#i know its so tempting to get frusterated with how slow and innconscistent progress can be....
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banghwa · 4 years ago
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Genually do you have any advice on just how to feel whole again? I took a break from writer and came here and I am a point where HERE became Twitter also And I cant espace bc where else to go anway
under the cut bcs this is long and i dont want to take over ppls’ dashes ✨
im not sure im the best to give advice on this because more often than not i feel like im chasing after pieces of myself without really knowing where or what they are but... if theres anything the last couple years have taught me is that. its really important to get to know yourself personally to really understand what it is you need. when you say “feel whole,” do you know what it is you are missing? read into your behaviour. look back on mistakes and mishaps - times you’ve dumped anger on a friend, made unfounded and paranoid assumptions, been afraid to speak honestly, let yourself be taken advantage of by someone, etc. look for patterns and when you find that something comes up a lot, find a reason for it. whether its a desperate need to be liked as a result of a need for closeness, an advertisement to intimacy or vulnerability as a result of a fear of disappointing, perpetual anger as a result of broken trust. the Big Boss - whatever it is you’re “missing” is behind all that, manifesting itself in all of your interactions and insecurities. whether you want to “fill” that emptiness or you want to learn to accept what you lack and live with it is up to you. but you can’t really address that until you understand what it is you’re longing for and how it’s affecting you in your day-to-day.
as for being online, its so important to identify what exactly it is that alienates you and to just. block it out. i’ve managed to build myself a nice little circle of people i interact with, and i use the block button and filtering feature VERY liberally these days. my filtered tags and words list is so long bcs at the end of the day, im just here to have fun. strangers on the internet arent entitled to my time or my attention... but also it can be really hard to escape negativity and existential dread on here too which is why it's also really important to learn to not be dependent on online spaces for distraction. finding hobbies and things to do offline sounds so pretentious but it really goes a long way. spending less time online has done wonders for my anxiety. even if you’re cutting your time down a half-hour on socials to read or play dress-up games or having a small side account where you can just go and rb memes and nothing serious. learning to disconnect really helps with how often you can feel overwhelmed and anxious online. it helped me feel less guilty about taking time for myself and not taking the internet as seriously.
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