#i knew this would end up an essay but jfc this ended up as an ESSAYYYY

[bravevolunteer]

SCOOPED MICHAEL — THE MASTERLIST

A compilation of headcanons detailing the scooping, its physical and mental effects, and how Michael manages it. Meant to function as a guide/archive with answers to the most common questions. Warning for descriptions of body horror / gore ( primarily in the first two sections ), as well as mentions of dissociation, suicidal ideation, and theoretical substance use.

THE SCOOPING / ENNARD / REMNANT

Upon being lead to the Scooping Room during his final night at Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental, Michael was met with the room's namesake: a device designed to destroy animatronics and pull out their endoskeletons. Stood directly in front of it, its excavating arm easily tore through Michael's flesh when it went off.

The first wound was the most brutal, tearing a large gash from Michael's naval all the way up to his sternum, the primary entry point located between the ribcage and pelvis. The machine began to pull out his organs ( though they did have to be removed in pieces ), before jerking back and leaving Michael slumped against the opposite wall. He was only conscious for a few moments afterwards, just enough to feel the excruciating pain and look down at the blood and viscera spilling out before everything went dark.

Since the Scooper wasn't built for human disembowelment, it was not a clean removal. Ennard either likely had to use it again a couple times or manually pull out the excess in order to crawl inside. Michael is left with all his internal organs removed and a heavily damaged ribcage, along with all additional damage from Ennard using him as a skinsuit.

The scooper contains a remnant injector, which was administered to Michael from the machine's reservoir when it made contact. While his body sustains sufficient damage, this is what keeps him from dying.

While Michael is alive when Ennard pilots him, he is not necessarily conscious OR entirely unaware. He exists in a sort of in-between state, fluctuating through varying levels of awareness. As a result, he does have memories of this time, but they are incredibly blurry and disjointed. What he remembers most is the feeling of it rather than specific moments: watching his own body move without his control, the different entities inside him fighting to take over.

The amount of time that Ennard is in control is left open— based on the regular pace of human decay, it would likely be at most two weeks before existence became unbearable, but this can be slowed due to remnant.

Ennard leaving his body was equally messy— they emerged primarily through his chest as well as his mouth ( leaving significant tearing on the side of his face ), coming out a gruesome amalgamation of wires, eyes, and blood.

Michael wakes on the sidewalk, fully in control of himself. The remnant keeping him alive is best described as Michael essentially possessing his own body— he still has a grasp on some senses, as damaged as they are, but he is technically using himself as a husk about as much as Ennard was.

APPEARANCE:

When Ennard leaves his body, it has significantly decayed. The state of his appearance is reflective of actual decomposition stages, however it tends to linger somewhere between due to the strange grey area he exists within. The decay eventually exists in a state of mostly stagnation.

His skin gradually discolors to a pale, purplish shade. It's not literally bright purple, but closer to extremely pale with purple undertones, similar to this shade pre-advanced decay ( image depicts drawn stages of decomposition )

He looks sickly: his face is sunken and seems hollow with noticeable eyebags. He keeps his hair due to the slow pace at which it tends to decompose normally, but it thins out and he will lose some ( if that becomes noticeable, he'll eventually get a wig ).

Injuries / scars : Largest is the gash from the scooper. While that wound doesn't actively bleed, it never really heals and stitches tend not to hold, leaving him with the hole in his chest exposing what's left of his bones and insides. Deep gash on right cheek exposing teeth ( from Ennard's exit ). Assorted scars across his torso, limbs, and face. Gashes in areas where Ennard would poke out that he has to actively keep stitched up.

The wounds that he keeps stitched do tend to reopen, either when he's in rough physical circumstances or just when it's been awhile, requiring Michael to replace them himself. He's definitely also had to stitch back on a finger or two.

As an unruly amalgamation of wires, there are some pieces of Ennard that were left behind. Mostly stray wiring lodged in his body. It doesn't cause problems as much as it's simply there, but it does sort of help to hold his mess of leftover internal parts in place.

Michael puts in significant effort to hide these aspects of his appearance in public. He wears clothing that covers most of his body, frequently layers, usually wears a jacket ( this is the black trench coat scooped Michael agenda ). All clothing has a dark color palette to avoid drawing attention to himself.

He'll also wear accessories to conceal parts of himself that clothes don't: gloves, hats, sunglasses, cloth masks

Underneath the clothing, he usually has bandages wrapped around sensitive areas on his arms and legs, occasionally some on the side of his face. This both prevents him from worsening any injuries and hides them should his clothes not be enough.

Will sometimes use makeup: not a significant amount, just enough to make his face appear a more humanlike shade

PHYSICAL:

Michael experiences constant chronic pain— this eventually becomes his default state to the point where he's learned to function within his limits, but it was a difficult adjustment. The intensity fluctuates depending on circumstances. Pain is most common around around his chest/ribcage area and during extended periods of standing or walking. He does have to move or stretch, though, or else the pain will come from stiffness in his limbs.

Although he doesn't always require them to walk, Michael will sometimes use a mobility aid. He has a straight cane with an orthopedic handle and two forearm crutches that he picks between depending on needs and location, but they both reduce strain and make movement easier.

The oldest Michael possibly is when scooped is 25, though the default placement is around 23. Therefore, he is still physically that age, just decayed.

Eat and drink: Michael is unable to eat or drink anything, as he doesn't have the necessary functioning to process food. His sense of taste and smell is dulled as well. He does still chew gum often, as it's harmless and provides a small sense of normalcy.

Substance use: Obviously cannot drink alcohol either ( no liver ) and smoking/drugs would have no effect. He can technically try, but with no lungs any inhalants would simply... pass right through him. Swallowing doesn't work for the same reasons he can't process food. Snorting is technically viable but his brain functioning makes the effect debatable and the risk of further damaging his body is high.

Sleep: Not required, he doesn't get any benefits from it but he CAN still sleep. When he does, it's usually to pass the time since there's only so much he can do ( more common in intense depressive episodes ). He does still experience constant nightmares, though, which usually makes the experience more of a hassle than it's worth. Ultimately, he has a similar sleep schedule to when he was alive, disjointed and chaotic.

Breathing: Not required, no lungs. He no longer breathes "by default," though it took some time for that instinct to fade. It kicks back in during moments of distress where he'll breathe raggedly/gasp for air he doesn't need, the attempt to catch his breath is entirely mental ( can be seen in 3/PS ). He will also intentionally breathe sometimes as a more human response/familiar motion.

Temperature: He's always cold, no longer able to feel warm temperatures much. The cold doesn't necessarily bother him much, either, it feels like a neutral state. This does help when it comes to wearing layers.

Michael does still bleed... in a way. Blood isn't constantly being pumped through his body anymore, but whatever's left will leak out of certain injuries when they reopen ( more likely in forearms and legs due to livor mortis ).

He's unable to cry, as his tear ducts no longer produce the fluids for it. He sure can feel like it, though.

Biggest weakness is extreme heat. It neutralizes remnants' effects, which is why burning is the method used to free the trapped souls/himself.

External damage to his body won't kill him, but invulnerability to death doesn't mean it'll heal. This is why the animatronics still pose a real threat to him: being stuffed into a suit would destroy his body even more and he would simply go on to possess that instead. He'd rather deal with the existence he's adjusted to.

MENTAL:

In addition to his onslaught of pre-existing mental health issues, Michael develops depersonalization-derealization disorder. While he had experienced dissociative symptoms before, the intensity and frequency at which they occur increases. This is rooted in his body being piloted against his will, the disconnect between his mind and what he sees in the mirror, and the isolated experience from floating between life and death.

He will often feel as if he's watching himself from outside his own body, numbness— fundamentally disconnected from his thoughts, feelings, body, and surroundings. He also has a warped sense of time caused both by dissociation and existing in isolation for so long.

When he isn't simply numb, the state he lives in amplifies his constant exhaustion, loneliness, and depression. The emotional pain dulls into dejected acceptance over time, but nothing necessarily eases the loss.

Michael continues to survive solely based on his drive to put everything to an end by killing his father and freeing his victims, both out of empathy and a desire for atonement. He doesn't have a will to live anymore outside of that, which is why he maintains that he'll burn with them.

LIFESTYLE:

Michael Afton has been legally recognized as a missing person since his last night at the warehouse. Michael does not try to combat this ( letting the government know what happened to him doesn't strike him as a great idea! ) and instead works within these lines. He uses multiple fake identities over the years to get apartments, bank accounts, and jobs. Sticking around Fazbear Locations and housing that doesn't have many qualms around shady practices makes it easier.

While he did have to put significant effort into learning how to forge documents... he's more inclined to bullshit things around Fazbear since he knows it'll work anyway. This shows in his tendency to make up aliases on the spot, which he's never been that good at coming up with ( Mike Schmidt, for example )

Although Michael has his aforementioned methods of disguising himself, he primarily lives in isolation to lower the risk of anyone catching on. He is either at home or at work, not much else between, and he tends to be incredibly secretive at the jobs where he does get the chance to interact with others.

He has a handful of stories he switches between to excuse his unconventional appearance: burn victim, claiming to have a "rare genetic disease," pretending to be a germaphobe ( to explain the clothes ), or simply pretending there's nothing weird about it.

[thurisazsalail]

I’m tired of ‘leftist’ anti-intellectualism and America-centric xenophobia posing as liberalism.

Protip: If you are anti-academia on subjects of culture not being taught by someone genetically from that culture, even if they know nothing about the culture they are talking about and have never participated in it and were never raised with it... over someone who actually does have a background in knowledge from people of that culture who lived in it and were raised in it... you might actually be the imperialist you are talking about fighting against. You might actually be silencing the people you think you are elevating through deplatforming actual sources from the cultural background talked about, artificially holding up someone with the right genes but no heritage or ties. You might want appearance over substance to be a “good person.” Rethink your views on academia. Think critically. What sources is a person using? Does a person talk about Africa like it's a country and not a continent (ew), or does the person have a list of resources about specific cultures as spoken about by the people from those cultures? Do they make effort in finding anyone from that culture to present or speak in class, if possible? Do they show videos of those people, which are not denigrating to them? Did the person work hard to find resources for you in a language you understand, or did they work to translate for you? Or are their resources some old white dude from 200 years ago, like using the Budge translations for (ancient) Egyptian? Did they quote Fiona Graham or Liza Dalby on geisha? Because of those people is a damn liar who took a fucktonne of money and prestige from an ailing geisha house and ran, and one actually trained as an anthropologist who spent time in Pontocho, where they knew exactly what she was there for and they suggested she debuted as a geisha to better understand them. Does the person gloss over issues like war or genocide? Or do they say, "Yeah, we should probably talk about that. In fact, you can use some example from recent history to understand the attitudes a bit better. Here they are, and here are some differences. Here are some further reading (and if available, video) sources, including from the groups that got really fucked over." If you SAY you are into historybounding (taking historical elements in your wardrobe and making it ‘new’ fashion) and you want to make the frilly French dresses and the London fog coats, but don't ever want to talk about how people eventually used the Versailles floors as a latrine because of the decadence and wanton wealth they collapsed into... and how the common people suffered because of it... Or how England discriminated against it's own people heavily, relegating Jewish English people to certain neighbourhoods or refused jobs to them, or treated the Moorish-descent like shit, or actively would beat the Irish in public and stole their land... you might not be into history or culture. You might just like looking at the pretty things and copying them. You know. Probably culturally appropriating (if not borderline doing so). Not just "history bounding." People in a marginalised group often have to learn things about our own groups’ history, or else we might see "Stonewall" and believe that a white guy threw the first brick, or that "queer" is a slur. Our own people, gasp, might have to learn from... academia. And strangely, I know, it's so weird, but some of the people who teach... use primary sources (that’s sources from the time/place/people the source talks about, like Gay Manifesto written by gay man Carl Wittman)... or are closeted about being experts on the subjects... because they are talking about their own groups and STILL face discrimination and might lose those precious jobs if they are out... and they're just not identifiable by your *outsider* standards. And sorry, but if you don't know your own history, yes, you are an outsider in that sense. Yeah, I can trace some of my family lineage to Turtle Tribe Seneca. But I am an outsider because the only reservation I've ever been on is the one to Olive Garden. I might have to *gasp* turn to actual knowledgeable people to learn something about that. I can't just dress up in whatever or do whatever and say, "No, it's okay! My great-grandmother is Seneca!" and then claim not knowing better because my heritage was stolen by federal American laws. That's not how that works. There is some tentative evidence that some of my family was Jewish before hiding it and coming to America in the late 1930s. But I still have to go through an official conversion process. I still have to learn Jewish history and Jewish culture, and about Jewish diaspora issues. That’s how it works. If you are Japanese in Japan, same thing applies to certain things. Like if you are performing tea ceremony with your school, you can’t just wander in to most of them with whatever pretty kimono you want. There are rules for that. It is a language, not just a dress. You will be sent home. If you don’t want to adhere to those rules, you will not be accepted. That’s how it works. It sucks, totally. But welcome to real life. You might have to actually work at things... Including managing your feelings and not making other people responsible for them. You might have to take responsibility AND bury your ego long enough to learn from educated people. One tip is... Question sources! That was my biggest gripe ten years ago! Plenty of books about Japanese culture, and all of them with lots of white people (white according to American-centric ideas about whiteness) writing the narrative! I had to work to find books about Japanese social ideas written by Japanese authors. You might have to work, too, and not blame other people for not just *handing you shit.* But in the end, accept that other people might know more than you and that is isn't about being Uppity by nature. It's also about "I have all this, you want some?"

If you don't want to learn, then you have to leave the classroom. You can't be a child, throwing a temper tantrum. You're a grown-up. But don't just assume by someone's face that you magically already know how things will be. Ask for a list, a syllabus, a source, a curriculum vitae. That should give you some insight on what to expect. Ask for clarification. Oh, this class is teaching Arthur Conan Doyle? WHAT are they teaching about him, specifically? Erasure isn’t the answer, here. That legacy still exists.

Stick to a scope: you can't fit six books of info in one hour. You need to stay focused. That's part of learning. No "whaddabouts?" Yes, write them down and message them in! But they might not be for this specific post, lecture, or class. The class might need a thing right then, like when my Humanities prof decided that Britain just "had a skirmish" with Benin. No, they committed genocide because Benin refused to become a colony of England, and you need to know that RIGHT NOW while the class is happening, before the moment is gone or internalized. But if you have a side comment about what happened to diaspora in WW2 once they moved to Hawaii and Brazil, the focus of the class might be on experiences *in Japan* and not on diaspora. Email it. It might become another class. There isn't time for that right now. That doesn't mean the prof hates diaspora Japanese. It doesn't mean diaspora don't matter. It just means that the class is limited in focus and time, and right now, the focus isn't on diaspora. Don't make a big dramatic deal about it. Instead, idk, maybe write a well-sourced paper on diaspora experiences while fleeing hostile Showa-era takeover and release it publicly. You can just... do that. I've done that with transcripts for movies that don't have them, for essays on various topics. You can even get paid for that content! No one had to "approve" me. I put it on fucking Tumblr so everyone could have it. Open-source means something. jfc people. Stop whining. Start having open conversations instead of shutting anything new or different down. Stop the anti-intellectualism disguised as liberalism. Stop the xenophobia and nativism disguised as cultural protection. It's great when a culture decides for itself that most people (from that culture) don't want foreign interaction or interference! Leave them the fuck alone! It isn’t hard! Some cultures are closed. Some are semi-closed, like there’s certain things you can learn about or participate in but others are only for people from that background. But don't get mad when a totally different culture doesn't care or uses it for leverage. You don’t get to dismiss a different culture or denigrate them under the guise of “protecting” other POC by erasing them. And if your excuse is (Culture/group) is imperialistic/all people of ____ descent/race are _____ DUDE FIRST OF ALL WTF and second of all, let me tell you something about American history. French history. English history. There are some nuanced conversations we COULD have here, like adults. Or you could just be honest and say, “This isn’t a conversation I’d like to have right now.” That’s totally fine. Sometimes you just don’t have the spoons or time. I often don’t, being disabled. Or you could shut down like a child and say that this is fine but then mute all posts until you get your way, and anyone who posts an actual source is wrong or bad because intellectuals and experts are suspicious. Your choice. Real life is complicated. Figure it out instead of trying to reduce hard things to a box to fit in easily. Expand your world past your little tiny experiences in your own country and background. Stop assuming every fucking thing in the world works like it does in America. Stop approving/disapproving of any information that doesn’t match up with your American morality or experiences- there are *other people* that deal with things other ways than we do. Stop wholesale condemning anyone better informed than you just because of your ego. Start using some of those critical thinking skills you are supposed to have. If you don’t know how, type “critical thinking development” into youtube for tutorials. -------- Edit: hahaha I KNEW that Tumblr deleted something when it highlighted it. I just couldn’t figure out what at the time. The difference between Graham and Dalby: one worked in Pontocho as a geisha for research, and they knew that ahead of time; Graham lied her ass off to geisha and then tried to open her own house after taking only a few lessons to get famous and make a lot of money. She’s a fucking embarrassment and worse. --------------- Update 11/3 Turns out that dig I made about French costuming (a perennial fave in historybounding and historical sewing groups) and imperialism wasn’t all that far off... here’s a whole ass thread about how many fucking African presidents and leaders France has specifically killed, and how much France has done to just Africa relatively recently. That’s JUST to Africa. I bet some of my Mi’kMaq and Algonquin-descent friends would have some things to say about heritage erasure regarding the French.  https://thurisazsalail.tumblr.com/post/633807847387512832

[iwillwalk500miles]

a semi coherent analysis of blake belladonna and her character arc

a/n i accidentally wrote a tiny essay analyzing blake’s character while gushing to a friend on discord so now you all have to suffer about it,,,, i was supposed to be writing the soulmate au but no i have to be a clown about it jfc, if u think i missed anything or am straight up wrong pls tell me i am trying to learn more about this

okay so the thing about blake in the beginning was that she was very guarded right of the bat in the show, and it's later revealed this is do to adam (the prick) and all of the problems he caused her. according to the comic, she was very young when they met, like, i dunno? somewhere between the realm of twelve and fourteen? and adam was like eighteen, so... a bunch of red flags

he convinced her to put her trust in him, to care for him... and then effectively threw all of that love she had for him in her face when he became obsessive and angry and abusive. he tore her down over and over and over again, made her believe that he was the 'nice guy' here, he wanted to 'save everyone' made her feel bad for doubting him, and guilted her into doing things that she probably never would have done otherwise

then, when blake realizes that adam is bad, that he was not a good person, that he had lost his way so badly that he had no qualms with mass genocide, she drew the line and decided to get the hell out of there... but her trust in people is shattered, she'd left her parents for him, had ran from a loving mother and father for someone she realizes wouldn't do the same for her

so when she arrives to beacon she's quiet and cold, she thinks that she doesn't know how to love and care for the right people around her, and she's afraid that if she starts making friends with everyone she will only ever let them down (a side effect from her emotional abuse from adam)

then she meets yang and the rest of what would become her team, she starts to open up again, starts to allow herself to care for these people that she'd met, and it's ruined right as it's just beginning to blossum into something potentially beautiful

yang's arm is gone because of someone that blake knew, someone that she'd cared for once upon a time, and unable to deal with the thought that yang might blame her, she runs away.

so, blake runs right? and she decides that hey, adams a total prick (obvi) and that she might be safer around people in menagire, as long as she distances herself from all her friends none of them will suffer because of her... unfortunately sun did not get the memo, she's angry with him for a good reason, i think. i mean the guy means well, but someone following her every move is exactly what blake is worried about, he accidentally caused her undue stress, which made her entitled to be a little annoyed

when it comes to her parents, i know that she loved them and wanted to reconcile with them, but i can't quite follow her thought process here... in the end i assumed it was because she had no where else to go

in menagerie, she and sun discover a plot with the white fang, and throughout that little arc blake and ilia meet again and again

ilia (whom i'm in love with) represents the good of what she had in the past, ilia very much sees herself as a protector, as someone who dedicates themselves to a cause with their all, and this is obvious in the way that she seems to believe that following adam is doing the right thing. unfortunately, she's wrong, and blake is the one to show her that

i don't remember all of the events in the volumes after 3 super well because before 4 came out i tended to rewatch the first three, so all my thoughts in this arc about blake's character are kind of half baked and unpolished, but i do believe i have her core character in mind so bear with me for a moment

when she meets yang again, it's obvious that she's afraid, it's painted onto her face. she doesn't want yang, want any of her team, to blame her for what had happened. so consumed in this desire to prove that she's sorry, that even though it was 'her fault' (which it wasn't) she is doing her best to atone for what she thinks she did wrong, completely missing the real reason that yang is mad, which is that she ran away... leaving yang to relapse into her abandonment issues

they have a few very emotional and tension filled moments, with blake so obviously desperate to 'atone' and yang so obviously annoyed for her misguided apologies

obviously, this all comes to a head when the encounter the apathy

it's then that yang can't take the fact that blake seems to think that she needs to be protected, and blake (who has no experiance in this type of relationship except with,,,, adam,,,, ew) is left spiralling and confused, not so sure what she did wrong

my memory of the next events are kind of spotty, but blake and yang's confrontation with adam is a big big moment for blake's character. it's fighting him she realizes that one person trying to protect the other isn't the right way to go, that if they equally put in the work for their partnership it'll work out, contrasted with what she had with adam which all seemed to be a onesided effort on blake's part

(this is where i stopped)

i love blake, and i love her character arc, and i’d really appreciate it if anybody wanted to debate her actions with me, or if you have differing opinions, i really want to understand this whole thing better then before.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #270

“please remain calm; the end has arrived. we cannot save you; enjoy the ride.”

Do you own pastel-colored pants? No. What type of lotion do you use? I don't really use it. Nothing seems to help how dry my skin is. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic. If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pastel pink, but realistically (given a pink car would probably have a paint job I'd have to pay for, I assume?), I like burnt orange cars. Not too brown-ish, though. What is your favorite color, do you look good in it, & do you wear it a lot? Pink, probably not, and no. Name someone you know who hates pink. Idk. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home." Do you kill bugs? Sometimes. Depends. If they're in my house, most likely. Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? No. Do you own any rompers? No. What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? I made a birdhouse out of a milk carton once. Animal Planet taught me lol. Do you use window clings (aka window stickers)? No. What color is your stapler? Black. Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? Ugh, no, but that's one reason I want to move to somewhere I have a bigger room for a desk so I don't do everything in my damn bed. What do you miss about college? Feeling like I was worth something and on a "proper" path. Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? No. What is/was your dream school? I never had a "dream" school. Do you wish you could talk to someone about your past? If so, who? Idk, probably someone. What motivates you? Music and/or videos on whatever subject I could use motivation in, like self-care on my bad days. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. Tried, though. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I went through a doctor appointment entirely without Mom just a few days ago; she had to stay in the car due to chemo, so I filled stuff out, checked in/out alone, answered questions on my own, that business. I'm entirely aware it's sad as hell that a 24 y/o did that for the first time, but if you knew just how dependent I am on my mom, you'd get it. Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Valentine's when I actually have someone to celebrate with, but I love Easter as an aunt with how excited the kids are about candy and all. Easter sorta rubs me the wrong way though since, y'know, Christianity essentially stole and rebuilt it. Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? I myself don't even decorate. Mom only does for Christmas, and it's very last minute. What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? I don't drink Starbucks. What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? *checks phone* uh the one where I'm wearing a red tank top is okay. That's all you can see cuz FUCK taking full-body pics of me. What’s on your wish list right now? Ha, I actually have a list in my phone of things I really want/need to buy when I can. A few include a bigger terrarium to Venus, a treadmill, an Unus Annus shirt before the channel and thus merch expire, glasses for driving... What do you use to sweeten your tea? I don't drink tea. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, I don't wear enough colors or makeup in general to warrant buying one. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? The aforementioned doctor visit. How would you rate your self-esteem? Low, healthy, or high? Low as like, the deepest oceanic trench probs. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yeah. Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary. Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? Only ever to just be a goth to live out my inner fantasy of regularly flaunting that aesthetic. Do you enjoy putting outfits together? Not particularly. Would you rather it rain or snow? Snow! What does your umbrella look like? Don't have one. What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Do you mean like, emotionally/mentally toxic? I'm guessing probably yes. Even though parts of it were entirely realistic, understandable reactions/behaviors, I most definitely had some toxicity in me regarding the breakup, too. Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? Uggghhhh, both are so cute. On me, I'd only ever wear tunic tops, but on others, I tend to find cropped tops cuter. What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don't pay enough attention to this to really know... hm. Yeah, idk. Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? I could only dream of being as motivated and smart and determined and "I can do this shit" as Markiplier jfc I Love One Man Only. Do you like stuffed animals? EEEEEEEEK yes!!!! What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes? Yes; not to brag whatsoever, but too many for me to remember. I remember I got my very first B in 5th grade in I think math, and I was so bummed out. Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I don't think so. Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? I'm content-ish, not happy, but also not unhappy. Is your bed right by a window? There's one to my upper right and middle left, but my bed's not exactly against either. Do you spend more time in your bedroom or your living room? I barely leave my bedroom. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Halloween, if I actually did decorate. Do you name stuffed animals still? Very rarely. Depends on what it is, the importance, etc. What titles did you win in the senior class polls? I FUCKIN READ THIS AS "TITTIES" AND WAS JUST LIKE... Anyway, none. Were you popular in school? No. If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? Only NC. Who was your best roommate? Well, Jason, if he even counted as a "roommate." Was your first roommate your best roommate? See above, considering idk if he fits the term; if he does, then yes. What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? Disney World. Have you ever wanted to be a model? No. What years did you attend prom? Sophomore (bf was a senior and he took me) and senior. What do you want to be for Halloween? I was recently listening to a metal version of Oogie Boogie's song from TNBC and it hit me: MISS Oogie Boogie. A fat bitch could pull that shit off, watch me ho. Which member of your family are you closest to? My mom. If you have any regrets, what is the biggest one? If not, why do you have no regrets? Letting a boy become absolutely all that mattered and more to me. Would you ever apply to be on reality TV? Why? Ew, no. I don't need any more people judging me and my life. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program that saved my life, literally. Do you have a hard time letting things go? It depends on what it is, but generally, yes. I recently realized one of my greatest flaws: I respond very, very poorly to loss, in any way. Looking back on people (especially people), events, other things... a negative, chronic reaction to loss is present throughout. What have you accomplished in life that has made you the most happy? Emotionally healed, a lot. I don't think some things will ever fully scar over, but nevertheless, I don't mentally have fuckin gashes in me. Have you ever struggled with your weight? Ever since the breakup, yes. I thought I was slightly fat before then, but looking at pictures now, I just think "damn hunny u look gud" and realize I was perfectly healthy. But anyway, I was put on a medication called Abilify (full-on name droppin', fuck this med), and it MURDERED my metabolism. I could eat a fuckin carrot and gain five pounds, probably. Emotional eating probably contributed too, but here's the thing: my current doctor took me off of it, knowing the moment I mentioned it that it was not only bad for me and my conditions but also responsible for the extreme weight gain? Pounds dropped like a ton of bricks, and this started before my emotional eating began to die off and regulate. I lost around 80 pounds just from dropping a goddamn pill. Cue college essay-long rant here about how my body image was slaughtered, how much I loathe the fucking doc that kept me on the med and blamed everything on me, and now how I've been stuck weight-wise for two years despite a vast plethora of methods to continue shedding a;sdlkfajkwlelawe GUYS I could rant til my hypothetical great-grandchildren die. When you are out with your friends are you loud and outgoing or shy and reserved? It depends on who the friend is, where we are, etc., but generally, I'm just awkward, trying to be outgoing when in fact I'm questioning every single thing I say and do al;wekjrkawde this survey has taken a TURN. Do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? I don't leave my pj's unless I have to leave the house and go inside somewhere besides like, a gas station or something that's just "whatever." In high school did you have a lot of friends? Do you still keep in touch? I wouldn't say a *lot*, no, but not a tiny amount, either. The only one I ever still see is Girt, but I keep up with many on Facebook via the like button and shit, ha. Do you really care about such issues as abortion, religion, and global warming? Fuck yes I do. Who is the biggest womanizer you know? Juan sure was, but I haven't been in contact with him for years. Would you ever have a threesome? No. Who is the most attractive person you know? Of those I personally know-know, my answer will probably always be Alon like jc she's beautiful. When did you last feel the most free? ZOINKS we can't ask that question in America rn. Is there anyone who likes (or liked) you and had a really hard time getting over you? I don't know. Did you ever love someone and feel like it was wrong? Love? No. Well, before I realized I was bi, maybe Mini counts, as then I was anti-LGBT and couldn't even imagine myself as anything but straight. What’s your favorite bug? Butterflies. What’s the longest amount of time you liked/loved somebody for? Yeesh... I still can't say with absolute confidence I no longer love Jason at all, whom I started dating in 2012 and went head over heels for. What song makes you cry? There's a few that are capable of it sometimes, but do fucking not play "Stairway To Heaven" if I'm within 10 miles of you. "Another Life" by MiW usually makes me tear up towards the end, but it normally doesn't get that far anymore. Do you like rock or rap music better? Rock, as I'm not a rap fan. If you could watch someone change, would you? Yes let me live my life a;lsdkfjaws Ever known someone with an eating disorder? I don't know. I think maybe? Have you ever had a white Christmas? I think? The best snow we ever got was late Christmas night though, and the next morning was a total whiteout. What’s something you want to do but aren’t sure of yet? Hm. Idk. I'm pretty sure of most things I want to do. Biggest lie you ever told? I'm not entirely sure and I'd rather not search for one. Do you have a religion? I don't fit perfectly into any. I relate most with Neo-Paganism, but even that I deviate from some. Believe that there is a point to churches? I mean sure, people have the right to believe in/worship what they want to, and some people get a lot of joy and reassurance out of going. How do eat Oreos? "I split them in half and lick the cream before eating the cookie." <<<< Converse or Vans? Idc. Eh, maybe Converse, but idk. Dancing or watching others dance? I love watching others dance, it's why I enjoyed dance recitals and competitions. Favorite thing to touch/feel? My cat! <3 Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? Both would be horrifying, but I guess earthquake. I've had an outrageous fear of tornadoes since I was very little. Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa, duh. Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight? Start a fight, I guess. Trying to sully someone's name with false information would haunt me way more than starting an understandable fight. What has been the best New Year's for you so far & why? I don't know. What is the weirdest fear you’ve ever heard of someone having? Do you have any weird fears, and if so, what are they? Uhhh I think maybe butterflies? Idk, even that's not too weird considering it's an insect, and that's common. I'm personally absolutely terrified of pregnancy and also whale sharks scare me quite a bit. ig that's weird. How did you find Tumblr? lol how could you not know at some point as a teen on the Internet. What of the 8 wonders of the world do you find the most fascinating, if any? I had to look them up lmao. I guess the Great Pyramid of Giza. I in general find Egyptian culture and art to be very cool. Do you have a webcam? If you do, do you ever use it and what for? I mean, it's built into the laptop. I never use it. What is something that you think is really underrated? The band Otep, for one. I mean they're not small, but I don't think most people interested in the metal genre know them. OH and then there are A LOT of YouTube artists that MADLY deserve to be signed. I have a large chunk of metal musicians I listen to, and those especially like Jonathan Young blow my fucking mind they haven't technically "made it," even if they have a large subscriber base. Have you ever had a dream where you died? Did anything weird happen to your body after it? Yes, a few. Now hang with me, okay? One of my worst nightmares as a kid involved the wicked witch from TWoO turning me into one of those fucking party things that you blow into it and the paper unfurls and her using it killed me. Yo idk. I was really scared of that witch as a kid. What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? How about the most realistic? It involved my dad and that's all that needs to be said. Realistic? Hm. This was SO long ago that I barely remember *just* how real it felt, but I remember it felt real as fuck. I was very little when this happened. I dreamed that I went outside to our porch because there was a weird light and when I stepped outside, a swan and a goose flew down from the light onto the porch to become my late grandpa and my deeply beloved cat Midnight, who died from sickness. I'm sure it was just a dream now, but back then, I was VERY convinced it was like a vision from God or something, telling me they were okay and with us. Do you have a favorite fashion trend? What is it? Is there a fashion trend right now that you think is completely ridiculous, and if so, what? What do you think was the worst fashion trend of all time? I don't care about fashion enough to go in depth about all this. I'll tell you right now though that mullets were the worst mistake known to mankind. Do you tend to like original horror movies or re-makes better? What’s your favorite horror movie? Is it an original or a remake? If you're remaking an old one, I'll probably like it more since they're generally not nearly as cheesy. Modern horror movies, I don't have much of a preference. My fave is The Blair Witch Project, and it's an original. What is one characteristic in a person that you cannot stand? What characteristics do you like best in a person? Do you possess any of these characteristics? Those that act violent when they're angry, for one. Those scare me. Some traits that I really like are compassion, patience, genuineness, empathy, kindness just for the sake of being so, stuff like that. I'd like to think I've got some of those. It's notable that in my nightmares, I'm way more violent than I actually am, though. What kind of jeans do you like best? When I actually wore jeans, they were like solely skinny jeans. What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup after a long-term relationship and falling way, way too hard to be healthy. Does it still bother me? PTSD is stapled on my fucking forehead if you know the slightest about it. I've healed a whole lot, but I'm pretty sure it's a scar that's never going to even fully seal.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

After

In case you were wondering what Fifty Shades of Grey for the teen set looks like, you’ll have a pretty good idea once you see After. Over-the-top romantic dramas are so not my thing, but I will concede they usually make great comedies. This film, based on the fan fiction of the same name, is a silly soapy bad boy/good girl meet at college scenario dialed up to a melodramatic 11. Does it actually succeed as a romance or is this just a pale imitation of the really terrible adult version? Well...

Honestly, it’s just so much. I can’t take it seriously because it’s so cringey in so many ways. I don’t blame the actors (much) because they’re really going for it, but this is so far removed from any kind of realistic interpersonal relationship that I can’t help but hold my head in my hands and weep. 

Tessa (Josephine Young) meets Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin, whom you know as child Voldemort from the sixth Harry Potter) during her first week at college and is both repulsed and drawn to his mysterious bad-boy energy. He likes his coffee like he likes his clothes - black, and he reads F. Scott Fitzgerald for fun so you know he’s deep. Eventually the tension between them is just too much and they become involved, much to the disappointment of Tessa’s wet bread of a boyfriend, Noah (Dylan Arnold) and her mom (Selma Blair). It becomes them against the world until [movie trailer voiceover voice] Tessa learns something that changes EVERYTHING. 

Some thoughts that are basically just a running tally of my reactions to every nonsensical thing that happened:

Oh my god I can’t believe Selma Blair is the mom??? God, nothing makes you feel your own mortality like the stars from teen films of your youth showing up as parents in the teen films of today. 

In what world do upperclassmen stay in the dorms and get paired with incoming freshmen? 

This boyfriend, Noah, has the personality of an egg salad sandwich.

Of fucking course Hardin’s reading The Great Gatsby jesus could there be a bigger neon sign flashing I AM A PRETENTIOUS DOUCHEBAG. Oh and if some arrogant motherfucker told me the end of The Great Gatsby was all a dream while I was naked I would reply “Get the fuck out of my room” rather than debating the thematic elements of the great American novel. 

“I only drink black coffee” - god, these line readings are just so wooden and awful. And I feel like I’m playing “bad boy bingo” over here. The fact that he played young child Voldemort in Half-Blood Prince is not helping his stalker vibes.

These character tropes are so simplistic as to be laughable, and they’re all over the place. I also didn’t party in high school, but I wasn’t raised in a bubble, I knew what fucking Truth or Dare was. And why is Tessa dressed like Sarah Plain and Tall? But then on the flip side, I hate that thing in teen movies where everyone is scandalized that she’s 18 and has only had 1 boyfriend and is a virgin. Like - fucking YEAH. CAUSE SHE’S 18. THAT’S NOT WEIRD. 

The side characters are far more interesting. Like the roommate, Steph (Khadijha Red Thunder), who is pretty great and also hella gay! I can’t tell how I decide about how the movie treats her queerness though. On the one hand, it feels very ~scandalous~ and Tessa’s mom is all like “sHe’S a BaD iNfLuEnCe” but on the other hand, Tessa doesn’t seem that uncomfortable with it and Steph is one of the only people who it seems like she has a healthy emotional attachment to. 

Ok, as reluctant as I am to admit it, I am a sucker for an agonizingly slow almost kiss. And the movie does provide one pretty damn good almost kiss.

Listen, I have taught literature before and there is no way in hell 1) 2 students talk that much on the first day of class 2) you sum up the lecture with “and there you have it - that’s the power of a good book.” 

Boys you don’t trust taking you into the woods is NOT ROMANTIC. 

Why are his eyes open when they kiss??? Bruno Mars has a whole song about this! It’s fucking creepy!

I do appreciate that Tessa isn’t the typical Bella Swan fainting flower. She stands up for herself, she pushes back.

He’s so fake profound - “the silence is peaceful” - god I can’t with this dialogue. 

I love how fast movie breakups are without anyone saying anything useful. All of my breakups have taken an hour MINIMUM but in movies it’s like “It isn’t what it looks like!” and someone walks away, and that’s it. 

I don’t understand this scene in the library...college libraries don’t close? That’s like, one of their main purposes? Is to be open all night for studying?

Landon (Shane Paul McGhie) is a precious angel who deserves his own story rather than being stuck in this shitshow.

Has Peter Gallagher ever played anything BUT a rich father with a tumultuous relationship with his asshole son?

ENGLISH MAJORS CAN GET JOBS, YOU FUCK.

Ok, one legitimate shining moment of praise - I am so goddamn happy that they show safe sex and actually show the condom wrapper before the sex happens, not after. AND that there is clear, enthusiastic consent going on all around! More of this in movies, please. 

JFC whoever wrote this clearly didn’t go to college - you can’t show one student another student’s work without their permission, it’s a goddamn FERPA violation, you don’t know how ANY OF THIS WORKS. And why was Hardin’s essay so long? Why would you write that whole paper and give it to your professor if it’s really basically just a letter to Tessa? You’d get a zero anyway, because I KNOW that shit did not meet the rubric requirements of your assignment, and now you’ve embarrassed yourself by showing it to another person??

Did I Cry? Not a fucking drop.

If this genre really speaks to you, there’s certainly some things here to like. But overall, I think most of us are better off before we ever watch this particular After. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[brycedearings]

okay, a couple of things I have to talk about from JWFK (mainly clawen really) because I can’t contain myself anymore. If you haven’t seen it and want to stay s*poiler free, don’t read below the cut. This is all sporadic and I’ll probably be more coherent after I see it again, but after my initial view....

ASDFGHJKLASFGHJKLASHJKLASDFGHJKL now that that’s out of the way... SO MUCH CLAWEN. SO MUCH CLAIRE BEING BADASS. SO MUCH OWEN GIVING CLAIRE HEART EYES.

Let’s start with the big kahuna... the kISS. So... I was initially pretty bummed that they weren’t starting out together in this film since back in 2015 I hoped they’d be engaged or married with a little baby Charlie Grady. However, I kept telling myself that they were going to get back together in this movie. They had to, right? Still, I was scared- that not only they wouldn’t get back together in this film (since Ellie and Allen didn’t end up together and I thought they were going that route) and that we wouldn’t get a kiss and we had to wait another 3 years for a maybe kiss.

Because fact of the matter is that this has always been a major dino franchise which is great because dinos !!!! but Clawen... so yeah I was filled with anxiety but I kept my hope, and it was building with each moment they had leading up to the kiss. 

quick note: I’m so thankful for the writers we have. For them taking the time to develop the characters and their arcs and clawen’s love story. It’s not just a humor romantic side bit for shit’s and giggles- it’s REAL. There was a lot of emphasis on the first without being overkill (for general audience def not me ever), but they carried on with it so well in this one. I only wish we got more info and details as to what happened between them, but I understood why they can’t fit in everything. 

Another thing- I kept thinking that if they were going to kiss in this movie and get back together, how awesome would it be if Claire was the one to initiate it this time? I mean tbh at the end of the day I didn’t care as long as their lips locked, but THEY FOLLOWED THROUGH WOW WHAT A PARALLEL TO THE FIRST??

When I saw the indoraptor’s claw dig into her leg I felt like crying out because poor Claire!! I hate seeing her in pain!! And then my immediate thought: Owen is going to LOSE HIS SHIT. I loved that instead of him running off right away- he stayed. He couldn’t leave her. How he kept telling her to look at him, the softness and care and concern in his voice... my GOD. And then when she looked at him aND PLANTED ONE ON HIM. I stopped breathing. The audience cheered but I- lost my damn mind.

The look on his face- he just- he loves her so much and the fierce in which she kissed him was just so familiar? It was an “I still love you, you idiot, now go save that little girl and then we’ll come back to each other because we’re inevitable.”

Their first JW kiss was hot and hurried in the middle of chaos again, but it was more of an adrenaline rushed “thanks for saving me god I love you that was so hot” type of kiss. This was just screaming with pure love? That kiss was filled with the deep relationship you know they built. A desperate plea to go and do what is necessary but also a “please don’t die and I’m not letting you go without letting you know I still love you”. I keep quoting what that kiss said just because it said so much?? I have to hand it to Bryce and Chris and their acting. Their genuine care and love and respect for each other as friends really bled into clawen and you could just feeeeel that history and connection between them so well. 

I could talk about that kiss forever but I’ll try to move on to some other things now:

*Real quick and honestly my mind is a mess because this was a jam packed movie with parallels that were so beautiful and I have so much to say, but my fave parallels have to be the kiss, the shot of Claire in the elevator asdfghjkl when I saw the heels and jeans I lost my shit... and her hair up in a pony tail in more casual clothes but still badass af... I lost it. Did I not say that already? Also, Bryce looked gorgeous in this movie. I mean, she always is but... jfc. 

-Another parallel that I loved was when Claire was told she had to speak to Owen and she got that look in her eyes... she didn’t roll them like last time, she looked... scared almost. To go back there. Then when she went to see him and she was fixing her hair (against like the first part) and was so shy and softly said his name “Hey Owen” ahem “why do you call me Mr. Grady?” I love a parallel and progression in one !! Also, I def need to see again but... he was singing “I still love you” right? Anyway, I died.

-Hearing Bryce’s laugh in this movie was everything I never knew I needed so much. At first I thought she was quickly drunk or something... but then hearing them talking and lightly arguing about what happened between them gave me all the feels because YES THEY WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE. THEY’VE SLEPT TOGETHER. WERE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER. I-

When his voice got all soft again and told her her skin looked nice I ???? Like someone on here mentioned, I bet he call(ed)s her beautiful all the time. When they were together and in bed. In the mornings. Cuddling. He would call her beautiful just because asdfghjkl anyway.

-Claire’s look of anguish when Owen couldn’t get into the gyrosphere. When he was in the water and the look they shared. Again, Bryce and Chris’s acting was impeccable. It just screamed how much they were scared of losing one another. 

-Small moment, but when Claire saw that Owen was in the back of the plane asdfghjkl cute af

-There were so many cute little moments. I loved the teamwork. When they were trying to get the blood from the t-rex and Owen was laughing at Claire being on top of it. Also- Claire on top of a t-rex? I can’t wait for all the parallel gifs from the first movie with this one. Claire is one badass babe.

wHEN THEY FELL ASLEEP AND HER HAND WAS I N S I D E HIS SHIRT honestly it couldve been outside- but no they were like lETS HAVE IT INSIDE SINCE THEY USED TO HAVE ALL THE SEX I see you Jay you beautiful director you. AND THEN OWEN’S LIL SMILE WHEN HE SAW HER AND THEN HE SMELLED HER HAIR AND THEN PRETENDED TO BE ASLEEP WHEN SHE STARTED TO STIR R U KIDDING ME THIS IS WHAT FIC DREAMS ARE MADE OF I swear the entire JW crew ships clawen we are hashtag BLESSED.

-I love their trust for one another and how well they knew each other and I love that that was something so prominent yet casual all the same? All the teamwork and Owen telling her to start the truck when they were getting off the island...

-When Owen was going to see Blue and Claire was worried and Owen started to play into her emotions because it’s him and she did that little gasp because this is the part where he tells her he loves her or kisses her (also for audience reasons) and it was just so aslsadjla cute and funny and them and also worked perfectly because when they DID kiss it was 97654321 times more emotional so 10/10 writing. 

-Claire knowing how much Blue means to Owen. Owen telling her it wasn’t her fault. Owen talking to her softly when she was trying to decide to save the dinos. His hand on her shoulder. 

-When they stood like a family next to Maisie and they all but drove into the sunset together?? I guess they’re parents now??????? Did this actually happen?? I do hope Maisie asks for a little sibling and if there’s a time jump in the next one they need to be married with a little Grady baby.

Anyway, this is all over the place and I’m sure I’ll analyze more the next time I go see it because it just has to happen. I loved it so much I got so emotional and overwhelmed bc I missed this movie and these two characters. I can’t believe it’s been 3 years since the first which changed my life and ugh I can’t wait for the next one but also don’t want it yet bc I’m soooo not ready to say goodbye to it. At all. Ever. Can it just be a tv show??

I was very pleased with the clawen we got. Even if they weren’t together in the movie, we got so many scenes with them together and it exceeded my expectations with the love that was felt, the looks we got, the CUDDLING, the KISS. THEY REALLY DID KISS AGAIN MY GOD.

I’ll probably do another post on just Claire on how badass she was because that’s a whole other essay with how amazing her arc and progression is. But real quick:

-she looked so beautiful I will never stop talking about this

-boots or heels it doesn’t matter she will save the day

-she served so many good looks in this movie asdfghjkl Claire in jeans and all nice and corporate and then badass I’m- overwhelmed

-how sweet she was with Maisie WHAT A MOM

-when she gets on the roof with the rifle and it’s raining ummm am I the only one who go seriously turned on? ESP after getting badly injured?? yooooo

-how she went from “the assets” to dino!mom trying to save them all just makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry forever

-WHEN SHE BANGED THAT ASSHAT’S HEAD AGAINST THE BARS AND OWEN LOOKED SO PROUD OF HIS GIRL ASDFGHJKL; again: I was turned on

-she loves Owen so much

speaking of Owen he was so mature and loves Claire so much he literally only went because of her you can’t convince me otherwise even tho he wanted to save Blue too. He loves his girls... and he has another one now.

ahhhh ok I know I’m missing a lot of things- I want to talk about the plot and other characters, visuals, etc later in more detail but I had to get all my clawen excitement out because I was bursting. Still am tbh. I can’t wait to see it again and for everyone to post gifs so I can catch the little things I missed. And oh the fics... how I missed them. 

Again, always feel free to fangirl with me over this movie because I’m currently still spiraling. 

[remsyk-blog]

Prediction Scorecard: 4/5

I may or may not have written a thousand word essay about season four. Apparently, I had more feelings than initially believed. 

1)      Keith leaves Voltron (CHECK)

Spot on. Timing was off by an episode, because really, first episode? But I was right in saying he leaves early. Plus, way back when, I said there was no way Keith was flying in those coalition shows. Also correct.

What I wasn’t expecting is HOW he would leave. Jesus Christ, just rip out our hearts and dance on them. He deliberately distanced himself from the team and FORCED Shiro to step back into the Black Lion. The strength of character required to put one’s self in a position of loathing in order to lift someone else is extraordinary. When Shiro doubted himself, Keith never faltered for a second, doing everything in his power to put Shiro back in the Black Lion, at the expense of himself. This scene, this selflessness, blew me away. That, for me, will be one of the stand out scenes from this show, easily.

It KILLED me to see that disappointed expression on Shiro’s face, before they understood what he did. But what did we get out of it? KEITH/SHIRO HUG 2.0!!!! AW YISS!

Then to accept a mission that would put him out of direct line of communication for months? His dedication is commendable, but it does remind me of a certain, doped up, supervillain…

2)      Lotor is going to be betrayed by Haggar. (CHECK-ish)

Okay, so maybe not Haggar EXACTLY, but she definitely had her suspicions, and planted the seed which led to Narti’s unwilling betrayal. Lotor lost a lot this season.

He lost his position, something he didn’t want in the first place, but used to his advantage. No big deal. Then he lost Narti, forcing him to take her out, which in turn caused him to lose the trust and faith of his generals. Then, he lost his immunity as Prince, having the entire Galra empire focus their attention on killing him. He lost one of his ships, and his ability to pursue his goal of traveling between dimensions.

So, on the point of his generals, I am disappointed at how easily they turned on him. I understand they were shaken by Lotor killing Narti, but to just flip so quickly? I don’t think Lotor ever explained why he did that, adding to their unease, but… I suppose this increase’s the desperation Lotor must be feeling.

Also, on the point of diabolical tyrants, Zarkon is back, on his own two Quintessence fueled feet, and has even worse tunnel vision than before! He doesn’t even know what “half-assed” means. I feel as though, to a degree, Haggar understands this about him, and steers the canon, but she also uses it as a way to keep him distracted. They have a strange dynamic.

 3)      Pidge finds Matt (CHECK)

YEAH, WHAT DID I SAY? IN THE COMFORT OF MY OWN HOME WITH FULL EPISODE BUILDUP. The graveyard scene was a nice touch, very clever, but you can’t fool me! I especially liked the flashback scenes, because guess what?

KEITH AND SHIRO ARE IN THE BACKGROUND AT THE KERBEROS MISSION LAUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of a thousand Pre-Kerberos fanfiction writers praising the Gods for their good fortune.

Dear Matt, jesus. I can’t believe the writers actually made him 5000% the Meme Lord Tumblr immediately pegged him to be. Artists and writers had his personality cracked DAY ONE. That interaction with him, Allura, and Lance? Fucking. Gold. Shiro’s reaction was mellow, but the little hug was a nice touch. *listens to distant cries of Shatt shippers* Fueled for years to come.

4)      Shiro and the Black Lion (CHECK)

This goes back to my first point, so I won’t get into this too much more, but Keith basically sacrificed his standing among the paladins in order to force Shiro to accept his place as rightful pilot of the Black Lion. He is the Black Paladin. Keith knew it from the beginning. Now Shiro knows it too.

*cough* So, episode four. Holy shit, episode four, The Voltron Show! God that was painful, but it had a few zingers. Such as:

Replacing all the paladins with better, newer ones! Except you, Shiro; you’re our most popular character!

Shiro: I need to make a speech about joining forces and Voltron- Coran: Nope! Heroes don’t talk, just flex their muscles and pose. Now put on this super tight shirt and get out there!

5)      We learn more about Keith’s mother (Yeah, no)

My one scratch is about Keith’s mother. I’ll admit, I’m a tad disappointed that nothing came of the vlog bit, at least not for this season, but I have hope that it will be addressed next season. By the time we catch up, Keith has already been training with the BoM for a while, obvious from his leveled-up ninja moves, jfc.

Final Thoughts:

Episode One, Code of Honor, was an emotional rollercoaster I was not prepared to ride, but damn if it wasn’t a fantastic opening. Keith and Shiro’s dynamic is such a pleasure to watch, and, as a bonus, we got more Sheithy goodness to fuel our fanfics and fanworks for months.

Um, still love Keith. Like, I loved him, A LOT, from the getgo, but now? *swoons* He’s too good for this world. Code of Honor and A New Defender, best episodes. Both show just how far Keith is willing to go for the ones he cares about and a cause he believes in. They better not fucking squander it.

Meme Lord Matt vs Lover Boy Lance

Lotor is brilliant, fucking brilliant. He’s driven, intelligent, manipulative, but adaptable. He’s a wildcard, and I can’t wait to see what he’s capable of.

Referring back to my first predictions for this season, I figured that Keith leaving the team would end with him teaming up with Lotor in some manner to fight against Zarkon. This wasn’t quite how I pictured it, but Voltron and Lotor teaming up is now a very real possibility. I’ll mark it as half a point.

Hunk needs an episode. A good, solid episode, not the nonsense they pulled in The Voltron Show! No, that shit got old real quick. On the plus side, we did get Hunk straight DROPPING a Galra commander with an impressive flying elbow. Perfection.

Lance’s speech at the end was wonderful. His connection to Allura and the Blue lion made it special, and showed a level of maturity that we rarely get to see from him. I very much like this side of him.

[cuccofarmer]

I’VE FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT.

The present differences between One Piece pre- and post-timeskip – A One Piece Essay.

With One Piece’s Dressrosa arc finally wrapping up last year, there has been a collective sigh of relief as the longest running story has ended. The complaints, from what I saw, stemmed from the fact that pacing was a dramatic issue during Dressrosa and its overall length led to a huge loss of interest. Personally, I loved Dressrosa’s story, but I wholeheartedly agree that it was a total struggle to stick out. This was the arc that broke me. I saw the light and switched to reading the manga which is a million miles better, by the way. Despite all the superiorities in the manga, it still suffered from a multitude of similar problems as the anime.

This drove me to try and find out why I still felt a whole inside my heart even while reading One Piece. I had to think long and hard, and dug through the internet to find a lot of other opinions on the matter. I came to the conclusion that, since the timeskip, the overall thematic feel for our favourite pirate anime/manga has just changed drastically. I know this isn’t anything new, quite the contrary and don’t get me wrong I love One Piece a lot and still find joy in following the story.  

Search your mind and think back. Can you remember the good ol’ days when five intrepid kids (yes kids) got on a dingy little ship with dreams and ambitions that they could only wish to achieve? Good, because for many that is what made them fall in love with One Piece. I remember when I started watching all I wanted was to be on that ship with them. It made you feel part of something, like you were really on deck with the crew as they made their way from East Blue to the dreaded and mysterious Grand Line. Even following that, the crusade through to Alabasta, trying to save their very own princess. The diabolical Sir Crocodile, with his hook made of gold and his fearsome sand abilities. Remember as the crew faced off with Baroque Works and found the reason for their fighting.

Oh boy, and even Skypeia. I hated Skypeia for a long time because it was hard to get through, but I can tell you the second time I watched it I found a lot of reasons why it was good. The intrigue, the exploration, the mystery behind the missing island, and by far the best part of that arc, the Almighty Eneru (or Enel for those who prefer). Man was he as good villain. You could argue he was horrible, but just think of his motivation. How evil and power-mad can one man get? All it took was Luffy’s perfect counter to put him in his place.

Then to my favourite ever story arc in all of One Piece. It is so hard to beat Water 7. It had so much good shit crammed into it. Even more surprising if you combine Water 7 and Enies Lobby together as the saga it comes close to the length of Dressrosa. So why is it so much better? For many damn good reasons. Remember when the crew lost Robin, only to find her supposed betrayal? Good Lord was that heartbreaking, even though you knew she would come back there was a tiny part of you that was still secretly worried. There was that deep-rooted connection to each crew member that you didn’t want tainted. For me the defining moment of this saga was when the Strawhat pirates stood at the gates of hell (or Justice if you like), and stared death in the face when they were toe to toe with Cipher Pol 9. Enemies who could swat them like flies and yet they found the strength to beat them against all the odds, even if it meant sacrificing their humanity. Goddamn motherfucking Sniper King. That’s all I have to say.

Thriller Bark had that stink of adventure all over, however slow it was, so you could put up with the crew being duped by an idiot, Moria’s god-awful laugh, and the cringiest moments of Perv-salom. There was a mystery to be solved and a treasure to be found. There was something lacking though. How come Zoro and Sanji were missing for so long? Surely our two favourite hot-heads weren’t captured by the enemy? Well they were, and for one good reason: they needed to make room for the rest of the crew. At this point in the story we had eight crew members with the ninth one being introduced. How much time can you devote to NINE main characters? Five is perfect, six is fine, seven is manageable, eight is pushing it, but nine? It’s one hard task to make sure nine dang Strawhats have the same amount of development.

Luckily the plot went elsewhere at this point, we saw the crew split up and the focus was all on our meat-loving captain. Ace in danger? We better get going! So we couldn’t dwell on the fact that suddenly we were seeing so much less of our favourite nakama even when the crew was all together.

Then you hit the timeskip. Finally our Strawhats are all back together again! This should be a cause for celebration. Except something wasn’t quite right. Who’s this fishman poser? Why is he just a copy/paste Arlong? Luffy’s super duper strong now! Can’t he just squash him? Why do I care about a goddamn goldfish lady? Shira-who? Show me more nakama adventure! Wait what? Sanji’s decommissioned? You’re telling me I waited all the way through Amazon Lily to Marineford and now my favourite goddamn cook is in a fucking coma? I say nay!

Do you remember when Zoro used to smile because he was happy, not because he was sadistically going to cut someone to ribbons? Do you remember when Nami’s character was something more than fan service? Do you remember when Usopp fought through all his fears to look his enemy in the eye and stand his ground? Now he’s just played for laughs. Do you remember when Sanji was suave and collected and not a quivering heap in front of every lady he met? Do you remember when Chopper could ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOME DOCTORIN’. Now he’s just a squeaky merchandising ploy. Do you remember when Robin, my favourite Strawhat, would ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOMETHING – LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. Do you remember when Franky didn’t completely look and act like an abomination? Me either, Franky never got that much screen time did he? And Brook, poor skeletal Brook, I hope you get some sort of development, man. It looks promising in Whole Cake Island, you might actually get some real badass action.

Above all, Monkey D. Luffy, when did you become such an idiot. Sure he was always a dolt, but now he just meanders through the story, punching anything in his way. The stakes aren’t as high anymore. Who knows what training the Dark King gave Luffy for two whole years? Hody Jones was a scrub. Caesar Clown was a scrub. Doflamingo was a Hannibal Lecter level badass mo-fo. I bet you he owns that Pulp Fiction wallet, but jfc a build up of close to 200 episodes? Like I said, I am trash for One Piece and the storytelling is still fucking prime. So I’ll keep going, especially since Whole Cake Island has given us a lot of promising material, maybe the first bit we’ve had in the New World.

Here endeth my essay on One Piece. Conclusion? We have become detached from our favourite characters. Through some fault in the story, a by-product of having to fit so much in each segment, we have lost a lot of what made us fall in love with it in the first place. We used to be so lucky we had heroes who we could identify with, who we could journey with. Nowadays we have these super-cool, super-badass pirates, but they’re untouchable. I just wish we had some semblance of the good ol’ days. Maybe I’m just being spoilt.

Also the animation is shit now.

Peace out, I love y’all. TLDR: Pre-Timeskip was better because the characters had more development and were more relatable whereas now they are super-powered infallibles.

��z�c�