#i know it might seem dramatic but it's rly a scary time

[onlydeadcells]

I am genuinely terrified of how a national government is going to effect not just me, not just my whānau but also so many ppl in this country. I hoped we'd be able to get labour over the threshold but unfortunately not :\

[corpsedaydream]

crash

so, here i am with a new one shot.

so before anyone asks if i’m gonna be posting frequently again or anything, i process things by writing about them. if something is running through my mind over and over and i can’t think through it on my own in my mind, writing about it generally helps me. this past weekend was supposed to be a fun long weekend away w my friends but it quickly ended when i experienced something pretty traumatic. i haven’t been able to sleep at all the past couple nights and so i started working on this. originally it was just going to be something private to help myself w the panic i was feeling then i started adding a muse into it and then i realised i was still writing about corpse without even meaning to, so i guess he’s still got me feeling musey.

anyway, i thought about keeping this private bc i’m still rly shaken up about what happened but idk feels like a shame to just let it sit on my computer.

idk if i’m back to this blog yet, i still feel indifferent about it. i’m signed out on my phone and was signed out on my laptop until just now and haven’t opened my inbox.

anyway. here’s the one shot.

word count: 1666 words (i’m not kidding)

trigger warning: car crash, panic attack

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crash

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up wake up wake up.

The words repeated over and over in your head. You’d had dreams about crashing your car before, but usually you woke up just before the point of impact. This time you didn’t.

This couldn’t of happened, this can’t be real, this is a a dream, I’ve got to wake up.

But you were already very much awake, this was very much real.

The colour had already drained from your face, tears were welling up in your eyes and your heart had already sunk. Your hands were trembling, your chest was completely still, you weren’t breathing in that moment. Your body had reacted before your mind had completely caught up.

“Fuck.” Was all you managed to say as realisation had hit you. You’d gotten into a car crash.

You looked around you, wondering how the others cars on the road were still moving when it felt like your world had just come to a stop when your car had its collision. You heard your dad’s voice in your head, all the things he’d told you when he taught you how to drive, had - god forbid - you ever ended up in a situation like this.

You went through the motions as well as you could. You were in a state of shock and physically, you were definitely there, but mentally, you really weren’t present. You were having an out of body feeling in the most terrifying way, it was a defence from the panic that had overwhelmed you.

-

Corpse felt a surge of anxiety. He had no idea why, either. All he was doing was looking through fan art on twitter, he hadn’t seen anything that usually would make him feel like that. It just throttled its way into himself seemingly out of no where.

It was especially odd seeing that today had been such a good day. Waking up beside was usually something that put him in a good head space.

So he started to call you, you always made him feel better. But then he remembered you were driving and you were a cautious driver, you never answered your phone when you were behind the wheel. You’d told him in the past how tenacious your dad had been as a driving teacher and it had really stuck with you.

Just as he was about to hang up, knowing you weren’t going to answer, you did.

“Hello?” Something was off. Corpse heard it right away in just that one greeting from you.

“Are you okay?” He didn’t even greet you back, he already had anxiety running through him and the unsettling tone of your answer of the phone had only made it increase.

“I think so.” You were so monotoned. Corpse had never heard you speak this way. You were a lot of things, but monotone was not one. You were expressive, bright and dramatic.

“You think so?” He repeated in a questioning way, wanting to know what was wrong.

“Yeah.” You responded so plainly again. Corpse almost wanted to ask you who was he speaking to right now, because surely this couldn’t have been you. This person had your voice, but this was a person he did not know right now.

“What’s going on?”

“I crashed my car.” You said it to him so simply. There was no emotion behind it. His heart thundered as if a terrible hail storm had just broken out. 

“What?!” 

“I crashed my car.” You repeated. Once again so eerily unemotional.

“Where are you?!”

-

Corpse shouldn’t have been driving in the state he was in, but he needed to get to you. His emotions were running so high and he couldn’t comprehend why yours weren’t.

After what felt like the longest drive of his life, he reached the crash site. His panic peaked when he spotted the ambulance, immediately thinking the worst. But then he saw you standing to the side of it. You were up and talking to the paramedics, that was at least a good sign you weren’t seriously injured.

“(Y/N),” He called for you as he got out of his own car. And just like your voice on the phone, your movements were so robotic.

You were normally so open with your emotions, you were such a readable and honest person. When you were happy, you shined, when you were mad, you yelled red, when you were sad, you cried oceans. But Corpse had never seen you in a true state of shock. He’d never seen your fight or flight response. And apparently it was a stillness and unresponsive, the complete opposite to how you were normally.

“Are you okay?” He knew you probably weren’t, but he couldn’t find any clue to how you were feeling. Until his footsteps brought him closer to you.

You didn’t respond to him at all. Even words felt like too much right now. As he neared you, though, he spotted the signs of fear your body displayed that your words did not. Your hands and arms were trembling, your shoulders were slumped, your face was completely pale, sweat dotted all over your forehead despite it not being a hot day, tears were slowly spilling from your eyes one by one, your chest was moving unevenly as you struggled to breathe properly.

“Baby, c’mere.” Corpse didn’t hesitate to gather you in his arms. Holding you so tenderly against him. That’s when he felt that it was more than just your arms and hands that were trembling, your entire body had a slight shake to it. He knew you were experiencing true terror in that moment.

-

The time between your banged up car getting placed onto a tow truck and arriving back at your apartment felt like a blur.

You’d just gotten off the phone with your insurance provider when you’d heard Corpse.

“Are you in any pain?”

"What?” You’d heard him perfectly but you hadn’t once thought about how this had affected you physically.

“Are you in any pain?” He repeated himself.

“I’m not sure.” And you weren’t, but the paramedics had said that adrenaline would be coursing through you right now and adrenaline was the biggest distraction from pain. “I’m gonna go have a shower.”

“Okay.” Corpse watched you with concerned eyes until you disappeared behind your bathroom door. He so badly wanted to help, wanted to make you feel better, break you out of this state you were in that he was so not used to.

-

You didn’t know how much time you’d spent in the shower. But it was long enough that the sky had grown darker and the moon had replaced the sun by the time you emerged. Once you’d gotten dressed, you made slow steps towards your bedroom. Your hands were trembling more violently than before and your breathing was speeding up.

The shock was finally wearing off and reality was getting ready to slap you hard across the face.

“Corpse...” Your voice was so silent, almost as if you couldn’t form a word due to the air that seemed harder and harder to breathe as a panic attack started to take control of you.

Corpse might not have even heard you had he not been on such high alert for you right now. But he was, and so he did he hear you and when he saw the state you were in, he instantly got up from his spot on your bed where he was waiting for you and was wrapping you up tight.

You were hyperventilating so dangerously, your heart felt like it was being encased in treacherous clouds that tightened with every intake of air you struggled to get.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had cried this way. You were breaking down.

Corpse was completely holding you up. Had it not been for him, you would be a crumbled heap on the floor.

-

The both of you didn’t sleep that night.

Every time you were close to drifting off, the crash would replay in your mind on an insufferable loop and you would jolt awake and the panic would restart all over.

And every time, Corpse was right there to hold you through it. He didn’t sleep due to how concerned he was about you.

-

The next day was a little easier mentally, but a lot harder physically. You’d gotten so much emotion out the night before that now the pain could have your attention.

Everything from your hips up felt sore, stiff and tense. Every time you moved your neck was scary because it felt like it was about to snap. But worst of all was your chest. It was hard and painful to breathe. The paramedics had warned you about this. The impact to your chest was going to take the longest to recover from. You kept your breathing shallow, any other kind of breathing made you wince and Corpse noticed.

“You’re hurting.” It wasn’t a question, he was stating what he noticed. He’d known the signs of someone in pain. Plus he had also taken note of the bruises that had appeared on your skin, the colouring of them looking like a painting of a galaxy, all purple and blue. 

“A little bit.”

“Mhm.” He knew it was more than a little bit, but he wasn’t about to argue with you. He looked over you laying beside him, grateful that you were still here, you were alive. A car could be replaced, but you could not.

You were flat on your back because that was really only the current position that felt even the tiniest bit comfortable right now. Corpse was on his side, one of his hands supporting his head as he leaned over you. His other hand began to soothingly run his fingers through your hair and you let your eyes flutter close at the touch.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled back, keeping your eyes shut and feeling exhaustion take over you.

“Try sleeping, baby. I’ll be right here.”

[chisinpink]

The Only One: A Mastermind!Nagito AU Story - PROLOGUE

Hello lovelies, I’ve posted a *lot* about my Mastermind!Nagito AU on tiktok (I’m @chisben there as well if you wanna check it out), and I rly wanna share it here so here’s the prologue! Special thanks to @servanthaji for helping out with the planning of this whole story in general!

(Content warning for mentions of bombs and bombings, swearing and crying.)

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JUNKO: Yep, that’s the day that it happened. The day everything started getting… pretty scary, if you ask me! I’m just glad you were outta town for that, and baby was home sick. That’s, like, the only reason she’s here today, too!

HAJIME: Wait, wait, slow down! What are you even talking about…?

JUNKO: Uhh, I’m getting to that? Besides, don’t you know that guy too? Nagito Komaeda?

HAJIME: Not really… I mean, I knew of him, but I was in the reserve course. I didn’t really talk to him or anything until I went to school that Monday, and… there was nobody there except him.

JUNKO: Oh, yea? Did he tell you anything?

HAJIME: Not really. After I got shot at and ran in the school, I asked him what the hell was going on, but it was like I wasn’t there either. He just changed the subject to hope over and over again, like I asked a totally different question, and eventually I just walked away. I still don’t know what he was doing there.

JUNKO: Then maybe he doesn’t want you to know, y’know? You’re so lucky you have me, then~!

(She smirks playfully. Hajime stares at her blankly and her face drops. She stares at a map with a pen in hand.)

JUNKO: Come ooon, I’m coping! This is pretty stressful for everyone, y’know, I use humor to forget about all this stupid shit.

HAJIME: Whatever… just… tell me what’s going on.

JUNKO: Well, what happened that day… that was the start of The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History… in my opinion. And that’s saying a lot, because this world is filled with despair! And, like, his whole class helped him do what he did to the country! No idea why that is, but we can all fill you in on the rest, I guess. Preeeety sure we were all there in some way, ‘cept my baby.

(She gestures to the entirety of Class 78 of Hopes Peak Academy, standing and sitting in the basement of the school, as well as Mikan Tsumiki, who has a timid smile on her face as Junko looks back at her. Hajimes face drops.) 

HAJIME: Wh… what?? That can’t be it, that can’t be what happened…! The whole class?? The whole country?!

JUNKO: Eeeyup! They evacuated the school by putting a bomb under their teachers desk, and apparently all around the school, and I have NO idea how that lady didn’t croak! Anyways, everyone had to leave, and… that’s basically all I know. They just repeated that ooover and ooover on the news, it made me sick!!

(She threw her pen at a tiny radio propped up on a few cardboard boxes.)

HAJIME: Wh… this doesn’t… but… but, I...

(Kyoko steps forward and faces Hajime.)

KYOKO: I have some more information on what happened that day. After we were trapped here in the basement, all we had was the radio to inform us of the true nature of what happened. This is what I wrote down from those broadcasts.

(She hands Hajime a folder that contains three sheets of paper, all three of them hand-written notes. He begins reading.)

KYOKO: The class of 77-B was, most likely, all apparently under some sort of drug-induced psychosis. Most witnesses reported that they were acting strangely or out of character before they planted the bombs, and their eyes were hazy and… 

HAJIME: ”swirled”, “mixed”, “terrifying”, “comforting”, “light and dark” ...none of these make any sense.

KYOKO: My thoughts exactly. This entire event is bizarre and without any logical reasoning behind it… if you’d only heard about it on the news. But I think Makoto and I know more than any news outlets.

HAJIME: How?

(She looks over her shoulder to Makoto, signaling him to stand up.)

MAKOTO: Well, about a month ago me and Kyoko were going to one of the computer rooms to print something, but it was kind of out of the way, so we didn’t expect him to be there. N-Nagito, I mean. We saw him talking to Chihiro, and, uhm… I didn’t hear that part.

(He looks up to Chihiro. They stand meekly and fold their arms.)

CHIHIRO: H-he had been asking me to collaborate with him on a personal project, but… I didn’t have any spare time, and I didn’t even know him that well! So I finally just told him no, and he left me alone for a day or two… but t-then…

(Tears form at the corners of their eyes.)

CHIHIRO: H-he told me that… he was gonna… destroy the sc-sc-school if I didn’t-!

(They cover their face, and Makoto reaches out to rub their shoulder.)

MAKOTO: It’s not your fault, Chihiro. It’s nobody's fault but his. B-but anyway, after we heard about that, we decided that we had to keep an eye on him, but… basically the next day is when the bombs went off.

HAJIME: Why didn’t you just… tell a teacher what he told Chihiro?

MAKOTO: In hindsight… yeah, that would’ve been the safest thing we could’ve done. But Kyoko thought that we couldn’t keep an eye on him if he was expelled for that, a-and he could have been doing anything at home, so we fo-

KYOKO: Makoto, please, don’t. I was a coward, and I didn’t trust anybody else to investigate the matter. This whole situation could have been de-escalated dramatically if I had told school faculty.

(Kiyotaka stands from his spot next to Mondo.)

TAKA: You DIDN’T inform a teacher, or the Headmaster?! Miss Kirigiri, the school faculty always knows what is best for us!!

MONDO: Yeaaaah, is that why they all jumped ship and fucked off to who-knows-where so we could fight like dogs in the basement?

AOI: Hey, they did what they could, okay?? They had to protect themselves like everyone else! We’re not any better by hiding in the basement.

MONDO: Where the fuck ELSE were we supposed to go?? Candy land?!

YASUHIRO: Hey hey hey, Chihiro was right to lead us here the day the bombs went off! But I hear ya, maybe we coulda moved out of Japan together or somethin’ instead of hiding in Japan!

TOKO: I-I see why you’ve had to retake this year as m-much as you did now, you dumbass! He could b-be expanding anywhere now!!

BYAKUYA: As much as I hate to agree with her, I do. Nowhere is truly safe, and for all we may know, we’re being actively searched for. It’s only a matter of time before we have to relocate.

SAYAKA: I-I can’t stay here another second!! 

CELESTIA: Oh, so do you two suggest that we run out into the streets and expose ourselves to the predators? Play Nagitos game of cat and mouse?

LEON: Hell NO, I’m not playing that freaks game! But if he’s got his little possie out there looking every which way for us, then we gotta at least try and delay it!

SAKURA: On the other hand, we don’t know what they might want from us, if anything, or how bad the situation has escalated since we decided to hide.

HIFUMI: We don’t even KNOW what’s out there w-waiting for us anymore?! There could be giant mutant spiders wanting to turn us into baby food by now! I’m staying right HERE.

YASUHIRO: ...okay, I’m officially lost. Are we moving or staying?

SAYAKA: Moving!!

BYAKUYA: If you all intend on surviving, then you’ll all relocate. If you intend on being brutally murdered, then by all means, feel free to stay for a bit longer.

LEON: What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?? 

MAKOTO: H-hey, everybody calm down!!

SAKURA: We cannot make a decision until we know more about the outside world. AOI: But isn’t it because of what we don’t know that we have to go out there by now?

SAYAKA: Maybe some of us could go and some of us could stay?

TOKO: W-what if that reveals the hiding spot f-f-for everybody else??

MIKAN: (wiping away tears and hiccupping) N-nooo!!

YASUHIRO: Then we all have to come to the same decision, then.

CELESTIA: Yes, good luck reaching a peaceful consensus during the middle of an apocalypse!

BYAKUYA: I never said that it had to be a peaceful decision. If needed, you will all follow me kicking and screaming so I don’t perish thanks to your idiocy.

MONDO: I’ll knock some idiocy into ya if you keep runnin’ your mouth like that!

TAKA: Remember to take deep stomach breaths, bro! I think we can all solve this by utilizing a popular vote!

HIFUMI: But wouldn’t whoever’s the most popular win anyway??

HAJIME: SHUT UP!!! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!!

(Everyone stops talking and stares at Hajime, who’s trembling and has his face in his hands.)

JUNKO: Daaaaaaamn, rookie’s kinda bold to be screaming at us like that, huh?

MAKOTO: Junko… you’re not helping. He’s obviously overwhelmed and you’re just teasing him.

JUNKO: C’mon, I’m nowhere near him! Hahah!

(Makoto sighs, sitting down next to Hajime on the floor. The rest of the students talk amongst themselves.)

MAKOTO: ...I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask to be here, but… for what it’s worth, I’m glad that you’re still alive somehow.

HAJIME: … 

MAKOTO: You know… when Mukuro found you unconscious in that class, we all thought you were one of Nagitos’ friends. You seemed too peaceful in your sleep to have been running from anybody, or hiding from anything.

HAJIME: ...then why did you help me?

KYOKO: We thought we could get some information about the outside world. But apparently, you're just as lost as the rest of us.

MAKOTO: A-and because we didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Even if you were one of his people, we didn’t want you to just be out there. I’m glad that you weren’t, though… it feels nice to meet someone new again.

(Hajime lifts his face from his hands, palms and face covered in tears. He looks at Makoto with a faint smile.)

HAJIME: Yeah… feels nice.

☘️ TO BE CONTINUED☘️

[afriendlyblackhottie]

I feel like this is an annoying question cause it rly come down to determination and everything but like girl how did you get consistent with a healthy lifestyle in terms of food and working out😩😩😩I struggle so much with staying consistent but the annoying thing is that being healthy makes me feel so much better on a daily basis but it’s just hard to keep up with it😔

Aw boo it’s not annoying at all! It was hard as hell to get to this point. I honestly would have never gotten here if it wasn’t for the Panasonic cuz I haven’t had to work and I’m not going to pretend that it wasn’t a factor for me to start this the way I did.

Sorry this is gonna be long cuz idk how to put it into shorter words but if you need to ask questions like do not be afraid to ask them. I get why it’s so hard because I’ve literally never done this before and I think that’s why I’ve been posting so much because it’s all so new to me and I feel like damn this is all it was like this is all I had to do like I’m having fun doing this you know. And I know how hard and scary it seems to start but it doesn’t have to be. Like we make things go complicated for no reason and I hate that

And it’s because we want the quick fixes which duh I can’t blame anyone for that but considering we don’t all have access to drop 10k on some lipo those quick fixes probably aren’t happening tomorrow either so the least we can do is make today count and that’s what I had to get through to myself in the first place.

First of all I had to work on my mental health first. There were things that I just never realized about myself that needed to be realized. And honestly if I hadn’t started coming on here I probably would have never gotten to this point. Like it wasn’t just the diet and the exercise it was a lot of things.

Then I found this channel

and just applied a lot of things she said (you can skip the fiber stuff. I tried it and it l didn’t notice anything different)

I usually eat between noon and 8 pm. Sometimes it’s not perfect but don’t beat yourself up too bad about it.

DRINK PROTEIN before a work out. Swear it made a difference immediately.

Do you not eat things that you don’t like. I have done a lot of stupid diets. I did keto I’ve done this other really stupid diet I almost did a stupid diet in between this but don’t do it. It’s tempting because they always promised dramatic weight loss but I promise you don’t do it eat foods that you like. 

Now what I did was substitute foods so instead of eating A baked potato, I was swap The potato out for sweet potato because a sweet potato counts towards your servings of veggies and fruits.

And I still eat out a lot but the thing is what I eat out is usually like chicken and rice so it’s really not that bad. like I don’t like salads so I don’t eat salads but a lot of diets are like all you need to eat a salad is it a salad for lunch no fuck that I hate salads.

Also those less carb tortillas were a godsend because for things that have bread sometimes I’ll substitute the bread for the tortilla and of course it’s not like fluffy like bread is but still it’s fine like it’s really not that much of a difference. Like I legit cannot eat like I used to I get so full and that’s the thing listen to your body the most. your body will tell you when you have had enough. 

Also drink water. And black coffee counts towards your water intake. I drink my morning coffee as a cold brew with caramel syrup and sea salt and it counts towards your water intake. So does the protein. And tea.

Most importantly have fun. People frame getting healthier as a chore. That was the problem for me. Because I would do stuff and I would be so bored but now that I’ve been going to the gym it genuinely feels good and I feel like I’m having fun doing the work out like it’s like a little game for me. have fun with it have fun with eating. have fun with working out. like make this an enjoyable time and that’s I think the biggest problem is we frame it as it I don’t have to do all that I just want to be able to lose the weight or I don’t have to go and work out but it feels good have fun. 

I’m telling you literally do what works for you. Do not let other people tell you to do dumb crash diet‘s or that you shouldn’t eat certain things Because for me that’s what made it harder before. Like it would be like keto like oh you can’t eat fruits what kind of diet tells you can eat fruits don’t listen to that shit that’s bad you need fruit fruit is good for you.

If you want a burger eat a fucking burger do you want fries eat fries do not let some thing tell you to not eat something you enjoy just because you’re doing a diet. Restricting yourself isn’t going to make it any easier and if anything it’s going to make you panic and you’re going to go on a bed and that’s way worse eat what you want when you want it so that later you’ve already had it and you’re like OK whatever.

I would say portion sizes are so much more important so what I try to do sometimes is to fill up more on veggies and then I will eat the stuff I enjoy after so that I’m already kind of full but then I still get the thing I want and it’s nice like a little treat. 

Also one of the things I realize is that once you start doing this your body craves less. Like outside of having the munchies I don’t really crave food like I used to. That’s why I’m telling you to not deprive yourself of things you enjoy because pretty soon you might not enjoy them that much like I don’t really care for burgers anymore actually like I can eat them but it’s not something I would pick on a day-to-day basis anymore last time I had a burger I was like eh 🤷🏾‍♀️ like you’ll see your body will change on its own just listen to it as you go.

Think of this as a journey. It isn’t going to be short and it isn’t going to be over by tomorrow but the least you can do is make sure you have fun with it. It’s not a chore and it’s not a punishment. your body is good in all forms. this isn’t about weight loss this is about changing your lifestyle so you can be the best version of what’s already there.

[icecreamkink]

so im watching ice princess bc. brain empty. it has been like legit 15 years since i watched it! this was the very first ice skating thing i have ever watched and i was OBSESSED with it when we rented it in vhs. i wouldnt get Actually Into figure skating until sochi but this movie was the reason i was gliding around in socks on the floor and started watching winter olympics as child

it starts w this song that sounds like a ripoff of this OTHER early 00's girl movie song that i cannot remember (or prob never learned lol) the lyrics to and its driving me crazyyy

the ptbr version is called 'sonhos no gelo' aka dreams on ice and i personally think its a better name than ice princess

then again dreams on ice is such a ice show name so maybe thats why they chose not to lol

the music that is playing when hayden panettiere (??) first talks to georgina from gg is. . . weirdly soft porn-y. harold-

OMG WHO IS THE GENERIC "HOT" JOCK. WHERE DO I KNOW HIM FROM

i feel like sasha cohen being who makes georgina go 'omg. moving on ice requires physics!!!and thus Plot' would generate Some Type of dumb discourse today. i cant explain it i just feel it

that tv is very very old .

im so happy that joan cusak is playing an annoying judgy feminist she looks like shes loving it as she should

color coded skaters!

kim cattrall as a scary retired Did She Break A Competitors Leg Did She Not Guess! coach mom named tina is also what she Should be doing

i remember she and joan cusak fight ?by the end? so we are looking forward to That

is this another 'give the girl that the mc has chemistry with a brother for no homo reasons' example; never rewatch your heroes

juniors faking landing quads in 2005? sounds kinda precocious but what do i know

movies abt artistic sports usually Highly overestimate how nice the training outifts are but caseys a woman of the people

georgina wearing kim cattralls old outfit and the yoiness of it all. idk how to feel abt that. blueprint

honestly if my mom hated fs costumes and made me wear That i would definetely rebel

ok listen. i dont Really Know, and i guess the point is that as a Physics Person with Talent she like breaks the barriers or something but . . 'tucking ur arms in' 'pushing with your toepick' are pretty standard things people are conscious of and i dont think theyd make a girl whos been training for a couple months land a double ? would she even have the muscles for that . i mean OK ITS A DISNEY MOVIE IK i Know IM JUST. ok ok

whys georginas token best friend so likeable. get it ann

teddy, the no homo zamboni driver

joan cusack and kim cattralls passive agressive interactions!!!!!!!! ty for my life

Unlikely Complex Computer Program Check

jen! im not dressed for a party! sigh. shake it. ??? eye roll your hair >>>>>

GENERIC HOT JOCK IS SHANE OMEN OMGGGG I KNEW I KNEW HIM

hey! you get paid to be a has been on ice ok. and its Awesome. and its probably more fun than competing all things considered lbr

no but like, its not like georgina couldnt go to college during or after a skating career..... plenty of athletes do that.....

considering she could retire circa 2015, she could even become a youtuber on TOP and capitalize on yuri on ice. joan cusack has no eye for the future smh

but making her mom not simply a controlling academic but instead a working professor regretting probable wasted potential was a smart choice

aw cds !!

'youllbe be worth even more when you win' damn dont hold back tiffanys dad

i feel seen with the way the parents are so obnoxious in this movie

i mean i feel seen bc i had to deal w ballet parents not that i am a obnoxious parent myself, i. i dont have kids

i wish i could say omg thats so dumb as if athletes are always at each others throats like that but uh. on junior level? it happens

hayden panehfd and georgina ending up together would have been so cute sigh

only the girls/women are important in this movie and im into this. rip teddy

zoey bloch sure can rock

i wish i knew how to hidroblade :( or. skate. at all; lmao

nikkis regionals costume was very cute , prize for the jumping bean!! . eh shrimp

so who choreographed georginas programs? tina? did she do it herself? is that why they look kinda meh. why didnt they show it

ok but like. needing to break in brand new shoes is . is it not . common knowledge. :for anything. ?

LIKE im not defending the sabotaging of a teenager but. as a Smart Person who Knows Physics and has been training in a high impact sport and STUDYING IT, did it rly not occur to her that like. competing in brand new, though skates might be a Bad Idea? she figured out how to land a triple in months but not that performing on brand new shoes sounds kinda stupid??

ooo~~ its just like sarajevo~~

JOAN CUSAK AND KIM CATTRALL THROWING IT DOWN YES

the dramatic fight makes it kinda inescapable that they act circles around the kids but oh well

why didnt kim cattrall push teddy to be a figure skater too. like double the odds of a success, seems kinda obvious

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS

*hayden panerimo, voice cracking* anD I WANT *kim cattrall*okay okay thats enough -

drama in the hallwayyy

georgina answering "why are u passionate about harvard" with essentially "im not" kinda iconic ngl

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS²

whys she not wearing the new skates. she already has them now, and for free too

i have never seen an actual frozen lake in my life but are those cracks supposed to be like that

yes it IS a beautiful sport casey tell em !!

kim cattrall was a such a big brain choice. who else would sell 'im not gonna apologize for sabotaging you and taking advantage of ur stupidity" to a 16 year old in a disney movie

"i dont have to like or trust my coach "kjasdkfn casey,,,,, sweetie. i mean eteris girls do win trophies back to back so I Guess In A Way but also.,,,,,, sweetie-

i know that she meant it in a general way, but the Possibility of kim cattrall and joan cusack going to high school together and somethin something Watching and Envying the pretty prom queen/world champion, something being tired of performing feminity something something short skirts something harsh realities of academia and pro sports careers / anywhere for women something. something something.

michelle kwan!! i did not remember her in this

forget georgina and hayden panettone, otp is hayden / ann . hann!! tutor trope!!!!

omg does joan cusack teach at a community college or a encceja type of thing . bitter moms plot thickens

zoey skated to toxic! queen.

i watched this movie so many times in the days i had it rented that i actually still remember a lot of the final programs choreos lmao

skate w the heart uwu

costume prettye

ah!! i used to try to copy the programsss thats why i know the moves LMAO the memories ,,, keep coming back to me

whats this gala lighting all of a sudden???

hann keeps on winning!! look at that hug!they left together! arms linked!!!!!!!

centering the mom daughter relationships is a :'''') for me

we stan nikki

dramedy centering on joan cusack and kim cattrall navigating georginas career

FEEL THE RAIN ON

YOUR

SKIN

NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOUU

this was nice :') its confirmed ive had good taste since toddler age 🤷

[punkrockinchairs]

So, I’m thinking about joining a church and as somebody who left the Catholic Church at 18 and only waves at it these days, there’s a lot of Huh? Going on in my mind. What's up with this urge?

!!! i’m so glad you like my readings enough to get another one 💖💖💖

so, i did a full ten-card celtic cross spread for this one, since the issues go a little deeper than a first date lmao. buuuuuut my deck seems to think ur fuckin awesome, so that’s the first thing to take away from this reading.

since this is a more complicated question & thus a more complicated spread, i’m gonna go over some general impressions first, then go through each card individually, and then talk abt the interactions btwn them!! under the cut bc it’s preeeeetty long lmfao

the way the celtic cross typically works is that it’s subdivided into a couple sections: the first two cards represent the querent (that’s you), the next four represent your state of mind, and the four after that represent external influences & suggestions. (biddytarot has a great how-to article abt reading this spread if u want a better/more specific idea of it.)

so first of all, i drew the fool for you again lmao, which leads me to believe you’re a person who is incredibly open to new ideas & experiences. also, it’s one of FIVE major arcana cards that i drew for this reading, which is rly rare (at least for me?? i usually get more face cards) but makes sense for a question like this one & also leads me to believe that you have incredible strength of character. secondly, i drew 3 cards from the suit of wands and drew 2 cards from cups (again, lmao) which suggests to me that you are a very compassionate idealist unafraid of taking action & making change.

the first card i drew, as i mentioned, was the fool. i told you before that it’s a card of possibility and adventure, and the fact that i drew it to represent you for this question is unsurprising to me—you’re thinking about making a Big change in your life and asking the hard questions. it seems to me that that’s a smart thing to do right now.

the second card in the celtic cross represents the challenge(s) you might be facing right now, and interestingly enough, i drew the tower here. it’s another card associated with change, but in a much more dramatic and specific sense than the fool. in this position it suggests to me—as you mentioned—that there was already a period of great change for you concerning religion, and it will likely be difficult for you again in the future—whether that’s a conflict of personal belief & church doctrine or something like difficulty finding the right place to worship remains to be seen.

the third card i drew, the knight of wands, represents your past in this spread. the suit of wands is traditionally associated with the element of fire, and thus with impulsivity and action (rather than pentacles, the suit of reason & logic, or cups, the suit of emotion and personal relationships). the court cards/face cards are interesting to interpret because they’re just as likely to represent a person (you or someone else) as they are an event or energy like other cards typically do (with some exceptions). in this case, given what you told me already, i would say that despite the fact that i drew it upright, it’s likely that it represents a figure of authority in your religious past—maybe a priest, but also potentially a relative or someone you knew through the church—who caused strife and difficulty in your relationship with religion, or the event or realization that caused you to leave the church when you did.

this card is indicative of the near future—not necessarily the outcome of your current course of action, but something that you will encounter soon no matter what you do. i drew judgement here, which, despite its scary name, is actually a very positive card! it indicates a period of self reflection—a sort of “come to Jesus” moment, if you will 😆—which is necessary to move forward in life. it seems to me to be suggesting that you take some serious time to think about your options before you make a decision; not necessarily that one option is right & one is wrong, but certainly that you should weigh them carefully & make sure to do what’s best/right for YOU.

the card in the top of the cross is said to stand for what you want out of your situation, and here i drew the three of cups. as i said before, cups is the suit of emotion and interpersonal relationships, and the threes of each suit tend to represent a coming together (though in different ways for each, lol). it seems to me that it’s important to you to have the community that a church or other religious organization can offer, and i would say that pursuing that is wonderful! (i personally am not super religious, but i’m in a choir at a local church for that exact reason. 😉)

the card at the bottom of the cross, conversely, represents not a goal but your subconscious mind—the things that drive or motivate you, or the reasons /why/ you do what you do. here i drew the page of wands, which is doubly interesting since i already drew the knight of the same suit! this card typically represents the spark of a new idea, before any action has been taken to realize it. the fact that i drew it in a position almost as opposite its knight as possible is a really interesting omen to me—it suggests that you are ready to move on from whatever it was that caused you to leave the church in the first place, and find or carve out a new place for yourself in a system; either the same one (catholicism) or one entirely new & different.

7: this card is the card of advice, and funnily enough, i drew the lovers! i mentioned in your last reading that it’s the most romantic card, and while that /is/ true, it also symbolizes relationships of all kinds. here and now in this reading, it suggests to me that now is EXACTLY the right time for you to build a new relationship with religion!

the eighth card in this spread is meant to tell about external influences that might be affecting your views, experiences, thoughts, actions; etc. here i drew the five of wands, which incidentally is one of the cards (besides the tower) that is truly representative of strife, difficulty, and change. it tells me that whatever conclusion you come to, it will be a long and arduous process to get there since you are coming to it from a place of—idk exactly what? mistrust? a feeling of betrayal, maybe? but whatever the case, you have a long and thoughtful road ahead.

i drew the strength card in the position associated with hopes and/or fears, which is both unsurprising and (imo) a positive omen! it’s a suggestion that, because of your experiences (with religion and otherwise), you have an unquenchable strength of spirit/will. no matter what happens, you have forever been affected or even changed by your relationship to religion—and for the better.

finally, i drew the queen of cups. the card in this last position is meant to represent the outcome of your current course, and the queen of cups is a figure of emotional maturity and compassion; the ability to find common ground with just about anyone. she suggests to me that, by thinking about this kind of thing, you are on the right path and may reach a kind of enlightenment—whether that means rejoining a church or just figuring our your own personal spirituality or belief system, thinking about those kinds of things is the right thing to do for yourself right now. of course, you may decide that it’s too much to handle at the moment, but the queen of cups tells me that no matter your decision or realization, you will likely make the healthiest, smartest choice for YOU, and that’s what really matters. 💜💜💜

sooooo, all that said, overall this reading says to me that, whatever your eventual choice, you’re on the right path. the fact that the outcome card (the queen of cups) is in harmony with your aspirations (the three of cups) and both your near future (judgement) and your hopes (strength) says to me that thinking about this, even with all of the “huh???” that it brings, is the right thing to do. if nothing else, it’s likely that you’ll learn & grow from this thought process, and your emotional maturity will only increase with whatever decision you make.

the fact that i drew FIVE cards from the major arcana is indicative of how Big and Serious this will be for you, so don’t worry if answers don’t come to you right away—take your time to REALLY think about the question you’re asking and the answer you want to receive, and know that whatever conclusion you come to, it will be the right one for the present time.

also, given the last reading i would say definitely continue to take care of yourself during this process!!! take a bubble bath once a week (or whatever) when you want to really think about this—surround yourself with positive energies and completely immerse yourself in the questions you have, because that is how you will find peace and understanding. 💖💖💖

[sstarkiid]

do all of the lovesick asks bitch. expose urself

wow, ok.

read more thing bc this is long and embarrassing

1: Do you have a current crush?

Two actually but who's counting

2: How long has your crush lasted?

Uhh a few months n then the other one is weird i can't answer that lmao

3: 5 songs that you have associated with your crush?

I'm……..not that sappy I can give u like one

Ice prince : Runaways by ATL

Space boy : Stars by Fun.

4: Do you think they've ever liked you back?

I mean. It's very likely.

5: Will you ever reveal your feelings to them?

Yea probably

6: What’s holding you back from making a move?

It's not that I haven't made a move but like. I am Fear.

7: Are you frightened by your feelings for them?

A lil

8: Do you think they could ever love you?

Maybe???? but i’m kind of an optimist

9: Do you love them?

Lol next question

10: Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't?

DEFINITELY. I CAN'T NAME ANYONE SPECIFICALLY BUT THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY YES.

11: Do you think anyone currently has a crush on you

...IT'S VERY LIKELY.

12: Ever had a crush on what you thought was a platonic friend?

Hi Jared

13: What would you do if your crush revealed they felt the same?

I'd probably need a second to process it but like probably hug ‘em idfk

14: Has your crush ever hurt you?

Nope!!!!

15: Have they made you cry by breaking your heart?

Nope!!!!!!!!!

16: Why do you like them?

Ice prince is fun to tease idk we go back n forth a lot but he's also a softie n listen he's dramatic enough to keep up w/ me

Space boy tells u like it is and he seems kinda scary or not,, nice at first maybe but he's actually also soft !!

They're also both hot as hell oh my god

17: Do you think you'll ever get over them?

I mean. If I had to I would but...  I don't WANT TO.

18: Do you have 1 specific song that is strongly associated with a certain memory or interaction with them?

Mmm not really?? Not yet?? It'll happen dw

19: The moment you knew you had feelings for them?

We both got scared of the firework finale on the 4th and I squeaked and he like held onto me n it was really funny n cute n I was just like “ok this is a thing now great”

Uhh I was doing the typical girl thing where I send screenshots of a conversation to a friend only the friend is his sister so………..i blame her it’s literally all her fault

20: What would they have to do for you to stop liking them?

Murder someone probably

Or y'know

Something equally as shitty n illegal

21: Have you ever fallen asleep with them?

Yea. Both. Napping is cool.

22: Held their hand?

Mmhm! Both but like that's not that weird

23: Kissed their cheek?

Yup. Both.

24: Kissed them on the lips?

Yeah. Both. Actually.

25: Gone down on them/ they've gone down on you?

N O P E

26: Had sex with them?

Nuh-uh.

27: Where on your body have they touched you?

This is…. A weird question I don't like it

28: Does their touch set your skin on fire?

Fire.

Ice prince.

Fire.

HM.

29: Do you get butterflies when they touch you?

Ok maybe

30: Do they make you smile like no one else can?

Y e a

31: Does their presence calm you?

Mmhmm.

32: Does it make you go crazy being around them and not 'being with' them?

Not… until recently but---

33: Are you friends with your crush?

Both of ‘em!

34: Have you always been friends?

Uhh I guess w/ Ice prince yes but not the other one

35: Last thing they messaged you about?

One was abt a dog, other one was abt coming over to hang out

36: Best phone call with them?

Hands down any call when I've been driving so I make my brother talk to them instead those are always fun

37: Last time you hung out with them?

I. I literally started answering this in one of their houses.

38: Ever been drunk together?

I DON'T DRINK

39: Fondest memory of them?

The fireworks show n then probs a few days ago when we just drove around n talked abt stuff

40: Ever made a mistake with them?

Mistake??????????? i don’t make those

41: Regretted not making a move?

Every day of my life but also I have literally kissed both of them so which is the truth

42: If you could go back in time to that moment, what would you do?

Nothing ‘cause I'm a big baby

43: Do you think that would change your current relationship with them?

Nope

44: If you could get a 100% honest answer from them, what 3 questions would you ask?

ok first FUCK THIS QUESTION

Ice prince

Do u. Actually wanna date or am I just the most gullible person ever

.......................so how do you feel about polyamory

Do u actually hate the puns or do u secretly enjoy them I need to know.

Space boy

Are you aware that you can literally text me for anything at any time?? Bc u should be

Were you ever afraid to talk to me?

Will you promise to talk to me before doing stupid shit so that at the very least i can tell u that ur an idiot,,, but like. affectionately.

45: Did they wish you Happy Birthday on your birthday?

My birthday is in like another month and I didn't know either of them really last year so they better

46: Have they ever tried to make a move?

?????????

Idk tbh

47: If so why did you miss it?

‘Cause I'm clueless as hell

48: Have they ever been infatuated with a friend of yours?

Don't think so

49: Are they single?

Lol yeah they're definitely single

50: Where were you when you felt the most for them?

IT'S ALWAYS WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING they both just look so cute n peaceful n I get all mushy n wanna protect them but I'm weak as hell so

51: Any specific place you associate with them?

Mmmm not really

52: Films that make you think about them?

Disney films in general

Marvel movies for Ice prince bc NERD

53: Have you picked up a habit because of them?

I don't think so but it's also not unlikely

54: What was your first impression of them?

Ice prince seemed antisocial and idk abt space boy we were like 5 yrs old technically so who knows man

55: Has it altered since then?

LMAO YES

56: Do you remember the first thing you talked about?

Probably musicals bc I can't shut up ever and he was confused

And uhhh no unless u mean like when we started hanging out bc it was candy

57: First time they touched you?

COLD

HE DID IT TO SPITE ME AND IT WAS FUNNY BUT IT WAS SO COLD HOW

And I'm 99% certain I made him high five me before we ever spoke bc I'm a nuisance

58: Have they ever lied to you?

Not that I know of

59: What are their eyes like?

Ohhhhh my GOD

really......clear?? that’s not like. a good way to describe em but u know when u look up at the sky and it’s like. wow there are no clouds!! n then u feel the breeze and it’s kinda cold but it’s not unpleasant it’s?? p nice??? like. that.

cool as FRICK like what the hell i’m actually jealous they’re a rly pretty nice shade n then suddenly it’s!!! different!!!! and it’s like!!!!!!!!!!!!! a surprise a v good surprise which is fitting u just gotta look a lil and he’s full of lil surprises

60: What are you most attracted to about them?

well,, for one they’re both hot as hell, so. that. in general.

if u know anything abt me i’m a sucker for pretty eyes

i also like the “soft but pretends to not be” because i think it’s cute they’re also really good to cuddle with

61: Can you see a future with them?

well i can’t see one without ‘em so something’s gotta give here right?

62: Have you sabotaged things between you two?

i freaking hope not

63: Why? What were you afraid of achieving? Love? Happiness? Content? Disappointment?

why does this thing assume you said yes to the above question that’s kinda rude

64: Could they make you happy?

already do

65: Do you dream about them?

if we’re friends and you haven’t appeared in one of my dreams and done smth weird or random are we actually friends??

side note does daydreaming count LOL

66: What's something that only you two do?

i don’t think i “gently bully” anyone nearly as much as i do ice prince also the only one who actually can cuddle w/ me properly in the summer i’m js

uuuummmm go on random drives in the middle of the night so tht zoe can make out w/ ppl instead of texting our sorry asses

67: Does liking them make you feel vulnerable?

you. have. no idea.

68: Have they ever given you anything?

food has definitely been exchanged and shared. i’ve stolen sweaters. uh.

69: Have they ever used you?

.........not that i’m aware of??

70: Have they abused and manipulated you due to your feelings for them?

nO WHAT TH E

71: Have you ever spent quite literally all day and night thinking about them?

that’s......a bit much i might be pathetic and somewhat desperate but like i do kinda have a life

72: Have you ever accidentally nearly walked into moving traffic cause you were thinking about them?

no but i’ve walked into walls because i was tired and thinking abt stuff so that’s a thing i probably have done

73: Ever worn anything knowing it would draw their attention to you?

YEAH LMAO I DO THAT ALL THE TIME IN GENERAL i like attention fight me

74: Have they ever made you feel so safe and content everything else slips away?

y e ah

75: Ever held you so close you could feel their heartbeat?

mmhmm

76: Truthfully do you think you belong together right now?

[taylor swift’s you belong with me playing in the distance]

77: Have they ever seen you completely vulnerable?

um. no.

78: Do you trust them?

i would trust all of my friends with my life

79: When you see them what feelings are strongest?

i just get?? really happy n i turn into a little kid i swear to god how does he put up with me

n he makes me feel really calm n content n just. good. u know.

80: Are they in love or interested in someone else?

d e a r l o r d i h o p e n o t

81: If they asked you to kiss them, would you?

in a heartbeat

82: Will they be in your life a year from now?

they BETTER BE

83: A moment where you so nearly gave into your feelings for them and did something about it?

i have literally kissed both of them and not because of dares what kind of,,

84: Do they know you have feelings for them?

i’m not exactly,,, subtle

85: Do you have a favourite picture with them?

no but i have favorite pictures of them

86: Your ideal date with them?

hey. concept. a double date. but like. instead of 2 couples it’s just me w/ both of them wow

87: What's their name?

it’s rly obvious that i’m talking about porter and connor fuck you

88: Have you ever been in their room?

i’ve been in connor’s but porter n i mostly chill other places

89: Shared a secret with them?

yeah but it’s not a secret if i tell the internet now is it?

90: Have they ever made you a promise and broken it?

don’t think so

91: Have they ever disappointed you?

nope!

92: Whats the most problematic thing about them, which you overlook due to your feelings for them?

uh. idk. porter’s kinda closed off to other people at first i guess that could be problematic. i’m patient w/ that shit so it doesn’t bug me as much idk

general relationships or lack thereof w/ other ppl tbh for both of them i think 

93: Have you ever had to compete for their affection?

no

94: For as long as they're in your life could you handle just being friends?

that’s what i do with p much everyone else but another way to approach this is if u couldn’t be together would u shut them out and the answer is no?? bc that’s kinda shitty

so yes

95: Ever looked for a sign to make a move?

every?? single second of every day but once again i have literally kissed both of them uh

96: What's standing in your way from being with them?

general anxiety

a single conversation

...lmao

97: Would you let them use you for sex?

this implies that,, they don’t care abt me and only themselves n they’re not really?? like that so?? it wouldn’t happen like that??

realistically knowing myself i wanna say no but i probably would which is Not Good i know

98: Ever had a bad feeling about them that's screaming for you to get out while you still can?

no. like. literally the opposite. wtf

99: If you could go back in time, would you avoid ever meeting them?

NEVER

100: You have 1 wish about them, what would you wish for?

that porter finds someone who makes him feel warm n fuzzy on the inside even if it’s not me

n for connor that one day everything is stable and everything is ok

anyway hey jared U SUCK

[demoisellebeauty]

It seems I have been tagged by my partner in crime @princebete to write a shitty explanation of my character so AWAAAY WE GO

Hello, my name is Belle which means “beauty” and damn did my parents have good foresight because I’m a banging piece of ass. Or well when I say parents I mean my dad since my mom was brutally murdered by the company that made this movie for the sole reason that she is my mom and I’m not allowed to have a mom except to have her memories make my dad angsty and shit because if there’s one thing that really needed explanation it was the reason that I’m living in a village? Not really a question I had as I’m more interested in wondering why I can’t have a mom but what are you gonna do?

Anyways this village is pretty much the French equivalent of Hicksville, probably including the incest for all I know. Like we’re talking ultra conservative “women who wear their hair down are going to the Devil” type people. So obvs they don’t like the fact that I’m literate even tho let’s be real they’re probably also jelly of my mad skills at simultaneous reading and walking without bumping into shit. I got that fucking mastered and I’d like to see you try it and look as fly as I do. And I really just wanna get the fuck outta here but because I have a dad who’s dangerously close to blowing up himself and our house at any given moment I don’t have a lot of choice. Also we’re poor and if you’re poor you’re kinda fucked if you’re not spending every waking moment working your ass off.

It doesn’t help that there’s this fuckboi named Gaston who doesn’t know the meaning of “you ain’t getting NONE of this.” Damn jerk always throwing my books in the mud, do you know how expensive books are in this time period? Ass. And then he talks some shit about how women shouldn’t be reading and thinking and I’m like... ew. Like Gaston’s pretty hot but if his looks are a 9 out of 10 his personality is a 0. And I’m a pretty modern girl for my time, right? Like I’m all about women’s rights so it REALLY fucking sucks to be stuck in a time period where all they want you to do is get married and pop out babies until you die of the plague.

So I’m pretty damn happy that Dad’s finally got his amazing if probably lethal judging from how it can either chop you into pieces or give you a concussion invention and he goes off to a convenient fair so that we can get rich and get the fuck out of this place leaving me by myself which, really? You couldn’t take me with just this once? I know we got a farm to take care of and all but you remember fuckboi Gaston? BARGES THE FUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND PROPOSES TO ME, AFTER GETTING MUD ON ANOTHER ONE OF MY BOOKS. Did I mention he already had the wedding set up because he didn’t think there was any way I would say no? What a douche. NOT TO MENTION THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW HE HASN’T PICKED UP ON THE FACT THAT GETTING MUD ON MY BOOKS DOES NOT TURN ME ON.

After very literally dumping fuckboi in the dirt Philippe just HAS to interrupt my wistful longings for a better life to let me know that Dad somehow managed to fuck up a simple trip to the fair meaning that I have go and find him.

Naturally, my Dad just HAD to turn out to be in a spooky haunted castle straight out every gothic novel ever ruled by a giant ass talking and rly extra dramatic buffalo-lion thing that’s fugly as hell. I don’t know at the time whether he’s actually a giant animal or just a furry but both options are not ideal. I end up promising fugly buffalo-lion guy that I’ll stay in exchange for dad’s freedom and he agrees only for the asshat to drag my dad out without even letting me get to say goodbye smh. But I barely have time to think about that before it turns out that to make the castle even creepier, a shitton of the furniture is alive and walking and talking and it’s horrifying in a “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream” kind of way. It’s really messed up when you try to think about what that must be like. But that said, dancing plates makesfor great dinner theatre, Toby’s should hire these guys.

Once I’m done with dinner I sneak out into the West Wing. Yeah, buffalo-lion guy said not to but I DO WHAT I WANT OK. And I mean yeesh if he’d wanted me to stay out of his room, maybe he should have told me that it was his room instead of forbidding it. Guy was asking for someone to come a-knocking. But damn, his room is more trashed than the aftermath of the worst frat boy party you’ve ever seen but hey, at least there’s a portrait of some random but hella fine dude but oh wait, there’s a pretty glowing floating rose that’s pretty obviously magic so I do what any reasonable person would do and try to touch said shiny floaty flower.

Of course I nearly shit myself when buffalo guy just comes in out of nowhere and starts screaming at me for invading his man cave (beast cave?) and tells me to gtfo I’m like “I can do that. I’m noping out, that’s it. im out bitches” Except maybe it wasn’t a brilliant idea to ride a horse out into a blizzard and thick woods filled with starving wolves. Thankfully buffalo guy saves me before dramatically collapsing and making me having to drag his ass back to his castle. Do you have any idea how much that guy weighs? It’s a good thing I work out cause I was this close to giving up. Its around then that I start to realize Buffalo guys (who’s name I never catch for whatever reason) might look scary but he’s actually just a large hairy man child and once he gets his shit together he’s not that bad a guy I guess.

Course it doesn’t hurt that he gave me a whole library. definitely turns me on more than dropping my book into mud. Not that buffalo guy turns me on but like he’s nice, you know, actually kind of sweet but im not thinking about him that way ya nasties. except ok maybe a little cause like we had this dance and everything and it got really sensual and idk what would’ve happened if I hadn’t cockblocked us by wondering about dad. Which, turns out buffalo guy (how do I still not know his name?) has a magic mirror that shows you shit (and I really hope he hasn’t been using it to look at me at certain times in the evening cause usually around then im either singing off key in the shower or masturbating over weird kinky beast sex).

dad’s in trouble fucking AGAIN cause the poor guy can’t go ten minutes without me around to bail out his ass and Buffalo guy lets me know and its really nice but I friendzone him for the moment and out to find dad and take him to the village instead of the castle where we might find better medical care and comfortable conditions for him. not one of my greatest ideas I admit. Things still would’ve been if only GASTON MCFUCKBOI hadn’t come to fuck everything up by trying to extort me into marrying him by throwing my dad into the insane asylum, which yes, he’s a little insane but like I’m into bestiality so... I can’t judge him. I try to wipe the smile off fuckboi’s face by proving buffalo guy exists only... now fuckboi wants to kill buffalo guy so I kinda fucked up . 

I eventually get back to the castle just in time to save buffalo guy only not really because GUESS WHO FUCKS ITS UP FOR EVERYONE? if you guessed fuckboi you’d be right cause he just goes full Shakespeare and stabs buffalo guy right before falling to his death, which sucks maybe but I’m more sad about buffalo guy (SERIOUSLY WHAT’S HIS NAME) dying before I could tell him that I was up for kinky beast sex but instead of that I just tell him I love him.

Then I swear it was like I had an acid trip or something because Buffalo guy suddenly starts floating and glowing and going through a magical girl transformation into the hella fine dude from that portrait in his room and- ooooooh I get it he was cursed it was super obvious, you’d think a smart girl like me would’ve caught on to something like that but I guess not. 

But the good news is that buffalo guy is human so I don’t have to worry about being into bestiality and we kiss and there are actual literal fireworks which is awesome and there’s something about a spell or whatever idk but i’m more concerned with asking WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR REAL NAME SO I CAN SCREAM IT IN BED.

But yeah we live happily ever after and all that jazz cause I’m a princess now and don’t have to do my own shit anymore. Moral of the story is find a hairy sugar daddy cause he’ll turn out to be secretly hot and not mind your weird kinks.

TAGGING: all the shitty muses