#i know there are ways to preserve/make stuff work but obviously that doesn't prevent something from slipping through the cracks

[crazysodomite]

one of the devastating things to happen to the internet is the shutting down of flash

[ralbeleren]

I have to admit when I was reading over this list yesterday I thought Day 1 would be the hardest but it turns out that Day 2 is even harder and I sat here agonizing over the decision and trying to contextualize to myself what I felt made a "favorite" lead character. More on the criteria I used below!

That being said... my pick for favorite lead character would be Khai, from Theory of Love. (Beware: Spoilers Below)

This ultimately was an incredibly difficult pick. When I first started digging around I listed about every lead character I even liked. I had to find some way to narrow it down and ultimately, I think it had to do with 1) how the character was portrayed and 2) the arc that he went through.

It's hard to choose a favorite without thinking a little bit about what their part in the story is. Some leads--like Mork from Fish Upon the Sky--don't really have much going for them. They're too perfect, too ideal, or lack any kind of personality outside of their affection for their potential partner. I feel like perfect relationship partners can be a little boring and so eventually I was able to use that to clear out a lot of leads that I did like but lacked a certain something when it came to the surrounding narrative.

Khai is obviously far from perfect and he's definitely not boring. Even early on, you get the feeling of Khai's deep adoration for Third. Even when he's doing things that hurt him--intentionally or not--I always get the feeling at least a little that in his own mind he thinks he's doing what is best for Third and preserving their friendship. (Somewhere I have an essay about some of the things Khai does in the first half of ToL (show only) and how even though he might not know the extent of Third's feelings until later are all soft rebuffs and gentle redirections).

But I guess to really dig into why Khai is the lead I chose for my favorite, you have to talk about his redemption tour. Khai I feel is a flawed but well meaning individual, he hurts Third in a lot of ways both on accident (womanizing, flaunting relationships, not wanting to be more than a friend) and on purpose (trying to "land" Third because he thinks he might have feelings, deliberately misunderstanding his confession, the scene where he kisses Third and calls him by someone else's name while saying he loves him... ugh)--but I think in his mind some of the on purpose stuff he'd think is "for Third's own good" because Khai doesn't like him like that (more on this) and he's trying to help him get over his feelings.

But Khai does like him like that. I have some theories about when it started but nothing relevant. And when Khai does realize that and his friends advise him how deeply he's already hurt Third/that Third is trying to move on, Khai makes it a mission to make up for the hurt he's caused. I feel like Khai's revelation and then desire to turn himself into the type of person who does deserve a love like Third has for him is one of the more compelling plot lines in a BL. Usually, the factors preventing a relationship are external, or internal in a way that deal with coming to terms with sexuality (which there is some of that for Khai as well but not really when it comes to making up with and getting together with Third), but I liked how it was internal with coming to terms with how much he'd hurt his friend and what he'd need to do to make amends and prove that he wasn't going to treat Third like all his strings of ex-girlfriends.

I just want to mention one of my great turning points for him was that scene in the train station. There's something very very very telling about the type of devotion and willingness to try and be better that's encapsulated in that series of scenes, even though he's being ignored, and abandoned, and tossed aside--he still stays, waiting.

There's something I feel very compelling and warming about a level of commitment like that. Not only to get over his own fears but also work hard to work on himself, to really prove that he can change--and does change. I think Khai is a very interesting character and of course, the portrayal of him by Off is absolutely fantastic. I think he's one of the more complex and interesting characters I've seen as a lead.

Just for a fun bit of trivia the runner ups for this were: Pete from Dark Blue Kiss, Chonlatee from Tonhon Chonlatee, and Kevin from I Miss You When I See You.

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Hamilton!firstprince au

(cross posted from twitter with a couple of edits b/c i couldn’t make them there)

in which i loosely follow the plot of hamilton except its firstprince and alex and henry get a happy ending. inspired by the striking similarities i noted between our favorite first son and his namesake hamilton in the broadway musical

the similarities:

both have/will have a political career

both often talk too much/don't mind their words

both began as lawyers

both extremely motivated but overwork themselves (“nonstop” +  “you have a fire under ur ass for no good goddamn reason)

both had some sort of sex scandal that impacted their career plans

hamilton speculated to be bi

the story

the setup of the colonized country alex lives in is similar to the usa vs england but fictional bc alexs race would have limited his opportunities in america's early years

idk names for either of these countries so its now the colony and the motherland

alex + his mom live alone in the poorer southern part of the colony

but his dad + june live elsewhere + they dont rly contact e/o (tho they do know of e/o’s existence)

june becomes a journalist who writes important pieces abt independence

when alex comes of age his mom reveals she used to be part of the rebellion

thats actually why his dad left to raise june bc it was too dangerous

his parents met in the rebellion but oscar left first for june while ellen stayed until she realized she was pregnant w alex

ellen still has some rebel contacts but she mostly sheltered alex to keep him safe

now tho alex decides to join too + the rebellion sends him up north to the capital for an education bc he's smart + they need people like that

he attends uni + meets like-minded people there

tension grows btwn the colony in the motherland, and alex + his friends write/speak out often and this goes on throughout their schooling

they’re also troublemakers in general too, much to the annoyance of the motherland soldiers stationed in the capital to prevent rebellion

henry is one of those soldiers

he's from a noble family in the motherland but was sent overseas as the sort of black sheep of the family due to his sexuality

the idea was to let him be in charge in the colony + reestablish a reputation there w/o embarrassing the main family back home

henry hates his job + feels bad for the colonists but still does what he's told anyway

alex + fhis riends like to bug motherland soldiers for fun

nothing  enough to put their lives in danger too much (although yes that too esp when drunk)

henry becomes a favorite target of alex's bc he's awfully stoic + statue like + on the way to uni - overall fun to antagonize 

there's also the fact that alex is angry at all the soldiers for oppressing the colony + holding up the motherland monarchs tyranny (but also alex just is the type to fight literally everything and anything) 

it becomes almost a daily ritual for them to argue 

henry wonders why this colonist keeps on picking a fight w him but soon almost looks forward to it

many of the other soldiers know or speculate why henry is in the colony but none make the effort to get to know him; some even call him arrogant or undeserving of his position

alex doesn't 

of course alex also doesn't know him

and alex hates him

but he doesn't whisper behind henry's back

henry comes to read some of the essays alex publishes speaking out against the monarchy + also hears alex speak to crowd in the square

alex is a talented + charismatic public speaker

henry finds himself growing increasingly sympathetic to the colonists cause

at the same time he and the other soldiers are order to be stricter and dole out more punishments

the others gleefully do so which makes henry concerned about alex's safety bc alex often seems to have no self-preservation skills

henry asks alex for a word when he's alone 

“am I in trouble?” “no but you bloody will be if u keep going on like this” 

“this is serious” “so am I” “you can't go around saying things so openly you'll get yourself killed”

alex tries to leave at this point “I think I'll be ok” but henry shoves him against the nearest wall 

“listen to me! stop acting like this is a game! ur putting ur sodding life in danger! I dont bloody care what ur opinions r but why must u declare them around enemy soldiers? how is this helpful 2 ur cause? u cant fight if ur dead” 

“you'd b surprised how effective martyrs are” 

cue enraged henry noises 

alexs gaze turns hard “listen i  appreciate/the advice” he says sarcastically “but I dont need an enemy telling me what to do. I can take care of myself” 

there's a stirring in alexs chest after he removes henry's hand and stalks off that he's pretty sure is anger

like it can't be anything else 

while alex is trying to convince himself of that, the tensions boil over + soon the two sides are on the brink of war then the fighting starts

henry + alex don't talk much for a while bc they're both busy on their sides preparing

school is on hold during the war so alex + his friends are looking to serve + bring glory to their names 

alex esp is recognized for his intelligence + becomes the recognized general rafael lunas secretary

luna is the george washington figure in this case who is impressed by alex wants him as his right-hand man

alex is disappointed his role is not on the battlefield bc he knows he has a good tactical mind + he could change the tide of a losing war + gain honor and status thru it, which would put him in a good position to be elected in the future

as secretary, alex is in charge of a lot of important correspondence eg for more supplies + men, so the motherland soldiers figure ambushing him off the battlefield would make things hard for the colonists

henry overhears this plan + immediately worries for alex's safety but he's cornered by another soldier to talk strategy + misses the chance to take out the men then

henry manages to catch that they're going to attack alex at night when he leaves + henry arrives just in time to kill them in a panic

alex hears the gunshot + yells “drop ur weapon”, drawing his own gun

henry obviously does + alex inspects the scene he keeps a gun fixed on henry

“what's going on?” he asks, eyeing henry w/ suspicion

henry explains everything + looks positively terrified bc he just betrayed his side even tho the motherland and his family has treated him like shit since he came out but still. 

becoming an outright traitor is not something henry ever planned + leaving behind everything he's ever known w no hope of ever going back is terrifying

but he also doesn't regret protecting alex

alex questions henry but can quickly tell henry is sincere + is telling the truth

henry explains his change of heart + they have a heartfelt moment in/just outside luna's office.

alex almost died + henry just switched sides, emotions are running high and they escalate into a kiss. the moon is out + it's all very romantic but they don't admit their feelings yet

soon after they go to luna, explain the situation + talk w the other generals/people in charge

henry is sent away on an assignment + is watched closely at first but he proves his loyalty quickly

henry and alex write letters back + forth that turn into love letters 

besides managing correspondence for luna, some of alexs ideas of sneak attacks/stealing supplies help turn the tide of the war andhe also writes to other countries for foreign aid

eventually the colonists win in this huge up start that no one anticipated bc the motherland is known as the most powerful country in the world

he + henry reunite in the capital of once the war is over

alex finishes up his studies + practices law + soon is chosen to be part of the new lawmaking body

things are going pretty well for alex w his legal + political success and his relationship with henry

they dont live together but theyre dating tho no one else knows

alex pretends to be single instead + says he doesn't want to be tied down

it works while he's still in his early 20s but as he gets closer to 30, people start to find it strange + tell him he needs to settle

being married to his work is also not a valid excuse anymore

it turns out alex made quite a few political enemies due to his strong opinions that he always vocalises + can be unwilling to compromise on

they don't like his ideas or more often hate him and hence his ideas too

they look for some dirt on him bc atm he has lunas support which has a lot of sway + decide they need to find out why he hasn't married

they manage to find out about henry + threaten to tell the public

alex is obviously distraught re the consequences personally + politically

so alex and henry discuss what to do 

henry is willing to put alexs political career 1st but firmly explains their relationship can't continue if that's the case

henry gave up his whole life + any possibility of going back to his family so he's not willing to be someone's dirty little secret  

alex doesn't know what to do so he goes to consult luna who he's become very close with over the years

luna is not quite old enough to be his father but he's like an uncle + he always calls alex “kid”, much to alex's annoyance

but alex knows he'll have some good advice

alex + luna end up having a long conversation

like washington luna has always been very vocal abt his regrets re his naivety + desire for glory back in his youth

hes always said that this was his greatest regret in life. but then he tells alex like he had another great regret in life- letting go of the love of his life

alex is surprised bc luna's never mentioned anyone special

“who is she?” 

“he” luna corrects “he was my best friend. we had something a relationship but it was short-lived bc I decided I wanted to join the military + attain glory. i thought thats what i wanted in life. turns out that stuff is meaningless w/o anyone to share it w. nor did I even achieve it. perhaps i did accomplish some things but now in my retirement I have no one by my side. i have found that life is meaningless without love and family.  

“i tried to find my friend to reconnect after all these years even as simply friends but he died in the war. alex, I see many similarities between us. don't make the same mistake that I did, alexander. glory + lasting legacy mean nothing if you're alone in the end

“if you make choices that are motivated by love and family you will be a lot happier”

alex takes his advice even though he kind of hates sort of giving up to his enemies

he decides to choose henry and his own happiness over politics bc in the end he's done a lot of good work and that much is enough

also his enemies probably would try to blackmail him throughout his career if he was doing something against their interests

so he + henry leave the capital and move uptown and the two of them have a quiet retirement + engage in philanthropy for the rest of their lives

separately they've amassed a decent amount of money - henry kept a portion of his inheritance despite being unofficially disowned and alex made a lot of money as a lawyer and then politician

as it turns out alex still has a tangential role in politics when some of his former allies go to him for advice

all in all, alex happy with his final decision to be with henry and step away from politics

the two of them live happy and full lives together

[jyndor]

Oily skin anon here...Yeah, effaclar is great and not too stripping like a lot of acne products can be. I've tried the cleansers and the salicylic & glycolic acid serum. Unfortunately, the moisturizer is nothing special. Honestly, I've never had much luck finding a decent moisturizer. I'm currently using one of the toleriane line, which at least doesn't have fragrance. As for sensitive, red skin anon, I know they have a cream for rosacea and my mother uses one called kerium for red and flaky skin. She seems happy with it!

hi again anon! love talking acne and oily skin, and I don’t do it enough smdh. so lets talk moisturizers because they are important as fuck and often misunderstood by like everyone, especially people with oily skin. this is something that imo can exacerbate skin concerns and make oily skin oilier/dry skin drier/etc. so I’m gonna talk a bit about WHY they are important and then I will get into what different skins might need, and what you might consider trying.

the main purpose of a moisturizer is to lock in moisture (lol) and prevent transepidermal water loss (water evaporating through your skin’s top layers, aka your epidermis). without getting too technical, your skin has this handy thing called a moisture barrier/acid mantle that is integral to maintaining healthy skin. our skin’s barrier is naturally acidic due to sebum production (so oil) and sweat, around a 5 pH, to protect our bodies from viruses and bacteria.

so when we talk about stripping our skin of its natural oils, you know that squeaky clean feeling? that’s bad. it’s actually damaging your moisture barrier, making your skin more alkaline and leaving your skin vulnerable to germs and irritation. this is very common in dry skin, but people with oily, acne-prone skin have been sold so much nonsense for ages - the charcoal masks, baking soda cleansers and exfoliants, pore strips etc all spring to mind - and so often they will strip their skin’s natural oils and then send their sebum production into overdrive to compensate. this is why many people with oily skin actually find introducing certain kinds of oils into their skincare helps control oil production - sort of like tricking your skin into thinking it already made enough oil.

and to be clear, all skins need a good balance of water and oil - in fact this is what decides your skin type.

when skin is dry it lacks oil. normal skin has a equal balance of water and oil. oily skin has too much oil. combination skins have some areas that are one type and others that are another type. sensitive skin is also a skin type and it tends to be dry. your skin type doesn’t really change, although as we age our skin does produce less sebum over time. this is why people with oilier skin tend to look younger.

all skins can be sensitized and dehydrated - think moisture = oil and hydration = water. these are conditions, not skin types, because they can go away with treatment. my skin is always going to be somewhat dry even if it needs less oil during the summer and through good skin care. thanks genetics XD

if I don’t drink enough water, my skin will look crepe-y and older because I am dehydrated. thanks to environmental factors like pollution, stuff I put into my body, my stress levels, allergens, the amount of sun I get, etc - my skin can get more sensitized and irritated. when we deal with that stuff, the condition goes away (until the next time).

so all of that out of the way, what do the skin types need in moisturizers? so all of this is variable and depends on what other products are being used.

dry skin needs an oil-based moisturizer, non-negotiable. dry skin NEEDS to feed that acid mantle to prevent irritation, infection, etc. a thicker ointment is a great option for dry skin (like the cerave healing ointment I stan, it’s very lightweight and doesn’t have lanolin so it really is great for all skins). normal skin needs a good balanced moisturizer, often a light cream as opposed to an ointment or a lotion.

oily skin needs LESS oil in a moisturizer than dry skin does. that doesn’t mean NO oil, and again I do think that some topical oils are beneficial to oily skin, but generally speaking a lighter, water-based lotion is going to be better.

some moisturizers that I recommend for oily skin (besides the cerave healing ointment):

neutrogena hydro boost

dermalogica active moist - I am certified in dermalogica and while I don’t love all of their moisturizers I think this one is great. oily skinned folks lucked out.

glow recipe pink juice moisturizer - I actually have a mini bottle I use during the day under my SPF because my facial skin is pretty balanced at the moment. this does have fragrance but I am not opposed to fragrance by default (does the fragrance have other purposes - ie preservative, does it irritate my asthma, obviously do I have issues with that particular brand, etc. I want to talk about why fragrance (and other ingredients tbh cough parabens) isn’t inherently evil at some point because it’s all a matter of labeling practices, and clinique - a fragrance-free brand I worked for which works so well for so many people, is a NO NO for me)

I have also heard really good things about the cerave hydrating hyaluronic acid serum as a moisturizer for oily skin but I haven’t used it myself YET. if it is at all similar to my beloved b-hydra serum by (blegh) drunk elephant (eurghhh) then it’s a go.

belif aqua bomb is a good one, too

clinique’s dramatically different hydrating jelly is probably my favorite product from when I worked for the brand

on rosacea, I want to be clear that because rosacea is a medical condition it is important that if someone thinks they might have it they go to a medical professional to get it diagnosed and treated clinically. same thing with cystic acne (lol not to be a total hypocrite).

here are some really good videos from two actual dermatologists online who I really respect:

dr dray (so a lot of her videos have sponsorships but like who cares, she is clear about it and a dermatologist) -  best oily skincare (sponsored by walmart i know guys but like it’s a good video), 10 best products from lrp, best sunscreens for oily skin

dr vanita rattan (specialized in skin of color) - oily skin moisturizers, cleansers for oily skin, best sunscreens for oily skin, all of her videos omfg

anyway wow hope this helped!