#i kinda wanna get a new one thats better for tough roads but

[scene118]

i think tmr im gonna see what i need to get my old bike fixed up

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 128

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,500ish

Summary: Tony works to save Dr. Strange and Y/N. The fugitive Avengers find their way to the compound. (gifs aren’t mine)

As the alien started guiding the piece of pavement towards the giant circular ship, the cloak that was around Strange tore itself free and flew the piece of pavement away.

“No!” The alien yelled, following after it.

Iron Man and Spider-Man were both fighting off the large alien in the nearby park Tony had crashed into, when the pavement piece flew passed. All Tony could see was the cloak and the alien following, so he knew it was Strange and that he was in trouble.

“Kid, that’s wizard,” Tony told Peter, blocking an attack. “Get on it.”

“On it!” Peter replied, quickly swinging in that direction.

Spider-Man chased after the skinny alien, who was floating speedily and upright on a small platform of burbling debris. Swinging in between the pavement and the alien, Peter tried to tie up the alien. The alien attacked back, throwing a billboard at Spider-Man.

“Not cool!” Peter responded.

The alien bent all the utility poles in the path of the feeing clock, finally snagging the garment and ripping it loose of the pavement. Spider-Man re-arrived on the scene, finally noticing something.

“Uh, Mr. Stark? We have a problem,” Peter’s nervous voice rang over the comms.

“What is is kid?” Tony replied, still fighting off the larger alien. “I’m kinda in the middle—“

“Both the wizard and Miss Rogers are unconscious on the floating piece of road.”

“What?! I’ll be right there!”

Peter swung down to the pavement and stood on it, careful to not step on Strange or Y/N. Bending down, he went to break Y/N free when a cone of blue light began to pull the group upwards. Spider-Man jumped off, grabbing onto the nearest light post while using his webbing to try and keep the piece of pavement in place. The alien quickly uprooted the light post, sending Dr. Strange, the cloak, Y/N, and Peter on their way to the circular ship.

“Uhhh, Mr. Stark?” Peter called again. “I’m being beamed up!”

“Hang on, kid!” Tony responded.

Before Tony could fly over there, the giant alien he was fighting pinned Tony to the ground by his hammer that doubled as a claw. As the giant jumped towards Iron Man, blades ready to end the fight, he was sent through a portal instead. The alien turned and leaped  to return back through the portal, but Wong rapidly closed it and only the giant’s severed hand made its way back to the park. Bruce kicked the hand way with a noise of disgust. Iron Man then shook himself free of the weapon.

“Wong, you’re invited to my future wedding!” Tony exclaimed before beginning to fly towards the large ship. “Give me a little juice, FRIDAY.”

Iron Man’s foot thrusters suddenly morphed together into a single larger thruster, increasing his speed considerably. 

Peter, not being able to keep hold of the pavement piece, was hanging onto the ship as it flew up into space. The alien and the piece of pavement with Strange and Y/N on it, had disappeared into the ship. Tony knew that Peter wasn’t going to be able to hold on or breathe for much longer.

“Unlock 17-A,” Tony ordered FRIDAY. “Pete, you gotta let go. I’m gonna catch you.”

“But you said save the wizard!” Peter responded. Gasping from lack of oxygen, Peter ripped off his mask. “I can’t breathe!”

“You’re too high up. You’re running out of air.”

“Yeah! That makes sense.”

Quickly, Peter passed out, free-falling, but not before the pod Tony had set out reached him. It attached itself to him, becoming a new suit. Now being able to breathe, Spider-Man landed on the bottom part of the ship.

“Mr. Stark, it smells like a new car in here!” Peter commented.

“Happy trails, kid,” Tony replied. “FRIDAY, send him home.”

“Yep,” FRIDAY answered.

A large parachute extended from the new Spider-Man suit, spending him back towards earth.

“Oh, come on!” Peter shouted.

Iron Man latched onto the hull and cut a hole to board the ship, looking for wherever Strange and Y/N were taken.

“Boss, I have lifeforms detected in the ship,” FRIDAY informed. “One of them is most likely Agent Rogers.”

“Can you tell me if she’s breathing?”

A pause. “It appears she is.”

“Okay… I need you to—“

“I’m sorry, Boss, but we seem to be losing connection. We’re too far away from—“ Then FRIDAY”s line cut.

~~~

“Still no word from Vision?” The holographic image of Secretary Ross asked Rhodey. Rhodey was at the compound, dealing with the red tape.

“Satellites lost him somewhere over Edinburgh,” Rhodey replied.

“On a stolen Quinjet with four of the world's most wanted criminals.”

“You know they're only criminals because you've chosen to call them that, right, sir?”

“My God, Rhodes, your talent for horseshit rivals my own.”

“If it weren't for those Accords, Vision would've been right here.”

“I remember your signature on those papers, Colonel.”

“That's right. And I'm pretty sure I've paid for that.”

“You have second thoughts?”

“Not anymore.”

Suddenly, the fugitive Avengers (Sam, Wanda, Nat, and Steve) entered the room. Vision was being supported by Sam.

“Mr. Secretary,” Steve greeted, firmly.

“You got some nerve,” Ross said, hologram walking up to the Captain. “I’ll give you that.”

“You could use some of that right now,” Natasha replied.

“The world's on fire. And you think, all is forgiven?”

“I'm not looking for forgiveness. And I'm way past asking for permission,” Steve stated. “Earth just lost her best defender. So we're here to fight.” He took a step towards the hologram. “And if you wanna stand in our way… we’ll fight you too.” 

Ross turned to Rhodes. “Arrest them.”

“All over it,” Rhodey responded before swiping off the hologram. “That’s a court-martial. It’s great to see you, Cap.”

The two men hugged. “You too, Rhodey,” Steve responded before Natasha went to hug Rhodey.

“Well. You guys really look like crap. Must've been a rough couple of years.”

“Yeah, well, the hotels weren’t exactly five star,” Sam commented.

“Uh, I think you look great,” Bruce nervously walked in from the opposite end of the room. “Uh… heh… Yeah. I’m back.”

“Hi, Bruce,” Nat greeted softly.

“Nat.”

“This is awkward,” Sam whispered.

Steve looked around. “Has anyone heard from Y/N?” He asked. “She’d want to know—“

“She’s missing too, Steve,” Bruce interrupted. “When I found Tony to get his help, Y/N was with him.”

“She was… she was with him? But Y/N’s a fugitive as well. How—“

“Mr. Stark and Miss Rogers have been sneaking around,” Vision cut Steve off.

“What?!” Steve and Rhodey exclaimed.

“It’s been happening for about a year now.”

“Miss Rogers has been seeing Boss and Sergeant Barnes,” FRIDAY clarified. “Trying to work through her feelings.”

“Thats… and she never…” Steve was at a loss for words.

“You didn’t try to reach out to her either, Cap,” Sam said. “You even knew she was staying in Wakanda. T’Challa told you. And you refused to reach out.”

“What happened?” Steve asked, looking at Bruce.

“She got captured,” Bruce explained. “Tony went after the ship to protect her and the Time Stone.”

“Why don’t we take this into the other room?” Rhodey suggested. “Perhaps get you guys something to drink.”

They went into the next room over, each standing or sitting around the room. Bruce explained more of what happened and the other group explained what happened to them.

“So we gotta assume they’re coming back, right?” Rhodey questioned.

“And they can clearly find us,” Wanda added.

“We need all hands on deck,” Bruce stated. “Where’s Clint?”

“After the whole Accords situation, he and Scott took a deal,” Nat answered. “It was too tough on their families, they're on house arrest.”

“Who’s Scott?”

“Ant-Man,” Steve replied.

“There's an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man? Okay, look… Thanos has the biggest army in the universe. And he is not gonna stop until he... he gets... Vision's Stone.”

“Well then, we have to protect it,” Nat stated.

“No, we have to destroy it,” Vision said. "I've been giving a good deal of thought to this entity in my head, about its nature. But also, its composition. I think if it were exposed to a sufficiently powerful energy source, something, very similar to its own signature, perhaps… its molecular integrity could fail.”

“And you, with it,” Wanda said. “We’re not having this conversation.”

“Eliminating the stone is the only way to be certain that Thanos can't get it.”

“That’s too high a price.”

Vision took Wanda’s face gently with both hands. “With Y/N off world, only you have the power to pay it.” Wanda walked away, distressed. “Thanos threatens half the Universe. One life cannot stand in the way of defeating him.”

“But it should,” Steve said, looking at Vision. “We don’t trade lives, Vision.”

“Captain, 70 years ago, you laid down your life to save how many millions of people. Tell me, why is this any different?”

“Because you might have a choice,” Bruce suggested. “Your mind is made up of a complex construct of overlays. JARVIS, Ultron, Tony, me, the Stone. All of them mixed together. All of them learning from one another.”

“You’re saying Vision isn’t just the Stone?” Wanda asked.

“I'm saying that if we take out the Stone, there's still a whole lot of Vision left. Perhaps the best parts.”

“Can we do that?” Nat wondered.

“Not me. Not here.”

“You better find someone, and somewhere fast,” Rhodey said. “Ross isn't exactly just gonna let you guys have your old rooms back.”

“I know somewhere,” Steve stated. “Wakanda. But someone first has to explain how Y/N has anything to do with the Stone.”

“70 years ago, the Tesseract chose her to be the protector of the Stones,” Vision explained, knowing the story due to housing the Mind Stone in his head. “That’s how she survived the fall. The Tesseract holds the Space Stone. Her powers come for each of the Stones, so she has the power to destroy the Stones, by channeling them. Y/N is able to wield and control the all the Stones.”

“What I showed her…” Wanda said quietly. “It was the Stone… Y/N’s the key to stopping Thanos.”

~~~

T’Challa already knew Y/N was missing before Steve had contacted him. With Okoye and two other guards, he made his way to Bucky’s place. Bucky was throwing bags onto a partly-filled car, being watched by two village children.

“You’ll have the Kingsgaurd, and the Dora Milaje have been alerted,” Okoye told T’Challa as they made their way towards Bucky’s small hut. 

“And the Border Tribe?” T’Challa wondered.

“Those that are left.”

“Send word to the Jabari as well. M’Baku likes a good fight.”

“And what of this one?” Okoye looked at Bucky, just down the hill.

“This one may be tired of war. But the White Wolf has rested long enough.”

They made their way to Bucky. The guards set an elaborate and high-tech looking case down on the cart. They opened the lid to reveal the black and gold vibranium arm that Bucky had worn on Valentine’s Day.

Bucky sighed. “Where’s the fight?” He asked.

“On its way,” T’Challa answered. “And, Barnes…” The King glanced over at Okoye. “There’s something else. It’s about Y/N.”

Bucky was immediately alert. “What is it?”

“She’s missing.”

~~~

Dr. Strange was floating horizontally, face down, surrounded by dozens of long, glassy needles, as the alien interrogated him. Y/N was still unconscious, tied to the pavement off to the side.

“In all the time I’ve served Thanos, I’ve never failed him,” the alien told Dr. Strange. “If I were to reach our rendezvous on Titan with the Time Stone still attached to your vaguely irritating person, there would be... judgement.” The needles began to contact Dr. Strange’s face, causing pain. “Give me… the Stone.”

Tony was watching, hiding from above. After receiving a tap on the arm, Tony turned around, hand up and ready to shoot. Tony stood stand after seeing that it was the cloak.

“Wow, you’re a seriously loyal piece of outerwear, aren’t you?” Tony commented.

“Yeah, un speaking of loyalty…”

Tony and the cloak turn, completely shocked, to see Peter dropping down from above.

“What the—“

“I know what you’re gonna say,” Peter interrupted, holding his hands out.

“You should not be here,” Tony stated.

“I was gonna go home—“

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“But it was such a long way down and I just thought about you and Y/N on the way—”

“And now I gotta hear it.”

“—and I kinda stuck to the side of the ship. And this suit is ridiculously intuitive, by the way. So if anything, it’s kinda your fault that I’m here.”

Both the cloak and Tony looked shocked, again. “What did you just say?”

“I take that back. And now I’m here in space.”

“Yeah.” Tony went to stand right in front of Peter. “Right where I don’t want you to be. This isn’t Coney Island. This isn't a field trip. It's a one-way ticket. You hear me? Don't pretend like you thought this through. You could not have possibly thought this through.”

"No. I did think this through.”

“You could not have possibly thought this through.”

“It's just .. you can't be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if there's no neighborhood.” Peter waited to get something from Tony, but nothing. “Okay. That didn't really make any sense, but you know what I'm trying to say.”

Tony let out a shaky breath. “Come on. We got a situation.” 

Tony led Peter over to where they could see Dr. Strange, Y/N, and the alien. Peter crouched down to study the situation and the cloak leaned over his shoulder.

“See him down there?” Tony pointed to Dr. Strange. “He’s in trouble. And Y/N laying over there as well. What’s your plan? Go.”

“Um. Okay, okay… uh…” Peter stuttered, trying to think. He and the cloak popped back upright. “Okay. Did you ever see this really old movie, Aliens?”

~~~

Meanwhile, the Stones were talking to an unconscious Y/N.

“You can’t stop what’s coming… it will come, no matter what. You are being saved for the final battle… we will stop you from doing anything to prevent what needs to happen. What’s supposed to happen… someday, you will understand. There are things meant to be learned, things meant to happen, that we will not let you stop… use your powers wisely.”

She gasped quietly, waking up. Y/N quickly studied her surroundings. She could feel the Time Stone close before she noticed the predicament Dr. Strange was in. The glass spikes were pressing into Strange’s skin, causing him to let out a groan.

“Painful, aren’t they?” The alien taunted. Ebony Maw, the name was, Y/N finally getting inside his head. “They were originally designed for microsurgery. And any one of them—“

There was a thump behind Maw, he turned to see Iron Man standing there. Tony’s hand repulsers were ready to fire. Y/N closed her eyes and focused on getting out of the utility ropes without making a big scene.

“—could end your friend’s life in an instant,” Maw continued.

“I gotta tell you, he’s not really my friend,” Tony responded. “Saving his life is more a professional courtesy.”

“Ah, yes. It’s the girl you’re really after.” Maw walked slowly towards Iron Man, beckoning very large metal objects to float behind him. “Too bad you’ve saved nothing. Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.”

“Yeah, but the kid’s seen more movies.”

Iron Man fired a rocket from his shoulder which pierces the side of the ship to Maw’s right and began to suck everything out with depressurization, including Y/N. She quickly portaled herself to behind Tony, relieving herself from the binds. Maw was sucked out into space quickly. Dr. Strange was pulled loose of his bindings and the needles, also heading for the hole. The cloak quickly wrapped around Dr. Strange, trying to keep him inside. Strange and the cloak lost their grip, but Spider-Man shot a web strand, holding him in place. Or trying to. 

The web broke, sending both Strange and Peter towards space. Suddenly, Peter’s suit releases metal spider-like arms, keeping him from being sucked out. Y/N quickly portaled Strange behind her.

“Yes!” Peter shouted, looking at the metal arms. “Wait, what are those?!”

Using the metal arms, Peter leaped to get to a safer place. Tony quickly sprayed nano-particles onto the hole to plug it. Spider-Man landed on his new legs, quickly retracted them. He found the cloak hovering next to him. 

“Hey, we haven’t officially met,” Peter said, offering the cloak his hand. It ignored it, going straight to Strange. “Cool.”

Tony’s suit quickly disappeared back into the arc reactor as he rushed to Y/N. He grabbed onto her arms, examining her body for any injuries.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” He asked. Tony’s hands found a place on her cheeks. “Tell me you’re—“

“I’m fine, Tony,” she responded. “I’m fine.”

He gave her a kiss before pulling her in for a hug. “I was so worried.”

“I’m fine.” She hugged him back, breathing him in. “I’m fine.”

“We’ve gotta turn this ship around,” Strange stated.

“Yeah. Now he wants to run,” Tony replied. “Great plan.”

“No, I want to protect the Stone.”

Tony walked towards the front window, showing that they were speeding. “And I want you to thank me now. Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“For what? Nearly blasting me into space?”

“Who just saved your magical ass? Me.”

“Technically it was me,” Y/N added.

“I seriously don’t know how you fit your head into that helmet,” Strange scoffed.

“Admit it. You should have ducked out when I told you to,” Tony continued. “I tried to bench you. You refused.”

“I tried to bench your girlfriend, yet she refused as well. And, unlike everyone else in your life, I don’t work for you.”

“And due to that fact, we’re now in a flying doughnut billions of miles away from Earth with no backup.”

“I’m backup,” Peter said, raising his hand.

“No. You’re a stowaway.” Tony pointed his finger between himself and Strange. “The adults are talking.”

“I’m sorry, I’m confused as to the relationship here,” Strange said. “Wh—what is he, your ward?”

“No,” Peter responded. “I’m Peter, by the way.”

“Dr. Strange.”

“Oh, we're using our made-up names. Um... I'm Spider-Man, then."

“Peter,” Y/N muttered, rolling her eyes.

“This ship is self-correcting its course,” Tony stated. ���Thing’s on autopilot.”

“Can we control it?” Strange asked, walking closer to Tony. “Fly us home.”

Tony, looking out in space, was lost in bad memories. Of going through the portal, of what Wanda showed him. 

“Tony?” Y/N called softly, stepping towards him. She was concerned. 

“Yeah?” He responded. He met her gaze briefly, quickly looking away cause it was not the time for him to be freaking out or for her to be reading him.

“Can you get us home?” Strange asked.

“Yeah. I heard you. I’m thinking… I’m not so sure we should.”

“What?” Y/N questioned. “Why?”

“Under no circumstance can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos,” Strange stated. “I don't think you quite understand what's at stake here.”

Tony talked over to Strange. “No. It's you who doesn't understand, that Thanos has been inside my head for six years since he sent an army to New York and now he's back! And I don't know what to do. Because I am not sacrificing Y/N for the sake of the universe, for whatever the Stones have told her is her destiny. So I'm not so sure if it's a better plan to fight him on our turf or his but you saw what they did, what they can do. At least on his turf, he's not expecting it. So I say we take the fight to him. Doctor. Do you concur?”

Strange was silent for a moment. “Alright, Stark. We go to him. But you have to understand... if it comes to saving you or the kid or the Time Stone... I will not hesitate to let either of you die. I can't, because the fate of the universe depends on it.”

“Nice. Good. Moral compass. We're straight.” Tony stepped over to Peter, formally tapping each of Peter’s shoulders. “Alright kid. You’re an Avenger now.”

“You skipped me,” Y/N said, walking up to Strange.

“Excuse me?” He questioned.

“You said that if it came between saving Tony, Peter, or the Time Stone, that you’d choose the Time Stone… but what about me?”

“You and I both know, Y/N, that the Stones will not let you die until you have completed what they need you for. No matter what that may be.”

next chapter >

PLEASE FILL FREE TO SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS AND THEORIES! 

DON’T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE QUESTIONS AND ONESHOTS ON THE MASTERLIST. MANY OF YOU HAVEN’T CHECKED OUT VALENTINE’S DAY, I SUGGEST YOU DO!

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[hermionegranger56]

a v late recap of evermore

so i think Taylor Swift sensed that i was Going Through It and was like here you sad bitch, here’s another surprise album to help fix all that. cause good lord evermore is just what i (and i think we all) needed. i truly TRULY can’t believe we’re lucky enough to get a sister album to folklore, i love it so much. the first day it was out i drove myself 2 hours to the very end of the Cape and sat on an empty beach and cried to it and honestly??? magical. here are my thoughts on it that no one asked for:

first, as an overall here, this album complements folklore so well. it’s the spring to folklore’s autumn, it’s self-assured and warm and beautiful. each album shows off her lyrical genius so well and she only grows stronger here. when folklore came out, i was floored because the music was so different for her and so up my alley. each song’s production sucked me in and it was like she was confidently telling us “here is another genre i can work with” (masterfully at that). evermore feels different. it feels like Taylor is so comfortable in this creative space, she isn’t trying to fit into any new molds or expectations, she is just HERE, now, saying “this is who i am and this is my craft”. it’s really been a privilege to watch her grow as an artist. ok. here we go

willow:

god the video was so beautiful, a really good continuation of cardigan. the chorus is so so delicate and prettyyy, thats MY MAN ughhh its so good. it reminds me a lot of invisible string tbh, or if betty from cardigan grew up and found love. this is really one of my favorites, she starts so strong

fave lines: “the more that you say, the less i know/ wherever you stray I follow/ i’m begging for you to take my hand/ wreck my plans, that’s my man”; “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind”

champagne problems:

oh dear god, it’s if all too well and new years day had a baby and it is a MASTERPIECE. i can picture it all, college sweethearts, broken hearts, i feel like its new england at christmas, ivy league old money…its cinematic. and it gets at the feeling like you’ll never be good enough so you leave before that happens (basically before you get to the tolerate it stage??) and OOF. AND GODDAMN THE RANTING BRIDGE (illicit affairs came close on folklore but i think THIS might be the best bridge since All Too Well). I’ve screamed it a lot tbh

fave lines: BRIDGE BABYYYYYY EVERY SINGLE PERFECT WORD. WHAT A SHAME SHES FUCKED IN THE HEADDDD

gold rush:

this one is bright and lovely and catchy!! it reminds me a lot of mirrorball tbh, all like swirly and magical. i can’t even put it into words but i can see this one so clearly. its all rosy and golden

fave lines: “eyes like sinking ships on waters/ so inviting, i almost jump in”; “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/with your hair falling into place like dominoes/ I see me padding across your wooden floors/ with my Eagles t-shirt hanging from your door”; “the coastal town we wandered round/ had never seen a love as pure as it”; “my mind turns your life into folklore”

’tis the damn season:

UGH I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME WANNA TEXT MY EX. the melody is SOOOO satisfying, the progression to “write this down”, i’m obsessed. the idea of being home for the holidays and feeling a little lost and tired and nostalgic for what could have been is something superrrr relatable. this song reminds me of snowy drives around my hometown in the best/worst possible way hahah. one of my top 5 for sure.

fave lines: “we could call it even/ you could call me babe for the weekend/ tis the damn season, write this down/i’m staying at my parents house/ and the road not taken looks real good now”; “and wonder about the only soul/ who can tell which smiles i’m faking”

tolerate it:

oh honeyyyyy this track 5 packs a punch, i mean the lyrics are absolutely BRUTAL in the best way. it’s just so sad, and encompasses a lot of my own insecurity about always feeling like you’re more invested in a relationship and watching someone fall out of love or just stop caring. i LOVE the “my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it”, like bitch YES your love should be celebrated. also taylor sounds angelic on the “I” at the start of the chorus

fave lines: “i know my love should be celebrated/ but you tolerate it”; “i made you my temple, my mural, my sky/ now i’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life”; “what would you do if I/break free and leave us in ruins/ took this dagger in me and removed it”

.

no body, no crime:

YESSSSSSSSS I LOVE THE SUBGENRE OF COUNTRY ABOUT WOMEN KILLING SHITTY HUSBANDS AND THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING GOOD AHHHHH!! I LOVE the beat, i love country taylor, i love the addition of HAIM. UGH ITS SO CATCHYYYY, like i’m obsessed with the slide from “i think he did it but i just. can’t. prove itttttt NOOO no body no crime” UGHHH this is without a doubt in my top five

fave lines: “she thinks i did it but she just can’t prove it”

happiness:

I heard this one described as an emotional marathon and holy shit it is, each line is a sucker punch. i really like how it feels like a conversation and looks at the acceptance and pain that mingle together when a relationship just…ends. her lyrics are unmatched on this album but this is a particularly strong track

fave lines: “i haven’t met the new me yet”; “when did all our lessons start to look like weapons/ pointed at my deepest hurt”; “there is a glorious sunrise/ dappled with the flickers of light/ from the dress i wore at midnight”

dorothea:

this one feels like Betty 2.0 and its so sweet and bright and also kinda sad. it’s wistful!! that’s the word i want, wistful! the vibe is gives off reminds me of Red, like musically. it’s home-y. idk if that makes sense but i like it a lot

fave lines: and if you’re ever tired of being known for who you know/ you know, you’ll always know me”

coney island:

ugh this one is magical, i honestly really love the instrumental to this one, it’s so soothing. the lyrics to me feel like you’re in some dream state, going through every heartbreak you’ve ever been through. I love the addition of The National, the vocals fit together so well (and I like it better than both Bon Iver features i think??)

fave lines: do you miss the rogue/ who coaxed you into paradise and left you there/ will you forgive my soul/ who you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

ivy:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s how i feel about this absolute masterpiece oh my GOD) it makes me so incandescently happy, the folk feel, the lyrics that are so cinematic and poetic and paint such a clear picture (to me) of two Victorian lovers who are in unhappy marriages but don’t let that stop their love. the chorus just like….fills my whole chest, the OH GODDAMN hits so different. and i want “my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand” tattooed on me, that is one of her BEST lines and i will die on that hill. its all so pretty, i can’t deal. the vibe also strongly reminds me of a) invisible string and b) Little Women (2019). i think taylor should do folk and uhhhh only folk please

fave lines: EVERY WORD BUT ESPECIALLY: “i’d meet you where the spirit meets the bone/ in a faith forgotten land”; “oh goddamn/ my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand/ taking mine, but its been promised to another/ oh, i can’t/ stop you putting roots in my dreamland/ my house of stone, your ivy grows/ and now I’m covered in you”; “he wants what’s only yours”; “clover blooms in the field/ springs breaks loose, time is near“; ”so yeah, it’s a fire/ its a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it”

cowboy like me:

ALL RIGHT everyone sleeps on this song but oh my GOD its so good!! it’s smooth and dreamy and gives me that old fashioned, bonnie and clyde type love story and some of the lyrics are so poetic. I really love the addition of the Tim McGraw chords too???? BUT DEAR GOD COULD WE HAVE GIVEN MARCUS MUMFORD MORE OF A ROLE HERE??!! HE SOUNDS WONDERFUL, GIVE HIM A FEATURE, GIVE HIM A WHOLE VERSE. THIS IS A FOLK ALBUM TAYLOR, USE FUCKING MUMFORD AHHHH (i fucking love him omg)

fave lines: “dancin’ is a dangerous game”; “you’re a bandit like me/ eyes full of stars”; “now you hang from my lips/ like the Gardens of Babylon/ with your boots beneath my bed/ forever is the sweetest con”

long story short:

A BOP!! GIVE ME SOME HAPPINESS TAYLOR WOO! I really love how catchy this one is. it feels like her introducing the craziness of her life to joe and being like look all of that was tough but here i am now and I couldn’t be happier. It’s refreshing, self-deprecating and endearing. I couldn’t love it more and it is ALWAYS stuck in my head!

fave lines: “and he’s passing by/ rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky”; “long story short I survived”

marjorie:

ha hahah hah ha this one ENDS me, like dear LORD i need to call my grandma immediately. it is so so GOOD and SAD, like the you don’t know how good something or someone is until they’re gone, but even then, they’re still there with you. I love the grandma wisdom of “never be so clever you forget to be kind” etc. and holy SHIT the addition of Taylor’s grandmother’s opera singing as background vocals is GENIUS AND DEVASTATING, god the part where she goes “i’d think you were singing with me now” and then Marjorie comes in is honestly one of the most beautiful musical moments i’ve heard in a hot minute and it breaks me every time. wow.

fave lines: “never be so polite/ you forget your power/ never wield such power/ you forget to be polite”; “the autumn chill that wakes me up/ you loved the amber sky so much”; “and if i didn’t know better/ i’d think you were singing to me now”

closure:

ok i’m sorry, this is my only skip here. I really do love the lyrics and the idea of, yeah no you don’t deserve closure from me. i just can’t get past the pots and pans beginning, its too chaotic. but i’m sure it’ll grow on me! it does feel like finally moving on and i do love that about it

fave lines: “don’t treat me like/ some situation that needs to be handled”; “i know i’m just a/ wrinkle in your new life/ staying friends would/ iron it out so nice”

evermore:

god her voice is SO soothing in this one, it’s literally hypnotic. the song itself feels wandering and dark at first, like you’re stuck in this depression, and then bon iver comes in and it picks up and it feels like coming out of the trees, into the sunlight and finding your way again. finding that the pain WOULDNT be for evermore like she says. it feels like an ending and a beginning. beautiful

fave lines: “writing letters/ addressed to the fire”; “and when i was shipwrecked/ i thought of you/ in the cracks of light/ i dreamed of you”; “and i was catching my breath/ floors of the cabin creaking under my step/ and i couldn’t be sure/ i had a feeling so peculiar/ this pain wouldn’t be for evermore”

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #12: "FUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooouuoock me." - Maynor

Well. Looks like Bryce wasnt trust worthy at all. I can only have annabelle but we dont talk too much. I need to win immunity or my ass is gone next.

I definately need to win this immunity if I want to regroup. A even bigger fire in me wanting to play even more aggressive. Ive been passive. Now I dont really care who goes. Except for Annabelle ❤️. Im going to try and throw wrenches in their plans and try to get someone from their side out.

I’m on 230. Idk what my goal is going to be but i think im going to stop around 2pm so i can go back to 1 before 5pm deadline comes. I really need to win this immunity. 😰

Update. I am now at 500 for the number. Its barely noon. Idk if i should keep going or start to go back down to one. I just hope im the furtherest from everyone else. I would die if i dont win.

I feel so terrible. like that Nathan vote was the hardest thing I have had to do in this game so far. He betrayed my trust a lot. But I really got along so well with him. And Nathan deserves better. Ugh. Like Brian and I literally feel gross. And now I have to do damage control with Anna and make it seem like a last minute switch when actually it was me being a terrible person and plotting all round against one of the nicest players ever. I'm feeling rough and this season is getting really tough.

Well I am still here! I am honestly shocked that I am, but I will TAKE it gladly! Maybe I will stop being the target now cause nathan is gone (we shall see though, I feel like Bryce and brian are now HATED by Maynor and Anna) which will be nice. I now have the lovely (....) distinction of having the most votes cast against me in celestial history. and ALL Since the merge started lmao! I really am a magnet for votes huh. I feel good, might have to be rude to someone to get a target off my back though so uh maybe bitch boi matt will make a return at some point? We shall see

its so awk trying to talk to annabelle bc 1 she doesnt talk to me but more importantly idk what to say like. she feels betrayed but sharkys the one who threw nathans name out NNN she should be glad if it were up to me shed be in ponderosa right now ASFKJADSHFKJS. idk like i literally just forced a convo with her so i could confront her about leaking to sharky and she just ghosts. i want DRAMA. i want TEA. and yet nothing. maybe instead of doing the most i should be doing immunity but counting is literally so anxiety inducing and daunting JKHDAFSDKJFHKJ. anyways 6th is cute too

FUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooouuoock me. I got to 626 to pay my respect to Stitch and i mess up gojng down from 323 and put 321. I never wanted to cry so bad. I wanted to scream into the void. I cant even with this challenge. I restarted and back at 404. Its 1:25 and deadline 5. Hopefully itll be enough time.

OK, so I definitely won't win immunity, but I tried to do well!  I don't think my submission will be good enough, but I can hope and pray it is!!  I don't even know if I fucked up, but I don't think I did... so hopefully 317 is the number for me!!

In other tea time news, Nathan... ya... um... when you see this I want you to truly understand how heartbroken I am at what happened.  I knew with all the strong-minded gameplay and trust you had in me that we would've been final 2 given the chance, but I also think that what threw me off was Annabelle's constant tea spilling at Sharky and the fact that your closest allies (aside from myself) were her and Maynor, who I like but have little to no actual game relationship with.  In addition, your desire to take out Matt every single round of the merge?  Wig.

I also found out Bryce was the other Matt vote during the merge vote... so... wow I'm powerful....

According to me and Bryce's plans in this game, ideally, Sharky will go this round... but after sending home Nathan last round, my whole ass heart is on some different shit.  I just feel like me doing that would be another rough ass round, and I don't think I could handle it.  It was easier when people like Nick, who annoyed me on a game level, were the names being thrown out, especially with how cocky he was... but now I'm like... wow, these people?  Amazing.

I think Sharky winning immunity wouldn't be too bad because then I can finally push Annabelle out and won't have to worry about her, so I'm banking on that!  I don't wanna ruin Bryce and I's plans in this game, I just feel more confident sitting with Sharky than like anyone else.

I also think my relationship with Maynor is so much better, and I can actually work with him further down the road.  He sketched me out a lot in the past, but I really think it's a solid ally for me if I can get him passed this round.  Annabelle or Sharky are the ideal targets, but I'm really feeling an Annabelle vote this round.  I may not be in the best spot for immunity this round, but I know I'll have my A-game on and ready next round, so I'm READY.

I was doing so well in this challenge. I had like 900 and I screwed up. Now I'm feeling the pressure. And I keep messing up. Now I've got less than 3 hours to make it up and hopefully finally win something. Brian told me he did not do well. And I don't want anyone else to win because it will limit our options going forward.

I'm over it. I screwed up HARD. And now I have like no time to recover. I'm over it.

I decided to go back to 626. And at 2:41pm i was able to get back down to 1. Im happy but i really hope that was enough because if it wasnt then im going to cry. I really want to win this. Stitch my favorite please give me luck. 🦑

last round was so risky i hope it doesnt just get me 6th. i tried to get together with anna again and i think we are but maynor not so much which sucks but as long as brian is real with wanting to keep me i should be good imagine if it was fake and he wasnt really taking me to the end NNN adsjkfhadskj the gag of the season? but ugh sharky really wants me out again like maybe get a clue and stop.

That was upsetting. But Bryce did really well so I applaud him. Its most likely going to be me tomorrow night. It sucks but i can at least try and see if i can find a way to stay.

There is some hope. Annabelle and I want to make it a tie with Matt. And when its rock time, Brian or Sharky hopefully get the odd color and they are sent home. Thats the only play right now that I think can save me. I have to rely on Bryce who i dont trust at all anymore. But kind of have to if i want to survive tomorrow.

i'm down for some mutual destruction this vote. I hope that this pays off or it could totally fuck me over but it is what it is if this works out i'll take this as like a win for nathan and i'll  be in a much better spot i think. wish me luck <3

I WON IMMUNITY PPL CAN TRY TO COME FOR ME BUT THEY CANT SURE MAYBE I PLAYED BAD IDK I HAVE BAD SENSE OF SELF WORTH BUT MAYBE I DID PLAY WELL BUT MAYBE I DIDNT BUT U KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND FACTS!!! ME WINNING THIS IMMUNITY. BRIAN DOESNT WANT TO VOTE SHARKY ALL OF A SUDDEN WHICH IS SKETCH BUT NOW THAT I HAVE IMMUNITY IM NOT AFRAID OF VOTING SHARKY AND HOPING ANNABELLE AND MAYNOR VOTE WITH ME IM TALKING IN CAPS BC IM SO EXCITED MY STOMACH WAS LITERALLY A MESS ALL DAY BC OF HOW NERVOUS I WAS COUNTING UP AND DOWN AND SEVERAL BREAKDOWNS LATER I WON WOOOOOOOHHOOO IT REALLY IS BRYCE HISTORY MONTH!!!! anyways yaa i hope f5 is me brian matt maynor anna and that brian is real one and uses vote steal there so we auto have immunity but maybe i try to win immunity again anyway to make sure im safe.... but then at f5 i think anna has to go but she'll be so mad idk maybe maynor.. or  maybe matt whomst knows KJASDHFKJS but wooh in this moment... i am at peace

Im convinced annabelle is like a marine biologist or something with how much she loves sharky! i just want him out KFJASDHFKJ i love being pushy jk i literally hate it but i just want him out its not a lot to ask and i feel like im getting played idk but at this point my loyalty is to brian so if he betrays me its like w/e NNN just hoping itll work out maybe i comp my way into a losing finalist spot... anyways i just got into dear evan hansen again so love that renewed obsession

The Fajita Fellas are actually a solid alliance. I know I've been skeptical of Bryce in the past but I'm actually starting to trust him which is cool. HOWEVER it's also an issue because if I'm going to keep trying to save Anna it's only going to get harder. I'm hoping this vote will be easy squeezy. I told the FF that Maynor is easy and least likely to have an idol. They seem good with that. So...we'll see.

I am very nervous for tonight. I am 2 of the options for Sharky, Brian, and Matt to do. Annabell and I are throwing each other under the bus to them. But our plan is to vote Sharky and hoping have Bryce with us and cause a tie. And on the revote hope one flips on Sharky or we go to rocks. And hopefully Matt or Brian get the rocks.

The vote is me tonight. If plan goes according to it should be 3 vote sharky and 3 vote me. Im really hoping they flip on sharky or that Matt or Brian get rocked out. 🤞🤞🤞

So this vote seems so simple, its like kinda amazing for once. Last tribal had so much deceit and lying to get Nathan out and this tribal is like. so. quiet? you could literally hear a pin drop. Maynor and Anna seem like they have legit given up trying to get further, with both apparently voting for the other. How quiet it is is making me slightly nervous, but I do know that if i do somehow leave i am very proud of my game I have played. and I will have the same placement as Standrea so like nothing could be wrong with that huh?

The vote ties, 3 votes Maynor and 3 votes Sharky.

Im died. It worked but now here is hoping for matt or brian to flip. Im scared n excited.

bro... wtf. Can I say I am mad at Bryce? no not really I saw this coming from a mile off, hell even from the other side as the Atlantic. so like mad? nah? Its just... making me so sad. Like I REALLY DO NOT want to go home, i've been through too much to get to this point. But like,... I REALLY love sharky as a person. Like, I love him loads so this is a REALLY hard decision. Fuck my life I don't know what to do

I HATE REVOTES. SO. MUCH. i AM REFUSING TO TELL ANNA ANYTHING cause i like know she will immediately run to sharky and if I am to flip I am gonna tell him first not let him hear via Anna cause that is fucking SHADY. she's just pissing me off tbqh and its just like??? at least be cordial and get off invisible for fucking once

i think the plan worked? it was so awk trying to talk to matt i felt bad but i hope he understands he said he did so! and like... idk its just so hm idk idk. hm. like brian and matt both prob gonna flip wooh. matt said i played well so maybe i did like i tend to never think i played well but maybe i did but maybe hes just lying so KJFSDHJFA wooh

BRIAN IS THE SKETCHIEST PERSON IVE EVER PLAYED WITH I JUST WANNA GO TO THE END WITH HIM BUT HES LITERALLY BACKSTABBING ME I WANTED HIM TO JUST 4-2 SHARKY BUT NO HE WANTED TO MAKE IT GO TO ROCKS TO FEEL BETTER OR WELL GO TO TIE NOT ROCKS AND NOW HES LIKE SORRY SHARKY HAS TO STAY LIKE NO HE ACTUALLY DOESNT HAVE TO STAY IF U VOTE HIM AND ANNA STOPS BEING FAKE AND TRYING TO KEEP HIM WHEN HES DONE NOTHING BUT LIE TO HER AHHHH THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING SJDKFHADSKJFHSDKJF DSHFKJADSHFKJADSHFKASJFHKADSJFHADSKJSKFHASDKJFHASKJFAHKJFS ps: i love everyone in this game... but in this moment? i was ATTACKED

It’s almost about that time. 20 more minutes. I am very nervous. I hope that Bryce and Annabelle stick with me and hope Matt or Brian flipped if not then at least go to rocks. Im really hoping that this move works. But this final 6. I ❤️ Annabelle. ❤️ Sharky. ❤️ Brian. ❤️ Bryce. ❤️ Matt. They are all awesome.

Brian is rocked out.

[henerala]

Plans

The year is coming to an end, and its crazy. CRAZY how it went by so fast. I’ve learned so many things and I’m definitely on the road for hella lot of change. I’m so excited for it. 

Some plans that I want to get by: Exercise everyday, Work and hustle like hell, Go on dates by myself, Read books and do some art again, Clear out my wardrobe, Go hiking, Go to cafes and read books there, Eat more breakfasts. Basically invest on myself. Do that once a week. 

I’ve been so obsessed about being the perfect girl for Volvo, and everyone around me, that I never realized I’m neglecting myself. It was great to be there for everybody, but just like Secretary Kim, I wanna find myself. 

Before I go to New Zealand and find even more great things about the place and myself and Volvo, I wanna enjoy this time by myself first. At that time, when me and my bf are going to be hustling and just enjoying our time together, there would be a time when we will be only there for each other, and might just forget our ‘alone times’ too, because of how long we were apart. So during this time, the prelude, I will spend as much time with myself doing things I wanted to do, see the things I wanted to see. Even if im doing it alone. I could be those food reviewers who tests out food first. So once me and Volvo go back to SG, we can just go to the places that I find worthy! Cos for sure, not every place that is in my bucket list is perfect.

Our society is so obsessed with finding the ‘right partner’, or being in the most perfect relationship, but never about finding yourself first. That’s why lots of relationships break. Its when the other person realizes that they want something else, or that they wanna achieve something but the RS is hindering them. Okay, that is fine, because some people realize it later than others, but when it comes to Marriage and Kids, that kind of stunt is really sickening and bad to everyone. 

So before me and Volvo enter that kind of phase, where we will be mostly around each other, and finding our alone time is quite hard, considering the hectic work/school schedules plus settling adult stuff PLUS together time, you can already tell that shit is gonna be tough to squeeze in. So imma do whatever i wanna do first. Achieve whatever goals i wanna achieve, be it learning how to swim, or dyeing my hair red, or getting another tattoo, i will do it now!! There is no better feeling than achieving something by yourself to be honest. The memory would always be there and its the best feeling ever. It kinda reminds me of the time I swam with butandings. Though Juhi and Haz were there, and it was pretty great ofc, but if I did that by myself, the thrill would have been off the charts! Imagine how paranoid I would be..... That kinda gets me excited hahaha. 

I think that our LDR is tough, it really is, but maybe it was given to us for us to find each other, and then find ourselves. In comfort and flexibility. My baby is working really hard, and is always talking to me. I realize now that Im becoming hard on him for his alone time. I am preventing him from growing when I do that. Because Im not letting him make mistakes. Im scared too, but I gotta be strong and trust that someday he will realize those mistakes and grow from them. And if it gets too much for me, then i will tell him what went wrong, and I will give him space to breathe, water him with inspiration, but i wont ever force him to grow from now on. theres still a long way to go for us, we are so VERY young, and everything is still so possible. as long as we support each other and love wholeheartedly.

I know now that relationships arent about being the best couple, or achieving everything together, but by having a balance, and being each others best friends. i never breathe on angie’s neck, but when shit is close to nearing the fan thats when i tell them to stop and check themselves before they wreck themselves (lol luving this phrase now). because i realize that they are THEIR own person, and God and the cosmos brought them to me for a reason, so if there is anything to change, they can do it first, and i would just be supporting them whichever path they choose to take. they’re also old enough to realize their mistakes, yes, sometimes stubborn enough to ignore them, but also loves me enough to listen to me for advice. thats my baby when things get rough too. he never fails to listen. i know that even if he doesnt acknowledge it. such a mysterious man.. 

we are our own person. just like how volvo is volvo, and im me. if he is walking fast, then ill join his pace, and walk two steps faster for us to get to our finish line, our goals. we’ll work hard, to support each other, and become the better version of ourselves every time. not just for us, but for ourselves. 

this new revelation is an exciting one. im so ready for 2019 because of this. not just our future, but MY future. my life is gonna be one hell of a ride, im gonna make sure it was worth it, and that i had fun throughout it all.