#i kind of want to actually write the second one but also it will definitely get long and probably like 3 people will read it

[olderthannetfic]

How do you feel about the different styles of writing POVs?

Personally, first person is the most awkward to write and the most restrictive. It definitely has its place though, when the narrative lends itself to releasing limited info. I can’t bring myself to write in first person though, it feels so weird. I think I enjoy a level of detachment when reading and writing fiction.

I’ve seen people rag on second person but I find it the easiest to read, it seems more natural than say, first person. You’re understanding the narrator but you’re not physically in their shoes. You’re a silent observer, privy to character thoughts but also able to detach and view them as a whole. There’s a level of intimacy with the character but more detachment than first person.

Okay so google says third person can be split into two; limited and omniscient.

I find omniscient to be a funny beast, as it’s not a style that I write, often finding that if I give away what everyone was thinking, all the time, the element of mystery is lost. For me, it feels like showing everyone’s inner thoughts or motivations at the same time ruins the suspense, at least in the fiction I write. I think that’s a personal failing though because I enjoy reading fiction with omniscient POV.

Limited, I’d like to say, is more within my wheelhouse, but I have been known to switch character POV in different chapters. I wonder if by switching characters per chapter that actually means I write omniscient. Anyway.

I feel like I’m write in some weird, secondary-third person which feels very much like playing with dolls: X mutters quietly, stepping close to Y. Y responds with a remark, grasping X’s hand. X is overwhelmed, their thoughts racing. Etc.

Very reductive, but you get the point. One persons intentions are clear, the other is not.

I’m troubled as I think that my writing style comes across as unnatural, almost robotic. I find it hard to step into the mind of another person, especially if it’s a creation of not my making - how could I possibly know how this character would react in this situation? I can only guess and hope it reads as in-character. As such, I often find that I don’t spend a lot of time expanding on how characters feel and their inner thoughts on situations, which seems like a really big oversight! It’s difficult for me, though.

Do you have any tips or assurances about this kind of thing?

I apologise as well, brevity is not a strength of mine.

--

Oh god... the things I want to say, nonnie...!

I've promised myself no more really long writing meta on here. I write that stuff for my patreon, which I should be spending more time on.

The short version is: I loathe second person due to early exposure to CYOA books and just finding it clunky and mannered.

First makes it more obvious if your command of character voice is ass, but it's not actually more intimate or harder than limited third.

Limited third is often the most neutral and transparent of voices for English language popular fiction in modern times. It's the norm. It's what has all the conventions built up. Switching chapter by chapter is very common and is not omniscient in any sense, WTF, anon.

Omniscient makes more sense if you've been reading works that are actually in it. Golden Age mystery novels are a good example. No, it does not list every thought of every character. What? No good writing does that. Of course you withhold info.

What does "secondary third person" mean here?

[chasedeys]

I always find it funny how different Ja’marr and Joe’s aesthetics are (edgy vs psychedelic like you said) given how different their personalities are

like Ja’marr is human sunshine while Joe has very serious black cat energy (unless he’s with certain people but what do I knoooww 🤔)

they truly dooooo have differing aesthetics oughguhguhh like they both love their bright colorful statement pieces to death they just go on about it their own way like i said yeah ja'marr pairs them with dark and edgy while joe goes for downright psychedelic 😭

ja'marr loves his diamonds and blings while joe wears them too but kind of bc its kind of expected of him??? (?? i don't actually know for sure the particular lore of his blings tbh lol but its giving those vibes. kind of expected him to be a grossly expensive charms necklace kind of guy. the recent colorful (?) one is definitely his vibes tho). ja'marr's entire thing with the fleur de lis vs joe's entire thing with his sentimental wristbands. and then their styles just start bleeding into each others oughgughguhh (well ja'marr's to joe lol clearly the better style between the two and also. clothes saga. ehem)

bright sunshine ja'marr 😔🫶🫶 but also specifically he’s THE golden hour moment you know that setting sun brilliance growing darker by the minute bc he’s very free with his laughter and smiles and jolly and happy-go-lucky (joes own choice of word btw crazy) but he also has extremely petty layers like the competency thing, the i won’t trade jerseys if you talked shit thing, the write my name right thing, the whole beef he has with an entire nfl team thing etc etc

ALSO if i could make some cat dog comparisons lol:

ja'marr's giving golden retriever sure but he’s more of a german shepherd to me but specifically the ones with extreme case of soulful puppy dog eyes and whines to be petted and shamelessly thinks he's a lap dog and rips all his toys within weeks and refuses to wear plain collars and leashes and enjoys walks to the park where he gets to run around with all the dogs in the park within the first few seconds of arriving but also stays loyally by your side growling at strangers getting too close to you and also refuses to sleep anywhere but on your bed by your feet and there's times when you sit on your toilet seat trying to take a shit only to nearly die with your pants down bc he just slammed open the bathroom door and sat his ass down right in front of you staring at you taking a shit.

joe's definitelyyyy black cat but particularly those black cats that shows affection on his own terms one minute you’re having a heart attack bc he appeared out of nowhere rubbing on your ankles and purring when you scrub between his ears only to freak out the next minute because he’s disappeared literally to thin air only for him to meow balefully from inside the kitchen cabinets bc you’re too loud and frantic while he’s trying to have his lone time but also incredibly loyal when your family and friends come by he’s nowhere to be found but when you have weird strangers over he sticks by your side hackles raised hissing at them and he also has moments of silliness where you look up and he’s contorted himself to an eldritch horror shape just staring at you in the middle of the dark and it's just because he wants the spot your sitting on.

combine them 🫶 and you come home to black cat peacefully napping on top of a panting german shepherd's head while your couch pillows are obliterated to shreds and stuffing all over the place and there’s kitty claw marks all over the coffee table.

[kyouka-supremacy]

--

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[afniel]

Maaaaaaaaaaaan, come on.

(the post has ended up in the tags btw. I am not changing this and I need you to understand that it is just me talking to myself semi-publicly)

[buffintruder]

📕📘📗📗📓📚📒📔📙📜

Thank you for this ask, but sorry in advance. In retrospect, I don't even know why I reblogged this ask meme because the only fics I have been able to think about are Kamen Rider fics and almost none of the people following me have seen any Kamen Rider

(prompt: Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.)

Anyway since you sent so many books, I'll talk about two ideas:

FMA post canon

Look, Greed's death made me very sad and he will be alive in all the fics I write because that's what he deserves.

That said, I think it would be very fun/horrible to write something from Ling's pov after Greed dies, specifically maybe something in the set up of "five times someone thought he was Greed and one time they didn't"

I haven't planned out specific scenes but here's what I think a few of them would be

-Darius and Heinkel who have only really known Greed and weren't around to watch the final showdown (I think? If they were around in canon, they aren't in this au) and are like "hey boss good to see you made it out of this mess" and Ling has to be like "....he didn't make it out"

-Ling has talked to Ed a couple times in the aftermath of the battle but one time he comes up from behind him or something and for a split second Ed is like "ugh Greed stop bothering me" and then they both realize

-idk about this one but I feel like at some point on him+Lan Fan+Mei's journey back to Xing, they run into some sort of situation where Ling thinks it would be beneficial to act like Greed to get out of it

-the final scene would be in Xing and I'm not sure, maybe he would wake up from a nightmare where he was Greed being pulled out of Ling's body (they were psychically linked then, you can't tell me that wouldn't leave some really weird scars and dreams) and Lan Fan wakes him up and calls him Ling, and of course she would never see him as anything other than Ling because she's known him her whole life and always refused to accept Greed having control of his body

Kamen Rider Blade Star Trek

Okay so when I was in early high school there was a genre of crossover in which a team (Star Trek crew, Firefly crew, the Avengers) meet some strange man (honestly usually the Doctor from Doctor Who) and are just like 'wtf is this guy's deal's. Additionally, Kamen Rider Blade has a novel set 300 years in the future where the main character has amnesia. So I have decided to combine the two of these things

Basically Kamen Rider Blade ending premise (spoilers): a human called Kenzaki sacrifices his humanity for a member of the monster group (Hajime) to keep living a life among humans. The catch is that now they are both immortal, and if they ever meet again they will be compelled to fight to the death

So this fic would alternate between povs of the cast of Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

One day they receive a distress call, but upon further inspection it's coming from a small craft that has already been shot up to the point where nobody could survive it. They figure that they might as well check it though, see if there are any bodies to return to families or something. However, there is a unconscious but otherwise perfectly healthy and human looking man.

He wakes up, and it turns out that he doesn't have any of his memories except his name, and upon second inspection he is not human but also doesn't resemble any aliens they know. He's almost human with all the right organs in the same place and everything, but his blood is green and viscous and they aren't sure if half the organs are actually doing anything, etc. Also sometimes he references things from turn of the millennium earth as if he lived there himself which is wild

There's just a lot of crew interactions which I will not get into, but I would definitely find a way to bring Garak and Keiko into this, along with the main crew (by which I mostly mean Sisko, Jadzia, and Julien because I don't really know what Kira or Odo would have to say to Kenzaki)

This is interspersed with scenes of Hajime on a commercial transporter flying to deep space nine because he wants to go through the wormhole because he's super depressed and maybe going to the other side of the galaxy will help (it probably won't, but who knows. It's not like he's tried it before. Maybe there, he'll be far away enough he won't feel the constant urge lingering in the background to go find and kill his only surviving friend, the person he cares most about in the entire universe)

[sanarsi]

Controversially young girlfriend

post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel finally finds his brother. He's not too happy to hear how he got on with his life without him. But his brother is also not happy to meet his new partner - you. Or Joel fucks you to comfort you. Warnings: +18, MDNI, age gap (reader is 22, Joel is 56), soft!dom!Joel, maybe little angst, unprotected PIV, fingering, daddy kink, DAUGHTER ISSUES (pls it’s important), protective!Joel, no!Ellie AU, pet names (baby girl, kitty, daddy) Wordcount: 4,6k An: Soft Joel is definitely one of my favorites. It's a pleasure to write him that way. Music I worked with: Brooklyn Baby - Lana Del Rey

Masterlist

“Well…” Tommy started, looking away. His hand intertwined with the woman's hand next to him. “Maria is family, actually.”

There was silence.

The atmosphere became so thick that you felt uncomfortable even though you weren't part of their conversation. Joel's gaze was fixed on the hands of the couple next to him as if he was cursing them in every way. You noticed out of the corner of your eye how his jaw was clenching dangerously so you decided to save the situation before it became even more awkward.

“Congrats,” you said with a nice smile and they responded in kind.

But they didn't wait for your words.

They waited for Joel's words, but he still remained dangerously silent.

You looked at him, placing your hand on his in a comforting gesture. His fingers immediately tightened around yours as if they were the only thing that could save him.

“Joel, say congrats,” you murmured with an encouraging smile. You watched carefully as he clenched his jaw tighter, fighting with himself. His eyes finally fell on his brother and his partner.

There was a long silence again.

“Congrats,” a low voice cut through the silence like a knife. You wanted to roll your eyes at the way his words sounded. As if he wished them to fall out on the ice. So in Joel’s style...

You were surprised that his attitude towards the whole situation changed in just a few seconds. A moment ago he was hugging his brother with tears in his eyes and now he was looking at him with contempt. There was no positive emotion in his behaviour but you decided that you would ask him about everything when you were alone.

You squeezed his hand tighter as he leaned back, getting more comfortable. And it wouldn't be something special if that damn old man wasn't trying to show in this way his dominance.

This time you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his childish behavior. Grown up man.

Tommy and Maria exchanged knowing glances before he tried to break the awkward atmosphere.

“So…” he started with a smile, looking from you to Joel. “Are you two…” he started, pointing his finger at you. You immediately understood what he was trying to ask and you opened your mouth to answer him, but Joel was faster.

"Yes," he said coldly. You glanced at him as he continued to stare deadly at his brother. Tommy smiled awkwardly and nodded.

"He's annoying sometimes, isn't he?" he asked teasingly, wanting to relax the atmosphere. You chuckled, deciding that at least you, out of the two of you, would show some level of manners.

“Yeah, sometimes,” you nodded with a smile. Tommy quickly realized that he would rather talk to you than to his own brother. He smiled pleasantly at you, ignoring Joel's burning gaze.

"How did you meet?" he started, wanting to do a quick interview. And of course he wasn't doing it because you looked so damn young.

Too young…

You smiled wider, glancing out of the corner of your eye at Joel before you began to speak.

"Well... we happened to run into each other in the middle of nowhere," you said, feeling Joel start to gently stroke your hand with his thumb. A small gesture but it gave you a lot of comfort. “It won't come as a surprise that the first time we met, we pointed guns at each other,” you laughed softly at the memory. It seemed so irrational now. "But somehow he managed to convince me not to put a bullet in his head."

Joel finally glanced at you, and if it weren't for the whole situation, he would have started teasing you about what you said.

“He's been like my shadow ever since,” you finished saying and glanced at Joel, giving him a soft smile. His gaze immediately warmed. You were his weak spot and like a ray of sunshine, you warmed his broken soul. You were his cure.

Tommy noticed the way you were looking at each other and felt strangely uneasy. He hadn't seen Joel look at anyone like that since his daughter died. And he honestly didn't think it was a good thing.

"How old are you?" came the question from his mouth. Maria looked at him warningly, but it was too late. The words were spoken.

You looked at Tommy, smiling crookedly. You knew that your age was... a topic you preferred to avoid. Relationships with such an age difference were not perceived very well by other people.

“I-“ you started hesitantly.

"Twenty-two," Joel replied, looking intently at his brother. You swallowed, feeling a lump in your stomach as you heard Joel's confident voice. You tightened your fingers on his hand, searching for the comfort he immediately provided you.

For him, there was only you.

You and your comfort were his priority.

Tommy laughed nervously, his eyes darting between the two of you. He straightened up slowly and glanced at his partner as if she was about to tell him that it was all really a joke.

But no one else laughed. Maria looked at him knowingly, Joel looked at him deadly and you looked down. Everyone was dead serious and then Tommy couldn't stand it. He looked at everyone, getting more serious by the second.

“Are you fucking serious?” he finally asked in disbelief. He snorted dryly, focusing his full attention on Joel. You cringed slightly at his aggressive tone. His reaction didn't bode well and you honestly didn't want to witness it. “Joel, what the fuck?” he growled, pointing his hand at you. “She's twenty-two. She's a fucking child."

You blinked a few times, staring stubbornly at the discoloration on the table. Right now, anything was better than facing the situation that was happening.

But Joel was calm. At least that's what he appeared to be. He gently squeezed your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. And he didn't seem at all concerned about his brother's reaction.

"If Sarah were alive-"

"Don’t," Joel interrupted him firmly. Tommy fell silent, knowing he had said a few too many words. But he wasn't thinking about that now. He was too upset about what his brother was doing. He snorted dryly, spreading his hands helplessly.

“What are you doing exactly?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “You’re playing family with her? Playing her daddy?” he continued with increasing disgust. “Treating your daughter issues?” he added with venom.

Tears appeared in your eyes. Was your relationship really that disgusting in the eyes of others?

"She is younger than her, Joel" he said a little more calmly, trying to make his brother realize that what he was doing was wrong. Your eyes met Maria's. There was no compassion in her for this situation, she looked at you with compassion as if you were unaware of the harm that was affecting you. As if you were… just a stupid kid.

You shuddered because of the negative emotions that filled the table. This didn't go unnoticed by Joel. He knew he had allowed Tommy's offensive comments to go on too long.

"She's happy with me," he finally said, his voice a little hoarse. This time you shuddered because of him. “You don't have to worry about the rest. I'm not hurting her.” He straightened up slowly and squeezed your hand before letting you go. "We'll replenish our supplies and leave in the morning," he decided, moving away from the table. Tommy looked at him, not knowing what to say.

"Joel-"

"Thank you for the meal," he said politely to Maria and stood up. His contemptuous gaze was fixed on his brother as he extended his hand towards you.

“It was nice to meet you,” you said, smiling politely at her and then without thinking, you took Joel's hand. In the blink of an eye, a jacket appeared on your shoulders as you stepped outside. Without a word, you tried to keep up with Joel as you passed the others people.

He was furious, you were sure of that. That's why you were afraid to even breathe for several minutes. The snow crunched under your shoes as you passed each street. You had access to the house at the very end of the town, so you had a short walk ahead of you.

Eventually, Joel slowed down a bit. His shoulders stopped tensing and the crease between his eyebrows disappeared slightly.

“Not so great orientation meeting,” you said jokingly. Joel raised an eyebrow, glancing down at you. And even though his emotions were swirling inside him, the sight of your sweet, innocent smile immediately brought him peace.

He sighed heavily, looking away. “Yeah, not very successful,” he replied with a small smirk on his face.

You smiled wider when you saw his reaction. You loved that Joel was like this just with you. As if he couldn't feel negative emotions around you. He really couldn’t. You were his cure for everything.

The rest of the way was spent in silence until you stood on the porch of the last house on the street and Joel opened the door for you.

“Woah,” you sighed, looking around the house. “A house suitable for living. I’m in shock” you marveled as you slowly explored each room and Joel watched your every move. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, and quickly looked around the interior.

“Yeah, not bad,” he nodded, making you look at him in shock.

“Dude, it's awesome here,” you said, spreading your arms with a wide smile.

“Language” admonished you.

“Yeah, sorry,” you nodded and started exploring the house again.

You spent the entire evening washing away the dirt from several months. Only after the third time, the water was clear. You sat staring at the water as Joel washed your hair once again. You didn't ask him for it, but you never had to ask him for anything. If he could, he would start breathing for you. It may have amounted to obsession.

But who could stop him? More than one has tried to take you away from him. And they all ended their lives.

Who could blame him? If he had to, he would kill everyone in the world, everyone infected, just to keep you safe.

"Can I ask you something?" you spoke up, breaking the silence.

“Anything,” he replied, automatically washing the ends of your hair thoroughly.

“You promise you won't be mad?”

“I can't be mad at you.”

And it was true. Even though you knew it, you still felt stressed. Joel was…allergic to certain topics and you completely respected that. But after today, you couldn't and didn't want to stay silent.

“How old would Sarah be now?” you asked quietly. His movements stopped for a few seconds, as did your heart. But Joel didn't let you live in uncertainty for long. He slowly started washing your hair again and sighed softly. You knew that this topic wasn't very pleasant for him, so you honestly spat in your face for needing to know the answer to a few questions.

"Thirty-two," he replied without much emotion.

You swallowed hard, realizing that Tommy was right. You were too fucking young for him.

His daughter would be ten years older than you.

His daughter.

And you were his… who? Girlfriend? Now that sounded pathetic.

You wrapped your arms around your knees tighter, resting your chin on them and remaining silent. You've never thought about it all this way.

Joel was always… good for you.

True, he had his weaknesses, but who didn't? His wounds didn't bother you. After all, you fell in love with him. With all his flaws.

"You're silent," he noted after a few minutes of silence.

This conversation was not in his favor, but he knew that there were reactions going on in your head that shouldn't be there. And he knew he had to make sure nothing stupid got into your head.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, starting to slowly rinse the lather from your hair. The warm water ran down your back, making you shiver with pleasure.

“I just… think,” you shrugged. Joel sighed heavily and you knew very well what that meant.

"Baby-"

"Do you think Tommy's right?" you interrupted him before he could get going.

"About?" he asked, squeezing the excess water from your hair. You straightened up, looking at him over your shoulder. You were upset by everything you heard and he couldn't bear it. He couldn't stand that his own brother had put you in such a state. A state of doubt.

Joel moved closer to you, groaning softly as he knelt by the tub. You watched his tired face with those innocent eyes of yours.

“Listen, baby girl…” he started and touched your cheek gently. “I'm not going to lie to you…Tommy's god damn right,” he nodded, and more emotions immediately appeared in your eyes.

Fear? Surprise? Uncertainty? Or maybe all at once.

Despite his words, he smiled at you, stroking your jaw tenderly. “I'm too damn old for you,” he laughed, following the movements of his fingers with his eyes. His worn hands against your silky skin.

Two contradictions.

“Fuck…” he sighed with a helpless smile and trailed his fingers down to your neck. “Baby, you are like a blooming flower. Young, beautiful, innocent," he said dreamily. "While I am a dried bush overgrown with weeds for a long time."

“You are not,” you denied, frowning in sadness. Joel smiled fondly at your words and stroked your cheek with his thumb. You unconsciously hugged to his hand. A warm, rough hand that brought you a sense of security.

“So what am I in your eyes?” he asked, looking at you with tenderness. You were so damn delicate that sometimes he was afraid he would break you.

“You are like a big oak tree at the very top of the hill,” you said with a soft smile. A smile that was intended only for him. “Your crown provides shade and shelter in the summer,” you continued, looking closely at every detail on his face. "And in winter your branches scare away all those who didn’t rest under you in summer."

His heart tightened in his chest as he listened to your words. In your eyes, Joel was a completely different person. In your eyes, he was good.

“You would be a good poet,” he replied, shaking his head with a smile. You watched as he slowly stood up, groaning at the slightest movement.

Good old oak.

“Get your ass out of it cause I want to wash up too,” he looked down at you with a smirk before walking out of the bathroom.

A few hours later you were lying in bed.

A soft bed.

A clean bed.

And yet you couldn't sleep.

You stared at the blank wall and thought about everything and nothing. Joel was long asleep. At least that's what you thought. You didn't know because you hadn't turned to face him since he laid down in bed. His calm breathing was the only thing you could focus on. No other sounds. You were... safe. This was rare.

So why did you feel so… bad?

Why his calm breathing didn’t bring you comfort like it always did?

Why you felt like you were in the wrong place?

Why-

“You've been silent for several hours,” Joel's hoarse voice brought you out of your thoughts. “It wouldn't be weird if you were sleeping, but you are not,” he continued, and the mattress behind you sagged under his weight. His arm wrapped around your waist as he leaned in, nuzzling your ear. “So are you finally going to tell me what this is about?” he whispered, sending shivers down your entire body. Your pulse immediately quickened at his proximity.

Then came a gentle kiss behind the ear.

And then on the neck.

And then his arm tightened around you, pulling you closer to his heated chest.

“I was sleeping,” you said quietly, hoping to avoid the conversation.

“Liar,” he whispered into your ear, his warm breath reverberating through your body in an inappropriate way. “Come on, baby girl,” he nuzzled you encouragingly. "Spit it out."

You lay there struggling with yourself for a while. You didn't want to talk about it now. You didn't want to talk about it at all. But something inside made you ask the question that was floating around in your head like a virus.

“If you think Tommy is right, then why-”

“Because I love you,” he interrupted you, knowing very well what your question would be. Even if he didn't know, there was one answer. “Because I can't imagine being where I am now without you.”

You fell silent, letting his words permeate the space around you. You believed him. Always and in everything. You pursed your lips into a line, wondering for the first time if you were stupid enough to trust him blindly with everything.

For the first time you doubted him.

“They looked at me like I was stupid for trusting you,” you whispered, huddling deeper under the blanket. Joel sighed softly and turned you towards him. You stared at his chest, not wanting to look at him. You were ridiculed just because you were young.

“Hey, baby, look at me,” he said gently, running his fingers down your cheek to your chin to force you to look up.

You were sad.

He hated when you were sad.

His sunshine couldn't hide behind the clouds.

“You're not stupid, you understand?” he started, looking at you seriously. You wanted to look away but he wouldn't let you. "Understand?" he repeated more firmly. You nodded weakly, but that was enough for him. “I'm the problem, not you,” he spoke softly, stroking your cheek gently. “I'm not a good person and they know it,” he smiled gently, wanting to reassure you. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. "I've done a lot of bad things you've never even heard of." He slowly traced your cheek until he finally removed his hand only to place it on your hip. “But you… You are good.” He pressed his fingers lightly against your skin and then moved down to your thigh. “And someone as good as you shouldn't be with someone as bad as me,” he explained and slowly pulled your leg on top of him.

“But-“

“Your age is just something they can pick on,” he answered your question before it left your mouth. You fell silent, feeling the warmth on your cheeks as his hand slowly began to stroke your thigh. “They don't believe that someone like you is with me by choice and not by force,” he explained with a soft smile on his lips as his hand moved up, sneaking under your shirt to your waist. “They explain everything using my trauma. And the fact is, maybe there is a fatherly instinct in me. But thanks to this, I can take care of you the way you need it.” His words crept into your head just as he wanted them to. You were fascinated by him. You looked at him again like you always did.

As if there was only him in the whole world.

That look healed another piece of his soul each time.

He couldn't lose you.

Even at the cost of his own brother.

“And the fact that you kissed me first was just an added bonus. I'm just a man and you knew exactly what to do to make me weak for you" he added with a smirk and you snorted under your breath. Your reaction was enough to make his heart beat faster. And the happiness in your eyes only ignited it.

He leaned towards you, nuzzling his nose against yours. You closed your eyes with a blissful smile.

“They may think you're stupid for me, but the truth is, I'm stupid for you,” he whispered before gently pressing his lips to yours. The warmth of his lips and the roughness of his beard warmed your heart. He kissed you gently and slowly. He always did it slowly. Enjoying every second of the closeness you gave him. He didn't know how many moments like this he had left so he enjoyed everything you gave him.

The softness of your lips.

The gentleness of your hands.

The sweetness of your moans.

His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer until there was no space between you. Your hands came to his cheeks as he slowly deepened the kiss. Even in the kiss he could feel how delicate you were.

Joel was already too destroyed by life for his lips to taste like yours. But that's how you liked him. With heavy touch, rough beard, chapped lips and tired eyes. And all this with a pinch of love he had for you.

You moaned into his mouth as he pulled your hips closer to his. How could you not fall for him when he was perfect for you?

“Let me take care of you, baby girl,” he whispered against your lips and moved his hips gently, grinding against you. Your breath shuddered as he brushed against your pussy. Without thinking, you nodded.

“Okay,” your whisper disappeared into his mouth as he kissed you again. He ran his hand down your back to your ass until he disappeared between your thighs.

You moaned sweetly as he ran his fingers over your wet slit. He loved how wet you were for him. Always.

You made him feel like a man again.

You let him take care of you in every sense of the word. You trusted him. And this time he wasn't going to make the same mistake.

His fingers slowly dipped into your hole, triggering another moan that disappeared into his mouth. He slowly started fucking you with his fingers. Gently and with love. Takes his time with you.

You breathed heavily into his mouth, purring every now and then in contentment at his gentle touch. He experienced it with you, drinking everything from your lips.

“You're always ready for me,” he purred contentedly and rubbed the bulge in his boxers against your clit. You whimpered softly. “Such a good girl,” he nuzzled against yours and placed a kiss on the tips of your lips. You felt the muscles in your lower abdomen begin to tense with every movement of his finger.

And suddenly his fingers disappeared. You gasped, feeling the sudden emptiness. His hand disappeared between your bodies only to take out his ready cock. He ran his hand along his entire length a few times, placing another kiss on your cheek.

“Don’t worry, daddy will take care of you,” he whispered, running his tip over your slit and then dipping into you a moment later. You gasped, closing your eyes and letting him wrap his arms around your waist.

He pulled you closer, impaling you with his cock. He shuddered as he buried himself inside you. You always welcomed him with warmth and wetness. You clenched around him at the feeling of being filled.

“She's happy to see me,” he said happily, placing a trail of kisses along your jaw. He wrapped his arm tightly around your hips and slowly began to move inside you. His movements were negligible. He pulled out of you only a few inches only to come back in again. These lazy movements were beyond perfect. You felt him perfectly and constantly. Just like you should.

You moaned, tightening your leg around his hip to get even closer. To make it even deeper. His lips were on your neck, placing wet kisses inch by inch. And all you could do was melt in his embrace. Every lazy movement of his hips stimulated you non-stop. Your soft moans filled the room and his heart. He loved hearing you sing for him.

He kept thrusting into you, keeping the perfect pace. Zero breaks in stimulating your pussy. Lazy sex was definitely one of your favorites. The constant closeness you had then was something that made you forget for a moment that the world around you existed. His lips returned to yours, inviting you into a deep kiss. Perfectly coordinated from the very beginning. From the first moment your lips met.

“I love making love to you,” he whispered against your lips. All you could do in response was pull him in for a kiss again. The pleasure you felt between your legs, your heart and your soul made a single tear roll down your cheek.

Fuck, how could you ever give up on this man? The old oak tree under whose care you blossomed.

His fingers dug into your skin and his movements were more decisive. He continued to move lazily inside you, only to enter hard until the very end. You breathed heavily into his mouth, keeping your hands firmly on his cheeks. Your gasps and moans mixed together in perfect harmony.

“Fuck, dad-“ you trailed off as he thrust into you hard once again.

“Yes, baby girl, come on my cock,” he gasped, feeling your slit becoming more and more reluctant to let him come out of you. This was the only time he started fighting with you.

He held your hips tightly, trying to keep the same pace even though you weren't making it easy for him.

“Don't fight it kitty,” he said with a smile. You laughed softly against his lips and started moving your hips to help him. Your movements made him look forward to fulfillment as well. You both moved your hips in sync, moaning into each other's mouths.

“Daddy’s gonna fill you up, okay?” he gasped, feeling his movements become sloppier than he would have liked.

“Mhm,” you murmured, holding on to his neck like a lifeline. Joel began to moan louder and louder into your mouth, feeling his orgasm slowly approaching like a wave of fire. You sped up your hip movements, feeling him start to slow down. You had to catch up with him.

“Oh, fuck… Fuck,” he groaned in pleasure as he came inside you. His orgasm was like a rag to a bull for you. You rolled your hips a few more times before you came, panting heavily. You shuddered, moving your hips one more time before you collapsed, looking up at him, satisfied.

He watched you in silence, and the sight of your face after your orgasm was definitely one of his favorites. He leaned towards you, stealing a gentle kiss. His thumb stroked your cheek as if you were made of porcelain. His arms wrapped around you tightly, pulling you to his chest as he covered your bodies with the blanket. You snuggled into him, listening to his heartbeat as he stroked your hair gently.

"You know... you may be too old for me, but you're still doing pretty well," you admitted, and he laughed quietly.

"Yeah?" he asked, amused.

“Yeah,” you nodded with a smile. Joel leaned down to press a kiss to your head in response to your teasing. You were perfect. And you were his.

[bestfluteninja]

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[hwaflms]

HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

———————————————————————

[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

———————————————————————

six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair,"  it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but  when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

[sxcret-garden]

Ateez Reaction ღ Asking them to teach you how to fuck [M]

ღ Ateez all members x fem-bodied!reader ღ genre: smut reaction (best friend!Ateez x inexperienced reader), (implied) friends to fwb/friends to lovers in one part ღ warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption

Author’s note: This is definitely not what I had planned to write today but oh well :’) I hope you guys enjoy~

Edit: This is labelled as having a fem-bodied!reader, but Yeosang's, San's, Mingi's and Jongho's parts also work with a gn!reader (I changed the wording slightly for two of those parts to make them gn, cause the original versions weren't very far away from that) - Yunho's part is technically gn too, but i think one line of it makes no sense if reader is imagined to be male bodied!

Hongjoong:

when one day you somewhat shyly ask him if he would teach you how to please a guy he’s definitely surprised

but it’s also not like he sees a problem with friends hooking up? i mean - y’all know each other well and trust each other, so having sex shouldn’t be an issue

teaches you everything you wanted to know and then some more, until suddenly you can barely even remember that other guy who made you feel like you needed to practice so much anymore

he’ll be gentle with you, seeing how you don’t have much experience yet, and somehow he’ll end up pleasuring you first to help you relax

only when you’re about to cum on his fingers does he stop for a second to consider whether it’s really okay to go this far with you

but you’re enjoying yourself, and now you’re whining for him to keep going, so that’s what he does

makes you cum and then lets you rest for a bit, before he starts guiding your hands down his body

praises you for everything you do and gently nudges you in the right direction, until you have him cumming into your fist - but he won’t stop there

there’s just something insanely hot to him about having full control over what you do to him as he gives you instructions, and this is definitely also awakening some kind of corruption kink deep inside him

eventually you end up on top of him as he guides you down his cock and into a steady rhythm, having you ride him

and of course this becomes a regular thing between the two of you, both keeping up the pretense that you’re still just “practicing”, when really there’s a carnal need growing inside both of you that makes you always come back to each other for more

Seonghwa:

the first time you bring it up to him that you’ve been wondering if he could help you practice having sex he feels conflicted to say the least

of course he wants to help you!! but this is about having sex with one of his best friends, and he doesn’t know if he wants to cross that line with you

but at the same time it’s also apparent that your question is affecting him when you can see his ears turn red, and eventually he has to get out of there for a second to get himself a glass of water sakdfjlks

“So is that a yes?” you ask him when he comes back, and he almost spits the water back out aksdljfkjsd

“I-I’ll have to think about it, Y/N…” he somehow manages to stutter, before he forcibly changes topic

he needs a few days to calm down about this, but once some time has passed he figures it’s probably not a big issue if he helped you out a bit, right?

you agree on a few rules like no kissing, no actual intercourse, but he’s willing to let you touch him otherwise

and so you decide to start slow, with a simple handjob, and he actually finds himself enjoying the way he can tell you what to do, gently push you in the right direction, plus the sight of having your hands wrapped around his cock just does something very sinful to him - so it’s no surprise that you don’t have any trouble making him cum

but now he feels the need to pay you back, and so you let him finger you, and his skillful touches throw you over the edge in no time

you do this a few times, until eventually you find yourselves growing more needy, and you end up sucking him off while he eats you out, quietly turning it into a game of who can make the other cum faster in your mind

needless to say, now that you started casually hooking up you won’t be stopping anytime soon

Yunho:

he is SOSO flustered when you first ask him about whether he could teach you a bit about sex the first time and immediately says no aksjdklfsk

“Y/N, we’re just friends… shouldn’t you do that with an actual boyfriend?”

but you insist, admitting that you feel embarrassed about how inexperienced you are, and of course this guy reassures you that you’re fine the way you are, and once the right guy comes along he will surely be understanding with you

and as much as you want to believe his words, your insecurities prevail, until eventually you find an agreement that you can at least come ask him about stuff if you feel unsure about something so he could give you a verbal explanation

and you take him up on that offer pretty soon, simply because you’re curious kasjflkasdj

so when one day you ask him out of the blue whether guys prefer getting handjobs or blowjobs he’s a blushing mess first of all

“W-well, it depends on the guy…?” - so you ask him what he prefers and now he’s visibly uncomfortable

but he figures you’re just curious, so he tells you about how both is nice, it really depends on his mood, but he probably prefers a simple handjob most of the time

he loosens up a bit eventually, and as you continue talking about the topic and you ask him all kinds of questions, neither of you can deny that it’s affecting you

except nothing really happens afterwards, because you know he wouldn’t want to overstep that boundary

it’s only until a little later, when you’re both drunk at a party and he suddenly pulls you aside to tell you that he hasn’t been able to think about anything but what it would be like to have sex with you

and well, you pressing your body up against his does nothing to deflate that situation, and so you disappear in the nearest room where it’s just the two of you, and in no time clothes are flying off and your hands are all over each other

but despite the desperation that the both of you are feeling, he’s still careful with you, taking the lead as you spend the rest of the night fucking in that room

Yeosang:

he has no idea how to react when you ask him to teach you how to fuck, so it’s just awkward silence for a few moments

until he offers to treat you to a few hours with a sex worker instead ksajdflkjs

and well, that’s not exactly what you had in mind, because the point of you asking him was that he’s someone who’s known you for a long time and who knows you well

“Ahhh, I see… then sorry that I can’t be who you want me to be, but no.” (why does he have to say it so dramatically fksdjkfas)

you’re of course a bit disappointed, but it’s not like you don’t understand him - not everyone would want to cross that line with a friend - so you leave it at that for now

until one evening you’re together at your place, and you can tell something’s off about him - he seems fidgety and like he’s anxious about something, so eventually you decide to ask what’s up

and he doesn’t really want to give you an answer at first, but eventually he manages to force out an explanation

“Just… what you said to me a few days ago… I thought about it again… and maybe we can try it after all?” - you two talk a lot so it takes you a while to understand what he’s hinting at, but once you do, you’re immediately by his side

you reach for his hand as you’re sitting side by side, and somehow both your nerves are making it hard to do anything

“S-so… how do we start? Do we kiss?” he asks, and you agree that that might be a good idea, and weirdly enough as soon as your lips meet his and you fall into an unhurried pace, both your anxieties seem to be washed away

you get into his lap, and somehow you both just end up following your instincts, only breaking the kiss to tell each other what feels good, and then eventually in order to moan at the way you dry humping him is about to get the both of you off

you’re taking this very slow, but it becomes a regular thing for you to meet up in order to have sex from then on, both exploring and learning about each other’s body as you go

San:

another one who feels very conflicted the first time you bring it up to him

he doesn’t think mere friends should be doing this kind of thing with each other, but at the same time he can’t say he isn’t tempted

he says no at first, but the days after he just can’t stop thinking about you naked, on top of him, underneath him, you name it

until these thoughts start to haunt him in his dreams too, and he knows he can’t possibly be normal around you anymore if he doesn’t do anything about this

so he decides to help you out after all, under the premise that you won’t have any actual intercourse

instead, he teaches you how he likes to be touched with hands only, and eventually he also lets you suck him off

tells you exactly what to do that would drive any guy insane, gives you advice in between moans and at some point he will start rambling, until his high is coming so close that his train of thought just cuts off

and once he sees the state he put you in after cumming in your mouth - your glazed over eyes, his seed dripping down your lips before you lick it all up and swallow - he just can’t help himself anymore

“Shit, Y/N, let me fuck you, please,” he mutters, desperation in his voice

and as soon as you give him the okay this guy will be all over you, being rougher than you’d have expected him to be, fucking you as he’s led only by his instincts and his need to feel the warmth of being inside you

Mingi:

he’s another one who isn’t opposed to having sex with a good friend

actually, he feels a weird sense of relief when you ask him if you could practice with him, because he feels very comfortable with you and so he knows he too will be able to let go quickly

you start slow anyway, because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you - seeing how you don’t have much experience yet - and so he’s even more surprised when you reach for his dick pretty quickly

you ask if what you’re doing is good, and as you’re giving him a few strokes this guy is hard in no time

will put his hand onto yours to guide you into the pace he likes, but very soon he’ll simply leave it up to you, wanting to know exactly what you would do to him if he doesn’t interfere

and soon enough his sanity will start to slip away, and when he starts bucking his hips into your hand the dynamic shifts ever so slightly, because suddenly you don’t seem so inexperienced anymore at all as you dare to tease him about how needy he is

lets you make him cum onto his stomach, before you call it quits for the day, but you’ll be sure to come back for more soon

he’ll let you get him off in all kinds of ways, until eventually you two start experimenting with anything and everything you’re curious about, all under the premise of “practice”

and soon he too will feel the need to return the favour and get you off too, learning all about how your body reacts to his touch, and figuring out together what feels best for you

you’re gonna spend whole weekends at his place just fucking, and in no time you basically know each other’s bodies like the back of your own hand

and it’s more than likely that in the process this guy actually falls in love with you, and even though it’s still a whiiiile until he actually finds the courage to tell you that, he will make damn sure you won’t even think about wandering off to someone else

“You’re mine, Y/N,” - the words will repeatedly slip past his lips as he’s fucking you, and surely enough they do something to you too

Wooyoung:

you two tend to be very touchy to begin with - even though you’re definitely not in love he gives you kisses on the cheeks or your neck all the time, and when you’re having a sleepover you can be sure it will include a good amount of cuddling

so when one day he’s spooning you, focused on drawing random patterns on the skin on your arm, and you tell him that you’ve been thinking whether he would be okay with showing you how to properly please a guy he isn’t put off by the idea at all - though he is a little surprised, both because he was of the impression you had a lot more experience than you do, and because he didn’t think you’d ever consider him the right person to come to with a favour like this (like????? who else would be a better person??????)

and this guy is so gentle and respectful with you - he’ll ask exactly what you want him to show you, what you want him to do, will ask before whatever he does whether you’re okay with it or not,...

you just end up having really sweet sex as you help each other out of your clothes and you both get a little distracted worshipping each other’s body

there will be a lot of giggling as you slowly figure out what the other likes and what not, until you end up flat on your back, with his head between your legs, and suddenly all that light-hearted curiousity turns into a deep passion

he eats you out and makes you cum on his tongue multiple times, eager to please you and to see how many more of those sinful moans and whimpers he can draw out of you

until finally you grab him by the hair and pull him away so he would give you a break to catch your breath and to remind him that he was supposed to teach you how to do this stuff

“You asked me how to please a guy,” he replies. “This is how you please this guy right here.” - at this point he is absolutely pussy drunk, there’s no going back for him

will offer to get you off every single time you have a sleepover from now on (and mysteriously the amount of sleepovers you have is suddenly increasing drastically), but he will also exert some amount of self control beforehand and let you get him off too, before he makes you feel good

Jongho:

the first time you very awkwardly hint at him that you’ve been wondering if he’d be willing to teach you how to fuck he simply laughs

until he realizes you weren’t joking

panics internally as all the times he’s gotten off while thinking of you flash him by and he somehow manages to tell you that you’re just friends and you should really reconsider this!!!

he never actually gives you a proper answer on that day, and neither of you bring it up until like two weeks later

you’re both chilling with your phones in your hands, having made yourselves comfortable on his bed as you often do when you’re at his place, when he suddenly speaks up

“So… do you still want me to… teach you a few things?” he asks, not taking his eyes off his phone, and you can feel the nervousness radiating off of him - but as soon as you say yes that mood instantly gets replaced with confidence

“Then come here.” - he goes slow to figure out what you’re okay with and what not, but when you throw your arms around him once he starts scattering kisses in your neck as he hovers above you, he knows he can’t hold back anymore

gets you off with his hand first, before he guides yours to his cock and shows you exactly how he wants you to return the favour

“Wanna go all the way? Cause I’ve been thinking about this…” he admits, and when you say yes he doesn’t spare you any details

tells you about what he wants to do to you, and lets you decide which of his fantasies you want to recreate, until you end up in all kinds of positions, having him fucking one orgasm after the other out of you, until it becomes clear you’re getting tired and you really can’t take any more

you’re both very awkward after this, to the point you act weird around each other even in front of your other friends, who start wondering whether you had a fight

but as things calm down between the two of you, you meet up again at his place

you decided prior to that that what happened several days ago was a one time thing, and you wouldn’t do it again

or so you thought, because as soon as you find yourselves side by side on his bed again, neither of you can deny that the only thing you’re thinking about is continuing where you had left off last time

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

TADC: Thoughts on Jax in Episode 2

Thoughts on Jax after Amazing Digital Circus Episode 2 Dropped.

Massive spoilers below the cut. Just watch the ep before you read.

Amazing Digital Circus had an amazing second episode as we're introduced more to what the adventures are like, and what NPCs are like and ofc the existential horror of being a living AI only created for a source of entertainment.

Also, I love the dream sequence at the beginning, because we actually get some deeper insight into Pomni's thoughts on Ragatha. Feeling like her helpfulness is the guise of like "man, you're not cut out for this like the rest of us" which is typically something a lot of people who have been bullied in highschool perceive genuine acts of kindness and engagement. (which I kind of suspect Pomni might have been, or at least, been a shut-in and didn't have a lot of friends in her human life. )

Jax wasn't really the main focus of the episode, but it wasn't really until the end of the episode I understood his behavior and what this episode is foreshadowing overall.

Since while Jax isn't the focus emotionally, he is definitely the plot device to push things forward. And I mean, a plot device in a very active and quite literal way. He's the one that causes Pomni to clip out of the map, takes advantage of everyone and is just... genuinely an unpleasant person.

I actually really like this.

As, I know the first episode in the digital circus, many people (me included) could perceive or analyze Jax's actions as someone who is "helping" in a roundabout asshole way. Episode Two has none of that here. He just wants Bloodshed, And I love that we're getting additional context on his character.

It's hard to tell how much fan reception Gooseworx saw of episode one before episode two hit production, so I don't know how much of the fandom perception of Jax had an influence on the writing process, but I can't deny that might have been a factor in assuring us "no he's not secretly helpful, he's just an asshole" But I'm just going to assume that this has been part of his characterization from the start and it becomes way more clear as the episode goes on.

But there was something in his behavior throughout this whole episode that seemed off to me. Like Jax was taking up a majority of the B-plot, while Pomni had the A-plot. So I was wondering why Jax seemed to be the protagonist with the B-plot when Pomni was the A-plot when they seemed to be so disconnected with eachother in motivations and telling us things about the characters.

But then it hit me when the episode ended and the two plots merged together.

"who... knows... what could happen..."

And then it hit me.

Pomni finds comfort in an NPC who is going through a similar experience to her and can emphasize, despite their being other humans who have gone through the same thing, due to her self-admitting to being a loner in her human life. Well, she didn't admit it outright, but from how she perceives Ragatha's kindness as an act, or patronizing, it seems like she doesn't have a lot of friends...

Meanwhile... Jax... He treats the adventure like a videogame. Why shouldn't he? He's trapped in a videogame, right? But it really goes beyond that.

The fellow humans that Jax is trapped with, he treats THEM like they're NPCs, while Pomni treats the NPC like they're human.

Jax says to Gangle "Aren't you supposed to be the suggestible one?" Which you wouldn't typically wouldn't say to a person, right? That's something you would say more about a character that you maxed out the dialogue trees in.

He calls Pomni "His Bridge" even.

They're his objects. His tools, his own npcs he's exhausted the dialogue options on.

Jax dehumanizes the players in a way that Pomni humanizes the NPCS.

These are two opposite ends of the spectrum but what really sold it for me was Jax's reaction to the funeral.

And Jax is the one member out of the cast who doesn't even show up to the funeral. (aside from Caine and Bubble but they are AI.)

He does NOT want to think about the Players as real people. And showing that opposite perspective compared to Pomni I think is much as important going forward.

Jax was the plot catalyst of this entire episode, and served the thematic theme of the episode quite well, even if it didn't look like it on first glance.

I absolutely loved this episode and I can't wait for more.

Also... Poor Pomni can't have shit in Detroit

[lustspren]

P.S.T EP. 13 | Vultures ft Karina, Giselle.

length: 16k words ✦

Karina, Giselle & Male Reader

genres: footjob, titjob, anal, anal creampie, thighjob, ass eating, pussy eating, facial, hard sex, blowjob, friends competition (?, kinda daddy kink (?

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The nights you spent with Jimin still had their aftereffects on you. The morning after your date with ITZY you woke up with complete certainty that she was going to be by your side, but what you found was a completely empty side of the bed. It's not like it affected you emotionally, but it was a strange feeling.

The first thing you did when you woke up was pick up your phone and write to the ITZY girls. You told them that you had a lot of fun and that you appreciated the surprise, but that you were excited to actually catch up with them. You did not receive a response at that time. In Korea it was around 10 at night, so they were probably watching a movie or taking baths. Be that as it may, you sat up and rubbed your eyes, staring at the desk chair in front of you, mentally preparing yourself for the start of the day.

After gathering enough willpower, you reluctantly got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. You took a quick shower, five minutes more than enough to freshen up. You got out of the shower and brushed your teeth. Once cleaned, you dressed without any rush: you put on a black and gold Fred Perry sweater that Ryujin had given you, some khaki shorts, and the only pair of shoes you hadn't worn until now: black strappy leather sandals. wide, fastened to the ankle by a buckle.

Being ready, you didn't bother putting on perfume. Was not necessary to. You just combed your hair so you didn't look like a bum and grabbed your things before leaving your room. You headed to Jimin's room, where she and the rest of the girls were sleeping. When you arrived at the corresponding floor, you found a pleasant surprise at the end of the hallway: Jihye was already approaching the door to open it, but stopped when she saw you walking towards her.

The smile that formed on her face was certainly something new for you, but it was priceless. She was so pretty that she dazzled you, and the tracksuit jacket rolled up made her look even more attractive. But it didn't end there: she also ran towards you with small steps to hug you around your waist. You hugged her, surrounding her head.

"Good morning! How did you sleep, honey?"

She looked up at you. You looked down, meeting that pair of pretty, round eyes.

“Good morning, boss,” you smiled back. "Oh, pretty good, actually. What about you?"

She looked at a point in nothingness as she thought about it.

"Not really good. I felt kind of weird, I don't know."

She let go of you and you let go of her, but you maintained the closeness between the two of you.

"Mmm, that sucks. I felt that way too a few days ago."

"And you fixed it?"

"I mean, yeah. I think it was just because I had a lot of thoughts flying around in my head."

Jihye nodded, perhaps realizing that this was the case for her as well.

"Well, I just hope it doesn't happen again tonight. I'm the last one who can afford to sleep badly," she sighed.

“I can keep you company if you want,” you laughed.

You had said it as a friendly joke, but Jihye tilted her head as if thinking about it.

"Would you do that?"

You frowned and leaned your ear closer to confirm if you had heard correctly.

"Huh?"

"Huh?" she repeated with a couple of quick blinks. "Uh… nothing, listen, it's best if you don't give the girls any details about last night. And definitely don't bring up the hook up thing."

You looked at her with half-lidded eyes, still turning over in your head what you thought you heard just a few seconds ago. Since she had already changed the subject, you had no choice but to let it go.

"Don't worry, everything stays between you and me," you nodded, trying to reassure her.

"Very well, thank you. Come on, let's take a look in the lion's den," she gestured toward the door.

You let her take the lead. Jihye opened the door and you both found the room dark. The only light that came in was filtered through the closed curtains, which was barely enough to see the girls. The four of them were curled up next to each other in bed, peacefully asleep like four little angels.

"Fuck, I wouldn't want to have to wake them up," Jihye whispered. "Look at them."

Taking advantage of your moment of distraction while watching the girls, Jihye pricked the back of your hand with her nails. Inevitably, you let out a grunt of complaint and stepped away with a stomp hard enough to make the girls shift on the bed.

You frowned at Jihye, rubbing the back of your hand. The girls in front of you opened their eyes to look at you, each one more upset than the other.

"Wasn't there a more subtle way to do that?" you asked in annoyance.

"Don't be whiny, it was just a little prick," Jihye replied. "Besides, it worked."

Jimin was the first to sit up, leaning on her elbows. She watched you rub your hand with a frown and then looked from her to Jihye.

"What have you done to him?" she asked.

"You wouldn't want her to have woken you up the traditional way, would you?"

Jimin sighed and shook her head, sitting up on the bed. Aeri followed her, but Minjeong and Ning remained lying down as they watched you.

"No, that's perfect. Thank you."

"Okay, now that you're awake..."

Jihye got up to turn on the light in the room, causing them all to squeal at the glare. You couldn't help but chuckle. Minjeong and Ning hid under the sheet for a few seconds before coming back into the light. Jihye didn't care in the slightest, she sat on the bottom edge of the bed to watch them. You walked over to the couch in front of the window and started looking at your phone.

"Do you have any particular plans for today?"

They looked at each other and shook their heads, then looked back at Jihye.

"Great, because I had some ideas for spending the day together, if that's okay."

They looked at each other again, but this time they nodded.

“Sure, sounds good,” nodded Jimin, who then looked at you, “Did she rip a piece of skin off your hand?”

You looked up from your phone to see her and Jihye.

"Almost."

“Crybaby,” she stuck her tongue out at you and looked at the girls. "Take your time getting ready, okay? We'll meet you in the lobby. Put on comfortable clothes."

"Don't tell me to take my time because then I'll go back to sleep," Minjeong said.

"You do that and you will stay alone in the hotel. Maximum one hour."

"But you just said..."

“I changed my mind,” Jihye stood up with an innocent smile and walked towards the door, but not before turning to look at you. "You come?"

"Sure."

You stood up and kissed all the girls on the forehead before leaving with Jihye. You two went to the hotel's coffee bar, sat down at one of the tables near the back and waited for the girls, who arrived surprisingly quickly. Everyone was already dressed and ready to start the day.

You had a quick and light breakfast, accompanied by lattes. After finishing eating, Jihye prepared to share with you the agenda that she had planned for the day: first you would go to the aquarium, then to the botanical gardens, go with you to buy souvenirs for the ITZY girls and, finally, go to a discreet bar where no one would recognize them, only if they were up for it.

"I'm excited to go to the botanical gardens," Jimin said with a little smile. "I saw some photos and it looks beautiful."

"The aquarium too!" Ning said, looking at Jimin. "I sent you some photos, did you look at them?" Jimin nodded excitedly.

"And I'll definitely need that drink if I'm going to spend the whole day with you," Aeri joked, as she drank the last of her coffee.

The general atmosphere was good, everyone was excited to go sightseeing. But unlike the others, Minjeong seemed confused. Soon she would bring some discomfort to the table.

"Why do we have to help him shop for ITZY?" She looked at Jihye. "I mean, I'm sure he'll need our help, but I don't know how that's our problem."

All her eyes were directed towards her, Jihye's in particular did not look at all happy with that comment. She leaned across the table towards her.

"Don't be ungrateful, Kim Minjeong. Hasn't he taken good care of you throughout this tour? I'm sure at this point he deserves a favor or two from you."

Jihye's tone was stern and threatening. Aeri couldn't help but laugh at Minjeong's puppy face as she was scolded.

"Noze's right, you're being a bitch, Minjeongie. I'm more than happy to help. Plus, it's the perfect opportunity for me to shop too."

Jimin also took Jihye's side. She looked at Minjeong with obvious annoyance on her face.

"You're going whether you like it or not, girl. He deserves it."

Ning also jumped to your defense.

"Yeah, be grateful!"

Minjeong sank into her seat, crossing her arms and frowning. You, meanwhile, felt like a child caught in the crossfire of the argument between divorcing parents. However, you appreciated the way everyone took that stance. You didn't think Minjeong said that with bad intentions. Deep down, you knew she was just as good a person as the other three, but she was without a doubt an expert at being a spoiled brat.

When you were all ready you got up from the table and got ready to leave. Jihye still had the man who brought them from the bar the night before, who was in charge of taking them to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. Before getting out of the car, Jihye recommended that everyone put on masks and caps to hide their identity. In your case it was not necessary, but you agreed so that they would not feel uncomfortable.

As soon as you entered the gardens, Jimin linked her arm with yours and pressed herself against you.

"You’re coming with me, champ. We have a date pending."

This is how the small groups were formed. Minjeong made sure to leave with Ning for fear of being left alone with Jihye, who was paired up with Aeri. At first the six of you walked together, but soon you went your separate ways as you all wanted to see different things.

You had an amazing time with Jimin. For most of the walk all you did was take pictures and laugh like a couple of nuts. You didn't talk about anything interesting or momentous at all, you just made very stupid and childish jokes. Anyone who saw you saw a couple of immature, but happy teenagers.

After about two hours, you all met again at the entrance to the gardens. You shared the things you had seen and the photos you had taken, and set off towards the aquarium. As soon as you arrived, Ning was the one who pulled you next to her.

"Hello there, baby. You have some time for me, don't you?" she asked, taking your hand.

Your fingers intertwined with hers. She snuggled against your arm as you walked inside. You rubbed the back of her hand with your thumb.

"I always have time for you, sweetheart."

You took off your cap for a second just to kiss her cheek. Then you went into the aquarium, or rather, you got lost, because it was so huge and with so many places to go that you ended up alone. You looked at all kinds of marine animals and attractions; Ning looked adorable every time you passed by a new place and had the chance to see some of her favorite animals. You took photographs of her in each spot, but your favorites were the ones you took of her with a beluga, the sea otters, and at the sea lion show.

You were having the most pleasant and romantic time with her. However, when you visited the sea predators attraction, you saw fit to bring up the topic of the previous night. The few people in the place and the dim lighting created an intimate atmosphere that seemed perfect for talking.

"Hey, uh... I'm sorry about what you found when you came into the room last night," you said, as you watched a hammerhead shark swim past a school of fish.

She turned to look at you.

"Huh? Don't worry about it, darling. I enjoyed it too," she nodded.

"I know you did, but I still feel sorry," you sighed.

"I already said it's okay, silly. Stop apologizing," she rubbed your arm up and down, "I just hope that one day you become as committed to us as you are to them, you guys have a really cool relationship."

Before you could respond, your phone vibrated in your pocket with several notifications. You took it out to see them. There were multiple messages from Chaery. She was asking you if you had enjoyed her performance last night. You responded quickly, but soon found yourself involved in an exchange of sweet messages. Once you were done, you put the phone away and looked at Ning embarrassedly.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, I got distracted."

Ning took a moment to respond. She looked at you and then at the sharks through the glass, balancing on her ankles. Finally, she looked down at the ground.

“Honey…” she murmured, then looked up like you did when you put the phone away. "What's the history between you and Chaeryeong? Are you dating?"

Your heart skipped a beat. You remained silent as you pursed your lips. You knew that question would come sooner or later, but you never prepared for it. You were afraid of what you might say, but you were more afraid of how she was going to react. You took a deep breath.

“It’s… complicated,” you breathed out. "We act like a couple, but you know... our respective jobs and the current situation prevent us from using terms like 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'. But I'm obviously more attached to her than the rest of the girls."

She nodded slowly, avoiding your gaze. She looked down again and hesitated before asking the next question.

"Do you… do you think you have any time for me in your life when we get back?"

Ning always found a way to melt your heart, this was no exception. You wanted to take off her mask and kiss her, but since that would cause discomfort to the people around you, you limited yourself to surrounding her with your arms and cuddling her against your chest.

"I'll do my best to make it work, darling. We'll find a way together, I'm positive about it," you assured in her ear.

You snuggled her tightly in your arms. She hugged you back. Then you both stood in silence as you watched the school of fish swim peacefully around one of the deadliest predators in the ocean. Of course, they, small and defenseless, swam without any worries, oblivious to the danger that threatened them. You ignored the fact that you were the school of fish.

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After visiting the aquarium, the next goal was to find a good place to have lunch before shopping. You didn't have to go too far, as just a few blocks away there was a nice pizzeria that looked amazing. You walked in and Jihye stayed at the register to order while you settled at a table near the wall. Ning and Jimin sat on either side of you, while Minjeong and Aeri were on the other side of the table, with the seat reserved for Jihye.

"Alright, if we're going to do this we have to do it right," Jimin said next to you, "What kind of things do you think the ITZY girls would like?"

Not even three months in advance could have prepared you for that question. You had been thinking about it for weeks and never came to a conclusion, despite knowing each of them well. But that's how giving gifts was, it didn't matter if it was to your best friend, what to give them was always a stressful task.

"Uh... I mean..." you brought your hand to the back of your neck.

"He has no idea," Minjeong said, looking at her phone.

They all looked at you. You shrugged.

"Honey, you'll have to do better than just getting them generic clothes," Aeri said.

Ning nodded and turned to look at you.

"It has to be something unique, something meaningful that they can't get at home."

A very, very bad joke came to your mind. But you kept it to yourself so you wouldn't look like an idiot in front of Aeri. At that moment Jihye arrived with the bill in hand and sat next to Ning.

"Well, you could give them tour merchandise. You wouldn't even have to pay for it," she said.

You shook your head.

"Definitely not."

"Look, I know Yeji unnie very well. I can help you with her," Jimin said.

"I'll take Yuna," Minjeong said.

You couldn't help but let out a low laugh.

"Between spoiled brats you understand each other very well, that makes sense."

Minjeong just gave you the middle finger.

"Mmm, I'll help you with Chaery," Ning said from beside you.

You saw it more than perfect. But you were screwed since Lia and Ryujin were still missing. Luckily you had a Japanese guardian angel in front of you.

"Who's left, Julia and Ryujinie, right?" Aeri asked.

“Aha,” you nodded.

"Leave them to me."

"Fuck, thank you all," you sighed, "I'm really bad at this stuff."

"Yeah, it shows," Minjeong said.

You didn't have a witty response to that, she was just right. You had no choice but to stay silent.

"Don't be grateful," Jimin said, "It's nothing you wouldn't do for us."

She nudged you with her shoulder to encourage you, you just smiled weakly, staring into a salt shaker.

The two large pizzas arrived within minutes. Your stomachs had been growling for half an hour, so the slices disappeared in the blink of an eye. After finishing the meal, they took a short break to rest and headed towards their next destination. By then, it was already 4 in the afternoon.

Buying gifts was the most exhausting, stressful and tedious task of the entire day. You were grateful that you had five more heads with which to share the anguish, because if it had been up to you alone, you would have lost your mind with just the first gift. It didn't take long for Jimin to find something for Yeji, as did Ning with Chaery. Minjeong, despite seeming indifferent and rather annoyed at the idea of helping you, took a lot of time and effort to find something that she knew Yuna would love. You wanted to tease her, but you were afraid that if you made her angry, she would take a taxi and go back to the hotel. Yeji's gift was a pocket edition of Pride and Prejudice. Yuna's was Giorgio Armani's Sì perfume. And Chaery's was a beautiful handmade bracelet made with precious stones, mainly amethysts and rubies.

You, Aeri and Jihye dedicated yourself to finding things for Lia and Ryujin. It was the most complicated of all, but Aeri took the lead at all times and moved from here to there next to you, checking out clothing, accessories, and music stores. Finally, after hours of searching, they found the two perfect gifts: a vintage dress for Lia and a vinyl record of her favorite band for Ryujin. Aeri assured you that they would love them and damn, she was honestly completely right.

After having paid everything you met outside the shopping center.

"Hey, you're all up for the bar, aren't you?" Jihye asked.

"Fuck, of course I do. Let's go," Aeri said. The poor thing had grown gray thanks to her stress.

The driver took you to the bar that Jihye had previously mentioned, which turned out to be, no less, the same bar that you and her had gone to the night before. This time the same bartender from yesterday was not there. In her place was a young woman with tattoos and pink hair. The six of you settled at the bar quickly, ordering beers and cocktails. Jihye sat on your left and Ning sat on your right.

The music played at a moderate volume and the dim lighting created a cozy atmosphere. You laughed, talked, and enjoyed each other's company. It was the perfect way to end a long and intense day. Maybe the accumulated stress took too much of a toll on you, because the drinks started flowing and you all got drunk too quickly.

The hours flew by, and when you least expected it, it was already close to midnight. By then, you and the girls were already dumber than normal. It didn't affect you in a negative way, you were just more sleepy and immersed in your thoughts. Ning was much more affectionate and clingy towards you. Jimin, Aeri and Jihye sounded like a group of chatterboxes, talking non-stop and laughing out loud. Minjeong, for her part, just drank more and more, in complete silence.

"By the way, who will be next to have services from him?" Jimin asked.

You sighed, knowing the argument that was coming. You mentally prepared yourself. The entire debate was going to be solely between Jimin and Aeri, since Ning, being the lady that she was, stayed away from arguing about things like that. Jihye remained attentive, watching the development of the situation with interest, ready to intervene if necessary. And you were sure Minjeong didn't even know what was going on, absorbed in her own world, staring into her drink.

"I mean, I'm the leader," Jimin continued, "It would be fair if I had another round with him."

"Huh? What the fuck are you talking about girl?" Aeri jumped in, mixing Korean with English, "Do you know how long I have without fulfilling my needs? Hell nah, there's no way."

Sharp pangs drilled into your head. You rested your forehead on your hand, staring at the bar as you took a deep breath. Ning next to you gave you comforting kisses on your temple, oblivious to what was happening a few seats further to the left.

"And what about my turn?" Jihye asked, "When is it my turn?"

The discussion ended suddenly. All eyes, like a magnet, were directed towards her, including Minjeong's, who was observing her with a mixture of curiosity and surprise. A few long seconds of silence took over the place, while Jihye ignored the reason why everyone was looking at her in unison.

"What?" she asked.

"Hey but…" Minjeong murmured, "I was sure you'd already taken your turn on the night the three of us spent together."

"Kim Minjeong!" you said, "Oh my god..." you crossed your arms over the bar and hid your face in them.

Jihye didn't seem much less embarrassed than you. Her cheeks turned red and she couldn't say a word. It was evident that it had been a mistake to get into the argument, but the alcohol had undoubtedly prevented her from thinking about the consequences of her words. An awkward silence took over the air as she struggled to find the right words to break the tension.

"What happened that night?" Ning asked immediately.

Great, the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Yeah, what is Minjeongie talking about?" Jimin said.

Minjeongie, for her part, didn't seem aware of having asked an awkward question. In her mind, surely, it was a very normal and obvious question. She didn't notice the blush that stained Jihye's cheeks, who let out some silly babbling before formulating a response.

"I definitely need more alcohol to tell you that story, I'm sorry," she said.

“The three of us…” Minjeong started.

"Shhh!" Jihye shut her up immediately, "Shut your big mouth, Kim Minjeong, or I'll leave you without breakfast for the rest of the tour!"

"But why can't she say anything!" Aeri protested.

"Because it's something private and I decide so, Uchinaga."

Aeri rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, fine."

The night came to an end with unexpected suddenness. You, sincerely, were grateful, because the headache was tormenting you and you urgently needed to take a pill. Jihye called the driver one last time and, when he arrived, you all got into the car in an ostentatious manner, like a bunch of drunk clowns. You headed to the hotel.

The journey to the hotel seemed eternal, every minute became torture while the headache blurred your vision. Finally, the vehicle stopped in front of the majestic building. You went down on wobbly legs, eager to get to your rooms and rest. Neither was in a position to take care of the other, so the girls had to fend for themselves when exiting the elevator.

Once all the girls were out of the elevator you were left alone with Jihye, once again. Only then you did realize how drunk she really was.

Upon reaching your floor, she leaned against the open elevator doors to look you up and down. Her face reddened by alcohol and her big, somewhat glassy eyes formed a perhaps too sexy expression. An aura of sensuality surrounded her, making her beauty intensify even more.

"Would you like to keep me company, pretty boy?" she asked, "I'd rather not sleep alone tonight."

You stood there stunned, still leaning against the back wall of the elevator. You looked her up and down, focusing mostly on her pale, sexy bare legs. It was too tempting, the softness of her skin seemed to call to you, but you knew it was a barrier you shouldn't cross like that. A moral commitment prevented you from succumbing to temptation. It wasn't correct.

"Sorry, boss. I have to decline your offer this time, you're drunk," you said.

To your surprise, she took a stride towards you and grabbed you by the collar of your sweater to pull you towards her. Your faces and your bodies were perhaps too close to each other. That distance allowed you to smell her aroma, a mix between alcohol and hazelnut. You looked at her lips, full and slightly parted, and then at her eyes fixed on you.

"You know? There's honesty behind it... I would have made the same proposal to you sober," she murmured just inches from your lips, "But great, you still pass my tests."

She let go of you with a little push and turned around, turning right to head straight to her room. You almost stayed inside the elevator, you had to put your hand between the doors to make them open again and be able to get out. You watched her walk down the hallway for a few seconds, mesmerized by how attractive she was, before heading to your room.

Normally you would have taken a hot bath and performed a much more meticulous ritual before going to sleep. But at that point, the headache was unbearable. You just took off your sandals and shorts, and then looked in a small toiletry bag inside your suitcase for some pain pills. After swallowing one with a glass of cold water, you also took off your sweater, turned off the lights, turned on the air conditioning and got into the cozy bed. The only thing you could think about before falling asleep was the stupid, unstoppable and uncontrollable desire you had to kiss Noh Jihye.

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The next day was, finally, the day of the concert.

There really wasn't much time to interact with the girls. Jihye had sent you to the venue first to help with the sound arrangements. In fact, she had you working with the sound engineer all day, even during the concert, something you enjoyed as a little kid being able to be a part of something that big.

At the end of the concert, Jihye tells you and the girls that they would be flying to Washington DC that same night. Everyone complains, arguing that they are exhausted, but there is no other option, since the flight is already scheduled and the agenda cannot be modified.

The really stressful and exhausting part of the day came when you were heading to the airport. In the van, you received a message from someone you until now considered missing: Kim Sunwoo, your former coworker. Yesterday's headache came back instantly as you read the messages.

You had a small moment of panic. Your heart began to pound and your breathing became rapid and unsteady, and you did your best to hide your emotional state from the girls. Despite the anxiety attack, you took the time to thank those two.

As was proper, you immediately went with the news to Jihye, who didn't seem as worried as you were.

"Well... this is certainly a problem," she nodded, "But there's no use worrying about it right now, honey, let's discuss this on the plane."

Jihye took advantage of the fact that the girls weren't looking to give you a quick, light caress on your chin with her fingers. She then told you to rest a little while you arrived. You looked at her for a few seconds, but finally gave in and tried to relax in your seat.

The bustle of the airport was a distant hum in your ears. The girls began their usual round of complaints about how sore they were and how terrible it was to have to travel immediately after a show. Aeri made a joke at your expense, but you weren't on that existential plane. Your head was somewhere else, still on Sunwoo's messages. Seeing that you didn't react, Jimin immediately noticed that something was wrong with you.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, taking your wrist gently. 

You didn't want to worry her or the rest of the girls. You had no choice but to lie.

"Hm? Oh, nothing, I'm just tired and I zoomed out," you said with a weak reassuring smile.

You could see in Jimin's eyes that she knew you were lying. She knew you better than the rest of the girls. It was clear that she understood your behavior patterns, and one of them was not ‘zooming out’  when you were tired. However, not wanting to pressure you about it, she just let it go.

On the way to check-in, all the emotions attacked you like a pack of hungry wolves. A new anxiety attack left you breathless, and your mind became a battlefield of thoughts and possibilities. Panic took over you, and for a moment you seriously considered buying a ticket home. It was the most sensible thing to do, the most responsible thing to do, or so you thought. A vulture was hovering over you, and you didn't want to put the four girls you cared about at risk just because of you.

You were after all of them. Taking advantage of the girls' distraction, you slipped away and approached one of the receptionists, who was behind a counter. Just when you were about to ask for a ticket to Seoul, someone grabbed your forearm with all their might. You turned around, startled, and met Jihye's furious gaze.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she asked.

"Jihye, I can't be responsible for these girls getting into trouble because of me," you sputtered, breathing heavily, "I wouldn't forgive myself."

Jihye let go of your forearm and grabbed your hand a little too tightly.

"Honey, I respect that and appreciate it, but that would be a fucking stupid move," she took a step forward and spoke very close to you, "You are listed as part of the staff, you have an official role. If this reporter is already digging in this whole situation, the only thing you would achieve by mysteriously flying back in the middle of the tour is to raise more suspicions."

It was impossible to argue with that logic. Jihye was absolutely right. However you prepared to blurt out an stupid clumsy argument back, but before you could, she wrapped you in a warm, comforting hug. In that instant, all the emotions hammering in your head stopped.

"Calm down, please..." she said against your chest, "We're a team now. We'll find a way out of this, okay? But just don't make a stupid decision."

"I... you're right, I'm sorry."

She broke the hug and grabbed you by the forearms. Then, she did something that took you completely by surprise. She stood on tiptoe and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. An unexpected stupid tingle ran through your stomach, and your cheeks lit up with a blush you couldn't control.

"Besides, you can't leave without keeping your promise first, remember?" she raised an eyebrow with a little smile.

You couldn't help but laugh, trying to lower the color in your cheeks with a discreet flutter of your hands.

"I know, I know. I'm not going to break my promise, boss. And hey, thanks, really."

You took a deep breath, maybe your first in fifteen minutes. The surge of adrenaline began to dissipate, and your mind slowly became clearer. Finally, you could think with a cool head. You recognized, with a mixture of shame and relief, that you were about to do something very stupid.

"You'll thank me later," she winked at you, "But we have to get going, we're late for boarding."

She took your hand and led you to the line. You went straight to the jet, which when you arrived the girls were already inside, settled and ready for takeoff. Of course the first one worried about you was Jimin.

"What took you so long?" she asked.

"I had some cramps and had to go to the bathroom urgently," Jihye said. "He accompanied me so I wouldn't be alone."

Jimin nodded understandingly, too slowly to make you and Jihye believe that she had been satisfied with that answer.

"Sure," she simply said.

"Well, he and I have some logistical issues to discuss about DC," Jihye said as you walked through the cabin, "There were problems with some contractors who helped with the stage set up, sooooo it's best you leave us alone!"

Ning was already fast asleep, with her head resting on the plane window. Minjeong and Aeri were lost in their own worlds, with headphones in their ears and staring blankly at their screens. You weren't sure if they had really heard Jihye's words. Jimin, on the other hand, was visibly uneasy in her seat. She watched you suspiciously as you walked, with Jihye, towards the rear cabin.

Upon entering, Jihye settled into one of the seats on the left that faced you, in front of a table with rounded corners and chrome edges that made the fine wood stand out. You closed the cabin hatch behind you with a silent click and went to sit on a double seat on the right side, a small countertop to your right with a smooth surface.

“Alright, let me see,” Jihye said, asking for your phone to see the messages.

You took your phone out of your pocket and opened the chat with Sunwoo. Then, you handed it to Jihye, who took her time to read each message carefully. Finally, she returned it to you with a serious expression on her face.

"It has to be the bastard who took the photo of you and Ning, or at least someone who works for him," she said, taking her laptop out of her backpack to open it on the table.

You nodded, thoughtful. You placed the phone in your lap and clasped your hands under your chin, elbows resting on your thighs. Jihye began typing furiously, sending one email after another. You sighed hopefully, thinking that nothing bad could come from a woman so focused on her mission. You were in good hands, at least.

"What will we do?" you asked, feeling like you were asking Spider-Man for reassuring words.

Jihye didn't take her eyes off the screen, she just continued typing.

"The first thing to do is find out how much this guy knows," she said. "You know, what his intentions are and what the hell he wants. That way we can know if we should act by hook or by crook."

"You won't dissolve him in a pool of acid, will you?"

She looked away from the screen and looked at you like you were born stupid.

"What? Of course not, dumbass," she looked back at the laptop. "I mean we can create a smokescreen about it, or use our influence."

You sighed.

"Anything to keep the girls safe, to be honest."

At that precise moment, the cabin hatch burst open, breaking into the atmosphere of concentration. Looking up, both you and Jihye were met with Jimin's glare as she crossed her arms and took a firm stance as she entered.

"What do we have to be safe from, Noh Jihye?" she demanded to know, closing the hatch behind her, "Is this why you and him were so late?"

“Jimin…” you said.

"Is that why you were so strange when we arrived at the airport?" she interrupted you, perhaps raising her voice a little too much.

"Jiminie, you have to calm down, we..." Jihye started to say.

"I'm the damn leader of the group! If something is happening I fucking deserve to know about it!"

You and Jihye looked at each other for a moment.

"You're right, we're sorry," Jihye agreed, "But the situation isn't mine, I'm not the one to explain it."

Their gazes landed on you in an instant. You sat up in your seat, straightening your posture, and looked at Jimin with a bit of embarrassment. You took a short breath, gathering the courage to tell her everything. As you told your story, Jimin's face softened, going from initial fury to slight sadness. When you finished, she stood in front of you and wrapped you in a warm, comforting hug. Your face pressed against her abdomen, feeling the same warmth and security as in Jihye's embrace a few hours before.

"You... aren't mad at me?" you ventured.

Jimin grabbed your shoulders and pulled you away from her to look into your eyes.

"Mad? How can I be? Dude, I'm just worried about you."

She sat next to you and hugged you with both arms, her cheek resting on your shoulder.

"But don't hide anything from me again unless you want a real fight."

"We didn't want to worry you," Jihye said. "I'm sure you have more important things to think about."

"Nonsense," Jimin snapped. "This directly affects us all, it is my duty."

"As you wish, then," Jihye relented. "But it's time to make a plan."

"I promise to make sure the girls won't say anything that raises suspicion, not even around the staff."

"Don't you think that will make them suspicious?" you asked.

"They will believe it is to prevent something from happening. They will not know that something has already happened."

"Very well then," you nodded.

"I will talk to my connections at JYP so that they are aware of the situation and are prepared to handle it," Jihye said, finally closing the laptop. "I will also question the staff as discreetly as possible to see if anyone knows your true role."

"What if someone knows?"

"I'll make them keep their big mouths shut," she said as if it were obvious. "As I was saying, I will also contact a private detective to investigate this guy based on the number you got from him that night."

Jimin lifted her head from your shoulder and frowned.

"Night? What night?"

You sighed. Another thing that she didn't know and that you should directly explain to her. You took the trouble and patience to explain her story to her in great detail. As you did so you realized how much you really hated this guy and how much he deserved a beating from you. Jimin by that point she was just as upset as you.

"What a son of a bitch, god," she grumbled.

"Yeah, that's how sick some people are," Jihye said.

"Anyway. I'll let the ITZY girls know about it so they're aware," you said. "I will also try to contact the spa to see if they can provide me with security camera footage."

Jihye raised her eyebrows.

"Can they give you that?" she asked. "That would be a great help."

"Normally they don't give camera footage to anyone, but this is an exceptional occasion. They will understand."

"I will send you an email address, you can send the footage there if you receive it."

"For the detective?"

She looked at you again as if you were stupid from birth.

"Well, of course, what are you going to do with a 24-hour camera shoot?"

You thought about it for a moment, realizing that she was right. You relented with a shrug.

"Shouldn't you also contact your previous clients?" Jimin said.

"Yeah, right," you nodded. "The problem is that there aren't a few of them, damn it," you sighed.

"You should only inform the most famous one," Jihye said. "I don't even have to tell you who."

You nodded and crossed your arms. Your mind immediately went to Seulgi. You hadn't spoken to her for a few months, and you definitely didn't like the fact that you were resuming relations over that matter.

"Anyway," she continued, "Try to relax, it won't be too long until we get to D.C."

"Can I stay here with you?" Jimin asked.

"Sure," Jihye nodded. "It's not like I can get you out anyway. It's not my private cabin as much as I would love to."

Jimin kicked off her shoes in one swift movement and let them fall to the floor with a soft thud. Then, she raised her legs over yours and snuggled against your body. You put your arm around her. You both tried to close your eyes and relax, leaving Jihye engrossed in reading a book.

----------------------------------

Upon landing in Washington D.C all plans were put into motion, everything happening on the way to the Conrad, the next hotel where you would stay.

You contacted Seulgi with an admittedly uncomfortable call, but it fulfilled your objective. She hadn't asked many questions about it, as expected she asked you what the hell you were up to, but you were honest with her and explained it the best you could. She understood it, or at least she pretended to. In the end she told you that she would spread the word among the girls to be careful.

By the time you arrived at the hotel all your energy was drained. You had been able to sleep a little with Jimin, but it was one of those naps that only exhausted you more, as strange as it seemed.

"Don't even think about leaving the hotel," Jihye said when you were all gathered in the lobby. "The concert is tomorrow and I need you all to rest. So you are prohibited from going out."

"Yes, please behave," Jimin said from beside her. She looked at all the girls as if making them remember what she had talked to them about.

After checking in, everyone quickly dispersed to their respective rooms. Once again, your floor matched Jihye's. You met in the hallway, walking side by side in search of your doors. You stopped in front of yours.

"Honey, get some sleep, please," she said standing in front of you. "This is not the first time something like this has happened in the industry, there are solutions."

"I know..." you sighed. "It's just that, damn, I really care about these girls. Just thinking that they're at risk because of me makes me feel terrible."

Jihye placed her suitcase next to her and stepped forward to cup your face in her hands. Her soft touch made you melt between her fingers.

"For the love of God, stop saying this is your fault," she said. "It's not your fault that a scumbag sneaked in where he shouldn't have."

You tried to protest, but she tightened her grip on your face to keep you quiet.

"We'll get through it," she whispered, "I promise."

You were silent as you looked at her, once again, at her pretty lips. And you made a great effort to contain yourself, once again. She finally let go of you, gave you one last look and grabbed her suitcase to leave about 5 doors later. You sighed deeply and walked into your room.

Opening the door, you were greeted by a short, narrow wooden hallway that led to the main room. The floor was covered with a soft gray carpet and the walls were a pristine shade of white. To your left, a king size bed, too big for you, but you weren't going to refuse. On the right, a small nightstand and, in the corner, a curved sofa with a lamp behind it and a small round table in front. On the opposite side of the room, after the bathroom door, a long low counter that housed a television and a large mirror. The room was completed with a larger circular table with a single chair and a big window that overlooked the street.

After unpacking and setting up some of your things, you closed the window curtains to turn on the air conditioning. The heat of the day was stifling and a good power nap was what you craved most. You took off your shoes and sat on the right edge of the bed, letting out a contented sigh. At that moment, your phone vibrated. A message from Jimin.

With a smile on your lips, you replied to Jimin's message. Then, you tossed the phone to the side of the bed and got up to turn off the light. The room was plunged into darkness, only illuminated by the faint glow of the city filtering through the windows. You went back to bed and got under the blanket, feeling the warmth and comfort of the mattress. Closing your eyes, you let fatigue overcome you and within a few minutes you fell into a deep sleep.

---------------------------

You woke up around 9 pm. Much more than you had planned, but damn it was worth it. You felt like a new and renewed man; of course, ignoring the fact that you were facing one of the most stressful situations you have ever experienced in your entire life.

When you got out of bed, the first thing you did was stick to your promise and you wrote to Jimin again, letting her know that you had already woken up and asking what the plan was. Waiting for her response, you went directly to the bathroom and got into the shower.

Barely five minutes had passed since you had gotten under the shower when the knocking on the door started. You had no doubt who they were. They, the girls, were not going to give up so easily. You wouldn't give them the pleasure of interrupting you, but they couldn't wait for you to finish either. The blows intensified, and they pierced your ears very quickly.

Reluctantly you turned off the water and got out of the shower. You dried yourself quickly and wrapped the towel around your body to go open them. You looked through the fisheye, and after confirming that it was them, you opened the door.

Both girls were wearing simple outfits, similar to what they would wear to sleep. Jimin was wearing a white crop top—which ironically said 'Send Nudes'— that exposed her midriff and red sports shorts. Aeri, for her part, was wearing a black sweater and pink velvet sweatpants. They both wore Crocs. Their faces lit up when they looked at you, and above all, when they looked at you half naked. What you noticed was that they were somewhat blushing, which immediately led you to think that they must have been drinking a little.

"Oh, we're at a good time it seems," Jimin said. She and Aeri let out a giggle.

Without even inviting them, they snuck under your arm and invaded your room. As Aeri passed by, she grabbed the knot of your towel and pulled it hard, taking it off you in one motion. You hurried to close the door.

"That's better," she said, walking past you.

You followed them. When you crossed the hallway you saw Jimin already settled in your bed, lying on her side and leaning on her elbow. Aeri went to sit on the chair next to the table.

"May I know what's going on and why I'm naked?" you asked, "I didn't think this would be the plan."

"Gigi and I are back on the menu, cutie," Jimin said between tipsy giggles, "You could use some stress relief."

"Oh, and we have a debate that you could be the perfect judge of," Aeri added.

You sighed, picked up your towel from the floor and put it back on. Then you went to your suitcase.

"And what could that debate be?" you asked, putting on underwear and some sports shorts.

"Which is better?" They both said in unison, like a previously rehearsed routine.

"Tits?" Jimin said.

"Or ass," Aeri said.

"Well, this is going to be a long night..." you muttered to yourself, going to sit on the couch in the corner. "And how did that mystery arise, may I know?"

The two of them looked at each other, neither could find an answer.

"I figured it," you nodded.

"But answer!" Jimin demanded, “You have to have a preference, right?”

"Well I don't have it, Rina," you leaned back on the couch and crossed your arms, "I'll need you to present your cases to me."

Jimin giggled and looked at Aeri.

"I knew he would say that," she said.

"But before you start mouthing profanities," you reached over to grab your phone from the nightstand. "I'll order food. I haven't eaten all day and you could use some time to formulate your answers."

They nodded and began to write in the notes app on their phones. You focused on ordering the food: two chicken sandwiches, a large portion of fries, and a can of white monster—for some reason, it was one of the drink options. When your order arrived, you put on a t-shirt and went to pick it up at the door. Upon returning, you settled back on the couch and placed the bag on the small round table in front of you. The aroma of fried food made your stomach growl.

"Okay," you said, taking out everything in the bag and then putting it down. "Present your cases. I don't care who goes first."

You opened the wrapper of one of your sandwiches and without hesitation you took a big bite. You couldn't help but moan at how delicious it was. At that moment Aeri got up from the chair and stood a meter away from you. You gave her a few glances, but decided that only your ears would be paying attention to them, since your eyes were quite busy with her food.

"Obviously, I think ass is better than tits," she began. "A lot of our choreographies are focused on making our butts shine, in fact," she let out a giggle. "Also, as you well know, twerking has become a crucial part of pop culture. Is there anything similar with boobs? I don't think so."

You couldn't help but let out a hint of laughter while your mouth was full of fries, at the surreal way in which she spoke so seriously and with such conviction about something so banal.

"Stop, stop," you interrupted her before she moved onto her next point. "Since you're so confident with twerk, why don't you show off your skills to me and Jiminie?"

She smiled excitedly, and turned around to begin. You quickly swallowed the bite of the sandwich so you could speak.

"Oh, before you start," you interrupted her again. "I cannot formulate a good verdict without your points of defense being exposed to view. Clothes off."

Aeri giggled and looked over her shoulder at you. Jimin also stood up and stood next to her.

"You were already late asking for it," Aeri said.

She looked forward again and bent forward as she took off her sweatpants. She wasn't wearing underwear, which wasn't a surprise to you or Jimin. Her huge round ass was instantly exposed, and she stayed bent over for a few seconds so you could get a look at her pussy. She then straightened her back and proceeded to take off her sweater. You didn't see her tits at first, just her bare back.

By then you had already finished the first sandwich and you had half a can of monster. While you opened the second wrapper, Jimin seemed to forget that they were in a competition, because she played Ash-B's Booty on her phone. Perfect song for Aeri to shake her butt, ironically.

Aeri put on a really impressive show for the two of you. You should have expected such perfect and hypnotizing control of her buttocks, but she still managed to divert your attention from the food so that you focused solely on her. She danced every second of the song, from start to finish. With that you no longer needed to hear any more arguments.

She walked towards you and sat on your left thigh, turning her body to face you with a mischievous expression.

"Let's not forget when you told me how tasty my ass was after the night we spent together in San Francisco," she moved her ass from side to side over your leg. "Oh, and also how much you came inside it while you were sucking my toes."

She stood up from your thigh and finished her presentation with a simple, but quite effective, slap on her own buttock; making sure you noticed how the flesh of her ass and thighs responded with a jiggle.

Using memories and personal experiences was playing dirty. Maybe you should have clarified that before starting the 'debate', however it was too late. Aeri had already managed to make your cock hard under your boxers, but neither of them noticed since the table hid your crotch from her eyes.

"Alright, next," you turned your attention to your second sandwich. With that bite it was already halfway done. 

Aeri went to lie on her side on the bed facing you. Jimin took her place in front of you, and without you asking her she began to undress. You looked up, watching as she first took off her top, revealing the black bra she was wearing underneath, which also didn't take long to fall to the floor. With her heavy, lovely tits free, she moved to her lower garments, which she lowered to her ankles with a single quick tug. Now she was also completely naked.

"Hey, it's not fair," she said. "You are still dressed and we are naked."

"I'm eating, Rina," you defended yourself. "I am unable to eat while naked."

"That sounds like a terrible excuse," Aeri said to your right.

You looked at her and put your finger in front of your lips.

"Hush, young lady. Who is the judge here?"

Aeri rolled her eyes and you turned your attention to Jimin.

"Go ahead, Miss Yoo," you nodded, returning your attention to what was missing from your sandwich.

Jimin cleared her throat and took a step forward, so you could see up close her pale tits and her seemingly freshly shaved pussy.

"I'll start by saying that there is no man or woman who can be depressed while looking at a nice pair of tits," she said. "In addition, it has been proven that boobs are much more popular in Asia, Europe and Oceania than asses."

By the time she finished speaking you had already finished the last sandwich and had wiped your mouth with a napkin. You took a drink of your monster and prepared to challenge her, but just as you opened your mouth she pushed the table away from between you, straddled your lap and grabbed you by the neck to bury your face between her tits.

"Do you remember how my cute feet got you in the hot tub?" she said in a low voice, rubbing her tits back and forth against your face. "Then you fucked this pair of heavy tits and painted my face with cum... Surely that was better than fucking Gigi's ass while you sucked on her toes, right?"

She shook her tits again and again. With your face there in the middle you were sure that tits were a better option, but of course, your face had not been between Aeri's buttocks in the same way. What a difficult decision.

Jimin got off you, and standing in front of you finished her argument by giving her tits a good squeeze. Then she went to lie down on the bed, perpendicular to Aeri. You stayed silent, staring at the empty monster can. Your cock hurt because of how hard it was, those two had played very dirty.

You sighed.

"Very well... I'd love to give you a verdict," you said, standing up to walk in front of the bottom edge of the bed. "But aside from the fact that you cheated..." you took off your t-shirt and threw it next to the girls' clothes. "I will need practical arguments to be able to decide a winner."

Aeri, who bit her lower lip, and Jimin looked at each other with a knowing smile. Then they nodded and knelt up on the bed to get closer to you. The first to crash her lips against yours was Aeri, who didn't bother to hide her enthusiasm and the desire she had to taste you after so long. Jimin wasn't patient either; she leaned down to kiss your chest and collarbone, as she did so, she pulled your shorts down along with your boxers to free your throbbing cock.

Aeri added her tongue to the kiss and clung to your neck with both arms, making it clear that she was feral at that moment. You did the same, and now your tongues were involved in a fiery fight to take control. Your hands did not stay still; you lowered your left to meet Jimin's tits, which you squeezed and massaged; the right one went straight to Aeri's ass, squeezing her right buttock and reaching down to her pussy to rub your fingers between her folds.

Jimin brought her hand to your cock and rubbed it slowly, also going down to caress your balls. But soon you felt her lips on your shaft, giving it wet kisses until she took you inside her mouth. You couldn't help but let out a moan into Aeri's mouth. You broke away from the kiss to look down, finding Jimin on her hands and knees as she sucked your cock.

"Hey, it's not fair!" Aeri protested. "I was distracted!"

She got down on her hands and knees as well, letting Jimin pump her head over the middle of your shaft for a few more seconds before elbowing her away.

"Envious bitch!" Jimin protested as well, as Aeri took more of your cock into her mouth and pumped it faster. 

The next minute was about the two of them taking turns in hurried ways to suck your cock. You couldn't complain, they knew exactly what they were doing and their mouths felt incredible; besides, you had a most satisfying view: both incredible pale asses perfectly raised and a pair of smooth backs that you ran your hands over before squeezing one of their buttocks.

"Why don't you put those pretty feet to work?" you managed to say between gasps.

Aeri, who currently had your cock in her mouth, lifted her feet and moved them for you to see.

"Who do you want to go first?" She asked as she pulled you out of her, Jimin joining her in licking the back of your shaft.

“Jiminie,” you said without hesitation. "But I want to suck your feet."

"Fuck, too bad we didn't bring lube," Jimin said, before turning on the bed and lying on her back.

"It won't be necessary," Aeri replied with an arrogant smile, to acquire the same position as Jimin. "My pretty feet are going to melt him." 

Aeri placed one of her feet on your abdomen and rubbed it up and down. Jimin brought both of them to your cock. With one she played with your balls, and with the other she used her toes to rub your saliva-soaked tip.

"Yours?" Jimin said, rubbing the back of your shaft with the foot she had on your balls. "Ha! As if you had his favorite feet."

Aeri now brought her foot to your face, you gladly accepted it into your mouth, sucking each toe of hers hungrily while Jimin now used both feet on either side of your cock. She moved them slowly, just like she started that day in the bathtub. Then she picked up speed. You caressed the back of their thighs, and then went up to their pussies.

"There's a reason he wants to suck my feet first, right?" Aeri replied, caressing the side of your face with her toes while you sucked on the others, "He likes mine better."

Jimin took that as a challenge and set out to move her feet even better, faster and tightening her grip on you with her toes. You moaned with Aeri's foot in your mouth, and then moved on to the next one. With the fingers of each hand of yours you now rubbed her pussies, eliciting small moans from both of them.

"Do you hear that?" Jimin said after a gasp. "My pretty feet are driving him crazy."

"He moans because my feet taste delicious," Aeri gasped.

You pulled Aeri's feet out of your mouth and looked at them, tired of their chatter.

"Shut your mouths and switch places," you ordered.

Jimin giggled and looked at Aeri.

"He doesn't want to suck your feet anymore," she said, removing her feet from your cock.

"I said shut your mouths," you had to say again before Aeri replied, "I don't want to hear any more arguing between you two."

"As you order daddy," Aeri giggled, now bringing her feet to your cock.

"I will obey only because I want to win," Jimin said, doing the same only to your face.

Aeri put care and dedication into making sure her feet felt as good as Jimin's did, which you were now sucking and licking; you distributed wet kisses too, both on the backs of her feet and on her soles. Aeri meanwhile used her soles to wrap your cock between firm flesh and silky skin, rubbing it up and down non-stop.

You liked sucking Aeri's feet more, and you liked the way Jimin used her feet on your cock more. In that field it was a technical tie, but you weren't going to give anyone the pleasure of knowing that. You let your moans speak for you, as well as the way you were now touching both of their pussies. Soon you had two fingers inside each one. They both moaned in unison.

You were approaching your peak at an accelerated pace. You moved your fingers faster in and out of both of their pussies, making them moan faster and double their efforts. Aeri moved her feet hungrily, and Jimin pressed her toes into your mouth. Cumming thanks to Aeri's efforts would have been an ego boost for her and she would have taken it as a victory, which you didn't want. You were going to take the selfish, but fair route.

“Put your feet together, come on,” you growled, feeling the tingle in your lower abdomen. “I don't want any objections.”

Jimin obeyed immediately. Aeri did so reluctantly, but she left your cock after a few seconds. They put their feet together in front of your cock, intertwining their toes with each other as they watched your cock, biting their bottom lip. You brought your hand to your cock and rubbed it repeatedly against her toes, then masturbated quickly. The unload didn't take long to come out; jets of cum shot out one after another, these fell between their feet, leaving a thick cover of thick liquid on their toes.

“Why didn't you let me drain you?” Aeri protested.

“Because it's a tie, Uchinaga,” you said between gasps.

“Huh? “What do you mean by a tie!” Jimin also complained.

“If you don't like it, I don't care. Now, clean each other’s feet,” you ordered.

Even though the two of them were in a kind of competition, they did not hesitate to accept that proposal. The first to act was Aeri, who got on her knees and grabbed Jimin by her ankles to suck on her toes, cleaning every trace of semen from there between small moans.

“Fuck, what a delight,” she said.

Jimin pushed her so she fell back against the bed again. She did the same as Aeri, grabbing her ankles to clean her without missing a single drop. When they finished they both saw you, Jimin licking his lips. They were waiting for more orders from you. You just wanted to fuck them, and you certainly wouldn't make them wait after you'd been fingering them for a couple of minutes.

“Who wants to take my cock first?” you said, sitting up on your ankles.

Clearly the question was useless, they both instantly knelt in front of you.

"I!" they said in unison.

They looked at each other with frowns.

“Why do you want everything first!” Aeri screeched.

“Because I am the leader and I have the right!” Jimin replied.

“You fucked him for two nights in a row girl!”

You sighed and put your hands on your face, shaking your head. They were doing it again.

"So what! Would you simply be satiated by his cock?”

"No bu-"

Already tired of their argument, you decided to act following only your instincts. You wrapped Aeri's fleshy body in your arms and pulled forward with her. She let out a gasp and grabbed onto your shoulders as you fell on top of her. Before Jimin could protest, you extended an arm towards her and lifted a finger. She took the cue immediately, crossing her arms.

Aeri looked into your eyes and spread her legs wide open. The tip of your cock rubbed against her wet folds.

“You couldn't hold back the desire to finally be able to fuck my pussy, huh?” she said, switching to English.

“Don't make me change my mind, Uchinaga,” you warned, and before she could respond you kissed her.

She let out a small squeal of happiness against your lips when you did so, then wrapped her arms around your neck and deepened the kiss, giving your hair little tugs as her fingers tangled in it. You left one hand resting on her mattress next to her waist, and the other you took to her thigh to lift it up, press it against your side and squeeze it. She raised her hips impatiently; she made your cock rub again and again against her wet pussy, in the end you couldn't help but give in to her temptation and gave her what she wanted. You grabbed your cock with your left hand and guided it inside her.

Aeri widened her eyes and then grimaced in pleasure.

“Oh my fucking god!” she squealed, as your cock forced its way between her folds.

Jimin giggled, lying on her side to Aeri's left to look at her.

“It feels massive, doesn't it?” she said.

“It feels massive and fucking incredible,” Aeri agreed, closing her eyes and arching her back.

The entire length of your cock was buried inside her without much trouble, and fuck, how soft and hot Aeri's pussy felt was overwhelming. You let out a growl and attacked her neck with kisses. She held onto the back of your neck with one hand, and the other was on your lower back as you began to move your hips slowly. She let out long, sensual moans each time every inch of throbbing flesh filled her to the bottom, but the way she put pressure on your lower back told you to move faster.

“Fuck that pussy with everything you got baby. Mmmgh!” Aeri moaned into your ear. “It's all fucking yours, act like it!”

It wasn't an offer you received every day, you certainly weren't going to turn it down. Your hips pumped faster now, gradually transforming that into a frantic fucking that drove Aeri crazy. You kissed her jaw and chin, then met her lips again. After kissing her for a few long seconds you straightened your back to look at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her moans didn't let her formulate any more words. You took her legs and raised each one to your shoulders; then you leaned forward, so that her thighs were pressed against her torso and her knees were as close to her own face as possible.

“Wow, she's more flexible than she looks,” Jimin said next to her. She slowly touched her pussy, making circles on her clitoris.

Neither you nor Aeri answered her. You were focused on hammering into her warm, plump pussy, a bead of sweat dripping down your temple despite having the air conditioning on, while Aeri was focused on not screaming too loud from being thrust so fast and deep.

She clung to the back of your neck with both hands and dug her nails there, arching her back again between intense squeals.

“Fuck, don't stop! I'm gonna cum so fucking hard on that fucking juicy piece of meat!“

You stood up again and looked down at her. You rested your hands on her thighs and kept them pressed against her torso, moving your hips up and down to keep her pinned against the mattress. It didn't take long for your cock to make her explode. Her thighs tensed and her entire body was shaken by an energetic spasm. Her toes curled up too, and to keep with tradition, you sucked on them as she rode out her orgasm.

“Blessed Jesus, you really made her cum hard,” said Jimin, who was already letting out light moans.

Aeri looked at you with weak, but clearly satisfied eyes. Her chest rose and she fell with labored breaths.

“Yeah… waiting for that cock was totally worth it,” she mused. “But damn, I want more.”

“Well then it's your turn to wait, bitch,” Jimin replied, grabbing you by her shoulders and pulling you back, making you slide out of Aeri's pussy and fall on your back. Your head almost went over the bottom edge of the bed.

You let out a tired breath and looked at her with half-closed eyes.

“Fuck, you could be a little more subtle, couldn't you?” you said.

“Nah.”

Jimin mounted you nimbly, both slender thighs on either side of your hips. She didn't hesitate to raise hers, take your cock with one hand to stand it upright and impale herself on it. Her pussy was already a frequent acquaintance for your cock, which fit perfectly inside those tight, wet walls that fascinated you so much. She let out a moan as her ass rested against your pelvis.

“I'm never going to fucking get tired of that feeling,” she gasped, resting her hands on your chest.

“What a slut,” Aeri said behind Jimin.

Jimin closed her eyes and pursed her lips between moans, as she slowly moved up and down on your cock.

“I wasn't the one who left the bottom of my swimsuit in a hotel pool,” she said without further concern. Easy and effective response to which Aeri had no reply.

You weren't really paying attention to what they were saying, at this point it was useless to keep trying to get the two of them to shut their mouths once and for all and not argue, so you just focused on enjoying their bodies.

You brought your hands to Jimin's small, soft waist; You held your fingers there for a moment, then you went to her ass, squeezed it a couple of times and then gave her right buttock a spicy spank that made her scream. Not resisting the urge to kiss her, you surrounded her body with your arms and pulled her towards you. Her lips crashed against yours automatically, and her tits crushed against your chest.

Your lips battled against each other for a few long seconds, your arms firmly clinging to her torso as they did so. She moved her ass faster, taking every inch of your cock in and out of her with skillful, sensual movements. You ran your hands along her back, feeling the creamy skin beneath your fingertips. One of your hands ended up on the back of her head, there you couldn't help but caress her long, silky hair, which covered your face on each side.

“Come on bitch, finish him,” you heard Aeri say. “I already did all the work, it should be a piece of cake.”

Expecting Jimin not to fall for easy provocations was like expecting something from a wall. Exactly, you just couldn't expect anything. Jimin took that as another challenge, and she pulled away from your lips to plant both feet on the mattress on either side of your waist.

“Look how I make him fill my pussy, Uchinaga,” said Jimin, who began to jump on your cock.

Not even in the two nights you were together did you see Jimin so enthusiastic while she was riding you. It was like she had gained new strength, like a damn illogical Dragon Ball Z power-up. All because Aeri Uchinaga didn't know how to shut her big mouth and because she didn't know how to turn a deaf ear. She was jumping so hard and with such speed that you thought she was going to split you in half. Of course this had its advantages, you couldn't complain. Her tits bounced hypnotically, up and down and even making small circles. You latched onto both immediately.

Jimin dug her nails into your chest and scratched it downwards lightly. You let out a small grunt of pain, and as 'revenge' you gave one of her tits a loud slap that reverberated throughout the room along with the sound of her ass crashing against your pelvis. She didn't care in the slightest, in fact, in her eyes you could read that she wanted you to do it again. That's how you did it, giving multiple slaps to both of her tits. You didn't stop until they were red hot.

The hot scene soon became too much to bear. Jimin continued jumping as if her life depended on it—not her life, but the damn challenge that had her so energetic—; she brought her hands to your neck out of inertia, putting pressure around it with her slender fingers. It was something she had put into practice a couple of times that night, and each time she managed to give you that little boost you needed to cum.

"Mmmgh fuck!" you growled, pushing upwards as you came.

It was always religiously true that Jimin also came from feeling your cum filling her pussy. This time was no exception. She sank back down with a loud moan to the ceiling, grinding her hips forward and back between strong spasms, as your cock shot multiple thick jets of cum into her.

You held on to her waist this time, so she would lower her knees and lean into you again. You wrapped your arms around her again and kissed her for a few long seconds, exchanging moans and labored breaths. Finally, Jimin moved off you so that your cum flowed freely from her pussy to her right thigh.

Aeri watched your cum leak through Jimin's folds and bit her lip.

"Mmm… that looks delicious," she said.

"Clean up then," you said with a nod.

Aeri didn't hesitate for a single moment to go straight to Jimin's crotch, grabbing her thighs and burying her mouth there to collect every drop of cum that came out of her pussy. Jimin, who was still somewhat sensitive, squirmed between small painful moans as she stroked Aeri's hair. When Aeri finished, they looked at you.

"Who has the better pussy, judge?" she said between gasps, grabbing her own tits.

Aeri also looked expectantly at your response.

If you had to be honest, Jimin's pussy was something magical, a thing out of this world. But for your first time inside Aeri's, you had to say that she wasn't too far from that status. You had fucked her only once, while you did it with Jimin for a whole day. In any case, you didn't want to give a winner there either.

"Another tie," you said unabashedly.

They both frowned and you almost felt like you were going to get beaten up.

"What?!" they both said in unison.

"Calm your competitive asses and let me be just an indecisive man, will you?" You raised your eyebrows.

"No, fuck my tits right now," Jimin said, kneeling up.

You raised an eyebrow.

"And what makes you think you're in charge?" you said. "I'm sorry but you'll have to wait until I want to do it."

"So what do you want to do now, daddy?" Aeri said, lying on her stomach and picking up her knee to make her ass look much more appetizing.

You'd consider that a vile trick too, but it was perfectly clean. Only you were a weak man for a good ass of that magnitude.

"Oh my god, you even call him daddy," Jimin said as if disappointed. "Who's the slut now?"

"I am, any problem?" she looked at you. "Well? Are you going to eat my ass or not, daddy?"

"I'm going to do more than fucking eat it," you said.

You lay face down and placed your head above Aeri's huge ass, which you kissed on each buttock again and again until it left with small saliva stains; then you grabbed each butt cheek with your hand and spread them to each side, exposing her butthole for you. You planted your mouth there, eating Aeri's ass like a hungry dog. You licked and kissed in every way possible, with the main goal of getting her ready for what you were both waiting for.

When you were satisfied with that ass you knelt up and turned to look at Jimin.

"Do you want to lube it up for me, honey?" you said. She had her brow furrowed and her arms crossed. She was upset. "Don't be spoiled, Rina. You'll have your turn too."

It was enough for you to bring your hand to her left cheek and rub it gently. She softened her face little by little and pressed herself against your hand. Then she complied with your order, getting on her hands and knees to be level with your cock to suck it, purposely releasing spit in the middle of the blowjob to leave your shaft slippery and ready.

"Thank you, what a good girl," Aeri said with a giggle.

Jimin frowned again.

"I didn't do it for you, whore," she said.

"Shut up," you said. They both fell silent.

You took your lubricated cock and rode Aeri's ass, bracing your thighs on either side of her hips to rub your tip between her buttocks. She looked at you over her shoulder and looked down, grabbed her own buttocks and spread them for you. Next you pressed down on her butthole, which began to engulf you inch by inch.

You and Aeri let out a long moan of satisfaction, as your cock was already halfway inside her ass.

“Fuck, I missed this fucking delicious ass too much,” you growled, clinging to Aeri's waist.

"And I missed that huge cock inside it," Aeri replied, hugging the pillow she had under her head.

When your cock disappeared into Aeri's more than experienced ass you rested there for a few seconds, letting her feel every inch filling her. You soon began to move up and down, pumping your hips at a calm pace at first so that her butthole was stretched and ready for the real frenzy. Aeri quickly tired of your gentleness, and with her face she screamed for you to go faster. You fucked her ass as fast and hard as you could, hands resting on her back under her and also pulling her hair from time to time. Of course, you also filled her with multiple slaps but on her ass, now the red tone of her buttocks matched the one on Jimin's tits. Between hair pulls and brutal pumps, she came, hugging the pillow even tighter and biting it to drown out her screams.

"For the love of god, I definitely won't let these bitches have you so often..." she said between gasps, seeing you with strands of her hair stuck to her face.

"I'm a text away, Uchinaga," you said, leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

"Is it my turn now?" Jimin said from behind you.

You got out of Aeri's ass and turned to look at her.

"Of course," you nodded and spread your arms. "Come here, my spoiled, competitive little whore."

"There I go."

Jimin rushed into your arms and you received her with a warm hug, filling every part of her face with kisses before moving to her lips. You lasted a few long seconds kissing as if you were in one of those cliché romantic movies where the man holds the woman in her arms at the moment when she is about to fall to the ground. It must have been a very funny image for Aeri, it's a shame she couldn't see it because you had destroyed her ass.

After having kissed her enough you laid her on her back and you lay on her stomach between her outstretched legs. On a normal occasion your target would have been her delicious pussy, but this time you focused your attention on her butthole. She brought a hand to your hair and stroked it gently, watching you with bright little eyes as you planted your tongue on her ass.

You made sure that she enjoyed eating her ass as much as you did, which you think you did quite well since she was already twisting her hips slightly while grabbing a tit.

"Are you ready, baby?" you said, looking into her eyes.

She bit her lower lip, and nodded with flushed cheeks.

"Well, this time I'll have to lube myself," you said, bringing a hand to your mouth.

"No!" She interrupted quickly, then spit into her own hand and brought it to your cock to rub it until it had regained its slippery state. When you made the move to guide your cock into her ass yourself. She stopped you once again to do it herself.

"Fuck, you're a good girl, aren't you?" you said in a murmur, looking into her eyes as your tip pressed against her butthole.

"I am for you and only you..." she murmured back. "But don't tell Gigi that."

"I heard it," Aeri said immediately, quietly.

Before Yoo 'Short Tempered' Jimin could argue again, you pushed forward and took your cock inside her tight ass. Any possible response Jimin was going to give Aeri was cut off by a high-pitched squeal of pleasure as she felt your cock fill her ass.

"Please kiss me again," Jimin requested between small moans when your cock was about to reach the bottom.

You leaned forward and she hugged you again, both arms around your neck the moment your lips met again. You pleasured her only for a few seconds, until your cock had already reached the bottom and you had already done the first slow pumps.

Jimin's ass wasn't as experienced and easy to stretch as Aeri's. It required patience. You were willing to have it, after all, the sight of her face flushed and twisted with pleasure made every juicy second that your cock slid in and out of her butthole worth it.

"Are you okay, baby?" you said as you straightened your back, caressing her inner thighs.

She nodded with her eyes closed and her lips pursed.

"I'm fine, love..." she gasped. "You just fuck me, show no mercy. It's an order."

You smiled and gave one of her tits a hard slap. The red was revived. She squealed and opened her eyes to look at you.

"What makes you think you can order me around?"

"I don't care, shut your mouth and obey..."

You put a hand on her neck. You squeezed your fingers tightly, and she automatically brought her hands to hold onto your wrist since you were cutting off her breathing. You moved your hips faster, harder. Now you made her tits bounce subtly.

"Are you sure? Reconsider your answer... come on," you growled, loosening your grip.

"Do..." she swallowed thickly and muffled a moan against her pursed lips. "Do whatever you want with me daddy."

You heard a laugh from Aeri.

"Who's the slut now?" she said, imitating Jimin's exact tone of voice when she told her a few minutes ago.

Once again, you had to deprive her of any option to respond, now bringing both hands to her neck to now fuck her without any kind of mercy, just as she had asked you. Her tits started bouncing faster. She spread her legs wide and moved them as far back as she could, giving you better access to her ass while you fucked her.

You didn't expect that the law that whenever she felt how you filled her with your cum she also came would also apply to her butthole, but hilariously it did. You let go of her neck and she took a sharp breath. At this point she was no longer moaning, she could only let out muffled, incomplete sounds. You held one hand to her waist and with the other you squeezed her tits. Seconds later you came, and the moment you felt a drop of cum inside her, she followed you.

“Mmggh, fuck yes,” Jimin groaned, clenching the sheets on either side of her as you shot cum inside her. "Fill my ass daddy... fill me to the fucking bottom."

Aeri gasped in surprise.

"My god... Jiminie is a cum slut, who was going to say that."

Despite your efforts to make Jimin not respond with words, she did so anyway with actions, smacking Aeri's hand on her thigh to make her squeal. You leaned forward to brush your lips against Jimin's ear.

"She may or may not bother you..." you whispered. "But she's right."

Jimin grabbed you by your neck and also brought her mouth to your ear.

"Yeah, I'm your fucking cum slut..." she whispered back. "But she doesn't have to know."

"I don't think she didn't notice, anyway."

You and she laughed. You stood up, pulling out of her ass to watch your cum spill out of her. You looked at Aeri, and just by meeting your eyes she instantly knew what to do. You moved away and she took your position, she lowered herself down and started eating Jimin's ass, consequently swallowing your cum on the way. You couldn't help but give Aeri another spank while she did it.

When they finished cleaning they looked at you again.

"So, who has the best ass?" Aeri said, clearly expecting only one answer judging by the look on her face.

This time you couldn't just lie, you had to be completely honest. As much as you loved Jimin's ass, Aeri was on a whole other level.

"The winner here will be Aeri," you said, lying down on the corner of the bed to rest.

"Yayyyy!" Aeri screamed to small applause. "I knew it, I kneeeew it."

Contrary to what you thought at first, Jimin didn't seem to care about her defeat in this round. She seemed calm, perhaps aware of what was coming next. She just lay down on a pillow and moved her tits from side to side.

"I don't care, you won't be able to beat me at this, slut," she said, bringing her arms together to squeeze her tits together.

You sighed and closed your eyes.

“Fuck, just let me rest for a moment,” you said. "I feel like I'm going to die at any moment."

For the first time all night, the two of them seemed to agree on something, as they lay down, one on each side of you, to fill you with kisses, cuddles and caresses of all kinds. In short, if heaven existed, it must be something extremely similar to that.

It took about twenty minutes until you were halfway composed.

"Okay," you said as you opened your eyes. "Jiminie, lie down."

Jimin got up from your side and went straight to lay down on the same pillow as before. You also got up and went to straddle her, your recently hard cock again—thanks to the two of them touching it seconds before— floating above her tits.

You placed your cock in the middle of those pair of heavy mounds and she brought her arms together to trap you between them. This time you didn't let her do the honors, you used your own saliva to lubricate your cock and part of her tits. Then, you pumped your hips back and forth. There you didn't have to be patient, so you went straight with frantic pumps over and over again.

Last time it had been Jimin who had fucked you with her tits, but you hadn't had the chance to actually fuck her tits. It was an incredibly pleasurable experience,  like sliding your cock between two pieces of soft, warm meat. You did it for about two minutes. But as much as you loved doing it, you couldn't give her the pleasure of draining you again.

You stopped and got out from between her tits. Jimin looked at you with a frown.

"Huh? What are you doing?" she said.

"I'm sorry, but you've already made me cum twice," you said.

"Inside you," Aeri added. You nodded.

"The fair thing would be to let Aeri make me cum this time."

Jimin rolled her eyes and shook her head, visibly offended when she knew perfectly well that you were right.

You moved towards Aeri, who stopped you before you straddled her lap.

"Nuh uh," she shook her head. "I already know that she beats me in tits, I don't care about that. I just want to make you cum with my thighs."

You raised both eyebrows, surprised at the fact that she left her competitiveness aside for once all night.

"Only if you let me paint your tits and face anyway," you said.

Aeri smiled.

"It's a deal, daddy," she nodded and lay on her side, with both legs out to the side.

When you positioned yourself in front of her and made the gesture of entering between her thighs, she stopped you again and spit on her hand to lubricate your cock with it. When your cock was slippery again she raised one thigh, and when your cock was in the middle of both, she lowered it again to wrap it in a sandwich of thick, tender meat.

"Oh my god..." you gasped, throwing your head back.

You clung to the back of Aeri's knee with one hand and her thigh with the other, using as much downward pressure as possible to feel your cock being smothered by flesh from above and below.

"You love it, don't you?" Aeri said, staring at you.

"Oh fuck yes," you nodded between small grunts.

You pumped slowly at first, just to feel every little detail and texture of her perfect thighs as you slid in and out of them. The sensation was similar to being between Jimin's tits, only it felt much warmer and tighter, as Aeri made sure to keep her thighs as pressed between your cock as possible. It was suffocating to a certain extent, but you didn't mind in the least.

One of your hands came to rest on her waist, but then she quickly went up to her more than decent tits to squeeze them and play with her nipples. Aeri let out small moans as you played with her tits.

"Why don't you put it further to the right?" she said, referring to your cock.

She lifted her thigh and grabbed your cock to position it a few inches further to the right, where it met the silky smooth folds of her plump pussy on the side. She lowered the thigh again, making the meat sandwich once more. You were free to fuck her thighs once more, only this time you had an extra stimulus: her folds rubbing against your cock on the right.

It was kind of embarrassing how quickly that turned out, as you darted out from between her thighs and rose to stand above her, both of your feet on either side of her shoulders. And in true JAV style, you masturbated on top of her to shoot your last jets of cum on her tits and, mainly, her face. Both sides were painted white in a matter of seconds.

Aeri gasped satisfied and licked the cum from her own lips and chin with her tongue.

"Oh god...this feels like heaven to me," she said with a gasp looking at you.

You looked at Jimin, who raised her eyebrows.

"Do I really have to clean her up?" she said.

"Just fucking come here, Jiminie," Aeri said holding out her hand.

Jimin reluctantly took Aeri's hand and let herself be pulled by her. She fell silent on the Japanese woman's body, and both began to share a torrid making out session whose rather secondary objective was to clean the cum from Aeri's face. It took about a minute until Jimin had cleaned both the cum from her face and her tits.

"As you can understand, this is a debate that is impossible to close..." you said between labored breaths. "But I'm happy to continue trying to make you decide."

"Can we spend the night with you?" Jimin said, hugging Aeri from the side.

"Please say yes," Aeri said with a pout, also hugging Jimin and entwining her thighs with hers.

"Please no more sex, that's the only condition," you said, lying down on the other end of the bed. "My tank is emptied”.

"Just now we spent a while giving you kisses and making you a spoiled boy," Jimin said. "Who says we can't do it again all night?"

That was all you needed to hear after going through such daytime garbage. You moved to lie behind Jimin and wrapped them both in a hug. Jimin gave you a kiss on your forearm, and Aeri gave you one on the back of your hand.

You spent the rest of the night looking like a polyamorous relationship in which you were the main focus. You chatted, laughed a lot and told silly stories. Just what you needed to forget, just for a moment, about all the shit that was coming your way.

----------------------------------------------

As always. Thanks for reading! MASTERLIST HERE!

[brucewaynehater101]

I need you to stop me from making another Tim Drake centric fic

I got this random idea that won’t leave me alone

like what if the emotional scars and trauma people have show up physically too most commonly as little cracks on the skin and all of the bats have them

they hide them tho with make up and stuff so people don’t question it except Tim hides them from everyone maybe bc that’s what his parents taught him to do maybe bc he just doesn’t want to burden any of the bats

the bats think that Tim is fine so to them he’s invincible which leads them to treat him as such subconsciously or otherwise especially Bruce

it takes a lot for something to be bad enough that they physically manifest and Tim has A LOT bc everyone thinks he’s invincible

:) it won’t leave me alone help me I beg of you

Hmm.... Let's add on, shall we? This is a very rad idea. You should definitely write a fic about it, but no pressure.

Mind if I explore it? Also, feel free to disregard any part below you don't want/disagree with. This is just brainstorming ^^

Alright. Emotional scars are a physical mark on someone's skin.

Similar to regular scars, they can fade as a person heals.

Some may never disappear, and some only appear for a short time.

What would their color be?

Would they look like actual cracks in a person (so black-ish in color)? Would they be gold or multi-colored (different colors represent different kinds of emotional traumas)?

The level of hurt inflicted is directly proportional to the size (length and width) of the scar.

Perhaps more could be deduced from the general shape (is it jagged? A single line? Branching?)

Not all people have these marks

Most of the population manifests them. There's some prejudice against folk who don't [something something they are heartless, incapable of feelings, not able to be emotionally hurt, cold, detached, etc.], but hiding scars is also common. Therefore, it's harder to discern whether someone is hiding their marks or markless. It's a very fine line, so most people allow a smaller mark to show every once in a while. There's even a few trends to proudly display all marks.

Marks appear at the time of the emotional harm

It may not be apparent at the time due to the location, but the individual being hurt will manifest the mark at the very moment of emotional harm.

Anyways, that's the background stuff. Fun, but let's get into Tim specifically ^^

Tim's parents are part of the few who believe that showing off your scars to anyone, even your loved ones, is both a weakness and a way to guilt-trip people. Therefore, through their archeology studies, they managed to obtain magical objects to prevent the showing of emotional marks. It's similar to glamor.

Tim's object can change forms to suit his needs (so a ring at one moment and an earring the next). This ability prevents the Bats from discovering it.

Janet fakes a very small mark on her hand when she wants to discourage any rumors that's she's incapable of manifesting marks. For Tim, though, his parents wanted him to have rumors of being incapable of forming marks. It served their purpose better for him being the cunning Drake heir.

The deception started from birth, so no one but the Drakes know of Tim's ability to form marks [and the Drake parents never see the marks they leave behind on their child].

The Waynes, long before Tim entered their life, were aware of these rumors. Thus, when Tim demands to become Robin, he doesn't correct their assumptions.

Bruce is a callous fucker to Tim at the start. If Tim can't be hurt emotionally, then Bruce's ill-treatment of him is fine (which is flawed logic. The markless can be emotionally hurt, and they still deserve kindness, dignity, and respect even if they couldn't. Bruce was mentally fucked up, but it doesn't excuse his treatment).

Eventually, Bruce comes to the second realization that Tim should still be treated well even if it doesn't hurt him regardless. The man's behavior is better, but he still has the notion in mind that Tim can't be emotionally hurt. He uses this for missions and to downplay the way his other kids treat Tim (specifically Jason and Damian when they first meet Tim).

Tim gets used to a rotation of insult-names: Robot Robin, heartless, markless (said insultingly), cold-blooded, unfeeling bastard, etc.

He's also subject to a TON of misunderstandings. People are more reluctant to love him due to the belief that he can't love them back. He gets yelled at and told off for "masking/faking his emotions" when he's actually being genuine.

Which adds to his hurt :)

He also has to pretend not to grieve his parents when they die :(

Due to how rare markless are, the Bats don't meet "another" one until after the BruceQuest. When they chat with this person, they realize how many misconceptions they have about them (such as the markless being incapable of feelings. In fact, they accidentally offend that person when they tell the other they don't need to fake their emotions in front of the Bats. Safe to say, the markless individual becomes incensed when they realize how they've been treating their own markless family member).

This would be at least four (probably closer to five) years after Tim first became Robin. The entire family has a meltdown.

Tim, on the other hand, is used to the treatment the Bats have been giving him and becomes incredibly uncomfortable with them trying to care for his feelings and whatnot. It's rocky for a long while as everyone tries to seek forgiveness for something Tim bitterly doesn't hold against them (he is lying to them after all).

Tim rarely, if ever, views his own marks. The last time he checked was when he was having his identity crisis after Robin was taken from him. His entire body, from head to toe, had cracks in it. There was a giant, gaping crack on his back for the metaphorical stab in the back it was.

And we haven't even gotten to when the Bats figure out Tim was never markless :)

[adoregojo]

secret admirer.

hihihihihihihihi, i cannot believe i actually slept for two days in a row? wth? and also that i never did this kind of posts? im such a lazy bum mb yall, I promise I'll write a real fic soon. summary: bllk characters as your secret admirers: isagi, bachira, chigiri, reo. how they fell, what do they do, how did they confess.

isagi.y

him. just him.

you once held his shirt collar to stop him from planting flatly on the floor.

and when you walked away, you walked with his heart in your palms.

yea, just like that

but honestly, isagi himself didn't knew he was such a big sap inside

and the moment he realised you two shared a few classes was the second he almost kneeled and thanked the sky itself for this.

an absolute swoon from looking at your side profile.

he once was long gone within the abyss of daydreaming about you, he genuinely just couldn't look away.

then got called out by the teacher for being too distracted.

definitely prayed that you didn't see that.

writes your name unintentionally in his notebook.

gets so embarrassed about it later and rips the paper.

still dose it again the next day and almost ripped the whole book apart form cringing at himself.

he once was musing over you too much to the point that your name slipped out unwittingly on the dinner table.

his parents couldn't stop teasing him about it, wondering when they would see you walking down their house door.

leaves love notes in your locker almost everyday.

it's something short and simple like: "you look pretty today."

then when he goes home he'll realize how dumb that was because you literally look the prettiest everyday.

dumb, dumby.

takes time to make the first move though.

he just feels like you're way, farther away from his reach.

it's okay, he still considers himself lucky to be one of those who got admire you.

he just hoped you saw him behind all of them, even if it was a glance.

chigiri.h

omgg pretty boyyy

despite chigiri being a confident and self-reliant, the trigger words of his old injury was like a pulling a pin of a grenade to his still-raw sorrowness. something that'll always haunt him.

and what dose he dare to say when they were nothing but truthful? like a salt to his wounds, he tends to just take it and suck it up, or at least try to ignore it for his sake.

but everything flipped when you stood up for him.

from that moment on. chigiri knew that he was far a goner.

out of everyone here he's definitely the most romantic one.

reads all your favourite books and analysis it.

probably named a cat after you.

like isagi he writes love letters for you.

just a little too poetic..

it it's short then it's something like: "loving you is like breathing." or "i hope your days are filled with the same joy you give me with your existence only."

but mostly is: "my definition of love, i see the true meaning of living behind your hue of life. you shall lighten my soul with your existence alone, i was born to see you shin each day, witnessing you is a blessing from heaven itself. the day that i stop seeing you as the owner of the stars is the day my body shall vanish, yet my soul will know it way back to you. from your only and one your admirer."

what a lovesick clown.

he might be a smooth talker on the outside, but trust me the butterflies of sentimental keeps on swirling in his stomach on the sight of you.

told his mother and sister about you.

it was his biggest regrets.

because the next day his sister shouted your name in a demand for you to spend the night for the 'meeting of the future in law'.

he had to physically drag her back to the car, freaking embarrassing.

couldn't meet your eyes for a while after that.

wants to hold your hand.

like, really badly.

it's just that feeling your skin against his cold, pristine hands must've feel like the loveliest, cosiest thing.

the thoughts alone are making him go crazy.

he confessed first, just couldn't help himself.

he just hoped if you would go to the end of the world alongside with him.

bachira.m

the sunshine boy himself.

the definition of fell first AND fell harder.

it all started when the class was ordered to work as duo for a project, something he always despised.

you may say that because bachira was definitely not having the word 'smart' in his book, you'd be right actually.

but mainly since no one really wanted to group up with him.

it was embarrassing, to just sit there and wait to be picked was putting him under the lights that pointed him out as the most pitiful creature in the room.

then you pocked him on the shoulder, and asked him if he wanted to be your partner.

and when he didn't see the sarcasm reeking from you, he knew he tripped hard, and couldn't find it anywhere in his feet to back him up.

it was strange, bachira never had a company, let alone a crush.

but the signs were there, and were painfully vulnerable.

painted you in art class multiple times; you with a smile, you reading a book, you sniffing a sunflower.

maybe also you and him... holding hands or hugging...

stares at your face a way, way too long.

he tells himself it's to crave your features better and detailed.

even he doesn't believe that however.

he draws your eyes a lot.

his second favourite colour is your eyes hue.

he was never the best at writing romantic poems, and his hand writing is just........

so he insisted gets you a gift!

which is a rock.

yes you heard me, rock.

he would even paint a little face with a smile on it and leave it on your desk by the end of the day.

almost went bald from joy when you had it hanging as a small march on your bag.

and when you had a bad day, that goes unnoticed by him.

so imagine your surprise when you would find two pairs of rocks, one kissing the other who had a sad expression on it face.

that somehow that foster a blissful smile on your face. like that little action extinct any remains of the past negative you carried.

and bachira was more than happy to be the reason for your happiness.

definitely rambles about you to his mom.

and his monster.

he once ha a dream about you two smooching.

cried when he woke up because he wanted it to be real more than anything.

you two confessed first, at the same time.

and boy was he dancing on cloud nine at it.

he almost smooch you that moment and then.

reo.m

it's mister perfect everyone, cheer.

you fell first, he fell harder.

no, literally. you fell. tripped flat on the floor.

and somehow, that made the reo mikage heart move.

?????????

love at first (fall??) sight.

he definitely leaves a trail of gifts for you everywhere.

your chair, desk, locker, bag.

he switches between chocolate and flowers to letters and perfumes, necklaces, etc..

you say how he picked them?

easy, see something that reminds him of you, he buys.

and it's pretty foolish since he sees you in almost everything.

reo is convinced that you're within everything that shins beautifully.

he actually paid the teachers to let him be in the same classroom as you.

paid even more to get a seat next to you.

rip to whoever was sitting next to you.

he once heard that a guy was bothering you.

the next day the guy was the talking of school because he suddenly moved out of town due to his dad losing his job.

hm, must be karma then.

has a shrine of you.

but you didn't hear that from me.

talks about you none stop to nagi and ba-ya.

genuinely sobbed when he imagined you with someone else.

has a flight under your name.

made a makeshift doll of you so he can practice his confessions on.

had a mental breakdown of the idea of you rejecting him.

reo can the most horrible, miserable day to a human kind to live.

then he sees you smiling

BOOM

he's all happy and smiling again, also a little giddy.

you once greeted him good morning, the next day he was planing what ring would suit you the most.

had two planes to write on the sky: 'will you go out with me?' and your name next to it in a shade of a heart.

now, you definitely cannot reject that. (Please don't)

have a nice day everyone.

[cyberm4n]

HI I LOVED UR HYPERSEXUAL FEM READER HEADCANONS UR WRITING IS SO GOOD

Soo I'm here to request the vees (mainly vox but idc) x hypersexual Fem reader pleasee 😭🙏

if not that's okay and I hope you have a nice day/night!! feel free to delete this lol

-xoxo, Ari

THANK YOU <3333 i love the vees and ive been looking for an excuse to write them so this is perfect

vees with hypersexul reader

going with the same scenario as last time- you've just finished a round and (char) is spent but you're already ready to go again

《— vox —》

■ he seems like a 2 rounds kinda guy so after that second round and yall are just laying there he is SPENT

■ so when you roll over to lay on his chest like "one more time?" with a little smile on your face, as if yall did not just violently fuck it takes him a moment

■ he's spent, so spent. but he really wants to please you

■ he'd get used to it tbh. like he's mentally prepared everytime now but maybe sometimes he can do a round 3

■ he'd resort to toys i think, only the best for his girl <3

■ there's also something he loves about getting to hold you and watch you writhe in pleasure and he just gets to watch

■ he'd always take your preferences into mind with toys too. like if you want smth specific he's got it for you

■ i feel like he might prefer if yall are spent at the same time so the foreplay goes CRAZY

■ like it's not just foreplay it's actual rounds of getting you to cum before the main event yk

■ or sometimes he'll just ask if it'd be okay to be done for the night when he is

■ he doesn't mind either way but he'd definitely want to communicate about it

■ so yeah it might take him a little bit to adjust bit he'd be just fine!

《— valentino —》

■ okay let's be real this man fucks A LOT so he can probably do like. 3 or 4 lengthy rounds before he's tapped out

■ it's making me giggle about it but like okay val is a kinky guy, and like especially if the first time yall do anything it's a little bit rougher he is SHOCKED when you're down for more

■ he's prly into something like overstim where normally you kinda gotta reel from it after so when he's done and it takes you like. a minute or two to be like "do you wanna do it again?" he judt looks down at you so confused

■ he takes a moment, blinking. he'd definitely ask if you're kidding or smth and then finding out you're not he has to take a moment

■ like, he finds it fucking awesome but jesus christ he's finally met hsi match

■ he might use toys on you or go down on you, depends how he's feeling tbh

■ i think he'd lean towards going down on you, idk he just seems like he'd be a bit of a munch.

■ and if you're okay with it when yall fuck in the future he's constantly just seeing how far you can go before you're spent

■ long story short he's totally chill abt it when he gets used to it and thinks it's fucking great

《— velvette —》

■ okay im literally giggling and kicking my feet while typing this

■ she seems like a 2 or 3 round kind of gal

■ idk femxfem sex doesn't really go in rounds ime but like. yk.

■ so after she's spent, she's like so ready to cuddle up and sleep. but then you're caressing her cheek, nuzzling into her neck. "again?" you murmur and she has to take a moment

■ cause like, she's just super surprised you're still ready for another.

■ she'd ask the most questions abt it. like she'd want to just know more so she can support you better

■ she'd go down on you tho! anytime! she definitely has toys but she seems like the type to be more inclined to eat you out

■ if she gets tired of that she'd use a toy on you. but she stays engaged the whole time, super attentive.

■ she's a service switch so like getting to keep you pleased like this makes her feel good and she doesn't mind at all

■ once again, all of them would embrace it and they do not mind at all!

■ if you guys with the poly hc for the vees i think it just makes it so much better for them to know it's really hard to burn you out

■ i loved this request ty <3

taglist: @reaper-of-light-12 @mxxny-lupin @wisteria-songs @t3llas @concentratedconcrete @pansexual-opera-house @dionysusismypatrongod

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[astupidweeb69]

The Roommate (Dark!Ticci Toby x F!Reader)

NSFW One-shot

Author's note: This is my first time writing smut, so sorry if this turned out bad. It's also way longer than I thought, hopefully there aren't any spelling errors. Cross posted on my AO3 account.

Warnings: Swearing. Toby being creepy, he hurts the reader, blood kink? unprotected sex, creampie, biting, it's just... a lot. (4,519 words) - Minors DNI!

___________________________________________________________

Your brother hated his new roommate.

From what you gathered from the phone calls you two had, you knew he kept to himself, was kind of creepy and left the occasional mess in the kitchen. Your brother had tried to include him when he went out with his other college friends, but he always refused. The guy was gone at odd hours during the night, and smelled like dirt and pine.

You told him it was his own fault for posting an ad for a roommate on Craigslist.

It wasn’t all bad though. He paid his rent on time, always in cash - which he slipped under your brother's bedroom door at the end of every month. Plus, he had insisted on not signing any formal documentation. The lease they had was just a last minute document drawn up for a short term stay. 

Your brother would only have to put up with him for 6 months. Then he’d be gone.

But hey, beggars can’t be choosers. And your brother needed someone to pick up part of the rent last minute.

After a few months it had seemed like he’d grown accustomed to the strange ‘twitchy’ man he lived with, that is, until you told him your plans to visit.

You finally got some time off, and it was the only chance you’d get to see him. So when all the hotels in the area were fully booked you were not about to give up. And….your brother’s place had a perfectly good couch available, right?

He was reluctant at first, but after much pleading, he finally agreed.

On one condition.

Stay away from Toby.

You figured he was just being overprotective. It was kind of sweet, but he’d never been that adamant about you not talking to someone before. There must have been something seriously messed up with the guy. And to be perfectly honest, it made you second guess whether you’d actually go through with the trip out there.

But you already bought the plane ticket, and you couldn’t let that money go to waste.

So now you sat in the passenger seat of your brother's truck, the two of you making idle chit chat as he drove you back to his place from the airport. 

He talked about school, the classes he was taking, what parties he’d been going to, and fraternities he’d been considering joining. That last part earned him some of your teasing about becoming a beer pong loving, “Frat Bro”.

Only after a few beats of silence, you decided to ask him something that had been bugging you since your arrival. 

“Your roommate knows I’m staying at your place, right?”

It was a simple enough question. The last thing you wanted was to intrude on someone else’s living space after all.

You saw your brother grip the steering wheel harder. “Yeah. Toby should know you’re coming.” His response was curt and lacking his previous joyful tone.

“You two fighting or something?” 

Your brother sighed. “No just,” He paused for a moment, and glanced at you. “He’s been acting weirder than usual.”

“Weird how?” 

He didn’t say anything for a while, instead mulling over his choice of words. Not wanting to scare you, but still wanting to give you a heads up of the situation. “He’s been talking to himself. A lot.”

“That’s not that bad. Lots of people do that.” You don’t know why you felt the need to defend a person you hadn’t met yet.

Another pause. This one is longer than before.

“You haven’t heard what he’s been saying.”

______________________________________________________________

The road ahead was dark, lit up by the dim headlights of the car. The only thing out here now was trees, broken up by the occasional house. It was definitely far from campus.

The driveway was gravel, the truck rocking back and forth from the potholes and uneven terrain, finally coming to a stop in front of the house. Painted a dull plain white, one story, rather small, but it would do. It’s not like you were expecting a mansion.

After the car came to a stop, you grabbed your luggage from the backseat, following your brother to the front door where he quickly unlocked it. 

The living room was sparsely decorated, with an old brown couch in the center, a small television and a coffee table littered with cans and half finished drinks.

It completely lacked a homey vibe. Definitely felt like a typical bachelor pad. You nudged his shoulder. “I love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Hey, I’m not majoring in interior design.” Your brother shot back, beginning to walk away past the kitchen, calling out to you. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

Your eyebrows furrowed with a look of disappointment.  “Already? I thought we’d, like…. watch TV or something?”

“Next time don’t get such a late flight.” His face stretched into a yawn. “There’s plenty of blankets in the closet. Try not to make too much noise.” Disappearing behind the door of his bedroom, he left you standing in the room alone with your bags.

Time for bed I guess. 

You sprawled yourself out on the couch, placing a pillow on the armrest, and rolled out the fuzzy blanket you’d found over your body. You turned to face the front door. The room was pitch black, with a few beams of moonlight split up by the venetian blinds.

You picked up your phone from the coffee table by your side, figuring you could watch a few videos before you fell asleep.

The screen lit up, temporarily blinding you before your eyes adjusted. Mindlessly, you scrolled through youtube to find a thumbnail that would spark any interest.

You were about to click one, when you heard someone at the front door. Your eyes widened briefly, and you quickly shut your phone off. You don’t know why. It wasn’t like you were a kid and your mom was coming into your room to see if you were actually asleep. But it felt like you needed to shut your eyes.

So you did.

The door opened slowly, whoever it was trying to remain undetected. 

However, the scent that followed gave them away immediately. You actually had to stop yourself from reacting. It was a mixture of BO, dirt, and something else. Something dead.

Without even having to look, you knew it was Toby.

Footsteps, careful and calculated. The floorboards creaking. 

You waited for him to walk by, expecting him to go to his room so you could continue playing on your phone.

But he didn’t.

The movements stopped halfway through, and you heard him, on the balls of his feet, making his way over to the couch you were on.

The fuck?

You felt your throat dry up. You wanted to swallow down your nerves, but you couldn’t react. You had to continue pretending, right?

You could hear him, his voice low and soft, like velvet. A boyish tone, the occasional word being broken up by some kind of stutter, muttering things you couldn’t make out.

He stopped when he got to your side, standing right in front of your face. 

If you opened your eyes right now you’d probably see him peering down. His jeans dirty and torn, honey brown stare filled with curiosity, looking at the glimpses of your curves that peaked through the blanket on top of you.

A hand reached out. 

Cold, yet somehow clammy… texture rough and calloused. 

He was touching you. 

He was touching your face.

Don’t move. Don’t you dare even flinch.

“M-must be the ssss-sister…”

That was the first clear sentence you could understand.

He retracted his hand. But you could still hear him, the heavy breathing. 

His whispering.

“Soft”

Then he left.

Only afterwards did you realize you’d been holding your breath.

______________________________________________________________

“You look awful.” Your brother commented when he saw you the next morning.

It was true that you barely slept that night, made obvious by the bags under your eyes, and the change in your complexion. The interaction with the stranger, the one you’d been warned of,  had plagued your mind, stirring up thoughts that kept you awake. 

You grabbed a coffee mug, pouring yourself a glass, before joining your brother at the kitchen table.

From this angle, you had a clear view of the hallway. There were three doors, one must have led to the bathroom, and the other remaining two were the bedrooms. 

You only stared at one of the doors though. The one leading to Toby’s room. 

You knew, at some point he’d emerge and you’d finally be able to put a face to the name. A face to the hand that touched you.

For a moment, you wondered if you should tell your brother what happened. He’d probably flip out, maybe even confront the man. 

So, despite your better judgment, you decided to keep it to yourself. 

He only touched your face. Sure, it was creepy as hell, but you didn’t want to cause a fight during your vacation.

Your brother clapped his hands together, getting your attention. 

“So listen!” He grinned widely. “We gotta plan out the strategy for tonight.”

“Strategy?” You asked hesitantly.

“Yeah strategy. There’s a party I want to go to. Kappa Alpha is hosting it.” 

You tsked, sipping your coffee. “You realize I don’t know anything about the frats here. Is that like… a popular one or?”

He nodded. “Yeah it is. I’ve been trying to get into this one for a while now, so getting the invite is a big deal.”

You frowned. You were already so tired, and the idea of going to a kegger was not exactly on your ‘to do’ list. But it was important to him. So you complied.

“Okay. What time does it-”

A door opened. You stopped talking.

Your eyes widened to look over towards the sound. 

Toby was up.

The first thing you noticed was a mop of dark brown hair, unkempt, with curls that went in every direction. It was slightly greasy too, he clearly hadn’t showered in a while. There was light stubble on his jawline, and his skin was a sickly, almost gray color. A snake bite graced his lower lip, and there were a few more pieces of metal sticking out the cartilage of his ears.

He shuffled forward, looking tired, still in a pair of plaid green pajama bottoms and a t-shirt with little alien faces on them.

Once he made it into the kitchen, Toby finally glanced over. You looked away immediately, embarrassed that you were caught staring.

He was handsome. You hated to admit it. But he was. You pushed the thought out of your head, reminding yourself of who he was.

“Muh-morning….” He croaked out.

Your brother gave a little nod, just enough to acknowledge him, turning back to you while Toby started toasting a poptart.

“It starts at 9, but we should show up at 10 o'clock. I don’t want to look too eager.”

“Whuh-what starts at 9?” Toby interjected.

Both you and your brother looked at him, before nervously meeting each other's gaze.

“Oh uh!” Your brother stammered. “Just another party.” He motioned over to you with his thumb. “This is my sister, (Y/N), by the way.”

Toby’s eyes bore into yours. You swallowed, trying to give him a polite, reassuring smile.

“Nice to meet you…. Toby, right?” 

You acted unsure. Like you didn’t know his name by heart. Like you hadn’t had your brother vent to you about him for hours over the phone. 

“Yuh-yeah. That’s right.” He looked back at your brother. “Is the puh-party tonight?”

“Yeah it’s at a frat house. Did you…” He hesitated, before finally asking him. “Want to come?”

Toby bit his poptart, shrugging his shoulders. “I've guh-got nothing better tuh-to do.” The twitching man looked back at you, wiping some crumbs from his lip. He didn’t have emotion behind his eyes, just a weird intense focus on your face.

You pretended to be unbothered. 

It didn’t work.

He noticed.

And he liked the way you squirmed.

______________________________________________________________

Toby stayed in his room the rest of the day. Occasionally going into the kitchen, grabbing a snack, usually some kind of junk food, before he’d scurry back into his little cave.

You started getting ready as soon as the sun went down. It’d been a while since you’d been to a party and you wanted to look your best. Or look like you got a full 8 hours of sleep at the very least.

Toby said he’d meet you guys there. Saying something about how he needed ‘to take care of something first’. No one questioned him. Both you and your brother glad not to have to share a car ride with him.

Loud bumping music, the kind that shook a house and pounded in your chest, enveloped you when you walked inside the frat house. 

Flashing lights, a crowd in the middle of the dancefloor jumping up and down. The air was hot from too many people in a room at once. You could barely move through them all to get to the bar.

God you were going to need a drink to get through this.

Maybe even a couple.

Especially after your brother left you alone to go mingle.

One tequila shot, then two maybe three rum and cokes later. You didn’t even know how long you’d been there. Time seemed to freeze. There was only the music, only the dancing, only the bodies moving against you.

You felt hot. Your cheeks burned, and it wasn’t just from the temperature of the room anymore. The room spinned a little when you walked forward. Not enough to consider yourself completely wasted though. But enough to feel…. Friendlier.

More social.

Less inhibited. 

Numb.

After a lot of struggling, you made your way to the back of the room. 

You leaned against a wall, catching your breath, holding a red solo cup in your hand.  You could hear people trying to hold conversations by shouting over the music. 

And there were plenty of people making out. In fact, you’d say the majority of people were just straight up groping each other.

It made you a little jealous if you were being honest with yourself.

You looked around, wondering if maybe you could find someone cute. You didn’t intend on getting lucky or anything, but it would sure beat just standing there like an idiot. When was the last time you even kissed somebody?

Finally, you locked on to someone across the room. Someone with honey brown eyes. Someone familiar.

Toby.

He grinned when your eyes met. It was the first time you’d seen him do that. Large toothy canine’s, that bandage on his cheek shifting slightly. 

Oh god you felt your heart flutter.

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t. There was something wrong with him. Your brother didn’t like him. Nobody did.

He creeped you out.

He didn’t shower. 

He smelled like death. 

You listed the reasons out, and damn if there weren’t a lot of them. But in the end it didn’t matter. In the end, it was painfully, woefully, obvious what was going to happen.

And you were already walking over there.

You slithered over to his side, sweating, peering up at him through your eyelashes. Trying to look cute. Desirable.

It was working. 

He could’ve eaten you up if you gave him the chance. 

But you didn’t know that.

You fiddled with the end of your skirt, the jacket you originally wore tied around your waist. A flush on your cheeks, you let your hand gently touch his shoulder.

“H-hey… glad to see you made it.”

He tilted his head to the side, leaning down to hear you better. It made your stomach stir with excitement, he made you feel small kneeling down like that. But you liked it. Liked that he was paying attention to you, and only you.

“Whuh-what did you say?” His breath was hot on your cheek. Using the loud music as an excuse to get closer, to touch your skin. Making the hair on your neck stick up.

You breathed heavily in his ear on purpose. “I said, I’m glad you made it.”

Toby’s lips parted, not responding at first, but not moving away either. “Oh? Yuh-yeah?” He sounded amused, voice lowering an octave. “Excited to suh-see little ole’ muh-me?” 

It was kind of a stupid, cheesy thing to say. Like he didn’t really know how to flirt, but maybe saw a couple movies and memorized the lines. But it somehow worked for him.

“Oh, I’m sure nothing about you is little.”

Why did you say that?

Why?

It just came out naturally. Oh god, now your face felt flushed from embarrassment.

You felt him touch the side of your face. He chuckled, a low rumble in his chest, it sounded heavenly.

“Yuh-you know, I’m having trouble huh-hearing you.” He paused looking around, making sure no one was watching. You wondered why. 

“Do you want to go somewhere more private?”

That was enough to make heat travel between your thighs. 

Fuck. 

One meek nod from you was all he needed, before grabbing your wrist tightly.

Too tight, like he was unaware he could hurt you. Or maybe he liked causing a little pain?

He dragged you upstairs, practically lifting you with one arm, you felt like you were gliding over the steps. The muscles of his arms barely flexing under that hoodie of his, as if you were weightless.

He was strong. 

You both traveled through the hallway, careful not to bump into anyone loitering in the hall. Some of the other party goers shooting you looks, but they were mostly directed towards Toby. They weren’t judging you or anything. In fact, they looked worried, maybe even a little scared. You started to wonder more about him. What was his reputation like if this was everyone’s reaction to him? Or perhaps he really just looked that scary. 

So why did he turn you on? 

He pushed you into an unoccupied room and flicked the light switch on.

You barely registered him locking the door behind him.

With one shove of his palm he pushed you backwards onto the bed. Your arms flailed a bit out of instinct, falling down on the mattress with an ‘oof’.

You swallowed thickly, watching him eye the way your legs had parted slightly. Your skirt hiking up dangerously on your thighs. You had to fight the urge to close them.

“Yuh-you look scared.” That velvet, sweet, voice of his was twisted by something sick. 

“Are you?” His head cocked to the side, a wolfish grin on his face.

“Yes.” Was your reply. You didn’t feel like you could lie to him now. Feeling too exposed to even think straight.

He licked his lips, slowly approaching you. His fingers danced across your shoulders, traveling down your arms, sending goosebumps down your spine. They were cold and calloused, just like you remembered from the night before. 

“Then whuh-why did you follow me here?” He cupped the side of your face, his thumb grazing across your bottom lip. You were going to respond, but he quickly shoved his finger in your mouth, gagging you. He wanted you to suck on them, but he didn’t communicate that well. “Why duh-did you….approach me?”

You let your tongue glide over his finger. His eyes narrowed, watching your face, before he started talking to himself. “Fuckin’ stuh-stupid.”

You paused. Was he talking about you? 

“Should be whuh-working tonight…” He muttered. “Target just downstairs…. Ssss-so easy…this better be worth it…..” Toby chuckled to himself like he just told a joke.

You didn’t understand what was going on. Should you just ignore him and continue? 

Toby retracted his hand from your mouth.

“Sss-so pretty….” He pushed your back onto the bed, crawling over you, his broad chest heaving, face pink and eyes lidded. Pupils dilated with lust. “So…. suh-soft….(Y/N)....” 

You shivered when he said your name like that, feeling your panties dampen even more than before. Especially when he started running a large hand up your inner thigh.

You let out a shaky breath.

“Yuh-you like it when I touch you…. I know you do…” Your eyes flickered down at him, letting him continue his ramblings, Toby’s face breaking into another evil looking smile. “Luh-letting me touch you last nuh-night…. Pretending to be asleep.”

Your stomach dropped. You couldn’t hide it in your face, he fucking knew. 

He fucking knew the whole time. 

He burst out laughing at your expression. “Yuh-you’re still not even telling me to stuh-stop now!” Toby gripped your hip with one of his hands, lifting up the hem of your shirt with the other. 

Before you knew it, he tossed the fabric over to the corner. 

Your bra was next. 

In any other circumstances you might’ve found it cute, or funny, when he struggled with the clasp. But something told you pointing it out to him wouldn’t have been a good idea. 

He groaned at the sight of your exposed torso, immediately diving into your tits. Your nipples perked at the attention. 

He was right. You weren’t stopping him. Your body screamed at you to. The smell of dirt and grime, of all things dead and decaying, it permeated off of him the more he touched you.

Toby’s mouth latched on to your left breast, the other gripped tightly in his hand. You knew you’d have bruises there tomorrow. You didn’t care. 

He licked and nipped at the tender flesh, the swell of your tits heaving, your head thrown back and lips parted, letting out soft moans here and there.

A noticeable bulge grinded against your leg, as he huffed, humping himself against you like a dog. 

After a while, he finally lifted his head up. 

Toby looked you in the eye, grinning, licking your nipple teasingly one last time, before his attention moved to your skirt. 

His hands searched your sides for a zipper, he grunted out of irritation when he couldn’t find it immediately. 

You took the opportunity to gently put a hand over his, guiding it to where it was. “Here.” You said softly. “Let me help you.”

His eyes snapped up to your face when you touched him. 

Immediately, his lips crashed onto yours. Needy, desperate, quickly shoving his tongue down your throat. You kissed back, swirling your tongue around his, ignoring the weird taste of metal coming from his mouth. His breath was hot and heavy, kisses sloppy. You doubted he got much practice, but he seemed to be learning quickly.

He made up for it with enthusiasm.

Finally pulling away, you both unzipped your skirt together. Lifting your hips off the bed, you shimmyed them down your legs, Toby watching in fascination.

“I’m guh-gonna fuck you.” He stated matter of factly. Then he whispered something that made your blood run cold. 

“...Fuck you bloody.”

Shit this guy was scary.

In a few seconds, he ripped his hoodie off, along with his shirt. His chest was heavily scarred, a noticeable slash starting from his left side over to his shoulder, and a dark happy trail rising up from the waistband of his jeans.

You didn’t comment on it, but it was worrisome. You could only imagine what would cause someone to get hurt so badly and so often.

That said, Toby was definitely toned. A bit sickly looking, but his muscles had just a hint of a six pack formed. Maybe he did more exercise than you initially thought. 

He kicked off his jeans next, unceremoniously pulling his boxers down, revealing himself to you. Lazily, he stroked himself, a thick layer of precum smearing down his shaft. It was long, veiny, but not very girthy. A flushed red tip, looking painfully hard.

You pulled down your panties slowly, already soaked, and ready. The anticipation was killing you, but you wanted to make him wait for it. His Adam's apple bobbed watching you, and you liked reveling in his stares.

“Guh-gonna split you in two…” Toby murmured, to no one in particular.

He hooked his arm under one of your legs, his body shivering with need, pulling your hips against him. He glided his shaft over your cunt, rubbing your clit slowly. He noticed you tense, how you whimpered slightly, and how your slick covered him more at the action. Looking in awe like it was some revelation to him.

Toby licked his lips, before finally enveloping himself in your heat. 

It was quick. Like he was slamming a drawer shut, but he immediately bottomed out. You gritted your teeth in pain, before crying out when he started viciously pounding into you. 

It fucking hurt. It hurt a lot.

“Shit..! Tuh-tight!”

Obviously, your muscles had tensed around him, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden fullness of his cock stuffing you. Unable to adjust.

You whimpered when he didn’t let up, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. A dull ache between your legs as he continued thrusting. The wet sound of skin slapping together coming from where the two of you were joined, burying his face in your neck, breathing in your scent.

Toby inhaled sharply, before you felt his mouth open wide.

Teeth broke through your skin instantly, a warm liquid dripping down your neck.

You screamed.

You screamed louder than you ever have in your life.

You screamed bloody fucking murder.

“Toby!” Clawing at his back, trying to get him to stop, you started crying. “Toby! Please!”

Luckily for you, he released his jaw to call out “(Y-Y/N)!” Not understanding your cries weren’t from pleasure.

It egged him on, encouraged him. His pelvis slamming into yours, with no let up, your tits bouncing at the force. Itching his fingers to your clit, he rubbed it in harsh circular movements, making you tighten around him.

You babbled nonsense. Finally some of the pain subsiding for pleasure, and maybe it was the lingering effects of alcohol, or the slight blood loss, but you felt a buzzing in your head. Basically incoherent, the faster he went. The brutal, bruising speed.

The way he gripped your breast, the way his hand remained on your pearl, trying his best to get you to finish, but not quite knowing how. 

Something started to build. 

More and more.

Hearing him growl, pant, like an animal. It was doing something to you.

You moaned loudly, wrapping your legs around him. The coil snapping, muscle spasming, pulling his cock in deeper, triggering his own climax. 

His hips stuttered against you, letting out a gasp. A warmth filling you, Toby completely emptying himself inside with a deep groan, eyes rolling back in his head. 

He gave a few sloppy, slow thrusts, before finally rolling off, and onto the bed next to you.

His cum leaking out of your cunt and staining the sheets.

Everything went blank for a moment, realization only just settling in. The gravity of the situation, the blood on your neck.

And an arm wrapped around your shoulders, drawing you close.

“I knew you’d be worth the truh-trouble.”