#i know that at this point most people know who hawke is bc of reputation/they became a noble

[thewardenisonthecase]

also, when meredith shows up she tells hawke she knows who they are because of the many reports with their name but like did those reports include a physical description or what? If bethany is a circle mage/carver is a templar then i completely understand how she knows just by looking at hawke, but else i'm like did cullen write these reports and decided to say what hawke looked like

[euphoricsunflowers]

until my lips turn blue — jeon wonwoo

a/n: thank you to @etherealyoungk for inspiring the confidence and motivation i needed for this! and thank u to @pusoatbuwan for being the best thank u bestie :) i hope you all like it !!

word count: 6.8k

content: fem!reader, mafia au, non idol au, mafia boss!reader, hacker!wonwoo, seungcheol is a bit of a dick i’m so sorry this is not representative of him irl, bestie mingyu, random monsta x kihyun cameo bc i needed a random idol lol, angst, mentions of food, murder, weapons, and drugs to varying degrees.

summary: to thank you for your gracious efforts in tracking down an attacker, seventeen offers to repay your favor. you ask for a date with the cute one with glasses.

“so,” you say, gazing at the fresh scar on seungcheol’s cheek. it hasn’t had a chance or any time to fade yet and you can tell by the fire in the eyes of his men that this was recent, “what happened?”

it’s hard to remember how you exactly got wrapped up in this mess. seungcheol ‘invited’ you over to discuss a certain issue, something vague like ‘internal matters’, but it felt off from the get-go. something was wrong.

and, clearly, you can tell something is wrong now.

he heaves out a sigh, letting his head fall into his hands before pushing his hair out of his face, “i don’t even know,” he says, “all i know is that my underboss in currently in the hospital, lying to every single medical personnel about why he has stab wounds on his thigh.”

your eyes wander around the room and they find a picture of seungcheol with another person, smiling like they were friends. you’d learn later that was him. yoon jeonghan. the underboss.

there’s 11 other people in this room besides you and seungcheol, which adds up in relation to your current knowledge of seventeen’s higher-ups. contrary to the name, there's 13 of them that are considered the most important to the seventeen organization, including their boss.

Seungcheol eyes burn into you, but you hold your ground, “well, that is unfortunate. i do send him my best regards, and i hope he recovers well and quickly, but i suppose…” you look around at all of the others, as if to calculate in your head the best move, “i don’t know what it is you want from me.”

“if i may be blunt,” he says as a proposition, but it’s more like a question. you nod, “i don’t know either,” he admits, “i don’t know what i expect you to be able to do, much less be willing to do. what i do know though, is that you have a reputation of being able to track people down like a hawk.”

you don’t acknowledge the compliment. he shifts, almost uncomfortably.

“all i am currently requesting is your assistance in finding the one who attacked us. should you help us, we will compensate you in whatever means you see fit,” he says almost desperately, you can’t see it in his face but you feel it, “i want revenge. i need your help to get it.”

“you’ll make sure i get something out of it?”

he sighs, “i’ll see to it that you get whatever you want out of this.”

“what do you know?” when you ask, one of the 11 other men steps up, handing a folder to you.

he doesn’t bother introducing himself, but you know of him. he’s incredibly well known for being able to gather information. he probably knows the street you grew up on and the color of your socks right now off the top of his head. his name is joshua, you remember. you’ve heard someone call his name before.

“these are stills from the security footages of the compound. this here—” he points to a spot on the first paper in the folder, “— is our guy. right here, he gets into a car. i ran the license plate, and it’s registered this individual here.” he points again, this time to a mugshot in the next page. there’s a list of charged and convicted crimes next to the picture, “but i don’t think they’re the same person. they have different builds.”

you agree, soon focusing on the name of the individual the car belonged to, “i know this man.”

seungcheol perks up at the good news, “you do? from where?”

“he’s the director of financial operations at a company an associate of mine owns. he’s very powerful, but he’s also had accusations of corruption and funding violence for years,” you say, “he responds to me directly, actually. it shouldn’t be too hard to get the info out of him.”

“well then,” seunghcheol says, “my men will assist you in any way required for the operation. feel free to ask for their assistance,” and with that, he leaves the conference room.

“is there anything required of any of us for you to investigate, miss?” one of them says after a moment. he’s tall, has too pretty a face for this kind of business. he kinda looks like a puppy.

“no, i should be able to go from here,” you make eye contact with another one. he’s wearing glasses, the thin frames complimenting his face well. he doesn’t acknowledge you more than just the brief eye contact, looking away as soon as it happens, “i’ll call the director now.”

“go right ahead,” joshua says, and you pull your phone out and call him, putting it on speaker.

the phone rings several times. there’s an unplaced tension in the room, and you’re not sure who exactly here is bubbling with anger, but you reconcile it with the fact that these are not just associates. they’re friends. and their buddy is in the hospital.

right before the last ring ends before it’ll stop trying, he picks up.

“hello?” he says.

“director lee, hello, thank you for taking my call,” you say, feeling eyes on you from all over the room.

he responds, “ah yes, hello boss. it’s my pleasure. what can i do for you?”

“well, i was hoping you could inform me on something,” you say, relaxing more into the chair, “you see, i’ve been looking for an individual who was found driving your car last night in unknown territory. did you know about this?”

he pauses. you can tell it’s to come up with a lie on the spot, “no, in fact. i had just assumed my car was stolen. i was almost about to alert the police, but i’m sure you understand why i did not.”

“i understand, director. i need you to cooperate with me,” you say.

“yes, boss. what can I do for you?” he asks.

you take in a deep breath, saying, “for reasons i am unable to disclose, i believe this individual is after us. also, the most recent sighting of your car after it was found so far away is in our territory, at the diner down the street from headquarters,” you fake a pause to hopefully show some hesitancy. you were far too good at playing scared, “i am… nervous, director. this individual stole your car, could have obtained the weapons we keep near the peer, there’s no telling what they’re up to or who sent them.”

the all watch you make a dramatic voice as you play up any potential worries. that’s the only way he’ll talk.

“i understand, miss. may i speak openly?” his question makes them all look up, and you almost have to mute yourself to silence your victory.

“yes, director. tell me,” you say with a hidden smirk on your face.

he pauses, and you worry for a second that he’s going to chicken out, but he doesn’t, “i sent the individual. my car was never stolen.”

bingo.

you ask, “who is it?”

“i’ll send over the information after this call,” he says. there’s a smile on joshua’s face as you look up, both silently understanding the victory you just won, “i wanted to send a message to seventeen, but he must have been attacked because he sent me a voice recording shortly after coming into contact with one of the higher-ups. something about accidentally hurting one of them before he got a chance to say something.”

you ask, trying to prompt more out of him, “what were you trying to say to them?” you only ask because you know they’d want you to.

“i do not have the best relationship with their leader. the reason is unrelated to our purposes in our group. i apologize for stressing you, boss.”

you respond with a simple, “i see, thank you, director.”

“of course, miss, should i send you the information right away?” he asks.

“yes, as soon as possible. have a good day, director,” you say and hang up. you look up at them as your phone pings. you show the notification to joshua.

“that’s him,” he says, pulling out a still from his folder, matching them up side-by-side, “this is our guy.”

“i can find him, leave that to me,” you say, “as a favor to seventeen, i’ll take care of him. you will all owe me, though. both for that phone call and for getting my hands dirty.”

“don’t get cocky,” another one says. he’s short, but he’s got this energy that screams ‘fuck with me, i dare you’, “let me know when you get it done.” he hands you a piece of paper with a string of numbers on it. lee jihoon.

you smile, almost like a smirk, “okay.”

and out the room you go.

he’s dead by the morning. you tell jihoon, and get no response, he simply hangs up as soon as he gets the news.

—

the letter is addressed from all of seventeen, but based on the formality of word choice, none of them had a hand in writing it. it was probably written by some subordinate, but it gets a simple message across.

seventeen’s acknowledgement that you were owed a favor. the, in writing, paper that guaranteed you something in return. it felt like solid gold.

you spend some time thinking about what it is exactly that you would like from them. there’s not many limits. if you wanted someone dead, they’d have it done by sunset. if you want illegal weapons for your own plans, they would provide them easily. anything you want, they could do.

that was what was so nice about your relationship with seventeen: you may not get along as people, but you get along as business partners. there is no worry that you will be attacked in their headquarters, and vice versa.

but did you need illegal weapons? not really. your casino heist plans were being made smoothly, and there were not many materials you could have requested to make it any easier. you had access to everything you would need, and then some.

did you need anyone dead? not particularly right now. there’s nothing you need help with right now, aside from maybe needing help with throwing a surprise birthday party for your niece. that, though, was doable on its own.

and then, the idea dawns on you.

—

the letter you return back is, on the contrary, written by you. seungcheol knows it’s you, because he’s seen your handwriting. you state your pleasure with working with them. you thank them for their assistance, especially joshua’s, in finding the first piece of evidence.

the moment you are done with formalities, you don’t hesitate to describe, in extreme, excruciating detail, the favor you would like back from them.

‘a date with the cute one that wears glasses’

you ask for a date. you couldn’t remember his name at the time of writing, so you describe him as the ‘one with the glasses’. you describe exactly what you want: a fancy restaurant dinner, him dressed in a suit with styled hair away from his eyes and maybe some jewelry, definitely wearing his precious specs. you’d pay, he’d walk you to your car, and the second the door shut and you were being driven away, seventeen will have paid their favor back.

your letter even reads:

‘there are no ulterior motives. should the favor be paid back successfully, SEVENTEEN will not be bothered over this matter again. should the favor not be paid back in this way, an alternative favor will not be provided unless sufficient reason is given.”

seungcheol almost laughs when he sees the letter, as he’s the first to read it. he wonders if you’re even being serious. it’s probably the most ridiculous request he’s ever gotten, but he can’t come up with a single reason as to why you’d play a prank like this, so he comes to the conclusion that you’re most likely serious.

a copy of the letter is sent over to wonwoo, the one with the glasses, and he reads it probably fifty times. maybe fifty-one.

nothing has ever made him so embarrassed, that’s the issue. not a single mistake he’s ever made or being chastised for not being good enough at his job has had the same effect. he feels the way mingyu’s eyes bore into him, knowing that wonwoo told him all about how he thought you were pretty, and that if you weren’t 1) a boss and 2) literally terrifying to speak to, he’d be down bad.

he feels awkward and clumsy for sticking out, for being the one pushed into the spotlight. he doesn’t particularly want to be the center of attention, but here he is, in his boss’s office, surrounded by his closest associates. he feels weirdly small as he sinks into the chair.

“i know this is… unconventional, wonwoo,” seungcheol says to him, leaning against his desk, “but you need to do this. it’s only dinner and we can’t owe her for much longer.”

“i know,” he says.

seungcheol continues, “there isn’t much of a choice, as well, you know that right?”

wonwoo recognizes the fading scar on seungcheol’s cheek as seungcheol talks to him. he remembers the moment it happened.

this was more than just giving you what you wanted so you were even as groups, but about genuinely thanking you for such a deed. he remembers watching jeonghan get stabbed in the thigh to protect chan. he remembers all the blood, that horrified look on chan’s face. that guy must have known he was a dead man the second he hurt jeonghan, that could have been why he ran. seungcheol is protective of all of them, but especially him.

“i know, i’ll do it,” he says, “i’ll do whatever is required of me. you know that, boss.”

“i know you will, it’s just that…” seungcheol looks uneasy, shifting his eyes away, “i don’t want this to become a bigger thing. don’t develop feelings, don’t do anything to make her develop feelings. just don’t make this messy. and don’t make it my problem.”

“i won’t,” wonwoo is, even in the best case scenario, slightly overestimating himself. he knows that, yet he still lies (not exactly but that’s what it feels like) through his teeth, “this won't become a problem.”

“it better not, now go,” seungcheol orders, trying to make it sound harsh. it doesn’t, though, not to wonwoo. it sounds more like ‘don’t fuck this up for yourself’.

—

wonwoo reads your letter for the fifty-second time. this time, he’s closely checking your instructions on how you wanted him to dress. it’s a little bit weird, but he supposes you’re going somewhere fancy, and maybe he has to match.

he sighs dramatically, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.

why is he dressing up in a suit he never wears to come meet you, a literal mob boss that thought he was cute, at some restaurant he doesn’t even know exists, to have dinner with you and play along to make you happy but not enough for either of you to get too attached?

what does he even think he’s doing?

he has literally killed people before, but that was so much simpler than this. slicing someone’s throat is so much less complicated than picking out a tie to wear to your date. everything down to asking him to wear a little bit of gold jewelry— gold, not silver— was complicated. he doesn’t understand this at all.

he’s somewhat horrified that this will go wrong, but if he thinks about it as only ‘a pretty girl asked him on a date’ and forgets all the context, he can breathe slower.

He leaves the compound with mingyu to act as a body guard, and then to sit at the bar area during your date to be there in case something happened. mingyu had told him he had no plans of interrupting anything in case the date goes a little too well, but he did want to be there in case something worse happened and wonwoo wasn’t able to fight on his own.

mingyu enters before him, actually. wonwoo waits by the entrance, just as your letter requests, and he almost wonders for a second if this was all just an elaborate ploy of yours, something just to waste time as you’re comfortably doing whatever mob boss stuff you normally do.

that is until you’re in front of him, in the most stunning sapphire dress he’s ever seen in his life, and he sees why you requested a navy suit on him. you both match perfectly, and he can help but blush like a freaking anime girl when you walk in together. you’re so breathtaking, the kind that could kill.

you had made reservations apparently, and all he could do is watch and follow along cluelessly as you’re taken to the table, and you both sit down.

you take in a breath, and then really look into his eyes. you don’t say anything for a moment, so he tries to start.

“hey,” he says, a little bit breathless, “you look gorgeous, by the way.”

“oh, you don’t have to flatter me, dear. that’s not required of you,” you laugh, and god, it is so beautiful. he could faint right now.

he forgot, honestly, that he didn’t have to impress you. he berated himself for a second when he realizes that he complimented you of his own volition, because he wanted to. that was bad.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to act so nervous. i don’t have any intentions to hurt you,” you say, reaching out for his hand. his hand tremors really had to come at the worst times. your hand is so warm (and he’s such a cold person, he could get used to warm hands holding his cold ones), “is this where you start wondering why i asked you to come on date with me?”

“i’ve been wondering since i read the letter,” he responds. he’s fidgeting, nervous. you have such an intense stare that’s hard to match.

“i’m sure you have,” you say, “if i’m being honest, it didn’t feel like there was much i wanted to ask for. everything is alright— knock on wood— for the moment with me. and i,” you pause, and it catches his attention even more, “i wanted something like this. something normal.”

“i take it… mafia life isn’t really for you, huh?” he half-asks.

“i suppose it’s not too bad of a fit, actually. i think the heists and gambling and money-laundering isn’t too bad. that kind of stuff has been my whole life, so it’s kinda fun to me,” you say, “but it prevents you from living simply. there is no family, there’s no relationships, no house on the hill. i feel like i’m missing out on that aspect of life.”

“yeah, you’re right. i suppose it is sad,” he says. he’s not sure what else to say.

you just continue, “and i just… i wanted to experience something different tonight. maybe i shouldn’t have involved you in my attempt to feel that, or at least didn’t force you to be here.”

“i’m not forced to be here,” he says, even if it’s honestly not very true, “i think i want to be here, too. i’ll experience it with you.”

you smile, and this time it’s softer than he’s ever seen. he can’t seem to remember why your presence was so intimidating before, because in this moment, you are nothing but warm and inviting, “okay, then. it’s settled. let’s have a beautiful night.”

it was cheesy, sure, but it made his heart flutter all the same.

he sees mingyu out of the corner of his eye. he’s sitting at the bar, making small talk with the bartender. wonwoo and mingyu make eye contact, and it’s almost like a series of questions: ‘how is it going? are you alright? do you need me to step in?’

and wonwoo gives a small smile back at him, as if to say ‘i think i’m okay’.

he looks back at you, as you give your order to the server. he doesn’t see someone evil or done anything that is commonplace for his and your kind of life. he just sees you: someone aching for something different. something soft and sweet and normal.

dinner with him flies by, filled with pretty conversations about each other’s lives. you both skirt around conversations about your groups, instead choosing to focus on yourselves. he learn about your hobbies and passions, you learn about his friends and what he likes to do in his free time.

you tell him about the time you were robbing a bank when you were younger. maybe 17. you tell him about the restaurant that’s a front for high-up associates that you used to go to when you were younger. you tell him about how your dad’s assasination put you in the boss spot when you were 19 and stupid and too young for that kind of power. it went to your head and has barely worn off since.

he tells you about how mingyu and him have saved each other’s asses maybe 500 times each. he tells you about how he likes computer games, that if he was given a second shot at life, he’d be a pro-gamer for sure. he tells you about his cat, ranting about how cute it is (and he looks adorable doing it).

wonwoo realizes what’s happening while it’s happening; he’s not dumb or oblivious. he realizes that with every smile, every laugh, every time you get passionate about what you’re talking about and make these dramatic hand movements, and every time you unconsciously make that cute thinking face, he’s falling for you more and more.

and yet he doesn’t have it in himself to pull back; instead, he chooses to lean in. he smiles when you smile, laughs when you laughs, plays along when you tell him overly dramatic stories. he’s so mesmerized that he doesn’t notice the passage of time, how late it’s getting.

what he does notice is you reaching to grab the bill that was dropped off by the server. he snatches it before you can, and quickly puts the money in, catching the server’s attention and asking them to take it now.

you make a upset face at him, but it doesn’t hurt him in the slightest, “my treat.” he says simply.

“i was supposed to pay! you didn’t have to do that!” you argue, and he looks at you with a kind of vulnerability that is so raw, it’s almost infuriating.

“i wanted to. for you.”

you stand, so he stands too. you turn to walk away, but he grasps your wrist at the last second. he thinks you’re about to storm off, mad or something. why were you mad at him? he was trying to do something nice for you!

it’s until you groan and turn back around, getting so so close to him that the rest of the word fades out of view. for a moment it’s just like that. there’s no one else in the world except for you and him.

you’re looking into his eyes, reaching your hand up to lightly cup his cheek, letting your finger drag against his jaw, “can i?” you ask. you don’t even need to say it.

“yeah,” he breathes, shakily, “do whatever you want.”

you kiss him while his stomach does somersaults. his hands find your waist, letting you lead, and, funnily enough, only once he starts to relax, you’re pulling away.

“we should get out of here,” you say, and his heart rate picks up, which you seem to notice (his own heart betrayed him), “we don’t have to do anything, but it’s so loud and energetic in here. i want some peace and quiet.”

he couldn’t agree more. you both walk outside, and he shoots mingyu one last ‘i’m okay’ look, seeing the smirk on his friend’s face may annoy him, but he’s too happy to care.

once you reach your car, you pull him close. his hands rest on the same spot as before, gently on your waist. you ask him, “can i kiss you again?”

“yes,” he whispers back. something about asking the second time feels sweeter, “kiss me a little harder this time, please.”

you smile at his request, gently pressing your lips to his before you grasp the back of his neck to use as leverage when your kiss becomes more intense, giving him what he wants. he’ll always get what he wants now, you suppose. anything he asks for, you’ll give him.

you don’t pull away as fast this time, instead letting him savor the moment.

but you eventually do, pulling back to look at him. he’s so pretty in the moonlight.

“i don’t want this to end,” he says. you smile almost sadly at him.

“i’m sorry, baby, i wish it didn’t have to end so soon, but our agreement was only dinner,” you say, “and you need to go back. our night together has been fun, but this is it. we were only given tonight.”

“i don’t want to go back yet, i don’t want to leave you,” he whispers painfully. god, it was so easy to get comfortable in his arms.

you see that sadness in his eyes, the kind that kills any chance of ever getting over him, “i know, i know, i’m sorry. i didn’t think we would get so close so fast,” you can feel the shaking of his hands even as they rest steady on your hips, “when i asked for a date, i thought it would be a night that would end with no hard feelings about never seeing each other again.”

“well, look where that got us,” he makes himself chuckle, though it’s not out of actual humor.

there’s a pause where neither of you dare to make the next move. there’s a sinking feeling that one of these next kisses will be the last.

“i’ll tell you what: i’ll kiss you until my lips turn blue, so you can never forget what it feels like. not even if you tried,” you say, moving your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself.

“okay,” he responds, “don’t let me forget. don’t ever let me.”

“you know i won’t,” you say, and your kisses are so passionate that for a second, he forgets that he’s jeon wonwoo, seventeen’s best hacker and technology expert, and only knows that he’s yours.

and for you, he’s so sweet, so kind and giving and reciprocative, kissing you back with just as much energy, it’s just as easy to get lost in him.

you stay there for as long as the night will allow, kissing him with feverish intensity, before you really have to send him on his way.

his eyes have that tragic look to them, like he’s sad in such a complicated way. it was never supposed to end like this, with him walking away from you as you get into your car, but the more he thinks about it, he’s wrong.

it was supposed to end like this. with him and you separated.

when he returns, he knows he probably shouldn’t, that he should lie and say it went well (but not too well) and this will not cause future problems, but he tells seungcheol afterwards that he 100% fucked this up for himself. he’s really, really into you.

his boss isn’t surprised.

—

it’s been two months— not exactly, maybe a month and three weeks or so, but close enough— since that night. not a word from seventeen, nor from wonwoo. it’s hard to not wonder what happened between him and his boss as soon as he returned, if he saw those feelings written out all over his associate’s face, or if it was the lipstick stain on his lips that gave it away.

in your world, nothing had changed (except for maybe everything about your soul). nothing about your mob boss life had been altered. seventeen never spoke a word about the favor, not to you or anyone else. even though word travels fast and very easily, it never got back to you that anyone besides you and seventeen knew about it.

maybe it’s a good thing that you haven’t seen or heard from him, that you probably never will again, but him having that much control over you is dangerous because you’re sure that seungcheol knows. he knows wonwoo likes you, he knows you like wonwoo, and everything in between. he has so much power that it’s incomprehensible what he could manipulate you into doing. he probably knows that. he revels in it.

so you made the point to not reach out, knowing there’d be a trade off next time. you assume that’s why it’s radio silence on his end too.

it only hurts a little bit.

—

the news hits you as you’re sitting in your office, drinking your coffee as an associate is detailing all possible back up plans for the casino heist planned for next week.

“hold on one minute,” you say to them, and they immediately shut up, letting you take a call that had come in as they were talking, “yes, kihyun? why are you calling? i thought i told you not to call my personal phone.”

he seems anxious on the other end, which is not pleasant to hear, “i tried, boss, but you weren’t answering. and i know i wasn’t supposed to, but i assumed you would want to hear the news as soon as possible.”

“what news?”

“jeon wonwoo of seventeen went missing three days ago. not even his own associates know where he is or if he’s even alive,” he says, and his words, especially the last few, hit particularly hard.

he’s not dead, right? he can’t be dead.

“i… see. thank you, kihyun,” you say.

“i’m here if you need anything, boss,” he says, but you don’t respond, only hanging up the phone and closing your eyes.

you remember there’s still someone else in the room, so you shoo them out, “we’ll go over these plans tomorrow,” you say, as if to tell them to go away. they catch on.

and you’re suddenly all alone in your office, with nothing but the thought of wonwoo being dead to occupy your thoughts. seventeen had enemies, of course they did, but why wonwoo of all of them? why was he the target? it was just impossible to rationalize why someone would choose him to be the one to take out. what would even be the motive?

it doesn’t seem real, the idea that he could be dead, even though it’s technically possible.

the idea dawns on you that maybe it was someone in his own group, maybe even the whole fucking mafia collectively decided to take him out.

and maybe it was because of you. the idea makes your stomach sick.

it’s impossible to know for sure, and you can’t spend your day getting lost in maybe or possibly. you assume the worst, that he’s probably dead, and give yourself a moment to grieve.

and then it’s back to work.

—

it’s late, so late it’s almost early again, at your residence. the sound of rain is constant and almost soothing as you drink your tea, giving a sense of peace and calm to your night. looking over documents from the casino, everything seems to be in order. last minute preparations for tomorrow are going smoothly, and all that needs to happen now is sleep before the big day.

there’s a ring at your doorbell. so, there goes a peaceful couple hours of sleep.

no one should know that this place exists or that you live here. this place was secret for your own safety and the fact that someone is here, ringing your doorbell at three in the morning is a terrible sign.

you grab the gun you keep under your coffee table as you approach the door. there’s no way to check who it was without letting them know you were there, you just had to open it.

“i’m so sorry i’m here right now!” you hear, barely able to make out the baritone voice over the heavy rain, “i’m sorry i didn’t say anything after that night, i was ordered to not contact you on my own! i’m sorry i’m here, bothering you at your house, but it was the only place i could go!”

when you open the door, the rain covers his frames, concealing his eyes, but it’s him.

not a single thought of ‘how the fuck did you get my address?’ or ‘why did you disappear?’ is more important than him at that moment. you open the screen door and yank him inside, tossing the gun somewhere onto the floor of your kitchen. you rush to grab him a towel, because he’s shivering and freezing and that’s scaring both of you.

you’re borderline yelling at him as you scold him for showing up, especially at this hour, “what were you even thinking? you could have gotten hypothermia! you could exposed this place to people who want me dead! you could have gotten us both killed!”

and yet all he could do is look at you with those beautiful, lovestruck eyes, “i’m so sorry,” he says with a smile.

you hug him, wet clothes and teary eyes and all, crouching down on the floor to meet where he is, curled up in a ball, covering himself up with that towel. he looks so small like this.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers again.

“don’t be, i’m glad you’re alive,” you whisper back, tightening your grip on him as if he’d whither away and disappear if you didn’t.

“i missed you, every single day i thought about you,” he mumbles into your shoulder.

“i did too,” you say, “what happened? why did you disappear? when did this become the only place you could go?”

“i-um,” he starts, hesitant and quietly, “i got into a fight with seungcheol. i told him i didn’t want to live like this anymore, and he said he’d… cut off my head if i ever left.”

“but you still left?”

“i had to, i was so unhappy that it was killing me,” he says with more confidence, still holding onto you like you’re his lifeline, “and, god, i’m so into you that it hurt so bad to never talk to you again. how the hell was i supposed to move on?”

“so what happened after you left? where did you go?”

“mingyu told me i could crash on the couch at his place out of town while i tried to find you, but seungcheol beat that information out of him,” he pulls away just a bit to look at you while he speaks, still holding on for what feels like dear life, “i found this place about a week ago, but it wasn’t until i was literally running for my life that i felt there was nowhere else i could go.”

his stomach rumbles, so you ignore his words for the present and ask, “oh my god, when’s the last time you ate? no, don’t even answer me, i’m making you ramen.”

“it’s okay, you don’t have to-”

“don’t say another word, unless it’s to tell me you’re dying. you’re going to go take a nice, warm shower, and then eat some ramen before we even think about what to do about you going forward,” you cut him off, but your scolding tone is so filled with love and care that he doesn’t mind.

he showers, finally feeling the relief of warm water. he always hated being cold in any capacity, much less freezing to death.

he changes into the clothes you give him: an oversized crewneck and some sweatpants. when he walks back into the kitchen, where you are, he pulls the sleeves as far as they’ll go, giving himself cute little sweater paws.

he’s so adorable, so easy to fall for.

you place a bowl of ramen in front of a seat at the kitchen counter, “eat up, baby.”

baby. he could get used to being called something like that. easy. he sits at the counter, eating like a madman once he realizes how hungry he truly is.

you watch him tenderly, all the adrenaline having faded out and now he’s just here. what are you even gonna do with him? you can’t just kick him out, he’ll get found immediately. so long as no one else finds out about this place, you’re both safe.

he can’t return to seventeen, though. maybe that thought has sunken in for him too, because when he looks up at you and smiles when he sees you looking at him, he’s not smiling like how he did last time you saw him. his smile is smaller and more forced.

all his friends he left behind, all his past he left behind, and that comfortable life he left behind, all to be here, with you.

“what now?” you ask, and the depth of the question is not absent in his mind. he knows what you mean.

he frowns, playing with his chopsticks, “i… i don’t know. i can’t go back, but i’m unsure how to move forward.”

“do you want to give up this life completely? just start fresh?”

“i don’t think so. it’s all i know, all i feel competent at, and if i’m being honest, i don’t mind it. i just need something more,” he says with a chuckle, “i don’t think i could live a life of white picket fences and nuclear families.”

“then,” you say, sitting at the spot next to him at the counter, “consider joining me. i can’t give you a top position, but you can continue your work as a hacker under my group. as much as i want to give you choice, i'm gonna be honest with you: that’s your only good option.”

“i know,” he says.

it hurts a little bit, and he knows what you’re gonna say before you say it, “and i'm sorry i have to say it out loud, but… this will provide you protection against seventeen.”

which is the most miserable thing to think about: his own friends coming to kill him. he’s a traitor now, though. he knows he’s dead to seungcheol. it hurts him somewhere deep in his chest every time he thinks about it.

“okay,” he says, somewhat dully, “i guess i don’t have much of a choice.”

“it’s not that you don’t have a choice in the matter, but you only have one good one,” you say, matter-of-factly, “you won’t be safe anywhere else-”

“i’m sorry,” he says suddenly, and it’s heartbreaking how he just can’t stop saying it, “i’m just so sorry. i put you and mingyu in danger just so i could have a chance to escape. he even let me stay on his couch and then got hurt because of my selfishness.”

“it’s not fair to you to judge yourself so harshly like that. mingyu did that because he wanted to, for you. you couldn’t stop whatever hell came after,” you say, comfortingly, “it’s better to be selfish than unhappy. if mingyu knew you were safe with me, he’d see his efforts as worthwhile.”

“and what about you?” he asks.

“what about me?”

“i put you in danger,” he says.

“wonwoo, i’m a mob boss. and a woman one at that. i’m always in danger,” you say, “it’s nothing new.”

“but-”

“stop talking,” you order, and he complies. you sigh, “it’s not worth it to think about all the things you did wrong. where you are now is where you are; there’s no changing that.”

“i’m sorry,” he laughs breathlessly, “can you just kiss me if you need to shut me up?”

you look into his eyes once again, seeing nothing but beauty and honesty in them. your hand reaches to tilt his chin up as you lean in for a kiss, and all the passion of that night comes back in full force, except with so much more vulnerability and tenderness.

but he pulls away this time.

why is he about to cry?

he answers the question for you, “i’m sorry, i uhm- i’m sorry,” he whispers, his apologies stabbing you incessantly, “nothings wrong. i’m just… so happy. i’m so happy we ended up like this. nothing compares to you.”

i’m so happy we got the happy ending (somewhat).

tomorrow (well, more like later today. in a few hours) he’ll be jeon wonwoo, the best hacker in the area, known for being able to hack into power grids and major international banks. maybe he’ll be there with you, keeping track of the operation, taking down security cameras or disrupting communications.

but for tonight, he’s simply wonwoo. he holds you like he doesn’t want anything else from this life.

nothing compares to this.

[refriedweeb]

CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISE JUST LIKE THE FIRST TIME (SHINSOU + READER DAYS AT UA)

A/N: don’t mind me, just self-inserting myself into UA’s days as a student bc I love Shinsou and Hawks and I love the quirk I’ve given to myself in the UA universe and honestly I’m just a simp. (I might make this a part of a series just like I am for the Hawks one bc I have problems)

Prompt: Y/N is a transfer student to 1-A’s Hero Course from an American school and known for the power behind her quirk. Shinsou is yet again the subject of some annoying trolls at school. What happens when the two cross paths?

Word Count: 1,683

He was beyond used to the subjected brutality of teenagers since he had transferred into UA’s General Studies course. All of his life, Shinsou had been told that he couldn’t be a hero because of his quirk. That he was a danger and had the makings of being a villain rather than a hero. The one thing he was so determined to be, according to his peers, was one thing he could never be. It was easy for the lot of them to say when they had much more heroic quirks that could make their climb to heroism much easier than his. But after his fight with Izuku Midoriya at the sport’s event, Shinsou was more determined than ever to make sure he became a hero.

The general negative attitude towards he and his quirk had lessened since then, but hadn’t ceased to exist. There were still a couple of other students who always thought it was an opportune time to ask him how the League of Villains were, if he’d picked his villain name, and so on. None of this was new to him, and Shinsou had basically come to blur it out of his mind. At one point it had bothered him, had really almost made the indigo haired boy lean into the idea of being a villain. After all, if they wanted him to be one so bad, then who was he to deny them that privilege? It’d been his fight with Izuku that had shifted some of Shinsou’s thinking, reigniting a passion to get into the hero course because it was one he deserved to be in. Because he deserved to be a hero. Wanted desperately to be a hero. 

Shinsou craned his neck from side to side and rolled sunken eyes. “Yeah man, maybe you’re the one who is telling the League where class 1-A is going to be all the time.” One of the boys who had made it his mission to make Shinsou’s life miserable for the day spoke. He was from the business course, the black haired kid egging him on from the support course. “You’re just as responsible for All Might’s retirement as Bakugou is!” Came the snickering. 

His upper lip curled, his attention redirected. “How long did it take you to come up with that one? A couple hours?” How easy it would be to just use his quirk right then and there. Brainwash the assholes who tried to make him the butt of their miserable attempts at insults and jokes. But that was what they wanted. It was what they expected of him because they already had it made up in their minds what type of person he was. Shinsou had been about to continue, but it was the black haired student who shoved his friend.

“Dude, look, there she is!”

“Shit,” the other student exclaimed, taking a step back from Shinsou. 

Curious, his eyes followed to where the students were looking. And there you were. Your legs looked like they ran on for miles in the UA uniform, though you weren't any taller or shorter than most of the other girls in the school. It was obvious to anyone that you were new at the school, your uniform still too nicely pressed and wrinkle-free to have been well worn like the rest of theirs were. Shinsou had never seen you before, it was a face and definitely a body he would have remembered. Were you an older student? Had the reason he’d never seen you before been the simplest fact that he hadn’t ever paid attention or felt the need to? Shinsou wracked his brain for where he had seen you before, if at all. But no. He didn’t know you. Yet, the mysterious pull of your aura was something that had drawn in him almost immediately. It wasn’t that your aura was dark, or spoke of evil. It spoke of mystery and misunderstanding, a set of cased emotions he understood very well. Indigo eyes remained fixated on you as you came closer, and he tried to get his heart under control when you looked his way.

Locked eyes with him. Most of the time people who did that with him looked away immediately after. But not you. You...kept your eyes on him until you were standing in front of the trio of boys. Only then you looked around, from the person you assumed was Shinsou Hitoshi, to the other boys you didn’t know. Didn’t care to get to know because their reputations hadn’t proceeded them for any various reasons. “Hi,” you said, head tipped to the side. You introduced yourself, shared your name with them though you were really only speaking to Shinsou. “Am I...interrupting something? I’m supposed to be in the 1-A Hero course but I can’t seem to find the classroom.”

“You? In the hero course? We know...” the black haired kid started out, and your eyebrows pulled together as he fumbled his words. “We know what your quirk is! No wonder you’re looking for him!”

Quirk? Shinsou stood up a little straight, his interest caught (and not because he wanted to feel like he was much taller than you and could defend you if you needed, though he wasn’t sure that was the case here) as you rolled your eyes. Not everyone got their quirk villainized right off the bat. That was a trophy that only Shinsou had held for some time. 

“Then, if you know how bad my quirk is,” you continued, arms crossed, hip jutted out, seething attitude. “Wouldn’t it be smart to not catch lip with me?”

Shinsou thought he was in love. 

The other two boys grimaced, looked you up and down with disdain. “Not our business to help the freaks. Ask the only other freak here in the school to help you get around.” They looked at Shinsou, their grimaces only growing. You narrowed your eyes at them. Shinsou stared at you. 

With one last hateful look, the two boys split and left you and Shinsou alone. He didn’t know how words worked anymore. There wasn’t a thought in Shinsou’s head that made coherent sense and suddenly he felt very out of his league. You, however, played it as cool as a cucumber. Confident and seemingly dangerous? The sea of mystery surrounded you still as you turned back to look at him. From the get go you thought he had the prettiest lilac eyes you had ever seen. But that wasn’t the reason Aizawa Sensei had told you to keep an eye out for Shinsou Hitoshi, no. Easy on the eyes was your own assessment. Aizawa Sensei had told you about Shinsou for the reason that you shared a similar quirk. That people looked down on you for something you hadn’t even been able to pick. And while you could give off that air of confidence and nonchalance, it was terrifying to be in a new school, in a new country, where your reputation did proceed you and people had already started rumors about what type of person they thought you were. From what Aizawa had told you...Shinsou was someone that you could lean into for support like that.

Rough around the edges, not someone who was the easiest to talk to...in Aizawa’s own words...but someone who would understand what you’d been through. And while you wanted to play it cool, you were terrified of being in a place so foreign where you were out of your depth with people who had known each other for so long already.

You turned your gaze to Shinsou, who stared at you still. “Freaks, huh?” You swallowed back any sound of uncertainty or doubt.

“Freaks.” Shinsou said, crooked smile softening his hard glare. “Let me guess, Aizawa sent you to come find me to give you a grand old tour.” His voice was dry, grating. 

“Something like that. More along the lines of make sure Hitoshi doesn’t get bullied by people and just take it.” You lifted a brow, hoping he’d take the joke you’d just made as that: a joke. 

His eyes narrowed, and you were sure you’d misstepped in assuming he’d think it was funny. You braced yourself from snarky comment, but he only looked you up and down, his tongue tucked into the corner of his mouth like he was deep in thought. And to be honest, he was. Here you’d come with a trumpet horn of an announcement by the two punks who’d scampered off. Apparently, Aizawa thought he had something to gain by knowing you and vice versa. You weren’t afraid of him, or of speaking to him at that matter, and it was a sense of relief Shinsou didn’t know he’d gone his entire school career without. It only made him more curious about what quirk you were hiding, but he figured that wasn’t exactly introductory protocol. He let out a low breath through his nostrils, tipping a head of thick indigo hair towards the classrooms. 

What Shinsou wouldn’t admit was that you’d had him enraptured so easily. Maybe your quirk was just like his, only better. He felt brainwashed, enthralled by the mystery that was you and all he didn’t know about you. When Aizawa would ask him about it later, he’d deny any interest in you outside of fleeting curiosity. It’d be an answer that would earn him a sidelong glance from his mentor, but it’d be one that he’d insist was true. So he looked you up and down once more, did his best to hide his blush. “Well then, freak, come on.” The books he had in his hands rested against his hip, and you had to admit he looked rather...handsome. If handsome was something a teenager could think about another teenager without being too vulgar. “Class 1-A is going to have a field day with you. Get ready, all they want to do is make friends.”

The way you crinkled your nose, and the way he couldn’t help but do the same told him all he needed to know about the relationship that was bound to bloom between you. 

[eliza-makepeace]

okay, let’s have a little chat about Selena. 

Everyone who knew her, like really knew her is dead. All that circulates about her are rumours, that could possibly be wrong, and lies, most of them sort of implying that she had no sense of self bc she was morzan’s “killer hawk”.(that sounds a little sexist, btw... like she was a heartless badass who morzan had trained to do his bidding...) I take with a grain of salt practically everything Jeod told Eragon about her, because he was completely biased, and he just repeated what he had heard, and we don’t know where he’d heard those things. 

Brom is not particularly objective, but he *did* know her well, well enough to fall in love and have a child with her, so imma take his word, though he doesn’t tell a lot about her, and Oromis pretty much told Eragon stuff Brom had told him beforehand, so that’s, again, a pretty reliable source all things considered. 

Murtagh knows things about her as well, but not many, and even the things he knows might not be true. We don’t know who told him those things, and if it was Galbatorix, clearly it’s unreliable. He might have said whatever to destabilize Murtagh, so yeah. He might have heard the servants’ gossips, but we know how a story quickly blows out of proportion when a little imagination joins the equation.

My point is, Selena’s kids don’t know anything about her. They know the most basic aspects of her, but they don’t know who she really was. They know her reputation, but they don’t know their mother, and I think both Eragon and Murtagh need to understand her to be at ease with themselves, and to become better people too. And it’s heartbreaking for me, because they’re both desperate to connect with her, one way or another. Like, Murtagh drunk and crying about how he missed a mother he barely knew and thinking she abandoned him for Eragon, and Eragon for the longest of times also struggling with abandonment issues.

[janiedean]

Now I want to hear the Stannis rant (when you have time)!!

hahahah have fun XD okay so for context, the tags I mentioned the aforementioned rant in:

#one day i’ll rant at lenght about how dnd never got stannis#bc they cannot conceive that a dude with THAT kinda moral compass is a complete disaster when it comes to interpersonal relationships#nor that half of the issues stannis has are bc he’s literally starving for people to see he has worth#while slaving for them anyway and being more competent than anyone else that passes before him#but this is not the day i guess

now: this is... a thing that I honestly struggle with when it comes to this fandom because the side that hates stannis thinks he’s a selfish arrogant asshole without feelings and the side that loves him is like ‘omg such a great battle commander GO RIGHTFUL KING HE’S SO BADASS’ and I feel like neither is an accurate reading because the first sees the character at mere face value (and most likely skipped the davos chapters) and the second only cares about his so-called badassness, but... thing is: stannis is an extremely competent person who’s also a disaster at relationships because he feels like no one cares for him (which isn’t exactly untrue as I’ll rant about later) who in turn everyone judges as uncaring and unfeeling when he actually isn’t and who in turn compulsively pursues what he can pursue because he has to compensate and who on the other side is absolutely starved for recognition except that he doesn’t get it.

and like... at this point I have to lay down the premises in the sense that while I really wish I didn’t, I... kind of really do relate a lot to that aspect - people assuming you’re cold/aloof because you aren’t immediately excited about things or don’t wear feelings on your sleeve - and tbh I really really love that grrm made a character who has the Good At Battles And So On reputation... a complete interpersonal rships disaster, because it actually gives him a whole new layer that I don’t see really discussed often and since that’s what I relate to... it’s sad. for me personally at least.

anyway, thing is:

the fact that stannis was the unloved baratheon brother is the exact first thing you learn from the acok prologue - I mean, ‘Stannis, my lord, my sad sullen boy, son I never had, you must not do this, don't you know how I have cared for you, lived for you, loved you despite all? Yes, loved you, better than Robert even, or Renly, for you were the one unloved, the one who needed me most.’ like, it’s the first thing the narrative throws at you in the face the moment that he does something that already puts him on the reader’s bad side ie dismissing poor cressen, but it’s basically the key to the entire damned point;

because first of all it implies stannis (who’s the middle child out of those three) felt like both his brothers didn’t love him and with their parents dying the way they did that goes too, and if we take into account the proudwing episode - he saves the damned hawk, he’s all happy he got it back to fly, robert mocks him for it and his uncle convinces him to let it die - it’s basically the metaphor for his life because whatever he does, the people who should notice don’t care;

this actually should be discussed along with the whole siege of storm’s end because like... stannis held out by almost starving himself and his men (but renly never mentions it whenever he speaks so I should suppose he doesn’t remember it as an extremely traumatic event when he was in the castle, so stannis made sure he actually had enough food to not starve most likely when no one else did) for robert and if he hadn’t done that when he was barely twenty if not nineteen they’d have lost the rebellion, which you’d think would give him nice things, right? no, because robert gives him dragonstone which stannis sees as a slight, he feels like robert loves ned more than him and he’s p. resentful about it, renly basically bypasses him when it’s time to claim the throne with the amazing explanation that ‘he’s not amusing and people wouldn’t like him’ when that’s not how succession works and he doesn’t seem to get one inch of appreciation by his relatives that he almost died for;

now he has that compulsive thing when it comes to laws and sticking to justice.... considering that he feels like all of his entire family wronged him since he was a teenager (and like, i’m obv. not blaming robert for not having been the best bc he also had trauma bc their parents died I mean we have issues but I get it) and like both his brothers feel like others (ned, loras/the tyrells) are more their family than him and/or that they don’t care for him because he’s sour/not immediately expansive/etc... are we surprised that he has that much of a problem with the concept of compulsively following justice/the rules? considering that when it comes to that it’s written black on white and fairness is objective, obviously he’s a sucker for the rules and he feels that strongly about his birthright - that’s because he feels like he can only trust in objective ruling that everyone should follow rather than people;

this is where I go personal, but... a thing that’s extremely common if you tend to be shy/not immediately an extrovert/if it takes you time to get to know people/if you aren’t a funny person automatically is that people start to assume you don’t have feelings or you don’t care about others, which in turn means that you tend to become even worse because the moment you open up you’re terrified that the other person will hate you, and that’s... peak stannis because the way he’s when the books start is out of all of that plus having married someone out of obligation for robert and getting humiliated on the same wedding night plus having just one daughter everyone sees as defective and that renly openly mocked at some point too but never mind that, and like... another thing with stannis that people don’t really notice is that while he’s crap at expressing his love for his daughter because he’s shit at feelings and relationships, he also loves her really fucking much and as someone else pointed out he didn’t educate her to marry into some other family, he educated her to be his heir and with davos’s male sons and so on, like he didn’t give her just a lady’s education, he gave her a full-on heir education, which outside dorne is unheard of, and in his last adwd chapter as much as dnd didn’t read it... he told people to put her on the throne if he died and to fight for her same as they would have for him. like, it’s obvious that he does love her, he’s just complete crap at showing it... same as he is in general because he doesn’t feel like he can be open about his feelings with people and because he pretty much has no fucking clue of how it works, which is... well... what happens when you grow up with that kind of emotional stuntedness;

that is, unless he’s talking to davos, which is what I’d really fucking like for people to realize. like, never mind the show, but when book!stannis talks to davos he immediately goes from 100% completely closed off to being all soft and as affectionate as it goes and I mean guys... just a couple quotes but:“He seemed ten years older than the man that Davos had left at Storm's End when he set sail for the Blackwater and the battle that would be their undoing. The king's close-cropped beard was spiderwebbed with grey hairs, and he had dropped two stone or more of weight. He had never been a fleshy man, but now the bones moved beneath his skin like spears, fighting to cut free. Even his crown seemed too large for his head. His eyes were blue pits lost in deep hollows, and the shape of a skull could be seen beneath his face. Yet when he saw Davos, a faint smile brushed his lips. "So the sea has returned me my knight of the fish and onions.""It did, Your Grace." Does he know that he had me in his dungeon? Davos went to one knee.”-"I am lowborn," Davos reminded him. "An upjumped smuggler. Your lords will never obey me.""Then we will make new lords.""But . . . I cannot read . . . nor write . . .""Maester Pylos can read for you. As to writing, my last Hand wrote the head off his shoulders. All I ask of you are the things you've always given me. Honesty. Loyalty. Service.""Surely there is someone better . . . some great lord . . ."Stannis snorted. [...] but I trust none of them as I trust you, my lord of Rainwood. You will be my Hand. It is you I want beside me for the battle."that’s TWO, and when davos says that his lords wouldn’t want him for a hand stannis goes like you’re more important than them to me pretty much, and in general the moment they’re alone together he’s way more open and vulnerable and sincere than he is when literally anyone else... that is because davos is the literal one person that not only is his actual friend (bc he doesn’t really have any other friends not even between his relatives), but also someone who:a) actually thinks the world of him;b) hasn’t batted an eyelid at his sense of justice I mean guys let’s be real he cut off davos’s fingertips bc he was a criminal at the same time as giving him a lordship after davos saved his life and everyone else’s and davos has the bones with him always because he thinks they’re his luck I mean k that’s extra but he actually does see stannis’s point when it comes to fairness;c) hasn’t disappointed him once;d) has only ever acted in his best interest;e) is the kind of person who’ll call him out on his bs rather than kiss his ass for honors and to someone who has stannis’s issues knowing that that kinda person exists means a whole damned lot;f) doesn’t think he’s there just to run the show without getting thankfed for it nor takes him for granted nor doesn’t recognize his efforts, which is 99,9% of his remaining issues with everyone else - ie that he does his job and does it well but no one recognizes it and everyone else passes in front of himg) sees his worth, which is a thing stannis is literally starved for but doesn’t get from many others period;which means he has one healthy relationship with someone bar maybe his daughter. one. that’s... not really that great or good whatsoever;

I mean there’s a reason why stannis wants that throne so bad. not that he cares about it, but that’s his right, so anyone else getting it would be the umpteenth time in his eyes that someone cheats him off something that’s rightfully is (storm’s end, his brothers’s love/affection/support etc); 

like, it’s not about how stannis is such a great badass fighter strategist, it’s that he wants the throne that badly because not getting it would be just the last straw in the list of slights he feels that he’s been at the end of for his entire life and one more humiliating than any of those others, because otherwise he wouldn’t give a damn;

and like... what I think dnd missed and a lot of people also do is that the ‘great commander who wins fights’ doesn’t mean he also can’t be a guy with extremely bad issues when it comes to interpersonal rships thanks to trauma and to the almost entirety of people around him writing him off as the not fun boring guy who only cares about laws when the only reason stannis cares that much about what’s fair and what’s not is that he feels like everyone else has been unfair to him.

and like....... recognizing that would require admitting that stannis is the farthest thing in these books from a badass conqueror guy who wins battles and wants to be king and will be an equally badass king - he’s an extremely competent guy who became competent at his job out of sheer stubborness and perfection complex who is everything but an emotionless machine (regardless of what people who should know better ie his brothers might think) and who has been disappointed so much in this sense that he can only have a healthy relationship with one single person who is not so coincidentally someone who saved his life, didn’t see anything wrong in his strike for justice, recognizes his worth and would die for him, which... is really not anyone else’s case in his immediate vicinities (not counting his soldiers and so on but that’s another problem entirely). that requires admitting that westeros crap toxic societal standards have hurt him too and that he has a second side that’s not really so cool (guys being emotionally stunted is not fun, I’ll 100% guarantee it to you, and people assuming you’re cold or emotionless because you can’t immediately open up to them is even worse) and that if you want to project greatness on him you should also embrace the fact that he’s a complete human disaster who is as starved for recognition/appreciation as jon is and there’s probably a reason why they were getting along so well in adwd.

and like, I think the fanbase who hails him as the new coming of jesus doesn’t recognize that because it interferes with the fearless conqueror dude fantasy - which is his superficial reading, not his actual reading, same as people deciding he’s emotionless just out of superficial reading, while dnd obviously didn’t know how to write him since S3 because they couldn’t decide what to do with him... but obviously, because dnd have no idea of how to write a male character who is both a strong military commander and an emotional disaster who wants recognition for his own worth and isn’t a power hungry asshole. nvm that dnd have no idea of how to write emotionally vulnerable male characters (see what they did with jaime tyrion theon and sandor and that’s not even counting jon or robb) but stannis was obv. too complicated for them to even consider actually trying for real.

/two cents

[frstbvrn]

( natasha liu bordizzo, 19, she/her ) class is in session for KRISYLIS ‘KIT’ WARD. the student file says they’re a WITCH belonging to house FLARION and currently a  NINTH year. we see here they are GUARDED and STUBBORN, but they’re also RESOURCEFUL and PROTECTIVE. we wish them good luck in the new school year, where they’ll learn SPIRIT MAGIC/NECROMANCY. 

kit.   yes,  always  kit.  if  you  call  her  krisylis,  she  will  quite  literally  punch  you  in  the  face.  (  also  i’m  gonna  have  to  use  her  brunette  gifs  sometimes  bc  i  only  have  85  in  this  look  but  let  it  be  known  the  red  look  above  is  her  aesthetic.  )

she  was  born  into  an  extremely  religious  family.  they  weren’t  bad  people,  but  they  didn’t  understand  the  things  that  happened  around  the  kids.  her  older  adoptive  brother,  brighton,  was  always  different.  he  could  do  things  that  the  family  had  no  explanation  for  and  it  also  didn’t  help  that  he  was  gay  with  a  capital  g,  something  the  wards  extremely  frowned  upon.  apparently  their  god  was  a  homophobic  piece  of  shit.  AWK.   her  family  brought  him  to  live  with  them  when  she  was  ten  and  he  was  fifteen.    they  were  holy  people,  pillars  of  the  community,  so  of  course  they’d  take  in  a  ‘  troubled ’  teen.    they  thought  they  could  fix  him.   then  with  kit,  little  bursts  of  accidental  magic  would  happen  around  her  when  she  was  upset  or  hurt.   they  thought  it  was  the  work  of  the  devil  so  they  called  in  a  priest  to  do  the  exorcism.    brighton  was  the  oldest,  took  the  brunt  of  their  attempts  to  purify  their  spirits,  and  he  died  during  a  baptismal  exorcism  gone  wrong.   this  broke  kit.   her  magic  spiralled,  her  anger  and  hate  dousing  the  family  home  in  flames.   she  wanted  them  to  suffer  and  they  did.    the  only  reason  she  got  out  alive,  why  she  didn’t  get  consumed  by  flames,  is  her  brother’s  return.   he  was  a  phoenix,  and  he  rose  from  the  ashes  in  a  burst  of  flame.   they  set  the  rest  of  the  house  ablaze  and  burned  it  to  the  ground.   kit  and  brighton  were  the  only  survivors.  while  he  managed  to  get  her  out  alive,  she  sustained  major  burns  to  her  back  and  has  scarring  from  their  healing.  he  lied  to  the  cops,  said  it  was  a  freak  accident,  and  has  kept  her  secret  to  this  day.  

kit’s  been  at  arcanas  for  as  long  as  she  can  remember.  it’s  the  closest  thing  she  has  to  a  home,  especially  with  her  brother  being  there.  she  started  on  time,  as  a  first  year,  and  he  did  the  late  enrolment.  she’s  not  sure  if  the  recruiters  found  them  using  their  magic  or  if  it  was  the  nationwide  news  story  that  covered  the  fire.   she’s  a  bit  of  a  nightmare;   has  no  respect  for  authority,  shirks  the  rules,  does  whatever  she  wants,  but  if  you’re  one  of  the  people  who  manages  to  break  past  her  defences  ?   she’ll  salt  the  earth  if  it  means  you’re  okay.   you’re  protected.  

 she’s  a  pathological  liar,  to  the  point  where  she  sometimes  forgets  the  truth.  she’d  probably  be  a  legit  psychopath  if  it  weren’t  for  her  brother.   he  keeps  her  sane.  she  has  scars  from  the  fire  on  her  back  but  don’t  mention  them.  ever.     she’s  also  lowkey  terrible.   maybe  high  key.   she’s  not  above  going  after  things,  or  people,  she  wants;  even  if  they’re  unavailable.   especially  if  they  are.   she  loves  the  thrill  of  the  chase  and  then  gets  bored  when  she  catches  them.  (  jade  knows  this  first  hand.  they’ve  been  on  the  merry  go  round  for  awhile  now.  except  maybe  it’s  been  about  more  than  the  thrill  of  the  chase  for  awhile  now.  just  maybe.  ) 

  she’s  also  habitually  late  or  doesn’t  show  at  all.  it  isn’t  uncommon  to  see  her  just  not  show  up  for  classes  for  three  days  because  she  ‘  wasn’t  vibing  it ’   —  seriously,  why. 

if  she  found  out  that  the  zanzara orb was stolen from the armory  she’d  probably  just  wait  until  the  school  goodygoodys  fixed  everything  and  not  worry  about  it.  she’s  no  hero  and  if  things  go  to  hell  and  everyone  dies,  eh,  at  least  they  won’t  have  to  write  their  exams.

 AESTHETICS: FIERY  RED  HAIR.  FLAMES  LICKING  YOUR  FEET.  DANCING  WITH  THE  DEVIL.  BLACK  LEATHER  JACKETS.  STUDDED  BOOTS.  PAIN  HIDDEN  BEHIND  CRUELTY.  HARD  LIQUOR  AND  DANCING  TO  VINYL  IN  YOUR  UNDERWEAR.  BAD  REPUTATION  BY  JOAN  JETT.

CONNECTIONS

after  getting  kicked  off  the  tennis  team,  kit  went  out  for  track.  since  she’s  been  on  the  team  for  so  long,  over  the  years  she’s  developed  almost  a  brotherly/sisterly  vibe  with  el  presidente  rome  hawks.  she  drags  him  and  gives  him  a  hard  time  but  would  also  throw  down  for  him  if  someone  came  for  his  throat.  it’s  complicated. 

if  there’s  a  party  that  needs  to  be  organized  in  house  flarion?  it’s  on  dominic  masters  and  kit  to  get  that  shit  done.  they  don’t  get  along  in  much  else,  but  parties?  yeah  that’s  where  they  excel  and  team  up  for  a  win.  it’s  all  about  having  fun  and  most  importantly?  not  getting  caught.  

what’s  worse  than  having  one  chaotic  person  in  your  house?  two.  kit  would  never  come  right  out  and  say  pigshitter  is  her  friend  (  she  does  call  her  pigshitter  after  all  )  but  the  two  somehow  manage  to  get  themselves  into  trouble  so  much  that  you  could  say  they’re  a  dynamic  duo.  of  destruction,  mind  you,  but  still dynamic.  if  house  flarion  has  smoke  rolling  out  of  its  windows,  its  probably  their  fault. 

tba  via  plotting.

[jejublr]

Seatmate!Seokmin

A/N: Anon requested an extra fluffy seatmate!Seokmin scenario so here it is! I tried writing this in paragraph form but soon realize that I’m much comfortable writing in bullet points. So I hope it’s okay, Anon ;_; I hope you all enjoy!

Seokmin is the class clown ok we all saw it coming

He’s so funny and l o u d and it’s borderline annoying but the fact that he’s so nice and friendly made him into everybody’s good book 

Everyone agrees that the day Seokmin was born was the day the sun shone a little bit brighter 

Talks back to the teacher but never gets into trouble because he’s actually funny and never offensive also because they think he’s hilarious

Random dance offs with Senior!Soonyoung during breaks in the school yard

Got into detention once for suddenly dancing on the cafeteria table as part of the dance off 

Had a good chase with the school discipline master and security because of it

Someone uploaded the video on YouTube and he’s kinda internet famous

He basically does the most stupidest things with Soonyoung just for laughs 

“HEY SOONYOUNG I BET YOU CAN’T TAKE A SELFIE WHILE DOING A HANDSTAND”

Watching them is like dumb and dumber but you don’t know who is which 

Does the most hilarious body gags that leaves people horrified wondering how the f*** can someone’s face contort like that 

A favorite among freshmen because he’s so friendly and kind and overall has such an attractive persona

Everybody wants to be his friend, wishing that some of that glimmer would rub off them

Remember when I said he’s in everybody’s good book? Ok well 

He’s in everybody’s good book but yours 

You see, you’re straight up straight A student, student body president, and all-star athlete and you got no time for jokes

You can’t help but think that Seokmin’s all jokes and no work 

All he does in class is crack up jokes and is practically an airhead whenever the teachers ask him questions

You can’t help but wonder how someone like him can ever graduate from high school 

Unfortunately, Seokmin’s in the same class as you 

And worse, he’s your seatmate omg whyyyy

Trust the divinities to seat you with someone you avoid any social interactions with

He always tells you the lamest jokes (at least in your opinion) whenever he got the chance

But you just end up getting frustrated because Seokmin?? I’m trying to do my work here?? Can’t you bother someone else??

Seokmin: ;_; but I’m just trying to make you smile..

You didn’t know but Seokmin has the biggest crush on you

You don’t realize it but Seokmin sees you as a literal goddess 

He admires how driven and focused you are

How you seem to take hold in every situation with a cool head and a calm approach

How you are so talented and seem to have your s*** together compared to him

Tbh he does all the stupid things just to catch your attention

Everyone literally notices how extra he becomes when you’re around as if he’s not extra enough

But all his jokes and attempts to impress you seems to just annoy you even more 

He can’t help it since he doesn’t know how else to express his feelings but through humor help this poof cinnamon roll omg

So he’s stuck in this constant loophole where he makes jokes that makes you even more annoyed as the day goes and he doesn’t know to to get out of it lol

One day, you were called to the teacher’s office bc they told you someone needs some tutoring on a subject

When you got there, guess who needed the tutoring?

Yep you guessed it, it’s him

When he saw you he goes :D

But goes D: when you turned to leave to find the teacher because you’re not having it

Surprise surprise the teacher won’t take no from you

So now you’re stuck tutoring him in the school library after school great

You try to teach him all the concepts but he’s not getting it

And you think he’s not being serious because although his book is open in front of him, he keeps on making jokes and trying to be funny

One day, he decided to tell you how he feels. Maybe that way you’ll take him more seriously.

“Y/N, I have something to tell you..” he started

You cocked an eyebrow because he seemed so serious as he looked at you 

Actually, it’s the very first time you’ve seen him so serious

“What do you want.”

Seokmin mustered up all the courage in him and took a really deep breath and starred at you right in the eyes and said

“I like you” 

…

“lmao nice one, Seokmin, you still got thirty more questions to go”

And for a moment he looked like he wanted to cry but he averted his gaze from you back to his book

You didn’t know but he wanted to bang his head on every wall in library and take your face in his hands and just say

HOLY S*** Y/N FOR SOMEONE SO SMART WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB

You’re completely unaware that he literally just confessed to you

He doesn’t blame you, though

He knows that maybe the fact that he jokes too much made you believe that everything that he says is a joke

He doesn’t give up though

He tries to imply his feelings towards you through his jokes

“Are you Google? Because you’re everything that I’m looking for.”

“Hey Y/N, do you know why I don’t like candy? Because you’re already sweet.”

lmao those are straight up pickup lines, Seokmin

also i apologize for the bad pickup lines aaaaaaa

They’re so bad that one day, you finally had enough.

“You know what, Seokmin? I’m so tired of this. If you don’t want to study and just joke around, I see there’s no point of me being here and tutoring you. I’m done here.”

You got up, packed your bag and left, not even casting a glance backwards

He’s quite relieved that you didn’t because he can feel his eyes watering because why is he so stupid???

He stayed silent in his seat for a good half-an-hour after the incident, contemplating and the other students in the library are concerned bc they’ve never seen Seokmin so down and defeated before 

A freshman named Chan was brave enough to actually come up to him and ask him what happened

“Are you ok bruh”

Again, he feels like crying when the kid asked him and he wanted to scream out NOOOOOOO I’M NOT OKAYY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE JUST LEFT ME but he figured it would ruin his reputation as a hyung so he said he’s fine

Chan’s like “lmao stop lying we heard everything” 

Seokmin: D:

Chan took a pity in him and decided to help him out

“You know, if you want to prove someone that you like them you should show them that you mean it. You should work hard for what you want.”

And Seokmin’s like “!!!”

“That’s it! I’m going to prove to Y/N that I’m going to be better in my studies!”

He kissed Chan on the cheek and with a new light in his eyes, sets out on his mission

Beating you

I meant academically, not physically gosh

So he set out a study plan and promised to himself that he’s gonna try and get better grades and show you that he’s serious

He also wants to show you that he’s capable of being as driven and focused as the other students

One day in class, he didn’t try and make jokes when class started so everyone was like omg is he ok?? is Seokmin sick?? why is he so quite?? is the world ending??!! 

lmao they don’t know but he’s just trying to focus on getting better grades

As the days go by, little by little, Seokmin’s progress is showing

He’s getting better in his studies and again, everyone was like !!! Seokmin! How?? Congrats, dude!

And he’s never been happier bc turns out, he can do this

Also, the look on his mother’s face when he gave her his exam paper was so worth it

But what makes him sad is that you still seem indifferent about him

You haven’t talked to him or even looked at him since that day

He was bothered but he figured he just needs to work harder

So he did

One day, you were just going home when you passed the school library and what you saw caught you off guard

You see Seokmin sitting in one of the desks, actually studying

And you can’t help but feel surprised but also proud because wow, kid’s actually putting an effort

So you kinda observed his behavior for a few days to see if he’s actually taking his studies seriously now

And to your delightful surprise, he is

Everyday on the same hour, he would go to the library, sit down at one of the desks and started studying

He may make a few jokes and chat with few of the students present there but he does study

Seeing that he actually wants to be better and the fact that you might’ve overreacted and was a complete jerk to him the last time, you decided that you want to go back to tutoring him

Imagine his surprise when one day, you just sat down next to him, pulling out books and worksheets and he’s like “what are you doing here?”

And you suddenly feel shy and awkward bc wow you really just went in like a hawk and didn’t even consider the fact that he might’ve been hurt after your outburst so you’re like “I’m tutoring you, but it’s ok if you don’t want to I’m just going to-”

And as you got up to leave, you can feel his hand grab your wrist and you feel your face turning red as you look back at him

He has the softest look on his face, and what almost looked like desperation in his eyes and said “Please stay”

And at this point your face is so red and you’re embarrassed and for some reason, for someone who’s so good with words, you’re at loss

So you nodded, sat down, and you both set out to study

Soon, you realized, against your initial prejudice, Seokmin is funny

He makes the weirdest jokes, makes stories so much more entertaining and makes the funniest imitations of teachers that makes you laugh so hard that the librarian actually bans you from the library

You actually don’t mind but now you don’t have anywhere to study

But Seokmin got an idea so he took you somewhere near school

Turns out he took you to Soonyoung’s regular dance studio

There are chairs and tables in the studio so you could study

At first you were hesitant bc are you sure this is okay???

He promised it’s fine and that he always goes there with Soonyoung 

“It’s not like this place is used much. Only my friends and I come here on the weekends”

So you start to study there after school instead of the library

You start to enjoy Seokmin’s company in class

You guys would joke and talk as you do your works and you think hey this is actually quite fun

You don’t understand why you were so high-strung before and realized that you didn’t need to sacrifice fun to get good grades

You started to see why people like Seokmin so much

He’s such a breath of fresh air and has such an amazing personality that he practically glows

You realize that whenever Seokmin’s not in class, it feels quite and there’s something missing

One day, you dropped your pen and as you leaned down to pick it up, Seokmin swooped in at the same time and for a moment your eyes meet and you never realized how Seokmin’s eyes are such a deep brown they’re almost black or the fact that he’s actually really really attractive????

So you’re like “:O” and he just gave you one of those smiles that rivals the sun itself and got back to his seat

lol you don’t know but he’s actually d y i n g inside

OMG Y/N JUST LOOKED AT ME!!! AND SHE’S SO PRETTY??? I CAN’TTTTT

But later that night, you couldn’t sleep thinking about him

You used to be so mean and stuck up to him and it leaves you wondering how he’s still so nice towards you

How can someone still be so kind and genuine after the hell you gave him??

Remembering all your bad deeds left a bitter taste in your mouth and you just feel so guilty

So you decided to repay his kindness

The next day, Seokmin noticed a box on his desk in class

He’s like who in the world?

He thought someone has put it on the wrong desk and that the gift was meant for somebody else 

Until he saw his name on the card on the box 

He went on to open it and turns out, it was a box of chocolate

He picked up the card and read it

“Hey Seokmin, I just want to thank you for being such a kind person and such a good friend. I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk to you and although a box of chocolate won’t mean anything compared to the times i’ve been mean towards you, I sincerely hope you’d forgive me -Y/N”

cue inner squealing 

He tries to contain his screams as he whipped around to find you but you’re nowhere to be seen lol you’re hiding in shame in the bathroom fyi

He’s so touched by the fact that you even thought of giving him something but honestly he would accept your apology anyways

You came back when the bell rang and you can’t find the courage to look Seokmin in the face as you take a seat but then you grabbed your wrist and said “Thank you, I mean it. I never thought go you as a bad person, though :))”

Everybody in the class was like “OMG :O”

IS THIS A NEW SHIP THAT WE SMELL

But you’re awkward so you just gave him an awkward smile and took a seat

Later that day Seokmin went to Soonyoung and went “OH MY GOD TODAY Y/N GAVE ME CHOCOLATE, DOES THAT MEAN WE’RE MARRIED NOW”

Soonyoung’s like “lmao Seokmin, you still have a long way to go, young one”

Anyways, you guys become kinda shy afterwards but you’re still friends 

You and Seokmin became a team for that semester’s exam period

You guys would stay late in the studio studying and would take turns in treating each other coffee

“Omg Seokmin, which question are you now”

“I’m on number 17 rn”

“Omg what I gotta catch up >:(”

You guys never talked about it but you do steal glances at each other as the other is working

You always feel so shy and giddy whenever you caught Seokmin’s eyes on you and you never seen someone whip their head so fast when you did

It’s endearing

But it’s also exam season so you don’t really want to get caught up and derail your whole study plans and get distracted so you pushed the temptations to act on your feelings neither does he

You guys become each other’s biggest supporters and you can feel all your time tutoring and studying with him pays off as he’s actually really good now that it’s kinda scary and intimidating??

But anyways, exam season passes just like that and today is the day you’re announcing your results

You’re actually really nervous bc so much has been happening lately that you’re scarred it’s gonna affect your studies and be reflected on your paper 

But you got #1 but you were even more shocked to see that Seokmin’s #2!

And you’re both like !!!

“OMG CONGRATS SEOKMIN!!!”

“Y/N IT’S ALL THANKS TO YOU!!” 

And you both went in for a hug but when you did, you realized 

‘Omg I’m hugging Seokmin”

He’s also ‘Omg I’m actually hugging the girl I like WHAT DO I DO”

And the whole class was like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The hug ended awkwardly for the both of you but you tried not to care

As you were going home, Seokmin stopped you and asked you if he can walk with you

with a blush You said yes

So there you two are, walking under the warm summer sun, a comfortable silence wrapped around you like a blanket

“..You remember the time I told you I liked you?” he asked

You laughed and were like “Yeah, ofc, those times were w i l d”

And he kinda looked at his feet and you were wondering why is he suddenly so quite?? This is not a Seokmin behavior

Unless…

“Wait, YOU MEANT IT??”

And he couldn’t look at your face because he’s so embarrassed and all he wanted to do right now is to run straight home and scream into his pillow bc yES HE MEANT IT

You’re like “:O”

There was another silence and this time it’s kinda awkward because 1) Wow turns out you’re the dumb one between the two of you and 2) WHAT DO YOU DO?!

But you’re so done of all these romantic tension that has been building up some week and you’re like f*** it we’re all gonna die anyways so you put up a facade, turned to him and said

“You know, I still got time until my curfew. We can go get some drinks at a cafe if you want.”

lol you’re sweating and dying inside

And he stopped walking and looked at you crazy and the way he looked at you make you wish that some random blackhole can just swallow you now until the biggest smile you’ve ever seen broke onto his face and he said “Sure! :D” and it made you all squishy inside to see someone so happy

As you walk towards your destination, his hand tentatively seek yours out and it was shy at first but his grip was strong once you latched onto it

Outside, you’re both are a blushing mess at this point but inside you’re like O M G I’m holding hands with the most attractive person on earth

Once, Seokmin stopped in his tracks completely and you’re like WHAT HAPPENED

And he’s like “Is this a date???? Does this mean we’re dating now???? :O” and the look on his face is just so innocent and cute you can’t help but asdfghjkl Seokmin you’re too cute

It’s totally a date btw and you’re totally dating