#i know the canon says they were kinda tribal before valkoriate

[chaoticspacefam]

While I’m slowly wading my way through the OC Masterpost, have some headcanons on how I set up the Sith's views on marriage (and a tiny bit on love, but I can make a whole other post just to elaborate on that tbh so I’m trying not to do it here otherwise it’d be way too long)

Disclaimer: as always, these are my personal lore/headcanons.If you don’t like them, that’s fine, I’m not saying that you can’t make your own, you go do that if you want! If you do like and want to use them, though, you are more than welcome to (some sort of credit/link back is appreciated if you’re using it 100% directly and not y’know, changing it up some!)

Most of these originate from the actual Sith Pureblood species (and by that I mean pre-Valkoriate takeover, a.k.a. Ahaszaai-dynasty too!), but I imagine some of these still “carried over” post-Valkoriate as well. Perhaps not as-is, because hundreds of years of word of mouth + an almost total genocide is bound to mean some info is lost but ya get me right? Long-ish rambly headcanons under the cut. We ready? OK then here we goooo

So, how often do they get married and for what reasons? Is it always political, or is there some love involved? Does it end up being a bit of both? The answer, I’d like to imagine, is it depends on the Sith in question which probably doesn’t clear up much in and of itself so let me explain:

Political marriages are probably very common, y’know to strengthen bonds between particular family lines and/or Spheres of the Dark Council and yadda yadda. Those marriages are more likely to follow rule #2 below because well...that’d be the entire point of the marriage right? BUT genuine, romantic love....That’s something that the Jedi and maybe even a lot of Imperial citizens assume that Purebloods/Sith don’t feel because...that’s kinda how they come across to nearly everyone, especially in public.

And it’s not that they don’t. They do. But a) it takes them a lot longer to get to that point, because that level of deep connection to them isn’t just a fluttery feeling in their chest or even a sense of “home” (it can be both those things, but at it’s core it’s so much more than just that), it’s an all-or-nothing, deeply intense sort of bond that even the Pureblood/Sith themselves has trouble recognising and accepting, because it’s so all-consuming that it’s viscerally TERRIFYING to both parties involved. (in essence, at least)

But assuming that two Sith did marry, what happens then? Who takes who’s name, who gains control of the family’s fleet yadda yadda yadda? So:

1) They marry sort-of in secret, it’s official, but both keep their own/”maiden” (I use the term loosely bc afaik that’s the technical term for it?) names and as far as anyone is concerned, unless they explicitly TELL you they’re married.... They aren’t. Why? For safety; because your enemies (Jedi, other Sith, whatever) cannot use your spouse against you, take them hostage or hurt them to blackmail you, if they don’t know that you have one. Likely, they would tell a few select trusted family members and/or followers, but that’s about it. For example: despite Abaron and Vowrawn being married (likely for a number of decades to a century at least - I need to hammer out their ages in relation to everything still so forgive not having a solid figure), I would say outright that 98, maybe even 99% of the Empire doesn’t have a bloody clue. Abaron is an Ahaszaai in every sense, but never in public and never on the paperwork - as far as they’re all concerned he’s just Abaron, and he just so happens to be one of the Sith Lords that Vowrawn would entrust to be his bodyguard. I imagine next to none of the Dark Council (save for perhaps Darth Marr, I’m concidering it) know they’re even romantically involved much less married. Of the Sith who are left, probably Saarai and Ni’kasi know, and eventually Vano once she works her way into their circle and gains Vowrawn’s trust. Nobody else. Because being aloof and not showing PDA is the best way they can protect each other from being harmed, and they’re both agreed on that. And a lot of people, if they do happen to suspect that something is going on between them (or any other two Sith for that matter) mistake that for being “cold and uncaring” or “not feeling affection”. Aria and Vano eventually, when they marry, double-barrel their surnames. But they too, never drop them in public for the same reason. Vano is always “Wrath”, Aria is always “Canis”. Because even though they’re together all the time, all it looks like to the rest of the Empire (and their enemies) is two allies. Yes, they could still take a shot and potentially use it against them, but the chances of it happening are likely far less than if people were to know they were married for sure.

OR 2) If they do choose to do a name change, whoever has the lowest social status will take their partner’s last name. Whether the people getting married are same-gender, opposite-gender, genderfluid, whatever. Fuck gender norms, there are none. No-one gives a shit what gender you or your partner are, all that matters is who has the most power, the most influence (because even when kids are concerned, they have the technology available to make surrogacy a viable option for those who want to carry on the bloodline and so on). And that person does not, without great debacle (I imagine it’s a great source of drama if it does happen, but most tend to play it safe and just n o t), lower their social status and their influence within the Empire to take on a “commoner’s” name. Most of the time, if the marriage is this public it is either a) political, thus benefiting both of the family lines/Spheres/etc. involved by the entire Empire knowing that they’re officially a thing.  or b) the couple themselves is so confident in the strength of their own powerbase that they are not in the least bit concerned that any enemy or rival can use their marriage against them somehow. Moreso, whoever marries into the higher bloodline will within reason, inherit their spouse’s status and as such, legally, there’s no such thing as “pulling rank” on your spouse...except for matters which concern the entire family (or it’s powerbase and any sub-section of said powerbase) as a whole. In those cases, the Pureblood/Sith who is biologically born of that bloodline has the final say in it; even if it means the husband answering to the wife. Though Kissai took on the Ahaszaai family name and for all intents and purposes became High Lord of the House, D’leah was always the “real” Ahaszaai and she ultimately called all the shots. If she said “jump”, he said “how high”, you get the picture.

That’s not to say that some members would attempt to work their way into a particularly high ranking family so they could take advantage of their social status and that dynamic (Ty’s father, Tsâhis, did to a certain extent, though it wasn’t until after he’d strung Saarai along for a while that he was finally sure she was an Ahaszaai. Had Valkoriate not killed nearly all of the rest of their family and had they continued to be the ruling bloodline he likely would have still gone after Saarai and attempted to gain more power using the Ahaszaai reputation as a sort of...springboard if that makes sense?)

But y’know, as a Sith if you’re going to do this you’d better be prepared and know how to lie and cover it up, because if your spouse or your in-laws find out that you’re trying to undercut them with malicious intent? Well, Sith will be Sith, right? I don’t imagine they take well to “traitors” :’ D

That’s uhhh, the basics?? like I said I have a literal lore document, I have loads more but this is already an info dump and idk if any of y’all are even interested in it so y’know. Testing the waters a lil here to see how this goes?? y’all want more? lol