#i know she's killing people ok but even getting saved from a lesbian crazy vampire by LADY OSCAR counts as the dream alright

[juricore]

rosalie getting straight up carmilla'd in the berubara side story like are you joking. are you fucking kidding me. i know the countess is like killing young maidens and bathing in their blood and whatever but seeing her kiss rosalie on the mouth before the reveal had me like 😮 why tf is this girl. written in the 70s. living every gay woman's bodice ripper/period drama/gothic romance DREAM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[idontknowanametouse]

Straw Hat girlies headcanons! (Sanji included cuz transfem bigender Sanji lives rent free in my head. Also Bonney cuz why not; And Vivi is on the straw hats I don't care)

TW: mention of sexual abuse and other kinds of abuse, and also the trauma that comes with it

Nami

Autistic, but developed the habit of masking. Has been learning to undo it around her crew. Special interest? Maps, maps, maps. Tangerines are comfort food. She also has hypersensitivity to clothes, so she picks them very carefully. Her meltdowns are often, they come when she is emotionally overloaded, and she usually needs to stay alone to calm down.

After her meltdown in Arlong Park, her arm got paralyzed due to nerve damage. Now, she uses a sling to keep it always in place and not get hurt. Her tatoo covers a little, but not all her stabbing scars.

She has PTSD due to Bellemere's death, her enslavery and also due to being a survivor of SA. Has been doing therapy sessions with Chopper (he is learning about human psychology in order to help the crew) to help cope with it and receives help and support from the rest of the crew.

VERY pale, but due to spending so much time in the sea and under the sun, she ends up having many, many freckles through all of her body. Usually keeps wavy hair in ponytail due to it being really long.

Lesbian, loves girlies. Dating Vivi ever since they set foot in Alabasta. Clings to her so much it looks like they can't be separated. Also, Vivi was her lesbian awakening in the way of "wait, I think I like girls romantically???? And they are also hot????"

When she first entered the crew, she was underweight, almost malnourished, due to never having enough food and saving almost all money to save her village. However, after Arlong Park, she started gaining weight with the help of Sanji and Chopper. Now, she is fat, healthy and happy.

Loves orange, but also blue (no, it's not to match Vivi, shut the fuck up Usopp)

Swears and yells a lot. Has low voice tone control, actually.

Sometimes, when she is sad, she speaks to her tangerines as if Bellemere was there, as it feels comforting.

Ever since she received news that Cocoyashi Village got a Den Den Mushi, she calls them everyweek to tell Nojiko and Genzo about hers and the strawhat's adventures.

Besties with Usopp and Zoro, they talk shit about everyone. Gossip friends with Robin. Is one of the few people that can make Luffy not destroy an entire fucking island. Jinbei's second daughter (first is Koala).

Loves Beyoncé, rap and brazillian funk (Luffy introduced her to it) (yeah, I know this is a more modern-au like one, but let me have my headcanons ok).

Due to high sensitivity to clothes, she usually wears beach-like clothing cause they are light and let most of her skin exposed, so she can feel better the weather.

Terrified of bugs AND bats. Almost fainted when she first heard about vampires and now is fucking terrified of the possibility.

Likes drawing, not only maps, but her crewmates too. She is really good at it, however, she won't show it to anyone, just Nojiko (she's embarassed).

Only wears makeup and/or does different hairtyles in special occasions, as she finds it to be very inconvenient when they are on the sea.

Watching and hearing the sea is a nice visual stim. It helps her to calm down from the crazy thing that is day-to-day life with the straw hats.

She may say shit about her friends sometimes, but will absolutely kill you if you say anything bad about them.

Sanji

Autistic, special interest is fishes and the All Blue. Cooking is so stimmy hmmmm. Does not realize when she is being way too much on others. Even though he doesn't seem like, is very picking about food, can't handle anything made in a shit way. Has shutdowns instead of meltdowns as trauma response, and needs to stay around the crew these times.

Has PTSD due to constant abuse in childhood and from being stuck on the rock-island with Zeff (and also due to Zeff eating his leg). Due to never telling about it to anyone, he tried to hide it from the crew because of self-loathing, but after Whole Cake Island, the moments of crisis and panic attacks were so frequent it turned impossible. He is now working on it with Chopper, just like the rest of the crew.

Tall, with very strong legs with many scars on them. Has leg and facial hair, but, after Momoiro Island, she let her wavy hair grow and now keeps it in a bun, still with the part in front of the eye, of course.

Egg cracked with Ivankov, about both gender AND sexuality. Bi queen. Even though he didn't want to pass through surgeon (aka Ivankov's fruit) he still got a lot of help from the newkama. Also learned he loves drag and will do it sometimes for the crew.

Learned ballet as a kid from Reiju and his mom. Even though he always practiced it in secret, it came out once she started to do drag (on her shows, she uses ballet steps a lot).

Fave colors are yellow and blue, it feels soft.

Swears a lot. Zeff did swear a lot back on Baratie, after all.

Calls Zeff monthly to tell how things are going. Sometimes, after this, she cries a little.

Started dating Zoro shortly before timeskip and was afraid of how he'd react to the whole trans thing, but he couldn't care less. She cried over a week because of this.

Loves woman with all of her heart, specially her crew's ones. Not in a more sexual like way, but in a whole-heartdly way. Besties with Usopp, surprisingly VERY friends with Brook.

Listens to classical and french music, but sometimes likes some rock and roll.

Has three types of clothes: suits, dresses and a suit with a short and skirt. No matter the look, is always with ballet shoes.

Fucking scared of bugs. And pigeons. Don't ask, ok?

Sings very well, but doesn't like to show it. Only does it on the bathroom, but everybody ends up listening. They don't comment cause the single time they did they thought Sanji was having a heart attack.

Adores make-up and diverse hairtyling, finds it to be really cute.

Usually rocking back and forth on her feet, it feels nice.

Once kicked a guy to uncosciousness when he touched her butt.

Vivi

Autistic, has those big bug autism eyes, even though she masks well she cannot function daily without help, Karoo is her therapy animal, special interest in bugs (shares it with Luffy), has meltdowns whenever she knows she is completely alone and helpless.

Developed some level of paranoia after being infiltrated in Baroque Works, and sometimes has frenzys in which she thinks she is back there and that Alabasta is still in danger. It diminuted drastically after Chopper developed a medicine for her, but it still happens sometimes. Those moments, she can turn aggressive and needs to stay only with Karoo so she can calm down.

Has brown skin and some tatoos typical from the Nefertari family. She is short and skinny, and the secret nobody can absolutely know is that she dyes her (curly) hair blue (it's her favorite color and her mom used to do the same, so, she dyes it. Nobody other than Nami can know though).

Lesbian, her first crush was Miss All Sunday (it didn't last much, but o boi, how many nights she spent thinking about how ABSOLUTELY WRONG having a crush on your enemy is). Had an immediate crush in Nami, but couldn't say it cuz of the whole Miss Wednesday thing. They kissed after they left Drum Island and started dating at Alabasta.

Deals with the guilt of being with the strawhats instead of Alabasta very often, and likes having hugs so it can go away.

Favourite color is blue, but not all blue, just sky-blue.

Never swears, feels a little embarassed whenever someone does.

Resolves troubles from Alabasta through Den Den Mushi, that way she doesn't get that much worried. Also keeps in contact with her dad, Pell and Igaram.

Even though they had a complicated relationship at the start, Robin and her ended up being very friends, they love parallel playing (honestly, who doesn't?). Also very close to Luffy and Yamato, the one that keeps a leash on the two of them, relates a lot to Zoro in that aspect.

Loves bubblegum pop, an absolute Swiftie. Sometimes also compelled to Aurora and Halsey.

Whenever they go to an island, she likes keeping her formal clothes (after all, she is the crew's diplomat!). In fights, she uses more simple clothes and a mask to keep her identity hidden. In the ship, however, you'll always find her in pajamas (no, she is not always sleeping, Zoro does that very well for the whole crew).

Is scared of the sea, even though she can swim, nobody knows why.

Likes dancing and presenting to the crew, but the crew only. If some outsider is there, she won't dance at all. Likes helping Sanji with the choreography of her drag shows.

Likes makeup, but hates stylizing her hair. She is absolutely terrible at it, so she just keeps it in a ponytail during fights and that's it, that's the best you can get from her.

Likes playing and fidgeting with small things like coins, buttons, rubik cubes, pebbles and stuff like that. Usually has something in her hand.

Feels bad for being one the weakest crew members, but is always cheered up by the rest. After all, she doesn't need to fight to be nakama, even though she can kick some asses.

Robin

Autistic. Weirdgirl, big autistic stare, says every single creepy fact she knows in not very good situations, no social cues get to her head, never masks, almost always same expression and tone, special interest in history, does not know how to function normally, has auditory and light hypersensitivity, meltdowns caused by way too much light, sound and visual information.

Has PTSD due to the destruction of Ohara, living her childhood, teenagehood and adult years as a runaway and being constantly betrayed and abandoned. She sometimes has moments of profound anxiety in which she asks herself if she is gonna lose her family. Chopper helps her a lot with it, and, when she has those crisis, she gets a hug from everyone anytime she asks for it.

Very tall, with a few specific parts of her body being thicker than the rest. Her skin is dark, with many scars through all of it, and she has blue eyes and long (but not as long as Nami's or Yamato's), straight black hair.

Trans woman, found out during early childhood, and bisexual queen. Even though she was never in a relationship before entering the crew, she was with a few people before. Franky is the first guy she is with, and also the first person she dates. It's a bit scary for both, but feels also really, really good.

She was underweight most of her life due to the inconstancy of her nutrition and life situation, but in Baroque Works she had lots of food. She thought a pirate crew wouldn't care about their nutrition or food, but it was opposite. Even though she does not gain weight easily, her sillouette, that was VERY slim before, became thicker in a few points. Not much, she still is thin, but it's less ill-looking.

Favorite color is purple, black and dark blue. Goth girl Robin is real.

Does not swear, but says such weird, creepy and worrying stuff it makes everyone wish she did. It would be less scary.

Loves organizing stuff, for some reason. If you leave her alone in a messy room, in a short time it will be very nice-looking and clean. She has fun with it!

After some initial tension, she started taking care of Vivi like a big sister. Was called "mom" by Chopper once and almost had a heart attack. Enjoys parallel playing with Zoro and Law, scaring Usopp and playfully flirting with Jinbei (Franky loves this, it makes them laugh how embarassed it makes Jinbei look).

Likes goth and punk music, it feels very nice to her. Also loves horror-like classical music, it helps her to sleep (weirgirl Robin weirdgirl Robin weirdgirl Robin-).

Even though she appreciates goth fashion, it's not really for her. She prefers long, purple jackets to her elbow over dark flower-pattern dresses, dark boots and her cowboy hat with sunglasses (they help her with light sensitivity and it also looks really cool).

Absolutely HATES to be around statues. They just get a nerve on her. It feels awful, she wants to break them in half so they stop looking at her.

Likes sending messages to the crew in the vitorian flower language. Nobody gets it, but they try. She keeps infodumping about it, so they can get at least a few things.

Doesn't like makeup very much, but simple hairtyling is nice. She will experiment on it, but only in particular.

Makes many vocal stims. They variate from humming to speaking random syllabes to screaming out loud. The crew has gotten used to it. Stimming with her akuma no mi also feels very nice.

Has broken more necks than you would think. Is also nicer than you would think.

Bonney

Autistic. Very loud, has no control over her tone, emotionally extreme, no social abilities, pizza is her comfort food, has hyposensitivity to sounds and lights, sarcasm queen but doesn't get other's sarcasm or lies, has meltdowns because of people fighting that involve a lot of self harm.

Has night terror with her dad being chained and his death. She needs to go to Luffy so she can hug him and feel better. Also has hyperactivity and needs medicines from Chopper so she can sleep and focus on stuff.

Small for her age, has white skin that is also tan due to the sun, likes putting piercings through her body (Chopper is scandalized), has brown eyes and hair, which she dyes pink cuz she knows her mom did as well.

Transfem demigirl, came out when she was 7 and told her dad "I wanna be a girl" "alright" and that was it. Didn't know what was a period until Chopper explained, and then got reliefed she didn't get that shit.

Eats A LOT, but runs so much throughout all of the ship all the day through it basically doesn't affect her body in a noticeable way. Shares this fact with Luffy.

Favorite color is pink, all of them. Does not matter the tones, if it's pink, she loves it.

Learned to swear on her time as a pirate. Does it on a daily basis.

Always speaks to her dad when she feels alone. It makes her feel better, to think he is accompanying her journey with the straw hats.

Likes smelling stuff. Sometimes looks like a dog while doing it. She just can feel the vibes of the person through their smell. She warns the crew whenever she smells evil. She is never wrong.

Calls everyone her big siblings. Luffy's apprentice, spends much time with him, specially when they are eating. Is spoiled rotten by Sanji, he loves when she asks for food. Loves being carried by Zoro, Yamato, Brook, Franky and Jinbei. Never gets tired of hearing Usopp's stories. Besties with Chopper.

Loves pop and rock, always sings along while screaming.

Always wearing clothes way too big for her size cuz of her akuma no mi, likes wearing bubblegum-pop and tiktok like clothes.

Scared of labs and doctors. Had to be convinced throughout an entire week to do her first check-up on Chopper. She is now ok around him, but other doctors are terrifying (she keeps trying to find out where Law hides the bodies he obviously kills. He is called death surgeon, come on).

Likes hearing Robin read books for her and Chopper. It's nice and recalls her home, plus Robin's voice is really sweet.

Loves experimenting on makeup, specially with help of the girls, but hair is too complicated. When she is not with her hat, she keeps the hair in a bandana and that's it. Plus it's always messy and she has a hard time combing it.

Stims by running. A LOT. And jumping. Whenever she thinks something interesting, she goes through the entire ship, down and up, until she falls on the sea and someone has to get her.

Can kick ass, but is still a child, so the crew kind of... overprotects her a little. Basically, if she gets hurt in battle, prepare to die. Very painfully.

[neirawrites]

I was a Twihard in high school. Then I was a Twilight hater. In  2018, I decided to reread the first book, to see for myself on which side I belonged. I wrote my thoughts as I read, in multiple parts, but on my main blog, so I thought I might share them on my writeblr too, because I kinda had fun with it. 

Enjoy my many, many notes

Pages 0-50

I’m actually kinda into it. Yeah, there are a many issues every article on editing tells you to fix (filter words, -ing verbs and things like that), but i feel it. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there.

Bella isn’t that bad of a protagonist. Nothing too spectacular, but she’s fine. She is depressed, self sacrificing and hides her feelings, but also a lot more self aware than i though she would be(like when she notices mike, my son, likes her). She’s a typical teenage girl, the introverted type, way into reading. there’s nothing wrong with that.

I don’t know why i remember Edward being a draco in leather pants,but he’s also fine for now. mysterious and handsome and a bit weird. The first real conversation they have, he’s polite and nice and charming. I expected him to be a dick for like 150 pages at least.

Pages 50-100

I’m still really into it.

Yeah,Edward kinda ghosts her/gaslights her after the whole van incident, but with the benefit of hindsight,i kinda get it. It’s a wonder he didn’t pick up his entire family and moved to Alaska again. I also get her mood during that time and I've been there so i feel ya,Bella,it’s not your fault.

And yeah, Bella gets invited to the dance by three different guys and it’s all kinds of fan fic-y, but the fact she turns them down furthers my belief she’s wake up married to Edward in like a few years and realize she would rather be with Rosalie (a solid choice, might i add).

Edward’s really pushy, especially when it comes to the scene after she faints. like, let her go, you jerk, she can drive herself, but he’s more weird than he’s a jerk and i think that was intentional.

A big surprise was the line “what if i’m not the hero, what if i’m the bad guy?” which isn’t this super cheesy, extra dramatic sentence but a jokey joke told with a laugh. actually, that whole conversation in the cafeteria where she tries to guess what he is is gold and don’t try to tell me otherwise.

I’m reading her interests in him as less of a romantic thing, and more of frustration at his behavior,like she would still be fascinated by him if he wasn’t so hot because he’s just so weird (but being hot is definitely a plus).

Plot? What plot?

Still, while the flaws are there, i’m still enjoying it very much.

Pages 100-150

Is Stephanie Meyer into anime? Cuz she wrote a harem light novel,that’s what she did and that’s how i’ll read it from now on and have more fun doing it. (Might make a post elaborating on this further).

All this to say that we got to Jacob. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot about him.  He seems like a nice kid and i’m glad Bella has some positive interaction. Team jacoj 4 life (jk,man,i was team jasper in high school which is in retrospect very weird of me). I know he becomes a friend-zoned dudebro later, but for now, he’s fine.

Meyer, lady, you’re winning me over as a half hearted defender of your work, but why are the girls so bitchy? Yeah,i know, bitchy girls exist in real life, especially in high schools,but girls are our friends and we need more positive female on female interactions. Just my personal preference, I guess.

Things are getting interesting. Bella’s dreaming weird dreams (just fyi, not a big fan of dream scenes in general), she’s googling like crazy  and we’re going to Port Angeles.

I never felt she has any sort of affection for Angela or Jessica who seem really nice and have done nothing wrong. Like loosen up Bella, give them a chance. I know, depression makes you into a bitch sometimes, but it would warm me up to her character if she was a little more affectionate with people around her.

That whole scene where she almost gets at best beaten up and mugged and at worst raped and killed is… not my favorite part of the whole thing. I get what Meyer needed to do, to have her be saved by Edward, but there must have been a better way to go about it. What do I know? I’m the queen of forced plot contrivances. I do like their conversation at the restaurant (again, why do we hate the female waitress, Steph?). I don’t know why, I expected Edward to be mad at Bella for what happened to her and he seems genuinely concerned and his anger feels… human. Some of his actions, however, do not.

He stalked her which is weird and creepy and I hate it. Don’t stalk people, Edward. most of us don’t like it. you’re lucky Bella’s a weirdo.

150-200

I kinda love how ok she’s with the whole vampire thing. she’s just “well, this kid i barely know told me a scary story, so i guess the guy from school is a vampire. it be like that sometimes.” my first assumption would be it’s all an elaborate prank to make fun of me (i have some deep seeded trust issues origins of which remain unknown). and he’s waaay to quick to confirm her suspicions. I think there’s an explanation in the part of midnight sun that got leaked, but that was like a century ago.

I would criticize her for being ride or die with Edward so fast, falling in love with him so quickly, but i exchanged like 5 sentences with a cute girl last night and a part of is ready to propose based on the artiness of her instagam, so who the eff am i to judge?

and i get why he’s fascinated with her. she’s the only one he can’t read.

why? i don’t think that question ever gets a good enough answer, but it’s a fictional story about a girl falling in love with a sparky vampire. i’m not here for complex science or detailed explanations.

he seems waaay too protective of her. She’s a big girl, Ed, she can take care of herself. It’s actually kinda annoying. i dislike how he treats like a child a lot of the time. he seems pretty condescending. also, if he broke her car, i’m taking back everything nice i said about him.

ok, let me finally address bella’s biggest character flaw, her clumsiness. i mean, i get why she has it but Meyer goes a bit too hard on it. i’m clumsy, i really am, full of bruises, always bumping into things, but Bella can’t walk 20 meters without tripping. i guess i’m just glad she becomes a vampire in the book four, otherwise the book five would have been about her struggles when she’s diagnosed with a stage four inoperable brain tumor that’s been mesing with her sense of balance and the whole things turns into a weird version of the fault in our starts.

if i were writing it i would focus on her trust issues and being unable to form real bonds with other people as her main flaw, maybe even use it to try and justify the whole thing with the mind Edward can’t read. Like, she’s too different in a way that makes her unable to connect even on a basic level, like that one Blue whale that sings at a different frequency than all the others. Idk,i write pulpy sci fi. but it’s easy to be a general after the battle.

we got to the two infamous lines:

how are you? 17. how long have you been 17?  is another line that’s more jokey than i though it would be, but also the most realistic piece of dialogue in this book. i would so ask the same thing.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, this paragraph has been memed to death. Second, there was a part of me-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that would know every word of it till the day i died. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in like with it.

200-300

Not gonna lie, the whole part where he goes around asking her questions he is legitimately interested in knowing the answers to is at the same time my kinkiest fantasy and my deepest fear. like, yaaas, daddy, get to know me on the personal level and don’t be turn off by the fact i’m a tabula rasa.

We got to the infamous meadow scene and Bella is sooo horny on main for that vampire stake it’s actually kinda funny. She gets so effing into it she faints. I fucking love this girl. Go get that adonis dick, Bella, you deserve it.

I don’t mind vampires sparkle.i mean,it’s lame and fanfic-y but in Bosnia we have the lampires so vampires are creatures with a high dose of plasticity. i don’t know why that was like the worst thing anyone has ever done to the vampires. They are kinda too strong and could use a real weakness tho.  

So the lion fell in love with the lamb is kind of another joke. Also, this is the skin of a killer is sadly just in the movie.

I do have the feeling he likes the project that he sees in Bella more than the real girl,but ok. Also stop nagging her. He watches her sleep. What a creep. I don’t know why, but the fact that he’s a vampire who doesn’t have to sleep makes it kinda less creepy for me. I don’t know why.

But “if i could dream at all i would be about you,” is the kind of ultracheese i can get behind. they are both such teenagers and i kinda looooove it.

Also non of the boys were her type is such a lesbian excuse. I feel ya Bella, i feel ya. I hope you discover your gayness after the end of breaking dawn.

We meet the cullens and every single one of them has a backstory like 528 times more interesting than Edward. i need novels about them, all of them ffs. it would be so cool. but, one of my favorite oc’s Errien Lark gets like 30 lines in the whole book so i can only be as harsh on Meyer as on myself (which is to say a lot. neither of us deserve these characters, honestly)

This book would have been more interesting if Bella fell in love in any other cullen. Like, Bella and Alice, Bella and jasper (Bella and Jasper and Alice. Sorry, i’m into solving love triangles with ot3s).Bella and Rosalie, Calilise, Esme, even Emmett, who i remember  as mike of the vampires, but it’s been a decade.

300 pages in and plot is yet to happen, but it’s ok. we have the vampire baseball next.

the last part.

get your hot takes! hot takes right here

I kinda like billy. He seems like a nice guy. Also billy/charlie as my new otp.

“The beautiful one,the godlike one.” Bella, you are such a teen.

The less fucks she has about him being an all powerful ancient creature of the night who can murder her in a heartbeat, the funnier it is. She is just soo casual about it. Comedy gold, i tell ya. i mean, this is actually part of the narrative, Edward comments on it, meyer knows what she wrote.

Ed,maybe is you stopped saying she smells good, you would be better at not thinking about her as food. Mind over matter. Just a thought. Maybe i misjudged his virgin ass. Maybe ed the incel actually fell in love with her. Or at least what he thinks is love since they’ve been dating for like two days (look who’s talking?the girl who reads any sign of affection as a statement of love and then gets disappointed).

“Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle”. That’s sexist steph. Emmett, honey, you are as gracious as you want to be.

Also a big yaaaas on the whole concept of vampire baseball. we needed more of it.

Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot!

We have encountered plot. Only 320 pages in. three bad vampires came into town.

Story time: when i was in high school, all like 20 of us in out class were really, really into twilight (dudes included). we quoted it all the time but the height of comedy happened when someone brought their friend from another school to out class and someone else was like “you brought a snack” and a meme was born to be quoted endlessly for months. it was actually kinda fun. and probably very annoying for anyone who wasn’t into twilight.

Also, any development? Backstory? Motivations other than for the hell of it for out boi James and his ginger girlfriend? come on, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Also, some foreshadowing? There was like one line before. This is a legitimate criticism. it’s kinda shitty writing and a wasted opportunity.

Edward is being a dick again. I get he’s scared but her dad could die. Or maybe they’ll trun him into a vampire too (charlie/Edward? Think about it). But they all call him out on it which is nice. Bella’s plan isn’t bad, but “let me go charlie” is the straight up coldest thing i have read in a long time. it’s supposed to be, this isn’t criticism, just stating the obvious. But she showed like an inclining of love for her dad who has been nothing but nice all this time. Yeeey, she’s not a robot.

“It was the best idea. Of course it was mine” . Yaas, queen, you’re not that much of a doormat;  take that credit.

i would do something to foreshadow the ballet studio thing in the first half of the book. at least, have Bella or Charlie looking at pictures from her recital, just to intricate it to the plot a bit more.

Ok, now i remember why i was team jasper. He is so effing nice. And he would be awesome for my depression. Neira/Alice/jasper, i ship it.

i’m kinda digging the explanations of how vampires work and the whole venom thing. They are still op af and need to be nerfed, but i wanna be one.

Of course, he used the mom. She’s like the only person bella actually cares about. She falls for it. i would probably fall too, but i’m dumb.

the fact that james hunted Alice is a nice and a very much needed twist. it did catch me of guard. i would be more mad he’s a bad guy monologing, but i can only introduce stones to my own glass houses.

Bella’s now more into the idea of being a vampire than into Edward and i’m living for it. she’s going to use him for his venom and a baby and run off with rosalie.

“and how many times did she fall our of a window?” (yes, that is a Sherlock reference in the year 2018 of our lord. maybe i should do that for my next project. should i wait a few more years?)

her mom is not worried enough, honestly. my mom would be freaking out. but my mom has anxiety issues, so idk… (i couldn’t get her smooth hairless legs, or her blue eyes but i got that gene. thanks, i guess) .

“And i have a couple of girlfriends” now that’s a novel i want to read but i guess i’ll have to write the lesbian twilight myself.

“I want to be superman too”. yeeees, finally, kristen steward in the role of superman casting of the century. you would all watch it and love it, and you know it.

Charlie doesn’t deserve this shit. when will he retire with his husband billy in their cabin where they can fish all day.

“Do you want me to bolt the door so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?“ Are we sure she hasn’t been a vampire from day one?

Jacob is a sweetie (for now) just putting that out there.

Edward is kinda being unreasonable. being a vampire in your universe isn’t that bad.

Aaaaw, and that’s a wrap.

i actually kinda digged it. it’s nothing special, but i read these last 150 pages in one sitting. my main issues are writing oriented. very little foreshadowing, many filter words and things like that, but i guess if you aren’t that into writing, you might not even notice more of that.

it’s not the death of literature, it’s not the worst love story ever told. it’s just a silly and mostly harmless wish fulfillment novel.

edward can be a controlling and condescending prick but he gets called out on it very often. it’s not like meyer is completely oblivious to what she’s writing. and even tho he’s 100, i guess they are all mostly stuck mentally at the age when they were turned. or at least that’s how it seems to me. bella is kind of a bitch to everyone who’s not a vampire and she’s never called out on it, there’s a glimpse of change in the epilogue, but i don’t think meyer really considered it a character flaw. which is a shame, as it could have made for an interesting character. all the vampires have stories i would rather read about, as i said before, but what can ya do? that’s what’s fanfics are for.

i may write more of cohesive thought on it when it settles in my brain, but first, i need to watch the movie. i have a hypothesis i need to test.

but i don’t regret doing this. it was kinda fun and now i’m no longer ashamed of my twihard phrase. i could have done worse, as far as teen phases go.

Someone should like write a fanfic, but Edward is not a vampire, but a rich guy. And he’s into some hard core spanky business. And they should take all the problematic elements and just crank them up to 11. And add a looot of sex. I bet they could make millions.

Tho, honestly, how can you read twilight and not make bella the kinky dom? you fundamentally misunderstood the story. for shame