#i know it is soft but it is even softer in the anime

[koji-haru]

Sweet Dreams, Adam

[Perfect combo with this.]

The kiss of the early sun had never been kinder, the hug of the morning breeze never been softer, the songs of the waking birds never been sweeter, and before Adam knew it, he had awoken back in paradise.

Everything was as he had remembered; flora that remained evergreen, never knowing the concept of decay; animals in playful harmony, the spilling of blood never crossing their thoughts; waters so clear and crisp, untouched by the filth and grime of the quotidian earthly life; and food so fresh and abundant that the humans of the garden never knew of hunger and hardship. As soon as Adam began to move, he felt a familiar weight on his back, one that had journeyed with him for over countless millennia – his beautifully golden wings. A confirmatory hand reached over to the top of his head, and he was right, a cool ring floated above his head – his halo. And now that he had finally fully got his bearings did he realise that he was wearing robes, white and gold and lilac, one he normally wore on the daily. Loose robes, a glowing halo and large golden wings, Adam wasn’t a human in the garden anymore, he was an angel. 

No matter how hard he tried, searching every nook and cranny of his brain, no memory prior to this arrived in Adam’s mind. Nothing at all, not even a hint as to how he managed to return to Eden. Adam looked around the garden, despite the life teeming freely in here, it also seemed so empty and quiet; missing the loudly cheerful voices that used to freely roam and explore everything their soft, unmarred hands could reach and touch. Where was Eve? Her striking appearance was not something to be easily missed, nor her loud exuberance. Or Lilith, who often sought places such as this in the garden, where everything was still and calm. It was as if the garden was empty; not even a sign of odd temporary creations, colourful magics or the tune of a fast paced instrument. Even he didn’t seem to be here.

Or at the moment he wasn’t anyway. Because as soon as Adam decided to get up and explore this oddly empty garden, a voice called out to him with a cheer that hadn’t been directed to him in an uncountable amount of time. 

“Adam!!” A cheerful voice and a speedy fluttering of white and red was all the warning Adam got before he got captured in a tight and excited hug, pushing him back down to sit on the grass. “I missed you so much!! Sorry I haven’t been around lately.” 

Lucifer hugged and nuzzled what he then believed was the most perfect creation of God, his top hat forgotten on the grass. Only when he finally pulled back did he notice something was amiss with his human. Confusion immediately formed in his features in the shape of furrowed brows and a tilt of his head. He blinked once, then twice, then thrice letting go of the grip he had on Adam’s shoulders briefly before grasping onto them once more, even tighter this time as his ruby eyes widened with both surprise and amazement. “Adam!! Since when did you become an angel?!”

It had been so long since Lucifer had behaved this way towards Adam that could only find himself stunned into silence as the playful angel eagerly examined his supposedly ‘new appearance’. Touching his halo, feeling his wings, even examining the fabrics of his robe, before moving onto his face, turning his head side to side, absorbing every new detail. 

Lucifer gently ran his thumb just under Adam’s eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Your eyes are still as pretty as when you first opened them.”

It was then that Adam unfroze from his stupor and pushed the smaller angel away from, the curious touches a softly painful wake up call to the life he had led after the garden. “Don’t touch me like that, I don’t like it,” he mumbled out, a slight frown on his face.

Lucifer looked hurt at Adam’s rejection of him, and a part of Adam wanted to comfort him, say he was sorry and that he didn’t mean it, but Lucifer’s presence itself already felt like a stab in his heart, salt in a festering wound that simply refused to heal. And so, he kept his words to himself lest he would end up saying things he couldn’t take back. 

“Sorry,” apologised Lucifer, still trying to keep his smile, though it was faltering. “So. You’re an angel now, huh? How did that happen? Wow…,” he chuckled nervously, afraid that Adam, who was now part of Heaven, had also begun to dislike him. 

Adam wasn’t sure what compelled him to answer somewhat truthfully, but he did so without a second thought. “I lived a full life outside the garden, died and then became an angel.” He turned to fully face Lucifer, holding his gaze. “That’s all.”

“Um…but I visited you just two sunsets ago??,” asked Lucifer with a confused smile. “Your life couldn’t have gone that quickly.”

“Why do you even care?,” Adam groaned, annoyed at the perceived pretence of care. He remembered all those times when Lucifer would apologise to him for being ‘too busy’ to play with him only to find him spending all his time with Lilith. It hurt Adam a lot, but what hurt more was the fact that Lucifer couldn’t even be honest with him. He could take rejection, he could accept the truth, just not betrayal. “Shouldn’t you be with Lilith anyway?”

“Lilith? Who’s that?”

“Quit fucking with me,” Adam hissed. 

“I– Huh? I don’t really understand…” Lucifer sat back on his heels, timidly twiddling with his fingers as he looked randomly all over the grass, eyes avoiding Adam’s. A heavy sadness weighed on his chest as he slowly began to accept the fact that the only person who seemed to like him and his ideas now disliked him too. “...sorry, I–”

“I don’t hate you, okay?,” Adam quickly cut in once he realised this was truly his best friend, still untainted by betrayal and lies. The one he shared his happiest memories with, the one he wished he could have spent eternity with, his unattainable dream. “Life just hasn't been so easy. Sorry.”

A small smile returned on Lucifer’s lips, as he breathed out a small sigh of relief knowing that Adam didn’t hate him. He moved closer and sat beside Adam, a comforting hand on his shoulder. He, too, had hard days; Heaven wasn’t always welcoming of strange new ideas, and the feeling of isolation in a place full of people simply struck especially painfully. “You can spill your feelings out to me if you want.”

“I…I’ve made so many mistakes.” Adam looked down, tears threatening to form in his eyes. Something about returning to the very beginning, when things were simpler and nothing was wrong, brought out the sensitivities he had long killed and buried deep within him. It came back in rushing waves, ready to overwhelm him with memories of what used to be, and projections of what could’ve been. Nostalgia and pain swirling and mixing together into a messy concoction that wore down the walls he had painstakingly built throughout the millennia. “And so many things I can’t ever get back to…”

Suddenly, a softness with all the care in the world wrapped around him – six wings, two slender hands, and eyes that held him ever so tenderly. “But you’ve made it, right? Look, you’re an angel! Just like me!”

And then the dam broke. Tears flowed down heavily from Adam’s eyes, years of buried pain and regrets gushing out in uncontrollable waves. “I just missed you so much..!,” he cried, hugging Lucifer tightly back, afraid to ever let go for fear that he would lose him again. “When you left…I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue anymore…”

“Oh Adam…,” Lucifer cooed, lifting Adam’s face up to try and wipe his tears away.

“Without you…life was just so much more difficult..!,” Adam continued to sob, letting all of his pain out. 

“Ssshh, I’m here now,” whispered Lucifer as he placed a gentle kiss on Adam’s forehead. “I won’t leave you,” he promised while cupping Adam’s face, sincere devotion in his eyes.

Adam kept his words to himself, knowing the true hollowness of that promise, but for now, he decided to turn a blind eye to that so that he could bask in this comfort, temporary as it may be. Because as of now, it wasn’t a lie, not when it was still the two of them together. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me,” Lucifer continued. “But I’m proud of you for staying so strong. I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been.”

“You could never…,” Adam whimpered, half replying to what Lucifer said, half implying something else.

…

…

…

The pinkish rays of Heaven’s first rays filtered through the curtains of Adam’s room, no kind kiss from it; nor was there a soft hug from the morning breeze blocked by glass panes; the early birds sang a song that brought nothing but a buzzing background noise; and before Adam knew it, he had awoken back in Heaven face wet with things that he wished could’ve been.

“You could never…”

---

[I told you it would happen again @twost3ps, so this was somewhat a reverse of the previous one.]