#i know i go through these periods of inactivity so it isn't NEW but... sigh
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astralsweetness · 2 years ago
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Hi Luna!! Writing updates? Life updates? It's been a while since we heard from you, is this blog still active?
Hi! I'd love to write again, I'm just struggling to find things that capture my interest for it that I think you guys would also like to see. It's a delicate line between writing for myself and writing for others' enjoyment, and I've kind of burned out on writing for Pentagon, just like I burned out on writing for Seventeen, most likely because I hyper-fixated on them so intensely for such a long period of time. I can't think of anything to write for them that I haven't already done - and I can only do so much with requests that are like "so-and-so and thigh riding" when I've already written that once or twice or more. If there were newer prompts, then I might be able to find some inspiration there. There are some more popular groups I'd like to try writing like Stray Kids, or older groups like specific members of Super Junior or Shinee, but the latter doesn't seem popular on here and the former didn't get any interest when I brought it up before. I want to find something I both would like to do and that you guys would like to see as well.
I've been having a really tough time lately, both with mental and physical health and college [I'm enrolled in two right now] so I've kind of ended up reverting back to comfort singers of mine, which are a lot of 2nd gen idols. Eunhyuk, Minho, Donghae, Hanhae, Tei, Key, etc, and I haven't really said anything about them on here bcs I know no one really cares about them when it comes to fics on Tumblr, and even less when they're written as sub. I did have a thing I wrote that I was going to post on here, but I had a mental breakdown shortly after finishing it and ended up deleting it entirely lol. @funkywinkyboy got to experience what the mental breakdown was like, it wasn't pretty.
In the mean time, I'll give a suuuper short recommended list since I am a failure as a writer, so maybe you can get your fic-fix through them instead:
@euphoricsunflowers Venus is a very lovely person who runs a very nice sub!idol blog. I think she's got sub!svt on the brain rn, so if you wanna go fill her inbox with that stuff.. 👀
@blu-joons Chloe is pretty much well-known for having a blog with every damn fandom that exists on it.. you sort of can’t go wrong with perusing her masterlist. pls go appreciate her and what she does
@pinkchubbiebunnie Tanisha isn’t a kpop blog but she’s kept me afloat this last month without really even knowing I was grasping onto her blog and our interactions to keep my head above water. If you’re into Stranger Things or The Walking Dead go check her out. She’s doing a cute lil Halloween event rn too so.. prime time to go
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writer-ish · 3 years ago
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φόβος, or the persistence of fear
prompt: to shower with my muse / for sex on a table/counter/desk / for our muses to try a new position + words: “make me” pairing: mason x detective (grace bennett) word count: 5.3k words | rating: super E!!! (minors dni) summary: φόβος (FO-vos) Greek. “fear”. Post-Book 3 Final Demo, Mason and Grace have some trouble overcoming their individual fears.
author note: i know you said “or”, lovely @detective-sweetheart , but to my eyes you were issuing a challenge as to whether or not i could do them ALL. i didn’t quite succeed, but hopefully it doesn’t disappoint. 😘 and, uh… *side-eyes the word count* ...yeah. really should get that ao3 account up and running huh?
warning: this smutty lil fic immediately follows the end of the final demo for book 3 (bobby route) so if you don't want any inkling of what that's all about, stay away.
XX nsfw prompts
X X X X
Saying that it had been “one of those days” would not only be an insult to days but to the concept of singularity itself.
By the time they roll into the warehouse, it's just after nine-thirty in the evening. The sun has already dipped beyond the horizon almost entirely, but there remains an eerie summer glow of light that seems to permeate the atmosphere. Not quite day, not quite night, but instead some liminal moment that feels almost otherworldly. Familiar, yet not.
Grace shivers.
Mason, sitting beside her in the roomy black SUV, turns towards her as the almost-imperceptible tremor runs through her body.
She meets his gaze, taking in his expression – tight and concerned, the grey of his irises stormy and conflicted – before she feels his hand reach across her lap and cup her outer thigh, tugging her closer to him.
They wait in silence as Adam parks and the rest of Unit Bravo gets out, Felix patting her leg reassuringly from beside her before exiting on his side. Mason gets out as well and turns to her, hands now shoved deep in the pockets of his leather jacket.
It's Grace's turn, so she gingerly exits, the weight of the day finally revealing the toll it's taken on her body. The fifteen minutes of inactivity in the car were, apparently, all it had needed as a reminder of what she'd endured in the last sixteen hours or so. All of a sudden she feels exhausted, weighted down, frustrated, and in desperate need of a shower.
"You good?" Mason asks as they walk together towards the entrance of the warehouse, shoulders brushing, a bit behind the others.
"Just tired," she responds, rubbing her eyes wearily. "Can't wait to shower and just lie down."
"Need any help with that?" The drawled reply is rife with a familiar irreverence, but there is something heavier in his tone that makes Grace glance up.
He's looking down at her, telltale smirk on his lips. But his grey eyes are dim and there's a furrow between his brows that isn't normally there.
"Yes."
Her quick response seems to surprise him; he stops walking and turns to look at her with an inscrutable expression. She can understand why—she isn't normally so brazen when it comes to his advances and she knows he revels in her shyness sometimes. Mastering the art of getting a rise out of her, making her flustered, teasing her and watching her blush.
But this time she doesn't care if her response feels bold or unlike her. Since dawn that morning, the litany of things she'd experienced were enough emotional and physical turmoil to last a person a lifetime, never mind a period that's comprised of less than twenty-four hours.
And now she wants Mason and she wants a shower and she wants to sleep. In whatever order she can have them.
Instead of saying anything flirtatious or sarcastic, he lets his eyes roam over her face for a moment and then he just nods and drapes an arm over her shoulders, leading her inside.
Upon entering the Warehouse, they’re greeted by Adam, Nate, and Felix, who appear to have been waiting for them. All three agents turn when they see Mason and Grace walking in, and Grace feels a pang of guilt, knowing that Adam will probably want to coordinate a meeting of some sort to go over the events of the day as well as next steps.
Sure enough, he intercepts them as they attempt to walk by.
“We should be debriefing on everything that just occurred." Adam crosses his arms and peers down at Grace. "And Detective, have you gotten a hold of Agent Bennett? I can’t seem to—“
Grace opens her mouth to reply, and perhaps Mason can feel the way her body leans away from him, already attempting to gear herself up for the meeting Adam has planned for them all, because he tugs her closer and begins dragging her away, speaking over her before she has a chance to respond.
“The Detective,” he announces, forcing her to keep pace with him, “is currently unavailable."
She can feel Adam's disapproval radiating at her back and she looks up at Mason helplessly.
"Stop," he commands her, then says over his shoulder: "She's had a rough day, okay? We'll meet in the morning."
Adam grumbles his reluctant acquiescence and Felix shouts after them: "Don't forget how thin the walls are!"
Nate splutters, as Mason throws back: "They're concrete!"
Nate’s splutters turn into a groan as Felix responds: "With you two it doesn't seem to make a difference."
Grace groans as well, feeling the heat surge up into her cheeks as she buries her face in her hands. Mason just laughs and continues to drag her along.
As soon as she gets to her room, she lets him in and then closes the door firmly behind them, leaning on it heavily with a deep sigh.
Mason is already walking around the small room, inspecting the current aesthetic. When the room had been set up for her, cues had apparently been taken from her own apartment. So there’s a vibe that can definitely be considered “cozy”, like her style – long white curtains, a plethora of pillows, a down comforter – while also being weirdly unfamiliar. It’s like a Sims version of her own place in some Bizarro universe. She isn’t sure if it makes her feel more at home—or less.
“What did you bring from your place?” His voice breaks her out of her reverie and she looks at him in surprise.
“Oh, uh—” Taking a look around, her brow furrows. “Honestly, not much. After what happened this morning, I didn’t have the wherewithal to grab anything that I really needed. Thank god there’s some stuff here. But I’m going to have to go back tomorrow and sift through the damage. See what can be salvaged.” She shrugs, then to her horror, she can feel her eyes inadvertently well with tears.
“Hey, hey—” Mason is in front of her before she can blink, tilting her chin up. “What’s that for?”
“Ugh, just—” She rubs her eyes frustratedly. “What a fucking day.”
“Yeah, you’ve been through it,” he agrees, before roughly pulling her into his arms. “One for the record books.”
His arms around her provide more comfort than he could probably ever understand and she feels her whole body wilt into his strength and his heat and his scent.
“I’m so sick of days ‘for the record books’,” she mumbles into his chest and she can feel his chuckle more than she hears it.
“Why don’t we see if we can make this one a bit better, hmm?” She looks up just in time for him to capture her lips with his.
Letting out a little sigh, she twines her arms around his neck and allows him to kiss her slowly, leisurely, taking little sips from her mouth, stroking her tongue with his own, stoking a slow fire that always seems to be maintaining a low burn in his presence. She presses her body closer, enjoying the feel of her breasts against his torso, his growing hardness pressing into her stomach.
He glides his hands down her back and cups her bottom, squeezing it appreciatively, before pulling her even closer still.
Moving his mouth to her neck, his teeth glide against her pulse point, and her heart skips a little beat when she feels the sharpness of his canines against her sensitive skin.
“Relax,” he whispers, kissing her softly right in the place where his teeth had just scraped. “This isn’t where I want to taste you.”
She lets out a little whimper and brings his mouth back to hers, kissing him fiercely, feeling the points and ridges of his teeth with her tongue crowding his mouth. He pulls her tightly to him, dragging her body up so her feet leave the ground, and then he drops her backwards on the bed, his knee already down on the mattress with her, poised to pounce.
“No—” she protests and before she can blink he’s off of her and standing at the edge of the bed.
“What is it?” His voice is calm, with none of the frustration she would assume he’d be feeling in that moment.
“No, it’s just—” She pauses and glances at the door to the ensuite bathroom, teeth digging into her bottom lip. “I really need a shower, before any… tasting happens.”
He blinks and then in a flash he’s on her again, his body pressing her deep into the soft mattress.
“For what it’s worth, sweetheart,” he says, nipping at her lips, “I’ll taste you whenever, however.”
“Reassuring,” she laughs, “but trust me when I say a shower is needed.”
“Then let’s get you wet.” She laughs again with a groan, allowing him to hoist her up.
He tugs at her shirt and she raises her arms accommodatingly, allowing him to lift it up and over her head. Piece by piece, he undresses her, hands grazing her skin with each article he removes, discarding the item as quickly as it comes off her body, until she stands in front of him fully nude.
Self-consciousness at her nudity is a forgotten pastime now that she’s with Mason. It’s something about the way he looks at her —he’s always just so pleased. With her or with himself she can’t tell, but either way it does wonders for one’s self esteem.
Even now, she can almost feel the heat emanating off of him, a hungry smoulder of pure energy as his eyes roam up and down her body.
“Shower,” she squeaks, not sure who needs the reminder more.
Instead of answering, he lifts her up effortlessly, dragging her thighs around him until she can cross her ankles behind his back. She feels the fabric of his clothing rubbing every inch of bare skin it encounters – the leather of his jacket against her nipples, his jeans between her legs – and he settles her onto a dresser that she literally hadn’t even noticed before that moment.
Her breathing escalates in anticipation and yearning, waiting for wherever his mouth or his tongue or his teeth go next, but instead he remains quiet and still, before leaning forward and resting his forehead on her shoulder.
She freezes, unsure what he wants or even what she should do. And then she feels it.
A light tremor, scarcely noticeable, running through his body.
Before she can react, his arms tighten around her in a crushing hug and she instinctively hugs him back fiercely, running her hands up and down his back, pulling him closer with her legs.
“Mason,” she whispers. “What—?”
With a growl, he lifts his head and captures her mouth with his own, teeth and tongues clashing in a hungry, desperate kiss. His fingers tangle in her hair as his thumbs caress her cheekbones in a juxtaposition of rough and gentle.
She kisses him back, trying to keep up with the shift in his mood. Pulling away with a gasp, she attempts to catch his eye.
“Are you—?”
Groaning, he leans in and kisses her again, hands running over her body in frantic strokes, as though memorizing the shape of her with his palms.
When he lifts his head again, she sees the conflict in his narrowed gaze, the grey irises stormy with anger and desire and another, less discernible emotion that causes gooseflesh to rise on her bare skin.
“Just look at you.” His voice is harsh, almost angry, and her jaw slackens in surprise at his tone. He tilts away from her as he speaks and she registers the absence acutely as cool air hits bare skin that now feels on display, her legs still spread open around him.
Shyness overcomes her as she becomes truly conscious of her nudity for the first time. She makes to close her legs and he grips them tighter around his hips so she can’t move them, his eyes flicking between hers, seeking answers and absolution.
“You’re so soft, so small,” he continues, his voice still rough with shades of anger, even as his words feel hollow and almost somehow reminiscent of—grief? “This skin, this body you’re in—it’s so weak.”
“Mason!” She finds her voice finally, confusion and indignation at war with one another in her mind as she tries to coincide his expression – which can only be described as tortured – with the hurtful things he’s saying.
“How can we let you go back out there?” His voice is raw now, the anger appearing to slowly fade away, leaving him worn-out and desperate in its wake. “Unprotected? Out in the open for any fucker to grab, to take. To hurt?” He gives her a little shake and she gasps. “Huh? How?”
Understanding dawns. Yes, it had been a rough day for her. One of the worst.
But it looks as though, maybe, it had been a rough day for him, too.
Immediately, her hands begin to move of their own volition, running up his chest and over his shoulders. His whole body seems to sag, the fight draining out of him completely, and he closes his eyes, turning his head away from her.
“I have the Agency,” she murmurs as she tries to soothe him with her touch, her tone, her words. She tucks her hands under his jacket and pushes it off until it drops on the floor. Smoothing her hands back up his arms, she doesn’t stop until they cup his face. “I have them to protect me.”
She turns his head and waits until he opens his eyes, his gaze still narrowed, but with a telltale furrow in his brow.
“And I have you,” she adds, softly. “To protect me.” She pauses, watching the creases in his forehead smooth even as his eyes drift away from hers once more. “I’ll be okay.”
He reminds her now of a beast being soothed; a wolf, perhaps—hackles still up, but with the understanding that the threat has passed, for the time being, at least.
She knows not to look too much into it; loyalty is intrinsic to Mason’s being. His defence of her would be his defence of any of them.
But she kisses his brow anyway, just in case. His cheek, too, even as he stiffens in her arms.
“I’ll be okay,” she repeats, “unless I don’t get a shower in the next thirty seconds.”
His expression shifts back to a familiar one: arched brow, lips curled up on one side, white teeth showing one sharp canine. He seems almost relieved, though at what she’s not sure – the reprieve? Her unspoken forgiveness? Her assurance?
Regardless, she knows she won’t get the answers she seeks and, sure enough, he says nothing, only lifts her back into his arms and carts her off to the bathroom.
She can’t help but laugh against his neck, although her heart still thumps an erratic beat at the odd moment they’d just had.
Depositing her by the sink, he peels off his shirt, dropping it unceremoniously onto the floor as he reaches inside the shower to turn on the water. He then strips out of his pants and underwear just as quickly, appearing more comfortable in his nudity than he is clothed—a fact that she’s come to realize is true.
She can’t help but take him in, flawless and muscular, a constellation of freckles across his upper body and arms. Unruly onyx waves tumble towards his shoulders and her fingers itch to run through them. His chest is covered in short, curling hairs that stretch across his pectorals and down, over his defined stomach and even further still. His prominent erection is unselfconsciously on display, flushed and waiting, apparently, for her.
Feeling the colour rise in her cheeks as she stares, she hazards a glance back up to his face.
He’s regarding her quietly, a growing smile on his lips, his gaze half-lidded and pleased.
“Like what you see, sweetheart?”
“Always,” she responds before she can lose her nerve, her face heating even more.
He chuckles softly, taking a step towards her, stroking his knuckles down her cheek. “The feeling is mutual.” He nods towards the running water. “Feel that and tell me if it’s okay.”
Hopping off the counter, she reaches her hand in. The water is scalding and she hisses out a breath, before adjusting it slightly cooler. She waits a beat until it runs at a suitable temperature on her palm and wrist. “That’s good for me. You?”
She finds herself craning her neck to look up at him. He’s standing tall in front of her, looking down without really tilting his chin. He has a half smile on his face as he watches her and she feels herself redden again under his gaze.
“I’ll be fine,” he says eventually, before crowding her until she has no choice but to take a step in.
Entering the shower fully, she allows the water to run down her back, tilting her head to wet her hair. He follows her in and runs his fingers softly down her chest, snagging on her nipples, already distended and aching.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, tracing over her lightly with his fingertips, playing and stroking. One finger circling a nipple before going down further until it grazes between her legs.
She bites back a moan as her eyes shut briefly, her palms pressing back against the cool tile of the shower for some sort of purchase.
He loops an arm around her waist and brings her to him, kissing her wetly, open-mouthed and demanding, their bare skin slipping against one another.
Swiftly, he turns her, pressing himself into the cleft of her ass. She can feel his hardness wedged deeply between her; a new sensation, but not entirely unpleasant, either. She wriggles experimentally and gasps at the titillating pressure.
“One day,” he murmurs in her ear, reading her mind, and she knows from the way he chuckles that her cheeks have gone truly red this time.
He strokes down her forearms, linking his fingers overtop hers before pressing them onto the tile so that her body is forced to tilt forward slightly. Then, he adjusts the spray of the water so it’s not hitting them directly.
“Open.” His voice is a gruff command and she can’t help but obey, her feet slipping slightly in her haste to spread her legs.
She feels his hand course over her wet skin, erection still pressed against her bottom, as his fingers move across her, teasing and playing, until they settle into the warm, liquid centre of her.
She lets out a protracted moan, her legs shaking, the relief of finally having him touch her right where she needs him to almost more than she can bear.
He strokes her masterfully, a finger delving into the wetness her body is producing just for him, for his touch, and then circling at the apex of her thighs. Her clit throbs with his attention and she can’t help but cry out as he applies steady continuous pressure. The shaking in her legs increases and his body presses against her even tighter, his other hand coming up to cup her breast, thumb strumming her nipple at the same pace as his other finger works her clit.
“I want you to come,” his voice grinds out next to her ear. “I want you to come all over my hand. I can already feel you dripping all over me, all over yourself. Let go, sweetheart.” He bites her neck lightly and she feels the sharp prick of his fangs on her sensitive flesh. “Let go.”
The pain and pleasure intertwine into a blinding flash of white light, her body convulsing as she cries out, her shout echoing throughout the small room. Her legs give way and he holds her steady against him, his arm the only barrier between her and the tiles.
She comes down slowly from her climax, her shaky breath echoing around them, trembling fingers still scrabbling for purchase on the wet tiled walls of the shower.
Before she can fully catch her breath, he turns her around wordlessly and crushes his mouth to hers again. She matches his fervour, opening her mouth and allowing him to consume her. Their kisses feel hungry, desperate, and she whimpers against his lips. Tightening his hold, he lifts her up into his arms, pressing her against the cool tiles. She can feel his hands splayed across her back, cushioning the impact, and she tightens her legs to draw him closer.
His erection is notched between her legs, stroking hotly up and down the teeming wetness there, both from the shower streaming between them and also, she knows, from her own body’s response to him, his nearness, and the promise of what’s to come.
She reaches between them and grips him, running her hand up and down his length as he tilts his head back and groans.
“Jesus, Gracie,” he bites off, and she can feel his fingers digging into her where they rest on her upper and lower back. “You gotta stop that, sweetheart, before I—”
“Make me,” she teases, revelling in these small, rare moments where she has the upper hand.
His head snaps up and she feels her heart skip a beat at the expression on his face, those silvery irises as thin as crescent moons against the deep black of his dilated pupils. His lips curl in a familiar smirk as he bounces her up higher in his arms. Laughing in surprise, she loses her grip on him and has to put her arms around his neck instead for balance.
At the new height he has her, she can feel the tip of his cock nudging into her liquid centre.
She lets out a breath that extends into a moan, feeling him enter her as she opens for him further. He holds her steady, hands cupping her ass as he guides her down, then back up, then down again, allowing her body time to accommodate him comfortably.
“Oh,” she whimpers, the sensation almost too much for her to bear. “I can’t—I’ve never—”
“Shhh.” He shifts and one hand goes to the back of her neck, drawing her head down his shoulder, while his other arm grips her around her hips. “I got you.”
Slowly, slowly he thrusts and pulls back, thrusts and pulls back, shallow and fluid movements, her body giving and giving some more, until he holds her tightly against him, their pelvises notched together, him fully seated within her.
There is never a moment in which she feels so vulnerable as the moment when they’re connected like this. Her body trembles with emotion, the full weight of the day finally crashing down on her. She tightens her thighs against his hips and her arms around his neck, tilting her head to kiss his wet, freckled shoulder, neck and jaw, happy that the steady stream of water from the showerhead prevents him from noticing the tears streaking down her cheeks.
She can’t do this right now, she can’t allow herself to succumb to this moment, these feelings, because if she does, she’s going to say something she regrets. Something that will ruin everything.
So she distracts herself with the physicality of what they’re doing and with the pressing need for release.
“Move,” she begs with a sob that hopefully he believes is impassioned rather than emotional. She rocks her hips against him, needing the moment to end just as much as she needs it to last forever.
He quickly and silently obeys, using her body to create a rhythm that matches his own, crowding her against the corner of the shower, holding her securely in his arms. She can feel his heart pounding against her body and without thinking, she digs her teeth into the soft skin where his neck meets shoulder, not hard enough to draw blood but certainly enough to leave a mark.
The sudden action, fierce and uncharacteristic of her, almost possessive in its intensity, clearly surprises him. His hips stutter against hers and his hands grip her tightly—so tightly that she knows she’ll be seeing the bruises in the morning. He lets out a hoarse shout and she can feel his release inside her and that’s all it takes to send her hurtling over the edge with him. Letting out a cry that matches his, she rides the wave of her own climax, her body holding tightly to his, inside and out.
They stay like that for a beat, hearts pounding, Grace’s breath echoing shakily against the tiles. Gently, Mason disentangles her from him and sets her down, still holding her against him firmly. He strokes her back until she can get her breathing and pulse under control.
Once she’s steady, he pulls away from her. She inadvertently lets out a whimper as the water, now lukewarm, causes goosebumps to rise on her skin, the heat from his body too tempting to be taken from her. She has no reason to be concerned, however, because he’s back on her almost immediately, this time with a soft, soapy cloth in his hand that he begins to wash with her with.
Long, languid strokes down her back, her arms, the backs of her legs. Gently between her legs as he washes away the intermingled essence of what they’ve just done, rinsing and rewashing, in light, soft strokes.
She allows him his ministrations, feeling sleepier and more languorous by the moment, enjoying the feel of him caring for her. She registers that the soap has a light scent, inoffensive to her own nostrils, but she can’t help but wonder if it bothers him.
Reaching up lazily, with an arm that feels sluggish and heavier than usual, she brushes the damp hair back from his forehead.
“The soap—?” she tries, taking the wash cloth from him and allowing it to drop between them. She steps back slightly and rinses herself with the water streaming down.
“It’s fine.” He shrugs. “I can only smell you.”
“Me—?” She realizes belatedly he means her arousal, and the evidence of their union, and her face flares up with heat once more. His smirk turns into a full fledged grin.
“Oh, sweetheart, if I could make you blush like that forever, I’d be one lucky son of a bitch.”
The word forever seems to hang between them and the smile drops quickly from his face at her sharp intake of breath.
“Turn around,” he says gruffly and she obeys quickly, reluctant to allow the moment to be shattered completely.
She hears the sound of another liquid dispenser and the telltale coconut scent of her favourite shampoo fills the humid space – when the Agency does something, they really do it right, she thinks, impressed and a little weirded out – before she feels Mason’s hands in her hair.
If she’d expected impatience or roughness from him in this endeavour, she’s pleasantly surprised to be proven wrong. For all his brusqueness and usual lack of desire to perform acts of service for others – outside those related to sexual pleasure – he takes his time with her hair, leisurely massaging in the shampoo, fingertips expertly pressing into her scalp and lathering the wet strands.
She tilts her head back and closes her eyes, a hum of pleasure escaping her lips. The warm water streams over her body and she’s convinced she’d be able to fall asleep standing if she let herself.
After a few more moments of quiet bliss, Mason places his hands on her shoulders and turns her back around. He gently tilts her chin up until the water is streaming over her hair now and she brings her own hands up to assist in rinsing out all the shampoo.
As she gets the shampoo out of her hair, his hands idly tease and caress her, his fingers running over her body once more in light strokes. The touch doesn’t seem to be intended to reignite anything; instead, it appears to be for the simple pleasure of just touching her.
They’re both quiet, the need or the desire to speak seemingly sapped out of them, and she allows him his touches, until all the soap is out of her hair and off her body. Then, she languidly opens her eyes and just watches him—watches how his eyes follow his hands as they move over her body, tracing her with his gaze as well as his fingers.
“Your turn?” she asks, finally, her voice a quiet echo in the small space.
He shakes his head and gathers her close to him, kissing her soundly on the mouth. “I’m good. Ready to come out?”
Instead of answering, she wraps her arms around his neck, stroking down his back and into his damp hair, the unruly waves curling around her fingers more than usual. She kisses him again, then nods against his lips, her eyes dropping closed of their own volition.
The rest is a blur. She feels him towel her off, remaining completely boneless the entire time and succumbing to his ministrations with nary a physical protest. He must dry himself as well, but who knows, because next thing she feels is him carrying her to her bed. She snuggles even more securely into his arms and she can swear she registers his lips against her forehead.
When he settles her on top of the covers she doesn’t even bother to do anything except burrow herself underneath them, still naked, hair frizzing and damp.
Her eyes are still closed, but she knows he hasn’t left, can feel him like a physical ache. Hovering but not touching or sitting. She doesn’t know if he’s in the process of dressing or stark naked. Doesn’t know if his intent is to stay or to go.
The need to keep her feelings inside, to not...ruin things, or push him away, is so, so strong. She could ask him to stay and he could go anyway, taking her heart with him. She could stay silent and wait for him to make his own decision, knowing the outcome would likely be the same.
As she wars with herself, feeling time ticking past, feeling him slowly slipping away, an image arises in her mind unbidden.
It’s his eyes.
She thinks of how they’d looked that morning, clouded with worry and not a hint of lasciviousness, even though she knew she’d been about ninety-nine percent see-through as she’d squelched up the drive.
How they’d looked when he’d apologized to her for his harsh words at Haley’s the other day, contrite and a little bit confused.
The way they’d held anger and, more than that, hurt when Bobby had spoken about kissing her.
And then she thinks about the look she’d seen in them as they’d all been overrun by Trappers and, immediately afterwards, as she had faced certain kidnapping by a supernatural he knew he could not defend her from.
He’d been terrified.
Those storm-grey irises, so familiar and already so dear, had been filled with abject terror and fear.
Fear for her.
The images fade as she hears him rustling, collecting his things.
She thinks again about how he’d been scared for her. Scared of losing her.
She’s scared, too.
She’s scared that all of this might be for naught. That she’ll fall deeper and deeper in love and he’ll soon be looking for a way out.
But tonight isn’t for fears, she decides. Tonight, they’re safe. Tonight, they’re together.
Tonight, he's hers.
“Mason?” Her eyes remain closed, but she hears his movements stop. She lets out a shaky breath, releasing the final bit of her trepidation, before speaking with conviction:
“I want you to stay.”
X X X X
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renee-writer · 5 years ago
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The Diner Chapter 8 I Should Have Thought
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“Wow!” she comes back to awareness of time and place slowly. He lay breathlessly beside her and simply nods. “Wow I knew from the heat that flows between us but..”
“Aye, it was…”
“Surreal, spectacular, earthshattering .” she supplies.
“Aye all that.”
She rolls over to face him. “Well, it had been over a year. It was bound to be..”
“Nae Claire. It wasn’t just about the end of my celibacy. That went way beyond sex and ye ken it.”
“I what it?”
He shakes himself. “Sorry. Ken means know.”
“Oh. Maybe.” She stretches out and grimaces before her face truly twist up in pain. “Owe.” She reaches for her shin. “Owe. Damn it!”
“A cramp?” She nods.” Let go.” He moves her hands off her leg and starts to kneed the knotted muscles.
“Hurts! Owe. Bad!”
“I ken love. Sae sorry. Relax it as much as ye can.” He presses his thumbs deep and she groans but mot in a good way. “My fault. I should have.”
“Better. It is getting better.” He eases up some but still continues to work it until the muscles is completely relaxed again.
“Why do you say it is your fault?”
“Because I should have made more frequent stops. Let ye out to stretch yer legs out. I ken the dangers of sitting still tae long.”
“Jamie, it was just a leg cramp.”
“Aye, thank Christ. It could have been far worse.”He stands up and starts to pace. “Ye see, long periods of inactivity can cause blood clots. Ye are used tae being on yer feet for hours. I should have seen tae ye better.”
“Jamie, you have seen to me fine. Really. I should have moved more. But, that is on me too, right. I am an adult.”
“Aye, ye are. We will do better.”
“Yes. Now please come back. I want to discuss what you yelled out.”
“What I yelled out?”
“Right. I don’t know the language.” He takes a seat back beside her.
“It is Ghaildhig. I am getting better at speaking and thinking just in English but in the midst of passion and strong emotions, I return tae my roots.”
“ Makes sense. What were you saying?” He urges her to his side. When her head is resting comfortably on his chest, he answers her.
“Hmm, I called out tae God. I believe I said holy f'ck when we were joined.”
“And at the end? It seems you were addressing me but not by name.”
“Nae was yer name. Sorcha is the Gaelic version of your name. It means light.”
“That is awesome. But what did you say before that?” He doesn’t wish to answer her. But, it is important to be honest so..
“I said, I love ye so much.”
“But, we have only known each other less then a week. How can?”
“Ye said.”
“I said I thought I was. Not that I was certain.”
“Well, I am. I ken ye have yer doubts and ye are welcome tae them. They do make more sense. Take ye time. Sort it out in yer head and heart.”
“You are certain. Love, it isn't an easy thing for me. This is. Sex is. But, love means until it is convenient. It means leaving when times get rough. Not following through.”
“Yer dad?”
“Yes. He 'loved' my mom until be found out I was on the way. I have never meet him. Never laid eyes on him. This man who was supposed to be my first love. I want to trust this Jamie but it is hard. Very hard.”
“I get it. Truly. I am going no where. No matter what.”
“You say that now, in this sweet afterglow.”
“I will say it when we get a flat on the side of the road. If we are stuck in traffic. When ye or I is in a bad snippy mood. When ye are sick. Or in pain. I will say it if the rubber breaks. I am going no where.” She sighs as he holds her close and strokes her back.
“How can you know? So soon?”
“I ken'd as soon as I meet yer eyes. Sometimes, when we are really blessed, hearts just call out to each other. Yer's called out tae me and mine tae yer's. It is why ye are here. Ye just have tae trust in it.”
“I will try. I have a question.”
“Aye?”
“Was the condom new and are there more?”
“Aye tae both. Would ye like tae eat or shower before..”
“No.” She climbs on top of him and takes his lips and any farther questions.
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