#i kinda hate the line art on this but i spent like 4 hours painting it then lost the version with the line art bc i was fucking with it so i

[came-out-of-the-coffin-desisted]

happy dream girl evil wednesday… i got a new tablet charger ✌️🖤❤️🦇

this is probably gonna be the cover of some sort for my dragon age fic that’s about her— her name is odelina and in MY canon she’s not actually a warden, she’s [redacted]

[egcdeath]

birthdays with the boys

in honor of my own birthday, today i’ll be sharing with you what i think your birthday with many cevans characters would be like. enjoy! <3

steve rogers

he leaves his mission early and unannounced so when you wake up to the smell of pancakes in your house, and a man with breakfast in bed you almost jump out of your skin buuut you couldn’t be happier to see him

breakfast in bed is just the start of your bday because he goes ALL. OUT. 

as you finish up eating, he grabs a folded piece of paper with a wax seal on it and hands it to you

he tells you to open it once he leaves, gives you a wink, then goes

he planed a birthday scavenger hunt for you!!!

for the rest of the day, you travel around the city to a bunch of important places in your relationship, like your fav dates n stuff

at the midway point of the hunt, he meets you for a coffee and makes sure you’re still enjoying everything before he sends you off with the avenger’s company card and basically tells you to get something nice before finishing the hunt hehe

you do in fact get yourself something nice

at the end of the hunt, you end up at the compound where all of your friends and teammates are and you have a very nice birthday party

by the time that you and steve go home, you’re exhausted but wanna spend a lil more time savoring your birthday so steve suggests that the two of you watch that one cheesy rom com that you love (and he hates)

as you cuddle on the couch, popping the occasionaly popcorn kernel in your mouth, you cant help but to feel grateful that you have such an amazing boyfriend

ransom drysdale

his birthdays were always disregarded when he grew up, so he has a very extravagant celebration planned for you

we all know that he can make a pretty airtight and elaborate plan so you literally have zero idea of what he’s got up his sleeve

enter: a whole birthday week

(he sweet talked your boss into some time off  so thats one whole thing you don’t have to worry about)

day one is a whole spa and a shopping day

he can’t stand some of your friends but he invites them anyway bc he knows it’ll make you happy

he’s glaring at your friends while they giggle about some new louis vuitton purse and you’re thoroughly amused by it

you give him extra kisses that night as a reward for not instigating any fights that day (awww bf of the year am i right ladies?)

day two you guys do a museum hop and look at lots of art

ransom rolls his eyes at canvases that have a few drops of paint on them and are called modern art, you think this is hilarious

day three you have a picnic together in a park

ransom knows you have an affinity for charcuterie boards and attempts to make you one himself (and it’s not all that bad), along with a bunch of dainty little sandwiches

later that day, you go to a planetarium together

on your drive back home you have an interesting convo on the meaning of life

day 4 you take a pottery class together

ransom makes the most deformed bowl you’ve ever seen in your life

so naturally you put it up for display in your bedroom (so whenever you see it you can think of him)

day five is a first class flight to some luxurious villa in europe. most of day five is taken up on a plane

ransom lets you lay your head on him while you sleep, even though the position you’re in is making it astonishingly uncomfortable for him

day six you guys explore the city all day together

ransom makes sure not to complain about his aching legs (even though yours are getting sore too, and if he said something you would’ve done something about it!)

on your real birthday (day seven), ransom takes you out to a very nice dinner, and gives you a hand written letter detailing how much he loves and cares about you (because sometimes it’s hard for him to say his feelings)

you’re extremely flattered but have no idea how you’ll top this for his own birthday

andy barber

you and andy aren’t really huge on big gestures, so he does little things throughout the day

while you’re at work, he makes a surprise stop by and brings you your favorite drink & lunch from your favorite food place

he sends a bouquet of flowers to your job as well

after work, he cooks for you then showers you in gifts

your favorite thing that he gets you is a little engraved necklace with yours and his initials on it

at the end of the day, he gives you a nice full body massage and somehow that was exactly what you needed.

maybe not the most extravagant birthday, but a good one nonetheless.

frank adler

you have a pretty chill birthday with him and mary

he brings you a cake that him and mary made/decorated together

it’s kind of hideous but you love it

you guys let mary skip class for just 1 (one) day but tell her to keep it a secret

you call the school and let her fake being sick in the background. it is a hoot

you all go to the zoo together 

you take tons of pictures

your personal favorite is one where mary and frank are posing with a giraffe

after the zoo, you go bowling

when you win, the sore losers that came with you claim they were letting you win since it was your birthday

you end your day at the beach, watching mary and her cat play in the sand in your peripheral vision while you and frank admire the sunset

ah, sweet, sweet domesticity

ari levinson

you go to an escape room to celebrate your birthday

it’s just you and ari, but you’re smart so you don’t expect it to be too difficult

🚨wrong🚨

you’re both so hard headed and stubborn that doing any of the tasks is like pulling teeth

eventually the building had to close, and you’ve only finished like... a few tasks in the hours you’ve been there

this was certainly not a bad birthday though, arguing with ari is one of your favorite pastimes

and this birthday certainly did not disappoint

jake jensen

you and the rest of your team decided to go to a little retro arcade for the first half of the night

you spent way more time than necessary watching jake attempt to beat the high score of some random game

after giving up on beating the highest score on a pac-man machine, jake decided to attempt to win you a prize on the claw machine

like, $20 and a few annoyed humans in line behind him later, it was still nothing

when jake finally gave up, the next person in line won the soft and plushy elephant you had your eye on

and while your back was turned, he may or may not have paid off its rightful owner in order to get it with you

it was too sweet of a gesture for you to even try to be annoyed with jake

a bit later, you decided to partake in a game of laser tag which was going on in the same building

this was fine and dandy buuuut

everyone on your team treated every mission (real or fictional) like the end of the world

this made for a few very interesting matches

jake nearly trampled a child more than one time

good thing everyone was required to sign a waiver before playing

a custody battle over which team got to have cougar seemed to be a consistent theme during the night

when you were on different teams, you couldn’t help but notice that jake was getting a little too much pleasure out of shooting you

it was fine because you were equally enthusiastic about shooting him

you were eventually booted from the game when an employee claimed you were all being too rough

at some point you lost the elephant

but luckily for you, you found it before you went home

you were going to keep that elephant forever

johnny storm

you were genuinely convinced that johnny forgot your birthday

he did not bring it up ONCE the whole day

you’re actually kind of hurt for a while and get all in your head

johnny gets the silent treatment 🙄 (but he deserves it)

you decide to stop moping and go out, since it issss your birthday

you do your makeup and put on a skimpy little dress

as you leave your room and start enter the communal portion of the baxter building, johnny stops you and checks you out

he’s like “where are you going????”

and you’re like “out 😐”

and he’s like “are you sure? 🤨”

and you’re like yes duh

then he gestures to the side really quickly and you’re kinda confused then a whole bunch of people pop out and start cheering for your birthday

you’re kinda embarrassed that you spent so much of the day moping but you quickly get over it because you love a good party

by the time that most of your guests are gone, you force johnny to take you out to the club

and of course you warn him not to ever pull a stunt like that again

lucas lee

he forgot it was your birthday

[pink-hao]

college! taehyung

masterlist

second year in uni along w kook !

proud member of Beta Theta Sigma

okay, hear me out

art major

this man loves and respects every. single. style !

he has his favorites though

he loves expressionism and conceptual art

always trying to find a deeper message 

one time he went on and on about how the son of man painting is about Magritte's hunger to be seen and understood and all this and that

Hoseok was just like ...

"its a dude with an apple on his face man"

"its art"

he has impeccable style

but it depends on the day

one day he could just be wearing sweats

the next he could be DECKED OUT in leather

but lately he's been sporting a more french look

this guy b r e a k s hearts 

he doesn't mean to though !

he's just so unbelievably beautiful ugh

so many people on campus just fall in love with him because it's so easy to

he's easy to talk to and very soft-spoken but powerful

you had heard of him last year

your friend, Jennie, had a sister, Rose, who was so into him

she thought that he was sending her signals because he asked to work with her on a project in their class 

and he got her chocolate on valentine's day !

but you could've sworn you heard mark lee talking about getting chocolate from him too

so she asked him out for boba

and he was like "oh sure"

but he brought a friend

and she was like ?? "I thought it would just be the two of us you know, since its a date and all"

and he was like ... "Rose, I thought we were friends ?"

she was sooo crushed

anyways, you were like yea let me not with this guy

you don’t need any more distractions

but one day you were getting boba with Jennie

and you went to pay for your tea

and you realized that you didn’t have money

Jennie would’ve payed but she wasn’t there atm because she went to go get a table

so you were there 

broke

with a bunch of people in line behind you

and then Tae just comes up to the cashier and says “its okay, shes with me”

you were like 

huh

“thank you so much you didn’t have to do that !”

he tells you not to worry about it

but you’re like !!! let me pay you back handsome

and he’s like “seriously its fine” and smiles super cutely

so you say bye

but you didn’t realize you’d see him not half an hour later at an art museum !

he’s like “oh ! hey again”

you’re like “fate ?”

so he tells you his name is Taehyung

you didn’t realize who he was yet so you tell him your name and you guys start talking about the piece you’re in front of

but then Jennie comes back from the bathroom and is like “UM”

Tae is like “oh hey Jennie” and smiles

but then he says he should go but he hopes he sees you again

Jennie is like “hello ?! thats the Taehyung ! the one that broke my sister’s heart !” 

and you’re like 

darn i can totally see why everyone is in love with that guy

so you swear you’ll try to stay away

but you’re intersting to him for some reason

and so when he sees you sitting under a tree on campus, studying up on your upcoming exam, he really can’t help but gravitate towards you

he asks if he can sit and study with you

and you’re like 

what’s the harm ? it’s just studying

but yall started to talk again

you talked about so much that day 

from art to history to current events and music and movies and everything

he gives you his number when you tell him you gotta go make DINNER 

yess you spent the whole day with this so-called heartbreaker

he texts you first

hey its me Tae ;)

i know we spent a while together today but i was wondering if you would want to go to an exhibit with me tomorrow at 4 ?

wait

did the Taehyung just ask you out ? like on a date ?

you know you probably shouldn’t have said yes 

but you did

so you spent the NEXT day with Tae 

and somehow this turned into a weekly thing

going somewhere artsy or unique

sometimes it would be going out for something little like boba

but s o m e t i m e s he would ask you to the jazz concert or to a movie

but there was never a label put on it ? that’s fine ! but you were starting to wonder a little

Jennie eventually found out where you kept running off to

she was a little upset at first but realized its fine because Rose is with someone right now and hating is for haters (!)

you were totally falling though and it annoyed you because you didn’t want to mess up what you had with Tae 

but you were sure that he was looking at you differently too

even his friends noticed he was acting a little weird lately

he seemed almost worried about something 

Jimin asked him what was up and he kinda just blurted it out

thats when he realized that he kinda fell for you 

you are always on his mind

he sees a cool piece ? he wants to tell you about it. he gets a good grade ? he wants you to tell him how proud you are of him. hears about a new movie coming out ? he wants to watch it with you.

hes never had this problem before so hes kinda scared, but Jimin is like

just ask her out !!

so he meets up with you at your little boba place

and is like

“hey listen

would you want to go with me to this exhibition tomorrow”

and you’re like “yea Tae of course !”

and he’s like “no

as mine”

and you’re like

:o

you said yes !! and he smiles so big and cute and yall hug and his heart jumps up and down and awwww

you’re super lucky but he’s luckier ugh yall are so cute together ! <3

[purplesurveys]

1032

survey by danceamydance

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Never have. I wasn’t present when my mom gave birth to my younger siblings and other than that there’s been no reason for me to be around for the birth of my other younger relatives.

What pattern does the closest tissue box have? I don’t have one in my room, but the one in our bathroom is brown. I think. I never actually checked even though I use it everyday lol.

Where did you lose your virginity, if you have? I truthfully didn’t really keep note of what counts as the first time because we had already been fooling around quite a bit. I’d guess either a hotel room or my room, or maybe hers. The one thing I can remember was that I was 18, so there’s that.

What color car(s) do your parents drive? We have two white cars and one teal. I still don’t know why my dad got a teal car when none of us in the family are into colored cars, but according to him getting the Vitara in white would’ve looked like an FX (a form of public transport here), so I’ve learned to make my peace with the teal car lol.

What are your views on getting rid of the penny? I can’t relate, because we don’t use pennies.

Which Asian country would you most like to visit? Aside from the ones I’ve already gone to, I’d love to take a trip to Thailand, Vietnam, Sri Lanka, and India.

Have you ever had a nosebleed? Nope. I fear the day I get one; I’m scared of blood haha.

How far away do you live from your birthplace? Maybe around 30 minutes without any traffic. A realistic drive to Manila would take me anywhere between 1 to 1.5 hours.

Do you have bangs? Yep, and they’re starting to get pretty long as well so thanks for reminding me that I’ll have to trim them soon. I want to get rid of them already as I’ve had my fun with them, but NO ONE HAS SEEN ME WITH BANGS loooool so they are still staying. 

Are you a good driver? I wanna say I’ve been better through the years? Hahaha the consensus is that I drive a little crazy, but my friends still always pick me to drive them whenever we go somewhere because everyone apparently still finds me the safest driver to ride with despite my temper on the road. Having a tiny car, being bullied by bigger pickup trucks and SUV through the years has helped toughen me up.

Have you ever kissed someone underneath the mistletoe? No. My ex and I always celebrated Christmas separately, with our own families, so we never got the chance to do this.

Do you watch the Olympics on the television? No. It’s not really something that interests me.

What was the scariest experience of your life? The time I nearly crashed into a car that I didn’t realize was stopped in the middle of the road while I was going 80 kph, and having like 3 seconds to hit the brakes.

Do you have a Tumblr account? I mean...

Are your nails painted right now? What color? Nope.

Have you ever played truth or dare? Several times, though I always pick truth because I’ve never had a problem saying it. I also hate picking dares because my friends would usually make us do dumb things, like dance, or worse, make out with someone in the circle.

How long is your driveway? Not very.

Are there any tv shows you keep up with religiously? Mmm it used to be The Crown, but I probably won’t be watching it for a while despite the new season because 1) I used to watch it when my past relationship had still been smooth-sailing, so watching it would just remind me of that; and 2) Gabie loves the shit out of Gillian Anderson and she was brought in for season 4 lol. 

Right now my focus is on a new Korean drama called Start-Up, which is currently ongoing and is so fucking good. Nam Joo Hyuk is also there, so it’s a sweet bonus for me <3

What is your favorite iPhone app? I’m using YouTube the most these days, so it may as well be my favorite.

Where is your mother right now? She’s at work.

Do you know anybody named Carl? I don’t think so. The only person that came to mind is an uncle named Carlo who I haven’t seen in more than a decade. My dad’s college group used to be super tight-knit and I used to be friends with his friends’ kids, so it’s sad to see them kinda grow apart and notice the others be more reclusive over the years.

Are you more of a night owl or a morning person? Morning person. Ugh, work is changing me as a person haha.

What is your favorite song at the moment? Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House has taken the top spot again. It’s just too goddamn good of a song.

Do you have a weak stomach? Very. I’m awful with car rides, bungee jumping, fair rides, you name it.

Have you ever been to a party where people were drinking underage? Hmm, yes. Kaira’s 18th birthday – it was held in May but most of the people at her party weren’t going to turn 18 until the end of the year, so it was a lot of 16 and 17 year olds drinking. I had just turned 18 then, so I allowed myself to take my first sip of a margarita.

How many stores are in the mall closest to you? Malls here are generally packed compared to what people may have in the US or other countries, so even though our local mall isn’t anything notable, it still holds 200+ stores.

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes, but they’re all outside of family. My mom’s side is very weird about cancer and never share information about family members who may have it and only ever refer to it as ‘the c word,’ so I may have more relatives who have cancer than what is made known to us.

How far away is the closest McDonald’s to you? We have one literally right beside the main entrance of our village but because our house is at the very end of the village, what should be just a couple of steps away is instead a 10-minute drive for me.

Would you ever meet someone in person that you met online? Yeah I’ve done that with a few people in the wrestling circle. Jila I met unexpectedly while we were both in line for the WWE house show in Manila in 2016; Javi I met when I lent him my Chris Jericho memoir; and Rafie was the one who gave me a free ticket to said WWE show. Rafie’s a local celebrity now and he has such a huge following, so as weird as it is I’m also glad I have that little memory with him before he blew up.

What was the last film you watched? That Thing Called Tadhana, but I was unable to finish it. I’m into TV shows these days and I’ve been all over Start-Up.

Does it snow where you live? Never has.

Have you ever been to an art gallery? Of course, I’m a sucker for those. I always go to one whenever I can; there are a lot of malls here that’ll randomly have pop-up art exhibits, so art galleries here actually aren’t limited to just museums.

What are your neighbours like? A lot of them have kids, that much I know because a lot of them play outside in the afternoon and make some noise. We all keep to each other, though, so I don’t know any more about them; the only time we get together is when the neighborhood organizes its own Christmas party for the community.

Do you visit your town’s library often? I would if we have one, but public libraries are not a thing here. If you needed to go to a library to find a book, you would have to go to a university.

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? This just gave me college flashbacks haha. Of course I have, and the most notable people for me are JM, Andrew, and Angela.

What flavor was the last ice cream you ate? It’s a red bean ice cream sandwich that also has a bit of vanilla ice cream in it.

Can you do a cartwheel? No but I definitely tried a thousand times as a kid.

Who is the last person you spoke to on the phone? Can I do video calls instead? I haven’t done phone calls in a while. The last people I was on a call with were Ysa and Bea.

^ What did you talk about? Secret work stuff.

Which website do you spend the most time on? YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter.

Have you ever kissed someone of a different race? I haven’t.

What can you smell right now? My coffee chocolate chip cookie.

Do you read fanfiction? If so, what fandoms? I haven’t checked on my favorite authors since college, mostly because they went MIA at some point and moved on to different fandoms as well. But when I did, I mostly read ones for AJ/Punk and HHH/Steph.

What accent is your favorite? Man this question is asked a lot...

How did/will you celebrate your birthday this year? Gab gave me a cute digital present, I think I may have spent the whole day playing the Switch, and Hans and Angela sent over a box of sushi for me.

Are you more introverted or extroverted? I’m both depending on the people I’m with. If I’m with a crowd I don’t know all that much, I turn my volume down.

Do you tend to repeat yourself all the time? Yeah. I got it from my mom, who unconsciously repeats stories all the time.

How was the last chicken you ate cooked? Fried.

Is there anybody you always find yourself thinking about? Yes, but it has gotten easier to manage/ignore altogether these days.

What was your last argument about? Haven’t argued with anyone in a hot minute. It was probably my mom as always, but I no longer remember what it could have been about.

Are/were you part of any extracurricular activities in school? I had clubs in high school since it was mandatory. In college, I was in yearbook and a journalism org.

Do you want to get married someday? I don’t know about that anymore.

What colors are on your country’s national flag? Blue, red, yellow, and white.

Would you go back to your ex if he/she asked you? I’m pretty stupid when it comes to this, so yes.

[gotatext]

                   hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !!  slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am   OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664.   a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done 

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides.  occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2  - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders 

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her.  like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

[she-is-tim]

Neighbours AU Part 8  Apart

Lucas is a young, exhausted musician who just tries to relax, while Eliott is the overexcited, dubstep loving artist who lives next door.

Aka Lucas confronts his annoying neighbour who turns out to be gorgeous

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Saturday 16:49

Lucas was sitting on the couch, his eyes were still red because of all the crying. He just couldn’t stop thinking of Eliott, though, wearing the hoodie he left there wasn’t really helping about that either. It still smelled like him and Lucas just needed that comfort. The piece of clothing was way too big for him, but that was the reason why it was just nice to wear it. It was like a warm hug that had the smell of Eliott’s cologne. 

His mind was filled with memories of his boyfriend... well, probably ex-boyfriend by now. It was painful to even think that little “ex” to it. He didn’t wanted to let him go, he wanted to believe that their relationship was real. It couldn’t just be Eliott’s obsession. 

He looked at the coffee table, it was a big mess, just like Eliott. His laptop was in the middle, surrounded by sketchbooks, brushes, paint tubes, pencils, special pens and everything art related. Then there was the coffee mug he got for Eliott, it was light grey with a cute raccoon on it that was hugging a heart. His boyfriend was out of this world when he came home from work with the gift. Right after that he made a drawing for Lucas, just to thank him the gift. It was a two piece actually. On the first drawing there was a sad hedgehog, sitting on a couch, but the other one was a raccoon and a hedgehog sitting on the couch together, surrounded by cute little hearts. Lucas framed the second drawing and put it on the top of the piano. It was still there, burning holes into Lucas, but he couldn’t make himself to look at it. 

He instead got up, walking to the kitchen like a zombie, making himself a coffee and slowly drinking it, while avoiding to look at the living room. So many memories were in the air. They spent so much time here together, it was painful not having Eliott by his side. Hearing his laugh, seeing his charming smile, feeling his soft touches, kissing his lips. 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks before Lucas even noticed it, dropping from his chin into the mug in his hand. His body was shaking, he barely could see and grabbed the kitchen counter with his free hand, trying not to spill the coffee that was in his other. He was whispering Eliott’s name over and over and over. He wanted it to just fade away, but it didn’t. His heart kept hurting more and more. 

Sunday 15:23

Eliott was laying in bed, under the blanket from head to toe. His eyes were hurting from all the crying, his lungs were still burning, making his harder to breathe. There were paperbags next to the bed on the nightstand, also a glass of water, some pills he refused to take and a sandwich from this morning. He couldn’t eat, since he felt like his stomach is smaller than a walnut. 

Flashes of Lucas tried to crawl their way up in his brain, he struggled to hold them back, but they kept coming. It was just painful. He hurt the only person he loved more than anything. Yes, he loved Lucas for sure. That week they spent together was just everything to him. 

They were sitting in Lucas’ living room, cuddling on the couch, well Lucas was leaning on Eliott tiredly, he just came home from work an hour ago. All he wanted is to sleep and be next to his boyfriend, but Eliott had to finish a project that was due to tomorrow noon. He was holding a digital drawing tablet, he barely used it, since he liked to draw on paper, but this thing had to made digitally. He focused on the lines, the small details, but being this close to Lucas, smelling him, feeling the warmth of his body was kinda distracting. 

He kept looking over to see his face. His eyes were closed, he was breathing slowly, probably was sleeping already. one of his hands were grabbing Eliott’s hoodie, while the other rested on Lucas’ stomach. He looked adorable, as he opened his mouth just a little. Eliott wanted to kiss him so badly, but he needed to work. 

He took a deep breath, giving a kiss on Lucas’ forehead and then going back to his project. He was working for hours, not noticing how the time was passing. He jerked his head to his side when he felt Lucas moving, letting out a yawn, stretching his body. It required a lot of strength from Eliott to not jump on this beautiful boy and kiss him until one of them passes out. A smile appeared on his face, his eyes were basically shooting hearts at his boyfriend.

Lucas slowly opened his eyes, looking at Eliott under his long, beautiful eyelashes. He smiled softly and wrapped his arms lazily around his boyfriend’s neck, which made Eliott’s heart skip a beat. He put down his tablet on the coffee table, grabbing Lucas’ waist. 

“You slept well?” he asked softly, leaning forward a little. Lucas did the same until their foreheads touched, looking into each others eyes. 

“I hope I didn’t cause any trouble.” he mumbled with a lazy smile. 

“Not at all... well, it was hard to focus on work with you next to me, but I managed to finish the project.” he said softly, putting a hand on Lucas’ face, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “I will do the colouring tomorrow morning.” 

“Wise decision, cause right now your hands will be occupied.” Lucas said with a playful smirk, winking at his handsome boyfriend. Eliott chuckled, pushing Lucas down on the couch, leaning above him.

“Oh really?” he asked, leaning so close their nose touched. He could feel Lucas’ breath on his face, his big, blue eyes were filled with desire and passion. He was so lost in this boy.

“Yes, of course.” Lucas mumbled, sliding his fingers into Eliott’s messy hair. “Your hands are going to be busy touching me.” he said, pulling Eliott’s head down for a slow, passionate kiss. 

Eliott shook his head, he wanted to scream, but his throat was so dry, it was basically the desert itself. He should be drinking some water, but he just couldn’t move from under the blanket, it was his safe place where he could still remember Lucas and imagine that they are still together. 

Monday 17:46

Lucas came home from work, he barely had the strength to leave the house, but he had to. Money isn’t coming from itself. Although he called in sick for the orchestra practices for this week. He haven’t touched his piano since friday, and he didn’t even wanted to. Everytime he just looked at the instrument, he remembered how Eliott looked at him when he played, how he was sitting next to him on the bench, or drawing on the couch, giggling. 

He dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and went straight to his room, falling on the bed like a bag of potatoes. He felt so empty inside, like someone ripped out his soul. He was thinking about Eliott all the time, he wanted to reach out, text him, but he wasn’t even sure if he would check his phone or answer him. And he also didn’t know what to say. He didn’t care about Eliott’s illness, that doesn’t make him less of a person. But he also remembered how he couldn’t do shit for his mom, even when he tried to and it made him feel bad. He wanted to do something for Eliott, he wanted to give everything into this, because for him Eliott meant everything. 

He stared at his phone for an hour, fingers dancing over the screen, but couldn’t type anything. He opened the chat between him and Eliott. They weren’t talking much in texts, since they were mostly together, but when Lucas was working or at the practice, they kept texting each other. 

To Eliott I’m almost done, can’t wait to get home to you

From Eliott Want me to prepare dinner? ;P 

To Eliott GOD no! I am planning to stay alive for more than just 19 years, thank you very much

From Eliott You are seriously hurting my feelings right now, Lucas

To Eliott I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to be honest with you

Lucas stopped reading at this part and just threw his phone to the other side of the bed. Honest. Lucas still didn’t understand why Eliott couldn’t talk to him about his illness. He would have understand it. He gave no reason for his boyfriend to doubt in his feelings, right? He was always open and showing his love towards him. 

He turned around, facing the ceiling now, trying to push back the memories he shared with Eliott. Both of them seemed happy during that week, He just couldn’t understand how everything went shit so quickly. 

He sat up, pulling his laptop on his lap, opening google. He searched for information about mental illnesses. He was aware that Eliott had a panic attack at the pub, but he didn’t know what kind of illness he had exactly. The websites mostly said anxiety, because he paniced in a crowded place. He tried to read up on things, putting pieces together, trying to understand the situation more. He wanted to learn how to approarch people like that before actually reaching out to Eliott, because he WILL reach out. 

Wednesday 13:12

Eliott was sitting on the couch, he was at Lucille’s place still, her apartment was much more clean and organized than his. He actually didn’t like it, but he also couldn’t go home. If he goes home he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going to the flat next door. He can’t meet Lucas, not after what he did to him. He deserved better than a sick boyfriend. 

He slowly drank his coffee, chewing on the sandwiches Lucille made this morning for him. Sometimes he wasn’t hungry at all, sometimes he had the sudden urge to eat. He got pale, dark circles around his eyes, his veins popping out on his arm. He was slowly feeling better day by day, but it was a long time ago since he had such a bad period. Lucille convinced him that he had to take his meds in order to get well. She wasn’t lying, Eliott knew that, but he just hated the fact that he had to live on pills forever, because his illness won’t be going away. 

When he finished eating and drinking his coffee, he walked to the kitchen, putting the mug and the plate in the sink. He then noticed his phone on the counter. He haven’t seen it since he lost it on friday. Lucille probably found it when she came to take Eliott home. The screen protector had a crack right in the middle, but otherwise it looked fine. He grabbed it, but it was out of battery. Lucille probably didn’t take the effort to charge it since friday.

He walked to the bedroom, luckily Lucille had the same phone type as him, so he grabbed her charger and sat in the armchair that was close to the plug on the wall. putting his phone on charge now. It took some time until he could turn it on.

He unlocked it, looking through his messages and his heart skipped a beat when he saw that he got texts from Lucas. He quickly opened them and felt guilt, because they were from yesterday. Lucas probably thinks that Eliott didn’t even care to check the messages he sent. 

From Lucas I wasn’t sure what to say, I’m not even sure what happened on friday. I had a lot of time to think, and you can be sure that you were the only thing in my mind. I was going crazy... The way I feel with you is something I never felt before. You made me happy with such little things. I just can’t put my feelings into words, because it’s impossible. There are no words for how I feel for you. I am not gonna lie, you scared me on friday, but I am not scared of your illness, I was scared that you are not okay, that you were hurt. Then Lucille came and shit went down. I left, because I felt like I couldn’t help you, I’m not sure that you would be in the right hands with me, but I really wanna take the risk Just text me if you made a decision.

Eliott couldn’t hold back his tears now, they were dripping down from his jaw to the cracked screen. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t see properly, so he had to wait with the answer. He wanted to see Lucas, hug him, kiss him, tell him that he wanna do this too. 

To Lucas Be there in 20 minutes

He got up, putting his phone on the armchair, letting it to charge a bit more and started to get himself ready. He couldn’t meet Lucas looking like a 100 year old vampire. 

________________________________________________________________

Writers note: I bet ya didn’t see this coming, huh? I just got an inspiration and some free time, so I wrote this chapter. Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment, either here or in my inbox! Love y’all!

[environmentworld-blog]

Making an environment in One Week - Part 1

I decided to make a whole environment piece in one week. So yeah!

WHAT THIS IS: Practice and an experiment. This was just a personal test to see what I could achieve and share my experience. WHAT THIS IS NOT: Healthy and practical. Healthy for reasons you will read bellow (at least for me), and practical because rushing things doesn't make you better. Even though there was some discovery here for myself, I didn't learn any new techniques, didn't learn from critiques, etc. I dont recommend to do this as a constant art practice. Its not smart if you are planning to grow in your craft.

That said!

Its been both a challenge, and a great time. It was definitely a big learning experience for me, and I am not very happy with the results but I decided to share it because I got something out of it, and hopefully some of you will as well.

The main challenge was to conceptualize and go from blockout to final in 1 week. Basically, going from here...

...to here...

...in one week.

The result is running realtime in UE4. I used Blender, ZBrush, Topogun2, the Substance suite and Photoshop.

DAY 1. Starting out...

This was, heads out, the hardest part. The whole piece took me around 45 hours. 4 hours after work from Monday to Friday and at least 12 hours on each day of that weekend. Needless to say, at the end of that week I was completely exhausted. MVP of the week was my girlfriend who decided to take care of my chores the whole week while I worked!

Looking at the empty canvas is always scary.

And of course this time it was no exception. It added an extra layer of pressure knowing that every minute I spent looking at it and clicking around, would take valuable minutes away from my busy week.  

I had to figure out SO MANY THINGS.

When tackling down an environment, there are many things I usually keep in mind. You have composition, theme, storyline, execution method, end platform, etc. And in this crazy jungle of thoughts that usually strikes me when starting to build a piece, I can get lost really quickly and begin walking in circles.

First I had to CHOOSE A PLATFORM. Unreal, of course. Moving on!

Then I had to FIGURE OUT THE MAIN THEME, on which I'm going to build my scene. So I almost instantly thought: pirates. I LOVE pirates. I mean, who doesn't? And with Uncharted 4 still to this day in my veins and one of the latest Magic The Gatheringset ever-present in my head (go Ixalan bois!), I had all the inspiration I needed. I had found my theme. And I set it in stone, for I would never allow myself to lose time changing it. That was not an option...

And of course, I ended up changing it.

Now, I need to THINK OF THE STORY. It was going to be amazing! I wanted to have a small boat in the sand with a treasure on it. And in the back, a huge ship shooting at it. As if the pirate stole the treasure and was getting away! He got to shore, but the ship was too damn close, so he had to take away whatever we could in his hands leaving most of it behind.

Cool, I liked it. It was no Dark Souls environment art storytelling, but it kinda worked!

So then I jumped to the next and one of the most crucial of steps: GATHERING REFERENCE AND BUILDING A MOODBOARD.

I think I got rid of most of my pirate-related reference, but here you kinda see what I was aiming for terrain wise. I had to cut a lot of it, but the feeling was there. This step is almost crucial, and it is really important not to underestimate reference. Spend 1-2 days looking for it. Always keep it open while working, and never stop looking for new pictures!

All this took me a good couple of hours. Perhaps 3 (tight time frame after all). So I HAD to move on to the engine now. No time to waste.

Next, I started with my main BLOCKOUT. This is definitely the most important part of it all. Here is where you should spend the most time when making environment art. The blockout is going to dictate the overcome of your whole piece. Don't think in details, details sucks, details are for murlocks. Nail your main shapes and composition FIRST. You will definitely tweak things around, but having your composition, shapes, balance, and flow of the piece in place in the beginning, is not only going to allow you to work more effectively, but it will also keep you inspired and moving forward.

So I did. This is the first blockout of this piece ever.

I started out with the simplest of compositions. I can go quite crazy trying things out at this stage but, not to my surprise, I hadn't much time to spare. So a simple rule of thirds, which I personally dislike (here is why), will do for now. I knew that I was going to keep a simple 3 point composition, and 2 counterbalancing points will do the trick for now.

Also, at this points rocks, water and sand texture were taken from the UE4 library.

I moved on then to BLOCKING OUT LIGHTING. As everything in this stage, it was very simple. Just used a basic skysphere (default to UE4) and tweaked the values a bit. I knew for a fact I wanted to keep working on both the mood and the clouds. But no time for that right now.

The goals of my first day were to have the whole blockout done. At this point it was almost 10 pm and I wasnt ready. And I wasnt going to bed until I had at least a very basic sand texture there.

So I made it.

And since its really awful, I figured I might aswell explain what was I shooting for composition wise. The framing was going to be natural vs man-made. Rock vs water. So the big rocks on the fore and the middle ground where doing that for me. At the same time, I was throwing all the flow lines I could to make the ship pop up.

And that was it. 11 pm. Time to eat something, go to bed, and go to work the next day. I could have stayed up all night. But I knew better.

DAY 2. Sand and rocks

Day 2 started out nicely. I almost ran home to get my hands on this! I was confident that I was going to pull it off. All was great!

I jumped right away to Substance Designer. I knew (and had been thinking all day) that I wanted to have the sand in as soon as possible. So I jumped directly to my next step BLOCKING OUT TEXTURES. Not everyone works this way, but I found out that having a solid blockout of your textures helps you to see the bigger picture. In an interesting scene, not only color but also roughness take a big part in making it look unique and appealing to the eye. And having your materials blocked out will get you early to a point where you can start tweaking lighting, composition and even propping to get the most out of your scene.

This screenshot is 2 hours in on the second day. I kept moving rocks trying to improve the composition, and all this new perspective came from my new sand material being applied to the terrain. I built a simple blend shader and vertex painted some roughness variation in where the land met the sea.

Also grabbed this super high poly ship from somewhere on the internet and used it very quickly to try to pull my vision a bit forward. All assets were created by me in their entirety, but blocking out a ship just for the blockout's sake would take me a whole day, and I was already starting to get scared from the scope of this scene. At this point I didn't think I was going to pull it off, and grabbing these ships helped me realize that my original vision simply wasn't going to happen. They were a lot of work, so I had to improvise something on the fly.

Much like in game development, the cool parts get cut. Ships were out, and I spent a whole hour trying to think what to do to replace them. And the clock kept ticking.

So I kept working on the composition. A 3 point composition would do it. A simple offset of focal points kept in flow by the terrain and contrast. Not too fancy, but would do the trick if done correctly.

Then I thought I might as well move on to the next thing: CREATING KEY PROPS. So I decided to get started with the rocks. I sculpted these godforsaken monstruosities and quickly decimated and textured them.

Here is a quick tip for you all: DONT RUSH THINGS. Because when you do, you end up losing time. They looked like crap. And I knew that. And hated the fact that I had to redo them. That didn't only make me lose time, but also severely affected my morale. Tackle things smartly, and give every piece of the puzzle the time it requires, because if one single piece is off, everything will look unfinished or just wrong.

Then added some fog and, just like that, the day was over. What a waste.

DAY 3. Rocking rocks.

Day 3 started at 7pm. I had to get to work with the rocks right away. So I did.

I looked for a lot of references and got to it. I ended up finding some killer ref on it, that was exactly what I needed. In the end, and after pretty much all day, I was happy with what I got. The sharp edges broke nicely with the smoothness of the scene. It almost felt like I was achieving a gradient between the smoothness of the water, the semi-rough surface of the sand and the sharpness of the rocks. I quite liked that. There was even a cool story element to it.

It also had to be reusable, so I sculpted it 360 degrees, since it was going to be rotated like crazy. I knew they weren't perfect since there was barely any small detail on them, but I would come back to them later.

I also kept developing the blend shader a bit. And used it on the rocks as a test, painting some sand on top of them.

DAY 4. Propping, mesh scatter and sand!

Getting back to it on the fourth day had me excited! I knew what I wanted to do with the rocks, so I started creating bigger variations and some backdrop ones. Once I had them, I kept working on the composition and framing of the whole piece. Also created some sharp ones to add at the distance, as some reference I found showed.

So at this point, halfway there, I had my composition kind of there, my secondary props almost done, my main textures half done, and I was still experimenting with lighting. Damn.

When propping, it's always good to keep micro-compositions in mind. There is a lot to talk about on this topic, and I plan to do it in the future in more detail, but as of now this should do. Every big shapes should be grounded, accompanied by medium and smaller bodies. And this is what you can see I did here. Breaking the rotation of assets and having other smaller props around them, blend big assets and terrain together smoothly, almost like in a gradient.

And then it clicked. I decided to take a huge U turn. Pirates wasn't an option anymore since the ships were too expensive to make. So I decided to turn into scifi. Star Wars more specifically. For some reason I just got a bit of a scifi vibe out of it. Decided to follow my gut.

First big change was lighting. Before I was aiming for something really moody and gray. Tons of fog, low visibility and and sad/uncomfortable mood. Changed it into a mostly clear sky at dusk.

DAY 5. Prop making

Getting back to it on the fourth day had me excited! I knew

My first idea was to recreate the crash from Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy on the planet of Blenjeel (the one where the sand worm tries to get you). So I thought it could be a really nice remaster piece to make! Story was figured out and all.

So I used some UE primitives to build the basic shapes of what I was going to go for in both focal points. It was going to be the fallen ship and one of the ships parts you need to retrieve in the mission.

But as I started looking for reference, what I could find was really limited. the game is really old and there is barely any art for the level. I found a single piece of concept art in one of many Star Wars wikis and started blocking it out from it.

My plan was to execute the main asset that day, so I quickly jumped into it. And as I started modelling one of the turbines of the ship (you can see it in the next image), it resembled something I was really fond of. So, again, a new sporadic change in the design...

Pod racers! I LOVE pod racing. Who doesn't?

And like that, day over!

DAY 6. Of grounding and helmets

First day of the weekend. My intention was to finish everything today. Wanted to have all props figured out, all dressing done, all painting in place, etc. The last day had to be just post processing and super small details in the scene. Lots of things happened on day 6.

The new prop was simpler and more easily recognizable. And, most importantly, I liked it! It would be now the remaining of a crashed pod. The races (as depicted both in the movie and the game) were pretty brutal, and so I figured I could try to show that.

Here is the asset.

After that I quickly jumped into grounding the asset better and adding smaller detail. Added some dragging marks for the turbine, wires, random parts of the broken pod scattered everywhere.

DAY 7. Final tweaks and presentation

Final day upon us!

I started the day early adding the third focal point to the scene. Backdrop pods racing at the distance. This wasn't only the third piece of the 3 point composition, but also a big storytelling element. This guy had some tough luck, but the race still keeps on going!

Also started to play heavily with a post process volume and some nice LUT tweaking.

Then did a final pass on everything. Added some more scatter, tweaked lighting, added some fake bouncing lights and tweaked the reflections. Then made some quick dead vegetation and added it around some rocks. The final composition was rather simple, but here is a breakdown of my mental process. It doesn't really matter which of the 3 focal points to see first, all of them are connected creating a circle flow between them.

In blue, you can see the helmet connecting with the turbine thru the wire in the sand, creating an arrow directly pointing back and forth. Framed by the rocks in the foreground, the helmet creates a strong contrasty focal point that is very likely to attract most attention at first glance.

In red, the turbine. The trail behind it serves a single purpose: its guiding the viewers sight towards the next focal point in the rotation. Also the same positioning of the turbine works as an arrow pointing left. Perspective and placement work together here for this end.

In green, the pod creates an attention spot simply because of contrast. And so it completes the circle. All shapes around are meant to both point towards it and guide the viewer back to the helmet.

General positioning on the scene and during the dressing had purpose. Playing with empty spaces vs populated ones, contrast and color helps, and here the sand areas and sea create clear paths to traverse. and the central, uninteresting, piece (in orange) creates the perfect shape to accentuate direction and a pivot for the whole image.

And so I was done! 8pm on Sunday. Crazy week! Was absolutely exhausted and had a real bad time trying to concentrate next Monday morning. But I managed to pull it off to the best of my ability in the given time, and the result was rather acceptable.

Many lessons learned on this. Not going to bore you with all the details of my own realizations, but I tought it would be nice to share the crafty side of them.

Im not doing this again any time soon. Even though I look back and can be proud of having finished a piece in this small amount of time, the gain wasn't really worth it. Things I would improve if would have had more time are:

Pods could have improved with some motion blur (didn't have the time to figure out how to make it happen in UE).

Smoke looks still and inorganic.

Rocks could be better grounded, with sand buildups on the sides.

Backdrop rocks are way too simple.

More color variation would have taken this to a much nicer place. I played it safe with complimentary colors.

Assets could use some more time.

And I think I could keep going on forever. Even though my eyes are still a bit used to seeing it constantly.

Thanks a lot for reading! Sadly I had to cut a bunch of it due to text characters limit, but I think this sums it up well enough.

Please leave any questions you may have, happy to answer them! Also any ideas and C&C on the piece is absolutely encouraged.

Thanks again, and till next time!

Otto

[pixiealtaira]

Things to be Happy About

Pairing: None really, it is a friendship fic...Kurt, Elliot and Dani

Author’s note: So..last year I decided to do a journal prompt challenge.  Or, rather, I thought about it.  I wrote down all the prompts in a notebook...and it sat and sat and sat.  The ridiculous thing of course being it was a 30 days of lists, about as easy a journal challenge as you get...but I was not feeling it at all.  So June of last year come around with the stupid notebook still sitting there mocking me and with me at an impass on the long fic that is still in progress, but not at the same point which is good....and I thought, I need something else to write on but I want to still be playing with the character’s I’m am writing so that stall Harry Potter fic isn’t an option...wait a minute! And thus this series of fics was born.  The titles will be kinda...bah,  However, each title is the journal prompt.  So maybe someone out there might want to write the prompt for their own 30 days (plus one) of Lists.

Kurt slid the door to the loft open as he finally reached home after his long day. He was really tempted to shoot whoever was in charge of scheduling for year three at NYADA and he half suspected that Rachel quit simply because she’d heard all about what her next year would have had in store for her.  First semester was the work-study project, the screen and play writing class, one of the playwrights in depth classes, and the “from script to concept’ class.  The latter three could be taken as on-line courses if one’s work project was out of the city as long as one also attended a summer workshop in each the next year to get the ‘physical’ parts completed, but if one’s work study was near-by each class took time on campus. The second semester was what was lovingly called the practical semester.  Of course, Kurt was also half certain somehow Rachel would have convinced everyone that SHE didn’t need to take stage craft (which at NYADA consisted of everything not included in the other classes, pretty much), or makeup arts, or costume design, or sound and lighting and that her spot in Funny Girl should negate a work-study project. Nor did she need to read or write anything, it was all about the acting…or rather the singing.  Somehow she would have just ended up with the voice workshops and dance class. She somehow managed it her freshman year, after all. Anyways…Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays Kurt spent from 9 to noon working with make-up and costuming and from 1 to 4pm working stagecraft and with the sound and lighting, about half and half.  He understood it, really.  He agreed, too.  Simply knowing what all went into a production was fine and dandy, if one even got that far. He didn’t think Rachel ever did, nor did Blaine.  They saw “sing” “act” “dance” as all they needed to even contemplate. However getting down and dirty with the rest of it was a whole other ballgame.  Doing the behind the scenes work made him respect the whole process even more.  He could already tell it made a difference in the few auditions he’d managed after starting this semester.  Tuesday and Thursdays were spent at dance class and the music workshops.  He had Madame Tibideaux’s voice workshop in the round from 9 to 11 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, followed by dance from 1 to 3 and the whole aptly named ‘How to be a proper part of the Chorus” workshop from 3:30 to 5pm. And Monday through Friday his had his voice and speech practicum from 8am to 8:55.  He seriously wasn’t sure which days were longer.  

From school he headed to one of his jobs.  He’d worked at Vogue.com, which was a part time paid job now.  He enjoyed it, even though he wasn’t Isabelle’s personal assistant anymore.  He worked with wardrobe right now, until he had more time to be the type of assistant Isabelle needed.  He rather loved it.  A lot was done in the evening and night, after those working the more normal hours had made the decisions and then gone home.  It also tended to be a bunch of work at once time but then light hours day to day.  Only once had he ever had to choose between work and class, and a once in a long while work emergency had not been a problem.  Besides, it was like doing make-overs all the time.  It was a good job for now.  He also had the diner job.  He’d nearly given it up, but after Rachel had quit and Santana had quit and he’d given the owner time to calm down while showing up for work on time and doing all he was expected without pushing for more,  it had ended up a much more pleasant experience.   On top of those, he’d picked up a few mechanic jobs over the past few months since Blaine had left.  He’d been looking desperately to pick up something extra that he could do when he needed just that little bit more cash for rent or bills or to eat.

It was a Wednesday. Stage craft had involved creating the backdrops.  It involved hammers, bruises…caused by himself and others, a first coat of paint which needed much better ventilation than was to be had, and a headache. Lighting and sound had involved creating thunder and lightning in many different forms.  Costume design was working with sewing machines, all 20 going at once, to finish a commission the costume design teacher had taken on and not followed through well with and thus was overdue on. Make-up design was ‘gore’ this week.  Work had been from 4:30 to 11:30 at the diner and he had to be at Vogue by 6am to get the last minute items set for a photoshoot the next day.  He’d had an hour of sleep the night before, covering his shift at the diner till 11:30pm and then opening for a sick co-worker starting at 5am, plus getting the last minute work done for his costuming class (steampunk Westside Story…he’d been in charge of two Jets costumes) and redoing a series of props for stage craft that he’d missed half the assignment instructions on.  The night before that hadn’t been much better.  Kurt was dragging. It was nearly half past midnight when Kurt got home. He wasn’t even certain if he ought to eat and shower, or just fall into bed for his four hours of sleep.

His apartment wasn’t empty. Dani and Elliot were there, kicked back on his couch watching TV and chatting.

“Oh Please don’t tell me I missed a rehearsal that I scheduled?”  Kurt asked.

“You’re home!” Elliot exclaimed.

Dani rushed over to Kurt, removed his bag and sat him right in the middle of the couch.  Before he could even say anything a bowl of curry over rice was handed to him.  It was warm and smelled so good.

“Nope.” Dani said.  “It’s just we noticed your schedule on the wall at the rehearsal Sunday night and decided you needed some TLC.”

“We’ll be over Friday night for a movie night and some good old fashioned chilling.  I’m bringing the fruit and other snacks.” Elliot added. “I let Dani pick the movie and games.”

“Now eat up so your bath doesn’t get cold.  I added just the right oils for relaxation and sleep aid.  There is yogurt, granola and fruit for your breakfast. I will know if you didn’t eat.”

With that Dani and Elliot both kissed his forehead and headed out the door, closing it tight behind them.

As he finished his dinner and washed his bowl and fork, realizing all his other dishes he hadn’t been able to do were done and shopping was done and things were cleaned, he pondered his life’s turns.  

Even though school was full and wild and work was busy, Kurt was pretty happy.   He actually was enjoying his classes and learning tons. Even if he never made it to Broadway, what he was learning now was providing the information he would need to help start community theater groups when he was older.  He loved costuming, he liked props, and he had fun working sets and managing a stage.  It didn’t make him want to give up his dreams of starring in a show like Rachel had yelled over the phone that it would, but it gave him a greater appreciation for the whole theater experience. He had fun in dance (oddly enough Ms. July was decent now that Blaine and Rachel weren’t there and hadn’t that been a disturbing few days of contemplation) and he learned a lot in his vocal courses, enjoying those as well.  School was worth it.

His band was still together and they still performed, in fact they had a small following that would hound them for the next show date and would always show up.  They never played to a room smaller than 50 now. All three and the band were fine with this, because they were all just in it for fun and enjoyment.  They played with genre and costumes and did theme nights and it was fun.  They’d even done weddings and birthday parties.  

He had a lovely flat, which he had an extra room which he could rent out when he choose to but which working like he did he could cover on his own if he needed to.  He controlled his own food.  He didn’t have to worry about if Rachel was being a vegetarian that day or not, or about someone trying to fatten him up to relieve their own self-doubt.  He could sing when he wanted and dance when he wanted and watch his own TV.

He had friends and wasn’t that an eye-opener, having real friends.  He’d forever be grateful that Elliot got back from his retreat when he did.  Elliot missed the whole break-up and the next several weeks while they still had to share the loft until the end of school…during which Kurt went to school and went to class and took his tests and sang when he was supposed to and did his assignments and went to work so rent could be paid and picked up the loft and Blaine went out and partied it up, coming home drunk and skipped classes and blew off June (for whom he was already skipping classes to start off with) or lay on the couch bemoaning life and moaning about how everything and everyone hated him, eating junk food and take out and not doing anything except moan and then yell and throw things.  Elliot missed the spectacular melt down when Blaine was informed he flunked out.  He missed the movers coming in the next day and Kurt having to stay home from work after watching Blaine trying to pack stuff that wasn’t his for fifteen minutes.

Elliot was home, though, by the end of that move-out week.  He had popped over to discuss keeping the band going when the first of the angry texts came from Sam, and then from Brittany and Santana and Mercedes. The texts accusing Kurt of making Blaine flunk out, of making teachers give him bad grades.  The ones accusing him of throwing Blaine out the moment they broke-up (which he didn’t) and stealing Blaine’s money by taking rent when he wasn’t even living in the apartment anymore (Blaine hadn’t even paid rent for the last two months) and taking all Blaine’s stuff.   Elliot was there the day Kurt came home from his first psychologist visit (with the same guy that encouraged Rachel to see having an understudy as a plot against her and who told Blaine that it was healthy for him to be the alpha gay and Kurt to always be less than him, two confident people cannot work as a relationship, one must always be subservient and lying to each other only gave a relationship spice) and Elliot was there to point out that Kurt thought the guy was insane when Rachel and Blaine were seeing him, why would he think what the guy said to him to be less insane now?  Elliot called Dani, who gave Kurt the name of several other individuals, all of whom were more comfortable to talk to and within which he found a psychologist who really did help.

Dani was home by the time he was ready to even consider starting to date, and before that Dani and Elliot dragged him out to other places and encouraged him to make friends at work and school.  Chase was the one who suggested speed dating and got him a spot, Dani was the one he complained to about the guy who said he wasn’t over his boyfriend and also the one to suggest maybe it wasn’t Blaine they were talking about.  Ellie, who he worked with at wardrobe, sat with him as he called the Apples he knew were still around, apologizing to them and asking for Adam’s contact information.  Elliot held his hand while he called Adam and apologized.  Elliot and Dani both insisted on meeting Adam, and they all talked as Kurt and Adam become friends again.  

Kurt was able to rejoin the Apples and work with them.  He reconnected to friends he’d started to make there.  He connected again with friends he’d made in his stage combat and mime classes, and joined other clubs again.

Dani and Elliot and all the Apples around at the time were waiting at the coffee house kitty corner to the spot where everyone was supposed to meet up in 6 months’ time, and stayed until Kurt gave up.  They took him out clubbing and reminded him why he was in New York.  Dani called Chase who called Isabelle, who invaded the loft the next night with a party on the go, just to cheer him up.  Elliot called Adam, who flew in over the weekend and they teamed up to drag Kurt sightseeing, to all those places Kurt had not taken the time to see since he was living there and not a tourist.

Kurt came back to New York after running to answer Rachel’s call, instead of staying in Lima. Instead of having the bad advice of that first psychologist and the old-flame speed dating guy in his head shouting and mixing with Rachel’s wish and desire to see them back together, Kurt had other voices.  Ones who showed him what he’d suspected all along and told him that yes, choosing each day to love someone and trust someone was a good way to deal after they continually hurt you…however, that didn’t make it the only answer ever.  The next day you can choose something else and it is not a failure.  He was able to watch Blaine and David together and cry in the bathroom at the loss of a relationship he’d invested so much in, but he was also able to say NO. No to Rachel, No to the relationship and No to trying to fix something that had been so broken for so long.  Furthermore, he realized he didn’t even have to start dating just yet.  There was nothing that said he had to have a boyfriend at all times to be enjoying life.

His bath was still warm and even the towels were heated.  Kurt laughed.  He knew Dani liked to toss them in the microwave to heat.  He relaxed and reached for the body wash Dani had set out. It was a favorite sleepy time mix that she’d found worked to combat insomnia.  

He’d come home to New York. He did his work-study at the same home where he’d done Peter Pan.  He helped them put on the musical Annie and the play Barefoot in the Park. He also picked up some extra hours helping a small children’s theater group just down the street from his loft put together a production of Alice In Wonderland after one of the aides at the old performers home found out he had done costumes when he was in high school.  It wasn’t working with Broadway babies, heck some of the kids couldn’t sing what they were supposed to and not many could dance at all, but it was fun and so fulfilling to help provide the chance for the kids to be able to get up on a stage and perform to the best ability they could.  He was able to take the classes he needed to take at the school and sing with the Apples again and perform with his band.    He auditioned.  He even managed to end up at two call-backs.  Sure, he hadn’t made it onto the stage yet, but a call-back wasn’t anything to be laughed at.  He’d played chorus parts in both NYADA musicals since the break-up.  He’d scored near the top on all showcase performances he’d done. He was holding his own and he was doing well.

And with him not back in Lima, his dad and Carole had had to come to New York.  His dad had had to take a vacation.  Carole had had to take a vacation.  His dad was able to meet Elliot and Dani and watch the band play on Elvis night.  Carole was able to go to work with him at Vogue, and meet Isabelle and watch a photoshoot he’d worked wardrobe on.  They went and watched a show.  They talked about Finn without despair, able to laugh about what he’d have thought. It was good.

Kurt got out of the tub. He dried off, drained the water, and headed to his bed.  He found the comfiest flannel PJs he owned on his bed, his blankets turned down, and Bruce in place.  Somehow, he thought he might just have the best life ever.

[devilofmidtownwest]

Just sending in my thoughts on the show, not trying to start any arguments. So I actually found iron fist really enjoyable. I know it wasn't perfect and maybe I just found it better because I needed my superhero fix, but I am surprised to see how much hate it gets. I still think it was the worst out of all of the other Netflix marvel shows but I didn't think it was that bad. What are your main reasons for hating it?

I’m glad some people are coming forward and saying they liked it! I generally wish the Marvel Netflix universe well. I really wanted to like Iron Fist. I had some faith that, based on how well they did the other shows, they would handle some pretty dated and racist material and give it a real update to reflect modern sensibilities, but alas, no.

(1) Iron Fist follows the “white savior” trope to the fullest extent. Danny Rand goes Asia, then a magical kingdom in a magical Asian dimension, and not only becomes a fighter, but becomes THE BEST fighter, better than all of the natives. And then he literally STEALS a superpower from their tradition (the show implies pretty heavily that he was not supposed to be the Iron Fist) and uses it to beat them up. That’s hardcore “white people are better than Asians, even at Asian stuff” right there.

(2) Danny Rand claimed to be a Buddhist monk but he knew literally nothing about Buddhism. I don’t think anything he said was actually Buddhist. In fact, many things he said were contrary to Buddhist teachings. (And he pronounced “Om Mani Padme Hung” really wrong) The writers did absolutely no research on Buddhism - oranges don’t represent forgiveness, and Buddhist monks can’t even wear green. They also can’t fight people in anger, but you know, you’re going to have some of that with a kung fu show.

(3) Speaking of kung fu, the fight choreography was really, really bad. I would have been less annoyed by it if the Marvel Netflix hadn’t specifically made a name for themselves with their outstanding fight choreography. The actor playing Danny Rand was clearly not up to the task and/or given enough prep time, and they couldn’t rely on a stunt double because his face was uncovered, so it was pretty easy to tell that just about everyone he was fighting - many of whom were chosen for their roles for their martial arts skills - was better than him. And this is specifically Iron Fist’s thing, being a kung fu master. It’s what he was sold as in the comics; it’s part of his charm. It’s kinda like not making Luke Cage strong or bulletproof?

(4) The total conflation of Asian cultures. Colleen Wing, a Chinese woman, placed by a Chinese actress, wielding a Japanese sword and raised by the Hand, who adhere to a very vague Japanese honor code, but the Hand (at least the people that Danny visited on that campus) doesn’t seem to contain many Japanese people. Even the other scripted Asian, Davos, wasn’t played by an Asian guy. The showrunners just took whatever they wanted from wherever they wanted to make their script go, without paying any attention to the cultural sensitivities of that part of the world, which is why I can’t even get my Asian-American fans to watch it. Like they have seen every other Marvel show and movie and they are just skipping right over this one.

(5) Oh, and having an old Chinese woman as a tea-drinking opium dealer is pretty racist, too. But I like Madame Gao so much I’m willing to forgive. Except for that scene in Daredevil where she was ALSO running a laundromat, painting cherry blossoms, because someone was just ticking off racist boxes?

(6) The non-mystical part of the plot was super duper boring. It’s not hard to make problems of the 1% (as Iron Fist was pitched in certain promotions) interesting; people do it all the time. Americans love to see rich people get taken down a peg and we love office dramas. But G-ddamn did I not care who was running Rand Industries. Danny was super obsessed with it because either the plot demanded it or he wanted to be super rich, which is not exactly a lovable character trait. He associated his dad with a company that makes dangerous chemicals? Doesn’t sound like he and his dad had much of a relationship. Seeing him act like a totally unqualified CEO who doesn’t know anything about his own business was kind of fun, but most of it was about stakeholding and shares and company protocol and didn’t make a whole lot of sense. I found it hard to care about a guy who is offered 25 million dollars to go away and thinks it’s nobler to stick around to try and get more money. I’ve never been offered 25 million dollars to sit around and do nothing. I would very much like to be offered ANY amount of money to sit around and do nothing. It made Danny act like a whiny, greedy asshole, which I could understand if he had just come out of a monastery and got really seduced by the material pleasures of life (which happens to a LOT of ex-monks), but he was just right out of the gate, “This company is mine and I want it.”

(7) Danny was a creepy stalker who should have left Colleen alone. Walking in with dinner? Buying her building? Do you know how freaked out I would be if this guy I couldn’t get rid of was now my landlord? Because I would be VERY freaked out. I would probably get a restraining order. But then we learn that, contrary to the way she’s been acting, she’s cozying up to him because of the Hand? Maybe? I’m super confused but that doesn’t make him any less creepy.

(8) There are very specific laws about 72-hour holds and how psychiatrists operate. Considering not one but two characters’ fortunes hinged on it, you would have thought somebody would have looked this stuff up.

(9) Holy shit, the Hand has a cure to opium addiction? Dude Ward you make pharmaceuticals!?! How is this never mentioned again?

(10) The acting was not spectacular. Most of the main characters were having a trouble holding down their British/Kiwi accents, which kind of made them sound like they were from nowhere. Certainly not New York. It wasn’t so much of a problem until real actors showed up, like Rosario Dawson or Carrie Fisher Anne Moss, and you were like, “Oh, that’s how you sell a ridiculous line.” I actually didn’t enjoy Claire too much because she really outshone her co-stars, and her “why the fuck are we doing this stupid plan” question didn’t get answered.

(11) This whole show seemed very much like a rush job. A lot of care and devotion went into the previous shows. You could tell that the showrunners were deeply versed not only in the mythology of the shows but also some parts of them were visual masterpieces with their use of color and framing to resemble comic panels. They had plotlines that developed and ended. Characters grew. They had a reason for being there. You could tell what they were about and where they were going. Iron Fist was a visually uninteresting show that spent 13 hours setting up the Hand plotline in the Defenders, a plotline that already ruined the second half of Daredevil season 2. It wasn’t a show about the Iron Fist. We didn’t learn what the Iron Fist was, or what he was supposed to do, or why he wasn’t doing it. He didn’t seem to know himself, but the fact that he became the Iron Fist without knowing what the hell the Iron Fist is supposed to do wasn’t a plot that was explored, even though it could have been a really interesting one. He just told everyone what he was over and over again, as if somebody in the room forgot, and never supplied any explanation because he didn’t seem to have any information. This is not mythology building. This is just killing time until the plot comes along.

(12) Oh yeah, and Danny struck a black kid and called him a monkey. Let’s not forget that shit.

[cosmosogler]

hello. i had a little trouble falling asleep last night. i like to pet eve while she falls asleep, but it’s not the most comfortable position for me, as i usually prefer to sleep on my other side. i think for the first time in weeks i actually DIDN’T have to get up after laying there for 30 minutes, which was nice, as that means i actually fell asleep 30 minutes earlier than it usually takes me. since when i get up i usually have to start falling asleep all over.

i didn’t manage to do anything productive before i left for lunch. i met with linda and david and we hung out and nibbled on our food and talked for two hours. it was nice. i made a mistake though. when they asked how i continued studying physics without any emotional support from my parents i said “because i hate myself” and they got REALLY concerned. 

i guess that is kind of a vicious comment. i tend to laugh after i say it so people my age react like it might have been a joke. they cut through the usual bs i pad my depression admissions with though and asked if i was doing ok and if i was talking to a counselor. 

they talked a lot about pearl and al. i remember that pearl liked to talk about linda and david whenever i went to visit, but i filed them away as “people i don’t know” even though she would tell me they lived in the same area as me. but now i know them, so now i am visiting with them.

when i got home i played outside with wiley until we were both exhausted. eve ran around a little bit, but i think she got hot really fast. wiley has thick, long fur, but eve is black.

i was way too sore and pained to do anything all afternoon. i didn’t make any phone calls. though i did pick up my prescriptions from the pharmacy and checked on my refills. and i called and talked to oz and mario for a while. oz showed me a really fun app for your phone where you throw paper airplanes around the world and stamp ones that come to you. i found airplanes stamped from all sorts of places. i showed it to dad later and he liked it too. there’s no names attached, just cities and dates.

i spent a long time downstairs hanging out with the dogs while i waited for mom and dad to make a decision about dinner. and i cleaned the pool while dad did yard work. the tree on the sidewalk that runs behind our backyard is in bloom and the little yellow flowers and pollen have coated our backyard. birds mistake the pool for a bed of flowers and try to land in it. dad had to fish a poor drowned bird out of it the other day. basically we just take a net and run it along the pool’s surface around the outside and that clears it up a little bit. the vacuum and filters are always clogged after two or three days this time of year.

then we had pizza for dinner. i don’t like the restaurant mom gets the pizza from very much. they don’t seem to mix the toppings and sauce very well. at least domino’s gets the right sauce/cheese ratio and their crust doesn’t take up half the slice. even little caesars is like, the taste is bland enough that you just kinda taste the dipping sauce.

while i was waiting for dinner i did some research on the effects of aging on dogs, and symptoms to look for that aren’t just age. i’m gonna try moving to hand commands with eve over the next few weeks and see if she picks it up while she can still hear. did you know that macaws can live like 80 years? even pigeons can hit 15 when kept as pets. urban pigeons only usually make it to 3 or 4, which is really sad and also a sign that they are probably more suited to life as pets. maybe if i figure out how to keep birds i will take in some pigeons.

hmm. tomorrow i am going to gramma’s house to prepare for the easter gathering on sunday. it mostly involves painting eggs and maybe baking a cake. according to gramma i am PRETTY GOOD at making cakes! i, at least, always like what i bake with gramma. baking and cooking are actually fun when you’re with a partner. when i’m doing it by myself i just kind of stand there and wait.

i did draw a picture today! i drew my character fern heckling asher’s character kai. it wasn’t anything complicated, really just head and shoulders, and i didn’t finish the line work or ink it, but asher liked it. and... it felt good. and i think i somehow got better without practicing. 

like, this drawing wasn’t better than my previous art by a long shot, but something about it... if i draw more, i could refine it i think, in a way i couldn’t before. and i did hang on to one of the fan character “candidates.” and there was one other person i kinda looked at but wasn’t sure about because she already knows who i am haha. 

god i’m so shy. it’s hard to, like, be friendly and supportive to random people when you see their profiles like “I HATE GROWNUPS” and like, i’m a grownup now??? when did that happen? 

i’m also shy about people on tumblr. i haven’t followed anyone new in a long time because i’m afraid they’ll look at my posts... but i still check their pages. i am aware this would be a lot easier for me if i just followed them. i mean, i see most of their posts anyway. i feel more comfortable following other people who, like, write about their depression and stuff. even though my tumblr is about 70% not depression blogging and more “whatever i saw that i liked or thought was interesting and wanted my friends to see.” 

am i the only one that finds it extremely difficult to interact with teenagers? even just to be friendly and supportive, because i know how difficult being a teenager was? i don’t even talk to my usual internet friend group any more because they brought in a new teenager and she shuts down the conversation when it isn’t about video games because she doesn’t want “the discourse.” it took two bad experiences and i’m already avoiding interacting with her... i don’t even talk to my brother about anything and i see him every day. 

today i had a veggie burger with a fruit cup. it made me extremely ill. it made driving home kind of hard and disorienting. then i had some pizza with sun dried tomatoes and spinach and pesto sauce. i almost actually threw up. i went in the bathroom and stared at the toilet and put my hand against the sink and sweated and tried to breathe for a few minutes. i only forgot my medication at lunch. of course... my parents didn’t end up getting dinner until two hours after i had taken my dinner dosage, so maybe i had waited too long between taking the meds and eating.

in the evening dad started taping down some paper to the tile in preparation for painting the walls. eve was terrified of the noise the tape made as dad unrolled it. wiley joined us and “helped” by putting the roll of floor paper in his mouth repeatedly and chewing on dad’s hands and feet and then licking the paint we dripped on the floor when we wrote some stuff next to my brother’s door. dad said it was non toxic so i’m not TOO worried, but the dog would eat rat poison if we didn’t stop him. we ended up putting him and eve in my room while dad taped down my side of the hallway, so i put on some dog music and wiley and eve were dozing within 15 minutes.

we wrote “goofy goober” next to my brother’s door with an arrow pointing into the room. i snap chatted a picture of it. then my brother came home and went in his room to look for the “prank.” i took a picture of him standing there with “goofy goober” pointing at him and sent that to asher. 

so i did some of the things i wanted today, but not all of them. that’s ok. i find it hard to do TWO of the things i want to do in a day, let alone three or four or five. which is the number of things i need to do. and i did three! i picked up my meds and went to lunch and drew for a few minutes.

[haruharokuhana]

10 FACTS ABOUT ME :: TAG GAME

Tagged by: @stephicness

1. I’m “still” a college student studying interior design. I have my Associates degree in interior merchandising and on my last leg on receiving my Bachelors of Science in interior design. I’m mostly focusing in commercial, hospitality, and retail because residential design bores me. Yay! I’m graduating mid May! I’m done!!

2. I said “still” because I have been in college for about 8 years already. I decided to take the long route rather than speeding through with just 4 years in. I wanted to get the most out of my education and take my time learning all that I needed with my field (although I am tired of being in school my entire life already). I spent 5 years at junior college and transferred to a state university for my remaining 3 years now.

3. I’m from California (hey~~) I live away from home... well just 6 - 8 hour drive away from home and 1 hour by plane. I was born and raised in Southern California, but I moved to Northern California just for school. I do plan on moving back home just for work though and also because I’m comfortable with the city I was born in. I love San Francisco, but my field of work is more prominent in L.A.

4. I happen to chose and sticking to my major by just picking the class one day during my freshmen year to fulfill my electives. Since then I was inspired and motivated, but before that I have always been passionate about art and still is. I knew I loved art since I was 5, but I didn’t really get into drawing and painting till I was 7 or 8 (i don’t remember). 

5. My drawing style is basically anime and graphite on paper is the only media I use (unless I’m rendering furniture and buildings, I use a mix of markers, pastels and color pencils). Although, a lot of my friends and people out there would say my art is awesome and all, I still have a lot to learn. I am always impress how people (some of you out there) draw people and things so quickly especially with something like a sketch just looks like a finish product to me. I guess it takes me forever to draw cuz I don’t pre-sketch guide lines??? I mean I kinda do, but not the way most people do. LOL.

6. I can use a lot of architecture programs on my computer, but I can’t use a tablet to draw. HA! Main reason why my drawings are not digital. More props to you young’ins out there. 

7. I don’t really listen to English language music. I only know of songs and artists from friends and from working at a clothing retail. I mostly listen to Japanese Rock/ Visual Kei music. Right now my favorite band is The GazettE (has been). Alice Nine was my all time favorite, but their inactivity and change of music style has dropped them to my second favorite. I still love them and I love that they’re trying a different style, but I feel like they’re lacking a bit.

8. Speaking of work, I’ve been working part-time at H&M for almost 5 years. I lot of my managers and supervisors kept pushing me to work full-time so I can get promoted, but my education is my top priority.

9. I’m allergic to pet dander, but that doesn’t stop me from playing with the adorable fluffs! I don’t get serious allergic reactions though. After playing or petting dogs, cats, and other of the sorts, I just have to sanitize my hands or wash with soap and water. Otherwise,... if I touch my face with my dirty hands, I’m just dying of irritation. 

10. Just because I spoke to a friend about this a couple of days ago, I thought it would be interesting and fun to add... Foods I DON’T like: Anything pickled (yeah not even kimchi), Anything spicey (yeah... kimchi), although I can take mild spiciness, but the heat and burning sensation spoils my appetite plus I can’t even taste my food. Bean sprouts, Brussels sprouts, Cauliflower, Kale, Raw Onion (fried onions or saute is good), Purple cabbage, Bell Peppers, Radishes, Beats, Bitter Melon, Crayfish, Shrimp, Passion Fruit, Guava, Mango, and yes... BANANAS! Don’t even try to reason with me, but I DO NOT like bananas. Especially artificial flavored bananas. Something about the flavor and chalky texture gets to me. There are a lot of other things I don’t like, but this is all I can think of at the moment.

That’s it! If you want to get to know more about me, feel free to Ask or PM me. I do not bite, unless you’re those annoying porn bots cuz I hate you guys, why do you even exist. 

I tag~~ @numinoceur @niceeyepatch @pandomi @missverypink cuz I love you guys. 

[stingchronicity]

do............. all of them

omg emily thank you ily

Purple: 10 facts about my room

1. the walls are a terrible shade of green (not my choice)

2. my favourite poster on my wall is my Brain Salad Surgery poster and sometimes i spend hours just looking at Keith bc he makes me happy

3. i don’t have any shelves so i keep my records lined up on the floor and there are so many of them that they take up approx. 1/3 of my floor

4. i have a glass drafting table that i love, and when i did more graphite drawings i used to have it tilted up all the time, but ever since i started doing more paintings, it’s been set flat (plus there’s a bunch of shit on it)

5. there is a caricature of myself and keith emerson holding hands on my wall (done by a lovely woman i met in the last hospital i stayed in)

6. i also have a lot of my own art on my walls (foxtrot painting, abacab fantasies, steve winwood painting, bloody piano, rush logo, smirky tony banks, red keith, a thing i did for david bowie, a bloody flower, and the valentine i made for keith)

7. i have 4 (used to have 5) calendars on my wall and they’re all out of date

8. i have a copy of queen’s Hot Space vinyl on my wall and also a ceramic mask with balloons on it

9. the records i can see from the spot i’m sitting at right now are Honky by Keith Emerson, the first Asia album, The Kids Are Alright by the Who, and Love Beach by ELP

10. i keep the following things on my bed: first off i have my purple/pink/blue comforter and the matching sheets and pillow cases (2 pillows), and then i have a throw blanket that’s black and white and very soft; a really thin and cool to the touch Mickey Mouse sheet that was my mom’s in the 70s (i like to snuggle it in the summer bc its somehow always cold); greg lake pillow (from my own redbubble); a star shaped rainbow pillow (i call him carl !!) which i got from my sister; a hello kitty bunny (don’t remember the character’s name) plushie with a carrot (i call him keith ♥️️) which is one of the toys i had as a baby; Mr. Bonks the giant panda plushie which was a valentine’s gift; and most importantly !! keith blanket (from the amazing @moogotron) and keith pillow (which i bought myself) !! my most prized possessions !!

Blue: 9 facts about my family

1. we’re chinese/costa rican

2. we usually just speak english but sometimes we speak ~spanglish~

3. i have a love/hate relationship with my sister

4. i’m decently close with my parents although my dad can be an asshole

5. my brother is dead to me bc he gave me PTSD and basically killed my innocence

6. my entire family is fairly ableist except my mom who at least tries to be understanding

7. i have one nephew (age 6) who is my brother’s child, and two nieces (aged almost 2 and the other is 1 month) and they’re my sister’s children

8. i have 2 kitties !! they’re twins from my old cat and their names are Coda and Kenai (from Brother Bear) !! coda is my smol and good prince and he spends every night in my bed (he’s actually asleep next to me rn) and is like,, in love with me (krista calls him a “humany” bc hes like the opposite of a furry). kenai is enormous like a vet once told me he’s the largest cat she’s ever seen and its true he’s very bode and that’s like,, the only way to tell them apart bc they look exactly the same except their weight, and kenai has a kink in the very end of his tail 

9. i’m not that close with my family i don’t know what else to say

Green: 8 facts about appearance

1. hmm my hair is really dark brown and it’s feathered

2. i have a singular white hair that i was born with and still have

3. i have long legs but short arms

4. smol and sad (but perky) boobs

5. i do like my cute nose and lips

6. i have a really tiny waist and rather wide hips

7. i’m 5′7″?? idk

8. my back hurts rn

Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood

1. it was terrible

2. i didn’t have a childhood

3. we were extremely poor and everyone ignored me bc they were too busy dealing with my siblings’ legal trouble and such

4. my body was used and nobody cared 

5. i was a “gifted” child so nobody read me bedtime stories or helped me or like,, spent time with me after the age of like 4

6. i never really had friends, and nobody my age lived near me so i spent every weekend alone and neither of my siblings seemed to even remember i existed, nor my parents, so

7. my dad yelled at me so much for bothering him or asking him questions or asking to hang out with him that i’m perpetually scared of people yelling and will cry if someone yells at me

Orange: 6 facts about my home town

1. i do not even think i can fit in 6 facts about my hometown

2. its less than 700 people

3. more churches than homes

4. we have a single eatery and basically its a parking lot with a tiny building where you go up to the window and order things like hot dogs (theyre actually p good not gonna lie)

5. ummmmmmmmmmmmm

6. i hate it

Red: 5 facts about my best friend

i don’t want any of my friends to feel left out here so i’ll give u a fact abt my closest pals

1. @moogotron is a slut (jk heres a real fact abt her: she once fell out of a stationary car and now has a scar on her temple)

2. @auroreamethyste has the same special interest as me !!! eeeee !!! (actually when i first thought of a fact for you, my mind went to the nutcracker story but i don’t know if it’s okay to share it XD)

3. @dumbfaceadventureland knows so much about birds???? i am truly amazed and whenever i see birds i think of her

Pink: 4 facts about my parents

1. my dad has seen pink floyd like 3 times

2. my mom once had a fax conversation with jon bon jovi

3. todd rundgren took my dad sledding in the 80s (they lived in the same town, woodstock NY)

4. my dad was in the studio with the band when foghat recorded “slow rider” (to sum it up my dad knows a lot of famous musicians)

White: 3 facts about my personality

1. aaa difficult question hmm well i spend about 3/4s of my day in a childish mood where i kinda feel like i’m 5 years old and i want to cuddle up in cute pyjamas and stuff idk how to describe this it just happens

2. bold and brash (aka belongs in the trash) seriously though i’m not bold or brash at all (but i do belong in the trash)

3. i’m more like a soft mouse who likes to spend a lot of time thinking

Grey: 2 facts about my favorite things

favourite material items?

1. keith pillow !! and keith blanket !! the two most wonderful objects i own they’re so soft and covered with my beautiful keith

2. i carry them around constantly like, literally everywhere i go i take keith pillow with me (easier to carry than keith blanket, though i take him with me sometimes too)

Black: 1 fact about the person I like

1. beautiful blue eyes, soft sandy brown hair, plays a various amount of keyboards, is in emerson lake and palmer

eeee thanks again !