#i know it sounds insane to let a game COMPLETELY change my outlook on life but. oh my god ive bever had an experience like that

[risingsunresistance]

my aunt's sunflowers finally bloomed but. well im no expert but they look like they could use some work kdhfjhd. it's been raining way too much and the heat has been insane so maybe that has something to do with their skinny petals. it's her first time trying to grow flowers on her own tho, she's so happy they bloomed :]

here's some more flowers from her house, just bc they're pretty and i wanna share

this one was just wild up in the hills :0

[nocturne-inuyasha-ff]

Chapter Sixteen: On the Edge of Forever

Author's Notes: Thanks for hanging in there. Keep in mind while reading that most of the scene changes are different narrators and the narrators are not always what you would call "reliable." Meaning, that we only see what they see or hear or think, so the reader may not ever see what's really going on.

Happy reading!

Nocturne - Chapter Sixteen: On the Edge of Forever

Rated - M (for suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, and coarse language)

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru had the audacity to look confused - his one brow risen higher than the other. "This one assumed you might desire a moment to collect yourself after an arduous journey."

Kagome set her jaw, and she almost began tapping her foot in annoyance. "No, I want to see Setsuna and make certain she is well."

"The child was well when I last saw her."

"You saw her? When?" He'd made no mention of it on the trip over, which was flabbergasting to her. "Why wouldn't you tell me that?!" she demanded.

"It was unnecessary," he began before Kagome cut him off.

"Unnecessary?! You fool, it is never unnecessary to tell a mother the wellbeing of her child!" her anger seemed to be falling on deaf ears. "What if our positions had been reversed?"

"That is preposterous. I would have never allowed myself to be taken."

Kagome groaned. "No! That's not what I meant. What if something had happened to Setsuna? Would you have wanted to know?"

"It would have made no difference."

So, he didn't care. A part of Kagome was furious while the other felt numb from his admission. "I see," she responded. "Thank you for returning me home."

Kagome strode past him and out the door to begin the walk towards the village. She could only assume that Setsuna had been left in the care of her friends. So, that was now her destination.

Sesshomaru had not bothered to stop her. Whatever his intentions were with bringing her here, where everyone was not, were as mysterious as ever.

Kagome felt overcome with emotion and unsure of which one she wanted to address first, her anger, or her misery. Anger would likely fuel her longer, so she picked up that mantle until she could decompress later. She felt foolish to think that anything occurred from the point of their first joining until now would change the way the demon lord perceived her.

Sesshomaru stepped in front of her, breaking her out of her reverie. Kagome had honestly expected him to leave after dropping her off.

"Where are you going," he asked.

"What do you want from me?" she demanded.

"It would be astute for you to collect any possession you deem worthwhile," he explained.

Kagome crossed her arms. "Why would I do that?"

"It is not safe," he answered.

"Not safe?" she repeated incredulously. "And why may that be? Because I am human and incapable of protecting myself?"

His golden eyes narrowed at her, but he remained silent for the moment, knowing she likely had more to say.

"You've already killed Fan, from what else do you need to keep me safe? I haven't needed your protection before all this, and I don't need it now," she admonished.

Sesshomaru's brow piqued, "What leads you to believe that Fan Tsenpo is dead?"

"I saw you kill him," she said almost hesitantly, now beginning to doubt herself. Why was Sesshmaru stating otherwise? Her eyes had not deceived her.

"One would be a fool to kill Fan outright. His clan must be dealt with delicately. To murder one of their own in such a fashion would be considered dishonorable; and an action of the greatest offense. They would then hunt this one down without hesitation." He stated this matter-of-factly as if it were insane to suggest otherwise.

"I merely immobilized him for the time being to afford us the ability to escape."

"So...he's still…" she trailed off.

"Correct, wounded, but alive. It will likely take Fan some time to recuperate, but when he has recovered, it would be prudent to expect retaliation of some form."

"Oh, Kami." Fear enveloped her. If Fan were alive, that would mean he could come after her again, or more likely, Setsuna. Kagome shook her head, trying to shake evil images from her mind. "It was all too easy," she lamented.

"Indeed. Fan miscalculated your abilities, and I took advantage of his misconception to escape."

"So, you knew he would tell me to kill you?" she asked dubiously.

He gave her a stern look until his right lip pulled into a small smirk. "Fan did not get the idea on his own. His penchant for collecting oddities turned out to be his folly."

Kagome balled her fists in mock anger, "Don't get cocky! He could have killed me!"

"No harm would have befallen you."

The arrogant ass! "How presumptive of you, risking our lives based on what I can only assume to be a wild hunch!"

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle," Sesshomaru quoted.

"Wait, are you quoting a...a book? You realize that particular tome was written by a human, right?"

Sesshomaru made a 'hnn' sound. "I may have held disdain for mortals, but I am not so naive as to overlook the wisdom of those I may presume as weaker. Humans have not progressed this far by chance. They lack power, agility, and longevity, but some makeup for that in cunning. "

"Wow, Lord Sesshomaru, I am...speechless," Kagome said. She cocked her head to the side, studying him in a different light.

A small smile formed on his lips, "I find that to be unbelievable." His smile quickly dropped, and he looked past her and towards her little house. "Now, back to the matter at hand. It is recommended you find what you need presently or leave it."

Kagome reflexively turned her head to the house and back, "What? I'm not leaving. I am not going to run and hide. My friends are here, and they may be in harm's way because of me. No. I am staying."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "Miko, there are many preparations to be done and an unknown time to complete them. If you plan to risk your own life, I will not compel you to accompany me, but the same cannot be said for all those involved."

Why was he so wishy-washy, instructing her to come and then backing off. "Of course, you wouldn't. Just go then!" she demanded.

He did not move. Perhaps his words were empty, and he was trying to use reverse psychology to get Kagome to leave with him.

Kagome broke, her words quiet and venerable. "Please just go. This is already hard as it is. I can't keep playing this game anyway. Don't worry about us. We will be fine. I've been through worse."

"I cannot help but worry," he admitted.

"Why?" If he would even admit that much.

He reached out and ran his hands through the strands of her hair in a thoughtful gesture. "This one knows the miko can care for herself. That I do not question."

She grabbed his hand to stop the simple caress but did not let go. "Then why is it important that I come with you?"

"To leave you and the child would be dishonorable."

She closed her eyes and held her breath. "I release you from your burden. Go forth and be free from us."

He still did not move, "You are making this difficult."

"Good, because you have made my life difficult!" she bit out. "As if things weren't already hard enough for me. Now I have to deal with my feelings for you," she blurted before stopping herself. Damn.

"What feelings?" he demanded.

She spun away, having said too much. Looking at him was enough to push her over the edge, and she had to be strong.

Sesshomaru would not allow her to leave with his question unanswered and grabbed her, pulling her into his chest. His arm wrapped around her so that she could not pull free. His head leaned down to her ear, allowing some of his silver locks to cover her shoulder. His lips were close enough to graze her ear, but his words were soft. "Speak, woman. You hold your tongue no other time."

Resisting was futile, and she could feel herself melting into his chest. "I...think...I…" her words trembled upon her lips, "may love you..." The last three words came out as a whisper, but Kagome knew he heard them.

"What a fool I am. Now, please go." She turned her head away from him as much as she could. Anything to break the spell under which she was falling.

Sesshomaru would not let her go, and his voice was hard with his monosyllabic reply. "Why?"

"Why what?" she repeated with fear.

He turned his head closer to hers, "Would you think those feelings would make you a fool?" His words seemed to hold anger in them.

Kagome sighed, "Because I am human, and even if you were to return my feelings or pretend to care, I am just a blink in your life. I cannot give you what you need or deserve, and it would be selfish of me to ask."

He released her, his arm falling away, and Kagome was able to step back and turn to see him. His eyes were soft, but his lips set into a hard line. "I liken you to many things, but never a fool."

"Then, perhaps, I am overzealous."

"You have never aspired to be more than you are, and I would never ask that of you."

Kagome closed her eyes, set upon her chosen path, "Then it's agreed."

His words cut through her. "You are trying to corner me into your narrow outlook."

Her eyes snapped open, and she asked almost hopelessly, afraid to hear his words. "Then what do you want?"

"You."

"Why?" she lamented.

"You anger me."

Kagome nearly laughed in derision. "I anger a lot of people."

Sesshomaru raised his voice over her own. "You also give me pause. I've never understood my father's inclinations until now."

He stepped close to her again, trying to use his vicinity to express his words. "How a human could intrigue me, push me, plague me."

He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek, and she did not stop him. "You infiltrate my every thought, and it drives me mad. The idea of losing you is a pain insurmountable."

Tears spilled down her cheeks. "I can't love you. It's...it is not fair to you. Please... don't say these things to me."

He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears, his other hand gently grasping her face. "Kagome, do not deny yourself. Least of all to me."

The weight of his words was not lost on her. In memory, she'd not once recalled him using her name. She had to harden her heart.

He tenderly tilted her chin and possessed her lips with his own. Warmth spread through her like wildfire, and she fought an urge to pull him closer so as to melt into his body. His hands never left her face as he waited for her to signal to him that there was more to be had. She longed for it to deepen, but pulled away before she allowed it to go too far.

"No," she pleaded, turning away from him. "I must-must... Please go."

He left quietly and swiftly, to where she did not know. It was for the best, she assured herself.

o - o - o - o - o

He departed expediently. Any more time spent in her presence would have had a different outcome, one that she may not likely desire, but he did.

Sesshomaru had never met such an intoxicating and infuriating person. In a different time, he would have reacted differently, or not at all.

Like his brow, he set his course and made haste. It was only a moment before he alighted outside the Houshi's home. He could sense that the taijiya was inside, alone, aside from the presence of his young child.

Without waiting for an invitation, he walked in. Sitting next to a hearth, the woman stirred a pot with her free hand. The infant was slumbering next to her.

The woman looked startled at his abrupt appearance, abandoning her meal preparations, "Lord Sesshomaru!"

He stepped before her, "I've come to retrieve the child."

She seemed confused, looking down at the baby. "What about Kagome?!" His arrival without the child's mother seemed to unbalance her.

Sesshomaru had no time for this, "She is safe."

The taijiya grabbed the infant up and stood up. She was right to feel uneasy but also had no reason not to relinquish the baby to its father. The woman carefully placed the sleeping child into her father's waiting arms.

He stared down at the child, who was gaining size with speed. Her hair had grown even longer, curling in fine strands around her head.

"Fetch Rin," he commanded, looking back up to the taijiya.

"Is something wrong, Lord Sesshomaru?" the woman asked with concern. She looked over to a corner of the room where her gear and weaponry leaned against a wall, ready for use.

Not answering her question, Sesshomaru changed the subject. "You have called for your brother, as I suggested?"

"Uh, yes. He has arrived. I think Rin is with him."

He felt a twinge of anger at the suggestion. Rin was of marriageable age, and it was preposterous for her to be alone with a male, even one he was acquainted with and had been a traveling companion. "Accompanied by who?"

"Miroku and the children," she responded hesitantly.

That, alone, did not mollify him, but he would deal with it soon enough. "My gratitude for keeping Setsuna safe. I will send word to you with instructions."

"Instructions for what?" she called after him.

He left without another word, leaving her question heavy in the air. The miko's human companions were much too wordy than was prudent. There was no time to answer constant questions.

o - o - o - o - o

Sesshomaru followed his nose the rest of the way through the village to find Rin. He located her in a clearing at the edge of the village. She appeared to be conversing with a young woman. Upon further inspection, Sesshomaru was unable to locate the houshi, nor his brood and his irk rose towards the taijiya for her false words.

There were many people in the clearing, most carrying belongings and supplies, looking as though they had just arrived from a long journey or were displaced settlers bearing all they owned. He noticed the now grown Kohaku among them calling out instructions.

Sesshomaru's arrival caused a hush among the group who all immediately began to arm themselves with varying weaponry. He glared at them all, daring anyone to attack.

Kohaku noticed the disturbance and lifted a hand, instructing the people to lower their weaponry, but many continued to give Sesshomaru defiant looks. The young man ran over towards Sesshomaru with a wary smile.

"Lord Sesshomaru, it is good to see you well. My sister sent word to me, expressing distress, and asked that I come quickly. When I learned that the suggestion came from you, I thought it provident to bring a team." Kohaku gestured to his people, still giving Sesshomaru wary, sidelong glances.

Rin had taken the opportunity to approach and smiled broadly. "Lord Sesshomaru! You have returned, which must mean that you bring Lady Kagome as well." She saw the child, now awake and alert, in his arm. Rin looked around, trying to find Kagome, and then back to Sesshomaru. "She is not here?"

Sesshomaru ignored her question. "With your mortal caretaker dead, I wanted to ensure that you are provided for." He looked around again and back at Rin. "I will soon be away from here."

Still smiling, Rin cooed at the baby and placed a finger inside the child's grasping hand. "I am happy here, my lord," she said cautiously. Glancing up, she said slowly, "I only worry about you."

Sesshomaru noticed from the corner of his eye Kohaku staring at the girl with a particular fondness in his gaze. He figured that young Rin could do worse than the thoughtful taijiya. She may undoubtedly need his care in the time to come.

Satisfied that Rin would not be left wanting, he issued a brief goodbye. "Be well, Rin."

Rin grabbed his arm, a look of concern drawing down her features. "Where is Kagome?" she asked again.

"You may tell her I will be waiting."

"Of course," Rin replied obediently. She still seemed perturbed over the turn of events, but would not question Sesshomaru.

He bid a final farewell to the pair and departed on a swift wind.

In-flight, he looked down at the child in his arms. She sat up and looked around in marvel, never having seen the world from this vantage. Her dark eyes alight with a quiet wonder. Those were the eyes of her mother, he knew. This was the only way to get her to see.

o - o - o - o - o

Kagome stepped inside her house again, for what she was unsure. Everything was exactly as she had left it, except for a layer of dust beginning to form. Funny how dust began to move in the moment that you stopped paying attention.

She sighed at all of the work she would have to do and nearly debated on taking care of things now rather than doing them later with a child to care for.

Her desire to be reunited with Setsuna was too great. Kagome exited the house and looked around. A shaky breath escaped her, and she chided herself for thinking that he would be here. Not after she ran him off. She left the house and set down the path towards the village.

She had gotten a mile barely before she was pulled from her thoughts.

"Oi! Kagome!" A familiar voice called out.

Kagome turned on her heel. Only one person she knew would address her like that.

Inuyasha ran up to her, pulling her into a friendly embrace. "You're okay!"

"Ungh, not if you don't crush me first," she joked.

"Eh? Sorry." He released her quickly and took an awkward step back. "I, uh, I'm sorry you were kidnapped...again."

Kagome bit her lip and smirked. "There's nothing to apologize for. You saved Setsuna, and that's all I could have ever asked."

"I was gonna come and save you, too, but it seems Sesshomaru beat me to it. Where is he anyway? Surprisingly he isn't here threatening to kick my ass again."

"He's gone. I don't know where to."

"Oh."

There was an awkward silence. "So, you were going to come to save me, huh? Like old times? How did that pan out?"

Inuyasha scratched at his head, seemingly embarrassed, "Yeah, well, once Sesshomaru came and threatened everyone, we decided to come up with an alternate plan."

"Threatened you?" She asked.

"Well, yeah, he came here hours after you were taken and apparently told Sango to get her brother here. He basically implied shit was gonna go down."

"I see," she responded, thinking to herself.

"I guess that means he didn't kill that bitch or her badass brother, huh?"

Kagome's head snapped up, and her heart dropped. The danger was only gone for the moment with no indication of when it was to return. "No, unfortunately not."

"Keh, fucking figures. He drags you and the kid into this, and now he's bringing everyone else into his fucking mess, too. Then he takes off?"

"Likely to prepare," Kagome defended. "He was able to seriously wound Fan, and any counter-attack will not be immediate."

"Nah. Probably when we least expect it. He's a sick fuck that one."

"What do you know of him?" She asked suspiciously.

"A little."

"You've never even met him. How can you possibly know anything at all?"

"I uh…" he trailed off, and he looked behind her.

Kagome caught his glance and spun around to see a woman peeking out at her from behind a tree. "Who is that, Inuyasha?"

"That's um…" he stammered, "It's Shizuka."

"Shizuka?" Kagome asked, looking at the tree the woman seemed to be hiding behind. "Why is she hiding? Who is she?"

"Don't get mad."

"Why would I get mad, Inuyasha?" she inquired the guilty-looking hanyo.

He scratched at his head and looked up as he spoke, avoiding her stare, "Because she...she may or may not have been the one who snatched the kid."

"What," she responded in monotone.

When it seemed Kagome wouldn't blow up, Inuyasha called out, "Come on over."

Kagome seethed with anger at the fool before her. She stood silent while Inuyasha led a hesitant hanyo woman out towards her.

Her first inclination had been to lash out, but upon further inspection, Kagome instantly felt a surge of pity.

The woman was an inuyokai, just like Inuyasha. Her ears were turned down like she was a beaten dog, and she trembled so like a frightened animal. Inuyasha took hold of her hand and patted it reassuringly. "This is Kagome. She won't hurt you."

Kagome glared at him, but he was oblivious to her poignant stare. He only had eyes for this timid woman. The idiot would dare attempt to pass off this woman as some kind of ally? Yet, Kagome could feel that there was nothing nefarious about her. Strange that she couldn't pick up anything at all, no sense of her yoki, nothing.

The woman glanced up, hesitantly, and back down. She began to tug on Inuyasha's arm, trying to pull away. Something about the way Kagome stared at her, causing her to feel discomfort.

"You're frightening her," Inuyasha pointed out. "Don't be such a bitch. It ain't Shizuka s fault."

"Are you serious right now! I haven't said one cross word as of yet! Maybe you are scaring her by pushing her into situations she's uncomfortable with."

Inuyasha snapped back, "Maybe she can see your dagger eyes!"

"So immature," Kagome groaned.

"Such a stuck up whiny bitch," he snapped.

Kagome frowned. "I am not whiny. I know what I want. It's different."

Inuyasha scoffed, "Keh. Oh yeah? Then why are you alone again?"

Kagome gasped. "How dare you! I am alone because I have chosen to be alone."

"Lie to yourself, wench, but you can't lie to me. I know you too well."

Kagome thought that may be true to a point, but he was wrong about his opinion of her.

Shizuka looked supremely uncomfortable but said nothing. Kagome sniffed in derision, turning her attention to the newcomer.

"So, explain to me why she is sharing your company, and I shouldn't want to hurt her if she tried to steal my baby," she demanded.

o - o - o - o - o

Inuyasha explained on the way towards the village. He told Kagome how Shizuka had been a slave to Tsering and used for everything from a handmaiden to a spy. They did not even know her real name, instead, giving her a new one.

How he had extracted all this information from a girl who was clearly mute was beyond her. Still, she gave this stranger the benefit of the doubt because Inuyasha assured her that Sango and Miroku would collaborate the story.

Kagome was skeptical but also hesitant to doubt her friend's astute judgment. It would be best to keep this woman as far away from her babe as possible, just to be safe, she thought.

Inuyasha explained that a lot had happened in the weeks she was gone. Kohaku had arrived, bringing with him his entire clan of taijiya. The lad was doing his best to rebuild that which he had taken away. His guilt was something he would battle for years, if not the rest of his life. Survivors guilt at its worst, Kagome knew.

Apparently, Sango's summons prompted Kohaku to bring his foundling people to the village to settle. The old taijiya village was gone, decimated by an old enemy, its inhabitants eradicated except for two. Kohaku dreamed of making amends due to his guilt and began by recruiting worthy apprentices and others experienced in exterminating demons.

With the village seeming to attract yokai of all kinds, it seemed an appropriate place to settle and begin anew. Of course, many of the people Kohaku had recruited held a deep-seated hatred for yokai, no matter their affiliations, and found themselves unsettled by some of the village's inhabitants.

None of that seemed to bother Inuyasha. He held the woman's hand as they walked, occasionally running a thumb over her hand for reassurance purposes. Kagome felt an odd sense of jealousy wash over her when she noticed. She narrowed her eyes at the display and quickly turned her head before the lout could pick up on her mood. Kagome cursed herself for those twinges of envy. It's not as if she even wanted Inuyasha like that. Not anymore.

He had seldom been so tender and patient with her during their time together. Both of their stubborn tendencies clashed and caused many fights. Now, Kagome could see that what he truly needed to thrive would be someone demure. Someone who needed the protection he could provide. Someone to validate him after years of being nothing.

Kagome now knew that she was never the one for him, and it stung to see him look happy over someone that was a virtual stranger in comparison to their years-old relationship. She felt her throat catch thinking about her own happiness or rather lack thereof.

It just didn't seem fair that Kagome had left her family and her entire life to come to the past for a boy that now seemed enthralled with someone else. She tried to discreetly clear her throat without drawing too much attention to herself.

"What's your deal?" Inuyasha asked skeptically.

Kagome noticed that he had an eyebrow raised and likely wouldn't be convinced by whatever she said. "I just miss her," she said quietly. That was true, and he wouldn't question her. She hoped.

His eyes suggested he had his doubts, but he didn't push the subject, instead, going along with her. "Yeah, well, she's a brat. Just like her mom." His friendly smile trying to console her.

Kagome nodded and glanced over at the new woman being led along quietly by Inuyasha's side. She had not gotten a very good look at the woman and thought she saw some similarities to another. Odd similarities. The tilt of her eyes, even downcast as they were, held some disturbing familiarity. Kagome shook her head of the thoughts, clearing her mind of such notions.

Inuyasha stopped, and Shizuka tensed, hiding behind him. Kagome was puzzled at their hesitation but felt it herself and followed their eyes up. Up in the sky, there was a figure being swallowed in the clouds settling over the land. It was a queer sensation to have her heart drop lower into her chest than it had already done not long ago.

Did I make the right decision, she pondered, looking back at the pair whose eyes were still glued to the sky.

"Bastard is leaving again. Good fucking riddance," Inuyasha cursed. "He always rattles on about pride and honor, but be is a fucking hypocrite."

Kagome didn't respond, preferring to chew on her lip. For a second, she thought he'd come back for her. Not that it would change her mind. The idea of being an aging liability seemed unfeasible.

Inuyasha scoffed. "You're better off. Maybe one of the new guys that Kohaku brought would suit you," he suggested.

If looks could kill, Inuyasha would be 6 feet under. The best Kagome could do was one. "Sit, boy!" She commanded.

The beads around his neck glowed, and his face planted into the ground with a satisfying sound. Shizuka looked at Kagome with a mixture of perplexion and horror, eliminating any amount of satisfaction Kagome would get from the deed.

"He deserved it!" She defended against her wordless accuser. "He will be fine," she waved a hand.

Inuyasha lifted himself from the ground spitting dirt, "Dammit, wench! Don't fucking do that!"

Kagome grabbed Inuyasha by his beads, pulling his neck down and looked at Shizuka. "Beads of subjugation," she explained. "If he ever gives you any trouble, let me know, and I will bring him down a few notches."

Shizuka continued to look horrified, emphasizing her fright by taking a step back from Kagome.

Kagome frowned and let Inuyasha go. He growled and rubbed his neck, muttering obscenities. He grabbed Shizuka's hand and marched off with her, leaving Kagome behind.

She sighed and followed.

The village was just a few yards away, and the trio made their way to Miroku and Sango's house.

Upon entering, Kagome was greeted with smiles and tight hugs from her best friend. Sango hiccuped, stifling a happy sob. "We were all so worried, but when Sesshomaru came, I knew you were okay."

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked. How had Sango seen Sesshomaru already? "Did he come here?"

Sango's eyes went wide with apprehension. "He did…"

Kagome looked around, noting the absence of her child, "Where's Setsuna?"

"He didn't bring her to you?" Sango questioned.

"Clearly not!" Kagome felt the blood drain from her face and turned to bolt from the door. Inuyasha stood with Shizuka in the doorway, speechless, and Kagome shouldered past him to get outside. He protested loudly, "Hey!"

Kagome ran outside, not knowing where to go or what to do. She could feel her adrenaline start to course as she stopped and looked in any direction. People were coming and going, working through their daily chores and errands, some looking at her strangely as she stood panting and looking around frantically.

Without having a set course in mind, she began running blindly, looking for anything. She could hear her name being shouted from behind her. "Kagome! Wait!"

She ignored whoever called, dashing through women who were running errands, children who were playing, and men returning from the day spent hunting and gathering. Kagome had a one-track mind at this moment where her instincts led her rather than her rationale.

Another voice broke through her, "Kagome?!"

She didn't stop running, but a pair of strong arms grabbed her and pulled her off her feet. "What's wrong?" she heard a frantic voice call out.

Kagome was able to see Rin standing in front of her, concern marring her features. "Kagome, please calm down."

She wrestled against the hands that restrained her, trying to pull free. "Let go of me. I have to find her," she cried.

Rin grabbed Kagome's hands in her own. "Please, listen. Setsuna is not here. She is with Lord Sesshomaru."

"He took her?!" Kagome yelled. She settled and quit trying to break free, finally noticing who had grabbed her up. It had been quite a while since she'd seen the young man, Kohaku. He'd grown taller, more filled, and masculine in his slayer clothes. He also looked concerned while holding her from causing harm to herself or others.

"Yes, that is true," Rin said. She looked sad for Kagome like she felt pity for a child who didn't know the real way of the world. "He said to come," she said softly.

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked. "He said what?"

He allowed Kagome to go free, and she turned to look up at him in perplexion. Kohaku moved around to stand beside Rin.

"What are you saying?" Kagome asked. Come where she wondered.

Rin still held Kagome's hands and rubbed them in a soothing motion. "He wanted you to find them."

Kagome felt her heart fall. Now Setsuna was gone, too. Was it a punishment? Or was he using their child to bring her to him? Perhaps he did not find her capable of handling their child that would surely outlive her. "Find them?" she repeated softly. "Did he-was there anything else?"

"Yes, he said once you were ready, they would be waiting."

o - o - o - o - o

A/N: FYI, to any who may ask. No, Inuyasha isn't in insta-love with Keyuri/Shizuka. I'll just leave it at that.

Hmm, there will likely be some daddy-daughter moments in the chapter to come. That should be exciting.

Also, I know it seemed a bit anti-climatic that Fan bit the dust so easily. I mean, he's this hella strong yokai, right? Well, we've seen Sesshomaru lose an arm to his "weakling" brother, so I don't think it's a stretch to say that Fan overestimates himself a bit, or at the very least underestimates everyone else. I doubt he will make that mistake again.

[thebeauregardbros]

Can you tell me about Yakuza 0? I've never played it before and would like to read your thoughts on it.

YOOOOOOOOOOO LES FUKIN GO (thank u!!)

This review is spoiler-free!

Despite what you might assume a game about a bunch of tough muscley fighting dudes, the amount of moral philosophy in this game could rival a 3-part episode of Star Trek: TNG in terms of surprisingly deep and emotional thought. The struggles the protagonists go through has a huge emphasis on honor, keeping your word, taking responsibility for your actions, standing up to things you think are wrong and persevering no matter how much pain, suffering and threat you personally go through all in the name of trying to be a good person, and emphasizing that the mental fortitude to stand for your convictions is the true strength, not just brawn. Character development is absolutely fantastic and I feel like it’s impossible not to fall for these main characters by the end of the game, no matter how weird or even pigheaded they might seem to you at first.

(Trust me, moral philosophy is probably my biggest autistic hyper-fixation. They did this shit GOOD.)

Another major reason I really love Yakuza 0 is that it takes an unusual setting to the normal person - the incredibly political, dark, yet surprisingly realistic setting of organized bullies, criminals, and the uneducated brawn and bad-attitude baddies of the world and try to show them as worthy of more as humans like you and me than just trash that should not be seen or touched. The amount of humanitarian outlook on these people and the humanitarianism of our protagonists is absolutely heartwrenching and beautiful. Despite appearances, anyone can be a good person - this seems to be a major message in this story which I just find absolutely beautiful.

The yakuza definitely have different rules to their world, and that is one that’s built on violence over paperwork, especially when it comes to showing eachother the extent of their passion about something. I feel like it’s an excellent way of portraying the difficulties any normal person goes through with their mental health while struggling to do the right thing in a very direct and relatably painful way that anyone can understand.

The story deals with not only the importance of preserving life and protecting it with surprisingly pacifist ideologies, but the aesthetics in align with the idea that no matter how dark the world or your life feels, happiness is always an option.

Why you might love Yakuza 0 even if the plot doesn’t sound that interesting to you:

Tons of minigames - I think about 28~30 total. That includes 4 actual vintage SEGA arcade games! There’s also tons of gambling games like black jack and shogi, fishing, rhythm games, bowling, fighting tournaments, pool, darts, stock car racing, doll dressup.. It’s very hard not to find at least one you’ll like!

Tourism. Yakuza 0 has such an incredible amount of visual detail to every nook and cranny of every corner and unseen alleyway in the town maps that it feels just absolutely insane to me. The devs didn’t need to put in all this detail but they did. I could legit spend hours in first person mode just looking at everything. On top of that, every restaurant in town has a detailed menu describing each item despite the fact that all food items are just generic healing items. I think there’s even a bar where the bartender will go on a spiel talking about certain drinks after you order them. The atmosphere really makes you feel like you’re truly taking a vacation in another place. Great for when you’re longing to see new scenery while being stuck at home all the time during COVID.

The amount of optional side quests is absolutely insane. According to a wiki there’s a total of 100 side quests in all. If you’re a fan of JRPGs or a fan of completionism, completing them all gives you a ton of extra content and side-stories that can sometimes be just as gutwrenchingly wholesome or tragic as the main plot, or otherwise be great comic relief.

Speaking of comic relief, this game is notorious for it. The main plot can be incredibly serious and stressful and the devs know that can really wear down on the mental state of the player after awhile, so seeing Kiryu dance at a disco in the most lame awkward embarassing dad way possible, or see him pick up a phone in the most ridiculously over-dramatic way for no reason, or see Goro sing lovey-dovey pop songs is just something that will absolutely kill you with laughter and joy and give you a refreshed break you need to help you be able to keep continuing on.

Big fan of seiyuu (Japanese voice actors)? The karaoke bar lets you hear your protagonists’ gorgeous singing voice. You can even invite some side characters and hear their voices too!

NOW THE FAIR CRITICISMS:

Despite the plot having a huge emphasis on how important the morality is of not killing, fighting animations are often totally lethal. Goro canonically fights with a knife and a bat by the end of the game. Both characters can use guns, swords, poisoned knives, baseball bats and other lethal items as a weapon. One of Goro’s main fighting animations is snapping a dude’s neck. Kiryu threw a dude out of a high window. Kiryu shoots at dudes with a gun in a high speed chase at some point and none of these instances are ever addressed in canon plot as having blood on the hands of these characters - no matter what, the people hurt by these things seem to be able to stand up fine later on like nothing happened. Even the main characters can get shot by an actual gun 20 times in a row and shrug it off by shoving convenience store food down their throat. It’s super dumb but absolutely hilarious in it’s unaddressed B-Movie esque hypocritical nature and became a huge in-joke with the fandom. Despite these Goofy Video Game Logic instances, the main plot (specifically the cutscenes) are all extremely realistic and well done. Actual members of real-world Yakuza say the story is pretty accurate to reality.

One of the minor characters is obviously a trans woman but is misgendered constantly by other characters, including the protagonist (though this may be a translation problem), and is the only female character in the game you can fight and have to fight in order to unlock Kiryu’s endgame fighting style (though he remarks he only fights her because she looks like she can handle herself in a fight). She does end up joining up with you as an ally afterwards without changing anything about herself so that’s a positive, I guess? SEGA is aware of fans’ dislike for transphobia and have removed a lot of transphobic content from their re-releases of future Yakuza games, as well as shown the protagonist, Kiryu, as a huge LGBTQ+ ally.

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Things you might like or otherwise want to check out relating to the same story style of Yakuza 0 I personally highly recommend:

Kyou Kara Ore Wa!! (aka, "From Today, It's My Turn!!"): Absolutely hilarious gag comedy with surprisingly heartwrenching drama and incredibly lovable in-depth characters. It’s about highschool delinquents in the late 1980s (same era Yakuza 0 takes place!). The two main characters remind me a lot of the protagonists of Yakuza 0 in that one is very straight-laced and honorable while the other is more prone to dirty tricks but still does the right thing in the end. I personally recommend reading the manga above all because adaptations cut out a lot of details that I feel add a lot of depth to the characters, but the OVA anime is pretty good on it’s own and there’s a hilarious live action TV show adaptation if you like slapstick.

Rookies: A story about an impossibly determined formerly disgraced highschool teacher doing absolutely everything he can to be the best teacher he can be. Part of his journey is helping reform a group of delinquents who have self-sabotaged themselves into having their baseball team - the one thing they cared about - disbanded. The delinquents constantly fight the teacher off, believing him to just be another adult putting on airs instead of truly caring, while the teacher perseveres no matter what to prove them wrong. A manga and live action drama - both extremely good.

[chilledfoodtin]

Episode Ignis, V2, and moral choices

There was recently a really excellent post by @spectreblanc noting all of the disturbing aspects of V2 and its characterization of Ignis which you can read here. One of spectreblanc’s biggest beefs with EP I is that the Extra Verse (V2) portrays Ignis in a completely OOC way--in particular because V2 Ignis appears to have a completely egoistic morality.  I have seen a couple of response posts go up and I wanted to throw in my two cents.  First, it’s important to remember that those of us who think Ignis was OOC in EP I are referring almost exclusively to the Extra Verse (aka V2).  In this post, I’ll consider a few counterpoints and explain just why we should find V2 Ignis’ ethical outlook not only OOC but also completely morally bankrupt.  The bottom line, however, is that Ignis’ radical shift in moral alignment is the cause of his OOCness—not so much his rashness or emotion.

In the English translation of V2, just before putting on the ring, Ignis utters the following infamous line:

“This world means nothing to me. Do with it as you wish.”

This line is not just an emotional outburst under pressure; it is an expression of an egoistic philosophy that is completely at odds with Ignis’ moral character as portrayed in the main game and V1.  Think of the implications of the line.  The world includes his close friends, Prompto and Gladio.  It includes people he cares about and who care about him, like Talcott, Cid, Cindy and Iris.  If Ignis truly does not care about the fate of the world, he does not care about their fates either.  In short, V2 Ignis is an egoist—he only cares to save the person he cares most about--everyone else can be damned.  This is strikingly OOC.  As one of my friends put it—he goes from a lawful good/neutral moral alignment to a chaotic neutral with no warning. 

Other translations of that line aren’t quite as severe as the English, but even the JP expresses a somewhat similar moral attitude (this translation comes from grey_sw on Reddit)

“What happens to the world doesn't matter to me. A future where Noct becomes a sacrifice... I'll never allow it! That destiny... I'll cut it to pieces!”

That line is a little less amoral, given that he doesn’t invite Ardyn to “do what he wants” with the world.  But it is still pushing the limits of Ignis’ moral character.  Can you imagine Ignis in the main game saying this?  Or even V1 Ignis?  In the original ending, Ignis watches Noct walk up the Citadel steps alone—on his way to the final sacrifice.  You know that was tearing Ignis up, but he doesn’t have an insane outburst and try to stop Noctis.  He remains at his post beside Gladio.  That’s because Ignis understands that it must happen in order to save Eos.  Regis even allowed the city of Insomnia to fall into enemy hands in order to ensure that Noctis can fulfill his destiny.  The only reason Regis felt such an act was justified was because he firmly believed Noctis would be able to go on to save all of humanity.  V2 Ignis’ decision to “damn the world” not only shows no interest in saving the lives of his friends, it also makes a waste of every major sacrifice that has happened up to that point.  These are not the actions of a man who dutifully avoids traffic accidents.

Some are arguing that Ignis’ “world” line does not truly express an immoral attitude (check out @iseliadragonwill very interesting post), but I disagree.  It’s actually not the fact that Ignis refuses to sacrifice Noctis that makes his choice morally wrong; it’s his motive for doing so.  Desiring to protect your loved one does not require you to express a morally bankrupt philosophy.  V2 Ignis could have said for example: “if there must be a sacrifice, let it be me.”  Or, “a blood sacrifice is wrong, I won’t allow it.”  But V2 Ignis appears to have no moral character at all.  All he cares about is saving his loved one (V2 also portrays Ignis’ commitment to Noct as obsessive which is also unfortunate). The real Ignis would at least have hesitated when deciding between the fate of the world and Noctis.  Even Regis, Noct’s own father, decided to save the world rather than reject the fate of his son.

There is a classic thought experiment in philosophical ethics called the ‘Trolley Problem’ that will help bear out exactly why V2 ignis’ decision was immoral, or at the least, why V2 Ignis’ decision should shock you.  The Trolley Problem is very simple: imagine a runaway trolley is hurtling down a track.  You are standing near a lever that can change the direction of the trolley.  If you pull the lever, the trolley will kill one person, if you don’t pull the lever, the trolley will kill 5 people.  Here is a simple graphic expressing the Trolley Problem:

Should you pull the lever? A vast majority of people when asked this question say they would pull the lever because it makes intuitive sense to save as many as possible.  Utilitarian moral philosophy argues that the right action is the one that results in the greatest happiness for the greatest number.  In the Trolley Problem, the math is simple.  You can cause pain and death to 1 while saving 5 others form the same. Thus, a utilitarian would pull the lever.  Duty based ethics, however, (like natural law theory and Kantianism) argue that the right action is the one that is in accordance with duty.  Usually, this involves a duty not to kill.  Killing can only be justified under very limited circumstances. Therefore the Trolley Problem is trickier for someone who adheres to duty ethics, but according to most interpretations, to pull the lever is only to allow but not intend a death (many critics quibble about this point). I think Ignis and Regis both fall into the latter camp where Noctis is concerned.   In V1, Ignis even specifies that it is his duty to protect Noctis (”I swore an oath,” etc.) Regis is clearly a duty driven character.  They are allowing the prophecy to unfold, but they by no means intend the death of Noctis.  So let’s have a look at an EP I version of the Trolley Problem:

 When presented with this situation in V2, Ignis decides he does not want to allow Noctis to be hit by the Ardyn-trolley.  That is completely understandable, but V2 Ignis does not offer a morally sound reason for his choice.  The utilitarian choice here is obvious. Ignis should pull that lever.  In fact he should just pull it so hard it breaks because the scales are wildly imbalanced.  One life for every other life. The utilitarian choice is abundantly clear.  From a duty based perspective, however, Ignis would have to reflect on this decision. He would be allowing a life to be taken. However, he would not have to intend for that life to be taken.  Now, some presented with this problem refuse to take action.  They opt out of the problem altogether.  They won’t play the game.  I can imagine Ignis making that choice, but V2 Ignis does not make the choice for hat reason.  He does not say “this is immoral, I won’t allow a life to be taken,” instead he essentially says “I will allow all other lives to be taken if I can save the one life I care about”.  Again, that expresses an egoistic philosophy not consistent with any moral theory except “ethical egoism”.  Not only does he refuse to pull the lever and save countless lives, he literally invites the Ardyn-trolley to crush and kill everyone on the other track.  I think this makes it obvious why V2 Ignis’ choice is morally bankrupt.

There is a possible response here.  @protectignisscientia​ made an interesting argument that V2 Ignis’ OOC moments can be explained away by his age (http://protectignisscientia.tumblr.com/post/168992462240/not-quite-so-friendly-reminder-that-ignis-scientia).  It is true that Ignis is very young at the time of V2.  He is just 22 years old.  It’s very plausible that he might do something rash or emotional.  In V1, for instance, he puts on the ring even though he doesn’t actually have to (it’s certainly not his only choice in that moment). But the above ethical choices are not the expression of a young man overwhelmed by emotion and difficulty.  Youth and stress do not so drastically alter one’s moral character.  Indeed, if it was so easy to alter one’s moral character, it could hardly be called a moral character at all.      

To summarize, I can imagine V1 Ignis refusing to outright sacrifice Noct, but he would never do it for a purely egoistic motive as V2 Ignis does. Can you imagine Ignis Scientia inviting the runaway Ardyn-trolley to crush every person on Eos, including Gladio and Prompto?  Neither can I.   Thus, I have to conclude that V2 Ignis is OOC and he is OOC in a particularly unfortunate way.  He alters how we view Ignis’ moral integrity--a feature of his character that I think we all love.

[jahmusicandlive]

SubWoofers: It’s Showtime

The day was here. The day we had been building up to for seven months. The day that had caused endless stress, documents, and spreadsheets. The day that pretty much represented my input and effort of second year (I would say roughly 85% of any of the work I have done this year has been towards this event).

One thing I had already agreed with myself about a week prior to the event was that I was going to stay happy and positive. Generally I find this fairly easy, I tend to have a positive outlook in day to day life, however, I also know that once I allow my stress to work me up into a mess I struggle to get out of that spiral. I like to think that I did a pretty good job of staying happy, which doesn’t really sound like a job at all, but I think as a leader, if you’re smiling your team are more likely to, like a sort of reassurance that things are on track.

As requested I arrived later than the first group. My mum was generously offering her photography services to us and so she picked me up and drove me in for 8:30. Though I had offered, we both knew that her staying at my house wasn’t the best idea as my only downtime (sleep) needed to be comfortable and having another person to focus on wasn’t going to help that. I cannot explain how incredible it was to have my mum at the event, getting to see me in action. I am very close with her and always keep her updated on uni work, so she has been a part of this journey too. I also know from the past 20 years of my life that if I make my way into that stress spiral, there is one person who can ALWAYS get me out of it. Shout out to you mum, you are a living legend.

Anyway, I arrived at 8:30 (though that hadn’t stopped me being up since 5:30 checking documents and communicating with the early team to make sure everything was going according to plan) and went straight out to the field. The site actually looked like a festival site and I was BUZZING. This was also the first day that the whole team would be on site and I would be coordinating approx. 40 people. One of the tasks that I had an active influence on was the build and break roles, and basically deciding who needed to come to the site on which days. This is definitely something I would have changed in hindsight. We knew we would need people that were actually going to turn up and put the work in, but a few more bodies would have definitely made the process quicker and easier.

When security arrived on site I became two radios Jessie (see flattering picture below). At this point, I really had to get my head in the game, as not only did I need to focus on communicating with people in person, I also had two radios to listen to. Oh and not to forget my phone ringing every five minutes with calls from members of the team without radios. The staggered arrival times of team members meant the radio protocol had been mostly swept aside. Thought this didn’t cause any major issues there were definitely hiccups involving people cutting into other conversations or just speaking rather than using a call and response system (“Jessie to X”, “Go ahead”). One item mentioned in the debrief was that everyone should have arrived at the same time, with one briefing for all including health and safety, radio protocol, and any other information necessary.

The rest of the team arrived after 10 and were given the health and safety briefing. Then came the moment that made everything real… Alan (our course leader) turned to the group and said “Jessie is the event manager, Jessie is in charge, any questions go to Jessie and she will either answer them or send you to a person that can answer them”. In that moment I realised how much responsibility I had been given and how much was relying on me, but funnily enough it didn’t send me into a panic, instead, it got me pumped. It also reassured me that people would listen to me, as the day before I felt I struggled a little with enforcing instructions, so for everyone to have been told clearly (by someone of authority) that my instructions needed to be followed was a relief.

Though the arena was not due to open to the public until 1pm, myself, Jess (H&S coordinator) and Michele (THD CEO) were scheduled to carry out a final walk around at 12pm to ensure that all structures were safe and everything was in place ready to open. At around 11:50 I started running around, knowing fully well that there were still bits to do, however, it turned out that most of these tasks were reasonably small and could be achieved in a short time with the help of many hands. One aspect that was an issue, however, was the security. In the build-up to the event I had been responsible for arranging and liaising with security. When I met with the boss of the company I felt assured that they were event specialists and since the event target audience didn’t pose any major threats we chose to use their services. The reality was that, although the boss fully knew what he was talking about and the industry, most of his team didn’t. One or two of the on-site team were great, fully communicative and on top of it… the other were simply bodies. They didn’t have any clue about what was going on and within that there is definitely room for improvement on our part as their briefing clearly needed to be more in-depth, potentially even held a day or two before the event so that it didn’t clash with the madness of the on-site tasks. There was also an inability to follow simple instruction and in the end, it took the CEO going down and shouting at them for them to actually follow instructions. I understand that with it only being a one-day event, by the time you have your head around it, it’s almost over, however they felt very separated like they were their own little group and only their team leader would communicate with me, it didn’t feel like a coherent collaboration.

It was showtime! Generally, most things within the arena were running smoothly, the two areas that were a bit hectic were the box office and arranging the stewards. Though I was event manager I had fairly little to do with the box office as there were box office assistants, who were managed by the box office manager, who was managed by the logistics coordinator, and so there were already people capable of making the decisions and adjustments necessary to improve the situation. When it came to arranging the stewards Remely (staffing coordinator) was on boss mode. Having made the stewarding rota I knew what the plan was, however as we found out, rotas completely change on the day when volunteers drop out and problem areas need more help and attention. There were a handful of times that Remely called me asking for assistance or advice on who to move where, but other than that I felt comfortable in the knowledge that she was on top of it and props to her because it’s an insanely difficult job.

Once most people were through the gates the day was in full swing and everyone seemed to be really enjoying themselves. I’ll set the gif (below) speak for itself. I ended up making multiple radio calls along the lines of “does anything need doing, are there any issues anyone needs help with” because my team were doing their jobs so efficiently.

As the final act performed everyone managed to find 10 minutes or so to experience the show. Some of the team went on the rides, others just sat down in the sun for a bit. I was walking near to the main stage as saw my mum dancing to Ska Souls - This may seem like nothing to some people, but I usually have to drag my mum onto the dance floor and build up her confidence to let go and have a proper boogie, so to see her doing this by herself made me unbelievably happy - and so I had no option but to go and join her for a dance. Little did I know that Dan captured a few seconds of it (and probably doesn’t realise how much this footage means to me).

Once that moment was over I had to round everyone up in the production office to go over breakdown roles. Before I could start, Remely got everyone’s attention and ended up giving me a little thank you speech. My production team got me two bottles of spiced rum (my drink of choice) and a card. I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have been blessed my team members. Though some struggled to find motivation at times, we all came together and smashed it! Thank you to all my production gals (that includes you, Michael) for making my life so much easier, I couldn’t have coped without you guys. And while I’m here thanking people, let’s chuck a thank you over to the other team leaders. Without our weekly meetings and communal stress rants, I don’t think we’d have pulled off this event. You guys were my stability through this rollercoaster and I can’t wait for us to work together in the future, cause I know that whatever we do together, we’ll smash it!

Now I am aware this post is getting fairly long now, so it’s lucky that the breakdown on the day was a fairly swift process. Once everyone’s roles were allocated it was GO! GO! GO! (This was definitely helped by the fact that once we were finished we knew we could rush home and go out to the final night of Festiball). During this time I was pretty much just overseeing everything. The main issues involved the vehicle egress. Because so much planning had gone into the placement of stewards during the event, the post-event placement had been given less attention. In reality, more stewards were needed throughout the exit route, as well as more signage (In a larger font size). Within this egress route, more attention should have also been given to traders, as it was a one-way system it became difficult for them to get back onto the field from the parking area. All problems were solved but we were all so focused on the show itself and the breakdown that the egress definitely should have been looked at in more detail.

Though there were many other highlights and hiccups, this post is already longer than anyone wants it to be, so I will finish up here. One last thing I must write is to Alan. Alan dropped the bombshell on us a few days before the event that he would be leaving the university at the end of this term. Now, if you had told me this a year ago, I would have been concerned for the future of my course, but I wouldn’t have been particularly personally affected. Over the past year (the past 5 months in particular) I have grown to have the biggest respect for you and I am truly gutted that you are leaving. You have done so much for this course and this event and I know that in the future I will look back knowing that you will have had a major impact on my work ethic and my career, so again, thank you so much.

[bffhreprise]

Entry 188

 “Okay.  Time to spit it out.  You’ve been dodging for over half an hour already.” I stated, having just glanced at the time.  James continued spacing out as I stared at him, so I said, “Yo!  James!  Come back to me.  Seriously, what’s eating you?”

 He exhaled suddenly and took a deep breath.  The he looked at me and told me “I’m sorry.  This has been bothering me for a while, and I have been trying to think of a way to tell you ever since my birthday, when Aaliyah revealed some things to me.”

 “Whoa.” I replied, holding up a hand.  “This isn’t one of her secrets, is it?”

 If he was about to put my life at risk, I wanted to accept it with full knowledge of what would happen, but he looked at me questioningly.

 “Huh?” he asked.  Then his expression suddenly changed as he said, “No.  Of course not.  By the way, how does it feel knowing you were trained by the world’s only assassin?”

 I shrugged and said, “Bit strange, really.  Makes sense when I think about the forms she taught me, but don’t get sidetracked.”  Keep James focused on one thing was proving exceptionally difficult tonight.

 He nodded before saying, “Yeah, well… Aaliyah unloaded a bunch of secrets on me.  Remember how she promised me answers if I gave her the ‘right cake’?  Turned out that I was supposed to give her ‘birthday cake’.  Figures, doesn’t it?”

 “That’s Aaliyah for you.  She’s very good at telling you things and not telling you a thing at the same time.” I agreed as I laughed.

 “Well, Aaliyah somehow figured out why I absorb residual energy.  My body utilizes it in a number of ways, apparently.  Unfortunately, I can’t control how I use the stuff.  I just do… and… I’m sorry.” stated James, looking glum.

 I rolled my eyes and said, “Sorry for dragging this out?  Say it already!”

 “Yeah.  Sorry.  One of the things my body does is to… umm… make people like me.” he muttered.

 I laughed, thinking about how useful that was.  “That’s great stuff!” I exclaimed.

 “Jarod!  Seriously.  I don’t know the specifics, really, but I give off some sort of enchantment that grows more powerful as I absorb energy.  Anyone affected by it is forced to view me more favorably.” he insisted, sounding disturbed.

 I couldn’t stop laughing.  Only James would worry about having such an incredible gift.  “Dude, that’s the coolest ability you could ever want!” I argued.  “That’s great!  Seriously, you have the perfect magic for your job.”

 “But I don’t want to manipulate people!” he complained.

 I stopped laughing as I looked at him.  He was really being eaten up by this revelation.  “I know.” I assured him, still smiling.  “That’s one of the great things about you.”

 “How do you know you don’t feel that way simply because my magic’s messing with you?” he asked.

 James had probably thought through every last possible negative aspect of his ability dozens of times, but he wasn’t able to consider the good.  Nodding, I said, “First off, that doesn’t matter, James.  Relax.  You have magical charisma.  That’s just part of you whether you like it or not.  Your actions, however, are made by your own choices.  I know you’re a good person because I’ve been your best friend for years.  I’ve seen the things you do to help people.  From the day we met, you’ve always helped me, and I’ll always be grateful for it.  If you weren’t such a great person, Aaliyah probably would’ve been hired to take you out by now, since you’d make one exceptional villain.  Think about it… no judge or jury would want to find you guilty!”

 I couldn’t resist teasing him a little more.  His ability was sooo cool!  James still looked a bit glum, but he seemed to be slightly more relaxed.  “So what else can you do?” I questioned.

 “Huh?” he asked, having obviously been lost in his thoughts again.  Catching up to what I asked, he exclaimed “Oh!  I can tell if people are lying.”

 “Wow.  Really?” I asked, but times James never seemed to notice someone lying to him popped into my mind.  “I think that power’s broken.”

 “Huh?  Why?” he asked.

 “You rarely say anything even if people are obviously lying.” I pointed out.

 “Calling people out all the time would be a bit rude, and I haven’t always trusted my gut, although I have more often of late.” he explained.

 James did worry about manners a great deal more than most.  He had tried to correct mine a number of times over the years, but there was only so much propriety that I could stomach.  Nodding, I said, “I take it that there isn’t some flashing warning light in your head then.”

 “I just get these feelings when people are talking with me.” he stated.  “I don’t really know how to explain it, but I think it’s how I tell the twins apart.  After some time with them, I just developed a feeling of which was which.”

 I laughed again, caught up in the utility of such a gift.  “Wow.  That’d be handy and yet is so odd.” I insisted.  Knowing the minds of the twins were very closely connected, James could be said to know the truth of their bodies, which could lead to all sorts of funny conversations.  Then were the games I wouldn’t want to play against James, knowing what he could do.

 “Jarod, what’s up?” he asked.

 “Nothing really.” I assured him.  “Just thinking about all of the games I don’t want to play against you now, like poker.” I teased with a laugh.

 James’ expression had changed.  Did he sense something?

 “So was I telling the truth?” I probed.

 He shrugged and said, “No clue.  Seemed partly true.”

 “Yep.  Was also thinking about how to test you.” I told him, though there were plenty of other thoughts as well.  “This is pretty awesome!” I exclaimed, considering more things James could pull off.

 “Oh great.  I’m going to be a lab rat now.” he stated.

 “You bet!  At least you know you’ll be treated well, since everyone will like you!” I teased.

 “Har har.  Very funny.” he replied, attempting to be dry even as he started to laugh.

 “I knew you wouldn’t mind!  Now let’s cut you open and see how this works!” I suggested with a grin.

 “Okay, okay, okay!” he exclaimed.  “I’m relaxed now.”

 “About time.  You have these wonderful, useful abilities which make me insanely envious, so please don’t make them a burden.  That’d drive me nuts!  I would absolutely love to be able to use magic.  I’ve sought the supernatural for most of my life and can’t quite be a part of it even now that I know it’s real.” I confessed.

 “Sorry.  I really don’t mean to rub your face in it or anything.” he insisted, looking all too serious.

 “Please, just relax.” I ordered, interrupting him before he said anything more.  “I’m not all brokenhearted over here.  I’m glad to be part of your business, and I love getting to see all the cool spells people do.  I was just wanting to emphasize the point that you should appreciate what you have, not let it drag you down.  As I showed Duncan, I’m not precisely defenseless anymore, and I’ll be even less defenseless after I create a suit to my liking.  If you manage the magical defenses for me, my second suit should give me the strength needed to keep up better.”

 “I’ll do what I can.  Mind if I consult with Alma some?” he asked.  “She has been teaching me of late.”

 “Not at all.  I’ll gladly take whatever help I can get.” I assured him.  “Besides, she might be willing, since you can magic her into liking you more if she refuses.”

 Shaking his head, he said, “No, not really.  Alma can block that enchantment to some extent.  She’s known about it longer than I have.”

 I nodded but said, “Still, she obviously likes you.  That’s gotta help your chances.”

 He shrugged.  “Maybe.  Maybe not.  I have a horrible time understanding her.  Seriously, why would someone that incredible see me as anything other than a… a… well, lab rat to be studied?”

 “Maybe she likes good people?” I suggested.  “I don’t know.  I’m not entirely certain what you see in her either.”

 “What do you mean?” he asked, seeming surprised by the idea.  “I obviously don’t see eye-to-eye with her on a number of things, but I really thinks she means well.  You should see her talk about saving people.  That’s really what she’s into.  Kinda like Portentia, but with a different outlook on who needs saved.  I know you may not have noticed with a twin on each arm, but Alma’s incredibly beautiful.  When I look in her eyes, I have trouble looking away.”

 Laughing, I said, “I’ve noticed.  You can’t seem to take your eyes off her half the time.”  I do my best not to look at her at all.  Someone other than James staring too much would probably offend her, and offending her was dangerous.  Besides, she probably would figure out that I was examining her.

 “I’m not that bad.” insisted James.  “I’m being serious here!  I believe Alma’s a good person at heart.  She just has to deal with far more than an average person.”

 “I’m being serious too.  You’re obviously into her.  Admit it to yourself at least.  For me, she’s a bit creepy.  I’ve seen werewolves and werelions.  I commonly hang out with a guy who can change his shape to some extent.  Brenna can change her hair, skin, and eye color.  Emma’s practically the goddess of plants.  Yet I still feel that Alma is the most inhuman ‘person’ I’ve ever met.  Her eyes and skin don’t look natural at all.  She barely seems to have a sense of humor.  Plus, her movement seems to defy physics with her speed and strength.  Oh yeah.  She also has a temper and tends to combust things when annoyed.” I explained, hoping I hadn’t gone too far in my rebuttal.

 “Yes, she has a temper and doesn’t always keep it in check.  I know she’s extremely fast as well as strong.  Though not a shade of violet I’ve seen in nature, you have to admit that her eyes are quite remarkable to behold.  As for humor, she’s British aristocracy.  You can’t expect her to laugh at the same things we do, but I assure you that she’s quite beautiful when she does laugh.  I’m not planning on dating her or anything.  Even if she is still willing, there’s just so much of a gap between us.”

 I laughed and said, “Keep telling yourself that, but she doesn’t seem like the type to take ‘no’ for an answer.”

 James was completely hooked on her.  Yes, Alma was inhumanly beautiful, but she was very much inhuman in mind as well as body from what I had seen.  Her temper was her most relatable aspect, and even that had a fierceness rarely seen in humans.  Furthermore, she was incredibly dangerous.  The little the twins told me revealed that the show Alma had put on for us when James had gone to fight her was nothing more than that, a show.  All I could think to do was consult with Aaliyah on ways to protect James if his relationship with Alma turned sour.  There had to be a solution.