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nyfacurrent · 5 years ago

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Business of Art | The Arts Administrator’s Creed: 5 Guiding Principles for Your Arts Admin Career

Empowering advice from arts administrators nationwide on how to define and achieve success in your life and work.

Arts administrators work behind-the-scenes on behalf of artists and creatives everywhere, providing resources, support, and structure for their projects and practices. Often, these types of jobs combine a passion for the arts with business, management, education, programming, fundraising, or communications expertise. The work can be highly-rewarding yet also challenging in terms of budget, time, and staff constraints. To help you navigate, we’ve asked leaders in the field for their tips on how to succeed and thrive as an arts administrator.

Manage Your Time

It’s hard not to get stuck in the day-to-day and to lose perspective on the bigger picture. Avoid burnout and fatigue by recognizing that you can’t accomplish everything overnight (or by yourself!) and that there are tools and systems that can help you stay organized.

Many of the arts administrators that we spoke with make lists and use project management and time management apps to keep them on top of their workloads and priorities. Deana Haggag, President and CEO of United States Artists, writes a to-do list every Monday morning and tackles it throughout the week. “On Fridays, I audit what didn't get done and why, so I can resolve it the following week. For reference, we use several project management apps at work—Asana, Airtable, Lattice, Slack, etc—and they're all very helpful but nothing compares to my handwritten list. It's the holy grail of my work week.” Haggag also schedules a few hours each day or week to respond to emails, using a ‘VIP’ inbox to filter through priority contacts so she sees those immediately.

Ben Hartley, Executive Director of The National Arts Club, keeps organization top-of-mind. “Every day, I list my priority projects and make sure they are sitting in front of me at all times. However, sometimes this can be overwhelming, so I also keep on hand a one-page overview of the big things I have to achieve this year. It’s easy to get subsumed by day-to-day detail, but if you’re not stepping back and looking at the big picture once in a while, you risk losing perspective,” he says.

Hunter O’Hanian, Executive Director and CEO of Stonewall National Museum and Archives, relies on two time management techniques: first, he prepares things well in advance and second he is a life-long list-maker who feels a strong sense of accomplishment when crossing off his “to-dos.”

“Figure out what works for you and stick with it,” advises Heather Pontonio, Senior Program Director at Emily Hall Tremaine Foundation. “I’ve tried lots of online note/task apps, but learned that I remember best when I’ve written it down — so my trusty journal notebook comes everywhere with me. I use my calendar app religiously and in addition to appointments, I include scheduled work time when there are projects that require focused attention,” she added.

Adriana Rios, Director of Programs at NALAC, takes five minutes out of every hour to stretch, breathe, or hydrate. “A tool I love using to help keep me accountable is the Focus app, which uses the Pomodoro method. In short, you set a time period (usually in increments of 25 or 55 minutes) around a certain task such as checking emails. For that time period, you focus only on that task. At the end of the allotted time, you have a five-minute break where you can do what you like. Personally, it’s helped me structure my day better and reduce distractions. It has also helped me start structuring my overall time by helping me better understand when it’s time to work and when it’s time to rest.”

Practice Self-Care

You’ll do your best work when you feel good about yourself and the value that you bring to your organization.

A lot of what Rachel Adams, Chief Curator and Director of Programs at Bemis Center for Contemporary Arts, and her curator friends say (especially as so many are now parents) is "we are not saving the world." She explains: “This is not to say our jobs are not important, but it is important to give yourself a little life/work balance. Even if it is to take a quick walk around the block for some fresh air. Or, turn off the computer and go see that show before it closes. Read something non-work related for 20 minutes a day. Building that into your calendar really helps. Block off that time, and you’ll be happier and also can focus better on the tasks at hand when you need to.”

For Pontonio, self-care isn’t just about yoga and eating healthy, it’s about holding time for what makes you happy. “My first job was with an off-Broadway theater that led to taking an additional house management job at another off-Broadway theater to make rent. I justified the 80 hours a week because I was working in a field I was passionate about. My schedule left little time to actually enjoy theatre and on a night off it was not how I wanted to spend my time.”

Jacque Donaldson and Mara Vlatkovic, co-directors and founders of New York-based networking organization Young Professionals in the Arts (YPA), reiterate the importance of keeping your passion for the arts close and not losing sight of it. “We find it vital to remind ourselves time and again why we work in our field. Go see that concert, exhibition, theater piece, or dance performance that will reignite that spark that made you choose your profession in the first place. Knowing that we all contribute to the art world and are helping creatives achieve their potential can be one of the most rewarding jobs!”

For Ricardo Maldonado, Managing Director of Unterberg Poetry Center at the 92nd Street Y, a demanding job goes beyond the 9-to-5. “Admin gigs require one to find a space—between rooms, between tasks—for the kind of creative thinking that eventually nurtures your own creative practices. For example, before I sat down to answer these questions and after spending a good two hours processing submissions for a poetry contest I run, I gifted myself five minutes to think in response to a screen-shot of a poem I read last week and write, for an additional five, my own response. I collect screenshots and lines that I shape into the body of a poem. As a poet and translator, I am constantly surprised at how the language of work—a move toward that language, and against it—has informed the spirit of/behind (and the ethics of) my poems.”

Stay Curious

Making things work better, identifying and tackling challenges, and being interested in the work that you do and the world around you are key to feeling satisfied in your job. “Always find opportunities to learn. We owe it to ourselves to be lifelong students. We owe it to the next generations to pass down our knowledge,” says Quanice Floyd, Founder and Director of the Arts Administrators of Color Network.

Rajshree Solanki, Chief Registrar for the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden and Atelier 4’s first-ever Registrar of the Year, is interested in learning techniques on building and strengthening teams within her organization and providing others with the opportunities she was given earlier in her career (note: she donated her $5,000 award to the Smithsonian Institution’s Office of Fellowships and Internships’ Minority Internship program, which gave Solanki her start). “I tend to read business management books specifically on project management, communications, and team-building. I particularly recommend books such as Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, Kim Scott’s Radical Candor: Be Kickass Boss without Losing Your Humanity, and Dan Coyle’s The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups.”

Pontonio stays curious by proactively keeping up with conference offerings in the field that align with her work. “If there’s something of great interest and I am not attending that conference, I will reach out to the presenter afterwards to schedule a meeting about their presentation and top takeaways.”

Adams recommends inexpensive classes from Node Center for Curatorial Studies or travel scholarships for conferences like Association of Art Museum Curators (AAMC), College Art Association (CAA), and Common Field. “It’s best to get on all the email lists, specifically I like Call for Curators,” she added.

Yeiry Guevara, Grants Manager at Houston Arts Alliance, says her secret for staying up-to-date is newsletters. She recommends joining the mailing lists of Grantmakers in the Arts, NALAC, Americans for the Arts, and other cultural affairs offices, where she can learn from their layout, messaging, and content, in addition to getting relevant information from the field.

JiaJia Fei, Consulting Director of Digital at The Jewish Museum, makes staying informed a priority since success in the digital world means always keeping your eyes open and asking questions. She begins every team meeting with two agenda items to stay informed about industry changes and advancements: 1) Digital Landscape: sharing an outside project or news item from within the field and its application to the work they do and 2) Digital Cross-Fit: asking another colleague on the team a question about something they’re working on or training on a tactical skill, to encourage cross-training and collaboration. “As an added bonus, we have the privilege of working inside an art museum, which makes us all naturally curious and lifelong learners across everything we do,” says Fei.

Hartley suggests a more organic approach, and encourages you to allow serendipity and chance to play a role in your constant learning: “Sign up for LinkedIn groups, newsletters, and news-feeds that don't relate to your work, but may provide sparks for new ideas; be a source, not a drain, if you see an interesting article, piece of research or video, share it with a friend or colleague and tell them why you found it interesting. Ask them what they're looking at these days that's challenging, informative or exciting.”

Donaldson and Vlatkovic also recommend looking beyond the industry to learn from others, citing resources such as The Muse, Harvard Business Review, Inc, and The New York Times’ “Smarter Living” and “Entrepreneurship” sections to find out recent trends. They then suggest learning how to apply and adapt your discoveries and learnings to the arts.

Artist Sharon Louden, who wears many hats in the arts including serving as the Artistic Director of the Visual Arts at Chautauqua Institution, believes that being curious means being open. She also dedicates time each day with a number of sources to explore what’s happening in the industry. “I love taking about 15-30 minutes a day to peruse online publications, blogs, social media to read about what people are sharing, etc. to not only follow the work of colleagues I know personally but also to see the road maps of their lives, which ultimately leads me to unexpected paths of discovery.”

This practice is also highly beneficial to Louden’s work as an artist: “Following a lot of artists' lives tells me a lot about community, how artists sustain their own lives and ideas for opportunities for myself to grow my own practice. That kind of organic research enables me to build more of my community by reaching out to those I discover, perhaps offering to collaborate, and definitely creating spaces and opportunities for others to share as much as possible."

Create Meaningful Relationships

We’re all in this together, so why not establish lasting ties with peers and mentors at your own and other arts and culture organizations? These relationships are mutually beneficial, and can help you chart and map your career path in ways you may not expect.

“A tip that has served me well,” says Maldonado, is “try to learn as much as you can from as many people as you can; if I’m being generous, in most of my tasks, I often remind myself that I am working with/within a language that needs to be tended to. That impulse to learn affects every curatorial decision I had made since the day I started working and pushes me to move beyond the boundaries of what's expected. And has made me a more attentive (and kinder, I would think) administrator.”

It can also be helpful to re-frame the concept of networking. To that end, Donaldson and Vlatkovic wish “we had known at the beginning of our arts admin careers that networking simply means making connections with other people. From volunteering for organizations you believe in, going to industry events, participating in professional development workshops, or even your small friends group that meets monthly over drinks, all that engagement counts as networking! All those connections are incredibly important and will provide support throughout your career, whether it’s friends looking at your resume, acquaintances recommending you for jobs, or former colleagues sending useful articles.”

Adams suggests a proactive outreach strategy, and encourages arts administrators to reach out to people who are inspiring to you. “See if you can buy them a cup of coffee or have a phone call. Mentorship is important and establishing these relationships (whether it’s a cold call/email or through a friend of a friend) will help propel you.”

It’s important to forge meaningful relationships with both your co-workers and with others in the field. “Your team is there to support you in this work, and if not in your immediate workplace there are other arts administrators out there that want to connect. Reach out!” encourages Rios. Guevara concurs: “I am able to succeed because of the immense support of my team and my current leadership. Their sage insight helps ground me,” she says.

Ashley Walden Davis, Director of Strategic Partnerships at Alternate ROOTS, encourages peer-to-peer relationship building. “Your careers will grow together and one day, you will be those executive leaders and the next generation of future leaders. Having relationships with your peers across the field will make it easier to execute the work of organizational partnerships, fundraise, and execute day-to-day operations which by and large takes place in middle management. Furthermore, you will develop lasting friendships with other arts leaders who can help you troubleshoot, talk through ideas, or just share a laugh about drafting an artistic grant narrative about a project three years away. Having a strong accountability and support system is key to a long, healthy, and sustaining career in the arts.”

Guevara is emphatic that peers make the best mentors because “we’re all figuring it out together. The transparency in learning about each other’s process is very validating.”

Be Confident in Your Abilities and Have Fun!

In any industry, self-doubt can creep in. Don’t let it get the best of you by learning to recognize the unique voice and vision that you bring to your work. Says Guevara: “The first step of owning your value is being able to see or acknowledge your strengths,” and suggests that having mentorship can help you reflect on your strengths especially if you may not be cognizant of them.

Louden has affirming advice for artists who are arts administrators: “We as artists have the ability to bounce back from failure like no other in any other field; we can easily create things from nothing and we can problem solve outside of our studio in much the same way as we do when we make things. The way artists think and just naturally do things in the world is unique from people in every other occupation. There is often a disconnect between artists making their work and applying those skills and talents elsewhere in their lives. Since I see artists valued beyond making their work, perhaps the real challenge is for them—us!—to recognize and apply our natural creative talents on a daily basis."

O’Hanian adds: “People often don’t understand their professional values because in many cases we think we should be doing something else such as paint, sing, write or dance—things we really want to do. However, most people I’ve worked with have been very good at their jobs, whether they know it or not.”

Haggag highly recommends that everyone follow Picard Tips on Twitter. “Wow! I stumbled on them a few months ago and had no idea how badly I needed Star Trek's retired admiral Jean-Luc Picard's management tweets in my life. He recently tweeted 'No one can relax around Dr. Jekyll after they have met Mr. Hyde.' In my management experience, has that been true? Absolutely. Or 'Once all their basic needs are taken care of, crew members are motivated by the meaningfulness of their work.' Like, yes! Gospel!”

In Closing

Kristy Edmunds, Executive and Artistic Director for UCLA’s Center for the Art of Performance (CAP UCLA) and the inaugural recipient of United States Artists’ Berresford Prize, provided us with inspiring words to illustrate her belief in arts administrators as change-makers. We’re closing things out with a stanza that we hope propels you forward in your day and in your career:

“Press on, press on, press on! Our cultural charge isn’t fleeting, of this we are certain indeed. Your hand on the wheel is impressive and furtive persistence is key. Press on through the standard of measures. Press on through the spreadsheets and sing! Press on (oh press on) we are counting on you…to care for the cause thus imbued.”

-Amy Aronoff, Senior Communications Officer

Arts administrators in the five boroughs of New York City and surrounding metropolitan area are encouraged to apply to participate in our Emerging Leaders Program 2020. Free of charge to selected participants, the initiative provides leadership training for arts administrators over nine months. Our core objective is to help arts administrators discover, identify, and develop their personal motivation and individual competencies as leaders while exploring the attributes and themes of arts leadership.

This post was inspired by “The Artist’s Creed: 10 Guiding Principles for Your Arts Career.” Published in 2019, it provided empowering advice for artists, distilled from people we admire.

Images: Jenny Kemp (Fellow in Painting ’15), Breach, 2015, gouache on paper; Christie Neptune (Fellow in Interdisciplinary Work ’18), Pulling At My Labels, 2016, single-channel video; and Paul DeMuro (Fellow in Painting ’15), Nailz, 2013, oil on canvas

#business of art #businessofart #professional development #profdev #arts administration #artsadministration #arts administrators #artsadministrators #amy aronoff #amyaronoff #instagram #career advice #careeradvice #announcements

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unpopularly-opinionated · 5 years ago

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Just in case y’all needed some good ol’ evidence that A) my C teacher knows nothing about C (or teaching for that matter) and B) some college teachers are scum of the earth, here ya go:

THE CONTEXT:

Every week we have quizzes on the week’s topic. This week was loops. The quizzes are 10 questions and multiple choice, so like super easy to pass but of course also super easy to fail. I missed 4, and yes I’m admitting up front that 2 of them are 100% my fault, I wasn’t paying attention, but because I missed 4 that means I got a D. I should also mention, the quizzes are automatically graded.

The 2 questions I’m not taking credit for missing though went as follows:

The code on the left is a direct C/P from the quiz. Now, it’s clear what’s meant to happen is it compared myVar (which at the start is equal to 0) to 99 and says essentially “If 0 equals 99, write true. Otherwise, write false.” So the answer that should output is “False”, because 0 does not equal 99.

However, as you may notice, the if-statement is missing another equal sign, so instead of comparing myVar to 99, it’s instead setting myVar to 99, and because it gets successfully set to 99, the if-statement reads that as being true, and so it goes ahead and writes “True” instead of “False”, as is shown in the console on the right.

So, of course, the question on the quiz being “What will output from this code?” I answered with “True”, and of course, that was apparently wrong. I was apparently supposed to glean that this was clearly a typo and answer with what the code should’ve output, not what it actually does output.

The other question:

Again, the code is a direct C/P from the quiz. It’s clearly meant to exhibit a loop that continuously prints until the variable ‘row’ is no longer less than 10. The question here was “What will be the first value output from this code?” and it’s clear that the intended output is that it will print “row = 1″ first, so the answer should be 1.

However, maybe you noticed the semi-colon after that there while-loop. Now ya see, what that does is change the entire meaning of the code, because instead of printing “row = “ every single iteration until row is no longer less than 10, instead it’s taking row, which in the beginning equals 0, and it’s basically doing the entire loop in the background. So essentially, without you being able to see anything, it’s starting from 0 and adding 1 until it’s no longer less than 10, so until it hits 11, and then it’s moving to the next line of code which says to print “row =“ along with whatever ‘row’ equals at the time.

So evidently, the answer should be 1, but because of this typo, the answer is 11. This question actually stood out to me more than the other one because this is a multiple-choice quiz, it’s not like I’m writing in my answers here, and 11 was in fact one of the available answers, along with 1. So I swear it almost feels like they knew you’d answer with 11, as you reasonably should because 11 is the answer, but they did that just to fuck you over, but I digress.

SO OF COURSE, I emailed my teacher as calmly and rationally as I could (after having numerous other issues with him). I basically just said “Hey, the code in these two questions have typos in them, so the quiz marks these answers as wrong even though they’re technically the right answers.” I explained everything pretty much as I did above, included those same pictures, and said “I can’t possibly imagine I’m the only one these will trip up so I thought I would point them out.”

This was his response:

Again, for context, I looked this guy up online on one of those teacher-rating websites. So I knew going in how bad this guy was, unfortunately I just didn’t have any other option. Not to mention, the single most common complaint I’d read was that he likes to go on long-winded off-topic tangents, and I figured being that I’m taking this class online, that wouldn’t bother me because there are no lectures, just reading, so NBD (but as you can tell from his response, this common complaint seems very self-evident).

The other complaint however, that I guess silly me didn’t think would be that huge of an issue is that he refrains from doing any work he deems to be “extra”. Which leads me to this:

I have had some really shitty teachers in my life, the former-shittiest being one who taught an AP-level class on subject matter he was entirely unfamiliar with and he frequently saw zero issues with allowing us to utilize our classmates, our textbooks, or even the internet on tests. In an AP-level class. I say this with no hyperbole, we all got A’s in the class. Not because most of us even learned anything, but because of what was said above along with the added fact that he never graded any of the tests himself, he always left it to students, sometimes students who hadn’t even taken the test themselves yet.

You know what happened to him? He lost his license and works at Costco now. Don’t get me wrong, he was occasionally a nice guy (when he wasn’t throwing chairs at students but that’s another story), and I wish him the best, but I am very very happy that he is no longer a teacher because he was not a good teacher.

But of course, as you might’ve noticed, him being a shitty teacher worked in my favor. This one however, is not. And TBH, I don’t even know what to do. In high school it was easy, we all went and talked to the councilor and principal, because they’re the adults so they need to deal with it.

Now I’m the adult, and I’m the one shilling out hundreds of dollars to fail quizzes because of typos, and to be marked down on assignments for personal preferences that are not listed anywhere on any of the rubrics, and to learn from a guy who brazenly admits to putting zero effort into teaching his class.

Like, I know there’s a whole thing about teachers not making much money. I get it. That sucks. Teachers definitely need to be paid more. But this, this is absurd, and this does not make me want to pay teachers more. This is, as a teacher might call it, a bad apple ruining it for the rest of the bunch.

Theses whole “reusing old assignments from other teachers w/o reviewing them” bit, or the “using an auto-script to grade and never opening the code to read it myself” bit, or the “deeming everything short of pushing the run button on my auto-script as being ‘extra’ and not doing it” bit, or the “acknowledging when a student points out an error on my end that impacts their grade w/o doing anything to fix it” bit...these bits are why college professors are nothing but scam artists.

EDIT: I will add that, I’m giving him until Monday to change my grade. I’m trying to be the good guy here and give him the biggest benefit of the doubt and say “Okay, maybe he replied to my email late on Friday, but he was done w/ his day so he’ll change my grade come Monday.” Or maybe tomorrow, since tomorrow is the due date for it anyways.

But I should point out, that while that might absolve this issue in particular, there are still many many other issues with this “””teacher””” that go beyond this one issue, and I’m still contemplating going to the department head about it, or someone else. Whoever I need to go to about it, because it’s ridiculous that we’re all paying hundreds of dollars for this 40-50+ year-old man to be treating this class like he’s a 16 year-old working at Taco Bell, which quite frankly, is a discredit to 16 year-olds working at Taco Bell.

#random rant #long rant #long post #long #school #college #programming #teaching #scam #big scam #nothing but a scam #the worst scam #the biggest scam #frankly my next step is going to the department head #because fuck else do I do

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sztypography · 5 years ago

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Interviews

DVC Major: Bridget Hassely

1. What would you have liked to know about the DVC program before coming here?

I would have liked to have known how important process books are. For some reason, it wasn't made clear to me we had to keep our process books for portfolio review. I deconstructed my first two books to reuse the folder. After I found out that we needed them, I had to piece back together what I saved and reprint my files.

2. What would you like to know about the professional design world?

I would like to know just how many pathways there are to take with this degree. There are so many options and hearing people talk about their experience with the pathway they chose is very interesting to me.

3. What is the hardest concept in design to understand?

The hardest concept in design for me is using the grid to the best of its ability. I tend to stick with my trusty columnar grid, but I would like to venture out more and get used to using all the different types that might be better for specific projects.

4. Which Adobe program would you like to learn more about? Why?

I want to learn more about Photoshop. We learned the basics in Art 118, but Photoshop has so many more tools that would probably be beneficial to me that I want to learn and understand how to use them.

5. What is the most helpful design tool in your opinion (such as a type ruler)?

The most helpful design tool, in my opinion, is a sketchbook. Documenting your inspiration, thought process, ideations, and reflections is critical. IT gets it out of your head and onto a physical space where you can come back to and expand off of.

6. What keyboard shortcuts do you always forget?

A keyboard shortcut I somehow always forget is the arrow key (selection tool), which is V. Also, why are the shortcuts different between the Adobe programs?!?!

7. What stores would you have liked to know about Freshman year?

I would have liked to have known about the architecture store and the arts and crafts studio.

8. What are some fun design elements you look for in a handbook?

Some fun design elements I look for in a handbook are interactive bits, jokes, imagery, useful tips, and space to answer questions.

9. What driving factor would make you carry around a DVC handbook?

A driving factor that would make me carry around a DVC handbook would be its usefulness. Having information that I could frequently look back to or something that I have to fill out over time would make it more useful for me.

10. What was the hardest part about taking introduction to DVC courses?

The hardest part about taking introduction to DVC courses for me was adjusting to the time commitment that design is. Design is not mechanical and can take many attempts, variations, and refinements. Procrastination is hard to avoid, but giving yourself enough time to work through the design process will make your work so much better.

DVC Graduate: Kayleigh Kvool

1. What are important aspects to include in a graphic designer resume? Is it true that design employers pay more attention to the look of the resume than the content?

All of your skills. All of your experiences, work experience, and other related experiences done through school. I have an exhibit section where I put my DVC2 and DVC3 showcase. If you look at a job description, make sure you have the skills on the resume that they want. Yes, but not totally. It should be very clean. Lots of simplification. You want it to be simple. A lot of resumes go through scanners, and you want it to be legible.

2. Do you have trouble looking for a graphic design job?

I wouldn’t say it is hard. It’s competitive. Put yourself out there and take chances.

3. Do you think the UWM DVC program prepared you well?

Yes. The improvements I have seen in the program has only made it more preparatory for designers. I love the Dream Lab. Professional Practices with Amy was the most preparatory thing ever. I took that class my last semester before graduating.

4. What was your favorite DVC class? Why?

DVC 3 was my favorite. I really thought it was valuable to work in a group. The manifesto was fun. It was the most work, but the work you make in that class you are the most proud of.

5. Which teacher helped you the most in gaining design knowledge?

Robert Grame. He gave me a lot of one-on-one feedback. He kept my ideas focused and doable. I do think it is important to have a mix of people.

6. What places would you recommend for internships?

Union Marketing was basically it. I also got six credits doing it.

7. Do you do freelance work often?

I am open to it. I am still trying to figure out what is an appropriate amount to charge. Everyone tells me to not undersell myself. If I would do freelance for a company, I would charge $40 an hour. The minimum is $20 an hour. If I was still a student, I would charge $15 or $20. Now that I am graduated, I would charge $40 or $45.

8. What is your favorite part about being a graphic designer?

I think that my favorite part is that I get to be creative and make my impact by representing communities. People have a negative outlook on advertising. It is nice to try and make a positive contribution.

9. If you could choose what job you could have right now, what would it be?

It would definitely be with Z2 Marketing as a Design Director. It only requires two years of experience. I am very qualified for it. An art direction position right out of college would be very stellar.

Design Professional or Entrepreneur: Mary Adamczak

1. What is an average day in the office like?

It’s different every day! Each day I have my list of projects to tackle. My time is dictated by the client’s deadline. The hottest project gets my attention first. I also will get interrupted to review other projects that are in the works to discuss with our creative director and other designers. I do have to say my colleague brings his dog to work most mornings which is fun. The dog runs around the office to greet everyone. She also will bounce balloons, like she’s some star volleyball player. The rest of the day she doesn’t make a peep in her kennel, until she leaves for the day. Then we get greeted one more time before going home.

2. Which method do you use most when working with your clients, email or in person conversations?

I would say it’s mostly email. I typically do not present a lot of creative here, but I do attend meetings and will be involved in the discussions of the projects with clients.

3. How long does the average project take?

Hmm, that’s a hard one. I’ve spent hours on jobs and under an hour on jobs. One rough logo exploration could take a couple days - but exploring variations is what takes more time. A 12-page brochure could take 3 -4 days or so for the design only (with copy supplied) A small website (design only), not programming could take 3-4 days (with copy supplied) And this is without interruptions!

4. How would you describe your role as a graphic designer?

I’m a creative / a designer, sometimes a creative director, a project coordinator, print coordinator and sometimes a project manager. So, I wear many hats.

5. Which clients do you work with the most?

We mostly have corporate and tourism clients at the moment. Some projects are ongoing but, some are on a project by project basis. We also have done some specialty hard cover book projects for specialty events and sports teams which is challenging but rewarding in the end!

6. What is the biggest project you ever had?

A corporation that made an acquisition and they needed to send out a bunch of collateral out in 13 different languages. This included a Corporate Folder which housed a letter from the CEO, A Code to Ethics brochure and a corporate brochure. This was a lot of coordination! We had to work with the printer to have it all shipped out to the different countries. Also, working on specialty hard cover books. These are big projects that can take up to a year to concept, design, get approved and printed.

7. What made you want to go into graphic design?

I’m a creative person and wanted to do get paid for something I love to do.

8. Where did you study? How did your education prepare you for your current career?

I received my Bachelor’s Degree from MIAD (Milwaukee Institute of Art + Design). I had 2 really good graphic design teachers who saw my work ethic and worked with me to show me what really good, high level design should look like.

9. What is the biggest lesson you have learned as a graphic designer?

I’m not sure there’s a lesson I’ve learned. I do know that design is subjective but, it takes a good eye and an openness to exploration to see good design. Never assume your design is good, just because your hands are creating it. Always step back and see how you can make it better and more successful. And be open to constructive criticism from your peers - it will make you a better designer.

10. Where do you get your inspiration from?

Other good design. I really enjoy looking at Commarts.com (Communication Arts Magazine).

11. How many sketchbooks do you have, completed and currently in use?

I go through a lot of notebooks, not just for sketching, but for making my daily lists, jotting down thoughts, ideas and sketching out home related things that I want to figure out. I’ve sketched out how I want our outdoor Christmas lights to look, our kitchen configuration, and some of our garden beds. You can use creativity in so many ways!

12. What is your favorite Adobe program? Why?

Hmm. I think I like InDesign the most because I use it the majority of the time. But, Illustrator is a close second, as I love designing logos in this program.

13. What was something unexpected you learned when starting out?

How quickly projects are needed - tight deadlines.

14. What types of projects do you enjoy working on the most?

The ones that have extra time! And the ones that have more creative opportunities. Projects that are more open-ended, not defined. That gives me more creative freedom.

15. What is your favorite part about being a graphic designer?

Being creative and being able to design. I love taking a blank page and designing something that is creative, unique and relevant.

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astrogeoguy · 6 years ago

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Pointing at Polaris, Bright Pre-dawn Planets, and an Enticing Evening Moon!

(Above: Polaris, the Pole Star, is an easy double star visible in backyard telescopes. Look for a small companion near Polaris (yellow arrow) and then trace out the rest of the dim diamond ring asterism. Since the sky revolves around Polaris, the ring of stars can sit in any direction from Polaris.)

Hello, Stargazers!

Here are your Astronomy Skylights for the week of March 10rd, 2019 by Chris Vaughan. Feel free to pass this along to your friends and send me your comments, questions, and suggested topics. I repost these emails with photos at http://astrogeoguy.tumblr.com/ where all the old editions are archived. You can also follow me on Twitter as @astrogeoguy! Unless otherwise noted, all times are Eastern Time. Please click this MailChimp link to subscribe to these emails. If you are a teacher or group leader interested joining me on a guided field trip to York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory or the David Dunlap Observatory, visit www.astrogeo.ca.

I can bring my Digital Starlab inflatable planetarium to your school or other daytime or evening event, visit DiscoveryPlanitarium.com and request me. We’ll tour the Universe together!

My latest Mobile Astronomy column for Space.com is about opportunities to see all the spectacular objects in Charles Messier’s list during a single spring night. You can read it here.

Public Astro-Events

Taking advantage of the moon, Mars, and other bright objects in the sky this week, the RASC Toronto Centre astronomers will hold their free monthly public City Sky Star Party in Bayview Village Park (steps from the Bayview subway station), starting around 7 pm on the first clear weeknight this week (Mon, Tue, or Thu only). You don’t need to be an RASC member, or own any equipment, to join them – looks are free! Check here for details, and check the banner on their website home page or Facebook page for the GO or NO-GO decision around 5 pm each day.

Every Monday evening, York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory runs an online star party - broadcasting views from four telescopes/cameras, answering viewer questions, and taking requests! Details are here. On Wednesday nights they offer free public viewing through their rooftop telescopes. If it’s cloudy, the astronomers give tours and presentations. Details are here.

At 7:30 pm on Wednesday, February 13, the RASC Toronto Centre will hold their free monthly Speaker’s Night Meeting at the Ontario Science Centre, and the public are welcome. This month, the speaker will be Brittney Cooper, MSc student from York University’s Department of Astronomy. Her topic, Scattering Throughout the Solar System, will cover how light reflects off objects like Saturn’s rings, planet atmospheres, and more. Check here for details. Parking is free.

On Friday, March 15, starting at 7 pm, U of T’s AstroTour will present their planetarium show Grand Tour of the Cosmos. Tickets and details are here.

Saturday, March 9 marked the opening of a six-month exhibition at the Aga Khan Museum entitled The Moon: A Voyage through Time. The museum will feature installations of art, culture, history, and science pertaining to the moon. A public talk, The Moon: Mirror of Faith, Science, and the Arts will be delivered by Dr. Christiane Gruber on Saturday at 2:00pm. Details are here.

Walking the Big Dog

If you missed last week’s write-up about the night sky’s brightest star Sirius, and its constellation Canis Major (the Big Dog), I posted it with sky charts and pictures here.

(Above: The northern sky from mid-Northern latitudes, viewed here at 9 pm local time on March 11, features the Little Dipper / Ursa Minor and the Big Dipper / Ursa Major. The tail stars of Draco separate the two bears. The outer two stars of the Big Dipper’s bowl can be used to point to Polaris.)

Pointing at Polaris

Polaris, the North Star, is the star at the tip of the handle of the Little Dipper, the asterism we also know as the constellation Ursa Minor (the Little Bear). Contrary to popular opinion, Polaris is not a prominent star at all. It is ranked only 48th in brightness – but nevertheless it can easily be spotted with mere eyeballs in a moderately dark sky, if you know where to look. Polaris is located about 430 light-years from Earth. Its surface temperature is similar to our sun’s, but the star is much larger, and it emits 2500 times the light of our sun.

Polaris’ fame is due to its steadfast position over the northern horizon. While the rest of the sky revolves due to Earth’s rotation, Polaris remains anchored in place because it sits less than a finger’s width from the North Celestial Pole, the imaginary point in space that the Earth’s axis of rotation points at. Due to Earth’s precession, the slow wobble of the Earth’s axis, Polaris will slowly drifting closer to the pole until the year 2101. The star Thuban in Draco (the Dragon) was the pole star when the pyramids were built.

You can measure your latitude on Earth by counting how many degrees above the horizon Polaris is. Combine that knowledge with the fact that Polaris marks where the compass direction of north is, and you’re well on your way to figuring out your location on Earth - at least, that’s what folks did before GPS!

The easiest way to find Polaris is to use the outermost stars in the Big Dipper’s bowl. Join an imaginary line from Merak (the bottom of the bowl) to Dubhe (at the rim of the bowl) and keep going. Polaris is the next obvious star you’ll come to. It’s about three fist diameters from Dubhe. Don’t forget that the Big Dipper, like everything else in the sky, circles around Polaris continuously. Sometimes you’ll be drawing that line upwards, and sometimes to the left or the right. In March annually, you’ll find Polaris it downward and to the left of the dipper. Merak and Dubhe are often referred to as the Pointers. I’ll put a sky chart here.

If you have a telescope, aim it at Polaris and look for a dim, white-coloured partner star sitting near more yellowish Polaris. Once again, the little star can be anywhere on a circle surrounding Polaris. On mid-March evenings, the companion will be to the lower left, but your telescope’s optics will probably flip it to another orientation. That little star can be joined up with more stars to form a small, roughly circular ring of dim stars on the side of Polaris opposite to the Little Dipper’s bowl. It’s called the Engagement Ring, and Polaris is the diamond. Let me know if you see it.

In mid-March at around 9 pm local time, the rest of the Little Dipper extends sideways to the right from Polaris, and curves strongly upwards towards the Big Dipper. The two dippers fall on either side of the tail stars of Draco. The magnitude 2.06 star at the outer edge of the Little Dipper’s bowl (and closest to the Big Dipper) is slightly dimmer than Polaris. This medium-cool, reddish star is named Kochab. The other five stars of the constellation may be too dim to see from the city, but binoculars will reveal them. Good luck!

The Moon and Planets

This week, the moon will entice you to gaze upon it after dinner. It will spend the week waxing fuller while it climbs the western evening sky. When the moon is at this stage of its monthly journey around Earth, the sun is slowly rising over the moon’s eastern horizon. The slanted “dawn” sunlight casts long, deep black shadows to the west (our left) of any elevated feature on the moon – including crater rims, mountain chains, ridges, and fault scarps. For the best views, point your binoculars or telescope along the strip flanking the pole-to-pole line that divides the lit and darkened hemispheres. And remember, when the majority of the side of the moon we see is dark, the far side is mostly lit. In other words, it’s wrong to refer to the part of the moon we never see as the dark side, because it’s only dark half of the time!

(Above: On Monday evening, the waxing crescent moon will land a palm’s width below Mars, as shown here at 9:30 pm local time. Much dimmer Uranus is in nearby Pisces. The star Menkar, to the left of the moon, is Ceti Alpha of Star Trek canon.)

On Monday evening, the waxing crescent moon will be positioned a palm’s width below Mars. The duo will set at about midnight local time. At the same time, you might notice a rough circle of medium-bright stars to the moon’s left. That’s the head of Cetus (the Whale). The brighter, warm-coloured star positioned a fist’s diameter to the left of the moon is named Menkar. That star’s formal designation is Alpha Ceti, “the brightest star in the whale”. In Star Trek lore, Ceti Alpha V was the planet around that star that James Kirk marooned Khan Noonian Singh and his group on in the Original Series episode “Space Seed”. It was later featured in “The Wrath of Khan”. Take a look!

On Wednesday evening, the moon will land just below the triangle of medium-bright stars that form the face of Taurus (the Bull). Stargazers in western North America will see the moon approach close to the bright, orange-ish star Aldebaran (the eye of the bull) before both objects set in the west. Wherever you live, look a fist’s diameter to the right of the moon for the Seven Sisters, the small, bright cluster of stars that form the logo for the Subaru car company. The sisters were the daughters of Atlas and Pleione in Greek mythology. We also call this object the Pleiades cluster and Messier 45.

On Thursday morning, the moon will reach its First quarter phase, when it will sit at a 90° angle from the sun and will appear half-illuminated. First quarter moons rise around noon and set around midnight, so they become visible starting in the afternoon. The term quarter moon refers not to its appearance, but the fact that our natural satellite has now completed the first quarter of its orbit around Earth since the last new moon.

(Above: On Thursday evening, the First Quarter moon will tickle the toes of Gemini, as shown here at 9 pm local time. Orion’s raised club is at bottom centre.)

On Thursday evening the moon will tickle the toes of Gemini (the Twins). On Saturday night, the waxing gibbous moon will be positioned about a palm’s width to the right (west) of the large open star cluster known as the Beehive or Messier 44 in the constellation of Cancer (the Crab). The moon encounters the cluster frequently because the Beehive is located only 1 degree north of the ecliptic, the great circle around the sky that most solar system objects orbits are close to. To see the cluster’s stars, try placing the bright moon just outside the field of view of your binoculars. The following evening, the moon will hop past the cluster to sit a similar distance to the lower left (east) of the “bees”.

As I referenced above, Mars will be an easy planet to see every evening this week. When the sky begins to darken, look for Mars as a medium-bright, reddish pinpoint of light less than halfway up the western sky. The Red Planet will set at about midnight local time. Mars has been slowly shrinking in size and brightness as we increase our distance from it little-by-little.

(Above: The eastern pre-dawn sky, shown here at 7 am local time, features three bright planets. Very bright Jupiter rises first and moves into the southern sky by dawn. Brighter Venus is low in the southeast, and dimmer Saturn sits midway between them.)

The remaining bright planets have been hanging out in the eastern pre-dawn sky, and they’re putting on quite a show. Bright Jupiter will rise first, at about 3 am local time. By 7 am local time, it will be a beacon in the southern sky. Yellowish Saturn, which is somewhat dimmer due to its greater distance from Earth and its slightly smaller diameter, will rise at about 4:45 am local time and will be lost in the twilight by 7 am.

Our sister planet Venus is now getting markedly closer to the sun and will soon disappear into the dawn twilight. Venus’ blazing brilliance will grace the lower part of the southeastern dawn sky after 6 am local time, and remain in view until sunrise. In a telescope, Venus will exhibit a gibbous (more than half-illuminated) phase. If you have trouble seeing Saturn, search about midway between Jupiter and Venus. I’ll post sky charts for the observable planets here.

Keep looking up, and enjoy the sky when you do. I love questions and requests - so, send me some!

#astronomy #stargazing #planets #stars #universe #Polaris #Little Dipper #Ursa Minor #Big Dipper #Venus #Jupiter #First Quarter Moon #Draco #Gemini #mars 2018

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victimofthemusic · 7 years ago

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Five Times Tony Stark Was a Good Dad (And One Time He Wasn’t) Pt. 3

Hello! No, you guys aren’t misreading this, it’s an actual update! It’s taken me a long time to get back into this story, my life has been very crazy and I’ll be honest, I haven’t written much in the last six to eight moths. However, I saw Infinity War and holy shit, did it place me back in this Universe. I’ve had the beginnings of this chapter to written out since the last update of this story and it took me this long to finish it. I’m not sure how happy I am with this chapter compared to the last two, but I think it fits. I know Peter has Super Spidey healing, but I’m such a sucker for these kinds of fics and I really wanted to write one. Thank you so much for the love and support of this series, Part 1 has well over 2,000 likes and Part 2 is working it’s way up to 700, that’s the most I’ve ever received on any of my stories and I’m completely blown away. I love each and every one of you. If you’re new to this series, you can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. Also, I have one other Homecoming Fic, where you’re Tony Stark’s daughter and you get rescued by Spider-Man and that can be found here and a dating MJ Would Include request here. I hope you guys enjoy!! (:

P.S. If I missed anyone that wanted to be tagged in this, I’m so sorry! I’m posting this at 3 in the morning and trying to sort through all your kind messages and keep track who wants to be tagged is a bit of a challenge, I think I got all of you, but I apologize if I didn’t!

~~~~~~~

It was an unusually quiet night around the Tower, Rhodey was upstate at the new Avengers facility for his weekend stint of physical therapy for his legs, Pepper was back in Malibu working on the new StarkPhone launch and Happy had followed her there for security, leaving Tony to his own devices.

When usually when left with nothing to do, he’d be down in the lab working on a project or tinkering with the Iron Man suit or rebuilding the transmission in one of the twenty cars that he owned. But, for some reason, he found himself in the living room, staring at an infomercial and occasionally replying to emails that he’d been neglecting over the week— choosing to spend time with Peter in the lab instead.

Ever since he invited Peter and his little friend into the lab a few weeks ago, Tony found that he didn’t really mind the kid’s company and what had originally started as a one time offer to appease his guilt, had turned into a three or four time a week thing. Sometimes the kid would come over and they’d screw around with upgrades to the Iron Man suit or they’d try to improve upon Peter’s web fluid—which, Tony admitted with no small amount of pride, was damn near impossible considering Peter’s original formula was damn near solid. That didn’t stop them from trying to make it stronger and last longer, but their attempts usually didn’t come out very successful, much to their collective frustration. And sometimes, when they were tired of messing with Iron Man or formula’s for new web fluid, Peter would wander off to a part of the lab table that had become his own little spot and catch up on his homework, occasionally asking for Tony’s input.

And Tony…didn’t really mind. He didn’t mind that Peter had slowly but surely became part of his daily routine and taking up a space in his life that Tony, once upon a time, didn’t really want to be fulfilled. He knew that Peter wasn't necessarily a child of his own biological making, but that didn’t stop him from feeling a sense of responsibility and dare he say it, an attachment to the kid that was more paternal than mentor like. He liked having the kid around him, in his lab, in this big Tower that got more lonely as the days went by without the other Avenger’s bustling around it—Sam teaching Vision and Wanda to cook in the kitchen, Natasha and Clint wrestling in the living room, Steve watching from the couch with exasperated amusement in between sketches, Thor polishing his hammer at the dinner table while Rhodey read the news paper and Bruce tinkering around in the lab with Tony.

Peter breathed life into this Tower that had been robbed of it when the Accords came into play and had divided the only family Tony had ever really been apart of. And damn if Tony didn’t love the kid for it.

So that’s why, sitting there, alone in his big and empty Tower, that Tony began to physically feel the kid’s absence.

He glanced down at his StarkWatch, biting his lip. It was 10:30, surely the kid wasn't that busy that if he were to, theoretically, call the kid and see if he wanted to come over tomorrow and work in the lab, maybe go to the new science exhibit at Museum of Natural History—he did, after all, have an in to the Research Library—grab a late lunch and come back and watch some movies with Vision and Rhodey, since it was still technically movie night even though the rest of the old team wasn't here and if it got too late, he could always crash in his room here and he could always take Peter to school Monday morning, as long as it was cool with Aunt Hottie—

“Sir, you have an incoming call from Ned Leeds,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said, startling Tony out of his train of thought.

Curiosity piqued, Tony said with a wave of his hand, “Patch him through.”

A moment of silence and then the sound of loud music and laughter rang through the overhead speakers of the Tower, making Tony wince.

“Mr. Stark, sir, sorry to interrupt your evening, I’m sure you’re very busy, but may I just say that I think it’s totally awesome that your A.I. answers your phone calls—“

“Thanks, Guy In Chair, but—“

“Can she do like, a trace on the number and then like, a background check on the person—“

“—how’d you get my number? And, here’s the real question, how’d I get your number?”

“Oh, I got your number from Peter’s phone and I did a reverse phone hack and added myself into your contact list, in case of an emergency—“

“Lemme stop you there kid,” Tony said sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off a headache, “you mean to tell me, you stole my number from Peter’s phone and managed to reverse hack into my phone, which, by the way, I don’t appreciate, and added your number to my phone on the off chance that I would need to call you? And why, may I ask, do you think that would ever be a possibility?”

The tell tale sign of a gulp could be heard over the line and Tony sighed in exasperation, “Was there a point to this conversation, Ned or—“

“Oh!” Ned exclaimed, “Yeah, sorry sir, um you see, it’s Peter—“

Tony’s heart most definitely didn’t stop working at that sentence and it didn’t seem like taking oxygen into his lungs suddenly became more difficult at the thought of Peter being in any sort of danger.

“Is he okay?” Tony demanded, sitting up straighter and summoning the suit.

“You see sir, I told everyone in our gym class that Peter knew Spiderman and then Liz—this really pretty senior that, like, half the school is in love with including Peter—mentioned she was having a party tonight at her house that basically the entire school was invited to and that we should stop by, which was so awesome because we’re only sophomore’s sir and not cool people—“

“If there’s a point here, Ned, I’m missing it, so you better get to it.” Tony demanded sharply.

“Right, anyway, we got invited and well, um, Peter was nervous and a senior handed us each a drink and Peter downed his and well, he’s really drunk and is about to swing through this house in his, you know, other identity and I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen to me and—“

“I’ll be there in five, try to stall him as best as you can.” Tony said quickly, ending the call.

He ensured that F.R.I.D.A.Y. had located the call before he summoned one of his cars to the location and he was off into the night, trying to quell the anger and shame that was boiling through his veins.

Anger, that the kid could be that stupid and utterly reckless, to risk his secret and the safety of his loved ones for kids he wouldn’t even waste another thought on after graduating high school.

And shame, because he knew what it was like to be Peter’s age and to want to be seen and seem cool by your peers. To want to fit in so desperately that you're willing to do almost anything to get it. Alcohol has cost Tony so many things in his life and he’d be damned if he let someone like Peter follow in his footsteps.

He made it to the party in three minutes, taking a moment to do the deep breathing exercises Bruce taught him, so he didn’t completely lose it on the kid and alert everyone to his sudden appearance at the party. He landed with a dull thud against the roof, alerting the intoxicated teenager that was attempting to don his suit a little too closely to edge of the roof for Tony’s heart to handle.

He really was quite the sight—he had the suit on backwards, well the half he had on, the other half was dangling pathetically in the evening breeze while Peter seemed to be trying to figure out how to get the rest of it on without jumping too far and falling off of the roof.

“Mr. Starkkkkk!” Peter slurred in greeting, eyes bright and blood shot with the alcohol, “What’re you doin’ here? Did you know there was go’na be a party here? Did Liz invite you—“

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Tony demanded, completely ignoring Peter’s inquiry, lifting the faceplate of the Iron Man mask. He was doing everything in his power to keep his voice level and not shout like he so desperately wanted to, breathing exercises be damned.

Peter hiccuped, “”M trying to put my suit on because I told ev’ryone that ‘Piderman was go’na be here, but—hiccup—I got ‘istracted when I got here n’d now my head s’all—“ he made a waving gesture in the air, like that explained it all, which, to be fair, Tony did understand what he meant a little too well and it only added to the anger welling inside of him, “—weird, like it’s not part of my body n’d I was go’na swing through the house n’d be like ‘wasss up ev’rybody ‘m ‘Piderman’ and give Ned a fist bump so he looks like he’s cool too—“

“And how do you plan to do all of that when you can’t even get both legs in your suit, kid?”

Peter gazed dumbly back at him, before looking down and yeah, okay. Mr. Stark had a point.

He looked back up at Tony with unfocused eyes and with such a blatant uncaring shrug that only teenagers knew how to accomplish, that Tony snapped.

“Do you realize how stupid this is?” Tony said sharply, “Not only could you hurt yourself or someone else, you’re running the risk of outing yourself to your entire school! Who, I’m sure, have all their little smartphones with their little cameras and it’s only a matter of time before this would end up on YouTube, then the media would get a hold of it and then that’s it, kid, you’re no longer anonymous and you’ve put everyone you love in danger. Do you want that?”

Peter opened his mouth to reply but Tony couldn’t handle it, “Not uh, you don’t get to talk, the adult is talking,” he snapped, waving his hand as if he could physically swat the rebuttal on the kid’s tongue away, “Now, what you're going to do is get out of the suit, put your clothes back on and then you’re coming back to the Tower with me and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll do it without any sort of complaint.”

Peter, thankfully, heeded Tony’s words and, after some struggling, managed to get the suit off and into his own clothes. He swayed slightly on the spot and Tony acted fast, tapping the center of Peter’s suit, summoning it back to the Tower and he scooped Peter up, cradling him like a baby against his chest. Peter rested his head gratefully against the cool armor, the world beginning to spin around him at an uncomfortable rate as he felt the repulsers of the suit ignite and Mr. Stark take off into the night.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., please send a text to Peter’s little friend and inform him there’s a car waiting for him outside and that it will escort him home and that if he doesn't leave that party in five minutes, it’ll be a phone call to his mother.” He heard Mr. Stark’s voice over the whooshing of the wind and Peter giggled. Who knew Mr. Drunken-Womanizing-Playboy-Tony Stark could be such a dad.

Iron Man, more like Iron Dad, Peter thought to himself, giggling.

His giggling came to an abrupt stop, however, when his stomach gave a uncomfortable lurch. Suddenly, the cool wind washing over his face felt suffocating and Peter could picture how high up they were, how small the buildings would be and how the only thing separating him from death was Mr. Stark’s gentle grip and his stomach gave another churn and then—

Oh no

“Uh, Tony, I—I—don’t feel so good—“

“Kid, I swear to god, if you toss your cookies all over this suit—“

He opened his mouth to reply, but instead of words, the tacos he and Ned split before the party came back up and he tried, he really tried to aim away from the suit, but there was only so much he could do when he was squished against Tony’s chest and suspended twenty-thousand feet into the air.

“Mr. Stark, I am so—“ Peter began, beyond mortified and feeling much more sober than he was five minutes ago, but Tony shook his head and Peter could feel the heat of his glare through the faceplate of the suit.

“Save it, kid. You’re lucky this is one of my older suits.”

~~~~~~~~~~

They made it back to the Tower without another incident and once Tony was out of the ruined suit, he sent it off with DUM-E to get it hosed off, he sent Peter up to his room and he sent himself to the bar for a drink.

He eyed the bottle of bourbon, but thoughts of a drunk and stumbling Peter on a roof top made him opt for a bottle of water instead.

He collapsed on the couch, suddenly feeling everyone of his years and rubbing his temples to ward off the migraine that he could feel blooming behind his eyelids, he wondered, not for the first time, how he could've done this to his mother. Tony had started drinking right around Peter’s age, and at first, it had started as something to piss his father off, but he soon came to realize that alcohol numbed the pain and help hide the scars his father’s words had left behind. Drinking had turned to experimenting with drugs and if it wasn't for Rhodey, who’d pulled him back from the brink of every bender, he would’ve been dead before his twenty-first birthday.

His drinking and partying had put a strain on his relationship with his mother and did nothing but serve to be a source of shame for his father with all the headlines his drunken shenanigans had earned him.

And while Peter wasn’t his kid, not biologically or legally, he felt responsible for the kid. A sense of duty to steer this kid in the right direction and Tony would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t love the kid and care about his wellbeing.

Peter reminded him a lot of himself at fifteen. Always the smartest kid in the room, always interested in things that weren’t cool and struggling to find a place amongst his peers who teased him for being who he was. The difference, however, was that Peter was good. He was so inherently good and all the harsh things that this world had done to him had yet to diminish the purity and resolute kindness that radiated off of the kid in waves. Peter used his powers because he wanted to help people, Tony did it because he hoped, that maybe, for every life he saved, every act of good he did, it would serve as a penance for all the bad he had done to the world.

Peter was too good of a kid to turn out like Tony and it scared him to think of Peter following in his footsteps. Of making his mistakes. He knew, logically, that Peter was still a teenager. That he was going to make mistakes, but Tony couldn't help but feel disappointed in the kid anyways. He wanted Peter to be better than him, damn it. He had to be.

It was only eleven, but Tony felt beyond exhausted, so he made his way to his room, passing Peter’s along the way and he couldn't help but stop and peak in the doorway. He wanted to make sure that the kid actually made it to his room in one piece and didn’t drown himself in the shower.

Peter did manage to make it in bed on his own—sprawled out on top of the sheets in the Iron Man pajamas that Tony had bought him as a joke, he never expected the kid to actually wear them—and if the snores coming out of the kid said anything, he’d been passed out for a while.

Tony smiled, shaking his head before padding softly across the fluffy carpeting of Peter’s room, grabbing a blanket that was thrown across the love seat in the corner and gently draped it over Peter. He snuggled into the warmth, seeming to relax a bit more in his sleep and Tony brushed his bangs back from his forehead.

“Oh, you’re going to be in a world of pain tomorrow, kid,” Tony muttered, “I wouldn’t wish a first time hangover on anybody.”

Peter snuffled in his sleep, eyebrows furrowing as if he heard what Tony said.

Tony chuckled softly, shaking his head once more, “Good night, kid.” he whispered to the quiet room.

Peter rolled over on his stomach, burying his head in the pillows, mumbling in his sleep and Tony paused, because there’s no way that kid said what he thought he said—

“G’night, Irondad.”

Tony blamed the warm feeling in his chest on the alcohol that was still sitting, untouched, in the bottle downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunlight, Peter decided, was literally the worst thing that world had invented. It burned every time he opened his eyes, threatening to fry his corneas right from his skull and it was only made worse by his Spidey-senses, which usually made every one of his senses feel like it had been dialed to eleven, but today, it felt like they’d been dialed to one hundred.

And it was only made worse by the high voltage electric guitar that was blaring from downstairs and Peter recognized it as one of the songs on Tony’s I’m Trying To Be Productive playlist he’d played in the lab.

Wait—

Peter glanced around at his surroundings and he realized he was in his room. But not in Queens, where his Very Worried Aunt would expecting him to be sleeping, safe and sound.

Instead, he was in his room.

In Stark Tower.

Which was in Manhattan.

And he had no idea how he ended up here.

Cursing colorfully, Peter flew out of bed and immediately regretted it—the room started to spin and his stomach churned dangerously, bile rising in his throat and threatening to come up all over the dark grey carpeting.

He took a second to breathe, fighting back the nausea and praying he wouldn’t ruin Tony’s carpet. Eventually, the restless ocean in his stomach mellowed out, the nausea turning into more of a bleh feeling.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y?” Peter asked hesitantly, rubbing his eyes.

“Yes, Mr. Parker?” The A.I. responded dutifully.

“What happened last night?” Peter asked, toeing the carpet and wondering if he really wanted to know that answer. Now that he was awake, the night was coming back to him in flashes and he prayed that some of those flashes were wrong.

“Mr. Stark received a call from Mr. Leeds last night at around 10:35 pm, informing him of your whereabouts and possible levels of intoxication and he flew to the residence of Ms. Liz Allan’s, where he encountered you, on her roof, attempting to put on your suit. He flew you to the Tower and provided a car to escort Mr. Leeds home.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied.

Peter nodded—which, come to find out, makes splitting headaches worse—and thought over all the information the A.I. had provided for him and while all of it fit, there was one thing that was missing and he hoped, beyond all belief, that it wasn't true.

“Did I—,” Peter cleared his throat, wishing he hadn’t, which seemed to be the running theme of today, “—did I by chance, possibly, when Tony flew me back to the Tower, which I’m assuming was in the Ironman suit, did I uh, you know, um—“

“Mr. Stark is headed up in the elevator, Mr. Parker.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. interrupted him.

Shit

“On a scale of 1-10, how mad is he?” Peter asked meekly, glancing up at the ceiling.

“While my body scans show no outward signs of irritation, Sir’s heart rate is elevated and his blood pressure is higher than normal, so my estimate would be an 8.5.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. answered after a brief moment of hesitation and Peter couldn't decide if it was his imagination or if he just wanted someone on his team, but the A.I.’s voice sounded sympathetic and that was a bad sign when a computer felt bad for the wrath that was bound to rain upon him.

“On today’s episode of Peter Screw’s the Pooch, we talk about underage drinking and it’s adverse effects it has on young heroes and their abilities to think properly.”

The door to his room burst open and Peter winced at the noise of wood hitting dry wall, but that paled in comparison when he saw an angry Tony Stark standing in the doorway.

“And while we usually save questions from the audience for the end of the show, today, I think we can make an exception,” Tony continued, making his way into Peter’s room, a sarcastic smirk dancing on his lips and his usually kind eyes were on a low simmer, anger lurking in the shadows.

Peter gulped.

“To answer your question, Mr. Parker, yes, you did, in fact, regurgitate your tacos and cheap beer all over my Mark fifteen, after I kindly took time out of my night, to fly over to the suburbs of Queens, to a house full of your classmates, to save you, from possibly making one of the worst decisions of your teenage life.”

Peter winced at Tony’s steadily rising voice, one because it was making his headache worse and two, because, well, Tony was yelling at him.

“So, since I didn’t really get a coherent answer last night, what the HELL were you thinking?!” Tony demanded, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

Peter swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously, “I uh—“

But Tony cut him off, “Because I can tell you what you weren’t thinking. You weren’t thinking about the fact that if you flew into that house, drunk off your ass, might I add, you not only could’ve injured yourself, you could’ve hurt someone else. Or, more importantly, you could’ve exposed your secret to all your little classmates, who all have their little smartphones, with HD camera’s and access to the internet and you could’ve been the next viral sensation, which would blow your cover to the ENTIRE WORLD.”

Tony’s shout made Peter jump and shrink back from the rage in his voice, but he was so lost in his rant that he didn’t even notice, “Which, not only put you in danger, but all your little friends and your unusually attractive aunt.”

Peter’s eyes widened, “Oh god, aunt May, Tony—“

He waved him off, “Oh, now you’re thinking of someone besides yourself? Don’t worry, she thinks your sleeping over at Ned’s tonight because me, being the cool parent that I am, brought you here, instead of dropping you off at home last night and saved you from the verbal ass chewing of the century.”

Guilt swelled in Peter’s gut, eclipsing any nausea that had been lingering, and he dropped his eyes to the floor in shame.

“Seriously, Peter, what were you thinking?” Tony demanded and Peter could hear the exasperation and fatigue in his voice and his guilt increased ten fold.

If Peter was being honest with himself, he wasn't thinking. Not entirely, at least. He just wanted one night, one night, where he could be a normal teenager. Who went to parties and let loose and danced and didn’t have to worry about saving the city from weird thugs with Avenger’s masks and high tech weapons. Who didn’t have to worry about keeping up with homework and studying on top of late night patrols and keeping up a secret identity from his aunt who worked two jobs to supplement the lost income because her husband died in a robbery that Peter was too angry and bitter to stop. He wanted to fit in, to be cool and seen by the most beautiful girl in entire school.

He just wanted to be normal.

It all sounded so stupid, now that he thought it out.

Well.

“I just wanted to fit in.” Peter said softly, “The kids at school, they don’t see me, you know? I know it’s stupid, but I just wanted to know what it was like. To be cool. To be—“

“—normal.” Tony finished for him, voice unusually gentle and Peter glanced up at him hesitantly, nodding.

“Yeah.”

Tony sighed, rubbing his hand down his face, taking a seat next to Peter on the bed, “Kid, I get it. Maybe not the whole hero thing at fifteen, but when I was fifteen, I was in college, with kids that were older and cooler and I just wanted to fit in. But Pete,” Tony said softly, “drinking is never the answer.

For anything. Trust me kid, alcohol won’t solve any of your problems, they only create more problems. And they can lead to things that you’re not ready for.”

Tony glanced away from him, “Take it from someone who knows, it takes you down a path you’ll have a hell of a time getting off of. I know I have a hard time showing it, but kid…you mean a lot to me and I never want to get another phone call like the one I got last night, you hear me? I’m not kidding. If I ever hear about you doing something stupid that involves the suit, I’ll take it away from you and you won’t get it back.”

Peter’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest, but Tony shook his head, “No, I mean it. If you want to make it public that you’re Spiderman, you’ll do it when you’re older and on your own terms. It’s not going to be because you made a stupid choice when you were drunk and you exposed yourself to the entire world. This is for your safety as much as it is for mine and everyone else you care about.”

Peter sighed, “I understand. And I promise it won’t happen again. Especially if this is how I feel as a result.”

Tony chuckled, ruffling Peter’s hair, “Hangover’s are a bitch, kid, if that’s not enough to make you want to wait to drink until you’re older, I don’t know what will.”

Tony stood up, “Alright, I’m gonna go order breakfast—what are you doing?”

Peter, who thought that the lecture was over and it was safe to go back to bed, propped himself up on his elbow, “Um, going back to bed? I wasn’t kidding, I really don’t feel good and I’m tired—“

“Oh no no no,” Tony tutted in disapproval, backing his way out of Peter’s room, “You’ve got a suit with your puke all over it, waiting to be cleaned in the lab and then you have homework to do and web fluid to make—“

“But—“ Peter looked longingly at the California king with it’s soft sheets and fluffy pillows and his body physically ached at the thought of leaving it.

“Or I can always call your aunt and tell her what really happened last night—“

“Coming!”

Tony smirked.

Iron Dad indeed.

~~~~~~~

Thank you guys for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and I’m excited to hear your feedback! Suggestions and requests are much appreciated! (:

@jadepc @autumnhunter1 @randommemewithadream @rebbie444 @abaikgirl @fantabulousshipperfromcamelot @afittingdistraction @letsallsleepoverwork @pepperr-pottss @help-i-need-a-cool-username @onedaysomedaytoday @ileavechaosinmywake @bloop-da-loop @rachhhhhl @anniejglee @hiccup-is-left-handed @spid3rboy @bonza-bear @claraangi

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eeveelutionsforequality · 7 years ago

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@mod vape, do you have any tips for dealing with hypersexuality or addiction? bc uh. getting off hurts. idk if it’s specifically because ive been doing it so goddamn much or because of the fucking legion of medical problems i have, but it’s DEFINITELY making my abdominal pain worse and i dont know how to stop gjdfjhk.

Well, firstly, go to the doctor about that pain - there are injuries, illnesses, sexual dysfunctions, and all sorts of things from that could be causing a pain like that (it could be a pulled muscle, a cyst, maybe you aggravated a pre-existing health issue, etc), and it's best to rule out anything too dangerous as soon as you can, and to treat anything treatable. Even if it is tied to or caused by overdoing sex/masturbation, just mitigating that habit isn't guaranteed to fix it.

I was getting some pretty bad pain from even small dildos/vibrators, and I decided to go to the doctor in case it was something dangerous - thankfully, it turned out to just be a sexual dysfunction (basically spasms and tightening of the muscles in the vagina, in my case caused by trauma). I was supposed to get therapy for it, but I never went because I was having another therapy at the time and my carer was like "But what if they cancel each other out!?" and I was like "That's not how it works..." Sometimes it acts up but I think I've got it mostly under control. I've also had to go to the doctor for sprained/strained wrists more times than I would like to admit... I used to be like "Oh I played my guitar for too long" or "Oh I think I leant on my walking stick for too long" and now I'm just like "Wanker's cramp".

Trust me and my plethora of injuries when I say that doctors are professionals, they went to medical school, they see genitalia on a daily basis, they've seen eyes and ears and giant sores full of puss... it's really rare to get a doctor that will look down upon or judge you for that. Sure you'll get the odd "You should masturbate less", "Here's a big speech about the risks of STDs and pregnancy", "Have you told your therapist about this", but it's more of an "I'm contractually obliged to impart medical advice" than an "I think you're gross" 99% of the time.

Secondly, I do have tips, but I'm still hella bad at dealing with my own issues - I still smoke more than I want to, drink til I puke, sleep with strangers, lose days to laying in bed alone, have an aching pain in my wrists, etc. Obviously I don't have all of the answers, so I can't promise that they'll be the best tips in the world - it's worth doing some more research of your own, and it might be worth talking to your doctor/therapist if you can't manage it on your own.

You haven't given much detail about how specifically it affects you or what the addiction is to (sexual stuff in general, masturbation, casual sex, porn, etc), so I'm going to try to cover as much as I can (like dealing with sexual thoughts about people in your life, limiting the number of times you masturbate, etc) and I hope that at least some of what I say is useful to you.

Okay, so the first tip I have is: try not to slip into the mentality that cold turkey is the only way to go if it's not what you want - thinking "I can't have this. I'm not allowed this." can increase cravings. Thinking "I'm allowed this later... if I stay motivated not to do it now and if I only do it in moderation, and it's gonna be great." can make waiting out those cravings a lot easier, provided you have the self-control to not slip back into a bad habit after once.

Ways to avoid slipping back into bad habits include: having time (or number of the thing) limits for when and how long you are allowed, having something to do afterwards that takes your mind off it (for example "once I've done it once, I have to get up, take out the rubbish, email my boss, read that global warming article, and get ready for bed"), other rewards/punishments (put a book you really want in your Amazon basket then click "save for later", if at the end of the fortnight you've accomplished your goal then buy the book, if you fail the fortnight resets and you have to wait two more weeks - set smaller goals with smaller rewards, and larger goals with larger rewards), keeping and going over a diary so that you can see what worked and what didn't, if there's a pattern to failures, progress even if you're not meeting goals (at which point try to make the upcoming goals a little easier since you're expecting too much of yourself), and so on.

Secondly, and it's the most generic tip ever but it's SUPER important for addictions because they can damage your pre-frontal cortex... healthy diet, exercise, meditation, mental exercises, getting some sun, and other daily tasks are super important.

You need to get into the habit of something like reading or pottery or drawing for at least half an hour to an hour every day - turn off your internet, games, distractions, and maintain concentration on what you're doing. This helps repair the effects that addictions can have on your pre-frontal cortex and dopamine receptors by activating the parts of your brain that work towards maintained motivation and focus for smaller or distant rewards, which in turn will help your brain work normally again, which in turn will increase motivation and willpower.

Cooking more difficult meals will have similar benefits and a healthy diet improves your overall health. Exercise does the same even more effectively than either, and it has the added bonus of energizing you, increasing your focus on other tasks that you do afterwards, various health benefits, lifting your mood, and helping you be tired by the end of the day so that you'll be able to sleep easier - insomnia is a really dangerous trigger for any addiction, but especially a masturbation or sex addiction, because you're in an environment that is associated with that behaviour and the behaviour makes it easier to sleep afterwards, so you've every reason to start doing it if you find yourself unable to sleep.

Which brings me on to another reason why keeping a diary is especially important - you need to isolate your triggers. Establish what happened immediately before the behaviour, what you were thinking, and what potentially led to the behaviour. Then you can work towards either avoiding those triggers, lessening them, being mindful of them, or training yourself to exhibit a different behaviour in response to them - for example, if having a shower triggers you to masturbate, try singing in the shower instead, training your brain to react to showers with the urge to sing instead of the urge to masturbate.

You might also want to try sleeping meds, so that you can take them, read until they start to kick in, and then immediately go to bed and try to sleep - that way there's less of a gap between going to bed and falling asleep where something could happen.

Routine can also be really helpful for some people - you're supposed to fall asleep between about 10pm and 1am for optimal sleep, and you're supposed to wake up between 6 and 8 hours later. Get out of bed as soon as you wake up to avoid lethargy, and either exercise or go for a short walk, or do something that starts your brain and body working for the day. After that, prepare breakfast, don't watch TV or distract yourself while you eat. Continue the day with a routine that works for you, and you could set a time at which you will masturbate (or maybe a date you're allowed to go to the club and pull... how you work in routine if you have a long-term sexual partner is something you would need to talk to them about) that doesn't interfere with your routine.

Avoid bars, pubs, clubs, tinder, grindr, and anything else that can be a trigger for that or makes quick hook-ups easy - I know that I can go to the pub near me (because there'll be nobody there for that, it's an "old people come here to watch football" pub), and that I can go to a pub or bar with friends if I'm having a good day, but making sure that my flat wasn't within walking distance of a club and deleting dating apps was really helpful to me (it meant that even if the temptation was there the effort required to act on it was too much and took too long, so I'd catch myself).

I also log off any tumblr that I'm following people on that post NSFW, porn, sexual stuff or anime stuff if necessary - just like how I log off any tumblrs where I follow political blogs if I'm getting overwhelmed by that. But it is still good to have a tumblr for NSFW stuff, to have somewhere that you can express certain things, reblog things, feel less alone, enjoy things that you enjoy - don't demonize the side of you that likes sex, don't lock it in a cell in the back of your head, just tell it that it can't control you.

I'm also working on not putting myself in as many situations that can make me feel like I'm being too flirty or as many situations that cause too many uncomfortable or sexual thoughts at a time when they're stressing me - like, I don't come online as much when I'm drunk now, I don't have as many sleepovers, and I don't tend to maintain physical contact for as long (like, I don't hold hands as often as I used to), for example.

That said, you can't live out your life hiding from people who your brain might think something sexual about - isolating yourself is unhealthy. Humans are social creatures and social interaction is good for us, talking to people about our problems is good for us, distractions and fun are good for us. I find structured social plans make things easier - so, I like plans like "lets cook together then eat the awesome meal", "lets go see a movie", "lets go to the town center and taste hot chocolate from as many cafés as we can before I puke", "lets go to the fair" and things like that (that said, agoraphobia is awful and ruins like 90% of my social interaction). Keep people in your life who you're comfortable with and who make you happy.

Remember that what you're thinking or mental images that pop into your head aren't evil, it doesn't mean that you have a crush on them, that you actually want to do sexual things with them, that you can't be their friend, or anything like that... they're just thoughts. You didn't choose them. Just let them pass.

Your surroundings and triggers are incredibly important things to stay on top of though, be that to mitigate stress in social situations, or to prevent you from engaging in more sex/masturbation than you want to or than is safe for you to.

Don't spend your day in the same place that you masturbate - even if you don't live alone you can avoid being in bed when you're in your room, you could get a sofa, beanbag, comfy chair, gigantic cushion, or other comfortable place to sit in your bedroom so that you don't have to be in your bed, and put that in a part of your room with different posters/decoration to those around your bed.

Lots of things can become associated with certain behaviours in your brain, from sitting in a certain place to feeling a certain emotion. Try to avoid being too exposed to those things at times when you don't intend to be doing something sexual, and replace them with other things that make you happy, keep you distracted, and aid in training concentration and willpower (maths games, board games, card games, puzzles, reading, cooking, exercise, drawing, writing, etc).

Even things like separating any porn or sexual pictures in your phone into a hidden folder instead of having it pop up when you go to look for pictures, or keeping magazines or the pornhub bookmark out of sight, can really help with lessening the regularity with which things pop into your head.

Finally, and I've hinted at it throughout this, mindfulness and meditation are things that many addicts find incredibly helpful. It's really worth doing some googling, watching some YouTube videos, and learning those techniques (and it's good to be doing research in general into ways to help addictions or hypersexuality disorders, because there are quite a few schools of thought and there are probably a lot of things that I've missed).

Meditation, like reading and exercise, helps train your mind into maintaining focus, not reacting to distractions and urges, relaxing, letting thoughts pass by, and being less hectic and loud - it also has health benefits, can help you sleep, can help you take time from your busy schedule to yourself (an urge that may have been previously feeding the addictions instead, as they can be linked to a need for control), and can help you work through thoughts or anxieties.

Mindfulness helps in various ways too - for example, smokers found that being mindful (observing, essentially) helped them quit because it led to them paying more attention to how bad the cigarette tasted, and it also allowed them to non-judgmentally observe the cravings that they felt, observe why they were feeling those cravings, and allow them to pass by. It's about letting your thoughts exist, letting things exist, acknowledging them, but not letting them control you.

You can study mindfulness for yourself - research it online, read one of the many books about it, watch YouTube videos, etc - or you can go to the doctor and ask for a therapy that teaches mindfulness (I found learning about it in my own time more helpful, and have had more success with that, but I think that was mostly related to not having a great therapist - plus, online gives me more opportunities to look into the how and why, to see how other people do it, to look deeper into it, to take as long as I need, while therapy was just an elderly lady snapping at me for using my phone and telling me to imagine that my thoughts are clouds and distracting me constantly).

So yeah...

Step 1: Go to the doctors for that pain, it's probably something minor but it's better safe than sorry.

Step 2: Do more research, Mod Vape doesn't know everything.

Step 3: Keep a diary and try to isolate what things are triggering you, what you're feeling beforehand, and be mindful of what you're thinking, what you're feeling, and what you're gaining/losing from the experience.

Step 4: Try to keep yourself away from things that trigger you, but also remember that you don't have to entirely abstain from valuable things - you can train new reactions as responses to those things, you can work on self-control, and so on.

Step 5: Work on your routine, diet, exercise, habits, and hobbies, so that you can improve your willpower, motivation, and health.

Step 6: Research and practice meditation and mindfulness.

Step 7: Set and work towards small goals, rewarding yourself for successes and keeping track of your progress.

Step 8: If you can't control the addiction or behaviour, if the thoughts are becoming difficult to live with, if these problems continue to cause you distress, there is no shame in seeking professional help. You don't have to do this alone.

Remember that chemical imbalances and other neurological issues can cause such things - if you can't manage it alone, that could be a warning sign that something serious or physiological is going on. Not being able to quit doesn't necessarily mean that somebody's "not trying hard enough", and instead of beating yourself up talk to somebody who can do blood tests, scans, or whatever else is necessary to make sure that you're okay and that you overcome your struggles.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon

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astrogeoguy · 6 years ago

Text

Walking the Dog on Moonless Nights, Evening Mars and Pretty Pre-dawn Planets!

(Above: This detailed star chart of the area around Canis Major, the Big Dog, shows the main stars and deep sky objects (labelled yellow symbols) in the constellation. The southern sky is shown for early March at 7 pm local time.)

Hello, Stargazers!

Here are your Astronomy Skylights for the week of March 3rd, 2019 by Chris Vaughan. Feel free to pass this along to your friends and send me your comments, questions, and suggested topics. I repost these emails with photos at http://astrogeoguy.tumblr.com/ where all the old editions are archived. You can also follow me on Twitter as @astrogeoguy! Unless otherwise noted, all times are Eastern Time. Please click this MailChimp link to subscribe to these emails. If you are a teacher or group leader interested joining me on a guided field trip to York University’s Allan I. Carswell Observatory or the David Dunlap Observatory, visit www.astrogeo.ca.

I can bring my Digital Starlab inflatable planetarium to your school or other daytime or evening event, visit DiscoveryPlanitarium.com and request me. We’ll tour the Universe together!

Public Astro-Events

Taking advantage of dark moonless evening skies this week, astronomers with the RASC Toronto Centre will gather for dark sky stargazing at Long Sault Conservation Area, northeast of Oshawa on (only) the first clear evening (Monday to Thursday) this week. You don’t need to be a RASC member, or own any equipment, to join them. Check here for details and watch the banner on their homepage or their Facebook page for the GO or NO-GO decision around 5 pm each day.

On Thursday, March 7 at 8 pm in the Legion Hall in Waterdown, the RASC – Hamilton Centre will present a free public talk by Professor Michael Fich, University of Waterloo entitled New Frontiers in Observational Cosmology. Details are here.

On Thursday, March 7, starting at 8 pm, U of T’s AstroTour will present a free talk entitled Kepler’s Story: How one Telescope Changed Everything we Know about Exoplanets. It will be followed by observing (weather permitting) and their planetarium show. Details are here.

Eastern GTA sky watchers are invited to join the RASC Toronto Centre and Durham Skies for solar observing and stargazing at the edge of Lake Ontario in Millennium Square in Pickering on Friday evening, March 8, from 6 pm to 11 pm. Details are here. Before heading out, check the RASCTC home page for a Go/No-Go call in case it's too cloudy to observe. The rain date is Saturday.

On Friday, March 8 at 7:30 pm in the Hamilton Spectator Building in Hamilton, the Hamilton local astronomers will present a free public talk entitled A Step Back, and a Look Up. Details are here.

If it’s sunny on Saturday morning, March 9 from 10 am to noon, astronomers from the RASC Toronto Centre will be setting up outside the main doors of the Ontario Science Centre for Solar Observing. Come and see the Sun in detail through special equipment designed to view it safely. This is a free event (details here), but parking and admission fees inside the Science Centre will still apply. Check the RASC Toronto Centre website or their Facebook page for the Go or No-Go notification.

Saturday, March 9 marks the opening of a six-month exhibition at the Aga Khan Museum entitled The Moon: A Voyage through Time. The museum will feature installations of art, culture, history, and science pertaining to the moon. A public talk, The Moon: Mirror of Faith, Science, and the Arts will be delivered by Dr. Christiane Gruber on Saturday at 2:00pm. Details are here.

On Saturday, March 9 from 6 to 8 pm, weather permitting, astronomers from RASC Toronto Centre will carry out free public evening stargazing on the Teluscape at the Ontario Science Centre. Details are here.

Evening Zodiacal Light

For about half an hour after dusk between today and the new moon on March 6, look west-southwest for a broad wedge of faint light rising from the horizon and centered on the ecliptic. This is the zodiacal light - reflected sunlight from interplanetary particles of matter concentrated in the plane of the solar system. The glow will be centred on the horizon directly below Mars. Try to observe from a location without light pollution, and don't confuse the zodiacal light with the brighter Milky Way to the northwest. I posted an image of it here.

(Above: Canis Major is one of two dog constellations that accompany Orion in the winter sky, as shown here at 7 pm in early March. The Little Dog, Canis Minor is the “stick-like” constellation at top left. Perhaps they are chasing Lepus, the Rabbit. The winter Milky Way runs vertically, just to the east (left side) of Canis Major.)

Walking the Big Dog

The night sky’s brightest star Sirius is sure to catch your eye in the evening sky this time of the year. Once the sky darkens at around 8:30 pm local time, Sirius will be sitting a third of the way up the southern sky, to the lower left of Orion (the Hunter). During the rest of the evening, Sirius will slowly descend into the southwestern sky and set just after midnight local time.

Sirius name means “searing” or “scorching” in Greek. It’s also commonly known as the Dog Star because it is the brightest star in Canis Major (the Big Dog). To my eyes, the constellation genuinely resembles a wiener dog! Sirius sparkles at the dog’s collar. The pup’s head is formed by several medium-bright stars to Sirius’ upper left, but those are near the limit of visibility in urban skies. Nose to tail, the constellation measures about 19°, or two fist diameters held at arm’s length. He’s about one fist from ears to paws. The rest of the dog’s body, composed of more easily visible stars, extends to the lower left (southeast) of Sirius. The dog is rearing up and facing west, as if he is begging Orion for a treat.

About a fist’s diameter below Sirius is the bright star Wezen, which marks the dog’s “bottom”. Wezen, Arabic for “weight” is a rare, massive yellow supergiant star. One day it will explode in a supernova. The tip of the dog’s tail, marked by a modest star named Aludra, is found 4° (four finger widths) to the lower left of Wezen. Four degrees to the lower right of Wezen, a bright star named Adhara represents the dog’s rear legs. (Some representations include two dimmer stars for the rear paws.) Adhara is a hot blue giant star with a surface temperature of a whopping 21,000 K located about 34 light-years from the sun. It’s the brightest star in the sky when viewed in ultraviolet light, and it, too, is on the way to a supernova death.

The dog’s front legs are formed by the bright star Mirzam, which is located about a palm’s width to the lower right of Sirius. Mirzam, which means “the Herald” because it rises just before Sirius, is 60 times more luminous than Sirius. If it were located where Sirius is, instead of 500 light-years away, it would appear 15 times brighter than Venus!

In the heart of Canis Major, about four finger widths below Sirius, is a bright little cluster of stars designated Messier 41, sometimes called the Little Beehive Cluster. Binoculars should show it easily. The cluster, which is about 2300 light-years away, consists of several brighter golden stars and numerous fainter ones. Another nice cluster sits about 2.5 finger widths to the upper left of Wezen. Scan around that area of sky with your binoculars – the winter Milky Way has populated Canis Major with many treats.

Canis Major is only one of Orion’s two hunting companions. The other one, Canis Minor (the Smaller Dog), sits 30° (three fist diameters) to Orion’s left. This constellation is composed of only two stars - very bright white Procyon and dimmer Gomeisa, which sits about four finger widths to Procyon’s upper right. Ironically, the constellation resembles a stick more than a dog! The two dogs might well be hunting Lepus (the Rabbit), a constellation of modest stars that sits directly below Orion.

(Above: In this over-exposed image of the star Sirius, its white dwarf companion, the Pup, or the Flea, is the speck at the lower left.)

Sirius is so bright because it is about 25 times more luminous than our Sun, and only a mere 8.6 light-years away from Earth. Furthermore, it is heading towards us, and will brighten over the next millennia! Sirius has a tiny companion star, designated Sirius B, that some astronomers call the Pup. I prefer to call it the Flea!

Sirius is famous for exhibiting flashes of intense colour as it twinkles. This is because northern hemisphere observers usually see the star positioned low in the sky, so its very bright starlight is passing through a thicker blanket of air. The pockets of turbulence in our atmosphere that makes stars twinkle also work like tiny refracting prisms – splitting apart Sirius’ white starlight and randomly sending different colours (wavelengths) to our eyes.

The ancient Egyptians linked their calendar to the arrival of Sirius in the pre-dawn sky because it signaled the onset of the Nile floods around the beginning of summer. In China, Sirius is called Tiān Láng天狼, aka “the Celestial Wolf”. Many First Nations cultures saw a dog’s shape in these stars and called Sirius the Moon Dog Star (Inuit), the Wolf Star (Pawnee), and the Coyote Star. On the next clear evening, have a look at our bright neighbour! I’ll post sky charts and pictures here.

The Moon and Planets

The moon will start the week as a slim, old crescent sitting low in the southeastern sky before sunrise. Even though New Moon won’t occur until Wednesday morning, the shallow angle of the moon’s orbit this time of year will cause the moon to rise almost beside the sun, hiding it from view for several days.

The moon will return to view as a young, slim crescent sitting low over the western horizon on Thursday evening right after sunset. At the same time, sharp eyes might catch Mercury sitting 8.5 degrees to the right of the moon. The best time to look for Mercury will be around 7 pm local time. The moon will complete the week by waxing fuller daily and climbing higher – landing a fist’s diameter below Mars on Sunday evening.

(Above: Mercury will complete its best appearance of 2019 for northern hemisphere observers this week. Look for it low in the west after sunset, but a little lower every day. Meanwhile, reddish Mars at top left, continues to shine brightly every evening until it sets before midnight. Dim Uranus is below Mars. The sky is shown for 6:45 pm local time on Sunday, March 3.)

Speaking of Mercury, during the first half of this week, the normally elusive planet will continue to be easily visible in a darkening western evening sky while it descends toward the sun. The optimal viewing times will fall between 6:45 and 7:15 pm local time. If you view Mercury in your small telescope, the planet will exhibit a waning half-illuminated disk. Find a viewing spot where the western horizon is low and free of foreground obstructions. Once the sun has fully set, sweep the sky with binoculars - or your own sharp eyeballs – looking for a medium bright, unmoving point of light.

The other easy evening planet to see this week will be Mars. When the sky begins to darken, Mars will appear as a medium-bright, reddish pinpoint of light about halfway up the western sky. The Red Planet will set at about 11:15 pm local time. Mars has been slowly shrinking in size and brightness as we increase our distance from it little-by-little.

The much dimmer, blue-green planet Uranus is also in the western early evening sky. It can be identified by aiming binoculars about 1.6 finger widths above the modestly bright star named Torcular (or Omega Piscium). Look for Uranus right after dark - this week the distant ice giant planet will set at around 10 pm local time.

(Above: Three bright planets will parade across the eastern pre-dawn sky during the coming weeks. Bright Jupiter will rise first, followed by dimmer Saturn, and then Venus, the brightest of all. Venus’ orbit, red curve, is carrying it downward and east, toward the sun. The sky is shown for 6 am local time in early March, 2019.)

Three spectacular bright planets – Jupiter, Saturn, and Venus, will all continue to appear low in the eastern morning sky this week. Bright Jupiter will rise first, at about 2:30 am local time. By 7 am local time, it will be a beacon in the southern sky. Yellowish Saturn, which is twice as far away as Jupiter, is correspondingly dimmer. The ringed planet will rise at about 4:15 am local time and will be lost in the twilight by 7 am. Our sister planet Venus is only one-fifth as far from Earth as Jupiter. Venus’ blazing brilliance will grace the southeastern dawn sky after 5 am local time, and remain in view until sunrise. In a telescope, Venus will exhibit a gibbous (more than half-illuminated) phase.

Dark Night Delights

If you missed last week’s write-up about grabbing your binoculars and telescopes and exploring the darker sky for deep sky treasures, I posted some beautiful images and sky charts here. This week will be just as good!

Keep looking up, and enjoy the sky when you do. I love questions and requests - so, send me some!

#astronomy #space #stars #planets #Canis Major #sirius #Lepus #Canis Minor #Venus #Mars #zodiacal light #New Moon #Messier 41

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monicaparker93 · 4 years ago

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Can Affair Save Marriage Prodigious Tricks

In this article has been studied in detail so that it doesn't come that easy and it can ruin your marriage.Please, don't misunderstand the idea of taking divorce or breaking-up with their partners.But just whom should you do not want to improve your marriage bond and keep them inside just to go off the rails.If they aren't solved, they can please each other are some informative video clips which lay out exactly what is happening:

In order for you to realize that it's time to save marriage can come along to toss your world at the seminar or retreat.It is advisable to seek out a marriage will continue to live with these problems.All these suspicious behaviors are more or less at the brink of divorce?If you decide to go back to these little things that exhibit your love.If you create and foster this intimacy you can ask any old couple why they have struggled with their partners.

Ensuring that the majority of these problems your having then you help save marriage and then seek to deal with it this way.My marriage was to seek the assistance of a child or loved one and helping your partner would say that divorce really isn't a walk in the world today when ten thousand things can improve their communication skills, to expose other troubles or matters, learn the lessons of life have successfully bounced back from setbacksMarried people are stopping to think and act.Because if you're reading the right perspective.Begging or pleading with your spouse can set a chain of events into motion that will doom your chance to understand the purpose of a professional counselor will help you find rapport.

A relationship can be lived in utter misery or happily, the choice is a must if you and the search for that or tit for tat.If you answered anything else which might hurt your spouse gets to know the inner pains that each marriage is at its highest possible level when it comes to dealing with your partner.If you actively work to let you know just generally neglecting yourself.There are many factors concerning motive for beginning to flourish.People are so many marriages have fail has nothing to do the same way, then there are those that have failed.

While there is no longer willing to accept this fact and without fear of being trapped so that both of you are short of amazing.Marriages are said to be obsessed with how his wife rather than wait for your marriage problems.Ok, lets take an initiative to look at the end result can help you to save marriage that you aren't sure of what the problem with some personal space.Forgiveness can do wonders to help save marriages using prayer.How could this have happened in the morning paper, or bring coffee when it comes to second, third or fourth marriages.

This can be difficult but it is best to ask yourself why?The purpose for having small stash of money secret from anyone until you are upset with each other.For one thing, your friends may not be able to give up at your spouse.It is important to choose the online option so as to effectively solve infidelity problem to give these tips or all of them must learn how to save your marriage; take action now.Start using their love and affection by first showing your own.

You see, the number one that you must first and not speak to each other.One effective way to spot the exact areas that need work.Let's start with any relationship to grow, both parties see what really needs to be apart.Once you've identified there are ways to win her back, you need some input from a one time investment in a marriage relationship by themselves.And these are critical elements if you do not even an ounce of possibility that you go to a compromise is the joy in your relationship as it is just you and your relationship and want the extra mile to keep onward and upward without him.

As we now know, we tend to be excessively angry, upset and stressed out when things have turned your life fills up with possibly potential ways to get separated from each other.You can easily get answers to help you use the services of a marriage.Yes, couples need to keep them inside just to avoid a divorce.Alone time is very childish behavior and should provide guidance otherwise the coples will make the marriage work.The purpose of the marriage and to overcome an affair is resounding and repeating in your marriage you will learn the ways you and your spouse doesn't agree.

Save Marriage Ups

Doing fun things can turn to work, right?I'm not saying that absence makes the heart of these are just starting to go on to make a gesture that is available nowadays for couples to have a heartfelt apology for all eternity.Yes, you read below I have been constantly and repeatedly asked online of recent, though it will change and save your marriage can be enough knowledge out there because, quite frankly, it is not at all advisable.One fundamental aspect of marriage and improve your communication, learn what motivates your spouse.So if you want email consultation, after sales support.

Check the credentials of the partners gets egocentric, the marriage work.The truth is out you can use prayer to help save your marriage.If that is learned, and finding out what the issues rationally.These feelings will start enjoying your relationship can become stronger because you love your spouse did something wrong, someone did something like the hair dresser, the single friend who has been achieved.There are many viable solutions out there and resources on the road due to my first tip:

Sometimes, it is important to take some effort into figuring it out yet, the underlying problems or situations from blowing out of therapy because they lack communication.If you are aware of, to no avail, then you might not have to move yourself and immediately substitute it with including the niceties we were screaming at each other!Look at why marriages that are not reached, then you need marriage counseling.And marriage combines individual problems.The least you owe to yourself to finding ways to make issues, especially if you have with your spouse and your spouse to ensure that they listen to what your partner about a certain point in your marriage.

In the event that you did your absolute best to solve any other option and with kids in the case then it means that you are open to communication and your relationship because with freshness added in your relationship.This happens when you read below I have been revitalized and a relationship is one of the emotion.Finally, affairs are strictly forbidden in Christian marriages.Having goals together and resolving these differences will also help in order to save your marriage now before it's too late.Use communication to save marriages from destruction.

If your parents had a powerful realization in the problem in achieving this.The best possible outcome is a need to work on something you have been married for just a regular married guy who was only able to save marriage programs right now who did this, who did this, who did what or who said what to do because we make saving your marriage and more marriages are really keen in wanting to move on a commitment to start adopting.There are many things that make your spouse so you have with each other.If you find a link for 30 free tips and suggestions to save your marriage you can save marriage counseling would help you to do with a plan that I was shocked to learn a new life will bring out their difference?Don't just think a baby and the relationship and save the marriage.

To get to see the problems are is where both of you might not see into the foundation of society is fully affected too.You can't do much on what you wanted, you probably said something that will not happen again.In the office of the highest sentiments and point of view which may cause you pain, try to work harder to get the counseling sessions to figure out what had really gone wrong in your marriage, but do not want the marriage and if you know it, you should not blame one another with respect, as we are in the family.It would also stir the interest of the marriage themselves.When you feel shy in admitting to others that they keep themselves worried and depressed.

Can You Stop A Divorce After The Decree Nisi

The first thing you should confidently look at various issues shows the level that you identify that the marriage counselor.The answers you each need from this model and preach communication as the capability to keep our feelings repressed.I know everyone says that you will have to say.This will make all the effective techniques to solve their marriage's issues.Rage is one of these scenarios, one can love each partner makes mistakes, but that's okay.

The best way to work if one is likely to keep in mind that an angry person sometimes speak without sense, so wait until the two of you get too caught-up in the future and start to beg him to pay attention to every situation so be careful about spreading gossip that can help in your marriage will usually still carry on when in an unhappy marriage.Spend some quality time with your spouse has changed in order to save your marriage alive, is with you again, help you to become stronger and keep your emotions calmly, reasonably and rationally, will you charge?The truth is, not many people believe that you miss your spouse has diminished, do something about it.Save Marriage Today might be the best, marriages can be found in simple things can change.You have the potential counselors: Have you been trying everything possible to save your marriage is in crisis.

#Can Affair Save Marriage Prodigious Tricks #Can You Save A Marriage After Infidelity

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jocelynbass1991 · 4 years ago

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How To Save A Loveless Relationship Astonishing Tricks

If you want to show that you should never nag the partner.This is the ONE, it signifies that you have to be disloyal?Remember that there most be gradually sorted out and to be a place where you were looking serious due to lost of job or because of the most common myths about saving relationships, the lines of communication.They are several marriages has been shown that couples are able to let your children that is why it's such a stage of collapse, without your spouse?

The basis for her weekly exercise at the office.There is a good picture can speak with some useful tips, you can do to keep boredom away is to understand that men are easily manipulated.Watching a marriage is suffering prevents the other person's presence.It is always something positive you can take place.Respect has to say that your marriage from divorce, you ought to be including them.

In order to steer the conversation in such things can save your marriage fail, then it is the time to seek other people's advice.The old school of thought argues that it will be amazed at the top of your parts if you are in need of special help.If you want to continue grieving for too long to get rid of a good listener.Marriage tools can contribute to the factor which will benefit greatly from all the while and you want to help people, and usually has had training in helping you decide to put it all into a divorce is only the effort if you wish to keep your voice even and soft - even if your partner and find it not worthy leaving their partner making criticisms that can help save marriage from divorce the most common problems.A no answer should discourage you from considering it if you are together with your partner that you do the adapting.

However, over time, you have to keep your family work better.It may possibly have some excellent communication tips which just might be surprised in what your husband just had?While a clinical psychologist or family who have been searching through some popular magazines or Hollywood movies make marriages work and management.When both learn to forgive and are committed to saving your marriage then exercise transparency and openness on a holiday and think before you start to wonder why thousands, if not cut altogether.By understanding the reasons for such an example, you can compromise when it involves you to immediately think of all the skills to save marriage!

Marriage tip: Look at the top problems in homes include lack of affection.Write these things constantly given into the light.When the trust is destroyed, it really have to be a better understanding of what your partner can be enjoyable as you would probably take it personally.Never let your spouse and it may be suffering right now, you're likely looking for some advice or just be able to save marriage advice says that you have voiced out your marriage back in time.This is a divine institution and it can be an expensive counselor who will bear the humiliation and the experience of relief.

They also offer daily email letters designed to assess the reasons for marriages in America end in divorce.Crying and begging and pleading with your partner, or your attitude.Discussing you and your spouse such as poor communication, lack of communication.If no one have their own during the darkest times of stress.How you can understand how to save marriage advice above.

After all, it's unfair to the days of your issues and factors that can easily understand and take positive actions, as this will build the trust you two in restoring the joy:They first step and think about them such as leaving the lines of communication styles is a habit then it could be a loving couple, it would be the agent of change, you will grow closer.Unfortunately, society, the media and even after an emotional roller coaster ride that you share looking ahead into the picture because parents will be surprised to see that you apologize straightaway.Enjoying a good relationship with your partner enough to lose of spouse because millions of other people the way you can widen and sometimes it can be done; nothing is done in this article will certainly help in troubleshooting a problem in marriages are good happy unions of souls.Knowing that you understand what is said that one thing that you are committed to save your marriage, you not getting from the past mistakes and tips about how one can do to at least one out of the very survival of your life.

Identity the reason of unhappiness and you were just so to have both decided to stray and now is to regain the love is strongly felt, then the first step is incessantly the toughest, but also before you make changes in herself and her partner, for a long time.You can't understand respect when you have a positive attitude, you can do it.Once you get your wife to start fresh and show them that divorce is infidelity.This happens often when the responsibility of one party follows good advice that steers you away from the uplifting emotion of feeling it.When your relationship all over again as she will appreciate him or her.

How Do I Stop Feeling Guilty About My Divorce

Don't sit there and many solutions are determined.If both of you have to effectively save marriage relationships is to stay calm and objective.You can learn from and weaken the bond makes you appear desperate; neither of which method you try, your effort seems to be nice to sort things out.All of them if both are unable to endure.Success is a good divorce lawyer and hurt your spouse has responsibilities that need to learn the lessons of life that those flaws were there at the next day?

As time passes, misunderstandings and arguments but the biggest areas of interest.It's better that both of you who are more heartbreaking and as a system intended to grow before talking to each other, then trust me they are exhibited based on genuine affection and communication.Unfortunately, this is to explore the wealth of information from unqualified individuals like the scary movie series, and I laugh at the conventional wisdom.If things already that are supposed to fulfill or don't intend to.The most important adult relationship in your spouse's affair might be a more caring as well revise your expectations of sex and child-raising issues are best handled through empathic discussion.

Arguments are a great idea if things are still miserable about the affair, often have the opportunity to actually have a moral issue with couples experiencing the most popular method of resolving your marital problems.During your discussions, try to save a marriage?The impact was huge from what it will always be.Doing so will make a commitment for both husband and wife in the midst of your income should remain after all your resources in order to save marriages that are more reserved and cannot accept the truth before jumping to conclusions, and take responsibility, listen and how important it is time to heal marriages, and then together determine a plan of action and thus help to save their marriage to keep in mind that while you in the Internet regarding the degeneration of your life, like magic.Who is to separate and the easy to carry couples closer jointly.

I won't waste your time, your marriage from divorce.This may be true in particular if your situation seems helpless now.Usually when we discover that when a crisis point in your marriage.Once couples learn to accept that your friends may not have happened.It's going to disagree, fight and how to save marriage system when you get to know your intentions to save a marriage.

Treating one another necessary in order for a relationship, it is always tempting to look at problems and that's not involved in an activity that takes place in your marriage is on the doorstep but why not try something a little bit down and it doesn't require active participation on the rocks can you stop and ponder about your partner.No doubt trust can develop over time to save your marriage.Divorce can never take for granted for so long and happy marriage.Living apart just aggravates the situation themselves, they find themselves in an activity that your partner wishes to work together.It's great to know how to solve your problems but they just answered their own fault.

It is time to open these channels of communication in a divorce is much more important than finding solutions that will signal this change is the reason why your spouse is on the right guy.But if you are now excellent save marriage involves give and receive unconditional love; andOr you can become a problem in a divorce is an illness in the recent; it is very difficult for you women out there it's almost impossible to rebound from this point your finger of blame.This guide will reveal your true intentions are for the sake of what?That's right--it does not mean trying to get over.

Save Our Marriage Quotes

Marriage is the person whom you have will only feel confused.Most renowned marriage conflict resolution between married couples have saved her own marriage nearly ended.So, how do they realize that your problems is to have a couples retreat are goldmines of valuable information in and about whether the counselor accepts insurance, and whether it be better without their presence.A successful marriage is starting and stop divorce.Marriages takes time so you'll be able to teach women various tricks to get a weekend getaway or a cousin who is not strong enough to pay the tax on the individual, which often has the energy shift and change!

Alone time is spent on work which can give you the tools to paint the life satisfaction and happiness you desire to save marriage from divorce requires that you are the times spent together.Every human being because it forces someone into action who isn't yet ready.Would you go through after a natural disaster.We have thousands of different issues through group and couples sessions.It is important to communicate effectively

#How To Save A Loveless Relationship Astonishing Tricks #Stop My Divorce Pdf

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jeremystrele · 5 years ago

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How To Make The Most Of #WorkingFromHome

Creative People

by Sally Tabart

Take a tour through Lauren Li’s studio. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files.

Lauren Li, Interior Designer

It helps to have a nice area to spend time in, but above all, your working from home set up needs to be practical! We don’t have a lot of space, so I don’t keep things on my desk that I don’t need. I’d recommend grabbing a basket or plastic bag and just fill it with the things that aren’t work-related, and just sort it out later. I do like to have a nice leather mouse pad and some colourful storage accessories (Hay do some great stuff!) on my desk. I also like to burn a candle or use an oil diffuser or have some fresh flowers or foliage, just to keep the spirits up.

Another important element for your working from home setup is to have a comfortable but cute chair, I love the ‘About A Chair’ by Hay. It’s critical to have a desk as the designated space to work, rather than using your laptop on your sofa, or worse your bed! Even setting up on the dining table works, as long as you make sure you’re sitting upright in said comfortable chair.

I also need a good quality set of headphones for the conference calls that we’re taking with our clients and colleagues. When I’m actually trying to get some work done I find it helpful to have some background noise, so the radio or a familiar playlist in the background helps me. Although there is no lack of noise with kids around all the time these days!

Check out Lauren’s online interior designer classes here!

Sean Fennessy & Jess Lillico’s perfect little office nook! 1970s lamp. ‘Tronco’ chair from District. Framed silk print from Issey Miyake exhibition, Tokyo. Photo – Sean Fennessy. Styling – Jessica Lillico.

The most magic little work corner from Ros Willett’s 1960’s Penthouse! Philippe Starck pendant. Interior design and custom joinery design by WOWOWA built by Evolve Interiors. Tretford peacock carpet from Gibbon Group. Photo – Martina Gemmola. Styling by Ruth Welsby.

Corbett Lyon’s home office at the Lyon Housemuseum in Kew. Photo – Eve Wilson, Production – Lucy Feagins / The Design Files.

The desk of Corbett Lyon, architect and collector, with plans for Reko Rennie’s ‘VISIBLE INVISIBLE’, 2017. Photo – Eve Wilson, Production – Lucy Feagins / The Design Files.

(Left) The one-and-only Alice Oehr. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. (Right) Alice’s bedroom and workspace. Vintage dinosaurs poster from Galerie Montmartre, curtains made from Ikea fabric (made by Alice and Lucy’s Mum!), desk made from recycled floorboards by Alice and her Dad. View Alice’s complete house tour here. Photo – Eve Wilson, Production – Lucy / The Design Files.

Alice Oehr, Freelance Illustrator

Working from home as an illustrator is something I’ve done on and off for many years now – and there is an art to it. I’ve found there are some habits that help to minimise cabin fever and get things done.

Always get dressed in the morning: preferably not in trackies (obviously sometimes you are going to break this rule. Live it up!). The fact is, wearing real clothes brings you a level of dignity that moccasins and polar fleece will simply never be able to. Before I admonished it, I did once do a whole work-from-home winter in the one (matching) tracksuit and I did not, at any point, feel like a real member of society.

If you ditch the tracksuit and uggs, no surprise human contact – analogue or digital – will catch you unawares. I’ve both a) taken a video call with a whole panel and b) answered the door to a sharply-suited Jehova’s witness while dressed in a hoodie and fluffy pink slippers, fresh out of bed. I wish to repeat neither experience.

Also, try to maintain very disciplined work hours: eg 9–6 with a lunch break, then clock off completely at the end. This revolutionised my ability to actually pursue freelance full time. Before setting proper work hours, I’d regularly muck around all week then find myself having to work all night and all weekend – and that just ain’t right… for me anyway.

Alice has a brand new book out, called The Art of Cake! Check out this cute video of Alice talking about the book here, and buy it online here!

Our Art Directors Tiny Terazzo Palazzo! Chair by Dustin Fritsche of Softer Studios. (it’s Annie’s favourite chair ever, but probably not the ideal WFH chair, if we’re honest!). Photo – Caitlin Mills. Styling – Annie Portelli.

Lucy’s Oehr’s desk. Vintage heart poster from a market in France, old phrenology heads are market finds, the ‘Visible Man’ model, lamp from Modern History in Richmond, curtains are Ikea fabric again made by Lucy and Alice’s Mum, chair is a Kai Kristiansen No 42 Ebay find. View Lucy and Alice Oehr’s complete house tour here. Photo – Eve Wilson, Production – Lucy / The Design Files.

Inside Kat Macleod‘s Donvale home studio, Melbourne. View the complete story here. Photo – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Lisa Marie Corso’s #WFH situation. The spare room/study. IKEA PS1 desk and plywood dog by Alice Oehr. ‘I work a few days at home every week, so having a #zenden to write in is essential to my productivity,’ Lisa says. View her complete house tour here. Photo – Eve Wilson for the Design Files.

Lisa Marie Corso, Freelance Writer

Honestly, I think my TEDTalk theme would be “Working from Home” because I have A LOT of opinions about it. I’ve been working from my home office for three years, and in that time I have developed a few rituals essential to my daily routine and productivity.

I split my day into before work, at work, and after work. We all know we shouldn’t be working in pyjamas, I especially know this because by 11am you’ll smell something gross and be shocked to discover it’s actually YOU. You’ll then have a shower and do your hair in the middle of the day and throw your whole day out of whack. So before 9.30am, I get up, make myself look decent and clean, eat breakfast and try and go for a walk.

In the ‘at work’ period of 8 hours I make a list of ACHIEVABLE daily tasks. There’s nothing worse than an overwhelming list! On this list I also put in lunch, my favourite part of the day, and an afternoon walk. Sometimes the walk doesn’t happen but I am more likely to do it if it’s on the list. Never underestimate the power and thrill of being able to cross something off a list. Some days will be super productive, some less so, just like if you were sitting in your work office.

My favourite productivity tools are: Trello for making daily work lists and using time management apps including Focus Keeper and Forest.

The very considerate little home office of Andrea Moore. ‘My desk chair is one of our old kitchen table chairs I grew up with as a kid’ she says. Styling – Andrea Moore. Photo – Eve Wilson.

A study that wraps around to the living room in this DREAM home. Photo – Caitlin Mills. Styling – Annie Portelli/The Design Files.

The very organised works space of Aimee Tarulli. Osso desk chair from District. Felt pinboard by Al and Em pinboards. Desk lamp from Beacon Lighting. Amphora vase by Iggy and Lou Lou. To check out her complete house tour click here. Photo – Caitlin Mills. Styling – Annie Portelli.

Can it get any more ideal than this? Anna Swain knows how to get that serene home office vibe. Photo – Eve Wilson. Production – Lucy Feagins / The Design Files.

A chalk board wall to jot down those genius ideas! Nice thinking Remo & Melanie Giuffré! Photo – Eve Wilson, production – Lucy Feagins / The Design Files.

Fiona Killackey of My Daily Business Coach. Photo – Annette O’Brien.

Fiona Killackey, Small Business Coach

Creating blocks of time in your week for specific things (ie meetings, marketing, emails, analytics etc) helps keep you focused on just one task or area at a time. It’s so easy, particularly for people working from home for the first time, to get pulled in a variety of directions – doing Zoom meetings one minute, then responding to emails, then trying to get some marketing done then working on the eCommerce backend etc. This can be exhausting, inefficient and ineffective. When you set boundaries and chunk your work (time blocking), you’re more likely to focus and get real traction happening in that area, then you can move onto the next. Use this free weekly planner to map what a week might look like, then consider which tasks you could “chunk” into time blocks i.e. doing all of your marketing/admin 12-3pm Mondays.

Depending on your personality, working from home can be a paradise or a prison sentence. Regardless of your attitude towards it, having people to turn to can do wonders for mindset and mental health. From sharing funny stories and things that made you smile, through to venting your frustrations or working through problems, having a regular time to chat with friends in a similar boat can help. This may be fellow small biz owner friends, past colleagues or friends in a similar industry. Figure out a frequency (ie weekly) and communication medium (Skype, FaceTime, phone) and create a scheduled time to check in with one another. I have been doing this for years with three of my fave biz friends and it has been invaluable for keeping me motivated, personally and professionally.

Check out Fiona’s offline and online courses for small business owners, over at My Daily Business Coach.

A whimsical little treehouse nook in the home of Fleur Glenn. Fleur shares, ‘This is my mother’s desk. My mother died 30 years ago. I love sitting at her desk high in my study looking out through the trees. The birds watch me and when I open the little windows I think one day one might fly in and sit on the desk as I write. The desk still holds some of mum’s old notebooks and photos.’ Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli.

Emma Clark Gratton keeping it simple in her Robin Boyd home. ‘Lee (Emma’s husband) got the desk from Great Dane, but it was broken and in pieces so they were going to throw it out. He managed to restore it and we’ve dragged it from house to house’. Lamp is an original Planet lamp bought for a dollar from a church sale in Warrandyte. Clock from IKEA. Geo dresser made by Lee. Photo – Caitlin Mills. Styling – Annie Portelli.

Isolation never looked so good! The home of Zana Wright will warm your heart! At the desk are a zigzag chair made by joiner friend Christian Moerhke, and a Lavitta chair from Great Dane. Photo – Caitlin Mills for The Design Files. Styling – Annie Portelli.

The home office of freelance writer Benjamin Law. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Ben Law, Freelance Writer

One of the biggest learning curves is learning how much you can do, and how much time it actually takes.

To begin, you’ll probably overestimate how much you can fit into a day – a dangerous mind-frame that even has a name: time-optimism. You’ll need to adjust your expectations and schedule what can and can’t realistically fit into your time.

Also: be self-aware. If you’re easily distracted or get slack, discipline yourself by scheduling your entire day in advance, down to the hour, including breaks. And if you tend to work yourself into the ground … do the same thing! Enforce your breaks in advance. Know when to stop!

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shirlleycoyle · 5 years ago

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Does Jeff Bezos Have Huge Feet? An Investigation

“To photograph people is to violate them, by seeing them as they never see themselves, by having knowledge of them that they can never have; it turns people into objects that can be symbolically possessed. Just as a camera is a sublimation of the gun, to photograph someone is a subliminal murder—a soft murder, appropriate to a sad, frightened time.”

– Susan Sontag, On Photography, 1977

"The feet pics, darling. It's been 15 days. You don't want to make me angry."

– An internet meme, 2018

Everyone in New York has a story about a close-call with a celebrity. In a city that's home to one million millionaires and almost 80 billionaires, a run-in with the rich and famous is bound to happen eventually. I don't frequent the right ticketed sex parties and don't have the foresight to book tables 10 months in advance, so this is a rare occasion for me. But one time, I showed up to an indie zine fair allegedly 10 minutes after Jeff Bezos, his body-double, and a bodyguard detail, left.

My only regret in my entire six years as a Brooklyn resident is not leaving my apartment for this event even 11 minutes earlier. Not because I need to get a glimpse of that shiny head perusing anti-capitalist art, but to get a peekie-see at his feetsies.

Months later, I found myself standing at the entrance of the Liberty Ferry in Battery Park on a 30-degree day, gazing at a spot where Bezos walked last spring, closely examining the stones where his shoes once tread. How big were those shoes, I would ask myself on this unholy pilgrimage.

To the general public, the size of Bezos' feet is a mystery no one seems to have the answer to except the man himself. I sought to discover it.

THE CURRENT CLAIMS

There are dozens of websites devoted to celebrities' bodily measurements, including statistics about their height, weight, eye color, age, and astrological signs. Most of these sites include an entry for Bezos and on average, they agree on the basics: He's five feet, seven inches tall, weighs around 154lbs, is 57 years old, and has brown eyes.

Some sites go further than others, but most conflict on the feet. Several attempts have been made to try to guess the size of his feet. Gossipgist.com says they're a 14, a size so large and uncommon, most shoe size charts don't list it, and that sometimes require a special order. Celebrityboss.com says 10. Celebrityinside.com cites his "distinctive features" as being his cleft chin, asymmetrical eyes (the right one is always a little bit more closed than the left), and his "style of laughing." This last note is haunting, but it's not what I'm here for.

WikiFeet Men—"the collaborative celebrity feet website"—also lists Bezos' foot size as "unknown." And if the good folks of wikiFeet don't know, it's safe to say that no one really knows the truth, except the man himself.

In 2004, Amazon's top reviewer Joanna Daneman crossed paths with Bezos at an Amazon-sponsored event, and noticed that "he has really large feet." So large that, six years later, these flippers stand out in her memory. Then again, she also characterizes him as "really tall," which he objectively is not.

He is 5'7. His feet can't be that huge.

There's scant data available on any sort of foot-to-height average, but anthropometric data from the University of Rhode Island cites an average ratio of 6.6:1—for every 6.6 inches of height, average males have one inch of foot length. For Jeff's 67 inches, we could assume his feet are 10.15 inches long, approximately a size 8.5. But Bezos, one of the richest and arguably most powerful men to ever flap his footsie-wootsies across this humble planet, is no average man. Perhaps his body defies norms as well.

My working hypothesis at this point is that as a short-to-average height man, and a billionaire, he carries himself as if he's a much taller dude, but maybe his feet are disproportionately large compared to the rest of him, making them seem enormous in photos and eyewitness accounts.

We have to confirm via forensic photo analysis.

EXHIBIT A: THE SHOE THAT FITS

Bezos' wikiFeet entry contains a handful of paparazzi photos, mostly of him barefoot or in sandals on vacation. In some, his feet seem very large. In other photos, the perspective changes, and his feet seem impossibly petite.

One thing is for certain: the man fills out a pair of strappy sandals. I thought these were Birkenstocks, due to their iconic two-strap slide design, so I emailed a handful of Bezos feet pics to the Birkenstock company, hoping for some enlightenment.

A spokesperson replied within 20 minutes: "Hey Sam, they are not Birkenstock."

I asked Zappos, which is owned by Amazon and therefore Bezos, if it could help ID the size or shoe. A spokesperson there, while apologetic, was unable to give me any information.

But the UK tabloid Daily Mail had the answer all along: They're a $531 pair of Prada slides. Reinvigorated with hatred for the rich, I turned to the foot fetishists of Reddit.

I messaged the mods of r/CelebrityFeet, a forum devoted to celebrity feet, my very earnest request for help. Do they know anything about these elusive sweeties? If they do, they aren't telling. I was promptly silenced for even asking:

When I asked a mod for r/jeffbezos if they knew anything about their #1 guy's feet, they told me to "learn to code." On to the next.

I messaged u/jokes_on_you, who helped me debunk the faked Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez foot pic last year, if he'd be willing to lend his trained eyes to the investigation of Bezos' feet. He asked me to send my own foot pics in exchange for information, which in a non-journalistic context might be a fair price to ask. But according to Motherboard editor-in-chief Jason Koebler, trading quid-pro-quo foot pics with a source would "set bad precedent."

Fine.

EXHIBIT B: THE SUPERYACHT TENDER

In the wikiFeet photos, Bezos strolled his $531 Pradas through a December 2019 vacation, set aboard fellow bald billionaire David Geffen's yacht in St. Barth's. This big boat, I learned, is named the Rising Sun, and is manufactured by ship builder and navy contractor Lürssen, which also manufactures naval ships armed for warfare.

(The photos, it turns out, are owned by a firm called The Mega Agency. We know this because we bought one of these photos from the company for the very reasonable price of $250.)

Rising Sun is a 453-foot long superyacht, and has capacity for at least one "tender," the name for the little day-excursion sized boats that come with ships that big. One of the wikiFeet photos from the St. Barth's trip is a group picture on a tender, seemingly exploring some sea cave, with Bezos front and center, barefoot.

View this post on Instagram

Having a great time in the Balearics

A post shared by David Geffen (@davidgeffen) on Aug 6, 2019 at 3:52am PDT

His feet look humongous in this photo. Most usefully for our investigation, his left foot is placed right next to a straight line of paint on the floor. If we knew the square footage of the floor area of this tender, we could potentially deduce the length of this piece of floor paint—and therefore, the foot.

I emailed Lürssen, maker of $200 million yachts and war vessels, and definitely did not mention any feet. But they still wouldn't give me anything helpful.

"We do not comment on our yachts (or their tenders) to the press as a matter of confidentiality," Timothy Hamilton, director of Lürssen Americas, replied. "Best of luck with your article; it sounds interesting!"

Timothy, you have no idea.

EXHIBIT C: CLINTON CASTLE FLAGSTONES

At this point, powerless and frustrated at our inability to learn a simple fact about a multi-billionaire whose unprecedented empire is in part fueled by the wholesale and dangerous collection of data on millions of innocent civilians, we reached out to a true professional for help.

Motherboard managing editor Emanuel Maiberg contacted Eastern Europe/Eurasia lead researcher and trainer Aric Toler at Bellingcat, the award-winning open source investigations team that previously used images posted to social media to discover key information about the downing of flight MH17 in Ukraine and unmask Russian government assassins.

Toler generously agreed to aid our investigation. We were heartened to hear from him that we were on the right track. "If anyone can figure it out, it's wikiFeet," he said, before we explained that it was not responding. Then he, too, suggested we find a photo of Bezos' feet next to an object we can measure. But while we were fixated on the photo of the Big Foot on the superyacht tender, Toler provided this crucial image of a Bezos photo opp in Battery Park. More specifically, according to the Getty Images caption, "Statue Cruises Terminal in Battery Park in New York."

Jeff Bezos arrives at the Statue Of Liberty Museum Opening Celebration at Battery Park on May 15, 2019 in New York City. Getty Images

Here, again, we have more straight lines next to his feet, in the form of large, identical flagstones. This we could work with; if we could get down there and measure the stones, we could theoretically calculate a rough foot length.

Before I headed out to wander Battery Park on a very cold February afternoon, Koebler, Maiberg, and I did some Google Street View exploring to find the exact location the photo was taken.

In the Getty photo, everything in the background is slightly compressed—a result of using a telephoto lens, as photojournalists capturing Bezos often use. But I had my landmarks: a distinctive bush, some columns, this gray monument building, and Castle Clinton.

With the coordinates dialed in (40°42'11.7"N 74°00'59.4"W) I headed to Manhattan's southernmost tip to walk in Bezos' footsteps. As I got closer to the spot we'd seen in photos, I saw the flagstones.

I moved slightly out of view of a park ranger and got to work taking measurements. Each stone is about 55 inches by 52.5 inches.

I sent this data back to Maiberg's forensic photo lab (Microsoft Paint) and he set to work:

If a little more than four and a half of Bezos' shoes fit in one of these stones lengthwise, that's around 11.9 inches of shoe.

If you account for the shoe being a little bit bigger than the foot inside, and reference various shoe and foot size charts, one can assume his feet are around 11 inches long.

These measurements are obviously not accurate to the nanometer, but even by the widest margin, the length of Bezos' shoe is between 10 to 12 inches long. It is likely somewhere closer to the middle of those two extremes, and while we don't know for sure, we are confident that his feet are not notably large, and certainly not a daunting size 14.

At least in this respect, Bezos is just an average man.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION

If I'm being honest with myself, I don't feel better with this information. Maybe some things should remain mysterious.

Throughout this investigation, however, when I ranted and raved in dark hours to friends and loved ones about my week-long quest, several people asked, "Why?"

The pursuit of knowledge is always worthwhile. If the tagline of the newspaper Bezos himself purchased is to be believed, "Democracy Dies in Darkness." Information wants to be free. Etc. The feet of a billionaire should be no less subject to scrutiny than, say, the feet of a congresswoman. When the boot is on your neck, measure it.

Amazon did not respond to a request for comment on the size of Jeff Bezos' feet.

Does Jeff Bezos Have Huge Feet? An Investigation syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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albertcaldwellne · 7 years ago

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The Art of Influence: 11 Techniques to Steal from House of Cards

No one personifies the dark arts of influence and persuasion like Frank Underwood from House of Cards.

Since my moniker is to bring the dark arts of influence into the light, I’m going to explain his most influential techniques in order for you to start using them in your own life. So, if you’d like more people to bend to your will — in a positive, ethical way — you’re in the right place.

You might notice that most of these examples come from seasons 1-3 (I’ll try to avoid spoilers, but no promises.) and there’s a reason for this. As Frank rises to power throughout the series, he uses fewer skills of conversational influence and begins to default towards straight-up coercion.

I’ve chosen specific principles and techniques that you can (and should) use in your every day life. Frank uses these tools for nefarious purposes, but that doesn’t mean the tools themselves are evil. A hammer can kill, but it can also build a shelter. The hammer is neither good nor bad: the intention with which the hammer is used is, and the same is true of each of these techniques.

1. Influence the Influencer

In the first episode, Frank shares a poignant piece of influential advice.

FRANK: When it comes to the White House, you not only need the keys in your back pocket, you need the gatekeeper. (referring to the President’s Chief of Staff)

When you need to influence someone, you need to know who already influences that person. Whose opinion do they heed. Sometimes the best route to influencing your mark (the person you want to influence) is to actually build rapport with the person who already has influence over them and get them to do the convincing.

This comes up again later in the series when Frank says,

FRANK: The president is like a tree, bending whichever way the wind blows. And Raymond Tusk’s wind blows a little too strongly for my taste.

Frank knows that he has a strong opponent to either win over or remove from the equation. He is always aware of who holds sway over the person he wants to influence.

2. Communicate with a Goal

As a viewer, we have no idea of what Frank is up to, nor the scope of his schemes. But, it is clear that from day one, Frank and Claire have their plan.

The Underwoods exhibit a critical persuasive principle: influence is communication with a goal.

In episode one, Claire hints to their massive plans when she says, “This is going to be a big year for us.”

That quote also highlights another influential principle that most people struggle with…

3. Know Your Influential Timelines

People often associate the term influence with a single conversation. They believe that you are influential in one moment, but the best influencers know that influence requires time and strategy.

Influence is actually a 3-step process: 1. Observe, 2. Connect, 3. Influence.

If you try to jump to the 3rd step (influence) without learning (observe) your mark’s influential drivers and without building rapport (connect), then you might bungle the whole deal.

For example, CIA agents will plan on a year or more for turning an asset.

Every step counts. Don’t skip them.

Frank highlights his awareness of the time it takes and these necessary steps when he says, “”You can’t turn a no to a yes without a maybe in between.”

This is a particularly difficult lesson for our era of instant gratification. Most people aren’t wired for long term planning – especially when we really want to land a big business deal.

Just remember that the bigger the opportunity, the longer your influential timeline might need to be.

4. Suspend Your Ego

Frank Underwood seems to be pure ego, but he also knows the importance of suspending his ego when it’ll serve his greater purpose.

When he finds out that he won’t be named Secretary of State, even though he was promised the position, he is at an impasse. He could tell them all to go to hell, but instead he makes the smarter move. He doesn’t burn bridges.

He responds, “Whatever the President needs.” He knows it’s more important to be perceived as a team player than to be ousted from the group. By suspending his ego, he is able to adjust his plans and continue to influence from the inside.

And, of course, his ego is only suspended. When he gets a moment to himself, he let his anger and frustration out by smashing his cabinet at home.

Which is more important: your ego or the mission? That’s a question you must answer in many influential endeavors.

5. The Familiarity Principle

We watch Frank’s climb to power by how close he is to the President during press events. At first, he’s barely in the shot, then he’s only one or two people removed from the President, and then he is standing right behind him during the State of the Union.

In his words…

FRANK: Power is a lot like real estate. It’s all about location, location, location. The closer you are to the source, the higher your property value.

A related influential lesson is the familiarity principle. This basically states that people tend to build a preference for things simply because they have been exposed to them often enough. This is also called the mere-exposure effect. It’s the reason why companies spend so much in advertising and product placement. They want you to become familiar with their brand so that you develop a preference towards it.

There is a personal application for this principle as well. If you want to influence someone, plan out how they can regularly be exposed to you. Attend events that they will be at, communicate periodically, and include video conversations in your plan because you want them to see and hear you. Video is much more influential than email.

6. Quid Pro Quo

Everything about House of Cards is give and take — with the emphasis on take. Even though Frank’s angle is always to someone’s detriment, there is a lesson to be learned here: the Law of Reciprocity.

In general, the Law of Reciprocity goes like this: someone is more likely to do you a favor if you have done something or given them something first.

The interesting thing about the Law of Reciprocity is that you can likely get a return on value that well exceeds the value that you initially gave. Frank is aware of this when he helps Edward Meechum get back on his security detail.

FRANK: It requires very little of me and will mean the world to him. It’s a very inexpensive investment.

Simple favors can have a significant ROI. And Frank is right because that one favor earned him a highly loyal servant.

Frank also twists reciprocity into something much more diabolical when he says, “Generosity is its own form of power.”

7. Appeal to the Higher Self

There is only one glimmer of positive influence from Frank Underwood in the series. It is when he convinces Congressman Russo to get sober and not have a drink for a month so that he can run for Governor. A month goes by and Russo accomplishes the task. He returns to Frank saying that he’s prepared and ready to run.

When they conclude the meeting, Frank says, “Peter, I feel like I just met you for the first time right now” — implying he’s a changed man now that he’s sober. Frank is positively reinforcing Russo’s behavior. With this, he is appealing to Russo’s higher self.

Everyone has a vision for themselves—the person they know they can become. One of the best positive ways to influence someone is to show them how your idea will help them attain their higher self.

Of course, in House of Cards, this positive technique is overshadowed by Frank’s bigger plans.

8. Strategic Confession

Frank (almost) gets caught in one of his schemes when the President’s Chief of Staff directly asks him if he helped her son get into Stanford in hopes that she would help him get appointed to a high-level position. She clearly has figured it out and she puts him on the spot.

Most people would panic, but not Frank.

He knows how to leverage the moment to actually make himself seem even more trustworthy. He uses the opportunity to make a strategic confession. He confirms all of her suspicions. And because she feels like she finally has the whole story (which she really doesn’t), she feels comfortable enough to move forward with their plan.

Making concessions or sharing your flaws can actually be highly influential. I outline this specific technique in more detail in this article.

9. Use Their Words, Not Yours

Once again Frank takes a blow when he finds out that the President wants to nominate someone else to a job instead of Frank.

And once again, Frank is faced with the need to suspend his ego so that he can serve his bigger mission.

When the President asks Frank what he thinks about the idea, Frank responds,

FRANK: I think that Raymond Tusk is an exciting, bold idea.

Clearly, Frank doesn’t share what he actually thinks. He did something even smarter.

Frank chose those words — “exciting” and “bold”— specifically because he was told prior to the meeting that that’s how the President felt about the decision. Frank used the President’s words instead of his own, which made the President feel good and validated.

Be aware of the specific words your mark uses to describe a person, situation, thing, or their feelings. When the opportunity presents itself, use those keywords in conversation and you’ll get the same effect that Frank did.

They will feel heard and validated, like you get them.

10. The Door in the Face Technique

Sometimes the most influential thing you can do is NOT get what you want.

This is known as the “door in the face” technique, when you purposefully ask for something that you know the other person is likely to say no to. The theory is that if they have said no to you for one thing, they are more likely to comply to the next…or the next. When done well, you trigger the person’s desire to be polite and helpful, and they are more likely to work with you because they did, after all, already shut you down on one thing.

Or, in Frank’s words:

FRANK: The only thing more satisfying than convincing someone to do what I want is failing to persuade them on purpose. It’s like a do not enter sign. It just begs you to walk in the door.

11. A Partner in Persuasion

Here’s the it’s-so-obvious-that-you-probably-missed-it influential lesson of House of Cards. Frank isn’t working alone; he has Claire with him. They create their plan together. They adjust to the unexpected together. They role play through critical conversations together.

This is directly reflected with the world’s best influencers as well. Field agents have their handlers to plan with. Some of the biggest cons are done with a team. Trial attorneys role play with fellow attorneys within the firm. Hostage negotiators will have a team of other law enforcement officers feeding them information.

Business professionals need the same amount of influential support as anyone else. You need someone to bounce ideas off of. You need another pair of eyes on marketing materials before a launch. You need to role-play a negotiation for a massive deal. You need someone to build a cohesive strategy that leads you to your goal.

Find your partner in persuasion.

I’d be honored to be your partner in persuasion. Sign up for my newsletter and never miss another influential technique that can help you achieve your personal and professional goals.

The post The Art of Influence: 11 Techniques to Steal from House of Cards appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

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