#i know his was one you have to answer and i felt for him in that situation because he had to answer yes or no

[simpjaes]

color coded ― l. hs

You were just browsing, looking at all of the various kinks and fantasies the great world wide web had to offer. It’s not like you intended to make an account on a specific website to meet someone. Really, you were just curious about what was behind the “only members can view this page” banner. What you definitely weren’t expecting was to be pulled into actually meeting one of the men behind said banner, or enjoying it so much that you’d like for him to hurt you more.  or the one where you join a kink website and a specific dom’s profile catches your attention enough to actually meet him at a hotel and practically ignore your safe words bc man, he’s good. 

minors dni !! | kindly leave feedback.

WORDCOUNT ― 8.7k

PAIRING ― heeseung x afab reader

CONTENT ― dom!heeseung, open minded sub!reader, smut, reader wants to explore her interests in kinks and finds the best person for the job

WARNINGS ― this is mildly cnc in some areas but reader does want it and there are safe words (colors) but she intentionally doesn’t use them. she’s having fun.

NOTE ― if you’ve read this before it’s bc i wrote it on @/ncteez for johnny ages ago! SHOUT OUT TO MY BELOVED PATREON BABES!! They voted that the member I revamp this for be Heeseung, so now everyone gets another Heeseung work from me :D

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― MONSTER COCK HEESEUNG AGENDA, reader is referred to as: “sweetheart”, "baby”, “dirty girl”, “pain slut”, and “plaything”, face fucking, bulge kink but like– via throat, choking, drooling, dirty talk, slapping, restraining, suffocation, degrading, praise, panty sucking, brief oral for the reader, teasing, short lived thigh fucking, cream pie, cock-drunk reader, biting, abuse of breasts, orgasm via nipple stimulation, clit abuse, hair pulling, fingering, overstimulation, Heeseung is kind of a sadist at times, unprotected sex, aftercare

 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You joined this website out of curiosity, and you also messaged user SayPlease out of curiosity. You said please to him, you thanked him, you used all of those manners you grew up learning in a way that they were never intended for, and…well, it worked. 

Truly, it was because you were curious and you had no intentions of actually doing it. You wanted to try out some fantasies in the safety of your own room, alone. You wanted to keep it under wraps and just see how your body reacts to the words and images the people on this website offer. You were expecting your body to react at least a little bit, but you weren’t expecting to have one of the best orgasms of your life guided by his words through a muffled speaker. 

Heeseung knew you were new to this, he knew you were just exploring, and most of all, he knew he could control you. After all, you did so well during that first phone call. He’s truly not surprised that you were willing to meet with him in person after a short week or so of communicating. 

All of them eventually want the same thing, you’re no different. 

 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Pulling up to the hotel felt ill-fitting for you considering this isn’t something you’d normally do. No, of course not. Why would you go out and meet some random man you met on a fetish website? Why would you be wearing the prettiest panties you own in hopes to get some praise for them? Why would you have been the one to suggest meeting him in the midst of a sexting session where he sent you the most delicious image of his hand squeezing around his cock, texting that he knew you’d do a great job of choking it? 

Why you, right? No one needs to know that answer. This is a private affair, one where only you and Heeseung know what’s going to happen. You’re nervous, based on how he speaks to you alone. You keep forgetting how new you are to all of this. Some rules you know are in place, but what about other things? Will he explain? Will he sit you down and make you sign a contract like what happened in that one book everyone was raving about? 

The walk from your car to the room with dainty metal numbers screwed into the door felt like it took ages. You didn’t have a key, and you were a bit early for this meeting but the anxiety bubbling in your gut said that if you didn’t do this now, you’d probably have already been pulling out to drive home and pretend this never happened.

He was already behind that door though, and only when he starts opening it do you realize that never once have you seen his face. You’ve heard his voice, you’ve seen his body, but never his face. He, on the other hand, never saw you at all, he only heard you. 

Is this how this type of thing usually goes down? Are appearances not part of the fun? Suddenly, you find yourself worried that he’s only going to be attractive from the neck down, which would ruin it for you, if you’re being honest.

On instinct you back away from the door, ready to run back to your car and delete your profile, block his number, and erase this endeavor from your memory but when he comes into view,, you find yourself freezing on the spot.

Messy dark hair, somewhat soft eyes, taller than you, pretty smile. This man looks exactly like a dom that would talk to you the way he already has. It doesn’t match the face you imagined on him though. Hardened eyes, a grimace on his lips, something along the lines of a person who probably carries themself as some type of cocky prick with a huge ego to match his cock. But no, this is what Heeseung looks like. He looks…soft, and almost compassionate if you’re reading his facial expression right.

He doesn’t say anything to you at first, he just watches your reaction to his face reveal all while he takes in what you look like for the first time. He liked the surprise of it all, not knowing what his next partner actually looks like until he’s about to have them on their knees. He’s had all sorts of partners fulfill his fantasy without the expectation that he would want them too, after all, it’s about the pleasure and not entirely the attraction in his mind. You, however, are incredibly attractive. What a perfect little pair of eyes to match that whining voice of yours that he’s heard so much of. He imagines how much better you’d look while crying..

“There she is.” He says warmly, stepping to the side and letting you into the room. “More beautiful than I could have hoped for.” 

Already you’re blushing as you step into the room, deciding once and for all that, yeah, you’re doing this. His confidence in complimenting you matches the way he talked to you before, except now he’s in front of you and looking at you. It hits you straight in the stomach, even as you still try to comprehend his kind words versus the ones he growled through the speaker at you just days ago.

You’re silent as you take your shoes off and stand awkwardly in front of the made-up, plush, probably half-assed cleaned hotel bed. 

“You’re nervous?” He chuckles out, locking the door behind him and walking over to casually sit on the bed. His legs fall open easily as he looks down at himself, then up at you through the messy fringe falling in front of his eyes. “You can still back out, you know.”

You shake your head, struggling not to make eye contact with him. 

“Are there like–” You’re embarrassed by how nervous you are, unable to string together a sentence or try to keep this calm and casual. 

“Hm? Go on, I’m not going to do anything until you’re sure you want it.” He smiles, cocking his head to the side and trailing his eyes up and down your body. He really can’t stop looking at you, hoping that you’ll let him have his way. The memory of how you sounded on the phone flooding his mind as he puts your face to the moaning voice over and over again. He remembers how wet you sounded, he could hear you fuck yourself so clearly. 

“Rules. Are there any rules?” 

Heeseung darts his eyes to the ceiling in thought. Right, he knows you’re new but– damn is he selfish. 

“If you want rules, we can set them now. A safe word is good,” He pauses, reaching to grab at your hand to pull you next to him. “Sit.”

He says it politely, more like an offer than demand but you can’t see him as anything other than the dominant man you’d spoken to before. Even with a face that looks as soft as his right now. 

Your stomach does flips as you obey, already feeling entirely dominated.

“Usually, a safe word is the only thing I set and it tends to help people learn their limits. I will stop if you say it.” He tries to explain, ultimately to leave limitations up to you during the act. 

After all, since you’re so new, how would you even know what you don’t like anyway? Sure, some people in this community find Heeseung’s way of doing things shady at best, but he does communicate his preferred method first. He isn’t trying to trick you into doing something you don’t want to do, he just wants the freedom to let you explore all of the things that he likes. 

“I’m not sure what rules are even meant to be set.” You explain, finally gaining enough composure to talk clearly now. “Don’t pee in my mouth?”

He nods in agreement with a roll of his eye, looking at you as if he is encouraging you to continue.

“What’s the safe word then?” You ask, unintentionally fiddling your fingers in a nervous way. You catch his eye watching you, and you note the way he does his best to calm you from any anxiety.

“Some people pick random words, but colors are usually a good way to go. Yellow for when you’re not sure, but I can keep going. Red for when I need to stop.” 

“No green?” You ask.

“I mean, technically everything is green until you state otherwise, isn’t it?” 

He’s right.

“Any other things that are a hard no?” He asks again, ruffling his hair through his fingers. “Fair warning, I will hit you, choke you, restrain you, among many other things,” he pauses and looks for your reaction. “unless you tell me now that you don’t want it.”

You look at him and how his soft features have hardened slightly with his tense jaw, your thoughts derailing again as you see the words coming from a mouth so plush and pretty.

“Is kissing allowed?” You ask, completely unrelated to his string of offered abuse.

“If you want to kiss me through all of this, and your mouth is available, sure, I don’t see why not.” 

You nod, taking it all in. Yellow. Red. No piss (this time). You’re going to hurt, and you can kiss him. 

“Okay.” You say in a small voice, looking away from him and down to your lap. “Can you start slow?”

“No.” Heeseung admits. He’s incredibly attracted to your nervousness, and even more attracted to the way your voice is already shaking despite not having touched you yet. God, you’re like a brand new canvas. “You have safe words, use them if it’s too much. I don’t ‘go slow’,” He adds, spreading his legs a bit more. “I do what I want, you do what I want, and maybe you’ll get what you want in return.”

There is no tone of politeness in his voice now, and you assume he switched fully into this persona the moment you muttered the word “okay.” More nervous now, you almost wonder if it’s too late to back out. Do you even want to? Because now you’re turning and you can see the way he’s looking back at you. You’re just exploring, and he’s right, you have safe words.

“Okay.” You say again against the anxiety in your belly, knowing that once it starts, that’s your chance to decide if your exploration was worth it.

Without warning, you hear the zipper of his jeans being pulled at, and before you know it his length is out and on display. He grips it much like he did in the photos he sent to you. Matching his body more to his face now, you stare at it. It’s much bigger in person, and more intimidating to imagine having inside of you. Not only is it long but it’s incredibly thick, part of you wonders if you could even fit it into your mouth at all. 

“You mentioned being on birth control, right? And being tested as clean?” He asks, looking down at himself and then back at you to watch you slowly nod in an answer.

He basks in the way you stare, blinking at the way he’s gripping onto himself for you to see. But, like he said, he’s not going to start slow for you. With the brief discussion and questions out of the way, he’s going in full force.

“On the floor.” He nods his head to the space between his legs. 

Your body takes you to the position between his legs without so much as a second thought. Your fingers instinctually land against the harsh fabric of his jeans as you attempt to prepare yourself, swallowing hard at the image of his cock towering before you. 

“No, hands behind your back.” He guides you with a smile and watches the way you pull your hands back and put them right where he asked you to.

“Already so obedient? I knew you wouldn’t be hard to handle.” 

You can’t tell if it’s a compliment or not, but it feels like it is because it sends a sense of pride through you. Does he like to fight for what he wants, or does he prefer having full control? 

Heeseung releases the grip on his length and places his hand at the back of your head, slowly guiding your mouth to his balls, twitching a bit at the way you instantly have your tongue out to lick and taste wherever he guides you. That alone drives him wild, seeing as how you may be new to this whole submissive thing, but surely you know how to suck a man off, right?

“You barely even know me, look at you lapping away.” He teases as he watches you, a smirk against his lips while he guides your head up to the underside of his cock. “What would your parents think?”

You knew he’d degrade you, but in all fairness, none of what he just said to you is a lie. You don’t even know his last name, you didn’t even know what he fucking looked like until fifteen minutes ago. Your parents would have a heart attack if they knew, and somehow feeling this dirty makes your stomach tumble and panties dampen.

He stops guiding you for a moment, feeling your tongue travel back down to his balls, licking and prodding against them in a way that makes him want to buck his hips up, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t show want or need for his partners, ever. That’s their role to fill, because if he wants to fuck something, he can. 

“Up,” He guides with a slap to your cheek, feeling your tongue travel up the underside of his cock again. “Open up.” He adds as he stares down at you, seeing you open your mouth fully while keeping your tongue flat against him. 

When you circle your lips around the head, you want to take your time. You want to prepare for the fact that Heeseung has a huge cock and it’s going to take some getting used to. Apparently, that wasn’t going to happen though, because now his hand is putting pressure on your head to go down, and your body fights it slightly because your throat has never been prepared for this kind of size?.

“No?” He asks, pulling your head off of him and seeing if you’re already going to give him a red, but you don’t. You don’t even look at him and instead, focus your eyes on the head of his cock trying to be better prepared. 

You almost hear the chuckle he lets out, the silent code word of green shining through in the way you say nothing. With that, he places both hands on your head and holds it there. 

“Deep breath–” He encourages. “Look at me.” 

Your eyes dart up to his as you take in a sharp inhale, and then, he’s not sliding in, he’s plunging past your lips, straight down your throat. The thickness of him forces your jaw to strain open as he angles himself, watching you try to close your eyes to refrain from gagging. 

“Open your eyes, look at me.” He demands this time, pressing further into your mouth and leaving little room for you to fight it. You do your best to look up at him, straining as he watches his cock disappear deeper into your mouth. Then, he holds you there, stiffening his hips just to twitch his cock and stretch your throat out.

For a moment, ignoring the fact that your lips are being spread impossibly wide and you can feel your throat attempting to constrict around the intrusion, you watch the way his face stares down at you. He’s really into this. Concentrated on sliding his full, hardened cock as deep as it can go into your mouth. And when he hits the back of your throat a third time and there’s a tear shedding down your cheek, he fucking chuckles.

“It’s not so bad, right?” He asks, knowing you can’t answer with a mouth full of him. 

That’s when the grip on your head becomes harsher and he starts fucking his hips forward, past your lips. He can feel you struggle, squeezing his length as it fills your throat, dripping precum and fully aware that you can’t even taste it. 

“Deeper.” He decides in a quick grunt, standing to his feet from the edge of the bed, holding your face on his cock and pressing in more, until he can hear the drool bubble from the corners of your mouth.

He stares down at you and the way your neck cranes. He can almost see the bulge of his cock intruding your throat as he presses in tightly if he angles his head right. He coos at you, rubbing a thumb against your cheek. 

“Pretty, tight little throat.” Heeseung compliments, reaching his hand down to rest against your neck so that he can feel his length sliding in and out of your throat. “Do you hate this?” 

You can’t respond, closing your eyes and trying to breathe through your nose. Your jaw is already hurting, your makeup is now ruined, and for some reason, you don’t hate it. You like the feeling of your breath being lost, with his hand pressed against any airway you could have possibly used at this moment. 

Arms still behind your back, you can’t help but pull them forward to brace your hands against your own knees as he continues to fuck into your mouth at a more aggressive pace. When he pulls almost all the way out, you steal little gasps that end up sounding more like wet, desperate, attempts to breathe. When he presses all the way back in, bruising your throat in an immaculate show of how big he is, he doesn’t make a single sound and only concentrates on the way he can feel his cock sliding against the palm of his hand through the expanse of skin along your neck. 

He does this for what feels like ages to you, and briefly you forget the pain of it and remember when he texted you the photo, saying you’d probably rather be choking on it. Experiencing it now, it’s more than you had imagined before, but also, in its own way, a million times better than you could have imagined. 

Heeseung’s hips start to slow as he releases his grip on your neck and moves his hands either side of your head. He holds you there on him as he tenses his muscles, your nose pressing against his abdomen and you can feel his cock twitch in the deepest depths your throat has to offer. You are continuously gagging around him and only now does he let out a moan, one that is deep and breathy. You open your eyes to try and look, but the angle doesn’t allow for it. All you can see is the expanse of skin along his abdomen and chest before his hands release your head.

He’s expecting you to pull back, considering you haven’t gotten a full breath of air since he started doing this, but you don't. He jerks his head down to look at you when he feels your hands grip at his jeans again. Heeseung doesn’t even think to tell you to put them back behind your back now, because you are willingly still choking on him. He can feel your tongue struggle to share the space in your mouth with him, the heaviness of his cock weighing it down.

“Shit–” He groans, staring down at you and the way you close your eyes so tightly in concentration, all in an attempt to please him. “Oh, fuck.” He throws his head back again this time, feeling the way you try to move your mouth on him, essentially deep-throating all on your own.

When he looks back down at you, he’s floored by the wetness against your cheeks. You’ve been crying this whole time, dribbling drool, and taking it so well. He makes a point to pull himself out of you because of it. 

The whimper that leaves your lips is something he doesn’t think he can forget. A raspy whimper. A fucking cry, he’d be lying if it didn’t sound like you were disappointed that he stopped suffocating you.

“Eager to please.” He starts sweetly, pinching your drool-coated chin between his thumb and pointer finger. “You like letting me use that tight little throat?”

You blink through your tears, nodding to him. You surprised yourself with how much you were able to take in that instant, and how willing you were to do it for longer. 

“Like you were made for it,” He hisses out this time, pulling you up by the chin so that you can stand in front of him, “Show me how wet this pussy is.” 

You can’t look away from his eyes, especially with the way he stares directly into yours when he cups his palm between your legs. Even with your clothes on, your body prickles with goosebumps at the sensation of him touching you there. 

“Can feel you through these shorts,” he smiles, dipping his head down to ghost over the shell of your ear before moving his hand to the button of your shorts. “Do you want me to touch you? I bet you do.”

You’ve never begged before, and you never really understood why people begged at all, but at this moment you think you would absolutely fall right back to your knees and plead for him to touch you. You can feel your shorts sticking to you, your panties uncomfortably tucked into your seeping pussy at the very act of him fucking your mouth. 

“Please?” You choke out, voice still raspy as you try to speak.

Heeseung chuckles at your pathetic attempt and pulls you by your shorts to step forward as he takes one step back. He shakes his head at you in pity, sitting himself on the bed as he drags you to stand between his legs. 

“Turn around.” He guides you with his hand before circling your ass with his hands and landing a short slap against the back of your thigh. “Now, sit.”

He still guides you, positioning his cock between both of your plush thighs and holding in a shiver at the way the hem of your shorts drags against his length. 

You know you get nothing out of this, and he’s not going to touch you yet but fuck, you need it at this point. He watched you gag around him, he watched you try your fucking best, and this is what you get in return? The head of his cock peeking from your thighs as you squeeze around them? So be it. 

You keep both feet on the floor, doing your best to keep your legs together as you make an attempt to bounce against his lap but he stops you instantly.

“I didn’t say you could move,” he warns, placing his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist before leaning both of you back and then rolling you over to your side. “Cross your legs and squeeze. Don’t move.”

You do exactly as he asks, crossing your legs at the ankle and lying there still as he slips his cock from between your thighs. You wait like this for a moment before you feel the head of his length nudging between, this time more wet than before, and then his hand is traveling to your belly and under your shirt from behind you. 

“Big tits too, ever gotten off from nipple play?” he whispers, his hand ignoring your bra and pinching straight through the sheer fabric against your nipple. “Would love to see how you’d drench these shorts if you could do that for me.” 

Your mind is racing, feeling his fingers tightening the pinch against your nipple and his cock lazily sliding between your thighs. You shake your head, not knowing if it is even possible to get off that way. Sensitive tits aside, if he can do it, you might just have to find a way to claim Heeseung as your dom, and no one else's.

“You haven’t?” He chuckles from behind you, snaking his other hand under you and up to your other tit. “Let’s see.” 

He uses both hands to move your bra to the outer swell of your breasts and gropes both of them before pausing and focusing on his cock between your legs for a split second. 

“Keep your legs tight for me, babe, I’ll reward you for it.” 

You squeeze your legs tighter as you feel his fingertips gently flick both of your nipples. You try to focus on that sensation alone, feeling a short jolt of pleasure travel down your body and straight to your clit. God, you want him to touch your pussy so badly, because there’s no way you can get off from this alone. 

His focus falls back to you, fucking his hips forward all while he allows his fingers to put more and more pressure into the flicks and pinches. You must not realize the way your body trembles even at this, and it’s driving him fucking insane. You’re so new to this, but you suck cock like you’ve been a submissive plaything for years. You have so much to learn, so much to experience, and it’s hard for him not to want to do it all right here, right fucking now. 

Without warning, he pulls his hips back and leaves his cock untouched. You’re about to turn your body to him in confusion but he does it for you. Rolling you over onto your back before kicking his own pants off. Now, he positions himself between your legs. He looks at you, deep and dark eyes matching the smirk on his face.

“Show me,” he starts, pulling your shirt off of you in one swift motion and staring down at your chest. “Wanna see them before I fucking ruin them.” 

Typically, it’s normal for you to be fairly silent in these situations, so having no response for him isn’t a surprise. What is surprising is the way your throat instantly forces out a small moan when his legs force you to spread yours as he settles between them.

Even the sensation of your pussy opening beneath your shorts at the spread of your legs has you feeling more aroused than before. So, when he shocks you with a quick slap against one of your tits, you’re not even surprised that it feels good.

He watches your face after that slap, your slack jaw rising into a small and cocky smirk at the realization that you’re liking what he’s doing. He’s still in the green, so he slaps again, harder this time before leaning down and licking the spot he just hit. 

He pulls your bra up with one hand, raising it to your collar bone to release both of your tits and leaving them vulnerable to any hit, kiss, bite, or pinch he has to offer. You don’t care, because when you manage to open your eyes and look at him, he’s entirely focused on the way your nipples harden and soften from the sensations. 

When he leans down to lick, your pussy clenches at the wet heat of his tongue flicking your nipple, and when his teeth graze as a warning for a future bite, you only anticipate it. Your body instinctively humping up each time a jolt is sent to your clit. He bites hard, and then pulls back to slap against your other tit even harder. Until you’re left shaking, babbling incoherently with gasps and curses. 

“Does it hurt enough?” He coos, leaning back down to lick the growing swell against your tits. “Do you want more?”

He’s surprised that you nod, chuckling to himself because he was already going just as hard as he normally would when a woman likes breast abuse. You want more? You want him to go harder? He hums in response, using one hand to grip harshly against one tit and dipping down to suck against a particularly swollen and sore area on the other.. 

You feel the pain, the sensation running down your body much like the arousal and pleasure does. It’s almost hard to tell the difference between them, aside from the fact that the pain actually hits harder. The feeling of his mouth abusing you, his hands, all while his cock is hanging heavy and neglected against your thigh? You can take more than this even, you’re sure of it. 

Without really intended to, your hands find their way to his hair. He almost pulls back to demand that you let go, to inform you that he gave no permission to touch him, but the way you pull against his strands has him replacing his harsh sucking and biting against your flesh to flicking his tongue against your nipple again. Surely, you can cum from this, surely, you’re close if you’re stepping out of line, right? 

He’s going to make damn sure you’re soaking your shorts before he rewards you again, after all. 

You moan at the flutters of his tongue gently flicking your nipple, especially in contrast to his other hand bruising your other breast. It’s strange, really, to feel that familiar build up in your stomach but then again, your panties are tucked so tightly between your lips that your clothing is actually offering a bit of pleasure on that front too. Your clit is harshly being restricted and somehow, that offers relief in its own way. 

For the first time in your life, you feel waves washing through your body that feel so hot that you’re sure you have a fever. He continues to stimulate your nipples, replacing his tongue with his other hand as he pulls back and watches you fall apart beneath him. His cock twitches wildly at the image. Your lips parting, tongue darting out to try and collect the saliva threatening to fall from the corners of your mouth, eyes rolled back before you squeeze them tightly and fucking tremble.

Your lower half is humping up, your chest is chasing the abuse of his fingers, and you feel nothing but heat as you orgasm for an embarrassingly long time. All the way until your ears pick up the sound of him cooing at you. 

“Dirty girl, you made a mess.” He smiles, releasing your tits and sliding down the bed before resting his chin on your knee. 

You’ve barely come back to reality when you feel your shorts unsticking from your pathetic cunt. Panties still tucked uncomfortably against you, he tries to coo again, but instead he groans at the image of both your pussy and your shorts.

“Fuck,” he stares. “So goddamn wet.”

He analyzes your shorts briefly before tossing them to the side and bracing both hands on your knees to spread your legs out. There, he hooks his pointer finger beneath the panties sitting between your pussy lips pulls them out. 

“So messy for me.” he comments, realizing that your entire pussy is glistening with arousal. He pulls your panties off of you easily, eyes focused on the way your hole pulses for something, anything.

You weren’t expecting him to do it, but then again, you weren’t expecting to let him do it when he shoves the panties into your face.

“Say ahhh.” He smiles, pressing the panties into your mouth with two fingers when you instantly obey. “Suck.”

You do, wondering how the fuck you ended up in a situation where this actually turns you on. He’s loving it though, watching your pussy pulse even more as you suck your own mess out of the fabric. You almost forgot his promise of a reward, if you’re being honest. So, yet again, you’re surprised when you feel his tongue, without any warning, lick straight against that pulsing hole and up to your clit. 

Your legs shake around him, instinctively closing around his head before both of his strong arms spread them back out again. He chuckles against your pussy, and when you inhale to try and regain control of the sensitive pleasure taking over your body, you can only taste yourself. Each breath replaced with your past orgasm, each moan coming out as a choked and desperate whine. 

The pleasure is short lived though. Heeseung takes note of your whining, licking and tasting you to the point that he’s the one that’s about to fucking lose it. He’s quick to regain his control, licking a languid stripe up your folds before landing against your clit and grazing his teeth against it. 

He holds you down when you jump at it, groaning at the sensitivity and pain. He grazes his teeth against it again, and again, and then finally nibbles against it. Your whining gets louder and he swears he can hear a whisper of a ‘wait, stop–’ as you spit the panties out of your mouth and your legs still try to squeeze around him, but he holds you down more, chuckling.

“You know that’s not going to stop me.” Heeseung reminds you before nibbling again. 

You could end this torture right now. Your clit has been neglected this whole time until now, and it’s not gentle. He’s biting, he’s grazing, and it fucking hurts. All you have to do is say the color, all you have to do is choke it out between his evil ministrations, but you don’t. 

“That’s what I thought.” He laughs, leaning back and sitting up between your legs. He releases his hold on your hips, now pressing one hand flat on your stomach and holding you down that way instead before slapping your clit. 

“Didn’t expect you to be a pain slut.” 

You groan, unable to answer between his quick slaps to your clit. Swallowing hard, you try to speak. He notices your attempt and holds back his next, harsher slap. 

“Baby wants to speak now?” He asks, rubbing your clit gently and encouraging you to try. 

“Yellow,” you finally whimper, and he raises his brow. 

“Oh?” He confirms, waiting for you to nod before holding back entirely from the slaps and instead, pinching your clit much like he did to your nipples.

For some fucking reason, this hurts more than the slaps but the consistent pain is more tolerable than the sudden, anticipated slaps. This, you like.

“Mhm,” You manage to moan out this time, biting at your bottom lip as your eyes roll back in pleasured pain, hips humping up for more. 

He tilts his head, liking the way you whine for it, happy to have found someone so willing to hurt for him. He pinches harder, watching you react, he dips his head down again and offers a bit more pleasure that way too as a means of secret reward. All the way until your legs are shaking, and he knows now that you’re already about to cum again.

Despite your confirmation and willingness to let him continue the abuse of your pussy, he pulls back entirely, collecting the wet seeping out of you and sliding it down his cock with his fist. 

“Eyes on me.” He demands, staring between your legs. You listen, managing to open your eyes in frustration and watch him. “Were you about to cum again?” 

His eyes dart to you, and your pussy pulses yet again when you nod, releasing a frustrated sigh. He ignores it, looking back down at your hole, his thought process switching to his own pleasure.

“Do you know how much I want it to hurt when you do?” He asks again, fisting his cock faster, using his other hand to grab your face and force you to look into his eyes. “I could be so fucking deep inside of you right now, you know that, right?”

You groan, your body threatening to release something that resembles an orgasm on those words alone. 

“Fuck–” You try to moan for him, you try to beg, but he stops you by squeezing your cheeks tighter. 

“Fuck, what?” He asks, feeling his own orgasm welling up inside of him before he grips the base of his cock, denying him of that pleasure. “You?” 

You nod aggressively, your hand reaching to grip his arms and brace yourself. 

“Say it,” he demands, releasing his cock and using his other hand to run his fingers up your pussy. “Scream it, beg me.”

You choke out the words before releasing a raspy shout, begging a man you barely know to stretch you open, to use you as he sees fit, salivating at the very idea of him doing it more than he already has. 

“Yeah, just like that,” he groans at the sound of your desperate voice, standing to his feet. He quickly removes the rest of his clothes, the musky scent of him blowing past you as he throws his shirt over your face. “You’d let me do anything right now, wouldn’t you? ”

Instantly you do, trying to adjust your head to knock his shirt away and off of you, only half of it slides away, allowing you to peek at him with one eye.

“Come on, take it.” He says, glancing down at his cock as he stands at the foot of the bed in front of you. “You think I’m going to fuck you?”

“Fuck yourself.” He smiles in a cocky, almost evil way. “Get on it babe.”

Honestly, it’s like you’re seeing tunnel vision. Nothing in this room exists but you and his cock. Entirely tuned into your pleasure, your pussy aching from sensitivity and lack of being stretched open, you’re instantly leaning forward to get to him, leaving your tits abandoned almost instantly.

He watches the way you pull yourself from the bed, acting like an animal as you fall to your knees and take him into your mouth much like you did before. His jaw tenses at your hunger, and he holds back a moan at the way you appear to have lost yourself entirely for him. He doesn’t fuck his hips forward, he doesn’t touch you, he just stands there. Watching you unravel on your knees, feeling your eager tongue try to force a reaction from him. 

“I said to fuck yourself,” He warns, stepping back and pulling his cock from your mouth. “Didn’t you just beg?”

He smiles when he says it, and in your head, you don’t care if it’s some sort of trick or play of words. You’d gladly spread out on the bed and absolutely pound your pussy on your fingers alone if he so much as hinted for you to do it, but at this point his cock is out, and it’s heavy. 

Heeseung is a bit shocked when you shove him back, eyes still glazed over in a way that shows him that you’re not in your right mind. He steps back, allowing you to press him all the way until he’s leaned against the hotel vanity. Raising his brow, kind of impressed, he allows you to hook one leg around him and instantly holds your leg in place to balance you there.

He still says nothing, he doesn’t move past holding your leg in place around him, and his eyes remain on yours as you reach between the two of you and position his cock straight to your hungry cunt. There, he chuckles when your face turns from something that seemed determined, into relief at the stretch of his head entering past your lips. 

Still, he stands, chuckling at how desperate you are to fuck him this way, rather than just turning around and bending over. Surely the position would be easier for you, but then it all makes sense when he feels your lips slacked against his, panting against him as you make attempts to find some sort of rhythm.

You did ask if kissing was allowed, and god, you’re like a fucking animal. He breathes into it, pressing his tongue past your slack lips and tasting the remnants of your panties.

“You’re already so gone,” he whispers into your mouth, feeling your shallow humps on his cock. “I’m hardly even inside of you, I said I could go deep.” 

You don’t really hear those words. Honestly, your body is moving on its own and doing what it can do at this moment. The angle isn’t easy, but you wanted to kiss him so fucking badly.

He pulls out of you though, leaving little reaction for you to do anything other than feel embarrassed by your attempt to fuck yourself on him just for a kiss. He doesn’t expect you to keep going though, apparently, because he’s instantly swirling you around and shoving you to the bed. Bending you over and placing a hand at the back of your head before pressing your face into the blankets. His other hand holding both of your hands behind your back with ease. 

“Better?” He asks, easily positioning his cock and shoving into you with one quick thrust, bottoming out entirely. “Hm?” He adds, pulling out and shoving in again. 

Your mouth is open in a silent moan at the intense stretch, tasting nothing but the fabric of the blanket your face is currently shoved into. 

“Can’t hear you,” He grunts, picking up the pace and pistoning his cock in and out of you so fast that you can barely catch your breath regardless of the blankets already making it difficult. “You like it so fucking deep, don’t you?”

You can’t answer. You can only groan at the feeling of his cock stretching you open repeatedly, at his hand shoving your face further against the mattress until all you can do is tense your body. 

He feels it, your pussy clenching around him so tightly that even he gets the breath knocked out of him. Gripping your hair, he pulls your head up and listens to your gasps for air. His hips slam harder, harder, harder, until he feels the pleasure threaten to hit him. That’s when he stops, burying himself into you entirely before releasing your head and falling forward against you. 

“Don’t fucking move.” He warns, twitching inside of you as he feels you heave for air beneath him. 

You try not to move, but your sensitive body reacts to even the sound of his breath behind your ear. Everything is more sensitive than you could ever imagine your body being. Your bruised and swollen tits are throbbing against the mattress, your clit is pulsing at the fullness of his cock inside of you, and your pussy is struggling still to adjust to his size. It feels fucking immaculate. You want him to move, you want to move. You want to be fucked, obliterated, destroyed. 

“Wait–” You manage to muffle out, knowing full well that it’ll get him to do the exact opposite. 

“I’m not even fucking you,” he laughs, pressing his hips forward a bit more, causing you to whimper in response. 

“Stop, just, give me a second.” You cry out.

“Not how this works.” He laughs, pulling his hips back and pointedly thrusting into you again. “So dumb you forgot how to use your words properly?” 

You nod, smirking against the blankets.

“Liar.” He groans, amused by your little attempts to control how hard he goes. “If you want it harder, all you have to do is beg.”

His hips speed up, this time thrusting into you so hard that the bed itself scoots further forward and bangs against the wall. You yelp in pleasure, rolling your eyes back and wanting so badly to see his face as he fucks you.

“Hee– please.” You groan and he pulls back, wondering if you actually are so lost that you’ve forgotten the colors. 

“Colors, sweetheart. Red for stop.” He goes harder, harder, harder, “Or is this exactly what you want?” 

You shake your head almost aggressively at that, bracing your hands on the bed and pushing your ass back against him. 

It floors him, really, that you’ll ask him to stop and then blatantly ignore your own words by fucking yourself back on him. You’re insane, honestly.

“Please what, then?” He asks out of breath, smiling as he watches you fuck back against him. 

“Let me see you do it.” You whine out, desperate to feel intimate, to feel close. 

He obliges, tilting his head at the request but allowing it nonetheless. You can feel him slip out of you before his fingers replace his cock. He doesn’t want to lose the feeling of your clenched pussy even for a moment as he guides you to roll over and shoves you back on the bed, your legs hanging off the end of it. He braces himself at the end of the mattress, resting his cock against your you as he scissors his fingers inside of you with a smile. 

“Wanna see me fucking ruin you?” He smirks at you, pulling at your legs and guiding you to wrap them around him. “Then watch.”

You do, eyes zoned in on him as he grips tightly at your legs and pulls his fingers out of you. You can’t even catch your breath, which is no longer a shock to you, when he slides back into you. Studying his face as he does it, you can’t tell if he feels good or if this is just a service he does on the regular. You wonder what you’d have to do to break that stone-cold look in his eyes, what it takes to get him to moan without restraint, to show you that you’re also making him feel good.

He fucks you so well, so deep, and god, it becomes so difficult to keep your eyes on him with each painful thrust. The bed continues to knock against the wall, your cries become louder and louder, and finally, fucking finally, you hear him release his breath in a low and guttural moan. 

That’s it. That’s what you want to hear from him, time and time again. 

“Harder,” you urge him, feeling his hands tighten around your legs before he’s releasing them and dropping his hand to your throat. “Harder.” You continue now with a strained voice. 

He does, putting all of his strength behind his thrusts, losing himself momentarily in the moment and squeezing your throat tighter as he grunts out at you with a defeated chuckle.

“Of course, you’d be the one to pull this out of me.” He admits, his smile never falling from his lips as he closes his eyes and listens to the wet sound of his cock sliding in and out of you. “Of course, you’d be the one to grip my cock like this.”

You’re gone, not even realizing that you’ve been on the edge for a while now in the way his thick cock continuously massages your g-spot. You tighten your legs around him, forcing him to bury himself deep inside of you as you clench and grip around him in a release. 

He allows it, surprising himself for being so lenient, then slides his hand up your throat before releasing it and using two of his fingers to hook your mouth open. There, he watches you drench him, he feels your arousal gushing out of your stuffed pussy and onto the bed, and now, now it’s his turn. 

“That’s it, all over me, baby–” he coos, pulling his hips back and slamming back into you despite your tightened legs around him. “Feel it.” he adds, accenting his words with another particularly deep thrust. 

You’re entirely silent, and he’s loving it as he slides his fingers deeper into your mouth, holding your tongue down and imagining which way he’d like to fill you up. He could watch his seed run down your thighs, he could pull out and fuck your throat until climax, he could pull out and deny himself a bit more, just to see you fall apart more. 

It hits him a bit too fast though, when he’s looking down your throat and watching your eyes slowly open to look at him. There’s the tears, your sensitive pussy probably begging for him to pull out, to give you some relief, to be gentle. He offers one last thing to you, pulling his fingers from your mouth and dragging them down.

There, he rubs against your swollen clit until you’re writhing under him to get away. Still no safe words have been used, and you’re fully capable of stopping him at this moment. But you don’t. So, he doesn’t stop. The sensation of your body writhing, fighting the pain, chasing the smallest hint of pleasure throws him into his release. He presses into you so hard that the bed remains in a slightly tilted position, fitting snugly against the wall as he paints your inner walls with thick, hot cum. 

You whimper at the feeling, legs falling open from around him as your body tries to wiggle away with your post-orgasm shocks. He moans each time, falling forward half way through his orgasm.. 

“You feel that?” He growls against your ear as he fucks his the entire mess into you. “Is this what you wanted to see?”

You listen to him speak, the words matching the pain in your body to such an extent that you’d probably let him keep going if he wanted to. You’d let him break you of all sanity, you’d let him tie you up, use you, abuse you. 

And when he goes silent, his sweat dampened skin raises and he slips out of you with care and a deep sigh of relief. You simply lay there, staring up at the ceiling and wondering how long you’ve been here, why it took you so long to explore this side of your sexuality, and why you’re not ready for it to be over, despite your aching body. 

You feel his presence leave you for a brief moment and return with a warm and wet towel, and you jolt when it touches between your legs. Your body jolts in aversion at the feeling of the rough material against your clit, but still you try to relax.

“You must be sensitive,” Heeseung says gently with a voice you’ve never heard from him, “They always are after their first time.”

Nodding, you try to pull yourself up and close your legs, but your body feels stiff again. 

“Relax, you’ll probably faint if you try to stand up too fast.” He tries to explain, folding the towel over to clean you with a different side of it. “It’s not like a normal hook up, you know? If you’re gonna let me hurt you, you’ve gotta let me take care of you after.”

Your throat is dry as you lay there, the sensation of even his gentle touches feeling like too much to handle. You feel like you can’t move, so you trust his words and try to relax.

“That’s it, yeah,” He encourages, going to try and help you shuffle your body up to the head of the bead so that you at least have a pillow. “Take your time. You have my number if you ever wanna meet up again.”

With that, Heeseung steps himself into the bathroom and cleans himself up. When he comes back out, he’s already dressed and fixing his hair in the mirror before heading toward the door.

“Wait,” You panic, lifting up quickly and feeling a bit light headed at the sudden movement, “You’re leaving?” 

He smiles at you, nodding. Everything else you do as a newcomer may be fairly expected, but it’s rare when Heeseung ends up with someone who doesn’t want him to leave after. 

“I do have a day job, you know,” He tries to play it off as a joke, but he really didn’t think you expected him to stay after general aftercare. “Stay here and rest up. Check out is tomorrow at eleven so feel free to enjoy the room. Not sure if you noticed, but it’s one of the nicest hotels in the city.”

Oh. Right, you didn’t notice. After all, when you got to the door the room practically didn’t exist to you outside of the floor in front of the bed, the bed, and the ceiling. 

“Red.” You say, unsure if it’ll work.

“You can’t do that.” He finds it sweet, but dangerous nevertheless. He doesn’t sleep over with his  website meetups. He’s here to bring you pleasure and pain sexually, not emotionally. “Like I said, you’ve got my number.”

You’re silent, watching him turn the knob on the door. 

“Oh and,” He pauses, turning to look at you. “Don’t go off with other randoms from the site. Some of them don’t offer the kindness I offered to you today. Ease into it, I’ll be around to help if you need me.”

Wondering if he’s implying that you should only see him when it comes to this sexual dynamic, you nod to him, trying to ignore the fact that he claimed “kindness” was being offered to you. If this was him being kind, you can’t help but wonder what he’s like when he’s…you know, not.

 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ Reminder to pls pls reblog works from writiers you enjoy ; u ; feedback would also be appreciated! You can also tip through my patreon for early access and other fun stuff!

[kelisewrites]

you and katsuki weren’t dating or anything, but it didn’t seem like the two of you were just friends either. maybe a secret third thing?

now that you think about it, you and katsuki were unusually close. but you’ve always just thought it was casual, right? just friendly things that friends do?

like, he’ll always find a way to touch you. if the two of you are walking through a crowded hallway at school, you’ll feel his hand resting on your back, just to keep you close as the crowd pushes through.

or sometimes, when the class goes on a field trip, he makes sure he gets to sit next to you.

you’ll immediately feel the warmth of his thigh pressing against yours as he plops down in the seat next to you, your shoulder brushing against each others.

“here,” katsuki says, shoving a protein bar into your hands. “i know ya’ didn’t eat anything yet, idiot.”

“thanks katsuki, how’d you know?” you ask him, opening it up.

he shrugs. “‘cause i pay attention. no big deal.”

you hummed in response as you gazed at the two of your legs still touching. katsuki didn’t seem to mind it at all. there was just something so domestic about it all. even when sometimes you’d lay your head on his shoulder, on purpose just to mess with him, it wouldn’t work because he always let you.

you and katsuki were laying on the couch in the common area together, and you suddenly decided to lean back on him, your back to his chest.

you expected for him to at least give you some attitude, since he never lets anyone touch him. you know he hates it. weirdly enough, he didn’t say anything. in fact, you felt him shift closer to you, getting comfortable.

“aw, you’re really not gonna push me away? thought you hated people touching you?”

he snaps, “whatever,” before draping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you even closer.

everyone knows bakugou doesn’t have many people he would consider his friend. maybe except one person.

kirishima had been noticing how different his best friend had been acting, and he just had to bring it up.

“leave me alone, shitty hair”

“dude, you spend almost all of your time with her!”

“your point?”

“you like her.”

katsuki scoffs, “shut the hell up.”

“just saying, man.” kirishima nudges him, “its funny”

katsuki glared at him. “what’s fucking funny?”

kirishima gave him a look. “the way you act like it isn’t a thing.”

“you’re fucking annoying.”

“maybe. but im right, huh?” he teases.

he doesn’t answer right away, instead, he hesitates and scoffs.

“that wasnt a no.” kirishima smiles at him.

“i said, leave me alone.” katsuki says before storming off.

the next day, it was rainy after school, and of course katsuki was waiting for you by the doors with an umbrella so the two of you could walk back to the dorms.

his face softens when he sees you, and he grabs your bag, tossing it over his shoulder like he always does, before opening the umbrella waiting for you to step under it.

“took ya’ long enough,” he says as you two begin walking in the rain. “thought i was gonna be here waitin’ all day”

“you waited for me?”

“duh. knew you wouldn’t have an umbrella.” he shifts closer to you naturally, “and i always walk you back to your dorm don’t i?”

“yeah, but, dunno, it’s just kinda sweet.” you say softly.

he scoffs, “like i was gonna leave your dumbass.”

you nod and feel your heart jump at his words. was this casual? the thought of this possibly being something more had been eating at you all week, and you just had to speak up.

“y’know, people think we’re dating.”

he looks down at you, then grumbles, “so what?”

“what, you dont care? you’re not gonna.. i dunno, deny it?” you ask, gazing at him.

he just kind of pauses and shrugs, and you swear you notice a slight blush on his cheeks. “let ‘em think whatever they want.”

you blinked in surprise. really? was that it? no argument? before you could make any sense of it, or say anything back, he just grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, the touch unexpected, but so so familiar.

you didn’t end up saying anything else, and neither did he. the two of you just continued walking, hand in hand.

ᡣ𐭩

- completely inspired by this post!

[dollbrbie]

♡ ⸝⸝ HOW YOU MET CRIMINAL SUKUNA

featuring. criminal!sukuna | smut mdni

criminal!sukuna who’s bad news. the type of guy your parents despise and the type of guy your friends always advise you to stay away from. he also just so happens to also be your on and off ex boyfriend of two years.

criminal!sukuna who you met during your senior year of high school, the typical bad boy and good girl trope. you did pretty well, your grades always decent if not good and you typically stayed out of trouble.

criminal!sukuna who was the complete opposite, having failing grades and was always in some sort of trouble. he was a real nightmare for the teachers who had him in detention every day.

criminal!sukuna who stereotypically, was then paired up with you in one of your classes for a project, the good girl who the teacher counted on to hopefully get his grade in check.

criminal!sukuna who then had his eyes set on you from that day, spending weeks of his time working on this dumb project he had zero care for, but if it meant getting to spend some time with you, then he didn’t mind so much.

criminal!sukuna who you knew had a reputation, making you very weary of giving into his advances. he was always kind to you though, always making an effort. but, you knew a girl like you had no business getting involved with a guy like him.

criminal!sukuna who never stopped trying despite your gentle rejections. he wasn’t common for him to actually catch feelings for girls, let alone even like someone enough to be their friend. so, sukuna wasn’t gonna let this deter him. he knew what he wanted and that was you.

“c’mon, i’m not all bad, i promise. i’ll show you a real good time, and if your not fucking with me after that, i’ll leave you alone.”, he says to you with a tone so unusual for him. and when you finally agree, shutting your locker with a smile on your face despite the eye roll you gave him, he can’t help but feel a genuine smile make way on his face, with a type of feeling he hasn’t felt for years.

criminal!sukuna who was to your surprise, such a gentleman. he showed you the real princess treatment you hadn’t received from standard guys in your year. but, despite this, your friends definitely still didn’t approve of him.

criminal!sukuna who didn’t really care what you friends had to say, continuing you send you a signature bouquet of red roses, always with some cheesy message attached. even if he didn’t have much money, he’d always pay for your food whenever he took you out, frowning if you ever declined.

criminal!sukuna who knew he had to tell you the truth about him before making you his girlfriend. not the half assed answer everyone already knows, but the real truth about his background and his life growing up.

criminal!sukuna who laid everything out to you, the night he could hopefully make you his girlfriend. he explained his childhood growing up, the horrible treatment he had to endure, to then how he got into the lifestyle he’s in. you knew he was doing shady shit on the side, but you never really realised just how deep in it he was.

criminal!sukuna who kinda expected you to tell him that you didn’t want to be involved in that, which he would’ve understood to be honest. but, he was met with your glossy eyes and a reassuring touch on his hand when you told him that you didn’t care, that you cared only about him and how sorry you were he had to go through that.

criminal!sukuna who felt his throat tighten when he heard those words. words he’s never heard before, words he didn’t know how desperately he wanted to hear.

criminal!sukuna who made you his girlfriend that night, kissing you with pure desperation and need. he needed you more than just emotional in that moment, he needed to feel you.

criminal!sukuna who was beyond shocked when you tell him your a virgin, but can’t help but feel his cock harden at the fact that he would be your first. he would be the first guy to show you how sex feels, the guy to take your innocence.

criminal!sukuna who was so gentle, slowly stretching you out with his tip after sliding it through your glossy folds and teasing your clit. he didn’t want to hurt you, making sure you pay attention to every part of you body, rolling your buds between his fingers as he whispered sweet praises and distracting you from the pop! you felt when he finally slid himself in

criminal!sukuna who felt like he could’ve came right then and there, feeling your virgin pussy squeeze him so intensely.

“relax f’me, yeah? you’re squeezing the fuck outta me. i don’t wanna cum yet.”, he says either a breathy laugh, placing gentle kisses down your neck

criminal!sukuna who made sure to watch what touches made your back arch, what pace had you babbling out pretty moans as you claw down his back. he wanted to know exactly what you liked, exactly what got you going. he wanted to make this night the most special for you.

criminal!sukuna who made you cum at least three times, only stopping when he saw your overstimulated figure and your tears of pleasure, kissing them away as he came on your stomach and whispered how good you were for him, he special he felt that he was your first.

criminal!sukuna who was truly yours after that. you had him wrapped around your little finger like a dog with a leash. he was so aware of it, too. but, he didn’t care. he knew he had grown too attached to you by now.

criminal!sukuna who underestimated how much your different lives would clash, finding himself always making you worry when he came to your bedroom window with cuts and bruises, stinking of weed. or when he found himself in a heated argument with your dad after he found out about your relationship.

criminal!sukuna who despite how much you loved him, was causing too many problems in your life, finding yourself questioning if it was a good idea that you had even gotten together in the first place.

criminal!sukuna who knows this, knows how much of a bother he can be to you. and unfortunately, when you came to him with tears in your eyes and a pitiful look on your face, knew exactly the words that were about to come out of your mouth.

“kuna.. i love you- so, so much. but, i just- i don’t think i can do this, anymore. i can’t be with you, anymore.”

© dollbrbie | don’t plagiarise or translate any of my work

[stxrkiss]

𓈒⠀݁⠀﹙ 𝓢﹚𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 ☆ ₊⠀ ៸៸៸

君を愛しすぎて、 恐ろしいくらいだ。

# 𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮 : 𝑌𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝒞𝓁𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝒦ℯ𝓃𝓉 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑥 𝑌𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝐹𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℬ𝓇𝓊𝒸ℯ 𝒲𝒶𝓎𝓃ℯ ☆ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ³

# 𝑺𝒀𝑵𝑶𝑷𝑺𝑰𝑺 : 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘬. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺...

# 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 : 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵, 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘥𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘱, 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳/𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 ��𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘦𝘥⚠

# 𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑬 : 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦. 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺!

She could hear him pacing.

The sound of his shoes slamming against the floor.

She sat on the edge of her bed, trembling, her fingers digging into her arms.

She had been expecting this.

Ever since she threw up that morning and Alfred had seen.

Ever since Bruce’s sharp eyes had noticed the way her body had begun to change.

She should have run.

She should have come up with something, anything, to stop this moment from happening.

But there was nothing.

There was nowhere to go.

And now Bruce was here.

Pacing.

Breathing hard.

Trying to control the rage rolling off of him like a storm.

Then, suddenly—

“Who is he?”

His voice cut through the air like a whip.

She flinched.

Didn’t answer.

Didn’t look at him.

Her heart was hammering so loud, she could barely think.

“Who’s the father?”

He was standing in front of her now, towering over her, fists clenched at his sides.

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

She couldn’t.

Her lips parted.

Nothing came out.

“Who is that man?” Bruce growled. “Tell me.”

She shook her head, tears blurring her vision.

“I—I can’t.”

His breath came out in a sharp, furious exhale.

“You can’t?”

She shook her head again, shoulders shaking.

“I can’t tell you.”

Silence.

A silence so deep, so heavy, it felt like it was crushing her.

And then—

Something shifted.

Something in Bruce’s eyes.

His sharp, analytical mind was spinning.

Working.

Piecing things together.

She could see it.

And then—

His eyes went wide.

His breath hitched.

His fingers tensed.

“Oh my god.” His voice was hoarse, almost pleading. “Tell me it’s not Dick.”

Her eyes snapped to his in pure horror.

“What?! No! Of course not!”

His nostrils flared. His jaw clenched.

He wasn’t done.

“Then Jason.” His voice dropped to something dark, something almost begging. “He's the only one other than Dick that is close to you.”

Her stomach turned.

She felt sick.

“How—how can you even say that?!” her voice cracked. “They’re my brothers!”

Bruce’s hands ran through his hair, his breath ragged.

He turned away for a moment, as if he needed to regain control.

As if he needed to force himself to breathe.

Then, slowly, he turned back to her.

His gaze was burning, piercing, his entire body tense.

“Then who?”

She opened her mouth.

Closed it.

Opened it again.

No words came.

No sound.

Nothing.

Because she couldn’t.

She couldn’t say it.

She couldn’t make the words leave her throat.

Because if she did—

It would make it real.

Bruce stared at her.

His eyes darkened.

His voice dropped to a whisper, barely more than breath.

“It’s someone I know, isn’t it?”

Her body shook.

Her fingers dug into her own arms so hard she could feel her nails breaking skin.

Bruce took a step closer.

“Isn’t it?”

A sob ripped out of her throat.

She couldn’t do this.

She couldn’t—

“I CAN’T TELL YOU!” she screamed.

Tears poured down her face.

Bruce’s expression twisted, something between anger and devastation.

He turned away from her, hands clenched into fists, breathing hard.

His shoulders were shaking.

He knew.

Maybe not the name.

But he knew.

Of course he knew.

The air was crisp, cutting through the night with the kind of sharpness only Gotham could hold. The city stretched before them, endless and dark, its heartbeat pulsing in the distant hum of traffic and the flickering of streetlights below.

Clark stood next to Bruce, arms crossed, staring into the skyline. He didn’t dare look at him.

He couldn’t.

Not after what he had done.

Not after that night.

Bruce was quiet. Too quiet.

They had just finished a League meeting, the usual endless war against an ever-growing darkness. But none of it mattered to Clark. Not now. Not after what he had taken.

And then—

Bruce spoke.

His voice was calm. Too calm.

"I'm going to be a grandfather, you know?"

Clark's breath hitched.

What?

His fingers clenched against his arms as he forced himself to stay still.

Bruce never talked about personal things. Never.

But now—

Clark could hear the weight in his voice.

The way it pressed down like a slow, creeping tide.

He tried to smile, forced out a laugh, something light, something normal.

“That’s great, Bruce.” He swallowed. His throat was dry. “I’m sure Dick will be a great father.”

Silence.

A silence so deep, so suffocating, it froze the city.

Clark finally turned his head—

And saw it.

Bruce was smiling.

Smiling.

But it wasn’t real.

It wasn’t right.

It was wrong. Twisted. Something that should never be on his face.

A chill ran down Clark’s spine.

And then Bruce spoke again, and his words gutted him.

“Dick?”

He shook his head, slowly.

And then, still smiling, still mocking, he said—

“No, Y/N is pregnant.”

His daughter.

Clark stopped breathing.

The world stopped turning.

Everything—everything—crashed.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe.

His heart slammed against his ribs like it was trying to escape.

His face went white.

His mouth opened—

Nothing came out.

His ears were ringing.

This wasn’t real.

This couldn’t be real.

Bruce knew.

He knew.

Oh god. Oh god.

Clark felt his whole body lock up, every muscle going stiff as a corpse.

He tried—he tried so hard to find words.

To say something.

To fix this, to pull back, to undo—

But then—

Bruce’s smile fell.

It was gone.

And what replaced it—

Was worse.

His face darkened, the lines of his expression turning sharp, his eyes sinking into shadows.

He said nothing.

Nothing.

Because he didn’t need to.

Clark knew exactly what was happening.

What this was.

There was no need for screaming, no fists being thrown, no explosion of rage.

That would have been better.

But Bruce didn’t work that way.

Clark could feel it.

Bruce knew what he did.

It was only a matter of time.

Clark barely made it through the door.

His hands were trembling. His legs felt weak. His chest was tight, too tight—like something was crushing him from the inside. His breath came short, quick, shallow gasps that weren’t enough, weren’t nearly enough.

He staggered forward, gripping the nearest wall as he pull at his suit, fingers fumbling, desperate.

He couldn’t breathe.

God—he couldn’t breathe.

His mind was spinning, drowning in a black fog of guilt and disgust, thick and suffocating.

Bruce knew.

Bruce fucking knew.

He ripped his suit off, throwing it to the ground like it burned him. His chest rose and fell in erratic, panicked movements, sweat breaking along his skin as his stomach twisted violently.

He felt sick.

God—he was sick.

His knees buckled, and he collapsed onto the floor, fingers gripping at his scalp as a sharp buzzing filled his ears, loud, deafening—

He deserved this.

He deserved so much worse.

God, how did this happen?

How did he let this happen?

How did he ruin her?

A young girl. An angel. Someone who had looked up to him with wide, trusting eyes, a girl who had spent her childhood watching him, admiring him.

She had been just a child.

And now—now she was ruined.

Because of him.

His stomach lurched. He barely made it to the bathroom before he vomited, heaving up nothing but acid and self-loathing, his body rejecting itself.

A knock at the door.

Soft at first.

Then urgent.

"Clark?" Lois.

God. Lois.

His hands gripped the edges of the sink as he tried to steady himself, his breath still coming in rapid, uneven gulps. His vision blurred. He squeezed his eyes shut.

What would she say if she knew?

What would she do?

The thought alone was unbearable.

He sucked in another broken breath, forcing his shaking hands under the faucet, splashing cold water onto his face. It did nothing.

It wouldn’t wash this away.

Nothing would.

Another knock.

Louder this time.

"Clark, open the door. What's wrong? You're scaring me."

He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his forehead against the mirror.

I love you, Lois.

The words almost slipped out, almost choked him.

She deserved better.

She deserved a husband who wasn’t—who wasn’t—

He sucked in a sharp, shuddering breath, but it wasn’t enough.

It would never be enough.

His chest was too tight. His throat too dry.

He gripped the sink harder.

His reflection stared back at him, empty.

He wanted to smash it.

He wanted to shatter himself into a thousand pieces.

But it wouldn’t change anything.

It wouldn’t erase what he had done.

— MASTERLIST ☆

— NEXT ☆ PART 1. PART 2.

— © stxrkiss ☆ don't copy, translate or use my works here or any other websites.

[theminecraftbee]

If Cleo hadn’t known Joe for longer than either of them have known Hermitcraft, she might be concerned about Joe having an argument with himself about which of his six contingency boltholes to hide the two of them in and discuss plans. She might be even more concerned about how blatantly questionable several of them are—she didn’t even know Etho had an attic, let alone one Joe knew how to break into and had hidden a bed in. However, Cleo’s known Joe since longer than either of them have known Hermitcraft, and frankly this is an impressively minimal amount of bafflingly designed anxiety-induced disaster prep for him, so she just lets him guide him into the room and sits cross-legged on the floor.

“No one ever remembers that the overworld smells different,” she says with a sigh.

“For example, here it smells like Etho’s socks,” Joe responds. “Why does he keep socks in the attic, Cleo? I still haven’t figured it out!”

Cleo snorts. “He’s a very strange little man.”

Joe shakes his head. “No, no, if he were a strange little man, I’d know. That’s what I am!”

“No, you’re a strange little puppet these days. Entirely different.”

“Oh, right.”

The two of them sit in silence for a bit after that. Cleo just breathes. They are supposed to be dead or exiled, and they are not. “Supposed to be dead but they’re not” is like, Cleo’s entire thing as a zombie, and Joe’s entire thing as a person, so that’s not what’s making Cleo’s heart race. Maybe Joe’s right; maybe it is the smell of socks. Maybe, though, it’s that the world is different colors. Everything isn’t the same awful grey and red, stretched out endlessly across the horizon.

A fuzzy puppet hand is placed on her own. Cleo looks down.

“Sorry I couldn’t talk to you the whole time. I was being hunted for sport,” Joe says.

“What? No, don’t answer that. Scar. That was obvious. Don’t know why I bothered asking.”

“Doc also kind of wanted to?” Joe says. “But as we both know, Doc’s really bad at making threats that are actually actionable. It’s sort of embarrassing. Cub, also, although Cub and I were mostly engaged in psychological warfare. It’s kind of a shame he exiled himself; who else has an appropriately complex relationship with fireworks and comic sans?”

Cleo snorts. “Never change, Joe.”

“I can’t promise that. To live is to change,” Joe says solemnly.

“Walked into that one,” Cleo says.

They both fall silent a little longer.

“The fact you called me at all, uh. Texted me. Kept me company. Fought a dragon? The drop shipping? I—”

“If my best friend goes mad from loneliness I’m not a very good friend,” Joe says.

“Still, thanks,” Cleo says. “Thank you. It was—thank you.”

“Anyone would have,” Joe says, and all at once Cleo is laughing and sobbing into their hands. Distantly, they can hear Joe panicking; he’s never been very good at other people’s emotions. It’s just—nothing, for days, and everything now, and the edges of their sleeves are still singed from Grian’s attempt to render it all pointless, and Joe’s right here, and Joe’s right here, saying:

“It’s alright, Cleo. I mean, it’s not, there’s an authoritarian government that isn’t letting me play Permitmaster. But it’s okay, for some definition of that, I think—”

“They really wouldn’t,” Cleo manages between choked breaths.

“What?” Joe says.

“You said it’s what anyone would do and they really wouldn’t,” Cleo says.

“…really?” Joe says, and he sounds so idiotically baffled and so exactly like Joe Hills, constant in Cleo’s life since before either of them knew what a Hermitcraft was, that she breaks down into sobs again. Distantly, she recognizes that this is a symptom of having ridden a horse across the nether roof for enough days in a row that her ability to emotionally regulate snapped a little. Immediately, though, she can’t stop thinking about how lucky she is.

Joe smiles, strangely kind for a puppet, and leans his entire felt body against her. He stops talking for the moment. Cleo knows it’s more that he’s probably panicking internally than out of any desire for silence, but…

She’s really, really lucky.

By some miracle stroke, they’re both left alone long enough for Cleo to pull herself together, and then, to the sound of distant fireworks and sirens, they escape Etho’s attic, laughing.

Together they really are going to be so annoyingly unstoppable.

[bumfucknowhere]

@every-name-is-already-taken

Could you please explain one thing I was always confused about in the Odysey ? I couldn't find any explanation online for this fragment, so I'm hoping you know something - after Ody sleeps with Circe, the book says his men had to beg him to leave the palace after months/years of staying there. Why wasn't Ody the first to want to leave if his relationship with Circe wasn't consensual?

i'm so so sorry it took me so long to reply! your message got buried and this rotted in my drafts for far to long. I hope you enjoy this belated answer nonetheless! all quotes are from the E.V. Rieu translation.

you're referring to "We stayed on day after day for a whole year [...] But as the months went by and the seasons passed and the long days returned, my loyal companions called me aside one day and said: "What possesses you to stay here?""  i assume? this is a very interesting bit to dive into, especially in regards to Circe and Odysseus's dynamic! I think that it’s a two sided, with the reasons they stayed so long, and the reason they stayed at all. However, the most important part of this whole situation is not when he leaves, but how he asks, in my opinion.

"[Odysseus] went to Circe's beautiful bed and there clasped the goddesses knees in supplication, and she listened to my winged words: "Circe," [Odysseus] said "keep that promise which you once made me, to send me home." to clasp someones legs is a rather extreme way to ask someone for something- and not something you'd do to someone you trust/ are on good terms with, especially if all you're doing is asking to leave. We see this a little earlier in the odyssey, when Telemachus leaves Sparta. Instead of kneeling before Menelaus and asking to leave, he simply says "Do not keep me here on a lengthy visit. It is true that your tales and talk so delight me that I could easily stop with you for a year and never feel homesick for Ithaca or my parents. But my friends must already be tired of waiting for me in sacred Pylos; and now you prolong my stay" and leaves. Obviously, he;s still being very polite and the power dynamic between a king and a prince, and a god and a mortal are different, but I think this shines light on how Odysseus felt while staying at Aeaea, if he felt that he needed to beg to leave. My interpretation was that he put off asking to leave in fear of what Circe might do. She was very helpful in the end, but Odysseus had no way of knowing she would be.

Additionally, it wouldn't make sense for them to leave immediately after de-pigging the men anyways. the ship  that they would have been using (It's highly contested as to what was actually used, and I'm NO expert, but you can look into Penteconters, as they are a strong candidate) were not designed for the extended traveling of the odyssey, and the sailors themselves would be rather shaken as they had only just lost most of their fleet to the Laestrygonians- as seen after they arrived on Aeaea, where they are described as "[laying] on the beach for two days and nights, utterly exhausted and eating [their] hearts out with grief" While Circe is certainly a threat, and someone I doubt any of them felt comfortable or safe around, she's still better than having to face the open sea until they recover.

Overall, I got the impression that it was Odysseus fear of Circe that prevented him from leaving, as opposed to affection towards Circe herself. I'd really advise reading @dootznbootz's essay, Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea as it is really well written and goes much, much deeper into the situation than I could. She's read like, a million translations and knows the Odyssey like the back of her hand.

Men use “I’m just a man” to cheat on their wives. Odysseus uses “I’m just a man” to kill, slay and torture people to get back to HIS wife. They are not the same.

[hees-mine]

Daddy's girl - L. Hs

Pairing: stepdad heeseung X fem reader

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, cursing, stepcest, daddy kink, breeding kink-ish, dirty talk, ear licking, cheating, dubcon. If any of these warnings make you uncomfortable pls kindly click off.

WC: 3k

💓

“Come here,” you hear your stepdads voice coming from the living room while you were in the kitchen preparing a snack for yourself.

You sat down the butter knife you were using to cut fruit and wander from the kitchen to the living room, seeing him sitting on the couch infront of the tv.

“Yes?” You answered, peeking your head around the wall.

He nods his head silently, asking for you to come further into the living room, which you do, curious as to why he’s calling you.

You didn’t have much time to get to know him since he had work and you had school. You had dinner with him and your mom every now and then, but you didn’t really get a chance to connect with him.

Which is fine. You weren’t necessarily ecstatic about having a stepdad. You felt as though you were far too old for one at this point.

Because of that, you didn’t mind not being close to him. You shared your greetings to one another here and there, but that was it.

“Sit down and watch some TV with me,” he offers, patting his lap, which makes you furrow your brows.

“Oh, it’s alright. I was just going back to my room,” you inform him.

“Just for a few minutes, I want to talk a little bit to get to know you better,” he says shamelessly, biting on his lower lip and eyeing you from head to toe. Who knew someone could look so good in sleep clothes? He thought to himself.

You timidly stepped into the living room, feeling a bit awkward being alone with him as you took a seat on the couch.

“You look beautiful today,” he doesn’t hesitate to say while placing his hand over his bulge.

“T-thanks,” you mutter bashfully, pretending you weren’t uncomfortable with his actions or the way he was eyeing you.

“Your sleep shorts are cute, too,” he says, placing his palm on your legs way higher than it should be and giving it a small squeeze.

“Heeseung, what are you doing?” You immediately swat his hand away, startled by his hand placement, and watch as an expression of displeasure formed on his face.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” he replies, putting his hand back on your thigh, this time firmer.

“S-stop,” you stutter, whimpering softly and pushing his hand away from your thigh yet again. “I don’t like it when you touch me like that. It’s uncomfortable. Now, leave me alone.” You tried to sit up, but he forcefully pulled you down on his lap.

Your butt comes in direct contact with what you know is his semi-hard cock. Your eyes widen, feeling the firmness nestled against your ass. He pulls you into him, your back flush against his firm chest. “You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear, licking the shell of it afterward, and you shudder, squirming in his hold, your ass grinding on his cock in the process.

“W-why are you doing this?” You whine helplessly, trying to free yourself, but it’s futile. He’s so much bigger and stronger than you.

You trying to escape only seemed to turn him on more, your ass continuously brushing over his cock, and now you could feel that it was fully hard under your ass. You could feel him on your most intimate parts, and you felt disgusted.

“No, no, I think I should be asking you that, don’t you think, princess?” He questioned, cupping your cunt through your thin, skimpy sleep shorts.

You’re confused by what he says, your mind racing with thoughts of why he was doing this to you and how you could break free. You’ve done nothing to deserve this.

Your body recoils against him, desperately trying to escape his touch, but there’s nowhere to go, and he’s far too strong for you to break free. His arm wraps tightly around your torso, holding you tighter to his chest. “You got some nerve walking around like a little whore teasing me all the time, knowing I can’t have you, but guess what, my sweet little stepdaughter daddy’s gonna take you on his own rather you like it or not but I bet you will love it since you like parading around here half naked with your ass and tits out working me up getting me hard and walking back to your room like you didn’t just leave me high and dry you say you’re uncomfortable but what about all the times you made me uncomfortable hmm?” He drags the tip of his nose across the skin of your neck, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

Tears gather in your eyes. You have no idea what he’s even talking about, but you have no time to register anything but the inevitable fate of what’s to come. You were stuck, and your mom was at work, leaving you alone with him.

You had no idea why he’d do this to you or what he was even talking about.

“Now let daddy have a feel of that sweet pussy, yeah?” He chuckled, and it sounded so vile on your ears, making the hairs on your arms stick up.

“Hmm, see? She’s all wet,” he hums after moving your shorts to the side so he can feel your little cunt skin on skin. “No panties either. You’re just begging to be bent over and used like a good little whore, hmm?”

💓

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[haikyu-mp4]

Irrestistible – Suna x reader wc 1143 – gn!reader hockey player x figure skater au

“You figure skate, right?” Suna said, a bare-minimum attempt at whispering. The two of you sat in the middle of the library, squeezed between someone who seemed to be on their last straw and someone who did not like history.

His random question brought you out of your self-deprecating thoughts and back into the room, where you had to tutor one of your class’ most obnoxious, lazy, careless, idiotic-

“Yes,” you answered kindly, despite your thoughts. “I do.”

“I know,” he whispered, lips pursed together as if sheepish, but the glint in his eyes told you he wasn’t the least bit ashamed. “You’re real pretty.”

Clearing your throat, you strictly kept your eyes on his book on the desk after realising you had stared at his eyes for a little too long. “Let’s stay focused on this, I don’t have all day.”

“Sure, take the lead.”

The next time you met in the library, it seemed that the two of you finally loosened the knot in Suna’s head that insisted he couldn’t do maths. You grinned when he solved one of the more difficult issues on his own, holding up a hand for a high-five and not even caring that much when the sound of it might have disturbed some of the others who sat close by.

“You did so well!”

But the happiness you felt at him accomplishing this wasn’t the only thing that occupied your mind. At your praise, Suna couldn’t help but smile widely, showing much more of his teeth than you could usually see. Your eyes zeroed in, and Suna’s smile fell, lips pursing together to hide his two missing teeth on the one side. “Thank you. What’s next?”

You nodded subtly, registering his avoidance of the subject. “Integrals.”

He groaned, leaning back in his chair and throwing an arm dramatically over his face. “The misery never ends!”

You didn’t stop thinking about it, though. A lot of the more reckless hockey players chipped or lost their teeth now and then, but it was usually fixed within the week. What could have happened for him to be missing them still?

Suna suddenly turned to you, putting a finger under your chin so you would face him. “You might as well just ask.”

“What happened to your teeth?” you whispered.

Suna huffed through his nose, and the signature smirk stretched across his lips. “I annoy people, frequently.”

The answer made you chuckle under your breath, gaze falling on his notebook, which proved he hadn’t focused much on the last few problems either. Gulping at his intense stare, you hesitated but asked anyway. “Why haven’t you had them fixed?”

“It’s expensive. My parents already paid for me to transfer here; the scholarship doesn’t cover my own wrongdoings.”

Looking back up, you had sympathy painted all over your face. You weren’t sure how to answer but didn’t have to figure it out as Suna perked up and turned back to his task.

“But one day I’ll be in the big leagues and my smile will be back to irresistible.”

Even though you and Suna were both at the rink many days of the week, you hadn’t run into each other much before. At least, you hadn’t noticed him.

Now, you could swear he was always there. Whether he gave you a short wave when you passed by while he played or winked at you when he saw you skating, you found yourself growing fond of his presence.

This time, he walked up to you after you finished training, slumping down beside where you were switching from skates to normal shoes. “Hey,” he said.

You looked around and noticed there were no other hockey players left, then glanced at the clock to confirm that his training had ended two hours ago. “Suna, did you wait here for two hours?”

He shrugged, but the smile on his face gave away something less careless. “I’m glad you noticed.”

“Why?”

“The other day, you said you weren’t happy they switched our training because you had to walk home late. Thought I might walk you home.”

It sounded like your heartbeat wanted to talk to him, ringing in your ears and pinching its colour into your cheeks. You looked down at your shoe and tied the last lace. “Thank you, that’s very kind of you.”

Suna made it a regular thing, staying around until you finished training to walk you home, chatting about your days and lives, interests and dislikes. It became your favourite part of the day, and your friends commented regularly on how you and Suna sat closer and closer to each other each time you tutored him.

This time, you didn’t get off the ice after training. You skated a couple more laps while the others filed out of the room one by one, wishing your pulse would slow down before you spoke to Suna.

“Put your skates back on.”

Suna blinked, taken off guard by the change in routine. “My skates?”

You confirmed and giggled as he got to it, glancing at you with suspicion. When he got back up, skates safely secured, you ushered him to meet you in the middle of the ice. “Have you ever danced on ice before?”

Pride filled you at seeing the cool-headed Suna Rintaro out of his element. He raised his arms carefully, allowing you to direct his hands to your waist. “Not like you do.”

With careful movements, you moved to the side, and he followed clumsily. His eyes darted straight down to your feet. While he was good at skating, he wasn’t used to avoiding someone else’s skates while moving. “Just follow my lead,” you encouraged.

Your eyes were locked onto where a blush spread quickly from his neck to his ears. He finally looked up as he got into the pattern of your movements. “Am I in trouble?” he chuckled.

You hummed and smiled, leaning closer to twirl the two of you in a circle. When you slowed to a stop, you slid your arms around his neck, and a chill ran through you as he naturally followed and moved his arms around you. “I think I have a crush on you.”

Suna groaned, which disturbed the palpable tension between you and made you question yourself entirely. Oh no, maybe you had misunderstood. Had he not returned your affections? Did you just make a complete fool out of yourself-

“Sublime!” he yelled, tilting his head back so it wouldn’t ring in your ears. You drew a breath and held it, shocked at the outburst yet consumed with happiness at what it might mean.

His head came back down so he could look at you, grin wider than you had ever seen it, with his missing teeth on full display.

You couldn’t help but think that his smile was already irresistible.

masterlist

[supernovafics]

𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐀

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x actress!reader

word count: 5.9k words

summary: in which, after knowing of him for a while, you finally meet eddie munson at a movie premiere

warnings: explicit language, some fluff, smut (18+), fingering (f!receiving)

author’s note: yes this is very much inspired by the harry styles song. i had this idea like a year ago and then i left it unfinished for months upon months but it’s finally finally done now so enjoy<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Aside from Steve, is there anyone else I’m going to know at this premiere?”  

Maybe you should’ve asked Melissa that question before you were on your way to the theater in West Hollywood where the movie premiere was taking place. That would’ve given you more time to mentally prepare if your publicist’s answer was no; which would mean that you’d have to have a fake smile plastered on your face during most of the night. 

You slightly shifted in the backseat of the car you sat in with Melissa on your left. You were trying not to move too much or even get comfortable in your seat during the drive for fear of somehow messing up the simple black dress you were wearing. Tonight didn’t even really matter for you, you knew that. You were only going to this premiere to support a friend, and the red carpet walk you’d have to do would be a quick and very unimportant one, but you still felt the need to make sure that you were perfect.

Melissa started listing names you quickly recognized, people you’d worked with before or had a handful of passing conversations with. “Oh, and Eddie Munson is gonna be there as well.” 

“Oh,” You said, looking down at your dress and smoothing out a non-existent wrinkle. You cleared your throat and attempted to act as nonchalant about it as possible. “Oh, cool. Why is he going to a movie premiere?” 

“His band worked on the soundtrack for the movie.”

You nodded at that. “Oh, okay.” 

“You two should try to get a picture together. That would be really great,” She said, taking a quick glance at you before going back to look at her phone. “After the interview thing, people would love seeing this.” 

You more so saw that whole situation as “the interview incident” instead of simply “the interview thing.” It was only a few months ago when you had to do some promotional interviews for a movie you filmed earlier in the year, and you had been randomly asked about your favorite music. You talked about Corroded Coffin’s latest album and you specifically mentioned Eddie’s great songwriting and voice. You went on something close to a ramble about him and his band and then regretted it immediately when you were done because you knew that you probably sounded something equivalent to an obsessed fangirl. And, of course, none of it got cut out of the video. 

And then, about a month later, Melissa sent you an article about an interview Eddie did where he mentioned one of your movies and also said that you were one of his favorite actresses. You felt entirely indifferent about the article because it just seemed way too coincidental to you. You knew that his publicist and Melissa were a part of the same firm, so it made sense that they would wanna do something to potentially “stir” something up. 

You let out a sigh. “I know that you told his publicist to have him mention me in his next interview.” 

Melissa only shrugged in response. “He and his band have gotten so big in the last year, and you’re getting really big right now too. This could be a great moment.” She took another look at you and smiled. “Just saying.”

You knew that in the grand scheme of things, she only wanted what was best for you, and you appreciated that; it was why she’d been your publicist since you had started your career in your teens. But, that didn’t mean that you liked these kinds of curated moments, pretending and staging friendships or even relationships— it all just felt so dumb to you, and it was your least favorite part of your job. But, you still always found yourself listening. 

“I’ll try,” You ultimately told her. “No promises, though.”

When you made it to the theater, it was a sea of people and cameras, loud voices and bright flashes; none of which necessarily fazed you anymore. In the beginning, you had loved this kind of thing because it all just felt so magical and surreal. You’d get excited and nervous jitters at the “glamour” of it all. Now going to any event only felt like putting on a show; it somehow felt like more of a performance than actually doing a scene in front of a whole production crew of people. 

You followed Melissa and listened to her tell you what the plan of action would be for the next half an hour until the actual premiere started— you’d take some quick pictures, and then she’d introduce you to “a few very important people that you should build some sort of a rapport with;” the director of the movie and a few of the executive producers. You nodded along to her words, understanding that you’d need to turn on your charm during those brief introductions, while your eyes were focused on the red carpet just like almost everyone else’s was— looking at Steve and the female lead of the movie, walking the carpet separately and then also taking a few pictures together.  

You smiled a bit at seeing Steve because, more often than not, it was nice to see him. The first big movie you did was with him; a romantic comedy that you now saw as way too cheesy, but you still had the fondest memories of it. The two of you didn’t talk or see each other as often as you did back then during filming and during all of the press that was done for the movie, but you’d still always consider him a good friend. One of your first real friends in the industry, even though everyone had always tried to say that it was more.  

You then noticed Eddie and his bandmates. He looked nice— a simple black suit with a white button-up underneath, a bowtie that you couldn’t help but think was insanely cute, and his long curly hair mildly tamed in a way that looked effortless. 

Almost too abruptly his eyes met yours. Instead of immediately looking away and avoiding his gaze, you gave him a small smile and nod, and he did the same; that was the extent of the nonverbal interaction. Seconds later, you were being ushered along by Melissa and you pulled your eyes away from Eddie and focused on what she was telling you. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

In your mind, an entire hour was more than enough time spent at the after-party. 

You’d been in enough conversations with unfamiliar faces, introducing yourself and attempting to make new “connections” with people, as per Melissa’s request. And you also talked to a few old friends, accepting invitations to get lunch sometime soon and “catch up about life.”

You were ready to finally head home for the night, and you tried to spot Melissa among the small crowd of people to tell her just that. Maybe you’d even say a quick goodbye to Steve and congratulate him one more time on the movie; which you had actually really enjoyed. 

A tap on your shoulder grabbed your attention and you turned your head. You weren’t entirely sure who you were expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t Eddie Munson. 

“Hey, I’m Eddie,” He said and extended his hand toward you, which you took after only a millisecond of awkward hesitation. 

“Hi,” You responded softly, suddenly feeling so nervous for some reason, and then said your name as well. 

You had come to the conclusion early on in your career that you shouldn’t meet people that you admired or were fond of because nine times out of ten they actually turned out to be assholes. You only knew about Eddie from afar and you honestly wouldn’t have minded keeping it that way. But, that wasn’t the current set of circumstances you were in, so you had to completely throw that mindset away.  

“I didn’t know your band worked on the soundtrack until tonight. The songs you guys had in the movie were great,” You told him, voice coming back to life. “I really love all of your music, honestly.”

“Thanks,” He smiled at you. “I love your stuff too.”

You gave him a small shy smile as you shook your head. “It’s okay, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, I’m serious,” He told you, and he actually sounded like he was being honest. “That Indie film you did last year was really great.”

It was hard to hide the immediate shock you felt at his words. “Oh, okay, wow, thank you…” You shook your head again. “Sorry, I was just so sure that your publicist told you to say that in your next interview or something after the interview I did came out.”  

“Oh, yeah, she did, but it didn’t feel right saying that without seeing anything of yours, so I watched a bunch of your stuff.”

Hearing him say that warmed your heart a bit and you had to pull your eyes away from his in response at first— he saw your movies and actually liked them. And then you thought about something. 

“Oh god, I hope you didn’t go too far back in my filmography.”

He smirked at your sudden shyness. “Don’t worry, I didn’t watch that Disney Channel Halloween movie you did when you were, like, seventeen.”

“Good,” You told him, laughing a bit. 

Before either of you could say anything else, a photographer was walking up and grabbing your attention. 

“Hi, can I get a quick picture of you two?”

You both nodded and stepped closer to one another; Eddie placed an arm around your waist and you did the same to him. You told yourself that everything about this moment was completely and utterly innocent and friendly, even though having him this close to you felt too nice. 

When the photographer walked away after saying a quick “Thanks,” you pulled away from each other and you pretended that you didn’t immediately miss his warmth. 

“Can’t wait to see that circulating everywhere tomorrow,” You said. 

Eddie laughed a bit. “Our publicists would be very proud.” 

“This just might be able to get me out of going to this annoying event tomorrow,” You responded and then noticed his eyes becoming fixated on something behind you. You tilted your head at him. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze met yours again. “Do you wanna meet the other guys? They keep gesturing to me.”

You glanced behind you and noticed his two bandmates standing maybe fifteen feet away from you both. They were waving wildly at Eddie and then immediately stopped and attempted to look as normal as possible when you looked at them. You laughed as you turned back to Eddie. “Yeah, sure, I’d love to meet them.”

He waved them over and then looked at you. “I should probably warn you that they still get starstruck over almost any celebrity they see, so yeah… They might be a little intense, at first.”

“That’s how I was in the beginning too. Until I realized that most people you meet suck anyway,” You said with a shrug, and then realized your words and immediately felt like an idiot. “Oh, um, not you, though, you’re cool.”

He let out a quiet laugh at how flustered you became. “You’re cool too.”  

Instead of responding with an awkward “Thank you,” you turned your attention to the pair now walking over to you both. 

“This is Gareth and Jeff,” Eddie said, pointing out each of them, but you already knew who was who. That was probably the funniest part about meeting other “celebrities;” introductions felt unnecessary but they still always just seemed like the normal thing to do. 

You smiled. “Hi, I’m–”

“Oh, we definitely know who you are,” Jeff interrupted, which made you laugh a little. “That movie you did last year was so good. We watched it a bunch of times when we were on tour a couple of months ago. It’s awesome to meet you.”

“Thanks so much,” You said. “It’s great to meet you guys too. I love your guys’ band.” 

“My personal favorite of yours is that romcom you did with Steve Harrington. I forced them to watch it at least three times,” Gareth jumped in. “Oh, we also just met him too. He invited us to his house for the after-party he’s having. You’re coming, right, Eds?”

He nodded at the question. “Yeah, sure.” You then felt his eyes land on you. “Are you going?”  

If it had been anyone else asking you that, it would’ve probably felt easier to say your initially honest answer of “No.” 

Steve found any and every reason to have a party, but you had to admit, at least tonight’s made sense. When you talked to him earlier in the night, he mentioned it to you, like he always did— invitations were always extended to you when he saw you or knew you were in town— but you hadn’t actually been to one of his parties in what felt like forever. It just had never truly been your thing. 

Now that you knew Eddie was going, though, you actually wanted to say yes to the invitation for the first time in a long time. And right then you decided not to think about what exactly that meant. 

Ultimately, you nodded. “Yeah, I was planning on going to it. At least, for a little bit.” 

It almost felt funny how much things had shifted in the past ten minutes. You had been so ready to leave and head home for the night, and in a way you still were, but now you also wanted to do something different— something you hadn’t done in a while.  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“You actually came for once,” Steve said in your ear when he pulled you in for a hug; it was the only way to be heard over the loud music. He squeezed you tight and you could practically hear the smile in his voice. “See, and this is why I always invite you to everything, because I knew you’d eventually say yes again.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s how probability works,” You told him with a laugh before pulling away and moving to the side a bit so that he could greet Gareth, Jeff, and Eddie. 

Everything moved quickly after it was decided that you’d be going to the party too. You finally found Melissa because she had your phone and small purse that couldn’t hold anything more than just your wallet. She didn’t question you on the fact that you were going with Eddie and his band, but you could tell that she knew that you were going because of him; she had known you long enough to read you pretty well. You had a feeling that you’d get a phone call from her in the morning, asking all of the questions that she couldn’t right then. 

The four of you left the party together and made the near-hour-long Uber ride to Steve’s huge home in Malibu. In your eyes, it was a classic celebrity house party— loud music, varying degrees of famous people, and the faint smell of weed. You were almost too easily reminded of the last time you’d gone to one of his parties; the abrupt offer of something much stronger than weed from a random guy and your immediate no, and you left after saying quick “Hi’s” and having brief conversations with a few people you knew. 

This was not at all your scene and it never entirely had been; not even when you had been a teenager that was abruptly thrust into this world. You were scared of doing something to ruin everything that you’d worked so hard to have. Everything you did was judged, no matter what, so you always felt that there was no room for you to not be perfect.

This moment was different, though. You were pushing yourself out of your typical comfort zone, and right then you didn’t want to even inwardly admit why you were doing it.

“So, what are you like at this kind of thing?” You asked Eddie as you both watched Gareth and Jeff immediately join the hordes of people in the living room. 

“Depends on the party,” He answered. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to ‘Hollywood parties,’ but the guys love dragging me to them.”

“All of these parties are basically the same; equal parts mundane and very ridiculous,” You shrugged, and then realizing he was like you when it came to parties made you think of something. “Is it okay if I show you something that’s away from all of this?”

Eddie nodded. “I’d love that, actually.”

Without thinking too much, you grabbed one of his hands and led him away from the living room. 

You knew Steve’s house pretty much like the back of your hand; it was too nice not to. One of the first few times you’d been there— at a different party of his that you had forced yourself to go to before you realized that he wouldn’t feel offended if you said no— you walked around for an hour simply exploring all of the spots you hadn’t been to before. 

There were a few guest rooms that had balconies with such nice views of the ocean in the distance and a game room that had a pool table in the center and some vintage arcade-type games tucked into the corner. 

And then there was your favorite spot in the house; the theater room, where a few sets of couches faced a huge projector screen that at most times was playing random cartoons instead of movies. 

When you found the remote hidden within a heap of blankets, you turned on the projector, which brought some light to the room. A random episode of Tom & Jerry started playing, and you decided to leave it going, but just turned down the volume a bit. You offered one of the blankets to Eddie, which he accepted, and then you grabbed another and wrapped it around your shoulders. You two made the silent decision to sit on the couch all the way in the back. 

It was quiet for a moment and then Eddie was saying, “So, you and Steve dated, right?”

That question didn’t necessarily surprise you, but it still made you a little annoyed; more so at yourself than at Eddie. 

This wouldn’t even be a question on anyone’s mind if you had done things a little differently five years ago when you and Steve did that infamous romcom. Pretty much everyone thought that you and him were dating during that time and rumors circulated because of that. And since they were never outwardly denied— a decision that Melissa and Steve’s publicist thought was the best— they continued to circulate until a year later when Steve actually did get a girlfriend. 

You shook your head at his question. “No, we’ve always just been good friends.”

Eddie nodded understandingly and a silence lingered between you two for a moment, and then you felt the need to explain further. 

“He was kinda my first friend in this ‘world,’ actually,” You continued. “Before the movie I did with him, I had just been in a bunch of small things that didn’t really matter. But, after that romcom came out, that was what kinda really pushed me into all of this. There were so many more eyes on me so suddenly, and it was really fucking weird at first. He grew up in all of this, so he knows ‘how it works,’ I guess, and aside from Melissa, he was the only person that checked in about how all of this fame shit was treating me.”

“That’s really nice,” Eddie said softly. “I couldn’t imagine going into all of this alone. I don’t think I’d be able to do any of this shit without Gareth and Jeff. Don’t tell them I said that, though.”

You laughed a little. “Your secret’s safe with me. You guys grew up together, right?”

“Yeah, this small town in Indiana,” He answered. “We met in middle school.”

“That’s really nice too. I wish I still had friends from that long ago,” You told him. At this point, it was even hard to remember the friends you had in middle school and high school before you moved to California in the middle of your Sophomore year with your parents. It honestly felt like an entirely different life you had lived. 

“When did you move here?”

“When I was sixteen. It was kinda my birthday present actually. I had been begging and pleading to do this since I was thirteen, but my parents weren’t fully on board until I got a little older,” You answered, shifting slightly and adjusting your blanket. “It was kinda like how a kid begs for a puppy for Christmas.”

“Your puppy was Hollywood,” Eddie concluded, giving you a small smile. 

“Exactly,” You nodded and then stopped abruptly. “That probably sounds stupid.”

He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t. You knew what you wanted. I think that’s pretty fucking cool.”

“A lot of people thought it was the opposite of cool,” You said, thinking about the things that the kids in your grade and old friends had said to you. “I was always so quiet and kinda shy, still am sometimes, so nobody understood why I wanted to get into acting.”

“Why did you?”

There was a long-winded explanation you could’ve given him, but it felt like too much for this moment. 

“I could just see it,” You ultimately answered with a brief upturn of your shoulders. “Weirdly enough, the thought of acting never once scared me. It always just made sense.”

You wondered if you were being too vague, if you should’ve just told him about those times in the mirror where you would recite monologues from your favorite movies and then eventually ventured out to random ones that you found online. 

You didn’t need to explain further, though, because Eddie nodded. “I get that. There was this moment when me and the guys performed at our eighth-grade talent show. It was terrible, I’m honestly glad there’s no video proof of it circling the internet right now. But still, after that night, I just knew that that was where I always wanted to be. Onstage. Performing. I felt it.” 

“Exactly,” You said as you nodded at his words. “It’s a feeling. And I have no idea how to fully explain it because it feels so hard to put it all into actual words, but yeah, it’s a feeling.” 

It felt so refreshing having this conversation with him. You couldn’t remember the last time you had talked so easily with someone you just met— you’d had conversations like this with Steve before, even though he couldn’t fully get it because he was quite literally born into this industry, and you’d even had this kind of conversation with Melissa, but she could never fully understand what you meant either. 

Eddie was different, though, obviously so, and it didn’t even matter that you two were in different parts of this fast-paced industry— music on one side and acting on the other. It felt like two sides of the same coin; different, but somehow you two could so easily relate to one another. Any and all initial awkwardness you had felt when you first talked to him back at the after-party had so effortlessly faded away as you learned just how similar you two were. 

“Okay, I have a stupid question,” Eddie said after a moment. 

You had no idea what he was about to ask, but you couldn’t help but smile anyway. “I love those.”

“Feel free not to answer and tell me how much of an idiot I am for asking this,” He started and even in the semi-darkness you could see the redness starting to tint his cheeks, which only further intrigued you about what he was going to say. “Are, um, doing sex scenes weird?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at first; a soft one that surprised you as much as it made Eddie’s cheek turn an even deeper shade of red. 

“Nevermind, nevermind.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Honestly, that’s not a stupid question,” You told him and then thought about how to answer it. “They definitely intimidated me at first. The first time I had to just kiss someone I thought I would immediately fall in love with them on the spot.” You remembered the first on-camera kiss you ever had to do. It was for a stupidly bad teen movie and kissing the guy felt awkward until it didn’t, and then it simply felt like what it was— acting. “But, it’s really not like that at all. Everything just feels so fake and staged and you do so many takes of that one thing from a bunch of different angles, usually, that it all really seems like nothing after a while. And it’s pretty much the same way with sex scenes.”

Eddie nodded. “Okay. That makes sense.”

“Sorry, am I ruining movies for you?” You asked, mainly joking with your words. Once you had learned the logistics behind everything, it did slightly make things feel less “magical” to you. It was hard to watch movies now and not think about how certain shots were set up and what specific angles meant.  

“No, I’m loving this peek behind the curtain,” Eddie said, playfully smiling at you, and that made you want to tell him more. 

“Okay, so it’s all just so mechanical. Like, choreography pretty much.” You shifted so that you were a lot closer to him. You let your blanket fall off your shoulders as you reached out to grab Eddie’s hand and place it on your waist. “So, they’d tell you to put your hand there and I’d put my hand on your cheek.” You moved to do exactly that. “But not too high because then the camera wouldn’t be able to catch your expression. And then I’d lean in, tilting my head in a slightly awkward position, and we’d kiss.” You didn’t move to do that, even though you were surprised by how much you found yourself suddenly wanting to. “It, um, feels so unnatural, but it looks great on camera. And then with a sex scene, it’s kind of the same thing, except more… movement, obviously. And more directions to make sure everything looks okay on camera too.” 

Eddie nodded understandingly again as his hand on your waist mindlessly moved down and settled in a much more comfortable position on your hip. In turn, your hand dropped from his cheek to the curve where his neck met his shoulder, pressing softly into the collar of his white shirt. You didn’t realize it at first, but you were practically in his lap now, and surprisingly enough, it didn’t feel weird or awkward; it felt okay, comfortable even. 

With your explanation over, it would’ve made sense for you and Eddie to pull away from each other, but something had silently shifted in the past minute. For some reason, it didn’t feel right to go back to sitting on your different parts of the couch, wrapped up in separate blankets, after being this close to one another. 

The warmth radiating from the hand on your hip and the rest of his body felt a thousand times more comforting than the blanket had. You pushed yourself closer to Eddie, settling in his lap completely, straddling his waist, and smiling at the soft sound he let out as you did so. Both of his hands took hold of your hips and gave a light squeeze that made a warm feeling settle in the pit of your stomach. 

A part of you could recognize that this entire moment, this entire night, didn’t make sense. But then, at the same time, it definitely did— all of this simply felt inevitable. Something equivalent to this moment had been building from the moment you mentioned him and his band in that stupid interview all those months ago and when he then returned the compliment weeks later in his own interview.  

So what was there really to do aside from lean into the inevitable? 

And you also didn’t want to think too much at all. 

What you wanted to do was kiss him. Honestly, you found yourself wanting to be as close as you possibly could be to him in this huge but quiet room. 

Instead, though, for the time being, you softly said, “I have a stupid question too.”

Your hands resting on his shoulders moved to the nape of his neck. The thought of his music was suddenly on your mind too and it was the one thought that you didn’t want to push away. 

Eddie smiled a little. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “That one song you have.” You didn’t even have to say the name for him to know which one you were talking about. “Is it really about…”

You trailed off with your question and Eddie finished it for you. “Cumming?”

You gave him another quick nod. “Yeah.”

If he could ask you about sex scenes, then you could ask about something somewhat equivalent. 

The speculations about what the song was about were there the second it came out, but like most musicians, Eddie never outwardly confirmed nor denied song theories to pretty much any of his songs. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” He said, another teasing smile tugging at his lips. “Anyone can see it how they want to. Everything’s up for interpretation.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at him. “Thank you for that interview answer.”

Your gaze settled back on him and you got the sudden urge to run your fingers through his hair, his mop of curls that still looked so effortlessly perfect, so you did. His sigh in contentment was immediate as your fingers twisted in his curls, not at all tugging or pulling, although you were fairly certain he wouldn’t have minded that either. 

“Can I please get a real answer now?” You asked softly and Eddie didn’t hesitate to nod. 

“Yes, it’s about that. But, more specifically it’s about the girl. Making her come,” He told you as a hand pulled away from your hip and instead slipped beneath your dress, traveling upward along the outer part of your thigh. 

“Oh, really?” You said, trying your hardest to feign innocence and nonchalance, even though his words made you want to explode and you could feel something stir deep inside your stomach. You slowly shifted in his lap, spreading your legs a little further and silently telling him where you really wanted his hand to be.  

Eddie picked up on your not-so-subtle hint and his hand finished its journey up your thigh and settled at the waistband of your underwear. “Mhm.”

Silently, he slipped past the thin barrier and you sucked in a quick breath when his middle finger started teasing your already slick folds. 

“Shit, you’re soaked,” He whispered, and all you could do was hum in response. 

One of his fingers slipped inside of you and your eyes squeezed shut and then you couldn’t hold back your loud moan when he immediately added another.

“Eddie…” Was all you could manage to say in the quietest voice as your eyes slipped shut and you focused on the feeling of his fingers inside of you, somehow quickly finding and hitting the most perfect spots. 

“God, you feel so good. You’re squeezing my fingers so tight,” He said, voice low as his thumb found your clit. 

Your head tipped back as another soft moan fell from your lips and Eddie’s mouth immediately went to your now-exposed neck. He nipped and pecked at the soft skin, leaving marks that you were certain would be there later and would be a bitch to cover up, but in that moment you couldn’t find it in you to care in the slightest. 

You couldn’t even find it in you to feel embarrassed about how quickly and easily he was able to bring you so close to coming on his fingers. Your heart hammered in your chest and your stomach twisted up in knots as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge. 

Slowly, you grinded down against him so that you could meet every thrust of his fingers. You started practically riding his hand and the low sound Eddie let out as he watched you made a small smile tug at your lips. 

“Fuck,” He groaned, his other hand squeezing your hip and slightly guiding you. “You’re so perfect.” 

You let out the softest sound. “I'm so close.”

“Yeah, you’re doing so well for me, sweetheart. Come on. Come for me,” Eddie whispered, pulling away from your neck because he wanted to watch you come undone on his fingers. 

And you did. With his thumb expertly circling your clit along with one particularly rough thrust of his fingers, hitting a spot that made you see stars, you were pushed over the edge. Your eyes screwed shut and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming. 

Eddie continued fingering you through your orgasm, waiting until your soft moans faded out and your quick breathing became a little more steady before slowly pulling his fingers out. It was hard not to whimper at the loss of contact as your eyes opened again and you looked at him. 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what the song’s about,” He said with a teasing smile on his face as he licked his fingers clean, which was quite literally the hottest thing you’d ever seen.

And it was then that you realized that you hadn’t even kissed him yet, and you further realized that you needed to change that immediately. 

You leaned in and met his lips in the messiest kiss. Tongues clashed and when you tasted yourself on his mouth, you couldn’t bite back your moan. 

Eddie’s hands went to your hips and then circled your back to pull you impossibly closer to him. You wished there were no layers separating the two of you; not your dress and not his suit, nothing. 

“I need you,” You said the three words in between quick kisses. 

“Here?” Eddie whispered against your lips, which made you remember exactly where you two were and pulled you out of the lust-driven haze you were in. 

You parted from Eddie, leaning back a bit and meeting his eyes. “I’m friends with Steve, but I don’t know if our friendship is on that kind of level, so no definitely not here.”

He laughed a little at the playfulness in your tone. “We can go to my place. I’m only like thirty minutes from here.”

“That sounds perfect,” You smiled at him and then kissed him one more time before shifting off of his lap and then standing up to readjust your dress on slightly wobbly legs.

The party was still in full swing when you and Eddie emerged from the theater room and headed back into the living room, so no one took notice of you and him slipping out the front door.  

Eddie’s hand found yours as you two waited for the car to come and he didn’t drop it once you two were settled in the backseat, sitting as close as you possibly could be.  

The smallest part of you wondered when some sort of logical thinking was going to settle in. You never did things like this; it was rare that you simply even kissed someone that you just met, let alone did anything more. However, you realized that you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this comfortable and okay with someone new either, and that made you understand that this was the logical thing to do. Everything about this moment simply felt right. 

“What are you thinking about?” Eddie whispered to you, mouth right at your ear. 

“You,” You answered, voice matching his soft tone, and the smile he gave you in response was probably the sweetest thing you’d ever seen. 

[haveihitanerve]

Bruce loved his children. To say he didn't would've been a lie and a fallacy and any other word to describe being incorrect. But there were also occasions where Bruce happily would have gone back in time and smacked his younger self for having been so weak willed and adopted them. He never regretted it, no, but he wanted his younger self to know the action had consequences. Heavy consequences.

"Wow Batman," Superman laughed, hand tousling over Dick's hair as the young child beamed, eyes glowing in hero worship. "Your Robin is so polite! He must be a joy to have around the house!"

Bruce couldn't answer, too busy fighting the twitching of his eyelid and the grinding of his teeth that would give him away. Dick was a joy. Most of the time.

He was, however, also intent on making Bruce's life as labourous and difficult as possible. It seemed to be his job. Bruce hadn't had a solid, uninterrupted night of sleep since the boys arrival two years prior.

Not due to nightmares, no no, Dick would wake him up in the middle of the night, or early morning depending on patrol, to ask him to go to the bathroom with him. Because he was afraid of the sink. Dick loved sinks. Bruce was pretty certain the boy would live in one if he didn't love moving more.

Or he'd sing a kids song creepily at four am from the corner of Bruce's bed, having convinced him he couldn't sleep alone that night, but change the lyrics to insult Bruce, and then roll over and pretend to be asleep.

"Yes." Bruce agreed through clenched teeth. "Such a joy." Dick beamed at him.

~

"Hello Batman!" Diana smiled at Bruce, her arm wrapped around a positively glowing Jason's shoulders, and he was immediately on edge.

"Your son is the sweetest!" She gushed, and Bruce would've felt pride. Truly. Really, he wanted to. But then she uttered those faithful words. "It must be such a joy to raise him!"

It wasn't Diana's fault, really. She wasn't a mother. She didn't know. She couldn't have! Otherwise it would have just been cruel. And Diana didn't do cruel. Not like this.

Jason smiled innocently, grinning up at his idol. "B is amazing! He lets me do whatever I want and never yells!" The words were false. If he could, Bruce wouldn't let the boy do anything.

He had been fooled, at first, but Jason's goody two shoes act. Had almost believed that after the chaos tornado that was Dick Grayson, the universe had finally blessed him with a well behaved child.

He was wrong. Jason loved school. It only gave him more material to use to insult Bruce with. While Dick had stuck with classic insults like "dumb dumb" and "poopy head" Jason stuck with classic insults.

Bruce had never been called a "lily-livered toad stool" before he'd met Jason. He'd also never been forced to read a two hundred page book as a bed time story, acting out as many of the parts as possible with voices, just for his son to wait for the last page and promptly reveal he'd already read it and despised the book.

"Oh yes." Bruce agreed, eyes burning into his son's. "Such. a. joy." Jason winked.

~

"Gotta hand it to ya Bats." Hal chuckled, knocking an affectionate fist against Tim's shoulder. "I didn't think you had it in you to be a father." Bruce chose not to respond to the fact that Hal knew he had a Robin for many of the past years and just stared at him blankly.

Hal grinned, and his fist knocked against Tim's in an elaborate handshake. "He's a clever one, just like you. Must be such a joy to have your carbon copy." He laughed.

It was only the years of meditation and deep breathing exercises Bruce had learned in the Himalayan mountains that kept Bruce from flinching. Tim's smile stretched from one ear to the next.

Hal wasn't wrong, exactly. Tim was a lot like Bruce. However, that only meant that Tim could read him better than most others could, and also meant he knew exactly the right techniques to ultimately piss Bruce off.

Like making purposeful typos in his reports. Or hiding an injury. Or Specifically making only himself a cup of coffee after a long nights work. Honestly, it was a little impressive how much work Tim put in to be the most hindering and teeth grinding person around.

Hal was just annoying because it was his personality. Tim was annoying because he lived to see the way Bruce's face twisted up like he'd eaten a lemon

(a bad comparison as Bruce didn't flinch when eating lemons, a side effect of Tim having slipped them into his mouth for a solid month while he slept, having previously drugged his food so he wouldn't wake. The boy still wouldn't reveal why he'd done it, but Bruce lived in fear ever since)

and Tim thrived off of the way Bruce yelled his name. It was like the sweetest symphony to him, to look up adoringly into his mentors eyes, batting his eyelashes and twitter: "Yes Bruce?" with the small, most cutest smile he could muster, hands clasped beneath his chin like a small Victorian child. "Is something the matter?"

And Bruce could never say yes, because there was never any proof that something was. Or if there was, it was so minor and blatantly targeted as something only Bruce would find annoying, that he would have no ground to stand on for an argument.

"Of course." Bruce agreed, voice tight the way it always was when Tim looked at him with such innocent eyes. "Such a joy."

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[22ayla21]

This topic is a bit dark and quite sad, so I can understand if you don't want to accept this request.

But I like how you usually cover a little bit of everything in the scene of your posts (apart from some reactions that are really endearing on the part of the boys of the hsr of those you currently write, and that make you feel happy about how good companions they are):

The scene was how they would react/encourage their wife in case she had had an abortion/loss of the baby (It would be the first pregnancy she had, before the little ones they currently have)

The Weight of Loss

Nothing can compare to how a mother loses her child.

An unnatural silence hung over the palace. Even the guards, usually clattering their boots through the corridors, stepped softer, as if afraid to disturb the quiet. Servants whispered among themselves, and courtiers tried to stay out of sight altogether.

Mydei sat by her bedside, holding her cold hand in his. The room was dim, thick curtains blocking out the light, but even the sun couldn't dispel the chill.

She lay motionless, eyes closed, but he knew she wasn't asleep.

She hadn't uttered a word since it happened.

Mydei looked at her pale, waxen face and felt something inside him tear apart.

He always knew the world was cruel. He had seen cities fall, people die, betrayal corrode souls. But never before had he felt so powerless.

Her shoulders trembled, but there were no tears. Only this frightening, icy silence, devouring her from within.

He didn't know what to say. What words could comfort in the face of such loss?

He simply slowly raised her hand and gently pressed his lips to her fingers.

He wanted to say that the pain would pass, that time would heal the wounds, that they would still have a future. But that would be a lie.

Some wounds don't heal. They become part of a person, changing them forever.

So he remained silent.

Just sat beside her, warming her hand with his own, running his fingers over her skin, letting her know she wasn't alone.

Someday she would smile again. Someday this pain would subside.

But until then, he would be there. Always.

The house was deafeningly silent.

Anaxagoras sat on the edge of the bed, head bowed. His hands were clasped, and a dull, aching pain pulsed in his chest. He had never been good at comforting, and now... Now he simply didn't know what to say.

His wife lay facing the wall, her shoulders barely moving. She wasn't crying aloud, but he knew the tears were there, deep inside, burning her from within.

The child was gone.

He would never hear his voice, never feel his tiny hand in his own. He would never know what color his eyes would have been—hers or his?

But she... She had lost more. Hope. A future she had already begun to build in her heart.

Slowly, carefully, he lay down beside her, not touching her, just feeling the warmth of her body.

"I'm sorry," she whispered after a long pause. He wanted to shout. How could she think she was to blame?

"No," his voice was hoarse but firm. "No, don't you dare apologize."

She didn't answer, just curled up tighter, as if trying to dissolve into the air.

Then he carefully reached out and hugged her, pulling her close. She tensed, but then the trembling of her body intensified, and finally, she broke down in tears. Her fingers dug into his shirt, and his arm tightened around her shoulders.

"I'm here with you," he whispered. "Always with you."

This wasn't the end. It was pain, but not the end.

Silence.

It was everywhere. It filled the space, stretched like a sticky shroud, as if muffling even the quietest sounds. He sat beside her, holding her cold fingers in his hands, but she didn't respond to his touch. Her gaze was empty, staring into nothingness, as if she was trying to find an answer in the air to why it had happened this way.

He didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to break the silence without causing her more pain. Any words seemed inappropriate, false. "Everything will be fine"—a lie. "We'll get through this"—too simple.

And yet, he had to say something.

He gently ran his hand over her back, feeling the tension in every muscle. She sat motionless, but he felt the storm raging inside her.

"I'm here," he breathed. Just that. No extra words.

She flinched. Slowly turned to him, and he saw her eyes—red, dull, full of emptiness. Then her lips trembled, and she whispered, barely audible:

"I failed you."

He had never felt such pain from someone else's words. As if something fragile and precious had shattered in his chest.

"No," he said sharply, louder than he intended. He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "No. Never. You didn't fail me."

She didn't answer, just lowered her gaze, then buried her forehead in his chest. And only then did he feel her shoulders shake.

He didn't know how to heal this pain. No one did. But he knew he wouldn't leave her alone.

When the tears finally broke through, he didn't pull away. Didn't say everything would be fine. He just held her, stroked her hair, letting her cry.

This pain wouldn't go away immediately. But he would stay by her side. Always.

[trashytracktales]

My love….i need some ANGST. Like make me cry….then make me wet 😱😅

IM SORRY ITS BEEN ONR OF THOSE DAYS and your posts always make the day better.

Final call | LN⁴

📞 summary ──── Lando thought that ending things was the right decision. But he never really let go. When one final, desperate call pulls her back into his orbit, old wounds resurface, anger and longing collide, and the lines between love and heartbreak blur.

📞 pairing ──── Lando Norris x (she/her) ex!reader

📞 rating ──── explicit

📞 warnings ──── 18+, mature/sexual content, descriptive language, mentions of drinking, Lando struggling with withdrawals from his usual life, drunken texts, heavy angst and arguments, swearing, heartbreak, power struggles between both characters, smut, fingering with teasing and edging, unprotected sex, praise, desperation, overwhelming pleasure leading to emotional vulnerability, begging, multiple orgasms, post-sex tenderness, crying (I need to touch some grass fr fr).

📞 word count ──── 12.8k

📞 date ──── Mar. 30, 2025

📞 a/n ──── Been working on this for over a month now. It feels like a fever dream, I have no words. Enjoy whatever this is and I apologize in advance 🤧

IT IS A random Saturday night during the winter break, and Lando would rather stay home. But he’s spent the last two months buried in the same routine; rinse and repeat. It’s been easier that way, keeping himself too busy to think, and too exhausted to feel anything else.

This time around, his friends have been quite insistent, pushing him to get out of his self-imposed isolation.

“Come on, mate,” said Max, his frustration evident in every word he uttered, even through the speaker, “One night won’t kill you. Everyone is expecting you to be there.”

“Why would they?” asked Lando, not particularly interested in Max’s answer.

“Because I told them you’ll come. Now, don’t make me a liar, and get your athletic physique up. I’ll get to yours in five.”

Lando tried to argue at first, but Max wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, eventually, after what felt like ages of back-and-forth, he caved, mostly out of morbid curiosity.

Now, standing in the dimly lit bar, surrounded by laughter and music, he wonders why he agreed, after all. When he’s not in the mood to party or to be around people in general, everything is suddenly way too loud, too annoying, and nothing satisfies him. The air is thick with a weird combination between spilled liquor and various perfumes, adding to his irritation.

Avoiding to make a scene, Lando shifts awkwardly, nursing a drink, half-listening to whatever story Connor is animatedly telling. He feels bad when he realizes that he hasn’t seen most of his friends since the breakup, but he knows they’ve only been giving him the space he needed, waiting for him to bounce back.

But Lando hasn’t. He’s just gotten better at pretending things are going the right way. Fake it until you make it, or whatever.

“Landooo,” Max says suddenly, nudging him out of his thoughts. “Look who I ran into!”

Lando turns and his eyes lock on her, her alluring presence catching him off guard.

“This is Eva,” Max continues, “An old friend of mine.”

He can’t help but think how effortlessly beautiful she is, all bright eyes and easy smiles, with the kind of confidence that makes people gravitate toward her instinctively.

“Hey,” the girl says, offering him a playful smirk. “I was starting to think you were just a figment of Max’s imagination.”

Lando forces a chuckle. “Yeah, well. I haven’t been… around much.”

Eva tilts her head, taking him in. “That’s a vague answer.”

Max claps a hand on Lando’s shoulder. “He’s just being mysterious. It’s part of his charm, you’ll see.”

Lando rolls his eyes, but plays along. He knows what Max is doing, but he doesn’t call him out on it.

Because maybe Max is right. Maybe he should try.

And so he does.

He engages in conversation, letting himself slip into the rhythm of it. Eva is funny and easy to talk to. She makes it effortless, steering their interaction in a way that keeps his mind from wandering. As the night progresses, they end up dancing, and hands are suddenly everywhere while the music envelops them like a protective dome.

At some point, he offers to buy her another drink, and she smiles, nodding at Lando’s initiative.

“I’d like that,” she admits, her eyes sparkling under her eyelashes.

They weave through the crowd toward the bar, and as they wait, she leans in a little closer. It’s subtle at first — a touch to his shoulder when she laughs, then her fingers grazing his bicep. Lando notices it, but he doesn’t react. Not until he feels her fingertips brush against his hand. At that, he looks down and sees the way her small hand lingers against his, making his chest tighten.

She’s watching him with anticipation in her expression, waiting for him to do something. Anything. To respond, to take her hand in his, to let this moment be what it’s supposed to be.

Lando closes his eyes for a fraction. Then he pulls his hand away. Eva’s face doesn’t fall, but something shifts in her eyes; the spark goes away, being replaced by something Lando can’t quite decipher. Confusion, perhaps? Understanding, maybe? Pity, for sure.

She nods, taking a step back, putting distance between them. “Right,” her voice is light, but unbothered. “Cheers for the drink, Lando. I should get back to my friends.”

Lando swallows, guilt gnawing at him. “Eva, it’s not that I don’t—”

She stops him with a tiny smile hanging in the corner of her mouth. “Don’t have to explain yourself to me, darling. It was fun meeting you, hope to see you around. Have a nice night.”

And with that, she’s gone.

He watches her disappear into the crowd, debating going after her or scanning the place to find someone else.

Finally, Lando turns back to the bar, giving his head a little shake.

Well, that went well.

He downs the rest of his drink in one go and signals for another. The liquid burns his throat, but it’s still not enough. He needs more, now that he’s alone. Just for tonight.

As Max said, it won’t kill him.

A few minutes later, Lando returns to his people with another drink in hand. He looks much more relaxed, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. It’s still there, somewhere, lost among the lonely nights spent in his apartment, buried under the lies he told his friends just to be left alone.

Max spots him first and frowns, “Mate, where’s Eva?”

Lando shrugs, “I think she didn’t like my bucket hat.”

Max squints in his direction, clearly unimpressed. “You didn’t even try, did you?”

He did, but won’t bother explaining that to Max. It’s not the time nor the place and, taking a slow sip of his new drink, Lando doesn’t answer, ending the conversation there.

HIS PLACE IS drenched in darkness, exactly how he left it, when Lando stumbles in. He kicks off his shoes haphazardly, muttering a curse as one skids across the floor.

So, Max’s plan hadn’t helped; nothing ever does. He had laughed at all the right moments, sipped at overpriced drinks, and told himself he was having fun. But the ride home had been silent, his thoughts crashing against him like a lost boat against the waves in the middle of a storm.

His friend offered to stay over, but didn’t insist when Lando told him he was okay; two months of pretending he was.

Two months of convincing himself he made the right choice, that he needed space to figure out who he was outside of them. He told himself he needed to be alone and focus on his work, because the aftertaste of the last season still lingers. He wants to see his dream manifesting before his eyes, and he knows that comes with a set of sacrifices. He is ready, but how far is he willing to go? What else is he willing to give up?

Because all he’s done in her absence is slowly descending into madness.

With a defeated sigh, Lando collapses onto the couch. His head falls back against the cushions, just as his phone starts buzzing into his pocket. He doesn’t need to check it to know it isn’t her. She hasn’t reached out since the day she walked away, her face crumpling in defeat as she whispered, I can’t keep fighting for something you clearly don’t want.

The memory of her face still haunts him, because he knows now, just as he knew then, that he should have fought harder. He wishes he had at least tried. Although he also knows it wouldn’t have been fair to either of them, because the mental state he was in at the time would’ve made everything worse for both of them.

Without thinking too much of it, his thumb finds her little icon, and before he can stop himself, Lando starts typing.

10:24 PM: Hey, you up?

10:24 PM: Sorry.

10:26 PM: Can we talk?

10:30 PM: You ever think about us?

10:35 PM: Forget I said anything.

10:39 PM: No, actually, don’t. You were everything. You ARE everything.

10:39 PM: I may be a little bit drunk, but I fucking miss you, baby…

10:41 PM: I don’t miss you because I’m drunk BTW. I just miss you.

10:41 PM: All the time.

10:45 PM: Was I ever enough for you? Like, in general… do you think we could’ve made it work?

10:47 PM: God, I hate you for making me question myself like this.

10:58 PM: I don’t hate you. I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about you.

11:59 PM: Remember when we went to Lake Como and got lost trying to find that little café? I think about that all the time. It started raining, and we both got sick, then we stayed in bed for a week.

11:08 PM: Are you happy?

11:10 PM: Please, say something.

11:10 PM: I know I ended this, but don’t ignore me.

11:10 PM: Please…

On the other side of the city, she’s sitting across from a man who could be plucked from a brochure for Monaco’s elite. His posture oozes confidence and he’s immaculate, from the tailored suit to his charm that has her smiling politely but distantly. He’s nothing like Lando, and she noticed that from the first date. That’s the reason why she agreed to go out again. And again.

Now, she’s four dates in, and she tries to convince herself she could get used to seeing this man as something more. But it’s not that easy when all he talks about is crypto currency and boats.

Suddenly, her phone starts buzzing, a succession of vibrations that she tries to ignore at first.

Once.

Twice.

Three-four-five-six-seven times.

When it keeps going, she excuses herself to glance at the screen, and her stomach twists as she sees his name. What freaks her out at first is that only now she realizes that she never changed his contact name, and LANDO ♥︎ now occupies both the entire size of her screen and her entire mind.

“Is everything okay?” her date asks, his voice cutting through her haze.

She blinks, confused, “I’m sorry, yeah,” she says, a wave of heat crawling up her chest and neck. “I forgot to put it on silent.”

A deep ache settles in between her lungs as she touches the icon to silent her phone. She wishes she could do that to her brain right now, because all of a sudden, her entire world starts spinning faster.

It’s the first time he’s reached out since he ended things. For her, this is monumental. But she shouldn’t care. She shouldn’t even be tempted to read whatever nonsense he keeps typing out. But then another message comes through, begging her not to ignore him, and something about the desperation in the rapid notifications makes her break.

“Excuse me,” the girl says quickly, pushing her chair back as she gets up, ready to head towards the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

Somehow, she knew the quiet won’t last forever, but she kept hoping that Lando was happy, even without her. She hated him for a few hours after he broke up with her, but all the hatred faded away the next morning, when she woke up in an empty bed, trying her best to understand his decision.

She did, eventually. And she accepted it. More than that, she respected it, because she knew that Lando would do the same for her.

Rage.

She put in so much work, and now it’s all for nothing.

She exhales heavily, gripping the edge of the sink before finally, finally unlocking her phone, not so surprised to see more texts flooding the screen.

11:12 PM: I just wanna talk, I swear.

11:12 PM: Can I call you?

11:12 PM: Just once, please.

11:13 PM: I miss your voice.

Her heart breaks a little, but before she can overthink it, she presses that call button herself, and Lando picks up on the first ring. There’s silence at first. Nothing but his uneven breathing and the faint hum of the muted background noise.

Then, she hears his voice, rough and slightly slurred, “You called.”

She closes her eyes, trying her best to control her trembling hands. “Only to tell you to stop texting me, Lando. I am busy.”

A pause. Then a slow, shaky inhale, followed by Lando’s curiosity, “It’s almost midnight on a Saturday night, how busy are—” he stops himself as if realizing something obvious, his next words dripping in disappointment, “Oh, you’re busy,” he continues, but this time his voice changes to nonchalance. “What am I interrupting?”

She presses her lips in a thin line, bringing her fingers to her temple. “None of—”

“Are you with someone?”

Her throat tightens. “None of your business,” she finally manages to say.

His heavy breath crackles through the speaker. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

She doesn’t confirm it. Doesn’t deny it. Just exhales slowly, wishing she would disintegrate into thin air before the conversation gets to an end.

To break her silence, Lando makes a noise, something caught between a bitter laugh and a sigh. “How boring is he? Be honest.”

The girl blinks, letting out a dry laugh. “Excuse me?”

“The guy you’re with,” says Lando, “How boring is he? Does he talk about taxes and golf? I bet he fucking sucks at golf.”

“Lando, how drunk—”

“Does he make you laugh?” his voice drops, softer now, but unsure. “Like I used to? God, I miss your laugh.”

She grips the sink tighter, warning him, “Stop that.”

Silence.

Then, in true Lando fashion, he blurts out something completely ridiculous, “And I miss you.”

Her stomach flips. Painfully.

He shouldn’t have this right. He broke up with her. He was the one who argued in detail why they should break up and stay that way. Him. But hearing his voice again, after all this time, she realizes how easy it is to fall back into it. Into everything they had.

“I do,” Lando insists, “I really fucking miss you, baby. Do you miss me?”

The words hit like a sucker punch.

Yes.

She bites her lip, willing herself not to break. “No,” she ends up saying.

“No,” he echoes. And for once, he sounds completely sober.

She swallows hard, forcing her voice to stay steady as she repeats, “I am busy. Goodbye, Lando.”

And before he can say anything else, before she lets herself feel too much and tell him the truth, she hangs up. With a heavy heart, she presses the phone against her chest, eyes shut, trying to breathe through the emotions crashing over her.

Breaking up with someone when you still love them is like throwing yourself into a bottomless pit. You don’t know when or if the fall will ever end, you have no idea whether or not you’ll be alone on the other side if it does end, and you certainly don’t know if you’ll make it there alive. They had their problems, of course. Everybody does. But for the first time in their relationship, Lando’s goals didn’t include her, and she had to make peace with it.

Inhaling deeply, she looks back at her reflection then she steels herself, smoothing her dress, and wiping at the corners of her eyes.

THE SECOND SHE hangs up, her words brand themselves into his brain, and for a while, he’s terrified that he’ll go mad, because they won’t stop replaying in his head like a broken record.

Goodbye, Lando. Goodbye, Lando. Goodbye, Lando.

Goodbye.

The finality of it slams into him, sucking the air from his lungs, and all the light from his eyes.

He can’t do anything but stand there, phone still pressed to his ear, as if maybe she’ll change her mind and call back. As if this is just a silly test, some cruel joke played by the universe to see how much more he can take before he completely breaks.

To his horror, the line stays dead, and the realization settles in too quickly for him to process, a dull ache spreading through his chest like poison ivy.

She didn’t even hesitate, didn’t soften, didn’t give him anything to hold onto. And maybe it’s better this way, but how easy is it to close the door on someone like that?

For the past two months, he told himself that if he ever needed her — really needed her — she’d be there for him. Because he knows her, and he knows that no matter how much time passed, no matter how many miles stretched between them, she’d still be his person.

But now, the truth is staring Lando in the face. And it looks like him. She’s gone for good, and he has no one to blame but himself.

His jaw clenches, his hold tightening around the phone so hard he might break it. The room feels too big, too empty, too goddamn quiet to the point it gets too much. With an angry exhale, Lando hurls his phone across the room, watching it smashing against the wall before clattering to the floor, the sound slicing through his ears like a gunshot.

With a deep sigh, he drags his hands down his face, fingers digging into his skin as if he can claw the frustration out of his body.

What did you expect? he asks himself. Then, he laughs. A dry laugh, deprived of real amusement.

At that time, space was what he needed, but she was never something Lando needed to escape. She was his anchor. His safe place. And now, she’s out with some other guy, probably smiling in that adorable way she does when she’s trying to be polite but isn’t actually interested.

Or maybe she is interested. Maybe she is moving on.

The thought nearly guts him.

Pushed by fear from behind, Lando forces himself to move, pacing the the living room while he runs a hand through his hair, irritation simmering beneath his skin like an annoying itch he can’t scratch. His heart is racing, thoughts spiraling faster than he can control. The only time he felt like this before was when his car slipped from his grasp back in 2021 at Spa. He knew he had to brace for impact, and knew his time was limited to do so. The difference now is that he can’t even brace himself, because the impact already took him by surprise.

This can’t be it.

After a moment, he crosses the room and picks up his phone. It has a little crack across the screen, but it’s still functional and, in his foolishness, he takes it as a sign to start typing again.

11:59 PM: Fuck your goodbye. You’re really just going to pretend like I don’t exist?

11:59 PM: After everything?

12:01 AM: Such a fucking liar.

12:01 AM: You can’t tell me you don’t feel anything. That you don’t miss me at all.

12:04 AM: I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you, alright? But I swear to god, I never stopped caring about you.

12:04 AM: Not for a second.

12:07 AM: It’s so stupid, but tell me to move on, and I will.

12:08 AM: Tell me you don’t love me anymore, and I’ll leave you alone.

12:48 AM: Please, don’t leave me like this…

12:48 AM: We can find a way, I know we can.

12:53 AM: No one will ever know you like I do, you know that, right?

12:53 AM: He doesn’t know how you hum when you’re nervous or how you always steal the blanket in your sleep, does he?

01:23 AM: Got it.

01:23 AM: If you ever meant what we promised, just know that this is my final call.

The moment he sends the last text, Lando knows he’s got only one chance to make it right. And maybe he took it too far this time, but he’s also at peace, knowing he did everything he could to catch her attention.

Their worst fight ever, before breaking up, nearly ended them right there and then. They were on the verge of walking away, but when all the anger settled and the silence stretched between them, they both realized neither wanted to lose the other. So, they needed a way to say it. A final chance to make things right.

A final call.

A desperate ‘I need you’. No games, no pretending. If one of them said it, the other showed up, no questions asked.

But the seconds turn into minutes, and the minutes turn into his darkest hour.

HER KNUCKLES ALMOST leave marks against Lando’s door from how aggressively she’s knocking. She is relentless, angry, and insistent, like she wants to break through it at all costs.

Behind the door, Lando frowns, pushing himself off the couch where he’d been slumped, after the realization hit him. But when he swings it open, his heart nearly flatlines.

She’s standing there, chest heaving and eyes wild with fury, with her tears still fresh on her face. Before he can say a word, she pushes him hard, forcing him a step back as she storms inside. The door slams shut behind her, the sound ringing through the silence of his empty apartment.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Lando?” her voice cracks, her chin trembling under the weight of her furious words. “Are you actually serious?”

Lando barely has time to react before she shoves him again, her palms pressing into his chest with all the force her adrenaline generates.

He stumbles back, blinking at her in shock.

“You’re such a coward!” she yells, “This is so unfair, you know?” her voice wavers, but her anger doesn’t falter. “You have no right to do this to me. None.”

Lando swallows hard, his mind scrambling to catch up. But too much is happening too quickly, and he doesn’t get the chance, before she interrupts him right when he’s about to speak.

“No. You’ve said enough, now I’m talking,” her breath is ragged while pointing a finger at her chest, her whole body shaking with rage as she glares up at him. “You don’t get to pull me in just to push me away. Again and again. You don’t get to decide when you love me and when you need space. And you sure as hell don’t get to use your last call just to make me drop everything for you. Because of course I will, and you know it!” she says, laughing at herself in disbelief. “That’s so fucking selfish, especially when I know you don’t even mean it, and you’re just too fucking pressed that I’m moving on without you.”

His stomach twists. “I do mean it.”

“Oh, really? Then why do you do this?” she asks, her voice breaking as she shoves him again, weaker this time. “Why? One second, you’re in love with me, and the next, you want to be left alone. And now you’re dragging me back in like I don’t have a choice, like I don’t have a life outside of you.”

Lando flinches, guilt settling deep in his bones. “I wasn’t trying to—”

“You don’t know what you want,” she accuses, her voice trembling in frustration. “Because if you did, you’d know how ridiculous you’re being right now. You can’t do this to people who love you, Lando. You can’t just… fuck with my peace like this just because you’ve had a rough night. I’ve had plenty of those myself!” she loses it, turning around only to take a break from seeing his face.

Her words hit Lando like a freight train, but she doesn’t even realize what she’s just said. She’s too caught up in the whirlwind of emotions, too exhausted from holding herself together. But Lando heard her loud and clear: she still loves him.

He takes a step toward her, thinking that she’s done with pushing, but when she suddenly turns around, she starts hitting his chest again, enough to pour out all the anger, all the irritation, and all the heartbreak she’s been carrying like rocks in her pockets.

Lando just stands there, letting her, because he knows he deserves it.

Finally, she lets out a shaky breath, her hands falling limply against him. Her forehead presses into his chest as the fight drains from her completely, and a sob wracks through her. Instinctively, Lando’s arms move on their own, pulling her into his tight embrace.

He wraps himself around her, his grip firm but careful, like she might slip through his fingers if he’s not careful. Her tears soak into his shirt, and for the first time in months, the floor stopped moving under his feet, and Lando can breathe again.

They stay like that for a long time. No more words. No more yelling. Just the sound of their breathing, and their hearts beating in sync. Lando’s hand is gently moving up and down her back, and she hates how safe she feels with his scent enveloping her from every direction.

She doesn’t know how much time passes, but eventually, she sniffles and pulls away just enough to wipe her cheeks.

Her fingers brush lightly against his damp shirt, letting out out a humorless laugh. “I probably ruined your stupid shirt. There’s make-up all over. Sorry.”

Lando shakes his head, his hands still resting on her waist. “That’s okay.”

She scoffs, stepping back to free herself from his embrace. Next time she looks up at him, her eyes are still glassy, but there’s something softer in them now. Then, quietly, she says, “He was boring, by the way.”

She walks past him without another word, heading straight for the couch, just like she did a thousand times before.

Lando turns to follow her, his mind slowly starting to catch up.

She’s here.

She came.

He hesitates for a moment before he enters her personal space again, watching as she sinks into the couch, exhaling silently as if she’s trying to steady herself. She rubs the mascara smudges beneath her eyes, and the sight twists something deep in his chest, realizing that he did this to her. Again. And he hates it. Hates knowing that he’s the reason she looks so lost, with puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Hates that she showed up at his door furious, but now she just looks tired. Most likely of him. Of their situation. Of running in circles that he’s designing with the sole purpose of torturing her.

Still, as Lando lowers himself onto the couch beside her, a strange sense of normalcy settles over him. They’ve sat like this countless times before, curled up together watching movies, falling asleep tangled in each other, making love, and sharing lazy conversations over takeout. He can still picture her lying here in one of his hoodies, laughing at some stupid joke he made, eyes bright and full of adoration. But tonight, the space between them is foreign, like a chasm neither of them knows how to cross.

He exhales, raking a hand through his curls. At least, her words sobered him up, his thoughts clearer than they’ve been in months.

“I met someone tonight,” Lando’s voice cuts through the silence.

Her heart drops in her stomach, but she turns her head to look at him. Her expression is unreadable, however, Lando can see the way her fingers tighten on her thighs, like she’s bracing herself.

He swallows. “If you need a reason why, this is it. Max introduced me to her,” his tone is quieter now, a bit uncertain. “I think he was trying to… I don’t know. Set me up, maybe.”

She nods once, a short, clipped motion. “And?”

“I tried,” he admits. “I really did. She was nice. We had a few drinks together.” Lando huffs out something that’s almost a laugh but lacks any real amusement. “I even thought that maybe it could work out. I hoped it would work out.”

She doesn’t say anything, but looks at him with empty eyes and dry lips.

Lando sighs, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. “But then she tried to hold my hand and…”

A beat of silence.

Another deep sigh.

He lifts his head just enough to glance at her from the corner of his eye before continuing, “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t pretend,” he adds, voice faint, like the confession is physically weighing on him. “It felt so wrong.”

She turns her face away, staring at the opposite wall, her jaw clenched. She understands him, of course she does. Because that’s exactly what she was doing before her phone was flooded with his texts — pretending. Faking it. Settling for something that, deep down, was so utterly wrong.

Lando shakes his head. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

He watches her profile, trying his best to understand what’s going on inside her head, what she’s thinking, and if she’s warring with her own heart, just like he did for the past two months.

Finally, Lando leans back against the couch. His fingers drum restlessly against his knee when he starts speaking again, “Do you like him?”

She stiffens. “What?”

“The guy you were with tonight,” he says, studying her closely. “Do you like him?”

The girl rolls her eyes, pressing her lips together. “You are so incredibly stupid, Lando.”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs, “I still want to hear you saying it.”

She hesitates, “I don’t know. He’s nice.”

It’s Lando’s turn to roll his eyes now, “Nice.”

She gives him a sharp look. “Yeah, nice. Like the girl you met? What is wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” he mutters. But when she keeps staring, he forces himself to continue, picking at the lint on his pants, only to avoid her piercing eyes. “It’s just… you never went for nice.”

Her expression flickers between annoyance and something else he can’t quite name.

“You don’t know me like that anymore,” she warns him.

Lando lets out a quiet breath, “People don’t change that easily,” he says it like he talks from experience. “I’d still be able to recognize you blindfolded.”

His words almost knock the wind out of her. She tilts her chin up, trying to hold onto her anger, but it’s slipping through her fingers like sand. Especially when he speaks so soflty, no bitter trace behind his voice. It’s just a fact.

“I don’t know about that,” she whispers.

“I do,” he says, getting closer to her side of the couch.

She takes a breath in, exhaling slowly. “You walked away, Lando. It was your choice. What changed?”

Instead of looking back at her, Lando’s picking now at the skin of his thumb with his nail, until he feels the blood under his fingertip. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“For who exactly?”

His chest tightens. “It was for you too,” he says in a defensive tone. “I couldn’t be what you needed. It took me years to finally be competitive, and I barely had time to breathe outside work, let alone be someone you could rely on. There was so much noise around me, I just couldn’t put you in second.”

She shakes her head, her expression caught between irritation and heartbreak. “You didn’t have to change anything for my comfort. I know what racing means to you. Knowing you were there was enough for me.”

He swallows, guilt pressing heavy against his ribs. “Not enough. I didn’t want to drag you down.”

Her lips part, a flash of disbelief crossing her face. “Do you even hear yourself?” she gestures wildly, “You were never dragging me down. I was so happy for you, Lando. Still am,” she blinks rapidly, trying to push down the emotion rising in her throat. “But you decided I was an inconvenience.”

Lando closes his eyes briefly, his fingers curling into fists. He knows she’s right. He knows. But back then, he had convinced himself that letting her go was the only way to keep her from ending up hating him. Now, she’s standing next to him, looking at him like she doesn’t know whether she wants to scream or sob.

“I’m sorry,” it’s all he can say. And then, “I just... missed you.”

Out of instinct, she makes herself smaller on the couch, raising her knees to her chest.

“I tried to act like I didn’t, but I was miserable,” Lando adds, “Everywhere I went, I was looking for you. Waiting for you.”

She closes her eyes, shaking her head again. “Spare me, won’t you?”

“I’m not saying this to change your mind,” he defends himself quickly. “I just need you to know. Because it was eating me alive.”

Her arms loosen around herself, her posture softening just a fraction. “Do you think I wasn’t miserable too?” her voice cracks on the last word. “You said I was pretending you didn’t exist. Do you really think I just walked away and simply forgot about you?”

Lando stares at her, taking in the way her lower lip trembles, the way her eyes are shining with new, unshed tears.

“I don’t know,” he admits.

“Stupid, stupid,” she repeats.

She’s still mad at him. But she aches to be closer, to touch him, to bury her face in his chest and just breathe him in. Just for a moment. Just long enough to pretend that everything is okay again.

Cautious, Lando lifts a hand like he’s giving her time to pull away. But when she doesn’t, his fingers brush against her hair, gently tucking a loose strand behind her ear. His touch is light, barely there, but it still gives her chills. Then, without thinking too much of it, she leans into his touch, her eyes fluttering shut.

A tear slips down her cheek, and before she can wipe it away, Lando’s thumb does.

“I’m sorry.”

She lets out a quiet sob, and that’s all it takes for Lando to pull her into his arms without hesitation. She melts against him, fists gripping the fabric of his shirt, pressing her face back against his chest as she lets more tears out.

Lando buries his face in her hair, whispering all over again, as if that will make her believe him, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Tears are threatening his eyes too, but he closes them before they can escape.

He feels the warmth of her breath against his collarbone and, once again, he’s terrified. He would rather her push him away, rather her scream at him, tell him she hates him, hurt him back. Because all this silence is unbearable. It swallows him whole, and tells him everything he’s too afraid to admit: that he drained her, emptied her out until there was nothing left to give.

He’s about to apologize again, but then he feels it in the way her fingers, still curled into the fabric of his shirt, twitch slightly, and the weight of her head is pressing deeper into his chest — she fell asleep. As soon as things went quiet, she slipped under, exhausted in a way that has nothing to do with the time of night and everything to do with him.

A lump forms in his throat as he presses a lingering kiss to her forehead. He shifts carefully, moving just enough to lean back fully, making sure she’s as comfortable as possible. But unfortunately, sleep doesn’t come easy for him.

HER PALM RESTS against his cheek, the heat of his skin seeping into hers. Every exhale of hers tickles his jaw, and it feels like muscle memory, the way her body molds into his, the way he instinctively holds onto her even in sleep.

Lando doesn’t stir. He never does. He’s always been the type to sleep through anything — alarms, thunderstorms, and morning light flooding the room. Even now, he’s dead to the world, his lips slightly parted, his arm wrapped lazily around her waist.

But his phone vibrates on the coffee table, and that’s what wakes her up, the sound cutting through the stillness. She barely registers it at first, burying her face against his chest, but when it buzzes again and again, she groans softly.

Disoriented, her breath deepens as she takes in her surroundings: the familiar scent, the heavy weight of Lando’s arm, the warmth of his body against hers. And then, all of it crashes down on her. Last night. Every whispered apology, every push, every tear, every way she let herself slip back into him like she never left.

Suddenly, a wave of panic wakes her up for good and, covering her mouth with a trembling hand, she tries to muffle the sob that threatens to escape. She can’t cry again; she’s way too exhausted for that. But her body betrays her, stiffening next to him as his weight becomes suffocating.

Luckily, the continuous buzzing takes her out of it and, reluctantly, she finally reaches for Lando’s phone. The screen lights up with a crack across it, and lots of notifications. It’s 1:04 PM, and a text from an unsaved number catches her attention first:

Hey, Lando ;) This is Eva. Max gave me your number, said you weren’t feeling well last night. I’d like to see you again tonight if...

The rest of the message is cut off by the lock screen, so she lets the phone drop back against the glass of the table, swallowing past the tightness in her throat and slowly turns onto her side, facing him. Lando looks so peaceful like this. His curls are messy, his face slack with sleep, no frown decorating the smooth skin of his forehead. His eyebrows are a little fuzzy, so she gently styles them back into shape with her thumb.

She missed their lazy mornings more than anything. The way the concept of time never seemed to exist when they were wrapped up in each other, away from anything that could potentially come in between them.

Her hand is still weak as she presses her palm to Lando’s chest. His heartbeat thrums beneath her fingertips, steady, warm, alive. That’s why she came here in the first place: for him. And in the clear daylight, she realizes that the familiarity between them can’t be reversed. Last night was a lot, but she can’t let herself fall into it again, no matter how badly her body wants to stay curled into him.

She brings the same palm to her chest then, trying to put some distance, but Lando stirs instinctively. His arm pulls at her waist, his fingers twitching against the fabric of her dress, unwilling to let her go even in the hazy blur of waking up.

His body recognizes hers before his mind does; the warmth, the normalcy of having her there. Then, reality creeps in, dragging him back into consciousness. And with it comes the dull ache pressing against the inside of his skull, the dryness in his throat, the remnants of last night staining his entire body with exhaustion, guilt, and shame.

“I feel like shit,” he speaks against her shoulder, voice raspy from sleep. His head is pounding, his stomach unsettled, but her scent is the only thing guiding him to something steady. He breathes it in, eyes still closed, and continues, “I need a greasy burger for breakfast.”

“It’s past one,” she says quietly.

Lando groans, rolling onto his back, draping an arm over his eyes. He can feel her presence, but even though her body is so close to his, he starts to feel the tension. The distance. He realizes it the second she moves again, getting in a sitting position, ready to leave the bed. Leave him.

Lando’s eyes snap open, desperate to catch a glimpse of her, even as the sunlight nearly blinds him. Her hair is messy, hands resting against her lap. Her dress is all wrinckled and drapes over her frame, making her look small in a way that destroys him. Like she doesn’t belong to this moment, like she’s already halfway out the door.

“I should go,” she says the words that he was so afraid of, and it feels like a knife to his ribs.

“You should stay,” he insists. “We can get something to eat, and I’ll give you a ride home.”

She presses a palm against her forehead, realizing the gravity of the situation. Giving him false hope won’t help anyone.

“No, thank you. Falling asleep was already bad enough.”

Lando clears his throat before speaking again, slightly unsure, “Was it, though?” he asks and, in return, she shoots him a warning look. “I know, I’m sorry.”

However, she’s no longer angry with him. She exhausted the last of her strength last night, and now all that’s left is the bitter taste of what could have been.

“Is that the only thing you’ll say now?”

He licks his lips, throat still dry as if he drank sand. “Yes. Until you forgive me.”

It was meant to be lighthearted, a little joke, and a weak attempt at softening the weight pressing down on both of them. Based on past experiences, she always forgave him. So why should now be any different, right? But when she doesn’t react, when the silence only thickens, he realizes how fucking stupid that was.

She blinks once, twice. Her gaze flickers away, “Your final call,” she says quietly, “Did you do it because of that girl? You got scared because you liked her more than you thought you could?”

Lando’s heart stalls for a second, caught off guard by her inquire. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I don’t know what the hell I was doing. I mean, I was scared. But not of her,” he stops, thinking of it. The frown comes back, and it looks like the thought gives him a headache. “I was scared of falling back into something I couldn’t fix. Still am. You and me… we’re not easy, you know?” he lets out a small, bitter laugh, almost self-deprecating. “We’ve never been easy. And I’m just so tired of fucking things up.”

She doesn’t think much about her actions lately. She wasn’t thinking last night when she left her date in a rush, and she certainly isn’t thinking now, as she turns her body to face him.

“I don’t understand you anymore, Lando. The only thing I do understand is that you pushed me away just so you wouldn’t have to deal with me. Because you couldn’t handle me, is that right?”

Lando winces. The weight of her words hit him harder than any punch. “No, it’s not right. I just didn’t know how to fix… me,” he says it for the first time out loud, his voice breaking on the last part; surprisingly, it’s not making him as uncomfortable as he thought it would. “I didn’t want to lose you. Not like that.”

She scoffs, “And now what? You think one drunken night is enough to put you on the right track? You think you know what you want just because you’re afraid of losing something that’s no longer yours anyway?” the girl asks, watching as his facial expression changing in pain. “I’m sorry, Lando. I don’t mean to be cruel, but I need answers.”

His voice is barely a whisper as he replies, “The only answer I can give you is that I didn’t know how to be what you needed at the time. Is that so hard to believe?”

Her eyes fill with tears, but she blinks them away. “It is,” she agrees, “Because you never asked me what I needed. Not once. You just did what was best for you. And now…,” her voice trails off before moving her eyes on a random point on the floor, “You’re not showing me anything. You can say that all you want, but how do I know you won’t push me away again? I need to know you’re here, that you’re really here.”

Lando reaches for her then, almost instinctively, his hands determined as he cups her face. “I am here,” he whispers, leaning in, his breath shaky against her skin. “You’re just too stubborn to let me back in. And I get why,” he rushes to say as he feels her tensing under his touch. “But, please. Let me fix us. Please.”

Neither of them speak for a while after that. She’s so close to him now, she can hear both of their heartbeats, the weight of every single second hanging between them like lead from a strand of hair.

She is hesitant, but she pulls him in first, her lips barely brushing over his. Even though it’s a featherlight touch, her close proximity ignites something highly flammable in Lando. He stills, his breath caught in his throat, his hands curling into fists as if holding himself back, too afraid to take it any further too fast.

Just as he leans in, just as he starts to close the little gap, slowly, she pulls away. The loss of her, even for a second, makes his patience snap and, without giving her the chance to build another wall between them, he reaches out, fingers threading into her hair, pulling her back to him, this time with purpose.

She doesn’t resist — can’t, really.

His forehead presses against hers and neither of them move, trapped in the space between knowing and doing. His grip tightens against her jaw, thumb stroking over the edge of her cheek, his breath hot against her parted lips. The weight of everything that’s been left unsaid lingers in the air, and it’s suffocating. She exhales shakily, closing her eyes for a moment, her hands sliding up his chest, fingers splayed over his heart, feeling the way it pounds beneath her touch. And then, as if her body betrays every ounce of hesitation in her mind, she fists his shirt and pulls him back against her.

They crash together, and the world tilts within a second.

Their lips meet in a clash of want and desperation that knows no border of sanity. His hands are suddenly everywhere, cradling her face, threading through her hair, tracing the delicate curve of her spine. She presses into him, her nails scraping against the back of his neck, anchoring herself to him like she’s afraid he’ll slip away any minute. Like he’s going to change his mind again, and tell her to leave, because he needs to be alone.

But he won’t. He never will again. The taste of her floods his senses, familiar and intoxicating, making his body buzz with excitement as he deepens the kiss. He breathes her in, trying to make up for every second he’s spent without her.

She wants him, and she’s aware that things could go exponentially wrong after this, but she’s already broke the rules the moment she crossed his threshold last night. She shifts against him, pressing closer, her fingers tracing lazy patterns over his chest. He stirs slightly, humming, his arms automatically locking around her, helping her sit on his lap.

Her lips brush against his jaw, trailing down the column of his throat. She’s barely even touching him, but she knows he feels it, because she hears the way his breathing stutters, the slight twitch of his fingers against her hip. She smiles, shifting again, innocent, except not at all, because her thigh suddenly drags over his, pressing just enough to feel the growing heat between them.

Lando lets out a sleepy grunt, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “What the hell are you doing?” his aroused voice is exactly how she remembers, rough and deep, and able to send shivers down her spine.

She hums, pressing another kiss to his collarbone. “Nothing.”

Lando chuckles, his hand sliding to grab her waist, fingers lazy but firm. “No, I think you’re doing something.”

And, whatever she’s doing, she doesn’t stop. Doesn’t even pause to think.

She lets out a dry laugh, edged with sadness and a hint of accusation, “Always making me ache, aren’t you?” she asks, pressing her lips against his ear, while positioning herself above him, helping Lando get rid of his shirt. Soon enough, her fingers are dragging down his stomach, nails grazing lightly at his abs. “It’s like it turns you on to see me in pain, isn’t it?” the girl sighs, brushing her hips against his in a way that makes him curse under his breath.

His fingers dig more into her waist, his patience thinning by the second. “You know that’s not true,” his voice sounds so angelic, that she actually believes him for a second because of it. “I’m sorry you can’t trust me anymore. But there’s nothing I hate more than to see you hurting because of me.”

She nods, giving him the impression that his words have the power to make her weak. In reality, she’s just curious to find out how sorry he really is.

“You’ve said that about a hundred times already,” the girl reminds him, “How bad, though?” she tries to push the limits, mostly to see if there are any, the words slipping from her lips like something delicate and filthy all at once. “Bad enough that you’ll drunk text me again? To see if I come running to you? Again? To say you’re sorry a hundred more times, hoping I’ll let you fuck me in whatever position you want, for as long as you want just because I feel for your sorry ass?”

His nostrils flare as he exhales in disapproval, “Stop that shit.”

“Why?” her voice sounds overly seductive, but somehow, he knows it’s just a trap. “Isn’t sex your answer to everything?”

There you go.

Lando’s jaw tenses as the words continue to leave her mouth, unforgiving, each one winding around his self-control like a vice. His fingers twitch on her waist, the weight of her straddling him making it impossible to think straight. She knows exactly what she’s doing, pushing, teasing and testing the waters of his restraint.

And fuck, it’s working.

Her dress has ridden up her thighs higher, exposing smooth, warm skin that begs to be touched, and his hands find their way there without permission, fingertips pressing into her like he wants to make sure he’s not just dreaming, and she’s actually there.

“Not trying to fuck my way back to you, if that’s what you mean,” Lando disagrees just as he lets his fingers drift higher, watching the way her breath becomes more uneven. “But won’t back down if it works, either. So what does that say about you? That we’re just the same?”

She puffs out a laugh, but there’s no humor behind it. Just a lot of tension, coiled so tight between them that something is bound to snap. Soon.

“We’re so not,” she argues, tilting her head slightly, her lips so close to his that he can taste her breath. “I actually have the balls to stay when things get tough.”

Her unfiltered comment it’s all it takes.

Lando moves in a blur, gripping her hips and flipping them over in one swift motion, pressing her into the couch as a surprised gasp leaves her lips. He hovers over her, his body fitting perfectly between her open thighs, hands braced on either side of her head. The sudden shift has her looking up at him, wide-eyed, lips parted, and chest heaving in anticipation.

In this position, Lando looks at her like he’s trying to figure out what to do to her, aware that the changing in dynamics favors him. His hands find the hem of her dress, fingertips teasing the edge as he watches her reaction, giving her a chance to stop him — or to take back her words, whichever comes first. But she does neither. Instead, she lifts her hips, a silent plea, and that’s all the permission that Lando needs.

He peels the fabric up, savoring the way her body is revealed inch by inch. His mouth finds the newly exposed skin along her ribs with the speed of a man starved, trailing open-mouthed kisses up her torso, leaving a path of goosebumps in his wake. Lando can feel her shiver beneath him, her fingers tangling into his curls, tugging just enough to pull a string of sweet noises out of him.

“I won’t be able to stop if we—” he murmurs against her skin, a last sliver of hesitation buried underneath all the want.

She cuts him off by cupping his jaw, guiding his face up so he has no choice but to look at her. “I won’t ask you to,” she assures him, lifting her hips up once more to meet his, feeling how hard he is against her. The contact is like a drug she’s been deprived of for too long, and now that she has access to him again, her mouth starts moving before wiring to the rational side of her brain, “I wanna do laundry together later.”

Despite what he’s just said, Lando does stop, watching her intently. Because he knows that she means more than just laundry. For starters, it means she’s staying. It means she’s letting him try. It means the weight in his chest that’s been suffocating him for weeks finally lifts, replaced by something warm yet fragile, something he doesn’t dare break this time.

He has to swallow past the ache before pressing himself against her, letting her scent wrap around him like the most familiar kind of comfort.

“Yeah?” he finally whispers, like he’s afraid speaking too loudly might shatter whatever weak truce they’ve found between them.

She nods, a real smile appearing on her face, the first one in months, “Yeah,” she parrots, which urges Lando to plant another kiss on her lips, lazier this time. And she welcomes him.

Gradually, his grip consolidates around her, his teeth catching her bottom lip, and suddenly, the slow morning is anything but. Now he’s wired, wide awake, and so fucking hard.

Her hands work fast, pushing at the waistband of his pants with an urgency that makes Lando’s pulse hammer in his throat. He moves enough to help her, and then the fabric is gone, pooling somewhere on the floor, next to her dress and panties.

The feeling of skin on skin has the power to set him on fire, every inch of him hypersensitive as she drags her fingers down his stomach, nails scratching lightly against the ridges of muscle before wrapping around him for just a second, only to say hi. His breath catches, head tipping forward before he forces himself to look down at her.

“You’re a menace,” Lando points out. His voice is thick with desire as he rolls his hips against her once her hands move around his neck, dragging his length along the soft skin of her inner thigh, brushing lightly where she needs him most. He feels her shiver, her nails digging into his back for a fraction of a second before she exhales a breathy laugh.

“I had to adapt,” she says, her voice saccharine, but teasing, fingers biting into his shoulder blades.

“I can see that,” his tone is rough, but there’s something playful underneath it. He continues to move, this time with more intention, the tip of his cock catching against her slick heat.

She bites her lip, her free hand reaching up to pull him down on her and crash their lips together in a messy, open-mouthed kiss, too desperate to be anything but raw. He groans into her mouth, their breaths blending together, and she takes the moment to wrap her legs around his waist, locking him against her completely, the heat ever-growing.

The easiest thing in the world for Lando is to get lost in her warmth, her scent and the way his skin vibrates with every touch of her delicate palm.

The hardest thing in the world for Lando is to stop when every nerve in his body screams for more, just to make sure she wants this as much as he does, even though it risks snapping her back to reason, forcing her to push him away all over again.

“If you don’t—”

She doesn’t even hesitate. “I do.”

With that, his hand is already in motion, dragging down her stomach, pushing between her thighs. He finds her soaked, warm, and slick against his fingertips, and it makes him want to howl, knowing that he still has the same effect on her; if anything, the time spent apart only made her miss his touch more.

“Shit,” he slurs, pressing two fingers against her clit, moving them in torturous circles. “Missed seeing you this needy in the morning.”

She hums, thighs twitching. “Techincally, it’s not morning anymore.”

Lando shakes his head in disbelief, “That smart mouth,” his fingers slip lower, teasing at her entrance but never pushing in, just pressing there, feeling the way she opens up for him.

For a moment, his fingers stay right there to tease her, barely giving what she wants, what she’s silently begging for with the way her hips roll forward. Agonizingly slow, he pushes in, finding her so ready for him and so fucking tight, that Lando swears he could lose his mind just from feeling her in his hands.

The girl huffs out a breath, her frustration evident as she glares up at him, “Lando.”

“Yes, love?” he uses his fingers to press further just a little more, but never enough, feeling her walls hugging him impatiently.

She bites her lip, a flush creeping down her neck, and he knows she hates the way he’s making her ask for it.

Her voice is sharper next time she speaks, “You win. Now stop being a dick.”

Lando smirks, dipping down to press a kiss to her shoulder, dragging his teeth along her skin before pulling back to look at her. “I don’t know,” he says thoughtfully, fingers curling lightly inside her pussy, enough to make her whimper. “I kinda like seeing you like this.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but it’s ruined by the way she starts panting when he finally, finally, glides his fingers in and out, her body agreeing with everything he has to offer. His thumb presses against her clit, rubbing her wetness against it as he watches her fall apart, her hands clinging onto him for support.

“Fuck,” she cries, head tipping back, and Lando swears he’s never seen anything more beautiful.

“Yeah, fuck,” he agrees, leaning in to kiss the corner of her mouth, and then her jaw. Her back arches instantly, a moan spilling from her lips as her nails dig into his arms, while he’s going faster, agonizingly so, dragging his fingers in and out, feeling how her body fights to keep him in. “This what you needed?”

She quickly turns her head from side to side, fingernails scratching along the skin his shoulders. “More,” she whispers, already out of breath. “Wanna feel you.”

Lando pulls his fingers out, watching the way her slick clings to them in the rich color of the afternoon light. He blows out the breath of air he was holding, trapping her thighs in his grasp as he lines himself up, the tip of his cock dragging through the wetness pooling between her legs.

“Well, if that’s what you want, that’s what you get, baby. Wanna see you drip on it,” he muses, pressing just barely inside before pulling back out, coating himself in her slick. “See how much you missed me.”

She whines, hips jerking up.

The grin on Lando’s face widens. “There you go, you beauty.”

She meets his eyes, pupils blown wide, lips swollen from his kisses. Seeing her like that, squirming under him, throws Lando into a spiral. For now, he has no idea where this moment will take them. All he knows is that he wants to make the most of it, to memorize her body lines and the sound of her moans, because once the haze fades and clarity takes its place, anything is possible.

And that terrifies him.

Sinking into her feels like homecoming, and the sweet stretch is making both of them whine in unison, cling onto each other. He swears under his breath as her walls constrict around his length, her mouth falling open in a breathy gasp.

“Holy shit.”

She’s so full of him, just like she wanted, the feeling even better than she remembers.

Lando presses a kiss to her jaw, his hands holding her waist tight enough to leave faint marks behind. “Not letting you go ever again,” he says with his lips glued to her skin like he’s in a trance, voice strained as he fights to keep control of his own body.

She nods, barely able to realize what’s she agreeing on, mind buzzing with thoughts of him, him, only him. “Promise?”

Lando sighs, pulling out slowly, almost all the way before sinking back in. The sound alone — that lazy, wet, messy drag of his cock leaving her, again and again — enough to turn him into a savage man. He watches, entranced, as the evidence of how much she wants him spills down her slit, glistening and painting her inner thighs.

In answer to her plea, Lando links his pinky finger with hers, his hand covering hers entirely. “Promise you, baby. You’re fucking unreal,” he rasps.

Waiting for her was pure torture, but the thought that this can be over before it even properly begins, forces him to still inside her then pull out entirely, his cock, flushed and soaked, resting against her thigh, leaving more of their mess behind. He grips the base, stroking himself once, careful, watching as her empty cunt clenches in his absence, her body desperate to be filled again.

“I’m so glad I got drunk,” says Lando, tracing his fingertips through the wetness between her legs. He presses a long finger back inside her, for his own pleasure, only to feel how impatient she is.

She cries out, thighs snapping shut around his wrist, back arching off the couch. “Yeah, me too,” she blinks up to him, her sincerity spurring Lando on.

He adds another finger as a reward, fucking into her deeper, his other hand stroking his cock in time with her gasps.

“We were always gonna end up here, weren’t we?” asks Lando, his hand working her faster now, watching as she writhes beneath him.

She lets out a choked moan, but can’t answer, too busy rolling her hips against his movements.

“Me, apologizing,” Lando continues, sounding so out of breath, “While you moan my name. Like always, is that right?”

“Lan,” she warns.

“Juuust like that. Look at you,” he chuckles, watching the way her body responds, getting covered in a sweaty layer of goosebumps, and the way her thighs tremble. “As desperate as ever.”

She whimpers, pushing up onto her elbows, dazed and itching to see what he’s doing to her. And the sight makes her pulse race: Lando between her legs, his fingers moving inside her, fucking her with a contrasting gentle force, while his other hand works over his cock, slick and hard, ready to stretch her all over again.

His eyes flick up to hers, dark and hungry, lips parted as he watches her descending into despair, slowly but surely. He drags his fingers out, just to press them back in, firmly, watching her body tense, making her whine louder.

“That’s it, my sweet girl,” he praises, voice subdued and teasing. “Feel it,” his strokes on himself grow lazier, drawing out the moment. “Feel me.”

She nods frantically, her thighs so close to give up from so much shaking. “Not… enough.”

Lando mewls, biting his lip as he watches her squirm, his patience hanging by a thread. “No?” he asks amused, pulling his fingers out and lining himself up again. “Let’s do something about it then. Show you how sorry I am, hm?”

He pushes back inside without any warning in one fluid motion, and the sensation wrecks both of them at the same time. She’s always so fucking tight, but soaked enough that there’s no resistance, just the messy slide of him stretching her open with every inch.

“Shit,” his voice is barely a sound, more like a guttural groan as he bottoms out, his hands finding their way back home, on her hips.

The heat of her, the way she pulses around him, has his heart racing relentlessly, and their sounds fill the living room every time they move together. Lando grits his teeth, withdrawing just halfway before thrusting back in, harder each time.

She gasps, her body craving him, like she can’t get enough. “More.”

He snarls, pace picking up, his hips snapping against hers, skin meeting skin in a rhythm that’s almost punishing. “More?” Lando asks in amazement, “You fucking take everything I give you, and you still want more?”

She nods, dragging her hands down his back, nails leaving marks that burn, but it only spurs him on, thankful she gives him something he could feel for hours after they’re done.

“Always more,” she whimpers, legs wrapping weakly around his waist, pulling him deeper. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she yammers. “Feels so. Good,” she chokes on the last word, lifting her hips in desperation.

Lando is close to sobbing at this point, slamming into her, his control unraveling by the second. “Good girl. Gonna make you come so fucking hard you’ll feel me every time you blink.”

Her whines break into cries as he fucks her harder, each thrust hitting the exact spot inside her where she needs him most. His hand slips between them, fingers finding her clit, rubbing her in messy circles, just to see her fall prey to the pleasure that only he can give her.

“Yes,” she nods, her body keep moving on its own to meet his. “Yes, I’m so close. Don’t stop!”

He is far too hypnotized by the way she loses it under him, demanding more and more with each passing second. Lando’s hands move then to encircle her waist, squeezing gently before sliding higher up her ribs, and finally to her breasts. They don’t rest there for too long, though, as she grabs his wrists and moves them around her neck, pulling his face right above hers. Her legs tighten tighter around him, and her palm cups his ass cheeks, pressing him deeper into her.

“That bad?” he asks her, and all she can do is nod again, speechless. “Come on, then. Wanna feel you drench my—"

Lando can’t even finish his sentence as her moans get louder, a blinding pleasure tearing through her in waves, over and over again, too intense to hold back. She cries out, back arching, body shaking she squirts, soaking both of them.

“Ah, shit. Shit shit shit!” Lando’s voice is wrecked, his hips stuttering as he watches her welcoming the euphoria.

The sight, the feel of her pulsing around him, squeezing him so tight has the power to destroy him. He barely manages a few more thrusts before he breaks, burying himself deep, groaning as he spills inside her, warmth flooding her walls. His body shudders against hers, muscles tensing, pleasure rolling through him in waves just as endless as hers. His hands are holding on to her like she’s the only thing tethering him to the earth. And right now, she is.

For them, the time stops. They just breathe each other in, their bodies locked together, still vibrating. He can feel everything, from the soft rise and fall of her chest to the tiny aftershocks still making her pussy throb around him, pulling him deeper even though he’s already buried to the hilt. It makes Lando gasp softly, dragging his lips lazily over her jaw.

His fingers brush along her side once they manage to catch their breaths. “You okay?” Lando’s voice is low, lightly dipped in concern at her sudden silence.

She nods weakly, eyes snapping open, a satisfied little hum escaping her lips. “Okay,” she breathes out, lovingly tracing her fingers along his spine.

Lando smiles mischievously, “Okay.”

Before she can register what he’s doing, he grabs one of her legs and pulls it up, resting it over his shoulder, changing the angle entirely.

“The fuck?” her inquire is startled, but it quickly turns into something else the moment he starts moving, the new position making everything tighter, deeper. Heaven.

His grin is downright devilish. “Not done,” he informs her matter-of-factlty.

To that, Lando’s hands settle firmly back on her hips, pinning her in place before he draws back and thrusts into her measured at first, the kind of stroke that leaves her breathless.

Somehow, the finish line turns into a brand new start, and all she can do is brace for it.

“Oh, my—Lando!” her stomach twists, fingers grasping at nothing, forced to cling to the cushions because she can’t reach him like this. The position keeps her wide open for him, helpless, unable to do anything but take it.

Lando hums, his grip tightening. “You’re so fucking pretty like this. Spread wider for me,” he instructs. “Can you give me one more?”

She whimpers, barely able to think, let alone answer, as he starts pounding into her, his rhythm relentless. Every thrust knocks the breath from her lungs, her body struggling to keep up with the sheer intensity of it, but somehow excited and so willing to push the limits.

“Please,” it’s both a cry and a plea, but she doesn’t even know what she’s begging for.

“Obsessed with those pretty noises. Just take it, baby,” he breathes, driving into her, pressing a kiss to her temple.

His grip shifts then, spreading her even wider, forcing her open until there’s nowhere for her to run. His pace slows just for a fraction, not out of mercy, but because he wants to feel every inch of her hugging him, wants her to feel how deep he is, how there’s no part of her he isn’t claiming.

And then he sees it.

Right there, in the soft plane of her lower stomach. Every time he pushes in, there’s a faint, tantalizing bulge, proof of just how deep he goes; his brain short-circuits. The sight of it has him helpless, hunger twisting tight in his gut, making his cock twitch inside her.

“Fucking hell,” his voice is nothing but raw, shattered arousal. He can’t help himself, instinctively bringing his wide palm to press down on it, applying the slightest pressure, feeling himself inside her from the outside.

“Fuck’s sake, Lando,” her moans turn high, her body jerking as if there is no such thing as too much pleasure.

“You feel that, baby?” Lando’s eyes are wild, rolling his hips a bit slower now, pushing so far inside her that she swears she can feel him in her throat. “Feel how fucking deep I am?”

She nods, tears beading in the corners of her eyes, her hands clawing harder at the sheets because it’s too much.

His forehead falls forward, resting on hers. “Forgive me.”

A simple — yet not really — plea, wrapped in something devastatingly tender. It makes her stomach flip, makes her heart ache in a way that feels too big for her body. She clenches around him involuntarily, and he groans, his grip on her hips tightening.

Her leg slides down his waist, hands instantly flying around his back, pulling him impossibly closer, her lips brushing against his jaw as she nods. “Please, Lando…”

“I need you,” he says, “Need you by my side when I win. Need you by my side when I fuck up. When I’m flying so high it feels like I’ll never come down.”

The sweat blends with the smell and the desperation behind his confession, and somehow, the moment feels endless, even though both of them know it quickly approaches the end.

“Need you when it gets too loud, when I can’t tell what’s real and what’s just noise. Need you when I wake up, and when I go to sleep. Just… need my pretty girl that knows me better than anyone,” he praises, pressing his palm firmer against her stomach, feeling the way she squeezes him from the inside. “Need to fuck you like this every day, baby. To be the one that drives you mad. Please. Please, forgive me.”

His words send a shockwave through her, a moan ripping from her throat. Lando hisses, thrusting deep again, watching the way his cock bulges against his palm, and the way her body welcomes him with no resistance.

He is right there, balancing on the knife’s edge of pleasure, and it’s almost infuriating. His whole body shakes with the effort of holding back, but he can’t tear his eyes away from where they’re joined. The sight has his stomach tensing, his cock throbbing inside her. The slick glide, the way she clenches around him every time he grinds in deep, and the way her body drags him back in with every pull out it’s fucking unbearable.

“Baby, I can’t—” she drags him deeper into the heat of her release, her weak arms pulling him impossibly closer as if she’ll disintegrate without him.

That does it for Lando, shattering whatever control he has left. His rhythm stutters, his thrusts turning erratic as the pressure in his spine explodes.

“Fuck” he groans as his release bursts inside her, hot and thick, flooding her walls. His hips jerk against her as wave after wave crashes through him, his cock pulsing with every sharp, overwhelming aftershock.

But even as his body shudders with euphoria, even as his breath stutters against her throat, his hips keep moving.

“I’m sorry. So fucking sorry,” he rasps, pressing into her with hard grinds, still spilling inside her, his body demanding more. “Fucking hell, I can’t stop.”

She gasps, over-sensitive but still achingly wet for him, her body responding to every push, every deep roll of his hips.

“I know, I know,” she says, wrapping herself around him.

“Yes? Just a little more,” he begs, “Please, just let me feel you a little longer.”

His movements slow eventually, each thrust turning sluggish, drawn out, until he can’t physically move anymore. The last of his pleasure drains from him, leaving his body heavy, and utterly spent. Finally, he collapses on top of her, his face buried in the crook of her neck, breathing ragged, skin covered in a generous layer of sweat. His natural scent sends her home in an instant, and all she wants right now is for time to freeze in place.

She doesn’t say anything, just exhales softly and presses a kiss to his temple, then another to his cheek, her lips brushing over his damp skin. She moves tenderly, kissing his jaw, his eyelids, the bridge of his nose. He’s still inside her, still holding onto her like she’s the only thing keeping him grounded.

People talk about the quiet before the storm, but the quiet after is much more terrifying. It gives you time to see the destruction it left behind, and there’s nothing you can do but watch. She has always hated feeling powerless, and it’s only when she tilts her head, pressing her lips to his forehead, that she feels it. A warm, wet drop against her collarbone. Then another.

Her fingers still where they were stroking through his curls. “Lando?” she whispers, pulling back just enough to look at him, hoping that her suspicions will not come true. But that’s when she sees the raw emotion in his eyes, the way his brows are furrowed, the silent tears slipping down his cheeks.

He looks almost startled, like he hadn’t even realized he was crying. His chest rises and falls unevenly, his lips parting slightly as if he wants to say something, but nothing comes out.

She cups his face instinctively, her thumb catching a tear before it can fall, just like he did last night. “Lan…” she speaks a bit louder this time, “Look at me.”

He shakes his head in response, his hands gripping her waist like he’s afraid she’ll disappear again, this time for more than two months.

Lando presses his forehead to hers, closing his eyes, feeling more tears running down his cheeks, “Tell me it’s not too late for us,” he pleads, pulling back to finally meet her gaze. “Tell me I haven’t fucked this up beyond repair.”

Beneath the surface, the pain still lingers. But much deeper down, their bond is still knotted tightly, and even though the rope is taut, ready to snap at any small gust of wind, the fact that she’s still in his arms is enough for the rope to become the binder that holds them together. She can’t name the feeling without giving him everything all at once. Instead, she just brushes her nose against his.

“I think we both know the answer to that.”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ MASTERLIST . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Thank you for reading!

None of my works are available for reposting on other platforms. Reblogs, likes, and comments are deeply appreciated ♥︎

© trashy track tales, 2025

[malsmind]

𝘸𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴

this was bad. this wasn't something that ever happened to you. but the fact that it did happen, dreaming about someone who you haven't even had sex with like that, was horrible to you.

you felt bad, ashamed almost. but most of all, you felt so fucking desperate. desperate for someone who you were convinced would never touch you like he just did in your dream.

“yeahhh, that's a good girl. cmon you can do it.” matt whispered in your ear, his fingers moving fast, his lips on your neck, almost too much for you to handle as he talked you trough it the entire time. praising you, making you feel pathetic with his little whispers “such a needy girl, so desperate for my fingers, hm?” you moan, your grip on his wrist tightening as his fingers plunged in and out of you faster. “didn't give you a single thing, barely even touched you and now you're so close already. so pathetic.” a low chuckle left his lips, stopping his movements right as he felt your walls tighten, and heard your moans turn into gasps. “you know i can't give you more, angel.”

you continued where matt had left you. on the edge, wanting more, craving more.

you knew it was just a dream, a dirty little fantasy you felt ashamed for having. but it felt so real, and it was all you needed. your mind replayed the dream over and over, your fingers desperately working inside of you to get the orgasm you were denied in your dream.

“matt—” you whimpered, eyes squeezing shut, imagining it was his fingers inside of you. his hand squeezing your tits.

the way his lips felt on yours, his hands gripping your waist. you felt so embarrased, not just because of the way you lost control and kissed him in his car when he drove you home, but for the way you were touching yourself to the thought of him, to the man who never gave you more but cold, one word answers and leaving you looking like a fool for begging for his attention.

your teeth sunk into your pillow, muffling your moans as your orgasm crashed down on you. matt's name leaving your lips in small whimpers, wishing it was his fingers that made you cum.

and of course, matt was watching. he always was.

you just never knew.

dividers by @bernardsbendystraws <3

[atlantis-is-burning]

@globlingoober thank you for the tag!

As for my lore, I got a $1K tip from customer who was almost definitely, 100% a hit man.

I used to work a 3-9pm shift at a bar right after high school and I always had a customer come in at exactly 5:45pm every single afternoon. He told me his name was Peter (probably not real) and I'm guessing he was roughly 60 at this time (graying hair, beard, tattoos on his hands, etc) He was always extremely cordial and polite to me although I never heard him speak more than about 10 words in the entire time I worked at the bar.

He would come in every single day and order a single shot of Grey Goose vodka and a Heineken beer; he never deviated from this order and he never skipped a day at the bar so it got to the point where at around 5:40, I would get his shot and beer ready for him and have it sitting at the end of the bar where he always sat. He would come in, raise the shot glass to me, and then sit there in complete silence for about an hour and a half before he would stand, leave money on the bar, tip his hat to me and then leave.

No amount of small talk worked on him and aside from a few very short, often one-word answers, I never found out anything else about him. He was one of my favorite customers though and I always felt very safe in the bar with him and he would usually stay just long enough for my other coworkers to start coming in around 7pm. Once other people started to arrive, he would quietly slip out and I wouldn't see him again until the next day.

This went on for three full months without fail.

When I got into college I knew I would have to quit working at the bar (or at least adjust my hours) and I mentioned it to him in passing one day and he just sat there, very quiet as always, and then said "education is important, focus on that" and then he left. My last night there I told him I would miss him and that he'd always been a great customer and he smiled, held up his shot glass to me, and then passed me a stack of money. I figured it was just him paying for his drinks but when I went to the register and actually counted it, it was right at $1000. I went back to give him his change, assuming it was a mistake, but he was gone and I never saw him again.

I'm still friends with a few of my old coworkers and last year one of them sent me a message saying that they had seen a news article that "Peter" had been arrested for a contract killing and was awaiting trial in upstate New York. I tried looking him up but considering I don't know his real name and my coworker only saw his photo on an article behind a paywall (😑) I never found out anything else.

So yeah, that's how I got a $1K tip from a maybe/possibly/definitely hit man 😃

Tags: @babyseraphim @bundibird @forestpelt (you do not have to respond if you don't want to! 💙)

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[alohajix]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒂𝒑𝒆

Description: she said she wasn’t nervous. She said she'd never done this before. But then he walked in—and made her forget every lie she told herself. The Casting Tape — you only need to watch it once to come back for more.

Warnings: this one-shot includes explicit sexual content, including fingering, oral sex (M/F), face-fucking, rough grinding, dirty talk, praise kink, light choking, spanking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), and graphic language. Readers +18.

Words count: ~ 7K.

I understand you guys really enjoyed “First Time for Everything”. So here’s a new one-shot I've been working on for a while, featuring pornstar!harry once again.

please enjoyyy💕

*****

I almost didn’t walk through the door. It looked too normal from the outside—just a nondescript black building sandwiched between a vape shop and a custom auto wrap place. No sign. No logo. Just a metal door and a tiny keypad. I stood there for a full minute, staring at my reflection in the door’s narrow glass panel, wondering what the hell I was doing. My fingers fidgeted with the zipper on my hoodie as I debated bailing. But then I remembered rent. And how many hours I’d spent reading that post.

“Paid casting opportunity. Professional, safe, filmed. No pressure to continue. Just be yourself.”

So I buzzed in. A soft click, and I stepped inside. The air was cool, sterile, quiet. A short hallway led to a room that looked more like a YouTube set than anything porn-related—white walls, gray backdrop, soft box lights aimed at a plain black leather couch. A camera was already set up on a tripod, its little red light blinking lazily like it was waiting. There was no one else in the room, just a low table with a water bottle and a clipboard. I approached it like it might bite.

“Hey there,” a voice called from behind me—low, male, casual. “You can grab a seat. We’ll start in a second.”

I turned to find a guy with a headset leaning against the doorframe, sipping coffee. He looked more like someone who worked in tech support than adult film, and he barely glanced at me. That helped a little. I gave him a tight smile and sat down on the couch, tucking one leg under the other. The camera stared back at me. I wiped my sweaty palms on my denim skirt.

“You go by your real name or a stage name?” the voice asked.

I hesitated. “Stage name.”

He chuckled. “Smart. What should we call you?”

“…Lola.” I don’t know where it came from. I didn’t even know anyone named Lola.

“Cute,” he said. “Alright, Lola. We’re just gonna ask you a few questions. Keep your eyes on the camera, speak clearly, be yourself.”

I nodded once. The camera light turned solid red.

“Tell us how old you are and why you’re here.”

My voice came out a little too fast. “Twenty-two. I—uh—I heard about this through a friend of a friend. Thought it might be… interesting.”

“And have you done anything like this before?”

I forced a smile. “Not professionally.”

He chuckled again, friendly but disinterested. “Good answer. So—this is a soft casting. No pressure to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We just want to see how you come across on camera. If it feels natural, maybe we’ll try a short chemistry test.”

My stomach flipped. “Chemistry test?”

“With a partner,” he clarified. “Clothed or not. Touching or not. Totally up to you.”

I swallowed hard. “And who’s the partner?”

“Hey, man,” the guy said suddenly, glancing over my shoulder. “You mind stepping in for a quick test?”

I didn’t hear footsteps. I felt them. Slow. Heavy. Purposeful. And then I heard his voice.

“Yeah. I’ve got time.” I turned. And immediately forgot how to breathe.

He walked in wearing a black T-shirt and sweatpants, his hair tucked under a gray beanie, tattooed arms on full display. Calm. Comfortable. Like he belonged here. And when his eyes met mine—green, curious, knowing—I had to look away before I gave something away.

I knew who he was. Everyone who’s ever dipped into amateur porn knew who he was. He wasn’t just a pornstar—he was the pornstar. The one known for making people cry in the best way possible. The one who ruined girls for normal guys. The one I may or may not have watched the night I sent my application in.

“Hi,” he said softly, voice like silk. “I’m Harry.” Of course he was.

I tried to remember how to smile. “Hi.”

He looked me over—slowly, respectfully, but definitely. His gaze dragged from my hoodie to my bare thighs, then up to my lips before meeting my eyes again.

“You okay to keep going?” he asked. “Or just here to talk?” His tone was soft. Patient.

I bit my lip. I should’ve said no. I should’ve kept it simple. But the way he was looking at me… “Let’s try,” I said quietly.

His mouth curled into a half-smile. “We’ll go slow.”

He sat beside me on the couch, leaving just enough space between us that it felt intentional. His thigh brushed mine every time I shifted, and I wasn’t sure if it was on purpose—but I hoped it was.

The camera was still rolling. “You nervous?” he asked, his voice low and almost amused.

“A little,” I admitted. “You’re not exactly a nobody.”

He smiled at that—soft, slow, like he was letting the compliment soak into his skin.

“Well, I’ve done a few of these,” he said, tilting his body slightly toward me. “So if you want to stop at any point, you say the word. We good on that?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Safe word or something?”

“We can use red. If you want to pause, say yellow. But honestly? Just talk to me. I listen.”

God, that shouldn’t have made my stomach twist—but it did. His hand landed gently on my knee. Just a touch. Nothing dirty. But the weight of it made my heart skip.

“Can I touch you a little more?” he asked.

I swallowed and nodded. “Yes.”

He slid his hand up my thigh, slow and deliberate, until his fingers curled around the bare skin just beneath the hem of my skirt. His pinky brushed the side of my underwear. He didn’t move further. He just… held me.

“See? You’re already shaking a little,” he said, voice soft like a secret.

“I’m not,” I lied.

His thumb moved lazily across my thigh. “You are. That’s okay, though. Nervous is normal. But you look good nervous.”

I smirked despite myself. “Is that your line?”

“No,” he said, leaning in just a little. “That’s the truth.”

His other hand reached up, fingers playing with the zipper of my hoodie. He didn’t pull it down right away—he just watched my face.

“Can I?”

I nodded again. “Yeah.”

He tugged the zipper down, slow as hell. I didn’t wear a bra on purpose—I’d told myself it was about being comfortable, but I’d also known what kind of job this was. I’d wanted to feel like I was ready for it, even if I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. He pushed the hoodie off my shoulders, revealing my thin tank top underneath—white, ribbed, tight. My nipples were already hard beneath the fabric.

His eyes dropped for half a second. “Fuck.”

“What?” I teased.

“You’re hot.” His voice dipped lower, rougher. “Didn’t expect that.”

I grinned. “You didn’t look me up before this?”

He leaned closer, lips near my ear. “Didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

Fuck. That got to me. I shifted in my seat, squeezing my thighs together, and his hand didn’t miss it.

“You get turned on easily, don’t you?” he murmured.

“Only when someone says shit like that.”

He chuckled, and it vibrated straight through me. “Alright then. Let’s see how much you can take before we even get your clothes off.”

He turned to face me fully, his hand now resting between my thighs, thumb pressing lightly at the crease where leg met hip. I was still covered, but it felt dangerously intimate.

“Look at me,” he said. I did.

His hand moved to my waist, sliding under the hem of my shirt. His palm was warm on my bare skin, fingertips grazing my ribcage, tracing just under the curve of my breast. His thumb brushed upward, catching the edge of my nipple through the fabric—and I gasped, barely holding still.

“Sensitive?” he asked, eyes still locked on mine. I nodded, biting my lip.

He pinched lightly—just enough to make me jerk—and then soothed the spot with his palm.

“You’re already breathing like you’ve been at this for an hour.”

“Maybe I just like the way you touch,” I whispered.

He grinned again. “Yeah?”

His other hand cupped the back of my neck, fingers sliding into my hair as he leaned in. “I’m gonna kiss you now. Okay?”

I nodded. “Please.” And then he kissed me. Slow. Firm. One hand holding my jaw just right while the other teased under my shirt. His lips moved against mine like he had all the time in the world. He tasted like mint and something just a little bit sweet—god, it was unfair how good he was at this.

My mouth opened for him on instinct, tongue brushing his as he deepened the kiss. I whimpered before I meant to, and he smiled against my lips.

“There it is,” he murmured. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

He pulled me onto his lap. I didn’t even realize I’d moved until I felt his thighs beneath mine, the stretch of my skirt riding up, the thick press of him already hard beneath me.

“You wanna keep going?” he asked, hand splayed on my lower back.

“Yes.”

“You wanna keep your clothes on for now?”

I nodded again. “Let me stay like this.”

He gave a slow, approving nod. “Smart girl.”

I started to grind—tentatively, testing—and he held me tighter.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “That’s it. Just like that.”

His hands stayed on my waist, guiding me. My panties were soaked through already, and he hadn’t even touched me properly. His cock pressed up against my center through both layers, and the friction was delicious.

“Feel what you’re doing to me?” he whispered. I nodded. “Good. Don’t stop.” I didn’t.

I rocked against him slowly, rhythmically, trying to match the pace of his hands, trying not to let my moans get too loud. But the fabric was slick, and I was clenching around nothing, desperate for more. He leaned up to kiss me again, slower this time, while grinding back into me with little thrusts of his hips.

“You look so fucking pretty like this,” he whispered. “Using me to get yourself off. All clothed. So dirty, baby.”

God, baby—the way it rolled off his tongue nearly made me come.

“I wanna see you fall apart,” he said against my lips. “But not yet. Gotta take my time with you.”

I whimpered, hands clutching his shoulders. “Why?”

“‘Cause I want it to be unforgettable.”

I didn’t mean to drop to my knees. It just happened. One second, I was straddling him, moaning into his mouth, and the next, I was slipping down between his legs, hands trailing over his thighs like they belonged there. He didn’t stop me. Didn’t say a word—just leaned back on the couch and watched me with that slow-burning smirk, his chest rising and falling like he already knew what I was going to do next.

“You sure about this?” he asked, voice husky.

I nodded as I settled between his thighs, reaching for the waistband of his sweats. “You’ve been hard since I got here.”

His brow ticked up. “And you think that means you get to do something about it?”

I looked up at him, tilted my head innocently. “I know I do.”

He grinned. “Cocky.”

“I learned from the best,” I said, tugging his sweats down just enough to free him. And fuck.

I’d seen it before—on screens, in videos—but nothing prepared me for the way it looked up close. Thick, long, already leaking at the tip. Veins along the shaft. His entire body was unfair, but this? This was just cruel.

I wrapped my hand around him slowly.

“You gonna stare at it all day, or you gonna do something?” he teased.

I licked a long stripe from the base to the tip, just to shut him up. His breath caught.

“Mouth open,” he murmured. I obeyed, letting my tongue hang out as I stroked him slowly. He was heavy in my hand, warm and twitching, and when I finally took him into my mouth, I moaned like it was for me, not him.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned, his head tipping back. “You’re better than half the girls I’ve filmed with.”

I pulled back just enough to say, “That supposed to make me feel special?”

He looked down at me with a grin. “It should.” Then he shifted his hips forward a little, his hand slipping into my hair. “Hold still,” he said. “Let me fuck your mouth a little.”

I whimpered, nodding as he gathered my hair in his fist and guided me back down. His thrusts were slow at first, controlled, testing. He pushed past my lips and onto my tongue, letting me feel every inch. I hollowed my cheeks around him, drool already sliding down my chin. The angle made my throat ache—but I didn’t care. He watched every second.

“That’s it,” he praised. “Look at me. Eyes up. Fuck—just like that.” I moaned around him, and he groaned in return, gripping my hair tighter. “You like this?” he asked. “Being used a little?”

I blinked up at him, spit trailing from my lip to the base of his cock. “Yes.”

“How filthy are you, baby?”

I swallowed him deeper before answering. “Wanna choke on it.”

He smirked, that filthy edge sharpening in his eyes. “Greedy girl.”

He held my jaw and started to fuck into my mouth harder, sloppier. My mascara was running—I could feel it—and my knees were going numb, but I didn’t care. Not when he was groaning and panting above me, thumb wiping spit from the corner of my mouth.

“Open wider,” he growled. “Let me all the way in.”

I did. He pushed in until the tip hit the back of my throat, and I gagged—but he didn’t stop. He stayed there for a second, watching the tears spill down my cheeks before pulling back with a wet, obscene pop.

“Good girl,” he breathed. “Fuck, you���re perfect.” I blinked up at him, dazed and wrecked, lips puffy and slick. “You want me to come in your mouth?” he asked.

“No.” He raised a brow. “I want more than that.” He stared at me for a beat. Then he reached down, grabbed my arm, and pulled me gently to my feet.

“Take your clothes off.”

I hesitated, chest heaving. “All of them?”

“All of them,” he said softly. “Want to see what kind of mess I’ve made.”

I peeled off my hoodie first, even though it had already been unzipped. My tank top followed, sticky with sweat. Then my skirt. Then my panties—soaked, clinging to my thighs. His eyes drank me in.

“You’re soaked.”

“You made me like this.”

He stood up—slow, deliberate—and pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth, then my neck, then lower, until he was kneeling in front of me.

“You ever squirt before?” he asked, voice low.

I swallowed hard. “No.”

He smirked. “Might today.” Then he leaned in and dragged his tongue across my inner thigh.

He didn’t go for my pussy right away. Instead, he kissed every inch around it—my thighs, the crease of my hip, the patch of skin just above my mound. His hands wrapped around my legs, holding me steady as he took his time. The anticipation had my stomach fluttering, my cunt clenching around nothing, desperate to be touched.

“Please,” I whispered, shifting.

He looked up at me from between my legs, his lips shiny with spit. “Yeah?”

I nodded, breath shaky. “I—I need—”

He slid one finger up my slit, slow as hell. “You need this?” he asked, teasing my clit with the lightest touch. “Or my mouth?”

“Both.”

He grinned. “Good answer.” Then he dove in.

His mouth latched around my clit like he’d missed it, like he owned it. His tongue flicked and sucked, alternating between slow pressure and fast strokes that made my legs tremble. I cried out, one hand gripping the back of the couch, the other tangled in his hair. He moaned against me when I tugged, and I felt it vibrate through my whole body.

“F-fuck,” I gasped. “Harry—”

“You taste so sweet,” he muttered between licks. “Could stay here all day.”

He pushed two fingers into me while his tongue kept working, curling them just right. My back arched off the couch, a moan ripping from my throat so loud I was sure the mic picked it up.

“That’s it,” he said. “Let them hear how good I’m making you feel.”

I was already on the edge, too fast, too intense—and he knew it.

“You close?” he asked, sliding his fingers faster, deeper, hitting every nerve ending I had.

I nodded, gasping. “Yes—yes—fuck, don’t stop—” He stopped. Pulled back. Fingers still inside me, but barely moving. I whimpered. “Why—”

“Cause I want you to come on my cock, not my tongue.”

“Fucking mean,” I whispered.

He smirked. “You like it.” I hated how right he was.

He stood and kicked off his sweats fully this time, leaving him completely naked—tall, lean, toned. Tattoos stretched across his chest, down his arms. His cock was heavy and thick, standing up proudly, still slick from my mouth. He grabbed a condom from the table behind him—but I stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

“Don’t,” I said softly. His eyes locked on mine.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “I’m clean. On the pill. I want to feel all of you.”

His jaw clenched. “Fuck, you’re gonna ruin me.”

He climbed back onto the couch, pulling me into his lap again. This time, we were both naked. Skin against skin. He lined himself up with one hand, the other gripping my waist.

“Take it slow,” he murmured. I did. I sank down on him inch by inch, gasping at the stretch, the burn, the way he filled me up so deep I thought I might break.

He kept eye contact the whole time. “Look at you,” he said. “Taking it so well.”

I whimpered when I bottomed out, thighs shaking.

“So fucking tight,” he growled. “You weren’t made for this, were you?”

I moaned. “Maybe I was made for you.” That broke something in him.

His hands gripped my hips, and he started to move—slow thrusts upward that hit just right. I rocked against him, chasing friction, rolling my hips as he fucked up into me.

“Say my name,” he ordered.

“Harry.”

“Louder.”

“Harry.”

“Tell me how it feels.”

“So fucking good,” I gasped. “You’re so deep—fuck—it’s so good.” His hand came up to my throat, not squeezing, just holding.

“You’re gonna come like this?” he asked. “Like a needy little slut in my lap?”

I nodded frantically. “Yes—please, I need it—I need to come—”

“Then come.”

I shattered. The orgasm hit like a wave, crashing through me in pulses that left me crying out his name, clinging to him, hips still rocking even as I trembled. He held me through it, whispered praise into my ear.

“Good girl,” he breathed. “So fucking good for me.” But he wasn’t done. He flipped me over onto the couch, face-down, ass up. “Not finished with you yet,” he growled.

He slid back into me easily, grabbing my hips and fucking into me hard now—rough, deep, animalistic. My cheek pressed against the cushion, mouth open as he pounded into me.

“You want it rough?” he panted. “You want to feel how hard you made me?”

“Y-yes—fuck—yes—”

He slapped my ass, hard. “Say you love it.”

“I fucking love it.”

“Say who’s fucking you.”

“Harry—Harry’s fucking me—please don’t stop—”

He leaned over me, one hand tangled in my hair, the other holding my throat as he fucked me from behind. Skin slapping, breath ragged, everything filthy and perfect.

“Gonna come on you,” he groaned. “Wanna see you dripping.”

“Yes,” I begged. “Do it—please—come on me—”

He pulled out just in time, stroking himself fast before spilling hot all over my lower back and ass, groaning through gritted teeth. I lay there, trembling, dripping, wrecked. Breathing like I’d run a marathon.

He exhaled a long breath, letting it hang in the quiet between us. The only sound now was the soft hum of the camera still rolling. The red light blinked steadily, like it had witnessed every filthy, raw second of what just happened. Harry sat back, eyes scanning over me like he wasn’t sure if he was done yet—or just trying to memorize how I looked. Wrecked. Flushed. My hair a mess. My thighs still trembling.

“Stay there a sec,” he said, voice a little rougher than before.

I blinked up at him, cheek still pressed to the couch cushion, and nodded. He disappeared for a moment and came back with a warm towel. He didn’t rush—just knelt beside me, gently wiping me clean, taking his time like he actually cared. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was just good at playing the part. But something about the way his fingers grazed my skin, soft and unhurried, made my chest ache.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, gaze flicking up to mine.

I nodded. “Yeah. Just… that was a lot.”

A slow grin pulled at his mouth. “Good lot or bad lot?”

“Really good.”

He handed me the towel and stood up to grab water bottles. When he tossed one to me, I caught it with shaky hands.

“You looked like you’ve done that before,” he said, sitting down beside me again—close, but not touching.

“I haven’t,” I replied, twisting the cap off. “Not like that.”

He raised a brow. “You sure?”

I smiled. “Trust me. I’d remember if someone ever made me feel like that before.” He went quiet, watching me sip.

“You ever actually plan on watching the footage?” I looked at him. At the blinking red light still recording.

“I kind of want to,” I admitted.

He nodded slowly. “I’ll show you mine… if you come back and film another one.” I stared at him, half smiling, half stunned.

“You saying that to everyone who comes through here?”

“Nope.” He leaned in just slightly, voice lower. “Just the ones who moan my name like they mean it.”

I laughed, flushed, and shook my head. “You’re dangerous.”

He smirked. “Only on camera.” I didn’t believe that for a second. But I wanted to find out.

[asxgard]

Companionship | pt. 4

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x f!reader

Previous | Next

Summary: The lines of your agreement begin to blur with one simple word: sweetheart.

[ Series Masterlist ]

Note: Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, commented and/or followed me!! I truly appreciate each and every one of you💜(I’m screaming with joy on the inside)

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: age gap, alcohol, mild fluff, feelings, foul language, hospital stresses, some angst thrown in because what the hell, slowburn, they AWKWARD (I love them)/bad jokes, idk Robby’s a hockey fan because I could totally see that (baseball too)

not beta read

When one of your co-workers had asked you on a date the following week, you had turned him down. It had come as a surprise, not having said much more than pleasantries to each other when you passed in the hall. He was nice, attractive enough to have caught your attention before, but you told him you were not looking to date. Too busy, gotta focus on school, just not for me right now, were all valid reasons. Not because of Michael. Nope. That would be stupid.

You tried to remove yourself from getting too wrapped up in your imagination. Frankly, because it was making you incredibly anxious. You texted Erin and Marsi to hang out, to come study, to go out for brunch, anything to get you out of your apartment. You worked longer hours. You even joined a random study group with some other accounting majors.

You believed you had it all back on track just two weeks after your dinner. But it was hard to ignore the way your pulse quickened whenever he called. You kept telling yourself it was still the anxiety around the arrangement and not the person on the other end.

Michael called late one Tuesday, exhausted from his shift. You began to think that perhaps he did not enjoy returning to an empty, quiet apartment to be alone with his thoughts.

“Hey,” he said, voice low, rougher than usual.

“Long night?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked, laying down on your bed after changing into some pajamas.

He let out a long sigh, “Perhaps another time.”

You were smart enough to pick up on the deflection, but you hummed, “Sure.”

The silence that followed was deafening. You felt stupid for getting upset over his deflection, annoyed that it was likely just going to be another night you filled the void with your voice. Was it stupid and unjustified to get frustrated with him? More than likely. Did you feel that way anyways? Definitely. You kept trying to remind yourself you were both barely acquaintances, and this was exactly what you had signed up for.

“Can I ask you something?” You ventured, glancing at your nails.

“Shoot.”

“Why’d you become a doctor?”

There were several moments of silence as he digested the question, and you anxiously bit at the side of your nails.

“I wanted to help people.” He told you, but there was something in his tone that suggested it was just a reflex answer. In the quiet that followed, he cleared his throat, “It wasn’t easy. I was tested at every turn, still am. But it meant something. It mattered.”

Something so large went unspoken between you — I mattered. You did not dare speak on it.

“That’s very honorable.”

“Honor’s got nothing to do with it.”

“Well, I find that very honorable. Selfless.” You stressed, staring up at your ceiling.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment, “how was your day?”

Despite wanting to push, you realized that perhaps you had wandered into territory far too personal for your arrangement, which made your cheeks flare with heat. You found yourself wanting to get to know him more than was likely appropriate.

You launched into your day, discussing a few minor details about work and the new system they were slowly beginning to implement. You paused after he yawned, causing you to mirror it.

“Goodnight,” you said first, eyes heavy.

“Goodnight,”

—

It was easily your busiest day all month. Between onboarding a bunch of new employees, cashing out a handful of ones that had quit, studying for an exam, a project and a few prior commitments to hang out with your friends, you were stretched thin. You left your apartment early and were not set to return until late.

Hunger ate away at your stomach as lunchtime came and went without stopping to eat. Thankfully you had left a granola bar in your desk drawer, but it did little to satisfy you.

After clocking in overtime, you left the office just after 6 — moving into your car and finally taking a breath. You quickly went through a handful of notifications, before finding a text from Michael timestamped at 2:23.

Can we talk tonight?

You debated it. You wanted to, but you still had things to do and you were starving.

Raincheck?

I had the busiest day and I haven’t been able to eat yet.

Your phone buzzed with an alert not even a moment later, while you sat still in your car, trying to take a moment for yourself.

We could grab food instead?

. . .

New Thai place opened up near me

Your stomach grumbled, making up your mind for you. Smiling to yourself and deciding the last details of your project could be edited the following morning, you agreed, asking for the address.

You were far too hungry for the nerves of seeing him again to invade — instead trying to freshen up with the aid of your sun visor mirror and whatever you could find in your bag. Lipgloss and a tiny bottle of perfume were going to have to make it work. You studied your reflection, and tried to fix your hair as much as you could given the circumstances.

The Thai place was busy, which considering they had only just opened, should have been expected. You found a parking space near the back and sent a text to let Michael know you had arrived.

Smoothing out your work slacks and blouse once you were out of the car, you pulled your blazer tight — the evening having grown chilly. You saw Michael waiting near the front door, dressed in jeans and a casual zip-up sweatshirt, a festival t-shirt peeking through.

You smiled as you approached, “Hi.”

He smiled in return, taking you in, putting his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. “Hi.”

You glanced in the window to see how busy the place was and your stomach protested.

“They said the wait to sit down was likely going to be an hour,”

You frowned, glancing around at the other buildings on each side of the street.

“There’s a Chinese place just a block away, we could try that?” He offered.

“Do you mind?” You asked quietly, bringing your arms across your body. “I’d still like to check this place out, but I don’t think I can wait that long.”

He smiled easily, “Not at all.”

You stepped into pace with him, heading down the sidewalk towards the Chinese restaurant. You were away from the more central part of Pittsburgh, but traffic still whizzed by, undisturbed by the darkening skies.

“Did you work today?” You asked, peeking at him from the corner of your eye.

“No, but I have a swing shift tomorrow. Haven’t had to work one of those in awhile, but we’re short staffed.” He explained with a tiny shrug.

You absorbed the new information. “You usually work days?”

“Normally, yeah. Sort of a perk of…my job title.” He chuckled.

Part of you wanted to ask what exactly that title was, but realized it would likely give away too much information. From everything you knew about his job, it definitely seemed like he worked in a hospital as opposed to a clinic or private practice — ICU perhaps? Emergency room? Curiosity ate away in your mind, picturing him in a white lab coat, but you tried to shake off the thought.

He held the door open for you, and you stepped into the restaurant, taking it in. The smell of food was overwhelming until it was all you could consider, your stomach making it painfully obvious how empty it was. You took note of the vending machines against the wall and the two tables — both occupied. You turned back to him and watched as he noticed the lack of seating as well.

“We could just get take out,” he said, eyes meeting yours. “My place is just a few blocks away.”

You swallowed, and genuinely considered it. You were far too hungry to try someplace else and you turned to look at the menu. Fuck it.

“That was—that was forward of me. I didn’t mean—just so we have a place to sit down and eat. We can—”

You looked up at him and smiled, “No, that’s fine. Killing me would be so hypocritical of the whole ‘do no harm’ thing.”

He blinked and your face instantly heated, digesting your own words.

“That was a terrible joke, oh my god—”

He laughed. He laughed.

All your fears washed away at the sound of it, and you smiled sheepishly before turning towards the counter at the end of the restaurant.

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a breath, grin still stretched across his face, “I wasn’t laughing at you.”

“No! I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to insinuate—”

He waved off your concern, moving towards the counter. “No harm done.”

You both ordered, and you got your usual and Michael ordered orange chicken — but you both moved to pay. You stared down at each of your cards, catching just a glimpse of his full name on the front — Michael C. Rob — the rest covered by his thumb. You glanced at his face.

His brown eyed gaze was on you, too, holding steady for several beats of your heart, and it took the sigh from the woman behind the counter for you to move again.

“I got it.” He said.

“Thank you.” You whispered, putting your card back into your wallet.

The woman informed you it would just take ten minutes, much to your relief. You moved off to the side and leaned against the wall to wait, Michael leaning next to you. It was a small space, filled with the sounds from the kitchen seen behind the counter, and the light conversation from the five other people sitting down.

Thoughts moving from your hunger and the food, you absorbed the information that he lived near here. It was a considerably nicer part of Pittsburgh, you knew you could never even afford a studio in the area, but it made sense. He had money — he had money to burn, considering your monthly stipend.

The walk back to his place after you had collected your food was quiet, and you savored the sound of his street — off the main streets, it was nice. You had long grown used to the white noise of cars outside your window in your own apartment.

There was a doorman when you arrived at his building, and you craned your neck to look up at it. Red brick and large windows, and your shoes clacked! on the clean tile once you were through the main door. It was immaculate, and gave you the sudden intrusive thought that you did not belong. It worked up your throat like bile and you turned your eyes to the floor.

You took the elevator up with him to one of the top floors, and you stared at yourself in the mirror on either side of the elevator. His reflection watched you, until the elevator doors opened. The hallway was empty and quiet, and you reflexively reached for the takeout bag so he could get his keys.

21B

His apartment was beautiful. Even before he flicked the lights on, you knew — late evening light spilling in from the windows along the far wall. It was an open floor plan, his front door opening into his living room with a tiny entryway. His kitchen was laid on the right side, with a quaint dining room set up, large windows and a door to a balcony. There was an archway that led to a hallway along the wall to your left — presumably to his bedroom and bathroom.

The brick accents did wonders for the space, and the furnishings were modest. Not fancy or flashy, but clearly not second-hand. There was something distinctly lived in about the space, a discarded book on the end table and scattered coasters on the coffee table. There was a dip on the L-shaped couch, a favorite spot undoubtedly, with the remote haphazardly discarded on one of the cushions.

He removed his shoes in the entryway, and you followed his lead before you followed after him.

“I don’t have much in terms of drinks,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh, I’ve got water and iced tea…wine, I also have wine.”

You smiled at him, placing your bag on the granite countertop. “Water’s just fine, thank you.”

He nodded, putting the takeout bag next to the sink, when he reached into one of the cabinets to get a glass. While he sorted through the bag, and got your drink, you wandered over to the windows, glancing at the city sprawled out before you, the sunset burning behind the buildings. The sky was a fine array of oranges and reds, and you found you loved the view.

Michael cleared his throat behind you, making you jump. He smiled sheepishly, handing you the glass of water. You took it with a smile of your own and sipped it.

“You have a really nice place.” You found yourself saying, still looking over the walls and wood finishes.

“Oh, thank you.”

You walked back into the kitchen with him and followed his lead bringing your food into his living room. You glanced at his dining table, but did not question it — not being able to argue to sit down on a very comfortable looking couch after you had been running around all day.

You both began eating with a Penguins game in the background, and you did your best to be polite and not inhale your food.

“Did you want to talk about your day?” He asked after a few bites of his orange chicken.

You looked over to him, swallowing a mouthful of food. “Me?”

He looked amused, “You.”

You blinked, “I mean, aside from it being an incredibly long and busy day, there’s not much to say. A shitshow, but hey, that’s showbiz, baby.”

The corners of his lips rose into a grin, “Yeah? I didn’t know accounting and show business were related.”

You held up your hand and crossed two of your fingers, “Incredibly intertwined. You could play ‘pick the narcissist’ with either profession, and you’d be right either way.”

Michael laughed, “Run into a lot of those today?”

You shrugged, but your lips were inching upward, “Without delving into company secrets, yeah, my boss can be a bit of a megalomaniac. It’s all a numbers game, even at the price of employee satisfaction. There’s been a high turnover rate recently.”

Michael nodded like he fully understood what you were talking about. “Have you considered leaving?”

“Frequently. Once I graduate, for sure. Only a few more months.” You chewed a bite of your food, the hunger in your stomach ebbing away, “How has work been for you?”

“Admin has been on my ass,” he told you, eyes flickering to the tv and back to you. “Patient satisfaction scores, you know?”

“You have satisfaction scores?” You asked incredulously, confusion knitting your brows together. “That sounds like some shit they do for a fast food chain.”

He gestured wildly with his hands, “That’s what I said.”

“I mean, sure, satisfaction is important in any industry — but that wouldn’t be my main concern in a hospital environment. How is employee satisfaction?”

“Down,” Michael said with a frown. “Understaffing is a big problem. Nurses, attendings, techs, you name it. Wait times are high, and I just don’t have the staff to bring it down.”

“Damn,” you breathed out, “I guess I can’t say I’m surprised, especially not after the pandemic.”

He looked down into his food, nodding, “The pandemic hit us hard. There’s definitely a distinct difference in life before and life after for most of us.”

You watched him, noticing the smallest wince in his cheek at the mention of it. And to think just the other week that I had been thinking how nice it had been to work from home. You swallowed your guilt with the last bite of your food, noticing how the mood shifted.

Your knees brushed when he turned his eyes back to the television, a faraway look in his eyes. You bumped his knee purposefully the second time, gaining his attention.

“I don’t know how to help you, or even if I can, or if you even want me to. But I’m always here if you want to talk, or if you need a distraction.” You offered with a small smile.

His face relaxed at that, “And that’s enough, sweetheart, thank you. Being able to talk, or think about anything else has been incredibly helpful.”

While you absorbed everything he said, the word sweetheart bounced around in your head, making your palms clammy.

“Of course, yeah,” you looked away from him, unable to hold his gaze.

“I mean it.” He said, gaining your full attention, “Thank you.”

A genuine smile appeared on your face, soft and gentle.

Hours passed with simpler conversation, both your attentions on the hockey game. But you would be lying if you said you missed the way his touch lingered on your skin, or how warm his body felt next to you, throwing your thoughts in a frenzy.

You were thankful that he was talking about simple, mundane things, because you were having a hard time focusing on it. You felt like a stupid hormonal teenager sat next to him, stuck in your own head rather than the moment.

When the game ended at a brutal 3-0 against, you could not help but yawn.

“I should probably call it,” you said, glancing at the time on your phone.

He nodded, moving to sit up, rolling his shoulders with the softest groan that short-circuited your brain. He held his hand out to you and you took it, gathering your scattered thoughts, trying to remember to grab all your things.

“Let me walk you to your car.” He said, putting on his shoes.

“You don’t have to do that—”

“Well, I’m going to anyway. It’s late and your car is several blocks away.”

You grabbed your bag, cheeks heating, “Alright.”

Once outside, you absentmindedly looped your arm with his, his hands in his sweatshirt pockets. Neither of you spoke on it, his eyes only lingering on your face for a few short seconds. You enjoyed the warmth of his body, pressed into his side — the thoughts in your head momentarily quieting.

You felt like the walk to your car had been far too short as opposed to the walk to his place, and it took a moment to finally let go of him.

“Thank you for walking me.” You said, looking at him. “I had a good time tonight.”

“I did, too. Spontaneous. It was good.”

Nodding in agreement, you stepped toward your car. “I’ll let you know when I get home?”

“Yeah,” he smiled softly at you. “get home safe.”

You parted with a lingering goodbye.

—

It had only been a few days since you had heard from Michael, though that wasn’t uncommon. Part of you felt antsy about it — fingers itching to send him a message or call to check in on him. You felt foolish, a tiny part of your brain aching to connect with him. Every time the thought crossed your mind, you pushed it back down, desperate to discard it. He wasn’t looking for connection — that was the exact opposite of what he was looking for.

Sweetheart echoed in your head even now, the rough timber of his voice burrowing deep, making your heart flutter.

Huffing a long sigh, you focused back on your report, but your eyes seemed to look straight through the screen like it wasn’t even there.

When your phone buzzed, you quickly reached for it. You tried not to feel the disappointment flood through your system at the text from Marsi.

I had the worst day. Let’s go out tonight?

You pursed your lips, debating it. It surely would get your mind off a certain someone, and maybe even help you get your thoughts back on track.

Please

You sent back.

—

The bar was pretty busy. It had been a long time since you had been out on a Friday night. Marsi clearly had been through it, her numerical analytics presentation for her computer science masters had gone terribly when she had misunderstood a pretty large part of the project. She had the weekend to correct it — the professor not wanting to fail her.

But she had needed a night off, and you decided a night off would be good for you, too. It was nice. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

Marsi ordered shots, downing hers as quickly as it came. You hesitated, staring at the clear liquid. You debated it, but then decided a shot and a drink wouldn’t throw off your weekend too much.

“Alright, you’re so off. Spill.”

Your eyes went wide, looking back to your friend. “What are you talking about?”

“That! That look right there.”

You pursed your lips and frowned, sipping your drink. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Is it a guy?” When she received no immediate answer, she continued, “Oh jeez, did he find out about that sugar daddy thing?”

“No! What? No, of course not.” Speaking quickly, you turned her eyes away from your friend, hoping she wouldn’t notice you flustering. “There’s no guy.”

Marsi did not look even slightly convinced, narrowing her eyes over her jack and ginger. “You suck at lying.”

Flustered, you tried to change the subject. “Did you catch the Penguins game last night?”

“What?” Marsi laughed, “Don’t try to change the subject!”

“There’s no guy.” You huffed, stressing your words.

She quirked an eyebrow, “I don’t believe you. Is it a taboo thing? Is it a co-worker?”

You tried to quiet your friend, hushing her. Give it to Marsi to see right through you. At least it’s not Erin, your mind commented.

“Professor?” Marsi shooed away your hands, “Jeez, stop that!”

“What? Ew, no!”

“Oh fuck.” Marsi said after a moment's realization. “Is it the sugar daddy?”

“No!” You protested quickly, too quickly, before adding with your nose scrunched and face ablaze, “Don’t call him that,”

Marsi groaned, “Jesus. Didn’t Erin warn you about that?”

You tried to collect yourself, taking a deep breath to steady your heart, your thoughts hazy from the questions. “Please don’t get it twisted. It’s not like that.”

Marsi gave an unconvinced hum, sipping her drink. “Do you wish it was?”

“I don’t—I—uhh—no!” You closed your eyes tight, leaning your head back trying to stifle your annoyed groan. You looked back at your friend, “No.”

Marsi was quiet, watching you closely.

“Look, I don’t want that. He’s nice. I enjoy talking with him, but that’s it. It’s not complicated like that.” You told her, gulping the last of your drink.

“Whatever you say,” Marsi waved off. “That guy across the bar has been eyeing you up for the last ten minutes. Maybe you should get laid.”

Your face burned, not even bothering to check. “I’m not into one-night stands.”

“I’m sure that’s the reason you haven’t looked.” Marsi said with a smirk.

You groaned in frustration. “Can you just drop it?”

“Sure, sure,” she sipped her drink. “You’re awfully flustered for it being something that’s not complicated.”

“Please.”

When you opened your eyes, Marsi was frowning at you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push.”

You sighed, “Thank you. I just don’t want a lecture right now.”

Marsi nodded, “You’re right, we came out to have fun! Let me tell you about this—”

Your phone buzzed on the bartop, Michael’s name lighting up your screen. Marsi’s eyes flickered from the tv above the bar to your phone to your face. She gave a wry grin.

Exasperated, ignoring the butterflies in your gut, you grabbed your phone. “I don’t wanna hear it.”

Marsi laughed, “I didn’t even say anything!”

You gave her a dry look, “I’ll be right back.”

You were out of your seat, moving quickly towards the entrance of the bar. Your heart picked back up, worry ebbing into your excitement. He never called this late without warning you first.

Not wanting to risk missing his call, you answered, “Hold on.” You moved out onto the sidewalk, moving until you were under the streetlight. “Hey.”

“Am I interrupting? I’m sorry—”

“No, no. Is everything alright?”

“I just wanted to—I thought—” Michael sighed. “I just wanted to talk.”

“Oh.”

“I shouldn’t have called, you’re clearly busy,”

“I want to talk to you, too.” You said, I wanted to talk to you all day went unspoken.

“Oh.”

You smiled gently, staring down at your feet, ‘I’m just not home yet. Can I call in like an hour?”

“Please do.”

—

“So…night out…uh, solo?” He asked after you greeted each other.

Was that jealousy in his tone? No, it couldn’t be.

“Yeah, one of my friends really needed it,” you explained, kicking off your shoes and moving into your bedroom. “She had a bad day.”

“Oh.”

“I’m glad to be home now,” You said, removing your dress, placing him on speaker. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hanging out with her. Just Friday nights out aren’t always my thing, not much anymore, anyway.”

“I get that,” he said, his tone raspy. “I wanted to check in about work. I know the last week has been stressful for you.”

You pulled a pajama top over your head. “Some of the new staff is picking up the slack, I just hope they don’t leave before I do.” You chuckled.

He let out a breathy laugh.

You crawled into your bed, stretching out with a long yawn. “Admin still up your ass?”

“More than usual, yeah.”

It did not take long into your conversation for the light snoring on the other end to start, indicating that Michael had fallen asleep. His soft breaths in and out brought a comfort to you, enjoying the simplicity of him. Instead of ending the call, you placed your phone on the nightstand next to your head.

Closing your eyes, you laid back on your pillow and went to sleep.

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