#i kinda lost motivation to draw today

[gomzdrawfr]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙🖤💙 ༘ ─── Day 11

➳ Candy

bonus with my oc Raven:

[princema-k]

welcome to my evolution...

[whismann]

Father daughter bonding time because father daughter bonding time

[rinnie-marylin]

So i drew this a long time ago but abandoned it because (1) i lost motivation and (2) it might be controversial, with the bible in it. But i picked it back up and decided to finish it.

Careful becky, snitches get stitches!

I'm pretty sure i drew mrs.davis wrong but i guess we can pretend it's a different teacher.

I gave up on drawing tobey myself so i just picked a random image from his wiki, Made it funnier anyways.

It's kinda bothering me how you can tell i started this a LONG time ago and only decided to finish the last of it TODAY. I guess it kinda shows how much i improved my art though🔥

The inspo

[dailynyarinder]

wakey wakey

Is someone home?

HI GUYS MOD HERE IM SO SORRY

Another quick Daily Nyarinder coming soon! Plus… a challenge? 👀

An explanation for my absence + details on an upcoming Daily Nyarinder event under the cut!!

So kinda personal bt my therapist left her practice unexpectedly so I got off my adhd and depresso meds at the same time as I was moving to another house and I just… really lost steam and haven’t had the energy to work on this project orz

i love cotl with all my heart! But my main fandom is svsss (shout out to kamkamquats on twt, this blog was inspired by their dailybingpup!! 💖) and trying to move all my shit over from twitter to bluesky so it doesn’t feed Elon Musk’s ai has also taken a lot of energy that would have been spent drawing for both cotl and svsss.

Additionally, last time I checked this blog I got some anon asks trying to pull me into fandom wank. The admin of this account is a grown adult with a spouse, a house, community protests to organize/attend, cosplays to make, a startup business to take care of; online fandoms are my comfort place and have been since I was 13, and as such I resolved years ago to stay away from fandom drama and just do what makes me happy. I’m really used to how chill and sweet svsss fandom is, so it was kinda startling to remember that younger fandoms are very drama-prone. I deleted those messages, but it still left a sour taste in my mouth whenever I came back to this blog.

As such, I’ve been on a break. And I probably will continue this hiatus until things settle on bluesky and I can spend more time on my friend’s cotl discord server to get my motivation back.

-

THAT SAID, I hope to do a little daily nyarinder art challenge for anyone who still follows this blog! Instructions and rules will be posted separately later today, but the idea is thus:

“YOU, dear reader, are just as wonderful, creative, and capable an artist as any cultist here. What do YOU want to see in Daily Nyarinder’s escapades? Pick up a craft and get creating! Use whatever you’ve got—whether it’s a fancy tablet, ibispaint on a touchscreen phone (that’s how dailynyarinder has been made so far 👀), a pen and the back of a receipt, needle and thread, hook and yarn, scrapbooking paper and scissors, a word doc and a keyboard, a camera, etc etc etc. Whatever medium brings you joy and renews your belief in our benevolent God of Death, this humble Narinder blog calls upon you to make and share a Daily Nyarinder post of your own!

Skill level doesn’t matter in the face of creativity. Whether you’re a renowned oil painter, a fanfic author, a newbie artist, or a kid who just really likes cats, all offerings are encouraged and welcome!

As for content rules, the Nyarinderverse is full of strange and unusual things; anything goes! HOWEVER, since this is a sfw blog and is followed by lots of minors, I’ll ask that if anyone participating decides to draw nsfw content, please make sure it is appropriately tagged and locked behind some sort of link—whether it’s a link to twitter, privatter, or elsewise. Any NSFW that isn’t hidden from immediate view will not be reblogged on this blog. If and when I reblog potential nsfw content, it will be tagged “NSFW” BY ME BY AS WELL so that my followers can filter it out if they need.

Any characters, ships, potential squicks or triggers, etc should be tagged appropriately.

Please know that this blog will never, EVER harass or condone/encourage harassment based on what you make, but as the mod I retain the right to not reblog works that squick me out personally. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make them; it just means they might not all appear here.

Works may be posted separately under the hashtag #DailyNyarinderChallenge or submitted to this blog!

Finally, and most importantly, HAVE FUN!”

^^^ the challenge text will be reposted with some promotional artwork later, but does this sound like it would be a fun event? Let me know what you think.

Look forward to the resolution of the current daily nyarinder arc this week! But then I’ll likely go back on break again until things settle. 💖🐈‍⬛

[kohyuuu]

about me / writing info / masterlist 。. !

✄ ———————————————-

- i go by koh (cuh-oh) / kohyu / kev or kevin !

—- the bolded are names that me and other people use mainly x

- non binary-masculine leaning/presenting! // any pronouns <3

- vietnamese-american xx

- panromantic, cupidromantic & polyamorous asexual

- minor !!

- an introvert !

🎀 🌙 🩵 !

—— (i know that it may not be possible to be cupid + pan but those are labels im generally comfortable with)

♫ ° › ↓

my music taste!!

✄ ———————————————-

k-pop:

— newjeans, txt (ult group) & seventeen / svt

——- i own three seventeen albums, and one txt album

albums / photocards i currently own!!

seventeen:

- bss second wind album

- attacca ep

- your choice (8th mini album)

txt:

- thursday’s child album

photocards:

- two (three) photocards of seungkwan (svt)

—- I LOST MY YOURS TRULY SEUNGKWAN PC AND IM ACTUALLY TWEAKING BRUHHHH 😭🙏

artists outside of k-pop:

- sabrina carpenter

- olivia rodrigo

- renee rapp

- wave to earth

- suggi

- tv room

- melanie martinez

—- im aware of the allegations against them, but i can’t let go of their music. i don’t listen to their music directly from their youtube channel or stream on any platforms so she can’t generate revenue, i’ve also never made any recent purchases on their albums, eps, and merchandise

—- i also only listen / watch full shows of their recent concert tour, the trilogy tour lol

- chappell roan

✰ ˚ ❥ ↓

my interests !

✄ ———————————————-

- writing

- reading (depends on what i read tho)

- drawing / doodling

- playing video games

- being lazy 🤣

- overusing “x” or “xoxo” LMFAO sorry it’s fun to use

—- i’m not going to directly post my art here but ill let it shine through my writing works if there is art / drawings / doodles attached to them.

—- im insecure about my own shitty art and i don’t want anyone else to feel how i feel, plus i don’t like calling myself an artist x

📖・。↓

favorite games / movies / books !

✄ ———————————————-

movies:

- m3gan (2022)

- matilda (1996 & 2022)

- barbie (2023)

- mean girls (2004 & 2024…? bro ion know how to feel about that one gang 😭🙏)

- wicked (2024)

- minecraft (2025)

—- y’all i’m planning to see that one in theaters so ill let y’all know how it is LOL

games:

- class of 09 trilogy (visual novel)

- roblox (w game 💪)

- minecraft (also a w game 💪)

- genshin impact

—- i actually left genshin in march 2023 but i might come back again x

- stardew valley

- splatoon trilogy (1, 2, & 3)

- who’s your daddy

- hello neighbor series

- octodad

- dead island duology (1 & 2)

—- i only finished dead island 2 once as dani and im playing it again as bruno !!

books / books i wanna read:

- percy jackson series by rick riordan

- hello universe by erin entrada kelly

- charlie & the chocolate factory by roald dahl

- matilda by roald dahl

- the witches by roald dahl

📝 。・↓

writing information:

✄ ———————————————-

my boundaries for writing:

- im never going to write smut, anything dirty or perverted simply because im not comfortable with it, so expect a lot of fluff and dating headcanons for my ocs x

- if any asks or requests for characters or franchises are made towards me, ill try to complete them if my motivation is up for it !

—- i can’t promise that i’ll respond to every ask / request but i’ll try to ! im going to make it clear that i’m a person just like you and i can’t do that many things at once. i may also not respond due to mental health, school, etc. but i’ll eventually get back to you! so please watch out for that xx

- since i usually do my own art, ill try to attach a doodle or a drawing on my writing works! that also kinda depends on motivation and if im not feeling self-conscious about my art skills today LMAO

- because my blog is an x reader blog, im always going to make my reader androgynous. i won’t write for male or female readers specifically because i want my writing to be enjoyed by everyone xoxo

- all my ocs are written to be panromantic or biromantic!!

📒 。・↓

masterlist:

✄ ———————————————-

—- there will probably be a part 2 to this, so ill leave a link below to the second part of the masterlist if there ever is one LOL

⤷ school/real world ocs

・current ocs

・oc universe info + current ocs

・more info abt renny, arlo & venice (the trio) ???

RENNY COLLYMORE

・you and renny at your school’s fall dance <3 (my art!!)

—- (androgynous reader)

・renny collymore x androgynous reader - introduction!!

・renny collymore dating headcanons (+ art)

—- (androgynous reader)

[crowkip]

hello!!! little life update below the cut, not rlly all that art related so feel free to scroll past ₍^. ̫.^₎ .𖥔 ݁ ˖

firstly thank u for your continued loveliness while ive been gone!! im hoping im able to draw again soon bc i miss sharing my silly little dc scribbs with you all sm :'3

anyway oughghg,, so ive mentioned it a few times on here but over the last year my physical health took a really unexpected turn. it's been difficult to adapt to as someone who grew up fully able-bodied and ive lost most of my friendships along the way since i cant really go out and travel to see people anymore, i think most people where im from are just more comfy looking the other way with these things but it's still just kind of tricky to try to deal with it all on my own. anyway today, after being completely stuck inside for weeks due to mobility issues, i finally got a wheelchair. having v complicated feelings about it all (bit of imposter syndrome lol) but im hoping having some freedom to get out n about again will help bring back a little bit of motivation to sketch!! the combo of fatigue, pain in my hands, and just being stuck inside for weeks on end has made drawing feel impossible recently and ive rlly been missing it so im hoping this can help get things rolling again. even though things r kinda balls rn i'll always do my best to stay optimistic bc no matter what there are always more cool bugs to find and little cats to pet in the world. i hope you all had a happy holiday season, thank you for sticking around (ˊᗜˋ*) ♡

[starry-nights-garden]

Jiung ✧ Home

✧ P1Harmony Jiung x gn!reader ✧ words: ~600 ✧ genre: fluff, comfort ✧ warnings: (him running his fingers through reader's hair)

You don’t know how much time has passed since you arrived at Jiung’s place and you sat down on the sofa next to him, resting your heavy head on his left shoulder. All you know is that you’ve been watching him do little drawings in a sketchbook for a while now, and you lost count of how many times he’s turned pages because he already filled the last one up with his scribbles. You know that he sometimes sits down to draw for however long he feels like in order to clear his head. As for you, watching him draw almost has a therapeutic effect on you. You love watching the way he lets the tip of whatever pen was closest to him when he decided to start drawing race across the paper at times, or how he moves it very slowly, adding some detail to the drawing. You too can let go of your thoughts as you get lost in the countless lines and shapes he puts down on the paper. Usually, watching him sketch is simply a fun pastime for you, but today you really need the distraction. 

“How long are you gonna keep watching me for?” You can hear Jiung’s calm voice interrupting the silence around you. He doesn’t take his eyes off the paper in front of him while speaking. 

“I don’t know,” you retort briefly, not really having the motivation to talk. An endearing smile appears on your boyfriend’s face. He adds some finishing details to his sketch and then turns a page before glancing over at you.

“What’s wrong, love?” he mumbles. He lets go of the sketchbook that he’s been holding with his left hand so far and rests it on his thighs, so that he can reach out and wrap his fingers around your hand instead.

“Just… a lot’s been going on,” you say, keeping your answer vague. Truth be told, you don’t want to talk about all the things that are plaguing your thoughts all day anyway, and instead just enjoy the time you have with Jiung, being just amongst yourselves.

“Don’t wanna tell me?” he assumes. You shake your head, rubbing your cheek against his shoulder in the process. He carefully puts the pen and the sketchbook aside so he can sit more comfortably, and then he puts his arms around you, so you can rest your head against his chest. “Don’t you think it would help you, though?” he pries, but you don’t change your mind.

“No,” you mutter. “Maybe later, but for now this is enough.” You close your eyes for a while, just enjoying having him close to you, and the way his warmth makes you feel cozy inside. “You know that feeling,” you continue, your voice a mere whisper, “when you come home after a long day and you feel yourself slowly recharge, simply because you’re somewhere familiar and comfy?”

“Of course,” Jiung answers.

“That’s kinda what it feels like to be with you,” you say. Silence follows, and from the way you can hear your boyfriend’s heartbeat speeding up in his chest close to your ear, you can tell that he’s simply too flustered to find a good answer quickly. If you were to open your eyes and look up at him now, you might even see him blush.

“Oh,” he eventually answers, sounding a little awkward, but still deeply touched. “That’s good then… isn’t it?” Jiung lifts his hand to put it on top of your head, and he runs his fingers through your hair in a slow and comforting manner. It’s almost as if he was trying to protect you from whatever made you feel bad in the first place. “I’m glad,” he eventually adds while pulling you a bit closer in his embrace, “that I can be a person like that for you.”

[nordic-language-love]

I have a day off today, so I’m ducking in to tell y’all a little bit about how things are going!

I’ve taught my first classes! Most of them I’ve had another teacher assisting me, but yesterday I did my first solo class. It was... okay lol. One of the boys disengaged the moment I said I don’t speak Japanese so they have to speak English, and proceeded to yawn audibly through all activities and pretend to be asleep when spoken to (which I put on my lesson report form, so the regular teacher will hopefully tell him off haha).

On that note... Japanese kids really are like any other kids. Everyone said to me before I went, “ohhh I bet Japanese kids are so well-behaved and respectful!” I can assure you they are not lmao. Some are, others are little terrors.

I’ve had some really wholesome moments. The other day during one of the younger classes this one boy (~3 years old) was mostly a little terror, running around all the time and hiding in the corner. But then during story time he sat in my lap and directed me to hold him. Then later in the lesson he went and hid in the corner again, so I went over to him and asked if he was okay. And he just snuggled into me, so we spent the rest of the class like that.

So far 4-5 year-olds are my favourites to teach. You can be so fun and silly with them! Sure, they don’t want to sit down and do things, but I’ve found some useful hacks already (pro-tip: if you let them rub things off the whiteboard or draw a shape for answering questions correctly, they’ll suddenly be very, very attentive)

I enjoy this kind of teaching a LOT more than teaching on italki. The lesson prep I have to do is minimal and all time outside of teaching is my own, basically. Not to mention it’s much more active and I don’t spend my life hunched over a desk!

Speaking of free time, I spend most of it studying languages and it’s awesome!

My Japanese level is definitely improving. My speaking not so much, but my comprehension for sure. The kids do speak Japanese in class, both to each other (obviously) and to me, and I’m rapidly getting used to certain words and speech patterns.

I can also now more or less get through interactions at train stations and konbinis! I even managed to ask a police lady for directions the other day (go me being so panicked about being late for my train I didn’t even care that my Japanese was broken af. Literally like, if I don’t at least try to speak Japanese rn I’m going to miss my train and be late for my classes)

I’ve learned that despite being in the country, active studying is really important. I’ve not learned anything through pure osmosis; I’ve only learned through active studying and then having the immersion reinforce it. So yes, my level is improving because I’m in the country and surrounded by the language, but I have to put in the effort first.

Also, the general level of English in Japan is not high. I’ve been spoilt by travelling around Europe where I can usually find someone who speaks broken English well enough to help me if I’m stuck (or if not then I can communicate in broken French/German/Spanish), and coming to Japan and being lost at a train station and literally not being able to communicate is a HUGE motivation to get good at the language quick!

I LOVE Yamagata! There was a snowstorm the day after I moved in and I feel like I live in a winter wonderland. I can see the mountains almost everywhere I go in the city. It’s not a busy city, and every train ride makes me feel like I’m in a Studio Ghibli movie. I love it I love it I love it.

I also love the dialect here! It’s easy to understand and it’s kinda musical!

My personal supervisor (PS) is awesome and has been super helpful. I’m so grateful! A lot of people from my training course have said that their PSs haven’t given them much/any orientation, whereas mine helped me set up my internet and a Japanese bank account as well as went over my schedule with me and ensured I did at least a week of teaching with someone else in the classroom before I was on my own.

I’ve only met 3 of my colleagues, but they’re all nice. One of them lives in my block and we’ll teach together for two days next week. Another of them loves the snow and the cold as much as I do, and I think we’ll get on super well.

My flat is tiny. It’s basically one room! But it has loads of storage space and being as small as it is means it’s super easy to heat (which is fortunate, because it was -10ºC the other night).

The tap water tastes great! In Nagoya it tasted so fucking weird I couldn’t even drink it. But here it’s awesome.

I’m enjoying trying new things! I’m going through all the different candies/chocolate brands at konbinis and supermarkets and I’ve hardly had the same thing twice since I got here (including bento). This is super different to how I was in the UK, where I was stuck in a routine and knew what I liked and didn’t want to go out of my comfort zone.

So yeah, I went from crying and wondering if I’d made a huge mistake the first 2-3 days of being here to absolutely thriving less than a month later. I’m so happy right now, truly living my dream, finally able to flourish and grow in a way I always knew deep down I could.

[mxartbo]

✦ Hello fellow artists !!

I'm new here pls don't bully me.

My name is Mx. Rom Bo, I'm an it/its and this is my art blog.

MAIN ACCOUNT: @mxbo

I reblog mainly Sonic and TF2 stuff if you want to check it out :D

THINGS NOBODY ASKED:

[Why did you create this blog?] I made this blog specifically to post my art and nothing else because I fear my things will get lost in a sea of reblogs there. I just want to have everything more organized.

[Will you post fanart for the fandoms you're in?] I don't know if I'll post fanarts here because I'm not confident with my drawings of anthropomorphic characters/furry and old men (WHY DID I CHOOSE SUCH DIFFICULT FANDOMS TO BE IN AAAAAH)

[What will you post then?] Glad you asked!! I'll post:

✧ WIPs of the COOL ANIMATION SCHOOL PROJECT™ I'm working on. Which features a cast of… furry characters. Am I a masochist? The answer's: follow me on my journey to find out!! ✧ Art Fight attacks: I'M I WAS TEAM STARDUST. Yeah, I lost motivation 'cuz TikTok kinda ruined it for me this year :[ + the animation is preeeeetty important because I have a deadline. ✧ I'll sketch any request I get!! (Just not today) (And only if I feel capable enough). ✧ Sketches, anatomy/colour studies, etc…

Still here? HERE ARE MY PFPs SIDE BY SIDE. (I edited this one exclusively for the blog HEHEHEHE)

[blushinmoon]

What's your favorite part about making an OC? What inspires you to make new ones?

Well, I think my favorite part of making OCs is scoping out their personalities, who they are, what motivates them- and I love to experiment with how I draw them expressing those emotions and interactions. I haven’t been posting much of my art recently to Tumblr but I’ve been posting to insta and just finished a comic earlier today and it was really just me experimenting with the moods and setting between 2 character dynamics (Sel and Exodus)

For making new ones tho- I’m kinda relearning how to make OCs. Exodus is the first new OC I’ve made in years bc I lost a lot of my steam and confidence before, my partner has been my main driving force of motivation because they encourage me to make them. Next I’m planning on making Sel a band to play with possibly… I haven’t started yet but hey when I have a process down I’ll see if I make a post about it

[alcohol1maid]

Hi guys! Sorry for not posting in a while, I kinda lost motivation to post for a few days, have this doodle of Idol! Kema I drew today as an apology!

Honestly I might draw more Idol! Kema and draw her in more cute clothing since I had lots of fun drawing this! ❤️🖤

[fainthedcherry]

PARAMORE RELEASED THEIR A24 TRIBUTE COVER TODAY. AND I GOT INSPIRED BY THE LYRICS AND THE VISUALIZER.

IMAGE CREDITS BC VERY OBVIOUSLY THIS IS AN EXPERIMENTAL PIC COLLAGE PIECE PRIMARILY BELOW DESC (I DID NOT TAKE THE COOL PICS OBV.)

OK GIANT CREDIT BLOCK GO (Freepik and pexels my beloved saved my entire college year lmao):

1 OCEAN WAVES

2 OCEAN WAVES AGAIN

3 YES A THIRD OCEAN WAVE

4 VERY COOL DROPLETS

5 FLAME. OO FIRE PRETTYYY /POS

6 BG I CHEATED YOU INTO BELIEVING IS RAIN

The drawing though is made by my acoustic arse /lh

THE LYRICS ARE TAKEN FROM THE VID I LINKED. HAYLEY'S VOICE MY BELOVED AND FOREVER DEAREST ENTIRE BAND /POSPOSPOS. I wanna sing like Hayley so badly, she is such an idol to me, when it comes to vocals and I wish to sing as expressive as her some day 🤧✨💖

--

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY, OTHER THAN I'VE BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH SHORT DRAWINGS, THAT TAKE UNDER A DAY TO COMPLETE TO FIGURE OUT SOME THINGS I WANNA DO AS AN ARTIST AND POSSIBLY COMMISSIONS. + These drawings genuinely kinda de-stress so it's been free therapy too, oops. I wanna do more of these vector-style drawings, that are just me taking lyrics and creating these fun collages, of things that inspire me or I like. It's a chill practice and lets my creativity actually do the work for once, instead of my usual need to outdo myself in every drawing and improve lmao. Improvement is cool and all, but dear god did I not realise how hard my need for perfection last year stress and strangle me tf out. I seriously need to re-evaluate the way I approach art as this massive, intimidating medium, when most artists literally draw for fun, and for me it's been like...A Sisyphean task.

--

If you enjoyed seeing this, I might make a sequel with C'est Comme Ca and w/ Marco in it instead and a red BG,, if I want to, I might turn these into a series, just like those aesthetic icon drawings I made of my 2 boys, started Lotta, and IMMEDIATELY lost that sketch due to my USB's death back in 2022 and lost all motivation for art due to that massive loss /neg

--

Not sure what else to add here other than my thoughts that I already did!! Other than ofc, the usual, MASSIVE thank you to my friend Hollowed-Hartlocke for introducing me to Paramore back in 2019 <3

Think I'm done rambling now tho!! OH WAIT. I can add, that I had to actually pull out Adobe Illustrator just to add stretched text for aesthetic purposes. Then I got so impatient with the effects panel not showing me the usual layer-effects and me being too lazy to look up, whether InDesign was the one, that had the usual layer effects I use in an Adobe program or not. Btw still mooching off my college acc that shoulda been dead long ago but just isn't??? LMAO I'M STILL GONNA USE IT IF I CAN ALRIGHT.

OH YEAH BTW. This drawing took 3 hours. NO I'M NOT KIDDING. PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY BE SHOCKED THAT SUCH A LAZY LOOKING PIECE TOOK SO LONG. BUT I GENUINELY AM RATHER SHOOK THAT I TOOK SUCH LITTLE TIME TO CREATE THIS. TBF I threw MOST proportion checks and canvas flips I do out the window, so there's a BIG chance I will hate this, if I flip the canvas xD ANYWAY I RAMBLED LONG ENOUGH I THINK NOW. JUST ENJOY EXPERIMENTAL ART

^Before-bed edit; Yeah his torso's a TAD too much leaning to the left, it's off-center to the rotation of his pelvis to be in fact, but maybe? I'll roll with this mistake. It kinda gives the piece its abstract nature..I kinda like the mistake?? This is the first time in my life I ever tolerated a mistake I did and now declare it on purpose and will probably build one into the next piece as well. Hell, maybe it'll yield an interesting result. Anyway, it's 12PM as I write this, and I have to get up at 4AM for my train soOooo, yeah, gotta sleep ASAP for school.

I have NO clue again what to 100% accurately tag this, so forgive me if the tags are wrong LMAO, I just will believe what I believe it has overlaps w/ within art-genre.

This piece kiiinda gives pop art??? So I'm gonna tag it as such as well, but but might be incorrect. If a pop-art enjoyer wants to correct me, PLEASE DO. I'm going off the definitions of pop-art I learned in high-school. So I could most def be wrong about me adding this tag in particular. How tf do people confidently tag their posts when I doubt almost every tag I add man. Tagging is the worst part of uploading art to me due to how hard it is to label art really, not meant to be in a genre. xD

Def adding Paramore tags tho bc I NEED to know more Paramore fans out there bc we feel like such a tiny community, when they're literally one of the most influential rock bands of the 2000s and 2010s imho AUGH

[sweetescapeartist]

A little insight into my mind...

What's crazy is that I used this blog to escape some issues I had (the issues I was tripping about a few months ago). And it was also so I could learn to interact better online as well as improve my art skills. The only mistake I made was trying to ignore my issues. Escape is fine but you have to confront them. So when I finally confronted my issues, it really made me lose motivation due to the pent up stress I was holding in for nearly 10 years (over 20 with other things). So that's why I would have to go on hiatus often. I was ignoring my issues until they became too much. But its all dealt with now. Sad how some things had to end tho.

And now, I've been training my mind to enjoy what I used to again. Like drawing. And also training my mind to enjoy things I didn't before so I can do the things I'd rather hire someone else to do for me. Its kinda neat how we can rewire our minds after stress. Different ways to do it & the best methods are when another helps you.

I want to draw today, but Idk if I will. So I think I should just start making myself draw like its a work schedule. Otherwise nothing will get done. Motivation is great but so are healthy habits. Healthy habits contribute to motivation. And I'm honestly tired of sitting on 4 or 5 unfinished comics... 😅 maybe even 6 or 7. I kinda lost track and forgot. But with less stress, I should be able to focus more and finish projects. That stress was really messing me up mentally and physically. I used to take medicine for my migraines, then I started feeling better when I got rid of some stress (be careful with getting off of medicine tho cause its different for everyone and you may need a doctor to help you so your health is okay). Then I wore shades all the time to stop my migraines, and I don't need those anymore either after I got rid of more stressful things in my life. I had a whole change in a year to where my health greatly improved once I let go of more and more stress. I sleep better too & my mood has become much more joyful.

That's it. Just felt like talkin

[theselfdoubtdiaries]

7th June 2023

Dear Fran,

I've completely lost track of our format and when I'm supposed to post. Anyway. I've been in the studio! And tested new things. Still haven't dragged myself to a fabric store but perhaps these experiments will motivate me to finally go. I started today trying to see if I could heat up borosilicate glass shards with the heatgun enough to move it and maybe try and fuse it to ceramics or solder. Definitely not! Neither the soldering rod/iron/wand (??) or the heat gun can get the glass hot enough to move. I was 95% sure it was wishful thinking but had to try regardless. That lead me to playing with solder because that metal melts so quickly once the end of the iron is hot. I got distracted trying to melt enough of it to draw with it and move it about. While it does chew up a lot of soldering material very quickly (and stink up the studio) it is fun to draw! It actually made me think of your favourite, Lindy Lee, and the splashy kind of pieces she makes. But so fun!! Melting shit is always a fun time haha.

I guess by procrastinating the fabric tests (because starting a new body of work is always scary) I was able to experiment and test and play with other things. Things I'd thought about on an off for ages and now finally tried. Of course it wasn't as easy or straightforward as I hoped, but I guess I have to remember that you'll never be as shit at a process as you were the first time you did it. And you learn so much from that first time, regardless of whether it takes 2 minutes or 20. So, spurred on by fun melty drawings and a lunch break, I got out the heat gun and decided to give it a crack with what fabric I had in the studio. Eeeeeeep. All I did was drape some semi synthetic fabric over a couple of rocks and debris I'd collected from Gordon's Bay, and start directing hot air at it via the heat gun! Why did this feel like the scariest thing in the world before I started?? I LOVE melting shit, and watching the fabric crinkle and move and bubble and fold on itself as it melted was sooooooo fun! SO FUN. Also hella stinky but oh well. Anyway it was a fun process, and i documented the various stages. Didn't like it without some sort of structure or object underneath peeking through. Didn't like the fabric much either, in its original state. Wrong textures. So I kept melting it more and more, and then decided to try adding some of the solder into it. Kinda worked but was hard to do without melting holes in the fabric. It got too hot too quick, compared to the metal. But then I folded it in half and fused the edges together so it because this weird lumpy form and then kept melting it until it kind looked like a craggy shelf. So I naturally pinned it to the wall and decided to see if it would support the weight of some of my porcelain pieces. It just did! Long story short, this is my most precarious shelving system to date.

I really like the quote from your previous post by the way. I love Louise Bourgeois already, but I agree that those little snippets really remind me of our original document. I've also been thinking about words and quotes and vocabulary a lot recently. I worry that mine is shrinking and I guess it just means I need to read more, especially poetry. They are the masters of diverse language and concise story telling. Also I love when my friends from overseas message me. The way they use english sometimes is so beautiful and often seems more poetic than regular english dialogue.

Oh dear, this got long again. I shall stop now.

Much love xxxx

Zoe

[starrwulfe]

Last Week Today! S2024E7

🤦‍♂️ OK, I skipped out on hella posts for this category. I know, I know… I’ll backfill them later, but I really hadn’t done much of anything noteworthy I guess so there wasn’t the motivation to post one of these… Which is not the point of course, so I’ll just shut up and get on with this installment. Just watch out for the backfills if you’re keeping up with this on the socials or RSS or email or whatever.

🩺 I had my yearly physical exam, and it went well except for the one note under intensive fasting glucose being 101mg/dL which to make a long story short, prompted my doctor to admonish me about getting enough exercise or else worry about diabetes being a thing. Other than that, I’m just as healthy as ever.

🏋️ It’s no secret that since returning Stateside from Japan, I haven’t really been getting enough exercise, walks, runs, all that jazz and have low-key been stressed and a bit depressed. I have zero motivation to go to a gym; I don’t like doing routines so much to begin with, but I really don’t like being in a room with total strangers trying to figure out how to make my body do stuff to burn fat. It literally makes me even more stressed out than just jogging/riding a bike by myself. SuperWife and I had been going to the gym together at first, but her job changed, and our schedules fell out of alignment for that; I lost my motivation about a year later and here we are. I tried going to the little gym in my area, but my job no longer subsidizes gym membership, and probably more influential, the guy that runs it keeps asking me to join a “boot camp” class. I don’t want to join shit, I don’t want to be around people, leave me the fsck alone, I’m already anxious as hell just being there. So I stopped going.

🚲️ Excuses aside, I’m just gonna go and buy myself a bike and do what I used to do overseas that kept me fit in the first place. I used to cycle all over the place. I can’t walk or take trains like I did there but I’m going to try to at least bike around here and get out more. Did you know I once went almost a whole week without leaving my house a few months ago? (Working from home has its downsides too!) I miss Japan for my social life and urban living more than anything; it kept me on the “life gym” plan where my mind and body constantly got a workout every day without effort. Just living my daily JapanLife kept me fit. Now I actually have to actively work on it. I appreciate any tips on keeping motivated and healthy from y’all out there reading this please.

🚸 Moving on, the kids are doing well. I just realized we’ll have 0 mini-mes that will be in elementary school after this school year. Little Monkey will be a middle schooler. When dafuq did my cute little simian who learned to climb up my back like a ladder and sit on my shoulders get to be on the precipice of teenagedom?

🚗 At the other end of the scale, The Big One just passed her written Drivers Exam and is now permitted. I really wasn’t ready for this one. It’s not like she’s chomping at the bit to drive (kinda opposite actually – she frequently takes our fledgling bus system around here) but it’s always good to have another driver in the family in case something happens. I wish I had the cheddar to get a hoopty for her and Boy-Type (he’ll be at a permittable age this time next year 😨) to drive… But even if I did, we can’t afford the insurance on a 16 year old right now I’m sure.

🎨 Speaking of Boy-Type, his drawing skills are getting very good. Fingers crossed for him to be the next Akira Toriyama or Hayao Miyazaki. I’ll settle for him just being that guy that paints to cool murals in trendy shopping plazas and shops like his uncle does back in Tokyo. Getting paid to do what you like to do is the shit. One of the classes at the arts high school he’ll need to pay attention in is Creative Business Management. I hope he soaks it all up when the time comes.

🦸‍♀️ SuperWife is out here doing her thing and will attend a intensive technical training bootcamp style class this summer since she’ll have more time for that while the school district is on summer break. I think she’d make a great tech support technician or level 1 project lead; her time management is better than mine and that’s always been half the job for me. I can’t wait to have crazy “vim vs emacs” type discussions with her. LOL

🏁 Lastly, I’m looking forward to spring, warmer temps, and getting back out in the RV. We’re set to head down to Jacksonville, Florida for a few days during the first week of April and I can’t wait. I love being on the road with the tribe and I feel we’re at our best together out in the world exploring like this. We’ve hit daylight savings already and 25ºC/80ºF was hit for the first time last week too. Just gotta hang on a bit longer to shake these winter doldrums!