#i know it's the curse of liking villains. ive known that basically my whole life

[ludinusdaleth]

given how many times you've called ludinus abusive and pointed out he's a fantasy nazi, i'm shocked people insist you woobify him

like a few posts down i literally have a breakdown of his colonialist behavior please dont assume i excuse him doing anything 😭 on twitter circa 2020 i was known as his biggest hater and never once took my eyes off him when everyone was focusing on trent, i hope people understand i hate him, i just also grew to love him too for all the complexities matt has put in him and how long the elfs game has played out. i dont get why analyzing him is such a sin. if matt adores him for being a bitch, why cant others?

[layniapetrovnaaa]

In cauda venenum

[Natasha Romanoff x Reader]

Request: @honeyxbucket​ 

 Hi there! I would like to request a Natasha x reader fic! A one shot more specifically kinda angst I hope that’s okay! Plot: Y/n is peter parks biological sister and shared the same powers as him and even has her own suit (it’s basically just a light purple Spider-Man suit) well anyway one day they are on a mission (you can choose who the villain is) and at the end y/n almost died and is sent to the hospital and Natasha freaks out but y/n ends up okay lots of fluff at the end

(I’m sorry this is so short, but I hope it was what you were looking for!)

“I like the new suit.” Peter spoke innocently.

The orange glow of the sunset cocooning him in warm light. The sun felt nice on your skin, given the cool NYC fall temperature.

The two of you sat atop a medium sized apartment building, keeping an eye out for any suspicious activity.

Ever since Mac Gorgon, or Scorpion, had escaped from prison you and Peter had been on the look out. 

Apparently you weren't the only ones. 

The two of you had recently gotten a tip from Daredevil (a recent acquaintance and new ally) that he was hiding out in a small garage right near the Hudson river. 

So there you were.

“I thought a change of pace might be nice.” you say, glancing down at the sleek and tight fitting purple suit.

“Very inconspicuous.” he teases.

You laugh, punching his shoulder lightly.

“Look who’s talking!” you retort and he puts his hands up in defense. 

Once your giggling starts to fade, you turn your head to look out at the city. 

You noticed a shady looking man unlocking the door to a building a little ways down the street. 

“Peter, eight o'clock.”

“Is that what time May said to be back for dinner? Cause--”

You scoff.

“No, look.” you nod with your chin. 

He leans over, looking in the correct direction.

“Are you sure it’s him?”

As he speaks, the man turns his head to scan the streets, just long enough for you and Peter to note the prominent scar on his face.

“Oh shit.” your brother lets out.

You both put on your masks.

“Let’s go.” you order, standing up and shooting out a web after you made sure that the criminal wouldn't see you. 

You should have noticed the signs upon entering, he was expecting you. 

Your spider-senses were telling you that he was on the ground floor, but your eyes told you otherwise.

It was odd, he was no where in sight, and the building was a few degrees cooler then it was outside. 

“I don’t think he is here [Y/N], we should go back to our post” Peter says quietly. 

As you turn around and start to head for the exit, you hear his sinister voice. 

“Leaving so soon?”

You turn round to see him coming out of the shadows.

You had known about his enhanced abilities, given to him by experiments, but you were in the dark about the Scorpion-like suit he was currently donning.

“Oh fuck me.” you curse under your breath as you watch the orange colored sunlight reflect off of his knife-like stinger. 

“You like? My friend Doc Ock made it for me.” you could practically hear the malicious grin in his voice.

“Not bad, but its a bit bulky, don’t y’think?” you reply sarcastically.

You see his smile drop and he starts charging towards you and Peter.

“Watch out!” you exclaim as he goes to attack Peter, your web hitting one of the beams in the ceiling and you swing yourself up there.

“That reaction was a bit dramatic, I mean you did ask for her opinion.” Peter grunts out as he wrestles with the villain.

You stick on the ceiling, crawling so that you are behind Scorpion, launching your web to stop his poisonous tail from impaling your sibling.

He whips his head around to face you before jumping onto the wall, sticking his claws into it and crawls his way over to you. 

You detach yourself from the ceiling, only hanging by your fingertips, and aim your webs at his ankle as you pull him down to the ground with you. 

The fight continues, each interaction becoming more killer than the last, you knew it was time to call in.

“This is [Y/N] Parker, I’m calling for backup, we are at an old abandoned garage near the Manhattan cruise terminal on 12th, please hurry.”

You had underestimated the speed and strength of Scorpion, and now you were reaping the consequences.

You break into a sprint towards the monster who had his back to you, but he was faster than you and turns just in time to inject his venomous stinger into your pectoral muscle, right below your left  collarbone. 

You gasp and feel your toes leave the ground by an inch. 

The venom that coursed through your veins felt like lava.

Mac grins and removes the stinger, you collapse to the ground.

“[Y/N]?” Peter lets out in almost a whimper. 

Your eyes squeeze shut and you clench your jaw, trying to bear the pain.

An alarm like sound comes from Scorpions wrist.

“This isn’t over spidey, you’re next.” he growls, jumping onto the wall and crawling through the big open window near the ceiling.

You open your eyes to look at the wound, seeing Peter rush to your side in a blur. 

He rests your head onto his lap, throwing off his and your mask. 

Not a second later the garage doors burst open.

Natasha, Tony, and Rhodey stand on guard until they finish scanning the perimeter. 

She had to do a double take when she noticed you and your brother on the ground. 

As soon as she realized the predicament, she ran over, settling at your side, opposite of Peter.

“Natasha?” you murmur, starting to fall in and out of what they all hoped was consciousness, reaching your hand up to touch her cheek. 

“I’m here.” she says as she grabs your hand. 

Your head rolls back and she takes in a sharp breath.

“What the hell happened?!” she asks sharply.

“I-I-I I don’t know...it-it all happened so fast.” Peter lets out in almost a sob. 

“We need to get her back to base, now.”

When a second passes and no one moves, she demands again.

“I said move, goddammit!” she growls, the four the superheros immediately snapping into action.

“It’s gunna be okay, [Y/N]. You’re going to be fine.” she breaths, talking more to herself than you.

“It’s gunna be fine...”

*** 

The water ran down Natasha's hands as she rung out the warm washcloth. The wood floor was cold on her bare feet as she lugged her way towards the grey monochrome bed where her sleeping girlfriend lay. Natasha let out a low sigh as she sat down on the side of the bed. She gently laid the damp towel on  the girl’s forehead.

Again she sighs. 

Had it not been for your spider like powers and Doctor Banners wicked brain, you wouldn't have made it. 

The redhead would flinch  almost every beep of the heart monitor, and the IV hooked to your arm made her tense. 

The light from the window next to the queen bed seeped through the blinds, and as it seems, right into your eyes as you start to come back to consciousness. 

Your lashes flutter, and you hear Natasha mutter to herself. 

"If only I could have been faster. Ah god" her voice cracks. 

Natasha wipes the tear from her cheek quickly, as if she was embarrassed somebody would see. 

"I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you," she says as she lets out a shaky breath. 

"I can't lose you Y/n.."

Slowly you grab her hand.  

"Natalia..."

Her head whips in your direction. 

"Hey, your supposed to be asleep." She sniffs. 

"You could never lose me Tahsa."

Natasha huffs.

"So you heard all that?"

"Don't blame yourself for my mistakes." You said weakly. She shakes her head. 

"Y/n/n, I— I thought I was going to lose you...and I don’t know what I would have done.”

"Nat.." 

She huffs. 

“My whole life has been calculated and cautiously planned, but you make me throw caution to the wind. You make me unable to think straight, I can hardly form a coherent sentence when you are around [Y/N]. You wreck me in the most glorious ways, you break down every barrier I have, you see me for me. I-I just can’t loose you.”

A tear slips down your cheek at er confession.

“Wow, Nat I-I don’t know what to say...”

“Don’t, don’t worry about it.” she shakes her head lightly

"I love you Natalia, you are the most beautiful, badass, and selfless person I know." 

She chuckles and scoffs. 

"I love you too, Y/n." 

She leans down to kiss your lips, they're soft and warm, and it's just electric between you two. 

“I should go tell Bruce you’re awake.”

You nod and she gets up from the bed.

As she opens the door, her hand still on the door nob, she speaks.

“I meant everything I said...I love you so much it hurts.”

You nod and bite your lip, the corners of your mouth drifting upwards.

She nods, a tight lip smile threatening to grace her face as she walks out, shutting the door softly behind her. 

“I never thought I’d see the day the Black Widow went soft.”

“Shut it Stark.”

[parasite-core]

!!! I'm not sure if you've answered something like this before, but a la TMA, what would your OCs be avatars of? And I'm curious about whether you have any OCs on the backburner! I tend to have a lot of OCs that Ive made but don't necessarily have a whole story attached to them yet, and I was mostly curious if you do the same thing, and what kind of OC ideas you would be excited about in the future!

Haha you asked at a good time, because my friend and I just started a tma AU of our OCs last week so I have thought about it extensively lately.

Lucien would definitely be an Avatar of the Vast. He’s very Simon Fairchild about falling from heights. But also he has a thing for stars and the night sky, so he’d have a very space-centric set of vast abilities, and his go to horror would be leaving people in the void of space, seeing and truly comprehending the sheer enormity of space and how much emptiness is in between everything.

Haruki would be an Avatar of the Slaughter. He’s actually acting as the first villain in our AU. Haruki uses a crystal knife that infects people with wrath. People who act on it become like Melonie was with the bullet, Slaughter aligned although not necessarily an avatar in their own right. People who try to bottle up their feelings and avoid their anger, afraid of losing control or of what they might do to others, will be devoured by it, the crystals overtaking them and feeding in their fear.

Roland was a victim of Haruki in the AU. But if he were an Avatar I think he’d be an Avatar of the Lonely. He has a hard time making connections with others outside his close friends, it took him a long time to open up to the party in his canon campaign, and he spends large parts of his story outside the campaign alone.

Kiyo would be an Avatar of the End. Death and their relationship with it defines their life so much, even if they would want to escape it, it’s inevitable they’d become a part of it.

Sai in the AU takes a role similar to Gerry. If she were an Avatar, I’d say...maybe the Corruption. She’s been known to turn people she doesn’t like onto insects, so that in a larger scale. Either that or the Eye, because she is extremely intelligent and likes to Know things.

Kaius in the AU is an archive assistant. If he were an Avatar, he’d be an Avatar of the Hunt. He’s a vengeful person when you wrong him, and he will hunt you down if he thinks you deserve it.

Morris in the AU is a former assistant to Jergen Leitner. As an Avatar...I honestly have a hard time picturing Morris as an Avatar. Maybe the Eye? But that doesn’t feel right. I could see the Stranger maybe. Yeah I think that’s the closest to true to him.

Umbrolus in the AU is Umber, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Because we decided it would be funny if it were him instead of Kleio (who is based on Jon). So in the AU he’s going to be an Avatar of the Eye. This happened because he got traumatized by the entity that Umbrolus would originally have been aligned with, which is the Vast. Umber is on the radar of four entities: the Vast, the Slaughter, the Eye, and the Lonely. He has a lot of potential to fall to any of them from his combination of character traits. Although the Vast traumatized him and now he can’t walk outside at night without almost going into an anxiety attack.

As for characters I have on the back burner, I have two at the moment.

The first is Calio Caecos, an oracle who accidentally stumbled into just the right set of magical artifacts and rituals to start becoming a lich unintentionally. Calio is a bit of a narcissist, and because the beginnings of lichdom have caused him to start looking unhealthy (a la Voldemort) he’s very upset about this and trying to find a way to undo it (not actually knowing that becoming a lich is what’s happening, he just thinks he was cursed or something). His backstory is going to just be a list of different things he touched/stumbled into/nearly got killed by/did that was a bad idea, which led to the lichy end result. This includes a year that’s basically the black out drunk Skyrim quest where he doesn’t remember a thing that happened during it because of one of the many rituals/artifacts he touched that he shouldn’t have. He’s going to be my character in a Reign of Winter Pathfinder game. I expect he’ll die quickly because I’ve already rolled his stats and they aren’t good, but I think I’m going to have fun as long as he lasts. He’s going to be a bit of a terrible person and a huge flirt, which I don’t usually do, so that’ll be different.

The other is a elf magus named Caladrel. I made then to be a one-off character in an arena fight against Umbrolus in the RP I was doing with him, but I liked them a lot after the scene was over so now I’m holding onto them as a possible backup character for either Umbrolus or Calio. I don’t know much about Caladrel yet, except that they travel around seeking challenging opponents, are honorable, but also don’t like when others hold back against them so they are willing to egg their opponent on if it’ll mean a better fight.

[gothamdetected-a]

an idiot’s guide to the wayne family.

now complete with new diagrams! i wish i wash kidding, ive really made a diagram to help illustrate this.

[ follow the link here for actual visible quality. thanks tumblr.]

some points to make quickly -

• this is not complete. there were probably more siblings and wives and children, but i just focused on the main lineage i could piece together from DC knowledge

• apologies for the lack of knowledge on the women in the family past the last century. this is unfortunately common in real life too, as women were not landowners etc, and without a marriage certificate they basically don’t show up on records. dc happily talk about the male line but not about the wives and daughters so :/

• the dates are fairly made up, and especially at the bottom are just me twisting things to fit my own personal canon

• and finally, i just wanted to say that while this is pieced together from what DC have told us, there are a lot of holes that i have filled with headcanons. not all of this is canon. sometimes i just want to give a person a cool life that dc are too cowardly to do.

so, although this varies by “earth”, i have tried to combine the various histories given for pre- and post-52 waynes into a full comprehensible timeline. i’ve probably failed, but this is what i’m sticking with.   

to start with we’re supposed to believe that there was a norse guy calling himself the Bat-Man, running around in the 10th century killing frost giants. is it plausible? yes. is it exaggerated? most definitely. am i wiping it from existence because it was one issue in a faintly terrible run that has technically been retconned anyway? absolutely. ignoring that makes the earliest recorded ancestor of the wayne family a man called gawayne de weyne, a french crusader in the 14th century. on some earths he’s called lancelot wayne (too on the nose) or harold wayne (thanks i hate it), so im personally going to retcon that and just say gawayne is it. also because i love the etymological aspect of the name beginning as de weyne in old high french and it slowly changing through out the centuries. gawayne, also sometimes written as gevain, was one of the knights sent to retrieve the holy grail, but, as knights tended to do, he died. sorry gawayne. the weirdest part about all of this is that he asked for his heart to be embalmed, and there’s a plot line revolving around this (batman: scottish connection). now i’m not saying that madness runs in the family, but the waynes absolutely do not get a good head start in history. 

gawayne must have had at least one surviving heir who goes on to have babies etc etc, and eventually we get to the 16th century, and the next instance of the waynes. specifically, contarf wayne. which, i have to say, super dumb name. if i ever have a kid, im calling it contarf. so it’s now the 1500s and the waynes have somehow become scottish, probably from getting given land after crusading and that. apparently gawayne was aknight of the scottish court, despite being french, which actually happened a lot back then. literally the only notable thing contarf does with his life is build castle wayne, and i swear these people are all born with both madness and a flair for the dramatic. yes at some point bruce does go to this gloomy scottish castle where it’s always rainy and stormy and fits right on in, so that’s terrifying.

around a hundred years later nathaniel wayne tries to emigrate across to the “new world”. nathaniel likes witchhunting, and has come over to what will one day be the US following a witch fleeing from england - annie. annie who he may have dated. annie who may be pregnant with his child. good on you nathaniel, that’s a healthy relationship you’ve got right there. after the baby is delivered, he finds her and. you know, people were not kind of witches back then, so she dies. and with her dying breath, curses nathaniel and all his descendants. which includes her OWN BABY (super punk move), and one day bruce wayne. this curse manifests in very few of the extant waynes surviving beyond 40, often going mad, and absolutely tuning on each other. nathaniel’s particular grisly end comes when his is the fateful colony that ends up in what-will-one-day-be-gotham (see my idiots guide to gotham for more juicy details), releasing the deacon blackfire from his little cave and ending up missing, presumed dead. (definitely dead). this is the start of the “waynes probably should avoid gotham” saga. spoiler alert - they don’t. 

somewhere in the interluding 100 years, a branch of the waynes do actually successfully make it over into the americas. 2 brothers, caleb and thomas simon wayne, reach the east coast from britain, and go their separate ways. caleb joins a convoy heading out west, leading a wagon train, and, as so many pioneers do, he also dies, while trying to make this trip. but caleb really isnt the interesting brother here (sorry man), because what thomas gets up to is far more exciting. he settles in, lo and behold, the newly formed town of gotham, and for some strange reason (probably because all the waynes are fairly nuts, as we’ve established at this point) decides to give devil-worshipping a go. maybe its fucking curse. maybe its something in the water. maybe its maybelline. but whatever it is, thomas wayne tries to summon and ensnare the demon barbatos by killing some innocents, in a wild, but understandable, attempt to gain immortality. he doesn’t succeed. or does he. it half works - instead of summoning the bat-demon (yes the same bat-demon that the founding fathers later summon and also trap beneath gotham) he gets one of darkseid’s hyper-dimensional bounty hunters, and some how, through some space age magic, the energy of this event corrupts him into agelessness/slowed ageing, we’re not totally sure. later dear old tom pops back up as the villainous dr simon hurt, and literally fights his own descendant. DC give no fucks. 

after the whole corrupting not-magic thing, but before he disappears, thomas/simon impregnates one of his cult’s disciples. a lot. (is this why the waynes can look 30 at 50? more on this at 10) and between 1747 and 1771 (because immortal people also have immortal sperm apparently), she bears him 3 sons. probably some daughters too but again, who cares about that. not DC, that’s for damn sure. these sons are all absolutely fucking insane, just like daddy dearest. the eldest, who is LITERALLY known as “mad” anthony wayne, is said to be the spitting image of bruce, which is confirmed through some time travelling bs that we’re not going to think about. anthony and horatio wayne, the middle brother, both sign up to fight in the revolutionary war. unfortunately THE CURSE STRIKES AGAIN and horatio perishes while burning british ships. anthony goes on to becomes a brigadier general, serving directly under george washington and pulls some crazy good strategies that help to kick the british out of new jersey, earning his nickname of “mad” anthony, because only someone fucking nuts could come up with these plans, and pull them off. the youngest brother darius wayne is only 4 when the war breaks out, and is therefore too Babey to fight, but does later become notable for being the man to start construction on wayne manor. in 1795, using the money inherited from his brother horatio on his death, he hires an architect nathan van derm, to begin planning and building. sadly darius will never see it completed, with funds dwindling and his older brother’s death, eventually darius takes his own life. 

not to worry, he leaves behind 2 sons - herkimer and charles wayne. literally herkimer’s only notable feature is that he fights in the war of 1812. sorry my guy, DC hate you. charles, on the other hand, is a businessman, who manages the failing company his father had left behind and starts to grow the wayne fortune. charles buys more land surrounding the manor, as well as a lot of general gotham real estate, and is the man accrediting for starting wayne enterprises as a series of several small business, ranging from merchant trading to land ownership to mining, in 1845. however charlie contracts tuberculosis at the ripe old age of 62 and shuffles off the mortal coil. 

the oldest of his sons, charles lincoln wayne, also known as charles junior, does 2 things - begins construction on the wayne manor again in 1855 after purchasing it back from jerome k. van derm, the destitute son of the original architect, who had been living in the bones of the construcion, and uses a considerable portion of his inheritance to build the gotham botanical gardens in 1870. the next son, winslow wayne, is another enigma - the only thing mentioned about him in the comics is that he fought alongside teddy roosevelt, which i’m guessing is in the spanish-american war. but the youngest two brothers, joshua thomas and solomon zebadiah wayne are the real spicy pair. not only do they tackle the bat infestation on the manor grounds, but the pair work to change the federal system of america - joshua, when he’s not managing the wayne companies, is an abolitionist who engages in secret missions to free slaves by getting them across the border into canada, and solomon, the vaguely more sensible of the two, becomes a judge, attempting to be as fair and incorruptible as possible. sadly joshua is killed due to his slave smuggling antics (THE CURRSSEE), and this sends solomon slightly nuts, and causes him to contract the architect cyrus pinkney, who is even more nuts, to basically. build gotham. these two men are the reason 97% of buildings have gargoyles on them. 

solomon has only 1 child before he dies, who fortunately, grows up to be a very shrewd businessman capable of growing wayne ent even through with the advent of shipping and rail sectors. this man, alan wayne, constructs the original wayne tower in 1888, and it completely swamps the gotham skyline. he also marries catherine van derm, the great granddaughter of the original architect of wayne manor, and finally manage to complete and move in to the building in 1895, exactly 100 years after the project was started. for a while they are very happy, and catherine falls pregnant. but this darn curse just won’t leave these wayne boys alone, and in 1897, catherine dies giving birth to their son, kenneth wayne. a year later, lost and traumatised and going insane thinking about his wife’s death alan wayne mysteriously disappears (read as: fell down a well and was maybe or maybe not tortured and killed by the court of owls). 

kenneth wayne, raised as virtually an orphan, turns out to have his papa’s business management skills, and, foreseeing america's impending industrialisation in the 20s and 30s, makes some risky moves that pay off, including the advent of wayne chemicals, and wayne ent expands yet again. kenneth, like the recurring pattern that you can see here, dies fairly early due to WW2 however, leaving his wife laura to care for their 4 sons AND the company, which she does like a boss ass bitch. seriously, women barely had the vote and she was already a titan of industry and raising 4 teenage boys like. massive props to you babe. these boys are

ishmael wayne, a whaler who is an incredible parody of captain ahab and also dies trying to catch a white whale, elwood wayne, who goes and reclaims what is now called waynemoor castle in scotland, living there until his death, silas wayne, who may or may not be a thief posing as a wayne because the real silas died, AND at long last, patrick wayne - bruce’s granpappy, who founded the wayne tech arm of the company at 20 years old, aiding the war effort, and where this stupidly long post ends, because there is 0 point in me recounting the lives of thomas, bruce, or any of his children. everyone knows them. could i write more about thomas’ siblings and the kanes and how they tie in? yes. but this post is like 2100 words long and i want to sleep at some point today so this will have to do askjdbjsdhgf

[shortywiththebuttons]

This bouta be one long ass typo filled vent.

First and and foremost I just added HELLA people specifically People from my African diaspora on this. I’ve had it since high school so 2010 I’m in University now . nice to meet you all 🤷🏿‍♀️✊🏿😝 my name is Ro . I’m super open to conversation questions whatever.

I added mad people because I organize ,politically im no pro or anything,I don’t even know what I’m doing 1/2 the time I just do what’s in my heart and he’ll I guess every small step I make makes a difference.

I’m currently in the process of getting a sexual assault resource center built in Isla Vista California which is an unincorporated area behind the University of California Santa Barbara ...I want all contractors to be from marganilized backgrounds and ultimately I’m gonna have this project be a community collective.itll be a long term project and it’s currently in the beginning stages and the meetings are going well but given I attend a PWI I’d like outside support and more energy from my people to continuously push for this to be created . Scrolling my page you’ll kinda see the shit I’ve been dealing with and where this comes from. However I’m currently slowing down THIS video BELOW ...making it onger and more detailed

https://youtu.be/c-yKepzDwzY

But editing is depressing triggering and frustrating and I’m on some Kevin gates Aint shit gone make me sad today type stuff so it’s not going well. I currently just need to add audio to the lengthened version and I’ll be fine to share it.. But audio means watching it and choosing a song and perfect timing so yeah...I hate reliving the stuff .but eh I hope you like the video I’ll post the update ASAP . I actually move out of CA soon APRIL so it’ll be before I leave to embark on this random traveling experience I have planned 👌🏿🙆🏿‍♀️

My main goal socially is to be as real and open as possible up until around May 2017 I was mad timid to speak up but once the shit happened it just did .

(I was drugged and raped by someone who knew me and was invited over and nah he wasn’t white he was in our diaspora. Despite being on video drugging me ,admitting I wasn’t conscious during his acts and all this other sick shit that is in the video posted as well as the slowed down version...Santa Barbara did not TOUCH THIS SICK FUCK . Specifically he lived on the same street as the foot patrol and they never even went to question him . Never went over evidence so never caught the drugging I had to analyze my own evidence see my drugging send it in turn in all physical evidence myself because she never went to the crime scene and some more dumb shot . He’s on surveillance pushing me into my house because I can’t move and he’s also on surveillance attempting to touch me and I fight back . He admits I bit him in resistance and bleh I’m getting trigger ...well look they had all of this PLUS WAY MORE evidence and nothing 🤷🏿‍♀️ .. the gag is until I had a sit in months after my rape we FINALLY got a sexual assault detective on Isla Vista ..THIS MEANS WE NEVER HAD ONE THEREFORE THE PERSON WHO WAS ON MY CASE WAS NOT A DETECTIVE TRAINED IN SEXUAL ASSAULTS. That’s why he did shit ass backwards and didn’t get evidence or blah blah . He did a pretext for a confession and still didn’t make an arrest or attempt to question this rapist . So I had to go public . 😒

The system did me even grimier and in addition so did the African men I spent a lot of my time around before this incident who just happened to be the idiot rapists housemates . The story is actually pretty sick.

Like niggas was like” we weren’t really friends like that “ “you just met is” and some more shit ,but drove or rode in my car got they hair done by me niggas cooked together went wherever niggas dead ass all ran together the only difference was I’m a female and I was the one who was drugged and raped . Lol I knew that house a good 5 months . And when you serving 4 years in college that’s a long time especially when y’all all seeing one another tops 5 days a week . But it’s cool lol I swear that shit happened and fucked my mind up for a while . Until I got over the fact that Im a protector , I’m used to protecting people . Even after being raped I tried to protect this individual from the system but seeing myself be drugged in my house as someone sickly plots and has all the sickest reasons as to why ..

I had Inglewood out there and we ain’t lay a finger on ANYONE and EVERYONE WAS HOME and available but I wasn’t trying to see anything happen .protector ...some call it dumb ... but honestly any reaction that would’ve deviated from what I did up to now would chance my current circumstance ...and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fine RN. 🤷🏿‍♀️ ptsd depression here and there but honestly IVE BEEN KICKINGASS , saving and changing lives as well as I don’t have any fuck people around me . It’s so easy for me to cut people off now and keep people I feel ANY KINDOF way about away from me ...and I’m more open basically I PROTECT ME MORE AND ...that’s what’s great for me ...so I needed it all to get where I am so eh.

A: I don’t forgive or have any care for the person who drugged and raped me . That’s the only place I didn’t grow . People say I should work on that ...I literally have dreams of killing him though so eh🤷🏿‍♀️ it’s the whole premeditated buying a drug putting it in a drink and handing it to me at the specific time I was distracted and the entire plot really . Walking me in public drugged to make you seem like a saviors and saying you noticed it hit 😒 staying after raping me , like moving my body from a living room to my room like dragging me or whatever the fuck you dieting afterward and only moving after I post the video publicly like you really wanted to live your life regular as a rapist after attempting to ruin mine . In all honesty as you said your first thought was you thought the drug was going to alter my feeling for you and make me like you ..it only knocked me unconscious and inhabited my brain from having any memory and you stilllllll decided to be sick . .

-the best thing for me is I have no memory of being raped , I don’t even have a memory of me leaving the house only waking up and asking all the questions I had getting the answers I needed and reporting so that’s why I’m so open about it ....it hits a sensitive spot as far as anger and disgust but I would literally be dead if I was conscious or aware of the encounter .

Alll of that I added in the end it was the vent I guess .)

and yeah . Whatever so socially I’m tryna educate Africans not to feel obligated to be a savior but to look out when shit like this happens. Because not reacting not doing anything and really any thing else

I never asked anyone to pick sides , never asked anyone for help. But acting like you ain’t know someone you seen on a daily and being fearful or whatever it’s not and never was that deep. I don’t see how anyone has a mother and can let or be aiight with shit like this happeneing and not be proactive .

But I’m alive you’ll see from my blog that worse shit has happened since then and even before . so I focus my pain elsewhere and my energy into activism and advocacy. Shit no one handed to me when I needed t most ✊🏿☝🏿

http://endrapeoncampus.org/centering-the-margins

Here’s my story

http://www.theburningspear.com/2017/12/RoShawndra-VS-the-University-of-California-Santa-Barbara

It’s also more stories about whatever white people wanna say about me in Santa Barbara newspapers and my case and what I’m doing , but this is the one I approve of because it was written in the Burning spear and this is such a monumental and important news paper in our community so yeah.✊🏿❤️ I really love US.

Periodically I post videos call campaigns calls to join political organizations (that are grassroot orgs and funded by our people) and yeah that’s basically my public professional appeal. I use a lot of profanity idk why but yeah I curse like a sailor I was introduced to grown folk conversations at a young age cursing was apart of my male dominated upbringing so 🤷🏿‍♀️ shiiiit I just curse a lot from time to time .

I’m a member of the African National Women’s org. Or ANWO and we’re an organization that was created by request less than half a decade ago to bring African women into the political atmosphere. Our one goal is FREEDOM . UHURU to any comrades or future comrades reading this , I hope in your daily struggles you see the symptoms of colonialism and mobilize to dismantle this colonial system .

I have NOT AND DONT PLAN on watching black panther . It’s not apart of my agenda rn but If my job requires me to take my residents to the movies it’ll probably happen ...I’ll get to the job stuff later. . Basically from my current understanding the villain in the film had “political views” similar to Malcolm or Huey or Marcus Garvey and it should be known by us ALL THAT THESE MEN WERE ONLY AEEN AS VILLIANS HISTORICALLY BY WHITE SUPREMACIST AND COLONIZERS AS WELL AS THOSE COLONIZED PEOPLE WHO REFUSED TO RESIST ...so I’m not spending a dry penny or sitting in a theatre to watch some bull shit . Wakanda must fall dear . THERE is no freedom in a colonial system and we can’t move with our colonizers PERIOD. We have been tricked throughout history into being complacent and waiting on an European created GOD to come save us and give us our Paradise in death. Therefore we accept what we shouldn’t and given I’m not about to be apart of that complacent movement ...(ps I’m a religious studies major) I decide I’m going to struggle and win. Period ✊🏿

https://youtu.be/LIQioGRD1Sw

White folks need to pay reparations so yeah share this link also if you don’t mind

https://www.uhurusolidarity.org/

White solidarity with black power 💕

Some talks/events I’ve participated in or held

https://www.pscp.tv/w/bVfPFDFQWEVkbWVCWU9iUWV8MWRqeFhkZ2RiUEx4WpjQiVNCw8SGGbKJP7IkRiwM1SuoQnT-Oar94sFnraqo

https://www.pscp.tv/w/bVfPjzFQWEVkbWVCWU9iUWV8MVJER2xuVkVhbWd4TBAgTafg3086N-ST4efXtgBbzFU6VOSI9yuHJ4V1dmE8

https://www.pscp.tv/w/bVfPzTFQWEVkbWVCWU9iUWV8MW5BS0VXblZNUmxKTClihPl8eVewKBG7TwSC2FcIZkc0BiJcYgkAkLrQX_7Z