#i knew it would be weird when she said she's gassy from eating at the start

[ikkan]

having your eyebrow lady come at you left and right 😭

[kessielrg]

[Kingdom Hearts] Occupational Hazard

Summary: By far, Ven’s got the most boring job at the flower shop; the cashier. Sitting day in and day out for someone to browse along the rows of flowers and gardening tools, then probably walk right out again. Sometimes an interesting thing would happen- but they were few and far between. [flower shop AU focused on UX kids][Part 6 in a series of oneshots][VenxOC][EphemerxOC/F!Player]

Rating: K

Word Count: 2,541

If you liked this story, please reblog!

---

Ven thought about having children exactly once before. It had been a really random thought too. What made him space out that day? Had he been preparing for a test, or was it just another slow day at the flower shop? He hated that he had daydreamed about it enough that he knew exactly what kind of kid he wanted. (A girl, by the way- with the rest depending on if he could convince his ideal lady of being with him.) Either way, seeing Ephemer’s 19 month old son brought about feelings of wanting to be a father one day, while also making him glad that he wasn’t.

Furthermore, he wasn’t used to Ephemer being dressed to the nines either. The teen couldn’t help but stare at his coworker as Ephemer handed off various baby supplies to Skuld. It was a weird juxtaposition seeing Ephemer in a well pressed suit, and passing a wrinkled and well worn duffle bag to Skuld.

“There should be more than enough diapers to cover any accidents he’ll have in the next few hours.” Ephemer told Skuld. “Anora insisted we keep him from eating the foods that make him super gassy, just in case. She’s a smart one, that Anora. There’s a reason why she’s my wife.”

“Don’t have to convince me.” Skuld snorted. “Don’t know why you’re so dressed up for a night to the movies. We all know you two are going to be making out in the back of the car by the end of the night.”

Ephemer’s face immediately went up in a deep scarlet. He let out a sheepish laugh as he scratched the back of his neck. Skuld just laughed at him.

“Luca will be safe with me,” she then told him. “We’ve got a supply truck coming around in another hour or so, Thursdays are usually kinda dead anyway, and Ven’ll be here manning the main front. The next four hours will go by quickly.”

“I knew he’d be safe.” Ephemer laughed, albeit somewhat forced. “It’s how often you’ll be actually looking after him. You’re the one babysitting, and you’re still at work.”

Skuld gave Ephemer a rather dry laugh of her own before telling him, “I can do both.”

At Ephemer’s skeptic raise of his eyebrow, Skuld went on to say, “I will. After the truck gets here, my attention will be on nothing else.”

“Right…” Ephemer mused. He gave a shake of his head before getting down to Luca’s height. His son had been politely standing next to him while the old friends talked. Luca seemed to have understanding of what was going on- Ven just couldn’t get over those large blue-grey eyes. They just… stared between Ephemer and Skuld with severe inquisition. It almost made Luca look a good three or so years older. So young and yet so serious looking…

(Oh no, now Ven wanted to ask Brain if there were any surviving photos of Sabrina as a baby. She would hate knowing that he saw them, but he had to know. Did she always look that serious at a young age too?)

Ephemer gave his son a bright smile- one that was almost returned.

“You be good for Auntie Skuld and Venny, alright Luca?”

The toddler looked at his father for a long time, the wheels turning in his younger mind to register what was said, before giving a little nod. Ephemer grinned as he ruffled his son’s hair. He grunted slightly as he got back up (which Skuld was quick to snicker at) before starting his way out the door.

“See you two in five hours.” Ephemer waved at them.

“You told me earlier it was going to be four.” Skuld refuted, putting a hand on her hip. Ephemer just shrugged.

“You know I have a hard time keeping my hands off my wife, Skuld. And without a kid around? We’re practically kids again ourselves.”

Skuld let out a small ‘tsk’ sound and smirk. “Yeah, yeah. Get outta here. Go conceive your next child away from the flower shop for once.”

Even with his face flushing again, Ephemer gave her a playful salute before closing the door behind him. Skuld just looked at the door for a moment or so just to shake her head at him.

“Come up, Luca.” she then told the toddler, bending down a bit and extending her arms to him. “We gotta look out for the delivery guy.”

Luca gave her a glare so mean, Ven had to cough to cover up his laugh. The toddler even went into a string of sounds that could have been interpreted as sass. But he went over to Skuld, regardless. He allowed himself to be picked up by the woman, and together they disappeared into the back room. With the boss out of earshot, Ven felt free to let out the snicker he had been holding in for the past three minutes. The last thing on his mind was how Skuld would inevitably take her work at the flower shop over watching Luca. He’d figure it out soon- he just wished that peace had lasted a bit longer.

. . .

A good hour or so later, and Ven decided to make himself useful by making sure everything had a price sticker on it. No ceramic pot could go unturned without a sticker declaring its probably high ball price. Better than just sitting at the register and drifting off into who knows where until Skuld caught him.

Ven happened to notice Luca out of the corner of his eye. The toddler casually walked (or as casually as you could at 19 months, since you didn’t quite have the best balance still) out of the backroom and into the main store front. Ven slowed his movements a bit to watch Luca look over the area, then go over to a certain large vase with some faux reeds in it. It was rather amusing watching Luca plonk his little bottom down in front of it.  Ven gave a quiet snort before properly returning to his work. He almost had to stop because something new happened.

Luca started babbling at the flowers.

At least, Ven thought it still counted as babbling. Every now and again he could pick out sounds that certainly sounded like real words; like ‘same’, and ‘daddy’, and ‘kiss-shun’, and ‘mommy.’ Or maybe Ven was imagining it. Putting price tags on everything was ridiculously boring.

“Ven!” Skuld suddenly shouted from the backroom, scaring both Ven and Luca alike. “Do you see Luca?”

“Yeah.” he lazily replied. “He’s out here talking to some reeds.”

Skuld immediately left the backroom just to glare at Ven. He flinched a little at her gaze.

“Get him away from those!” she demanded. “I’m still going over what’s come in.”

Ven blinked at her, then looked over at Luca. The kid was literally doing nothing but staring at the other flowers now. He probably even had an acute awareness he was being talked about, but not being talked to. Ven turned his attention back to Skuld with a face that was trying to feign innocence.

“Why? They're edible.”

“Not when you're still able to choke on fine cut food!” his boss immediately retorted. All it did was spark a moment of defiance.

“Skuld, there are full grown adults that still choke on normal cut food. Your point is getting more moot by the moment.”

“I can't believe you and Sabrina aren't dating yet.” Skuld mumbled under her breath. “You share the same amount of… Urg. Just get Luca away from those flowers!”

Perhaps a bit too amused at his superior's frustration, Ven let out a short chortle before setting the price stickers down. Skuld only grimaced as she went to the backroom again. Still grinning, Ven walked over to Luca, finding himself bemused by the kid still, and asked without meaning any harm; “Whatcha doing there, Luca?”

The toddler immediately jumped, then looked up at Ven with wide, curious eyes. Slowly, as if he were aware he could be in trouble, Luca's little face started to break. Poor Ven was in no way prepared for the kid's wailing. He immediately flinched and covered his ears at the sound.

“You're not in trouble! You're not in trouble!” Ven quickly said, awkwardly making his way down to the floor to be at Luca's eye level. “Just gotta be careful, alright?”

But this didn't stop Luca from crying. If it was any consideration, Ven was sure the toddler didn't even hear him. Cursing under his breath, Ven looked around the flower shop for anything that could distract Luca. There were some plush toys in a display close by. Maybe one of those would work? Ven wasn’t going to leave it up to guessing. He quickly went to the display, quickly located and snatched a dolphin plush, then went back over to Luca.

“Here there buddy,” he said, bringing the plush close to Luca’s eye range. “Do you wanna cuddle buddy?”

Luca stopped crying just long enough to give the plush a glance, shove it of his eyesight, and let out a rather clear, very angry, “No!”

Ven let out a long (and very tired) sigh of defeat. Wasn't Skuld the one that was supposed to be babysitting this tiny person? Why did it feel like he was doing all the work?

But first, he had to shut Luca up.

What else could Ven distract Luca with? Better question- what did Luca even like? Was there anything in this store that could calm this kid long enough so he wasn’t the loudest sound on the block? All this crying had to be stressful for him. Heck, it was stressful for Ven! An even better question right about now was ‘where on earth is Skuld?!’ because that was rather important too. Could she really not hear Luca wailing from the backroom? Maybe he should check on her…

Luca’s crying hit a note so high pitched the Ven flinched. He turned his attention back to the kid in defeat. Unsure of what else to do, he tried to rack his brain on what Ephemer and Anora did to calm Luca down. But that was just the thing, wasn’t it? Usually Luca wasn’t whining. Ven did get an idea though. Carefully, Ven put his hand on Luca’s head, trying to mimic the way Ephemer ruffled his son’s hair. To his surprise, it actually seemed to work. Luca started to settle down little by little until he gave nothing more than a few sniffles.

“There you go, buddy.” Ven cooed, sounding like he was more addressing an angry bear than a child. “Feel better now?”

Luca rubbed his eyes before turning to Ven. It was slow to make sure Ven didn’t stop gently kneading his fingers into Luca’s hair. The toddler gave Ven a few tired blinks. Apparently crying for five minutes straight was particularly draining.

“Tell me.” Luca said to Ven, pointing to an arrangement to his left. Ven blinked. He didn’t hallucinate that sentence, right?

“Tell you what? About the flowers?”

Luca gave him a determined nod.

“But I don’t know-” Ven tried to tell him, but Luca was a smart kid. He purposely started to make his face break again, and even started a little whimper before Ven caught on. “Wait, wait, wait!” Ven quickly stammered, removing his hand from Luca’s head to throw them up in defense. “I might know some stuff. And look, I could probably look some things up on my phone too. Wouldn’t that be cool?”

Still milking his leverage over Ven , Luca wiped his eyes as he gave another nod. Ven let out a relieved sigh. It should be that hard to fake what he knew about plants, right? As Luca gave a long yawn, Ven hoped that he could probably even be able to lull the kid into sleep. Honestly, he was practically doing Skuld’s job for her.

. . .

Ephemer and Anora returned to the flower shop thirty minutes earlier than expected. They seemed to be in good spirits, so the date must have gone on well enough. Skuld was quick to hand Luca and his baby paraphernalia back to his parents.

“He didn’t give you any trouble, did he?” Ephemer asked, taking the duffle bag as Anora got their son.

“Not at all.” Skuld affirmed. “I was a bit preoccupied with the shipment that came in, so Ven helped out a bit.”

Hearing this, Ephemer and Anora looked at Skuld like she had proposed murder. Ephemer was the one who let out a forced laugh before saying,  “Skuld…? Your shift ended before I dropped Luca off, that’s why we left him with you.”

“Knew it.” Ven mumbled under his breath. The parents looked at him before returning their attention to the rather unapologetic Skuld.

“I still watched him.” she insisted. “And now I still have some work to do before heading home for the night. Ven’s shift is ending for the night, and we all know he won’t do the inventory count tonight.”

“Because at this time of night, we do it in the morning.” Ephemer told her. Skuld didn’t seem to pick up on his annoyance. Instead, she went to the backroom before anyone could stop her.

Ephemer let out a long sigh of exhaustion. He should have known better, honestly. He looked at Anora and grinned. It was meant as a signal for them to head out, but Anora had other plans. She carefully nudged Ephemer, giving him a small look that he could read well. Ephemer nodded before digging into his wallet to find a twenty dollar bill.

“Here Ven, take this,” he offered. Ven just looked back at him with the most bewildered look. Ephemer saw it and just laughed. “We all know how Skuld gets when she doesn’t leave work. I’ll come in on my next shift with another twenty for you.”

“But I don’t-” Ven tried to argue, but it was Anora who stepped up to place a gentle hand on Ventus’s elbow. The teen froze right then and there. It was honestly the more polite thing to do- Anora didn’t really have much of a grip on him.

“Thank you for watching Luca tonight.” she carefully told him- for a moment it made him wonder if she thought she was to blame for some reason. “If Ephemer doesn’t pay you back, I will. And that’s a promise.”

“O-oh no, ma’am.” Ven quickly stuttered out. “It’s fine! Honest! It wasn’t even a big deal. Nah. Not really. Luca’s a pretty cool kid when you sit down and play with him. Pretty smart too. Nothing to sweat about. Hardly interrupted anything. Really.”

Anora offered a polite smile, although Ven felt guilty under it all the same.

“See you later, Ven!” Ephemer waved as the family left the shop. Ven waved back, still feeling guilty from Anora’s generosity. Luca watched Ven from other his mother’s shoulder- the expression was particularly hard to decipher. Ven just hoped it was one of respect. That little brat better not forget what Ven did for him today.

“Definitely having a girl.” Ven mumbled under his breath before clocking out for the day.

[bamby0304]

The Hart III: Secrets

Chapter Ten- Scared to Death

Series Masterlist

Summary: Three months… Dean was gone for three months and now he’s back. He’s back and he truly has no idea how much things have changed. Life moved on while Dean was in Hell, and now things are complicated. With new faces and troubles right around the corner, will the trio find a way to come back together? Or has all hope been lost?

Warnings: Angst. Violence.

Bamby

SPOV

Lizzie and I stood by the deputy's desk in the Sheriff's station. We'd left Dean in the car outside. He'd been drinking more, and Lizzie had noted that bringing a drunk 'FBI agent' into the station wasn't the best idea.

"This is the Garland file." Deputy Linus offered us the file he'd grabbed for us.

Lizzie took it from him. "Thanks." She gave it a quick read as I looked over her shoulder to glance at it as well.

"Deputy, according to this," I gestured to the file, "Luther Garland's cause of death was physical trauma. What does that mean?"

Deputy Linus shrugged. "The guy died twenty years ago, before my time. Sorry."

"Then can we talk to the sheriff?" I asked.

Looking behind him, the deputy took a moment before shaking his head. "Um, he's out sick today."

"Well, if you see him, will you have him call us? We're staying at the Bluebird," I informed him.

Lizzie closed the file. "Do you mind if we take this?" she asked, earning a shake of the head from Linus. "Thanks." Giving him a quick smile she then turned to me, nodding.

The two of us left then, heading for the car. As we exited the building, both of us sighed at the sight of Dean in the back seat of the Impala, looking nervous as his eyes darted to everything that moved.

"I'm not exactly Dean's biggest fan right now, but I would so prefer grumpy, over-protective Dean over scared-of-everything Dean," Lizzie noted as she pulled the car keys out of her pocket.

EPOV

I walked next to Dean, keeping an eye on him as we moved through Peaceful Pines, a retirement home. He had been getting worse and worse with each passing moment, and I was really starting to worry. The humour of it all was long gone now.

As we rounded the corner, Dean jumped and gasped, startled by an elderly woman that was going the opposite way of us.

"It's okay," I assured him as he looked away from her, leaning against the wall, trying to calm his breathing. "I'm not gonna let anything hurt you." Giving him a gentle smile, I tilted my head so he could see me.

His eyes darted around nervously. "This isn't gonna work."

"Sure it is." Resting my hand on his shoulder I turned him around and led us over to Sam where he waited by a door for us.

"Come on, these badges are fake," Dean argued. "What if we get busted? We could go to jail."

Reaching Sam, I turned to Dean again, resting my hands on his shoulders. "Okay, Dean, I need you to breath and relax for me. Okay?" Nodding, Dean took a breath. "Better?" Unfortunately, he shook his head no.

Sam sighed. "Just come on." He gestured for us to enter the room, slapping his brother's hands as Dean began to scratch. "Don't scratch."

Taking the lead, I tugged moved over to the elderly gentleman that sat by the window- he was the only other person in the room besides us. Putting on a charming and kind smile, I stepped up to him.

"Mr Garland?" When he looked up at me, I went on, "Hi, I'm Agent Whitford. These are my partners, Agent Tyler, and Agent Perry. We're with the FBI and were wondering if you could answer a few questions for us. They're about your brother Luther."

Watching the three of us suspiciously, he stretched his hand out. "Let me see some I.D."

"Certainly." Sam nodded as we all handed over our badges.

While Mr Garland looed them over, Dean began to shift nervously, causing the older man to look up at him. "Those are real, obviously," Dean chuckled. "I mean, who would pretend to be an FBI agent, huh? That's just nutty."

Believing us- surprisingly- Mr Garland handed the badges back. "What do you want to know?"

"Uh, well," as we all took a seat, Sam took the lead in the questioning, "according to this, your brother Luther died of physical trauma," he noted, which caused Mr Garland to scoff. "You don't agree?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, then, what would you call it?"

"Don't matter what an old man thinks."

"Mr Garland, everything matters. We're just looking for the truth." I gave him a gentle smile. "Please."

Watching me for a moment, Mr Garland thought about it before sighing. "Everybody was scared of Luther. They called him a monster. He was too big, too mean-looking. Just too different. Didn't matter he was the kindest man I ever knew. Didn't matter he'd never hurt no one. A lot of people failed Luther. I was one of them. I was a widower with three young 'uns. And I told myself there was nothing I could do."

"Mr Garland, um," Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the drawing Dean had found earlier, "do you recognise this woman?"

Mr Garland took a look at the picture, seeming to recognise the woman in an instant. "It's Jessie O'Brien. Her man, Frank, killed Luther."

"How do you know that?" Sam asked, an unsure smile on his lips.

"Everybody knows. They just don't talk about it. Jessie was a receptionist at the mill. She was always real nice to Luther, and he had a crush on her. But Frank didn't like it. And when Jessie went missing, Frank was sure that Luther had done something to her. Turns out the old gal killed herself, but Frank didn't know that. They found Luther with a chain wrapped around his neck. He was dragged up and down the stretch outside that plant till he was past dead."

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This is not good. Shit, this is really, really not good...

"And O'Brien was never arrested?" Dean asked.

"I screamed to every cop in town. They didn't want to look into Frank. He was a pillar of the community. My brother was just the town freak."

"You must have hated Frank O'Brien," Sam noted.

But Mr Garland surprised us with his response. "I did for a long time, but life's too short for hate, son. And frank wasn't thinking straight. His wife had vanished, he was terrified. A damn shame he had to put Luther through the same, but...that's fear. It spreads and spreads."

...

As we exited the retirement home I looked up at the night sky. We're running out of time...

Dean took the lead, walking down the stairs and towards Baby, gesturing to the scratches on his arms. "Now we know what these are, road rash. And I'm guessing Luther swallowed some wood chips when he was being dragged down that road."

"Makes sense." Sam nodded as we all stopped by Baby's hood. "You're experiencing his death in slow motion."

"Yeah well, not slow enough, huh? Say we burn some bones and get me healthy."

I tensed, looking from Dean to Sam, the youngest Winchester and I sharing a look. "Uh... Dean... it's not gonna be that easy."

"No, no, it'll be that easy." Dean's wide terrified eyes looked to both of us. "Why wouldn't it be that easy?"

"Luther was road-hauled," Sam started. "His body was ripped to pieces. He was probably scattered all over that road. There's no way we're gonna find all the remains."

The hope in Dean's eyes faded with each word Sam said. "You're kidding me."

"Look, we'll just have to figure something else out," Sam offered.

"You know what? Screw this." Dean started walking away.

"What? Dean!" I called after him. "Dean, come on."

"No." shaking his head, he turned to me. "No, don't 'come on' me. I mean, what are we even doing?!"

"We're hunting a ghost," Sam answered as if it was that simple... which it really was.

"A ghost, exactly! Who does that?"

"Us," Sam and I responded at the same time.

"Us? Right. And that is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, come on, we hunt monsters! What the hell?! I mean, normal people, they see a monster, and they run. But not us, no, no, no, we- we search out things that want to kill us. Yeah? Huh? Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people! We, are insane! You know, and then there's the bad diner food and then the skeevy motel rooms and then the truck-stop waitress with the bizarre rash." His tone started to get more and more freaked as he started to pace. "I mean, who wants this life? Huh? Seriously?

"Do you two actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don't think so! I mean, I drive too fast. And I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again, a-and I sing along. I'm annoying, I know that. And you," he gestured to Sam, "you're gassy! You eat half a burrito, and you get toxic!" He looked to me. "And you, well... it's weird with you now, with the boyfriend, and the fire, and the everything." He shook his head. "I mean, you know what? You can forget it." Turning, he started to leave again.

"Whoa, Dean." Sam moved to follow his brother. "Where are you going?"

"Stay away from me Sam, okay? Cause I am done with it," Dean yelled over his shoulder before he paused and turned to us one last time. "I'm done with the monsters and- and- and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse. I'm out. I'm done. Quit!"

Sam and I could do nothing as we watched him walk away.

"Well..." I sighed, "now what?"

DPOV

Walking down the road, I had been adjusting my tie when I heard the growls. The angry growls coming from behind me. When I'd turned, that when I saw it, the dog. The scary, fluffy, dog with the pink bow on its head.

That's when I'd ran.

I ran so fast I had seen the homeless man around the corner as he dug through the trash. I ended up almost crashing into him, but I'd luckily stumbled and moved out of the way first.

He turned to me confused, with a look on his face that clearly said he thought I was insane.

"Run!" I warned him, pointing to the dog. "It'll kill you!"

But instead of waiting to see if he would listen to my warning, I made a break for it, running again. Running so hard and fast, never looking back as I headed to the only safe place I knew- Sam and Liz.

...

The room door opened as Liz and Sam walked in, surprised and relieved to see me sitting on the bed.

"Oh, thank God." Liz let out a breath as she moved over to kneel in front of me. "We were worried sick."

"We looked everywhere for you, Dean. How the hell did you get here?" Sam asked as he moved to sit on the bed next to mine.

"Ran." I admitted, still a little puffed. "What do we do now? I got less than four hours on the clock. I'm gonna die."

"Yeah, you are." Sam nodded. "You're going back."

I frowned, confused. "Back?"

"Downstairs, Dean."

"To Hell," Liz added as she stood and took a step back.

"It's about damn time, too. Truth is," Sam turned to me, his eyes flashing yellow, "you've been a real pain in my ass."

My eyes went wide as my heart began to pound. I looked to Liz for help, only to see her grinning down at me, her eyes yellow as well.

"No!" I jumped to my feet, but before I could do anything, Liz nodded her head once, pushing me against the wall with her mind. Struggling, I watched the two of them move towards me. "You get out of them, you evil sons of a bitch!"

Sam laughed, stopping in front of me. "No one's possessing us, Dean. This is what we're going to become."

"This is what we want to become." Liz grinned as she stood next to the demon that was my brother, she turned to look at him suggestively before reaching up to run a hand along his chest.

Looking down at her, Sam had the same heated look in his eyes before he turned to me once more. "There's nothing you can do about it." Suddenly he reached forward, grabbing my throat as he started to choke me.

I coughed a struggled, watching Sam and he squeezed the life out of me while Liz stood there with a look of amusement, like she wanted this. Like she wanted Sam to kill me. Never had I ever seen something so terrifying than these two now, with their yellow eyes boring into mine...

A hard slap to my face had my head jerk back suddenly.

"You back with us?" Liz asked.

Taking a deep breath, I looked over at her and Sam. They no longer had yellow eyes, the evil gleam gone from their gazes. They seemed completely normal…

Did I just imagine all of that?

Giving me a soft smile, Liz gently grabbed my arm. "Why don't we get you to bed, huh? Tuck you in? Get you all rugged up and safe in the blankets?"

I didn't resist or argue as she did exactly that, and I had no problem knowing that she had stayed up all night, watching me while Sam did some more research on the couch. At least then, every time I woke up from a nightmare, she was there, right next to me, offering soothing words as she stroked my hair.

SPOV

Lizzie and I sat on the hood of the Impala, waiting for Bobby. We'd left Dean back at the hotel with some food and the tv, hoping that in the short time he was alone, nothing too bad would happen. But as much as Lizzie had wanted to stay- and so did I- we both knew we had to leave him to fix him.

We were both really worried, but I was actually surprised at how worried Lizzie was. At first she'd laughed and found it all amusing, but last night? She'd sat next to Dean, on his bed, watching him. Not once had she left his side. She didn't nap, or rest, or anything. She was wide awake as she made sure nothing happened to him.

Getting off the hood, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her pills, popping one into her mouth. Taking a quick drink of her water, she closed her eyes and let the pill slide down her throat, trying to relax.

"He's gonna be fine," I assured her.

"Tell that to the three victims this thing has already killed," she mumbled.

I had just been about to say something in the hopes of it helping, but before I could Bobby pulled up, stopping his car on the dirt road, a few feet away from us.

"Howdy, Sam. Lizzie." He nodded, stepping out of his car and heading towards us.

"Hey, Bobby."

As he came over to us, Lizzie stepped forward to give him a hug. "Thanks for coming."

He rubbed her back. "Of course." As they pulled apart, he looked around. "Where's Dean?"

"Home sick," I answered.

"So, have his hallucinations started yet?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "A few hours ago."

"How we doing on time?" Bobby asked as we all moved to lean against the hood again, Lizzie in the middle.

"We saw the coroner about 8:00 a.m. Monday morning, so, uh," looking at my watch, I sighed, "just under two hours. What about you? You find anything?"

He'd brought a little blue book with him and handed it over to me now. "This uh, encyclopedia of spirits dates to the Edo period."

I opened the first page to give it a read, only to find it wasn't in English. "You can read Japanese?"

To prove a point- I guess- Bobby answered in Japanese, "Kimi ga umareru mae kara zutto dayo."

Lizzie gave a little grin as she looked to me, seeing the confused look on my face. "He said he's known how, since long before you were born."

I was impressed. "You can speak it too?"

"Just a bit." Shrugging, she added, "Learnt from the best." She gestured to Bobby over her shoulder with her thumb.

"Anyway," Bobby got back to business, "this book lists a kind of ghost that could be our guy. It uh, infects people with fear. It's called a Buru Buru."

"It say how to kill it?"

"Same as usual. Burn the remains."

"Wonderful. Uh," I sighed, raking a hand through my hair, "is there a Plan 'B'?"

"Well, the Buru Buru is born of fear. Hell, it is fear. And the lore says we can kill it with fear."

"So we have to scare a ghost to death?" He must be joking...

Bobby shrugged at my question. "Pretty much."

Shaking my head, I looked out at the road, trying to think of what to do... "How the hell we gonna do that?"

EPOV

I looked down at my phone, reading my last message for the millionth time.

I'm gonna come get you this afternoon Missing you too much Don't forget your medication Love you xx - T

I knew there was no way Sam and Dean- or even Bobby for that matter- were going to be happy, but there was no way I could say no to Tristian. I meant that literally by the way. There was just something about him, I found it hard to tell him no.

Closing the message, I dialed Dean number and lifted the phone to my ear, waiting for him to pick up.

"Hey."

"Hey!" I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my lips. "How are you?"

"Been better." The nerves in his voice were thick and clear.

"Well, good news. You're gonna be fine. We have a plan."

"What is it?"

"A plan..."

There was a moment before he spoke again, sounding just as unsure as I felt. "Is it a good one?"

"It's a plan, Dean. Don't worry, about it, okay? You'll be fine." Before he could say anything else, I hung up and turned to Sam. "This has got to be the worst plan in the history of bad plans."

Bobby nodded, agreeing with me as he looked to Sam. "I know I said, 'scare the ghost to death', but this?"

"Hey, you got a better idea, I'm listening." Sam shrugged, but when no one came up with anything better, he gave me a short nod, and with that, we headed into the mill guns and chain in hand.

DPOV

As I sat on the couch in the hotel room, waiting, trying not to freak out even though ever fiber in my being was absolutely terrified, I focused on my breathing, on staying calm. I trusted Liz and Sam. I was sure they knew what they were doing. I had to believe they'd get me through this.

The sound of growling and howling caught my attention.

Heart beating fast, I looked around with wide eyes, waiting. They were coming from me, I knew it. Getting to the ground, I turned the chair around as I hid behind it, hoping they wouldn't see me.

The door began to rattle and shake as they pushed against it, trying to get in, trying to get me. Their angry, animal growls and snarls, I could practically feel their hot breaths on me. Every nerve remembered how it felt to be ripped apart by the teeth and claws.

Suddenly the door burst opened, breaking off the hinges.

But it wasn't Hellhounds that came in. It was the sheriff.

"Sheriff?" I stood, looking to him, confused. that was until I saw the gun in his hand... "What are you doing?"

"Why are you looking into Luther Garland's death?"

My eyes trailed up his arm, seeing blood and scratches just like we'd seen on the victims. "Hey, hey, you're- you're sick. You're sick. You're sick, all right? Just- just like me, okay?" I showed him my arm. "You got to relax."

Instead of doing as I said, he came closer, hitting me across the face, making me stumble back. "Frank O'Brien was my friend. So he made a mistake. So I didn't bust him. So what? And you're gonna bring me down over that?! No, sir." Lifting the gun, he aimed it at me.

I reacted quickly, knocking it out of his grasp.

We began to struggle and fight each other. I was just trying to stop him, but I could see the sheriff was ready to kill. To save his own ass. Whatever he was scared of, it was blinding him completely. All he saw was the fear...

Eventually, I managed to push him hard enough to get him to the ground. He didn't get up though... clutching at his chest, hyperventilating, he watched with terrified eyes as I stepped up to him.

"Get away from me!"

"Al, you got to calm down!" I warned him, seeing where this was about to go...

"Step back!" he managed to say before he had a heart attack and died, right in front of me...

SPOV

Lizzie and I walked around cautiously, my gun raised as she held the chain we needed for the plan. Luther hadn't appeared though yet, and I was starting to wonder if he was going to show up at all. We didn't have time to wait... Dean wouldn't last much longer.

"Any luck?" Bobby asked over the walkie.

"I don't know what's wrong, Bobby," I told him as Lizzie and I entered the room where we'd seen Luther before. "Last time he came right at us. It's almost like he's, uh..." Looking to Lizzie, I could see she was thinking the same thing I was at that moment. "Like he's scared."

"So now what?"

Putting my shotgun away, I moved over to the desk where Luther's drawings sat. "I guess we got to make him angry." Putting the walkie down, I then grabbed one of the drawings and tore it in half. "Hey, Luther!"

The machines turned on...

Lizzie stepped over to help, placing the chain on the desk as she began to rip the drawings as well. "Come on, Luther! Where are you?"

"Luther!" I called. "What are you waiting for?"

We felt him before we turned. Lizzie and I both knew he was there. The temperature had dropped, and we could just feel another presence.

Turning around, we came face to face with Luther... and he did not look happy.

DPOV

I sat at the end of Sam's bed. The blanket from my bed was lying over the sheriff's body, so I wouldn't have to look at it. But I didn't have the guts to leave the room. Which left me sitting here, scratching at my arm as I waited out my time...

"You're going back." I heard Sam's voice echo around the room. "It's about damn time too," it laughed, followed by the sound of Hellhounds barking.

Looking down at my watch, shaking and scratching, I couldn't keep myself from checking the time over and over again, watching as each second passed by. Each second bringing me closer and closer to death.

Deep down, I knew it was going to happen. Liz and Sam had failed. I was going to die. I was going back to Hell. I knew it. The thumping of my heart told me. The line of sweat covering me. The shake in my hands. The empty feeling in my stomach telling me that something really, really bad was going to happen...

My attention was pulled to an object on the floor, sitting by my feet. Reaching down, I grabbed it, finding that it was a Bible. Hoping that it was a sign, I brought it to my lips and closed my eyes as I began to pray.

"Hi, Dean."

My eyes shot open.

Slowly I looked to my right, seeing a little girl sitting next to me. But not just any little girl. The little girl Lilith had possessed that night I'd died. The night the Hellhounds had taken me to Hell.

Dressed in a sweet, pink dress, with flower clips in her hair, she simply sat there, smiling at me.

"Huh, no!" I looked away from her, hoping that if I couldn't see her, she'd disappear. "No!"

"Yes! It's me, Lilith." Leaning over, she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. "Oh, I missed you so much!" She smiled up at me. "It's time to go back now."

Sliding away from her, I got to my feet, refusing to look at her still as I moved away from the bed. "You- you are not real!"

"What's the matter, Dean? Don't you remember all the fun you had down there?" she asked. I couldn't help but look at her then as memories of it all flashed in my mind. Memories of the blood and pain... "You do remember," she stated matter-of-factly as she got to her feet. "Four months is like forty years in hell. Like doggy years. And you remember every second."

A pain shot through my chest, causing me to hunch over and groan in pain as I clutched at my heart. "You are not real," I insisted through the pain, dropping to my knees.

Stepping closer to me, she grabbed my face, forcing me to look up at her. "It doesn't matter." her eyes turned white, her voice changing, the tone more malicious and dark. "You're still gonna die. You're still gonna burn."

As she let go of my face and stepped back, I continued to look up at her. "Why me? Why'd I get infected?"

"Silly goose." She put her hands on her hips, grinning smugly at me. "You know why, Dean. Listen to your heart."

"Wha...?"

"Baboom." She leaned closer, the word causing the pain in my chest to increase. "Baboom." She watched as I groaned and fell back. "Baboom." Breathing was suddenly impossible as my muscles tensed and ached, everything screaming in panic. "Baboom!"

EPOV

I flew across the room, crashing into the old lockers. Luther was big and strong... and faster than we'd anticipated. As much as we could have shot him, or I could have flung him around all day, we didn't have time to waste. We needed to grab him. Unfortunately, that seemed impossible.

So far, we hadn't had the chance, seeing as he'd made good use of his strength and size, pushing us around like ragdolls. We were nothing to him. Not when he was so enraged at us.

Grabbing Sam, he threw him to the ground. Sam tried to scramble away, but Luther already had him. His hands wrapping around Sam's throat.

I took this chance to act, seeing him choking Sam, too busy to take notice of me. Looking to the desk, I spotted the chain sitting right where I'd left it. Without using my hand, I sent the chain soaring through the air and over to Luther, wrapping it around his neck.

His hands let go of Sam's throat as he tried to pull at the chain, but it was pointless. There was no escaping now.

"Bobby, punch it!" Sam yelled.

A second later, Luther was dragged out through the double doors as Bobby floored it, pulling the ghost along. I couldn't see what was happening, but I knew Luther would be long gone in a matter of moments.

Sure enough, the machines suddenly turned off. Luther was gone.

DPOV

I reached into the back of Baby, pulling out some beers. "So you guys road-hauled a ghost with a chain?" I asked Sam, Liz and Bobby as I turned to them, offering the drinks- which Bobby refused and the others took.

Sam nodded, opening his drink. "Iron chain etched with spell work."

Moving to lean on Baby, between Liz and Sam, I pictured what that would have looked like. "Hmm, that's a new one," I noted, taking a drink.

"It was what he was most afraid of." Sam shrugged. "It was pretty brutal, though."

"On the upside, I'm still alive, so uh, go team!"

"Go team!" Liz cheered, raising her drink.

Sam chuckled lightly. "Yeah. How you feeling, by the way?"

I shrugged. "Fine." It wasn't a lie. The sickness was gone. I was back to normal...

"You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary," Bobby teased.

"I'm fine," I insisted. "You want to go hunting? I'll hunt." Pushing off the car, I stood, ready to head out if that's what they wanted. "I'll kill anything."

Sam grinned. "Aw."

"He's adorable." Bobby chuckled, Liz and Sam joining. I just looked away, taking another drink. Sighing, Bobby started for his car. "I got to get out of here. You three drive safe."

"Actually." Liz quickly took another drink before handing me the bottle. Turning, she reached into the back seat of Baby and pulled out her bag. "You mind driving me into town? Tristan's gonna pick me up at the hotel."

Bobby paused a moment, looking from her, to Sam and me. I could see he was just as unsure as I was. None of us had met Tristan. We knew nothing about him. All we knew was that months ago, Liz insisted that she never wanted to be in a relationship. Yet look at her now...

"We'll see you later, Lizzie." Sam smiled. "Don't be gone too long."

"I'll miss you too much." She beamed, heading for Bobby's car.

Sighing, Bobby turned to follow her, knowing he couldn't keep her from this guy even if he wanted to. "Take care of yourselves," he called to Sam and me.

We watched as they drove off, leaving the two of us alone... again. These days it was weird for it to just be Sam and I. Liz was always around. She was family. She was part of the package. With her coming and going... it just didn't sit right...

"So uh... so, what did you see?" Sam asked, pulling me from my thoughts. "Near the end, I mean."

"Oh, besides a cop beating my ass?"

"Seriously."

I thought about it for a moment before turning to him again. His eyes flashed yellow for a moment, making me freeze. I knew it was just the light, but it made me think of all my fears... Everything that we were going through, and everything that was coming our way.

Looking away again, I cleared my throat, coming up with a ridiculous lie. "Howler monkeys. Whole roomful of them. Those things creep the hell out of me."

He sighed, nodding. "Right."

Turning to him, I shrugged, playing it cool. "No, just the usual stuff, Sammy. Nothing I can't handle."

Bamby

[michaelxrhodes-blog]

Little Jelly Bean || FEDERHODES

WHO: Michael Rhodes and Morgan Federov-Rhodes @morganfrhodes

WHERE: SF General Hospital

WHEN: Sunday, March 17, 2019

WHAT: Mike and Morgan’s daughter arrives.

WARNINGS: birth, nongraphic; hospitals

Mike was in the kitchen, making breakfast. It was a chilly Sunday morning and he was glad he had taken the day off from work. The past week had been exhausting with classes, and preparing for the baby. He was almost ready for their little angel to arrive already. "Morgan! How do you want your eggs? Scrambled?" he asked, as he added a dash of salt to the omelet he was making. He had chopped up some veggies and bacon as well, since he was pretty hungry. He had come home that morning from his run and showered before starting to cook.

Morgan was sat on the couch, she was more than ready for Madelyn to come. Morning sickness was over but she was gassy, so damn gassy and nothing fit, she couldn't reach anything. Hell the last time she showered she had to ask Mike to help her shave her legs. She was determined to paint her toe nails though, so she sat on the couch with paper towels under her feet and she looked up when her husbands voice rang through her ears. "Yes please babe! Be right there." She called out, finishing up her last toe. It may have taken twice as long as it usually would, but she did it. Carefully she waddled through their home with the foam spreader between her toes until she reached the table. "it smells /amazing/ in here."

Mike "Alright!" Mike called back, starting another batch of eggs for her, making them exactly as she wanted them. It wasn't too long before he had finished with the eggs, toast, some hash browns, with some coffee for himself and orange juice for Morgan. "Breakfast is done, babe," he called her over again after setting everything on their dining table. He walked into the living room and sat on the arm of the chair next to where she was. "You good there?" he smirked, giving her an amused look. "Come on, baby mama. Let's feast," he winked at her.

Morgan looked up when she heard her husband coming, she smiled at him when he took a seat on the arm of the chair she was in and gently placed her feet on the ground. "Shush up you, i'm just fine. At least I didn't ask you to pain them for me, hm?" she mused, placing one hand on his shoulder to use it to help herself stand and she holds her hands out to him. "I like it when you call me baby mama." She winked, smacking his ass before she set off for their dining table.

Mike kissed her cheek and hummed. "Well, considering I have no artistic ability, you're probably the lucky one in that case," he grinned and helped her up. "I like it too," he said, and before he could say anything else, she smacked him and he laughed, following after her, wrapping his arms carefully around her, rubbing her belly and he kissed her neck softly. "You're adorable," he mused, before sitting down. "Well, Sunday breakfast... I got a little carried away,"

Morgan laughed softly, nodding her head in agreement. "This is true, you would end up painting the skin on my toes. But that is what nail polish remover is for." SHe mused, grinning as he followed and held her. The blonde stopped, leaning into her husbands touch as he kissed her neck and rubbed her belly. "You see.. you're gonna make me want to take you to our bed and induce my labor early when you do that." she mused, sitting down slowly in her chair. "no, you didn't get carried away. I am /very/ ready to taste it all."

Mike grinned. "Yup, you are probably right about that," he nodded. "Mmm..." he teased her again with another kiss. "Okay, good, because I'm really hungry. So I cooked a lot," he said, helping himself to some of the omelet and toast. "What do you want to do today? Or what do we need to do? I know it's kind of a pain having to run errands now," he wrinkled his nose.

Morgan pouted out her lower lip, she gently poked his chest and she shook her head slowly. "You can't be teasing a pregnant, hormonal woman like this. Not unless you want it back once i'm healed." She hummed, wiggling her brows and she lifted her orange juice and taking a drink before she pulled her plate closer and began to eat from the fullness that was on it. "I was thinking today we could just relax? Maybe watch the horror leprechaun movies?" she asked curiously, biting into her eggs.

Mike "Relaxing sounds pretty good," Michael nodded in agreement. "But I tease you because I love you," he said, and licked over his lips before taking another bite of toast. "Horror leprechaun movies? I almost forgot those were a thing," he laughed softly. "How are you feeling though? Still doing okay? I felt her kicking this morning. She seems pretty excited and wants to escape," he grinned.

Morgan could feel Madelyn moving around, this morning their little babe seemed more active than usual but she figured that was because the due date was coming up sooner rather than later. "I know baby, I love you too." She smiled, then she wiped her lips and tried the hasbrowns he made them, delicious, she thought. "I don't know i guess i feel like since it's St. Patrick's Day we should celebrate in some way, even creepily." Morgan shrugs lightly, one hand dropping to her belly when Mike asked. "I mean.. she is really active today, she keeps moving around and it is a little uncomfortable but honestly? i'm used to the discomfort at this point." she shook her head, continuing on her breakfast.

Mike "That works," he nodded. "Well, since we can't really drink beer, at least we have leprechaun movies right?" he grinned. "It would be fun. Maybe we can make some of those copycat shamrock shakes? That could be a fun addition, right?" he hummed. "She's been moving around lately," he chuckled. "I wonder which one of us he gets that from," he grinned again, before taking a sip of his coffee. "Both of us are coffee lovers and neither one of us knows how to keep still," he laughed softly.

Morgan "See, now this is why you are the love of my life. You know my milkshake addictions well." She said, smiling at him and she easily polished off more of the food sitting on her plate. "She really has, makes me wonder if she's trying to run a marathon in there." she muses, raising a brow at her hsuband when he mentions who she gets it from. "I wish I could have coffee, i've been jonesing for a cup but I won't touch it until after our baby girl is here." She tells him, shifting back a little in her seat and she wrinkled her nose. "She is really moving around." Her hand rubs her tummy gently, looking down at it while she feels a pressure. For a moment she was in shock, looking at the floor as it now was wet as were the pants she was wearing. "Babe...." she said, looking up at him. "I...I..." she swallowed. "Madelyn is coming."

Mike "Hey, I love sports, but I have never ran a marathon, I'll admit it. Running is not my thing," he wrinkled his nose. "Don't worry, you can get some coffee sooner than you think," Mike said, continuing to eat his breakfast. Suddenly Morgan was quiet and he looked up. "Wh-what?" It took him a few moments to wrap his head around what was happening and he nodded. "Oh, shit..." he said, going over to grab their overnight bag that they didn't use last time and he helped Morgan up. "Okay, just breathe, we got this," he nodded. "Oh my god... she's coming..."

Morgan knew they had been through the classes, but nothing she did could have prepared her for what was coming. She tried to breathe the techniques they showed her but she was so damn scared, anxious, and knew the pain would soon follow. The blonde looked at her husband, her expression a mixture of terror, happiness, and shock. "I.. I don't know. I've felt weird all day but i assumed it was my gas pains, clearly i was wrong." She said, trying to breathe properly as he helped her up and she kept one hand on her stomach. The first contraction was coming on and she winced, gripping her husbands arm and she let out a breath she was holding. "We need to get there.." She said, trying to waddle as fast as she could, not even caring that she didn't have shoes on as she went for the part of their house that connected to the garage. "We can call everyone from the hospital."

Mike nodded, getting into a breathing rhythm with Morgan. It was something they learned at the lamaze classes and it was good they had already finished the series by now. "Hey, hey, I got you," Mike kissed her cheek. "I've got your slippers in the bag, don't worry, babe," he said, helping her into his car and setting the slippers on her feet before tossing the bag in the back and climbing into the driver's side. "You're going to be okay," he reassured her, even though he was probably equally as nervous. He quickly drove to the hospital, to the labor and delivery unit where they were admitted right away by one of the nurses.

Morgan was grateful mike was so attentive and helpful to her. So many women she knew? Their husbands were nowhere near as dedicated as him and she knew she was lucky for that. The blonde nodded, following the breathing that he was doing as they got out and settle into his car. Her pants were wet, soaked from when the water broke and she leaned on her husband figuratively and literally as he helped her in and put her slippers on. “Thank you baby.” She said, trying to keep calm but another contraction was on its way and she clenched her teeth slightly as he began the drive. He was fast, getting them there in under twenty minutes and she was quickly greeted with a whee chair waiting for her as another contraction came on. “Don’t leave me.” She asked, looking up st her husband. She knew they needed to do paperwork but that could wait for now.

Mike "I won't leave your side," Michael promised and squeezed his hand. He meant it this time and they were wheeled to a room in little time at all. The nurses knew exactly what to do and helped prep Morgan for Madelyn's arrival. He was even given scrubs too, as they had allowed him to stay in the room with her. He had sent out a couple of texts to their friends about Morgan being in labor already. Mike squeezed her hand again. "I'm right here," he smiled at her while the nurses did their part.

Morgan felt like her head was spinning from the start. This was all new, no matter how many books she read or how hard she prepped? She never could have been ready to bring life into the world. Her contractions were growing closer and closer together and she was changed into her gown before she was able to lay in the hospital bed and begin the birth giving process. When she saw her husband she looked up, taking a hold of his hand and just then another contraction came - this time is was long, hard, and painful so she squeezed his hand very tight while a small groan left her lips. “How much longer do we have to wait?! She clearly wants out /NOW/.” she said, looking up at the nurses then Michael.

Mike raised an eyebrow and winced. "Okay... okay... ow?" he grumbled a little. "Babe... ow..." he was surprised by her hidden strength as she squeezed his hand. He had always teased her about it but now he really felt like she could break his hand. "You are at six centimeters," one of the nurses replied. "More than halfway there," Michael rubbed the back of her hand gently. "Do you want anything? Ice chips? Oh, and your parents are on their way. I think everyone else is coming soon, too," he said. "My mom is about to leave," he said as he pulled his phone out with his free hand.

Morgan knew she probably squeezed Mikes hand a little too tight, but she couldn’t help it. She could feel the pain radiating through her body and she knew when she had to push? It would be ten times worse.hed grip on his hand loosened a little and she took in a deep breath. “Only six?!” She asked, sighing heavily. Maybe she was being a little much, but she was about to push a human life into tnt world and that was a huge deal. She closed her eyes, only to look up at Michael when he rubbed her hand and she slowly nodded her head.”yes to the ice chips please.. and thank you for calling each of our families.” Morgan said softly, closing her eyes again tightly as the next contraction came and she tried to refrain from squeezing mikes hand so tight this time.

Mike "It's okay," Michael chuckled, still surprised by the amount of brute strength in Morgan's tiny body. "You'll get there soon," he said. One of the nurses left to get some ice chips for Morgan and Mike smiled at his wife. "You're welcome," he said. "So we'll be seeing them soon," he nodded, a bit grateful that she didn't crush his hand again this time. He kissed her cheek. "Just breathe," the nurse said, bringing back a cup filled with ice chips for her. Mike's phone bleeped again. "Your mom is at the lobby while your dad is parking and she is on her way up right now... your mom really loves emojis, doesn't she?"

Morgan watched as the nurse left to get her ice chips, she was thankful that they were so attentive. She had heard horror stories of what it was like in the hospital, but for her? So far it had been anything but, aside from the actual birthing and labor process. "I need soon to be now." She grumbled, feeling very cranky. She knew it wasn't Mike's fault, they wanted a baby and they were having one. She couldn't have been happier. But at the same time her body had never been through something like this and it was taking a toll on her. She rolled her head up to look at him when he kissed her cheek and she took a hold of the cup of ice chips that were brought back to her. "Perfect. I don't know how they got here from New York so fast but i am grateful, knowing my mom shes been hold up in a hotel since march 1st just waiting for Maddy." She said, a faint smile settled on her pale face. "God. She does love her emojis, that woman is a nut." she mused but now she felt another contraction coming and this time it was only ten minutes after, as opposed to the twenty and then fifteen that it had been.

Mike kissed her head in an attempt to make her temper cool down a bit. "You're going to be okay, I promise," he nodded at her. He knew she was stressed out and by now it would be nice for Maddy to just show up already. He chuckled. "Knowing your mom... you're probably right..." he said, chuckling at the idea of his mother-in-law waiting in town for her granddaughter to arrive. "Does she know what the eggplant means?" he chuckled, showing Morgan his screen. "Your mother is very interesting, babe," he grinned. Scooting closer, he let Morgan squeeze his hand, ultimately squeezing it back again. "Mrs. Rhodes? I believe your mother is here," one of the nurses said from the doorway.

Morgan tried to control her breathing and her temper, she knew Mike didn't deserve it but she was in serious discomfort that she knew was going to be followed by pain. The blonde closed her eyes when her husband kissed her head, she rolled her head into the kiss and nodded her head slowly. He was always good at keeping her focus when something wasn't going right or she was upset, hurt, whatever the case may be. Michael was a godsend. Her nose then wrinkled when he showed her the phone with the eggplant and she shook her head. "Probably not, i think she just likes to use them no matter what they are. She thinks it makes her 'hip'." Morgan said, the pain becoming more intense as the contraction continued and she squeezed her husbands hand to get through it. When she was told of her mothers arrival she simply nodded, taking in a breath to steady herself. "Send her in."

Mike watched as a couple more nurses entered the room, saying something about how she was almost ready. He smiled at her. "I still find it very amusing," she said. A few moments later, Naomi was in the room. "Hi, Morgie, sweetie!" the woman walked up to her daughter and son-in-law. Michael kissed his mother-in-law on the cheek with his hand only loosely interlinked with Morgan's. "She's about ready," the nurse told them with a nod. Mike looked at Naomi with a smile, then at Morgan. "Ready to meet our little princess?" he asked as they were wheeled into the next room, with Michael and Naomi following behind the nurses pushing Morgan out of the room.

Morgan overheard the nurses saying she was almost ready. The blonde took a breath, finally she was going to meet her daughter and also give birth. She moved Maddy, every so fiercely. But she was ready to have her out, nine months had been a long time and she was ready to be a mother. Her own mothers voice rang in her ears and she looked up to see the other blonde woman and she smiled lazily. "Hi mom." she said, chewing on some more ice chips while she still kept hold of her husbands hand. "So ready. I've been ready since we found out i was pregnant." She says, holding the cup in the bend of her arm while her hand sat on her stomach as they were wheeled into the next room. Morgan was helped into the bed, she lay back and put her feet up on the bars that she was instructed to an she was so thankful for the hospital socks otherwise her feet would have been frozen against the metal. First she looked at her mother and then her husband. "I'm nervous." She admits softly.

Mike "We are going to be right here," Michael assured her and Naomi nodded as well. He let Morgan's mom take over the coaching now and he returned back to her side, holding his wife's hand. It was all going so fast, but it was as if the moment couldn't come soon enough. "Me too," he whispered. Once they were in the other room, he gave her hand a squeeze. A couple more minutes and the doctor came in, giving them instructions as they were all ready for Madelyn's arrival. He still couldn't believe it. They were still moments away from their daughter arriving. Even if it was so filled with emotion and all sorts of pain, it would be worth it. "Ready, Morgan?" the doctor asked as the she got herself ready.

Morgan was in shock still. This wasn't supposed to happen for eleven more days, but Madelyn had other plans. She kept a hold of one of Mike's hands and one of her mothers, each of them on her sides while the doctor was in front of her getting ready to aide her in the birthing process. "If i break your hand.. sorry in advance." She teased lightly, but just as she was a contraction came on and she felt it even worse than the others had been and she groaned while her eyes close tight and she nods at the doctors question. "I want her out." She mumbled, taking a deep breath and she looked at the doctor.

Mike raised an eyebrow as he felt Morgan squeezing his hand, nodding through the pain in his own hand. The doctor looked at Morgan, telling her that the next steps were extremely important and she had do do her best for Maddy. "I'm going to need you to push, she's just about ready," she told her. "One... two..." she counted. "Three..." she coached Morgan, and Naomi squeezed Morgan's hand, as did Mike, encouraging her to bring the little one into the world.

Morgan knew she needed to push, it was the only way to get Madelyn out aside from c-section but she wanted to be as natural as possible for their little girl. Nodding her head she leaned slightly forward and began to push as she was directed. A searing pain shot through her entire body, causing her eyes to close and a wild scream to leave her lips as she kept the push going until her body gave in and she fell backward against the bed to take a few breaths. She knew she wasn't done yet, this was the first of multiple pushes to bring their baby girl to the world.

Mike squeezed Morgan's hand, encouraging her along with the doctor and Naomi to push. "We're almost there, babe," he kissed her hand. "We're so close," the doctor said, checking how far along Madelyn was. "Okay, Morgan, let's do this again. "Want you to push harder, and we'll get there. Your little girl is going to be here, we just have to push more," she said, talking her through everything. Mike kissed the side of Morgan's head. "You've got this. She's almost here," he said softly.

Morgan was in so much pain. Never in her life had she felt something like this, she always thought people were exaggerating over birth but they weren’t. Not by a long shot. She was exhausted, in pain, and read her for their daughter to be there. She appreciated the encouragement but it was so hard to do, her mother had to know she had four kids of her own. Her eyes watered with pain, she leaned forward once more and she could feel the baby coming as she was pushing but it hurt so badly. “FUCK.” She screamed, normally it would have gotten a look and a reprimand in Russian but right now her mother didn’t dare. Morgan hope she was almost done, the pain was radiating through her entire body.

Mike "Almost there, Morgan," Michael said, continuing to encourage her. Within the next few minutes, even if it felt like a lifetime, there was a high pitched cry and he let out a happy sound. "She's here... oh my god..." he whispered, looking at their daughter as one of the nurses got her ready to put into Morgan's arms. "She's beautiful..." he whispered. "Hi, Maddy..." he said softly, still in awe of the little girl who was now in their world. He loved her so much already and it was just too good to be true, but completely amazing and altogether the best feeling in the world. He knew since even before he married Morgan, probably when they talked about getting married, he wanted kids with her. And here they were.

Morgan was trying her best to tough it out, she knew she had to so she could bring maddy the into the world but she was in so much pain. Finally she was on her last push, she squeezed her mother and mikes hands once more and she screamed a little herself as the last bits of Madelyn were being pushed out. After her cord was cut and she was cleaned and being handed to Morgan, the blonde instantly started to cry as her baby girl was laid in her arms. “She’s here..” Morgan couldn’t believe it. She was small, but she was real and she was laying on her chest right now. Morgan’s own mother was crying, her hand covering her mouth as she saw her first grandchild. “We have a little girl.” Morgan whispers to Michael, tears still free falling.

Mike kissed Morgan's head, his own tears running down his cheeks. "Our little jelly bean..." he whispered, watching as she Madelyn cried and the nurses took her vitals. Everything looked good, and Michael couldn't stop smiling. He wiped his eyes before checking his phone. "I-I think everyone's already there in the waiting room," he chuckled, more happy tears coming.

Morgan didn’t want to let go of her baby. The blonde watched as Madelyn was taken, her vitals all making sure she was alright. The blonde waited until they were done and she reached back out for their baby girl, smiling down at her beautiful face as tears still streamed down. “Do you want to hold her baby?” She asked her husband, then nodded her head at what he said. “We can have them come down in a few minutes.”

Mike nodded at her. "Y-yeah," he whispered. He took Madelyn into his arms and he smiled, looking at how tiny and beautiful she was. After everything that happened, she was finally here. Maddy who was now their pride and joy, a tiny miracle. "She's absolutely perfect," he said, still in awe of the little girl. Mike turned his head as Morgan's dad came in and so did his parents. Naomi waved to them, still in tears as they all excitedly cooed over Maddy.

Morgan smiled as she watched her husband take their daughter in her arms. She always loved her husband dearly, but now? Seeing him hold and love and fawn over their daughter? She had a whole new level of love for this man she didn't even know existed or was possible, she was sure she couldn't love him more than she did before today but she was wrong. "I agree." She said softly, gently she touched the little foot the was poking out of Mike's arms. She looked up when her dad and Mike's parents came in, she had a smile on her face and all of them each took turns holding Maddy for a few seconds.

Mike nodded at Morgan and Maddy stirred a little in his arms. "Did you think of a name yet?" one of the nurses asked, smiling at them. Michael grinned at her and at his wife and their families. "Madelyn," he said. "Love you, little Maddy," he whispered to the girl, and kissed her head, before turning to Morgan's parents and his mom to let them have a chance to hold their granddaughter. Hearing a familiar voice, he heard his dad arriving and he smiled acknowledging the man with a nod.

[meshugana1]

How about I am your gassy room mate and I accidentally find your universal remote while you’re out, first I accidentally turn myself into Cara Delevingne when fiddling with it. Then I give myself a huge butt and boobs. I make myself heavily pregnant with octuplets. I change my outfit into a skimpy cheerleader outfit. Finally I change my hair into very long and super soft and silky blonde hair that reaches my ankles . Finally you walk in.

Jack sat lazily on the couch doing nothing but channel surf as he tried to find the will to do anything. Everything just seemed boring as shit, he expressed his displeasure with everything by ripping an impressive fart into the couch. It smelled like it might eat through the stitching in his pants, that made him giggle slightly. His roomie was out which was nice because that meant he didn’t have to hide his farts. Mike was a real stickler about that and it tended to piss Jack off with all his rules and incessant cleaning.

Granted it was mostly Jack’s mess that needed cleaning but he paid his half of the rent and he shouldn’t have to do all that crap. He at least had a job, all Mike did all day was cock about in the basement of the house “inventing” shit. Also granted it was winter now and he technically was unemployed but all the union had to do was call and he needed to be ready so he could’t really get a regular job now could he? Jack dozed off for just a moment,  but it was long enough to lose the remote. How? He thought, I didn’t even move. He reluctantly got up and searched in between the cushions and behind the couch but when that didn’t help he started looking in the weird places like in the fridge, the oven, and in the pantry.

Those turned up nothing though and Jake decided to check in the last place it could possibly be, in Mikes “Lab”. Jake wasn’t technically allowed in but he needed to find that remote, he wasn’t gonna be stuck watching the young and the restless all day. The door was nothing special but inside was like something out of Dexter’s Lab. He had machines and bunsen burners and all the good shit. Jake let another loud fart flap out of his ass and her hurried along not wanting to leave more evidence behind. It didn’t take long before he found a remote, it wasn’t the one from the living room but all remotes were universal these days and he needed one bad. It looked a little weird like Mike had taken the plastic off and replaced it with metal and took off most of the buttons, now it only had five buttons and a tiny screen like on an old flip phone.

Jake didn’t care though as long as it worked, he plopped back on the couch and started pressing buttons but nothing happened. He hit the remote a few times and it finally started working and he at last returned to his channel surfing. Jack was breezing past showtime when that valerian movie started playing. That girl was pretty hot and he was all alone, so he figured he’d hit the pause button and enjoy himself. It was a little more difficult to find the button though, with this things confusing layout. He tried hitting the big yellow button on top and a beam of bright pink light came out and zapped the tv, then it bounded back and hit Jake square in the face.

Jake was afraid he’d been electrocuted because of how tight and constricted his body felt, like all his muscles were spasming and contacting. It ended soon and he was still breathing, he got up and ran to the mirror to see if he was burned or anything but when he made it to the bathroom he nearly fainted. His reflection didn’t match his body, or at least it didn’t match what he should look like. He looked like that girl from the movie, Cara something, his face was round with sharp high cheeks and a large forehead. His eyebrows were thick and strong and made his eyes look sultry and small. His lips were already painted a ruby red color and his hair was a dirty blond that ended just past his shoulders.

He looked down and saw his body had changed with it, he was now thin and had an athletic figure with small curves. Jake was freaking out and yelling in his new voice, racking his brain to find out what happened. It dawned on him that this happened when the remote went nuts so he ran out and grabbed it. Its display was crackling with static but Jack could make out the word “copy” on it. He was confused but then he looked at his tv and saw the frozen image of Cara Delevingne and a lightbulb went off in his head. Somehow the remote did this, it was like that movie with Adam Sandler. This remote could do anything! Mike finally invented something good, if this could turn him into a hot actress what else could it do? After a little more fiddling he figured out how to scroll through the options, there were so many he really could do anything. He decided to start with a classic and gave himself a stet of knockers so big he would cause car accidents. He selected the option for breasts and hit the plus button a dozen times.

Every time he pressed the button his breast shot up a cup size, each time they just popped up like popping corn from B’s to colossal L cup breasts! It was like his tiny frame was carrying medicine balls as his tits tented his shirt, straining it to its limit. Jake wasn’t one to leave a job half down so he scrolled down until he came across the option for asses and gave himself a real badonkadonk. He actually felt his pants tear as his ass grew to titanic proportions and balanced out his top heavy body. Jake giggled helplessly as he caressed his new insanely curvy body, he continued to scroll through the options and came across one he really didn’t expect to see titled ‘pregnancy’.

He always wanted to see a pregnant chick in the flesh so he selected the option but didn’t quite know how it would work. He pressed the plus button and was rewarded with an intense pressure in his abdomen. His belly surged outward and he was soon carrying a nine month pregnancy belly. Curiosity got the better of him though and he continued to press the button and his belly began to grow even more. He may have been a little overzealous as he looked like he carried a beachball, his distended belly now even eclipsed his breasts. His clothing was all but useless so he looked and found this thing could even affect clothes, he saw an option that looked super fun and a moment later he was wearing a perfectly fitting cheerleaders uniform.

Jake waddled over to the mirror and burst out laughing, he looked like a parody of a cartoon pregnant woman. Something was missing from his look though, he spent a few minutes scrolling through the options and found hair, the style he had was nice but he really wanted to keep the silly thing going so he lengthened it to such a degree that it nearly hit the floor and tickled his ankles. That was better, now it looked like he could give rapunzel a run for her money. Suddenly Jake heard the front door open, that must’ve been Mike. He was gonna have a helluva surprise when he saw the fruits of his labors.

Mike was tired and beat, he hated going to the grocery store but he needed food. Somehow it always managed to be crowded when he needed to get in and out quick but thank god it was over. “I’m home” he said to no one in particular, he knew his lazy roommate wouldn’t much care but when he entered the living room the person he saw was definitely not his roommate. It looked like that actress from Suicide Squad but her proportions where insane and she looked like she was too pregnant.

“Hey pal, recognize me?” Jake said. Mike saw the remote in the girls hands and wheels began to turn. “Jake?!”“Yup! Why the hell didn’t you tell me your inventions worked? You could be a bazillionare with this stuff.”“Jake, listen that remote doesn’t work.”“Um…Mike, look at me. I’m pretty sure it works.”“No Jake, that remote can only change things. It can’t change them back!”“…Wait what?”

The End. Hope y’all like it! Now you guys know what my writing looks like on cold medicine!

[coldandfloozy-blog]

There’s no Tamarindo in Space

@--- asked: Hey I was just wondering if you could do a vld fic in which Lance has a rlly upset stomach from eating something on a mission that no one else ate (because Lance is careless lmao) so lots of descriptive stomach sounds and stuff and he's rlly gassy and nauseous. The team hears his stomach or something then he ends up vomiting. lol this is detailed I am so sorry

((my first drabble request! I hope you like it!))

"That delicious thing tasted just like tamarindo, I'm telling you!" Lance continues to prattle on.

The peacekeeping mission with the Aylivians had been a success, to everyone's delght. They spent a few hours post fighting to help the planet clean up a few messy pieces and talk with the locals. And Lance? For the final shot, which saved the Aylivian Emperor, he'd received a small gift in the form of a little weird slimy jello cup, round and pink and covered in bright red berries. It was made specially from his daughter, and apparently a delicacy.

Either way, Lance enjoyed it and refused to share. And thus, as they return to the Castleship for the evening, he takes it upon himself to use it as bragging rights.

"It looked like pink snot, Lance," Pidge gripes at him. "No one but an idiot would eat that."

"You're just jealous a pretty alien girl wouldn't give you something for being the hero who saved her father's life."

Keith rolls his eyes. "Lucky shot."

"You wish." Lance glares over at Keith. "I'm the best shot on the team--" And he can't help it, as a strangely building, burbling feeling travels through his chest and immediately releases itself in the form of a loud burp. His eyes widen. "Sorry."

Shiro laughs, patting his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Alright guys, you get the afternoon to rest up for the warp tomorrow. Actually rest this time, no training past dinner." And with that, a pointed look at Keith. "See you guys at dinner."

Keith's sulk gets Lance smirking, but he doesn't argue it. They disperse, and Lance heads off to get changed out of his armor. His stomach gurgles uncomfortably, but he figures it'll pass.

---

An hour later, and it really hasn't. His stomach is in knots, feeling warm and uncomfortable. There's a churning sensation, and he's burped at least a dozen times since then. Thankfully, he's opted to stay in the confines of his room, resting on his bed. Well, more like suffering in silence. He has the headphones from Pidge set over his ears, trying to distract himself by listening to the nice space instrumentals they'd found in the castle library.

But his stomach is starting to cramp more, growing waves that clench and stab through his stomach before releasing in an uneasy heat. He shrugs off his jacket and curls into himself more, bringing his knees to his chest. It just hurts. Maybe it's just gas. He hopes it is. He moves a hand down to his stomach and rubs, pressing against his belly button in the hopes of maybe easing the pressure. But he can even feel it burbling uncomfortably. He lessens the amount of pressure he places on his own stomach and just groans into his pillow.

He closes his eyes, trying to sleep it off, but it doesn't work. Without focusing on his vision, he can feel the sick sensation worsening, nausea churning along with his gut. His tummy doesn't settle at all, only growing more discomfited through the wait. Lance grabs his pillow and hugs it to his tomach, breathing cautiously. But he merely burps again, wet and thick; it even almost tastes sour.

Before long, the announcement goes off--with Hunk announcing dinner. Ugh.

Lance is sure he just wasted two hours doing nothing but suffering. He sits up, and his stomach drops. He clasps a hand over his mouth, letting out another deep burp as the rush of air moves past. Maybe... maybe he's just hungry.

"That's gotta be it," he mumbles to himself.

He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands in his pockets; and he uses one hand to hold against his stomach, hoping it looks inconspicuous enough.

When he looks at his mirror, he sighs when he realizes it doesn't.

Oh well. He's quiet enough when he enters the room, giving a lackluster joke about the lackluster goo to have them all groaning. It doesn't take long for them to sit, plates already in place. Today, Hunk announces, it tastes like beef stroganoff.

Lance ignores as Pidge and Keith start a discussion about the planet's strange buildings in favor of trying to will himself to eat. Steeling his nerves and hoping his stomach cooperates, he takes a bite.

And his stomach lets out one of the most unhappy gurgles. Hunk pauses, looking over his shoulder. "Lance?"

The gurgle happens again, loud and uncomfortable. Lance feels the cramps rolling behind it and grips his spoon tighter. "I'm fine. I'm--" He pauses, bringing his hand to his mouth to let out a burp. "Sorry. I'm okay."

Hunk doesn't look convinced, but he moves a hand to pat sympathetically at Lance's shoulder.

Lance covers his stomach with his hand, pushing against it; he hopes the pressure can quell the noise, but he can feel the cramps even under his palm, and he nearly tips forward. Lance can't do this. The nausea makes itself more well-known to him then, and Lance knows he can't fight this one off. He can already feel the return of the goo, creeping its way back up his throat.

He slides back in his chair. He can only vaguely hear the others calling his name as he tries to stumble from his seat, but he only falls to his knees next to his chair. Keith is right by his side, gripping his arm in order to hold him up.

And with one more sickly belch, Lance retches forward and brings up a mouthful of vomit--strangely colored pink and red. But he finds that once he gags out one mouthful, he can't stop himself; he tries to brace himself as his stomach clenches against him, and he chokes out more. A few seconds later and Hunk has a bucket held in front of him, and he hugs it right to his chest. He and Keith carefully try pulling Lance back to sit, and he clings to the bucket while he vomits. It hurts, from the waves of pain his stomach is in to the hot bile traveling up his throat. And nearly everything being said to him misses his ears, only the sound of his own sick bouncing back at him.

He's vaguely aware of a hand rubbing his back until the feeling subsides. The nausea is still there, faint and annoying, but the cramps fade as fatigue settles in. He sees Hunk sitting next to him, encouraging him to just take deep breaths, as Pidge holds out his water pack. He looks up, smiling thankfully.

"You feeling better, buddy?" Shiro's voice asks.

"Yeah, that was... a lot. Allura ran off to try and find some medicine for you," Keith chimes in.

Lance nods, slumping backwards a little. Hunk pulls him closer to his shoulder. "L'il bit. I'm tired."

Pidge grimaces a little, but she squats closer to hold the straw to his mouth. As he sips it slowly, trying not to grimace at the faint acidic taste still on his tongue, she sighs. "Hate to break it to you, but it seems like it's that weird gift you ate."

"Couldn't be," Lance mumbles around the straw. He takes another sip. "Princesses love me."

The rest of the gang groaned. Inwardly, Lance knew it was probably the truth--even though he didn't want to admit it. After all, the princess had been cute. He'd just have to take his presents to-go next time.

[themiddlelayer]

Ode to Denny’s

I’m beginning to think that the good days are actually worse than the bad ones.

Today was a good day. I woke up and felt reasonably rested despite the bizarre, vivid dreams. Those have become the norm. I did enough work during my work day that time moved at a reasonable pace rather than the draining crawl that I’ve become accustomed to.

Seeing the latest plague-related panic (Tyson foods chairman warns: ‘the food supply chain is breaking’ because of the company’s closing meat processing plants due to COVID outbreaks among employees) I decided that I should stock up on some more of my plant-based meat alternatives before the carnivores get desperate. Cookie mentioned that she had some shopping to do as well and after work she messaged asking about going together.

She picked me up and we went to Fry’s first. There was a dude in a kilt who we passed a couple times before he struck up a conversation about my Goonies tee-shirt in the aisle where I the cheese sauce should have been. It turned out Cookie knew him from the SCA. It almost felt like the kind of organic meeting in public stories we hear less and less of because of online dating. I introduced myself and he extended his hand instinctively before withdrawing it in favor of an elbow bump.

As we walked away I told Cookie that I couldn’t tell if he was cute… he was in a mask and mine was making my glasses fog up randomly… but he seemed really cool. At the register the cashier was a larger Hispanic dude with a flower tucked in his ear and a calm, warm demeanor. He and the masked bagger were dancing while we waited for Cookie’s payment app to load. I don’t remember the last time I smiled like that, and of course my smile was underneath the burgundy cloth mask that gives me ‘elf ears.’

From there we drove to Safeway, which is right across the street from Denny’s. That’s when it really hit me.

I thought about all the times I’d found myself sitting in a Denny’s booth eating pancakes and just talking… 

There was the night that Cookie and I saw the ‘non-binary pansexual polyamorous hipsters’ across the restaurant then walked out to see an almost antique looking car in the parking lot that just had to be theirs. We laughed so hard that night that my face literally ached!

My first date with Puppy was at the Denny’s in Benson where he scooped me into his arms and kissed me in the lobby. Once we were finally seated, he sat beside me with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face the entire time. My Beyond Burger was awful, the service worse, and the root beer made me gassy but that didn’t stop me from enjoying a lengthy goodbye kiss in the parking lot.

Viking and I met at Denny’s after his kiddo had gone to bed one night and he wanted to see me. He had called me on the phone the day after our 1st date just to hear my voice… the man really knew how to lay on the charm… So when he asked about meeting at 9:15pm after I’d just come home from Cookie’s house half-dead, I jumped at the chance. He ended up choosing my favorite thing off the menu- the salted caramel banana crème pancakes, and we shared them over easy, comfortable conversation.

When he walked me to my car, I threw my purse in, closed the door with my keys in my hand and initiated the kissing. We were out there, pressed up against my little car for so long that he joked that we were giving the employees hanging out by the front door a free show. When he tried to slide his hand into my jeans, I stopped him. He responded, “Just trying to see what I can get away with.” That was the last time I saw him.

That was the Denny’s where Cookie first met Tampa. She asked about me having, not only the plus one of MM to her wedding, but a plus two. She said that she immediately saw how well we clicked and how happy I was.

Later I would sit in that same section of Denny’s with two of the friends who had just helped me pack my things when I was leaving Tampa- Gaymer and his roommate the CosPlay Chick. They are two friends who consistently showed up for game nights and whose company I always enjoyed but somehow we never managed to make time to hang out, outside of scheduled events. 

I had a crush on Gaymer at one point and lamented the fact that he was strictly homo and not even a little flexible. MM got stupid drunk at a party at his place one night and I got really upset about their flirting… partly because I’d seen MM cross the line when shitfaced like that before and partly because of my crush on Gaymer. Still… Gaymer sat beside me on the couch at my housewarming party and didn’t seem to mind the lack of physical distance between us.

I miss just sitting in a booth at Denny’s. I miss their awful coffee and food that was so bad I didn’t even make it out the door that night with Gaymer and CosPlay Chick and instead paid the bill and went straight to their bathroom where I got sick. I miss the smell of the grease in the air and the feel of the glasses they put my Arnold Palmers in when I knew better than to ask for decaf. I miss the sticky syrup bottles they brought out when I’d order the French toast slugger… Eggs scrambled... Will you eat my bacon? And can we just call both coffees the 2 beverages that are included? Thanks!

It feels like a different world and it’s only been 6 weeks since I was last in Denny’s.

Safeway was another adventure in itself. They had all the usual vegan foods on hand, but still no cheese sauce. As we walked past the paper goods, Cookie exclaimed, “Oh! They have toilet paper!” Only she had to repeat herself because between the hum of the coolers and the muffling of her mask I couldn’t quite make out what she said. They had the ‘one way aisle’ signs and floor markings there. Another measure in place to assist with proper ‘social distancing’ guidelines.

I felt alive tonight. It was the feeling you get after a party where you’re not ready for the night to end so you end up sitting in a booth at Denny’s until all hours as conversation is slowly replaced by yawning. Only we couldn’t go to Denny’s. Or anywhere else for that matter.

Cookie had meat in the car and it was still in the low 80’s even though the sun had gone down… So I was left alone with the silence that I keep trying to fill with Letterkenny and Lucifer and Amazon music playlists with titles like “Feel Better,” “Cleaning the House,” and “Be Happy.”  The emptiness I keep trying to fill with chocolate hummus, jalapeno poppers, and my jar of jelly beans that weighed 4 lbs. (but is probably down to 3.5 lbs. or so by now). The loneliness that’s so big there isn’t enough self-love in the world to make up for it.

I sit on my couch sometimes and just remember how it felt to have other people in the room… Gaymer sitting beside me while we played board games. Puppy with my feet in his lap while he tied intricate shibari between my toes. Cookie drinking tea with me while we watched Grey’s Anatomy.

I remember Nomad falling asleep in my lap on the couch in Vail the night that two and two became four… the texture of his hair between my fingers while he snored and shuddered with his arms wrapped around my waist. I think about being on the couch in Phoenix curled up with Olive in our fuzzy onesies while we binged ‘Russian Doll’ until after 2am before climbing into bed where our Java Bear was snoring loudly… but not quite as loudly as Olive.

I imagine how it might feel to have Jersey here in Arizona. I try to remember how he smelled and the way his lips felt when we had that awkward goodnight kiss in the parking lot at Savage Mill in Maryland. I wonder what his cheek will feel like with my hand cupping it… How much stubble will he have?  What will the back of his neck feel like as I reach up and pull him closer so I can feel his heartbeat against my chest?

When we chatted last night, he told me that he had a dream about putting his hand my back and another about having his mouth on my hip bone. He kept saying that it sounded weird but I totally understood. My dreams are always about touch these days- sometimes sexual, but other times just about the feel of skin and the pressure of a good hug.

When Cookie hugged me goodbye tonight I almost burst into tears. We are not meant to live like this.

[rynnvstill]

The Pregnancy Chronicles

This is a blog I used to think about writing a lot while I was pregnant and although I a great pregnancy for the most part ( aside from the 1st and 3rd trimester) I was really busy getting ready for Naomi and didn’t really have time to sit down and write it. It’s been just about five months since she’s been born and I think I owe it to myself to actually finish this blog. Not to mention it’s been sitting in my draft bucket for sometime now. I don’t even remember when I started the draft. Anyways here is pregnancy in a nutshell 

(warning: this blog may contain TMI’s and graphic descriptions. readers discretion  advised)

I will begin with blog with a little background. Before we got pregnant, my husband and I never used any kind of protection. We figured well if it happens it happens. We are married now. With that mindset I thought I would’ve gotten pregnant right away but I didn’t. Three years go by and still no baby and to make matters worse, my friend who was the only friend I had without a baby was pregnant at the end of 2015. I was starting to feel along. I was also starting to think there was something wrong. 

After I found out my friend was pregnant, I went to the doctors to get checked out. The first doctor I went to was very rude and misinformed. He was trying to convince me that my preexisting medical condition was the cause of my barrenness.  I told the doctor that i didn’t think that was the cause of the problem because my cousin who had the same condition was able to have three children ( she was my inspiration for trying. I figured it she could have three, I could at least try it once). To make a long intro shorter, that doctor said some pretty rude things to me and I decided to get a second opinion. 

The next doctor revealed that I had an unusual cycle and that I had to “find my window” to get pregnant. That was confronting to hear. He told me to track my cycle and see where that takes me and if it didn’t work we could get an ovulation kit. We began to pray and tell God the desires of our heart to become parents and we took the doctor’s advise. I was also taking vitamins and making sure I was eating healthy.

Then one day my body began to feel weird. I was forgetting things, I was extra emotional and gassy. One particular day the trains weren’t running on they’re usual schedule which would delay my commute home. I called my sister for a ride but she was already half way home. I just began to cry. I even thought to myself, why the heck am I crying? A few days go by and I kinda feel normal again. My husband Charlie wanted to go out drinking but he asked me to take a pregnancy test because he noticed that I didn’t get my cycle in January. I went to the store to get the test and on my way home I said a quick silent pray to the Lord. I said to Him: Lord, your Will be done but it would be nice if someone is in here. When I got home my expectations were low but I was still hopeful. I went to the bathroom, peed on the test, and I waited. The first line went by and then a second....wait what? The only thing I could say was “Oh my gosh!” Now, I would frequently play pranks on my husband when I would take test in the past so he didn’t jump up with excitement at my initial “oh my gosh” so I said it again. It took the third time for Charlie to come to the bathroom. His immediate reaction was “what do we do?! Should I take you to the hospital?!” I told him that we would have to make a doctors appointment to confirm. 

When we went to the doctors appointment, my doctor’s reaction was “well that was fast”. I took the blood test and bam! I was pregnant. It wasn’t truly real to me until I saw the first ultra sound. I was amazed. Look at God at work. That’s what I thought. And then the fun began. 

The First Trimester 

I found out I was pregnant around seven weeks so, the fist trimester symptoms didn’t hit me right away. When they did hit me, it hit me hard. The first time I experience nausea was when I was eating some broccoli. The broccoli had a weird soapy taste and then I gagged. From that moment on things started to taste funny in a bad way. Meat started to smell bad and taste bad. Vegetables were nasty. The sight of food would make me sick. Then every morning before I got ready for work I would throw up but after that I could get through the day. Unfortunately, the morning sickness turned into all day sickness and I couldn’t keep my food down. The only thing I could keep down was Cocoa Puffs and fruit. I was sick on the train and at work but somehow no one caught on to it. I lost ten pounds from the first trimester and I was already under weight. My OB prescribed me vitamin B6 to help with the nausea and it worked for the most part. Around May, which was my fifth month, the morning sickness started going away and my belly started to expand. 

The Second Trimester

The second Trimester is by far the best Trimester of pregnancy. You get your energy back, your appetite back and your albedo goes up up up! My belly was getting bigger and bigger and I was starting to feel my little nugget moving around every once in a while. She wasn’t a big mover but she like to hang out on the right side of my belly. My cravings included Cocoa Puff, Sour Cream and Onion chips, ice cream, and French Fries. I mostly ate healthy but when I wanted junk those were my go to snacks. I was very sassy and not afraid of anything. I wanted to watch horror movies and play horror games. I had snappy come backs and I was very out going. I remember when we found out we were having a girl. We had this dry ultra sound tech dude and he was so unenthusiastic. When he showed us that she was a girl, I could’ve have sworn I saw testicles. We had an OB appointment and since I was her last patient she did an ultra sound in her office just to double check. Her screen was a lot clearer than the other guys screen. So we now knew Naomi Ariel Still was in my belly! 

After the gender was revealed, it was on! we started preparing her room and making her registry. We were so excited and couldn’t wait to meet our little girl. I  thought we were having a boy prior to the ultra sound and when he announced that we were having a girl I was disappointed for like a millisecond. After that millisecond, I was over the moon that we were having a girl. 

There were some challenging times in the second trimester. I could be overly emotional at times, I ran out of breath fast, and it was getting uncomfortable to sit for long periods of time. towards the end of the second trimester I started to pee more and more. I had a lot of gas and I started to ache in my grind area and back. The highlight was feeling my baby move. That made it all worth it.

The Third Trimester

The third trimester was kind of difficult like the first trimester. I was getting heavier and heavier by the week and being pregnant was getting old. I was getting anxious to meet our daughter. I was thinking about what she would look like and what her personality would be like. Her room was complete at this point because we had our baby shower. Sometimes I would sit in her room and think about what it was going to be like to have a baby in the room. The aches and pains continued and the urge to pee increased. I would get up like three times a night to pee and I was always thirsty. Because she was getting bigger I wasn’t feeling the vigorous movements that I felt in the second trimmest. Mostly slow stretching and Braxton Hicks contractions. Braxton Hicks were the worst especially towards the end. It made it hard to breath. Walking was like an olympic sport and sleeping wasn’t any easier. Fortunately for me, my pregnancy was only 39 weeks because I had a scheduled C section due to my neurological condition. 

On October 6th 2016, my husband Charlie and I went to Lankenaul hospital to have a baby. It was the scariest day of my life. I’d never had major surgery before. I’ve had my wisdom teeth pulled and some keloids removed but nothing as serious as someone cutting me open and taking something out of me. There were some uncomfortable events that happened that day. I had trouble getting prepared for the surgery because of pain epilepsy I have. The good thing was my husband, sister and mother were by my side during those hard times and Naomi was ok. The last think I remember before the performed the C section was going into the operating room, they introduced themselves, I got on the table, they draped the blue cloth over my belly, placed the oxygen mask on my face and I went to sleep. 

The procedure was very quick from what I was told. Naomi was out in like a minute and it took another twenty minutes to put me back together. I remember waking up in the recovery room and seeing my mom and Charlie. I also remember being in love with everyone (I was still high). Then my mom left so my sister could come in and I saw my dad too. Once I was fully awake they took me up to the NICU to see Naomi ( she was there to make sure she was breathing ok from me being fully under). I couldn’t connect that she was my daughter at the time because I was still very high. After a a day of resting, I saw her again and it was still serial that I was a mom. It wasn’t until we were discharged to go home that I really knew this little girl was really my kid. 

Well, That’s my pregnancy chronicles. The abridge version anyway. Now that it’s been going on five month, I feel like I can give more content to what it’s been like being a new mom. It’s totally great and I can say so much about it. BUT, I’ll save that for the next blog ; )