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#i know i smell disgusting but honestly i cant even smell myself anymore lol
clanoffelidae · 11 months
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If I didn’t already have lung damage before the amount of fumes I have inhaled in the last 72 hours would’ve done it for sure
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Prompt List And Who I Will Write For
When requesting a oneshot you can but are not required to choose a prompt off this list (which is one of @marauder-exe‘s prompt lists that im using because i physically cant produce prompts lol) and just tell me what character you want it with (i will list characters and ships that i write for at the end)
Send requests here
Angst 
1. “I love you ! Is that what you wanted to hear ?”
2. “I love him/her, and I know that I shouldn’t.”
3. “Can you just shut your mouth ?” 
4. “wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?” 
5.“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.” 
6. “Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend ?“
7. “I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”
8.  "Could you just take this pain away ? It hurts, so much… Help me.”
9. “You’re safe here, I got you.”
10. “Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you ask that.” 
11. “Look, he/she wants you, just make him/her happy.”
12. “If you go, I’ll know that you never loved me.” 
13. “We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”
14. “SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!!!” 
15. “You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”
16. “I know for a fact that you’re not “fine”.” 
17. “You’re looking at me like.. you’re disgusted. What did I do? Just tell me what I did, please!” 
18. “What happened between us?” 
19. “Nothing has changed!” “Yes it has, and you know it.”
20. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”
21. “You said you needed space. You were 5,000 miles away for a year, and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.” 
22.“I remember when he/she/they used to look at me that way” 
23. “I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I’ll forgive you.”
24. “I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me”
25. “I can’t keep this secret for you anymore.”
26.. “I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for.” 
27.“Why she/her/them? It could have been anybody, and you chose to betray me with her/him/them.” 
28. “This will be the last time you lie to me.” 
29.“You never loved me, did you?” 
30. “You made me miserable and I still loved you.” 
31. “Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”
32. “We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.” 
33. “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.” 
34. “Your mind must be a horrible place.” 
35. “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.” 
36. “And I thought you loved me.” “ And I thought I loved you.” 
37. “ Aren’t you even going to cry?”
38. “I didn’t expect you to wait forever. I just hoped…”
39. “Did you always know that you were going to leave?” 
40.“If you cry, I’ll stay, and if I stay that will just give you another reason to hate me.”
41. “I’m addicted and at this point I don’t think anything could make me stop.” 
42. ”If you wanna know, then ask.” 
43.“You never asked because you knew I wouldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.” 
44. “We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”
45. “Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”
46. “When are you going to stop clawing for something that’s never going to happen?” 
47. “What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.” 
48. “It was easier to believe that the you I knew was dead than deal with the fact that I still have to see you every day.” 
49. “What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.” 
50. “Why do you have tO BE SUCH A HYPOCRITE ALL THE TIME” (this is my prompt bc the numbers were being weird)
Fluff
 51. “You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.” 
52. “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.” 
53. “You smell really nice.” 54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.” 
55. “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.” 
56. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.” 
57. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”
 58. “You’re comfy.” 
59.“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.” 
60.“But I want to hear you sing.” 
61.“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”
 62.“Care to give me a back scratch?”
 63.“I think I love you.”
 64.“Your bed head is really cute.”
 65.“How about a kiss?” 
66.“You made this for me?”
 67.Aw, you’re blushing.” 
68. Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?” 
69. “Let me help you with that.” 
70. “I don’t want to forget this moment.” 
71.“Are you really flirting with me right now?” 
72.“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”
 73.“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?” 
74.“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.” 
75.“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?” 
76.“Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.” 
77.“Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything” 
78.“No, it’s fine.  I can wait until you’re done talking to them.” 
79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.” 
80.“You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”
 81.“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”
 82.“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.” 
83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.” 
84.“No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!” 
85.“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.” 
86.“ You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “
 87.“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?” 
88.“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.” 
89.“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”
 90.“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”
 91.“It was always you.” 
92.I love you in every possible way.” 
93.“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”
 94.“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.” 
95.“Duck, you idiot!” 
96.“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a wand and I’m not afraid to use it.” 
97.“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.” 
98.“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”
 99.“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”
 100.“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..” 
Sarcasm 
 101.“Define normal.” 
 102.“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”
 103.“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”
 104.“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 
 105.“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 
106.“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”
 107.“And you wonder why you’re still single.” 
108.“Remind me to kill you. Please.” 
 109.“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”
 110.“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 
 111.“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 
112.“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”
 113.“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 
 114.“My middle finger salutes you.”
115.“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”
 116.Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 
 117.“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”
 118.“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
 119.“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”
 120.“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 
121.“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”
 122.“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”
 123.“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 
124.“I need therapy after this.” 
 125.“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 
 126.“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 
 127.“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 
 128.“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 
129.“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 
130.“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 
 131.“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 
 132.“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 
 133.“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 
 134.“She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 
 135.“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”
 136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”
 137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 
 138.“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.
” 139.“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”
 140.“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 
141.“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 
 142.“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 
 143.“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 
 144.“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 
 145.“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 
 146.“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”
 147.“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.
 148.“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”
 149.“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 
 150.“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 
 Drama
 151.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?” 
152.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?” 
 153.“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”
 154.“I know you lied to me.” 
155.“I’m not even sorry.” 
156.“You backstabber!” 
 157.“I never want to see you again.”
 158.“You never mattered to me.” 
159.“I knew this was a bad idea.” 
160.“Rot in hell.” 
161.“It was supposed to be a secret!” 1
62.“No one loves me.” 
 163.“He/she/they is/are so petty…” 
164.“You made me cry.” 
 165.“I don’t know who you are anymore.” 
166.“How DARE you?!”
 167.“I know you’re not talking to me…” 
168.“I SAW you with him/her/them!” 
169.“Just leave me alone.” 
170.“What did you do?!” 
171.“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”
 172. “Just admit that was extra…”
 173.“I forgive, but I don’t forget.” 
174.“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?”
 175.“So what if I had sex with your ex?” 
176.“There’s something I have to tell you…” 
177.“I can’t do this anymore.” 
178.“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” 
179.“I never loved you.” 
180.“It’s too late.” 
181.“Quit ignoring me.” 
182. “Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!” 
183.“I love you. I’m sorry.”
 184.“I don’t want to be friends.” 
185.“Can we please pretend I never said that?” 
186.“Friendzoned again.”
187.“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.” 
188.“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.” 
189.“I was there for you when no one else was!” 
190.“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.” 
191.“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.” 
192.“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…” 
193.“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.” 
194. “I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.” 
195.“When I said I loved you, I meant it.” 
196.“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?” 
197.“You were the one that left all those notes for me?” 
198.“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.” 199.“We agreed this was just physical!”
 200.“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.” 
Characters/people i write for 
Marvel
Steve rogers 
Clint Barton
Scott Lang
Tony Stark
Sam Wilson 
Thor Odinson 
Loki Laufeyson 
Bucky Barnes 
Peter Quill
Peter Parker
Pietro Maximoff
Bruce Banner 
Stucky (ship)
Criminal Minds
Spencer Reid
Derek Morgan
Aaron Hotchner 
Greys Anatomy 
Alex Karev
Mark Sloan 
Andrew Deluca 
Actors
Matthew Gray Gubler
Chris Evans 
Tom Holland 
Tom Hiddleston 
Johnny Depp 
Jensen Ackles
Sebastian Stan 
Daveed Diggs
Colin O’Donoughue 
Once Upon A Time
Killian Jones 
Jefferson 
Harry Potter
Fred Weasley 
Sirius Black 
Remus Lupin 
Draco Malfoy 
James Potter
 wolfstar (ship)
Miscellaneous
Steven Hyde (That 70s Show) 
Jack Sparrow (Pirates Of The Caribbean)
Dean Winchester (Supernatural) 
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ilygsd · 6 years
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241018: 4
you know those pathetic abstinence posts i wrote when i ”took a pause” from him?
yeah uhh........ im trying my hardest not to weite smth equally as cringy but i cant help. i catch myself looking at the few pictures ive taken/screenshoted of him, imagine his smell wow and thats really smth that hits me. ive said it before, i even admittet it but sometimes when im outside, at the busstop or whatever and theres a gust i can suddenly get very very excited like my heart goes WOOP for a second and then i realize FUCK its just another male perfume lmao. like i didnt know i likes perfumes until met him. a crazy thought would be for me to buy his perfume and then just use it for all my clothes and my bed to feel safety. thats fucked up. idk why but peoples smell have always been very important to me
i always used to exchange shirts with my precious boyfriends. or not exchange i just stole their shirts. i used to have like up to 5 of my exs shirts and it sucked ass to give then back to him when we broke up lol.
i did find it interesting though because of jo wearing perfume i didnt know what his ”original” scent was like. i still dont really know, but i think i lile the mix of his perfume and his own smell like after we’ve cuddled or had sex i could feel him on my skin. i think it was a mix. bed and clothes are usually pretty reliable but his clothes are perfume and the bed is sometimes like.... idk what to say.... old? lol
ah fuck anyways i miss him. i miss him much and i catch myself thinking good about himmm. thoughts i dont want to tinkkkk. thoughts like ”maybe i overreacted, maybe it wasnt that bad”. im actually not hurt anymore, just anxious. for him leaving i guess. or me making a fool out of myself. im just stubborn. i wish he could apologize and if we will continue to see each other i will tell him why. he probably wont agree though and i will have to give up/accept that. because this whole relationship is on his fucking terms
i also realized that i really was desperate before i met him. it doesnt feel like it because now he occupies most of my thoughts bit when i read my precious posts here it was a lot of frustrated feelingd about adoption, racism and my ex. idk..... maybe i’d rather think of him than any of tjat cus that sjit is just sad to read. i guess stjis is too though. so fucking obsessed its crazy
i read smth about bpd splitting and idolizing and devaluating etc which i will get back to later but there was this pattern and i just.... could relate a lot. i either love or hate him. i wish i could see him for who he was. i dont only hate him and im not only being manipulated but i want to believe i actually do like him. i just have a hard time accepting who he is which is sad because in many ways he accepts me for who i am. he even tries to be empathic for me, its just not enough. especially not when he loses his sjit.
bow i feel like i have to appreciate him more again but i never do. and thats the problem with me, i never do. actions before words as he says. i will have to change my my actions. o wonder if hes fond of CBT, cognitive behavior therapy hmmm. my mim is a psychoanalysds so i always thought about that but idk
i do like him. he’s very handsome, i am very attracted to him physically. idk if im just horny bc ive repressed my sexuality for a couple of years or so now lmao but i really could go up to him and ask him to just fuck me honestly. but i want to get to know him better too. and his mom LMAO. no but honestly, i want to get to know him better. especially how he thinks. what he likes, what he diskukes. i want to do things with him and make him things, make him smile, make him relax and make him feel pleasure.
yeah uhhh i almost sucked his dick??? and i really dont do that i dont like dicks esp bot sucking on them thats fucking disgusting but honestly i was just so caught up in the moment and i just wanted him to feel good and i was just so attracted to him so.... yeah. it wasnt for long though cus im insecure and inexperienced and the sex probably sucked for him even though he came idk but i was surprised by myself
i still catch myself thinking of how he can be very cute and caring. he always asked if i was okay, if i was ready or uncomfortavle. that i could always tell him if it was too mich. he did pressure me a little bit to mutual masturvation but he accepted when it didnt work for me. i was so tense tbh. if i had tried a little bit longer it would probably have worked though.
sometimes i want to be close and you can tell the way my bldy communicages. like when we talk over a coffee and his knew touches mine or he takes my hand or let me nudge his shoulder or fuck up his hair a bit even though it obviously annoyed him.
i see myself as a little puppy sometimes. an emo puppy lol. a depressed puppy. and sometimes i see him as my older brother. idk. apprently his mom thought i was like a sister. i neve runderstiod if he meant sister to her or sister to him.... i guess shim?? yeah thats pretty weird considering we were fucking when she was home LMAO omg that was so embarrassing im so awkward ughhhh. i didnt even thank her for the food 😩 until it was time to leave and jo was like ”uh she’s leaving i follow her to the busstop” and she said ”okay bye” and i was like ”thx-for-the-food-that-for-letting-me-stay-goodbye-ily-stay-safe” not really bit basically ugh. and i had/have a cold too so my voice is all raspy and low like morgan freeman abeushwisbso
fuck now i REALLY miss him. its scary when he ignores me. im so used to him messaging me all the time and i know that he and other aspds want wouldnt do something they dont want/gain. at first i was offended by that fact. offended and scared but now i feel flattered. sure i may only be a study ibject to him but hes kind to me. he’s romantic to me instead of just friendly so i guess he finds me somewhat attractive. he pickdd me because he thinks i can give him something? that actually means a lot because i am useless lol and no one ever wants me for anything. i wonder what it is though. my sensitivity only seems to brother him though, and my overthinking. and i overthink all the time im with him. you dont know how mich we fight and bicker. i wish he wanted my love but hes not interested in that. i could give him my love for sure. it would be intense and passionate. the only love he wants is sexual lol not emotional
ughhh idkkkk. i’ll have to find my old adoption documents too to see if im tested for HIV and shit so i can contact him LMAO idk what to do though cus i booked a time to get myself tested bit idk if i want to anymore..... i would do it for him though. worst thing would be if he dissed me because of me not being tested yet. but that wouldnt really make any sense because he actually tried to liggten the mood and make a joke so i guess he actually ”forgave” me. i wonder if he would forgive me for still oushing his buttons and demanding things from him
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