#i know the quality is bad ;w; its the best i could manage at 3am with my phone

[daftpatience]

yall wanna watch me do a craft??? cus i did a craft and im really happy !!

[bjrdonghyuck]

Producer, Producer - Haechan

Requested; uh,,, kinDA idk it’s dedicated to @hyncks  though uwu ♡

Genre; producer reader, fem to male trans reader, lgbt+, idol haechan, angst to fluff, bullet because gAh ihavenotimetowritelatelyhhhhhhhhhimsupersorry

Summary; when it gets leaked that one of nct’s producers is trans, havoc ensues, what would be even more scandalous would be if they found out said producer was dating one of the nct members. 

Warning; transphobia, homophobia, if you’re either leave nOW, slight angst ig, word vomit, unedited. 

lmao this is reALLY bad but it’s the best I could do in 45 minutes :’) 

gay trans producer + haechan being a cute boyfriend

dONE 

jk its late and my brain gave away it’s last braincell trying to set up a desk lamp

sO

You were a producer for nct and all the guys were so loving and supportive you busted some uwus. 

they lowkey thought you were cute and you miGHT have awoken the gay in them

taeyong and mark were always thankful that you seemed to never sleep (not in a bad way idk how to word thisnjwnvjnd) so that when they woke up at 3AM on a wednesday and called you to throw song lyrics at you, you were already ready to write them down and get to work. 

you were young though,,, like,,, too young to understand some of the things Taeil says

so you stuck around the dreamies!

because lowkey you found haechan vry vry vry vry VRY cute

but only lowkey y’know

you’re whipped

but you never talk to him because how could i talk to someone that perfect without getting flustered?????? 

so you hang around the dorms to compose songs with mark and try to build up the courage to talk to haechan

but that never happens so it’s just composing with mark and hanging out with everyone but haechan

but every time you even sneak a glance at him you bust an uwu, are struck with motivation, and get mega inspired to write about his ANGELIC looks

so you had been their producer since chewing gum

and mark had noticed all your weird glances about a month after their final promotion

boi figured shit out

and suddenly you were forced to attend their friday night movie binges and somehow always manage to get shoved right up next to haechan

which mean you gotta keep your eyes very focused on whatever’s playing, get flustered, turn very red, and try not to explode

one night they managed to convince you to sleep over after movie night had run late and they deemed it unsafe for you to return to your home

BUT GUESS WHAT

you’re shorter than all the boys

and you want to know who’s shortest out of all the boys? hAECHAN

so guess who’s clothes were forced into your arms by the evil satan in the dorms, Mark?

hAeCHAN’s

you didn’t know that though

you thought they were mark’s or some shit

so after changing you went into the living room because, ‘sleep over on the living room floor’ was jeno’s theme for the night

mark was like uwuwuwuwuwu

the boys were like isn’t that haechan’s?

haechan was one flustered boy 

really flustered

the way his clothes hung off you? adORABLE

those sweater paws you were rocking weren’t helping him either

you, clueless, plopped down next to mark and whiNED about how his clothes were way to big

“those are haechan’s.”

you shut up real quick

flustered times 3847897859239084

you were pretty sure even your feet were blushing

and from that night things eSCELATED

suddenly you found yourself sitting to haechan on your own, playing games with him and before you new it, you were victim to clingy and cuddly haechan

not that you were complaining

a few months later he would make frequent stops to your studio to make sure you were taking care of yourself

if you were composing at the dorms he would stay up with you as long as he could to keep you company, admiring your features and cute glasses framing your face

did he ask you out during chain era? yes, yes he did. 

nct members fawned over you two daily

one of the old nct managers was fired after some issues and left quite angrily

the next day you woke up to 847 messages and 23 missed calls

damn ig you really can’t sleep without missing something

of course you called back haechan first

“HOLYFUCKY/NTHEYKNOWYOU’RETRANSANDAREFREAKINGOUT!!!!”

‘haechan w h a t?”

basically the whole company was in shambles

toxic fans everywhere were freaking out because the producer of nct’s music was trans?

suddenly people didn’t like it?

because you were trans?

whatthefuckm8

people saying your music was shit was really starting to get to you after a couple days

you were told to stay in your apartment for a while and stay low so,, no haechan

hate just kept rolling in and you felt bad because it was affecting all 18 members, not just you

sm was probably going to fire you too

so you just layed in a puddle of sadness and angst, in the dark, without internet, and alone

good shit

nct was panicked because ummm where’d our producer go, sm sunbaenim :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

haechan was extremely mad with nctizens aND allkpop for their very creative title, “nct producer revealed to be used-to-be-woman-now-man nctizens are demanding answers, all nct songs revealed to be horrible” which made him lose so many braincells he had to borrow some from lucas

he finally managed to sneak off to your apartment to find a lump on a bed

got right to work patching you up and helping his wonderful boyfriend get back on his feet

got you fed, hydrated, cleaned, and charged up within an hour and thirty minutes

got soft while drying your hair because you were trying so hard not to fall asleep it was adorable

then had mixed emotions when you opened a jar he couldn’t open with ease

made sure you knew that your music was perfect in all ways humanely possible before encouraging you to continue writing songs

shooed your thoughts of transphobic people on the internet from your head

and then got to work

he found a picture that shipper!mark had taken where you two were playing video games together and you were sitting in his lap while his arms wrapped around you

low quality and all, no editing, haechan uploaded it to instagram, no caption

did you two get hate? yes

did sm fire you? no

you two were too valuable to loose lmao

after a while they calmed down

it’s not like you shoved it in their faces

haechan was scolded but ehHH

it was worth it for you

he made sure to make you feel confident in yourself and your gender

because fuck those haters

you are perfect in all ways and he wouldn’t have you any other way ♡

[junkandgadgets]

Of Hollow and Empty Love.

A little one shot I did in one hour at 3AM, excuse the low quality angst but I hope you enjoy. This was cross posted on Archive and Fanfictionnet.

Essentially a ‘What-If?’ scenario of the end of DR3 where Kyoko remains dead. I also haven’t seen DR3 in a long while so I apologise if something seems off.

It wasn't uncommon to see Makoto alone now, sometimes staring into a wall with a distant look in his eyes and his brain in a distant slumber, sometimes acting like he wasn't even there and sometimes refused to respond to anything in the outside world.

It pained everyone.

But most of all, it pained her.

Dear, Komaru Naegi. The little sister of the Ultimate Hope. A less than normal girl with a less than normal life.

It pained her because her brother had been in such a state for nearly a month, the brother she desperately wanted to reunite with after all these years. She wanted to see him again, hear his voice just to confirm he was here and not some sick fantasy conjured by the atmosphere of paranoia and despair.

But everything was fine.

The world was healing.

And the haunting's and ghastly shrill laughter of despair was fading like a warm summer breeze.

She couldn't lose him, not now, not when she couldn't even find their parents.

She promised after all.

"Hey, Makoto?"

No response, not even a slight motion to acknowledge her existence. The room was almost silent, the beeping and light breathing being the only thing to break it. The whiteness and the smell of disinfectant only added to her unease, her hairs on end.

She could just barely manage a weak smile as she sat down on a chair next to his bed, setting down a bouquet of flowers on the table next to him. "It's me... Can you hear me?"

A broken laugh escaped her mouth, even as Makoto did nothing but stare.

Stare.

At.

Nothing.

"I wanted to see you again, its been a week but I wanted to see how you were doing and let you know what's going on." She looked out of a window, it was so bright it felt unnatural. But she was just so used to the hellish red that she forgot what normal even looked like. "Umm... Well, the construction of Hope's Peak is going well still, there still hasn't been any accidents or even any attacks, which is good. I'm also getting to know your classmates!"

...

"Well, I already know Byakuya... And I'm still not entirely sure what Touko see's in him to be honest, he's kind of a jerk. Mr Yasuhiro is really funny though! He saw me looking down the other day and decided to cheer me up and gave me a free fortune! He said 'Everything will get better soon, just not the way you expect it!' Toko said I shouldn't listen to him because his fortune telling is 'fake and scammy' and even if it was real 'it's only a 30% chance of it being accurate.' Well it's still better than nothing right?"

...

"I also really like Aoi- Hina! She's so sweet and she's been happily listening to my problems, she even gave me some donuts to cheer me up as well. But..." A hesitant pause. "I... Don't have the guts to tell her about Yuta. I think- I think Touko is going to tell her. I think its better that way, you know?"

...

"Speaking of Touko, we're going to go on another expedition to Towa City tomorrow! I still haven't given up on mom or dad yet, I know they're still in the city... Somewhere! And- And!"

...

"...And I really want you to be there for when I return with them, I want us to be a happy family again."

...

"And I... And I want you to be like you were... Like you... You were..."

Everything was getting blurry, she could feel her cheeks warming up as her tears began to pour down her face.

A family.

That's all she wanted.

Just to be a family again...

She let out a few hiccups, not hearing the door open and a set of footsteps come closer towards her. "I know you miss- miss her. Everyone else misses her too, and she... She must of been so important to you for you to be like- like- Makoto!"

It felt like a dam had burst.

"I wish- I wish I got to know her... As well!" She hiccuped. "She sounded, sounded like an amazing per- person. And to see you like... Like this hurts because... Because..."

"Komaru..."

She turned towards Touko and immediately hugged her, ignoring her startled hiss and ignoring how ugly she must of looked right now. "If I could bring Kyoko back, even just for a few minutes, just to see you smile-!"

"...Hey, Komaru..."

"I- I know! I know Touko! I just..."

"Come on... I know you'll stain my clothes, but if it'll make you feel better you can let it all out."

"Auuugh... Waaaaaaahhhh!"

Even as she cried, even as Touko held her closest and only friend tight and did her best to comfort her.

Makoto.

Still.

Didn't.

Respond.

"Hey~! What's with all of the commotion? Did we miss something?"

Jack's curious question snapped her out of her deep thoughts which still lingered on such painful memories, Komaru looked up from her gun to see a crowd of people. Most of them were builders and other agents from Future Foundation, others were people she recognised such as Yasuhiro and Aoi. And, for whatever the reason, they were all crowded around the entrance of the academy.

Did something happen?

"Shall we check it out?"

"What, and just stand around like a bunch of Monokuma's without a purpose?" Jack asked. "Go on! I want to see what's happened!"

So they began to walk towards the crowd, and began to hear individual voices that began to occasionally overlap each other like a really bad choir.

"...Real?"

"...-Is it possible?"

"-Alright but-

"-He hasn't properly coped."

...?

"Hey Hina!"

Suddenly the crowd was silent, each whisper suddenly died down and sets of nervous eyes fell on her. They all looked at her, startled and almost uncertain. Aoi also shared their look, however her nervousness was more apparent from how she sweated like a child being scolded by their parents.

"Oh, hey Komaru..."

"Hey, what's going on? Did something happen?"

"W-Well... Yes, it's good but-"

"Komaru?"

There it was. A voice, a very familiar sounding voice that sounded similar, yet very different. A kind tone she remembers him having. A voice that made her heart suddenly pound against her chest like it was about to burst.

And suddenly the crowd made sense. The crowd began to shuffle, splitting at the centre to reveal...

To... Reveal...

He woke up.

Makoto Naegi finally woke up.

"Makoto!"

"Kom- Ack!"

She couldn't help herself, she couldn't help but run up to him, lift him up and hug him with all of her might, ignorant of the choked splutters and gasps that came from her brother. Some of crowd tried to pry her off in vain, but she was just...

"Oh Makoto... Makoto... You're back!"

"K-Komaru-"

"Is it really you? Is it?"

"...Yeah, I'm back. I'm sorry I've been gone for so long..."

She put her brother down onto the floor. "I was so- so scared. I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to be alone. Augh... Urghh..."

"I'm sorry. I really am." He paused. "Komaru? I know this may be sudden, but can I introduce you to someone important..?"

"O-Oh? Sure."

Komaru weakly smiled, her cheeks turning red once again, her heart now a flutter and her mind trying its best not to overwhelm itself. Her brother was fine, Makoto was fine-

"I'm sure my friends have told you about her before, but she's been out so you've never really met but-"

...Oh?

Makoto motioned towards his side, and Komaru was expecting to see a woman or another close friend-

"This is Kyoko Kirigiri, she's someone special to me."

Only to see an empty space.

"...Huh?"

Kyoko...? The same Kyoko from his class? One of his important people? The one's who's death broke him?

But... There was no one there.

Makoto let out a nervous laugh, which was when she noticed a pair of blacked studded gloves clenched in his hands. "I'm not entirely sure if I actually introduced you to each other back when I was still a student in Hope's Peak. But this is Kyoko, she helped save our lives back in the Killing Game and is someone close to me." His cheeks turned a faint shade of pink. "She was in a bad state due to the poison, but she's gotten much better now. See?"

He motioned towards the space, this time pointing to somewhere specific. She wasn't entirely sure but...

"Ma... Makoto? What are-?"

"Well? Are you going to introduce yourself?" Makoto asked innocently, seeming unaware of the growing horror growing in Komaru's eyes.

What was going on?

Was he sick?

Was he still out of it?

She opened her mouth, to ask what was going on-

..?

A sharp glare from Byakuya shut her mouth shut.

...

She's... She's read this before, in a romance manga.

It was the story of a happy couple, who were just like any other. But one day something tragic happened with the girl that killed her sister and was in a coma like state for quite a while. And when she woke up-

She acted like nothing bad had happened.

And despite the fact her sister was dead-

She pretended that she was alive. She pretended, just to keep her mental state intact. She carried a bear toy around, and pretended it was her sister.

And... It was something Makoto was doing, right now.

"I..."

She didn't want this.

She just wanted her brother back.

"Komaru?"

"...My..."

But if this was to keep his mental state in check, to stop him from shutting down.

'I'm so sorry Makoto.'

"...Hello, you must be my brother's girlfriend. My name is Komaru Naegi. It's a pleasure to finally meet you Kyoko."

She couldn't bare seeing him shut down again.

She didn't want to be alone, even if it went using selfish reasons.

Even if he had to live in blissful denial for the rest of his life.

[n-ph]

2k16

wow it’s been awhile since i’ve written one of these. i just realized that i totally didn’t write one last year. anyway i dont even know where to begin. 2016 has been an interesting year to say the least. i was rereading some of my old posts and i said omg a lot. the days just seem to go by in a blur nowadays, so i will try to recap 2016 as best as i can. i dont have a word to encompass this year though.

went to seattle in january. tried some really expensive sushi..twice..holy crap. the quality was a1 but man the bill was something else. seattle was nice though. definitely had a san francisco vibe to it, except for when you go to the waterside and look back at all the construction. i guess we kinda ran out of things to do bc on the last day we went to chinatown and the area seemed really dinky. also gained a ton of weight in seattle though u_u

in february we tried 5a5 steakhouse. and let me tell u. it is the best beef i have ever had. it is also the most money i have ever spent on a single meal. oh my god. i dont know if i'll ever be back, but i would like to, some day.

thus far, the semester was pretty okay. let's see..i had government accounting with a moody professor who would throw tantrums whenever no one participated. i also had business law with this old guy who was really lively and fun. i had strategic management with a bryan cranston look alike. the class was really interesting though and i learned a lot and it got me started on reading the economist lmao im so old. i miss having so much free time that came with school. 40 hour work weeks are not the life (even if i barely do anything at work).

went to LA during spring break. and at a good time too bc it was still the soft opening of harry potter world so the lines were v manageable. butterbeer was dope. the entire hogsmeade village just felt so real. had sooo much good food in LA omg. got to see some friends as well. had some of the best steak frites ever.

i cant believe i particpated in asu's talent show this year. much has changed in asu since i joined. it makes me wonder if i was behaving that way when i first joined. it seems a lot more clique-y and high school and drama filled but hey maybe it was that way when i was active but i just never noticed. had many fun lunches with my grand little but man there is a lot of drama in asu and im just glad i wasnt in any of it. i kinda miss the old asu days of staying out late to eat or do nothing at all but also i dont miss it bc i get enough sleep and im a lot more productive without asu lmao. finally ended things with tram for good. maybe things turned out the way they did for the better. the entire friendship was such a roller coaster. im glad its over.

the end of the semester rolled around!!! and i graduated!!!! :') attended my sisters graduation which was pretty boring bc high school students have such a narrow view of life (not to say that college students are any better). attended my own graduation. felt really fortunate to have jessa and anthony there. this one kid in my graudating class gave a speech about accomplishments...and he revealed the wrestling belt he was wearing underneath his graduation gown...and then he made the grads stand up and chant thank yous to the friends and family sitting behind us. it was so embarrassing and extra omg.

shortly after graduation i was on a plane headed back to the motherland. and let me tell u. i hated most of it. it was super hot and humid and my sister and i shared about 100 mosquito bites between the both of us. also. i know i shouldnt but..vietnam is so dirty. i know its not their fault that theyre a developing country but man there are exactly zero sanitation standards and i dont even know why we were there bc the water had recently been polluted so none of the fish were edible and my mom didnt trust the food stands to have clean food either. i guess i made some new friends and visited some cool places but at what cost??? also i think my entire fam got sick bc we slept with the ac on but either way, the meds i took made me lose my sense of smell i think and i couldnt taste or smell anything for two weeks. the ac air also dried out my nose and gave me a skin infection (which i will discuss later). during our trip to danang a small ferry got flipped on the big river and a bunch of ppl died and the government tried to cover it up bc bad publicity etc. they played it off as if only a few ppl died rather than most of the ppl on the boat. our tour guide in danang was in the know tho so he told us everything and w o w that really could've been us on that river bc it was a boat the left the dock about half an hour after our boat left. crazy.

after the long and arduous journey abroad i finally made it back home...and then headed to hawaii. hawaii was dope af. 10/10 would recommend, would go back. battled the tides when we went kayaking and sadly the tides won and i lost my hat but also almost lost my flip flops if it weren't for some kind random strangers who swam out to get my flip flops. we stayed on oahu and maui. hiked up a v steep mountain in oahu. lost my hat from kayaking. got caught in the rain when we went looking for a beach on the first day. had some of the best shaved ice ever. attended my first luau. fell asleep during the first part of a fire dancing show (bc the fire hadnt started yet). essentially pulled an all nighter to try oahu's famous bakery that opened at 3am. flew to maui but due to poor planning we arrived 4 hours earlier than check in lmao. the house we had in maui was so beautiful though omg. it was ocean side so we could hear the waves every night and it just felt so peaceful and tranquil to sit on the balcony in the mornings, just staring out at sea. in maui we went snorkeling. the last time i went snorkeling was like...10+ years ago...in cancun...and the water was freezing...and i also thought i was lost in the middle of the ocean on our way to the snorkeling location... but anyway! the snorkeling this time was so cool omg they had prescription swimming goggles so i could see EVERYTHING. they also provided lunch which was dope. it started raining on our way back to shore though lmao. the next day we drove all the way up the volcano in maui...to find that the top was foggy af and we couldnt see anything. the road up was pretty nasty bc super windy and 10000 ft elevation. it got really foggy after like 6000ft so we basically drove in all fog until the top which was still foggy but also like 20 degrees colder than the rest of maui. maui is super rural omg. we tried to find a place to eat after our trek but there were barely any food places in sight. we picked a random spot in the middle of nowhere and then decided to take the road to hana (which is on the opposite side of where we were staying, and was about 3 hrs away. and boy did we mess up. we took the alternate road there and it was scarier than going up the volcano bc 1) windy 2) small ass roads which were unpaved at certain points and 3) cliff hugging roads..i cant believe i made the drive there and back it was so terrifying omg. not sure if i would go back. at one point there was a big ass cow in the middle of the road. once we got to hana though, the hike was really nice despite the humidity. almost died crossing the river at the end to see the waterfall. all the rocks had big ants on them!!! how was i supposed to cross the river!!! we missed out on the wading pools though but we were so starving by that time. made the 3 hr drive back and everyone was dead. spent the last day on maui not doing much bc rainy and we were all so dead.

about two weeks after i got back from hawaii was training week in sac for my first big girl job. ngl but i felt super homesick that first night. idk why since i would be home by the end of the week anyway. probably just overwhelmed by how fast everything was happening. graduation and now transitioning into a full time job. scary stuff. but i did make a really good friend in sac so it didnt turn out so bad!!! training was pretty fun bc our presenter was pretty engaging. except when we went over the boring stuff and i was v close to falling asleep. did get to catch up with some of my sac friends though which was nice. went to the state fair for the first time as well. it was..exactly as expected but hotter lmao. my family went to san diego at this time bc my sister was going to comic con but i couldnt make it :(

got back from training and started my first big girl job. im not sure what i expected but it was easy but also hard? my first engagement i was only with one other senior and she was super nice and pretty and really good at lettering. i dont feel like i learned much? i only really did the tasks given to me but i feel like half the time i wasnt even sure what i was doing. i also hated the commute all the way back from walnut creek. the going there wasnt so bad bc i got a ride out to oakland but man it would take forever to get home. :'( my second engagement was just me and a partner and i feel like she expected me to know everything...but i didnt know anything...so i mostly sat around a lot??? esp bc she wasnt on site every day so i had zero supervision. :/ towards the end of the second engagement i got an email from the city saying that they were accepting me into their accounting position and i was like oh shit. i ended up taking the job, which gave me a week in between quitting the first job and starting the second, which i used to go back to LA lmao bc i had a season ticket to universal. actually ate at the three broomsticks this time. it was defs filling and i thought it was a good bang for buck. attempted to go to the walking dead tour..chickened out..twice. i probs would've died in there tbh. also went to disneyland!!!! that was lit. their macone-roni and cheese was da bomb. saw world of color for the first time except it was the 50th anniversary edition so it wasnt so great. bumped into the couple that was in jbieb's love yourself video. tried some new food places in LA and saw some old friends, again.

started my second big girl job. all my coworkers are super nice except the big boss is kind of crazy and anal. but we deal with it. my supervisor is so nice :'( work isnt so bad bc i dont do much lmao. the hardest part sometimes is just staying awake if im being honest. getting paid to do nothing is the life tho.

spent my birthday weekend in monterey. we were supposed to go atv-ing but ended up going wine tasting but also not really bc we liked the first wine so much we got a bottle of that to share. it was really cold that weekend surprisingly so we stayed in and then went to this spa place on a whim and it was definitely an interesting experience.

went as a rice bag for halloween and i think that was probably my greatest costume to date. except we ended up going to a party full of white ppl...and i was like the only asian there gdi

tagged along w my sister when she went to sd. got to see many friends!!! went clubbing as well and that was lit. took michelle clubbing for her 21st birthday, also lit. squadsgiving and christmas were super fun. got some supplies for bullet journaling so guess thatll be my new years resolution. but also to take more photos bc i didnt buy that camera for nothing.

okay so in conclusion. i did a lot of stuff this year. it feels like it was mostly all highs. or maybe i just block out the lows but im pretty sure there were way more highs than lows. 2016 was a great year tbh. oh yeah i also passed two of four parts of my cpa exam!!! woot. in 2016, i learned a lot...of accounting lmao. plus i ran my first 5k!!!!! oh yeah and i joined a gym and now im getting swole af. im not sure what my reflections are. i guess, if i were to compare 2k16 kim to 2k14 kim i've for sure come a long ways. i wasnt afraid to try new challenges and conquer them. i stepped out of my comfort zone multiple times, sometimes with the help of alcohol. i got my shit together and really focused in school (which got me a 4.0 during my last year of college). i also got my shit together and studied my ass off for the cpa (which is still ongoing i crey). i really wanna say this was probably one of my best years with everything i was able to do and everything i achieved. so here's to you, 2016, and may 2017 be even better!!!

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself