear the sound of the doorknob rattling, you give in at the last moment releasing the mutual hold of your hands. In nerves you miss the gaze and frown of Bucky–– more like brush off, but you play dumb for the sake of it all.

“Y/N––” your mother starts, voice dying and a gasp let out, looking like a guppy out of water when she sees the man standing beside you. Bucky seems none the wiser. Sure he expected some kind of reaction, not like his whole isn't on blast or anything.  

She composes herself when she glances at you, but you only give her a hard stare. “Hello, I’m Lisa” 

“I’m Bucky...I got these for you, y/n said these were your favorites” he outstretched a bouquet of plumerias.

“Oh...Thank you so much, very thoughtful. Come in” Lisa moves out the way and you let Bucky walk ahead of you. You’re about to cross the doorway when you feel weedy fingers clasp your upper arm. 

“Are you out of your mind!” she whispers in your ear. 

“Can you atleast get to know him first” you tell her, catching yourself up with Bucky.

When you both were walking to the front door. The music, screaming children, so much noise was everywhere. You weren't sure how there wasn't a noise complaint from neighbours.

When you and Bucky enter the backyard to most of your family. It's like the scene from Shrek when the Kingdom meets Shrek and Fiona, as the music and everyone quiets down. You wish were joking. 

It wasn't hard to notice when everyone lit up at the sight of you and then saw the Winter Soldier right next to you. 

Bucky was trying to be patient, he was, but it was tiring getting the same reaction when you introduced him to your family. He could understand the shock of being in the same room as a murderer–– no that isn't him anymore or was never him to begin with. 

“And this is Bucky” every single time, that’s the line you used to introduce him. 

-

Now you both are at a rounded table in the shade. Your sister is next to you and her boyfriend.  Your aunt, her husband, and two of your closest cousins are around the table too. A plate of food in front of both of you, Bucky raves to your mom and aunt about how good the cooking is, warming your heart.

Other than that conversation flows like the sea, in a mismatched pattern. Your main priority being it doesn’t become too bare, but of course it all fails. But Bucky can only think about how the most affectionate one of the two (you) hasn’t tried to hold his hand once. Most likely isn’t appropriate to touch each other in front of her family, is what he comes up with. 

“So Bucky, how are you adjusting?” your sister asks.

Oh god.

“It’s going well, not everyday is easy, but I have help” he responds, smiling down at you. 

“Must be crazy how different times are, huh?” your uncle jumps in. 

“Definitely” he chuckles “All the tech is cool. I will say I thought the prices before were outrageous, but nothing beats now.”

“I’ll say” your uncle agrees. 

You sit back a grin on your face, enjoying the way conversation between everyone and Bucky flows. He was starting to get comfortable and your family was getting over their epiphany. He was making them––especially your uncle–– laugh which was an accomplishment in itself. 

“Did you have a lot of family or siblings growing up, Bucky?” your sister asks. 

You feel like you might lose your calm, why is she acting this way?

“Oh...uh. I think three. I know I had a little sister, Rebecca”

“You think?” the tilt in her voice doesn’t fly by you unnoticed. You flick her shoulder, mouthing a knock it off.

“When you’re under for so long things just start to fade y’know.” He informs her, a breathy laugh follows behind nervously as his leg bobs vigorously. 

She definitely didn’t know. No one around this table could relate. Not something the average person goes through, but Bucky wasn’t thinking too much when he let the last bit out. Everyone could see the result of that with the silence that made its way back. 

“How long have you guys known each other?” your aunt asks. You let out a breath of relief and gratitude.

“We’ve known each other for eight months” you answer.

You wish you could’ve taken Bucky’s words away next, “Dating for five” he publicized proudly. 

You shrink into yourself at the wide eyes and wilting postures of everyone around you. Of course, at that moment your mom your mom walked over. 

“Dating?!” 

“You’re dating each other” 

The shrill sound of their voices causes you to become more antsy. 

At that moment, everything clicks for him as he turns towards you, but you don't look at him. Keeping your vision on the food on your plate. 

“What?...Y/n.” you can hear the uncertainty in his voice when he calls out your name, but you won’t look at him and it’s pissing him off. 

“Y/n. Do they not know we’re together?” he asks and when you finally look at him and see the furrow of his eyebrows and the lines between them. His lips in a thin line and the grip he has on the table, the guilt goes from a bucket of water to a whole tsunami. 

Watching as your eyes wouldn't keep contact with him. Darting from his and to whatever was around him, is enough to answer his question. He stands up, he takes in how everyone gets startled and how your mother takes a step back. 

He scoffs before making his way through the house, out the door, waiting for you outside. 

You ignore the stares, keeping your head down. Rushing after Bucky. You find him standing against your car, arms crossed looking up at the sky. Taking notice of his clenched hands and the clinch of his jaw. 

“Bucky––” you start lightly. 

“I don’t want to talk right now” he swore, eyes staying ahead. 

“Well I think we should...I didn’t tell them because I didn’t want them to judge you before getting to know the actual you?”

“Were you even there?” he questions astonished, his head whipping towards you, at your claim. “That’s bullshit and you know it”

“It’s not! You’re seeing this with tunnel vision! I just wanted them to see you for you first”

“You’re embarrassed by me! You didn’t even tell your ma––god y/n, I feel like a fucking idiot.”

“I’m not embarrassed!” 

“You let go of my hand before we even walked in the house”

“Yeah so they wouldn’t know, so they could get to know you! Why aren’t you understanding?” 

You're getting frustrated and you know your voices are less than quiet. Standing in the middle of the driveway like banshees.

“You know how this shit is for me...What? So if it was Steve or fucking Sam you were bringing you wouldn’t have told your family?”

“That’s different! they’re praised wherever they go, people don’t see my bucky first they see the winter soldier. I’m sorry, but it’s true I was just trying to protect you” 

You try to hold back the tears on your face, your eyes stinging. With the way red rims his eyes, glazed over, and the rough breathing through his nose. You can tell he's trying to do the same. 

“Take me home” he demanded, it was the end for him and he had no reason to keep hearing you spew these excuses. 

“Buck?”

“I’m serious. Take me back to my apartment.” He looks away, the clue that you were going to bring him home were your footsteps distancing. 

You walk back in the house with a huff, making a beeline to the table where your bag and keys were. Thankful that the table was scarce except for your sister who watched you pick your things up, like mad. Her hand comes down on your phone when you go to grab it. 

“What?” you ask. 

“You’re leaving?” she asks.

“Of course, I’m leaving Daisy. He wants to go home, no thanks to you.”

“Me?”

“Yes you, what was up with your awful questions?” you question her.

“Excuse me for being surprised that my little sister brought an assassin to a family reunion. Let alone dating him?” she tells you, standing her ground. 

She's always been protective of you and you can understand that. Shifting the blame towards her won't do any good between you and Bucky anyway. But, you've also had enough and need to find a way to fix things. 

“I’ll call you later, tell mom I said bye” you tell her, taking a brisk glance. 

-

You both sat knee deep in silence. Everytime you tried to take a glance at Bucky he only looked ahead, saying nothing. Hand raising up, time to time, to wipe away a tear or two . When you were at a red light or stop sign , it gave you a chance to turn your head. But, everytime you tried to take a proper look at him he'd look out the window. Leaving you to turn your head back, your grip on the wheel tight.   

The moment you arrive at his complex and put the car in park, he hops out of the car. Never looking back, only grumbling, “Don’t bother calling. We’re done.”

“Bucky!” but the door slams shut and he ignores whatever you have to say. 

He meant that with every being in his heart. Any time you tried to call he let it ring until it came to the point where he blocked your number. You got the hint and hadn’t seen him since.

i’ve been sitting on this for sooo long, ofc my first bucky fic is angst

if you enjoyed this pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it<3

[imaginingsoftly]

Baseball Trivia Pt.4  - Josh Anderson

Type: Y/N insert shorts, strangers to enemies-ish to lovers, series

Requested: No

Warnings: standard swearing

A/N: This is the final part! Thank you all so much for reading along, and I hope you enjoyed! Just a note on something from the beginning of the piece, an SID is a Sports Information Director. It’s what Y/N does, I just hadn’t mentioned the title previously.

It was uncharacteristically hot in Vancouver, and it fit Y/N’s angry mood. The anger from Josh’s accusations still hadn’t worn off, and it wasn’t making her job any easier as she dealt with yet another SID who couldn’t follow directions. University of Alberta’s SID clearly hadn’t read any of her emails, and she knew he’d been screening her calls once she started making them since he couldn’t be bothered to read the emails. She had access to Alberta’s stats, but only through their website, so she didn’t know if they were updated, and he had yet to get her a starting lineup. Apparently she would have to go above his head for that. 

Tom, one of the grounds guys who had been with the university for as long as she’d been alive, waved as she stomped down the stairs of the press box. “Going to teach some people a lesson?” Tom laughed as she threw her hands up in the air in a ‘you guessed it’ gesture, and she smiled slightly as she slipped outside. It was impossible to stay mad when Tom was around. 

Both of the teams were warming up already, though thankfully Alberta’s coach was standing on the sideline and not running the drills from the field. Their SID was nowhere to be seen, and Y/N was beginning to wonder if he even existed. If he wasn’t in the press box with her he should have been on the field with the coaches. She caught a couple of the players ogling her as they completed their drills, and she groaned inwardly. She was wearing khakis and a university polo, for fucks sake! 

The coach looked in her direction when she was about ten feet away, and he headed in her direction. “Coach Anderson! It’s nice to meet you.” Y/N stuck out her hand to shake as she reached him, and he gripped her right hand with a smile. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N, the SID for UBC. I was hoping to get your lineup for today?” Anderson nodded tightly. 

“Yes, of course,” he said briskly, “Jerry didn’t send it to you?” Y/N shook her head, and he pursed his lips. “That’s the third time this season. I apologize, Y/N.” She smiled at the coach and assured him it was no trouble, even though inwardly she was swearing. As long as she had her lineup, she’d get over it. Several members of the team stared at her as she walked away, she could feel it, but a whistle blew and Anderson yelled at them to get back to work. Y/N smiled inwardly. At least one of the men out here wasn’t an ass.

The game went off without a hitch, and media went faster than usual, and Jerry finally appeared when it was time for media. Who the hell knows where he was during the game. It was early in conference play, and UBC was a hell of a lot better than Alberta. There wasn’t much of a story to be written. Tom was still working on the field when she finished writing her overview, riding slowly on a mower through the field. It would be the women’s turn to play tomorrow, and Y/N knew Tom liked the field to be perfect on game days. He looked happy on his mower, his straw hat still sitting on his head from earlier, when it was sunny. These were the moments she lived for, outside of the chaos of game time. The athletics side of campus was so peaceful at night. Y/N smiled over at the baseball field as she slid past, her favorite place to work. She would have to get Sam, the facilities director, to unlock the gate for her tomorrow. It was her favorite place to work outside of the office. 

She finally left campus a little after nine, and debated stopping to get food. On one hand it would be nice to have it ready after she showered, but on the other it wasn’t in her budget for the week. It was a bone-deep exhaustion that had takeout calling her name as she drove through the city, but Y/N convinced herself it wouldn’t take long to make something small when she got home. Maybe oatmeal. The climb up ten floors in the elevator felt like it took longer than usual, and Y/N let herself into her apartment with a groan. This was her sanctuary. All of the wandering eyes and the unnecessary stress of fighting sexism to prove her worth to the department melted away when she got her first glimpse of the city view every night. The apartment sat in the middle of the city, high enough that she had a fantastic view. Outside of the baseball field, this was her favorite place in Vancouver.

Y/N was just about to open up a beer to shower with when a knock sounded at her door. It was late for visitors, even for Thatcher to show up, so she approached the peep-hole cautiously. Josh stood on the other side, food in one hand and coffee in the other. “What the hell,” Y/N whispered to herself. She looked up to the sky, cursing whoever had given him her address, and opened the door. 

He looked scared when she opened it, and she tried not to laugh at the sight, despite also wanting to slam the door in his face. “What.” Josh bit his lip at the harshness of her tone.

“I came to apologize.” Josh lifted his hands to show the food, as if to prove his words. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. It was in anger, but that’s not an excuse. I’d like to talk, at least try to be civil.” Y/N sighed, but she opened the door further. Josh hesitated, but he stepped inside. 

He looked good, and Y/N cursed her body for how it reacted to him. He looked cozy like always, in joggers and a t-shirt, and Y/N had to mentally hold herself back so she didn’t run her fingers through the dark hair falling in his eyes. Josh gestured silently at the coffee table with the food and drinks, and she nodded. They moved together to the living area, and Y/N hesitated slightly when Josh put the stuff on the table and then settled onto the couch. “Will you sit, please?” Josh’s voice was soft, and she sat before thinking about it. “Bo told me your address,” he said with a small smile, “I’m sure you were probably wondering how I knew it.” She was going to kill him. And Holly. Damn meddling assholes. 

“Did they tell you to apologize too?” The words came out sharper than Y/N meant for them too, and she almost felt bad when Josh leaned back slightly. 

“I was already planning on it when they told me to. If it makes you feel any better, Holly slapped me when I told her what I said.” Y/N put a hand over her mouth to hide her smile. Of course she did. “I shouldn’t have acted that way. I was upset, yeah, and probably more than a little jealous, but that’s not an excuse. It wouldn’t have mattered if you did sleep with half the team, I didn’t have any right to call you a puck bunny.” He paused, like he was trying to decide if he should continue.

“Holly also told me a little bit about you, and about your ex. I hate that I talked about you the way that I did, especially since everyone tells me you do so much for the guys. You flinched slightly when I accused you of messing with the team, and I don’t ever want to be the reason you get that look on your face again. If I could take it all back, maybe start over again, I wouldn’t have said any of it.” 

He smiled a little. “Actually, I probably would have mentioned I thought you and Thatcher were dating and that I was jealous, because that part is true. I really like you, Y/N. I’ve been an asshole, and it’s been really easy to ignore it. You’re going to think I’m a total dick when I say this, but you stuck with me after we hooked up. It was hard to believe that you’d left that night, and that you didn’t leave me with anything. No note, no last name, nothing. That’s usually my job.” Y/N broke up Josh’s words as she threw a wadded-up napkin she didn’t realize she was holding at his head. Josh looked at her in shock for a second, and she mouthed a silent ‘sorry’. He began to laugh, and shook his head. “No, I deserved that. It was an asshole thing to say. Anyway, Y/N, I’m really fucking sorry, and I’d like to start over if you’d let me.”

It was hard to stay pissed when he was looking at her with puppy eyes. She was still mad, sure, but damn it he spoke well. And he’d brought food from Luigi’s, her favorite Italian place in the city. Y/N met Josh’s eyes again and made her choice. 

“I don’t want to start over.” Josh deflated a little bit, and she registered a surprising level of disappointment in his eyes. He began to stand, nodding, but Y/N reached out a hand to stop him. “I’m not going to pretend last night didn’t happen, and I sure as hell don’t want to forget our night in Ohio.” Josh looked down, eyes wide, and she smiled slightly. “I like you. A lot. But if you ever talk about me like that again I will make you wish you’d never stepped foot in Vancouver.” She squeezed Josh’s arm slightly to go with her warning, and he nodded. Josh sat down slowly.

Y/N released his arm, only to grip his hand lightly. “You want a beer? I’d offer you wine, since you guys usually drink that stuff during the season, but I hate the shit. I don’t keep any here.” Josh laughed and okay-ed the beer. She stopped to take a deep breath into the open fridge door, letting the cool air wash over her face. It should have felt weird to have Josh in her apartment, just like she knew she should have been more mad than she was, but right now it seemed like up was down and down was up. Nothing made much sense. He sat on her couch, in those damned soft clothes, looking like he was meant to be there. That jolt in her skin when she grabbed his arm was the same jolt she felt in Ohio. There was something there, and she had to explore it. Josh looked back at her, likely wondering why she was just standing in front of the fridge, and she smiled at him. His answering smile took her breath away.

The food was set out across the coffee table when Y/N reached the couch again, and it was her normal order, down to the lack of cheese on the pasta. Josh smiled when Y/N handed him the beer, and she slid past him to sit on the couch in front of the setting he’d made for her. “How did you know what my order is?” Josh’s smile was sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Wait,” she interjected, “let me guess. Bo and Holly.” His answering smile and nod had her shaking her head. They ate silently, though Josh relaxed the longer he sat there without being thrown out. He finally leaned back against the cushions when he finished eating, his beer cradled in his right hand.

“Holly said you don’t hook up very often.” Josh spoke hesitantly, like he was afraid Y/N would change her mind about forgiving him. “Actually, she said never.”

Y/N took her time chewing her spaghetti, organizing her words. “I don’t do emotional detachment very well.” She met Josh’s questioning eyes with a half smile. “I get emotionally attached to people a little too quickly, especially ones I have sex with. I don’t do hookups because hookups lend themselves to emotional detachment and I just end up feeling like shit.” Josh reached over and gripped her thigh lightly, and when he squeezed Y/N was thrown back to Columbus and his hands all over her body. “That’s probably why Holly pushed so hard for you to come over here,” Y/N continued quickly, shaking off the memories. “She knew I was likely already attached to you and not taking the argument well.” 

She leaned back over her spaghetti, fighting the urge to look at Josh. It was pretty weird to admit to being attached to a one-time hookup, she knew that. It didn’t make her any less attached, though. Josh squeezed her thigh again, an attention-getter, and Y/N looked over at him questioningly. His eyes were soft, and an understanding had settled over his face. He was starting to get her, and that made Y/N feel damn good.

“I got pretty attached too.” He was? Josh ran his hand through his hair roughly, and Y/N lamented the loss of the weight on her leg. “I’m not used to being attached to a woman romantically like this, but I just can’t get you out of my head. It was easy for a while, until last night actually, but now that I see you again I need to keep you around.” His hand left Y/N’s thigh, and she lamented the loss momentarily. His hand quickly found a home where her neck met her shoulder, and Y/N stared into Josh’s eyes intently. “I want the whole damn thing with you, Y/N Y/L/N. The awkward dates, the good dates, the family meetings, the sex,” Y/N groaned at the last one, and Josh shot her a smile. “I fucked up royally, but I promise I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.” 

If he didn’t do anything else well, Josh was made for pretty speeches. Y/N found herself nodding quickly before she could change her mind, and Josh perked up. “Yeah?” She nodded again. “Yeah,” she whispered back.

______________________________________________________________

It took almost 2 months before they told the team they were dating. The Horvats suspected, because they were the only ones who knew about the argument, but everyone else just thought Y/N was accepting Josh into the fold much like she had every other member of the team. Y/N smiled to herself from her spot next to Holly, waiting in the hallway after the game. Gunnar was settled into Y/N’s arms, sleeping finally. He’d become colicky, and sometimes Y/N’s arms were the only ones he would relax in. Holly said she was a baby whisperer, but Y/N insisted it was because he could tell she was the cool aunt. 

Josh’s arms came around her from behind, settling on her hips as he rested his head on her shoulder to stare down at Gunnar. “You look good with a baby.” Josh’s words were whispered, but Holly clearly got the gist. She smirked, and raised a hand to high five her husband as he reached their group. 

Bo obliged, though he looked confused by both her enthusiasm and the way Y/N and Josh were standing.“They finally got together!” Bo’s confusion turned to one of mischief, and he turned around to holler at Thatcher. Y/N groaned, because she knew what was coming.

“Yo! Dems!” Thatcher turned away from his spot chatting up Jordie and Jessie to raise an eyebrow at Bo. “You owe me fifty bucks!” He pointed at Y/N and Josh, the latter of which raised a hand to wave at Thatcher. Thatcher’s face split as he barked out a laugh, and the team began to cheer. Bo turned back to the pair with a smile. “We’ve been taking bets on how long it would take for you two to get together. I had bet you already were, but hadn’t told anyone. Guess I was right.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes, though she settled deeper into Josh’s chest. Of course they’d bet on it. Boys would be boys. Thatcher broke free from his conversation to make his way over, stopping in front of them with a glare Y/N could tell wasn’t that serious. “Hurt her, I kill you. I don’t care if you’re my teammate, that’s my family.” Josh nodded seriously, and Y/N rolled her eyes again. Boys. 

She handed Gunnar back to his parents with a smile and a goodbye. Josh gripped her hand as they walked to the parking lot, and Y/N squeezed back gently. “I’m really thankful I broke my no-athlete rule for you.” 

Josh didn’t speak for a minute, though he opened the car door for Y/N and waited as she settled into the seat. He leaned forward and kissed her gently. “I’m really thankful you know so much random sports shit.”

[jksangelic]

↳ rating: M

↳ genre: romance, angst, dry humor, smut, undergroundrapper!yoongi (don’t be fooled, yoongi is a soft lover in this), one-shot (divided for the sake of a functioning mobile tumblr)

↳ pairing: yoongi x reader

↳ parts: 1 | 2 | 3

��� word count: 2.8k

↳ a/n: here’s the first part! second part comes tmro, and third comes the next day, both releasing at 10PM PST! please look forward to them heehehehe. 

this part does not contain smut, only light swearing and maybe some sensual themes? i don’t remember lol. it’s also not very edited hehe i’ll come back to it.

*each squiggly divider represents a flashback, straight divider represents current time*

Yoongi preferred the heat set to exactly eighty degrees Fahrenheit, which was utterly ridiculous. It caused you to toss and turn in a pool of unattractive, and possibly foul-smelling, sweat all throughout the night. Even more so, he trapped you with his own limbs, protecting you like that stupid dog from Tom and Jerry protected that awfully large and awfully raw steak. You’ve fallen in and out of consciousness because of it, surely waking up every thirty minutes while the man slept like a log.

But it was wonderful.

You open your eyes for the umpteenth time, assuring he’s still attached to the hip and planting a kiss on his forehead sleepily. What a dream it would be to stay like this forever, you think, tossing the idea away as quickly as it came. It was punishing as is and you dare not tie the noose around your own neck.

You scan the room, curtains drawn closed and tv silently flicking through commercials, casting a dim width of light onto the bed. It must still be pretty early in the morning, you assume, a bittersweet realization.

Enjoy the moment, you correct yourself, be happy that you were able to have this. So you peer down at him through foggy vision, his eyes closed and mean, twitching a bit enough that you suppose he’s dreaming of something himself. Nudging your face into his hair, which smelled faintly of smoke and peaches, you force yourself back into slumber.

For the first time tonight, you sleep deeply.

Wondering how the hell anyone was permitted admission after the venue breached occupancy threefold, you rub at the aching spot of your ribs that your neighbor unintentionally keeps jabbing. You attempt to peer over the sea of heads anyway, looking for that goddamned girl that dragged you here in the first place. Where was she? Why was she so short? Why did you wear heels to a concert?

Never did you suspect you would be pushed against barricade at 11PM on a Thursday, waiting for an artist you have never heard. The sweat that accumulates, quite frankly, everywhere was probably starting to stain your clothes at this point. The beauty of public outings.

“Y/N! Y/N! Right here!” screams the woman of your nightmares, waving maniacally more towards the middle of the crowd than you but nevertheless farther than you would like to travel in this density. You make your trek, apologizing profusely as full-grown adults glare at you for moving, oh help them all.

“I will have your head for this,” you yell into her ear, gripping the divider to ease the stinging pain stemming from your toes.

“Lighten up, you’re at a concert that you got into for free, for heaven’s sake,” Chungha pouts, bopping her head happily to whatever DJ was opening for her beloved. “I think you’ll like these guys, anyway. Really good rappers, up-and-coming and all that good stuff.”

“Yeah, if they even show up. This poor dude has been playing for over an hour. Do you suppose his fingers hurt from pressing all those buttons?” She rolls her eyes in a way that says, please stop already. You really just want to know.

If this DJ had any influence of what the main act would be, you would rather just leave, plain and simple. This wasn’t really your thing in the first place, Overwatch and Red Dead Redemption (not one, but TWO!) sounding much more appealing than listening to EDM’s Worst Hits. But Chungha was a sweetheart who you’d marry in an instant, and when she asked you to come and claimed she already got you a ticket because she knew you couldn’t possibly say no to her, well, you couldn’t possibly say no to her.

You even dressed up for the occasion, a mix of Instagram baddie and Tumblr aesthetic (a sum of words you’d never like to use again) smooshed into one oddly cute outfit, if you did say so yourself.

It wasn’t worth your time.

But then the music starts changing pace, lights changing colors and dimming and smoke machines going ham and you suppose it’s finally starting. Three men walk out, one with orange hair and a long but pretty nose, heart mouth showcasing the straightest teeth you’ve ever seen on a human being, the second slightly shorter, bleached hair styled messily and the hand holding his mic covered in rings, the final with a smirking dimple, leading them out and hyping up the crowd with a few welcoming words that you don’t quite make out.

“There’s three,” you state dumbly.

“Great job counting! Remind me to give you a cookie later,” Chungha retorts halfheartedly, much more intrigued by seeing these men in person, “The guy in front is RM, he’s their leader. Blonde is Suga. J-Hope is the sexy one—HOSEOK OPPA!” She screams as if she’s been struck with a spatula, eyes wide and focusing.

You like their style, you’ll give them that. RM starts the song strong, lyrics so quick and diction so clear that it sounds as if he’s rapping directly to you. They all bounce around the stage, people at barricade, including your friend, reaching out and bobbing along in synchronization. J-Hope follows suit, stage presence oddly intimidating and seductive concurrently, his body more fluid and powerful than any dancer you’ve seen before. You can see why he would be the ladies’ man, lying to yourself if you said your eyes haven’t focused on his hips more often than not.

And without warning, Suga bursts into his own lines, atmosphere changing almost immediately when he brings the mic to his mouth. It’s hypnotic, his words continuously stringing out without break, without a single beat missed. You watch in fear. As the crowd around you screams and attempts to chime in, Suga steps closer and closer to them, squatting down right in front of where you stand and finishing his part with a deep, breathy note. He sits there as both men and women (and Chunga) paw at him and for the smallest of moments, do you think, his eyes lock on you.

It sets you on fire.

Yoongi always made it a point to study the faces of his fans out of appreciation. It would be foolish to say he’d be able to recognize each and every person he’s ever encountered, but he knows you were one to sketch into the archives of his mind. It doesn’t help that you are the only one, mouth slightly agape and teeth biting the inside of your cheek, completely still and studying. For the first time in a while, he feels intimidated; self-conscious even. More than a listener amongst the energetic mob, you look more like a critic.

It makes him shiver.

I would be his groupie in a heartbeat, you think, no doubt that he too is infamous around women wherever he goes. Whatever the matter, seeing this enigma of a man was worth your whole night’s experience.

I love, I love, I love myself! The audience screams, bass intensifying as the other two reach for water bottles propped on the stage. I love, I love, I love myself!

J-Hope throws in some ad-libs, sipping from his water before chucking the lid entirely, Namjoon putting a hand to his ear to egg everyone on and holding his own water above. You still stand in place, astonished how ethereal someone can look on stage and you instantaneously understand why people barricade. Suga catches you again, still squatted in the same position, possibly too lazy to get a water for himself but lets his brothers do what they must, and grins subtly.

You must look absolutely moronic gaping at this man, tongue-in-cheek impressed and hands barely gripped around the bars while everyone else around strains to be closer to the stars of the night.

I love, I love, I love myself! Y’all player hater, you should love yourself!

And that’s when you get—at least, half of a water bottle’s worth of water thrown at your direction. Right in front of the newfound man of your dreams. Everyone else screams madly, acting like these gods have blessed their parched souls with water after days on end, while you now look a little like a wet dog dressed in a hoochie skirt. You shrug, wiping at whatever was worth attempting to dry and thanking the gods that your makeup wasn’t running.

“Oh my god, your shirt is soaked!” Chungha lately notices, head whipping back and forth from the boys to you, back to the boys just in case she was missing something important.

“I would sell myself for that man,” you deadpan, not even blinking towards her.

“Suga? I bet he would accept if you managed to offer it to him.”

“I would easily give him all of the money in my savings right now.”

“You don’t have a savings. Pay attention.”

So you did.

You relished in every part Suga had, finally gathering up enough brain cells to at least rock with everyone else. Every song was like a lucid dream, the concert high really resonating with you. Either that, or you were literally high off of how much smoke there was. Gotta love rap concerts.

Perhaps it was the luck of the opening song, but Suga didn’t make eye contact with you again, a beaten disappointment gurgling in your stomach. But instead of behaving as a kicked puppy and moping about losing every possible chance that the blonde devil would bring you atop the stage and dedicate his serenade of sorts strictly to your face in front of hundreds of people--well, the chances were nearly zero. We're not all winners.

Suga continues on, trying not to focus on the girl with the sharp eyes that makes him clammy to the point where his throat threatens to constrict on him, which isn't optimal. He finishes song after song with his brothers, taking long enough breaks in between to catch his breath and focus on the bigger picture: that there was an entire crowd to please and not just you. Besides, there would always be a pretty or handsome face no matter where he went, he was Suga, goddammit, he wasn't a high school horndog ready to pounce on every intriguing entity he just casually glanced at. That role was a style more befitting for his brothers.

 Upon your cognizance that this group was downright brilliant, the concert ends much sooner than you would have liked it. And just like that, the three send their love and are ushered behind the stage. It takes a while for the swarm to dissipate, interlacing your fingers with Chungha's to insure you don't lose her again.

 "So, I take it you liked them," she giggles, forehead sheen with sweat because holy shit it's so fucking hot in here.

"They are really... talented. I award proper recognition when it's truly deserved." Tired of waiting, you practically shove your way past the bodies, dragging your poor friend behind you and bee-lining for the entrance.

"Wait! Do you want to get merch?" You twitch your nose, not entirely opposing the idea.

"Are you sure you don't want to just hop in? I'll pay for you!" Chungha cries, halfway into her Uber.

"Sis, I live down the street, I promise I'll be fine. I'll call you when I get home."

"That's so far!"

"I'm walking away now. Go home."

She harrumphs once for effect before waving goodbye, Prius soundlessly whooshing away while your best friend sticks her tongue out at you in the back window. You laugh at her foolishness before spinning on your heel and making your way.

It was just the right amount of chilly, breeze cooling you down a notch. You bet your ass you would remember this night forever, writing a mental note to check out the group on every social platform there was when you got home.

 You skirt down a corner of the building, aiming for the route of your apartment--or, at least, where you think it is? "Sense of direction" surely wasn't the best trait on your resume. Walking down the dim street, you notice a few trickling souls walking in and out of the building, probably help from the venue closing up. It's when you see Suga, attempting to light his cigarette and leaning against a black van that you stop like a deer in headlights.

"Suga!" you point and exclaim like a child.

"... Wanna say that any louder, toots?" He chuckles, though, seemingly pleased rather than offended. He scoffs at his empty lighter, tucking the thing in his pocket and leaving his cigarette unlit on his lips.

"S-Sorry. My bad. Do you, uh, need a light?" you offer apologetically, digging through your purse to grab your lucky lighter, an embarrassing bright pink thing with Betty Boop floating in the middle.

"Thanks," he smiles, grabbing the lighter from your hand and flicking it to life as he takes a drag. "Do you smoke?"

"Not cigarettes. Honestly, I already regret offering that to you. That's a bad habit to kick," you sigh, taking it back when he hands it to you.

"Don't I know it." He glances up at your face when he returns your lighter, showing a regretful smirk but studying your face in the process. Well, hell, if it wasn't for the barricade critic.

"I recognize you," he continues, "you were up front, right?"

"Oh, god, I can't believe you remember that."

His heart skips at the match, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth and pushing himself off the van. "You, uh, looked unimpressed. Got me worried that I lost my game for a bit."

"No! I wasn't unimpressed at all. I'm just a new fan, I guess. My friend brought me. I think I was just in awe, if anything. I even got this hood--"

You quite literally bite your tongue, wishing you could slap your face at the outburst, realization running over you like a train.

"You got what?" he presses, a sly curiousness brimming.

"N-Nothing. You were good. That's all."

"'That's all'? Geez, you're really putting me down over here, toots." He throws the butt and stomps it out, "Those eyes of yours really made me nervous."

Your eyes? How smooth of him. "Oh, I doubt that. You seemed just fine to me."

He hesitates to respond; what exactly are you trying to get at here? Sweet and sour, he supposes. It's interesting to him compared to the countless amount of substance-less gals that suck up to him to simply suck him. New fans certainly were feisty, he supposes.

"Do you live around here?" he asks.

"Are you going to stalk me? Yes."

"Well, if I was, you probably shouldn't have said yes before I answered. But luckily, no." He sticks out his hand, clad with rings of, you're sure of, soaring prices beyond what you can imagine for jewelry, "I'm Min Yoongi. But I guess everyone kinda just calls me Suga now. You can call me Yoongi, if you'd like. Can I ask for your name?"

You take his hand softly, hoping he doesn't notice the way you shrink in it because heavens that near-zero chance of meeting Suga certainly did skyrocket. "It's Y/N."

"Mm, pretty," he comments surely. "Well, Y/N. We're actually going to be here for a while, just finished a few shows here and there and decided to take a break until we can figure out bigger plans," he's talking too much, "Anyway, would you want to hang out sometime?"

You shiver in astonishment, what was happening here? What kind of lucky star flew over your head for this? Your goosebumps had goosebumps.

"That... Yeah, that would be great! Do you... Do you want my number?"

"Would love it," he declares, taking his phone out and setting up your contact without delay.

"Do you do this much? Snag a girl's number after a show?" you joke as you type in your number. Yoongi snorts.

"Girls don't necessarily talk to me in a well-respected manner, let alone offer me a light."

"Well, don't expect that last bit anymore. Smoking really is a pet-peeve of mine," you warn. Who were you to warn him of something you didn't like? Idiot!

"Yes, ma'am. I'll shoot you a text sometime. Was nice meeting you," he says, watching you nod and smile and wave goodbye as you continue on home, Suga's name printed enormously on the back of the new sweatshirt you bought from the merch stand. He bites back a snicker, picking at the hair on his neck before walking back inside.

[petersshirts]

Chasing After You (1) | tom holland

pairing: tom holland x reader

summary: uni doesn’t seem so hard, until your ex-boyfriend shows up right in front of you, turning your life in a whirlwind of emotions

warnings: lots of swearing they are Britains for gods’ sake

words: 1,5 k

A/N: so... here it is, my new series!! it’s still in the making and i don’t know yet how many there will be, but i hope you like it, please let me know what you think!

„I hate this,“ you mumbled and closed the door of your apartment with a loud thud, gaining the attention of your roommate Sky in the kitchen. „Hey boo, you okay?“ You heard your best friend yell and you just sighed, throwing off your shoes and coat to get to her.

„Just been a shitty day.“ Sky pouted and closed the fridge to give you a hug. You pulled her closer, sighing at the contact. It was good to know that you were not alone - that you could manage Uni and everything around it.

It had been only two weeks since you started your first year at Uni in Cambridge, and it had been hard. Sure, you knew that Uni was not easy, but the professors were horrible and mean, causing you a lot of stress. And you were not famous for handling stress very well. Sky pulled back to check if you cried, but you just shook your head, showing her that you were okay. That you would be okay.

„It’s all gonna be fine, Y/N. You’re gonna get used to it. But before that, I’ve been invited to a house party tonight!!“ You rolled your eyes at the excitement of your best friend, knowing how this evening would go. Sure, you loved going out but Sky always drank way too much and you always had to bring her home around 11 pm, crashing all the fun you had.

„I’m only going f you don’t drink five shots in the first two minutes!“ You reminded her and she just giggled. She was so childish but you loved her for it. With her, everything was easy and fun and you were so happy that you had decided to move into an apartment together at the start of the term.

For the next few hours, you ordered pizza and got yourself ready for the party. Sky even managed to put you into one of her dresses - when you stood in front of the mirror you didn’t even recognise yourself. Your friend had curled your hair and put some make-up on your face, turning you from a sleep-deprived student into a night owl. Without her, you would most likely lie in your bed and only come out for food and pee-breaks.

After a bottle of wine, the two of you left your apartment and walked to the address where the house party was at. It was early spring and you cursed yourself for only bringing a light jacket like Sky had told you. You look better with that; well, your whole body was freezing. You finally arrived at the apartment complex a few minutes later and Sky rang the doorbell and you got buzzed in immediately. When you arrived at the apartment on the third floor, there were people everywhere. The music was pounding and you grimaced, knowing that you would get a headache in the morning from the loud beats.

Sky grabbed your hand and pulled you through the masses of people into the kitchen. While she found a bottle of vodka, you searched for two shot glasses. You wouldn’t survive this night without more alcohol in your system. The two of you drank your shots, a disgusted look on your face.

The next two hours were spent with more alcohol and dancing on the small dance floor to the latest charts. It felt good to finally let loose and just dance with your best friend for a while. But after a while, your legs got heavy and you just mumbled a „Be right back,“ and walked to the bathroom to get some time to breathe.

When you closed the bathroom door behind you, you sighed and watched the girl in the mirror. Your makeup was slightly smudged from all the dancing but other than that, you still looked presentable. But on the inside, you were exhausted and just wanted to go home and sleep. The alcohol always made you tired but there was no way that Sky would actually leave with you right now. When it came to going out, you were polar opposites - while she could stay out until 5 in the morning, you were ready to go to bed after a few shots at midnight.

And since you had promised her to stay with her tonight, you sighed and opened the bathroom again, revealing the same scene you had just left. On your way back to the place where you had left Sky, you tried to make her head out in the crowd. But when you saw a familiar blonde quiff only a few meters above you and those blue eyes, you immediately stopped. The guy was gone but you just stood there, trying to find out if your mind was tricking you.

Suddenly, memories came flooding back and you turned around and ran out of the apartment, in desperate need of some fresh air. You made it out to the hall and slid down the wall, trying to catch your breath. You remembered that hair and those blue eyes. When he was near, his friend was never far away. Your breathing was going fast and you hid your face in your hands, all the emotions came flooding back.

„Y/N is that you??“ You looked up to look into those familiar blue eyes that you hadn’t seen for a whole year. You hadn’t seen him in such a long time and even though he wasn’t the one that caused you anxiety, he was too close for your own liking. But he had never done anything wrong to you, it had been his best friend. But with that, you wanted to stay away from these two boys as far as possible.

„Uhm, hi Harrison, long time no see.“ You mumbled out to your old friend, not sure how to talk to him. Harrison walked up to you, a big smile on his lips, completely surprised that you were here. You on the other side wished that you were somewhere else. One year ago, you tried to put your past behind you. It had worked pretty well so far, but seeing Harrison here was not helping. His best mate couldn’t be that far.

„How have you been?? I haven’t seen you since Tom and you…“ When he said those words you jumped up, your mind spinning. You were not ready to talk about your ex-boyfriend, the boy that broke your heart. The only boy that you had ever loved and just left without an explanation. You hated him and you were damned if you would see him again.

„I’m actually here to have fun and not talk about this right now. I’m sorry, I can’t…“ While you were talking, you stumbled back to the open entrance of the apartment to find Sky. You didn’t care anymore what you had promised - all you wanted was to go home, eat Ben & Jerrys and try to forget about this whole experience. But when you bumped into a broad chest and looked up to meet his chocolate brown eyes, everything came crashing down.

All the walls that you had built up over the last year to show everyone that you were completely fine, they faded to nothing when he realised who was standing in front of him. Oh hell no. He was as beautiful as you remembered - he was still athletic but not too much muscle, his unruly brow twitching. But it seemed like his complete attitude had shifted - gone was the sweet guy that you had met at school two and a half years ago and was replaced by some fuckboy you absolutely hated. Your heart wrenched when he stood there because this wasn’t love - no this was hate for what he had done to you.

And that’s why your legs started moving, back into the apartment to find Sky and get the hell out of here. You found her in the living room where she was grinding on a stranger. You pulled her arm to get her attention, tears running down your face. Sky mumbled something when you tried to gain her attention, but when she finally looked into your face to see your desperation, she jumped into gear. Without questioning what was going on, she pulled away from the guy, grabbed your hand and walked outside without looking back.

Luckily, To and Harrison were gone when you stepped out of the apartment, trying to gain your breath. Sky looked back at you to make sure that you were safe to walk home and you just nodded, showing her that you would be fine. Someday.

The two of you walked home in quiet, both of you following your own thoughts. Your brain was running wild, trying to figure out how he was in the same city as you, far from home. Clearly, he was a student here too and there was no way that you wouldn’t see him again. You started crying again, unable to control your emotions. Why was life so unfair? Why couldn’t he just stay out of your life like he had done for the last year??

Uni was tough but Tom fucking Holland just made it just three times worse.

If you would like to be added to the Series Taglist, please let me know!

Permanent Taglist and some mutuals:

@smexylemony // @ive-got-more-wit // @lou-la-lou // @loxbbg // @seanna313 // @underoos-shield // @hollandfieldblurbs // @supernatural-strangerthings-1980 // @ixchel-9275 // @thejourneyneverendsx // @sideeffectsofyou // @teenwolfbitches2 // @mywinterwolf // @alex--awesome--22 // @wronglanemendes // @keithseabrook27 // @tomshufflepuff // @awkwardfangirl2014

@peterpumpkinparker // @underoos-shield // @mr-delmar // @twilightparker // @h-osterfield // @revengingbarnes // @suncityparker // @curlytoms // @holland-peters // @fratboievans // @rainbow-marvel // @spiderrrling // @hufflebucky // @hollandroos // @naturallytom

[deckspair]

May’s Musical Director’s Commentary

Hey guys! I'm May. You might remember me as "the one who did those nifty chatlogs and the roster page" or "the one who did all the music" or "that one mod who never said anything." Los and Mints agreed to let me write up this "director's commentary" on the music I did for DECK. There's no secret lore tidbits in here or anything, but if you liked my music you might find this an interesting glimpse into the process.

A Note On Sampling

Sampling is the practice of using preexisting audio to make new music. When I talk about what I've sampled here, I'm only going to mention particularly interesting cases. Almost all of the music I've done for DECK features audio from Free Wave Samples, so I figure that's not really worth mentioning except here. It's the other stuff that's interesting. EarthBound was an influence on my decision to pull in a bunch of audio from outside sources. I've always admired that game's use of sampling.

The First Chatlog

The chatlogs have consistently been pretty fun to do. I knew from the start that I didn't want to edit this together by hand, so I wrote a Processing sketch to render the video. It's not the most elegant thing in the world, and adding new features is a massive pain, but it's a lot easier than putting these together any other way. All I have to do is swap out the script and background shader and write a new song and I can just let the program churn away rendering a new video. (Of course, fiddling with the shader until it looks presentable takes so long that it kind of eats into the time savings.)

There's not much to say about this one. The typing sounds were graciously provided by Mints. Those with careful ears might notice the instrument playing the chords in other chatlog songs.

The Second Chatlog

One of the only interesting things about this one: the melody is actually a musical cryptogram! What it spells out is an exercise for the reader. ;) The miscellaneous background sounds are all distorted versions of stuff I recorded myself one day when my film teacher let me wander the halls with a microphone. Film school has its perks.

Rio Hachimitsu's BDA

Doing the first body drop music was pretty intimidating. The body discovery music in Danganronpa has a particular instantly recognizable quality to it. If I wanted to go for that style, I'd have to get it down perfectly. (Otherwise I'd come off as a cheap imitation.) So I decided to be original. After school PSAs would be proud.

The melody here is probably pretty familiar to you all by now. Every BDA has used some variation of this melody because I'm a sucker for leitmotif. The melody itself is a slightly modified version of the Dies Irae. (Yes, I know I'm very pretentious, but being pretentious is fun.) This is also the first instance of what I call the "death rattle." I put that strange scraping sound into every BDA and execution for consistency's sake. You can see it as the moment the soul leaves the deceased's body or the moment the onlookers realize somebody's just died... or something. The really fun part is what it is - it's a bell tree! Yknow, those tinkly whimsical things. It's just been reversed and slowed down and drenched in reverb. It's fun how malleable audio is.

Minnie Minami's EXE

This was fun! Despite being a film student for a while, I've never had to write music to sync up with a video before. (I still haven't - I'm pretty sure the video was edited to match up with the music and not vice versa.) The overall tone of this one was pretty obvious. Of course a ringleader's execution would be accompanied by messed up circus music. Anything else just wouldn't be right. There's not really much else to say about it other than that it includes samples from my toy accordion and slide whistle.

Sampled:

An old recording of Auld Lang Syne

Yasu Kozakura's BDA

The body drop's usage of mirrors really hit me in the art gut, so I figured the BDA jingle should have something to do with mirrors. This is why the melody plays forwards and backwards simultaneously, because mirrors. (Some call that kind of thing a "crab canon.")

My incredibly good and quality cat piano is also in here. A stretched out meow recorded from it forms the basis of the background chord.

NANIKO's EXE

For this one, I gave the video editor three different tracks, one for each "segment" of the execution. I did this as a cop-out because I didn't want to have to try to sync my music up with the video - this way, the editor could mash it all together.

The segment with the mirrors was an exercise in what's called "phase music", where two lines drift out of sync with each other, creating different rhythmic textures over the course of the song. (Piano Phase and Clapping Music, both by Steve Reich, are two classic examples of the form.) For some reason, echoey piano lines phasing in and out of sync feel mirror-y to me. They also form a nice musical callback to the BDA.

Sampled:

Me switching frequencies on the radio

Sayuri Nishi's BDA

Shoutout to Free Wave Samples for having a heartbeat sound. I didn't want to try to make that sound myself with drums. 

Kosuke Nakamura's EXE

This execution is significant because it's the first non-video one. Execution art wasn't my department, so I'm not going to speak on how that change affected the artists, but I found it liberating to be able to follow the more general emotional arc of the execution rather than being tethered to the pacing of a video.

When I asked Angela for guidance on where to go musically, we came to the conclusion that the proper genre would be "Tom and Jerry noir." That description alone is why I loved doing music for DECK - where else do you get the opportunity to write something with that as guidance? The most natural interpretation in my view was a song that starts out jazzy and segues into slapstick-esque classical to mirror the transition from the safety of noir to being mauled by a giant robot cat.

Also, the Slack notification sound is in there, since Los suggested a social media notification sound in the background somewhere. (Slack's basically social media for tech dorks, right?)

Sampled:

Slack

Tom and Jerry

The Missing BDAs

Unfortunately, I got preoccupied and neglected to do BDA music for the deaths in Chapter 4. Generally, there's not many interesting things to say about stuff that doesn't exist. The plan was to sample Pomp and Circumstance for Law N... but I didn't. Sorry, Froggy. I didn't have any other plans for this one.

Ukiyo-Maemi's EXE

This one relies so much on sampling it almost makes me feel bad. I got so much mileage out of the clanging percussion and the spooky background sounds that it's basically cheating. 

Sampled:

My lovely girlfriend 💕

OFF

Akira Akatsuki's BDA

I was in a very percussion-heavy mood when I wrote this. (Can you tell?) Listening to the FLCL soundtrack had me jonesing for some dramatic cymbals.

Sampled:

Earthbound

Genko Junshu's BDA

Junshu's body was found in the Navigation Station. This called to mind sonar beeps and garbled radio messages and such. This is another one that wouldn't be nearly as interesting without the sampling. Hopefully this is transformative enough to not get me labeled a hack.

Sampled:

Earthbound

Law Kiyuu's EXE

This execution actually freaked me the hell out the first time I read it. Freaked me out for like a week - something about the combination of incredible writing and the subject matter. It honestly felt calculated to scare me specifically.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun with this one. I wanted to write something as unsettling as the execution it was accompanying. The intro is supposed to represent Law thinking he's already dead. Next comes his terror (evoked with the hilariously dissonant Altered scale), and then the final spooky arrhythmic section is supposed to be him being cut apart. (Note that part of the music drifts out of sync with itself to represent Law, uh, going to pieces.) The return of the piano is supposed to evoke the flashback section. That kind of piano sound always sounds spooky and/or sentimental to me.

Not much else to say now that I've dissected (heh) basically all of the decisions I've made for this one. I'm really proud of Law's execution song - it might be my favorite out of all the ones I've done for DECK.

Sampled:

Earthbound

Persona 2: Innocent Sin

The Doug Theme

Death Note

"It's a Long Way to Tipperary"

gamer butt song

Frogbot's EXE

The original plan for this one was start this one off with a hocket-y medley of all the previous body drops and executions. However, it would have been really tedious to export then import all the relevant instruments, so I didn't do that. Instead I remixed the typical BDA theme. It's supposed to convey the shift from FrogBot's reign of despair to the triumph of getting them executed. I realized part of the way through that this segment was far too triumphant given how many people died and the fact that the submarine is about to explode, so then I just ended it by lingering on a diminished chord. I'm not a very subtle person. Frogbot's execution lacks the death rattle 'cause there's no horrifying realization that one of your classmates is dead. (Exercise for the reader: find where I hid the Flintstones theme in this song. Good luck.)

Conclusion

DECK was a lot of fun to work on. I wrote some extremely messy code, made some sick as hell videos, and wrote some pretty baller music. I got to see some wonderful artists do their work, and I got to skim some pretty intense roleplaying. Thank you to everyone who said nice things about my music and to the mods for being really cool dudes. Special thanks to Mints and Los for letting me put this long-winded rant on their blog, and thank you for reading this whole thing.

See you on the flip side, y'all.

[softhaos]

RAPID EYE MOVEMENT

pairing – wen junhui x reader genre – humor + acting major!junhui + sorta tom and jerry relationship i guess description – it’s another day and another attempt to take pictures of junhui and get a good grade in photography class. alternatively, junhui plays you once again and you remain a dumbass. warning – some not-so-heavy insults here and there word count – 3,380 words author’s note – this wasn’t supposed to see the light of day until i published the long ass introduction to jun’s route but i did it anyway pls enjoy uwu

set in the victorious universe | can be read as a standalone

“The grades were distributed evenly this time, so pairing up is going to be simple: Asshats form a duo with Bitches. Cocksuckers, get yourself a Dickhead as a partner,” Seungkwan hollers.

You frown as you see the big fat ‘C’ at the top right-hand corner of your evaluation sheet. You had a relatively good feeling about your acting abilities at the last evaluation test but looking back at it, you start to share the opinion that your performance was average at best. Some gestures were forced, your expressions were exaggerated and your voice was strained at times. It takes you a sideways glance to see that you’re not the only one who overestimated themselves this time.

“Cocksucker,” Mingyu mouths at you before he runs his fingers through his hair; an act of exasperation he does out of habit instead of letting his frustration show on his face.

It takes you a second before the light bulbs go on in your head. You wonder why nobody has complained that Seungkwan, who is the TA and younger than the majority of students in this class, substitutes letters for unoriginal insults. Isn’t this what they call abuse of power? This definitely is an abuse of power. However, nobody doesn’t really seem to mind, even the ones who passed the evaluation with flying colors.

It’s quite easy to identify the grades the other people got. It’s a little hard to distinguish the B students from the C students, but whereas the B students let a hint of satisfaction linger on their faces for a while longer, the C students are either glad they didn’t rank in the worst grade or are simply frustrated. You and Mingyu fall into the latter. Pure mortification coats the faces of the D students and everything else, meaning happiness or the just-as-expected look, are the expressions of the A students.

Junhui is an A student, so he falls into the category Asshat.

His reaction is barely visible, it’s nothing more than a slight twitch of the corners of his mouth before he busies himself in cheering up an extremely whiny Seokmin. Yeah, he definitely is one of the Dickheads today.

You admit a C is totally fine. Given that it was your first evaluation test in the past few months and it’s still the beginning of the new semester, a C is a good starting point. There’s a lot of room for improvement and–

Who are you kidding, you hate that you delivered an average performance. And with Seungkwan’s restriction that as a C student, you must take a D student for the next assignment, you hate it even more. It’s not that you don’t want to work with someone who did even worse than you did, but you had the perfect scenario planned out in your head to prepare for Professor Jang’s assignment and emerge victoriously.

You still haven’t forgiven Junhui for playing you the last time and you never will unless you get your justice and get a good shot of him for your portfolio. It’s sad how you worry more about passing the subject you’re minoring in instead of the one you’re majoring in. But it’s Professor Jang after all, and you rather resort to more unethical morals than crushing under her agonizingly high standards to even get a satisfactory grade.

If it weren’t for Seungkwan and his stupid grade restriction, you would’ve called the dibs on Junhui, work with him for the next partnered assignment and secretly take pictures of him to throw into your portfolio and shove up Professor Jang’s face, since she absolutely adores him. At least there is a tiny loophole to pass her classes with ease. Bless Junhui’s impressive history as a child actor back in China. Maybe not bless him completely though, just a quarter. You’d rather throw him off a cliff first until you get a goddamn picture of him.

“Ah, I’m fucked,” you huff and carelessly drop the sheet on your desk.

“Being a cocksucker isn’t the end of the world,” Mingyu starts and you’re quick to cut him off.

“Don’t ever, ever use ‘cocksucker’ in that context again. And no, I wasn’t referring to my grade. Okay, it has a little to do with it but I am fucked in a sense of I can’t partner up with Jun–”

“I see where this is going.” Mingyu shakes his head and adds, “Don’t break your head about photography class too much. It isn’t even your major!”

“But it’s Professor Jang! I have every right to stress about my minor. Plus, I still need my payback after that stunt Junhui pulled on me.”

“As if it was that bad.”

“I snuck onto Professor Jang’s computer and found her stan twitter and Tumblr account. Not to forget her old ao3 account where she posted Marvel and Haikyuu fanfics. If that doesn’t sound like a traumatic experience to you then I don’t know anymore,” you deadpan. This isn’t supposed to spread amongst the students because you are certain, at one point someone is going to find out that it was you who found out and then Professor Jang is going to give you literal hell.

Also, you really don’t want to recall any of Professor Jang’s writings from back when she was still a student. (It’s not that her writing was bad, but her writing fanfiction out of all things is the last thing you expected from her.)

“Oh.” is everything Mingyu can fire back with.

You sigh and focus on the problem at hand. If you can’t secretly take pictures of Junhui at a convenient setting, then you’d have to either wait for a new opportunity like this or actually resort to borderline stalking him. As handsome as he is (of course you admit that, everyone can agree that he is indeed a very handsome guy) you don’t want to stoop as low as some other photography students who really go through with the latter for the sake of Professor Jang. But then again, doesn’t taking snapshots of him without his consent also count as stalking?

No, it’s all for a good cause. One picture never killed anybody before, not at this university, that is.

You’re so immersed in your thoughts that you don’t realize someone is standing in front of you until they tap your shoulder. You flinch and look up to a smiling and visibly calmer Seokmin.

“Hey, are you still free for a partner? I mean, only if you’re a C student. I’m sorry if you’re not one. It’s just, I overheard Mingyu saying that being a C student isn’t the end of the world and he directed it at you and–”

Before Seokmin ultimately becomes a tongue-tied mess, you say, “Sure.”

A wave of relief washes over Seokmin but his happiness fades away the moment Mingyu decides to butt in. “Good luck with Y/N’s current state. Y/N will need at least a week to cool down and focus on the assignment instead of complaining about not being Jun’s partner.”

You snap your head at Mingyu, staring him down with your what the actual fuck look and hastily defend yourself. “I swear, it’s not as bad as he makes it out to be! The context in this is so wrong–”

However, your defense falls on deaf ears.

“So… you’re crushing on Jun?” Seokmin asks in disbelief. Genuine curiosity is etched on his face and there’s no trace of disappointment whatsoever.

“Of course not!” you snort and you’re pretty sure that your pupils are shaking, desperately looking for any justified explanation that is not playing his fansite for a moment. “It’s just– uh, you know how they say that he’s the best actor on campus. I thought that’d be the best approach to ace the next evaluation.”

Thank God Seokmin is oblivious and doesn’t question the obvious lie you threw at him. Up until now, Mingyu has witnessed the entire situation and this time, he’s the one who sends you the what the fuck look. He’s about to interject and expose your true nature, but Seokmin is quick to respond.

“Maybe I can get Jun and his partner to practice with us a few times. No, not maybe, I’ll definitely succeed in that.” he smiles brightly, just as if he has hit the greatest realization.

You lift your brows in surprise and go along with him. “That’d be awesome! You think you could really arrange that?”

“Yeah!” he nods excitedly before agreeing to meet up sometime later in the week and skips back to his seat.

“I can’t believe you actually managed to do that. Seokmin basically handed you the invitation to be near Jun.” Mingyu deadpans.

You send him an innocent smile and shrug. “What can I say? Karma loves me.”

You recall that Professor Jang used to write Kagehina fanfiction and her bookmarks on ao3 all consisted of homosexual plot without porn. You could care less about her sexual preferences or orientation or whatever the right term is, but you’re pretty damn sure that she’d act like one of those Tumblr stans whenever they see two members of the same group up close and personal with each other. The picture of Professor Jang’s adoration for Junhui is up to the roof (at least, that’s what you think) so if you put these two elements together, she would explode.

Honestly, you can see the appeal of it. The real question is, who does not want to see Junhui trapping Seokmin against the wall like they usually do in romance anime?

“Don’t be panicked, Seok. The love interest is supposed to stay unbothered!” Kyulkyung, Junhui’s partner, shouts beside you.

“I would like to be unbothered but it’s impossible when he’s literally breathing down my neck!” Seokmin whines back and tries to become one with the wall, lurching away from Jun. The latter, however, isn’t having it and rearranges his hands even closer to Seokmin’s head, up until the point where he slunks down and tries to escape from below.

That seems to seal the deal because Junhui immediately retreats and lets out a long sigh. “Seok, you need to relax.”

“I want to see you try to stay still with someone invading your personal space,” Seokmin mutters back as he looks over the script again. “We’ve already established that Y/N is the love interest, so why am I taking over this role?”

“I was just demonstrating how intimidating you have to be so that Y/N can pull off the role well. The love interest is supposed to feel uncomfortable but try to stay sane about it. You get it so far?”

“Yes!” Seokmin exclaims. Jun, on the other hand, doesn’t seem too convinced yet and sends Kyulkyung a pleading look.

“Kyul, can you try the lead on him?”

Without hesitation, Kyulkyung jumps up from her seat and marches over to the front of the auditorium. “You ready?” she asks Seokmin with a sweet and encouraging smile.

“Whenever you’re– eek!” Seokmin lets out a shrill high-pitched shriek when Kyulkyung slams both of her hands beside his head, invades his personal space even more than Junhui did and stares up at him coldly. It takes your best to not fall on the floor out of laughter and it looks like Junhui is having a hard time suppressing a devilish grin.

“I think I’m gonna get some drinks. This is making me tired. Anyone want something? Seokmin?” Kyulkyung instantly drops the boldface and returns to her usual, bubbly personality. Seokmin, still in shock and so close to suffering from heart palpitations, slides down the wall and only brings out a shaky nod.

“Water for him if you don’t mind,” you shout from the audience. Kyulkyung rogers that and is about to take off when Junhui says,

“Seok looks like he needs to say the light of day. You mind taking him with you?”

“You’re right. He does look like he’s about to die soon,” Kyulkyung agrees and crouches down to his level. “C’mon, let’s get some snacks.”

“Huh? Y-yeah, sure.” Even his legs are wobbly when Kyulkyung pulls him on his feet. Luckily, it doesn’t take long until he doesn’t walk like a drunk guy and with that, only two were left in the auditorium.

It’s not that you aren’t on speaking terms with Junhui, but the silence is still comfortable for you. Junhui wastes no time and picks up the script, his nose scrunching up a few times as he mumbles the words under his breath. You remain seated in the front row, your own script covering the lower half of your face. With him concentrating on memorizing the words, it’s the perfect time to snag some snapshots.

(You would’ve taken pictures of Junhui sandwiching Seokmin, but you don’t want to burden Seokmin even more and include him in your portfolio without his consent.)

You fish your phone out of your pocket and carefully let the camera lens peak over the script, your eyes flickering between Junhui and Junhui on the screen. He seems to remain oblivious and you pray that Kyulkyung and Seokmin won’t return anytime soon.

He suddenly stops talking and you hide your phone completely, feigning innocence. Junhui doesn’t pay you any attention though and rolls his shoulders back before he picks up his practice. However, this time he’s started to walk around the stage and swing his free arm around. You don’t see how in the world doing some exercises whilst practicing his lines is doing him any good right now.

Things start to go downhill for you the moment he drops the script and cages air between him and the wall. With the quick, sharp movements he’s doing, it’s pretty much impossible to take a clean shot of him. Even if it’s Junhui, Professor Jang won’t accept any blurry photograph as satisfactory. Also, you want to spare yourself from overusing Photoshop on one single picture.

You’re so immersed in holding up your script as natural as possible and simultaneously trying to find a good angle with your phone that you completely miss the presence sneaking from behind you.

“You're supposed to be practicing, not be on your phone, my dear child!”

You welp and instantly drop the phone on your lap followed by the script as you crane your head back and see Professor Yee towering above you. You’ve got used to his rather… eccentric choice of clothing and lollipop in his mouth.

“How long have you been standing there?!” you squeak and stand up, your phone and script now tucked under your arm. “Also, don’t scare a student like that!”

“I’ve got my ways, Y/N,” Professor Yee singsongs before he pays Junhui some attention too. “I just wanted to stop by. I didn’t know that you two decided to pair up for the upcoming evaluation!”

“We’re not!” both of you deny that claim in sync.

Not seeming to connect the dots, Professor Yee tilts his head to the side. “Why not?”

“Because he’s an asshat! I’m a cock–” he suddenly shoots you a horrified expression and then you get what you just said. Oh, fuck Seungkwan.

“Y/N’s a C student and I’m a got an A in the last evaluation. We decided to practice together as four with our respective partners several times,” Junhui steps in for you.

“How marvelous!” Professor Yee exclaims excitedly and drops down on one of the chairs. “I guess that you–” he points at Junhui, “–are the lead and you–” he gestures to you, “–are preparing the love interest. Isn’t that right?”

“Um, yeah,” you nod.

“Good! Then action!”

You need a while for the words to process in your brain. “Wait what?”

“I wanna see what you’ve done so far!”

“But we’re not partners–”

“Who cares? It’s not the official monthly evaluation yet, is it?”

“He’s right,” Junhui mimics, “It’s not the official evaluation yet, so let’s go through it once!”

With Professor Yee’s expectant eyes gleaming at you and Junhui’s indirect challenge, you have no other choice than to comply. Sighing, you place your script and phone on the chair and huff, “Fine. Let’s get it over already.”

While you and Junhui are slowly getting into character, Professor Yee picks up your script, flips through the pages and reads the instructions out loud with way too much enthusiasm. “Scene one, act three. Person A is completely done with B’s bullshit and decides to confront them then and there. Action!”

Junhui slams both of his hands beside your head as a sly smirk adorns his lips. “We need to talk.”

For a second, you’re starstruck. The guy just a few inches away from you is no longer Junhui pretending to be someone. It’s like he’s completely taken over the role and Junhui doesn’t exist right now. His hooded eyes hint danger and his close proximity causes goosebumps to form on your skin. You know you’re slightly shaking and now you understand why Seokmin had acted the way he did. You really didn’t expect Junhui’s acting to be so overwhelming.

But unlike Seokmin, you manage to stay in character.

“Are you serious? Get off me,” you spit out the words filled with disgust and try to push him away. He doesn’t give in though and instead, forces himself on you even more up to the point where his breath hits your face.

“We need to talk.”

You purse your lips and try your best to stay unaffected while he continues. “I don’t appreciate you doing things behind my back when they very much concern me too. I may have let it slide once or twice, but if I ever see you trying to take pictures of me in a painfully obvious way one more time, you’ll regret it.”

Wait a minute. That’s not part of the script. That’s definitely not part of the script.

Your mouth goes dry and your cheeks heat up once you realize he’s known all along. Suddenly, you feel like becoming one with the wall just like Seokmin.

“That’s not part of the script!” you scream and break out of character, pushing him away from you but that’s not enough to wipe the wicked grin out of his face.

“So what? You should’ve gone with it instead of breaking character! Ten minus points for Slytherin!” Professor Yee fires back. “There’s this thing called improvisation, y’know?”

You scoff at that lame justification. “That’s not the point of this evaluation!”

“But this isn't the official evaluation, my child.”

Beside you, Junhui can barely contain his laughter. It takes all of your might to not punch him in the gut.

“My work here is done,” Professor Yee stands up and dusts of imaginary dust of his pants. “You’re both doing a great job. Well, see you in the next lesson!”

Both you and Junhui force feign innocence until the professor is out the door. The moment the door falls in its lock, Junhui turns at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Heh, you’re easy to catch off guard. It’s even more amusing than seeing Seokmin go wild at parties.”

“Oh shut up.”

“I can’t believe you called yourself a cocksucker in front of the professor,” he snickers.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you’d just suck it up and be my goddamn model for one an hour!” you scowl back at him.

Just as if you just flipped a switch in him, you suddenly find yourself pressed up against the wall. Junhui’s expression is teasing, but there’s something else lies under it. Whether it’s pissed off or you really want to be killed huh, you can’t really deduce. Whatever it is, it’s not necessarily calming.

“I wasn’t joking when I said that,” he smiles at you. It’s not the genuine smile that makes you feel welcome, but the genuine smile that promises he won’t break this promise.

He’s about to add on to that when the door flies open and Kyulkyung awkwardly asks, “We’re not interrupting something, aren’t we?”

“Nope! Just acting!” you say and push Junhui away. At least he has the decency to play along and keep your dispute a secret.

What he doesn’t keep for himself though, is that Professor Yee popped in and how you called yourself a cocksucker in front of him.

[corgisocks]

85 questions

tagged by @ribenaflip 💞💕💖💗

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

EDIT: as of 2019, this tag is like 20% irrelevant to what i’m like now....did it in 2017 so

— what was your last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: it was me calling jojo’s phone so they could find it

3. text message: “I am having a major crisis”

4. song you listened to: coffee & tv by blur

5. you cried: that’s tmi but also saying it’s tmi is tmi and all of this is tmi so what am i DOING

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes i kissed a piece of toast and it got crumbs all over my face

8. been cheated on: if i have been that’d be concerning seeing as i’ve never not been single

9. lost someone special: not recently.

10. been depressed: 24 hours 7 days a week m8

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: what is an alcohol? (no)

— fave colours

12. vermilion 13. cerulean 14. very very dark grey

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: YEET (shoutout to the gc)

16. fallen out of love: i WISH (lmao it’s been 2 years please end me)

17. laughed until you cried: yea obvs

18. found out someone was talking about you: many times. many many many times.

19. met someone who has positively changed you: YES. my bestest buddy has and not in a bad way. i’m definitely a better and happier person because i met him

20. found out who your friends are: i never think about friendships in that kind of way. and if i did i probs wouldn’t care to be like ‘they were a shitty friend’ instead it’d just be like they were someone in my life and it sucks that they’re not/don’t want to be in a good way anymore but shit happens. and i don’t take it personally

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what is a face book because if it’s like a book of faces i kissed myself in the picture of my group of friends that is in my yearbook

— general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: again…what is a face book

23. do you have any pets: YEET

24. do you want to change your name: i mean idk i think i’d be cool with just usin a nickname for now i’ll figure the legal stuff out later

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to my friend’s birthday party. spent almost all of it looking for one of the people who was invited with two of my bros. then i saw wonder woman, went to a reallyreally good korean bakery, and then went to the empire state building. and last but not least, the next day, my friends came over and we played clue and mariokart. all in all it was a 10/10 birthday tbh! (it was an anomaly though ngl my birthday this year is going to be infinitely more depressing)

26. what time did you wake up today: 5:30 am cos my school starts too fuckin early ;(

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: taking a shower

28. what is something you can’t wait for: plake’s upcoming single (it’s my fav and i’ve been wanting it in my library for m o n t h s so i’m 110% ready for it

30. what are you listening to right now: the sound of people talking

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i was at an improv comedy show and of all people i was picked to volunteer and when i was on stage my shoe fell off and one of the comedians who was called tom was like 'your foot has been borne to the audience’

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: my own exhaustion!

33. most visited website: my school’s online gradebook 😬

34. hair colour: really dark brown (some people think it’s black but NO)

35. long or short hair: short...it will never be long again i assure you

36. do you have a crush on someone: yes ;(((

37a. what do you like about yourself: i may be an awful person atm but at least i can understand why i am the way i am and know how to improve

37b. what’s something you don’t like about yourself: too many things. rn though i don’t like how i come off as like a 'show-off’ when i’m trying to help people cos me trying to get them to like actually understand what they’re learning always sets em off even though it’d be worse to just do things my own confusing way and leave em in the dust. i also hate how i get frustrated with them (and myself tbh) when that happens

38. want any piercings: hecc no

39. blood type: i legit have no clue

40. nicknames: lou, coco

41. relationship status: what is a relation ship

42. sign: gemini

43. pronouns: he/they i GUESS

44. fave tv show: peppa pig tbh

45. tattoos: hecc no!

46. right or left handed: BOTH

47: ever had surgery: nope 😬

48. piercings: once again HECC NO

49. sport: used to do tennis and track. now i kind of just do a lil bit of everything for fun and i love biking and running

50. vacation: yes please. i need a vacation from LIFE

51. trainers: i’ve had the same old black nikes for three years and the same flip flops for five ;( (and i also have some black converse high-tops that i never wear unless i need to look 'nice’ whoops)

— more general

52. eating: i prefer raw foods to pretty much everything so poke bowls are my jam. i’m also a vegetarian who doesn’t eat fruit because what is self-care??

53. drinking: water. it’s important to stay hydrated

54. i’m about to watch: my surroundings that aren’t my phone

55. waiting for: this tag to be over. yikes

56. want: to pass english for ONE GODDAMN MARKING PERIOD before i graduate cos i haven’t since mp1 of ninth grade during which i got a 99 (now i have a 15 look how far i’ve come!!)

57. get married: i mean…

58. career: ah yes i’ll probably have one of those

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: y'all mean in relationships? no pref. generally speaking though i almost always hate both

60. lips or eyes: no pref

61. shorter or taller: no pref…

62. older or younger: i don’t think about any of this shit i am so confused!!

63. nice arms or stomach: what constitutes an arm or stomach being nice?

64. hookup or relationships: labels ew neither is good

65. troublemaker or hesitant: somehow i’m both. like i’m loud as fuck and kind of obnoxious and audacious but i also have 9.9/10 self-control. so like i would be cool with either type of person

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: i hope not

67. drank hard liquor: hecc no

68. turned someone down: i thought i was gonna have to but that never happened WHEW

69. sex on first date: what is this “sex” you speak of? what is a “date”?

70: broken someone’s heart: i hope not! except hearts are kinda squishy so like i probably haven’t

71. had your heart broken: no although my heart rate’s so high i fear it will explode one of these days

72. been arrested: so far, no

73. cried when someone died: :((( chris cornell. i was lookin up soundgarden on google to find tour dates near where my uncle lives and then i saw it and i was like 'no. nononono. nonononononononono.’ then i let one tear escape from the ducts in my eyes before going into denial river. (aren’t i so fuckin clever 😤😤😤)

i also cried during a tribute to chester bennington at a muse concert if that counts

74. fallen for a friend: once again ew labels but y'all should know by now that i HAVE and i’m STILL falling ;(

— do you believe in

75. yourself: i have no concept of anything in existence and this tag has made me realise that. whoops

76. miracles: i could ramble about this one but i don’t have the time

77. love at first sight: dunno, but i will say that when i met my best friend i knew i was going to love him from how he acted and what his sense of humour is like. he’s so unique really like you can TELL he’s his own person and he owns it without trying to

78. santa claus: yes but only cos i’m tryin to stay off the naughty list

79. angels: what is an angels

— misc

80. eye colour: this is a subject that has been widely debated so for now i’ll just say they’re either grey or green or both

81. best friend’s name: zeke

82. favourite movie: i have no concept of having a favorite movie unless it’s based on who it’s by so i’ll say my favorite pixar movie is wall-e for the sake of having something down for this question. otherwise it’s probs either memento or the imitation game.

83. favourite actor: myself 🤔

84. favourite cartoon: oh shit that’s too hard. my favs as a young child were tom and jerry and the first season of the pokémon anime and i guess my fav one that’s more 'mature’ is bojack horseman (although i’ve only seen half the first season lol)

85. favourite teacher’s name: my favorite is either nicole, hyungmin, rebecca, eileen, hayley, matt, kevin, or robert, but like…i hate picking cos that’s just unfair. so idrk

can’t tag rn but do this if you want to i guess

[jaspesangriento]

BedHead

BedHead- My little shitty piece (but made with load of love) for Michelle’s AU & Things Challenge @luci-in-trenchcoats​ 

I’m really sorry for how long it took, but sadly, I’m a procrastinator in full shape and form.

Most of the female hunters he had met before you were either tomboys or extremely powerful women. But not y/n. She, as many girls whose lives had been taken away from them, didn't care much about looks, but you still kept yourself attached to your simple style. You wouldn't dress up in the bunker or in hunts, but still fix your messy hair in the mornings onto a simple ponytail or braid.  Gabriel and Dean couldn't help but look into your reflex in the mirror as your sleepy  eyes tracked the hair seeping on your forehead. Both would wake up and while Dean prepared coffee, he would snap the best pancakes for you. Y/n had fallen into a simple routine. Wake up Sammy from the library in the middle of the night and drag him back to his room. Tidy the shooting range until your insomnia had been beaten down and go back to sleep. The soft smile you gave them as you sat on the kitchen table each morning was enough to forget whatever villain or curse they were against this time. Of course, neither of them were gonna ever tell you that. They'll rather keep pretending than try to take that smile from the other one.

When Gabriel first met the new addition to Team Free Will, he was scared. A soul like yours would be wrecked by the blood-thirst of the creatures that bump in the night. So shinny, interested in the knowledge of the past that the MoL bunker had to offer. It took him less than a day before he was interrogating the younger Winchester about her. "Her mother was an old contact of the Men of Letters for all kinds of Norse mythology. Like, translating The Poetic Edda from the start kinda level. So when she died, Y/n found a note explaining everything and she came to find some answers" "And when I got them and saw how little this giants knew about gods, decided to stay as a researcher" You interrupted as the side of your body supported itself on the door. Saying you were beautiful was underestimated. Your 1,60 mts made him taller than you (thing already weird to happen) and a concentrated ball of sass and smart-ass comments with a little bit of sweetness and mother hen instincts. You were wearing a too big for you t-shirt and stretch pants you were practically stepping on. " And who is this new guy? " her eyes stumble with yours as she asks. The archangels fights as stutter as he tries to get back his charm and charisma." I'm Gabriel, Archangel of the Lord, but you may call me Loki,  your new all hands helper" wink. Seeing her face as she realizes one of the gods she's been studying all her life is standing in front of her is enough to leave her breathless and open-eyed. He could sense her knees shivering and a scent of overwhelming, excitement, and fear filling the room. By know Sam had left the room living her murmuring to herself a thousand questions and worries. "Hey sugar, calm down. Is just old me. You don't have to bow or anything, but please keep your questions between one and two million, 'cause if you do more I may end keeping you" You chuckle. When you joined the Winchesters you never thought you would get to meet an actual god, especially since Dean had forced you to promise to abstain from actual hunting. On the other side of the room, Dean felt a stab of jealousy as you looked at the annoying archangel with adoration. Of course you were gonna chose the all powerful and flawless short, golden eyed guy. He had been to slow on his feelings, never actually dealing with them to notice that he didn't woke up early everyday just for kiks and sakes, but to watch you walk inside the kitchen and rub your eyes as your messy hair puffed up with freeze. His little brother bugged him for weeks until you almost heard him and stopped. The thing is, you were even more fascinating on the inside. You had never heard any classic rock apart from the ones that appeared in movies, but still would try to follow him bickering on and on about Metallica. You didn't know how to drive anything but your old bike, but he never failed to notice your company as he fixes cars. The way your eyes had lit up a few days ago when the bunkers entrance was filled with autumn leaves. If he ever went back to heaven, he was sure that, you, dragging Sam and him to jump on the leaves and laugh, was going to be there, right next to the fireworks, Mom cooking, drinking with Jo and Bobby, Cas trying to understand his references with a cocked head and many more. Of course, now that mr. Norse deity was here, all the nightmare filled dreams he avoided by staying up all night with you watching "completely inaccurate" Marvel movies would belong to another.

Gabriel was great. He explains Voluspa for you and shows you places that disappeared in time. You still read with Sammy and swapped recipes with Dean as he told stories of hunts and shared laughs with Castiel in enochian to mock the brothers. But as your feelings for Gabriel evolved into similar ones you had for Dean, you've became wary of yourself. It was too impossible for them to understand. Sam, maybe. But what good would it do but make him uncomfortable. So you started staying a little more time in your room, appearing to join conversations less and less everyday. "What the fuck did you do to her?" Dean exploded one morning you didn't appear in the kitchen. "What I did, Dean-o? It's not my fault Y/n doesn't want to pay a visit to Midgard with me anymore. Was it something you said? You don't want her to socialize with 'monsters' like me, right? Yes, I heard what you thought. Well, fuck you, big boy! I wouldn't want to be the friend of a Daddy issued mess like you if I were her anyway!" You stopped your tracks at the hall as you heard your best friends fight each other because of you. Although knowing they both care you so much is making your chest start to beat to the rhythm of a fast rap song, you can't help to suffer even more knowing you could never have their love. Your sobs start and as you run to your room the fighting stops. Dean and Gabriel look at each other before going to your room. They did this to you. Knock. Knock. Knock "Sugar...It's us. Can we talk?" Gabe didn't use a voice so calm without cause. "We've calmed down. Not shouting at all" "Dean I'm not a fucking scared dog!" Voice broken as could be. "Sorry. We just want to explain ourselves." Even though they talked cockily and with confidence you knew they both thought they weren't enough for you. You had a type, it seemed. Dean was that warm feeling when you arrived home to the smell of humidity and the sound of a guitar and Gabe was that sweetness when you left strawberries to soak on sugar, and that soft touch on old books. They were oh so perfect. The door opens to meed a flushed red Y/n who is cleaning her eyes on the sleeves of her morning shirt. She waves a 'come in' and they all sit on the bed. "Look, Gabe, Dean, I didn't mean for any of this to happen.-" You were interrupted by Gabe's hand on your knee. You don't think you've ever seen him so serious. He's wearing a little concerned guilty frown and a compassive smile. " You don't even stand each other an-and I now you're fighting and-" A double hug stopped you. Gabe just had his head on your shoulder and a squish informed you Dean had his arms around you. "It's not your fault sweetheart. I'm sorry. I just..got jealous, like, really jealous. You used to spend so much time with me and since Gabe joined us, I can only see the fact that I miss being with you" He still wouldn't spill his feelings, but he wanted to be as honest as he could without breaking his "Dean bottles feelings" rule. "Dean-o, it's not your fault either, I know the reason Y/n has been more absent lately is me. I know I can be  a bit to much sometimes. I destroyed the rutine you guys had." "Stop it with the fault game! I backed away because I knew that I kept on going further it would break me when I left!" "Leave? Why?" Gabe actually looked scared for once. "Because the moment I confessed to you it would turn into a mess!!" You see their shocked faces as they slowly looked at each other. When did this situation turn into a soap opera? "I've been in love with you too dumbasses for a long time now and I know it's dumb but " In that moment you feel a pair of lips on yours. They're soft and they don't push. You're left there, shocked, as the face backs away and you can see better those deep green eyes. "You can't even begin to understand how long I've waited to hear that Y/n" Oh God! Oh! Did Dean just...he just did. You felt like hugging someone to death. " I'm sorry to burst your bubble here boy toy but you got competition. If Y/n will have me, believe me I'll try my hardest to get her to choose  me over anyone." "Then bring it feather duster!" "Guys! I'm not a trophy! " " What about this, we give you...three dates with each and then you choose. Of course, you don't have to do anything, or you can just choose me, but..!" "What if I already know?" You see their eyebrows rise in worry and anxiety. There's a tension in the room so thin you can cut with little children's scissors. "Both?" you close yourself like waiting for a punch. Dean looks at you with confusion. " you know...poly?...non-monogamous..?" Minutes later and they are still looking at each other astonished. From the archangel's side the idea wasn't new, but a relationship with the guy he killed like on a Tom and Jerry's episode sounded like the worst shit ever. Not was he obnoxious but his stubbornness reached skies! For Dean it was more of weirded out by the concept of sharing a partner with someone else.He was already jealous as it is and Gabriel had been driving him nuts for all the time he'd known him. But of course they would be willing to try if it meant getting to kiss you again. When they both nodded, you got a bit closer and looked at each others eyes for a moment. "I need you to be sure. Because in this kind of stuff there needs to be talking, and we all know how you are the two most likely people to keep everything bottled up." They both threw a bitchface of denial, before looking at the other and letting it drop down. Y/n was right, they were both possessive and jealous guys, which made the whole deal even more difficult. "We want to try. But before we set some rules and shit, I want one thing" Gabe approached wearing that playful smirk that promised so much. " A kiss." So you jumped on top of him with laughter and gave him a deep kiss.

A yawn made Sam aware of your entrance to the kitchen. Your hair as always in a mess that hanged on every direction possible. But, unlike other mornings, soon after you crossed the door, Gabriel and his brothers entered and gave you both a peck on your cheeks. Gabriel snapped a mirror for you and helped soothe your mess while Dean handed both of them cups of coffee and messed your hair up again. By the time you all sat down, Sam had a face of *can anyone fill me in?* . "Hey little brother, good morning. This is my girlfriend Y/n." "Yo, Sammikins! Remember that hot piece of ass that lives with you? She's my new gf." "So...okay. Good for all of you. Just... don't keep me up at night. I don't need to know what kind of shit you two can pull together"

[mulder-isms]

Mozart and the Rolling Stones - (Thorcid Fanfic)

A\N: It’s the birthday fic you’re all waiting for! This fic happens before and after the infamous Drag Roast that happened a few days ago where our beloved ones did the thing

(Gif by the reason why I’m trash @thorgyturner)

You also need to know that Acid went to Cynthia’s one woman show a month ago and they were all being cute on Snap Chat.

You know, feedback is heartily appreciated and the fire I need to keep this dumpster always full! Send me a note or slap me in the face and tell me what’s your favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry’s? ❤️

*

Christopher’s last piano notes resonated in Jamin’s head as a reminder that he had his own private musician at home. Jamin was out to see Cynthia’s Cucu confessions show and to talk to Carlos, it’s been too long and he felt like he needed to catch up with his friend, sharing his double life experience with someone he could trust.

Jamin was in love, and not just in love. Being with Shane was in, out and all over the place.

Shane was bigger than life, and as all exaggerated things it was hard to keep them tamed. Their indiscretions during the season 8 tour went by hopefully unnoticed, but Jamin could feel the need of going out in the sun spreading inside of him. Shane was the one holding it back, because he was afraid of the exposure with the fans, with the other girls and that what they had could be tainted. Let alone the gag of the century in Brooklyn. Thorgy Thor and Acid Betty together. That’s all people could see. They could never see beyond and reach for Shane and Jamin.

Hours later Christopher and Carlos were at the table of a restaurant, celebrating the premiere of Cynthia’s show. Carlos looked healthy and vibrant as ever and Christopher was talking to Latrice on the phone.

“You killed it today, I’m so proud of you! That dress is stunning, and your voice, I gagged. Maria Callas Carlos realness!” he commented as his friend reached for his hand to squeeze.

“How are you doing baby, ay dios mio it’s been so long! You’re looking so handsome” Carlos winked at Jamin that just scoffed. He was wearing his fish sweater and had tacos for lunch. He wasn’t feeling handsome at all.

They both noticed Christopher cackling on the phone. He had a sparkle on his eyes that Jamin knew too well.

“Excuse me girls, this will take a while” he said giggling getting off the table. Jamin’s eyes followed him wondering about the lucky ones that found such love.

“Christopher makes it look so easy with Latrice” he uttered swirling the straw of this drink observing the ice rocks.

Carlos widened his eyes as if he just got a message from above.

“You’re dating someone” he concluded pointing out dramatically to Jamin. “Ay tell me everything oh my god!” and then he squeezed and shook Jamin’s forearms.

He shook his head nervous laughing but not very convincing. He opened his mouth but stopped midway.

“I know you girl. I can read you like nobody else. We have a bond, and don’t you ‘Carlos, shut up’ me” he continued making a spot-on impression of Jamin’s monotone making him laugh.

“Okay, I guess there’s no better way or preparation for what I’m about to say so I’m going to just say it.”

“Go on????” Carlos was waving his eyes encouraging Jamin to continue in anticipation.

Jamin took few seconds thinking about the words to use, still holding the thought. He should just spill it out.

“I’m with Thorgy. We’ve been hooking up since the finale party. And no, we never had anything before, just a quick make out like ten years ago in a bathroom and we were both drunk and it was New Year’s Eve and I had a boyfriend, it was a messy mess. We’ve been living sorta together? Trying to make our relationship work through this constant travelling life…but so far, I’ve never been happier with anyone like this before. And yeah, that’s it. I love Thorgy and…” he paused to finally breath and realize that he was saying it aloud for the first time to another person “I’m in love with Shane” he softly chuckled with the sound of this own confession.

Carlos just stood there in silence with his mouth part open.

“Sorry, my cucu just dropped on the floor” then he opened a smile and clapped hands excited. “Oh my god I’m so happy for you two! I can totally see that. You two are Brooklyn sisters and that chemistry, awwww, look at my Acid Berry in love”

“Shut up, Carlos” he answered rolling his eyes feeling his cheeks burning, but his chest way lighter.

“You’re the love of my life and Thorg Torg better watch out. But this makes me happy, ay mis amores I need to see her again. We need to play together! Maybe a love serenade for you?” Carlos teased and Jamin rolled his eyes shaking off the urge to laugh.

“I already regret this cucu confession” he grunted looking annoyed, but secretly relieved. One more piece of the secret was out. He wanted the tell the whole world.

*

“So?”

Jamin asked not being able to read Shane’s expression.

He was sitting on the kitchen table of his apartment. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and he had just woken from a nap, his limbs still sore from the week organizing things for Drag Con. The notebook was on the table with the layout of his booth on the screen.

Shane told Jamin he was there in twenty minutes and he had ice cream and an answer about the material he had for the roast. Jamin was too tired to take a shower or even change, so when Shane got there he was still wearing his pajamas shorts and a gray worn out tank top.

The moment Jamin was asked to participate of the Roast of Thorgy Thor he texted Shane the same minute.

“This is going be a shit show”

He wasn’t wrong. That was one of problems of dating a Drag Queen, and add one more layer to the problem as secretly dating a Ru girl. He knew his boyfriend too well and he knew Shane’s reaction would be to be excited and pretend that he wasn’t going to care. But Jamin could read not only Shane’s crooked bubbles tattoos, but he could reach deeper in his mind like his favorite book.

Shane got home with the violin case on his shoulder, caramel pants, navy blue toms and a white shirt. His long dreads were all tamed in a bun and a headband, and he stumped in the room talking about how the set list for the Well Strung tour was amazing and how crazy and exciting was his day.

Jamin followed his boyfriend to the kitchen just listening to his stream of conscious, he sat on the table observing him taking off his shoes and leaving it on the floor as he sat on the kitchen counter. He opened the ice cream container and grabbed a spoon talking about how many pop songs could fit classical ones and the way everything nowadays was recycled.

“You know, good music is timeless. You can play Mozart and the Rolling Stones together in Satisfaction and it doesn’t matter if these melodies have a gap of centuries, they just…” he entwined his fingers for a more visual explanation, “sync!”

Jamin that hasn’t said a word just scratched his stubble and yawned. He got up from his chair and placed himself in front of Shane grabbing his spoon and the ice cream container from his hands, giving him a quick peck as payment for the retrieve.

“Hi” he said after greeting him and smirked, piercing into Shane’s eyes that stood motionless. Shane adjusted Jamin’s glasses that were almost at the tip of his nose.

“Hi” then he replied chuckling embarrassed of not even greeting him before. He observed Jamin sitting down again. “If you’re not continue to kiss me I’ll just keep talking” he teased raising a brow.

Jamin put his legs on the table and continued eating the ice cream licking slowly the spoon, making Shane shake his head with the audacity.

“So?”

Shane knew exactly what Jamin wanted to know. He read the material for the roast. He just hasn’t figure out how to explain to Jamin that it was okay, even though some things may have hurt his feelings, but he wasn’t ready to come off as such a sensible flower.

“It’s great, I love it. I think the audience and the other girls are going to have fun” he lied fetching a glass of water from the fridge and sitting again on the counter. Jamin wasn’t buying.

“Shane, I wasn’t going to agree with this Roast. I told you I was turning down and I’m not even that good in stand up comedy so nobody would be surprised if I’d refused”

“What are you talking about, you’ve received excellent feedback from the Haters Tour” Shane tried to make his point

“It’s different. I didn’t have to talk shit about you, and I don’t want to.”

Shane felt his stomach dropping, but he didn’t want to show any vulnerability.

“You’ve read my material and you weren’t bothered I don’t see a reason why should I be” he continued avoiding Jamin’s eyes.

“I don’t care because I know you. And I’m used to it. But you’re not. Usually you are the one on the other side. Roastings are supposed to be inappropriate and savage” Jamin pointed out but somehow his protective tone was rubbing Shane the wrong way.

He was an experienced Drag Queen and he knew exactly what he was going to face, he didn’t need Jamin to protect him. Their relationship wasn’t going to interfere on his job.

“Look, Jamin. I know these bitches and I know what roasts are about for fuck’s sake, it’s fine! I don’t need you to tell me how I feel, fuck!” he replied annoyed.

Jamin squinted his eyes feeling the anger building up. But he took a deep breath and ate more ice cream slowly, pondering his words. But Shane’s refusal of saying what he really wanted pissed him off so much, because he knew it was going to bite him in the ass after the Roast. He was just disappointed that Shane was still holding back, as if needed to trim his feelings around Jamin. He was just done with all the hiding.

“I was just trying to make you talk what you really want to say and being a decent boyfriend, but apparently you can’t say or be neither of these things” he taunted attacking the container with his spoon but he regretted immediately. Early morning, the day before he texted Shane saying he was craving for Ben and Jerry’s strawberry’s cheesecake and he had the damn thing on his hands now. He winced in regret.

“Look, Shane I-

“I’m an alcoholic loser with a horse face, a surfboard chin and on top of that a bad boyfriend?” he hissed getting livid. “Yes Jamin, I was hurt. If I haven’t been sucking your dick the past eight months maybe this silly shit wouldn’t hurt me. But it does. And I know it’s an act, and I know you don’t mean it but it doesn’t stop me from feeling. It’s ridiculous and I don’t want to talk about it. Is that what you want to hear?” he disclosed, each word reeked in pain. “And now you’ve just confessed how you really feel, I guess the roasting had already begun”

He jumped off the kitchen counter wiping quickly a tear that rolled down from his face and started washing the spoon he used with no purpose, since he was going to use it again. He always forgets to do the dishes in Jamin’s apartment.

The bad boyfriend part still echoing in his head.

Jamin was up approaching him.

“Shane wait, just listen okay. I didn’t mean any of that. Damn, it’s fucking drag. We need to give to these rotted cunts what they want. I’m an asshole. You’re not a bad boyfriend, bad boyfriends don’t bring Ben and Jerry’s in the middle of the day. You can say anything you want to me, don’t you get that? I’m always listening. Even when you talk about music of centuries ago and get emotional about it. I want to know everything”

Shane had his arms crossed in front of his chest looking away and Jamin used his arms as bars to stop him from stomping out of the kitchen, locking Shane that was leaning on the sink. Jamin observed from up close his beautiful features, his gray green eyes under his dark brows, his perfect cheekbones and pink lips still cold that probably tasted like strawberry heaven.

“You’re the only face I want to see all the time. And how fucking hot you look when your jaw clenches when you’re mad. Like now” he tried buttering him up chuckling and he could feel he was cracking. “Come on, it’s Sunday and we have nothing to do for the first time in weeks, let’s just not do this, please…” He begged pulling him closer by the waist squeezing the fabric of his shirt.

“I guess you can grind on my surfboard chin…surfboard…surfboard…gridin’ on that wood” he recited Beyonce’s finest lyrics in the most serious tone making Jamin cackle relieved and shaking his head.

“God, I hate you” he said reaching for his neck, nuzzling his fresh skin, sniffing the little hairs from his nape, but Shane was still with his arms crossed holding the smile that was trying to appear.

“Yeah, apparently you do” he replied sassy feeling Jamin’s erection poking on his thigh.

Jamin pulled him harder by his hips, making him moan and tearing down his annoyed facade. Shane reached for his face for an angry kiss, desperately taking off his tank top and pushing him against the counter on the other side, but Jamin grabbed him quickly by his fists and switched position pushing Shane to sit on the table.

“I’m so hungry, you should order pizza. And you’re paying everything today” he randomly commented taking off his pants and shoving in Jamin’s face. The pants slid until it hit the floor revealing Jamin’s big smile. Jamin removed his glasses putting on the sink and smoothed that mess that was his hair, he was all flustered and his cock deliciously erect in his pajamas shorts. Shane closed Jamin’s notebook and put it on the chair and picked the ice cream pot again, taking a scoop, licking the spoon with no hurry as Jamin fit the spot between his legs again. He started caressing the length of Shane’s naked thighs, going up massaging his crotch, but the younger man continued unbothered eating ice cream. At least until Jamin reached for Shane’s cock, cupping him over the briefs fabric, making Shane closing his eyes and his indifferent expression melt.

“How messy can we get?” Shane whispered on Jamin’s ear putting down the cream pot and hugging him as Jamin’s hand reached inside his briefs.

“As messy as you want…” Jamin replied lowering himself and pulling down Shane’s briefs and tossing on the air. It landed on the faucet making Shane giggle.

Jamin made Shane stand up and he dropped on his knees to get him completely inside his mouth. Shane had his arms on the edge of the table and one leg on the chair, so Jamin took the opportunity to insert one finger inside him making him almost crouching down of pleasure. He kept licking his head with intention and pace, as his finger was in the same rhythm. No wonder Jamin was a good dancer.

“Fuck Jay…this is am…”

He couldn’t even finish the sentence. Jamin’s grip was strong and his lip piercing friction on the lower part of his cock sliding up and down was Shane’s favorite sensation in the world. He reached for the curls of the top of his hair directing him, making him grunt with his approval.

After taking him almost to the edge Jamin stopped, standing up and Shane was a complete puddle and too weak on his knees.

“Bend over” Jamin commanded and he gladly did, the side of his cheek glued on the table when he noticed Jamin grabbing the ice cream and few seconds later the sting cold of the dessert dropping on his back, but Jamin’s hot tongue was fast enough, kissing and lashing the cold away, exploring every inch of his back. The mixed sensations making him squirm in pleasure.

“You really like this flavor…” Shane panted breathless stretching his arms across the table as Jamin licked the hollow of his back dimples.

“Yes, I do…” he whispered back, his teeth tasting Shane’s sweat and the sweet cream. “I love you” he reassured him nibbling on his earlobe and caressing his nape. Shane just nodded wondering if he was this happy ever in his life.

And then Jamin was thrusting inside him, with no restrains making him scream as he grabbed his arms from behind, and then pulling his whole body. Shane felt like his legs would melt any moment, his stomach pressed on the table that was holding only by a miracle.

“I’m goin….to…” he stuttered feeling Jamin hitting him deep on his prostate. Then he stopped and pulled Shane for a standing up cuddle, both of them panting, Shane feeling Jamin’s heartbeat on his back like a frenetic drum.

Shane kept swinging his lips lazily with and Jamin deepening inside of him.

“You feel so fucking good��I want to taste you” Jamin pleaded reaching for Shane’s cock again, as his other arm was locked around Shane’s chest, holding his body.

Jamin dropped on his knees to finish what he started not letting a drop to waist, and Shane tasted bittersweet, and he had nail his hips on the edge of the table so he won’t fell down, but Shane was already lowering himself for a kiss too tired of standing up. When their lips met again there was an explosion of flavors, their tongues drinking it all. This was the essence of being with Shane, everything at once.

After the languid kiss, they both collapsed on the floor, the kitchen tile too cold for their burning temperature. Shane still had some ice cream on his shoulder and Jamin swept the spot, noticing his fingerprints on Shane’s neck. His whole body was full of love marks. He was undoubtedly his.

*

The roast took ages and Thorgy just wanted to go home. He observed Acid speaking on the pulpit, just overwhelmed with the whole situation. Her body always looked amazing in that golden dress, she thought while taking a sip on her beer.

Acid was the last one and still have the unfortunate position of coming right after Bob. Shane wished Jamin could see him under all that Thorgy make up and comfort him that this wasn’t them. Acid looked right into her eyes and seemed to pick up his unspoken desires.

“Thorgy…” she started exasperated, she was rushed to finish the act and snarky the way she does when she is nervous. “I don’t know why the fuck I’m roasting you, maybe it’s your fucking birthday coming or you wished it was your funeral, bitch?” she hissed again, but Jamin was trying to come out. “And you’re moving away…” she knocked angrily on the pulpit.

All the constant longing of being away from each other. Verbalized in front of all those people. Shane felt butterflies in his stomach and tried to shake it off.

“You’re leaving Brooklyn again on this amazing journey with Well Strung and…” she paused, Jamin dying to come out again. “Leaving us alone, and you’re going to be in-creeeedible!”

Jamin felt that it was too late. He was there and Acid was gone. He noticed Shane talking to Miz Jade, he knew Thorgy was trying to come off cool and indifferent.

“But don’t worry about me…because I’ll be hosting all your shows, so thank you!” she sassed her way out.

Shane was listening to the whole thing, even with his brain going out in all directions trying to think about his come backs on the roast and interacting with the girls on the table. Jamin exposed their secret world but only Shane could see it.

“I love you, Acid!” Thorgy uttered standing up and reaching him for a kiss. All his sweet words resonating in his heart. Later when he would undress completely from Thorgy they would soar.

Thorgy aimed to kiss Acid with no intention of reaching for her cheek like she did with all her Brooklyn sisters. And Acid didn’t hesitate, reaching for her waist, and patting her back like she did all mornings. Their most common domestic interaction right there in the stage.

She got back to her place again, a secret smile locked in her lips, a lighter heart.

Jamin was here.

[kagaminao]

“I may be no better, but at least I am different.” Jean-Jacques Rousseau Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” Carl Jung “Too much positive can be detrimental. Too much negative can be destructive.” Erik Erikson Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” Benjamin Disraeli “People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.” Albert Ellis “Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.” Margaret Mead Always go too far, because that’s where you’ll find the truth.” Albert Camus It’s called mind over matter. If we don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Emma Donoghue Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak. Sun Tzu, The Art of War Sacrificing who we are for the sake of what others think just isn’t worth it.” Brené Brown The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” Carl Rogers Evil destroys even itself.” Aristotle To know what people really think, observe what they do, not what they say.” Rene Descartes While you live, tell truth, and shame the devil.” William Shakespeare I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think.” Socrates You should eat to live; not live to eat.” Socrates no man ever steps in the same river twice Heraclitus Don’t worry about anyone else… just do what seems right to you.” Franz Kafka, Sacrifice is at the heart of repentance. Without deeds, your apology is worthless. — Bryan Davis ““Would ‘sorry’ have made any difference? Does it ever? It’s just a word. One word against a thousand actions.” – Sarah Ockler “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.” – Tyron Edwards #3 "When Students cheat on exams it's because our School System values grades more than Students value learning." - Neil deGrasse Tyson "Ketika pelajar menyontek pada ujian, itu karena sistem sekolah lebih menghargai nilai daripada sang pelajar itu sendiri menghargai belajar." - Neil deGrasse Tyson “Don’t let your emotions make your decisions.” Joyce Meyer “I learned that people can easily forget that others are human.” Philip Zimbardo, Stanford Prison Experiment, 1971 For every minute you're angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness - ralph waldo emerson Everything’s a risk. Not doing anything is a risk. It’s up to you.” Nicola Yoon, Everything, Everything Things are what they are, and whatever will be, will be.” Jonas Jonasson, The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared Defend your beliefs by living accordingly, not by attacking the beliefs of others.” Jerry Corsten “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.” William James Love's wise – Hatred's foolish Bertrand Russell “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” Bertrand Russell “If everything on earth were rational, nothing would ever happen.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky “Stay close to anything that makes you glad that you’re alive.” Hafiz “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” Voltaire “We do not judge the people we love.” Jean-Paul Sartre “The first duty of love is to listen.” Paul Tillich Don’t explain your philosophy, Embody it Epictetus know yourself as nothing, feel yourself as everything - alan watts the meaning of life's just to be alive - alan watts “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” Tom Robbins If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past.” Baruch Spinoza “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucius “The purpose of education is not knowledge but action.” Herbert Spencer “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Confucius 私白いナオ作ります epistemology (n) study of knowledge #私たちの愛の物語 これは、世界で最も悲しいメロディーです Дебил👌🏼 I'm free to be with whoever I want, no one has the right to say anything about it #黒執事 Sirius, canopus, vega, polaris 7 maret #3 STIGMA cogito ergo sum- I think, therefore I am Butterfly, like a Butterfly 마치 Butterfly, bu butterfly 처럼 내 손을 잡아 줄 사람 없나 - i wanna go back to happy place 아름다웠던 그때로 돌아갈래 - i wanna go back to the beautiful days 이런 내 마음 들리나요 - can u hear my heart ・ ・

[straight-outta-the-asylum]

Life Long  (Dean Ambrose x Reader)

Oh boy, back on the scene! it’s been a rough couple of days, tbh, and I’m more than happy to put this out there and get back into writing. I hope to be able to have some sort of prompt thing or some sort of celebration for Valentine’s Day once I finish the one last request in my inbox. *throws computer away for corrupting baically every fucking thing on it*

This is actually sort of an amalgam of prompt requests; one lovely anon requested numbers 9, 22, 35 from (you guessed it) this list. Another anon requested a similar prompt not from the list, so I tried to incorporate it into this one. Although List Anon did request smut, which I’m very sad to say I couldn’t pull through with. Idk if it was my mind frame from the past few days or what, but all attempts at smut were extremely awkward or sickening. I tried to make up the lack of it with the addtion of extreme fluff and romance, but I’m sincerly apologizing, Anon. Please enjoy!

———————————————–

“Dean?” You called out as you trudged through the house you both shared, trying to stifle a yawn. The house was quiet, almost too quiet. It wouldn’t be overly dramatic to say it was suspicious, because when Dean was home there was rarely a dull moment in the house. Whether he was basically reenacting a Tom and Jerry skit with a fly in the house or watching old shows-he knew the ending to and still yelled at them what to do-you could be certain Dean Ambrose had his hands in there somewhere.

“You home?” The only response was silence, and you shrugged before making your way to the kitchen for a snack. What you found waiting in return was a sight that made your slight disappointment ebb away and be replaced by equal parts confusion and joy.

You usually made dinner, it was almost an unspoken rule. You liked to do it when he came home from tours, although part of it was because you didn’t trust him with anything that wasn’t a microwave. So to step into a kitchen with actual warm food that smelled decent and didn’t look half-bad either, you knew something was up. Thudding from upstairs followed by stomping down the stairs revealed the perpetrator, and you turned to find Dean sliding on his socks into the kitchen. He wore a black blazer and a black tee shirt, tucking it into his jeans. He had a somewhat panicked look on as well that he hid for the most part. “Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be home so soon.”

“Hello to you too, Dean.” You hid a smirk and gave him a quick kiss. “What were you doing upstairs? Getting all fancy?” You gestured to his semi-formal attire.

“Sorta. Wanted to surprise ya.” He ran a hand back through his hair, though it did him almost no good if he was trying to slick it back. If anything it made his already messy hair more poofy. “Thought it’d be nice for once if we got a nice night together.” A flash of concern sparked in his eyes quickly. “Is that alright?”

“It’s more than enough, Dean, thank you.” Something about him seemed off, more than usual, so you gave him a reassuring smile and another, deeper kiss. “Let’s eat, I’m starving.”

He gave a returning smile. “Same. Who knew cooking was such hard work?”

-------

It wasn’t the worst meal you had ever had. That would’ve been the chili dogs you and a friend had eaten in high school that gave more than a little bit of indigestion. Dean tried his best, for sure, and the thought of that was incredibly endearing, considering his track record of romantic attempts. The pasta was maybe a little undercooked, and the chicken a little overcooked, but that he had tried so hard to make it memorable melted you more than a little bit.

“What do you think our chances of getting food poisoning are from this?” Dean gave a little joke, watching you eat.

“No, babe, it’s really good.” You tried to lie a little bit for his sake, but must have seen through it. He knew how to read you.

“Nah, it’s alright, we both know I shouldn’t be anywhere near a stove again, probably.” He kept his words and tone light as he scratched his head and looked at you. You were occupied with the taste of charred chicken in you mouth, but upon making eye contact his attention focused on his lap, hands hiding under the table. Fearing you had hurt him, you reached to him and squeezed his bicep in comfort. “Thank you, Dean, really. It was so sweet after the day I had.”

“Yeah, I knew you had been workin’ hard so I thought I’d do something nice for ya.” He cleared his throat and finally looked in your eyes, something unfamiliar to you in them. “I actually got ya somethin’.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to, Dean.”

“I sorta wanted to though. I thought you could get something outta it. Maybe you could wear it to a party or a wedding.” The way he said the last word caught your attention.

“A wedding?”

“Hopefully ours.”

You stared in shock, keeping your eyes on him as he took a breath, got up slowly and made his way over to kneel at your side.

“Look, I gotta say…um…you make me…shit, sorry. I had this all planned.” He took another breath. The only time you saw him get worked up like this was when he was going into a match, and you couldn’t even reply as you watched him.

“You’ve been with me for practically forever; through my problems, and my…past, and you’ve never steered me wrong, not once. But, I wanna be there for your challenges and problems, and take care of you the way you took care of me. I love you and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. So, with that said,” he fumbled in his pocket for a bit before pulling out a beautiful ring.

You gasped and your hands flew to your mouth in shock, disbelief and joy and love flowing through your body.

“Y/N L/N, will you make me the happiest and most grateful guy in the world and marry me?”

He looked almost afraid but there were tears in your eyes as you nodded rapidly, grinning from ear to ear. “Yes, yes, yes! I’d be honored.” You held your hand out shakily and he held back the tremor in his own hands as he slipped it on.

“Thank you.” Dean whispered before he surged forward, capturing your lips in a grateful, loving kiss. His hands cupped your face and yours returned the gesture. It was a passionate, electric, joyous kiss, but it was slow, unhurried, not rushed in the slightest. Tears streamed down and they mingled with the kiss, making it a bit salty. You both broke away and started giggling for no reason at the tears. You had a few and tried to wipe them away to no avail as they poured.

“You look like Niagara Falls.” Dean smiled and his thumb brushed away a few tears, but his face had suspicious track marks running down it, eyes shining.

“Shut up.” You smiled and held his hands, both of you grinning like idiots and staring at each other. “How about we go celebrate our first night engaged?”

“No need to ask.” He swept you up into another kiss and into his arms.

-------

The aftermath of sex was always filled with cuddles-though Dean would deny such a word-and soft kisses that made you melt if you both hadn’t fallen asleep after. Tonight was no exception, but there was a certain exuberance that went along with the afterglow.

“It really is beautiful, Dean.” You murmured, curled in his arms.

“The ring? Good. I’m glad you like it. I had no clue what kind of ring you would like. Who knew there were so many different types in one store?”

At the tone in his voice and the picture his words brought, you giggled. You imagined Dean in the middle of a high class jewelry store, looking confused as hell and probably homeless. “I would’ve been happy with any kind of ring, to be honest.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, it could’ve been a Ring-Pop and I would’ve said yes.” You smiled up at him and  saw his face had the same expression from earlier; a little anxious and confused. “What’s the matter?”

“I dunno. I just guess I wasn’t expecting you to be on board with this, much less say yes.”

“Dean, that’s ridiculous. Why wouldn’t I say yes?” You grabbed his hand and stroked the knuckles, a small gesture that seemed to calm him down a bit. He didn’t need to answer because you could see it in his face.

It was no secret to those close to him that Dean wasn’t the most sure person on the planet about himself. His past, his scars-mentally and physically-, his abandonment issues, they always made him feel like he was less than he was. He had confided in you your first night together, wanting you to totally understand who and what he was. It hadn’t mattered then, or any other time, and you let him know that often.

“When you love someone you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then.” His eyes lit up in that way they always did when you said love.

“I love you too, Y/N. So much. I couldn’t even tell you how much.” His lips went down and captured in another emotional kiss.

That was how the rest of the night went; alternating between tender sex, making out, and an active avoidance of the dishes in the kitchen. The only time you ever saw another ring as beautiful as the one that night was one seven months later, standing at the altar and watching another get slipped on your finger.

“Last chance to back out, Mrs. Ambrose.” You stifled a grin at the whisper.

“Nope. You’re stuck with me, Mr. Ambrose. I’m in this for life.”

“Lucky me.” And you knew he meant it in the best way possible.

  ———————————————–

The second request I found ridiculously endearing: “Dean tries to set up a special night with the reader for something important. Empahasis on tries.” I had to put it in somehow. 

I seem to have a serious penchant for fluffy hurt/comfort fics. Must look into this further.

I hope you enjoyed! Please leave comments, feedback, anything! I’d be more than happy to hear it! Requests are open, so feel free to leave something. Thank you for reading! *Bayley hugs*