According to the Doctor Who Listened To Me, switching from my birth control to this new treatment could result in weight loss, if, indeed, my steady weight gain over the last decade or so was due to the birth control. I'm having severely mixed feelings about this possibility.
On the one hand, if I did lose all the weight birth control (presumably) made me gain, it would be much easier to interact with the world. Buying (and making) clothes would be much easier. Buying furniture, too, and cheaper besides. I'd be able to ride roller coasters again, sit in whatever seat in a theater, sit in booths in restaurants. I wouldn't have to ask for seatbelt extenders on planes, or worry about unintentionally invading someone's space because of how much I take up just by existing.
On the other hand...I've seen what happens when people lose that kind of weight. I've seen how much better they're treated. I am so desperate to protect the younger me who lives in my head from having it proven that it was her body that was incorrect, not the people around her. I don't want little girl me to have to know, conclusively, that they were right, that she would have had it so much better if she just lost the weight. I don't want to see just how much more desirable I would've been this whole time if I'd just been half the size I am. I don't want to know how many crushes would have liked me back if I'd just been smaller. I don't want to know exactly how unworthy I am now, as I currently am. And I'm terrified, because I know that if the weight does come off, I'll find out whether I want to or not.
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only human
[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.
The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]
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You know why I love Feysand? One of the reasons is because there's a balance between them. In a way they complete each other.
Feyre is all forgiveness, love and a pleaser.
But Rhysand on the other hand is all revenge, hate and never forget.
Whenever he's drowning in hatred for himself, for people who wronged his loved ones, she's there to pull him up and shower him with love, respect and reminding him of goodness.
And whenever she is being too forgiving to the point she's forgetting herself or to put herself first, he's there to bring justice and be a shield for her from the injustice of it all.
That's why this is one of my favorite scene of them:
He's saying he can't forgive anyone who wronged her. But she remembers the ones who wronged him and notices he doesn't care about himself, his hatred for himself won't allow it.
She's saying he has to forgive at some point. He's there to remind her that maybe it's okay to admit that some people have made her suffer.
It's this back and forth between them. It balances them.
He's always self sacrificing himself to keep his loved ones safe, to make them comfortable, to be a shield. And Feyre came to his life, saw right throw all of them and let him to burden her with some of those duties he put himself up for them.
Sometimes it's a wrong trait but it's never out of malice.
And she is always too forgiving, putting everyone else first, always backing down when some times she needs to back up for herself and she let herself to forget them. But he won't, he will remember, he'll defend her if it's needed and when someone crosses a line, he's there to remind them to back down.
Sometimes she let people take too much from her and it might hurt her in the process. A wrong trait of her.
They're the definition of "I will give my love for the both of us" and "I will give my hatred for the both of us"... does that make sense?
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here's a silly something that was going to be a thing of its own but i thought it was much better as a blurb <3
“kaeya,” you call, running your fingers over a midnight blue t-shirt with a cat and the word ‘meowlicious’ embroidered on it in silver. “come take a look at this!”
hearing no response, you turn, only to find kaeya’s hoodie-clad figure next to the hat section, where a wide variety of them sit on display. the trolley sits to the side, abandoned in favor of a ridiculously colored hat that now sits on his head.
“what?” he asks, a twinkle in his eye. “you don’t think i look handsome like this?” he poses like a model on the runway. with his midnight-colored hoodie, white sneakers, silver earrings, eyepatch and rainbow beach hat, he makes for a comedic sight.
the price tag dangles over his eyes, the cherry atop this absurd cake. a smile spreads across your face and laughter bubbles up in your chest.
“you look very handsome,” you tease. “i’d definitely pay—” you reach for the tag and flip it over. “five ninety nine for you.”
“is that all i’m worth?” one hand flies to the center of his chest in feigned astonishment. he catches your wrist with the other when you begin to move away. “i was under the impression that i’m worth far more than a meagre five ninety nine.”
“oh, you are.” you flick his forehead playfully. “but the standard rule of department stores is that i pay what’s on the tag.” you stick your tongue out at him, intertwining your fingers with his.
“touché. it looks like you’ve struck a bargain. take me home, then, my love.”
“we’ve got to pay for our stuff first, my love.”
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if you make posts about, e.g., trans men being seen as the worst of both men and women, denied the right to speak on either experience, and tag it as transandrophobia or something similar, you are making it very clear that when trans women talk about their experiences you either do not listen or do not care. Trans women also experience these things. It's not because you're a trans man. It's because you're trans. I know you're trans because you're a man but that's not the point, the point is all trans people are treated like this. Unless they either go stealth or gain high levels of social acceptance. Guess which subgroup of trans people that's easier for.
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actors au ! lol
brusk told me about this au recently . we were talking about their actors for chapter 20/21 and she gave me the idea of drawing the two of them + todd interacting together . this is pretty enough to paint it , even ( but i won't )
brusk's post about this au is right here . i remember she said that the original idea was by sysig , though !
scriabin by zarla-s
todd and edgar by jhonen vasquez ,
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