#i know they wanted her to be the madonna of the series and act as a heterosexual mother figure

[romana-after-dark]

Room's on Fire: Girl on Fire

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist

Spotify playlist

Summery: Everyone is together, everything is complete.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.

WARNINGS HAVE BEEN UPDATED!!!

Extra warnings for chapter: Pregnancy, breeding kink, violent sex, domestic violence on a man, gunshots, references to murder,, death, torture, all the horrors. The end was disturbing even to me, so read with caution. If you find the end was too much, just ask me what happens and I'll tell you. not super plot important but like it was pointed out, the sex is how we see dynamic shifts. Mentions of mpreg fantesy but no mpreg will happen bc they arent actually god, just insane.

3.7k words

A/N: Some pov shifts. Madonna, Jonah, Rey, Santi all get POV's.

A.N2: context for song quote, Alicia wrote girl on fire after the birth of her son.

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"She's on top of the world Hottest of the hottest girls say Oh, we got our feet on the ground And we're burning it down Oh, got our head in the clouds And we're not coming down This girl is on fire" ~ Girl On Fire, Alicia Keys

“It’s okay, you’re gonna do great.” Rey assured her, sitting on a table in the dressing room despite a chair being right there. His lanky legs liked to dangle, you noticed, or sometimes perch up in high places. He reminded you of a bird sometimes, lithe and graceful and seemed to float on his feet.

“What if they don’t like me? What if something happens? What if there’s another uprising or someone wants revenge on me because of my dad-”

“The people love you, and they were going to love you even more with this announcement. Jonah’s not going to let anything happen to you, you know that.”

Your face grows warm at the mention of Jonah. He had acted distant with you since the instance of Frankie and you on the horse, and wouldn’t let you see his face when he showed up the next morning with bruises. In fact, you’d hardly seen him at all. Rey was your primary guard, and Will had talked about moving your room to one with an attached room for Reyansh so that he could stay with you at all times. It seemed everyone knew Iris and Rey were an item, or at least they understood Reyansh was not a threat. You had begged Will not to switch around rooms. The reason given was that you liked your room, but really, you were hoping that you’d be moved into a room with one of your husbands. You weren’t visited by the incubus the night they all slept in your room.

Still, Jonah looked out for you. Under your dress right now was his bulletproof vest. 

A knock on the door.

“Come in.” Iris called to the door, still working on your hair.

Will entered the room. “Are you ready, Madonna?”

Before you opened your mouth, Iris replied. “You could use her real name, you know.”

Will didn’t look at her, keeping his eyes on you. “Her name is irrelevant, her position is everything.” When he turns and sees Reyansh, Will frowns. “What are you doing in here?”

Iris was quick to answer his unvoiced question. “He only came in after she was dressed.”

He instructs Reyansh to ready the carriage. Once he was out, Will turned to you with a smile. “You look stunning, Madonna.” Your heart swells with love for your handsome husband, dressed in his loose white shirt. In your hair, small white flowers adored you, carefully placed and worked in by Iris’s hands. She was incredible, making your dress too. It was colorful, with a color representing all four of your husbands. Under it, a bulletproof vest. No one in delta outside of guardsmen was allowed guns, but he wanted to be safe.

“Wow…” Will whispers, taking you in. There was just the slightest swell of a bump, you wondered if it was just weight gained from eating more these few months. Will took you into his arms kissing you deeply and feeling your stomach. Iris mumbles close enough as you’re pulled away. He turns back to her only a moment. “Make sure everything is ready when we’re back, please.”

Iris sighs, “It always is, Mr. Miller.”

*

Jonah cocked his gun. “Same as last time, honey. Anything happens, you come with me. Those guys can handle themself. I get hurt, do not stop for me. Just run. Someone will come find you, you just keep yourself alive, got it?” His brown eyes were on you for the first time in a long time, and you relaxed. Jonah’s eyes always calm you. It’s scary, knowing you were responsible for not just you, but someone else as well. The priestess stood at the balcony to the side, your husbands flanking you. Pope to your right, Francisco to your left, Ben to his left and Will to Popes right. Just as you were married.

“Men! Women! Children of Delta!” She shouts to the crown. “I present your Gods and your Madonna!” The crowd erupts into screams, and your heart fills with love for your people. “And!” A hush falls over the ground, waiting breaths quiet as they wait for the news. “I present to you, THE SAVIOR!”

The sound was deafening, a noise that shocked you and made you stumble back. To your surprise, Pope was behind you. It was a greater surprise when he rucked up your skirt.

Immediately your hands, out of instinct, go to bring the material down but his fingers quickly dig into your skin, warning you to behave. So, you stand there, humiliated, left hand gripping Francisco’s tighter. Pope loved you, he loved you and he’d never do something just to humiliate you! How stupid of you for feeling that way. This child was long prayed for, they and your body belonged to your husbands, belonged to Delta. Pope lifted your dress over the small bump,exposing your underwear to the crown. No one outside of your husband, a few house motherns and prefects had seen you in your underwear, so this was difficult…

But then Pope kissed your neck, and the worries melted away. Will, Francisco and Ben come to you, each placing a hand on your stomach as the priestess shouts, reaffirming that the savior’s parentage was of all four, that each of your husbands fathered this baby. You were called the vessel for their seed.

Then, you were placed on a tour. On a sitting carriage with all 4 of your husbands, you were paraded around to cheering people, the faces of women from your dormitory and even your room recognizable in the crowds. One woman whose bed was next to yours shot you a deadly glare as you passed by. She was mean, frequently detailing her escapades with Ben and throwing your own lack of attention in your face, but who was laughing now? Ben choose her for a short term fuck. You had a greater purpose.

When you reached the mansion again, the gates were crowded with people reaching out for you, and although there was fear as the mass of the crowd grew, there was also power. The savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned lay in your holy womb, you were the bringer of life. YOU were the divine mother.

The gunshot brought you back to reality.

*

“WILL!” You scream as your husband is shot backwards, stumbling into his brother’s arms who he shoved out of the way of the bullet. Jonah didn’t care about Will, however. He didn’t care about Ben falling at him brothers side under the weight. He didn’t even care about Francisco scrambling to grab at Ben in the chaos, and he certainly didn’t care about Santiago dragging Frankie away.

He cared about, sobbing in his arms desperately trying to get to your fallen love. Jonah wrapped an arm around you and pulled you away into the riotous, scampering crowd. You needed to get away from the shooter. 

“NO!” You bawl loudly. Howling that he’s dying, that you need to be with him, but Jonah didn’t give a shit about that prick. He calls to Reyansh, who jumped out of the carriage the second the gun goes off. It was intentional, having Rey at the helm with him; only Rey would care enough about you out of all the guardsmen that Jonah could depend on him. Into the madness, you wouldn’t stop screaming and that rainbow dress of yours was not helping the situation. 

“Rey! The tunic!” Jonah had to spin you around to disorient you enough to make you stop fighting in your hysteria, forcing your arms up while Rey slid a long, brown standard tunic over your body, making you blend into the neutral tones on the crown. Jonah clamped down over your mouth and pulled you away as the center of the shooting grew further away, Reynash covering you both. Once at the posting for a guard, Rey held you as Jonah mounted the steed and pulled you up, riding off with you.

*

You hadn't stopped sobbing for hours. Reyansh watched in concern, wanted so badly to comfort you lest the heaving and thrashing harm the baby or yourself. Rey loved children, he couldn’t wait for a day he could take Iris away and raise a family together, to finally be with her intimately and live a life with her. 

Even if children weren’t in the picture (Iris wanted one in theory, but was hesitant to bring one into this world, understandably.) he’d cherish a life growing old with his lover. Maybe they’d some orphaned child; Iris had a soft spot for children in need. Her maternal instincts are why, despite not wanting to be friends or even really know her, Iris took care of the girl. Iris had ten years on the naive child. Continuously, she had warned him about keeping his distance, not raising suspicion that anything was happening between him and the girl, but it wasn’t his fault she was damn delightful. However, despite her obvious beauty, talents and sweet demeanor, nothing compared to Iris.

Reyansh could wax poetry about her all day long, and often did. He barely had any free time, most of the pockets of time he had, Rey liked to help Iris with her Herculean tasks, the laundry and dishes like Sisyphus and the boulder. He couldn’t take away the fact the next day would be filled with more dishes, more wall washing, more cooking, but he’d gladly sacrifice an hour of sleep so she could gain one. With him at all times, however, was his notebook and pen. As he sat at a mount or perch Rey liked to try his hand at poetry and writing. 

Sometimes it was about the beauty of nature, the flowers he planted and gardens he kept, how they gave him joy during difficult times. Sometimes it was about the complex nature of family, of Iris and Jonah, Santiago and what he knew of Beatriz, which wasn’t much, the strained love and hatred between Will and Ben, or his own desire for fatherhood. Sometimes he wrote about the 5 lovers, the girl, the men who claimed to be gods, how each individual relationship strengthened them and weakened them in their own ways and how the girl changed things for better or for worse. Mostly, he just wrote about Iris, the prettiest flower he had.

He caught a glimpse of Jonah at the window, motioning him to come out. This safe house was his idea. Apparently, he and Marcus used to escape here sometimes.

Rey tries to tell you he’s stepping outside but you aren’t listening, curled up in a ball on the bed sobbing. He makes his exit.

Once outside, Jonah offers him a sip from his flask but Rey declines.

“I was going to ask how she is, but I can hear my answer.” The sound of you wailing penetrates the walls.

“How Will?”

“He’ll live, unfortunately.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” Jonah sighs, lighting a cigarette. “Wish those fuckers would just die.”

There was a long pause, Reyansh thinking hard before saying what he was thinking. He didn’t defy or talk back to Jonah, he respected him as his superior and, for all intents and purposes, his father in law. But Jonah was flawed. “You’re the one with a gun, Jonah”

Jonah inhaled a long drag before answering in a puff of smoke. “We’ve been over this.” He walked into the safe house.

They had talked, several times. Rey wanted Iris out but he didn’t have much power and knowledge. Jonah had the gun and a hundred reasons not to. There was no way to kill all 4 because everyone was armed. The community would riot. There was no where safe to go. A failed attempted would end Iris’s life. All these may be true, Jonah did have 4 decades of guard experience… but really, Rey thought he was just a coward, and maybe he cared for Pope and/or Francisco more than he’d like to admit. He’d been with those two since infancy, helped raise them, been a father figure most of their lives… it was understandable.

When he walked into the house, it was to crying but this time, relieved. He must have told her Will would be okay. You had your arms wrapped around his neck and he held you close to him, rubbing your back.

“It’s gonna be okay, honey, everyone’s gonna be just fine.”

*

Ben was changing Will’s bandages when you walked in and it made you nauseous to see the blood. Jonah said the bullet went straight through, that he’d be okay he just needed to rest, but the sight was disturbing.

Will groans. “Baby, don’t want you seeing me like this.”

Benny flicks his brothers arm. “Let her be, she was worried about you.”

The older Miller grumbled, but allowed you to kneel his side. He thumbed away a tear, “Don’t cry for me, beautiful girl.”

“What happened?” You sniffle, looking between Benny and Will.

“A girl from the dorms, she took the gun off a guard and tried to shoot-”

Ben interrupted. “You, Madonna.” He looked to his brother. “Melody, your old roommate, she tried to shoot you out of jealousy, she wanted to be with me. Will pushed you aside, took the bullet.”

You blink at that. Melondy wanted to shoot you? She wanted you dead? And Will. was he even standing by you? “But… I don’t remember being pushed.”

“Oh sweet girl…” Will cood. “Do you not remember? Poor thing, it was probably so traumatic-”

“No, I remember-”

“Your brain probably blocked a lot of it out, repressed it to protect you.”

Yeah, yeah that made sense. Memory was fragile. Will winced and Ben finished cleaning him and you took his hand as a new packing kit was applied. “Thank you for saving me…” You kiss his hand, feeling the rough knuckles warm skin. “For saving our baby…”

You fell asleep beside him that night, laying on his chest. He was warm, firm, inviting and protective. Nothing mattered more than the fact your husbands and your baby were safe.

Melody was dead. After the first shot missed, she approached where the four men had gathered intent on finding you, but Ben said Pope shot her square in the forehead, that he protected you while Jonah and Reyansh took you to safety. Ben said he had stood in front of his brothers and you, fearless, brave and bold. Pope loved his people, but he loved you most of all.

When you awoke, it was lae evening and although you wanted to go back to sleep, after some tossing and turning you realized you could. Not wanting to wake Will, you check his pulse and breathing, both strong and head out of the room to see if anyone is up. You know they dont like you wandering around the mansion without protection but you weren’t a child.

After Jonah and Rey had taken you back home, you were desperate to see William, but Pope demanded your presence with Francisco, both holding you tightly and checking you over again and again, tell you how precious you were, how loved. Pope knelt in front of you, hands on your belly, kissing it. You were thankful to have such loving and protective husbands. Despite the horrors of today, you felt blessed beyond measure 

You came to the kitchen first seeing a light on. Sometimes Benny liked late night snacks. Instead, you see Iris and Reyansh slow dancing in the kitchen. Iris was actually smiling. No doubt Rey was fearful of his own women’s safety being forced in the cabin with you for so long after a riot broke out right outside where she was. Silent, you step away from the cute lovers and allow them their time. Rey helped save your life today, you needed to thank him, and thank Iris for all she did for your family, you were lucky to have them both.

You try to see if Pope is awake next. When you approach his room, the grunting sounds make you stop, peaking through the slightly cracked door. Pope was on top of Francisco, fucking into his ass with his legs bent up into a press. It was a position he used on you many a time. Francisco was a puddle beneath him, his curls stuck to the sweat on his head. He looked incredible. The way Pope kissed him so deep… You couldn’t help feeling warm inside. How lucky you were that your husbands loved each other so much.

Ben was found in the gym. For a moment, you merely watch him. Shirtless in his red shorts and throwing punches at a punching bag. He probably had so much energy in him after everything today, watching his brother bleeding in his arms. She knew they didn’t always get along, Ben holding anger for Will so often and over what, you couldn’t yet discern. Maybe this tragedy would bring them back together. You admire his body, carved out and chiseled in perfect form. 

You loved the bodies of all your husbands, in each and every different.

Will was largess; tall, muscular, wide everywhere. Everywhere. His body consumed you just as yours consumed him; he was like a shield, metaphorically and now literally.

Santiago was softer. A small belly that was only noticeable when he was bent over, plush though and a moon shaped ass. He was all curves, from his nose down to his calved you had massaged so ardently.

If Pope was soft, Francisco was a pillow. Heavy weight surrounded him, the broad expanse of his shoulders to the fat at his waist and you just wanted to bury your face into it, you want to bite, nibble, and worship the pudge that spilled over his pants.

Ben was lean, the tallest of them and slim hips under rippling muscles. Golden God, beholden before you and it was as if his glory radiated off him. Despite the strength he was light on his feat. He could have been a boxer in another life.

“How are you feeling?” His deep voice breaks the tranfiction of the way his body moved, stilling the punching bag.

“I’m good, just woke from a nap with Will.”

Still looking away, Ben nodded. His mood matched the storm clouds out the window. After wiping his face, Benny chugged water and then finally made his way over to you in long, quick strides. His eyes flashed with the lightning outside.

*

Pope fucked Frankie with a fury he couldn’t recall in years. Frankie had defined him, ignoring his orders to leave but no, he wanted to stay with Ben. 

“You don’t think I wanted Ben and Will safe too?” He growled in his lovers ear. 

“I know!”

“You’re more important!”

He almost lost Will, Ben, the savior, and most importantly Frankie today. The girl would pay, fuck she’d pay. He couldn’t do anything Madonna might see, she thinks she’s dead already… no, a gunshot was to quick for someone trying to harm his family, but he’d make her suffer.

His anger toward Francisco wouldn't be helped when today, when he went to make love to Frankie, he found him in Ben's arms, cumming on his hand.

*

Ben had you pinned against the wall, fucking into you with your legs hitched around his narrow hips. The wind outside picked up speed, displaying his anger, his frustration, his love and his lust. You let him take you, fucking into your pregnant womb with his face tucked in your neck. You felt as if you were floating, like you were the center of the world right now. The sun God orbited you. Someone had tried to take you from him, a women he used to claim as his own but she had been cast aside for a reason. In her jealousy, she though she could regain her place at his side but that was foolish. Ben would never have loved her the way he loved you, the way he loved his husbands. Will, Francisco and Pope could never love her. 

She was not the Madonna.

She could never carry the savior.

She could only ever have a bastard.

*

“Gonna fill you up, Frank.” Pope grunted, breath hot against Francisco's cheek, mouth to mouth, lips to lips. “Gonna fill up this tight little hole of yours until you’re pregnant with my baby, you got that?”

Frank’s eyes went wide. “Santi, wha-” But he stopped when Santiago slapped him. This shocked Frankie, Santi didn’t slap him, he didn’t hurt him like that…

“Take it!” Santiago screams, tears of anger blurring his eyes. He chose Ben over him. He’d rather stay in danger with Ben than safety with him. “Your mine, under stand?!” When Frankie didn’t answer right away, Pope gripped his jaw and felt a warm tear fall down his cheek. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!”

*

Long fingers gripping your asscheeks, digging into the sensitive skin.

Firm abs rubbing against your body.

Hips stimulating your clit.

A finger fucking into your asshole. 

Everything was better than your wildest dreams. No incubus, a child on the way, friends and family. This was a life your father tried to take from you, but you were like gold that’s tested in fire.

Ben came inside when the thunder cracked, lightning still flashing and illuminating him with light. He muttered Francisco’s name.

*

“YES!” Francisco shouted in pain, face grimacing. “I’m yours! I’m yours Santi, fill me up! Make me-” He swallowed, tears forming at his long lashes. He gritted his teeth. “Make me p-pregnant!”  Francisco was saying anything that'd make Santi stuff, just to make him cum and end this. He just wanted it over. All of it. He didn't understand why he wasn't allow to be happy, to feel safe, to have peace. Instead he had to submit to Santi's whims just like Beatriz.

Santiago tucked his face into his lovedrsneck, biting him as he came inside. Whimpering, tears streaming wildly down his face, Santiago bit into Frankie’s tender flesh: neck, then shoulder, till finally he just continuously bit into the skin on his large arm, drawing the blood and bruising the skin. It hurt like hell, Frankie's head thrashing back and forth on the pillow trying to take the pain and bare it. Santiago's tears mixed with blood as he finished cumming, thrusts slowing into a lul.

Francisco didn’t know where his body ended and Santi’s began.

He wanted Ben, to be held and protected by him. To be touched gently, with love. To be not possessed but show off so that he knew Ben was proud of him, proud of what they had, not what the fuck Santigo was doing to him. He wanted Madonna with her sweet kisses and open adoration. He wanted Will with his healing nature, tender hands on his arching, bleeding arm. He wanted anything but Santi’s touch right now.

Santiago curled behind Francisco. His hand rested on Frankie’s stomach.

***********

This disturbed me writing the end asdfghjkl

Madonna crying Reminds me of tww bonus chapter where little one thinks joel is dead and is just ugly sobbing

Madonna has... a lot to process today, and absolutly no therapy and no one she can be honest with about what she's witnessing.

I hope you all enjoyed... or .... something....???

Thoughts on Santis episode, Benny having a fit because he wanted Frankie but had to take madonna, will being shot, madonna is pregant, rey's thoughts!!!!! Jonah protecting madonna, etc.

UUUHHHHH poll?

love you all dearly <3 I hope to get at least one more tf fic for the triple frontier anniverary evnt before the end, and maybe something else like a TWW bonus chapter i've been wanting, but no gurantees. next week is spring break and i have 10k worth of commissions to write so il be busy! I wanna get the last chapter of my handmaids tale au out though, end that baby <3

also if you havn't yet, consider following me on my main @romanarose because im like 20 followers away from 2k and once i do, ill be open to writing stuff for a celebration!

Please consider joining me in in donating to humanitarian aid in Rafah through Doctors Without Borders

LOVE YOU ALL!

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[kellyvela]

Having the CW be a "junior investor" in Joan was a colossal mistake. ITV did this in the hopes to make this show into multiple seasons and need outside funding to do so and look what's happened. Nonexistent promotion from the CW and it was moved to a diff day and time not even a week after it premiered.

While its great that Joan is doing well in the UK, the US is where the acting jobs are (esp ones that pay well) and the fact that not only do most Americans aren't even aware this show exits, those that do view this as a huge downgrade for Sophie going from a prestigious network/streamer to the CW.

Fingers crossed that "Haven" and "The Dreadful" are critical and box office hits.

When Joan was announced in November 2022, the cw wasn't even mentioned:

Since it was announced, Joan was described as a six-part drama, meaning it was a limited series. Limited series have a predetermined number of episodes. Limited series are not meant to continue.

I now Anna Symon talked in interviews about the possibility of Joan new adventures in an eventual second season, but it was during promotion so I think that was kinda hyping the show, it wasn't anything sure. Also the script is one big flaw that all the negative reviews mentioned, so maybe is better that she wont be writing Joan new adventures . . . .

---

As for the cw… It can't be that bad if their money made Joan real, right? This project has a long history of attempts to make it real, with Gwyneth Paltrow buying the rights to make a movie with her in the lead role, and at one point it was said that even Madonna wanted to play Joan.

The cw as an associated co-producer was announced on May 2023:

Their role was basically to broadcast the show in the United States.

And the cw entertainment chief Brad Schwartz sounded very excited about the project:

So I don't know what happen for them to do almost zero promotion and then moving the show from Wednesday to Friday.

But the decline of the cw is something that comes long before Joan, it's not Joan's fault or anything. That's one factor why most people in the US don't know about the show, in addition to the lack of promotion.

And it's not a downgrade for people well informed that know this is a British production from ITV. The CW are only the US distributors, basically. They did a terrible job tho.

Meanwhile Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Latin American distributors are doing a great job, as other UK platforms like BBC Player and STV. Even Apple TV did a better job . . . .

And regarding US audiences and Hollywood jobs, I think with Sophie's decision to move back to the UK also comes a decision to focus on British jobs and productions, like Haven and The Dreadful.

From her latest interviews and specially in that BBC podcast you can read between lines how done she is with the US.

Not saying she will never come back to work in Hollywood, but I think she needs the UK more right now.

And yes, we all hope that "Haven" and "The Dreadful" are successful.

[saltygilmores]

A Really Really Old Interview with Milo From The Earliest Days of Gilmore Girls, TeenMag.Com

Name: Milo Anthony Ventimiglia

D.O.B.: July 8, 1977

Hometown: Milo was born in Anaheim, California, but he grew up in nearby Orange, CA.

How You Know Him: Most people recognize Milo from his role as Jed Perry on the short-lived but much-loved Fox TV show Opposite Sex. He's also appeared as a guest star on show's like C.S.I. and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Now, Milo has joined the cast of the terrific WB show Gilmore Girls as Luke's trouble-making nephew, Jess.

Taking the Plunge: Milo always wanted to be an actor, even when he was a little kid. "When I was eight, I was telling my parents, 'Hey, in twenty years, I'm gonna win an academy award,'" says Milo. "Then I really didn't dive into it until I was 18." When he was in high school, Milo was in plays, but he was too focused on playing sports?football, baseball and basketball?to think about getting into acting professionally. "Then, finally, when the opportunity came up as I got older, I was like, 'Wow, this is really something that I enjoy doing, and I think I could see a future career in it,'" explains Milo. "Plus, I'm not the best salesman, and I can't play guitar." What else was there for him to do?

First Paying Gig: The first professional paying job that Milo ever had was a small role on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. "I had one line," says Milo. "I walked down the stairs at some party Ashley was having because her parents were out of town. I have a girl on my arm, and I say, 'Relax Ash, we're just taking a little tour' and I laugh. It's a great glorious moment," he adds sarcastically.

Big Break: Besides that captivating bit part on Fresh Prince, Milo did a few commercials and appeared as a guest star on a few other TV shows. The public really started to take notice of Milo when he landed the role of Jed on Opposite Sex. This short-lived series earned Milo countless fans and some even made fan pages for him.

Becoming a Gilmore Guy: These days, Milo plays Jess, the new boy in Stars Hollow on Gilmore Girls. So far, we don't know that much about him. "He's kind of a mislead youth," says Milo. "He drinks. He smokes. He says rude things. He's kind of impolite. But, uh, he just doesn't want to be there." Jess is sent to live in Stars Hollow with his uncle, Luke, when he gets into trouble, and his mom just doesn't know what to do with him. Jess isn't just a typical bad boy though. "He's also really intelligent," says Milo. "So I think there's hope that he's going to turn out to be a good guy, or at least kind of he'll settle into his own in the town. He's always got a book in his back pocket." And guess who else is always carrying a book around: Rory.

Mystery Guy: Even Milo doesn't know that much about his Gilmore Girls character, Jess. The writers haven't told him where Jess was living before he came to Stars Hollow or even what his last name is. "I guess he's one of those Madonna characters," jokes Milo. We're guessing that both Milo and us Gilmore fans will be getting to know Jess a lot better in the coming months.

Good to be a Bad Boy: Milo admits that he's really having fun playing the bad boy role this time around. "I really enjoy it," he says. "I think, a lot of times, I kind of get stuck with the nice guy. The nice, indecisive guy who doesn't know how to make up his mind about anything. So, it's nice to just be the carefree, reckless youth." Plus, you get to do all those bad things without getting into any trouble. What a deal.

Sticking Around: There's been a lot of speculation about how long Jess will be a character on Gilmore Girls, so Milo wants to set the record straight. "I've got a two-year contract." says Milo. "I'm on for two years. It's kind of weird* My mom is so funny. Gilmore Girls is her favorite show, and so she goes on the web sites and spoiler boards and everything. In some places it says, 'Oh he's only a guest recurring,' and in other places it says that I'm only in two episodes," says Milo. "But no, I've got a two-year contract." So, go ahead and get attached to him girls. He's gonna be around a while.

Making Trouble: Of course, the news that Jess will be on Gilmore Girls for two years may upset some of the hardcore Rory and Dean fans out there. The rumors are flying that Jess is going to come in and break up that adorable couple. Milo isn't really saying what's going to happen. "Yeah, I definitely raise hell," he admits. "In episode number eight, which we just finished, I meet Dean for the first time. It was interesting. It was very quick but it was cool." Jess has already caused one fight between Lorelai and Luke, and it looks like he's just going to keep shaking things up in the sleepy town of Stars Hollow.

Movie Editing: If you look up Milo's movie credits, it looks like he's been in quite a few flicks, but it turns out, the poor guy has been edited out of most of them. For instance, in She's All That most of Milo's scenes got chopped. "It makes me laugh. My part was so miniscule," says Milo. "You see me walk in a door, and, right before I'm about to talk, they cut. So there's that. And then there's a whole following scene with myself and Kirin Culkin [that got cut], and then there's another scene in the movie that was totally cut. So, I kind of laugh when people are like, 'Oh, Milo Ventimiglia, She's All That,' and then they name something else, and I'm like, 'I wasn't really in those movies.'" There are a few movies that Milo managed to stay in, including one called Sheer Bliss, which hasn't been released yet. "I couldn't get cut out of that," says Milo. "I was the lead role." Sheer Bliss is about four guys who graduate from college and decide to try to figure out what the heck the want to do with their live. Check out the official website at www.sheerbliss.com.

Car Guy: Something else Milo is really into, besides acting, is cars. "I'm kind of a motorhead," he admits. "I'm a Chevy guy. I've got two Chevys." In fact, Milo was excited to learn that the teenmag.com shares a building with big name car magazines like Hot Rod and, even better for him, Super Chevy. He even wanted to stop by so we could take him to the car magazine floors and show him around. Milo said he'd call to set up a time to drop by. We're still waiting* (sigh.)

What's That In His Pocket?: Just like his Gilmore Girls character, Milo has always got a book with him. During down time on set, he's usually just sitting back reading a book. Currently, he's reading the Richard Bachman (aka Steven King) book The Long Walk.

Manly Movies: Milo's movie collection has got a lot of classic guy flicks in it. He's got The Godfather DVD collection, Goodfellas, Blow and The Matrix. But Milo's also into some old classics like movies starring James Dean and Marlon Brando. "I kind of dig all that old stuff," says Milo. Milo says that he really likes movies with good character development. He prefers movies "where it's not superficial. You have to kind of see what's going on in the mind of the character, to see their thought process without them giving it away or handing it to you on a plate." So he's a thinking guy. How cool!

Milo's Music: Like most people, Milo has a pretty eclectic music taste. "I listen to a lot of hip hop, and right now I'm stoked on a band called The Strokes," says Milo. "I was up at like five in the morning last week, just doing a bunch of stuff, and then I ended up just crashing on my couch and turning on the TV. I was falling asleep, and I heard the song and saw the band, and I was like, 'Who the hell are these guys?' I went and bought the CD, and I just haven't taken it out of my player yet. Then also like a lot of Deftones, and a lot of Orange County punk that I grew up with."

That's all for Milo. Don't forget to check him out on Gilmore Girls every Tuesday night at 8pm EST/PST on the WB.

[possessionisamyth]

Got me thinking of Claire in ID again, and like, girl is going through it. Her TerraSave work lands her in a war torn country to offer aid and relief for what appears to be regular US occupation bullshit, so she's really just doing her job when she shows up in D.C. She's not looking for bioweapon conspiracy nonsense. She's strictly trying to hold politicians accountable for the promises they made, and it devolves.

Suddenly, she notices a gap in information. A gap so many people overlooked, but it's connected to her work. It's connected to her trying to figure out why the help her NGO was promised to do good went from a flood to a trickle in such a little amount of time. So she investigates. She looks for the truth, but the deeper she dives the uglier things get.

On one hand, after Raccoon City she expects the worst out of her government. That's why she didn't start working for a federal office of some kind. She has no faith in the systems that cause her job to be necessary in the first place. On the other hand, how was she supposed to know a series of suicides from one retired military squad would lead to a whole facility of bioweapons ready to be deployed to China? This is like going from "hey, wonder why my dog buries things in the yard" only to catch said dog digging them up to use them as currency in a casino and not only is the alternative currency is accepted but it has been accepted for the past 5 years. Literally no one would make this connection from point A to point B! She figured out there was a cover-up, but she was probably expecting stolen funds or the standard human levels of corruption she's growing more familiar with by the day thanks to her career. This though? A whole different level of fucked up.

Plus, she learns the rest of the conspiracy after getting kidnapped from her hotel room! And then she's threatened to being turned into a tool whether or not she decides to cooperate! No one knew where she was, so she wasn't expecting to be saved. Anything she thought of, she'd have to act quickly or deal with horrible consequences. It's extremely lucky Leon showed up when he did, but she wasn't waiting for it nor expecting it. Not to mention Claire is the type to put on a brave face because she thinks she has to not because she wants to.

The split second recovery of helping Leon from the control room after she was out of the acid was instinct. Reflex. She didn't know where the lab was located, but she should've been looking for a way out to call someone. Her job itself means there has to be someone she knew she could call to work down the grapevine and get this situation handled, but Claire isn't passive even when the narrative tries to force her to be. So she sticks around and helps.

And at the end where her research and another near death experience has led her to tangible evidence, it's taken away by someone she thought she could trust. Adding insult to injury, she has to go back to work like nothing happened because all the evidence she did compile was circumstantial. It wouldn't hold up in court, and the farthest it'd get news wise is on a tabloid next to the cover headline of "Big Foot Marries Madonna!".

I don't know if it's disrespectful or disheartening or heartbreaking, but I do know it fucking sucks ass. Imagine going through all that and stepping right back into work the next day with a "sick" excuse for missing calls. Imagine remembering the look on your "friend's" face as you walk away knowing he still views you like a child who needs to be protected. Imagine having to add this shitty experience to compartmentalize with all the other trauma you went through that you couldn't talk about with anyone in order to have some semblance of a normal life. I feel so awful for her.

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: June 2, 2023

Lyrics:

I've seen the devil

Down Sunset

In every place

In every face

Yeah, uh, uh

Yeah, uh, uh

Tell me, do you see her? (Yeah) she's livin' her life (uh)

Even if she acts like she don't want the limelight (uh, yeah, uh)

But if you knew her (yeah), she lives a lie

She calls the paparazzi, then she acts surprised, oh

Oh, I know what she needs (oh)

She just want the fame, I know what she fiends (oh)

Give her a little taste, runnin' back to me, uh (oh)

Put it in her veins, pray her soul to keep, ooh, ooh

Every night (every night, uh), she prays to the sky

Flashin' lights is all she ever wanted (yeah)

Beggin' on her knees to be popular

That's her dream, to be popular (hey)

Kill anyone to be popular (hm)

Sell her soul to be popular

Popular, just to be popular (uh-huh)

Everybody scream 'cause she popular (hey)

She mainstream 'cause she popular

Never be free 'cause she popular

Money on top of me, money on top of her (uh-huh)

Money on top of me, money on top of her (uh-huh)

Yuh, shawty - with me 'cause she know I'm popular (uh-uh)

Yuh, shawty - with me 'cause she know I'm popular

I know that you see me (huh), time's gone by

Spend my whole life runnin' from your flashin' lights

Try to own it (uh), but I'm alright (yuh)

You can't take my soul without a - fight (uh, oh)

Oh, I know what she needs (oh)

She just want the fame, I know what she fiends (oh)

Give her a little taste, runnin' back to me (oh)

Put it in her veins, pray her soul to keep, ooh (uh)

Ooh, every night (every night), she prays to the sky (oh)

Flashin' lights is all she ever wants to see (yuh)

Beggin' on her knees to be popular (uh)

That's her dream, to be popular (hey)

Kill anyone to be popular (hm)

Sell her soul to be popular

Popular, just to be popular (uh-huh)

Everybody scream 'cause she popular (hey)

She mainstream 'cause she popular

Never be free 'cause she popular

Money on top of me, money on top of her (uh-huh)

Money on top of me, money on top of her (uh-huh)

Yuh, shawty - with me 'cause she know I'm popular (uh)

Yuh, shawty - with me 'cause she know I'm popular (uh)

Money on top of me, money on top of her (uh-huh)

Money on top of me, money on top of her (uh-huh)

Yuh, shawty - with me 'cause she know I'm popular (uh-huh)

Yuh, shawty - with me 'cause she know I'm popular

Eat me and money, I'ma keepin' it

I'm gettin' can and I'm kickin' it

Money on top of me, money on top of her

Yuh, shawty - with me 'cause she know I'm popular

Pop-popular, born to be popular

She in debt, 20 mill', but she run it up

She can never be broke 'cause she popular

Turn the webcam on for the followers

beggin' on her knees to be popular

That's her dream, to be popular (hey)

Kill anyone to be popular

Sell her soul to be popular

Songwriter:

Popular, just to be popular (uh-huh)

Everybody scream 'cause she popular (hey)

She mainstream 'cause she popular

Never be free 'cause she popular

Mike Dean / Johnny Flippin / Abel Tesfaye / Leland Tyler Wayne / Jordan Terrell Carter / Michael John Walker / Sam Levinson

SongFacts:

👉📖

Homepage:

The Weeknd

Madonna

[mehworld]

Spoilers ahead! So here I am 4 episodes into Amazon’s A League of Their Own series. And I have thoughts. With the death and dearth of lesbian/queer women content on main stream prime time, A League and even the Sandman give me hope. In case you’re wondering whether it’s worth watching and supporting here is my list. Again remember I’m only 4 episodes in:

Pros:

- queer content. We all need more of that. Both white and black queer women content.

- D’arcy Carden is a gem.

- The show is fun and runs through many of the movie moments like the tryouts, the etiquette school, and women finding empowerment in themselves and others.

- Abbi Jacobson isn’t too bad either.

- did I mention there is kissing in the first episode?! The first!!

- the underlying stories, especially Max’s story is so compelling. I could watch Chanté Adam’s act in her own one woman show.

Cons:

- it’s not original. There were many teams in the women’s all American League that they could have picked to follow instead of the Rockford peaches. So many stories and different locations. Such a waste.

- because it follows the peaches, I can’t help but compare it to the movie and find it wanting. I can’t help comparing Jo to Rosie O’Donnell’s character, Greta to Madonna’s character and Carson to Geena’s. No offense to Abbi, but she is no Geena Davis.

- the trailer and the images used to advertise the show clearly put the black actresses on equal footing as the white ones. Instead it feels like two shows. I assume their stories will merge at some point but who knows.

- to that point, they could have followed the story of the first black women in the womens league. That would have been a refreshing angle.

- time appropriate sexism, racism, homophobia

- the music doesn’t fit the time period always

- the dialogue and characteristics/slang etc doesn’t fit the time period

- there is some threats to out an character. Big no no. Not sure how that will play out.

Overall: B for the effort and love that went into it. A for the acting. Overall, B+. Worth watching. First, it’s good to support queer content made by queer women. Congrats Abbi on her engagement. Second, it’s a good show despite the cons. The newcomer actors are amazing. Third, atleast half of each episode is focused on the characters of colors. Fourth, omg the kisses. The sex scene. I never thought D’Arcy Carden could be hotter than she was in the Good Place.

P.S. episode 6. Woof. Needs a trigger warning for the end.

Update! I finished the series. My rating doesn’t change. I did love the show. I think Abbi wasn’t the perfect casting for Carson, but she did her best. I really could watch a series just about Max’s story. I think what I overlooked was just how gay this series was/is. It is really gay. Like women’s softball gay. Like Rosie O’Donnell gay. Like make out with you on the side of a house gay. And that’s a beautiful thing.

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Furuba S3 - Episode 9 - Thought Post - SPOILERS!

This episode was so well made and well put together!! Probably my favorite of the season so far. The voice acting, both sub and dub, were stunning, and I think they did an excellent job of portraying both Akito’s feeling of loneliness/being above everyone (and therefore not with everyone), and Tohru’s own ability to relate to Akito’s struggles and understand her. I cried numerous times in this episode when watching both the sub and the dub. The two moments that got me each time where:

This moment (technically from the moment we see Akito sitting by herself).

And this one

Reeling things back for a moment and going in a more chronological order:

1. Akito talking about Tohru "winning." This mentality that Akito shows is understandable for her, given the environment she was brought up in. Her mother viewed her as competition, so Akito was brought up to view other women as competition as well. But, not only that, this mentality of Tohru "beating" or "winning" over Akito is something I've seen pop up quite often with a lot of anime only and new watchers. Especially over on the r/anime discussions. It's interesting because this line of thinking is so completely opposite of the message that Fruits Basket is trying to give. But, I do think that it is a mindset and way of looking at this situation that a lot of people would jump too. Especially because, in real life and in media, women are often made to oppose each other, right.

Like think of that awful trope where a guy cheats and the woman, instead of getting angry at the guy, gets angry at the other woman instead and they start fighting each other. Women and female characters are brought up in a society that often wants them to be at odds with each other, instead of working together and understanding each other.

Akito was brought up in an extreme form of that environment, while Tohru was brought up in one where her mother had to rely on Tohru and they had to work together in order to get by (due to her being a single mother). That also influenced Tohru's friend group, which ended up consisting of many female friends (Uo and Hana, then later Kagura, Kisa, and Rin). Meanwhile, Akito pushed other women and girls away, and instead tried to strengthen her bonds with the male characters in the series. Akito and Tohru not only make for an interesting take on the whole "Madonna-Whore Complex," but also on the "Not Like Other Girls" and "Other Girls" Complex that a lot of teen girls and young adult women struggle with too. I like how Takaya basically went "Screw that!" to the idea that these types of characters need to be against each other, instead of working together with each other.

(Though, as a side note, I freak out every time Tohru takes a step towards Akito here. I know how it all plays out, but every time I’m just like, “TOHRU, SHE HAS A KNIFE!”)

2. The Shigure and Yuki scene got a good laugh out of me. Shigure's comment on Akito's stabbing spree and his whole exchange with Hatori got me too.

3. Kyo's face here! T0T

4. I LOVED this addition!

If I'm not mistaken this whole scene is anime only. In the manga, in Chapter 122, we see that image of Kyo walking ahead and then of Kyo and Tohru walking side by side, but the inclusion of Tohru walking away from Kyoko towards Kyo and aging up from JHS to HS was beautiful. It made the scene extra touching. I also like how Tohru thinks that Kyo should keep walking forward, even if she isn't by his side. That is such a good and healthy mindset to have in a relationship. Kyo won't always be able to lean on her, he has to be able to walk strong on his own too.

5. Someone on r/anime noted that Yuki found Tohru first, which works as a parallel to the hat situation all over again. I think the thing I like most about this moment though, is that both Yuki and Kyo obviously prioritize Tohru and her condition over their feelings and issues. They've done it before. But it is always nice to see.

6. The inside of Momiji's room!! It's interesting how he has a lot of rabbit plushies, it reminds me of Kagura's room. But unlike Kagura's room, which was filled with cat plushies (aka not her zodiac spirit), Momiji's is filled with plushies of his zodiac spirit. It shows how Momiji was always comfortable with his zodiac sign, how he embraced it, though possibly also as a coping method like Kagura tried to do with cats and Kyo. It's nice to see that Momiji still kept them after his Curse broke though.

7. Last thing to note: both Kureno and Tohru are prevented from further enabling people that they care about (Kureno -> Akito, Tohru -> Kyo) by being injured and not able to run after them. We know that they both wanted to, but both Akito and Kyo need to do these parts on their own a bit, or with the help of other people that won't enable them as much.

I'm really, really interested in seeing how they will handle next week's episode. The wait for the preview images will be a long one. -0-

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Okay so this show shocked me in the best way possible. There’s so much I could talk about, but what hit me the hardest was the total subversion of the “cool guy” trope. You know the one. The one that’s supposed to stand for the modern action hero, a “tough guy with quirky-fun hobby” character we’re used to on Netflix and every other platform. He’s usually white, somehow knowledgeable on a ton of things, and comfortably wears both suits and flannel with jeans. He only drinks beer (unless his quirky hobby is cocktails). The guy that is actually kinda toxic if you look closely, the guy other guys want to be who half-hugs a comic relief character then punches them or insults their emotions with a homophobic/sexist one-liner, who treats women in his life as minor characters locked into the Madonna/whore dichotomy.

The kind that ultimately has little to no character development throughout the story, that we keep resuscitating in modern media under various insidious guises, to everyone’s detriment.

That is why I’m celebrating, because The Brothers Sun is what you get when you leave tired tropes like that behind. Something fresh and worth watching. There are a ton of fantastic performances in this series with various depictions of masculinity that I could discuss, but the character of Charles Sun is a revelation, and the actor Justin Chien carries it off beautifully.

In short? He broke my heart a little. He’s cool, sure, and a badass, but incredibly real and human. Here’s a guy who grew up in a male-dominated, violent world where he was treated like a weapon. We see in his interactions with his father and the Wang bros that he has learned a part, Chairleg Sun, that makes everyone around him happy. The only time that he’s happy after, say, the age of fourteen, was when he breaks a hip at sixteen doing god knows what, and gets introduced to baking by an elderly woman. He only watches his baking and soap opera shows when he’s alone, and is quiet about tidying up after people. He’s awkward and embarrassed by his own domesticity.

And then his seemingly indomitable father gets shot, and the unstoppable assassin cool guy Charles is sent to LA, where his mother and brother, neither of whom he’s seen since his early teens, are living. So Charles initially struggles mightily, because he’s in an environment where only a few people have knowledge or expectations of him. We get some of the cool guy toxic behavior and language, even outside of the violent fight scenes (if you can’t handle gore, this show is not for you). But there’s his mother, who despite her words clearly softens around him, and his younger brother Bruce, who only has pleasant, sentimental memories of him.

And it’s because of Bruce that slowly, the real Charles blossoms—or rather, emerges from hiding. His brother treats him like a person, which not even his mother does at first—and despite the anger and numbness that dominate his life, the early impression of him that Bruce gets, Chien’s micro-expression acting shows us that this is someone who loves his family deeply, especially his little brother, and who survives the horror of his everyday life by believing the things he does protect his family.

The Charles we see here in the gifs above is undone. He’s so tired and confused, and emotionally strung out. He admits in this scene that he doesn’t even know who he is anymore. So it’s the episode where Bruce shines, by taking on Charles’ usual responsibility for his family’s protection, but refusing to give into the behaviors that he sees his brother has been taught. The character who has spent so much time being scared, whose protection has been prioritized throughout the series, is the one who models healthy masculinity for his brother and shows him love and protection. Despite being the supposed “idiot brother” Bruce is the only one to truly see Charles for who he is, and here he becomes the protector for a while, as Charles gets a break to just breathe and figure out what he really wants.

So that’s one of the biggest twists we get: the brothers Sun, who seem so different, are really similar deep down. Bruce Sun is constantly discussed as gentle and kind, “soft”, but as his father points out accurately in this episode, he has the potential to be ruthless and feral to protect his family just like Charles, except Charles never had a real choice and was raised with the idea of himself as a killer, not a soft human.

Charles Sun is, by the end of the show, still a cool, badass guy, still out there doing stuff. But he is so different from the shell of a cool guy we meet at first. He talks about his feelings now, and listens to other people. He decides that he will follow his baking dream eventually, even if he’s sidelining it for now. He bakes for his brother and hugs him tightly, he supports his mother’s dreams and respects that the woman he has feelings for is on a different path. Charles Sun is the guy I want people to think is a cool guy, a modern action hero, because he actually grows into his best self through love and caring rather than violence and vengeance.

“Neither of us are who our parents thought we were.”

[romana-after-dark]

"Can you peel my orange" with ROF boys.

There's a social media trend where you ask your boyfriend to peel an orange for you and see they react. Some are super cute, some the boyfriends are dicks.

I thought it would be a good way to explore a lot of fics and characters to see how they react vs others

This is for Rooms on Fire, my Triple Frontier cult fic, and will include the TF boys but also a few OC's

This will be as Madonna stands after chapter 3, where she's settled into a routine with Pope, Francisco, William and Benny, but also with Jonah, Reyansh and Iris that we will see more of in chapter 4

Relationships will change grow, become damaged and morph throughout the series so its not permanant canon.

Warnings: NSFW, implied sexual acts involving fruit...

Madonna

"Could you please peel my orange?"

Pope

Of course, baby." Pope smiles, beckoning you over to him. He pulls you onto his lap and your pretty dress spills all over his legs. With his arms wrapped around you, he peels the orange in front of your stomach. When all the peel was off, Pope slowly slides a middle finger into the hole of the orange, in and out, then two fingers before pulling a slice off and bringing it to your mouth.

William

It's after Will has fucked you into the mattress, filling you up and leaving you dripping on the bed. After several sessions, you were drenched and your core sopping, so Will decided it was time for a break. Grabbing you some fruit from the fruit bowl, he agrees to peel it for you, saying you should save your energy for more important things. After peeling it, he even takes out as man of the stringy white parts as he can in a reasonable time. After plopping a piece in your mouth, he asks how it tastes.

You smile at him, sweaty still and complete naked knelt before you. "Good, thank you." "Wanna know how it can taste even better?" He eyes his cum dripping out of your pussy with a hungry look in his eyes, taking apart another slice.

Ben

Ben is struggling to peel his own orange. You do not ask him.

Francisco

"No." *Peels Benny's orange*

Reyansh

"Sure" He pucks it out of your hands, prodding at it. He's not very good. In fact, by the time he gets a lead going on it there's orange juice on the table he's wiping up with his sleeve. It's just a little mangled by the time you get it back, but you smile sweetly at Reyansh and thank him. He grins back at you.

Jonah

Jonah holds out a hand and you toss the orange over. With his legs propped up and crossed on the table, Jonah easily catches it and wipes out his knife. He cuts off the peel and finishes peeling it for you and it back with a relaxed smile.

"I'm pretty good with a knife. If you toss me the apple, I can peel it all in one spiral."

Iris

"No." But she grabs it and makes the beginnings of a peal with her nails, giving you a starting point.

****************************

I'll be for fucking real, I just wanted content with Jonah using a knife....

If you have wanna see how any other characters in my series, dark or not, would react, just send an ask!

[noahstayed]

Sorry if you've already answered these questions but I still want to ask them so...

1) Are you going to make another book after Earthshine?

(If the answer is yes; (and you don't have to answer this one,) Are you going to do a time skip or will you go the 'the condom broke'?)

2) Will Edward have a mate (If yes; will you create an OC or simply pluck a character from the twilight saga archives are revamp them?)

3) If you do make a version of Breaking Dawn, will it have the same premise (Ie. Wedding, Honeymoon, (I typed hUMANmoon and then corrected it, don't know why my fingers went there.) surprise pregnancy (or not? Because Carlisle is a DOCTOR) turning, then the Volturi going all "We must kill the child!"?)

4) With regards to question three, in the (honestly, and sadly, unlikely) ( completely forgot what word I was going to type, and It as too much trouble to type that so I'm just going to use another word that won't flow as well) situation (I'm so unhappy with this word, my stomach is turning something fierce, man.) that you DO go the standard "with the other book as a very, very, loose guideline) Would you go the route of OYH or would make an entirely new plot?

Also, if you do go with the same general outline, (which is unlikely since Irina isn't with Laurant in newmoon but with Charlie, so there's no bitter feelings and she won't immediately go to the kings before she's heard Carlisle's explanation.) How would you make that work?

5) I know you said that if you do make a fourth book you would just use the dhampire from OYH, Elisha, does that still reign true? Or are you planning to make a new character entirely?

6) If you do make a fourth, and go the OYH route, would you still make Elisha Emse's mate, like in OYH? Or will you go with Garette?

7) Also, since you have previously made an ff about Garette and Bella having a brother-sister type friendship would we see that and get to see Garette claim her as his sister and charlie as his father, and everyone goes along with it? (Honestly, I REALLY want this to happen, especially since I've spent the last hour scrolling through your tumbler and stumbled upon the 'I'm older than my father' post.)

8) Really, all these questions border on the main one of "is there going to be a breaking dawn/part 4-5 (depending) in your rewrite?" but if you do, would Carlisle buy Isle Bella as a honeymoon present of would that be in the oneshots book (that you'll hopefully be writing after this is over) as like a "Have fifteenth anniversary" thing?

9) Are you going to write a book full of random one-shots you couldn't fit into your story? I REALLY HOPE SO.

enthusiastically hope so. :) (that's really a tense smile with eyes SHINING with hope. Just informing you that you'll be crushing my heart. Brutally. With a stake. No pressure :) )

10) If you don't write the fourth book will we get an epilogue with the wedding five years later? Like, with Bella being SUPER nervous?

And finally, 11) (I really want a war to showcase Bella's awesome vampire powers (because you've stated (in a previous Tumblr post) that you'd give Bella her BAMF!Bella OYH powers)) So if there's a part four, even though the Volturi is "lawful" and like, has a brain, in your series, can they like have a brain fart where they go. "He's making an army," Or just straight up CANNON!Aro with his need for power be like "It's an immortal child, and it needs to be destroyed." But really be thinking, "They're growing too large, already their numbers rival our own, they must be put down! This is the perfect time!" Like the (cowardly) power-hungry and villainess we all know and love. Kinda.

I have other questions but those can really wait lol.

I basically want breaking dawn and the third (Do you count Charlie's book as part of Bella's story or as a stand-alone since you weren't really progressing the plot very much (also a very good way to have a time skip in your main)?) isn't even done yet.

I don't know if you can tell, but I've been reading this series for three days straight (new fan!) and just started your OYH series and I'm just filled with a desire right now. Like, I typically hate sex scenes in a twilight book (but that's because I was a child when these movies came out (saw them all in theatre!) and still was when I read the books, so Bella is SACRED lol, and It just makes me uncomfortable to imagine her in those positions (it's like a trauma okay?) but I really enjoyed your stories (even if I basically glossed over your sex scenes and read through them quickly) and could actually sit through your sex scenes (mostly, because it wasn't INTENSE! Like, a lot of rewrites turn breaking dawn into literal Porn and sully the books for me because they basically remove a lot of plot to make room for Bella's sudden appetite, and while, yes, you gave her an appetite and... I am just really enjoying your stories and how you write so Thank You.

Okay, I've let you know your appreciated and put out my question into the tumblr universe so now I just have to wait for you to see this and maybe respond.

I hate waiting.

I haven't gotten an ask in a while and AJKHFJKHD Listen!! THE FACE I MADE AT HOW LONG THIS IS??? Superb!! I'm honored you've taken the time to write this all out so I'm gonna try to answer you as best as I can!!

Right now I'm 100% sure that there will be a couple of Novellas/Novelettes directly after Earthshine. The Renee Story, the Charlie Story, and the Roommate Story which all will get maybe 40k and mini plots that are far more focused than Charlie's first story. Charlie's new story will be focused on his relationship with Carlisle too, so that should be fun!

Edward having a Mate is still up in the air at the moment. Since he is still very young, I don't see the need to really give him someone so quick when other characters have waited WAAAY longer. As for who it might be, that's also still up in the air in case I want to do a short story with him that's a part of a series of Novellas after the main books

If I do make a BD rewrite IT WILL have wedding/honeymoon/surprise pregnancy then it will PRETTY MUCH go off the rails from there because the Pregnancy will be VASTLY different. Carlisle is a Doctor and Bella isn't an idiot. They won't be in Washington either.

Again. The first half will be loosely based on the book and then just go completely off the rails because, Like you said, the Volturi have brains and I LOATHE an 'idiot' plot where people are required to suddenly become stupid for the story to work. As for the OYH route, I will be borrowing a couple elements from OYH but the conflict will be very different.

Elisha is baby and there's no way I could make another Dhampir at this point. Not with how much I love him.

The aging process will work differently in this fic for Dhampirs, so this question is irrelevant since Elisha will be a child for the entire fourth book. As for when he's older, Its still up in the air for this series. He deserves to be baby and I very much dislike the trope of age faster = mentally develop faster because that's BS.

We'll see, I love Bella and Garrett, but there's A LOT I'll have to cram into the last book so we'll just see.

As much as I'd love to answer this, I'm covering the honeymoon in the fourth book so you'll see what happens in there ; )

I HAVE PLANS for random one shots. I REALLY DO. I just has so little time to work on the main story so I might write some when Earthshine is done! I have a name for the one-shot collection already too and some Ideas!

I very much plan to write the fourth book you'll be fine. Bella will not be nervous, she'll be WAY more anxious about it going right. Mostly her nerves will be from anticipation and excitement because she'll be 23 and be very secure in her forever with Carlisle.

There will be a fight in book four that will not have the Volturi turning stupid. Don't worry about how.

Charlies little story is a Novella so I don't count it as a book.... GOD hearing you plowed through the series in so short a time is MIND boggling. I get people telling me this occasionally and I NEVER stop being amazed by it!

As for the sex scenes, yeah, I didn't want this to be erotic literature. I frequently scream that 'THIS ISN'T A SMUT BOOK' because them having sex is just a normal healthy thing that happens in relationships and wanted to show that. The sex scenes I write tend to be glossed over anyways so I'm glad it was readable for you. I get feeling frustrated and wanting more plot, but there are plenty of people who prefer the very explicit smut.

If sex scenes aren't your cup of tea, that's fine. I don't view Bella as pure and innocent though. It teeters dangerously on the Madonna/Whore dichotomy to act like she is. I get wanting to preserve the innocence of your childhood through her. That's not me though. Bella/Carlisle's relationship is highly sexual in nature within SoG and that's ALRIGHT too!

Thanks for the super long ask!!! it was great to read and fun to respond to!

[firespirited]

designingmonkey

Wait, are you defending lizzo by saying it’s a classy joint so it’s ok?

No. I’m trying to add some context to the term nudie bars and how much of a difference one nude show can be to another.

The Bananenbar is a series of small rooms packed with about 70 guests and a dozen staff and performers at your table and in your lap. It is in the red light district of Amsterdam where sex work is legal, it is surrounded by windows full of performers, peep shows and sex shops. It exists in a very specific place where sex work is legal so you can have a strip club where the dancers can be touched and do sex-based performances (for a steep fee). Outside of red light zones, touching a dancer is usually forbidden and will get you thrown out of any strip/gentlemen’s club and even arrested. Sex work is illegal.

The Crazy Horse is a stage show. You cannot interact with the dancers. You cannot tip the dancers. They perform non-interactive choreographed dances to light shows. It’s also world-famous and regularly visited by celebs and couples. If you do a tag click, it’s mostly celebs and tourists taking selfies during their visit. If you’re a dancer, you’ve probably heard of it. Ballet pupils get told to keep their butt tucked in and back straight because they’re not being trained to be in Crazy Horse (derogatory) but modern dancers like ones who tour with pop singers might consider the Crazy girls to be a prestigious gig.

I personally don’t find one classier than another. Dancing is a serious job, naked or not, regardless of the venue. I mean, Ballet used to have quite the sordid history.

My issue is with news reporting the dancers “being tricking into seeing a naked show” juxtaposed with the events at the Bananenbar. They leave out the words Crazy Horse because a lot of people know that it’s a Vegas style stage show considered with more respect by dancers.

There are hierarchies of prestige among dancers like in any trade. For example there are ballets with nudity or that depict intimate scenes that are considered highbrow. There are people who feel Beyoncé's backup dancer crew is less “classy” because she’s swapped out Majorette/J-sette type dancers for Vogue/Free form dancers for Renaissance and folks who’ve found it tasteless dancing from the start because they shake their butts.

Dancers whether erotic or not, like to draw clear lines on what is and isn’t acceptable in their line of work and have it in writing. There are clear contractual lines about what you wear and how long you work which is also present in the lawsuit. I find it hard to believe that the dancers consider these two very different events on the same level of sexual harassment 

And I think it harms the lawsuit when people find out it was le Crazy Horse and go “nah, squeaky clean celeb/my rich friends went there last summer, it’s no big deal”.

My biggest issue with Lizzo’s behaviour is serious line blurring that’s happened on tours before (see Madonna and various rock stars) - She pushed work colleagues to act like friends and attend parties with her as friends while they felt their already precarious job was on the line  (getting hired as a black fat dancer isn’t easy) if they didn’t pretend to be fine with all this. 

It could have been coercing them to attend DnD parties, visit a psychic or SeaWorld, it could have been a kids' movie for all it matters: if you don’t want to attend some non-work event with your boss then you should have job security if you say no. If rehearsals drag on, you should be able to clock out or get overtime. If you’re fired, there needs to be a legal reason on paper so that you don’t walk on eggshells around your boss trying to please them. There are clear guidelines on how long a person can dance, in what weather and in what clothing they’re willing to dance. She also acted like they were supposed to be personally invested in her work like a friendship when it’s a job, getting angry like it was personal treason for them to exert employee rights.

So I guess my real issue is that it’s become a sordid sexy scandal instead of a very common worker rights issue: the company as “family” - with illegal, unpaid demands on the worker and unprofessional entitlement by the boss. The fact that a stage show is being put beside an actual in your face sex show is just part of how this mess is being packaged as an *exceptional* scandal instead of a really common issue of crew in the entertainment industry being coerced to do more free work and put up with unacceptable demands out of love of the art.

I can't believe I'm the one to have to say this as I'm not keen on cabaret culture but Le Crazy Horse is not some random gentleman's club or nudie bar, but a prestigious Cirque du Soleil style dance troupe. The dancers are prima ballerina-like athletes who happen to perform near nude. We're talking a-cups and a full 8 pack of abs to even get an audition. It's considered an honour to perform there, quite a few cross over from ballet.

I happen to believe that strippers and exotic dancers are skilled performers who do a physically taxing and emotionally intelligent job so I consider some of the Atlanta strip clubs on the same professional level as a Vegas revue.

But seeing the parisian Crazy Horse described as similar to the red light district Amsterdam Bananenbar feels iffy given the cultural cachet given to getting to perform there as a musician, magician or dancer. It's regularly sponsored by Louboutin and very expensive lingerie brands. I don't mean to insult the Bananenbar ladies either because woof that must take quite some skill but it's not going on bold on your dancers résumé in the same way.

Inviting people to Bananenbar is a bachelorette party/hen night kind of vibe, inviting someone to Le Crazy Horse is considered classy and fancy, especially if you're into dance. I imagine Bananenbar ladies make more in tips but Crazy Horse ladies (it is not a well paid gig at 30k a year) get to cash in on prestige for future jobs.

[ingek73]

Game, set, and twat: Whether it’s Meghan or Naomi Osaka, Piers Morgan’s MailOnline-enabled bullying has a pattern...

... the mediocre hack’s mediocre hack hates women who don’t dance to his tune.

Mic Wright

11 hr ago

If someone had a blog and Twitter account where they relentlessly attacked a series of high profile women — many of them women of colour — for perceived slights and their refusal to pay the writer attention, we’d usually call that person a bully and a troll, and if they persisted in that behaviour they might even find themselves facing legal consequences.

But Piers Morgan has a TV career and a MailOnline byline so he’s given impunity to mock, abuse, and denigrate women while claiming he’s just a ‘critical voice’. His latest target is Naomi Osaka, the 23-year-old tennis player who is currently ranked number 2 in the world, is the reigning champion of the US Open and Australian Open, and became the first woman to win back-to-back grand slams since Serena Williams in 2015.

By contrast, Piers Morgan is a mediocre hack who owes his controversy-baiting career to Simon Cowell who pulled him out of the dumper of history and plonked him on the America’s Got Talent panel after he was frog-marched out of Fleet Street for slapping faked photos on the front page of a national newspaper. That incident was the last in an ignominious run at The Daily Mirror and, before that, in the Murdoch press, which I have covered extensively in the past.

[image description] Twitter avatar for @Nabilu

Nabil Abdulrashid

@Nabilu

If time machines existed Piers Morgan would go backwards in time to chat shit about Rosa Parks

May 31st 2021

346 Retweets2,456 Likes]

Morgan’s latest creepy obsession was triggered — I use that word deliberately — by Osaka’s decision not to speak to the press during the French Open at Roland Garros because interviews were affecting her mental health. She subsequently withdrew from the tournament altogether after winning her first match, having been fined $15,000 for not speaking to the media and warned she was at risk of being expelled from the event.

In her statement yesterday, Osaka wrote that she had suffered “long bouts of depression” since she defeated Serena Williams in the 2018 US Open Final and received significant media attention. She continued:

I never wanted to be a distraction and I accept that my timing was not ideal and my message could have been clearer. More importantly, I would never trivialise mental health or use the term lightly.

Nothing in either of Osaka’s statements support Morgan’s sneering labelling of the player as “Narcissistic Naomi” or “world sport’s most petulant little madam”. Once again a 56-year-old man is using his vast and undeserved media platform to bully and harass a woman half his age. And — surprise, surprise — it’s actually just a new front in his obsessive one-sided war on the Duchess of Sussex.

Beneath the frankly unhinged headline, Narcissistic Naomi's cynical exploitation of mental health to silence the media is right from the Meghan and Harry playbook of wanting their press cake and eating it, Morgan writes:

Naomi Osaka is a brilliant tennis player…

… She is also the highest-paid female athlete in the world, raking in $55.2 million in the past 12 months, $5.2 million from tennis winnings and $50 million from endorsement deals with the likes of Nike, Beats by Dre, Mastercard and Nissin…

… Unfortunately, Ms Osaka is also an arrogant spoiled brat whose fame and fortune appears to have inflated her ego to gigantic proportions.

How else to explain her extraordinary decision to announce she will no longer participate in media press conferences, supposedly to protect her mental health?

Morgan is pretending that he doesn’t know that money is not an impregnable suit of armour to protect your mental health. Osaka could be the richest woman in the world and still face anxiety and depression. In fact, at just 23, the pressures of her performance-driven, endorsement-laden life are arguably more likely to lead to those feelings than a ‘normal’ one.

But rather than seeing Osaka as a young woman in an extraordinary position who is struggling with those demands and finding the hectoring, hostile, and entitled attitude of the press hard to handle at the moment, Morgan calls her “petulant” and continues:

[She] was fined $15,000 for refusing to appear in front of the media… Of course, given that she earns around $6,000 an hour, Osaka will recoup this fine while she sleeps tonight, rendering the fine utterly meaningless.

What's not meaningless is her frankly contemptible attempt to avoid legitimate media scrutiny by weaponizing mental health to justify her boycott.

Morgan departed Good Morning Britain after the row that followed his comment that he “didn’t believe a word” of the Duchess of Sussex’s statements about her mental health during the Oprah interview. Now, the mental health analyser has logged on again and he has determined that Naomi Osaka does not meet his standard of distress. Sadly, he secured his professional qualifications in this area by scrawling a certificate in crayon on the back of a Pizza Express kids menu.

[image description] Twitter avatar for @PaulbernalUK

Paul Bernal

@PaulbernalUK

What is it about Naomi Osaka and Meghan Markle that gets Piers Morgan so worked up, I wonder. Image

May 31st 2021

1,726 Retweets10,537 Likes

-

He claims that after reading Osaka’s Instagram post about press conferences, which he calls “an orgy of narcissistic twaddle”, “several times” he experienced “mounting fury”. Remember, this is a 56-year-old man contorting his melted waxwork face into an angry rictus over a 23-year-old woman he doesn’t know choosing not to appear at a press conference. I am not convinced that Osaka is the narcissistic one here.

Morgan continues:

One thing’s very clear: This has got nothing to do with mental health.

What Osaka really means is that she doesn’t want to face the media if she hasn’t played well, because the beastly journalists might actually dare to criticise her performance…

… This is straight out of the Meghan and Harry playbook of wanting to have the world’s largest cake and eating it, by exploiting the media for ruthless self-promotion but using mental health to silence any media criticism.

One thing’s very clear: This has got nothing to do with Naomi Osaka.

What Morgan really means is that he’s still beetroot red over a perceived slight by Meghan back in 2016, which he only started ranting about after he didn’t get an invite to her wedding and was “ghosted”. That came after two years of him tweeting about her as a “friend”.

Piers Morgan is simply using Naomi Osaka as another way to wage his sad fuck guerilla war against the Sussexes. And Osaka is just the latest in a long string of young women to fall short of his weirdo expectations.

He berated Lady Gaga on social media, attacking her after she spoke about dealing with PTSD after being raped, and goaded her so much that she agreed to an interview clearly in the hope of getting him to stop.

He attacked Arianna Grande after the Manchester Arena attack and kept up his bullying for six months until she agreed to have dinner with him after what he said was a “chance meeting”. After she had conceded to spending time in his fetid presence he shifted tack and started creepily calling her his “soulmate” — she was 26 at the time.

These obsessions with young women are often framed as “feuds” in the press, but they are, in fact, byline-enabled stalking. Morgan has a huge platform and he abuses it to get women to concede to him, to make mollifying noises, to pretend that they are his friends just to get him to stop.

The only difference between Piers Morgan and a street harasser screaming at a woman to smile is that MailOnline and ITV pay him handsomely for the privilege. Tonight, Morgan’s ‘Life Stories’ interview with Keir Starmer goes out on ITV and he’ll once again get a chance to dominate the headlines. His views are given credence by the political elite even as he continues to abuse women for attention and praise.

It’s a tactic he’s used for decades, stretching back to his time on The Sun’s Bizarre column, where he insisted on inserting pictures of himself cuddling up to celebrities. His ‘feud’/obsession with Madonna has run on for decades, beginning in his Fleet Street days when she didn’t give him the exclusive on her first pregnancy and continuing right up until now.

As with Lady Gaga, Morgan has repeatedly mocked and dismissed Madonna for saying she was raped in the past. However, unlike Gaga, Madonna has refused to pay homage to Morgan with an interview. He preemptively ‘banned’ her from his CNN show back in 2011 though she had shown not one scintilla of interest in appearing, and tried to reignite interest in his hatred for her in 2016 by saying he would end “the feud” if she apologised to him. He’s still waiting for that call.

Morgan’s attack on Osaka, which is simply another attempt to get at Meghan, came two days after a Daily Mail interview with Jan Moir in which he grumbled:

[Meghan] thinks she’s beaten me? She might be in for a surprise because I suspect I’ll be back soon. If Meghan thinks she has cancelled me or won the battle, she is in for a big shock. I’ve never been more popular.

It made me think of this moment in Mad Men:

Michael Ginsberg: What do I care? I got a million of them… a million…

Don Draper: Good. I guess I’m lucky you work for me.

Michael Ginsberg: I feel bad for you.

Don Draper: I don’t think about you at all.

Meghan is Draper. Morgan is a total Ginsberg — smug and self-satisfied, convinced that Meghan is as obsessed with him as he is with her, certain that they are having a feud between equals and not the same dynamic as every woman cursed with a sad but sinister stalker.

And while Morgan acts like he’s a brave truth-teller, he only dares pump his horseshit opinions into MailOnline’s open sewer once he’s fairly sure that there are enough other media bullies taking the same line. The Australian’s tennis correspondent Will Swanton filed his misogynist screed a full day before Morgan got round to his.

There’s a clue as to how Morgan expects young women to act around him in the latest instalment of his journals — The Diary of Samuel Creeps — which are published in The Mail on Sunday.

Recounting his visit to what sounds like a truly mind-numbing party (“…drinking cocktails, nibbling canapés and having actual ‘fun’ in the garden of the Notting Hill home of Gabriela Peacock, nutritionist to the stars.”) he describes an encounter with Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie:

Princess Beatrice arrived with her husband Eduardo. They announced her first pregnancy today, and both seemed ecstatically happy.

‘Please thank your mum for her supportive texts when I left GMB,’ I told her. ‘She’s always been very loyal to me, and I greatly appreciate it.’

‘Well, you’ve been very loyal to her,’ Beatrice replied, ‘and she appreciates that too.’

I’ve always had a soft spot for Fergie.

Princess Eugenie, who gave birth to her first child three months ago, joined her sister. ‘If you two need any parenting tips for your expanding Royal creche, I’ve had four kids so am something of an expert,’ I suggested.

Their regal eyebrows shot up in synchronised horror. ‘No, we’re good thanks, Piers,’ came the firm, unified response.

I’ve known both Princesses since they were very young, and they’ve been through a lot of tough times in the media spotlight, especially lately over their father Prince Andrew’s shameful friendship with billionaire paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

But they never complain, or give whining interviews, or publicly trash their family, and they’re always incredibly nice, polite and good fun – which all makes such a refreshing change from their narcissistic, self-pitying, family-abusing, spoiled-brat cousins over in California.

Piers Morgan wants to be treated as famous rather than infamous, and likes women to indulge his antics and act as if they’re amused by his sweaty-handed attention. Fergie — a woman devoid of discernible talent beyond tolerating her ex-husband’s second career as the top Yelp! reviewer at Jeffrey Epstein’s houses — is a-ok with Piers because she sucks up to him. Similarly, her daughters are delightful because they’ll tolerate Morgan’s dad jokes and fetid familiarity.

Morgan is not a journalist, a truth-teller, a maverick, or a commentator in anything but bad faith. He’s nothing more than a misogynist with a MailOnline byline and some big money contracts. Don’t let him pretend to be anything else.

[tabloidtoc]

People, May 10

Cover: Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade

Page 3: Chatter -- Mindy Kaling on technology woes, Amy Adams on wanting to go into acting because of Grease, Gal Gadot on telling her daughters Maya and Alma about her pregnancy, DJ Khaled on using Rihanna's skin-care line, Christie Brinkley on showing off her body on Instagram at age 67, Whoopi Goldberg on writing a superhero movie about an older Black lady

Page 4: 5 Things We're Talking About -- Michael Keaton returns as Batman, Jane Fonda recalls her first and best kiss, Maya Rudolph would give Bridesmaids another go, the stars of ER scrub in one more time, popcorn and donuts team up

Page 7: Contents

Page 8: StarTracks -- one day before Prince William and Princess Kate's youngest child Prince Louis turned 3, Kensington Palace released a new portrait of the little royal to mark the occasion; Kate snapped the photo of Louis, who wore a school uniform and backpack as he rode his bike outside their home in London ahead of his first day of preschool

Page 9: JoJo Siwa and mom Jessalynn went for a roller-coaster ride at Disney's Hollywood studios in Florida, Madonna in a three-piece Gucci suit for dinner at West Hollywood staple Craig's

Page 10: Stars on Set -- Rachel Brosnahan was pretty in pink while filming season 4 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with costar Alex Borstein in NYC, John Cena flashed a peace sign when he took a coffee break while filming The Suicide Squad spinoff series Peacemaker in Vancouver, Tika Sumpter and James Marsden shot an action-packed scene for Sonic the Hedgehog 2 in Vancouver

Page 11: Katie Holmes was spotted on a Connecticut set preparing to film the drama The Watergate Girl in which she'll play Watergate prosecutor Jill Wine-Banks, Awkwafina and Bowen Yang filmed the upcoming season of Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens in NYC, Melissa Benoist suited up for Supergirl in Vancouver

Page 12: Brooke Shields who is recovering after breaking her femur in a gym accident walked arm in arm after a lunch with husband Chris Henchy, Britney Spears and boyfriend Sam Asghari posed for a photo before attending a friend's wedding

Page 15: Stars in the Sun -- Maren Morris flaunted her new tan while enjoying a tropical getaway, Simone Biles and boyfriend Jonathan Owens cuddled up during a trip to Florida, Lindsey Vonn caught some waves and some rays while paddleboarding in Tulum, Derek Hough cooled off in the ocean during a beach day in L.A., Brie Larson enjoyed a dip while on vacation in Hawaii

Page 17: Scoop -- Life After Their Split -- how Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are moving on

Page 18: Inside Caitlyn Jenner's run for governor

Page 20: Heart Monitor -- Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae Young ready to wed, Pete Davidson and Phoebe Dynevor going public, Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares split, Billie Eilish and Matthew Tyler Vorce new couple?

Page 23: Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin's messy divorce

* Susannah Constantine -- my royal friendship with Princess Margaret

Page 24: Open House -- French Montana

* Baby Boom -- the latest on Hollywood's growing families -- Marie Kondo and Takumi Kawahara welcomed a son, Nick and Lauren Carter welcomed their third child

Page 27: Ed Helms talks life after The Office

Page 29: Passages, Why I Care -- Lisa Kudrow is working with doctors at UCLA to end the stigma surrounding mental health issues

Page 31: Stories to Make You Smile -- most cats can't stand the water but 8-month-old Marlin can't get enough and his Instagram is @carolinejarvis, a first grader's airplane kits give wings to kids' travel dreams

Page 35: People Picks -- Tom Clancy's Without Remorse

Page 36: Limbo, One to Watch -- Shadow and Bone's Jessie Mei Li

Page 37: Pose, Pet Stars

Page 38: The Handmaid's Tale, Thomas Rhett -- Country Again: Side A, Q&A with Olivia Holt

Page 39: The Mosquito Coast, Inspiring America: The 2021 Inspiration List

Page 41: Books

Page 42: Oscars 2021 -- The Return of Glamour -- the show was unconventional, just 170 guests were allowed in L.A.'s Union Station, and COVID restrictions were strictly enforced, but stars did their part to bring back some movie magic

Page 43: Andra Day

Page 44: Fabulous Fashion -- crop tops, ball gowns and bows ruled the red carpet -- Angela Bassett, Zendaya, Carey Mulligan, Maria Bakalova

Page 45: Margot Robbie, Reese Witherspoon, Viola Davis, Amanda Seyfried

Page 46: Behind the Scenes -- Regina King -- the actress closed out awards season in a custom Louis Vuitton creation

Page 48: Shine Bright -- there's no such thing as too much bling -- Laura Pausini, Vanessa Kirby, Zendaya

Page 49: Maria Bakalova, Daniel Kaluuya, Glenn Close, Tiara Thomas

Page 50: Very Well Suited -- these sharp dressers put their own twists on the tuxedo -- Lakeith Stanfield, Colman Domingo, Paul Raci, Tyler Perry, Sacha Baron Cohen, Alan Kim

Page 53: Getting Ready with Andra Day

Page 55: Getting Ready with Angela Bassett

Page 56: Romance on the Red Carpet -- these couples only had eyes for each other -- Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher, Halle Berry and Van Hunt, Chloe Zhao and Joshua James Richards, Riz Ahmed and Fatima Farheen Mirza

Page 57: Steven Yeun and Joana Pak, Leslie Odom Jr. and Nicolette Robinson, Paul Raci and Liz Hanley Raci, Aaron Sorkin and Paulina Porizkova

Page 58: Best in Show -- there were A-list stars, groundbreaking moments and social distancing as Hollywood gathered safely to honor the best movies of the year -- Reese Witherspoon

Page 61: Alan Kim, Angela Bassett, Rita Moreno

Page 62: Major Moments -- these artists broke barriers during the most historic ceremony ever -- Emerald Fennell, Chloe Zhao, Daniel Kaluuya

Page 63: H.E.R., Anthony Hopkins, Yuh-Jung Youn with Brad Pitt, Mia Neal

Page 65: Yuh-Jung Youn and Daniel Kaluuya and Frances McDormand, Elton John and Dua Lipa, Andra Day and Winnie Harlow

Page 66: Cover Story -- Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union -- Dream Team -- the actress and NBA champ open up about protecting their family, fighting for what's right and why they're stronger than ever

Page 72: George Floyd's Killer Found Guilty -- We Can Breathe Again -- friends and family of the Minneapolis man killed by police rejoice after a jury's verdict and vow with supporters to keep fighting systemic racism

Page 76: Bethenny Frankel -- what I know now -- the irrepressible former Real Housewives star and businesswoman is newly engaged and back as a boss with a new show

Page 80: A Son Lost to Suicide, A Father's Mission -- we loved him every day, but it wasn't enough -- after the shocking death of his 12-year-old son, Brad Hunstable has a message for parents: talk to your kids about suicide

Page 84: Andrew McCarthy -- I was never suited for fame -- the beloved actor, and author of a new memoir, looks back on his enduring films, surviving his '80s stardom and how his affiliation with the so-called Brat Pack was a mixed blessing

Page 88: Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton's 10-year anniversary -- remembering the big day -- those who made the wedding a fairy tale share their memories

Page 92: Country Singer Thomas Rhett -- fame, family and finding my way -- the star opens up about overcoming struggled with his wife Lauren in their 8-year-marriage and learning to put their family first

Page 98: Murdered Soldier Vanessa Guillen's Fiance -- every day I pray for justice -- a year after losing the love of his life, Juan Cruz is determined to make sure the Army specialist's legacy is never forgotten and that her tragic death inspires lasting change

Page 102: George W. Bush -- painting with a purpose -- the former president avoided making waves, until his party's nativist prompted him to use his art to celebrate immigrants

Page 106: Pop Star Julia Michaels -- how I learned to love myself -- the singer talks falling in love, managing anxiety and writing hits for Britney Spears and Selena Gomez

Page 116: One Last Thing -- Josh Duhamel

[sinagrace]

Iceman’s been back on my mind lately. It started with the internet rumor that Shia Labeouf was being considered to play the role of Bobby Drake in a Marvel Cinematic Universe version of the X-Men. My DMs and @Mentions on social media were a mixture of intense reaction and then asking my take on who would make a great Bobby Drake (for the record: in my head I always saw him as a younger Antoni Porowski with a theater background, ‘cuz playing the funny guy with a vulnerable streak requires serious acting shops). My mind went back to the time of BC, when I was doing a lot of touring, and answering this very question because of my work on the Iceman book at Marvel. One thing led to another, and I decided to take a trip further down memory lane to look at my favorite volume of the series: Amazing Friends. Now, I know I’ve spent equal amounts of time publicly stating what a gift working on Iceman was, while also calling out the challenges that came with the experience, but the third volume really was a pure blessing. I was able to take every valuable lesson I learned as a writer, and apply it to telling a story that would be interesting to one person: Me. I’ve been a lifelong X-Men fan, I live and breathe comics, so my own expectations for a return to the series seemed like the only ones to really worry about meeting/ surpassing. The first two volumes had been so bogged down by rotating editors, complex continuity, company-wide events, multiple artists… The third volume was my chance to focus on what an Iceman series was outside of so much context. All that mattered was challenging myself to do an X-Men story that focused on the aspects of the franchise I felt were valuable and relevant, meaning: excuses to have Emma Frost be an asshole and finding an opportunity to make fun of Kitty Pryde’s haircut. Before moving on from Marvel, Axel Alonso made time to call me for a pep talk about the series. I wanted to get the series extended, and he wanted to help me succeed with the ten issues he could commit to. First, he offered an eleventh issue to give me more time on the stands. He took a look at everything I had planned, and basically told me to restructure with an eye for ramping up the pace. My writing background comes from prose and essays/ think pieces… both of which are methodical and provide some allowance from the reader to really take your time and set up the world before diving into the meat. That’s not the case with comics. You gotta work fast. Especially in today’s market, there is less and less room for a retailer to say, “give it two volumes, because shit starts really coming together by the third trade.” That was literally my speech for hooking people on such iconic series as Invincible, Fables, and Strangers in Paradise. Nowadays, every single issue is not a brick to be laid down as foundation so much as a bullet in your gun. Conflicting imagery, but that’s the point. Axel told me to think about the Big Moments in my life and sort out how to inject the mutant metaphor into it and make the most compelling comic book story I could. This was epic advice that I took with me into the new arc, but I struggled a bit with what could be bigger than the “coming out” storyline in volume one. Love was off the table because I wanted to keep Bobby single and ready to mingle. Death was off the table too, because my editor felt like we’d done enough with Bobby’s parents in the first two volumes. Upon looking at my own life, and considering the stuff me and my friends were dealing with, I landed on something a bit more reflective than LIFE or DEATH. I wanted to focus on that moment when a gay guy looks outside of himself and realizes the folks around him may not have it so easy. After everything we’ve been dealing with this summer, Iceman’s “big issue” of the arc feels oddly prescient. Bobby Drake had to reconcile his accidental complicit role in keeping the Morlocks down, and he has to investigate new approaches to being a better ally to those who don’t want to or can’t live under the protection of the X-Men. I used the Morlocks to allegorically speak to the issues that the trans/ NB community face today. Considering that trans folks are facing higher rates of homelessness and murder than other members of the LGBTQIA+ community, all I needed to do was find a perfect villain to treat the Morlocks as “lesser-than.” Cue Mister Sinister, who I wrote as particularly Darwinist with a major flair for interactive theater. While Amazing Friends definitely is the most fun I’ve had working on the book, it was also full of the heaviest shit I’ve written about. I’m so grateful that my editor let me use Emma Frost for a story about the trauma of gay conversion therapy with her brother Christian, but I’m still annoyed he wouldn’t let me put her in a sickening Givenchy outfit for her reveal. Similarly, creating the Madin character required that I chat with several mental healthcare professionals and members of the NB community to respectfully portray them as a resilient and fleshed out hero. I included personal lessons that I learned from years of the therapy (the sandcastle / sea image, a Jay Edidin fave moment). My editor and I weren’t always aligned, but we definitely were on each other’s side. He understood what I was trying to do and asked questions when something flew over his head, and he even had the good instincts to stop me from going too heavy handed with the ending. My original idea for the arc’s finale was to have Bobby become permanently scarred in his fight with Sinister, where he’d have a cool ice gash running across his face or something, a la Squall from Final Fantasy 8. The goal was to show Iceman stripping himself of his ability to pass as non-mutant to save the Morlocks, but the Mutant Pride fight scene being a stand-in for the Stonewall Riots kind of already made enough of a statement. Plus, no one in editorial wanted to deal with remembering to track his scar in other books. At first I tried to balk at his point of view, but when I looked over my original notes for the series, the point was to focus on optimism and hope. Giving Bobby a permanent scar and emphasizing the notion of sacrifice was too bleak a message for a series wherein the hero carbo-loads hoagies while riding an ice scooter and mutant drag queens emcee local festivals. Of course, the crowning achievement of the series… my mutant drag queen :) I’ve witnessed a lot when it comes to the world of pop culture and myth-making, and I 100% believe that you can’t plan the success of something. I’ve seen bands forced into breaking up because labels spend six figures failing at making listeners connect with an album. I witnessed firsthand how The Walking Dead was built from relatively humble beginnings as a buzzy cable drama into a literal international phenomenon over the course of its first three seasons. Everyone hopes for the best, but you never know how something will land with audiences. When the Shade character took off, I was truly astounded. Things I posted on Instagram while half-asleep became official quotes on major news sites. Queens and cosplayers were interpreting her like Margot Robbie had unveiled a new Harley Quinn lewk. The impact was so legit and immediate that we had to jump in and give Shade a proper Marvel hero alias, to truly welcome her into the X-Men canon. Hence the name change to Darkveil. (Funny story: I tried to fight hard for Madame X as an alias, but CB didn’t want another Agent X / “X-Name” character. Three months later, Madonna announced the Madame X album. Phew!) There was a time where I felt uncertain that the folks in charge at Marvel would bring Darkveil into any stories outside of the ones I wrote. My understanding was that Hickman was like the Cylons and had A Plan-- one that didn’t include her character. I made peace with my contribution to the Marvel Universe being contained, but then someone on social media pointed out that Darkveil showed up in an issue of Marvel Voices. After breaking down and reading Hickman’s House of X, I saw that his Plan was one of endless possibilities, and that he was moving EVERY character into new and dynamic places. I have hope now that he sees the possibilities with Darkveil, and takes advantage of her and all of her many body pouches. Amazing Friends really is my favorite thing I’ve done for the Big Two. I made a lifelong friend out of artist Nate Stockman (DC, please hire us for a Plasticman book), and I got to run a victory lap with the most encouraging and supportive readers out there. It was worth every dreadful conversation, every shitty thing a person said to me online, and all of the fun nonsense that goes into being creative for a living. Being stuck at home in quarantine has given me a lot of time to reflect on the gift that my career to date has been, and I feel so grateful to be where I am today. Other people may groan when they have to talk about something they’ve moved on from, but not me. I made people happier, I got to work with my favorite characters at Marvel, and and I'll say it again: it’s a frickin’ gift to make people move from your work. So, I will engage every tweet or message asking me my thoughts about who should play Bobby Drake in the Marvel Cinematic Universe… I’ll just never have a good answer.

[dichenlachmandaily]

Talk beauty with incredible beauty Dichen Lachman? Yes, please! In addition to her diverse acting credits —  she can be seen in next year’s “Jurassic World: Dominion,” and in “Severance,” the upcoming Ben Stiller-directed series airing on Apple TV+ — Dichen has a diverse background that is at least partially responsible for her stunning, singular appearance. Born in Nepal, her father Australian, Dichen says she has eclectic taste and likes “to try different looks.” From brows to Botox, we discussed all things aesthetic with the actress and mom to five-and-a-half-year-old, Mathilda.

The Bare Magazine: First, let’s talk about your cool background, born in Nepal, raised in Australia. What did you internalize from each place about beauty?

Dichen Lachman: In Nepal, makeup was very linked to the culture; the third eye and the kohl around the eyes. They even put the theekha on little babies. In the West, it’s not linked to anything spiritual. It’s more about aesthetics and trends. I like observing how all cultures incorporate makeup into their identity. I find it fascinating. In terms of me, I don’t wear a lot of makeup unless I need to do a work thing — I’m more interested in taking care of my skin than painting it.

Bare: Perfect segue! How do you take care of your skin?

DL: As a mom, I really don’t have a lot of time to take care of it. I use witch hazel to clean my skin, and there are a few different products from different lines that I’ll mix and match. It’s kind of a journey finding the right product as a woman, and as you get older, your skin changes.

Bare: Speaking of getting older, who do you think is doing it well and with grace?

DL: I’ve been embracing this idea over the last few years: If it feels good and you’re inspired to do it, and you’re not hurting anybody, then do it. It’s easy to see somebody and say “that’s a lot of work,” but if they’re happy…Of course, in some cases it goes into body dysmorphic territory, but I think that’s when it is up to the people around you to check in and ask, “Are you okay?”

Bare: It’s a slippery slope, for sure.

DL: It’s really interesting, there are so many people in this business, and they’re aging so gracefully, and then you find out they’ve had work. But, like, I get it because it’s a business where people have to look at you. And also technology is so advanced that when you see your face through a filter you’re, like, ‘look how I great I look!’ and then you take it off and you’re, like, ‘oh dear God, who is that? I like the other person!’ I don’t like that we are doing this to ourselves. It’s nice to look and feel good, and it’s nice to take a good picture. A little manipulation is nice, but when it gets to a point where it’s unattainable, that only makes us feel worse. I think it will take a generational push back to change it. Maybe my daughter’s generation will be, like, ‘oh my God you filtered your face?’

Bare: What message do you hope to pass on to your daughter about beauty?

DL: Just that she’s enough. She likes to play with makeup and stuff like that. And sometimes she sees me using it and wants to try it. I tell her she doesn’t need it. Children are beautiful. They don’t need anything. In fact, keeping it simple is a good policy for any age. Less is more.

Bare: Do you ever see yourself getting Botox or fillers?

DL: I did do “Baby Botox” once. I tried it because I have a completely crooked smile, so I went to a derm out of curiosity at the end of 2019 and I was, like, ‘I don’t want to do anything, I just want to know what you see here, and what should I do.’ Half an hour later I was, like, ‘sure, let’s try a tiny bit of Botox here.’ It helped straighten out my smile.

Bare: Do you have any beauty idols?

DL: There are so many incredible, gorgeous women out there. Madonna, of course, embracing so many different looks. She was a trailblazer. There are a lot of beautiful actresses from the 50’s, too. And my mom! She didn’t wear any makeup — she didn’t even pluck her eyebrows. Her mom would rub butter on her face as moisturizer.

Bare: Do you have a favorite on-screen look of yours?

DL: In so many shows, I’m covered in dirt or blood! I think in terms of beauty, the makeup artists on “Altered Carbon” did an amazing job. My face is very strange, not everyone knows what to do with it. I have a lot of surface area, and my eyes are Asian, so they’re not always easy to do. It’s very easy to make me look over the top.

Bare: Shifting to more spiritual things, do you have any wellness practices?

DL: I love meditating and thinking about creative ideas or things. I do that while I’m cleaning. I think that your environment informs how you feel, so I like creating a nice environment…even if it is ultimately destroyed by my daughter. I find it meditative. My husband is, like, “You’re vacuuming again?” But it’s so satisfying to hear the crumbs get sucked up by the vacuum cleaner — and you can see real progress. I like painting for that reason, too. I painted a house with a friend. It’s rewarding to see things change right in front of your eyes.

Bare: We’d be remiss if we didn’t ask about your tattoo. What does it say?

DL: It’s actually a Virgil tattoo, which is hilarious because I didn’t know it at the time, but apparently it’s common to get a Virgil tattoo. I was in Cardiff Castle in Wales, and in the ladies’ tea room I saw one of his quotes: “Love conquers all things, so we too shall yield to love.” So I wrote it down, and at one point I decided to get it inked on myself. I could have many more, but I don’t like sitting in the makeup chair getting them covered all the time.

Bare: We like to close our interviews by asking our subjects for their Bare Essentials. As in, what do you absolutely need in life?

DL: Probably Witch Hazel for my skin. I get it at Target. I love aloe vera from the garden, too. But what I really couldn’t live without is my family. Even if I need alone time sometimes.

Editor: Didi Gluck

Photos and makeup: Tina Turnbow using Ogee

All clothing from Zara

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1987

Under the cut.

"Shake You Down" -- Gregory Abbot -- January 17, 1987

The only reason I've heard this song before is because of Todd in the Shadows' worst hit songs of 1987 video. I do not entirely agree with his list, but this one definitely belongs on it. I don't think the song's writer knew what "shake down" actually means. This is supposed to be a love song about how the narrator is missing the woman he's staring at (um) and wants her back so he can "shake you down." It sounds creepy, and yet the music is so painfully bland it can't even rise to that. It's no surprise it hasn't gotten radio play since it was a hit. That it was a hit in the first place is mystifying.

"At This Moment" -- Billy Vera and the Beaters -- January 24, 1987

A rather good blue-eyed soul song. The narrator is singing to a woman who just told him she's in love with someone else. It sounds like she's acting scared, and he's upset by that as well as by her leaving him, because "I'd never, never hurt you." And he'd give up twenty years of his life if she'd stay. There are some massive blues horns, Billy Vera sings it well, and it's cathartically sad. The song became a hit years after it was first released because it was on Family Ties. Billy Vera keeps on chugging, and he's also a music historian. He won a Grammy for "best album notes" in 2013 for a Ray Charles boxed set. I had no idea that was an award category.

"Open Your Heart" -- Madonna -- February 7, 1987

Watch out. When Madonna says "I've had to work much harder than this/ For something I want, don't try to resist me," it's absolutely believable. She worked incredibly hard to get where she was. I guess the song is stalkery when looked at from a certain angle, but that is not the angle I choose. I hear it as I did as a teenager -- as something aspirational, because I got huge and powerful crushes on guys (mostly friends) and then did absolutely nothing about it, both because I had no idea what to do and because I didn't actually want a boyfriend yet. (That changed in college.) Musically and lyrically, the song is Motown mixed with disco and updated, as most of the True Blue album is. It's a lot of fun.

"Livin on a Prayer" -- Bon Jovi -- February 14, 1987

I wonder what I'd feel about this song if it hadn't been overplayed for years and years. I don't think it was/is played more than "You Give Love a Bad Name," but I have never been sick of "You Give Love a Bad Name." This one... meh. I don't want to run screaming from it, even after hearing it a zillion times, so that's something. It's about a working class couple who's having serious money troubles. It's just a snapshot of this difficult time in their life, and how they're holding on to each other. I'd be happier with it if the story were rounded out, and especially if they got a happy ending. The music is fine, acceptable rock, but nothing special.

"Jacob's Ladder" -- Huey Lewis and the News -- March 14, 1987

This song is a "fuck off" to televangelists, though if you only listen to the chorus you might not know that. I always appreciate anyone telling televangelists to fuck off. I could use it being nastier, but you can't expect real nastiness from Huey Lewis and the News. Genesis would go there a few years later, and I like that song much better. "Jesus He Knows Me" is also more interesting musically. This one's fine, but not memorable.

"Lean on Me" -- Club Nouveau -- March 21, 1987

The original "Lean on Me" is one of the great songs. This version is annoying. A go-go beat and a faux-reggae break. The original of this song is deeply emotional and touching. This one is not even a good dance song. I liked it when I was a kid, but that makes sense, because it's a very kiddie song.

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" -- Starship -- April 4, 1987

This song is actually not bad. It's pretty good, even. It's a very slick synth-heavy drum machine love song, but I really like the way Grace Slick sings on it. Mickey Thomas, well, he hits the notes. Could be worse. If they'd gotten a male vocalist who could match Grace Slick on his part of the duet, this might be a great song. They didn't, so it's just pretty good.

"I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" -- Aretha Franklin and George Michael -- April 18, 1987

George Michael is an excellent singer, but he's no Aretha Franklin. But who is? He holds his own pretty well here. As both Franklin and Michael know how to push emotion in a song, they end up with good chemistry on this one. Unfortunately, though the vocal performances are great, the music itself is dull. The melody slips out of my head while I'm listening to it.

"(I Just) Died in Your Arms" -- Cutting Crew -- May 2, 1987

*silent scream of anguish* I wish this song would slip out of my head permanently. It is my personal most overplayed song in existence. My hate for it could end worlds. I have no idea about what qualities it might or might not have. I just want it to shut the fuck up.

"With or Without You" -- U2 -- May 16, 1987

I don't think U2 actually counts as "alternative," but the alternative stations were the only ones who played them where I lived. The song is extremely structured and carefully designed, but it feels somehow raw at the same time. It doesn't have the layers upon layers of synth that most of the songs on the charts did. It has a beautiful melody. The lyrics are thoughtful, heartrending poetry. I'm not sure what I thought of the song at the time -- I associate it more with a couple years later, when my family moved to a town near a huge state college and I started listening to the college station. It hasn't aged a bit. An amazing song.

Also Bono’s personality is somewhat insufferable if one is silly enough to look into it. But his voice is incredibly hot, and I very much appreciate that.

"You Keep Me Hangin' On" -- Kim Wilde -- June 6, 1987

Back to the layers of synth. This is the Supremes song updated as a 1987 dance song, and it sounds exactly like you'd think it would. It's okay.

"Always" -- Atlantic Starr -- June 13, 1987

This is the kind of song I made gagging noises about at age 10, when it came out. I'm tempted to now too. It's like corn syrup, both lyrically and musically. It sounds like it was written for weddings.

"Head to Toe" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- June 20, 1987

I liked this song a lot when I was a kid. I had a lot of fun dancing to it. Now I hear Lisa Lisa's vocals in the opening and chorus, which are kind of like a police siren, and want to cover my ears. I can't listen to it without getting a headache nowadays.

"I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" -- Whitney Houston -- June 27, 1987

This is a Whitney Houston song I like. She doesn't oversing as much as usual -- she mostly, though not entirely, saves it for the chorus. She wants to dance with "a man who'll take a chance/ On a love that burns hot enough to last." It's a simple dance song that speaks to real emotion.

"Alone" -- Heart -- July 11, 1987

In the 80s, Heart did hair metal ballads. All the men who did the same were copying them. Including the hair itself. Heart did it first, and Heart did it best. So lyrically, why can't she get this person alone? Not even on the phone? Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is the emotion, the music, and that this is a great song to sing along with.

"Shakedown" -- Bob Seger -- August 1, 1987

Unlike Gregory Abbott, Bob Seger knew what "shakedown" meant. The song was written for Beverly Hills Cop II, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It's a good movie song, but doesn't transcend that box. Still fun though.

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" -- U2 -- August 8, 1987

This is a spiritual pop song. But it's very far from the sanitized happy clappy Christian-brand pop that's so foul. It's about a search for transcendence that's ongoing -- eternal, really. And while this song is explicitly Christian, it speaks to a universality that doesn't require religion of any kind. Also it's beautiful musically.

"Who's That Girl" -- Madonna -- August 22, 1987

I'm surprised this was a number one. Or even charted in the top 20. I'd have predicted #46 or something. The movie it was written for was terrible, and Madonna was particularly terrible in it. Like, aggressively terrible, when in most movies she was just kinda blah. I've never liked the song. I don't hate it either; I don't feel much of anything about it. That is very strange for a Madonna song -- "American Life" is awful, but it makes me feel things. (Mostly embarrassment.) But "Who's That Girl" is bland, which a Madonna song should never be.

"La Bamba" -- Los Lobos -- August 29, 1987

This is a nearly faithful rendition of Richie Valens' original hit, which was based on a Veracruz folk song. But where are the castanets? The original is better, a true classic, but this one isn't bad. It's simply... unnecessary. It was done for a movie about Valens, so I guess it was sort of "necessary" in that way. Skip this one and go for Valens' version.

"I Just Can't Stop Loving You" -- Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett -- September 19, 1987

This is from the Bad album, which I did not like in 1987 and continue to not like now. I find this song extraordinarily dull. Whitney Houston and Barbra Streisand both turned it down, and I'm not surprised. This song weirdly makes me think of The Love Boat. Like it belongs in a television series. It's legitimately bad. When do we get to Janet again?

"Didn't We Almost Have It All" -- Whitney Houston -- September 26, 1987

I think the narrator in this song is trying to get an old flame back. It's a pretty melody, and the lyrics are wildly repetitive but not bad, but I can't get past Houston's oversinging. Anyone who doesn't mind that will probably enjoy this song.

"Here I Go Again" -- Whitesnake -- October 10, 1987

I wonder what makes one feel a song is "horribly overplayed" vs. just "played probably too much but I'm fine with it." This song is the latter for me. It's a really good song, so obviously that's part of it. The beginning is thoughtful and searching, with an organ and everything (or probably a synth on the organ setting), and has that same spiritual feel as "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Then in come the guitars, which are awesome. It absolutely rocks, and the emotion is of "like a drifter I was born to walk alone" is amplified by the rock, rather than buried under it.

"Lost in Emotion" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- October 17, 1987

Lisa Lisa does not sound like a police siren in this, thankfully. And I got frozen on this song because I listened to it over and over and managed to feel absolutely nothing about it. I guess she's falling in love with a friend and worried she's telling him too much, and I should identify with this because it's happened to me more than once. But I don't. I like the bass line, and it's updated Motown, so I should like that. But again, I feel nothing. Maybe it's the way Lisa Lisa sings it. I don't know, and I've wasted far too much time on something I cannot make myself care about in any way.

"Bad" -- Michael Jackson -- October 24, 1987

I think the Bad album is bad. Actually bad, as in not good. I was 11 when this hit #1, so everything in the universe embarrassed me, but this stood out. I no longer knew anyone who liked Michael Jackson. I certainly didn't. In my opinion, Jackson had exactly one good album in him, and that album was Thriller. Thriller is one of the greats. Bad is blah.

"I Think We're Alone Now" -- Tiffany -- November 7, 1987

I wonder what makes stations decide to play #1 hits and what makes them decide not to. I don't remember hearing this much at the time, and never after. It's a cover of a 1960s song that was never that great, and it's worse here. In 1967, the "ooh we're alone gonna do something naughty" idea was still edgy. In 1987 -- are you kidding? Madonna's tearing up the charts in 1987; what on earth is this thing doing on it? It's an annoying song, annoyingly sung.

"Mony Mony" -- Billy Idol -- November 21, 1987

I had to do aerobics to this in middle school. Next!

"(I've Had) The Time of My Life" -- Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- November 28, 1987

This is one of those songs I can't really evaluate because it feels like background music to my life. Not that it was ever particularly important to me -- it's not. But it's sort of like "Eye of the Tiger", movie song and all. Medley and Warnes are well-matched on the song, and they do a great job. I wish the music were more interesting, but well, movie ballad. It's a good one for what it is. By the way, Dirty Dancing is another movie I've managed to never see. For no reason -- I might even like it. But somehow, it's never come up.

"Heaven Is a Place on Earth" -- Belinda Carlisle -- December 5, 1987

Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Yes. I love everything about this song. It's a big and unashamed dance power ballad about how great love is, and the lyrics are simple but powerful. But I have  a question: What the heck is up with the video? It looks like she's being inducted into a cult, not like she's in ecstasy over great romantic love. Well, it was the 80s, the videos usually didn't have anything to do with the songs. Still, weird.

"Faith" -- George Michael -- December 12, 1987

I've known the lyrics to this song since it came out, but I never registered them before. Only "I gotta have faith, faith, faith." I remember the video, though, with its prominent focus on George Michael's butt. I'm watching the video now, and huh, there's a basically naked woman in it too. That, I didn't remember, because it wasn't relevant to my interests. Anyway, the lyrics are about how the narrator needs a break from relationships so is not gonna have sex with this hot woman. Sure, George, that's why. Ahem. Sorry, we didn't know then, and it doesn't matter one bit anyway, because the singer is playing a role. It's a fun song for which the lyrics don't matter at all.

BEST OF 1987 -- "With or Without You" by U2  WORST OF 1987 -- "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" by Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett