#i know drinking in this kind of mood isnt great. but listen lmfao it's better than me [redacted]. lesser of two evils and all.
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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Really is a coping kinda night huh lmao
#speculation nation#negative/#im not going to sit outside. im not going to do anything productive.#bc if i do i might just [redacted]#im going to go home. im going to eat. and then im going to do whatever my cursed little heart desires.#be it video game or drink myself stupid#ykno it's kinda funny that i have therapy tomorrow morning. i almost want to cancel.#it's supposed to be just general problems discussion. i dont even know this woman yet.#but im having. erm. secondhand response i guess#probably also having to do with personal stress with dnd group problems and imminent project due AND having to take on Even More hours#but im also like. it's a secondhand horror kind of thing. hearing about it and seeing people i know deal with it#and working to take on some of the burden for them bc theyre fucking traumatized like hell im going to make them work#and just... hearing about it in general. the knowledge that it happened. the aching empathy for what theyre going through.#it's got me all kinds of fucked up lmfaooo#im being bombarded on multiple sides rn and this really fucking sucks#couldnt have been a worse time for this to happen. bc i STILL have my fucking project & presentation due next week#i know drinking in this kind of mood isnt great. but listen lmfao it's better than me [redacted]. lesser of two evils and all.#sorry i keep talking about this here but it's kinda genuinely life disrupting. & very thoroughly disturbing.#and i cleaned the fucking fryer filter today. worst day for me to do that too. but it needed done.#too much stress not enough release. i really wish i could cry about it.#but nooo i have tear ducts of the desert. no emotional release for me lmfaoooo#at least i have food. im gonna eat plenty and take care of myself. it's the least i can do to try to make things okay.#alcohol ment/#continuing being vague about what happened but it's something that's wormed its way into my brain#dont have to experience it myself for the knowledge of it to negatively affect me. such is the reality of someone with Bad Brain.#wild to hate someone so much who ive never met and is already dead. you total piece of shit. i hope you rot in hell.
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