#i keep thinking abt wanting to kms man its NOT funny xd
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Idk abt yall but this week ive been feeling like reallllllyyy depressed. Like 100% hopeless why am I alive type shit. Idk if it's because of the *time of the year* or just cuz. my depression is getting worse again lol.
But tell me I'm not alone cuz I honestly idk what to do w. myself atp.
#I also dont want to make tomorrow terribly depressing but man my unconcious is killing me lol#Like i have plans how to make tomorrow a more bearable day but#i keep thinking abt wanting to kms man its NOT funny xd#But idk like ye wdyd? bc even when i play happy music i get frustrated and just. Want to do something bad to myself bc crying doesnt do it🥲#I hope it will get better by today afternoon. I have Things to do#omg. Im like. Really behind w school work but honestly i dont give af. im glad i didnt kms yet honestly.#Whatever ahh i just had to let this out cuz i want the thoughts to go away lol. Ill get myself together and tomorrow wont be that ubearable#not more than any other day at least hopefully 🫠
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wow, would you look at that! it's been a full ass year since you fucked me over! september 29th.... yeahh..... XD our fuck-you-versary! hi clifford!
in case you dont remember, the name piko might jog your mind. yeah thats me!! hellwo!! honestly you shouldve known better than to stick with your old username but hey props on you for changing it last minute! almost didnt find you for a second lolll!!
i wanted to drop in and say HEY! HELLO! HI! and give you some status updates :3
update one: i'm getting better!! no thanks to you, of course. and actually i should say we're getting better. yep! thats what happens when you suffer so bad your brain cant take suffering solo! XD
update two: while my mental health has been at an all time low ever since you fucking dropped me like a fucking ROCK, ive been getting over things lately! my clean streaks are now longer than a week! i no longer want to kms! im even making friends again!
update three: while both of the above statements are true, you still live in my mind rent free. i remember when i first stumbled across your blog a few months ago, i had a full on spiral! not anymore, though. i am STEEL, BABY! also you spinning in the mental microwave rent free is why i'm sending you this heartfelt ask!
man.... even when i try, i still find you somehow and its never intentional. like imagine scrolling the tptm tag only to be straight up jumpscared by your ex best friend's username! how embarrassing!
also i'm sorry but i have to say the reason(s) you left are sooo fucking stupid..... what, cus i was weird? come on. everyones a little weird. even a little deviantart weird. oh and because of some stupid opinions that shouldntve even mattered if you were actually a friend? get real, trey. what if i left your ass because you had a fuckin biting kink? that wouldve been funny actually. like making a sad callout post on twitter thats just "my friend left me because i wasnt vanilla enough!" XDDD
oh, and if you ever see your "stalker" again, assuming you're not thinking its me and that its actually your previous qpr or whatever the fuck, say hi! i find it funny as FUCK, since, you know, you were considering cyberstalking me at one point. and tell chaos i said hi too. i'd also mention mayu, but do you two even keep in touch anymore? probably not, considering the weird things she's done.
anyways thats the end of my relay. if you dont want these kinds of asks again, i suggest either turning asks off or just straight up deleting your tumblr and/or making another one that is NOT connected to any username youve used in the past, because in that case i'll just find your ass again lmaooo. remember! every year on this day will be the day i remind you that you are NOT allowed to stay sane X3
sincerely, your most hated, piko. (i hardly use my old blog anymore, so have fun finding my current blog! and do what you want with this ask, make a callout post, scream into the ethers, reply to it, idc.)
this should stay private but idc
i know what i did was wrong piko! i was 12-13.
dont take this as me excusing myself. i had horrible emotional regulation back then, ive healed from everything back there. you dont deserve to be called out because ur like. 14-15.
do not bring mayu or chaos into this,weve all healed and forgot abt you.
i overreacted bc of very worthless things because i was basically obsessed witj you, you were my fp, if you didnt know.
completely forgot you even existed, i havent been checking your profiles at all in months. you shouldnt either, please forget about me. you'll drive yourself crazy.,
if you think im going to "cancel" you, no im not. for your sake, please dont interact with me anymore. i apologize for how i acted over stupid things, but we were both young and idiotic. im also a system, i dont even remember half of the things you did bc of that.
move on. ive moved on, weve all moved on.
dont bother yourself with me, you dont need to.
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