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sebstanseabass · 3 years ago

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Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 7

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER SEVEN

Lunch with Bucky was spent in a little Italian place right across the bar. It belonged to a seventy-year old Italian immigrant named Marco who invested in it with nothing but his savings when he first came to New York. Fifteen years later, his little dining place stood still through its ups and downs. In fact, business was getting stronger for Marco ever since the bar opened. His target customers expanded from fellow immigrants to little boys who played soccer in the little league and finally to drunk bastards who wanted pizza in the middle of the night. He also started putting up a 24/7 sign and hired more people to work for him. Marco gave me a sympathetic smile as soon as he passed by you with a bottle of hot sauce he knew you liked.

"Where's the hunk?" His Italian accent never faltered. "Ditched ya?"

Lunch with Bucky was also cut short when he received a phone call from Leonard about an emergency in the White Wolf. "It's Leonard." He said. "Gotta get back to the hotel." Then you slipped in a tiny question, seeing a different phone on his hand: "Is that your phone? I thought you left it in your penthouse, that's why you crashed into our apartment."

"I borrowed Peter's old phone when we did our little fiancè act back there. Then I got my phone back after I ate all that food."

"And here you are again eating."

"Not anymore, I'm not." He chuckled, getting up from the chair and throwing his napkin gently on the table. "I gotta go, doll. Duty awaits. I'll see you around."

You were left there with two plates of pasta, one large pizza, and a hundred dollar bill that covered the whole meal. "Plus tip." Bucky then fled and hailed a cab. He gave you one last look and a small salute before getting inside then off he went.

"He had some business work to do." You replied. "Can I take these to-go please? Oh, and here." You handed Marco the hundred dollar bill and said something you have never said (not once!) in your entire life. "Keep the change."

Marco grinned, took the money and placed it inside his apron pockets. "Any chance you got four more of this?"

"Hey, that's with the tip already!" You playfully rolled your eyes and leaned back on the chair. "And you should ask the hunk that. Not me."

He started taking some plates off the table, his back a bit hunched as he did. "Who was that anyway? Finally replaced that old boyfriend of yours?"

"Old boyfriend? Marco, I'm single. Oh no, you're not at that stage now, are you?" It was meant as a joke but you did genuinely care for the old guy.

Marco stopped from picking up the plates and stood taller. "What ya talking 'bout?"

"You know," you whispered, "the forgetful stage."

"Oh fuck off." You earned a glare from him then continued to pick up the plates from the table before wiping it clean. A mother covered her three-year-old daughter's ears, with pasta noodles falling out of her mouth. She said something to Marco but was overpowered by his voice. A man in his 40's kept looking at you and Marco, probably wondering what the fuss was all about. "I'm still young!" He added. "And you know who I'm talking about. The guy you live with."

You scoffed and gave him an unbelievable look as you watched him clean, avoiding the stares people were starting to give. "That's not my boyfriend, Marco." You whispered.

"What? He's not?"

"He's my roommate." You took a sip of your bottled water. "We're roommates, nothing more."

"Well, good. I like the hunk better than that skinny roommate of yours." He bellowed laughing, holding his big, round belly. His voice echoed against the walls.

"Wait, so you thought Peter was my boyfriend this whole time?" You genuinely asked.

"Well, yeah! You were always together eating and whatnot. What was I supposed to think?"

You were supposed to argue with Marco that it was okay to be friends with someone of the opposite gender: to platonically hangout twenty-four seven, have pizza nights, movie nights, and all the things couples do but in a very platonic way. But Marco was an old man who stubbornly clung to his ancient beliefs. You didn't want to light a fire you and him. Besides, you were still on your way to earning his trust and getting a friend discount.

"Unbelievable." You mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear it. Despite his old age, Marco still had the ears of a twenty-year old.

"You and me, both. All the time I was thinking to myself, you could do better!"

Oh, God. I know where this is going. You thought. "I'm not letting you set me up with your son, Marco."

"Why not?"

"Because he's old." You groaned, wishing he would just clear the table and just get it on with your to-go Italian food.

"So was that hunk you were with!"

Tired of all the back and forths, you sighed. "Marco, can't you just give me the food? I still have work to do."

"Yeah, yeah, aight. Don't nag me." Marco grunted. "You sounding like my ex-wife back there." His voice faded once he went back towards the counter, and started placing the food in the little to-go boxes.

Your phone on the table lit up. A text message from Peter asking you if you were still with Bucky. You replied back instantly that he went back to the White Wolf. You received no more messages from him after that.

A few seconds later, a figure approached and stopped right in front of you. You looked up and saw one of your friends who also did photography back in college.

"Wanda?"

Wanda flashed you that sweet smile of hers that reminded you of chocolates, rainbows, and unicorns.

"Aria! Wow, it's so nice to see you!" She crouched down to envelope you in a warm hug, then sat across from you, where Bucky was sitting a few minutes ago. She placed her small, shiny purse right on the table, her painted nails never letting it go. "I was just walking down the street and then saw you from the window. How are you? It's been quite long, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm doing good." Wanda could be such a Chatty Cathy. She was the kind of person that never let silence take over a room. If you memory served you right, you haven't seen each other since you graduated from college. She was a year younger than you and even though you stayed in New York the whole time, you never bothered to visit her at NYU Tisch during her last year. "How about you? How have you been doing?"

"I'm doing real good too! I actually set up my own studio a year ago in Manhattan after being a wedding photographer. I now photograph models, sometimes I do photowalks. I also hold photo exhibits from time to time." Unlike you, Wanda chose to follow her passion and majored in Photography and Imaging. "It's been really fun!"

Albeit feeling happy for her, a pang of jealousy struck you. You tried your best to ignore it and said: "That's great, Wanda. I'm so proud of you. You've come a long way since then."

She grinned. "I did, yeah. How about you? How's the business thing?"

You pursed your lips. "I'm actually juggling two jobs right now. I bartend at that bar over there," you pointed across the street, "and I also started a photography business." You continued. "I just do product photos for small businesses."

It was nothing big like Wanda's. Actually, it wasn't anything compared to her Manhattan studio and photowalks and photo exhibits. Nothing at all.

Her jaw dropped. Eyes wide. "Bartending? Wow! That doesn't sound like you at all!"

You chuckled then shook your head. "Who would've thought, huh? But it's pretty convenient and it pays half of my rent."

"You're still living with the Parker guy?"

"Actually, yes I still am." You replied. "But it's just the two of us now."

"Nothing more comforting than a familiar face around, huh?" She answered. "Oh hey, it's great you're still doing photography. I thought it was just a hobby of yours."

"I fell in love with it more during college, you know that."

Wanda just nodded her head in response then looked at her wrist watch. "Right. Well, this has been fun but I have a meeting to go to at some company who wants to talk about collaborations and stuff. You know the drill." She stood up from the chair, its legs scraping the wooden floors. "It was really nice to see you, Aria. I hope we can see each other again soon."

You mirrored her and stood up, reaching for a hug. "It's nice to see you too, Wanda." You let her go, then rambled. "I'm just in the bar if you ever wanna grab a drink or maybe coffee or lunch or anything, really."

"I will." She replied.

Before walking out, Wanda placed her hand on your shoulder, matched with a tight-lipped smile; like the gesture of someone towards a family member at one's funeral. Funnily enough, it was kind of appropriate. Your career in photography might as well be dead. You haven't received any work inquiry in over a month now, and some businesses have been rejecting your photography services. It was the classic "it's not you, it's me" scenario. They just found someone better.

With Wanda out of sight, you drained your thoughts and continued to stare at the moving cars on the streets. Getting you out of your trance was Marco tapping you on the shoulder.

"You alright there, kid?" He asked while handing you a plastic bag full.

"Yeah, sorry." You answered. "Just got distracted." You relieved him of your to-go food, grabbing it from his calloused hands.

"I know that kid you were talking to."

"Wanda?"

"Yeah, yeah. She photographed my son's wedding."

"The one you kept setting me up with?"

"Not that old bastard." He answered, frowning. "The younger, hotter one. With all the cheekbones and the eyes. Got them from me." Marco looked like a taller Danny DeVito. You doubted this "younger, hotter one" of his looked anything like Marco. "She also photographed my daughter's wedding."

"Jesus. How many children do you have?"

"Five." He chuckled. "I got some great swimmers."

You made a guttural sound and rolled your eyes. "Oh, God. Did not need to know that. Anyway, I gotta go. See you around, Marco." With that, you started to walk out and headed straight to the apartment.

There was nothing much to do once you got in the apartment besides putting the leftovers inside the fridge. The bar usually opened at four in the afternoon for happy hour so you took a short nap and was able to clear you head of all the things that happened overnight.

You woke up at about three in the afternoon and headed down the bar. By the time you got there, Nick was already inside, arranging the tables and chairs that were turned upside down.

"Hey, you got in early today." You greeted him as you approached the bar counter.

Nick looked up, hands still wrapped around a table. "Yeah well, I can't let you be employee of the month every single time."

"Living right above the bar does have some of its perks." You chuckled, grabbing an apron. "Need help with those?"

He answered no but his actions said otherwise. You jogged towards him and lifted the other side of the table, placing it on the floor without making much of a sound. You walked towards the other tables then started lifting one, praying to God you won't let it slip away from your arms but of course, you still had no luck on your side. Once Nick asked you that one question ("Do you want to go on a date with me?") you didn't want to hear, you dropped the table on your right foot. Bam! You stifled the sound of pain that itched your throat. Nick shuffled towards me and asked me if you were okay. You gently shrugged him off, telling him that it was nothing and that you you recently had a concussion less than twenty-four hours ago, this was absolutely nothing.

"You sure?" He asked. His hand gripped my waist, trying to maintain my balance.

"Yes, Nick." You straightened up and tried to stretch your right foot, checking if it was sprained or not. Thankfully, it was still good for running.

He let go of you then scratched the back of his head. His eyes focused on the wooden floors. "That was not a good time to ask that."

"I don't think there was ever a good time to ask that."

"Is that a no?"

Your mind recalled the conversation you and Peter had at the elevator: "Never dip the pen in company ink, right?"

Yes, it was easier to let him down easy with no one else around. You could also tell him you'll think about it but either way, you'd still be spending the remaining minutes in the bar with the fleeting awkwardness hanging in the air. But the silence was becoming heavier each second you weren't saying anything so you just shut your mind for a second and said: "Is it okay if I think about it first?"

"Yes. Sure. Of course!" He replied, finally meeting your eyes. "Just let me know. You know where to find me. Just here in the bar. 'Cause I work here."

"I know, Nick." You snickered. "I work here too."

"Right, right." He shook his head. "I'm just gonna..." He trailed off, pointing to the tables with his thumb.

"Yeah, I'll just..." You didn't know where else to go so you just made up an excuse. "I'll just be in the kitchen."

"What are you gonna do there?"

"I think there are still some shipments there? From earlier?" Lie. "I'll take care of them. Don't worry."

"O-okay."

And with that, you left Nick arranging tables and chairs while you headed towards the kitchen, sat on the floor and scrolled through different social media platforms before one of the cooks entered the kitchen. You ignored the befuddled look she gave you. It was the sign to stand up and walk out of the kitchen. So you did.

Once Peter walked in the doors, you grabbed a bottle of beer and removed the bottle cap. You greeted him with a smile and placed his drink on the counter. "Hey, Parker. Guess what?"

"Hey, y/n." He smiled, sitting on the stool and placing his briefcase on the counter. He immediately grabbed the beer bottle and took his first sip. "Nick finally asked you out?"

"You don't know the rules to the 'Guess What' game, do you?"

"Oh, I know the rules." He replied. "I'm just a born rule breaker. So," he stared at his beer bottle scratching the sticker with his thumbs, "did you say yes?"

"I told him I'll think about it."

"And you've thought about it?"

"Yes."

"...and?"

"I'm gonna tell him no." You walked away from Peter, pouring beer from the beer tap into a beer mug for one of the regulars who just walked in. "It's kind of hard to work with someone you're dating or you've dated. I mean, you learned that the hard way, right?"

Peter groaned, reminiscing the time he dated his co-worker, a certain Denise, for six months, stringing her along for a couple more before dumping her. He couldn't even begin to describe how much hatred Denise had for Peter. One night, you found Peter on the rooftop, writing his resignation letter. Of course, you had to throw it after sneaking up on him behind his back. Apparently, Peter couldn't take any more of Denise's death stares during meetings, lunch breaks, and any time she was around Peter. Luckily, Denise got fired the next day for some legal dispute. Peter drank his whole night away that very day and you ended up taking care of him. The next day, you told him everything he'd done that night except one thing: trying to kiss you.

"Hey," Peter hissed, "here he comes. Good luck." He swiftly left his briefcase and beer bottle on the counter, hurrying his way towards the toilet.

You gave Nick a small smile once he opened the counter pass-through. "Nick. Hi."

"Y/n. Hi!"

"So, about the thing earlier -- "

"Can I get a beer?" Interrupted a man on your left side but you couldn't care less. You put up your hand in front of his face. "In a mug!"

Before you could even say "I'm sorry, Nick, but I can't date a co-worker. It's just not right. But you're great. Not just with me" the man shooed your hand away. "Hey! The hell is this?"

You groaned. "You'll get your beer in just one moment, okay?"

The man huffed and left the counter then sat on a nearby table, flipping me off. You rolled your eyes at him and brought your attention back to Nick who was still waiting for your answer. While halfway through your short speech you have been preparing in your head, he interrupted with a: "Yeah, yeah, I know where this is going. It's fine. It's alright. I understand. I'll let you get back to work."

He started turning around but you immediately stopped him. "So this is okay, right? No weird tension between us, or something like that?"

He nodded his head and sent you a warm smile. "Yeah, everything's good. At least I tried, y'know. I'll, uh, see ya around 'cause y'know -- "

"You work here, yeah."

"Yeah. Well... " And with that, he treaded away towards the pass-through and approached some newcomers.

The man from earlier was still staring at you so you went ahead and opened the beer tap. Before the liquid even reached the top of the mug, a hand laid on top of the tap handle and turned the tap off.

"Now," Bucky's voice rang inside your ears, "how about you make me a mean drink, doll?"

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes story #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky au #au #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes fan fic

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Green Eggs and Ham: Here (Patreon Review for Emma Ficci)

Hello all you happy people! And I have my first fully paid for comission and patreon review all in one! Yes my good friend Emma became a patreon and you can too, go to patreon.com/popculturebuffet. Even one buck a month helps and 5 a month nets you a review of whatever of your choice a month. An episode of any tv show I have acess to. It feels good to have more than one person paying my salary, though I sitll want to thank Kev, my other patreon for helping with that.

So with that all in order, let’s talk about this thoroughly weird, thoroughly wonderful show from a couple years back. Green Eggs and Ham is modern adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book..... and I bet those of you who haven’t heard of this series before or it’s reputation just had your bowls clinch a bit. Yeah while I haven’t seen illumination’s takes on the maestro of children’s books, I haven’t heard the best things and the trailers and odd and counter productive marketing tie ins for the Lorax have made me want to stay 30 feet away from it at all times. Seriously you get certified Legend Danny DeVito.. and you waste him on “Dat’s a woman” a joke that I don’t have time to unpack all the ways it sucks. My point is Seuss really hasn’t had the best time with adaptations latey. But leave it to Warner Animation and Netflix to pull out a great one. Yeah I wasn’t too excited about a tv adaptation of one book at first due to all this and even a celebrity cast wasn’t a good sign. They roped Danny DeVito into the Lorax. So even with a whopper cast containing Michael Douglas, Diane Keaton, my boy Adam Divine, Ilana Glazer, Kegan Michael Key, Jeffery Wright, Eddie Izard and JIllian Bell.. I wasn’t convinced. But word of mouth was really good, and the animation looked downright gorgeous, perfectly mimicking suess’ work and feeling like an unabashed love letter.

So I did what I tend to do.. and sat on it for several years because I simply forgot to watch it till my friend comissioned it and here we are. And off the bat.. the reputation.. is not remotely overblown. This is easily the best Dr. Seuss adaptation i’ve seen in some time taking the best of his ideas and whimsy, with what little behind the scenes stuff I could get saying they specifically took art design from his art of book, with a modern and intresting story behind it and an all star cast that this time around are used well instead of just being there for Name Recogntion. Not only that but it takes inspriation form, of all things, Planes Trains and Automobiles, but does so well so far, getting the oddcouple dynamic down perfectly.

So join me under the cut as I cut this bit of green eggs and ham into bite sized pieces for you all and go into why it’s so delecitable.

This episode’s mostly broken up into bits to introduce all the main players, so as I tend to do when there’s multiple plots, I will be covering each one at a time.

Guy and Sam: The Failed Inventor and the Animal Thief

So our story begins with.. a ninja breaking into a zoo to steal the rare Chikaraffe.

Neither was the narrator, played by Key.. and the narrator naturally for a work like this delightfully interacts with things and is one of the best parts of the whole episode. But this already shows how well the series updates things. There’s one or two things like Ninja Sam or a family making ducklips during a photo, there’s even a fairly obvious trump stand in we’ll get to.. but none of it’s SO overdone it takes you out of things or dates the projects. The tech is kept to about the 70′s or 80′s with cameras still used instead of camera phones, crt tv’s, and what have you, and most inventions seens are susian. It feels wholly in line with his books while still nudging it into our current decade here and there. In other words.. how you SHOULD do it: add in a few things here or there but no overt pop culture refrences and at most a take that at something Seuss would gladly take aim at.

So we meet our other hero the next day, Guy-Am-I. Guy is the show’s version of the nameless harassment victim from the books, with a bit of a darker fur and hat, likely to help better distingish him from sam as well as sell him being older than his co-star. It’s a good change, and helps sell Guy as what he is.. a grumpy middle aged man who keeps failling in life as demonstrated by his way to the inventions: he falls in a puddle, signs no on a pettition because he’s in a hurry, reminds me of man in a hurry from hatchefield but I couldn’t find a good image of him saying that in time and takes a picture of the family “Say runing my life” “ruining your life!”. We later see after some of the following scenes Sam do the same.. but he hops over the puddle then dives ino for fun, signs an entire page of the pettition, and takes tons of pictures. It’s a nice establishing scene for both.

Guy is presenting his invention for Snerzco, your standard megacorp given a delightful Seuss twist with LITERAL pencil pushers and beancounters, to present his invention, with other inventors presenting, witht he hopes of presenting to Snerzz himself, having such delightfully bonkers and seussian inventions as a reverse umbrella (it rains on you) and an automatic fingercrosser. It’s touches like this that really tell me the series really loves Dr. Seuss.

Sadly things don’t go well for guy as he’s hoping his invention dosen’t explode, his invention being a backpack made of hands to help people fly. Most people are imprestted apart from Michelle a bean counter who.. randomly snarks she wouldn’t let her daughter fly on it.

Yeah it’s not a great introduction for one of your major characters to have her randomly mock something that hadn’t exploded yet, and to for no reason bring up what a paranoid and unfun parent she is. We’ll get to her more in a bit. But yes it does explode and Guy’s dreams are ruined.

And this whole picture.. shows who guy is. He’s someone whose kept trying agian, and again and again only for it not to work, and to get laughed at by the public and spat on by god themslef. It’s easy to see WHY he’s such a bitter curmudgeon: life hates him, so why shouldn’t he hate it back. That’s a self defeating prophecy of course but this is episode one and tha’ts probably the point of the series: to explore this. That being said I could see this coming from a mile away and felt it to be the most unupsired bit of the episode.

Guy enters a diner to get some Oatmush “The Sadmans Special” after the bus leaves before he can get to it because again, God hates him personally. No the sadman’s special is a famous bowl from KFC. I should know as a professional sadman. Regardless Guy is miserable.. and in enters sam, whose fascenated their “Breifcase Buddies” because thier briefcases match.. and unlike the above I like how they call attention to them being identical. We know wha’ts going to happen there but the lampshading helps it go down easier and makes us wonder if they will swap. Sam is a regular, being friends with Donna the waitress and ordering his usual green eggs and ham.

So we get the expected bit: Sam asks Guy to try them, he says no, but the show makes a good choice. Instead of just.. stalking guy for the next 11 episodes to get him to try it.. he simply asks if he’s actually tried it, Guy says no and makes a great poop joke, and Sam leaves it. He apparently asks once an episode, but it’s made more into a character thing; Guy refuses because he hates to try new things outside of his inventing and that’s hit a wall. It’s also a nice suprise that Devine and Douglas just play perfectly off one another. The two are from vastly diffrent generations and backgrounds acting wise, but they just work perfectly together and it’s what makes their interactions work.

Sam does leave it and the other inventors having ALL got the golden ticket, arrive and Sam treats them.. only to notice Guy’s paper and the fact guy failed, and asks donna politely to get guy his mush as he ordered first. It’s good setup for Sam. We saw him be nice and free and what not, but we also see that while he can be insietive (He asked guy what broken dream he had earlier in the scene) he does geniunely care and it isn’t just surface level. He loves people and helping them and getting to know them.

Of course while Guy is greatful, showing that beneath his own exterior he’s not a bad guy just one made miserable by life, he’s not going to be best friends or anything.. that’s a lot to ask they just met and takes his case after gulping down his oatmush.

That night Sam prepares to leave, having given Donna his adress.. multiple times. in the hopes someone comes over and hangs out. Can relate even if i’d never go that far. He does however reveal himself as the ninja and prepare to take the chikaraffe with him for whatever reason.

Guy goes to his hotel room to sulk, not helped by the other inventors partying outside, and full of misery and self loathing throws his suitcase in the fire.. until it makes a noise. He quickly pulls it out to find the Chickaraffe. Will he surivive? I mean probably. We have 12 episodes left. And a full second season. God this is going to take a few years.. regardless, let’s move onto the subplots.

MIchellee and E.B.

We meet Michelle’s daughter EB who just wants to live but her mom dosen’t let her have toys or shenaniagnas.. and comes off untetionally as really abusive. She’s SUPPOSED to be overprotective, but saying “I detect a hint of whimsy.. i’ll allow it” really just paints you as an overcontrolling psycho. Their headed on a trip and while EB wants to catch the chickaraffe for herself dosen’t have the time and her mom gives her a magnetic friendship bracelet.. that shackes her to her. Just... yeah Michelle has made me hate her in one episode and she’s played by Diane Keaton. How do you do that? Hopefully she’ll get better but hearing about these two characters was part of the reason I procastinated so long. The other is my brain being kind of a forgetful swamp.

Snerz: We meet Snerz himself who has someone bringing him the chickaraffe. Snerz is a cold, mean man with trump hair.. that in this case is a literal being he’s forcing to be his hair, has everything gold plated and keeps animals in a wall forcing them to stand on the other side and put their heads through like he mounted them because he’s a sociopath. And this is the refrence I meant. Snerz has many comparisons to trump, the hair, the gold platings, but it dosen’t really date the thing as Trump has been around since long before this and will sadly probably be around till his inetivitible jail sentence. But it’s not so overt or over the top that it takes you out of it it works. Okay one more.

BAD GUYS:

Two mysterious agents, one old and one on her first mission, go to the zoo and interogate the guy running it holding him over a slapping turtle exhbit. Their after the chickaraffe and depart.. with the yougner agent accidently dropping him. Whoops. At least he gets to get hit into space by a turtle. Some of us never will “Sigh”

Final Thoughts:

This was an excellent first episode. It fleshes out the characters well, sets up the story without feeling too slow, and the show strkes the right ballance of being it’s own thing while still feeling Seuss. It’s a wubusoully wonderful good time and I recommend checking it out. I look forward to the rest of the series over the next year.

Next on this blog: Sleepover time as Shadow into Light, my Lena Saberwing retrospective resumes.

#green eggs and ham #sam-i-am #guy-am-i #michelle #e.b.#snertz #dr seuss #netflix

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breakingsomething · 5 years ago

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the fall part seven - the one where everyone hates marvin

basic summary: marvin struggles with morals and knowing when to stop.

trigger warnings: suicidal ideation, injury, talk of medication

tagslist: @synonymsforzombie @spicydanhowell @skyewardlight @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars @cest-mellow

the more marvin got to know anti, the less he felt he understood about him.

marvin just didn't get him. anti was a snarky asshole, sure, and he did occasionally threaten marvin with murder, and he did refuse to call him by his name, instead using the sign for "cat" when referring to him… but he also seemed so painfully human sometimes. on marvin's second visit, marvin had cracked an innocent joke at henrik's expense that made anti laugh, a real laugh that wasn't forced or mocking. and while anti immediately pretended it hadn't happened, it was still so unlike him that it completely threw marvin. not only that, but it started to make him question everything he thought he knew about anti.

he wondered about what naomi had said, about how none of them had ever been close enough to anti to understand him. none of them but jamie. of course, it had never really been an option for them to be friends - anti had made sure of that - but marvin couldn't help but wonder.

speaking of jamie, anti had actually been the first one to mention him at all, about five days after marvin's first visit. "have you seen him?" was the first thing he said.

"i - none of us have, anti. not since you drove him the fuck away," marvin said, crossing his arms. he was surprised anti was still bothering to ask. anti scowled and turned away from marvin, glaring out the window.

"i didn't drive him away," he signed grumpily. "well, i did the first time, i will admit that. but the second time was definitely on you bastards."

marvin scoffed. "oh, how? how us? you were the reason he had fucking nightmares and was afraid to cry in case we slapped him. you were the goddamn problem."

"and that's why he ran away from me," anti said. "me. the first time. i wasn't there the second time. i haven't seen dapper in like a year, kitten. did you never wonder why he left you guys?"

marvin went silent. he realized his leg that wasn't crossed over the other was bouncing rapidly, and pressed his fist down to stop it. "i… have, but i assumed it was just… memories of you." he tilted his head, just looking at anti for a moment. his hair had gotten long enough to hold back in a small bun, and he was wearing the same black t-shirt as the last few times; or what looked the same, anyway. marvin frowned. if anti cut his hair slightly shorter, changed his eye colour to grey and grew a beard and mustache, he could be jamie's identical twin.

"do you miss him?" marvin asked before he could stop himself. anti whipped round, eyes narrowed and glowing bright orange, before turning back to face the window.

"he was just my time traveler," anti signed. "my weapon. i miss him like i miss my fucking kitchen knife."

marvin figured this wasn't true, but didn't press the issue.

a couple visits later, he asked something that had been bothering him. "who is jay, by the way?"

anti visibly flinched at the question.

"who told you that name?" he signed forcefully, his hands slicing through the air sharply. marvin held back a smile.

"you did," he said, trying not to laugh as anti's eyebrows shot into his fringe. "when i came round here the first time. you were, like, hallucinating with your fever or something. you kept calling me jay."

anti stared at marvin for a second, mouth hanging open slightly. marvin giggled at the sight.

"what else did i say?" anti demanded. the tips of his ears had gone red. "tell me!"

marvin smirked, casually leaning back in his chair. "oh, loads of things. so many secrets. you told me all about your secret love for country music, and how you once had a crush on danny devito, and how you've always wanted to play the banjo -"

anti punched marvin's arm, hard enough to leave a bruise, before sinking back into his pillow, exhausted. "fuck you," he signed, very slowly. "now i know you're talking shit." he hesitated, and looked like he was going to say something else before simply signing "bitch."

marvin laughed, before a cold feeling trickled down his back. why was he laughing with this guy? this man who'd hurt his brothers so badly? most importantly, why was anti someone who could even make him laugh? why did he seem so normal?

he still didn't know why he was visiting anti every day.

he hadn't mentioned it to his brothers. not that he'd been talking to them anyway. he had tried with chase several times, but he always brushed him off. marvin was worried for him, and henrik too. really, he wished they'd just talk to him. he wished he had the courage to open up to them himself. he wished jackie hadn't left.

every time he looked at anti's broken nose and arm and many cuts and bruises that still hadn't healed, all he could think about was his brother.

everything was far too confusing these days. marvin thought that if someone had told him a year ago that he would one day be on better terms with anti than jackie, he would have just laughed.

now he didn't know what was going on anymore.

it was two weeks of dumb conversation before anti brought up what they had been avoiding.

"your brothers don't know you're visiting me," anti said. "the feeling of deja vu i'm getting is unreal right now."

marvin had scoffed, sitting back in his chair despite the sudden anxiety coursing through him. "this is different though. obviously. i'm not tor- i'm not - we're just talking."

"you shouldn't be talking with me though, should you?" anti smirked at the look on marvin's face. "your brothers would freak out. doctor especially. and jinx. i mean, to be fair, i can see why they wouldn't exactly be fond of me."

"does your hand get tired signing so much bullshit?" marvin snapped. anti's smile grew, and so did marvin's hatred for the man. "there's nothing wrong with what i'm doing. the situation is - different now."

"is it?" anti signed with raised eyebrows. "then bring your brothers round here. i'm sure they'd love to visit me, and i'm sure they'd love to see how well acquainted the two of us have been getting. jinx could tell us stories about his children, hm?" he laughed, sounding hoarse and strangled. "doctor could tell us about what he did during that two month leave he took back in 2017 when he was about to start his first real job in this same hospital. or - or, speaking of this hospital, which seems to have seen some shit, by the way, we could talk about our old friend jack -"

"shut the fuck up." marvin didn't phrase it as a request. it was a demand, and his eyes were blazing. anti dropped his hand and clasped it with his mostly plastered other one in his lap, smiling still. marvin wanted to fucking strangle him. "my brother is fucking - he's - i -" he shook his head wildly, trying to clear his head. "i don't have to explain myself to you."

anti shrugged, wincing at the pain in his arm. "fine by me. i don't care."

marvin huffed loudly, face burning with anger. "you are such a bastard!"

"why?" anti asked innocently.

marvin stood up suddenly, head rushing from the sudden movement. "fuck you. i'll see you - sometime, maybe."

he walked briskly towards the door, not stopping or looking back to see if anti was saying anything. he continued out of the hospital and caught a bus home, fuming.

he had thought about maybe even visiting jack. but he had never met the man while he was awake, despite apparently being his creation, and he'd only ever visited him with chase before. they were talking of moving him anyway; he wasn't safe so close to anti, but they'd originally had no choice but to keep him there. fuck, it was a lot to think about.

once he got home, he realized he'd forgotten his keys, so he was forced to knock. henrik answered, face souring when he saw who it was. "fuck, you again," he groaned, rolling his eyes as he walked back inside, not waiting to see if marvin would follow him in.

"love you too, henny," marvin said sarcastically, before realizing that if he was going to talk to his brothers about something this important, he shouldn't be an asshole, at least for the moment. "where's chase?"

"in his room," henrik sighed. he was crouching in front of the fridge, rummaging around looking for something. "i don't know what he's doing, maybe... filming, i think. marvin, where is my leftover kung pao chicken? i specifically wrote my name on it and everything."

ah. marvin knew where that was. too late to tell him, though. "no idea, man," he said, making a face behind henrik's back. "listen, i need to talk to you two. about - i'm gonna go get chase, actually, then we'll talk."

"fantastic," henrik grunted, knocking over a carton of eggs and struggling to hold it in his arms while also holding onto the shelf to keep everything else from falling. "can't wait."

marvin left him to his own devices, bounding up the stairs two at a time and knocking on chase's door. "hey, little bro? i have to talk to you and henrik, if that's ok. can you meet us down in the kitchen asap?"

chase didn't reply. marvin frowned and knocked again. "chaser? mi hermano, mon frère, mein bruder, min bror… i can say it in more languages. don't make me do it. come on, bastard, open up."

it was too quiet. marvin's heart was suddenly palpitating with fear, hands trembling slightly. "chase? are you ok?"

and then all he could think about was what chase had told him, the reason he'd had the gun, what he'd been planning to do. how none of them had even noticed. marvin's breath hitched, and he pounded the door even harder.

we took the gun. and henrik's here. he can't have done anything, he can't. nevertheless, marvin yelled in once more, breathing heavily with panic. "chase!" he cried. "chase, come on, open the door or i will break it down with magic, i swear i will -"

"what the fuck are you doing?" came a voice. it was henrik, holding a mug in his hands. marvin struggled to regulate his breathing, staring at him.

luckily, he didn't have to answer. chase's door clicked open, and there he was, bedhead and eye bags and all. chase ran his fingers through his blonde hair, blinking. "the hell?"

"shit!" marvin sobbed, and he threw his arms around his little brother, burying his face in his neck. chase hesitated before hugging him back, and marvin could hear him yawning into his chest.

"what's going on?" henrik demanded. "chase, are you alright?"

"just sleeping," chase mumbled. "sorry i scared you."

"scared - scared us?" henrik moved into marvin's field of vision, arms spread wide in confusion. "what is happening, why would we have been - chase, you were just napping, yes? marvin, what is wrong?"

chase pulled away and looked up and marvin, eyes silently pleading. he'd asked marvin not to tell henrik the truth about the gun, and so far he hadn't, although he felt he definitely should. marvin turned back to henrik, taking a shaking breath. "it's nothing, i'm just paranoid."

henrik shook his head. "don't you lie to me. what's going on?"

marvin could not deal with this right now. "henrik, i -"

chase stepped back, hands in the air in front of him. "listen, it was - it was all - i just -"

"i've been visiting anti in hospital!" marvin blurted out, unable to take the tension.

that seemed to work. the two brothers turned to him, identical expressions of shock and disbelief on their faces.

"you've… you've what?" henrik said softly. chase didn't say anything, just blinked rapidly, wringing his hands in front of him.

marvin winced. "guys, i… i didn't mean for it to turn into what it is. i just wanted to - to understand why -"

"have you forgotten what he's done?" henrik said. his quiet, flat tone was making marvin's heart race faster, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights. "have you - he's - marvin, he is literally in the same hospital as jack. jack, our friend, mine and chase's best friend - jack who anti put in hospital, jack who anti put in a coma. have you forgotten? do you need reminded of - how, how, can you stand to -"

"i just want answers," marvin interrupted. "i don't know what else to do."

"marvin, the second he is out of hospital, he will go right back to trying to kill us!" henrik shouted without warning. his eyes were wild behind his glasses. "i don't - i don't even know what they will do once he is better, given that he's a fucking murderer, given that he's kidnapped children and put people in comas - what kind of answers do you want from him?"

"i don't know!" marvin cried. his nails dug into his palm, and to his horror, tears filled up his eyes. he tried to blink them away, taking shaky breaths. "i guess i just needed something that you couldn't give me, considering we've all completely glossed over everything that happened! it's been, what, two months since we lost jackie? and yet, not one of us is talking about what happened -"

henrik makes a noise of frustration. "you talk like he's dead -"

"he might as well be!" marvin inhales sharply, his whole chest shaking. "he might as well be dead! that's something we're not talking about either!"

"so you found solace in anti," henrik said, voice suddenly flat again. "instead of your own brothers, your brothers who love you. well done."

"'brothers who love me' - that's rich, henrik, coming from you," marvin spat. "you've never had anything but contempt for me, you hated me from the moment we met."

"like the feeling wasn't mutual," henrik shots back. he had his arms crossed in an x shape on his chest, like he was holding himself up. "like you didn't despise me too. you aren't a fucking victim here, marvin. in fact, you're - you're the only one here who's not a victim!" he barked out a harsh laugh. "i was kidnapped by that man, held in a basement scared out of my mind for almost two months, getting b-beaten whenever i tried to shout - chase's kids were stolen, he spent three weeks in prison - what about you, marvin? what has anti taken from you?"

marvin was silent, his stomach rolling. he kept eye contact with henrik, refusing to look away, and his brother gives him a cold smile. "exactly. exactly. it's enough that you rescued him when you could have just left him, it's enough that -"

"couldn't leave him to die," marvin choked out, voice suddenly hoarse. "not at jackie's hand. not at my brother's hand, my big brother who i thought would never hurt a soul - not him. i couldn't."

"tell me," henrik said. "did you enjoy seeing him hurt? would you have saved him if it had been anyone other than jackie on the other end of the knife?"

there it was. that question he had been asking himself, the question he said he didn't know the answer to. the question he did know the answer to.

"yes," marvin said quietly. "and no."

he stared at the floor, unable to watch his brother's face contort in disgust and anger. marvin's tears fell to the carpet beneath his feet.

"that's what i thought," henrik said quietly. "and that just - oh, that just makes what you're doing so much worse."

marvin shook his head, glancing back up. "i just want to understand…"

he trailed off. henrik waited, and when marvin didn't continue, he snorted. "continue whenever you feel like it."

"i want to figure out why jackie did what he did," marvin said loudly, face flushing with rage and shame. "i want to understand him, i want to understand anti, i want to -"

"there is nothing to fucking understand about anti," henrik interrupted, taking a step forward to get closer to marvin. "he's a monster. he hurts people. me and chase saw him, saw what he was like - you tell him, chase!"

they turned to look at chase for the first time since they'd started fighting, and were both surprised to see he had slumped halfway down the wall, hands covering his face. his whole body was shaking, falling forwards and backwards with the force of his breathing.

"chase?" henrik asked uncertainly. "are you -"

"shut the fuck up," chase whispered. "just shut the fuck up."

he turned and raced into his room, his hands leaving his face to open the door just long enough for them to see he was crying.

marvin and henrik were silent.

"fuck," henrik murmured. he ran a hand over his head round the back of his neck. "fuck."

he whipped round to face marvin. "this is your fault," he hissed. even through his glasses, marvin could see the wetness of his eyes. without another word, henrik turned on heel and marched down the stairs, a door slamming somewhere out of marvin's view. he stared at the space where he'd been standing, fingers numb.

his asshole marvin list just kept getting longer.

the next day, he decided to call naomi.

he'd made many mistakes in the past two months, but this was something he could fix. marvin sat down on his room's windowsill, curling up into himself as he clicked her name in his contacts. if he couldn't fix things with his brothers, he was at least going to try with naomi.

she didn't answer the first two times. on the third attempt, she picked up right as the dial was about to end. "pye?" she mumbled. "hey, haven't heard from you in like, two weeks."

marvin smacked his head off his knees. "i'm sorry," he said softly. "in case you can't tell, i'm kind of a coward. and, uh, i'm bad at fixing my mistakes and… being a good person in general."

"no you're not," naomi said. "i was being a dick too. i didn't realize - i shouldn't have pushed you when i know what anti is like."

marvin shifted on the spot uncomfortably. "well, i shouldn't have started yelling, and i especially shouldn't have said the word -"

"insane?" naomi finished. "it's ok. i get it, i - i would have been pissed off too if i were you."

"no, but - but anger doesn't give me the right to be a bitch," marvin protested. "i can understand where you were coming from, too, and i understand you don't know everything about anti."

there was a pause, and marvin listened to naomi breathe and the kids playing outside in the late summer sun.

"maybe we're both assholes," naomi said eventually, and she laughed quietly. "i - marvin, i'm sorry. i've not been myself."

he hesitated, tapping his foot on the floor and knocking his other knee against the window in time. "are you alright?"

she sniffed, and something clattered on the other end of the line. "at this exact moment in time? i suppose."

"what about in general?"

"i… don't know. i - fuck. i am not - i think i might be forgetting english." she giggles awkwardly.

marvin smiled, though she couldn't see it. "no, it's ok. i speak some swedish. languages man here, hello. tell me what you wanna say."

she took a breath. "allt är fel," she mumbled. "jag vet inte."

marvin took a moment to figure out what she was saying. "um… why do you think everything is wrong?"

naomi sniffed again, louder. "i don't know how to explain. i mean… it may have something to do with how i haven't taken my medication in weeks."

"you - fuck, why?" marvin cried before lowering his voice again. "naomi, it's important to keep taking them consistently so that -"

"i know," she snapped. "or… i thought i knew. then i… i started feeling worse again, and i thought it wasn't working, that i didn't need them anyway and could get better without them. i know how dumb that is, but when i'm in that kind of state…" she trailed off.

"it's ok, i get it," marvin reassured. "have you been going to -"

a loud beep resounded in his ears. he pulled his phone away from his face, wincing, only to see he was getting another call from a number he was getting used to seeing. he bit his lip and returned his phone to his ear. "nai, i'm, uh, getting a call from the hospital. i'm so sorry, can i call you back? i know how important this is, but -"

"no, it's cool," naomi interrupted hurriedly. "take it, that could be more important. i'll call you tonight." she paused. "love you, pye."

a ridiculous smile spread across his face, and he briefly clapped his hand over his mouth. "i… love you too, nai."

he could hear her giggling as she hung up and marvin answered the call from the hospital. his smile immediately disappeared, however, when he heard dr reid's distressed tone on the other end.

"marvin?" she said. "is anti with you? he - he's left, somehow. i don't understand how, he shouldn't be able to leave without - is he with you? tell me he's with you. marvin? marvin, are you there?"

two months prior

jackie only knew of one place to go. one person he could trust.

what was his address, again? jackie was hurt badly and barely conscious; normally, in this state, he would have gone to his friend curro for help, but marvin knew where he lived and could potentially find him there. and marvin was a traitor. traitor, traitor, cared more for anti than his own brothers. fucking pig. jackie had to stop him. had to stop him before his brothers got hurt.

his necklace was pulsing underneath his hoodie, heating up against his skin. baboom, baboom, it went. like a heartbeat. in fact, if jackie stopped moving… it was in time with his own heartbeat. what a strange coincidence. what a very strange coincidence.

street names flashed in front of him. buildings, streetlamps, lit up signs and cars and people. very dark. jackie usually hated the dark - it negatively affected his photokinesis. tonight, he loved it. revelled in the pitch black shadows that warmed his body like they never used to.

then he was knocking at a door. he was glad his new magic had teleported him so close - actually, fuck, when had he learned he could do that? how had he done that? the cold surface of the door felt nice against his face. calmed his thoughts. fuck, fuck, his head was spinning.

then the door was being pulled open and he whined at the loss of contact, clinging to the doorframe so he wouldn't fall. "jackson?" came a familiar voice. "what are you… what are you doing here?"

jackie opened his eyes, staring up at the confused blonde man standing in the doorway. without a word of explanation, he leaned forwards and pulled the man into a clumsy kiss, letting go of the frame to grab hold of his coat.

for a moment, the other man kissed him back, then pushed him off just as quickly. "dude, what - you're bleeding, you're fucking bleeding, come inside quickly. what - what happened, can you talk?"

jackie's breathing was heavy and irregular, and only wheezing gasps came out when he opened his mouth. "fuck," the other man said. "do you have your inhaler with you?"

jackie shook his head rapidly, which was a bad idea considering how dizzy he was. he took one step forward into the flat and promptly fainted, the floor rushing ever closer.

when he woke, he was no longer in the floor. jackie was laying on a bed; a familiar bed. ok, so he knew where he was. how had he gotten here? he didn't remember.

"you're awake, thank the stars," said the man, walking into the room with a bundle in hand. jackie noted hazily that his own hoodie had been stripped, leaving just his bloodstained shirt. "can you tell me what happened?"

"mm," jackie vocalized, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. everything ached, and when he rolled his sleeves up, he could already see bruises forming. he didn't dare to look at his chest, where it was definitely worse. "brothers… kicked me out, magic's going crazy, i didn't mean to hurt - didn't mean to hurt anyone, aaron, i swear -"

"shh, calm down, calm down," aaron soothed, sitting on the bed and pressing his legs against jackie's. he placed a hand on his boyfriend's face, gently running his fingers down his skin to his lips. "you're hurt. who did this? and what do you mean, your brothers kicked you out? did they find out about… about the whole black magic thing?"

jackie tried to nod, but his head hurt too much. "yeah," he managed instead. "i… aaron, i didn't know where else to… you're the only other one who knows about this."

"you're lucky i know how to treat wounds," aaron told him, dropping the bundle of clothes next to the bed. "and that i care about you enough to use my rarer magics that i save for necessary occasions."

"don't understand why you care about me so much," jackie mumbled as aaron helped him lay back down. "you've only known me, like… four months."

"ten, actually," aaron said. he pressed his lips gently to jackie's forehead, drawing a small breath out of him. "stay still, i'm gonna take a look at your chest."

"can i stay here?" jackie blurted. he blinked rapidly, trying to stop his vision from blurring. "p-please? i - i don't have anywhere else to go… i know i'm not supposed to speak with you, i know you c-could get in tr-trouble from the organization, but i can't - aaron -"

"relax," aaron murmured. "of course you can stay. i'm risking a lot by dating you anyway. if the organization found out, they'd have my head. possibly literally, depending on how they're feeling."

jackie was silent, letting aaron play with his hair. his eyes fluttered closed and he let out a contented sigh despite his current state of injury. then, "'m sorry. love you, aar… aaron, i…"

he passed out again before he could finish.

#jacksepticeye #boop writes #marvin the magnificent #chase brody #jackieboy man #henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye #naomi gudmundson #aaron mckenzie #the fall

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hardeepcox · 5 years ago

Text

My First Job in Vietnam

The first job that I acquired in Vietnam was at an English center whose name I won’t say… but it rhymes with Ah Paw Low. We had to work early on weekends, so that instantly bummed me out. I actually almost quit after the second week, I thought dude this is bullshit I’m not working at 7:45 on weekends! But after a while I got used to the schedule and before I knew it I had been working there for 6 months. I met some awesome people there and I really enjoyed watching the interactions between the foreigners and the locals. It reminded me of when I used to work in restaurants back in the states and the workplace was divided between servers and kitchen employees. In restaurants, I had worked in both the front and the back of the house, and at this English center it felt like foreigners were the front-of-the-house and the locals were the back-of-the-house. I know how it feels like to be the back-of-the-house, so I found it really easy to connect with our Vietnamese assistants. Something really interesting that happened at this job was that it began to make my distrust for white people to fade away. Yup, that was actually a thing.

I think this mistrust had started when I was 18 and I worked at a restaurant called Sweetwater in Virginia. My manager had pretended to be super nice to me during the hiring process but after I was hired his attitude changed completely and I was always confused by that. I felt a similar attitude change from my other managers at this restaurant and eventually they fired me because I had come to work late twice (of course this was after letting me work through their busy months leading up to New Year’s Eve). This led me to believe that wow maybe those things about white people being untrustworthy is true, and I bought into it for a LONG TIME. Well, thanks Vietnam for changing this thought in my mind because it was never going to bring about anything positive. I’ve tried to figure this out in my mind, okay so not all white people are bad maybe it’s only American whites? Nope, that was wrong too. Maybe it’s only whites in Northern Virginia? Nope, because I have white friends in Northern Virginia including my bros Ryan, Max, and Jake. Maybe I should just stop judging people? Yeah that’s probably it.

Anyways, back to Ah Paw Low.

The first person to invite me to chill with the Ah Paw Low crew was Niall, a really chill dude from the UK. My stupid ass kindly refused the first few invites, but eventually I did meet up with the Ah Paw Low crew at the famous banh mi lady’s restaurant. I also met Eva, a chill American/Costa Rican chick with resting bitch face. Honestly for the first few months that I worked there, I thought she was angry, but nope that was just the way her face looked. I met my bro P from South Africa, we played a few matches of football (soccer, yeah I prefer saying football because your fucking foot touches the ball) and we actually still work together now at another company. He’s basically like my older brother from South Africa who introduces me to delicious Indian food every now and then. I met Andrew from the UK, fun fact about him is that he’s been in movies. He’s a handsome bastard. Myra from Brunei, fucking party legend. At the party Olympics she brings home the gold medal. I hope we can party soon, even though I’ll never reach your level of godliness because I’m not worthy. Then there’s JR and Sabrina, both from the Philippines. JR is basically an R&B legend AND this dude can dance. I seen’t it! Sabrina is basically a model and her wardrobe must be like the one in the Chronicles of Narnia because I swear I’ve never seen her wear the same outfit twice. There was Parvinder from India, he would protect Sabrina like Kimari protected Yuna in Final Fantasy 10. Also, he loves the song Broken by Seether and Amy Lee, I thought I was the only one! Dude if you are reading this... I still owe you 100,000 dong. There’s also Justin, a quiet dude from Montana who used to be in the Marine Corps. He’s a really serious short guy, kind of looks like a mix between Danny DeVito and Lord Farquaad from Shrek. There’s also Nyomi from Canada, we started working at the company at about the same time and we also left the company at about the same time. We used to crack up when we said that our co-worker Paul from the UK looked liked Jafar from when he was undercover in the cave of wonders. You’ve seen Aladdin right..?? Paul could always talk about any topic at any time, and that was always fun. There’s my bro Grant from the UK. We chilled a lot outside of work and we had the most amount of immature inside jokes. Damn man… good times. There’s that one dude that I kept thinking was a gay Canadian, but he’s actually Ryan from Pennsylvania. I thought he was gay because of his reaction to Andrew’s story about being shirtless and I still laugh hysterically about this memory. There was Nhu from Vietnam, she is like one of my Vietnamese sisters and the office gossip. Dude I owe you 1 million dong omg! There was also an American dude whose name I can’t remember but basically he was like the green character in Happy Tree Friends. What I’m trying to say is that he probably had PTSD from previous military experience. Vi and Vy from Vietnam, they were two of my teacher assistants and we worked really well together with the kids. There’s another teacher assistant, she was really small like a hobbit omg what was her name… Rosie! Yeah she was super chill too. More assistants, Tony and Tan were cool dudes too. Guys sorry if I’m forgetting anyone! I’m sure there was a dude named Nguyen too. Khanh from marketing was so cool too and she has really good taste in music. Even our boss was really chill, not really any complaints on my end.

This job was really challenging but so rewarding. I’m sure that it made me into a more disciplined individual. And the most interesting thing that happened in the workplace was probably when one of my students hated k-pop so much that he started screaming at the top of his lungs during break time. When I saw the vein in his head popping out I thought he was about to turn Super Saiyan. We had to escort him to the bathroom to chill out, Damn I thought I disliked k-pop but this kid was next level.

I’m glad that I still stay in touch with most of my Ah Paw Low co-workers. I know our schedules now are kinda mismatched, but I hope we can all chill again soon! Oh yeah and fuck corona.

*I seen’t it = I saw it

It’s an expression that might be said by a Native English speaker even though it’s grammatically incorrect. Hey it sounds cool though haha. Check out the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H0W1pRVRBE

#english #vietnam #saigon #crew #co-workers #friends #judgemental

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aharris00britney · 7 years ago

Photo

ASKS 04

wow I let this build up didn’t I.... updates on the ViVi inspired hair, Sim download info, some sweet people, some K-Pop, and other stuff below

@agentwashsims said: I️ knew you wouldn’t disappoint on the curly hairs!

Thank youu! lmao it is a pretty basic edit but I’m glad you like it ;-;

Anonymous said: Could you convert the solid colored EA Cruella DeVille style for girls or tots?

Actually it has already been converted HERE (warning: she uses an ad thing :( )

@pierce-the-rachel said: Okay hello I just love your cc so much!!! Like you're amazing I what you do. Much love<3

Thank you so much omgg I am not nearly close to being amazing but I appreciate it <3

Anonymous said: Hi! Is there any chance your sim that modeled the Braxton hair will be up for download? Along with his cc?

Yes! In the next week he 100% will be. Taylor will be posted tomorrow :)

Anonymous said: What skin do you use on your male models? It looks the same as the female one but I can’t find it in CAS.

Check my resource page for my default. I don’t have the overlay labeled on there but in the next few days when I have my male model for download it will be listed there.

Anonymous said: I love your whistle skinny jeans alot, I was wondering if you were ever thinking about making one without the jacket around the waist? Sorry for wasting your time :P

That is sadly out of my ability :( but I am glad u like my whistle skinny jeans!! Not a waste of time to give someone a compliment

Anonymous said: Not exactly an ask but. I love your cc, you create beautiful content, and no matter what others say someone is gonna like it :)

Thank you soooo much omfg I really fucking appreciate stuff like this.

Anonymous said: Your creations are so awesome! I always love coming to your page and seeing all of your amazing creations!!

Thank you!!!!!! omg I feel bad that I never respond to these until I do these things, you guys that send these prob think I ignore them ;-; but for the people who read these and who send them: I really appreciate it like so much ;-; it has been a meh couple of weeks which is why CC has been slow but I love you all so much <3

@raivynmoon said: Omg why do you always get so much hate from anons? I’ll tell you why, because you’re doing things right and toxic people get jealous. Don’t mind the haters, you’re amazing! Happy new year ❤️

I actually don’t get that much hate! I never really pay them any mind bc I know as long as it is something I like that I will release it. People do def prob get jealous they can’t mesh stuff that well, not saying I am the god at it, but I do have some talent in that area from doing it for a while. Happy new year to you too!!! and thank you for the ask <3

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that all of your cc is amazing, you put so much time and effort into it. of course everyone can give you feedback and opinions about what you make, but you are the creator so you can do whatever you want with it. that anon below was just rude, inconsiderate, and isn’t really helping anyone. that person obviously doesn’t make cc hair, because im sure then they would understand and not be a total jerk about it. maybe they should just stick to makeup, instead of hating.

<-- what she said (thank youuu)

Anonymous said: well I think that all of the hair you make is really great, even if not everyone likes it. You spend so much time making these amazing hairs and shout-out to the person below: why would you waste your time hating on somebody else’s hard work when you could be creating makeup cc? You don’t put your effort and time into creating this kind of stuff, of course I know you were also giving feedback.

Thank you <3

Anonymous said: THE HAIR IS CUTE AF

Anonymous said: Wcif the hair in your "In The Time Spent With You" post? Thank you!♡

Deleted :( I never got it to look how I wanted so I never finished it

Anonymous said: I'd just like to say that the hair looks pretty, honestly your hairs are always high quality and never fail to dissapoint, I'd just say that it could be a little puffier on the sides, and over all ignore the haters, they probably couldn't make anything close to what you're making! Luvs.

Thank you!! I tried puffing the sides up some, here is a comparison pic:

(brown is now) (blonde is before)

@twirlyb said: I love the idea of the hair and I think it looks good so far but so you think that there's anyway to add for volume? I love the hair that it's based on and I really want to have it in game. I Completely understand if it's not an option but I though I would ask anyway. Btw I think your hairs are amazing. I went mostly cc free for a while (not anymore could handle not having cc but) and the only things I kept were my defaults and some of your hairs that I absolutely can not live without.

Refer above lmao

@cutesimmer23 said: Hi , anonimus , I have a message for you. If you think Austin's cc is trashy , it's just your opinion. His ccs are one of my top favourites , and I support him in all that he does , even if that's not too good. He tries to do something and , even it's not perfect at the first time , he tries to perfect it. I really love his cc . And I have something more to say. If you are that good at cc give Austin a message (not anonimously) and then we will see who's the best. We love you, Austin!

Thank you <3 You're lovely for sending me this

Anonymous said: heyy love your blog and all of your creations. wcif ALL of your sims? do you ever upload them to the gallery?

Macie is already posted, link on my resource page. Taylor will be posted tomorrow, and my male model will be posted next week. The rest idk

Anonymous said: um can that damn anon piss off. your content is absolutely amazing and some things aren't for everyone but someone out there will love and appreciate it. also the hair in your profile picture looks gorgeous. is it released yet? and the wip you posted is cute af. ignore those haters <3

Thank you <3 Hair in my profile pic is my HyunA hair :)

Anonymous said: Hi, so sorry if anyone has already asked this, but I was wondering hat your origin ID was, since your sims are super cute!? Ps. I'm totally in love with your blog!!!

My origin is Spotharris but it does not have much on it right now, Ps. thank you

Anonymous said: Do you have any K-Pop albums? Which ones?

Oh my! I have a few! I have Red Velvet’s Perfect Velvet, and 6 LOONA albums (Kim Lip, Jinsoul, Choerry, Yves, Mix & Match, and Max & Match)

Anonymous said: I miss you having Macie as your icon :(

Me too jush she needs to make a comeback

Anonymous said: Hey I was wondering if you could do a tutorial on how to make a middle parted hair side parted ?? please

I might do a livestream sometime in the future that is me remaking a hair like Joy or something where I did that. I am really bad at video stuff though so like... someone help?

Anonymous said: Can I just say how much I absolutely love all of your hairs? Like your so talented in making cc. Please keep up the great work!

Thank you!

Anonymous said: Can you convert the cupid eyes you posted for dogs/cats? It's fine if you can't, jw!

rip I can but I really don’t want to ;-;

Anonymous said: I just want to say I love you so much! All your creations are so beautiful and I use them ALL the time. Happy Holidays! ~ V

Happy late holidays!

Anonymous said: Do you have all of your own CC in your game?

Nooooo lmao

Anonymous said: does ur hyuna hair work with the ombres?

She does not :(

Anonymous said: make more diverse sims

gotcha

Anonymous said: yo i remember when you first started out and you were just starting. now you've improved a HELL of a lot. like WOAH (i love your cc)

we don’t speak of those times in my life ok

Anonymous said: I don't know if you are open to cc requests, so if you are, would you ever consider separating them utility jacket from cats and dogs? I've seen so many people recolor it but I can't find it as an accessory, and I've looked everywhere.

A friend of mine tried it but it was really glitchy :( Maybe in the future I could give it a go?

Anonymous said: LIPS, HIPS LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) L-LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) Hi-hi-hi-hi-hip (POP!)

yes i agree with everything

Anonymous said: I have the same b-day as you

only legends were born on that day. and December 2nd.

Anonymous said: Your birthday is the day before mine and the day after my sister's

So close to being legends.... sad

Anonymous said: I thought, you're female😅😅🔫

rip ur mind after i blew it up by being a male

Anonymous said: damn didnt know u were homophobic lol

Anonymous said: fmk: danny devito, shrek, and jim carrey's the grinch

fuck danny bc idk who it is and i know a hot danny. marry the grinch bc he i like mayor of whoville after the movie. kill shrek and take the donkey.

Anonymous said: ahHHHhhHh idk why but i love you so much(not in a weird way u pervery xddd)

thanks babessss

Anonymous said: You should start a gameplay

I dont have the computer or the time for that I am sorry to say

#asks #well let's hope that cuts the inbox down some thdbv #i let them build for too long #it is my own fault

56 notes · View notes

kootenaygoon · 6 years ago

Text

So,

It’s easier to trust someone when they’re naked.

I’ve been a nudist since I was a small child, and I never feel more comfortable than when I’m fully immersed in water, like a hippo, wearing nothing but sunglasses. When I heard that Nelson had a clothing optional beach called Red Sands, I packed up Paisley and the dogs and set out for an expedition. It was easier to find than I anticipated, and we bumbled upon it while trying to make sense of the Google directions. She scrolled through the old Star stories about the various city council hearings that had been held about Red Sands, and read to me out loud about how the community had opposed a condo project to maintain the integrity and privacy of the beach. (“They love to protest about everything here, eh?”) After parking just outside city limits we hiked down the train tracks through the forest, Muppet and Buster straining excitedly at the leashes, and then down a slope to a small crescent of sand with a vaguely pink hue.

There were only a few other people there, mostly older men, so we made a bit of a spectacle as we tried to wrangle our dogs and settle down for a picnic. Paisley took off her top for a bit, but eventually put it back on because she felt self-conscious. Then there was me, blissfully nude. I carried the dogs out to the edge of the water and threw them in, encouraging them to frantically doggy-paddle back. We quickly abandoned this game when it became apparent that Buster was alarmingly cold, shivering feverishly. Paisley cuddled him in her lap, chastising me for being too rough with them.

“Look how small he is,” she said. “He’s like a little potato.”

For a while it was quiet, and we enjoyed the tranquil scenery while Muppet dug her snout playfully into the sand. A little while later Scarlet Mary Rose, the burlesque performer I’d been bugging Paisley about, came out of the woods with a basket on her arm. She danced over to give me a hug, then excitedly introduced herself.

“I was actually telling Paisley about Boob camp,” I said. “I thought it would be a cool idea for her to join.”

“Oh, you should!”

“I don’t really have any dance experience,” Paisley said, shyly. “I’m not sure it’s my thing.”

“You know what? Why don’t you come to the first couple of classes for free, just try it,” Scarlet said. “If we haven’t hooked you by the third class, then you’re free to go. What do you think? You in?”

Paisley giggled nervously. “Okay.”

“Oh girl, you have no idea the adventure we’ve got in store for you.”

Eventually Scarlet found a spot across the beach. We worked our way through a six-pack of ciders, taking turns dunking in the lake as more and more people spilled on to the beach from the trees. Some were just hikers who would sit in their shorts for a few minutes, panting, then continue on their way. Others were clearly there to party, and sometimes came packing little stereos or their own bongo drums. Two dudes instantly stood out, Dru and Cy, and as we lay there on the beach I invented backstories about them for Paisley, whispering them as she giggled.

They looked like one of those off-kilter movie pairs, like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito, or Jay and Silent Bob. Dru was a scrawny, bespectacled vagrant known to loudly perform 90s ballads and Cy was a nearly silent giant of a dude, well over six feet tall, with a long dreaded troll beard. They were the sort of characters who would seem over the top in fiction, but here they were right in front of us. Real people.

“Bro, thank you so much for doing this. It’s like a big help, man,” Dru said, as we drove him back into town with Cy at the end of the day. “I mean it’s kind of a long walk at night, you know? It gets a little sketchy sometimes.”

“What’re you guys getting up to tonight?”

“Oh, we’re on a kind of a limited budget, you know? But we’ll get some more beers, get up to our regular shenanigans.”

“So how long have you been a musician?”

He turned in his seat, delighted by my interest. “I’d say I’ve been taking it pretty seriously for seven or eight years now. And I have material for at least, like, three albums. Maybe more.”

Cy grunted, nodded knowingly at me in the rearview.

“Well I’m the reporter at the newspaper,” I told him. “And I’m the arts guy, so you should totally let me know if you’re ever doing a show or anything like that.”

“Oh dude, really? Oh, dude, that would be so amazing.”

“I’m always looking for new stories.”

Besides Dru and Cy, the most important person on the beach was the King of Red Sands. He was of indeterminate age, though I put him somewhere around 50. He wore nothing but large wrap-around sunglasses and a black baseball cap, its brim shading his clean-shaven face from view. He had clearly been a thin man at some point, but was now rocking a pregnant-looking paunch. That afternoon he clambered off his speedboat, which he had parked onshore, and shouted commands at his passengers as they tried to off-load the booze coolers and camping chairs. He gesticulated with a beer can clutched in his fist. I would later learn that various features of the beach — like a sculpted rock seat and a tiled art-piece — were thanks to him, and that he’d also completed some controversial and perhaps illegal clearing of small trees to make for better sunbathing spots. Though people called him the King of Red Sands, I don’t think he considered himself royalty. He just loved his surroundings fiercely, and over the decades had developed a sense of ownership over that little inlet that was deep-rooted in him. He would eventually tell me that he planned to be cremated, then he wanted his ashes spread at Red Sands. I told him that seemed like a pretty legit plan to me.

“What about you?” he asked. “You think you’ll stick around the Koots?”

Standing naked with him, shin-deep in the lake, there wasn’t any reason to pretend to be anyone other than myself. “I really struggle with feeling like I belong anywhere. I want to stick around long enough that I feel like this, here, is my home. I haven’t had that for a long time.”

He smiled, swigged his beer. “You’ve got a nice little family there.”

“Yeah, that’s my main thing. Making that work.”

“Don’t take that shit for granted.”

“Believe me, I don’t. Every day I remind myself how lucky I am.”

He sneered. “No, that’s too far. It’s not about luck. It’s about putting in the work, it’s about really letting yourself trust someone else, it’s about commitment. I’ve been married for 30 years now and I work at it, all the time.”

“Thirty years. Wow.”

“Best decision I ever made was shacking up with her. Amazing what a good woman can do for your mental health.”

I looked back at Paisley on our blanket, against a backdrop of trees. We’d been together for three years, but it still seemed hard to believe she was mine. Beside her I felt like a brute. She was highly sensitive, with quick access to a wellspring of deeply felt emotions, and could be moved to tears by a sad meme on Facebook. I called her my duck. She knew I loved her, loved her with the desperate conviction of someone convinced they’ve found their lifelong soul mate, but it was the rest of being in a relationship that just didn’t seem to be in my skill set. I was constantly saying the wrong thing, hurting her feelings or trampling her conversationally. We’d nearly broken up in Halifax then we’d nearly broken up in Victoria, now this felt like our last chance. If we couldn’t make it work here, we wouldn’t be able to make it anywhere. I waved at her, and she gestured that she was ready to go.

“Hey man,” the King of Red Sands said, “You want a beer?”

***

Thursday afternoon was the end of my week, and by August I’d established a pretty reliable routine of heading straight to Red Sands with the dogs the moment we put the paper to bed. Paisley usually declined to join, busy with her desserts or just couch-locked watching Workaholics. I didn’t have much of a social life, and didn’t feel like I needed one, but it was there I found myself routinely chatting with strangers and making new friends. Most of the time I kept Muppet and Buster leashed, walking them back and forth along the shore, but when there weren’t any other dogs around I would let them chase each other in circles and explore among the rocks. One evening we stayed until the sun began to set, huddled together on a towel. I was reading The Ever After of Aswhin Rao and drinking my last cider when a small posse of party kids came screaming down through the trees. Dru and Cy were in tow.

One pony-tailed dude with vivid black tattoos on his bare torso made a noisy spectacle of jumping out of his saggy jeans and running into the water, throwing himself down like a cresting whale. His friends kept yelling “Snapper! Snapper!” The rest of them began making camp at the opposite end of the beach. One of the women was in a uniform, like she’d just gotten off work, but the rest looked like jobless skids. Buster was unconscious against my thigh, but Muppet was curious about these newcomers and decided to amble in their direction. I watched, concerned, because Muppet routinely ended up in situations she couldn’t handle. She wasn’t good with other dogs, and half the time she wasn’t good with people either. I loved her desperately, but had no illusions about the fact that she was a needy, neurotic mess. As the kids started to welcome her, smiling, I looked back down at my book.

“No, Brutus, no!”

I looked up, and saw Brutus before Muppet did. A healthy-looking German Shepherd with no shortage of energy, he’d been bounding through the forest exploring while his owners marched ahead, but upon spotting Muppet’s tiny white figure through the trees he came sprinting down the beach with kamikaze abandon. Shit. Muppet tensed, spotting the danger, then came yipping in my direction with great haste as I struggled to my feet. Some of the kids were jumping up now, yelling at Brutus, as he cut off Muppet’s path diagonally and sent her tumbling. He continued past her then turned, ready for another go. Before that could happen I had Muppet up in my arms, tight to my chest, with Buster tucked beside her like a football. Somewhere behind me I’d dropped my cider, and now I looked ridiculous, naked and flustered with my trembling canine progeny scratching at my bare flesh.

“Dude, that’s my bad,” the pony-tailed guy said, dripping and clutching a leash. “Bad boy, you come here. Fucking come here.”

“It’s all good,” I said. “It happens.”

“Real killers you’ve got there.”

“That’s the joke people make, pretty much every day.”

“Fuck, and here I thought I was being original. Hey, you’re the reporter, right? You work for the newspaper?”

“Will Johnson,” I said.

“Snapper.”

“You’re one of those guys who just has the one name, like Madonna?”

“I’ve got other names but Snapper’s the only one that matters.”

By this point Dru had pulled out a guitar, and was screaming his way through a Nirvana song. Cy was taking a pull from a freshly cracked beer, and the two women were now disrobed and venturing into the shallows holding hands. Snapper promised to keep Brutus leashed, apologized again, then headed back to his spot while I did the same. Muppet was whining and upset, so I knew I had to get out of there soon. I started throwing things into my bag while keeping the dogs leashed to my ankle, and decided to smoke one last joint before heading back down the train tracks. The sky was orange now, and dark shadows were forming. Paisley was probably starting to wonder where I was. A few puffs in, one of the women with Snapper stood up and walked over. Maybe 25, with messily half-dreaded brown hair and matching nipple barbells, she was tattooed, brazenly nude and completely unashamed. She introduced herself as Blayne, and asked if Muppet was okay.

“Oh, I think she’s calmed down now. She’s got her Dad.”

“You don’t remember me, do you?” she said. “I can tell.”

I gaped for a moment. “I’m sorry…”

“In Fairview, like two months ago. You took a picture of me walking my dog.”

“In Fairview?”

“Yeah, it was in the paper. I was walking like this, kind of over by Selkirk College?” She struck a pose, mid-stride, with jazz hands. It made for an epic silhouette, and I shifted Muppet closer to my lap just in case my body betrayed me.

“Oh, shit, yeah. I remember that. Right,” I said. “Hi.”

“You told me you just moved here.”

“Yeah, with my partner Paisley,” I said, mentally congratulating myself for mentioning her. “We were in Victoria before this.”

“Oh, I love the island.”

“Yeah, the only thing about the Kootenays is I find it hard being away from the ocean, you know? But I really like the culture. I’m starting to meet people. It’s amazing how many artists and musicians are kicking around.”

“I was born n’ raised here, so I’m a little over it. You’ll get to know all the locals pretty quick and then things get old fast. Everybody knows everybody, everybody fights everybody, everybody fucks everybody. That’s Nelson,” she said. “Maybe it will be different for you guys, though.”

“Why do they call him Snapper?” I asked, looking over to where he was patting Brutus on the sand. The dude looked the part of a small-town drug dealer, like a real criminal, but I didn’t want to be a dick about it. He was scrawny, feral-looking.

“Oh, in high school he snapped some dude’s arm for kissing a girl he liked,” she said. “Or at least that’s the story.”

“Is it true?”

“How true is any story?”

The Kootenay Goon

0 notes

jenni42085 · 5 years ago

Text

Week Two

Writing Prompt

Topics: Flowers, Puppies, and Alarms

Week Two: June 14, 2020

Waking up in a cold, small, dark room Apple, the beagle puppy lets out a small “Yelp!” Afraid of where she might be her small paws try to scratch at the bars but with no luck there is no way for her to get out.

“No point in trying kid. You’re stuck.” The old bulldog across from her said in a gruff voice. “Just relax, you’re little and you might be taken away soon.”

“You can understand me?” She replies.

“Well, yes I can. Name is Felix and I’ve been here for a few months or so. They feed you and gives you shelter but that is about it.” He replies.

Fear sets in with Apple because the last thing she remembered was running with her brothers and sisters running through a field with tons of flowers that always made her so excited and safe. But then she fell and accidentally got left behind by her siblings. She vaguely remembers being shoved in a box but after that she can’t remember anything else.

Apple paces in a small circle trying too figure out what to do next. “So there is no way out?”

“Don’t you think if there was a way out I would be gone by now. There is about four of us total. Just settle in and hang out. Someone in a white coat will probably get you soon to run test.”

“Test? What kind of test?”

Felix roll his eyes then lays back down watching the newbie panic. “Well, it varies. Since it is your first day it’ll probably be something easy like weight and how healthy. I think they will try different foods and stuff on you.”

“What does that do?”

“Honestly, I don’t know but I can’t imagine it is anything good. Some try the stuff and never come back. Me, I act like I eat it then throw it out and poop to cover it up so they are none the wiser.” Felix says with some pride.

“Umm ok. But what is that supposed to do if you are still here?” Apple replies making more notes of her surroundings.

“Well, it’s better than the alternative. I can’t imagine that the ones who don’t make it back are in a better place.”

Despair sets in. But Apple does see a few ways to leave the small cage she is in. She wonders if she makes a run for it when they try to get her would she be able to make it back home. “Has anyone ever tried to make a run for it?”

“Oh yeah, but no one gets very far or anywhere at all. This building is kind of a maze so it is a waste of time to try and leave. Just relax kid this is the rest of your life.”

A few days or weeks have past and Apple wasn’t sure anymore everything kind of ran together. She was still yearning to be free and play in the flowers. But thankfully no one has given her any test food yet, but while she was carried back and forth a few times she was able to get some intel on the building and thinks she might have figured a way out but something troubles her. When she was taken back for the first time the guy in the white lab coat left her alone so, she was able to walk around the lab and saw a file of her face but with another picture of a young black girl with big curly hair.

Was it her? Was she changed in some cruel joke? Seeing the picture made her try to remember more but all she could remember was flowers. Just a big field of flowers, even the memories of her siblings were fading. Maybe there was something in the water that was making her forget. This new revelation is even more troubling.

“Hey Felix. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure kid. You look confused.”

“Do you remember your life before this?”

“No, should I?”

“I don’t know, but when I was first taken back to the lab I saw myself but with human picture. Do you think we were humans?”

“Kid, I highly doubt it. Maybe they are trying to adopt you out to someone.”

“You think?” Apple replies with some hope in her voice.

Felix looks at her and worries that she won’t make it because of being contained for the first time. Granted his thoughts also went to his life before all of this and he couldn’t remember anything minus his name. He remembers everything about his time there but prior he can’t remember a thing. Maybe she was on to something but he didn’t want to tell her.

“Maybe, just get some rest.” Felix replies as he lays down on the cold hard concrete.

“Night Felix.”

Both were in a deep sleep when a loud alarm sounded throughout the room causing them and few other dogs to wake up and panic and dark. The alarm was loud and caused two lights to flash bright red lights in the previously dark room.

“Felix! I’m scared. What’s going on?” Apple shrieks.

“Stay calm we will figure it out kid.” He replies pacing quicker trying to see what is going on.

Suddenly the door burst open with a lanky black girl holding a mystery vial and syringes. “Dad! Dad! Where are you? Please be in here.” As she says this, she was running from cage to cage letting the animals loose but not before giving them all injections then running out the room.

“What was that injection? I’m feeling all sorts of weird from it.”

“I don’t know kid but here is our chance at freedom if we ever want out of here. Let’s go!” Without being told twice Felix and Apple along with the other animals made a run for it.

“Felix we are almost to the front door! We might actually make it.”

“Keep running.”

The animals ran through the door and finally smelled fresh air. Feeling invigorated from the air and seeing wide open spaces for the first time in a long while. Apple and Felix were first to run out and take it all end. In their excitement of leaving they didn’t notice the background of news vehicles, ambulances, and cop cars. The pair didn’t bother to stop but kept running into a nearby park.

“Felix, I don’t feel too good.”

“Me either. We need to find a place to hide first.”

“I don’t think I’m going to make it. What was that stuff she gave us?” Apple replies as she lays down next to Felix for warmth and security.

“Rest your eyes kid. We will figure it out once we wake up.” Sleep takes them over and they sleep in the empty plastic tube.

Sunlight hits Apple in the face but, she isn’t where she remembered. She hears beeping and feels a little dizzy, as she was trying to get up her body felt completely different. Looking down at her hands and not paws made her jump and panic.

“She’s awake!” The lady from last night yells. “Hi Apple. I’m Libby. You are in the hospital and you are safe. Felix is my dad.”

“Where am I? What happened? Why am I not a puppy anymore?” Confusion and shock took over she started to shake and cry.

“Hey hey now, it’s ok. Dad is going to come in here and explain.”

As if on cue a short fat black guy kind of resembling Danny Devito is wheeled in. “Hey kid, you made it.”

“Felix?”

“That’s me.”

Apple rubs her head trying to alleviate the headache coming on and cocks her head to the side. “Am I going crazy?”

“No kid. Apparently we were lab rats, the reason we couldn’t remember anything is because we were kidnapped and turned into dogs. My daughter had been looking for me for over a year and finally figured out where I was and she found the reversing serum and gave it to us. I have your records but I couldn’t find anything about your family in it. It looks like you were an orphan.”

Hearing that information made Apple’s heart drop but everything starting flooding back to her. The family she remembered was other orphans in the orphanage, making her realize she was actually alone.

“What am I going to do now? How old am I? This is a lot for me to take in.” Apple says.

Felix rolls closer to her and puts his hand on her hand. He had always looked out for her and helped her through and already knew he just couldn’t let this girl go back into the system. Especially, after everything they had both been through together. “Well, if you are okay with it, I discussed with Libby and my wife Olivia. Would you want to get adopted and move in with us? I know it’s all kind of sudden but what do you think?”

“You’d really let me stay with you guys.”

“Most definitely kid.”

A few months later. . .

Adjusting back to human life was kind of hard but eventually Apple adjusted to life with Felix and his family. Therapy and the fresh air helped her adjust and felt like Felix and Olivia’s true kid and enjoyed her life there. Felix had made sure that she always safe and to help with that he decided to put a small field of flowers in the backyard to make sure that she always felt connected to her past.

#flowers #puppies #alarm #week two #writing prompts

0 notes

recentanimenews · 6 years ago

Text

THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Arrives Just in Time for Episodes 57-63!

Welcome to THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Danni Wilmoth, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 50-56, and we continue this week with episodes 57-63. This week we see the conclusion of Naruto’s training under Jiraiya and move onto what we’ve all been waiting for: the Third and Final Exam. The main event this time pits genius versus failure as Naruto seeks vengeance for Hinata and Lee against Neji in round one. It’s a raging battle of ideals that leaves everyone asking, “Where the hell is Sasuke?” Before we discuss these episodes, let's take a look at a question WiseJake237 had about summoning: Maybe I'm misunderstanding the Summoning Jutsu, but if Jiraiya is such a horn toad, why doesn't he just use the jutsu to summon attractive women? It seems like one of the Three Legendary Ninjas shouldn't have to go to the lengths that this guy does. Danni: First of all, that pun had me simply croaking with laughter. Second, my understanding of summoning is that a contract has to be formed between the summoner and the one being summoned. I imagine that Jiraiya could theoretically summon women to him, but they’d have to give prior consent first. Exactly the way it should be!!! Now, let's see what the Crunchyroll Features team thought of this week's episodes! So this week’s batch of episodes began with us meeting Gamabunta, my big grumpy frog dad whom I love. I had always assumed summoning animals basically teleports them to your position to assist you, but he mentions something about it being his first time free in awhile. This begs the question, are summoning animals in Naruto basically Pokémon? And since Gamabunta can talk does that make him Detective Pikachu?

Kevin: Whether the Summoning Animals are from another world or just a different place but on the same world seems to be inconsistent. Gamabunta indicated that the Toad Realm and the Village Hidden in the Leaves are two different worlds, but if I remember correctly, when Kakashi introduced his dogs he said that they get teleported from a distant place, and the accompanying visual implied that it was just somewhere far away, but you could theoretically walk there. So in short: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Peter: Boruto gets into some weird spirit world stuff when they consult the Snake sages about Mitsuki’s location. I’m not sure if super late Shippuden gets into it. Pretty sure they’re all hanging out in some spirit world as shadows against a cave wall or something. Noelle: If I remember correctly, I think the summoned animals are from another dimension or other realm, as we never see them in the regular ninja world. Not a lot of detail is put into that, but it’s always fun to see what new summons pop up next. I never thought about frog Ryan Reynolds before, but I’m sure thinking about it now. Carolyn: I have no idea how to answer this question, honestly. But if the frog were Ryan Reynolds and/or Danny DeVito I would be here for it. Paul: I believe that ninja summons are merely a manifestation of the individual summoner's will, i.e. that there is no separate, extra-dimensional “Toad Realm” or “Dog Realm,” but that these creatures are temporarily called into being and given form and personality by the magic of Ninjutsu. I think it's closer to the Shadow Clone technique that Naruto employs. Also, Gamabunta is clearly a yakuza, whereas Detective Pikachu is a cop. Joseph: From what I recall there’s definitely another realm. Doesn’t Naruto end up there at some point? I’m going off my memory of the manga so gotta do a big shrug here, but I love the frogs in general. David: I definitely feel bad for Gamabunta in the same way I feel bad for Pokémon, who mostly get let out to fight or do jobs. He spends who knows how long locked away in some vague spirit world, only to get summoned by some brat who literally won’t get off his back. Give the poor guy a break! Kara: Too early for me to speculate. The world of Naruto has a lot of weird rules to it and I’m still trying to figure out the whole “raising children to fight to the death” thing before I go any further. That said, I am glad I’m not a summonable animal of any sort. I can’t imagine being in the middle of a nap or a conversation or whatever and just BOOM. Sorry, you’re here to fight now. Both last week’s and this week’s episodes have contained allusions to a connection between Naruto and the Fourth Hokage, and the Fourth Hokage’s portrait last week makes it pretty clear what that connection is. Did anyone else happen to see that coming before now?

Kevin: I think that literally everyone knows the “secret” before it gets revealed in the show. Make no mistake though, as we go in to Shippuden and more is revealed, the writing will be beating you with a lead pipe of exposition to make sure that you understand every single detail. Peter: During my first readthrough I think I knew as early as Zabuza since Minato appears in some photos and he has the same hair. I knew enough about shonen to know that the main character always has an important dad. Noelle: Same as Peter, I figured it out pretty early on in my original readthrough--if two characters look uncannily similar in anime, they’re probably related. Carolyn: I thought that was always kind of implied. I have seen the show before, but seem to remember making that assumption pretty early the first time around, too. Paul: I assumed that the Fourth Hokage was Naruto's Dad (a.k.a. Boruto's Granddad) from the brief glimpse of him that we got during the flashback of him sealing away the Nine-Tailed Fox way back in the first episode. No real surprises there. The bigger question is who is Naruto's Mom, a.k.a. Boruto's Grandma? Joseph: This is such a poorly-kept secret I forgot it hadn’t been revealed. David: The ‘mystery’ may lie more in why he would choose to doom his own kid to societal ostracization than if he is Naruto’s dad or not. Kara: I mean, between the resemblance, Naruto’s obsession with becoming Hokage, and the way pretty much any references to the Fourth Hokage are framed, it isn’t so much foreshadowing as a brick to the head. You’re telling me it gets more obvious? A good way to tell when a series has settled into a comfortable position is when it begins experimenting in other genres. We saw that this week in episode 58 when Naruto dabbles in horror aesthetics to flesh out Gaara’s backstory a bit. It broke its own mold both visually and thematically. Do you think this change managed to accomplish anything a normal exposition episode wouldn’t have?

Kevin: I always appreciate any work of art being taken in a new direction, so I liked seeing episode 58 do something different, and the exposition where Naruto starts to understand how similar he and Gaara are was definitely one of the more effective moments. That being said, most of the rest of the episode didn’t really work. From Shikamaru’s magically disappearing shogi board to Ino somehow just having the fruit basket to Gaara actually being as stealthy as a ninja for the first time in his life to AN ENTIRE HOSPITAL BEING COMPLETELY EMPTY, a lot of stuff just didn’t add up outside of just needing to be that way to be creepy. Peter: My second run through I was kinda flabbergasted Gaara suddenly got so verbose out of the context of writing goth poetry. That said Naruto’s response where he realized he completely understood the logic that brought Gaara to being a homicidal maniac was *chefs kiss*. Noelle: Horror always requires some suspension of disbelief in order to be functional, so even though there were quite a few things off about the scene, I enjoyed it more so for the mood it evoked. On that end, I think it succeeded-- I’m always here for series being flexible with the genres they try out. Naruto’s dawning realization that had things been a little different, he could have easily turned out like Gaara, mmm, that was good stuff. Carolyn: Ah, thank you for bringing this up. When we first started rewatching I was waiting to figure out why I used to like Gaara so much. Now I remember. Paul: While I enjoyed the way they framed Gaara as if he were the antagonist of a slasher film, what resonated with me the most was when they dug into his back-story, demonstrating how truly emotionally damaged Gaara is. Prior to that, I couldn't take him seriously as a villain, but once I got a taste of the tragedy at the heart of his character, Gaara became much more palatable. It also re-contextualizes the Kanji character 愛 (“love”) that he has tattooed on his forehead. Joseph: I also love Naruto’s reaction here. It’s one of those moments that goes a long way toward making a character more three-dimensional, and is leagues beyond the typical shonen “he’s bad so I gotta beat ‘im up!” attitude. David: I honestly thought it was a little overwrought, but I very much appreciated the attempt to use a different style to bring some weight to a backstory that might have come across as sort of absurd if played completely straight. Kara: I really like Gaara, but up ‘til now it’s been in the same way that I like horror movies: enjoying the spectacle. But the combination of his back story with (as others have said) Naruto’s reaction to it was just wonderful. I actually busted out laughing when Gaara said “You can’t understand what it’s like” because oh boy. Of all the people he could have said that to. And this scene was a reminder that in spite of his occasional annoying spans, Nart’s a good kid. The main event this time around was obviously the fight between Naruto and Neji. It seems like every fight in Naruto gets overshadowed by Gaara vs. Rock Lee, but I think I might actually prefer Naruto vs. Neji between the two. In your eyes, how do they compare with one another?

Kevin: I still prefer Lee versus Gaara, mainly because the exposition was significantly better handled. Lee has a few cutaway scenes to show his progress and one or two moments to blatantly stating what he was trying to do, while Neji pretty much had an entire episode where he just explained his backstory to Naruto (and every single onlooker, but I guess no one actually cares that the Hyuga side family are basically slaves). Comparing the fighting is tougher, since Lee’s fight was much more bombastic and over the top, while Neji’s was more technical and strategic, so I can see the merits of both. Peter: I have some more complex feelings in retrospect knowing Naruto’s actual place in the world. Even without the benefit of that knowledge the idea of hard work and never giving up allowing even failures to rise above geniuses felt a little stale given that Naruto had a chakra demon in his corner. All the emotional beats really hit hard as well. Shame Hinata didn’t get to see Naruto win. Noelle: Still on the side of Rock Lee vs Gaara, since it’s hard to beat the pure energy that comes from that fight. Admittedly, I’m not as terribly attached to this fight, but putting my biases aside, I do think the two fights serve as something completely different. One has more bombast, and the other is more melancholy and introspective. It’s a little hard to compare the two, since they accomplish two different things. Carolyn: Yeah, I also have to say Rock Lee and Gaara. A big part of which is just the fact I like those characters much more. Though, I did really appreciate Naruto echoing Hinata in his fight. He can be a very good friend sometimes. Paul: Naruto vs. Neji is important because it's not just a clash of skills, but of ideals. Naruto triumphs not just because he's tougher and / or sneakier, but because he's got a more flexible perspective and because his desire to actively shape his own destiny is stronger than Neji's fatalism. They also frame it as the catalyst for Neji to grow and change, and I'm a sucker for that kind of character development. Rock Lee vs. Gaara is much more one-sided, in that it only really highlights Lee’s determination. Joseph: I prefer Lee vs. Gaara, but this is a good and important fight in its own right. I did think it was hilarious when Neji stopped everything to laboriously explain his backstory to Naruto and the packed stadium. Hey, the ref said no arguing, he didn’t say anything about no expatiating! David: Naruto vs. Neji is a pretty bad ‘fight’ - Naruto doesn’t do anything particularly special with his skillset that we haven’t seen before, Neji has him overpowered the whole time until Naruto turns on his fox chakra cheat code, and they spend essentially two straight episode on exposition. Lee vs. Gaara wins on that front. However, it is a very good ‘conflict’, with Neji’s worldview nagging at Naruto’s core beliefs in a way that feels natural for both the world they live in and how the series has characterized Naruto so far. In that sense, this Neji battle wins out. It’s also worth noting that with Naruto’s line “I’ll change Hyuga,” he’s officially made his first Hokage campaign promise. Kara: For me, Gaara vs. Lee still takes it for the fight itself. It’s the end result of the Naruto vs. Neji fight that resonates for me more than the actual combat. The whole “gonna be the Hokage” thing, despite it becoming enough of a running gag that we track it every week, is at its core about acceptance and recognition. The fact that we see people applauding Naruto after the fight — even a few people going “Hey, that fox kid’s pretty dang good” — is so important. We’ve seen the results of Naruto’s hard work and training so far, but that’s a reward in his own language, in a way. That’s him being applauded where he was laughed at and shunned. So for that, I at least give it a nod. Sasuke managed to take center stage for most of the Chunin Exams, but in the past few weeks his presence in the show has decreased more and more. In his absence Naruto has stepped back into the limelight to finally show us what he’s capable of. How do you feel about Naruto now compared to the beginning of this rewatch?

Kevin: I definitely enjoy him more now than at the beginning of the series. I get that his character is supposed to start as someone annoying who doesn’t listen to people, but having him be more focused, competent and actually able to hold his own in a fight and so show people that he isn’t just a screw up is much easier to watch than the kid from the first few episodes who couldn’t even transform. Peter: Naruto’s fights still don’t get the same animation quality so there’s definitely some favoritism going on. Always felt that Naruto was the funnest to root for narratively but Sasuke was the funnest to watch fight. Noelle: I think more focus on Naruto is a good thing- the series is named after him, and we need to see him grow. As well-animated as Sasuke is, he’s already reached the point where he’s highly capable (even if he still has his own struggles), and there’s a kind of effortlessness in his fights. Shonen always features the underdog rising to the top, and that’s Naruto, not Sasuke. Carolyn: Kind of touched on this earlier, but for me, what makes a Naruto fight is the emotion he puts behind it. He cares very much about those around him and that comes through in his performance. Paul: I'm still not completely sold on Naruto as the protagonist. Comparing it to One Piece, I can think of probably a dozen moments where Luffy's heroism crystallizes the themes of the series, where we can see why so many people love and support him, and why he loves and supports so many people in return. I haven't yet experienced that same kind of “come to Jesus” moment with Naruto yet. Joseph: Naruto is still kind of whiny, especially when he wants Jiraiya to watch over his training, but I like the way he’s developing and getting more time to come into his own as the protagonist. David: Between his realized connection with Gaara and righteous anger with Neji’s story, I am actually coming to appreciate the sort of empathy that could make Naruto a good leader in the future - it already goes beyond him being able to Punch Good. Kara: I think what recent episodes have done for me is contextualize what annoyed me about him originally. His actions and feelings make more sense, and we’re seeing that he actually has the motivation to back up his ambitions. As always, what were the high and low points of this week’s batch?

Kevin: As odd as it might sound, Gaara telling Shikamaru and Naruto about his past is both the high and low point for me this week. I love the slow reveal about how similar Naruto and Gaara are, and the scene is effectively creepy, but at the same time Naruto is frozen with fear… which is something that he swore he would never let happen again and so is somewhat out of character for him. Peter: As above, I wish Gaara had been a bit less transparent with his exposition dump. Maybe explaining his logic without also throwing out his entire life story. Could have done that in flashback without him explaining it so that we know even if others don’t. Just getting a bit of insight into Gaara’s perspective allowing Naruto to realize their connection would have made it even more impactful. My favorite moment was Naruto running into Hinata before the exam. Noelle: High point would be the Gaara reveal. While its execution would be a low point technically, I’ve gotten so immune to shonen having lengthy flashbacks or exposition dumps that I’m more surprised when a series doesn’t do that. Carolyn: Surprisingly, as much as I loved the creepy goth Gaara exposition, my high point was Sakura buying more flowers for Rock Lee because she thought the old ones would have wilted. When this show really wants to get emotional, they know how to do it right. Low point … honestly kind of getting burnt out on how many kids have marks and bad dads. Paul: The high point for me was how they dug deeper into the behind-the-scenes politics with the secret schemes of the Kazekage, who is at odds with the peace-promoting plans of his daimyo. I really dig the ninja intrigue. The low point was all of the screen time they squandered on speculating about whether Sasuke had been murdered by Gaara prior to The Final Test. I don't think anyone was buying what they were trying to sell there. Joseph: I wasn’t that high on the attempt at horror and suspense in the Gaara ep. The boarding and execution seemed kind of sloppy and haphazard. The high point was Naruto vs. Neji and the quote of the week was Kabuto behind the Anbu mask saying, "I'm not suspicious or anything." David: Surprised no one has pointed out the almost entire episode spent on Naruto trying to get to the exam on time as a low point, because I was bored to tears. High point is Neji in the hospital after his fight. Kara: Gotta agree on Naruto’s meeting with Hinata being the high point of the week. I like seeing them encourage each other, be it actively or passively. Low point is probably the drawn-out Sasuke non-mystery. Alright, lightning round. You’re nine years old, and it’s time for recess. You and your friends are all about to play pretend as your favorite Naruto characters. Which one is nine year old you picking? Personally, I’m Shikamaru.

Kevin: Me nowadays would pick Shikamaru, pretty much no question. If I’m thinking back to when I was nine though, I’m pretty sure I would’ve picked Sasuke. Not because the girls all have crushes on him or because he’s “an Avenger” with a tragic backstory, I honestly just love all of the jutsus, especially finding interesting ways to combo them together, and he has access to more than most of the other Genin. I also remember that as a kid, the attack he’ll show off next week was one of my favorite techniques in the show, along with the Eight Inner Gates, which is why Lee is the only other person I might’ve gone for. Peter: At 9 I’d definitely want to be Sasuke, at least in this point in the story. I think at that age fighting style would take precedence over any kind of characterization or narrative. If we hit Shippuden already though, 9-year-old Peter would prefer Sasori 100%. Noelle: Young me preferred Gaara and one other character that hasn’t appeared yet and current me feels… the exact same way. My taste in characters has always been consistent, I guess! Nate: Lee or Guy. I'd have paper bags filled with rocks so I could "drop the weights" and then run around faster. Carolyn: Probably Gaara, as 9-year-old me. But now, most likely Shikamaru or Rock Lee. Paul: Believe it or not, nine year old me would go with Sakura. As a kid, I generally identified with the girl characters in male-dominated cartoons, such as Princess Allura in Voltron and Arcee in the animated Transformers movie. What can I say? I like pink. Joseph: I’d be Kankuro, running around shouting “PUPPET POWER!” at all my annoyed friends. David: Back in the day I started growing my hair out just to be more like Sasuke, so definitely him. Kara: Probably Kiba while trying to convince my childhood dog to be my Akamaru. I had a border collie, so it would either have gone perfectly or terribly. COUNTERS: "I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 23 Bowls of ramen consumed: 29 bowls, 3 cups Shadow Clones created: 258 And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto! Here's our upcoming schedule! -Next week, on MARCH 22nd, the Chunin Exams give way to an even greater conflict in EPISODES 64-70 as NICOLE MEJIAS hosts! -Then, on MARCH 29th, DANIEL DOCKERY returns as the Third Hokage springs into action in EPISODES 71-77! -On APRIL 5th, CAYLA COATES stops by just in time to introduce us to a mysterious new shinobi in EPISODES 78-84! Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time! Have any thoughts on our thoughts on Episodes 57-63? Let us know in the comments below! We’re also accepting questions and comments for next week, so feel free to ask away!!! ----- Danni Wilmoth is a Features and Social Videos writer for Crunchyroll and also co-hosts the video game podcast Indiecent. You can find more words from her on Twitter @NanamisEgg. Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

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Each week, members of the Place to Be Nation staff come together to watch a professional wrestling show from the past as a group. As they watch and interact, they also track their grades and overall thoughts in various categories along the way. We will regularly be bringing you their output here in a variety of projects and entries.

Anarchy Rulz 1999 (Viewed October 4, 2018)

Card: Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm Jazz vs. Tom Marquez Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony DeVito Super Crazy vs. Taijiri vs. Little Guido Sabu vs. Justin Credible Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome vs. Taz – ECW World Title Match Tommy Dreamer & Raven vs. Rhino & Steve Corino – ECW Tag Team Title Match Rob Van Dam vs. Balls Mahoney – ECW TV Title Match

What Worked

JT Rozzero: Tanaka’s outfit is so very 1998; Dawn Marie hache mache; Smarmy Lance Storm showing some bravado and personality was cool to see; Storm working Jerry Lynn’s ribs; Baller Jazz; Classic ECW flowing from one match into another bridged by a quick angle; Danny Doring’s bomb ass pink tights; New Jack wrecking shit; Big Fucking Sal E; Give me Tajiri vs. Crazy vs. Guido all day; Crazy’s perfect moonsault into the crowd; The ref working so hard to get Guido’s dead body out of the ring; Tajiri is amzing; Sabu just doing whatever the fuck he wants to his body and Credible’s; Credible getting splattered across a table and just sliding down in a heap; The streamers for Tanaka were cool; Taz telling the fans to shut the fuck up and the wild build to Awesome getting added to the match; Taz gathering all the heat and then getting knocked out of the match right away and then walking away in near tears; The crowning of Awesome; The in depth recap of Dreamer vs. Raven; Francine smashing Jack Victory with a chair; Main event was fine but anticlimactic

Tyler Kelley: This is DIFFERENT than WWE’s been for 15ish years (different look, feel, pacing and style) and it’s a breath of fresh air. Lance Storm and Jerry Lynn have a really good technical opener. Tajiri kicking people’s fucking heads off. Tajiri/Super Crazy/Guido is a super smooth, fun match. Also, Tajiri’s brainbuster, and Tajiri overall, f’n rules. Sabu’s bat-shit crazy high-flyin’ crash and burn style and connection with the crowd. The on-the-fly addition of Mike Awesome to the title match giving you a feeling that anything can happen. Awesome and Tanaka killing themselves and each other for our viewing pleasure. Awesome looks like a motherfucking killer here (as opposed to the Fat Chick Thriller he became once the WCW marketing geniuses got a hold of him), Raven’s promo and the Raven-Dreamer video package, RVD looks like a huge star compared to everyone else on this PPV, RVD has the “It” factor.

Trent Williams: The team of Cyrus & Joey Styles on commentary, while Joey was great on his own for all those years it never hurts to have a second man in the booth to interact with and Cyrus was the perfect choice. Really good opener with two all time underrated talents. The international three way, because any match with Tajiri and Super Crazy going against each other is guaranteed to be good. The pre-match shenanigans with Taz and Mike Awesome. Taz leaving the promotion with class and the entire locker room coming out to thank him. Axl Rotten getting the fans to quit chanting “Fuck you Taz” and telling them to get on their feet for all Taz did for ECW. The crazy match Awesome and Tanaka put on after Taz was eliminated early. The video package recapping the Dreamer vs Raven feud. RVD getting a good match out of a guy that is usually nothing more than a brawling garbage wrestler. Majority of the show was really good and definitely the best show we have watched for the Live Watch Project yet.

Tim Slomka: First time I’ve ever watched a ECW PPV and what I got what I expected with crazy hardcore spots, booking as quick as possible, crazy crowd chants; Dawn’s dress; “Is there a real pair in the business” line; giving Tazz a quality send off (can’t think of another wrestler who go that who wasn’t retiring); Lita; Epic feel of title match, including most wrestlers on the ramp for it (this is my favorite thing); all the performers who really gave their bodies for ECW, some of the spots were stupid, this isn’t my cup of tea, but A+ for effort from these guys and girls – especially Jazz.

Jacob Williams: Hot opener with great fire, selling, and an overall crispness you don’t always get from ECW; Keeping the big garbage brawl pretty short; Overall solid commentary with some great Cyrus lines -”He could be Sal’s suppository”; Super Crazy’s beautiful moonsault into the crowd; All of Tajiri’s offense; ECW elimination rules for triple threat; Sabu/Justin Credible bringing some ECW ridiculousness to show; Epic feel of the ECW title match; Awesome being added last minute; The #hossfight after Taz is eliminated; Tanaka taking some insane bumps; Overall presentation and execution of the world title match; Bringing up years-old footage to build up Raven; RVD’s charisma

Stacey O’Loughlin: Lance Storm being near his peak here; Jerry Lynn selling the ribs; a Jazz sighting; the neverending tag team clusterfuck with the run ins; a Lita sighting; New Jack fucking shit up; Super Crazy and Tajiri working like madmen; Sabu being Sabu; the crazy ass ECW Title booking; Awesome and Tanaka continuing to try to murder each other; the nice Taz send off; skinny Steve Corino; young Rhino; JOEL GERTNER; the Dreamer/Raven recap; RVD being RVD; Balls getting to have a workrate match; the overall chaotic ECW feel; and above all, Jennifer Smith discovering ECW before our very eyes

Logan Crosland: Jerry Lynn and Lance Storm tearing it up in the opener; Cyrus and Joey are great on commentary; Two awesome three way matches; Taz got a great send off; Both of the garbage matches were short; RVD being over like rover; Raven/Dreamer rivalry recap

Neil Trama: Lance Storm’s RASSLIN; wild three-way-dance craziness; even more wild world championship three-way-dance craziness; Taz’s send off; Justin Credible, Rhino and skinny Steve Corino; RVD’s main event aura

Steve Riddle: CYRUS THE VIRUS!!, This felt like a big show for ECW just weeks after getting on national TV; this was easily Lance Storm’s best stretch sans his WCW run in 2000; gotta love the ECW crowds and their chants; Jazz is ECW’s version of Chyna on a smaller scale; Angelica looking good before she became Lita; Danny Doring and Roadkill were a very underrated tag team; New Jack, SAL E. GRAZ, Tajiri + Super Crazy + Little Guido = utter awesomeness; Steve Corino, Jack Victory, and Rhino are a unique trio; only Credible would take a forfeit win and celebrate like he won the world title; Sabu still has dangerous as ever, big showing of faith for Awesome to make him the new champion; Awesome and Tanaka still have great chemistry, cool moment having the roster on the ramp to see Taz off and cool seeing Taz put Awesome over strong; pretty cool seeing the history of the Dreamer/Raven feud even though it ended two years ago; Rhino looking spry and full of energy; the Impact Players were pretty awesome by this point; at least Balls Mahoney seemed like more of a threat to RVD than Johnny Smith; clearly having RVD in the last match shows he’s the big star for ECW now

What Didn’t Work

JT Rozzero: Jerry Lynn’s awkward DDT onto a chair, the positioning was off and looked forced; Simon Diamond looks like a cross between a basic CAW and a tiny regional indy opening match dude here; Tom Marquez’s absurd selling; Nova in green; Jason still hanging around doing the same shit, but with a goatee; Justin Credible beating down the ring announcer felt a bit forced, like him as a whole; Credible using “suck it”; Credible as ECW’s Triple H; “You Sold Out” chants; As insane and wild as they were at the time, the chairshots to Tanaka are tough to watch; Jeff Jones is a clown; I wasn’t feeling Tommy Dreamer’s promo; Fans didn’t seem very into Raven at all; The World Title match should have closed the show, the crowd was burned after that; Balls Mahoney never felt like a legit threat and as a result the main event felt more like an exhibition showcase

Tyler Kelley: Holy shit is Simon Diamond a tool, he makes Justin Diamond look cool. Diamond insulting Jazz’s “flat chest and ghetto booty.” Simon SHOULDN’T say (anything really.) I have no idea who the babyfaces or heels were in the tag team match? Matches? General clusterfuck mess? I’m not even sure what matches to rank, people just kept coming out of the dressing room and I have no clue what the feuds were if there were any feuds. Justin Credible’s half-shirt-jorts combo, which might be his worst look since he wore a jockstrap on his face. Also he wore a mask as Aldo Montoya, but that’s unrelated. Justin Credible’s offense. Dreamer/Raven vs. Corino/Rhyno match. Axl Rotten promo as the show structure as the show fell off a cliff after the Taz/Awesome/Tanaka match. Closing the show with a Balls Mahoney match. RVD hadn’t quite pared the stupid out of his offense (like carrying a chair in a flip only to drop it to be powerbombed on it later or doing an Asai moonsault to land on his feet and pick up a chair). RVD/Balls match about 15 minutes too long. Ended show on a cold note compared to vibe after title match.

Trent Williams: The entire cluster that happened between Simon Diamond making his entrance and New Jack leaving the ring, all of that took away from this being in consideration for one of the best PPVs of all time. The promo Simon Diamond cuts on Jazz doesn’t age well. The ECW Tag Team Championship match had a chance to be good on paper, but it was over before it really began, although there was a great match between Raven and the ring ropes as he tried to enter the ring. The ECW Championship match not closing the show as wrapping up the show with the end of one era (Taz) and the beginning of a new era (Mike Awesome) would’ve been a great thing to have as the main event, RVD vs Balls wasn’t great enough or memorable enough to close the show. If they had done a RVD vs Jerry Lynn match then I would’ve been fine with the TV Title closing the show, but not Balls.

Tim Slomka: The whole second match being an overbooked mess; random music just playing mid match; the bell ringing throughout; beating up of Jazz doesn’t look so good either; although there is a great comment by them: “Are we off format again”; chair shots to the head; the music; main event being heatless (though I don’t mind the Tazz match in the middle); this was the era, but way to many kickouts of finish moves, especially in the Sabu match; the whistle

Jacob Williams: Missing member of Lit; Simon Diamond and his sideburns; The complete mess of brawl with New Jack and friends; Most people in the brawl looking like jobbers; Sabu and Justin Credible dragging on too long; Ending with RVD vs. Balls; The brutal chair shots to the head through 2018 eyes; Justin Credible as a big time heel; Dreamer’s overly babyface promo feels off for the tone of ECW; Uncomfortably misogynist crowd responses

Stacey O’Loughlin: Dorks like Simon Diamond, Tom Marquez, Tony DeVito and Jason hanging around; Justin Credible; all of the disgusting chairshots right to the brain cells; Network overdubs; not knowing what was happening half the time; the last couple matches being an anticlimax; misogyny

Logan Crosland: The whole second match mess with Simon Diamond and Jazz; New Jack’s existence; Credible going over Sabu; Not ending with the world title three way; If you weren’t going to end with that, you need to choose someone better than Balls to go against RVD; Raven not being more involved with the tag match

Neil Trama: The tag team match that ended with 30 random guys getting in the ring; New Jack’s overdubbed Network music; Balls Mahoney in the main event; peak-1999 gratuitous bullshit chairshots and man on woman violence

Steve Riddle: Why is Simon Diamond around?; obviously seeing man on woman violence in 2018 feels so wrong when it was well accepted in 1999; flowing from one segment to the next was fine once in a while, but ECW went way overboard with it at times; Nova wearing a Green Lantern ripoff outfit; using a staple gun was way too much; Justin Credible: ECW’s most overrated superstar; a bit weird Awesome was added at the last minute and having the ECW Title match in the middle of the show; tough for ECW to lose their top star only a few weeks after losing their top tag team in the Dudleyz; I get Taz was leaving but he was made to look like a bitch here losing so quickly; Dreamer and Raven as Tag Champions just doesn’t feel right as they feel like natural rivals; as great as Francine is, her as Dreamer’s valet seems bizarre as no one can replace Beulah; random time for Axl Rotten to call out Mike Awesome; RVD/Balls should probably been in the middle of the show and not the last match; to do a bit of fantasy booking I would’ve had Taz retain the title and have a unification match with RVD at the next PPV where he puts RVD over clean as the new top face of ECW

Match of the Night

JT Rozzero: Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido Tyler Kelley: Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido Trent Williams: Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido Tim Slomka: Awesome vs Tanaka vs Taz Jacob Williams: Awesome vs Tanaka vs Taz Stacey O’Loughlin: Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido Logan Crosland: Awesome vs Tanaka vs Taz Neil Trama: Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido Steve Riddle: Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

Worst Match of the Night

JT Rozzero: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Tyler Kelley: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Trent Williams: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Tim Slomka: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Jacob Williams: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Stacey O’Loughlin: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Logan Crosland: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Neil Trama: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito Steve Riddle: Chris Chetti & Nova vs. Simon Diamond & Tony Devito

MVP of the Night

JT Rozzero: Mike Awesome Tyler Kelley: Mike Awesome Trent Williams: Masato Tanaka Tim Slomka: Masato Tanaka Jacob Williams: Mike Awesome Stacey O’Loughlin: Super Crazy Logan Crosland: Mike Awesome Neil Trama: Mike Awesome & Masato Tanaka Steve Riddle: Rob Van Dam

Best Live Chat Comment of the Night

JT Rozzero: “Blood adds a star” – Jennifer Smith Tyler Kelley: “His mullet was too great not to be in the match.” – Jambalaya Jake Trent Williams: “I never knew Taz and Sting had the same first name of This Is” – Tyler Kelly Tim Slomka: “His mullet was too great not to be in the match.” – Jambalaya Jake Jacob Williams: “So much blow.” – Tim Slomka Stacey O’Loughlin: “What the hell is happening??” – Literally everyone at some point Logan Crosland: “Is that the White Trash Green Lantern?” – Jennifer Smith Neil Trama: “Is that the White Trash Green Lantern?” – Jennifer Smith Steve Riddle: “Future Rapist Dawn” – Stacey O’Loughlin

Show Grade

JT Rozzero: 7/10 Tyler Kelley: 7/10 Trent Williams: 8/10 Tim Slomka: 6/10 Jacob Williams: 7/10 Stacey O’Loughlin: 7/10 Logan Crosland: 7/10 Neil Trama: 6/10 Steve Riddle: 7.5/10

Match Grades

JT Rozzero: ***½; ¼*; *¼; ****; ***; ***¾; **; *** Tyler Kelley: ***½, DUD, ½*, ****, ***, ****, *��, ** Trent Williams: ***3/4, DUD, DUD, ****, ***¼, ***½, *, *** Tim Slomka: ****, ½*, **, ***, ****, *, ** Jacob Williams: ***½, ½*, ½*, ***¾, **½, ****, **, **½ Stacey O’Loughlin: ***½ , *, **½ , ****, ***, ***½, *½, ** Logan Crosland: ***½, ¼*, ¼*,***¾ , ***, ****, **, ** Neil Trama: ***, *, *, **** ¼, ***, ****, **, ** ¾ Steve Riddle: ***½, DUD, DUD, ****, ***, ***½, *½, ***½

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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wellmeaningshutin · 8 years ago

Text

Short Story #78: Soda.

Written: 3/27/2017

An actress stands on a set that is supposed to look like a kitchen, but is missing one of the walls and makes her feel like she is a doll house. This has been her first acting job, which she only decided to take up after she needed money for rent, and a casting scout had approached her in the supermarket, talking rapidly about how inspiring it was to see her take detergent off of the shelf. As she is standing at the kitchen counter, dolled up as some sort of 50’s house wife, with a can of soda in front of her, a director gives her instructions.

“Alright, now try to hold the soda up in your right hand, no wait, your left hand. That’s it, now move it up and down. No, keep going, we need to do this to calibrate the camera. Okay now hold it up like its on display, like your some girl on a game show displaying the cash prize that the contestants just won. Now pretend like you’re drinking it, but act like you’re really downing it, as if you were at a party and there was a really drunk chick that you wanted to sleep with, and she was super willing, so you had to make sure that you were drunk enough for it to become ethical, but not drunk enough to become impotent. Okay, now crush it against your head. Wait, that’s right, its not empty. Shit. Sorry, you’re acting is just very top notch, I was completely invested in your performance and I completely forgot that the can was full.” Then he paused to clip and light a semi-flattened cigar that he had kept in his back pocket.

The actress was unsure if this was actually for a commercial, or some sort of practical joke television show, but in the end she didn’t care either way if she got paid.

Smelling the tobacco smoke, the camera man tells the director, “Woah woah woah. You can’t smoke in here, do you know how flammable film is?”

Holding up the cigar and staring at the camera man, “Isn’t that a digital camera?”

“My bad.”

Placing the cigar in his mouth, and talking in a muffled sort of way, “Alright, actress, now I need you to, actually. You,” pointing to the child who was sitting on a cooler, and the actress was unsure if they were somebody’s kid, or if this was just their job, “Bring her a soda, but bring her one of the name brand ones. Yeah, that looks nice. Okay, now, actress, pretend like you’re drinking the name brand, that’s good, wait, no you ruined it. Don’t pretend like it is good, you have to be disgusted by it. Name brand is disgusting, it is carbonated spit, it is what smokers, who have lost their sense of taste, dink just so that they can get the effects of the caffeine that is hidden inside, like a diamond ring in toiled full of piss. And when I say piss, I mean the kind that is incredibly dark, like so dark you either should call a doctor, or drink some fucking water so that it can clear up.” Taking a break to puff on his cigar, which is now burning unevenly, “Okay, yeah, yeah I can believe you think its disgusting. It’s like you are actually drinking that name brand bullshit. You got talent kid.”

The camera man walks away from his camera and goes to get a drink from the child’s cooler.

“Okay, now I need you to throw down that soda in disgust, like you just drank a can of sea water and are revolted by it, so revolted that you have to break the can, that you have to watch it become obliterated so that nobody will have to make the mistake of drinking it like you did.”

“Where do I throw it?”

The child will not let the camera man get one of the drinks, he claims, “Its against regulations.” Taking a puff from his cigar, as he contemplates the actress’s question, the director accidentally inhales too much and gets into a coughing fit, and the girl just stands there, holding up the can, patiently waiting. The camera man lifts the child off of the cooler, ignoring the cries of, “I’m being harassed by a disgruntled employee! This is a hostile work environment!” Taking all of this in, the actress wonders if she got high and forgot about it. Sometimes when she smokes pot, weird shit happens around her and she just has to kind of deal with it.

“Okay,” finally catching his breath, the director continues, “Okay, sorry about that. Throw it at the counter, right across from you.” She lobs it, but it only bounces off of the counter, lands on the floor, and the only difference in the can is the now bulging top. “Hm, that’s probably good enough, we could probably fix that in editing.” Waving his cigar in circles, dropping ashes into his lap, “Maybe we could add in some sort of explosion, or like a laser beam or something coming out of it, and then.. Maybe the.. Yeah this is it.” Leaning in close,”Okay, so put the off brand soda in its place, and after the can of what-tastes-like-gasoline explodes into a ray of lasers and light, the off brand, the nectar of the divine, will magically appear in its place, as if it was an act of God. A miracle. Do you believe in miracles?”

“No,” the actress replied, “I don’t think I do.”

Fishing out a name brand soda from the cooler, while extending his left arm to keep the child at bay, the camera man pitched in, “You really ought to believe in miracles, there are plenty of things in this world that are still amazing. Like, for example, the sunset, sun rise, morning dew, that new car smell.”

“He has a point,” Said the director.

“What is his point supposed to be? How are any of those miracles?” Questioned the actress.

“If you don’t want to open your eyes to the magic in the world, I wont do it for you. Now, pretend like you are somebody who is somewhat happy, who isn’t some sort of jaded, deadbeat hipster who thinks its cool to be so detached that she can’t understand the magic and the glory of a fucking sunrise. Look at the can in awe, as if it was your dead childhood dog who had come back to life, with a check for a million dollars in its mouth. No, you don’t look in awe enough, you have to.. Okay, pretend that its your old high school crush, and he came back to see you, still young as he was when you loved him, and he takes his pants off and his man hood goes all the way down to the floor.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Now sitting on the thrashing and screaming child, to keep him from intervening, the camera man opens his can of name brand and drinks it back, almost in one go, tilting his head back and enjoying every last drop. When he takes a break to catch his breath, he lets out a satisfied, “Ahhh.”

Noticing this, the director becomes livid and chucks his cigar at the camera man, “What the fuck are you doing? Tommy, why did you let him get a name brand soda?” Whatever the child is trying to say, it is impossible to understand, but it sure is angry. “God damn it, I pay you more than anyone here, and this is how you fucking treat me? You’re just going to turn around and bite my hand, let him know that name brand is the actual amazing brand of soda? The brand that tastes like what Scarlett Johansen’s sweat must taste like? God damn it, if you let people know that then whats the point of these commercials?” The actress still stands there, confused. “Alright, Louie, get off of him. Tommy I want you to get on the set right now, you have to be punished.”

“But,” the kid said defiantly, “I don’t want to!”

“Its in your contract you little shit, and if you don’t do that then I don’t have to pay you, then next thing you know you’re going to go back to making shoes until you grow blind. Yeah, that’s right, nothing to say now, is there? Alright, pretend girl,” pointing with his cigar, “I need you to, wait, first, Tommy, pick up the name brand soda, that’s good. Okay, girl, I need you to ball your pretty little hand into a fist, and I need you to punch that kid so hard that his nose goes into his skull.”

“What,” said the actress, as she placed her hands on her hips, a habit she had when she was livid, “Why the hell would you want me to hit a kid?” Tommy closed his eyes, anticipating the blow.

“Well, in the context of the commercial you catch him drinking that soda, what is probably what Danny DeVito’s sweat tastes like, and you have to punish him for committing an obscene act. For ruining American values by drinking that stuff, it tastes so bad that it might as well have been made in a communist country, massed produced for people who live in dirt floors and-”

“I’m not going to fucking hit a kid!”

“Don’t worry, its not real, this is all acting.”

“So I should pretend to hit him?”

“No, I want you to really knock his lights out. Give him the ol’ one-two, enough force to make sure that he has brain damage.”

“Then how is it just acting?”

“It just is! Fucking new actors think they have everything all figured out, you know what, if you won’t kill this kid then I can find somebody else who can! This city is full of doe eyed girls, just like you, who would jump at the chance to kill a child with their bare hands, just for the chance to be famous. Shit, nowadays its either that or snuff films, and I’ve worked on enough of those to know that their fame never lasts for long, and god damn government regulations-” Without waiting to hear the rest of what he had to say, not saying a word herself, the actress just walked right off of the set, out of the studio, not wanting to have anything to do with that man.

When she got in her car, still in the stereotypical house wife get up, she decided that it would be best to call the police about the whole ordeal, worried that somebody really was going to kill that kid, or that the director really had been responsible for other deaths. “911, what’s your emergency?”

“Hey, I just did this commercial for some weird off brand soda, and the people there insinuated that they wanted me to kill a child, and there mentions of sweatshops and-”

“Hold on one second, don’t move, we will be right there.”

“Wait, how do you-”

“Do not be afraid. We are on our way.” Click. Unsure if this was how it was supposed to go, mainly since she had never had to call 911 before, she questioned if she should wait for the police to arrive so that she could tell them everything, or if she should be gone by the time they showed up, just so she wouldn’t have to deal with the film crew again. After gawking at her hairdo in the rear view mirror, interested in how it looked since she never got a chance to see, she noticed a black sedan, with fully tinted windows, pull up behind her. Two men in black turtlenecks and jeans got out of the car, as if they were cartoon badguys that somehow stumbled into the real world, and they approached her car.

One knocked on the driver’s side window with a gun, she asked, “What’s going on?”

“We are just responding to your call,” said the man, “Please get in the car with us, let’s not make this worse than it has to be.”

Inside the sedan, waiting for her, was a man in a suit who handed her a business card that revealed he was a part of a conglomerate that was comprised of many different off brand soda companies. “Please don’t say anything until I’ve said what I had to say,” he said, “Us off brand soda folk don’t like it when women speak out of line, we like to do things the good ol’ American way. Now, you’re probably wondering why this is happening, but the answer is pretty clear.” The car started to drive, heading somewhere unspecified, “You see, we have more power than you think we do. Do you really think that off brand is just a bunch of cheap soda companies that try to make generic tasting drinks, just to cash in on the diabetic market? No, we are all working for the same people, all working together, and we have more power than it may seem. We even have control over the police.”

“Now, one of the cornerstones of a free market economy, of this capitalism that you Americans seem to love so much, is the fact that customers get to choose what succeeds and what fails. In a way, it is stronger than your voting system, because there is no electoral college to get in the way of things, its all by popular vote. Sure, it has the flaw that those with large amounts of money could tip the scales, could choose to allow business, that should have failed, to keep moving on, but that is another flaw of your voting system, it is the same ideas behind super PACs. Are you able to understand this? I’m just wondering, because I know you’re brain has a smaller capacity for thought than us men do.”

“Fuck you,” She said.

“Well, don’t get all ornery at me, that’s just facts. Don’t tell me you’re angry at the truth, that’s just the way things are. But your anger at the real world, your choosing to live in your bubble where you believe that men and women are equal, that children have rights, that gays don’t have a mental illness that is worse than schizophrenia, it all relates no my next point: advertising. See, advertising lets us tip the scales in our favor, it lets us steer the herds of consumers, so that businesses will do better to thrive. In a way, it undermines the whole system, it dissolves the popular vote, and that’s what we plan to do. Americans love to live in false realities, they like to think that the outside world is different than it actually is, and would rather believe a load of entertaining bullshit, than solid facts.”

“You may be wondering, how does this all tie together? What the hell is this guy talking about? Why is this turning me on so much right now? Well, first off, its my cologne, my deep, manly voice, and my beautiful head of hair. But on terms of tying all of this together, I’ll make it easy for you to swallow. See, we’re not from these parts, but we’ve been able to slowly establish ourselves, to worm our way in, and our goal is to delegitimize the whole free market system. We want to show America that its worse than it thinks it is, we want to show it that its just as bad as where we come from, so then our countries system, which is unfairly rigged, can go without criticism. What we aim to do is take down all of the name brand soda companies, convince the consumers that its no good, construct a false reality and a bubble, through the use of a thorough advertising campaign that makes use not only of commercials, but also sponsored content, and even some fake news, some misinformation, and we will let the consumers think we want them to think.”

“They will start to purchase our off brand sodas, and the name brand stocks will plummet until they all go out of business. When that happens, our companies will rise, but we will all be under the same umbrella, forming a monopoly, destroying the free market in this area, its just our first step on tearing down western capitalism. When everyone wakes up in the morning, and realizes that all soda is very mediocre, and that there are no alternatives, they will go to their politicians, and demand that they get rid of the free market, and instead have the government control the market, so that-”

“This is the dumbest fucking plan that I’ve ever heard.” Said the girl, “There’s no way you could talk down to me, while trying to go through with some plan to peddle shitty soft drinks in an attempt to destroy capitalism. What the fuck is-”

Pointing at her, “YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN CAN NOT HANDLE THE INFORMATION!” The car stopped, the turtlenecked men got out of the car, “Your brain only thinks its dumb because you cannot understand it, you just are insecure about yourself so you project it onto others, you stupid fucking woman. Now, step out of the car.”

At first she didn’t move, but one of the men grabbed her by the shoulder and yanked her from the car, and when she was finally outside she realized that they were in a landfill. The goons were aiming pistols at her, so she decided to just stand there.

“You see this massive landfill? This is our main factory,” goons began to laugh, “This is where we get our main ingredient from off brand soda. We dig up this garbage that is soaked in garbage, rotting on top of more garbage soaked garbage, and so on and so on. We mash this into a liquid, carbonate it, and pump it out en mass. And you know why we do this?”

She only looked at her feet.

“Its because the masses don’t understand quality, they only understand what we tell them. They like to have people point their fingers and say ‘this is good’ and ‘that is bad’, and before you try to argue, think about why religion is so popular? Hm? Its because people love to be told what to do, but let me tell you, religion is very real too, but its easy to lead the lambs astray. Do you know that there is a war going on? The rapture is happening any moment now, and the only way that we could allow it to happen, to unleash our lord, Satan, upon the Earth, is to destroy Western capitalism, the true holy land. So when we get rid of the righteous name brands, we get rid of everything that is preventing hell from coming to Earth.”

“Satan will rise up and enslave everyone, and people will think, ‘Oh no, who could have seen this coming? What could anyone have done to prevent this? How did this happen?’ And they’ll never realize it was all of their faults, it was because they listened to what we wanted them to listen to, they were too fucking stupid to realize that they were drinking carbonated garbage while they only wanted to fit in with everyone else. If they really wanted to be cool, if they really wanted the only type of quality soda, then they would have stuck with the delicious name brands, but its already too late, the gears are already turning, stocks and sales are already plummeting, and there’s no way that we could be stopped.”

“Wait,” she said, “If any of this nonsense is true, then why the hell are you telling me this?”

“Well, we’re very secretive, it gets really lonely, you know? Like, we’re just a bunch of losers who have nobody to talk to, so I figured that before you blew the whistle on this whole thing, and I had to kidnap you before you did that anyways, I could just get all of this off of my chest. I really needed this, its nice for met to hear all of this out loud. Alright, I’ve said my part, boys,” pointing to the gunmen, “blow her brains out.”

Before she could resist, one of the men had stepped on her back knee, which forced her to drop to the ground. As she tried to get up, the other man hit her across the head with his gun, knocking out one of her canines, and when she reeled in pain the other man put the barrel of his pistol to her temple, said a simple, “Hail Satan”, and then pulled the trigger, covering the man in the suit in her blood, brains, and skull fragments.

DON’T KILL AMERICA, DON’T SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESSES, DRINK PEPSI.

#Free Write #Short Story #Writers on Tumblr #Advertising #Capitalism

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