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mistressemmedi · 3 years ago

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Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

#maneskin #ethan torchio #damiano david #victoria de angelis #thomas raggi #i'm off to drink some wine lol

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startanewdream · 4 years ago

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the fall

Summary: James lives. Sirius falls.

Notes: Sometimes people ask if in my Jily Lives AU series, Sirius dies like in the book. I like to think not, but I never wrote one way or another, because after all I don’t want Sirius to die.

But if it happened like in the books, here it is how I imagine it would go (not really part of the series, but it mentions events there):

Sometimes James still dreams of the fall.

It was something he always feared.

Most people wouldn't guess but he always had a fear of heights; that was the reason he first mounted a broom and took of for the sky - more than any fear he felt, James loved taking risks, being dare. It made him feel alive.

He never stopped fearing the height, but he trusted his broom and in all his short career at Quidditch there had been only one accident, one time a bludger hit him too hard and he fell - later he would claim he had blacked out, but the truth was he stayed awaked through all his fall, until someone managed to grab him and save him.

James never forgot that feeling of being adrift in the air, condemned to fall in that one-way trip. He remembers thinking that this must be like the angels felt when they were falling from grace.

His mother had been Catholic and she had told him all the stories. He had not paid attention to most - his father's adventures stories were much more to his taste - but there were some that caught his attention. Daniel in the lion’s den. Samson with his hair. The fallen angels.

He always thought it must have been hard for them, being cast away from heaven. James loved flying, loved being above everything and feeling free; he would have hate being trapped on the ground.

He would hate losing his wings.

When he was six, his father allowed him to stay awake well past his bedtime and they camped in their backyard. It was a cold November night, but James was too excited to feel cold; his dad was telling stories of long lost heroes when James saw the fall for the first time.

It looked like a line of light crossing the night sky, something falling quickly in the space of a blink of an eye and vanishing before he could understand. And then another and another, after a few seconds or minutes, a number of little lines appearing in the starry sky. It was beautiful.

It scared him.

'Are those angels, dad? Are they falling again?'

His father had smiled.

'No, James, those are falling stars. Shooting stars. Make a wish'.

James did not feel like wishing for anything. Stars were made to be in the sky too. They shouldn't fall.

When he told that to his father, he smiled again and hugged James.

'Those are not really stars, son. Those are meteors, parts of a comet that came too near Earth. What you see is just the meteors entering our planet and burning in the process'.

'It's strange'.

'It's just an event, like eclipses or the phases of the Moon. But this one is special, it happens once in thirty years. The first time I saw it I was your age'.

'Does it hurt them? Those meteors when they burn?'

'No more than the water is hurt when it's raining', his father assured him. 'They are just rocks. I thought you would like it. This meteor shower is called the Leonids'.

'Like the Greek hero?

'Like the constellation Leo, actually'.

This picked up his interest even more. James loved lions, loved the courage they represented and loved how they were the symbol of a House he would be someday.

He watched the rest of the meteor shower in a blissful mood and that night he dreamed of falling stars that were not really stars nor they were falling.

A decade later, he convinced his friends to fly to the top of the Gryffindor Tower, equilibrating precariously on the bricks of the tower, to watch another meteor shower.

Remus slept right away, tired even in a moonless night, and Peter was trembling too much to enjoy the show, but Sirius stayed awake with him all night, watching the stars, almost clapping each time he saw a shooting star (this meteor shower was much less impressive than the other James saw, but it didn't matter. It was never about the stars).

'Do you think wishing upon a star really works?', Sirius asked him in a low voice.

'Depends. What are you wishing for?'

Sirius had turned to look at him.

'If I tell you, it doesn't come true', he said as if it were obvious, but James just stared back at him, waiting.

He knew Sirius would tell him because there were no secrets between them. They trusted each other too much for that.

And just like he knew it would happened, Sirius blinked.

'I wished - I thought of my family -'

James frowned then, still remembering the raining summer night where Sirius had appeared in front of his house, wet and trembling, and had told him he had run away from home. James had done the only sensible thing - he had stand aside to allow Sirius to enter and had helped him change his clothes.

He didn't understand what Sirius could wish about his family - as far as James knew, none of them were really Sirius' family and he was much better away from them.

'My brother, actually', Sirius whispered, sounding guilty of even having this thought. ' I wish I could have him back'.

James thought of the first day of classes that year, when Sirius had come face to face to his brother after running away, and how Regulus had turned his back on him, had refused to hear Sirius calling him, and how heartbroken Sirius had been.

'You don't need him', James said forcefully, hating to see Sirius so down. Sirius was made to shine even more than the star he was named for. 'I am your brother. I won't ever leave you'.

Sirius beamed at him them, his eyes full of love and James knew he was right. They were more than best friends. They were brothers.

Years later he would feel guilty when he found out the truth about Regulus, how he had been brave after all and how Sirius never discovered it.

Years later he would watch Sirius fall and the only wish he could make was that it was all a dream.

But right then they didn't know better, so Sirius offered his hand, which James ignored in favor of hugging him, and they stood together watching the meteor shower.

That was how James and Sirius did most of the things. Together.

They laughed and they pranked and they made mistakes together. They wronged together too and they faced detentions - when they started to get separate detentions, they invented a mirror to talk to each other.

When James realized he fancied Lily Evans, he told Sirius first - Sirius didn't seewhat attracted James in Evans, but he supported, helped him with some cheesy lines (none of it worked) and promise he would marry James if Evans was still rejecting him by the time he were thirty. James knew how much that meant for Sirius, who never really seemed to care about dates and relationships.

And he didn't doubt Sirius would be there for them to grow old together.

When he finally started dating Lily, he told Sirius, even before telling her, that he was in love with Lily. And then, as he said it (Sirius had rolled his eyes, but James knew he was happy for him, because that’s how they were with each other - if one was happy, the other was too; if one was that sad, the other found the reason and punched it in the face), he realized that he had never told Sirius that he loved him too.

'I love you, Padfoot'.

Sirius had stopped to look at him, looking only confused.

'Yeah, I know. We are brothers'.

And then James felt stupid for thinking he had to said how he felt out loud. He never once doubted Sirius loved him either; of course Sirius would feel the same.

Nothing change after they graduated. Sirius was with him in the Order, for the most important and most boring missions, for the days were hope were lost and for the small victories they managed.

Sirius was his best man in his wedding, making a speech that made everyone cry and filled with puns about dogs and stags that made James laugh even if none of the other guests understood. And Sirius was by his side when his parents died.

Years later James would see Sirius hearing about his mother passing away with just a blink, but when he heard about the Potters, Sirius came and hugged James and they cried together, because they were both losing their parents. Sirius had not only been a brother to James, but also a second son that his parents had loved fiercely - and Sirius had loved them back, had found in them all the care and support he lacked from his own parents.

And then Sirius was somehow the only family James had (Lily was part of him, so it was different), until Harry was born - and it was obvious that Sirius would be the godfather.

And even more obvious that he would be their Secret Keeper.

Except it didn't happen like that because Sirius had an idea and James had believed it was the best, because he wouldn't dare to mistrust Peter (he was already hiding things from Remus and that hurt him too much).

But Peter - who James had also loved too, but maybe he should have told him that more - betrayed them and by the tiniest luck James and Lily and Harry survived. Peter died. James tried not to think about it.

For the next years there was some peace. Sirius got to fulfill his wish of being an Auror, James went to his studies, Lily went to preparing her potions. And Harry grew up happy and with his family complete.

Until the fall.

If James had to describe it, he always thought it would be much like the falling star. The angel would be thrown from the sky and at first he would trust his wings to keep him from falling like they always had done; but much like the meteor, the wings would burn brightly upon entering Earth and the fire would consume them, until there was nothing of the feathers and the angel would just fall, in what would seem forever - but the ground would be nearer and nearer until, finally, the angel would hit it.

The angels survived in the stories, but James remembers the story of Icarus, who dared to fly to close to the sun and fell to his death in the sea.

Sirius was no angel and, like Icarus, he always flew too high, James knew, because there was nothing holding him back.

James had a son and a wife to protect with his life and somehow this grounded him, made him think more than when he was young. Sirius loved them all, but he was free.

That didn't worry James for a very long time. Sirius was a star. It was okay for him to be high in the sky. He was made to be there.

Until the fall, where the laws of the physics didn't seem to matter.

In hindsight, James thought he should have paid attention. Sirius had been dismissed from a work he truly loved, had to hide for being hunted after telling the truth the world didn't want to hear. He had lost everything he had fought for in the last fourteen years and he was forced to hide in his old parent's house, the one place he had tried so much to run away from. He was careless and out of practice.

Lily tried to warn him and James didn't listen. It had been so long since James had worried about Sirius - instead, it was Sirius that was always comforting James with his worries and problems. At some point in their lives Sirius had become the older brother to him, just as much as a godfather - a second father - he was to Harry.

Harry loved him and he never thought of Sirius like anything other than his family too. Harry would hear Sirius and trust him and care for him.

They should have expected Voldemort to use it against them. Voldemort could not use James or Lily - Harry wouldn't believe it - but when he came for Sirius, if only pretending to, Harry didn’t doubt it for a second and feared and didn't care about anything other than saving his family.

It was a trap and as soon as they found out, they came to rescue Harry. Someone should stay behind to tell Dumbledore, but Sirius never considered waiting while his godson was in danger.

James never expected him to. He knew Sirius enough to know he loved a challenge and he loved Harry even more.

But James never expected Sirius to fall either.

James remembered the first meteor shower he saw. In one moment there was nothing, just the a normal night sky, full of stars and constellations he would someday learn about. And then the lines were crossing the sky, flashes of light that seemed to either last one second or fall forever until they vanished in the horizon.

That's how Sirius falls. Forever until the horizon comes.

He is dancing with Bellatrix, a dance of lights and carefree laughs with a cousin that is not his family - James is his family, the Potters are his family - when the spell hits him. It's not green, so James is not concerned, but then Sirius falls behind, gracefully, quickly, into a veil that seems to welcome him with open arms just as James did the night Sirius ran away from home.

And then he is gone.

Not dead. Gone.

Like the falling stars in the meteor shower, vanishing into nothing.

James wishes for him to return with all his heart, but nothing happens. He begs to any god that might be listening. No one answers. Nothing changes.

After all these years he has an answer to Sirius' question (it's a waste of time to wish upon a star) and he can't even tell him.

He stares at nothing, feeling numb, for once not hearing Harry's cries and then Lily is there, hugging him and it's only when James can only breath through his mouth that he realizes he is crying, kneeling in the ground in front of the veil, his hand raised expecting Sirius to grab his hand so James can save him.

Nothing happens.

He doesn't know how he survives the next week. He doesn't remember anything except for a few flashes - punching Fudge (because that's what Sirius would do) destroying the motorbike that Sirius left on the Potters house, attacking with a kitchen knife Sirius's mother portrait (it works, and they manage to take her out - Sirius would have been happy).

It's only when Harry returns from school and asks him in a very quiet voice if he blames him, that James feels like waking up.

'No', he whispers. 'It's only Voldemort's fault'.

He doesn't blame Harry - his son did what he thought it was the best with the few information he had -, he doesn't blame Dumbledore for trying to keep Sirius away, he doesn't blame Snape for being a dick and messing with Sirius' head and he doesn't blame himself for not being able to prevent what happened.

The only one he has to work on not blaming is Sirius, who should have know better, who should have been more careful, who should not dare to leave James' side.

But then again, when he got the chance, Icarus flew too high too. And Sirius was not made to be locked.

He finds Harry in the backyard of the house some day, looking at the destroyed motorbike; there is a toolbox next to him, and James remembers Sirius teaching Harry about motors a long time ago, sharing his passion with his godson.

Harry doesn't ask why the motorbike is destroyed; he seems to understand whatever anger made James do it. He just starts fixing it and, after a while watching his son working, James grabs some tools too.

It's a hard work, under scalding heat, but they never complain.

'I asked Nearly Headless Nick how ghosts were made', Harry whispers one afternoon, while he is changing the tire.

'He wouldn't return', James says without taking his eyes from the cylinder, trying not to sound resentful. 'He would have gone on'.

'Dumbledore once told me death is just the next adventure'.

'Sirius would never refuse an adventure'.

Harry smiles at him, with tears shining in his eyes, and he nods.

It's a long summer. James wakes up screaming sometimes - it's the fall, always the fall - and Lily is there for him, kissing him and embracing him until he falls asleep again.

She is the sun for him, the one star he can count on to keep shining, to return every day after it sets.

Lily is mourning too (she loved Sirius too, even though people would forget it), and sometimes he catches her crying silently; he is the one to embrace her, and then what happens is that they cry together.

But being with Sirius mostly of his life taught James that pain, like happiness, is better when you have someone to share.

It's Lily who suggests they make a funeral for Sirius - not a sad event, just something to represent him and a place to let them pay their respects - not with flowers, because Sirius never cared for them, but James thinks he would like to receive motor magazines from time to time.

So they place a tombstone near where James' (and Sirius') parents are buried. It's empty, no coffin and no one to pay the homage Sirius truly deserved (a big speech, music playing, lots of people crying), but it feels somehow like an ending really, when James stares at the silver tomb and sees the name of his best friend and brother there.

Lily was right after all; Sirius isn’t there, not really, but James comes to that place to talk to him, to tell him what's happening, even if it makes him sad to realize how much Sirius is missing.

He hopes that wherever Sirius is (in heaven, pranking innocent angels at least and waiting for James), Sirius gets to hear and cheer too for all the good news.

He never stops missing Sirius, just like he still wishes his parents were still there. When the war is over, he takes a break to come to see Sirius, to open the champagne they promised they would toast to when Moldy-Voldy was finally gone. It's a lonely toast, but James pretends Sirius is there; a dog passes by - it's not black, it doesn't look remotely like Sirius' animal form -, but James sees it a sign.

The next day, after he visits a shelter and returns home with a black dog, Lily just smiles.

'Hello, Padfoot', she says letting the dog sniff her then lick her face, and just like that the dog is already part of their family.

Sirius is not there for Harry's first hangover (he would have laughed and give Harry various tips on how to avoid passing out, and also various tips of preparing the best drinks), he is not there when James and Lily get pregnant (he would have complained about not being godfather again) and he is not there when Harry marries (Sirius would have cried harder than James).

And he is not there when James sees for the first time his grandchild, a beautiful tiny boy that brings tears of joy to his eyes when a very tired Ginny lets him hold his first grandson.

'He is perfect', he whispers, unable to look away from the baby just as once he couldn't look away from his son. At his side, Lily is letting the baby hold her pinky, beaming. 'Did you decide a name for him after all?'

'Well -', Harry begins, sitting right next to Ginny on bed and taking her hand.

'We always thought of naming after you if it were a boy', Ginny says, exchanging a look with Harry.

James looks up.

'I am honoured -'

'Until we saw him for the first time', Harry interrupts him, his voice soft. 'When he opened his eyes, I swear there were like a million stars there shining for us. So we thought of - something else'.

'What?'

'Sirius', Harry says simply. 'Instead of making it his second name, we thought of calling him Sirius. Sirius James Potter'.

James looks back at his grandson. It's fitting.

'He does look serious', he whispers, and some part of his mind hears Sirius' barking laugh, teasing him indignantly for going for that old joke.

More than the tease, James swears he can hear the happiness too. Sirius was always a Potter anyway, this is just one way of making it somewhat official.

'It's a lovely name', he agrees, smiling, and indeed when the baby opens his eyes, James sees all the stars there that won't ever fall.

#James Potter and Sirius Black #Jily Lives AU #But not a happier world this time #Angst #With some sort of happy ending #t: fanfiction

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army-of-mai-lovers · 4 years ago

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ATLA fic recs pt 3!

part 1 part 2 (again, consider this a re-rec of everything I recced in those parts, those were all brilliant fics! I have really good taste y’all)

This is for Spotlight Saturday (which I didn’t even know was a thing oh my goodness that’s so cool) and also bc I passed two milestones since making the last one of these! thank you! I don’t know why you’re here but I’m so glad you are! <3 <3 <3 <3 also, a gentle reminder that I love so, so many more fics than appear on these lists, and there are even more fics that I’m simply not exposed to. if you want to send me your work or the work of people you really like, please do so! (G or T only, please)

1. Hooked by @listless-brainrot I know List writes fic specifically to cause me pain but I cannot tell you how much serotonin I got when I found out during the Great Jetru Summer Storm of 2020 that somebody had a) already made content and b) that content was literally incredible. Like not only does List have impeccable taste and an impressive amount of patience he’s also a really good writer??? To be perfectly honest I sometimes turn my brain off a little when I read fic, but List makes me sit up and pay attention to his writing and the way he’s writing. I think the framing device here with Haru telling this story to the gaang at the Western Air Temple is so interesting (and it makes me so scared list dude please tell me that doesn’t mean what I think it means you can’t-) and Jet and Haru’s burgeoning friendship/relationship? has been handled with such care and with such depth. I am absolutely obsessed with how he characterizes Haru in particular. Haru, being such a minor character, normally doesn’t get any kind of characterization, but List really said not only is Haru going to be the pov character of this fic, I am going to create an environment that gives him so much nuance. We really have no choice to stan.

2. and the stars, they too, tell of spring by @katarahairloopies when I first read this fic I went absolutely feral, as I am wont to do with Kit’s fics and with yueki content in general. It’s just so personal. And like not in the queer eye meme way (although,,,,yes) but to me it’s very clear that the author has spent time in the situation they’re describing, in one way or another, and took a lot of care in rendering that situation to the absolute fullest of their ability. It’s one of those fics that has just stayed with me even though I read it a while ago, like I can still picture the situation, the way they described it, the way I felt reading it. Simply iconic. Simply iconic. I wish every atla fic writer would have the kind of care and patience with Yue and Suki’s characters in their long af fics that Kit does in a really short and pointed piece of work.

3. i like my girls just like i like my honey by @lazypigeon I am....obsessed with this???? I love it??? It is totally gorgeous. I’m a sucker for ship fics that also explore friendships and the whole friendship between Sokka and Yue was just so queer and so utterly perfect. The jokes about their neighbors thinking they were married...the background zukka...the dresses....I loved it all so much. It really brought a smile to my face to read some fluff about two friends going outside to hang out with one another, like can you imagine??? wild. And then we meet Suki who is a farmer at the farmer’s market that Sokka and Yue go to and y’all pls tell me why farmer’s market aus aren’t a bigger thing because the idea of Suki being a farmer and asking Yue to go sample strawberries with her was just???? so cute????? like go off that’s absolutely iconic again we have no choice but to stan! And Sokka was absolutely hilarious when he was trying to wingman for Yue it was so funny and cute. also bonus for the title it was simply *chef’s kiss*

4. the anchor by @firelordemai one of my fave Maiko fics to date. Both POVs were on point but there was just something extra about that Mai POV it was gripping. I could not tear my eyes away from the screen reading this. I love love loved so much how the rock stood for their love for one another and how Zuko kept it, the whole way through, just utter and complete perfection I’m getting emotional just thinking about it oh my goodness. Legit it’s been a minute since I read the fic I’m just sitting here thinking about the use of language and how their relationship progressed and I am crying!!! I am crying!!! just. the talent. the talent! your fave could never! I am just obsessed with how the author chronicled them growing up and the challenges they faced as teenagers and the way they were driven apart and came back together again and my heart was on the floor in pieces when Zuko left it was just. oh my goodness. read this.

5. time for the moon night by @kahtara ok storytime: when that ask game where you tell the author your favorite fic of theirs went around I hit up Joey and said that it was between laughter lines (which I have recced before peep part 2) and icarus, point to the sun and that I was planning on reading time for moon night but I just didn’t know if I had the emotional strength to do it and they said it’s less sad than laughter lines so I was like all right chill I’ll read it and NO, NO IT WAS NOT LESS SAD THAN LAUGHTER LINES, IT WAS, PERHAPS, MORE SAD THAN LAUGHTER LINES. in all seriousness, time for the moon night is my new favorite fic of theirs. the way they write yukka in general is just so full of nuance and emotion, they really flesh out both Sokka and Yue’s characters so well and in such a careful and precise manner and I really love it. The way time is bent throughout this whole fic is just so amazing. this kind of gorgeous, thoughtful writing that isn’t shy to really get at the depths is the reason I love fanfiction. this is why I care! ao3 is FREE. and yet you can get writing of that quality and substance?????? i’m floored honestly.

6. if you ran away (come back home) by @shrinkthisviolet I want to spotlight one line in particular. “She wondered how long it would take him to notice the weak spot on the dummy’s left side.” That is so Mai. That is so Mai. The author did such a wonderful job capturing Mai’s situation and her perspective on it, but that line prepared me for an absolutely wonderful character study of Mai and look into her situation before and after the Agni Kai. I’m honestly so floored at how the author was able to portray such an intimate character study that so in character and so well thought out. Mai stans, come get y’alls juice. This one is also really sad and I cried a little (me crying at ATLA fanfiction is exactly as common of an occurrence as you think it is.) What was particularly heartbreaking to me was the way that the author showed how, even as a kid, Mai was driven to suppress her feelings and play to her best political interests. She’s just a kid! She’s just a little baby!!!!!!! I’m heartbroken, and I’m at a loss for words, quite frankly. I want Mai to have the whole world. gosh anyway this author is so incredible and I’m so so excited to read more of her work, because this was just stunning and deserves an incredible amount of praise.

#fic recs #this post is so late omg #that doesn't matter what matters is that it's here #jetru #yueki #so much yueki #maiko #yukka #atla #atla fic recs

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livlepretre · 4 years ago

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Fic prompt: Stop courting my doppelgänger behind my back. Featuring Kaulena and the meddling Mikaelson siblings

“Does it really count as going behind your back if I asked her out right in front of you?” Kol asks as he throws himself onto a leather sofa.

Klaus massages his temples. When he’d built this home for his family and more or less accepted their universal undaggering, he had never anticipated the frustrations that living in such close quarters with his siblings would entail.

He had also failed to anticipate the attention his doppelganger would garner from the lot of them, or the.... discomfort that those attentions would produce within him.

“Did she say yes?” he asks his brother tightly.

Kol snorts. “She slapped me good and proper.”

Just as Klaus is allowing himself to feel an iota of relief, Kol continues, “I think slapping may be a bit of foreplay for that one though. She strikes me as the kind of girl who likes to play dirty before-- well, before playing dirty.”

She’d never slapped him before, he finds himself thinking before he catches himself.

“I ever find out you’ve laid a finger on my doppelganger, and I’ll remove it. Do you understand me, Kol?”

Kol grins up at him. “You’re clear as a mountain stream.”

And it’s not just Kol that Klaus must deal with.

Rebekah, understandably, wants Elena dead for literally stabbing her in the back, except it’s not really convenient for his sister to spend so much time plotting his prized possession’s untimely demise.

“You’re just as bad as Elijah,” Rebekah pouts.

Klaus ruffles. He hadn’t even considered what affect Elijah’s presence could have upon the girl. Best to find out now what exactly their history together entailed.

“First,” Rebekah continues, “he drags me off of her by the scruff of my neck like I’m no more than a kitten, and then you throw the actual hissy fit just because I may have left a few fingerprints on the girl.”

“This isn’t a hissy fit,” Klaus mutters from amidst a rain of broken crystal decanters.

So he may have thrown a fit of some sort, but it definitely hadn’t been hissy. He’s a wolf. If anything, it was a growly fit.

Rebekah doesn’t seem to hear him. “You know, I think had I been mortal that your precious Elena would have left some marks on me.” A sly smile creeps over her full lips. “She has a lot more fight in her than I anticipated. I rather like that in a woman.”

Klaus frowns at her. “Rebekah, I have been very forgiving of your ill-conceived little games thus far--”

“How do you think she would respond to a bit of bondage? I have class with her in another hour. It would be simple enough to kidnap her after.”

Rebekah does, of course, despite Klaus’s admonitions that she is to do no such thing because if anyone is going to kidnap the doppelganger, it’s going to be him.

He runs into her in one of the upstairs hallways, her wrists bruised from the velvet ropes Rebekah had used to bind Elena to her bed, a slim dagger clenched in her fist.

“Oh, it’s you,” Elena breathes in audible relief.

He raises an eyebrow at her. “I see you’re in no need of a rescue. How’d you slip free?”

“Rebekah likes to flirt. I used that to lure her close enough to the bed for me to... work some magic.”

Klaus’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. His stomach flips at her words, but he’s not sure why. “Must I assume she’ll be very angry with you when she gets free?” he asks her lightly.

Elena purses her lips. “I wouldn’t say that.”

He watches her go, his stomach sinking with every step away from him she takes.

“She’s a gentle soul with a pure heart and a noble spirit. She doesn’t deserve to be pulled into your web of sin and infamy time and time again.”

Klaus stares at Finn, who glares at him with such righteous certainty that he thinks he should record his expression for Elijah to study later in private.

He realizes his mouth is hanging open. He shuts it, but that doesn’t make any of his acute disbelief go away. “Since when do you have such strong opinions on the subject of my doppelganger?” he finally gathers himself to ask.

“Since I sat down with her this afternoon at the local tavern and had a long discussion with her. She’s an impressive young woman. Thoughtful, kind. Exceedingly beautiful, in mind and spirit as well as in countenance.”

“You have a crush on her.”

Finn blushes. His stoic older brother actually blushes. “It’s true I admire her, yes, but I am no Icarus-- I dare not fly so close to her sun. Only-- to grant her my protection where I might, and to insist that you remove her from your future plots and allow her to live in the peace and security she deserves.”

The idea of removing himself from Elena Gilbert’s life is completely unacceptable. He won’t hear of it.

“Did she ask you to say this to me?”

“Miss Gilbert would never be so untoward. I volunteered.”

“After a lengthy discussion with her.”

“I just said as much.”

It’s obvious Elena Gilbert has manipulated his eldest brother.

The thought should grant him more relief than it actually does. After all, it’s not as though Finn has discovered some aspect of Elena Gilbert’s nature that had heretofore been obscured to him. She had only revealed those aspects of herself which would most appeal to his brother’s sickeningly chivalrous disposition.

And yet, the thought that Elena would open up to any of his siblings in ways she refuses to open herself up for him lingers like a thorn in his mind.

Elijah is the final straw.

He spies the two of them walking together through the town green, their heads bent close together as they talk. Elena links her arm through Elijah’s and leans intimately into his body as they walk. It really is becoming more and more imperative that he discover the exact nature of their shared history together--

Just then, the wind blows, streaming Elena’s hair around her face in a cloud. With infinite gentleness, Elijah tucks her hair back behind her ear. The two of them lock eyes for a very long time, until a smile spreads so deeply over her face that it lights up her very eyes into dark pools as deep and glittering as the night sky.

His heart lurches in his chest.

It is one thing to know that Kol has been attempted to date his doppelganger ever since he first laid eyes on her at the disastrous family ball. That Rebekah gets to spend each day with her at school and has even, apparently, bedded her a time or two. That Finn has forged a true emotional connection with her.

But this. This looks an awful lot like love stamped across Elena Gilbert’s face as she gazes up at Elijah.

He finally understands the feeling that’s been twisting and boiling within him as his siblings have gotten deeper and deeper under Elena Gilbert’s skin.

Jealousy, it seems, is something even he is not immune to.

He’s rip-roaring drunk, leaning heavily against the sweating grain of the Mystic Grill & Bar’s eponymous bar, when he sees her enter out of the corner of his eye. Well, he sees two of her enter, but unless Katerina is back in town, that’s hardly important.

Wait. Actually, he should probably sober up, just in case the doppelgangers really are about to double-team him.

Ah, and that’s a lovely thought--

He’s just ordered himself a pot of coffee when the two girls resolve into one, who sits down next to him with a huff.

“Have you seen Elijah?” Elena Gilbert asks him.

Klaus cocks his head at her. “Not for a few hours, no.” Not since he’d seen the two of them canoodling on the green.

She glances at her watch. “Weird. He was supposed to meet me here fifteen minutes ago. I’m the one who’s running late.”

“No, what’s weird is Elijah deigning to meet you here. You must really have laid a spell on him.”

Elena smiles. Orders herself a rum and coke from the extraordinarily lax barkeep who doesn’t even bother to card her. “Careful, you sound jealous.” She accepts her drink with a twinkling smile and sips delicately through the cocktail straw.

“Of course I am.”

Elena freezes, staring at him. Collects herself. “Ha ha, very funny.”

“No, truly. I didn’t want to admit it for the longest time, but there it is.”

“You’ve basically turned making my life into a living hell your daily pastime ever since we met.”

“Apparently I’ve never matured past pulling the pigtails of the girl I adore.”

Elena practically collapses onto the barstool next to his. She works on her drink with a fervent intensity that puts him in mind of other things she might be able to do with her cherry mouth.

“What about your siblings?” she asks at last.

“What about them?”

“They’ve all been acting weird.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“It’s not normal for all five of you to pursue me at once.” She sets her drink down. “They haven’t... they haven’t been... courting me for you, have they?”

“Why would they do that?”

“Because after spending so much time with them and hearing so much about you from their perspectives for the past few weeks, this whole you like me! thing doesn’t seem as terrifying or apocalyptic as my common sense tells me it should. The way they talk about you, you actually seem kind of... sweet.”

Klaus smiles at her. He doubts that had been any of their intentions, but far be it from him to correct her when she’s just stumbled on such a delicious thought.

“I could be very sweet to you.”

Elena bites her lip. Notices the way his eyes track the movement.

“Fine. Consider this my official lapse in judgment. Show me.”

Within the week, it’s him courting Elena Gilbert.

Naturally he calls a family meeting to gloat.

#anonymous #5 sentence fics #klena #klaulena #JESUS I did not expect this to be this long #BUT THE STORY HAD TO BE WHAT THE STORY HAD TO BE

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bangtansfavwriter · 5 years ago

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🌷hobi having a crush on you 🌷

-hobi and you were inseparable, and when I say inseparable I mean it

-he introduced you to all of his friends and everyone knew you guys became a package deal

- he loooves spending time with you , which would already be a dead giveaway bc hobi's a really social guy, so him choosing to spend his time with you so often would already say a lot

-very playful and spontaneous, looots of laughter together

-you guys' favourite thing to do together would be karaoke and the two of you would put some singers to shame bc singing - check - dancing - audience wildin' and partying to you two - check bc the whole neighbourhood knew you by now and people would leave their own booth at the bar to come and watch you two (which would turn to spontaneous parties that would be absolutely legendary (and the place would be so packed that even dispatch would be like fuck no we ain't goin in))

-you'd come to watch bts' dance practices sometimes and just sit there and watch this completely different side of hobi come out

- he dances with such a passion that you can't do anything but watch him in awe, completely enthralled by the way he moves

-this was also something that made you fall for him slowly, you loved the fact that he was absolutely passionate about everything he does and puts his energy in

-and you admired him so much, bc he was still humble about his talent & also this innate ability to light up every room he walks in

- you almost felt like icarus trying to bask in the sun and sometimes felt like your feelings for him may get you too close and you would get hurt

-and whenever you would get into that mood, it would be hobi himself to snap you out of it, unknowingly

"hobi, there's no reason for me to come to the christmas party, you guys are like family, why would i be there?"

"nonsense, you're family, too. i want you to be there." ---and that's it, that's how he handled your moods, he always made you feel cherished and most importantly loved--

- he would play with your hair a lot and would be very touchy in general, the supreme method to shut down hobi.exe would be playing with his hair, he'd legit lay down and and go quiet, but chances are he's gonna fall asleep (and boy would he get cranky when you wake him up)

- he'd love to make you laugh and sing lil songs and do lil dances for you when you would make tea or something ("look it's y/n, making tea for mee, hobiii~, this sure looks like chamomile, chamomile is just my style, my legs are so sore, I'm gonna go lay on the floor..."*his voice fades* - "u ok there hobi?" - *weak* "no..") [btw chamomile tea helps with sore muscles ☺️]

- his spontaneous dances would be the best, he'd drop it to maluma and lowkey get emotional when you'd turn on some flamenco songs ("y/n, i should be a flamenco dancer, this music speaks to my soul" - "whatever you say, horacio" )

- he would sometimes give you very obvious signals:

"oh we're both wearing jean jackets, almost like a couple look hmmm~~~"

"you cooked for me ?? caring for me, like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

"look at us sharing our drinks like we're a couple hmmm~~~"

-and tbh, you guys would be the couple that has no idea that they're a couple bc you never truly established something along that lines

-but you truly liked him, after all, he's mr sunshine, with the most generous heart and boy's got the prettiest side profile you've ever seen (you knew you were whipped when you went for drinks with a friend and ended up being an emotional drunk who gushed about hobi's lil nose)

-hobi always gets shy when u praise him and you're like "BOI I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY LONG" and he'd go "noooo stop" and backflip to the other side of the room bc he got shy again but he secretly loves it (honestly, it would lift his entire mood, to a hyper extent.... one day you didn't have the time to stay for their dance practices and met hobi shortly before they started, to say bye and such, and you encouraged him to be strong, bc you knew how tough the new choreography was, and told him "you, horacio, dancing king of my heart, can do this, now go prove your title or I won't make you any pancakes for a week" and he SCREAMED in joy & spun you around like 3 times and sprinted to the practice room, you got one (1) single text from jin at 02.17 am, which you opened, confused at hell, it just said: "idk what you said to hobi before practice but you owe me a spa weekend for the muscle pain i have rn")

-but hobi is only human too, he also gets into low moods, which you help him through by simply not going anywhere even when he detaches himself from you and everyone else for that matter

-you knew he had to recharge and gave him some space without entirely distancing yourself from him ofc, you guys would still text tho from time to time

-you knew that he had practice again and one day you stopped by with some food you prepared for him and gave it to a staff member to pass it to hobi, bc you didn't want to intrude, and hobi would text you back a pic of the empty lunch boxes you packed for him with a caption like this: "👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻👼🏻💗💖💝💓💞💕🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️" (hobi talk for "you are and angeeeel, i loooove you & thank youuu") and you were happy with yourself and happy for hobi bc you knew this would cheer him up

-he came over to yours like 2 days later and your heart ached a little bc he was obviously exhausted but still shot you a smile when you opened the door

- you pulled him inside and hugged him, neither of you spoke a word, hobi just sighed and buried his face in your neck

- he came inside and you made tea for the two of you and prepared some snacks too and you caught him looking at you a few times, but his gaze was different... you couldn't quite pinpoint what it was and just thought that's it's probably just random and that he's tired, since he also didn't speak a lot that evening.. anyway you chilled in front of the tv and had a night in, which he gladly accepted because his legs were so sore he wasn't even sure if he could leave your place in first place

-so you spread out on one sofa, while hobi layed down on to the other one

-whenever you weren't looking, hobi stared at you with the most smitten look on his face, especially when you'd giggle about some scene in the movie you were watching, and unable to contain his feelings for himself, he'd flat out tell you:

"you know, if there wouldn't be a risk of me face-planting onto the floor, I'd be on that couch and kiss you"

- he couldn't quite tell if his words made your face go red or if it was bc of your near-death experience after choking on your nachos when korea's dancing king told u he wants to smooch

(-"you ok now ?"

"yeah, alive and kicking"

"good bc- don't eat that now- I have plans for us 👀"

"maybe I do too 👀👀"

" 👀👀👀")

however, you decided you should talk this out when both of you were less tired

- but you didn't... bc hobi was busy again

- days had passed and hobi didn't say a word which was really disheartening for you bc after that kiss-statement you really thought you would finally clarify what was going on between you two and talk about dating and stuff, so you mustered all your courage and texted him: "hey, i know ur busy and all, which is why im gonna keep it as short as possible.... hoseok, i wanna talk about what you said to me the other day and i know this could potentially change our friendship forever, but i liked you for a while now and I wanna now if you were just joking around back then or if u actually were serious"

-the next hours would be absolutely agonizing for you bc deep down you truly feared that this may ruin your friendship with him, but you needed clarity, even though it was really clear that he liked you, but you weren't sure how and asked yourself if you may have read too much into his actions and words.... you threw your phone on your bed and tried keeping yourself busy with something that would keep you from looking at your phone. you failed miserably tbh and you were contemplating deleting the text the entire time... "this is so stupid, I can't risk this..." you thought and were about to open the messenger to delete your text, when you saw that he texted back....: "you never call me hoseok" (you had to took deep breaths to calm yourself down or you would probably have stormed into bighit and throw your phone at him)

- you: "this is really all you have to say ???? "

and he texted back shortly after and you were like oohhh, im gonna grill jung hoseok now

him: "well you never call me hoseok, so I guess this is very serious to you"

you: "yeah NO SHIT sherlock, i confessed my feelings for you and this is how you answer me ?????

him: "im serious too, don't be like that!"

you: "well how tf should i know if you're serious or not??"

him: "you could open your door and find out"

-to use the word "dumbfounded" for how you felt the second you read that would be the understatement of the century, you threw your phone away and bolted to the door

-and there he was.. standing there and smiling at you as radiantly as ever

- he held a plush in one hand and playfully waved at you with the other the other, in which he was holding his phone. he gave you the plush and laughed at you bc you still were completely baffled, but you started laughing too

- you: mang beats any flower anyways.. (you took the mang plush and put it on a rack by the door)

him: yup! and why buy flowers when you have me? *does the flower pose*

- you: you're unbelievable, jung hoseok

him: ohh full name now, it's getting very serious ~

you: stop teasing!!

-you felt that you were blushing and turned away from him, still unable to hide your smile. hobi laughed while he quickly stepped through the doorway, just in time to grab your wrist and make you face him again. "look at us, y/n, playfully bickering like a couple hmm~~", he said and gave you a smirk that made your knees weak, but you'd be damned if you'd show him that. So you looked him straight into his eyes with a cocky smile and asked: "anything you wanna ask me, jung hoseok?"

"you don't even know what you do to me with that smile of yours, sweetheart..."

"answer the question, jung hoseok."

"look at us us, flirting like a couple hmm~~"

(you didn't even notice how close you two were standing until there were only a few inches between your lips and his)

"I'm waiting", you whispered.

"i really think... ", he began and gently cupped your face meanwhile... "i really think that we should be a couple" he said and finally closed the little space which had remained between your lips.

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carnistcervine · 5 years ago

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A Dragon Named Icarus

So, I was talking with @mistystarshine about my Bending Curse AU and they gave me some ideas and then I got the idea of a what if scenario for Zuko’s Agni Kai. Like, in the AU, bending isn’t really something people are born with, it’s more akin to vampirism/lycanthropy where it’s a curse that spreads when benders attack non-benders. Originally I had the thought that royal firebenders are given their fire when they’re babies, but then I thought well what if it’s a special ceremony that happens at like 16 or something and my brain was all and Zuko gets his fire from Ozai burning his face off.

And then I wrote this.

I’m not entire sure if I’ll keep it in the “canon” of the AU or not, because it means no wicked fire scar for Zuko. But on the other hand, I quite like this idea. :’D I may continue this or expand upon it at a later date, but IDK.

~~~

Zuko walked up to the blood red curtains of his father's war room. But, without even turning his head, a guard swiftly moved to block his entry. Zuko bounced back, slightly startled, but also annoyed.

"Hey!" The boy huffed. "Let me in!" He felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to see his Uncle.

"Prince Zuko, what's wrong?"

"I want to go into the war chamber," he pointed to the guard blocking the entrance. "But the guard wont let me pass!" Uncle gave Zuko a gentle smile and carefully began to lead him away.

"You're not missing anything, trust me. These meetings are dreadfully boring." His elder mused. "Besides, it's only three years until you receive your firebending. I've heard you're a little behind." Zuko flushed and looked away at this. "I can help you catch up." Uncle offered.

Zuko turned back to his Uncle, determination burning in his soft brown eyes. "But Uncle, if I am going to rule this country one day, don't you think I should get a taste of how things work?" His uncle nodded slightly in a silent concession. "Besides I want to learn as much as I can." He looked away a little shyly. "And maybe afterward, it would be nice if you could help me work on my katas..."

Uncle Iroh smiled softly at the boy. "Very well. But you must promise me you will not speak." He leaned down and whispered. "These old folks are a bit sensitive, you know?" Zuko nodded happily. Iroh put an arm around Zuko. "And afterward I'll make us some tea and show you some of my tricks. Why, you'll be even better than Azula when you get your firebending!"

Zuko gasped in delight. "Better than Azula? Dad says she was born with her firebending!"

Iroh nodded. "Yes, a rare occurance indeed. Even I had to be given the fire." He looked quite thoughtful for a moment, before walking with Zuko into the war room.

X~X

The meeting went on very uneventfully. However, Zuko couldn't escape a growing unease in his gut. The way these people spoke, like this war was just a game to them. These were people, people who dedicated their lives because they loved their country. Not pawns to be sacrificed for minor gains.

"The Earth Kingdom defenses are concentrated here." General Bujing said, shuffling pieces around on the war map. "It's a dangerous battalion of their most powerful earthbenders and ferocious warriors." He grinned maliciously. "My recommendation is the forty-first division."

Zuko couldn't help but frown at the face the man was making. He didn't exactly know who or what the forty-first division was, but Bujing's grin was making his imagination go wild.

"But the forty-first is entirely new recruits!" An elder soldier proclaimed, slightly horrified. "How in the name of Agni do you honestly expect them to defeat a powerful Earth Kingdom battalion."

"I don't." Bujing said, grin full on predatory. Zuko felt his stomach sink to the floor. He was sure that if he had an inner fire, it would have dimmed. "They'll just be the distraction while the real attack is launched from the rear." Bujing chuckled slightly. Zuko bit his lip, trying hard to hold his tongue. "Those Earth barbarians won't be able to resist stomping out any flame they see." His dark brown eyes appeared downright black. "What better bait for the dirt stompers than fresh meat?"

Unable to take it anymore, Zuko shot up. "You can't just sacrifice an entire division like that!" The young prince shouted, looking over the room and the shocked old faces. "Those soldiers love our country and dedicate themselves to us! They are loyal to the Fire Nation! How could you just betray them like that?"

Suddenly an unbearable angry heat overcame the whole of the room. The flames of the Fire Lord's throne flaring up.

"Zuko," the Fire Lord hissed. "You have spoken out of turn in a show of complete disrespect. Do you understand what this means?"

Zuko looked back at the old general he had disrespected. His normal, dark brown eyes. Hmpf, not only was he old, but also a non-bender. Zuko could take him.

Zuko huffed, challenging. "I'm not scared!"

"Very well." the Fire Lord said, still radiating angry heat, his inferno obscuring his image. "An Agni Kai it is."

X~X

"Prince Zuko," Iroh implored. "I'm not quite sure you understand the seriousness of this situation."

Zuko turned back to Uncle, placing a hand over his. "It's okay, Uncle." Zuko said, his brown eyes shimmering. "I'll be fine." With that, he was ushered off by the Fire Sages. When he stepped out onto the arena, Zuko couldn't help but notice that the air seemed abnormally hot. Sure, it was quite sunny, but the sun seemed especially harsh in that time. He decided not to concern himself with it. So he took his place and waited for the match to begin.

As soon as he stood up, his heart dropped, his blood freezing as the tippet on his shoulders fluttered to the ground. His heart began to race, time itself slowed to a snail-turtle's pace. Uncle's words finally hitting him. He wasn't going to duel against an old, fellow nonbender.

He was to duel against his father.

The Fire Lord.

And the most powerful firebender on earth.

Zuko dropped to his knees, his legs having given out on him. His heart raced, he didn't mean to disrespect his father! He really didn't!

"Please, Father. I-I only had my nation's best interest at heart!" The boy begged. "I didn't mean you any disrespect! I'm sorry I spoke out of turn!" He lowered his head, on his hands and knees. "Please forgive me!"

But the Fire Lord wasn't having it.

"Pathetic!” He spat. “You are supposed to be my son?" The sun shone brightly behind him, casting his figure in darkness. "Fight, fight for your honor!"

Zuko started to shake, tears flowing from his eyes. He only barely managed to croak. "I am your loyal son..."

"Get on your feet and fight! That is an order, Prince Zuko!"

"N-no..." Zuko whimpered. "I won't do it. You are my father, I won't fight you..." Ozai's feet came into view, and Zuko knew the man was standing over him.

"Coward." The Fire Lord hissed. "I have no son."

Zuko looked up, a shriek thundered in his ears as fire filled his vision. One eye staring into the flames, one into the sun.

It wasn't like anything he'd ever felt before. The intensity and ferocity of the energy invading him. It felt as if his very soul had been set ablaze. Like the sun itself was trying to climb into his mortal flesh.

Then both of the boy's eyes gazed into the abyss.

X~X

Iroh sat by Zuko's side as he lay in bed, out from a combination of drugs and having half his face melted. The old general stroked the boy's hair gently.

"Leaves from the vine," He sang softly, only able to hold onto the hope that somewhere deep down the boy could hear him. That his soul hadn't been completely burned away. "Falling so slow..."

Zuko moaned, the unbandaged half of his face scrunching up slightly. "'m sorry..."

The Dragon of The West took a breath and gave his nephew's hand a firm squeeze as he bit back the tide of rage welling within him. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

But Zuko kept repeating it like a mantra, his one eye slowly starting to peel open. "Sorry... sorry... m' so sorry..."

Iroh leaned in closer, angry tears threatening to spill from his golden eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong, Zuko."

Zuko peered at him with a glossy, golden eye. "Uncle, 'm sorry."

The old man felt like his flame had been snuffed.

#ATLA #Avatar #Zuko #ATLA AU #Bending Curse AU #CW Abuse #CarnistCervineWrites

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oikawa13 · 4 years ago

Text

love in the time of köttbullar

Shouyou sets the bowl on the tiny table with a flourish and an itadakimasu! and this is when it hits Atsumu harder than a Skurup to the temple:He wants this. Shouyou, hip cocked against the miniature kitchen countertop, smiling shyly up at Atsumu through the amber fan of his lashes, beautiful god-boy-man somehow glowing gold even under the buzzy LED lighting. Though they’re standing in a 430,000 square foot warehouse in Tsurumachi, Atsumu’s looking at Shouyou, and he’s home.

Amid the Flärdfull and the Smörboll, Miya Atsumu falls a little more in love.

words: 3,378 | rating: T

i’ve never been inside an ikea so this fic quite literally changed me as a person. sometimes loving a person is as scary as saying that first i love you!!!! and sometimes... love is easy as saying i love you at an ikea ; ;

LAUNCHING MERRILY DOWN THE PATH OF SIN (THE FIRST TIME)

"Bokuto said I should bring you home. But I don’t know where you live. So I took you here.”

“To hell?”

"No, Atsumu-san. To my apartment."

words: 1,990 | rating T

i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this fic and then go on ao3 to reread it again its just so fdjgfhdjf good. i think about this shoyo a lot. theres something!!!! very dreamy going on here. this is the first part to a series btw, you can read them all if you want since theyre probably all around 1k :-)

lord i no longer believe in anything but the way he holds my name between his teeth

The miracle of the rabbit on the moon.

“We took this photo at their seventh birthday party. His father baked a cake. But someone ate all the jellybeans off the top before they could even sing the birthday song. That’s why Atsumu cried. He used to cry a lot. It stopped when the twins found out about volleyball, but before that Atsumu would cry over everything. Spilled milk. A skinned knee. The neighbor’s dog. He was the twin that was scared of paper straws. It's funny how things have changed.

“He looks happier now. Did you do that?”

words: 10,456 | rating: T

so, this goes just a liiiiitle past 10k so its up to you if you want to read it or not, i just thought i’d include it since its so! close! lol theres this part!!!!! they are holding hands underneath the table!!!!!!!!! atsumu are you drunk?!!! no!!!!! hes just so stupidly in love with shoyo. i cant stand them!!!!!!!!!!!

wait for it, wait for it

The notifications are up at 100+ again and Hana wants to check it quickly to make sure nothing's wrong, especially because she'd just cleared them before the media scrum. The fans, she figured, must be overjoyed with the win.Congratulations MSBY Nation!!! the first reply reads. #myspiker #atsuhinaBoth tags, she finds, are currently trending in Japan.

Five times #atsuhina trended on volleyball Twitter and one time it should have (but luckily didn't), as told by the MSBY Black Jackals' junior publicist

words: 6,043 | rating: T

this fic is SOOOOO much fun!!!!!! also i love hana, idk if i ever mentioned that before but yeah. this is like... hdjkdhgjfd so much ; ; <3

south of an early summer

Warmth, then, was being wanted back. Two weeks later, Atsumu holds that warmth in by Shouyou’s waist; he watches it, how it sleeps, and wonders what the heat will become next.

words: 2,602 | rating T | tw: atsumu being atsumu about (past) kg/hn for a split second

IF i wasnt an absolute fool and gave you all these recommendations to pick and choose from id just send you this and the walking emoji bc honestly!!!!!!!!! i may not know what the heck romantic means but i see this and maybe it is romantic! maybe its not the average romantic idk?!!!! but i do know theres something beautiful here. love ?? ; ;

truths in two’s

Shouyou leaves for Brazil in two hours.

words: 8,300 | rating: T

LDR.... but like, in probably one of the easiest 2 breathe/good feeling fic for ldr!!!! idk im a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ten reasons to break up with me: a love letter

1. It has to be you, ‘cause I won’t.

words: 4,197 | rating: T

pls....... i cant even THINK about this fic without crying okay!!!!!!!! insane. fuckign!!!! i love it so much, so much. it lives in my heart. this is the fic where i was like... i dont believe in love. yes i do. no<3 YES!!!!!!!! and cried and paced my room and finally FINALLY!!!!!! stopped feeling so hurt about hinata leaving for brazil again lmao!! like, i cant explain. this sounds crazy right???? anyway, i think... atsuhina can love each other so much it hurts when theyre apart but their love is so.... i mean......... they literally waited years to play together... so......... their love keeps them going..... GOODBYE!!!! i love listening to fka twigs cellophane & home with you and just..... being insane.

just can’t help myself

Five times Hinata takes care of Atsumu, and one time Atsumu returns the favor.

words: 5,025 | rating: T

*think about atshn taking care of each other* *cries*

blue crush

And there’s a promise there, sewn into the easy curve of his lips: I’m not going anywhere, Atsumu-san. Glittering eyes that cut through the rain-blurry dark like a beacon when Shouyou turns back to look up at him. Even if you fuck up all of our dates.

Murphy’s Law as demonstrated by Miya Atsumu.

words: 2,297 | rating: T

atsumu trying very hard to have things perfect and romantic and even in the failures its still very lovely<3

If I’m Icarus, You Must be the Sun (Allow me Three Mistakes)

He wonders if Icarus felt like nothing was wrong with self-destructing, because he had reveled in the sun, if only for a little while.

Atsumu finds, loving Hinata is the same.

Atsumu's love over the years, and the mistakes that accompany it.

words: 4,620 | rating: T

i am...very weak to the whole icarus/sun thing with hinata and his ships. this one though......... i think about it A lot.

in your eyes, i see our future

“Yer’ a real sweetheart, Hinata Shouyou.”

Shouyou smiles brilliantly. “Only for you~”

He scoots over so Shouyou can sit next to him. He can smell the pineapple body wash Shouyou is so fond of the moment he sits down. Shouyou passes the tray over carefully before settling against the headboard comfortably.

“What’s the occasion?"

(Or, Atsumu just really wants to marry Shouyou.)

words: 9,769 | rating: T

fhdsjjkjfdsj goes crazy stupid over marriage!!!!! listen... i do not believe in marriage!!!!! but for atsuhina, oh you bet i do!!!! :-)

breathing a hello

There’s no significance to them ending up here except that both of their lives are held in the sway of volleyball. Everything else comes second.That’s the crux of it, really.

words: 2,826 | rating: T

gjhfsjkfd shhhhhhhhh. my heart is very soft when i think of them here, please..... just!!!! pls.

if you’re out there in the cold, i’ll cover you in moonlight

My [23M] best friend and ex-boyfriend [23M] is visiting me for a week, and my current boyfriend [24M] who agreed to all of this is suddenly withdrawing from me. Can I get some advice? Please? Anyone?

words: 8335 | rating: T | chapters: 3 | tw: past kg/hn 😳

this one is optional since you wanted one shots and theres 3 chapters here. my idea of romantic is...well, i especially love when one of them is acting hurtful/mean/difficult to the other bc their own personal issues but the other loves them anyway??? and then they work on that issue!!! just!!!!! ; ;

Love in the Time of Insomnia

And anyway Hinata was sprinting out faithfully after Atsumu, who had keys to the gym like a badass, and who was going to give his spikers a few more tosses after-hours without Meian knowing like the greatest, most generous badass the Jackals had ever seen.

words: 2,457 | rating: G

running four kilometers just so atsumu can rest. this is what romantic means!!!! hdkshjfhdj

ode to what you’d have been

5 times it’s Kageyama’s fault and the 1 time Hinata realizes it has never been.

words: 3,628 | rating: G

loving someone including their flaws PART 2!!!!!! ok.... u might be like... um... this is romantic? hfdkhjfd LISTEN!!!! to me!!! there is nothing more romantic than being in love with someone and the ugly parts of them. going, i love you, all of you. and communication!!! and understanding!!! and feeling terrible and shitty and horrible but having the one you love accept you. and trying to help ease your mind, worries. *sobs real hard* also shout out 2 ‘okaaayy.... i hate sakusa now’

a shrine for a boy

Despite his uncertainty about how to tell Atsumu of his move to São Paulo, Hinata takes action. Things do not go according to plan.

words: 2,447 | rating: G

hinatas time 2 be romantic and fail but its ok bc!!!!!!!!!! :-) they are just dummies in love<3

the greatest distance between you and longing is defeat

(In other words: Atsumu, let go. I’m here now.)

words: 3,310 | rating: G

um... *cries* post break up.... o_o!!!! god they really thought they could????? lmao!!!!!!

the tear in this (our gentle language)

“I’m going back to Brazil.”

He isn’t asking for permission. This isn’t a consultation. Hinata Shouyou informs his boyfriend at their after-practice practice. Miya Atsumu has a volleyball in each arm, trying to pick up a third. It drops and rolls away from him. The thud resounding in an empty gymnasium.

Shouyou had tried to envision Atsumu’s reaction many times. He never expected to be met with silence.

Alternatively: an exploration of Hinata Shouyou’s return to Brazil

words: 7,204 | rating: M

ldr CAN be romantic ok!!!!!!!! it takes a lot of communication, time, and love ; ;

evening sun

Atsumu looks at Shouyou and thinks, I want to know every inch of you.

words: 1,502 rating: M

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canumoveurseatup-no · 5 years ago

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Fortress

summary: he doesn’t get in your brain, he doesn’t fill up the spaces. you don’t whisper his name now that you’ve built a fortress.

word count: not sure? but there won’t be a keep reading tab bc i am on mobile.

pairings: peter Parker x black!reader, father!rhodey x black!reader

warnings: it moves fast, angst hoe, bad boyfriend (peter even though i feel like he wouldn’t be one), running away from your problems trope.

a/n: inspired by fortress by lennon stella. please reblog and comment, it’s 2019- support your fandom authors :)

————

“Let it out, sweetheart,”

You never cried over a boy. A fucking boy. Never had anything moved you like this and it shook your spirit and didn’t sit well with you.

“I hate him,” nose stuffed, lips dry from the salt in your tears, you could only imagined how bad you looked.

It’s not like he cheated, he was just a shit boyfriend then had the nerve to hit you with “it’s not you, it’s me” bullshit.

You had no idea why he even called it a relationship- it was an unrequited love. But he thrived having someone finally pine after him, he was addicted to your sadness and it’s taken this long for you to see that?

———

“Stark!!” You stormed into the compound in search to give him an earful about how much of an ass his verbally adopted son has been.

“Uh oh,” he muttered and turned around but not before sighing to himself and praying for the Lord to give him strength, “Y/N!!,”

You were seething, finger trembling as you pointed at him, “Don’t you Y/N me!!,”

“What did he do now?”

What didn’t he do? He completely blew you off in front of your friends just to hang out with MJ and Ned as if he hadn’t been the entire week. You’ve only been seeing him at school and Avenger related tasks.

You explained everything to Tony but it’s not like Tony could do anything. What could he do? Give peter a wag of the finger and a time out? That’s not how it works.

You sigh and realized this was going to fix nothing, so you stormed out and went straight to your room to sit and think what could be done.

———

Did he even care at all? He could have called it off a long time ago to avoid all of this but it probably gets him off to see you still double texting and sliding up on his stories to reply just for him to leave you on read.

It wasn’t until he hadn’t texted you all day or even talked to you in school that you decided to build those walls up all over again and move on. It might be ridiculous to let a simple boy get to you like this but something has to be done.

“Dad, I think I want to go to that all girl’s boarding school,”

Sitting with your hand in his, you felt him squeeze it in reassurance. He proposed that idea a while ago, knowing the horrors of public schools.

“Y/N I don’t think you should be letting him run you off like this,”

“It’s not me running away. It’s self care,”

A simple bandaid on a gunshot wound.

“If you’re sure... I’ll call in the morning”

———

All those quiet nights Peter spent on you had you thinking he meant it when he was really talking out the side of his neck, making you think he was deep while he talked about something he supposedly wanted.

But it was really what you wanted, and he knew that... he knew exactly what to say and because of that you kept letting him take you.

“I can’t believe after crushing so hard for so long you’re finally mine,” you whispered, head lying on his chest, hearing the steady beat of his heart. He was so good at lying to you that you couldn’t even hear a skip when he lied.

“I care so much about us and where we end up. Thank you for letting me in,” every time he kissed the side of your head your cheeks would heat up and every nerve in your body would tingle.

The show he put on was always so believable, he deserved a standing ovation now.

“Tony says he’s proud I chose a good one. I can see what he means. You mean so much to me”

Did he ever feel the way you did at all?

———

No one knew you were leaving, they didn’t need to. Rhodey arranged the plans and as bad as it hurt to see some fucking idiot run his daughter off, you said this is what you needed and who was he to argue with that? You were old enough to make your own decisions.

Everyone threw a conniption when they were informed of your absence weeks later when it came time for another battle and it was all hands on deck and someone finally had the courage to ask where’d you’d been.

“Well where’d she go? Rhodes?” Natasha frowns and stares at the man who wasn’t reacting like everyone else.

Peter didn’t miss the way he cut his eyes to him before shaking his head.

“She’s fine, that’s all that matters”

“Bullshit!,” Tony guffaws

“Y/N wouldn’t just leave,” Peter pipes up.

“Oh what do you know?,”

Peter looked across the table at Rhodey and didn’t have much to say then. Peter then realized he never knew you at all. You were just someone who showed him the attention he was starved for.

He became an Icarus and had flown too close to the sun.

Running out of the room to dial your phone and only getting a dial tone.

You cut your losses, knowing you’d never be the same after this. You hated feelings, you hated crushes, because someone always gets... crushed, and not in a good way.

Peter tried calling he doesn’t know how many times until he tried the compound phone itself. The caller ID came up on your phone as “home #2” but you knew it was probably him.

You ignore it. That’s be the best. You were thriving. You made friends- your friends were your own- you didn’t have to share his, you didn’t have to worry about mutual friends.

This was for the best.

———

Ned and MJ were doing their best to calm Peter down but did he really have a right to be upset? He didn’t give a fuck about where you guys ended up nd everyone could see that, even if he said he did.

He just saw it too late.

“I hate to break it to you Peter but... I don’t think this is fixable,” MJ shrugs, “She’s come to me about her feelings multiple times and I’ve tried talking to you about it for her but you just won’t listen... she built those walls back up. Her heart isn’t on her sleeve anymore it’s surrounded by a fortress now,”

Peter didn’t want to hear that. He looked to Ned for help but all his best friend could do was frown and look away, knowing the truth of where you stood.

“How could I let this happen? How did I let it get this bad?,”

“You got off on finally having someone, especially someone as sweet as her. I don’t know what it is with the male species but you all are so attention hungry that you forget to take yourself off your own mind for even a millisecond to see the damage your self centered tendencies have caused,”

MJ was not the one to sugar coat it. Sure as Peter’s friends that didn’t do much to help because they did always hang out even if you and Pete had plans.

“A sweet girl like her can only get her heart broken once before she’s never the same again,”

———

Break was here that fast? Were you ready to go back? Were you ready to see everyone? Ready to see him?

Months have passed and he’s tried calling from different numbers, leaving 9 minute voicemails and long ass text messages. You applauded yourself for the self restraint.

You were better than that. You are better than what you were receiving.

“You know he’s going to be there? I can get you a room at a hotel if you want to avoid it,” Rhodey was good to finally have you home for a good month. Visiting you every weekend didn’t do justice for your bond as father and daughter.

“I’ll be fine. He doesn’t move me”

You’ve told yourself that enough to the point where you believed it without a doubt and that’s why you could walk in the doors of the compound and greet everyone without batting an eye at him.

His breath hitched at the sight of you. You were glowing- you were smiling- something he didn’t see much before you left.

Your eyes were already red from lack of sleep and worrying yourself. Skin always dull from pushing yourself to seem put together. He now sees how fake and pitiful your smiles were before. Seeing you now was how you first were when you two started “dating”- it should have never gotten to that stage of no light.

“We missed you, kid,” Clint picks you up and twirls you around.

“I missed you all too,”

“It’s late, but let’s get you settled in and you can tell me all about life where you’ve been,” Natasha took your bags.

Being in your old room was refreshing. Everything was the same and nothing was moved not even. A centimeter. Nat let you clean up in your own space before you called her back.

Hearing a knock on your door, you expected it to happen.

“Peter,”

You didn’t even have to turn to look to know it was him.

“Y/N,”

You were placing clothes in your dresser when he stood awkwardly at the door.

“How you been?,”

“That’s not why you’re here. Now is it?,” no point in beating around the bush right?

“Why’d you leave?”

“Why’d you turn a lover into a savage,” spinning on the heals of your feet you shoot a question right back and found it amusing how he looked like a fish in water trying to thin of an answer.

“All the words you don’t say speak the loudest, Peter,”

“I never meant to be so bad. I- I let it get to my head that I finally had someone who liked me and while I didn’t feel that was at first, I was getting there-,”

“You can’t force yourself to like someone, Peter,”

He knew that. But he feels that way now- but at what cost? it’s too late and he knows that.

“You said you gave a fuck about us but you didn’t and now I see that and that’s fine,”

He went to speak but you stopped him. He had more than enough time to realize his lack of effort before it got this far.

“You don’t get in my brain, you don’t fill up the spaces. My brain is finally void of any thought of you and it’s honestly exhilarating!!,”

You’ve thought about this moment for months. Rehearsing what you’d say until everything was scrapped now and you found the right words.

“I can finally see things that used to remind me of you and not whisper your name. You can stand right there and probably get on your knees begging for me back but I still wouldn’t let you in now!,”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should have been better,”

Yeah- he should have been. Maybe this will be a lesson for him to do better, to be better.

“Tell me,” you step closer and look him in his eyes, “Did you ever feel the way I did at all? Before it even got to this point?,”

He couldn’t even maintain eye contact- that was all the answer you needed

“Get out,”

“Wait, Y/N just listen-,”

“You don’t get my attention anymore!!,” voice booming over his, you stormed passed him and opened your door wide, “Now get out!,”

He still hesitated and you stomped your foot in frustration, now he wanted to stay and be around you? Now that you didn’t want him... how rom-com of him.

“Now!!,”

Your shout was like a jolt of electricity in him that got in to move quickly. You slam your door behind him and catch your breath. Breathing slowly to calm down. That needed to happen. Now you feel like you can finally move on, you said your piece, getting any last words off your mind and feelings off your chest.

Now that you’ve built a fortress, you’ll never be the same. He never felt the way you did at all.

——————

This was probably bad? But I finally had inspiration to write so I hope this is enough. It’s 3 am and I needed to write this before I couldn’t.

Please reblog and comment!!

tags: @vozit @yournonlocalpoc @babybubastis @blackreaders-assemble @retroxvailles @mokacoconut @marvclheaux @dumbchick @warmchick @spideys-wife @xye-weirdo @m00nlightdelights @micki-smiles @veryhellshdia @never-enough-time-for-sleep @here-for-your-bullshit @valynsia @valkyriesnymph @chonisberonica @valentinevirgo @crawlingnightmares @hisxblackxqueen

#black!reader #avengers x reader #mcu imagines #mcu x reader #black mcu imagines #marvel imagine #marvel one shot #marvel x reader #poc!reader #poc reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x black!reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker oneshot #peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #avengers fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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kareem-mohammed · 5 years ago

Text

[Monday, Sept 24rd, 2019]

I wish I can explain it to you, but I still don't have the words for it.

It's been weeks of feeling this way, as if I'm functioning on autopilot, as if I'm not there, someone/something else is occupying my body, controlling it, since I seem to be failing to do so.

Weeks of feeling utter numbness, with sudden intervals of feeling everything. Nothing and everything. Innocence and Instinct. Enemies and familiar friends. And yes I am referring to RED, since it is some sort of a fight inside. Only I haven't really chosen it. I'm not doing anything, sweety. Not ignoring my feelings, not bottling them up, not distracting from them. And yet, I am forced to bear this fight I didn't plan to fight.

I was on my way to get a few books, today, when I noticed where I was. Last time I was there, it was night, and I couldn't be sure where exactly was that, only that it was familiar. The sudden flashbacks I got once my brain registered it is, in fact, the same place, unsettled me. And while the scorching sunlight made it an almost alien place, I still panicked. So, on instinct, I looked up to the sky, expecting to see the dark grey of angry clouds, but saw clear, blue nothingness. Then, why was I feeling the burn of raindrops on my aching skin?

___

‘For much like Icarus and the Sun,

When it rained I cursed the skies.

Fearing it would put out your flames,

Even if it would heal my burning pains.’

—My subconscious recited these at one of my recent dreams, and I wanted to have a word with it; mostly because of how cliché these lines were.

___

Accepting things doesn't necessarily mean they'll stop hurting. It only means that now when it does, we'll understand why it's hurting. It doesn't lessen the pain, doesn't prevent the panic attacks accompanying the unexpected resurfacing of the to-only-be-accepted shit. It's easier to accept our mistakes, our shortcomings, because we've got something to blame it on, even if it's ourselves—especially if it's ourselves. So, we acknowledge the mistake, and work on not repeating it again, or at least not too many times. Basic actions and reactions. You make a mistake, and the universe makes you pay for it. Except it never really required any actions on my behalf for the universe to beat the living hell out of me.

See, we've all been raised on the idea that bad things happen to bad people. And then we grow up, and we find that bad things happen to almost everyone. Bad things happen to us. Does that mean we're bad people, then? Or does it mean that shit just happens anyway? To everyone, every time, everywhere? Whichever concept is true, can you accept either of them?

________

[Tuesday, Sept 25th, 2019]

[23:57]

Heart, it's raining. Again.

And so, I am stuck between the raging storms behind my shutters, and the siren screams echoing against my brain walls. Again.

Triggered. Again.

And I don't know when is this absurdity going to stop.

A couple mornings ago, I started my day with school it is raining that day.

And:

___

‘I hoped it was wrong, but I opened the shutters and there it was: The static, the weighted atmosphere, the greyness—it is going to rain, sweetheart, and I'm not sure I can handle a single raindrop descending on my skin.’

___

That was what I wrote at that moment, the first thing I've written in month of silence.

And I almost caved in again. Because, see, ever since then, every time it would rain, I would hide in my room for even longer.

It is that bad, and, I don't know what to do.

________

[Wednesday, Sept 26th, 2019]

It's 03:35, now.

And something is happening to me.

My brain snapped into a sudden shutdown once that rain continued for over 2 hours, and I can feel it slipping deeper and deeper, and I don't know how to stop it before it's a total shutdown.

It's still raining.

In fact, it's getting even heavier now.

I'm not panicking, yet.

But I feel like I'm drowning.

I am breathing.

But..

Do you know how it feels to take a breath underwater?

Every breath I'm currently taking, feels this way.

I've got a lot of things to do.

I've got a mug of chamomile in front of me. I currently have 4 different types of chamomile at home. And while none of them currently helps me sleep, they just help in keeping me calm. And right now, I'd do anything not to panic just because it's raining again.

That's why I'm writing. Actually, I'm forcing myself to write.

Much like I've been forcing myself to do everything lately.

study. Exercise. Go to walk.

Except, I force myself into starting, and my subconscious forces me to overdo it. Last Sunday, I sat for too many hours overworking on some drawings. I finished 47. I didn't even notice how many I've finished until my hand was tremoring bad enough and I realized I couldn't make a straight line. Last time I exercised, I overdid it until I collapsed breathless. Last few times I forced myself to go to school, it forced me to walk for nothing less than 2 hours on my way back.

And , there must be a reason why I'm beating myself up that bad.

___

‘Nolan: Logically, people punish themselves for something they did, or something they didn't do. So what have you screwed up?

House: I don't know.

House: Okay.. there may be a problem.’

—House M.D., Season 6, Episode 21 ‘Baggage’.

___

And heart, it's not just a ‘september’ in my case, because there IS a problem. It's that rain have been a major trigger for me the last month. I know my triggers. Some of which I outgrown, some I know how to handle, some I still struggle with but can be managed, and some I avoid at all cost because they'll take me back places I'd rather forget ever existed. Rain had never been one. And right now, it makes no sense for one natural element to encompass every single trigger I've fought to avoid. Now all it takes is a thunderclap, a raindrop on my skin, the smell of the earth during rain, and they're all unleashed at me, and.. I'm not sure if I'm really that sleepy, or if I'm just losing consciousness bit by bit..

It's 18:00, now.

My subconscious won.

The triggers came one after the other.

Thoughts of putting an end to it all became louder.

At some point I couldn't fight it anymore, and I surrendered to it, lied down and felt it all. Listened to the thunder claps echoing with my screams; the muffled ones, and the ones which slipped out there to pierce the atmosphere.

I don't remember when I slipped, only that suddenly I wasn't awake, and I was stuck in a self-created hell.

My subconscious trapped me into a total shutdown disguised as sleep. 15 hours of it, in which I wasn't there. Hours in which it shut me out of the world completely. Hours in which I fought with it, wanting to wake up, and it refusing.

And I know it's a coping mechanism. But I hadn't noticed the triggers were that much that it required a total shutdown for my brain to keep me sane and alive.

It makes no sense.

It's childish, and absurd.

I don't know how to stop this.

I don't even understand the root of it all so I could stop it.

‘Traumatic coupling’ was what my therapist called such incidents.

But this is the most fucked up coupling my subconscious created.

___

‘“What’s going on in that head of yours?” He wrapped himself around me. “I don’t know what to do,” he said again. “I don’t know what to do.”’

—Sylvia Day, Crossfire: #5 One With You.

________

I'm writing this part now, the time I'm posting this.

You might be wondering why I'm using my tumblr post format, with dates and timestamps. I'm even mixing it with my hamlettings format, with quotes and lyrics. It's just because I've been writing bits and pieces the last few days. Pieces that aren't even connected. And connecting them will be hard.

Because these pieces make no sense.

But they do, in my head.

They should do, in yours as well.

But they won't.

Much like the last time I wrote you should've but didn't.

Why writing again the last few days?

Because the rain thing became too stupid it's making me angry at you, myself, and the universe. After all, I haven't written about anything more of importance except the rain thing. Because nothing has changed since the last time I wrote you.

Perhaps I'll add that one too, and stop this madness rollercoaster right there, what do you think?

_______

[Thursday, Sept 27st, 2019]

sweety,

I'm only writing this time because I'm hurting. I'm knocked down with pain. In every sense of the word. And I hate you, just as much as I currently hate everyone. and i love !

I was scared that what's been happening would trigger my cynicism again. And I tried, heart. I tried. But to fucking hell with it. Humans are fucked up. We are fucked up. Yet at least we have the decency to admit it. To not take it out on others and pretend like we're not. To put them in hell, then blame them for burning.

___

Do I need to tell you I'm shutdown again? Or has it become a given, once I'm reaching you this way? Have you noticed I'm shutdown? Have you noticed the difference this time? No. You'll have to see me out of this virtual world to see it. Because over here, I'm functioning, nothing is wrong. But the truth is, everything is wrong. And I stopped functioning fully yesterday.

You're wondering if this has anything to do with you, right? And you expect me to tell you it's not, even if it is, because I am that kind. Right? Well, I'm never kind once I'm in this state. I'm only true. And the truth is, you caused this. Whether deliberately or just by your mere haste.

See, sweety,

I think I've avoided this for enough time, now. Or at least that's what my brain decided. Most probably because there were no more distractions to use. And the latest novel series I picked to distract me, in fact, triggered me. I didn't know it would. There were no trigger warnings anywhere. And I'm still trying to understand how the fuck there were none if everything was going to be that detailed. But I'm not angry because of the novel. I'm angry because it made me realize why I was distracting to begin with, why I was avoiding reacting to what you did, why I treated it all so coolly as if it was nothing.

You triggered me.

Heart, you triggered in me a feeling I prayed to never feel again as long as I lived. The only feeling I knew I'd never manage to fight because it's the only one that's true. The only feeling I never doubt. Yet the only feeling I pray was just wrong.

________

Back to meantime.

It makes sense why I stopped writing, after this. Nothing has changed since then. It's the same cycle. No matter what I do, no matter what choices I make, it remains the same. I hadn't noticed I never finished writing this one, though. But then again I remember why I stopped. At that time, I didn't want to share it with the world, and I later sent you everything I didn't write in it, directly. An attempt I tried to help you understand what was happening, so we could find our way around and through it. But you failed to see it that way. And as the days went by after that, I started noticing the effect of it all. There was something worse than the triggers. But it won't make sense to anyone but those who've dealt with it directly; my instinct. Heart, it never failed me. My gut feeling had always been on point. My instinct is the only thing I never doubted. Never. Yet, somehow, it failed me big time with you. And I'm still not sure if it's just been a human error of misinterpreting the signs, of if it really backstabbed me.

___

‘Ziva: I almost died.

Gibbs: But you didn't. You've got to trust your judgement, Ziva. Moment you don't, it won't be “almost”.’

—NCIS, Season 5, Episode 16 ‘Recoil’.

___

But none of that matters,

I just find it worrying that a big part of me taking a step and publicizing my My photos and my drawings was a mere distraction I needed. And my worry grew after that day I overworked myself beyond my limits and didn't know when or how to stop.

I always worry that I'll be the end of me, sweethear.

And I'm finding that to be the ultimate truth, with every passing day.

You know what's another, more important, ultimate truth?

None of what I just wrote matters.

None,.

None.

#pain #broken heart #love #art #Feelings #Poetry #writing prompt

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theloverofdragons · 7 years ago

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now i'm not expecting the spanish inquisition (*wink wink*) but given the immense talent in the zutara fandom, i am expecting that there are loads of amazing fics, got any recommendations??? ^.^

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

But you are very right there anon, there are a lot of amazing fics that this fandom has produced

btw I’ve got more fic recommendations here and here

Multi-Chap

didn’t know my heart by @babyfairybaekhyun;And yet, in a matter of days, she has managed to worm her way under his skin, has cracked open his rib cage and has begun to patch up the endless amount of wounds on his heart(i would also 100% recommend Need the Sun to Break)

With Small Steps by @botherkupo;Mistakes once made cannot be undone, nor can consequences be ignored. A newly crowned Fire Lord is no exception.

i’m still here by @owedbetter“You see me.” And somehow, that makes all the difference.

they call you refugee by @akaiikowrites“You are mine. Maybe I didn’t choose you then, but I choose you now. That changes everything.” Zuko goes into exile with a scar, a mission, and a wife. [Canon Divergence AU]part one ; two ; three ; four

Lilacs and Lily Pads by @sadladybugA tale of clumsy courtship and calamitous court weddings, featuring awkward family encounters, floral mishaps, cultural complications, and good old fashioned fluff and conflict. Takes place in the five years following the war’s end. For Zutara Week 2016. A prequel to Bones.

Moonlight and Sunshadow by @grapefruittwostepThe dragon offered Katara a deal: protection for her family and tribe if she lived with it for a year and a day. And she said yes. Because what other way was there to save her people? But there was more to the dragon than Katara bargained for. An “East of the Sun, West of the Moon” retelling.

an unfortunate series of naked mishaps by @emletish-fishKatara and Zuko secretly seeing each other. They just want a little privacy. Is that too much to ask? Fate it would seem, has other ideas. a series of Naked Mishaps follows. Completed! Rated S for silly and N for nudity

Oneshots

Things That Aren’t by misszeldasayreA late evening stargazing with Katara leads to a secret relationship that takes over Zuko’s life: “The sense of hurtling through space, of free falling into the abyss threatens to overwhelm him. His world, once governed by the sun, is now ruled by the moon sprawled out before him.” Follow Zuko and Katara’s relationship through its genesis, implosion, and resolution.

roll the dice by @raisindeatreSome Zutara, some gen, 100% crack (the gaang play Dungeons and Dragons in the Dark and it is fluffy and hilarious and amazing)

mist & mysteries by @gialaxy;She smiled to herself beneath the veil of her hat, turning to look at the familiar figure that prowled stealthily across the rooftop. He was impossibly silent, as he always was, that she sometimes wondered whether or not he was really there, whether he was merely the face of her lonesome dreams, a wisp of smoke in the night air, a ghost wandering the skyline. Or: The Painted Lady wasn’t planning on spending a night at a stuffy party full of other ‘vigilantes’ with the Blue Spirit, but here they are, doing something that strongly resembles gossiping, and she can’t help but wonder who he is beneath the mask.

Ambitious by Foolish_Moon“Icarus.” She whispered when she first laid eyes on him, remembering the tale of the man who flew too close to the sun. Maybe it was the scar, a burnt mark shaped like a lone wing, contrasting against his pale features; or maybe it was his eyes, golden and glaring, like the merciless sun. Zutara Week 2017 Day 4 Entry.

A Lover of the Lights by euphorellaZuko comes to terms with the aftermaths of the war.

PaintedBlue Super-Hero/Villain AU by @fireprunes‘Oh god, I just had a one night stand with a supervillain’ ‘Dear lord, I just fucked a superhero’ (to make the situation especially awkward; they just lost their viginities to each other)

Lunar Leashed by nonsensicallyrics;Zuko’s compromised senses on the night of the full moon lead to Katara having a dog for a month. AU written for iamartemisday for ZK Secret Santa 2013. Based on the prompt werewolf!Zuko

Drabble Series

Zuko Was No Coward by hootowlZuko was many things, but a coward he was not. A collection of Zutara100 prompts. Title may change.

Fate Loves the Fearless by @babyfairybaekhyunCollection of tumblr ask box fics

Zutara Month by @archergwenHe won’t choose another life, not if he can’t spend it with her, watching her, basking in her glow, seeing her grow into someone even more wonderful. She’d climb an old temple of three thousand steps, carrying him the whole way, if it would mean she gets the next seven lives to see him smile. (some chapters have been re-arranged to be in order of prompt date, not date of publication)

Slices of Ocean Kumquat by @sonicciZutara Week 2011. Mask, History, Social Networking, Secret, Awkward, Legendary, Caught. Theme 7: When Zuko is caught in the act of something utterly despicable, will Katara find it in herself to forgive him?

Smut

The Ocean Takes Me In by @babyfairybaekhyunShe swallows hard, releasing a shuddering breath, and nods. “Perfect,” She whispers, and Zuko is sure that his heart is gone now, wrapped up in her hands.

Heat by @elledixKatara was pretty sure that it should be illegal for the Fire Nation to have heat waves, especially in a nation of firebenders who just absorbed all that heat. One-shot.

Hope you have fun reading these (I absolutely did) ^.^

Happy Shipping!

#answers #zutara #fic recs #long post

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regularbeans · 6 years ago

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Best Singles of 2018 but it’s chill this year

This category should speak for itself but I just tacked so many amendments onto the description that it’s like... it just makes no fucking sense anymore. Technically this is a list for any single that was released this year or last year December (since I write these lists in December it’s easier for songs to slip under my radar so I sometimes count them for the next year, like the Grammy’s eh? But then sometimes I let a November 30th release date slide as well... or maybe the single was released earlier but the video would qualify or just... any dumb fucking reason. If you see a song that shouldn’t qualify just trust me to find a loophole so... lezzgo.

Also hey, I guess I’ll just straight up say it then, there’s no best covers, best collaborations OR best pop songs list either, I just kinda threw them all on here. With a good portion of this list being kpop I’d have to make a whole different kpop list too? No sir, no thank you, I’ll just dump it all on here especially since the past few years most of the pop songs list was already featured on the singles list so like... why make the extra effort? Enjoy All Songs.

Also the order is just ugh, it’s 200 songs, get off my weenie.

>> YOU CAN LISTEN TO ALL OF THIS IN THIS ORDER HERE I SPENT TWO HOURS PUTTING THESE SONGS IN ORDER WHY DID I DO THAT <<

200 Seventeen: Oh My! 199 Nicky Jam: Live It Up (feat. Will Smith, Era Istrefi) 198 Ariana Grande: imagine 197 Mona: Not Alone 196 The Lumineers: Pretty Paper 195 James Bay: Pink Lemonade 194 Lily Kershaw: Moonlight 193 GOT7: Lullaby 192 Bishop Briggs: Baby 191 Zara Larsson: Ruin My Life 190 (G)I-DLE: Hann (Alone) 189 Matt Simons: We Can Do Better 188 Cardi B: I Like It (feat. Bad Bunny, J Balvin) 187 Apink: I’m So Sick 186 Pentagon: Shine 185 Moon Byul & Seulgi: Selfish 184 FOURS: Sweet Reality 183 The Tallest Man on Earth: An Ocean 182 LSD: Audio (feat. Sia, Diplo, Labrinth) 181 David Guetta: Flames (feat. Sia) 180 The Strumbellas: Salvation 179 Wanna One: Boomerang 178 White Lies: Finish Line 177 Gabrielle Aplin: My Mistake 176 Lykke Li: hard rain

175 Poets of the Fall: False Kings 174 Netta: Toy 173 Highlight: Loved 172 Dua Lipa: IDGAF 171 Christina Aguilera: Accelarate (feat. Ty Dolla $ign, 2 Chainz) 170 Tom Walker: Angels 169 Astro: Always You 168 Craig David: I Know You (feat. Bastille) 167 Vance Joy: Call If You Need Me 166 Years & Years: Sanctify 165 Imagine Dragons: Machine 164 LSD: Genius (feat. Sia, Diplo, Labrinth) 163 Jennie: Solo 162 Wanna One: Spring Breeze 161 Mumford & Sons: If I Say 160 Alle Farben: H.O.L.Y. (feat. RHODES) 159 Vance Joy: Saturday Sun 158 Eric Nally: Spirits 157 Gabbie Hanna: Monster 156 Sunmi: Heroine 155 Amy Shark: I Said Hi 154 Taemin: Eclipse 153 Scenic Route to Alaska: How It Feels 152 Sam Fender: Friday Fighting 151 The Score: Glory

150 Sloes: Misunderstood 149 Ina Wroldsen: Mother 148 Dan Owen: Icarus 147 Amber Run: Heaven Is A Place 146 Cosmos & Creature: I Am Free 145 Echosmith: Over My Head 144 NONONO: Friends 143 Grizfolk: Endless Summer 142 Retro Video Club: Chemistry 141 Sam Smith: Fire On Fire 140 flor: get behind this 139 FOURS: Even In My Dreams 138 X Ambassadors: Don’t Stay 137 Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness: Ohio 136 (G)I-DLE: LATATA 135 Clean Bandit: Solo (feat. Demi Lovato) 134 Momoland: BAAM 133 Momoland: BBoom BBoom 132 Florence + the Machine: Hunger 131 Demi Lovato: Sober 130 Loïc Nottet: Go to Sleep 129 The Mowgli’s: Real Good Life 128 Twice: What Is Love? 127 Imagine Dragons: Bad Liar 126 Muse: Thought Contagion

125 Shinedown: Devil 124 Three Days Grace: The Mountain 123 Imagine Dragons: Natural 122 iKON: Love Scenario 121 Snow Patrol: Empress 120 Sigrid: Sucker Punch 119 Will Jay: Never Been In Love 118 YUNGBLUD: Medication 117 Monsta X: Shoot Out 116 The Carters: Apeshit 115 Jess Glynne: I’ll Be There 114 Florence + the Machine: Big God 113 OneRepublic: Connection 112 Vance Joy: I’m With You 111 The Boyz: No Air 110 Vance Joy: We’re Going Home 109 Imagine Dragons: Next to Me 108 Alexander Oscar: Number 107 flor: heart 106 HAUS: Shameless 105 888: Are You Out? 104 Pop Evil: A Crime to Remember 103 The Collier: I’m Older 102 YUNGBLUD: Psychotic Kids 101 The Record Company: Life to Fix

100 The New Pacific: Anchor 099 The Midnight: Scream 098 Modern Me: Dead to Me 097 Layup: Whole New Level 096 Jack & Jack: No One Compares to You 095 FRENSHIP: Mi Amore 094 Bebe Rexha: I’m a Mess 093 IU: BBIBBI 092 dodie: Human (feat. Tom Walker) 091 FOURS: Snap Out of It 090 dodie: If I’m Being Honest 089 Walking On Cars: Monster 088 Tessa Violet: Bad Ideas 087 dodie: Party Tattoos 086 Tessa Violet: Crush 085 Years & Years: Palo Santo 084 Janelle Monáe: Pynk (feat. Grimes) 083 Rudimental: These Days (feat. Jess Glynne, Macklemore, Dan Caplen) 082 OneRepublic: Start Again (feat. Vegas Jones) 081 EXO: Tempo 080 Ariana Grande: God Is a Woman 079 Ariana Grande: no tears left to cry 078 Christina Aguilera: Fall In Line (feat. Demi Lovato) 077 Iz*One: La Vie en Rose 076 Mamamoo: Starry Night

075 Gabbie Hanna: Honestly 074 American Authors: Do My Own Thing 073 AJR: Sober Up 072 The Wombats: Cheetah Tongue 071 Hayley Kiyoko: Curious 070 Bastille: Quarter Past Midnight 069 Jess Glynne: Thursday 068 AJR: Burn the House Down 067 Matt Maeson: The Mask 066 Shawn Mendes: In My Blood 065 Bill Wurtz: And the Day Goes On 064 Shawn Mendes: Nervous 063 Hozier: Movement 062 The Chainsmokers: Sick Boy 061 Kendrick Lamar: All the Stars (feat. SZA) 060 NCT 127: Regular 059 Zendaya & Zac Efron: Rewrite the Stars 058 Mamamoo: Wind Flower 057 Cö Shu Nie: Asphyxia 056 The Faim: Saints of the Sinners 055 Loïc Nottet: On Fire 054 Mamamoo: Egotistic 053 Avril Lavigne: Head Above Water 052 Céline Dion: Ashes 051 Billie Eilish: lovely (feat. Khalid)

050 Bastille & Seeb: Grip 049 Snow Patrol: Life on Earth 048 Mumford & Sons: Guiding Light 047 Imagine Dragons: Zero 046 Childish Gambino: This Is America 045 Blackpink: Ddu-Du Ddu-Du 044 Bruno Mars: Finesse (feat. Cardi B) 043 Matt Maeson: The Hearse 042 Banners: Let Go 041 Kodaline: Follow Your Fire 040 K/DA: POP/STARS 039 Keala Settle: This Is Me 038 Fall Out Boy: Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) 037 Panic! at the Disco: Say Amen (Saturday Night) 036 Twenty One Pilots: Nico and the Niners 035 Bishop Briggs: White Flag 034 Sunmi: Siren 033 YUNGBLUD: 21st Century Liability 032 SIgrid: High Five 031 YUNGBLUD: California 030 Nothing But Thieves: Forever & Ever More 029 j-hope: Daydream 028 Zedd: The Middle (feat. Maren Morris, Grey) 027 j-hope: Airplane 026 BTS: Airplane pt.2 - japanese ver.

025 NEEDTOBREATHE: Bullets 024 Hozier: Nina Cried Power 023 Janelle Monáe: Make Me Feel 022 Panic! at the Disco: Hey Look Ma, I Made It 021 Twenty One Pilots: Jumpsuit 020 X Ambassadors: Amen (feat. Billy Raffoul) 019 BTS: Fake Love 018 Snow Patrol: What If This Is All the Love You Ever Get 017 Matt Maeson: Hallucinogenics 016 Mother Mother: So Down 015 Steve Aoki: Waste It On Me (feat. BTS) 014 BTS: Idol 013 American Authors: Deep Water 012 Editors: Darkness at the Door 011 Twenty One Pilots: My Blood 010 Mamamoo: Paint Me 009 Amber Run: Carousel 008 Editors: Hallelujah (So Low) 007 Years & Years: All For You 006 Snow Patrol: Don’t Give In 005 Panic! at the Disco: High Hopes 004 Editors: Magazine 003 Years & Years: If You’re Over Me 002 Editors: Cold 001 X Ambassadors: Joyful

I mean I was also surprised a little but in the same time they (they) only have three like, official singles this year as far as I’m aware? And they’re not among my most favouritest songs they released this year so... thaaaaaat’s politics!

#listen idol and fake love are good but like #arent joyful levels of good i mean #alright lets calm down and not be ridiculous #long post for ts #best of 2018 #tia's best of 2018

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hereticaloracles · 6 years ago

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New Moon in Gemini: Bat Outta Hell

“The path to paradise begins in hell.” ― Dante Alighieri

Effective Date: June 3rd, 2019

Helios’ Astrological Angle on the New Moon in Gemini– …He…ics… Are…u rec….ing…? No i….ea if… *loud smack* Christ, I’m not sure this old thing even works… I said Heretics can you hear me? Listen, DON’T believe the reports of my death, I am trapped behind enemy lines and there is no way out right now. I’m still here and I’m still fighting. I’m hunkered down and trying to wait out the mortar fire in a basement, and I have no idea if this old ham radio even works (or how to use an old ham radio for that matter!) So I may have just compromised my position. You know what…. screw it. I’ve been hiding out here long enough, I’m ready to make a break for it.

And so we go.

The Sun & Moon, and Mars- This Lunation centers around one key concept, Heretics- are you ready to move on? Some time ago we were forced to descend into our personal hells, and it was a TRIP. You thought you could handle it, I know- and you faced it bravely. You did your absolute damndest, and no one can hold what happened against you. You looked into the eyes of the demon and didn’t blink. The horrors you faced within yourself are past you, but that doesn’t mean that you will forget them anytime soon.

Now that you escaped the torment, what do you do now? I know it doesn’t feel like you ever left, especially every time you close your eyes or allow yourself to relax in the slightest, but you made it out. Make that your mantra when it gets bad- “I made it out. It’s behind me. I made it out”. Here’s the deal- You already know what you have to do. The purpose of the last descent, if you recall, was to clear the past in order to free up your future. This was an obligation, and now you are free to pursue the dream that you spent all that time in 2018 figuring out- but now you have an advantage: You descended into the worst of your fears and nightmares, facing them head-on so that you could move past them as the fully realized, best version of yourself. That was literally the entire point, remember? AND YOU DID IT. Now you have to actually show up and take that bravery to the next level by showing the world who you really are. For too long, you’ve been trying to plan your life around this, avoiding this at all costs. Now it is time to Lean In, giving this life all you have. Open your heart to this world, and show us who you are, who you have fought so hard to become. Everything you bled for, that you held onto for so long, NOW is the time you have been waiting for. Your time has come, and you’re ready to take the stage. Go on then, they just said your cue!

Minor Planets used: Pallas Athene, Altjira, Nessus, Magdalena, Icarus, Pandora, Bacchus

Mercury, Uranus, and Chiron– It all boils down to this: If you want to escape the story that you’re in then STOP TELLING IT! Any day can become the first day of a new age if you say it’s so! You do not have to be a victim any longer if you do not want to be- you can rework your story to be a survivor; a hero who overcomes their trauma despite it all, rather than someone who things just happen to. Your enemy right now is your own mind, mostly impostor syndrome and the belief that after all you have gone through, you are somehow undeserving of love and can never be accepted as you truly are. Well, here’s the deal- if you never SHOW us who you are, hiding behind the mask of who you think we want you to be, how can we ever accept you as you are underneath it? Of course, this can’t happen until you are ready to accept yourself as you are under the mask, which is what this all stems from and is the only solution. You have to be willing to look yourself in the eye and love yourself, no matter what your flaws, scars or history. Do that and you can do anything. Also, if it helps let me be the first to love you.

Minor Planets used: Ceres, Vesta, Ixion, Manwe, Salacia, Bienor, Lachesis & Atropos, Achilles, Panacea, Ophelia

Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto– Here’s the thing; Its fine to hope, dream and wish for your life to change, but the astro now calls for action. See, its been listening to your prayers, you begging for change, and now you have the chance to make it a reality. This requires you to actually take the steps of aligning your vision to your reality. AKA actual work- otherwise it just stays a dream. What you must do, right now, is first speak what you want into existence (Gemini demands words- This can be a prayer, spell, or manifesto) and then start taking steps to make it happen for yourself. The road opens for those who rise to meet it, after all. Luck is on your side, but you have to put in the sweat equity to build your empire. This is in a way the most courageous act I have asked of you yet, and it is the most rewarding. You have to get back up now, and make some moves. I know its terrifying, and a Herculanean task, but trust me, just START somewhere. Do one thing, and then one more thing. Keep doing things, one by one. Use that beautiful focus that Venus is giving you right now. Face your reality for what it is right now so that you can change it into something magnificent.

Minor Planets used: Eros, Psyche, Ceto, Sila-Nunam, Deucalion, Mors-Somnus, Asbolus, Chariklo, Cyllarus, Amycus, Isis, Terpsichore, Hidalgo, Urania, Hekate, Orpheus, Persephone, Hephaistos, Phaethon, Klotho

New Moon in Gemini: Bat Outta Hell was originally published on Heretical Oracles

#new moon gemini #the underworld #underworld astrology #astrology #tarot #asteroid astrology #fuckstrology #bruja #brujeria

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mandysimo13 · 8 years ago

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Because we’re all needing a lift after yesterday

Where is My Galant Knight

John would be lying if he said he had lived a boring life.

A youth spent in fighting, questing, flirting, and where had it got him? A name that conjures an image that they weave in tapestries and write about in poems and a head full of memories. Granted, it was nice to have instant recognition whenever you walked into a new town, complete with every yokel in the land wanting to buy an ale for the gallant, the famous, Sir John Watson. But memories are tricky things. Fallible and all too quick to kick a man when he’s down.

Like, for instance, when you wake up and remember that no matter what you accomplish in life, the woman you love can still run off and marry the local king. Just because.

Yup. Daybreak and already time for a drink , John thought, groaning into his pillow as he reached blindly for a handy jug of table wine.

He hadn’t always been a slovenly has-been. Shaggy hair, unwashed, unshaven. There once was a time when John thought nothing in the world would knock him off his high horse. He had the finest clothes, the best armor, hired the most qualified squire in the land to assist him on his quests. John had amassed a wealth that any dragon would envy. In fact, he grew his own by nabbing the hoard of more than a few slayed dragons. He had worked hard to make himself successful and done any and everything to stay that way. He ran off bandits and churlish mercenaries. He slayed beasts of every kind. He went off to fight wars for the king. He rescued damsels in distress for god’s sake!

But, despite feeling like he’d never come down from the heavens, one event made him crash to earth like Icarus to the sea. A wedding, almost a year gone by, stripped John of all sense of hero-ness.

Unwanted, unasked for, the image of that fateful day replayed in his head even as he tried to erase it with the drink. The echoing voices of time past called to him from inside his head.

John, newly returned from questing, came back to his idyllic town hoping for the arms of his lovely lady, Mary. But alas, the villagers screamed and wailed at him, “she’s been kidnapped, sir! By King Richard!” It had been a week since and no news of Mary had been forthcoming and John feared the worst for his poor sweetheart.

He rode hard for King Richard’s castle, determined to rescue Mary. While stopping just long enough to rest his horses at an inn, he learned that the next day was to be the date of a rushed, royal wedding. That King Richard had found himself a beautiful angel of golden hair and witty demeanor to be his new queen.

Armed with this knowledge, knowing that it could only be his Mary, he pushed his horse to ride through the night to make it just in time to see the sun rise above the castle. He was able to stop the wedding before the binding words “I do”.

John swept into the over decorated cathedral, packed with courtiers and flowers and soldiers to rescue Mary from her kidnapper. Proudly, confidently, he strode the length of the rich, purple carpet laid out in the aisle, smiling all the way.

“Mary, my love! I am here to rescue you from your peril.”

Mary beamed at him. “Oh, John!”

“King Richard, you can have your guards fight with me from dawn till dusk, to an even draw. If you’re sporting for a tourney. And yes, you can offer her riches beyond all our imaginations, comfort for all her days, and endless support and an easy life. But I, only I, John Watson, can give her what her heart truly desires. True love. And that, my King, is what she chooses.” He ended his speech with a courteous bow just before them, waiting for his lady love’s confirmation.

Silence. Confusion. John looked up to see Mary’s pained expression.

“Actually…”

John’s stomach sank, mouth suddenly dry.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since King Richard kidnapped me and...I’m going to go with the fortune and security.” Her expression turned soft, guilty. “Just seems like an easier life, you know?”

John couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The pain of rejection coupled with the public humiliation made his head swim. He was so shocked that he never had time to react before King Richard’s men grabbed him and carried him outside, the sound of Mary’s “I hope we can be friends!” calling after him before he was beaten like a rug.

And, god help him, he let them. He was a broken man, might as well look the part as well.

Grunting at the acidic taste of bad wine in this mouth, John swallowed it and the memory down. He flopped back into bed, willing his aching head to go stuff itself down a well. Peace, quiet, and a jug of decent ale were all he dared hope for these days.

The door slammed open and John’s squire, Greg, came waltzing in, happily bidding him good morning. “How are we feeling today, Sir?”

“What in god’s name do you want, Greg?”

“I see we’re getting an early start on your to-drink list this morning,” Greg chuckled back. He pried the jug from John’s fingers and John protested loudly with groaning before sliding back down between the sheets.

“You know ever since Mary-”

“Don’t say her name,” John groused.

“-married the King,” Greg continued over him, “you haven’t been quite the same.”

“You don’t say,” John spat back sarcastically.

“Don’t you think it’s time to get back out there? Go on questing again? Bring down a couple dragons, maybe a gryphon, enchant a few forest nymphs, keep that name of yours infamous.”

“A perfectly selfless suggestion, I’m sure.” John buried his head in his pillow, refusing to open his eyes and entertain the idea. “My questing has nothing to do with your squire duties and your own career at all.”

“None at all,” Greg facetiously agreed.

“You know I’ve given you more than a dozen chances to leave my employ. You’re the one insisting on coddling me.” John rolled onto his back to stare at his grubby ceiling. “And I let you because I am a selfish man.”

Greg sighed and crossed the room to look down at John. “Would you at least entertain the idea of a quest?” Silence answered him. “Because there is a man bringing with him a great opportunity. One that I think will whet your appetite for adventure again.”

Greg strode over to the door and opened it, welcoming someone inside. “Sir John, I present to you, Lord Mycroft Holmes.”

A man, dressed impeccably in black breeches and coat, stepped into John’s tiny hovel and nodded his head in John’s direction. He gripped a walking stick in his hand, leaning on it slightly as he took in the details of John’s home. Greg saw himself out, giving Lord Holmes an opportunity to beg his case.

“Sir John, I presume.”

John sat up, cursing his aching head as he did so. He looked at the man before him and grinned a crooked grin, giggling as he took him in. “So the legends say.”

“Hardly legends,” Mycroft said under his breath.

“Depends on who you ask.” John bent down to put his boots on. “State your business. The quicker you do, the quicker I can toss you out, eh?”

Mycroft rolled his eyes and said. “As your squire said, I have a quest for you,” the man stopped short and asked, “dare I ask what that smell is?”

John huffed a brief chuckle, rising from the bed. “That’d be me.”

Mycroft sniffed in disgust. “Right. Anyway, I’m sure you know who I am.”

“Yes, yes,” John began as he stalked his way over to his chair and table, searching for a bit of breakfast. “Lord Mycroft Holmes, heir to the realm of Posh-ville and advisor to your father the King. What could you possible want from me?”

“A quest that would be mutually beneficial.”

“That is how quests usually go. Mutually beneficial-y.”

“Two years ago my brother and I had an argument. I thought that it was rather minor but apparently I underestimated his emotions. He snuck out and ran away from home. After ten days of tracking we finally found him. He had locked himself in a tower and cast a spell upon himself.” Mycroft pulled out a well-worn letter and read it aloud, despite obviously having memorized the words.

“Dear brother-mine, you’re growing slow in your old age and added weight. I suggest laying off the cakes chef’s making and spend more time on your sparring. Can't have the future king keeling over due to a fatty diet, god forbid. Had you done so from the beginning, you might have prevented my taking the decision to bring me back out of your hands. Good luck breaking the spell. Ta-ta, don’t let the door hit your gigantic arse on the way out.” Mycroft calmed folded the paper and put it back in his pocket and added, “he has quite the flair for the dramatic.”

“And you obviously want me to go retrieve your stroppy brother is that it?”

“In a nutshell.” Mycroft leaned heavily on the walking stick and said, “there are certain parameters to this spell he put on himself that must be followed if it is to be broken.”

“What did you do,” John asked.

“I’m sorry?”

Finding an apple amongst the debris on the table, John took a bite and asked again, “what did you do? You obviously did something to warrant such a, as you say, dramatic exit. And what sort of spell are we talking about? I’m not exactly a wizard or magician, here.” Not that John was terribly interested in donning his armor and charging out on his horse any time soon. Still, he was curious.

“That does not concern you.”

“It could,” John pointed out.

“It really couldn’t,” Mycroft insisted.

Shrugging and taking another bite of apple, John motioned for the man to continue. “The spell my brother, Sherlock in case you were wondering, has put him in an eternal sleep.”

“Sounds like a hard prognosis to cure.”

“To break it,” Mycroft went on, ignoring John’s input, “requires two things. First, that he is not moved from his resting place. Secondly, that he be woken with a kiss.”

John laughed.

He actually, truly laughed. From the depths of his belly, climbing up his throat and bursting from his mouth like a stream, his laughter gripped him suddenly and tightly. It had been so long since he laughed without abandon that his stomach and cheeks soon hurt with the convulsions. He wiped his tearing eyes and said, “sorry, sorry, that’s just.” He broke out into a brief laugh once more before sobering enough to get a sentence out. “Oh, that is rich. Thank you for that.”

“I’m glad to have amused you,” Mycroft said, clearly unamused.

“But that is some fairytale shit, Lord Holmes. And I’m no fairytale hero.”

“That’s not what the legends say.”

John huffed, suddenly unamused. “Hardly legends.” Another bite of apple. “You said so yourself.”

Mycroft eyed him for a long minute, categorizing details, making John want to squirm in his seat. After a few full minutes of heavy silence Mycroft said with a sneer, “what happened to you?”

John put his feet up on his table, leaning back and presenting his whole self, no longer caring what anyone thought. “I lost everything. Everything that meant anything to me. And my family has a nasty tendency to drown their sorrows in the drink.” He reached down to grab an empty bottle for emphasis before tossing it aside. “Add all that together and,” he gestured to himself and said, “ta-da!”

Mycroft looked pale, uncertain and disgusted. “Irrelevant. I need your skillset and unfortunately that skillset is attached to you.”

John huffed humorlessly under his breath, “irrelevant.” At once, John stood and said, “nice to meet you.” John pointed to the door, “door’s on the wall.” He spied an unopened bottle of wine and raised it in mock-cheer, before heading back towards his bed.

Mycroft reached out and stopped him with a hand to John’s shoulder. “Please.” His voice screamed of a man unaccustomed to asking twice or saying please. “You will be generously compensated.”

“I’m sure.”

“You’ll increase your fame and glory.”

“Oh, most definitely,” John agreed.

“And you’ll serve a purpose besides being serving as an incredible mimic of a dungheap.”

“Absolutely.” John smiled at him, throwing an arm around Mycroft’s shoulder, leading him to the door.

“So, you’ll do it?”

John opened the door, smile growing wider. “Not a chance.” He shoved the rich ponce out his door before slamming it in his face.

Tags under the cut. Continued on AO3 - (X)

If you don’t wish to be tagged in future installments, please let me know. Or, if you do wish to be tagged, please let me know.

@ellipsicalelle @sweeter-than-cynicism @benedictgingerbatch00 @thedownfaller @readermagnifique @soldierjhwatson @fuck-off-watson @salve-regina-mills

#fic #writing #my fic #my writing #johnlock

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omgnsfwisnsfw-blog · 5 years ago

Text

NSFW #2.4: Make Your Mark

The sun hung high in the clear azure sky, casting the cliffs and sandy ground in a light golden hue. The setting was one that called to mind any number of stories, mental images of camels and oases and, of course, pyramids. But to the contrary, NSFW were not visiting the Great Pyramids, one of the legendary Seven Wonders that happened to be in the city where Valor Pro was hosting their event. Instead, they’d traveled several hours away to Luxor, the fabled Valley of the Kings. It brought them to where they stood now- inside of a magnificent three tiered temple that seemed to glow in the same golden cast as its surroundings. Several groups of tourists wound their way up the grand staircases and through its ancient halls. Bishop Church and Mike McGuire, however, were already in an area only restored a few years prior, taking a moment to appreciate what lay before them- and turning an eye toward their GoPro camera, set up on its portable tripod. Their outfits coordinated well- both in khaki shorts and sturdy hiking boots, sporting their new ‘Cherry Bomb!’ tanks. Bishop sported an NSFW branded ballcap to shield his eyes from the sun, while Mike opted for their ever present Mets cap. They hadn’t made a habit of wearing their own merchandise lately but someone special was bound to get riled up when they watch. “Welcome to Egypt, Valor Pro faithful! I gotta tell you, there ain’t a better place the brass coulda picked for this show. The whole country is soaked in history. Legendary kings hundreds of thousands of years old have left their marks all around us. And this here? This grand piece of fuckin’ architecture is dedicated to one of ‘em- Hatshepsut. Now, Hatshepsut was an interesting piece of work, different from any other of the great Pharaohs of ancient Egypt. And that had a lot to do, well, with who she was.” They were in a long, somewhat narrow room with an arched ceiling. The walls were adorned with murals, colorful in spite of their age even though there were quite a few pieces of imagery missing, and the ceiling a still vivid blue sporting row after row of yellow stars to mimic the desert sky at night. While Mike spoke, John observed with his hands behind his back. For someone so broad, he did his best to minimize his impact on this ancient ground. “In modern times, everything about her is accessible within seconds. But here,” John’s right hand gestured to the pictures in front of him, “is one of the major ways the ancient Egyptians communicated. And so despite Hatshepsut’s accomplishments, she was slowly erased and when she wasn’t? Her ascension and motives were all questioned and scrutinized.” “There’s been lots of speculation on why her successor- her stepson- did that. A common theory goes that he didn’t hold her any ill will personally, but didn’t want any other women getting ideas on doing what she did and becoming Pharaoh themselves. But whatever his motive was? It didn’t fucking work, because, as my partner said, you can look up her reign in seconds. We’re talking about her right now. Which is a testament to the fact that true greatness can’t be buried forever.” Mike went to lean against the wall in a casual manner, but a somewhat alarmed look from their partner stopped them and they folded their arms instead. “Of course, chipping away cartouches and pulling down statues ain’t the only way to try to diminish someone’s mark on the world. Trying to muddy the narrative’s the bog standard these days. Kicking up so much shit that what makes someone shine is lost in a storm of crap that either ain’t true or doesn’t matter.” John finally turned around to face the camera, he stood close to his partner. “We’re somewhat used to it,” John paused, “A business decision was made to not renew our contracts in our previous place of employment. There were whispers circulating as to why. And within moments, our tenure had been rewritten by those that linger like wraiths. Coming to Valor Pro was our way of saying to them, to anyone, that our legacy is ours. But here we are, contenders already, and yet the focus has shifted to something that is less than desirable. That’s why we feel that it is on us to remind everyone just who we are.” “We are the kings of tag team wrestling. The falling Icarus, the Cherry Bombers, the Bishop and the Queen. Our bond is fuckin’ unbreakable and our faith in each other is unshakable, no matter how much shit tries to cover up our legacy.” Mike shifted their hat to the side. “And here you are, Reboca, stepping up to us with your fuckin’ arrogance and cracks about our age while conveniently forgetting to say boo about the fact that your fiance's job is hanging in the balance. Too busy sucking yourself off to remember that detail? Or do you really not give a shit?” “Maybe you do. Maybe you’ve got that card clutched to your chest. But Cross Reboca, we understand where your priorities lie. You took one look at us and you dismissed us. You see NSFW as an appetizer to your grand feast. Dakota Jennings, though,” he turned to Mike, “Her actions are debatable but even then, I like her.” “Me too. In other circumstances, we could be friends. She’s totally my kind of gal. There’s just one eentsy weentsy little thing wrong- girl, you’ve got a real whacked out view of your current situation. Let’s break this down. We’ve talked about this and I don’t wanna hang on it too long, but let’s play devil’s advocate and say Vannah had it coming. That doesn’t mean you got carte fucking blanche to wallop everyone with a chair who looks at you goddamn cockeyed. Holy shit. I mean, I’ll admit to playing fast and loose with the rules, but when you go around making modern fucking art with steel chairs and blood? And the brass gets sick of your goddamn shenanigans and calls you to the carpet? There’s only one person responsible for the predicament you wind up in, and I’ll give you a hint- it ain’t Ms. Vanessa Byrne. And even so? And this is the kicker, Jennings- you cry foul on getting punished for your shit at the same time you’re selling fucking t-shirts of it. Wow.” Mike let out a subtle ‘whew’, having said all that in a minimal amount of breaths. Their partner graciously picked up the thread. “And so that’s why you’re here. Back against the wall. Wounded animal. Against all odds. All of those cliches. It puts Mike and I in an unfortunate predicament. We are the arbitrators. We have the final say on your career in Valor Pro.” There was a poignant pause. Footsteps going away from them in the distance can be heard. “Right now, right here, it gives me second thoughts. To extinguish a young career would be no proud achievement. But Mike knows about me. Knows how I handle business in that ring. Once I step between those ropes, friend or foe, I don’t care who you are.” “That’s true. We got a little saying between ourselves- ‘it’s different in the ring’. Now, that phrase has a few meanings for us, most’re personal. But the one you need to be concerned with is the one my partner just alluded to. Because he’s dead serious and so am I- soon as that bell rings, we don’t care. Soon as that bell rings, our sole fuckin’ sphere of concern involves watching each other’s backs and making sure one of you stays down for three, no matter what we have to do to make that happen. Reboca has his arrogance and skill. Jennings has her violence and moxie. That may or may not be enough, but we will do horrible fucking things to you to make sure’s shit it isn’t.” Mike’s eyes were hard-cut emeralds in the dim light, narrowed, sharp, and dangerous. “Three seconds is the easy way out,” John’s fists balled up, the muscles in his arms taut with tension, “I’d need about nine myself. First, blood flow is cut to the brain. All of those vibrant colors become muted. Vision fails. Then like pulling a plug, the ability to move, to speak, to remember, to feel love - that all goes away as the frontal cortex shuts down. A second later, unconsciousness. The bell rings. You don’t hear that. It takes three seconds for normal brain function to resume. And when it does, Dakota Jennings, you’ll come to the realization that while Cross Reboca still has his greatest opportunity to date, you will have nothing.” “Shit’s cold. But that’s the business. I’m sure you two understand.” Mike shrugged. “Also understand we ain’t selling you short. We know we’re in for a hell of a fight. We know you two won’t be split easy- no matter what Cross does or doesn’t say, even if he is the guy in this fight with the least to lose, you two are gonna get married. And it’ll probably be a big, fancy affair, destination venue, celebrity appearances, gourmet cake personally barbecued by Guy Fieri guaranteed to take you to fuckin’ Flavortown, the works!” John mouthed the words to himself, ‘barbecued cake?’ “You got that to look forward to. You got love for each other that nobody’s gonna deny. Nothing can take that away from you…” Inhale. Exhale. Their expression sets in a certain sort of determination and defiance. They looked to their partner, who responded with a slight nod. “...just like nothing can take what me and Church have away from us. Nothing. We don’t have the glitz, the glamour. The fancy cars an’ movie stars, the high roller suites. You live like superstars. But we’re Not Superstars- we’re Fuckin’ Wrestlers. And that fact? That is why we’re going to be Valor Pro’s next Chimera Tag Team Champions.” Giving that crooked grin of theirs, Mike clicked off the camera. It wasn’t a moment too soon. Before Mike could even say anything about what they’d just recorded, a stampede of footfalls echoed through the ancient stone hallways, and a small throng of people came into the shrine where NSFW had just finished recording. They cut between them, the two of them momentarily on opposite sides of a small Nile of humanity, occupying the empty spaces in the murals long since partially erased. Their eyes stayed connected, even as the tour group made their way around the chamber and took pictures. When a part of the room thinned out, they made their way back to the center. Mike held out their hand. John took it, and the two of them joined the group in their appreciation of ancient history.

#location: luxor

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