#i keep seeing posts reassuring people that they arent bad for not thinking about their f/os often. but all for the wrong reasons

[girlyaois]

I honest to God think a lot of the moral fears surrounding whether you think about your f/os enough or if you comfort your f/os enough in your mind or if YOU do enough FOR your f/os can... really and truly be answered simply by being reminded that they aren't real. you do not morally owe any of your f/os your time, effort, or emotional availability. because they aren't real, and you are. and it's OKAY to say this. it will never be immoral to acknowledge we daydream and draw fanart for ourselves and our joy because we're real people, they're not, they don't need anything from you. don't exert yourself worrying about people who don't exist.

[harvest-of-the-present]

hi, I hope it’s OK to ask this…

I’m a pagan who believes in a few different deities from different cultures, but lately I feel like I either don’t make contact with them or like they aren’t ever present. I feel bad because I don’t make altars for offerings/worship (partly because some of my family is anti-pagan). Do you have any advice or similar experiences you wouldn’t mind sharing?

hello! It's completely fine to ask this and I actually relate to your situation so I hope my answer can help a bit. The only people who know I'm pagan are some close friends who live far away so I'm also in a kind of tricky situation when it comes to offerings/altars. I'll write about some experiences I've had and things I do as alternatives and try to worship as I wish to in a way I can. It turned out to be a bit of a long post so it continues under the cut!

About feeling the deities' presence, it's okay to not do so. It happens, and I personally may feel them more when we get to know each other and as time goes on I usually feel in at specific moments or when reading/searching about them or something related to them. Sometimes when I'm on my own and think about them or something I want to do in their honor, too. The thing is, that doesn't have to always happen, and it does not have to mean they arent necessarily there or listening to you. Because they are, and I've had prayers being answered in times where I felt disconnected or even left behind for not finding time for my practice. If you reach out, there'll be there, even if it doesn't always seem obvious. Something that has helped me in these situations is to think about what kind of way to communicate with them works better for me at that specific moment. Sometimes I have alone time and I feel inclined to do a tarot reading. In other occasions, I leave praying for right before I go to sleep and I tell them about my day and wish them a good night. I've recently found out that already written prayers work the best for me when I'm busy and/or stressed because of exams. Repeating and hymn and/or a prayer with your focus on it can be more relaxing and reassuring that I remembered, but this can depend on person and situation so finding out what feels right for you could help.

In terms of altars, the most similar thing I have are Pinterest boards. However, you could always choose a specific part of a piece of furniture to put decorations on if their religious meaning isn't that easy to deduce. I don't personally have this, but when I give simple food offerings like some water in a mug, I always leave it at the same place to symbolise it's for them, and being such a common thing like water it's hard for others to suspect it is a religious offering. I've also seen an altars picrew going around to create your own digital altar, and other ways to do this could be a collage or even a tumblr blog to keep prayers, offerings and things that remind you of deities in the same place, just like a usual altar would work like.

So, most offerings I do are devotional acts. Praying, journaling, writing down affirmations, carrying things that remind me of them with me, establishing a bit of a self-care routine, listening to playlists of them, going out in their honor, thinking about them as I go on my day, being thankful towards them and the guidance they give me. The intention to honor them and that thankful feeling is always there. Sometimes it can be as simple as dedicating a break time to them, or perhaps they have advised you to do something for yourself in the past and you try to implement that in your days as a way to honor them and their words, too (that's, for example, my case with meditation, as I've always had a hard time finding a good moment in the day for it but Dionysus encouraged me to continue trying and I've found it's an activity that helps me feel more grounded and less anxious).

I think you can also adapt this depending on how you see your relationship with the deities you worship. I mostly like to see them like we are getting to know the other as I get through life, kind of a wise companion that I can rely on, so that's why I tend to tell them about my days from time to time. In other cases, when I still haven't established much contact with some, I will write them some appreciation quotes or little texts I come up with. These are usually based on things I see or find that remind me of them, so it's kind of a way to express my admiration and respect towards them. If you have more of a mentor-apprentice relationship, which is my case with The Morrígan, little acts related to what they want you to work on can be very appreciated. Getting to know them and their advice can be really meaningful in our relationship with them, that's what I think and have experienced.

Just like we like to get to know them, they will appreciate that we time time out of our days to let them now about ourselves. Both you and the way you can worship are enough, and deities will see your efforts to reach out. I hope this helped a bit and gave you some ideas!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Damn I sent u that ask like 2 or 3 hours ago and u already did it? (The one with the Kinger angst)

Props to you ^^

But anyhoo, u mentioned that the angst thing became more of Kinger’s grief than the original one which made me curious as to what u had in mind? Sorry I know I already sent a request today and I kinda feel greedy about it

Feel free to prioritize other requests! I feel like I overstayed my welcome or more like ur inbox lol

More Kinger Angst!

i must admit, i said that rather loosely! my creative process for these posts is a little untraditional (i think, i mean it doesnt sound like something other people do but maybe im not special LMAO) but i go in these posts with vague ideas that i dont really expand until i actually down and write :0 if that makes sense ! vague to refined !! that said (grips my silly ideas) and dont feel bad about requesting too much! nothing wrong in sending in an additional request now and then, itd be different if you were spamming or swamping up the inbox (neither of which youre doing) so no harm there! uhuhuh building up off of the other main idea from the previous post that i didnt get to explore because i got caught up in the grief; kingers paranoia other post

touching up on the idea that hes constantly worried about you and the fact you might get hurt or abstract, i think there would be ups and downs with his mental health... some days hes okay, but others its like hes taken a nosedive, you know?

kinger already is shown to be a very paranoid individual but to see that getting worse? like im not sure about you guys but i personally know first hand what its like to be constantly in that sort of headspace for an extended period of time (admin note, im fine now this was years ago and it was surrounding a family members health) but it can really destroy a person

lack of sleep, constantly on edge, irritability, your tolerance for bullshit really runs into the ground, things like that. you start lashing out or you start isolating. i personally see kinger being more of the isolation type, but given that he feels the suffocating urge to keep an eye on you to make sure youre okay... its like a loop, it just keeps going and it keeps getting worse

i think if you want to see a stop, or at least a moments peace, youre going to have to slam on the breaks and try to get him to calm down. help him ground himself, reassure him, work a system for the two of you to make sure he doesnt get too caught up in his own fears.... though i will admit that im a little stumped on how exactly to help him (given that this is a lot of self projection on admins part, the thing in their life that happened only stopped because the issue itself was forced to a stop by outside means)

take him away from IHAs that are getting too intense or overstimulating, walk him over to a quieter space so he can regather himself

take him out for walks around the grounds so he can get fresh air.... or at least... the closest you guys can get in this world.. better than to be cooped up in a confined space with other people in it

just let him. be and experience things in the moment rather than letting him drown in his own thoughts. is it a long term solution? no, but he needs to have a moment to breathe, you know?

but we arent here for comfort, we're here for angst

i think sometimes he would stay by your door at night, caught between disturbing you and checking on you to make sure youre okay. its a ritual of his every night, multiple times a night he feels the overwhelming urge to make sure youre still there

i think he does this with other characters he may be close to, like gangle and ragatha (admins personal hcs).. but i think sometimes it would bleed into wanting to check in on the others every now and then

^totally not borrowed from admins day to day of needing to check on things they know are okay a dozen times a day though its usually stuff like making sure everything is locked and shit

thinks

[air3d3lalm3na]

I went to the bar to see some local music and the local gay gender weirdos + their friends invited me over to their table.

they were obvs a little tumblrheaded but thats okay.

i went to a bonfire at the house of the one.

their intro was made by the one saying that he/theys friend “thinks im cute”. i hung out anyway, did not get scary vibes. at all. and lmfao im not interested in this friend at all. but. there were no overtures made the whole night. lets keep it that way.

(its so awkward and concerning when its another genderfucker bc if i say “sorry i dont swing that way” and the individual has bad boundaries, they can try to pull some kinda insane shit like “well actually i can be a man or a woman for you or whatever. so you actually DO swing that way because i am that gender too and you are misgendering me if you disagree ergo fuck me” where they pretend appearances and the physical arent real and sexuality isnt related to it and everyone is zero apprarance preferences having bi/pan. I was preparing myself for it to happen and to bounce if things got weird but it didnt.)

all that said. the other friend they have who hosted this tiny thing has a family with money and DID NOT BRING OUT ONE SNACK FOR ANYONE ALL NIGHT until the very last moment. one muffin. insanity. what kind of host/ess are you. wtfffffff lol basic manners i know you lnow better than that.

that same person was nice enough to get me an uber home despite it being apparently in the same general/next town lol. like i walk during the day while sober. no chance of that tonight and no buses this late. oof.

had a good time.

definitely hoping on making the move temporary so i can get back closer to lgbt ppl in/near the city asap.

but it did reassure me that i “can make friends wherever i go.” :) her words. something she ALWAYS told me i could and would be good at, despite my life’s setbacks. that “people are going to love you, so much, trust me.” feelings.

(she was so good at making friends wherever she went. even in the deepest parts of her ptsd. even in our car times. people loved her. but the world was and could be cruel, too. and she carried so much hurt from that. an understatement.)

i feel so much in so many things. every day is about her, as much as and more than before. loss and healing, healing and loss, all at once.

I should be able to come home to her and give her these updates. In detail and getting deep into all the personality details together…discussing and understanding the world together. Getting help and guidance. I can’t. instead, I post them here.

[wickedpact]

life's hecticness has finally kinda caught up to me and im just feeling super worn down and im seeking comfort in the old guard and because your blog always sparks joy ive come to you. on the subject of comfort do you have any thoughts on coping mechanisms/ways to comfort themselves the members of the old guard have? and similarly, ways they help comfort the others too? i would love to hear any and all thoughts you might have on the matter <3 - 2ta

in terms of comforting others:

nicky: words. i think its kind of interesting, but every time in the movie we see as character in emotional distress nicky speaks up (its okay nile, tell us, sono qui, everything happens for a reason boss) the only time he breaks this habit is when booker talks about grief in the lab.

booker: we dont rlly see booker explicitly comfort people much but he does seem to tend towards expressions of solidarity or subtle check-ins/expressions of concern (for the former he tells nile about his family, he tells nile big wounds take longer to heal, he reminds andy that ‘this is what you wanted’ and for the latter he asks andy post-stab if shes alright, he tells andy he wont see her again, etc)

hes also quick to (rightfully lmao) accept blame (after the kill floor, when he wont get up when the squad escapes, and the scene where he and andy get captured)

joe: he doesnt do a whole lot of comforting to the non-nicky’s out there interestingly enough. he encourages andy like the others do just after the baklava scene (i know you needed a break but its been over a year boss) he also tends to make little light hearted jokes/comments to lighten the mood sometimes (this plus 'faster than the elevator', etc)

and i suppose one could say him answering nile’s questions during the dinner scene are a type of comfort in itself, tho .. .... his answers arent exactly reassuring lmao

nile: So are you good guys or bad guys?

joe: Depends on the century

(j o s e p h you could have given her a more reassuring answer than that!! altho depending on the person, straight honesty can be very comforting in of itself, and joe prolly knew that andy would dance around nile’s questions and be generally unhelpful)

but additionally joe is a pretty strong protector and worrier about his friends’ well-being. he advocates for finding nile in the train scene and tells the others to ‘cover andy’ when they find out shes mortal

(plus the little touch he does to andy’s back!)

andy: andy’s mileage varies when it comes to comforting (primarily nile of course bc shes the Distressed One in the movie) but a lot of the time she tends towards offering stability and loyalty (me and those three men in there will keep you safe, you’re one of us now we would do the same for you, [to nicky] this changes nothing) which of course makes sense for her. stability and loyalty obviously probably mean so much to andy and as Team Leader shes probably very used to offering those things

nile: nile is more the comfortee than the comforter in the movie for all the obvious reasons, tho i think its interesting that at the end she tells andy ‘youre gonna [spend the time you have left] with us, andy’ not only bc shes delivering that stability/loyalty right back at andy but also bc shes also a leader (in the marines) so she might have a similar situation as andy with offering stability & loyalty as a Leader

being comforted:

nicky: the most notable instance of nicky being upset and getting comforted is obviously the van speech, tho like ive said i doubt joe’s go-to method of comforting nicky is a Speech. tho also (obviously & as ive talked abt a lot) i think he takes a lot of comfort from the idea of destiny/fate and the idea that he and The Lads were all destined to be together. he lomves his friends and hes happy when theyre happy

booker: alcohol.

honestly im not even sure how booker would really like to be comforted/comfort himself besides his given Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms. i think he does take a lot of comfort in his Solidarity with andy tho. considering his ‘that way madness lies’ comment about the immortality and his comment in the comic about ‘whats the purpose of an uncertain immortality?’ and his tendency towards tech, i think he’s the kind of person who likes when things are explainable and logical (and u could say thats a way he foils with nicky i suppose)

joe: him touchy

ive been meaning to make a gifset thats just Joe + Reassurance Through Touch but i keep forgetting about it. hes a very tactile boyo. in the comic while theyre having the nile nightmare joe reaches out and physically grabs nicky’s arm/shoulder in his sleep, like hes subconsciously checking hes still there. he worries So Much about the others (nicky in the armored van, nile in the train scene, andy post-mortality) and their well-being that i think he takes a lot of comfort in knowing all the lads are okay and safe (esp nicky)

andy: like i mentioned i think she likes loyalty and stability, which is obvs something shes had a serious lacking of throughout her life. ik u arent super into the comics but the recent tales through time story about andy went over how she takes comfort in the idea that her axe belonged to her mother once, even if her modern-day axe has had all its parts and pieces replaced so many times its not the axe her mother gave her 7000 yrs ago anymore. however andy still clings to this idea of her axe being her mother’s axe (‘this is the labyrs she held in her hands’). the memory of her family/mother and the stability of having the same axe with her through her history obvs comforts her a lot.

nile: again similarly to andy i feel like loyalty/family comforts nile a lot. she followed her father’s footsteps into the marines and worries about her loyalties to them through the first half of the movie, and tries to go home & thinks about her mom and brother through the whole thing.

(plus, music obvs means a lot to her)

[hanniiesuckle17]

Skz Reaction: S/o Having Mental Health Issues

A/n: I hope you guys like this. I thought I would keep this one vague so it's more their reaction and not necessarily to a specific type of mental health issue. (Not thoroughly edited srryyy)

Requested by: @mrsunshine999

Tag List: @distrikt9 @mini-meanhoe @poeticallyspaghetti @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @yangomangos @hoes4hoseok

Bangchan:

So obviously I think Chan would be the most supportive put of all the boys (all would be supportive but you know what I mean)

If it is something that you have treatment for he would always remind you to take your medication or drive you where you needed to be

He loves seeing you smile so he would do his best to always make sure you're smiling

Chan understands though that it can be hard for you to stay happy at certain points

So he learns to pick up the sort of signs you give and acts on those

You always come first though

So If you want him to give you space

He gives you space

If you want him to let you handle it

He let's you take care of yourself

If you want him to just hug you and help you

You best believe he would run to you from across the earth

Minho:

Minho is definitely more the type to care from afar

After you told him about your mental health you were probably surprised at his reaction

He seemed unbothered by it

Minho would certainly be concerned but he knew that if you needed his help you would ask him

He probably does like a quick one hour dive on the internet about whatever type of mental health issue you have but not more than that

He probably suggests cat therapy about a million times when you bring up something related to your situation

You're still not sure whether it's a joke or not (you can never tell)

If you're having a really bad day or attack or episode he'll be really upset if you dont tell him or he isn't the first person you call

Definitely has your therapist or doctor on speed dial

I think one of the reasons he cares from a distance is bc he is a little embarrassed he doesnt know how? Like he isnt ever sure what you could possible need from him

He hates seeing you struggle especially if there is something he can do about it (he just doesn't know what)

You would probably have to actually sit down and talk with him about how he can help bc he is not going to ask you hes too shy or embarrassed

Changbin:

Changbin is definitely the most on top of everything when it comes to your mental health

I feel like he would be the one to have a solution for every problem and a plan for every possible situation

He probably has a binder with all your info in it so he knows how to help you when you need him

He lowkey becomes your dad....like when he leaves for tour or something he probably writes down a bunch of phone numbers you already know and sticks them on your fridge

He is the king of checking in on you though

Whether you have a bad day or not Changbin always texts you and asks how you're feeling

He never pushes you though because he know he can be a little excessive at times

Changbin hates seeing you frustrated especially when you are mentally blocked

So he likes to do these things he calls 'stress sessions'

Basically he pulls out every single plushie the two of you own and holds them like punching bags while you hit them

Believe it or not it actually helps a little sometimes

He never wants you to feel helpless because of your mental health

Hyunjin:

So Hyunjin would probably be one of the clueless ones

And he is probably a little shy to ask you questions at first because he doesnt want to offend you or invade your personal space

He probably would ask Chan for advice bc Chan knows all

He does his best not to treat you any differently than before

It makes him realize how strong you are to have been dealing with something huge like that for such a long period of time

He starts doing little things for you like helping you out with chores or getting off work a little earlier if you say you had a bad day

At times he thinks it's silly and what he is doing doesnt help so you would have to reassure him that it does mean something to you

Probably comes up with a system so he knows when you're having a really bad day

Still is mostly clueless even with the system

Hyunjin cares alot so he would probably move heaven and earth just to make you feel even a little bit better

I feel like he would be one of the most patient of the boys

Even though he doesnt know how to help some of the time he knows just being there for you when you need him is enough sometimes

Jisung:

I think behind Chan Jisung would be the most supportive having dealt with Mental health himself

Somehow he always knows exactly what you need

It's like he has a sixth sense just for you

He also knows to treat you no differently than if you didnt have these issues

The two of you would be each others support system

So you would fall on each other when you need help

He comes to you when he has trouble with his anxiety and you always come to him when you need him

I feel like rest is a huge thing for him so he always makes sure to mark out a day or a weekend so the two of you can rest and check in with each other

Jisung would also probably want to know as much as he could about whatever type of mental health issue you had so he could help you in the best way possible

So he probably spends some of his spare time doing research on how best to help you

Mental health is a huge deal for jisung

So he always let's you know he is there for you and cares about you

Felix:

Felix takes you telling him about your mental health very seriously

Like jisung I feel like he would do some research about whatever type of mental health problem you had

Felix would probably be the most attentive out of the boys

Not attentive.....um...maybe observant is the word. Yeah observant.

Felix has always been super aware of how others around him are feeling so I feel like he picks up on things fairly quickly

He probably sets up a system with you to gauge how you're feeling. (Like a scale of 1-10 or he uses the red light green light system) something like that

Felix is like the ultimate caregiver though

He loves taking care of people so I feel like If his s/o pushed him away he would really know what to do with himself

But he would ofc give you your space

At times he might tend to coddle you but you know that it's just because he cares

Felix always does his best to make sure you always have a safe space to go to.

Whether that's him or a therapist or a random space in the house that is just yours

Seungmin:

Like Minho I think Seungmin is definitely the care from afar type

He just wants to know that when he is away for such long periods of time he knows you are going to be okay without him

He probably takes the time out of his day to organize your medicine or your appointments

Seungmin definitely wouldnt be afraid to ask questions if he didnt know something

He also gets sort of defensive when youre in public

He has dealt with hate before and he really doesn't want you having to deal with it at all if he can keep it from happening

Seungmin is also one that probably likes to just check in on you from time to time (especially if hes away)

You guys text alot

You probably have a secret code word for if you are having a really hard time (idk something like 'pineapple')

He would always come rushing to you if you needed him

He feels really anxious when he is away from you like on tour sso you are always on his mind

Seungmin would always be looking out for you even when you think hes not

Jeongin:

I feel like you physically have to tell Jeongin about your mental health

Bc this boy probably wouldnt notice at first

Hes just caught up in how wonderful you are

He would probably feel really honored that you chose to tell him about it

He would probably ask you questions about it if you felt comfortable answering them

It would probably take him a little while to adjust to how It affected your life but he would do his best to try and remember every possible thing he could do to help

If you live together he would probably put little colorful post it notes around the house with reminders about your meds or appointments or little messages

(Most were for you/but they were helpful to him too)

Probably asks Chan, Jisung, or Changbin for advice if he really is clueless about something

Jeongin probably does little things for you like maybe picking up groceries for you or cleaning the kitchen or doing your laundry

Just so there is one less thing you have to worry about

He always trys to make sure you know that you arent ever alone

Request are Temporarily Closed!

Masterlist

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[ineedsleepleavemealone]

Heyyy problem children or whateva, I havent posted in a while so let's do what bnha characters would do if you were hurting yourself okay? Okay.

TW: mention of self harm and scars/suicide- I have done this to myself before and ik how it can affect people so I beg you that if you are sensitive to this please do not read this. I have tried to keep it light hearted though as to hopefully not make anyone cry.

N e waysssssss

Iida:

• * cue hand movements *

• I feel like he would be training and would look over to see you laying underneath a tree, short sleeves and trying not to give in to your sad thoughts

• and with genuine worry would come over and sit next to you and pull you up into his lap (given you two are together) and would place his hand on your cheek

• "hey are you ok my love" he would ask with literal concern visible in his voice

• you would have let yourself cry at this point and would be shaking in his arms trying to steady your breathing

• like to the point that you couldn't form words (aswell as being humiliated that you are vulnerable and are wearing short sleeves) so you would just look down and fiddle with your hands

• to which he would look down too and see scars, faded and new, covering the lower part of your arms and wrists

• I'm not gonna lie, he is a really sweet person and I feel like hes kinda innocent too so he would probably gently wrap one arm around your waist and one on your wrist while asking something like "my love who's hurting you? Is it a villain? You should have said love I could have helped you"

• and your response would be a violent shake of your head and you would look up at him and weakly smile and mumble "m-me. I'm doing I-it"

• that's when out of instinct he would make his hand movements being like "that is highly dangerous, if you were to damage yourself for good I...i" and letting himself feel sad he would whisper "I wouldn't be able to bear it my love...please dont do this anymore, I can help you"

• I feel like he would then pull up your wrists and softly kiss each scar and whisper to you "see, I'll kiss them all better for you"

Because I ship erasermic so much I'm doing these to together sooo your just best friends with them in this one. Shouta and yamada:

• shouta wouldn't have noticed if you didnt flinch when he gripped onto your wrist to make you listen to him

• immediately dropping your hand he would look concerned and would call mic over "hey mic come here for a minute I think y/n needs us"

• you would frantically try to walk away because you arent prepared to let them see what you have done

• but as you try to walk away shouta would again grip onto you, your hand this time, and would turn you around so you were facing both mic and him

• letting your hair fall forward as your look down in a desperate way to stop being confronted, mic would move from hugging shouta to lifting your chin up so you are eye level with them

• "y/n? If your not ok you can tell us you know that right?" Mic would say looking into your eyes

• and avoiding his own eyes you would simply nod before shouta suddenly grabs your sleeve and pulls it up, showing new scars covering your arms

• with eyes widened on all 3 of you, they would almost immediately smother you in a harsh hug and I have a feeling hizashi would probably cry aswell as you, leaving shouta to try comfort you both

• finally pulling away from you, and quickly burying mics head into the crook of his neck, shouta would looks at you deeply and try to give you a reassuring smile with an "it's going to be ok, it's better that we know now and can help you"

• with sudden urges of wanting to hurt again you place your arms behind your back and scratch at your newer scars, causing them to bleed

• and taking note of what you are doing shouta would use his binding cloth to take your arms and skillfully wrap around them like a bandage

• and face dropping to the floor once again you would let out a small sigh "I'm, I'm so sorry for disappointing you guys..its just so hard and sometimes I dont want to be here or even exist anymore.."

• so then mic would unwrap his arms from shoutas waist and move so hes hugging you again whispering anything he can think of to you like "no no you dont get it, you could never disappoint us y/n"

• eventually, with mic once again in shoutas arms but facing you this time, they convince you to let them help

• and with them both being teachers they know exactly how to make sure your ok and constantly check up on you

Let's add a villain into the mix shall we

Dabi:

• this mf will tease you endlessly about anything- apart from this

• and having scars himself he would literally know how they feel so it would probably hit close to home for him

• laying in bed with you, only him being awake, he would lay onto your chest and let his eyes wander over your body, just taking in how lucky he is

• which is when he would see your arms

• and silently he would curse at him self for not knowing sooner but would know what to do

• so with out walking you up he would get up and find some soothing oils to help heal your scars and soothe the pain, then woukd wrap your arms gently in bandages before laying back down and laying protectively next to you

• when you wake up however you go about taking of your bandages, but as you go to get out of bed he grasps around your waist and pulls you back pushing your head softly against his chest whispering "no doll-face, you are not leaving my side today, and even though I tease you alot you know I love you right?"

• knowing that he knows, you let yourself back to sleep after mumbling an apology

Oooh im at my last one already😭well here

Tamaki amajiki:

• poor baby would just cry infront of you out of confusion and sadness

• would maybe find out when he goes to hug you from behind and feels you wince as he touches your arms accidentally

• he would apologise like 10 times over how bad he feels that he hurt you and would pull up your sleeve to try and see if he really hurt you

• and would look at you in shock and you start crying, knowing what he is going to see

• moving round to being infront of you, he pulls up your sleeves and looks in shock, and immediately crys

• pulling you into a hug and burying his face into your soft hair he would whisper sweet things to you in an attempt to calm your unstable breathes like "hey im here, I can help dont worry I'll help" and will just keep going until he can feel your heartbeat slow down

•then he will wrap his arms around your waist firmly and in a more serious tone and his intense glare would say "okay baby I know this is hard for you, but even if you dont want me to I'm going to help you through this" before letting himself collapse into you in another hug

Ok so I hope yall are all ok after reading that, if not here🍫🍬🤜💕have some food and love and calm yo self down, it's ok. Have a nice dayyyyy

[daisy--sorbet]

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it. 

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity. 

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy? 

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent). 

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?). 

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″  (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe. 

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned. 

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene. 

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there! 

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed. 

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh 

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad. 

[thelaudown]

hyouka poly slowburn so its like: (post-anime)

satoshi and mayaka are dating all through highschool and houtarou and eru are maybe a little more invested than friends would normally be, and step in when they have problems to a degree that regular people would call a boundary issue.

houtarou and mayaka still give each other shit at every opportunity, but theyre much more outwardly friendly than before, and if she ever argues w satoshi houtarou is the first to say that theres no way its her fault. maybe one time it is and he confronts her abt it in a way that forces her to take him seriously. its the respect and codependency for me. 

mayaka and satoshi have functioning eyes and houtarous feelings for eru are completely obvious to them. unfortunately shes a little harder to read, so they never really get further than being very close friends and committing to being together for the foreseeable future, as far as this road will take them - its the same dynamic for the entire friend group, but satoshi starts seriously considering a proposal in third year. 

he and mayaka will be seperated through college - she wants to go to art school, he thinks he might like to be a teacher (specifically of like, textiles or language) and he thinks long distance is too much to ask of her. after a serious conversation she agrees and they take a break through college, but they are tentatively engaged, will be keeping in touch, and want to pick things back up once theyre both in the same location again. 

mayaka and eru flat in college, bringing up mayakas long buried feelings for her, and theyve always been so touchy, and she has a feeling that erus guilty about something? but she doesnt want to get her hopes up. she gets really frustrated and confides in the only person who knows both satoshi and mayaka and isnt involved - HOUTAROU, who attends a less prestigious college than eru but is taking similar business courses (he hasnt forgotten) and is commuting from home. 

hes closer to them than satoshi, but theres still a little distance and they dont meet as often as theyd like, partially bc he doesnt often make the effort - the energy he does have is expended on his classes, bc he has a motivation to do well - if he does, maybe eru will consider him without him even putting himself out there. anyway she still calls him on the phone all the time tho. 

he doesnt really have any advice when mayaka speaks to him, but hes quick to reassure her that satoshi wouldnt be bothered by her feelings - "because its eru". functioning adults refer to each other by their first names. it was a super embarassing transition period but theyre used to it now. 

so mayaka takes the leap and eru admits that while shes never really been one to dwell on romantic feelings, she reciprocates but is concerned abt satoshi - she loves him too, after all, and he and mayaka were/are/will be a great couple. she ends up confessing this to houtarou, filled w apologies and assurances that he neednt worry abt her personal matters, but he doesnt mind listening. anyway it stings (in a sad way, not a bitter one) that she apparently has interest in both mayaka and satoshi but not him, but he REALLY cant blame her. he tells her that he doesnt know how to advise her and she thanks him for listening, and then he does probably the most meddlesome thing hes ever done and calls satoshi and tells him everything. 

satoshi is really cool abt it, and hits him w "lol if theyre dating what if i just take you out to lunch. fairs fair. what do you mean you dont know about my massive crush on you, mr observer didnt pick it up? oh wow okay youre really stupid when it comes to yourself. ill pick you up on friday" and then satoshi calls mayaka and gives her his blessing and assures that he loves them both and wishes them the best and wow they REALLY need to catch up soon. hell bring houtarou and they can compare date notes! and he hangs up. 

satoshi is still kind of a petty guy and he probably only confessed to houtarou bc he was taken off guard, but hes not being inauthentic by any means. this is the new improved satoshi 2.0, who is becoming more comfortable w there being things he doesnt like abt himself and working on them and getting his feelings out constructively, rather than pushing them down and refusing to put himself in situations that might turn out badly. he gets his hopes up again, and is happier for it even when hes let down. 

eru is shocked to hear abt houtarou and satoshi. mayaka isnt. they talk abt it, interspersed w making out, and are shocked to realise that they like both of them - mayaka is ESPECIALLY taken off guard, both by her own feelings and erus, which shed never noticed before. she almost tells eru abt houtarous 3+ years of pining, but stops herself lest things get messy. shes starting to get an idea, but needs to tread lightly. besides, its not like houtarou wld ever like her. theyre barely even friends. it doesnt all add up as evenly as shed like. 

for houtarous part, hes genuinely in wtf mode irt satoshis feelings for him, and hes been in eru chitanda hell for so long that he never considered anything else, but now that he IS.... satoshi isnt so bad. he was always really cute w mayaka, when he wasnt being annoying for fun and profit. sure. okay. so they do some gay double dating through college, but the cross couple pining dont stop. satoshi is absolutely still obsessed w mayaka, but houtarou doesnt mind bc he cant take his eyes off eru whenever they meet up either. 

she still calls him on the phone all the time, and when schoolwork picks up he often finds himself calling her w thoughts or questions. they do some more thought exercises, but they dont need to argue as an excuse, and she barely has to badger him anymore. one day he looks at himself and sees a functioning adult who spends a moderate amount of energy on things that arent necessarily necessary, and wants to sigh, but. hes happy. 

college ends and they all find themselves back in kamiyama - satoshi is student teaching at their old middle school, eru is hard at work for her family, mayaka is working while she works on her manga debut, and houtarou is working while he figures out what he actually wants. 

its clear to all of them that mayaka and satoshi need to have a talk, so they do, and they come up with... poly. its unconventional, but they really are happy, and they really do love each other, and mayaka would love to start wearing her ring again (satoshi never took his off, and she pretended not to notice but she had the biggest lady boner over it). 

so now sometimes eru and houtarou are hanging out while their boyfriend and girlfriend are out on dates being engaged, making up for lost time and considering the practicality of marriage while they both have sidepieces, and houtarou and eru are pining BAD, but neither notices the other and he asks how her business is going and maybe kind of offers his assistance platonically. 

so now THATS happening, and satoshi and mayaka get to talking one day abt how those two should date, shld we do smth? and if they did then the only pieces missing are mayaka/houtarou and satoshi/eru which is a beautiful dream but wld never happen, what do you mean he/she wld love to date you, wait really, oh my god, what, are we doing this, 

and houtarou who has been working himself up to confessing for the past SEVEN YEARS, never gets to bc satoshi and mayaka interrupt while theyre at work and do it for him 

[swellwriting]

You said to suggest some Halloween/ autumn themed ideas, so my suggestions: newt on a sunny autumn afternoon walk in a park, or a forest, with leaves turning red, the sun still being warm, but cold air (all that nice, fluffy stuff), or trick or treating/ Halloween with Fred Weasley in hogsmead. Just two suggestions, in case you're looking for stuff ;)

Sorry I took so long to answer this BUT BEFORE HALLOWEEN COMES AND PASSES I BETTER post this before the season changes to full throttle CHRISTMAS 

I need tow rite for Newt more I love this sweet boy!! Send me fall/ Halloween requests!

~~~~

Fall was a good season for Newt, it was cool enough that he could wear his fancy jackets or his knitted sweaters that you liked so much, windy enough to nip at his nose and make his face this lovely shade of light pink amog a sea of freckles. The leaves falling and changing colours, orangey browns like his messy curly hair. He looked like he belonged here. 

Here, specifically, was a park, in an unknown city. Small enough to be uncluttered with people but big enough to have a home for many trees and critters that lurked under the fallen leaves. You're twirling a yellow leaf between your fingers in one hand and the other is intertwined with his.

Walking at a slow pace, nowhere to be, no creatures to chase. The only creature at a reasonable distance was Pickett on Newt's shoulder, clutching onto a tiny piece of your leaf that you gave him, he likes to feel included.

Newt was starring at the ground as he stepped on the leaves and they crunched beneath his boots. He hadn't said anything in a while which was odd, he was pretty cheery this morning and when he is in a good mood he never shuts up, not as much so as when he's worried though, that’s when the anxious rambling starts.

“You’re thinking about Credence again arent you?” You ask quietly and he looks up at you and forces a smile on his face, you can see the nervousness in his eyes.

“Yeah,” he says quietly as he nods his head looking back down at the ground for a moment.

“I'm sure everything will be okay, in the end,” you say even though you don't mean it. Trying to reassure yourself in the process.

“I feel like ever since I met him I have never stopped worrying about him.”

“To be fair you’ve never stopped worrying about anything. If he were here right now standing in front of you, you would still be worried,” you tease lightly.

He chuckles quietly, “guess you’re right.”

After a minute he speaks again, not having moved on. “I just don't know what to do to stop him. To get Credence or Queenie back, Dumbledore hasn't talked to me in weeks...” he trails off and you feel bad for him. 

“Have you talked to Theseus?” You ask, poking at another sensitive topic, but most topics are sensitive these days.

“Not since we saw him last.”

“Well, we should invite him over for dinner.” You suggest and Newt stops walking as if thinking and walking were too much to do both at once.

“He hates coming to our house.”

“Then we should offer to come to his, I'm sure he could use some help, I can clean up his house a bit, make him dinner, you can offer him a bit of distraction, some company. Something else to worry about.”

Newt smiles, you're so caring, whether it be one of his creatures, to his brother or himself. He can’t help but feels his chest tighten with how much he adores you right now. He grabs your cheeks and smooshes them as you smile up at him, placing his forehead on yours.

“I very much love you.”

You giggle at his jumbled words. “I very much love you too, and your clearly excellent grammar, Mr. Writer.”

He smiles so big his eyes crinkle as he kisses your nose lightly, not one for PDA even in an empty park, he knows Pickett is watching from his pocket.

He grabs your hand again and turns to begin walking home, when everything is falling apart he is so glad to have you to keep him going.

[wwounu]

mafia!jeonghan “YOON” #11

↻ masterlist — intro￤s.coups￤yoon￤hong￤wen￤hoshi￤jeon￤woozi￤dk￤kim￤xu￤boo￤chwe￤lee

traitor

member of Venor Unit

his role is more of a spy, however jeonghan likes the term ‘traitor’ more than anything

there are many rumours about him

only a handful have been picked to be debunked as true or false

for years he’s still been rumoured whether or not hes a member of seventeen

surprise surprise, he is

and the story of how he was recruited was one he’d never forget

because who would forget his missing nineteen-year old childhood friend climbing up to the top of his penthouse, at 1:27 in the morning, and suddenly break and walk into your bedroom like it’s no big deal?

in other words, he wasn’t pleased to see his dearest seungcheol

his friend was talking about all sorts of nonsense the moment he startled awake: japan, gangs, tattoos,, bad haircuts,,, poisoned ice cream??

this wasnt the seungcheol he remembered

so with mixed feelings, jeonghan told seungcheol to crash on his bed while jeonghan would take the couch and asking seungcheol to take a shower because he looked like he came back from a fight with a shark

when morning came seungcheol was trying to explain jeonghan about the wonderful complicated world of mafia business

but jeonghan had none of it — it sounded unreal

on top of that he was more fussed over seungcheol leaving for two years and not telling his own friend about it

with all this anger building inside him, mainly due to the stress of trying to get his head around this whole... thing, he told seungcheol to leave and go back home

seungcheol gave a look at him, a hard look, before he sighed and stormed out of the place

jeonghan didnt miss the small ‘no one ever stops to listen to someone like me’ under seungcheol’s breath

and never in their friendship they brought light upon their many differences, so it kinda tugged on jeonghan’s heartstrings

it saddened him knowing he didn’t give the welcome his friend wanted but at the time he thought he was in the right

then for the next two weeks, seungcheol was desperately trying to get jeonghan to join his ‘mafia’

(mafia in asteriks, because jeonghan wasn’t having any of his bullshit)

through messages, messy letters, he even received a collection post-it notes stuck around his penthouse without traces of who did this even though he fully knew well who it was 

and that night jeonghan was paranoid that seungcheol would randomly break in again

then the desperation for help stopped for the next month

although jeonghan did enjoy the attention from his best friend and wanted to continue this ‘fun’ game, he began to grow concerned

his best friend disappeared without a trace. again.

the cope was harder to deal with this time, because the insignificant thought about seungcheol truly being a mafia boss was becoming the host of his nightmares

you best believed the utter shock on his face when he saw seungcheol sat beside his door around midnight

hood up, dirty head to toe and one nasty cut on his lip and cheek

jeonghan was supposed to go to a party, but that priority was ignored straight away

he takes seungcheol in, aiding the cuts before doing anything else

as jeonghan would expect from the man, seven year old seungcheol would be screaming ugly noises with snot running down along his tears

but this other seungcheol didn’t flinch at the pressure of the alcohol touching his skin, and looked in every direction to avoid jeonghan

that — thankfully — hadn’t changed

seungcheol always payed attention to his surroundings when he doesnt want to be in a situation. it happened a lot with his father

so jeonghan asks why he looks like shit

and all the anxieties rush to his brain as the thought of his lash of anger to seungcheol caused the latter to end up like this

questions like when did he last eat?, where did he stay?, did i do this?

but seungcheol started explaining himself

something about these high schoolers ganging up on a sixteen year old in their school because of his looks, seungcheol stood up for this said ‘sixteen year old’ and found the four-against-one fight fair play until they brought out knives and seungcheol was like youve got to be kidding me

and suddenly, one thing led to another and the sixteen year old lit a tree on fire???? and he lifted a stray branch, took out a lighter, then lit it before storming to the high schoolers with a maniac-like look on his face

and the kid was then gone as he chased the high schoolers away

seungcheol had never been more confused

but he had to get out as there was still the,,, burning tree there,,,,,,

and when he finished his story, he paused, falling silent again and sort of bitterly saying ‘sorry, half of the things i say sound unbelievable now’

and jeonghan is a bit offended but he wasn’t going to push seungcheol away yet again

so jeonghan tells him that he believes him and at first seungcheol kept arguing that he’s bluffing for his sake

surprised, jeonghan reassures him again and again to get it through seungcheol’s head that he’s going to join him because he’s going through a hard time, anyone can see that

remaining silent, seungcheol nods before he manages out a thanks

they apologise and forgive each other, and later that night seungcheol tells everything — and i mean everything — about his family and the mafia

it was a heavy night for seungcheol

which brings us to today

since jeonghan was born into a rich family, it made seungcheol’s job way more easier than it was as jeonghan had higher class connections with others while his friend kept lowkey

he can have news alerted to him quickly like updates on parties, social events, scandals, some juicy affairs here and there, all that corrupt high-society crap

and he gets the odd word about some mafias in korea, making it his duty to report all of it back to seungcheol

with seungcheol’s command, he does whatever he instructs him to do, which is to spy on any updates of the situation

hence why he’s always out at fancy social-events

its truly a bore though. he’d rather sleep in

you may think he’s just acting naive most of the time — but he’s listening to every word and every moment he can sink in all around him

the highlight of the night is when everyone gets drunk, which is the perfect time to hear their dark secrets and use his sweet-talk

effortlessly finds a way to manipulate his way to invite himself and seventeen, who’d he’d call associates, to any banquet whenever he senses dirty work will commence

his pretty-boy looks usually do the trick ‘seventeen’s pretty boy’, the group calls him

makes the time to take care of the member’s schedules and invitations to these places, even going to the extent to make replica invitations

creates a plan of how the members enter so that they wouldn’t be seen together and raise eyebrows

particularly during these events, other suspicious men try to keep a close eye on jeonghan due to the rumours of his relation to the seventeen mafia

yet they’re wasting their time because he’s never in one place and socialises with many people

often when he strays on his own, he explores the area and wanders from room after room to find anything else valuable

normally reports to wonwoo what he finds through an earpiece

‘i found a diary’

‘youre going to open it arent you’

‘risqué, she keeps a taser and a ton of money in her lingerie set’

‘dont take the money’

‘wasnt going to’

‘jeonghan drop the roll of money right now’

‘... fine’

‘okay’

‘i took the taser instead!’

did i mention that he needs to ‘borrow’ a belonging as his souvenir for the places he visits

and because of junhui, he has semi-mastered the skill to hide all evidence

also pretty much hates it when he’s rushed, needs to take his tiem with everything (excluding when they’re in grave danger then that’s different)

mouth runs a lot so when he really needs information to be spilt, he exposes other lowkey scandals to get the information he needs

this is where he gets his traitor title from

if he’s framed as a traitor, he turns the tables around and either puts the blame on someone else or on the person calling him a traitor

he’s grown up in this corrupt class and knows all the dirty ins and outs of it

when he feels like he’s being interrogated to spill information, he takes control of the conversation and does subtle things like asking for things usually pouting when doing so or complimenting on one thing before discussing something completely off topic

he can never expose seventeen and will never expose them even if he’s dying 

another off-topic fact, he calls people babe a lot

mainly because it makes people feel a certain way, but its jeonghan’s self-acclaimed magic word

that word does things

is also a part of A Team, but due to the fact jeonghan is always busy, they dont work together as often as they used to

looking at soonyoung, wonwoo and jeonghan, you wouldn’t think of them to be that close but they’ve had history

out of all of seventeen, he’s the weakest in terms of weaponry since he’s basically just a informant to seventeen

therefore his choice of weapon are usually used by the closest thing to him

prefers glass as his choice of weapon if he had to choose, so because of this minghao frequently gives him smashed wine bottles for jeonghan’s use

a bit of a brat

but seventeen never mentions it

loves seeing people beg in front of him, especially when theyre desperate

this might be because he likes attention on him

teasing and poking fun at them gives him the greatest joy, it leaves him so satisfied but also wanting more

normally after difficult jobs done by the whole group, when Perficio Unit are clearing up the last of the evidence and killing the last of their suffering enemies, jeonghan skips in to take a wonder around too

Perficio Unit let him because its jeonghan

blood is soaked everywhere, many men are on the floor, some dead, possibly not, and their fancy suits all ruined while the four males finishing the job play jazz music on blast as they take care of the remains

just another job for seventeen

and jeonghan inspects each face, making sure the fear is their eyes while theyre slowly dying from blood loss. if they arent, then jeonghan pulls a gun out of his pocket and points it at them, getting the reaction he wants

(the gun was full of blanks anyway, what’s there to be scared about??)

decides to steal a wristwatch from one of the men and gets told off by the unit because they now have to get rid of jeonghan’s dirty fingerprints for stealing the accessory

loves it even more when Perficio Unit are in the middle of an interrogation (on most occasions they lead the questioning) back in their hideout and pops down to see how their ever-so suffering victim is hanging in there

generally summoned down if 1. wonwoo is busy or 2. they need the victim to speak a bit more

jeonghan doesn’t play once he comes down — but its inevitable that he’ll make sure that he gets the satisfaction that he wants from the person held captive

will stay until theyre sweating and crying in a mix of blood and tears and they are begging in front of his feet while tied up. he wont stop the torture unless the person confesses truthfully to what Perficio Unit ask and feel numb around their whole body that it hurts

uses the taser he stole in addition to let the pain sink in even more, also decorated the taser to have stickers of a halo and wings to look like an angel

when they get the answer they want, it’s a job well done for jeonghan

and when the victim thinks its all over, jeonghan sweetly grins one last time to them, turning foot because, really, he cannot do anything to the poor soul

he shrugs and walks, searching in his back pocket for a gun a filled one this time, twirling it around his fingers before handing it to one of the unit members

without skipping a beat, he smiles, whispering ‘enjoy’ and leaving them to do their job

needs the members as much as the members needs him

a perfect balance

“Somebody said it means imperfection and danger”

[catfish-and-the]

aight ive been getting super emo over my favourite sunny eyed dreamboat boy mr sir van mccann so im just going to record my catb concert from three years ago here so it doesnt “wisp away with the sands of time” as i wrote in seventh grade (not after the catb concert) disclaimer i kno that some catb fans say that catb arent the same as they were way back when and im not here to counter that but this is what happened to me when catb were still small and it was 2015 and i know that things mustve changed but im here to document my own experience my hands are shaking btw

June 9 2015 - Varsity Theatre, Minneapolis MN

We got to the venue super early cos we wanted front row or something super fuckin close to front row and yeah man there were maybe like 5 people ahead of us super cool i had my clear backpack, my classic clear concert backpack, and im not really sure how we passed the time but eventually i was “sent on a mission” to see what lies in the alley between the venue and the adjacent building and so i walk over as casually as possible and i pass by the alley and turn my head and lo and behold tall boy Van is standing there in his green reflective sunglasses and dark outfit and i fuckign STOP cos van just he radiates this wonderful energy of that classic leo magnificence but hes smiling, hes friendly and he waves to me and i, being socially inexperienced, am too afraid to approach him so i wave back and WALK BACK THE WAY I CAME. so van watches me pass by the alley, wave at his wave, and then go back. super weird. i regret it but i think its funny. all i know is van smiled at me and he waved at me and i did something clumsy

concert: fuckin grand man i love the balcony, i love the red lights, i loved being second row dead center in front of dreamboat boy i love hourglass i still have my all time fav catb song rango on video fuckin class tops every concert ive been to so far bc i was second row (but am was so good too)

post concert: we were waiting s o l o n g for catb to come out. they didnt come out. I again was sent another mission back to the alley and there i saw a Very Tall Figure and was like fuck. somehow we approached and somehow I got pushed to the front so alas im standing in this narrow fucking alley at like midnight w a very tall man (whos beaming at me, sunglasses OFF) and since im in the front vans like approaching and i was yellin at myself like dont fuckign stand there bihinch so i muster the courage to meet him halfway and he greets me and holds out his hand for me to shake (I shake it) and here things start getting a little blurry in terms of order so here it is, most likely out of order but who will ever know for sure:

Somehow we hug. I forgot if i asked or if it just happendd but we hug. Hes very soft and very warm and he smiled.

i told him how great the concert was and how much i loved his music and how his concert “made my night.” He said something (while smiling) and then he said “youve just made my night” and of course i insist that hes made MY night cos like... no ones ever told me i meant something before so i told him again “you made my night” and HE SAYS “YOUVE MADE MINE” AGAIN LIKE BOY...... TAKE MY COMPLIMENT (he won the argument i left it at “no, you made my night”)

i remember that i got him a gift and a letter so at some point i pull it out and hand it to him. He smiles and says thank you, “i’ll be sure to read it” and tucks the letter into his chest pocket meanwhile i also hand him a little stuffed turtle and i, being a Weakling in social situations, quickly explain that i hope he likes it and that “im not sure if you like turtles, but-” and he cuts me off and reassures me that h eDOES like turtles and he takes the Little Turtle in his hand and bends down next to me (cos im small and van is Tall) and tells me about the time a fan gave him a little turtle bracelet ehich he wore almost all the time and pointed to his wrist of the arm he wore it with (i forget, oh dear. i believe it was his right?) (”but it broke”) and he looked at me and smiled while we were in that position his presence is very warm and then he straightens back up and holds the little turtle in his hand up against the golden streetlight where he “promises to take good care of it” and i swear the pure joy on his face the entire time made me fall in love (though it fell dormant until 2018)

At soe point i take a very bad, very poor quality selfy with van but to this day it remains on the back of my clear phonecase becasue we looked so happy despite the terrible lighting and it reminds me of him. van had to bend down next to me to take the picture, and his arm was around my shoulders. He was hesitant to stand back upright cos he thought i wanted ot take more. i didnt (another regret but boy do i treasure the one selfy)

I hand my phone to catbs old manager for group pics. He (the manager) and van take selfies on my phone, which i dont discover until later

we take group pictures. we r all happy. i havent looked at those.

i know its time to leave because i want the other fans to meet the band. I dont want to leave obviously. I ask van for another hug. I hold on to him very tight, and he does the same. i can only reach his collarbone, despite him bending down to reach me.

Van has an endearing way of hugging, ive noted, where we hug at the side (my right, his left) together while the other sides are kinda separate, not touching, but u have ur arms wrapped around eachother, my right arm underneath his left and onto his back while he can quite literally put his entire arm around me, the opposite arms are kind of around each other. I try to go onto my toes to hold on to him closer because he feels like a safe haven and he makes me feel like i belong somewhere and he makes me feel tranquil and warm and everything positive but not in the jittery excitement kind of way, just peaceful. I hold on to him very tight. its the last time.

We wave goodbye. its very cold without him despite being warm enough to wear a skirt and short sleeve

I go home and remember that i have another little turtle, but this one is blue and a bit worn (thus i gave van the green one). I name it Van and keep it on my bookshelf.

[viridescent-lament]

someone paying an absurd amkunt of attention to my recent rbs may have noticed all the art i rbed is tagged with inspo and favorites. and that is because. i can look at so many things i love in all this art. and look at my art and realize i cant even begin to mimic that. i cant compare. 

im going to back up because theres a bit more i think. just a dump of things that have affected? my mood

a few days ago. i look at my face. i see bumps. i am very concerned (im supposed have a clear face because thats one of the few consistent compliments on my face thats the one measurable thing that i liked about it -)

i do a mask or two (a rare event, and a different maskni havent used before) it doesnt gok away. but while im looking. i realize i dont hate my face (at the time). i recognize several things that arent bad and some that are neutral. from this point on ive cokntinued to do an apricot scrub but those bumps remain (they were there befoe school but i suspect wearing a mask all day has worsened it.)

i work on an art piece for a few days. i am not happy wiuth it but it doesnt look bad.i post it before school.

now that im finihed with that piece i need something to do during school. i crochet. made a coaster in one bus ride to school, another between classwork, and most of one during a mostly free period, which was completed on the bus. (to be fair. its 5 rounds and described as quick to work up)

the first i give to my teacher before school. she is nice about it. notably, i offered it to a teacher i had last year first, who mentions she still has a doily i  gave to her last year, and she thinks of me when she sees it.

i gave the second to my art teacher. he is very nice about it, which is not unusual but always makes me :D

also during art. i work on a pinch pot and recieved positive feedback relating to it beijng a square and alsl me adding orbs to the corners. notably. i placed the pot on my friends desk and said something along the lines of 'i crave [feedback/attention]' (dont remember exact wording)

i try to finish the last coaster in last period to give to my teacher but fail. i do give it to my friend while we're in the bus and she has a very sweet reaction (involving gasping and compoiments and i noticed her staring at it for awhile after)

sometime after that on the bus ride i think about how nice positive feedback is and vaguely wish my friend from last year who always had an extreme good reaction to gifts and kind acts was still here.

the art has not had any feedback beyond the requester/my friend (who is the requester). thats not too bad but i dont rb it to main bcs i want to post the speedpaint first.

i start working on getting the speedpaint up. i need a song. i ask my sisters while we r outside about songs i can use. the twins are alsok planning 'celebration days' for mema. we end up singing and they stol and say my voice is good. a bit more singing and me being embarrassed and sinking to the floor with my hands covering my face at one point. i have been convinced to join them in singing a song for mema.

at this point i was excited. i am critical of my voice and have not sung much since third grade choir (i auditioned the next year but did not make it, which was discouraging for a small child).

next day. another apricot scrub to maybe get those bumps off. excited messing around with twins in morning. printing out pictures of myself at emmas request. and printing song lyrics. mema is mowing outside. i begin to practice. i doknt hate it. i stop and drink water. i try to memoripe lyrics, although i donot get ti the end. considering posting my singing on blog. twins go swimming. i take a small break. post speedpaint. 

twins come inside w kai. they are all in a bad mood. i try to start again, slightly nervous/embarrassed to sing in front of people. 'im a little pitchy' 'yeah you are' - kai. kais always like that but. emma also says its not good. notably emma is never like that. i dont really care cuz its obvious shes in a bad mood even without avas reassurance. 

ava convinces me tok play tea party. kai clinks spoon against ceramic cup and it hurts my ears. i tell her to stop and she does. kai tells me to go off my tablet. i cokntinue with the internal justification 'its overwhelming to focus on them only (not exact words)'. ear still hurts from cup clinking. small snarking between kai and i. twins and kais voice eventually becoming more and more irritating. i leave tea party.

later twins trying to get my attention and i answer aggressively and they say nevermind. internally i amthinkung that this isnt even overstimulation/bad noise (cant remember word for that) just me being annoyed at them for no reason. 

speedpaint has recieved no attention. i shoukdnt care but am slightly disappointed. i try going through open tabs to rrb things. all the art is amazing. i tag everything as inspo and favorites, because its all amazing. i keep noticing littke techniques that each piece does. two handle lineart color differnces better than i did on that request. one has a sketchiness to the lines that adds to it. one has beautiful flowers that i could never get. i think about improving. i dont know how. i cant figure out how to learn. and other self depreciation.

that self depreciation continues with my singing. i cant do it. im not good at singing. i cant memorize the words. etc. mema is out of the house and i try practicing again. i cant get myself to sing. i eventually tell twins i cant do it. 

throughout this. i try to listen to music. watch videos. something to blockbout the noise and get the right noise. nothing works. currently settled on a song that almost does it.

theres alot of internal emotion that i dont know how to describe. 

logically i know myart didnt get nktes bcs it was posted while my friends were offline. and art not getting notes is one thing thatas nkt even a major part of this. but.

i am disgusted by my face right now. i doknt know whats wrong with it. i dont know whats wrong with my body.

ive been thinking about cutting my hair. i like how it looks now. and have recieved a random compliment from somebody i dont know at school. who said i could really pull it off. but. i want to experiment. ill probably come back to this style. but i want to try some stuff.

[stripesquadsideblog]

so what did kagura say to shizuma?

I know pretty much all of us stripe squad fans are annoyed by this  convo that we cant hear between shizuma and kagura. Its kind of a cheap story telling ploy to keep us interested so i kind of see why they did it but im irritated never the less.

I think given the criminally short amount of time these “bad guys” were actually on screen we really could have been doing with more information.  As it stands Buntan (and kinda Hassaku if you squint at that shark jesus scene) are the only ones with any backstory. Not even shizuma, the main antagonist , has much fleshing out other than hes a hoshigaki with a bad attitude and a personal space problem.

Of course this could all come in later arcs but we fans are not patient people.

SO LETS TOTALLY OVER THINK THINGS TOGETHER

this is a MASSIVE post so its under a cut to avoid bloking up peoples feeds

Ok first off : this, THIS RIGHT HERE, is not the face of apology.

Shizuma is smirking and kagura looks scared, nothing fun is happening here. Jesus shizuma is behind what looks like a good 2 inches of solid glass  and poor turtle child is still afraid.  Further more shizuma is not the apologizing type. He does it sarcastically or as a means of gas lighting or emotional manipulation .

This right here is mockery. I can see shizuma saying something with a tone of “oh look the mizukages pet got free who would have seen that coming”

something rude , hurtful or other wise insulting 

I mean

Kagura is literally recoiling in horror and fear. Hes still scared of shizuma and why shouldn’t he be? Shizuma went feral and nearly killed them all not that long ago ( time line is a wee bit dodgy here because everyone was knocked out at night . hassaku and shizuma are up and about , even if shizuma is a little bit scratched, but buntan Ichirota and possibly hebiichigo are still clearly injured so im not sure how much time has actually passed).

Kagura is freaked out and ready to leave. He cant do what he came to do because shizuma still has power of him.

That is until he realizes chojuro has his back

Look at chojuros face. The little hand on his shoulder : thats the kind of reassuring body language you use to tell someone  “youve got this but im right behind you” .Suddenly he’s much more confident. What exactly would be so scary to kagura that he couldn’t do it alone?

He clearly came to say something. Hes not armed so hes not here to kill shizuma. The building theyre in isn’t like any prison weve seen in the naruto world( like the blood castle or karins prison during the war arc) . its very clean and the bright lights give it a medically sterile feel. I think this might be some sort of combination prison/mental hospital.

Which tbh is probably what shizuma needs, coup or no coup.

So what do i think happened?

I think for Kagura to have any kind of closure from this incident chojuro insisted he see shizuma one more time to say what he needs to say. To get some things off his chest so hes not them around with him. Chojuro has an enormous amount of faith in Kagura . hes given him 2 chances at his own expence. Kagura is clearly  unstable in some situations. Mei and chojuro have both spent the better part of 20 years sorting out the mess Yagura left behind. So why stick his neck out?

( side note i love how all the stripe squad are just ignoring shizumas antics. Like kyoho is just stairing into space like “i wonder if i left the stove on....”)

Sorry back on track

There was very little from stopping chojuro from treating kagura like everyone else does but he doesn’t. He goes out of his way to build kagura up. Its pretty much implied that hes actively choosing Kagura as his replacement as 7th mizukage.

But for chojuro to help him achieve that goal, kagura needs to get over some stuff. So he has to confront shizuma. Yeah ok maybe Kagura needs a little help to do it but hes there none the less

 What is kagura doing?

Well i think its 1 of 3 things

The most likely answer

Option 1 ) Hes telling shizuma he forgives him.

As i mentioned shizuma is not an apologetic person. That ladies and gents is the face of shock. Shizuma really only understands violence, like pretty much any blood mist kiri nin. So what would be more shocking to him that forgiveness? To me this shot just screams “ how could you forgive me after all i did to you.”

Furthermore do you have ANY idea how DIFFICULT it is to forgive someone who hasn’t even said they’re sorry? Lets be real here, shizuma was AWFUL to kagura. He literally called him a tool and told him hed use him till the end . he told him he was a murderer and that he was of no use to anyone but him.

I really admire people who can let stuff go like that. I had to learn through a lot of therapy but here kagura is doing it off his own bat. 

 SERIOUSLY i am really struggling to think of something that would shock  shizuma more than heartfelt forgiveness  except maybe option 2

Option 2 ) kagura is the one apologizing.

Now this seems unlikely  to me as i doubt chojuro would let kagura put any blame on himself for shizumas actions. That kind of goes against the established plot of ‘chojuro build up kagura’ by letting kagura accept blame for something that wasn’t his fault. But it could be kagura is apologizing for something else. Maybe “ im sorry it came to this. When im mizukage things will be different, ill make everyone happy” or “ im sorry shizuma but you clearly arent well, this is where you belong “

something along those lines

Yes im looking at the ninja world with rose tinted glasses here but it is a possibility. The stripe squad are disillusioned with the ninja world to the point of thinking they have nothing else to live for if they don’t succeed ( just look at hassaku “the executioners blade is all i have”). Kagura and chojuro aren’t stupid. Maybe Kagura knows this is something Shizuma needs to hear as much as he needs to say.

Option 3 ) kagura is goodbye/goodluck/im done with you.

This is another fairly likely one.Now what kind of put this one down for me was these two clips

Look at how determined kagura is. This isn’t the most forgiving of faces but then again id hardly expect kagura to break out his best cinnamon roll impression for an abusive asshat like shizuma . its possibly hes doing some sort of “ i forgive you now lets never speak again” sort of thing.

When hes done he bows his head: maybe in relief ? maybe he just cant stand to look at shizuma anymore. We don’t know and We don’t find out .

The second bit is this. Chojuro looks like hes ready to kill a bitch. This is his warning face: hes pulled a lot of stringers for kaguras sake and even shizumas. Like do you think if this kind of shit had happened in Yaguras kiri shizuma would still be alive and talking crazy through the glass? No hed be  buried in the flower beds nourishing the tulips before you could say  “whats the blood mist?”

The combination of orochimarus voice over and chojuros face makes things pretty damn clear :you mess with kagura again and i wont be so forgiving.

And then shizuma is just left alone. Kagura is done with him , hes gone, hes finished and by siding with chojuro and accepting his training to become hirameikaris wielder ( and possibly eventually the mizukage) hes essentially telling shizuma “ i don’t need you im stronger without you.”

And ouch thats gotta hurt someone with as many emotional issues as shizuma.

Hence sad shark boi above^^^

 I feel what would have really made this scene for me is if we got to see shizumas reaction to Kagura walking away from him. Like shizuma has demonstrated an unhealthy level of possessiveness over kagura: to see his tool walk away from him, get the better of him and be the better person would fill him with some sort of emotion.

Like did he pound on the glass screaming about how kagura needed him and how kagura was nothing without him? Did he freeze ?defeated by kaguras words, some sort of final revelation that he was in jail/ an asylum  where he belonged ? did he slide to the floor sobbing because all he’d worked for, one of the vital pieces of his plans was walking away from him and his team mates were all ignoring him? jesus did he even throw a little hissy fit???? we just dont know.

We’re missing a big piece of the puzzle here in not knowing what shizuma did after kagura left and the worst part is we’ll probably never find out

[tumblunni]

10 facts about trixie!

Oh wow, totally forgot I got this meme earlier this month??I’m sorry, buddy!

10 Trixie Facts:

* The protagonist adopted her, and they’d only been together for about three or four years before the zombie apocolypse started. But they’re absolutely, utterly a fire-forged bond that can never be broken. Mum spent like a decade trying to adopt a child, every time Trixie doubts that she’s really wanted her mother has a whole cabinet full of paperwork proving otherwise! And Trixie doubts so much because she was a ‘multiple offender’ at the foster home, she was almost adopted several times but all the people before Ms Boyd always returned her before even a year had passed. She was considered a problem case and so she became one, she became a cynical mess who never even tried anymore. But somehow this lady just would not give up on her no matter how much she tried to chase her away, and now she’s finally got the first stable home in her lifetime, and her first experience of a good parent......whiiiiich ended up being a problem, because Mum Boyd’s excessive optimism has led to keeping her daughter’s zombie around and pretending like nothing has happened. Trixie never predicted the full extent of her mother’s dedication on that day she asked “please never give up on me”.* At the start of the game, zombified Trixie’s awareness of this weird tall person who follows her around is pretty much a constant doubt emoji. So probably I’m gonna mix it up with occasional comedic interludes from her perspective, to break up all tha sad. Plus also to make it clear that this zombies do actually have some degree of a soul, and this isn’t just a story there’s no point in reading cos its guaranteed to have a bad ending.ANYWAY WHERE WAS IThe only part of herself she initially retained (aside from adorable grumpyness) was just this weird voice in the back of her head saying “Don’t eat this one.” And she’s pretty frustrated that it doesn’t even have the decency to run away like the others!She doesnt really know that she’s forgotten anything, so she’s been like

“Why is it here. What is happening. Its shaped like a thing but it isn’t. Why won’t it go away.”Just a wild haze of comparing this thing’s behaviours VS every other human, seriously where is the correlation, what is wrong with this “mum” and how do you define a “mum”. Is it like some sort of elite human superweapon??And even the heartfelt moments are totally ruined when you see inside Trixie’s head and she’s just like “WHY IT TOUCH ME”. Just slow zoom in on her terrified face mid-hug and the meme calculations fly across the screen..

* Eventually the conclusion she comes to is “It can’t be a food, it has to be another zombie.”When she first started trusting her mother again, it was from the perspective of a fellow predator, essentially. I mean, we have this nest here and we go hunting and scavenging together, right? We have those great bonding experiences like when we fought all those “bandit”! But this thing never seems to eat anything, and its weirdly obsessed with stuff that doesn’t matter, like these “money” that hurt my teeth.Conclusion: This is just a stupid zombie that needs my help to learn how to zombie.So she’s like a patronizing but affectionate tough love mentor to the Stupid Tall One, and sometimes she humours her and does the weird thing where you grab but do not eat each other. And I mean.. its a pretty sweet deal! It may be stupid but it’s tall! And it has a stick that goes boom! All i have to do in return is wear these weird itchy wool skins on top of my skin and not eat the other tall stupid things. It must be saving those for later.

* Aaaa I kinda have stopped doing Facts and its more like I’m just explaining the character’s story

* What number even is this

* OKAY ACTUALLY A TRIVIA FACT:Trixie has a weird fascination with those shampoo bottles shaped like fishes.Or I might make up a new original equivelant to avoid copyright issues, lol. Some sort of animal-shaped packaging with a collectable aspect! I thought it would be a fun thing you could find in the game. This ruined post-apocolyptic world and you’re trying to assemble the full set just to see your kid smile again, even if only for a moment. Surprisingly sad moments from shampoo fish!Tho cos Trixie is so grumpy and cynical she’s a bit embarassed about this silly hobby and tries to deny it at every turn. Just like *ASBSOLUTE BEAMING KAWAII EYES* “I hate it. I hate it so much it must sit on this shelf so I can hate it forever.”I was thinking maybe even they could kinda fullfill a small purpose as a mini portable garden? You’d modify them into small plantpots and could grow some minor herbs and flowers that you can carry around in your backpack. Just a nice way to make things feel a bit more normal, which is kinda necessary to our protagonist mom’s mental health. optimism meter or somethin?

* She likes her hat a lot. I probably need to figure out how to draw it looking more beaten up and less matching with the rest of her outfit, its meant to be one of the few things she kept when she was just a regular roaming zombie. It was like the first sign her mum had that she did at least remember something of her old life.Oh, and her mum likes collecting different badges to put on it. It started off as kinda similar to putting a bell on a cat so you know when its trying to escape, but now Trixie’s grown to like this strange human invention of the jangly forehead noise. She’s learned to take it off when the two of them are doing stealth operations, and even use it as a distraction to misdirect the enemy. Or to get away from the Tall Stupid One for a moment. Seriously what a dope, this ‘mum’ actually thinks its got me trapped! (Though the mittens are far harder to outsmart, who invented this evil hand covering?)

* Gameplay-wise, i think Trixie would be like a powerful speedster compared to other zombies. Kids surviving the infection isnt very common, and they usually die off quickly. They’re obviously not as strong as normal ones and theyre not exactly gonna get any stronger. But her advantage is that she’s more mobile because there’s kinda less complex machinery to animate, yknow? She’s got more speed and she’s smaller than pretty much every other enemy on both sides of this conflict, she can rush in with a kind of stealth and dexterity nobody expected zombies to possess.And the condition progresses faster in younger hosts, so the more supernatural side of her abilities is already manifesting early on. Her conciousness isnt really coherant enough to learn how to use it though, at the start its just like randomized limit break type bursts of shadow energy.Though, I mean, this doesn’t mean that she isn’t a physical attacker. She’s just more like long strings of multiple-hit combos, getting the same result even with her much lower attack stats. And still, even a weak zombie is stronger than the strongest human, aka the mum. mum is like a super survival hulk who can lift a damn sofa over her head, but that doesnt really help when fighting zombs so she’s usually a ranged gunner instead. I feel like its gonna work in a kind of elemental triangle with like.. human ranged/’tech attacks’ are effective against zombies, and melee isnt, but then zombie melee is super powerful and they arent able to compete with humans when it comes to ranged strategy. And then when the enemy is human vs human, you have a lot more trouble doing complex gunfighting, and your melee can actually compete against each other. or something. i’ll figure out whatever works best!

* Oh, but I think trixie also has more tech attacks than other zombies, because her personality as a human was very cynical and always prepared for anything. But she’d start off with no techs and only develop them as she regains her memories.One cute idea I had was her being able to turn soda cans and mentos into distraction grenades, and then like one out of ten attacks actually deals damage instead. Cos when you’ve got everyone frustrated dodging your exploding cans, they dont expect just a full can of tuna to bean them in the forehead XD

* I haven’t fully developed the circumstances of how she got infected, but I think it’s something where both her and her mom blame themselves for it. Like, maybe it was a confrontation with bandits or something, and Trixie did something reckless that led to them getting caught? But then Mum is like ‘oh god I failed to proect you’ and blames herself for her naive shonen protagonist optimism causing her to fall for some sort of trick, and then Trixie got bitten while saving her from it. So really they both messed up, its just tragic that only one of them lived to learn from it...

* Oh and for Maximum Tragedy, I don’t think it was even a fatal wound. It was probably like just a really small scratch and Mum kept trying to reassure Trixie that it would be fine, sinking into delusion while her poor 11 year old kid is the one who realized she was gonna die and was the only one willing to do something about it. So she had to suffer slowly fading away from illness over the next week, being TERRIFIED that her mum was refusing to let her go, and any second now she could become a zombie and kill her while she wouldnt even try to defend herself. So in the end, while Mum was all sitting in the corner all “ha.. ha... its just an ordinary cold... gotta stay positive”, Trixie packed a small bag of personal effects and ran away into the night, to find a place to die alone.in the end though, she left it too late and couldnt make it very far. Her last memory as she lay there dying was seeing the silhouette of her mother appearing on the horizon and knowing she’d failed to protect her :(

* Fun fact: no failure of protection actually happened, the two of them are both still around one year later, and if this writer has any say in it then I’m gonna find some damn way to write a happy ending.>:(