#i knew J would fight tooth and nail to give the job to literally anyone but me and it knocked my confidence & made me feel like
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Also I’m ngl, my success yesterday is really starting to make me think that if J hadn’t been on the interview panel I would’ve gotten the GCSE English tutor job 🧐
#maybe i’m wrong. maybe my microteach presentation was just that bad. i remember not making good eye contact and it going steadily downhill#but my answers to the questions were good. or at least they were no worse than the answers i gave in the esol interview#i mean tbh i went out of the esol interview thinking i’d bombed it. i was surprised when my now-boss told me it was a great interview#idk. i’m just thinking in my brain now. it’s late at night and maybe i’m wrong#but even if there were no biases involved i KNOW damn well that seeing her sitting there threw me off#i knew J would fight tooth and nail to give the job to literally anyone but me and it knocked my confidence & made me feel like#there was no point. it was a self-fulfilling prophecy#meanwhile the ladies who interviewed me yesterday for the job i now have were all nice to me and none of us had a prior grievance#i didn’t even know any of them. and THAT’S how you conduct an impartial interview. english department take note#(both these interviews took place at the same college; for clarification. and J is my former mentor who i nuked the bridge with#when she tried to screw me over)#idk. idk. should i make a complaint? i think it would be funny if i made a complaint#i mean i’m fine teaching esol; especially because J won’t be my boss. the person who will be my boss is lovely#i still might spread dissent at some point. that is my right#i just really don’t think i did that much better in the esol interview vs the gcse english interview. so why did i get one job#but not the other. 🧐#i’m just trying to look at the variables and the common denominators here#maybe the other candidates for esol sucked. 😶#i’m going to make it my personal mission to find out who got the english job and go observe them#if you’re so much fucking better than me; who’d been teaching at this college for free for a year (for my pgce); prove it. i’ll wait.#personal
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