#i know im being a bitch about it for autism's sake but. i really dont get it.

[autism-corner]

of course as soon as i figure something out it gets taken away from me.

[gayspock]

spock for the character ask!

OMG THANK YOU!!!

1: sexuality headcanon (taps the url) 2: otp him and kirk. girlie, there simply isnt a question abt it!!!! literally idk what tf is up with my brain, these days.... like idk when it comes to ships im usually more passive tbh (like i’ll be like <3 yaaay good for these gays) but spirk sent me insane for some god damn reason. bless <3 anyways

3: brotp i havent seen aos yet but i rlly do love him and miss nyota being besties... AGAIN i think. hm. like if i ever see aos, my opinion of tht might change? bc i do think they could be compatible IN a romantic sense, if you remixed both their characters but... REALLY dont know if that specific nuance is actually met in aos, and so from my total tos perspective: they BESTIES!

BUT i also rlly like AUs where he’s besties with t’pring&stonn. i think (the latter especialy) that is in part a reactionary thing: i find it funny, but i ultimately dont rlly Care for stonn&t’pring being depicted as one note, antagonistic forces or points of drama in fics... and so seeing the converse of tht is sth i just find nice and refreshing as hell and a far more interesting thing to explore, u kno wht i mean??? yah<3

4: notp hrgrhh. i cant think of..... a specific one. like, there’s deffo shit i’d turn my nose up at: but i see it so rarely, it hardly seems worthy of a remark, u kno wht i mean? i guess spock/pike? i’ve seen that a bit and i dont like that at all. OH WAIT. DOES.... SHIPPING SPOCK PRIME WITH AOS KIRK COUNT?OH BABE I HATE THAT. I DONT LIKE THAT ONE!!!!!!  

5: first headcanon that pops into my head i will be fair and honest with u i am not necessarily a headcanons kinda guy (where do you bitches get thoughts from! what the fuck!)  so im all empty i think. hm. h- hey? WAIT NO, i was thinking of this earlier actually-. i dont think my man likes flowers and this is technically a spirk headcanon but u KNO in the man trap. kirk is like “pick some flowers” and he picks fucking GRASS or some bollocks. yeah i think thats bc spock doesnt necessarily find flowers themselves that pretty but whatever the fuck (grass? is it fucking GRASS?) appeals to him. unsure of specifically why, but... maybe its due to vulcan & what grows more abundantly there (which could very well change what is used and for when). i dont know shite about shit when it comes to lore. maybe using grass or whatever the fucj tht is to actually weave and make shit with is a thing on vulcan. babe dont ask me.... im npt the headcanons man. i just think its funny if everyone looks at kirk like he’s a weirdo for parading around a bouquet of fucking grass and when he presents it to spock he’s just like stoically enchanted.

6: favorite line from this character favouRITE LINE? LINE? CHRIST. BABE HOW CAN ONE EVEN CHOOSE YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME DIZZY WITH THE COICES. I DONT KNOW. I DONT REMEMBR WORDS. COME BACK TO ME LATER. PROBABLY WHATEVER I FIND FUNNIEST IN THE MOMENT.

7: one way in which I relate to this character autism...... mixed.... gay...... gender or whatever... (i cant talk abt specifics im too queasy with embarassment bc like fucks sake spock is one of those where its like. yah the shit i relate to is TOO embarrassing to drag out specifically babe so sit with THIS)

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character SCREAM ive said it before but journey to babel when FUCKING... HIS PARENT SWALK IN AND THEY BLANK HIM. MAYBE ITS NOT SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT PER SE, BUT THAT EVOKES SUCH A VISCERAL REACTION. I CANT. ITS TOO REAL, MISTER SPOCK, ITS TOO REAL! HAVE MY HEAD IN MY HANDS AND SHIT. also ALSO not second hand embarrassment but when my king turns up in tmp in THAT goth getup???? like i AM in awe, i guess- so i guess it worked and  hence why its not embarrassment but i........ really do have to sit there and have a little okay, mister spock. okay. to myself and smirk because he really didd do that. like he REALLY did bring all that drama, get that little makeover just to show up and act like he was unbothered. ALL this effort to appear EFFORTLESS. OKAY spock! however you want to act. im screamin. drama queen.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? cant cope with this question. spock has never done anything wrong in his life. he’s a little cunt sometimes but it;s literally always justified and respectable so literally whatever you know.  like he deserves it and stuff <3

[chilledplantmum]

I’m so sorry I have to write this:

And again this is a complication of 100’s stories I have been witness too:

IF YOU FEEL TRIGGERED OR FEEL SIMILAR IN ANYWAY YOU DESERVE BETTER YOUR LIFE MATTERS YOU DESERVE BETTER!

Help numbers:

Life line: 13 11 14

Men’s help line: 1300 789 978

Beyond blue: 1300 22 4636

1800 RESPECT

Kids helpline: 1800 55 1800

And

CONTENT WARNING: suicide, mental health, abuse of women and children, death, rape, sexual assault, racism, ableism, sexism, homophobia.

Male manager walks into his males CEO’s office:

MM: Hey mate I need to take a week off I’m really struggling.

CEO: why?

MM: it’s personal

CEO: I’m your CEO your personal life takes a back burner to your leadership in the company.

MM: there are two other managers that can fill my spot.

CEO: one has legitimate medical certificate one is taking annual leave.

MM: to be honest it’s just a week I’ve trained my team well enough to take my role for a week.

CEO: you mean the old black man, the up and coming rainbow boy, or the 20 something piece of ass.

MM: no they’re my team they are just as qualified as I am.

CEO: mate you know black men die younger? I think he has a drinking problem what if Carks it?

MM: please don’t talk about him like that he taught me everything I know.

CEO: or the young guy with rainbows on his t-shirt and pictures of kissing another man on his desk? That bloke doesn’t know if he’s a man or a woman.

MM: please don’t talk about him like that he is dating one of my best mates.

CEO: and don’t you dare tell me that 20yo blonde bimbo is as qualified as you the only reason I let you hire her coz she’s got the person tit to arse ratio.

MM: breaks down in tears

CEO: oh for fucks sake man! Get your shit together. The only man who cries is a pussy.

MM: sir I need a week off please I’m so tired, my dog died this week and my wife’s pregnant and due soon, she’s throwing up every day and still being an amazing mum.

CEO: are you joking! your dog? Boy, I used to live on a farm we used to shoot animals for fun! What are you a fucking vegan!

MM: what about my wife?

CEO: pfft she’s got it easy I wish I could stay home all day and watch tv and do nothing.

MM: but she’s so sick and my toddler is really energetic and needs a lot of attention.

CEO: what kind of father are you? Kids should be seen and not heard, if you can’t get control then your a lazy father.

MM: but he has autism.

CEO: you know what autism is an excuse for bad parenting in my day we gave them kids the belt.

MM: the specialist said that could traumatize him.

CEO: Okay, but you still can’t take a week off.

MM: Can I apply for annual leave?

CEO: I need two weeks to notice, no

MM: sir I’m really not okay, I’m feeling overwhelmed and suicidal.

CEO: suicidal, you should man up it’s not like you fought in the war.

MM: please.

CEO: NO! You can either be grateful for everything I do for you or quit, you’re choice

MM: alright.

MM comes home.

WIFE: Ohh Hunny thank god you're home! Our toddler is in hysterics!

MM: alright I’ll watch a movie with him. Is it okay if I have a nap first?

WIFE: Are you kidding? You don’t know what tired is!

MM: Okay, Hunny.

MM calls his best freind.

BF: hey bro!

MM: dude I’m soo bloody tired my CEO dragged me through the coals today.

BF: you think that’s bad? My brother in law had his jaw broken on the weekend for getting drunk and starting a fight with a security guard at the club!

MM: the man he always gets so violent when he’s drunk.

BF: I know the man but it’s so funny! The dude looks like buzz lightyear! He got a concussion and looks like an old man who’s had a stroke! Man, you gotta see it I made a meme about it!

MM: hey man my wife’s calling out for help she can’t put her socks on because she’s so big now!

BF: Oh dude I’m so sorry her stomach will look like a deflated sack of potatoes, must be like trying to climb a mountain for sex.

MM: man let’s not get into lockerroom talk right now.

BF: dude you sound like a girl. You know if you just grab her buy the pussy and shove it in. That fix how tired you are. Once you're done sit down with a beer and wait for her to make you dinner.

MM: I’m really tired I gotta go.

BF: a man you’re no fun anymore know you’re connected to the ball and chain.

MM: okay man I’ve really gotta go.

BF: bro you’ve got no balls, stop being a snowflake.

MM: takes deep breathe let’s put sigh.

WIFE: oh Hunny you look so sick are you okay?

MM: I think I’m coming down something.

WIFE: alright I’ll make dinner lie down and rest.

MM: I think I need to quit my job.

WIFE: your CEO again?

MM: Yup.

WIFE: why do you let him treat like that?

MM: because I need to support you and the kids I don’t want to lose my job.

WIFE: do you want me to call him and say that our kids sick?

MM: DONT YOU THINK I TRIED THAT! JUST STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH! IM TIRED JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

WIFE: okay hun go to bed you look sick and need a rest. I love you.

MM: love you too. I’m so tired.

Late that night MM goes to the liquor cabinet and drinks to try to sleep.

Feels overwhelmed sees the gun in the safe next to the cabinet.....

NEWSPAPER THE NEXT DAY

WIFE PUSHES GOOD BLOKE TO THE EDGE PREGNANT WOMAN FOUND DEAD WITH TODDLER IN ARMS.

CEO AND BESTFRIEND: He was the best bloke I knew I never saw it coming he never told me. She was yelling at him a lot lately I just didn’t think he would ever snap, it must have been a nasty fight. You see women abuse men too.

[blatherkatt]

i just started reading your blumenthal kids reunionfic and i LOVE IT! Its so good and so full of potential and angst and I LOVE IT!!!💞💞💞 The way you write Eodwulf is soooo good hes such a mess and so gay help him. and Astrid Omg... I cant wait for more of her i checked out some of your posts on here and shes just great??? You've clearly put a lot of thought into them with the child designs and stuff, did you have any major inspo for the two of them like songs or other characters and stuff???

hey tumblr dont…delete part of my answer what the heck

anyway!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, ed ( @tactfulgrimalkin ) is the one doing the actual writing but we plan everything together and i edit and do artwork so he deserves lots of love for the great writing…i dont remember what else i had here before tumblr deleted it so i hope thats the gist of it 

eodwulf is a gay disaster of a bastard man and astrid is SO fun and im SO GLAD UR EXCITED TOO BECAUSE WE SURE ARE

anyway you just opened pandora’s box and i’m very sorry for the length of the rest of this answer but here we go prepare for some cursed content necessary to answer that question ( | ) w ( | ) it was a Wild Ride getting these two characters to where they are boy howdy 

so the thing is in order to explain how we created these characters i actually have to get into the origins of the fic on the whole because the two are inextricably linked, and also, the origins of this fic are incredibly cursed and you can send all ur hatemail right here go on blast us we’re ready 

but we were talking about caleb and how we’re both excited for whenever astrid and eodwulf turn up, and the thought came up for basically the rough skeleton of that scene in chapter 2: 

“hey how messed up would it be if instead of them both hunting him down like we’re expecting…one of them comes in with a huge savior complex and sincerely thinks he’s delusional and should still be in the asylum, how MESSED UP would that be” 

…and then shortly after that, this happened 

thats the cursed part dont say i didnt warn u but listen you know we’re right

also that pic of caduceus didnt exist back then i went back and got this screenshot just to share the curse with you all

ANYWAY

in classic us format we got carried away and eodwulf got slotted into the role of that scene in chapter two and his character was largely developed around that scene, like, what kind of person would still be clinging to caleb after all this time to that degree to make that happen? and what was come up with was an extremely avoidant person clinging to a fantasy version of things wherein they don’t have to fight

(eodwulf was developed into a Person before astrid, i should note at this point, and ed did most of that developing; i took point on astrid later on)

but around this time i went “screw it im gonna do some concept art we’re both in too deep now” so here’s some of that for u guys 

started with them all as teens and did a couple sketches as well as one of baby (well. teen. so baby) caleb/bren/we were calling him felix at the time as some of u probably already know 

first draft had astrid with longer hair than eodwulf lmao check this out 

flipped the hair length on those two which was for the best because at the time we were imagining eodwulf as a bit more mischevious which is another thing that got reversed over time now astrids the prankster and eodwulfs the overworked mom friend because bren takes astrid’s ideas and makes them SO MUCH WORSE but he still looks better with longer hair and then i played around w/ colors for a while and wound up w/ this

voila, the initial kid concepts, to which subtle yet vital changes were  made after time. if any of you are curious about if im frustrated that that’s still the best i’ve ever drawn eodwulf’s nose the answer is yes. yes i am. 

astrid’s hair is not messy enough, theres not enough freckles, and she does not look ready to fight the entire world for a dare. 0/10. 

anyway then i did adult versions which look WAY OFF NOW LMAO 

eodwulf with way too much beard, looking far too messy when he ought to look very clean so that he can hide how much of a disaster he actually is, and also a glimpse into the very boring Ice Queen/Heartless Bitch we vaguely had astrid as to start with. even more out of character tho is the earring, astrid as she is today would absolutely never tolerate an earring unless she absolutely had to, girl’s got sensory issues but she didn’t back then. ALSO STILL NOT ENOUGH FRECKLE 

anyWHO a while after this it was decided that eodwulf has ADHD, something both the authors have a whole lot of lmao, and that was the point where ed REALLY took off and developing eodwulf went out of control and we both went Well I Guess We’re Gonna Have To Write This At Some Point Now

and with that happening is when developing astrid took more priority i think, because man, at that point in the game she came way too close to that really  annoying trope that shows up in fanfic a lot wherein The Girl is A Bitch who is Getting In The Way Of ~*The Yaois*~ and thats like, thats bad. we knew from the outset we were absolutely not setting this up as a love triangle because we both hate those but even w/ her having no romantic relationship to either of the two, like…she was kind of just There and the one who was most loyal to trent (the only thing of her original characterization that really stuck, honestly) and sooo boring???? 

so like, and i say this honestly, i managed to COMPLETELY FORGET that “reverse sasuke” cursed comment from the beginning of all this and STILL go “well what if we made her more like caleb’s rival that’d be fun” 

and that’s how astrid sorta wound up accidentally morphing into the Scrappy Underdog of this anime trio and calling her a naruto analogue is extremely cursed but also not inaccurate tbh 

started out with the concept of her popping into bren’s window because she heard they were doing magic and wanted to learn it too and evolved from there; we decided that she was gonna be neurodivergent too but, hilariously, initially that she was “the best at pretending to be neurotypical” (WE COMPLETELY REVERSED THAT AND IT IS FOR THE BETTER. SHE’S SO MUCH MORE FUN NOW) and made her also autistic because it one meant she could be like SAME HAT at bren really hard which’d make her feel more like part of the group instead of just the odd one out, and two because it fits with the whole rivals thing

branching off of that we made her just. INCREDIBLY direct. like. astrid’s thought process is “how can i accomplish what i want accomplished with the smallest number of steps? what are the consequences of doing it this way? do i give a shit? no? im gonna do that.” 

(which is why she climbed a tree to get into bren’s attic instead of using the door because that way she just completely skipped having to convince his mom to let her in)

i cant get into it much here because so many spoilers and we’re gonna explore it all, but like, astrid’s backstory turned into this exploration of the intersection of sexism and ableism especially as applied to a medieval-esque society in which the word “autism” doesn’t even EXIST and in which a convenient double standard exists Right There in the form of bren and like,, its gonna be good guys im excited for it 

as far as characters tho she does also have just a touch of Vimes from discworld to her, albeit like, she’s lawful evil to his lawful good, but she’s got the same tendency to stick REALLY FIERCELY to the rules that she thinks are important, even when they inconvenience her, even if it’d be so much easier to bend them just this once 

and for songs i cannot link like any astrid songs because they all might accidentally give away so much BUT I CAN LINK AN EODWULF SONG 

this one was HUGE for him 

uhhhh i think that’s everything i can think of that we can say right now unfortunately so i’ll end this with a comparison to the current teen designs we have now that are being used in the actual fic, even tho im not fond of how bren came out in this picture, but like, for the sake of comparison 

lets see how far we’ve come 

I N C R E A S E    F R E C K L E 

[terryblycute]

2020

overall this year was bad. bad, just like any other, how its always been, so nothing special. im writing this because my memory is getting worse and worse, and im sick of not remembering

corona lowkey annoying cuz i couldnt visit my friends on new years eve, but other than that everythings the same. on a positive note i didnt have to work as much either, and on a negative note i didnt get as much money. but thats alright.

((rude, unempathetic rant incoming. i know what im about to say is stupid but its my feelings and i want to talk about it regardless. if anyones reading, skip this)) what HAS been bothering me the most about corona is all the „2020 bad“ memes and people legitimately complaining about it. cuz like... nothing has changed. every year is horrible. it always has been. every year innocent people die, and nobody can do anything about it. of course i feel horrible for the people who lost their income/housing or family members because of it, and they have all the rights to complain... but lets be honest. none of the people i talk to were affected in any way by it. and the majority of people i hear talking about it havent lost their family/friends or homes to it either. its just a mild inconvenience to them, not being able to party without being arrested or seeing their friends or some shit. boo hoo, im alone all the time and never see any of my friends either and at this point im completely love & touch starvated regardless of corona. get over it

so... corona things out of the way, ive started thinking about my mental illnesses & trauma... A LOT. ive never thought about it all that much, because critical thinking is not something im able to do, usually. ive been reading lots of comix of people talking about/depicting mental illness, so i guess that kind of inspired and changed something in me, if i like it or not.

well, it turns out there is a shitton to unpack. i mean, ive always known there is so much wrong with me... but i was never really aware, if that makes sense. im still in the dark about most things, but its all coming together, little by little. i dont want to put my finger on anything, because im dumb, but at this point im 100% sure autism/aspergers isnt the only thing i got. far from it, in fact.

ive also learned that a lot of things in my life have left me with genuine, significant trauma, which ive never really realized before. i just thought the way i react to some things is cuz im, yknow... a whiny bitch. to name a few things:

me getting defensive/snappy when people of „authority“ (family, caretakers, doctors) ask me if im tired, how late i went to bed etc bc it is indirectly tied to why i was forced into psychiatry & the abuse i had to suffer there

fight or flight response activating when people talk about being in support of outdoor cats (i dont even want to fucking elaborate. tl;dr: my cat was almost killed by outdoor cat people and would be dead now if i hadnt gotten my shit together and worked hard on getting my own apartment, where he is safe. ive recieved no support & only been demonized during this time). this is a genuine fucking trigger

my rocky relationship with my mother and my thoughts about her, who is a genuinely good person, but managed to fuck me over, rip my entire ass apart and ruin my life regardless. also her lowkey restrictive/controlling upbringing stunting me for life

my huge, life-impairing abandonment issues. i dont even know where they come from, all i ever experienced were regular breakups & rejections with no hard feelings that just hit me especially hard for no reason i guess

how i cannot bear to be alone in a discord voice channel waiting for people to join & my stunted ability to talk to people when im alone with them (i got actively excluded by my best friends for being suicidal & a downer, they created a discord voice channel i couldnt see & didnt have access to for them to be without me, all while i was waiting all day long alone in our regular channel for someone to join me, in the same server)

relatedly, my inability to talk about my problems & mental illnesses with them. is also related to the cat incident

also my inability to show affection ever since my best friend stopped telling me „i love ya“

nothing else i can think of rn

i also realized that something is fundamentally, objectively wrong with me. i cant really talk about it... but the actions of one of my friends made it clear to me. it was proof that, somehow, im imbued with the horrifying essence of some eldritch lovecraftian horror being, repulsing everyone without them even realizing, unable of being loved. and its just... this knowledge, its too heavy to bear, for a single human being. i dont know what to do. i will have to live with this for the rest of my life - and i cant do anything about it.

ive also reconnected with an old friend over animal crossing, who introduced me to some other old friends (they were more like aquaintances back then, really), and in one of them ive found a friend for life, pretty much. but theyre all great, really.... i seriously appreciate that. they took my mind off my other best friend, whos been kind of ignoring my needs, resulting in me having panic attacks every day.

also, im making more of an effort to talk to & reply to the people i care about, cuz i have this friend who would chat me up every now and then, without me ever messaging him, just for me to ignore him for a couple hours cuz im too tired/busy/whatever... so at one point i was like „wait, what am i doing? hes one of the few friends who actually makes an effort, and i really care about this bitch!!“, so i went ahead and got my shit together, as best as i can at least (depressions still a bitch but im trying)

one last thing i wanna talk about... my view on life. this is gonna be huge, i think. big trigger warning for suicide stuff & other negative shit

im suicidal. always have been. thats not a secret, everyone who knows how to read between the lines (i cant, but most people do) can see that. sometimes you dont even have to, cuz im telling you outright. i usually dont talk about this openly though, not to my friends at least, cuz people only put up with suicidals for so long, and i cant afford to lose anyone else... ahem. anyways, something changed in the way i see suicide. when i was younger, i wanted to die because the pain i had to bear was just too great. there was no hope. and its still true - the pain is unbearable. i am in pain every waking moment. i have been for almost 11 years now. there is no joy, there is no happiness, there is only distraction.

however, thats not the reason i wanna die anymore. i think think that if i put in effort, i think i could be... not in pain, all the time anymore. but, heres the thing: i dont want to. im too tired, im too broken. i dont want to change, and i dont want anyone else to change. now i just want to die, for the sake of it. because i love death, with all of my heart. i think death is the best thing that could happen, to anyone. i 100% believe death is the only thing that will save you, ever. i am not exaggerating when i say „i love death“. and to live, without having the means to safely & efficiently kill myself... its destroying me. i get panic attacks every week thinking about it. what if someone else leaves me? im not gonna take it anymore, i refuse to. i refuse to keep suffering, but to end my suffering once and for all i have to die. i really, truly hate living... it just really isnt for me. and thats okay, im fine with it, im fine with dying - its what i want, its my choice, its my destiny - and i love this destiny. i wouldnt want it any other way - to kill myself, or be killed, thats how i want to go. i just need someone to help me. idk where im going with this, so lets move onto my next point:

my worldview. so.. im not sure when this all started. was it 2020? or 2019? maybe it started to dawn on me even earlier, i dont really know, but its been really intense in 2020. the way i view the world & life has changed drastically (or rather, formed, ive never really thought about it that much before). my mom has made it clear to me that you could be a genuinely good, loving person... and still fuck up your kid for life. and this is why i came to the conclusion that good parents, who dont fuck up their children irreversibly... they dont exist. the moment youre born into this world, youre doomed. there is no one who doesnt suffer, there is no one who doesnt want to die - and if they tell you they dont, they either just dont know yet or are in denial. if there is ANY chance of someone growing up to suffer just like i do - it is not worth it. irresponsible, even - to bring a kid into this world. and, the way the world is, and continues to be, there will never be the chance for someone to never suffer like me. which is why i dont think children should be born into this world, ever. and it fucks with me - it fucks with me so bad.

...happy mew year, everynyan

[jacobburnett]

ive written about this before

every now and then...or...actually...far more often than not...i get wound up in these short medical documentaries on youtube about people with debilitating diseases or facial tumors or any other myriad of medical issue that prevents them from living a relatively “normal” life.

facial tumors, allergies to the sun or water, even some conditions as common as autism...the list is literally a mile long and theyre all disabilities that the people afflicted entered this world with surely not asking for. some of these people rise up and make the world their bitch and conquer death, exceeding life expectancy, or conquer their own personal challenges by maybe even being able to hold a pencil and write for the first time in their life thanks to some miracle life-saving operation set up and filmed by documentarians. whatever the case may be, i watch with humility...embarrassed that i take life for granted...not even realizing that the table i sit at and computer that i work with are luxuries that a major fraction of the world may never even know about. and of course i didnt ask for this life either, so what makes my life and privileges any greater than others?

there is no answer. i simply exist. i didnt ask for this but i am unbelievably grateful for my possessions, abilities, and luxuries. i take advantage of them but i realize i am blessed. i suppose my penance is crying at documentaries of people less fortunate than me. i could give it all up and live some other way if i really wanted to...i guess...but thats not what i want. i enjoy my life. i realize i have it much better than some. i am brought back to the ground by my penance. some people simply dont require as much as i do. the cycle will never stop. i am content with this ebb and flow.

this leads me into a greater existential crisis.

life was not created for you and it is not certain.

no matter what walk of life, no matter what color, race, social status, sex, or idealogy you subscribe to. there is some greater truth and goal for the human race to reach but i have no idea what it is. what is certain is death. every single living thing in history, everywhere, will die or rot away. the earth will eventually consume it and turn it back into something usable. we are the luckiest species in the perceivable universe but we are ignorant. we know nothing else than that of our own existence, although we wish for or dream that something else is out there somewhere, whether it be in the heavens, the underworld, or some distant intelligent lifeform we can communicate with. we will understand this greater meaning only after death.

i hope that people that constantly harp on the state of social politics shut their god damned filthy mouths every now and then, take their heads out of their asses, and try being more humble and watch a documentary about the elephant man or anyone like him and realize there is so much life to live and such a greater world out there than what donald trump presents to them.

the last thing i want to be is a fucking hypocrite and im certain that the people i just described do more than shove their own head up their ass and rant about politics all day but for fucks sake if you dont see someone every single day and judge their personality by their facebook or instagram posts then you dont really have much else to go on, whether you want to know that person or not.

no i cant expect everyone to see things my way and get depressed after watching a sad medical documentary or some other outlandish ridiculous shit but FUCK just dont take your life for granted. it could slip away in a fucking second and i have seen it happen too many god damned times. ugh.

what the fuck do these posts even turn into?