#i keep rewatching it and giggling its too late at night for this

[skitskatdacat63]

I wanted to clip this just to point out Fernando's amazing save, but their commentary shamefully made me laugh so hard 😭

[denwritesandcries]

Fall(ing for You) – S.C

Pairing: sam carpenter x soft goth!reader

Summary: Sam is certain that Tara's new quiet friend may turn out to be Ghostface, unfortunately – or not –, that friend is you.

or, it takes the help of tara and a dog for sam to finally come to her senses.

Word count: 6,0k.

Content: scream 6 but without the killing, r's 23, cursing, wingman tara ft. yr dog, jokes abt r being ghostface, fluff, pining, sam falling first AND harder, silly movie references.

Note: hey guys, It's been a while since I've written for scream but I rewatched it recently and finally got some inspiration again! I describe the reader a little more in this but it won't really affect anything if you choose to ignore it.

English is not my first language.

Tara made a new friend.

Sam still isn't sure exactly, but the only plausible explanation for the way Tara has been acting lately is that her sister met someone interesting enough to keep her attention so that she gave everyone a break from her tantrums and reckless behavior since their new start outside of Woodsboro.

Now, that could be a good thing, it had been months since the kids started college and they were all doing relatively well. Mindy had Anika, Chad had Ethan and also there was Quinn, even though she wasn't very close to anyone. Tara should have someone too.

The problem is that Sam has no idea who this person is. Tara just won't tell her.

You see, Sam understands that she might have been a little too protective of her sister and that this made Tara's behavior become defensive towards her. Her new therapist – after she got rid of that quack – is helping her work through that, okay? But curiosity and worry were eating away at her insides. The curfews, the tasers and pepper sprays, and especially the ID checks were all important to keep them safe, dammit! Mindy and Chad had no problem with it, and it was only after all the appropriate measures were in place that Sam could breathe and let these new people be a part of their lives. Not knowing this so-called friend, let alone who they were, was driving her to the brink of a breakdown.

She was trying to give her some space, probing with subtle questions here and there and the most she got was an eye roll and ‘It’s just a sophomore I met at the film club, haven't you said I should try to be part of something that didn’t involve frat parties?’

Well, at least it wasn’t a boyfriend, given the lack of dreamy sighs, giggles into the phone and late-night escapades. That was good. They already had enough problems to deal with and a new relationship so quickly was the same as asking for a ghostface to go for them again and Sam hadn’t been back in Tara’s life long enough to know how to deal with this part of being a big sister yet.

Sam had understood that she wouldn’t meet this mysterious person for a while, at least until her sister’s tantrum had passed, and between two shitty jobs and trying to keep a structured life being responsible for a bunch of teenagers in the big city, she couldn’t find it in herself to insist on the subject any further and get the risk of causing a fight. She thought it would be forgotten.

Now just imagine Sam's surprise when she came home one night after a long, exhausting shift, expecting to eat the leftover pizza she had hidden in the fridge and fall into a deep sleep, only to be knocked over by an noisy and strange dog with a piece of pizza in its mouth as soon as she opened the apartment door. Her pizza.

“Koda!” Someone called. Someone unfamiliar. It wasn’t just the dog, there was a stranger in her house.

Sam’s hand instinctively moves to reach for the taser hidden in her jacket when a pair of black-clad legs show up in her vision. Does Ghostface work with dogs now? She wonders in confusion for a moment, and has given up on the voice changer?

The only thing stopping her from tasing this potential killer in front of her is the pure bewilderment and Tara’s laughter filling the room.

“Oh my god,” the figure bends down, picking up the dog who turns out to be a very excited puppy, the pizza falling from its mouth and onto her shirt, getting it all over her, “I’m so sorry.”

It’s a girl, a face she’s never seen before, looking completely mortified.

“Hey, Sam,” Tara stops beside her, a barely hidden tone of satisfaction in her voice, “This is my friend. I thought you’d like to meet her.”

It's safe to say that Sam didn't like Tara's new friend at all.

“You didn’t think about telling me you were bringing someone?” Sam exclaimed, rubbing her temples wearily, “Especially that Lydia Deetz project right there? I almost shocked her in the middle of the hallway!”

Quinn shifted from where she was leaning against the counter in the small impromptu meeting and didn’t bother to hold back her laugh, “Nah, I think Tara would fit that role better.”

“Quinn,” Sam groaned exasperatedly.

“If I had told you you would have said no,” Tara shrugged.

“Yes! Because we don’t know her!”

It was quite awkward sitting on the couch in their living room less than five feet away from the kitchen and being able to hear every word spoken as if you weren't right there, with your messy dog ​​happily chewing on the sock on your ankle.

This wasn't the turn you expected your night to take when you decided to accept Tara's sudden invitation for a movie night, visiting her off-campus for the first time since you became friends.

You met her at the start of the school year, the day she showed up for a film club meeting before anyone else arrived, well, anyone except you. She seemed completely lost and suspicious, even though she was clearly struggling not to show it, which made you like her right away.

Getting attention and starting conversations was never really your thing, this whole club thing wasn't either, honestly, but you ended up being one of the last older members to join with most of the others having recently graduated and the responsibility of looking after the new freshmans gradually fell on you. Most of the time you kept to yourself, preferring the behind-the-scenes side of things to participating in the long-winded debates of high school teens obsessed with slashers and making Stab parodies, but you noticed the way Tara seemed desperate for any sense of normalcy beneath her laid-back facade and the whispers of murder that haunted her.

You took what seemed like a rabid kitten under your wing and ended up cornered by the personification of a Doberman because of it. Talk about doing good deeds and stepping out of your comfort zone. What a joke.

Tara’s older sister, Sam, if you got it right, stared at you with narrowed, suspicious eyes – just like Tara when you first approached her – towering over your figure that tried to look smaller than it actually was on the couch, as if she was trying to learn every little hidden detail about you.

“So…” you began hesitantly, wanting to break the awkward silence that had ensued, “you have such a beautiful house.”

“Aren’t you too old to hangout with a freshmen?" Sam cut in coldly, one eyebrow perfectly arched in distrust.

You sighed, this conversation sure started off very well, “I’m 23,” you cleared your throat, “Tara’s in the same club as me, and I’ve just been helping her with some classes I used to take when I first started here.”

You hear Tara’s distinct chuckle, clearly amused by your frustration, which doesn’t help your situation much. What a wonderful friend, indeed.

Sam hummed with fake indifference and the other two housemates watched the exchange intently, eyes darting between you like they were at a tennis match, amused by the sight of Sam trying to intimidate the poor unsuspecting twit that you were.

A great friend, for sure. Ugh, this is why you don’t sponsor obviously troubled kids.

It’s not like Sam Carpenter is really intimidating or scaring you out the way she seems to want to, she has bags under her eyes and a greasy pizza stain on her shirt and you’re a grown woman, for God’s sake! It’s just that it was extremely embarrassing to cause a scene like that, especially with someone who you really wanted to make a good first impression.

Interacting so much socially lately was becoming relatively exhausting and you expected it wouldn't become a thing, as you were feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything. You hoped this would be the last big meeting you had for a while. Tara had told you a lot about her sister, mainly about how it was a pain in the ass to always have someone hovering over her, but it was something you never took seriously because of the way she sounded when she talked about it, too loving for someone who hated the situation so much. No, Sam was important and Tara had insisted that you meet her after doing the same with the twins just a few days ago. You had carefully planned how it would happen, what clothes you would wear and what you would say and now your chance to make things right was ruined, the words seeming to have escaped you in a flash. You were reserved, quiet, small in the midst of so much hustle and bustle, used to watching everything go by from the safety of the shadows. Being a mouse was easy.

“Is that all you have to say?”

Less easy when caged with a lion.

“Look,” you tried again, silently squirming as your pup start sniffing Sam’s combat boots furiously as you stood to pick him up, “I really didn’t want to cause any trouble or misunderstanding, Tara called me earlier while I was walking this little guy and insisted it would be okay if I came over for a movie. I can leave now if you want to, I’m really sorry for… well, all of this.”

You noticed Sam's expression became conflicted, as if she didn't know exactly what to make of you standing in the middle of her living room without showing any threat and wasn't used to people actually listening to her on sight. Still, she wasn't going to give up that easily.

“Great,” Sam nodded, her voice sounding less firm, “go then.” She pointed directly at your dog, now sitting at her feet with its fluffy head tilted to the side in a guiltily innocent manner, “And make sure to take that pizza thief with you.”

(You swear he looked personally offended.)

“What? No!” Tara seemed to realize that her little game could backfire and came out from behind the counter in your defense.

“Tara—”

“Come on, Sam, it's movie night!” She stomped her foot loudly, “I refused the invite to Jason's party for that, we were marathoning all the Texas Chainsaw Massacres!”

You don’t even have to be good at reading people to know that Sam had lost that fight the moment Tara looked at her with pleading eyes, knowing that there was no way to blame her for simply doing what she asked.

That didn’t stop Sam from rolling her eyes and huffing in irritation.

“Fine,” she practically growled, shifting her attention back to you, “But I’m gonna keep an eye on you, so you better not act all smart and keep that fleabag away from me.”

“His name’s Koda.” You pointed out, before softening, “And thank you, I promise I’m not gonna—”

“Shush.”

Sam was sure this was all part of an act of yours, just the first step to infiltrate their lives and pull the rug out like others have done before, because no one in their right mind would sit quietly next to someone who nearly shocked and threatened them in many ways just a few minutes ago.

Especially if that someone is burning holes in your head with their eyes, like she's doing now.

Sam watches shamelessly and intrigued, shooting daggers at your figure as you lean back with Tara babbling enthusiastically between you, your puppy completely knocked out on her lap, oblivious to the sounds of death and fake blood spurting from the TV. She notices the way you effectively ignore her, responding to Tara’s remarks with genuine interest, even if your voice doesn’t match her enthusiasm.

You remained quiet beyond those moments and the tiredness along with your lack of sudden movements made Sam feel secure enough to leave the room and finally take a shower – because along with everything she never saw much fun in these movies like Tara –, warning you that it was better for everyone to finish the night when the movie ended.

(She also forced Quinn to take her place on the couch and promise to scream if anything happened. You didn't comment on that either.)

Sam only falls asleep when she hears the sounds of goodbyes coming from the living room and the door house being closed, finally relaxing after all the interaction, deciding that it was enough. You could have been at her house, but that doesn't mean she would let you come over again.

You come back, because of course Tara doesn’t give a damn about Sam’s warnings about being careful around strangers – incessantly claiming that you’re not a stranger – and there you are at the next game night that Chad insisted on making a tradition.

At least there’s no sign of the shirt-destroying furball this time and there are pizzas smelling good on the kitchen counter.

“‘Sup, Sam!” Chad greeted loudly as she walked through the door, waving excitedly from the couch, “We’re playin’ uno!”

Her eyes landed on you, who waved at her with a small, tight smile, awkwardly sandwiched between Anika and Ethan, the way you stood out among them so comical that Sam suppressed a snort. She decided to join in without much protest, someone responsible still had to watch you, after all.

Sam wouldn’t admit to anyone, absolutely anyone, that she was enjoying the evening, listening to the heated exchanges as everyone got competitive. Strangely, she noticed that you didn’t try to engage much in the conversation, just like the other night, seeming happy to just be there. She thought you had been withdrawn then because of her behavior towards you, but maybe you were just shy.

That made her raise an eyebrow, Tara didn’t usually embrace introverts. Actually, she had always been pretty popular even before Sam left, if she remembered correctly, so this was new. She felt a small piece of curiosity spark inside her instead of more mistrust as she expected and it disconcerted her.

“The whole point of the 7 card is that you're not supposed to talk, man!” Mindy throwing chips at Ethan interrupted Sam's flow of thoughts.

“This rule is stupid! The manual doesn't even mention it, read it for yourself!” Ethan shuffled the cards wildly – ​​everyone at the table had seen his hand – pointing, “And you’re talking too!”

“Whatever! Nobody reads the fuckin manual to play uno, Ethan!”

Tara groaned, “Guys, just shut up and everybody buys a card.”

“But that’s not how you play!”

She decided to abandon the game and all the fuss in favor of getting some air and a slice of pizza and was surprised to find that her favorite was still untouched, which was a miracle in such a crowded house.

“Tara said that you liked this flavor,” your voice coming from nearby startled her and Sam saw you gesture to the box in front of her, “My treat, for the other day.”

She cleared her throat hesitantly, “You didn’t have to.”

“I did,” you dismissed with a wider smile, “My dog ​​left you without dinner.”

Sam didn’t respond, but you leaned against the counter next to her anyway, picking at the dark polish on your nails casually, listening to your friends arguing in the background.

“Get tired of the crowd?” Sam asked, deciding that ignoring you wasn’t an option since you clearly weren’t leaving.

“Yeah,” you agreed, shrugging with an odd laugh, “I guess I’ve had enough socializing for one day.”

Sam wasn’t sure why she didn’t just send you away then, seizing the perfect chance to dismiss you like she’d wanted all along and avail everyone's presence to remind that you weren’t welcome, but that strange spark flared in her and made her smile unconsciously, more sincere than the previous tense ones.

“Oh, I know what you mean,” she agreed slowly.

Your expression brightens in surprise, as if you expected a cold, blunt rejection or maybe a slap (probably both) and Sam feels a bit guilty by it. Sighing, she waves you towards the apartment’s tiny balcony, silently inviting you to join her, to which you respond with a firm nod as you watch her unwind the chain on the sliding door – they keep everything locked up tight now – and follow her.

Sam swears she’s not doing this to be nice or anything, all she wants is to repay you for your politeness, that’s all.

The night breeze is refreshing and sends pleasant shivers down your arms and shoulders as Sam leans against the railing and the two of you fall silent. It’s pleasant, actually.

Sam takes a moment to look at you, like, really look at you for the first time since you met and her breath hitches.

Your relaxed features look cheerful and are well-emphasized by the makeup you’re wearing – she tries to search her memory and gets frustrated when she can’t remember if it’s the same style as the night you met – your hair blows a little in the wind and your clothes just fit. Every single thing about you seems to have been specially made to be this way, charming, beautiful.

Your elbow brushes hers in the small space as you lean in to better contemplate the dreary, empty New York sky and Sam’s skin is burning and she doesn’t understand why.

Sam didn’t realize, through all the haze of anger and suspicion and tantrum, until she was touching a pretty girl, that you were, in fact, a pretty girl.

Shit.

“You’re trying so hard not to like her that I’m getting embarrassed for you.”

It’s late. Everyone has already left, including you, who went early claiming you had to work the next morning. Tara should be in bed by now, but she’d be upset if Sam told her to do that, so she doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam dismisses, packing up the last of the leftover pizza to put in the fridge.

“But you do,” Tara hums smugly, stifling a yawn, “Just admit that you were wrong and that I’ve made a friend who’s not a potential serial killer. And that you might have a crush on her. I saw you two on the balcony.”

“It wasn’t like that,” she grumbles, “And I wasn’t wrong for being worried that you brought home a stranger without telling me, even if she’s not dangerous.”

“Ha!” Tara points out, “So you admit she’s no danger.”

Sam sighs tiredly, bringing a hand up to massage her temple, “She can keep coming over for movie nights or whatever if that’s what you're asking me.”

Tara cheered, jumping up from where she was sitting on the counter to finally go to sleep. She stopped just before turning the corner to her room.

“Seriously though,” she caught Sam’s attention, “You guys have more in common then you might think, that’s why I like her. I think you could too, if you get to know her better.”

“That’s impossible, Tar,” Sam says weary, looking at her sister with the most done expression, “I don’t ‘get to know’ anyone, I already have all the people I need in my life.”

“Maybe you’ll be surprised,” she shrugged, “It would be good for you anyway.”

Sam's approval was all Tara needed to make you a regular fixture in their lives and make movie nights an official thing. Sam usually walks in when they're in full swing, with the two of you deep in conversation about the completely random movie you decided to watch that day, and now she greets you back instead of ignoring like she did before and you look happier every time she does it openly.

She finds excuses to wander around the living room and kitchen when she hears Tara pause the tv for whatever reason, just so she doesn't leave you unsupervised in their house – it was still too early to rule out all the care, after all. It ends up making her feel kind of ridiculous, because, hell, she shouldn't have to make excuses to wander around her own house! But you guys talk during these moments, sometimes.

Sam learns more about you as time goes on, and she tells herself that it's just gathering information, that you're not friends at all, but she finds herself soaking up every bit of detail. What are you majoring in, how long have you been in town, if you live close to campus like most students or if you have roommates like them.

(Actually, when she thinks about it now, Sam probably sounded more like a maniac trying to find out where you live, but at least you didn’t call her out on it.)

Then movie nights are joined by study sessions that Tara insists on having as her first week of finals approaches, and you manage to convince Sam to let you bring your puppy too so he won’t be alone for so many hours and she can act a little more normal around you and have a conversation that doesn’t sound like a job interview. You tell her about the movies you like – which consist of more than just an extensive list of slashers like she initially assumed – in a loud and excited tone instead of your usual repressed one, and it stirs something inside her, which leads to several other facts. Your favorite color, what kind of music you like, what you do when her sister isn't dragging you somewhere, and why you decided to adopt a dog so young when you already had so many other responsibilities.

“He helps me not feel alone,” you replied, looking deep into her eyes, “my roommate graduated last year and moved out. I guess I couldn’t stand coming home to empty houses, you know? And he’s my guard dog, he takes care of me and I take care of him. The little guy might be small but knows how to do damage.”

She could relate to that, in part.

And then you start asking too, suddenly and Sam finds herself with a dilemma after so long avoiding your attempts to get to know her. She’d rather remain closed off.

But a trade isn’t a fair trade unless she gives you something back, is it? And you’ve been quenching her thirst for knowledge for a long time now, you gave her a lot.

So, during one night when you insist on helping her make dinner, she confides in you – somewhat reluctantly – that she really enjoys cooking, especially healthier meals. She doesn't look at you, nor does she say it clearly but still, you listen and Sam is surprised when she finds herself speaking.

“You really should ask her out.”

And of course, Tara is always close enough to raise an eyebrow with a knowing look at her on practically every occasion.

“I've told you already, it's not like that.”

“You're cuddling her dog right now.”

“Just so he stays quiet and doesn't disturb you two! Shouldn't you be studying, by the way?”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.”

Sam can almost, almost admit that you're her friend too.

(Though she kinda wished it were a little more than that.)

Movie nights evolve into sleepovers, because Sam argues that it’s simply too late and dangerous for you to come back alone and she feels embarrassed – and guilty as much – when Quinn brings up that it has always been dangerous and she didn’t mind letting you go before, when she didn’t care about you.

Now there are some of your clothes in a drawer Tara set aside for you just like a colorful food bowl in the living room for your dog – Mindy jokes that it's theirs now – and there’s rarely a day that goes by where she doesn’t see you.

And when you don’t come over, Tara makes sure to remind her of how anxious she looks waiting for a knock on the door and how she lights up when you greet her first when you finally arrive.

“I swear that now she comes here more to see you than me.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“Yeah, sure,” she huffs, “And when are you gonna make a move again?”

“Never, Tara.”

Sam hasn't heard a thing about you in days. Tara said yesterday that you ended up getting really busy with a college project, preparing a presentation that, her sister quotes, 'needs to be perfect because public speaking is horrible and there's a big chance I'll embarrass myself.'

It's not that Sam asked, it's just that she doesn't text you often and Tara thought it would be convenient to talk about it out loud when she was on the phone with Mindy.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter, it's not like you two are close. You are Tara's friend. If it weren't for her, you two wouldn't even have a reason to see each other. There's no reason to be so stressed.

But she misses you anyway. She's having a shitty day at her shitty job and everything seems to go by even slower because Sam knows that when she gets home at night you probably won't be on the couch waiting with the soft smile she's grown accustomed to looking forward and if she has to deal with another group of rude teenagers she'll freak out.

The sound of the bell ringing at the entrance draws Sam’s attention back to the counter and she ends up face to face with the person who has been on her mind all day.

“Sam!” you approached with a tired smile, your dog wagging his tail happily on a leash in one hand and a paper bag in the other, “I was looking for you.”

You'd never visited her at work before, she didn't even know you knew where it was, having only mentioned it in passing, but there you were, with the smile she wanted to see and bags under your eyes.

“Hi,” she cleared her throat, feeling her face heat up. Damn, she looked like a teen girl with a crush, “I didn't expect to see you here, what, uhm, what do you need?”

You snorted at her flustered attending voice. Seeing her show any kind of nervousness was very unusual.

“Tara called me today demanding I get out of the house for a bit and ‘touch some grass’, so I decided to bring this buddy along, he was begging me for a proper walk,” you shrugged, “And she asked me to bring your lunch.”

Sam paused at that, Tara definitely didn't make lunches for her, much less go to the trouble of delivering them like that.

“...Thank you,” she accepted the paper bag you held out delicately, eyeing the package suspiciously. You held back a giggle when she looked at you again, “Anything else?”

“Oh, um,” you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, obviously nervous, “I’m taking Koda to the park nearby and I thought maybe you’d like to come with us. If you can, of course.”

Sam couldn’t really, it was still a few hours before her shift ended at the coffee shop, but she didn’t want you to leave without the promise of seeing you again.

“Of course,” she found herself replying instead, “I can meet you there in a few minutes.”

She knew she’d made the right decision when you gifted her with one of your warm smiles.

“Okay! Nice,” you nod, absently twirling your dog’s leash around your fingers, startled by the sudden, loud bark he lets out at the delay, breaking the oblivious bubble you were in, “Alright, I should go before he starts trying to jump over the counter.”

Sam barely hears the sound of the bell announcing your departure over how loudly her heart pounds in her ears.

It takes a lot of willpower and her last pack of good cigarettes to convince her insufferable coworker — who’d watched the whole thing with a bored expression and loudly chewing gum while cleaning the coffee machine — to cover the rest of her shift. He ended up ordering her lunch too, thinking it might be something special, only to complain when he was met with a sad peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a carton of warm apple juice. Tara really didn’t cook… but then why had she done that?

(She laughed at him anyway.)

“You owe me, Carpenter,” he grumbled, taping a note to her arm that had fallen out of the package.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Sam was out the door before he could change his mind.

Taking a deep breath of the damp autumn air, she picked up the yellow post-it note curiously, recognizing her sister’s handwriting immediately.

‘u looked so depressed lately that I

decided to send u a gift

DO something this time

good luck!!’

She knew. She fucking knew that smartass had set her up. Sam should have guessed it before. Tara would never let her get away with this without doing something with her own hands. At least she hadn’t brought Mindy into the scheme this time.

The park you had mentioned was more like a small square and with the rainy cold weather of the last few days, it was pretty empty. Sam could spot you without difficulty, sitting on one of the few benches watching the scenery and she made her presence known when she got close enough.

“Can he even sit still sometimes?” Sam asked, hands in her bomber jacket pockets, pointing with her chin at the dog playing alone on the grass. You moved a little so she could sit next to you and subtly moved closer when she did.

“It rained last night and he's a big fan of puddles,” you chuckled, “I guess he's just excited, we haven't been out much lately.”

He wasn't the puppy he'd been when Sam had first seen him a few months ago and the sight of him running around the trees chasing flowers and stray twigs was actually quite funny.

“He's so covered in mud that it looks like a bear.”

“Well, his name's Koda,” you pointed out amusedly, “I would have called him Pongo but he always looked more like a small bear than a dalmatian anyway.”

She snorted, “If you say so.”

Sam couldn't remember a time when she felt so relaxed, with the weight of your shoulder resting against hers, enjoying the weather of the early season, the ground covered in orange and yellow leaves framing your surroundings.

She couldn't stop the restlessness she felt inside her chest, watching your profile. Feeling warm inside, but also shivering with a terrible fear of ruining everything. Do something, do something, do something echoing like a mantra in her head.

Sam took a deep breath. She'd faced murderers before, for God's sake! She could be braver than that.

"So..." She coughed, "Tara set this up, you know? The lunch stuff and everything."

You turned your attention to Sam, raising an eyebrow with a confused look.

"She did?" You asked, "Why would she do that?"

It's now or never, Carpenter. Focus.

“She did it so I could see you,” she looked away, “Because I missed you. Because I…” She felt your hand reach for hers and noticed a fallen leaf on your shoulder.

“Because you…?” your voice echoed anxious. She could do this. She's going to do this.

“I—”

A loud howl scared the two of you and you turned to see Koda behind a pile of leaves, pupils dilated and jumping up and down.

“Oh no.”

“What?” She stammered.

“He saw a pigeon.”

You see, Sam is not a pet person. She has only had one guinea pig her entire life and only before her father left and a 6-year-old Tara let it escape from its cage never to be seen again – poor Darwin would always be remembered – she does not know how to handle dogs, much less big, excitable ones like yours.

Yet she grabs the leash from your hands when you finally reach your dog who won't stop barking at a tree and ignores your warnings that he is heavy and strong, Sam, it will end up dragging you away and tries to gently pull him to convince him to let go so you can get out of there. Because she is big and strong and she wants to show you that she can handle a mere happy dog.

He acknowledges her like she wanted and also drags her like you said he would.

This manages to surprise her more than the first stab wound she took, how one minute she’s standing still, telling your silly dog ​​to walk in a confident condescending tone, and the next she’s running at full speed through the trees and puddles of the park, your worried voice ringing behind her, as does your laughter.

“Sam!” you exclaimed from a distance, hands cupped around your mouth and dark red scarf falling from your neck, “You need to stop!”

She does stop, yes, but only after your dog has already circled her and Sam must be a ridiculous sight with a colorful leash wrapped around her legs and a dog panting with its tongue out next to her.

“Oh my god,” you lean in closer, unable to hide the amusement in your voice, “Are you okay?”

Sam huffed, feeling a strand of hair fall across her face: “A little help would be appreciated.”

“Sure,” you laughed, reaching out to carefully untangle it, “Maybe I should call him Pongo after all.”

She rolled her eyes: “Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not mocking you, it’s just cute.”

Sam opened her mouth to retort, only to realize how close you two were, with your hands resting on her shoulders to steady her and your faces just inches apart, your breath tickling her skin. You seemed to realize the same thing, tongue coming out to wet your lips, your gaze fixed on her mouth.

Do something. Do something. Do something.

She finally does something. She kisses you.

It's all a mix of sensations, she feels when you sigh, breathing through your nose in surprise and satisfaction, she feels where your hands tighten on the fabric of her jacket and tastes you, warm lips contrasting with the cold skin of your cheeks, with traces of coffee, lipstick and something else so undeniably you that Sam swears her heart might stop.

You pull apart hesitantly, breathing fast, noses touching, eyes shining, and she feels herself falling, literally. Your dog jumps on your waist, demanding to be petted, and you fall, taking Sam with you.

Landing in a pile of leaves is more uncomfortable than the movies make it out to be, but Sam can’t find it in herself to protest when you’re the one on top of her. She smiles and you laugh out loud. She didn’t mess up.

“You’re covered in leaves,” you say, running your fingers through her hair, “And your face is smeared with black lipstick.”

She scoffs, “I wonder who’s responsible for that.”

“He is,” you point innocently at the dog standing next to you.

Sam rolls her eyes, but cups your face with her cold hands to pull you close again, and the second kiss she gives you is just as magical as the first.

Tara doesn’t expect to find a dog taking up the entire couch for the first time in days when she comes back from Chad’s dorm after sending you off on a fake mission to find her sister. Yet, hours later, there it is, with one of the sneakers she forgot to put away when she got home from class stuck in his mouth and trails of mud and leaves across the room.

“C’mon, man, that’s not a toy!”

She hears a laugh and finds herself face to face with Sam, looking completely filthy despite the sound of the shower running in the hallway and Tara knows Quinn isn’t home yet. Oh.

“So, you finally did something?”

Sam nods solemnly, pointing to the dark kiss etched into her jaw.

“I did.”

[cl3fairyyy]

routine : part 2 || edward nashton x GN!reader ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

summary || you and edward finally go on a date

warnings || eddie is a liiiittle more stalker-y in this one, smoking, mentions of drinking, mentions of edward following reader home and just overall being his strange little self, this fic does get a little suggestive (no actual smut) so please MDNI!!!! i think that's everything, if i forgot anything i am so sorry </3 this fic is mostly just fluff with a side of awkward first date small talk

word count || 4.5k

notes || i am so sorry for the long wait on part 2!! been having the worst writers block of my life and my job has been taking over my life atm </3 but it is finally here!! i had so much fun writing this one, definitely thinking of doing a part 3 if u guys want it :)) apologies if at any point eddie is too OOC, he's definitely a little more confident in this one hehe. also this pic of paul is EXACTLY how I imagined him looking while writing this

You arrive back at your dingy apartment later than you had planned and, admittedly, a lot tipsier than you had wanted to be.  

You shove your key into the crappy broken lock that your landlord refuses to fix and jiggle it around for several moments until you finally hear a click. Opening the door, you sway on your feet a little before stumbling over to the couch, kicking the door shut behind you; when you plop down on the velvety throw you use to cover up the horrible cracking leather of your equally horrible sofa, you sigh and throw your head back, allowing a smile to play onto your face.  

He had asked you on a date.  

You keep replaying the interaction in your head, mentally swooning at how Edward had lit your cigarette for you, how he had been so close that you could smell the laundry detergent on his clothes. You giggle like a schoolgirl, hugging one of your cushions as you fish around in your bag for your phone. You have to suppress a giddy squeal when you are greeted with not one, but three messages from a random number, one you can only guess belongs to Edward. You feel dizzy unlocking your phone, and you don’t know if it’s the alcohol or your nerves.  

Hi, it’s Edward. I hope you have a lovely rest of your night.  

I really liked talking to you today. You’re a very interesting person.  

Are you okay? It's late, did you get home safe?  

It takes everything in you to not dreamily sigh like you’re in a fucking rom-com. He's concerned about me, you think, typing a reply with a lopsided smile on your face.  

hiii yes im fine!! just made it home : )  

im vry drunk lol  

Immediately the grey typing bubble pops up and you launch your phone across the room, scrambling to the fridge to open the half-empty bottle of slightly too expensive rosé that you have been saving for the next time you rewatch Fleabag.   

You hear your phone ding twice and gingerly pick it up from underneath the coffee table, your hands shaking.  

Oh, good to hear that you’re safe haha. I was about to head back to the bar to see if you were okay.  

That was a joke by the way.  

You can’t stop a smile from spreading across your face. You take a swig from the bottle and begin typing.  

yea im sure it was lol  

it was nowhere near as interesting after u left. u were in such a hurry too are u ok??  

Edward’s cheeks grow red when he reads your second message. You think he’s interesting? Are you hinting that you would’ve preferred if he stayed?  

Wish I could have stayed for a bit longer haha, just had some work at home that I couldn’t get my mind off, so wanted to take another crack at it.  

Obviously, he can’t tell you that his work isn’t just some simple tax fraud, but a potential money laundering scandal that ties all the way back to Maroni and your own boss. He knows at this point, though, that you’re too polite to question him.  

u sure do work a lot!!!! idk how u havent burnt out yet.   

try to get some rest if u can : ) its not like the work wont be there tmrw!!!!  

Edward smiles. You are so lovely to him; the idea that someone like you could show so much kindness to him makes his heart swell and his eyes fill with tears. A few run down the tip of his nose and plop onto his phone screen.  

I know, I know. Sometimes it feels like I can’t switch my brain off haha. It’s been in overdrive since I got home.  

He cringes at himself. Is he meant to text so formally? You're pretty much the only contact in his phone besides his landlord and the office. He glances down at his screen, noticing that you’ve read his message but haven’t started typing an answer, and immediately begins to panic.  

Of course someone like you couldn’t like him. He was a fool to think you were any different than anyone else in this shithole of a city. You’re probably still sat with your colleagues at that shitty bar, reading out his messages and all having a good old laugh at him. Everyone get a load of Nashton! you're probably saying, and he feels sick to his stomach.   

soso sorry my phone just died out of nowhere!!! i srsly did not mean to leave u on opened  

honestly i get u i can be like that. its probably worse for u tho bc ur so smart lol  

whats been sending the brain of eddie into overdrive tonight??  

Edward shakes his head at how silly he’s being. It would be funny if he didn’t feel so pathetic. He reads your messages over and over until his eyes burn; no one has ever given him a nickname before. Eddie. He rereads the nickname, trying to imagine how it would sound coming out of your mouth. His mind begins to wander, picturing you lying beneath him, bare chest heaving as you moan that name to him. Eddie.  

He's snapped out of his thoughts when his phone lights up again with a notification from his news app. He attempts to push down his building arousal before it completely clouds his mind, and scrambles for his phone to send you a reply.   

It’s a little embarrassing, but... I have been thinking non-stop about the conversation we had outside.  

I really would like to take you out, if you’ll let me. If you’d like to pick where we go so you feel more comfortable, I’m happy with that. I’m sure you know much nicer places to go than I do anyway haha.  

You squeal at your phone, kicking your feet in the air like a goddamn teenager. You hastily type a reply, and soon enough you’ve made plans for Sunday to go to a lovely downtown jazz club that plays live music. It's one of your favourite spots in the whole city.  

You fall asleep fairly quickly after throwing yourself on your bed still fully clothed. You don’t think twice about how bad your hangover will be when you wake up, instead picturing your date with Edward and just how lovely he is.  

Edward, on the other hand, stays up all night, his thoughts rife with anxiety. You'd had one conversation in a loud bar, and now he’s expected to keep you entertained for an entire evening? What if you didn’t find him interesting? What if he ran out of things to talk about? What if you stood him up entirely?  

He shakes his head, trying as hard as he can to shake the thoughts from his brain entirely. He opens your social media, which he has found himself doing every time he seems to be on the verge of a panic attack recently. He finds his favourite picture of you, a candid photo of you in a coffee shop mid-laugh, your eyes sparkling and cheeks rosy. He loves your smile in this picture.  

He hopes he can make you smile like that.  

Saturday goes by painfully slowly for you. The dragging hours aren’t helped by your awful hangover that seems to have convinced your brain that any slight movement will have you vomiting. You cringe rereading the messages you sent Edward the evening prior, hangxiety hitting you like a train.  

Eddie? Seriously?  

You have one conversation with the guy and have already started throwing nicknames around- you're in shock that you didn’t scare him off with how forward you were being. If he brings it up, you can always blame it on how drunk you were, which isn’t exactly a lie.  

He doesn’t text you until later in the evening, just a simple message confirming that you’re still on for tomorrow. You wonder if he’s as nervous as you are, if his anxiety manifests itself in the way he chews at his lower lip the same way you do.  

When Sunday finally rolls around, you wake up extra early to give yourself as much time to get ready as humanly possible. You would never admit it to anyone, but you’d picked out your outfit the night before and laid it on your desk chair, your nervous excitement barely allowing you to get a wink of sleep.   

Edward had offered to pick you up, but you really do not need him seeing the shithole you live in the first time he sees you outside of work. You both agree to meet outside the bar, and since it’s in walking distance from your apartment, you decide against getting a taxi.  

Gotham is strangely beautiful in March, the last moments of winter finally coming to fruition. The sun is just beginning to set when you step out into the chilly air, casting an orange glow on the old buildings and warming your cheeks against the cold.   

Edward’s heart races as he clumsily stumbles out of the subway station. He's almost twenty minutes early and grasps a cluster of lilies in one hand, the other of which he uses to steady himself against a lamppost. The lady from his favourite podcast whispers soothingly in his ear as he attempts to block out the loudness of the city and steady his breathing.  

“You are strong, and you are worthy. Be the change you want to see.”  

He closes his eyes, taking deep breaths before finally grounding himself. Edward is all too aware of how he must look right now: sweaty, clutching a bouquet of flowers while standing alone outside a bar. He glances at his watch. Still ten minutes until your meeting time.  

He tries to ignore the lump in his throat and the stinging in his eyes. You will show up. You have to.  

Edward jumps slightly when his phone chimes in his pocket. His heart drops when he realises it’s a text from you.  

so sorry!!! running a few mins late :/ decided to walk today and ofc that’s the day that every traffic light in the city decides to break LOL  

The light-hearted tone in your message doesn’t do much to comfort him. He types a short answer and sends it, trying to focus all of his energy on his podcast and not crying from how utterly terrified he is.  

Ten minutes after your initially agreed upon meeting time, Edward hears a voice shouting his name. He looks up to be met with the image of you practically sprinting down the street towards him. You pull to a stop in front of him, smoothing your hair down and smiling bashfully up at him. Christ, you forgot how tall he is.  

“Before you say anything, I am so sorry. First there was the traffic light thing, then one of my old college friends stopped me in the street and decided that she wanted to update me on every single day of the past three years of her life.”  

You breathe in heavily through your nose, your hands on your knees as you try and keep yourself from keeling over. You make a mental note to begin using that gym membership you keep renewing. Quitting smoking would probably help, too.  

You look up when Edward hasn’t responded for several moments, and his cheeks are very pink.  

“Look, you have every right to be pissed at me. If you want to cancel-”  

Before you can finish, Edward interrupts you by thrusting a bouquet of flowers into your hands.  

“Th-these are for you. I, um, remembered you mentioning lilies were your favourite flower, so...” He stumbles over his words, talking just a little too fast. 

You're quite literally lost for words. You examine the flowers, your cheeks growing warm; it's a lovely spray of pink, yellow and orange lilies, tied together with a cream ribbon. They’re a little crumpled, but nothing that can’t be fixed with a little plant food. You smile at Edward.  

“Oh, Edward. They're gorgeous, really, thank you. No guy’s ever gotten me flowers before...”  

A small, lopsided grin spreads across his face.   

“I can’t imagine why anyone lucky enough to have you wouldn’t get you flowers.”  

You flush at that, and loop your arm around his, leading him inside. You manage to find a nice booth in the corner, away from the stage and speakers that surround it while Edward heads to the bar. You anxiously drum your fingers on the table and scroll through your phone, not really paying attention to what you’re meant to be reading as your mind replays what Edward had said earlier.  

Edward watches you from the bar, admiring the high flush on your cheekbones and the way your outfit hugs your body. By the time he’s ordered and heading back to your table, you seem a little more relaxed. You smile at him gratefully as you accept your drink and try not to make your staring too obvious.  

He looks handsome. He's wearing such a basic outfit, just a simple button up shirt and some smart slacks, but there’s something about Edward wearing something so casual and making it look so good that has you crossing your legs under the table.  

“You look lovely tonight, by the way.”  

You smile shyly at him, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass.  

“Thank you, Edward. I have to say, you clean up pretty good yourself.”  

He laughs, and you don’t miss the way it sounds like it's one of disbelief.  

“Well, I don’t know if I’d say that.”  

You roll your eyes playfully, taking a sip of your drink.  

“Well, I would. You look really handsome.”  

Edward shakes his head, a bashful smile on his face as he looks down, taking a sip of water. The pair of you sit there for a few moments in awkward silence, trying to think of something to start a conversation with. 

“So-” 

“You-” 

You lock eyes and both laugh, cheeks red. You wave your hand. 

“Sorry, you go.” 

Edward averts his gaze, fiddling with his collar. 

“I, um, was just going to ask how you found this place? I’ve never even heard of it. Well, I suppose the fact I don’t drink and don’t listen to jazz music doesn’t help, but...” 

Edward finds himself trailing off, kicking himself for how utterly awkward he is. The way you smile at him, unfazed, doesn’t help. 

How could someone like you ever find any interest in someone like him? 

“It’s a funny story, actually. My old roommate was on a date with this absolute dick, and she needed me to come save her. So, what happened was....” 

As you tell him the grandiose story of having to pretend to be your roommates' partner who caught her cheating, and how you had to run away when her date attempted to fight you, Edward can’t help but admire the way your eyes light up as you gesture wildly with your hands, the way your laugh comes out as an adorable snort when you attempt to do an impression of her very flustered date.  

You are so beautiful. He wishes he could capture this moment in a bottle and replay it every day, for the rest of his life. 

He doesn’t realise how much he’s staring until you clear your throat a little awkwardly, clearly finished with your tale. He can feel the warmth on his cheeks. 

“Ah, well, I do hope you don’t have some secret boyfriend who’s going to jump out on me like that.” 

He bites his lip after saying whatever the hell that was, but to his complete disbelief you laugh. Not a pity laugh, not one of discomfort, but a genuine laugh, one that’s just a little too loud, one that disturbs some of the patrons around you. 

You clearly don’t care, your head thrown back as that smile, that lovely smile from his favourite picture spreads across your face. Even as you speak, uncontrollable giggles escape you. 

“Oh God, can you imagine? Lucky for you, I’ve been single for a while, so don’t worry about my secret boyfriend coming in and trashing the place.” 

That makes Edward laugh, much to your pleasure, and just like that, the tension in the air has dissolved. You can see Edward’s tense shoulders visibly relax, and the next few hours are spent under the warm light of the bar’s lamps, your conversations hushed and filled with longing glances, and it feels like you’re the only two people in the world that exist. 

The two of you step out into the bitter cold of the evening, hands fumbling for your respective cartons of cigarettes. Your shivering hands are somehow able to summon a flame from your crappy old lighter, and the alcohol in your system, as well as the way Edward looks at you with such adoration in his eyes, warm you from the inside out. He offers you his arm and you take it maybe just a little too enthusiastically as you walk through the city streets. 

When you look up at Edward, he’s already got his eyes on you, the tip of his nose pink from the late winter air. You can feel the flush spreading across your face, quickly averting your eyes to the sparkling lights of the skyscrapers. 

Edward retracts his arm from yours, and you look up at him again, confused and somewhat offended. He’s shrugging his parka off his shoulders and draping it over your own before you can even comprehend what’s happening. 

“You’re shivering. You might not feel cold because you’ve been drinking, but I can see the goosebumps on your arms.” 

He says this so matter-of-factly. Does he not realise how romantic and thoughtful his actions are? He opens his mouth to speak again, but you interrupt him. 

“Thank you.” 

He offers you that adorable lopsided grin that accentuates just how round and soft his cheeks are. 

“It’s really no problem. I don’t want you getting sick.” 

Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s just how perfect the night has been. Maybe it’s the way he looks at you like you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Before you can second-guess yourself, you’re removing the cigarette from between his lips and replacing it with a kiss. 

He's stiff at first, unsure, before you feel a hesitant hand on your face, thumb caressing your cheek. He pulls away first, pressing his forehead to yours, and you can practically see the stars in his eyes. 

“...Wow.” 

You suddenly feel bashful, pulling away from him completely and taking a drag from your cigarette. 

“Sorry, I-” 

“Why are you apologising?” 

You meet his gaze again, his glasses fogged up, but not enough to conceal the way his brow knits with worry, the apprehension in his eyes. 

“I don’t know, I- I should have asked first.” 

He takes your hand in his own, his smile so comforting that you feel all your worries melt away almost instantaneously. 

“You don’t ever have to worry about asking me something like that. The answer will always be yes.” 

He kisses you again, softly, and you can taste the tobacco on his tongue, making your head spin. His other hand comes to rest on your hip, squeezing it reassuringly as he takes your breath away. 

You pull away first this time, readjusting his glasses which have slipped down his nose. 

“Do you want to come back to my place?” 

Edward’s face goes entirely red at your suggestion, and he stumbles over his words as he tries to string together a coherent sentence. 

“I- um, well...” 

You smile patiently, and he returns it somewhat hesitantly. 

“I’ve- I’ve really enjoyed our night together, and I, just, um... I like you so much that, ah, I don’t really think we should rush anything. You’ve had a bit to drink, and I would hate to take advantage of that.” 

Your eyes sting at his rejection as you attempt to muster up a tight-lipped smile, nodding stiffly. Edward’s smile drops. 

“Oh dear, I’ve upset you, haven’t I?” 

When you don’t quite meet his eyes, he sighs and gently holds your hand, giving you the chance to push him away. When you don’t, he pushes a little further, holding your chin between two fingers and tilting your head up to meet his gaze. 

“I’m not lying when I say I like you. I really do, and I would hate to rush something as important as... that... especially when you’re intoxicated. I don’t want you to have any regrets. You're too special.” 

Your heart leaps at his words, and you give Edward a small smile. It was never about him, or his comfort. He’s worried that you’d regret sharing yourself with him. 

“I... yeah. I guess I’m just used to guys only expecting one thing out of a date. I really like you too, Eddie.” 

He presses a chaste kiss to your lips, offering you his hand. 

“Let me walk you home?” 

You nod, leaning into his side.  

Edward, of course, knows exactly where you live, but feigns ignorance as you take the lead back to your apartment. He'd know your building anywhere, thanks to his tendency to follow you home after work to ensure your safety, but being in front of it now, with you by his side, feels so fresh and new that it’s almost as if he’s seeing it for the first time. 

It's falling apart, of course. Every building in Gotham that isn’t owned by someone extremely wealthy is. Crude graffiti adorns the crumbling brick walls, and he feels you stiffen up beside him when you notice a couple of shady guys, probably dealing drops, only a few feet away. 

“It’s not exactly... the best area. Will you at least wait for your cab in my apartment? I really don’t want you getting mugged, or worse.” 

Even with his impressive height, you’re worried Edward could be a target. His smart clothes definitely don’t help. 

Edward can hardly believe his luck at finally being able to see the inside of your apartment. Of course, he’s seen it from outside your window when he’s perched on your fire escape late at night, but this is different. This is intimate. Even though he’d turned down your offer for sex, you’re still revealing such a personal aspect of yourself to him. 

You trust him. 

You lead him into the rundown building, apologising for the elevator that has been broken for months. He already knows that, but nods anyway.  

“That’s okay. Five flights of stairs won’t do me any harm.” 

When you finally make it inside, he perches somewhat awkwardly on your couch, his height making the piece of furniture appear ridiculously small. You curl up on the other side of the sofa, giving him his space as he books an Uber home. 

The silence is thick, but comfortable. Edward is so engrossed in his phone that you’re finally given the chance to really study his features. The curve of his strong nose that holds up his glasses, the roundness of his cheeks, the softness of his jaw. The warmth of the numerous lamps scattered around your apartment light up his face with a soft glow that makes him look almost cherubic. 

Edward glances at you, clearly feeling your intense gaze. He doesn’t seem anywhere near as nervous as usual, his smile relaxed. 

“You okay?” 

You prop your head up with your hand and nod, content. 

“You’re so handsome, you know?” 

His cheeks grow pink, his smile a little more shy. His voice is a whisper when he speaks. 

“Thank you.” 

You lapse into another comfortable silence as he returns to his phone, the smile never leaving his face. His phone chimes and he stands reluctantly. 

“Cab’s nearly here...” 

You walk him to the door, and he lingers for a moment. 

“Can I-?” 

You don’t give him time to finish, tugging him down by his collar and pressing your lips to his in another soft kiss. His hands find refuge at your waist, pulling you closer to him. You run your hands up his sides, and he reacts with a delicious shiver to your utter delight. Gathering your nerves, you tease his lower lip with a nibble, and he chases your mouth with a soft groan when you pull away from him.  

You grin at his flustered state, his cheeks red and glasses fogged up, his sandy fringe ruffled beyond repair. You press one more lingering kiss to his lips before unlocking your door. 

“You said your taxi’s nearly here?” 

A chuckle escapes Edward, an octave lower than what you’re used to, and your knees go weak at the sound. He runs his hand through his hair, adjusting his glasses. 

“You are so cruel.” 

You glance down, immediately realising what he’s referencing, and giggle giddily. 

“You’ll just have to wait for next time, I guess.” 

He sighs, a dazed smile on his face. 

“So, you want me to take you out again?” 

You roll your eyes playfully, standing on your tiptoes so that your mouth is on level with his ear. You run a hand down his chest, your voice a sultry purr. 

“I thought that much was obvious.” 

Edward breathes out heavily through his nose and you smile innocently at him before kissing his cheek. The tension is shattered by the loud sound of his ringtone and you both jump back, the spell broken. Edward smiles apologetically at you when he answers the phone before panic spreads across his face. You can faintly hear a very angry man shouting at him on the other side of the line. 

“Yes, yes! Sorry! I’ll be right there! Sorry!” 

The other caller hangs up and you snort, pushing him gently out the door. 

“Don’t let me keep you any longer from the most awkward ride home of your life. Are you gonna tell the driver you left him waiting so long because you were making out with your colleague?” 

Edward stumbles over his words, the flush on his cheeks somehow deepening.  

“I, ah, will not be doing that. Christ, I’m going to have to tip him even more than I was planning to, aren’t I?” 

You giggle and Edward laughs too, giving you one last quick kiss before practically throwing himself down the stairs. 

You close your door, sighing dreamily like the protagonist of a cheesy rom-com. You shoot Edward a quick text and sink onto your sofa, your heart thrumming. You'd gotten him to open up. You're going to go on another date. You kissed him. As far as first dates go, you’d chalk that up to being pretty successful.  

The rest of your evening is spent texting back and forth with Edward, and when you finally roll into bed your brain is clouded with thoughts of him, his smile, the feeling of his lips on yours. You’re so focused on the image of Edward’s silly flustered smile after you kissed him for the first time that your rational thinking completely skips over one minor detail that you’ll have completely forgotten by the time you wake up. 

How did he know what floor you live on? 

[holdinbacksecrets]

hmm vacation with bf! jk!! 🥰

i wrote this while rewatching in the soop, so that’s the inspiration

♡the idea of flying somewhere is cute, but going on a road trip would be 🥺🥺

♡you pack the day before and ask jungkook to fold your t shirts because you still can’t figure out the sorcery he applies to their cotton. he chuckles at the sight of your awe

♡you baked the monster cookies your mother used to make for family road trips. the aroma filled your apartment and brought tears to your eyes. nearly two decades have passed since you last enjoyed them

♡you leave around 1am, drive through the night, and roll the window down to watch the stars. he ruffles your hair, cooing over your cuteness and love for the night sky

♡as 4am approaches, he tells you to sleep, but you’re worried “my job’s to keep you awake” “i’ll wake you up if i’m feeling tired. how does that sound?”

♡instead, you’re woken at 9am because he stopped for snacks, understandably so. your monster cookies are far from what he’s craving

♡you drive for a while so he can eat, and jungkook is quick to take control of the music. you miss his adoring smile while admiring you in the driver's seat and tracing the moles on your skin with his eyes. your entire body relaxes as his melodious voice fills your ear. “the first time you sang for me, i fell asleep in your living room.” “i remember that. knew i loved you then.”

♡talking about anything and everything. topics you never expected to land on come up, and your heart skips a beat when jungkook mentions engagement rings, wondering what diamond cut is your favorite, guessing correctly that you want a colored stone

♡the first week of your vacation will be spent in the countryside as jungkook has spoken so highly of his time there with his members. you naturally wanted to experience it too

♡after settling in and unpacking, the two of you walk to the small town to buy groceries for the week

♡you crouch down outside the shop to greet a cat with a reverberating purr. you could spend hours in that very position, admiring the furry friend with kind eyes and grey coloring, approaching a trance of comfort when jungkook calls your name

♡it rains that afternoon. the two of you sit out on the front porch; your head rests comfortably on jungkook’s shoulder. the serene quiet is interrupted when you ask what he’s thinking about. you’re curious what it’s like for him to be still. you’ve asked before, but the fascination finds you again. your curiosity lingers before blooming like floral spring

♡spreading a blanket out on the cool grass that evening after dinner, listening to the sounds of little critters drowned out by the city’s loudness and apartment living

♡falling asleep after a glass of wine— you’re a lightweight, but jungkook wakes you up because he knows how you feel about brushing your teeth before bed

♡jungkook wakes up so early, and you find him shirtless on the dock painting the view. you sit behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his bare back. his fingertips brush your hand. you kiss his skin

♡you brought ingredients for hot chocolate and start your day with its sweetness instead of your usual coffee while jungkook looks through the fridge and sings the options

♡going on walks together, loving the breeze and the way it collects the aromas of wildflowers, rich dirt, and the subtle notes of jungkook’s body wash

♡playing twenty questions and giggling whenever one of you catches a subtle lie from the other. eventually, one of you slips and misses a skewed detail “the only punishment i can think of is doing the dishes, but you love to.”

♡you brought your most prized possession: a vintage polaroid (and a new scrapbook). hours of the trip were spent creating a book of vacation memories with handwritten notes and cute stickers from the bottom of your bag

♡a sentimental conversation late at night, talking about recent battles with anxiety because sometimes reality crashes down on you so hard, but it’s damage is swallowed by the fast pace of life until you slow down again

♡tracing morning dew on the bedroom window while your opposite hand smooths the soft strands of his hair. jungkook’s cheek is pressed into the pillow. his lips are parted. you begin to hum as the rain starts again, feeling peaceful, hoping it stays, and knowing it will as long as he’s with you

♡watching movies in the living room you haven’t seen in ages, singing tunes, and playfully showing off remembered choreography from your youth choir’s performance of under the sea

♡packing your things. seven days passed in a blink, but the city you're soon to meet makes it easier to leave. "goodbye house. goodbye fireflies. goodbye clear sky. i'll see you again soon beyond the clouds."

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff 

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.) 

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not. 

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look,"  you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him.  First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions. 

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him. 

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

[bubble-tea-bunny]

sweet talk

[tamaki suoh x reader]

author’s note: been rewatching ouran and found the time to write smth small. basically a really late valentine’s fic lol. i’m drafting an idea for takashi as well atm. maybe kyoya after? ;)

word count: 1,844

At this time of year, the weather is chilly, the air cold even without the presence of wind and warranting the need for a scarf to avoid a red-tipped nose and numb cheeks. Most days are gloomy, the overcast sky glaringly bright and difficult to look at. But today, it would seem the divine hand in charge of the course of the seasons has granted a reprieve, the clouds parting so the sun might wash over the grass that you and Tamaki sit upon currently, in the garden of the Suoh estate.  

The gardeners had finished their tasks this morning, as instructed by Tamaki the night before. It gave you two the opportunity to be out there alone in the afternoon. The hedges are trimmed and tidy, and the smell of freshly cut grass is strong. You inhale deeply, chest puffed, and sigh in satisfaction as the scent reaches your nose. It had been so long since you sat out in a garden, owed to the fact it had been too cold for that lately.

Tamaki chuckles at your enthusiasm and rifles through the picnic basket he’d brought with him. He pushes aside the array of deserts—cake slices, chocolate bars, fruit tarts, and more—their colorful wrappings crinkling loud enough to grab your attention.

“Where is it…” he mutters.

You tilt your head. "Where is what?”

The tip of Tamaki’s tongue sticks out the corner of his mouth, evidence of his concentration, and when he finally finds what he’s searching for, he holds it up like a first place prize, complemented by an exclamation: “Aha!”

It’s a small plastic pouch, clear with red stripes and tied near the top with a matching, shiny red poly ribbon to keep it closed. There’s what you assume to be candy inside, in various colors, but you don’t recognize it. You’re still just as clueless, but you don’t need to voice your question because Tamaki can see the confusion written across your face.

“It’s commoner candy!” he explains. “Well, commoner Valentine’s candy, more specifically.”

You continue to watch, intrigued by what he’s brought, as he pulls at the ribbon to loosen it and opens the pouch, reaching inside for one of the pieces of candy. He holds up the heart-shaped treat, gripped carefully between index finger and thumb, and angles it so you can see what’s written on it: Sweetheart.

Upon realizing there’s wording on it, and that the same must go for every heart in the bag, your eyes light up. “Cute!”

“It is, isn’t it?” Tamaki agrees, voice quiet as he observes the candy. The nickname is printed red though the lettering isn’t too sharp, which gives away that it was done by a machine. “Haruhi got one for all the host club members, and I wanted to share mine with you.”

When he turns to you, amethyst eyes warm like a summer night, you smile. And when he offers the bag of heart candies to you, you eagerly reach in for one. “How thoughtful!” You turn over the piece you picked out: Only You.

“Well, shall we try them together?” Tamaki inquires, and you nod. The two of you pop the candy into your mouths in unison, then sit silently for a moment in contemplation.

It’s… unique, is the best description you can come up with. The powdery, pressed substance is basically a sugar bomb that melts once it comes in contact with your tongue. But it isn’t the quality of sugar you’re accustomed to—it’s far and away from the refined sweetness of the handmade confections stashed away in the picnic basket Tamaki brought along. Still, this mass-produced goody is delightful in its own way, in taste and novelty, for you have never seen such small candies with words on them, and you say as much to your boyfriend, the last traces of the heart candy lingering on your lips which you lick away.

“They’re charming,” you remark, reaching for another piece. “For when you can’t find the words or get them out yourself.” You read what’s written on the yellow heart you grabbed, then turn it to show Tamaki: Be Mine.

Tamaki’s attention briefly diverts down to read it as well, and the corner of his lips lifts in a lopsided grin as he meets your eyes again. “Sure, they can be useful for some people, but I can get by just fine without candy telling me what to say. How could I call myself the king of the host club if I weren’t able to string together pretty words?” Always conducting himself with some semblance of dramatic flare, he puts a hand to his chest, and the sunlight reflects off his eyes in a way that makes it seem like there’s a tear or two forming in the corners.

As usual, his acting is impeccable, and you can’t contain your smile; he’s such a natural. You have no objections to his claim as king of the school’s host club, and if you’re being honest, you wish you had even half the charisma he does, that some of the skill he possesses at waxing lyrical would rub off onto you via proximity alone.

“They would’ve come in handy for me that day I confessed to you,” you admit shyly, and it’s Tamaki’s turn to tilt his head, confused but waiting for you to expound. “These candies say all the things I wanted to say to you then.”

The day you came to terms with your feelings about Tamaki and the day you actually revealed them to him were different, and the time in between had been spent in a state of conflict over whether it was worth mustering up the courage to approach him about it. There was little doubt in your mind that the president of the host club received declarations of love left and right, a routine part of his week, a clockwork consistency like that of waking in the morning and laying down to sleep in the evening. You’re a drop of water in the ocean; what could possibly make you stand out?

For all that, you figured you should confess anyway. Rejection was still an answer and it was better than nothing. At least after the gentle let down (because truly, Tamaki is, without fail, graceful in matters of love, both the reciprocal and the unrequited) your turmoil over what he may say would finally be put at ease.

Though you rehearsed over and over what you would say and how you would say it, the practice ends up being useless, and you weren’t sure why you even bothered. Once you met his kind gaze—expectant and patient, giving you the opportunity to gather the words in the stretching silence that would be oddly too long in any other context—the resolve you had slowly been building on your walk to the meeting point by the fountain crumbled. You tripped over your words at the sight of his tender smile. Tamaki just had that effect on people, and you wished he’d look at you that way always. To be on the receiving end of his affection was to bask in the warmth of a sun that never sets.

It’s a feeling you’re distinctly reminded of now, sitting in the garden on an uncharacteristically sunny day for winter and the center of Tamaki’s attention, and you think you might be set alight from the sheer intensity (due mostly to Tamaki; the sun is poor competition in contrast). He wears that beautifully soft expression, mind clearly having thought back to your confession as yours just had. But it seems his recollection differs slightly, for he presents a counterpoint.

“I thought you handled it perfectly.” He sets the bag of heart candies on the grass and braces himself with his now freed hand, which allows him to lean closer to you. He enters your bubble but you never mind it, and his touch is feather-light as he brushes your hair behind your ear.

You’re unpersuaded, however, and raise a brow. “Really?”

Tamaki chuckles and nods, blonde hair bouncing with the singular motion. “Your eyes spoke for the words you had trouble finding. I might be the one stringing together pretty poetry like diamonds around your neck”��his fingers slide lower to trace the curve of your collarbone left exposed by the cut of your blouse, and you shiver—“but you have no need for words at all, much less the turns of phrases on pieces of candy.”

“Is that why you liked me too?” you ask, remembering his own confession that had followed closely on the heel of yours. You keep your voice hushed because given how close to each other you are, there’s no need for any higher of a volume.

Tamaki hums in confirmation. His index finger delicately taps once, twice, thrice, on the hollow at the base of your throat, a sort of absentminded movement while absorbed in his thoughts, before he once more brings his hand up, cradling your cheek. “You say you’re a drop in the ocean but you’re the drops of morning dew on the roses just outside my bedroom window. My heart flutters to breathe you in.”  

You smile, bashful, and set your hand over his, interlacing your fingers. Your cheeks have darkened in a blush Tamaki would like to kiss. “Okay, I’m convinced,” you concede with a murmur. He’s so close to you now. “When I admitted how I felt, maybe it didn’t go as badly as I thought.”

This elicits another laugh from Tamaki. Instead of acting on his desire to run his lips along your silken skin (there would be time for that later), he settles for a quick peck on your nose, then reaches into the pouch of heart candies, temporarily abandoned but not forgotten. His fingers curl around two pieces and he pulls them both out rather than dropping one, but he sees the words on them before you do since his hand obscures them from your view.

“The powers governing destiny have destined our souls for each other,” he declares. “Because you and me, it’s love.”

He uncurls his fingers to reveal the candy in his palm, and you look down at them. The green one reads You & Me, and the blue one It’s Love. This prompts you to giggle. It’s music to his ears.

“What happened to not needing candy to tell you what to say?” Your tone is playful.

Tamaki shrugs, unable to hide his amused grin. “I pulled them out at random. If this is the universe speaking to me, who would I be to argue?”

You have no counter to this, not that you think there even is one. Destiny is destiny and as Tamaki feeds you one of the hearts and you bite into it, the sugar once more dissolving on your tongue, you can only thank those powers which make the world turn for conferring their blessing upon the two of you in such a deliciously sweet way.

[cherryonigiri]

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

[thenocturnalmushroom]

A Cozy Night - Touyuki - CCS

Tags: Fluff; Domestic; Domestic Fluff; Self-Indulgent; Established Relationship

Read on AO3

It was almost eleven at night and Yukito still having no desire to go to sleep. He was comfortably sitting under his kotatsu, accompanied by a good show on his laptop, a tin of cookies and some delicious hot tea – a perfect combo to a winter night. His plan was to finish watching the said show that same night, even if he had to stay up until dawn; it was a Friday night and he had no class nor job the next morning so he had no worries regarded his bedtime. Besides, the show was worth the loss of some sleep hours.

The silver-haired boy was completely immersed into the story, anxiously nibbling at a sugar cookie and barely noticing how his body was slowly leaning toward the laptop while his almost unblinking eyes refused to go away from the screen. The first real confront of the main character and the true villain was finally happening, and it was intense. Yukito had been waiting for it for the last seven episodes and he didn’t want to miss even the smallest detail; he was sure that everything about that scene would be important later in the story. His focus was completely stolen by the show and everything else was forgotten for some long, long minutes.

And that was why the boy nearly jumped out of his skin when the bell of his house rang, letting the half-eaten cookie slip from between his fingers.

It took him only a second to recover from the startle. He quickly paused the video and retrieved the cookie from the table, throwing it into his mouth, before heading to the front door, still chewing on the sweet. Being a little past eleven now, Yukito could only think about one single person who would come to visit him this late at night - and it made his heart singing inside his chest.

He hurried to open the door, and there was no surprise when he found Touya waiting outside, his hands shoved into the pockets of his heavy coat and a soft smile touching his lips.

“Hey!”, his boyfriend greeted him so casually, as if he wasn’t clearly freezing in that cold night.

“Touya!”, Yukito exclaimed his name for both the pleasure of saying it and as slight scold. He gave a step aside. “Hurry inside or you’ll end up getting sick!”

Touya wasted no time and complied. While Yukito closed and locked the door again, Touya carefully landed his backpack on the floor right before taking off his shoes, placing them besides his boyfriend’s ones.

“What are you doing here?”, the silver-haired boy asked while helping the other to take out his coat, which was slightly wet from the light snow that was falling outside. “I thought your shift at the restaurant would only end around midnight.”

“Things were too slow today, so my boss decided to close earlier.”, Touya casually passed his hands through his damped hair, shaking it softly. He had strongly regraded not having brought with him an umbrella or at least a bonnet.

Yukito quickly run to the cupboard to fetch a towel for him.

“If you have some spare time, you should have gone home and rested. You’ve been working harder than the usual this week.”, he said, handing the towel to Touya. It wasn't like he wasn't happy to see the other boy. Not at all. The week had been so busy that they had barely had time to meet outside the few classes they share together. However, Yukito couldn’t help but worry about Touya and his health; he would gladly sacrifice some of their time together if that meant that Touya was getting a proper time to rest, recovering all the energy he had spent between classes and all his numerous part-time jobs. He knew his boyfriend was strong, but he was still human.

“I think I can rest here pretty well, can’t I?”, Touya put the towel round his neck and gave a step forward to close even more the already short distance between them. Gently, he touched Yukito’s face, a cold hand on a warm skin, giving to both of them a pleasant shiver. Looking unbothered by the coolness of his boyfriend’s hand, Yukito covered it with his own hand, rubbing his cheek against Touya’s palm as if to lend it some warmth in a tender, affectionate gesture. As tender and affectionate as the smile they both wore on his lips. “Besides, I am home.”

Yukito’s eyes widened for a moment, his face feeling suddenly hot; he wasn’t waiting for a response like that. He felt a bubbling sensation being born inside his stomach and rise through his throat, taking the shape of a soft, cheerful giggle. “Tou-ya, you’re such a sappy!”

“Who are you calling sappy?”, Touya frowned, using the hand he was resting on the other boy’s face to pinch his cheek lightly. He looked annoyed, but Yukito knew it was only a facade; he could see all the softness around his boyfriend’s dark eyes, at the tips of his thin lips, almost imperceptibly turned upwards. And it only made him laugh even more.

Seeing Yukito like this made Touya’s frown melted into the fondest of the smiles. The urge of kissing the silver-haired boy he always feels whenever he sees his face – or thinks about him – only intensified at the that moment and Touya decided to just go for it. He leaned forward, now with both of his hand gingerly cupping Yukito’s face, bringing him closer and closer and closer, so ready to taste his lips once again, always so soft and sweet.

But the kiss never came.

“No! No! No! Rest first, kisses second!”, Yukito declared and ,with an unexpected quick movement, he turned his boyfriend around before putting his hand on his back to gently lead him to the living room.

“Yuki, what the…”

“You go rest and I’ll make some sandwiches and pour some tea for us. You can kiss me as much as you want later.”

“Fine.”, Touya agreed in defeat. It wasn’t exactly what he had planned, but it sounded good enough for him.

--

Touya took a place at the kotatsu, finishing drying his hair while listening Yukito in the kitchen preparing their snacks. He thought about offering some help to his boyfriend, but he quickly dismissed the idea; Yukito had insisted so much to him to take a rest that the boy would, for sure, kicked him out of the kitchen in no time. Without much to do, he stared at the laptop over the table, finding a paused image of what looked like an intense fight scene on its screen, and started trying to guess what this show was about.

It didn’t take much time for Touya to start feeling bored. He started darting looks at the open door, as if doing so Yukito would hurry up and come back to keep him company. He had been craving his boyfriend presence during that entire hectic week; they had had so little time to spend together these past days and Touya was eager to compensate for the lost time, for all the hugs and kisses and smiles they wasn’t able to share throughout the week.

A few more minutes had passed and Touya decided that being scolded and kicked out of the kitchen by Yukito would worth it.

However, none of it came to him.

“Ah, Toya! Great timing!”, exclaimed Yukito, his hands holding a tray piled up with half dozen  sandwiches. Resting over the sink top, another tray was waiting to be picked up, this one carrying two mugs and a steaming teapot. The sweet essence of the tea was hanging on the air, hitting Toya’s noise with the fresh smell of peaches and mint. “Can you pick the other tray, please?”

Carrying a tray each, Touya and Yukito came back to the living room and, without any waste of time, they set the table for their almost-midnight snack, sitting shoulder to shoulder under the heat of the kotatsu. Touya asked about the movie on the laptop screen and Yukito gladly talked all about it while they were eating, making sure to avoid any greater spoilers.

“That show sounds pretty cool.”, Touya said, between a bite and another. If he were being honest, he wasn’t sure if the plot of the show actually sounded that great or if it was Yukito’s enthusiasm about it that picked up his interest on it.

“If you want to, we can watch it together! I wouldn’t mind rewatching the previous episodes with you.”, his smile was so warm, so cozy when he made the offer that Touya found himself completely unable to answer anything but yes.

“Sure! Do you wanna start right now?” and the silver-haired boy didn’t need any other word to draw his laptop closer and click back on the very first episode of the series.

Rewatching the show was still pretty fun, but having Touya by his side was the best part of it. And it wasn’t only because now he had someone to share his thoughts about it. Having Touya’s arm around him, involving his body with his warmth, his scent, his strong but gentle presence, filled Yukito’s heart with the coziest of the feelings.

He felt whole. He felt safe.

He felt at home.

The same could be told about Touya. The boy could feel all the tiredness of the week melting away, leaving his shoulders lighter and his chest full of warmness and the sweetest peace. He nestled his boyfriend comfortably into his arms and rested his cheek on the top of his head, breathing slowly, absorbing Yukito’s presence and letting it impregnate his lungs, his heart, his whole being.

It was like magic; something fantastic and hard to describe, but so easy to feel – to get immerse in.

Yukito was his safe place and Touya always does his best to be the same to Yukito.

In their small, quiet world, Touya could finally feel truly relaxed, leaving all the stress and exhaustion from that long, long week behind and embrace the serenity of the moment. He allowed his body to go limp and his eyelids to get heavier and heavier, giving in to a sweet sleepiness state.

“I think we should go sleep.”, Yukito suggested, a hint of laughter in his voice. “We can watch the rest of the show tomorrow.”

Touya yawned. “Good idea.”

The taller boyfriend unwrapped his arms from around the other to stretch his body a bit, letting the silver-haired boy free to lean toward and close his laptop. But, before he could do anything else, such as get up and start cleaning up the table, Touya enlaced his waist once again, keeping him close to himself.

“Hey, don’t think I forgot about the kisses you’ve promised me!”, Touya smiled and cupped Yukito’s face with one of his hands, his thumb tenderly stroking his boyfriend’s cheek.

Yukito’s eyes lighted up like a moon finally appearing from behind a thick layer of clouds; so bright, so beautiful, so powerful against the darkness. Toya nearly lost his breath when he smiled back at him, the same smile that made him fall in love so many years ago. Sweet and vibrant. So sincere and genuine, coming from his core and growing until it blossom into his lips.

Those warm, soft lips that Touya was dying to kiss. So, that was what he did it.

Toya leaned forward and kissed Yukito exactly the way he was waiting for the whole day: slowly and affectionate, enjoying every single second of it. There was no hurry; they had all the time in the world - their private world. They could just allowed themselves to get lost in each other’s touch, to dive in each other’s warmth, in the sweetness of the other’s mouth. To Yukito, Touya’s lips had always tasted like peaches, but, somehow, they tasted especially sweet that night; he wondered if the tea they had had earlier would have something to do with that. Coincidentally, Touya found Yukito’s lips softer than ever, more tempting than ever.

“Satisfied?”, Yukito asked with a soft giggle when their lips parted. Even with their mouths parted, they kept their faces close, forehead to forehead, the tip of their noses softly brushing to the other in a loving gesture, while their bodies followed the example and still tangled in an embrace so tight that one could feel the other’s heart beating fast against their own.

“Not quite. I could have a dozen more of it, but I’m so tired right now that I think I’ll save them for tomorrow.”, as to emphasize his words, Touya closed his eyes and let his head slowly slip until it found the curve of Yukito’s neck, resting there with a content sigh. He could feel his boyfriend’s body shaking in a quiet laughter.

Yukito landed a gentle kiss on the top of Touya’s head, whispering against his dark strands: “They will be waiting for you in the morning.”

Hearing those words, Touya smiled and released the weight of his tired body over Yukito’s. Caught by surprise, the silver-haired boy’s body easily gave in with the sudden extra weight and lay down on his back with his boyfriend on his top, making both boys laugh.

Touya rested his head on Yukito’s chest and hugged his wait, while Yukito wrapped his arms around his shoulder, using one of his hands to stroke Touya’s hair in the most tender way, giving his boyfriend some pleasant goosebumps.

“We should go to bed, you know? Or we’re gonna catch a cold.”, Yukito said, but made no effort to get up or made his boyfriend to do so.

“We’ll be fine. We have the kotatsu and each other to keep ourselves warm the whole night.”, Touya’s voice was heavy with sleep, getting lower and lower with every word he said. Yukito only answer was a soft giggle and another kiss on his head.

They both felt so comfortable, so in peace resting in each other’s arms. They let the pounding of the other’s heart be their lullaby, leading them to a sweet slumber.

“Tou-ya~!”, Yukito called him with what was left of his consciousness.

“Hm?”

“Love you.”

Touya smiled to himself. “I love you, too.”

[kai-orions-writing-blog]

Nights Like These

Strawberry stained fingertips Chain-smoking Binge-watching Netflix

Flame flickered from the lighter, soon reaching the end of the cigarette. Smoke wafted into the air. Some random Netflix show played on their phone. The room smelled of smoke, nicotine, and strawberries, a strange mix, but a nice one.

Bike grease in my hair Blood on your jeans Blisters on our feet A huge grin full of teeth

They ran a hand through their hair, smearing bike grease through it. Flecks of blood spattered their friend’s jeans from the injuries gained from failed attempts at skateboarding. They kept their feet on the couch, not wanting to irritate the blisters that covered them. Grins graced their faces, half-drunk giggles escaping them.

The California drought The smell after the thunderstorm That knocked the power out

Rain fell harshly against the windows, flashes of lightning and crashes of thunder accompanying the noise. It was a wonderful reprieve from the drought that had crossed the area for the past month. Even then, the power had been knocked out, leaving them to rewatch pre-downloaded Netflix shows.

Sweat soaks up my handlebars I want to die with all my scars If they don’t like the way we are Then fuck them

A bike was tossed to the corner of the room, the felt covers on the handlebars soaked with sweat. Scars crossed their arms, harsh reminders of past mistakes. Both phones have been set on silent to ignore the influx of texts, some good but most bad. Ignoring them served as just a silent fuck you to the people trying to bring them down from their high.

And I stayed up Chain-smoking in the kitchen Until you got home And the curtains were on fire

Singed curtains hung over the kitchen window, a stark reminder of the fire started by the lighter used to light the cigarettes. Water still soaked the floor, having been used to douse the flames long after they had been started.

Fuck, I’m sorry you feel all alone With the TV blasting shadows on my face Hitching back to the apartment It was such a lonely place

Now dry tears track their face as they stare at the dark tv, ignoring the show playing from their phone. Thankful that they were no longer staying in the apartment, a place devoid of color but filled with dark memories. It was empty now, even lonelier than ever.

I place my head between my knees and think: “Do you ever have nights like these?“ So separated from my sense of self and The shit you keep up on your bookshelf

They pulled their knees to their chest, curling up and placing their head between their knees. Their mind was far away, detached from their body completely. Rustling was heard by the bookshelf, but they couldn’t bring themselves to look towards the noise.

So, I just take another sip I keep falling off and eating shit And forgetting to unclip

The tequila burned their throat and they let out a sigh. Their knees stung and they wiped the blood away from their nose with a sleeve, both injuries caused by an annoying fall onto the pavement.

The sun will rise another time For now it’s me and you, our bikes: We trip and stumble Laughing, to the park

Through the shadows and moonlight, they walked down the empty road, pulling their bikes with them. They stumbled, leaning on the other for support. There was a beat of silence and then laughter. Why they were laughing, they didn’t know, but they felt good.

The flea bites laid out on my wrist The heart-shaped blister on my palm The handlebars had etched

Flea bites littered their wrists, joining the scars that marred the skin. A blister covered their palm and they traced its shape with a marker, enjoying the heart it created.

My body is out On my back porch My brain is fucking somewhere else On the roof with the flags we torched

They stood on the back porch, a red solo cup filled with beer in their hand as they leaned against the railing. Meanwhile, their mind was gone, back to a day weeks ago. Two teens, standing on the roof of a building, holding up a flag together while it burned, filling the air with smoke.

And I stayed up Chain-smoking in the kitchen Until you got home And the curtains were on fire

Smoke drifted from the end of a cigarette. The air filled with the noise of water boiling, and in their unfocused state, they noticed just a second too late the fire starting at the tip of the curtains, which had gotten too close to the stove.

Fuck, I’m sorry you feel all alone With the T.V. blasting shadows on my face Hitching back to the apartment It was such a lonely place

Their mind drifted back to hours earlier, to an empty apartment. The dark tv, the feeling of loneliness that filled the area and made it feel much darker than it already was.

I place my head between my knees and think: “Do you ever have nights like these?“ So separated from my sense of self and The shit you keep up on your bookshelf

A lone figure sat on the couch, curled in on themselves. They muttered to the empty room, wondering if their friend felt the same some nights. Detached from the world around them, even the things resting on their bookshelf.

[p4nkow]

Maybe someday

A few days ago I rewatched this movie I grew up with which is called “Life as we know it” (I highly recommend you to watch it if you haven’t) and it gave me the inspiration to write this one shot. 

Summary: as Lucy and Rami finally leave for their late honeymoon, they ask Y/N and Ben a huge favour — they have to watch over their daughter, Sophie, for one whole week as they’re away. The only problem is that Y/N and Ben can barely stand each other.

Let me know what you think, I’d love to read your comments!

Anxious. Organised. Schematic. Hater of surprises.

If you had to describe yourself with simple, concise words, those’d have been your choices. Everyone who knew you was well aware of the fact that you tended to plan everything. It wasn’t something you liked to do — plan your life in its very details. You just couldn’t help it. Moreover, it helped you to make your schedule clear as well as your mind.

So when Lucy and Rami told you they had to talk to you, the level that your anxiety had reached could’ve been easily imagined. Their party had been awesome — it had given you the chance to meet old friends and to have a little chitchat with those you hadn’t seen in forever.

It’d have been perfect if it wasn’t for Ben.

Oh man, saying that you didn’t get along was not enough. One of the most important things that’d influenced your relationship was the fact that he’d screwed up your first blind date. First and last date, of course. It didn’t take a genius to understand that he had no wish to be there.

Since that day you’d met him quite often — it was impossible not to when your best friends were married and with a one-year-old child. That’s right. Rami had finally summoned the courage to propose to Lucy and now, almost a year and a half later, they had the most beautiful child you’d ever seen.

Sophie Malek was a feast for the eyes and you loved her. Before her you never understood the endless love people showed towards babies, but damn. It was impossible not to love her.

Ben did love her, too. That’s one of the few things that you appreciated about him.

He was just perfect when around her — always caring and careful about her needs. He’d always play with her and the sight of a grown-up Ben playing with duckies and princesses was quite funny. Funny, yes, but cute. Those were the only times when you were in a cease fire. You just couldn’t bring the little Sophie in your war of jabs.

“What’d you guys need to tell me?”

Rami and Lucy exchanged a look and you didn’t like the little smiles painted in their faces. They were pulling a scam on something and Lucy’s words did nothing but increase your suspicions. “Just wait a bit longer.”

Now that the party was over, it was only you, Lucy, Rami and the little Sophie sprawled in the couches of their living room. “How old are you, Soph? Huh?” The little girl had just learned to show her age with her fingers, raising the index finger at her mom’s question.

Lucy was your best friend, your wingman, your partner in crime, the sister you never had. Your friendship had been going on since high school and now she was a mom. God knows you cried your eyes out the day she gave birth.

The unlocking of the door brought you back from your thoughts and you sighed deeply at the sight of Ben. Even though there was resentment between the two of you, you couldn’t deny that he was good-looking. Extremely good-looking. The leather jacket he was wearing on top of his black shirt made him look even more attractive and you hoped he didn’t catch you staring at his black trousers which fit him perfectly. But why the hell did he always wear black?

“I put the garbage out. I hope I guessed right your can.” He didn’t seem to notice your presence as he closed the door behind him, so you just ignored him.

Then he spotted you sitting on the couch right in front of the couple and gave you just a simple nod. Unfortunately there was no room for him on their couch, so he was forced to sit on yours. He made sure to sit as far from you as possible, though.

“You smell so much of feminine scent that I’m about to throw up.”

Ben gave you one of his smirks and you truly wished you could punch him in the face. “You’re just jealous that it isn’t yours.”

“I pity those girls”, replied in kind. Your words did nothing but amuse him and you rolled your eyes.

“Guys.” Thank God Rami saved the situation as Lucy tried to hide her giggles in Sophie’s neck.

“You wanted to talk to us?”

Rami nodded at Ben’s question, surrounding Lucy’s shoulder with his arm. “Yeah, uhm...”

“Do you remember how we never got to leave for our honeymoon, right?”, Lucy came in his help.

“I remember your complaints about it, yeah.”

Lucy’s smile grew even bigger at your words. “We’d organised this big trip to Europe but then...”

“Sophie happened”, Rami concluded.

You remember it clearly, but still you didn’t understand what was their point. When you turned towards Ben for a quick look, you were glad to see that he was just as confused as you. “And?”

Lucy and Rami exchanged another look as Sophie squeezed her duck. “We’d love to do that trip. As a gift for our first anniversary.” Oh no. Now you knew exactly where this was going.  

“’f course you understand that we can’t take such a trip with a one-year-old child.” Ben widened his eyes at Rami’s words. He was starting to understand too.

“So we wanna ask you”, Lucy started saying but she was interrupted by Rami. “We beg you.”

“Yeah”, Lucy nodded. “We beg you to take care of Sophie as we’re away. You guys are the only ones we trust.”

“Shit, man”, Ben murmured as he slipped his fingers through his hair. It was something he did when he was nervous. Right now he was extremely nervous and you just couldn’t believe what’d you just heard.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Lucy narrowed her brows in worry. “Y/N, please. You know we cant trust our parents.”

“And we can’t trust Joe”, Rami added. Sophie limited herself to follow your conversation with a curious look.

You, on the other hand, still had to process their request. So you turned towards Ben only to find himself staring at you, horrified. “I’m sorry”, he said by picking his tongue out, licking his lower lip. “I’d love to do that. Really, I’d love to. But with her?”

“Oh so you don’t believe I’d be able to take care of a child?”

“I highly doubt it, yes. Let’s face the truth, ‘kay? We can barely stand each other.”

“And so what? It’s Sophie we are talking about.” You forced yourself to keep your tone low not to scare the child.

Ben exhaled deeply and quietly murmured something, so you moved your gaze back to the couple. “I’ll do it.” Now it was personal — you had to show that prick that you could take care of a baby, differently than he thought. With or without him.

Lucy’s smile was still uncertain as she looked at Ben. He seemed conflicted as he rubbed his hands, looking at you first and then at Sophie. His shoulders rise and lower as he sighed deeply, starting to nod his head ‘yes’. “Yeah, I’ll do it, too.”

Rami let out a relief laugh and he placed a kiss on Sophie’s head. Trying to ignore Ben, you stood up from the couch and leaned towards the baby. “Come to auntie, Soph.”

The baby reached up to you and you gladly picked her up, meeting Lucy’s eyes while doing so. “I owe you one.”

She surely did.

“Auntie Y/N will take care of you as mommy and daddy are away”, you whispered as you smiled back at her.

Sophie’s attention was caught by something behind you, her eyes widening in excitement. You knew who she was looking at even before turning around. It was crystal clear that Sophie loved Ben almost as much as he did. He gently caressed her cheek with a sweet smile on his face. “Hi, love.”

“Don’t make me regret it.” Your words were nothing but a whisper as you talked to Ben.

His jaw clenched as he fixed his green eyes on yours. “Sophie’s our priority now.”

“Yeah, exactly”, you said quietly. “So work your shit out.”

“Hey, Soph. What a bad aunt is auntie Y/N, right? She even swears in front of you.”

You rolled your eyes at Ben’s words and, making sure that Sophie wasn’t looking at you, you mouthed “Fuck off.”

Day One - Monday

Part of the deal was to move at Lucy and Rami’s place for the entire duration of their trip. It was mostly because you didn’t want Sophie to feel completely disoriented as her parents were away.

You murmured a series of “Huh-huh”, “‘kay” and “Yeah” as Lucy showed you were to find the diapers, the baby bath tub, the meals and the toys. She even revealed you a tip on how to calm her down when she was nervous.

Turns out that Sophie loved the noise of the kitchen hood.

For the whole time Ben chatted with Rami in the dining room, giving a look at Sophie sleeping in the playpen every now and then, and you truly hoped that he’d have given you some help in this. Things presaged nothing good.

“I’ll FaceTime you every night”, Lucy promised.

“You already said that.”

“The emergency numbers are on the kitchen peninsula.”

“I know, Luce. You showed me.” Your words came muffled at her ears as you hugged her. “Do I have your permission to kick Ben in the balls if he misbehaves?”

“You behave.” Lucy wiggled her nose as she giggled and turned towards Rami, who was standing right next to her.

He leaned towards you to give you a hug and he whispered to your hear “You have my permission.”

His words made you giggle and you gained a glaring from Ben. “What?”

“You smell of baby puke.”

You held back a middle finger as you waved at Lucy and Rami who were now walking away.

As their car disappeared from your sight, you silently closed the front door, trying not to wake Sophie up, and then turned towards Ben. “What?”, he asked by raising a brow in a questioning look.

“We need a schedule.”

Ben slowly blinked, giving you a confused look. “’m sorry?”

“Come with me.”

Five minutes later you were both sitting at the stools of the peninsula, one facing the other, with a beer on one hand and the awareness that it was going to be a very long week.

Ben took a sip of his drink as you twirled a marker between your fingers, looking at the blank white board. “Hopefully we’re gonna make it before Sophie turns two”, he commented with a smirk.

Half an hour. You’d been in his presence for half an hour and you already wanted to punch him. Nevertheless you ignored his comment, starting to write on the board as you said without looking at him “I work three days a week: Monday, Wednesday and Friday from eight to twelve. This means that you’ll have to take care of Sophie all by yourself.”

When you looked up at him, his brows were narrowed. “What now?”, you asked in annoyance.

“I want free days, too.”

“I don’t have free days.”

“Yeah, but you go to work. Those ones count as free days.”

Sighing deeply helped you to keep calm. “Okay, then. What do you suggest?”

“Sunday night.”

“I’m not spending a Sunday night all by myself, Ben.”

His smirk was a hint on what his next comment was going to be. “I’m pretty sure that you spent lots of Saturday nights all by yourself, love. When was the last time you got laid?”

“Mind your own business”, you immediately replied.

Ben giggled at your reply and you tried not to stare at his lips as he took another sip of his beer. “And what if I don’t take any other free days? Only this Saturday night.”

His suggestion was reasonable — you bit your lower lip as you thought about it, narrowing your eyes. Why’d he do something like that?

That’s what you asked him. “Why?”

He limited himself to shrug at your question. Not that you were expecting an answer from him. “Fine, then. You got this Saturday night.”

A few moments of silence passed as you wrote on the board and the marker made a shrill sound at every word. “We didn’t think this through.”

Here we go again.

You couldn’t help but throw at him an annoyed glance, sighing deeply as you placed your elbows on the counter and leaned towards him. “Ben.”

“Share the place, both sleep-deprived? ’t sounds like a compelling psych experiment.”

“We cannot draw back now, ‘kay? We’re pretty deep in this.”

His green eyes stared at you for a few moments, still processing your words. It wasn’t a problem of yours if he had an issue with you. Both of you had agreed to do that — how could you say no to Rami and Lucy?

Ben exhaled deeply and leaned towards the back of the chair, moving his gaze away from you. You’d won the argument for now.

There were lots of other things to plan and to write down on the whiteboard and you were about to say it when a little squeak, followed by a little crying caught both yours and Ben’s attention. He gave you a disoriented look and you hurried to stand up, leaving the board still unfinished as you moved in the other room.

“Hi, honey. Hey.” Sophie was standing on the playpen, her beautiful eyes a bit teary.

Ben’d followed you to the room. “Hey, look at the sleepyhead.”

His expression had completely changed — he seemed another person when talking to Sophie and you could barely believe he was the same man who’d earlier told you you smelled like baby puke. Sophie reached up to him and he was about to walk towards her, but you placed a hand on his shoulder and said “Wait, don’t pick her up.”

His brows narrowed in confusion. “Why?”

“Because she needs to learn how to self-soothe.” Ben looked at you like if you were mad.

“She needs to what?” His yes were narrowed and they seemed even darker than usual.

“Self-soothe”, you repeated. “Soothe herself.”

Ben stuck out his tongue and gestured towards you. “And why’d she do that?”

“I read it, Ben. It’s important. Let’s just give it a minute.”

The way he shook his head made you believe that he thought you were nuts; nevertheless, he did as you said. So you were both standing right in front of the playpen, waiting for Sophie to calm down all alone.

But she didn’t, so an idea came up to your mind. “Five little ducks went out one day, over the hill and far away”, you started to sing in an uncertain voice. You looked at Ben with the corner of your eye and he had an amused smile on his face. “Mother duck said, ‘Quack, quack, quack, quack’ but only four little ducks came back.”

“One, two, three, four. Four little ducks went out one day...” Ben’d started to sing along with you as you tried to impress Sophie with your dance moves. “I don’t remember it”, he whispered to you.

Sophie wasn’t particularly impressed by your singing skills, given that she was still softly crying. The sight of her teary eyes’d become unbearable so — unlike what you’d told Ben — you leaned towards her and picked her up. “I think she’s hungry. Yup, I’m gonna feed her. Let’s go eat, love.”

“I though we weren’t picking her up!”, you heard Ben saying as you walked away.

Day Two - Tuesday

Sophie’d fallen asleep in your arms. Her beautiful blonde hair made her seem angelic as she dreamed and you gently grazed her cheek. You didn’t want her to wake up because of you, but it was impossible not to caress her when se looked so peaceful.

Eventually you forced yourself to let her sleep in peace and you decided to get some work done. You’d been highlighting titles over titles for an hour when you heard the front door unlocking.

Shortly after Ben came into your view and you placed a finger on your lips, silently telling him not to wake Sophie up. His eyes immediately went to the baby sleeping in your arms and his features relaxed at that view. Then he looked up at you with an expression that you’d never seen in his face. Not when he looked at you.

But he quickly looked away, carrying the bags into the kitchen before joining you in the dining room.

He sat far from you, but on the same couch. You could feel his gaze following your movements as you tried to get your work done, and when you looked at him you noticed a strand of golden hair that had fallen on his forehead.

“What you up to?” His words were nothing but a whisper.

You gave a quick look at Sophie before turning your gaze to him. “Some paperwork.”

“Right, work.” His tone made you narrow your brows.

And even though the grey sweater that he was wearing made you feel things, you ignored those feelings and asked “Why did you say it with such irony?”

“You run a bookstore.” As if it was an explanation.

“And what with that?”

If Ben’d realised that his words might’ve hurt you, he didn’t show it. “It’s a bookstore.”

“I love my job, you asshole.”

Then you suddenly realised that Ben was just teasing you. The little smirk on his face couldn’t be misunderstood. “Language, love. Last thing we need is Sophie’s first word to be ‘asshole’.”

You shook your head in amusement and even though you were trying so hard not to, your gaze fell to his lips. It’d happened many times for you to think about his lips, how soft they seemed to be. Usually Ben’d dampen those moment with a jab of his or a perv comment just to drive you nuts. But not this time.

“Ben?”

By hearing your whispers Ben moved his gaze from your lips to your eyes. “Yeah?”

You didn’t want to ruin the moment, but you did it anyways. “Do you smell that?”

His brows narrowed in confusion. You nodded towards Sophie, who was still sleeping peacefully, and Ben leaned towards the baby to sniff on her. “Oh my God.” His face twitched in disgust and he quickly leaned back.

“Did she finally—“

“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she... She sure did.” The expression on his face was hilarious.

“Ben”, you said with an amused smile.

When he turned towards you, in his face there still was a disgusted expression. “What?”

“Don’t be a pussy. It’s just poop.” Ben sighed and you giggled.

But then it was time for you to change her diaper. Sophie laid in the changing table, looking at the two of you with a little smile on her face. The problem was, neither of you had the courage to face all that poop. “Remind me again why we agreed on this”, you whispered.

Ben gave you the typical ‘what’d I say?’ look but said “Because we are great friends and now Rami and Lucy owe us a big one.”

“And because we love Sophie”, you added.

Ben slowly nodded at your words, a tiny smile appearing on his face. “Yeah, we love this little one.”

“And because uncle Benny’s the best”, you started by taking a step away from him. “He’s gonna be the one to change your diaper. Right, Sophie? Isn’t he the best?”

“What?”

“Oh c’mon, Ben.”

Ben threw his hands in the air. “Why me?”

“Why me?”

Ben sighed again. “Let’s make a team effort, ‘kay?”

You just couldn’t say no when he showed you his puppy eyes. Bastard. “Fine”, you gave up. “I’ll undress her.”

As you unbuttoned her bodysuit, Sophie gave you a big smile. “You’re lucky I love you”, you whispered to her and you heard Ben giggle behind you.

When she was finally free from her leotard, you turned towards Ben. “Your turn.”

“Already?”

“Yeah, already. C’mon.”

He stood right next to you. “It’s a weird smell, right?”

“Why do you always complain? Go ahead.”

“Fine, fine. It can’t be that hard, can it?” He gave you a hopeful look and you giggled.

“It’s something you can take off the checklist”, you said as you tried to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah.” He carefully approached his hands on the diaper but it was crystal clear the fact that he had no idea how to do it.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know. It’s not a bra that I’m taking off a girl, it’s a diaper.” The way he underlined the last words made you laugh.

“It’s not a surgery, just undo the tabs.”

Ben’s hands, so big compared to the little Sophie, were now following your instructions. As soon as the tabs were undone and Sophie was finally free from the dirty diaper, the smell came to you even stronger than before. “Oh my God.”

“What’d I tell you?”, Ben asked with a disgusted expression.

“It’s burning my eyes.”

“We have to clean her up.”

“Yeah, I know.” Trying not to throw up, you quickly took Ben’s place. “Can you please me hand me the baby wipes?”

As you gently held Sophie’s feet up not to dirty her and to clean her better, you hurried to get rid of all that smelling poop. “She didn’t eat enough to produce that”, Ben commented as he watched you.

“Stop it or I’ll throw up.” You gave him a quick look from above your shoulder and Ben smiled back at you. “Another one, please.”

Wiper after wiper, you finally managed to get her clean. Yours and Ben’s reaction did nothing but amuse Sophie, who was giggling with the biggest smile on her face. “Are you having fun, huh?”

“She’s as wit as her mother”, Ben whispered.

After getting rid of the dirty diaper and having Sophie clean and fragrant, you picked her up from the changing table. “What do you say, Sophie? You want uncle Ben?”

“Didn’t hear that”, Ben tried to cut himself off.

“I did hear it, though. Go to uncle Ben, my love.” Sophie reached up to him and Ben grabbed her, giving her the biggest smile you’d ever seen. As you tried to tidy up the room, you heard Ben saying as he walked away “Say Uncle Ben. It’s easy, love. B-e-n.”

Day three - Wednesday

The house was silent. Too silent. That’s why you tried to close the front door as quietly as possible — maybe Sophie was sleeping. Or maybe Ben was. All the bags and books you took home from work were long forgotten on the table as you checked every room of the ground floor to find them.

As you walked upstairs the theme song of Peppa Pig came crystal clear to your ears. It was the hint you needed to know exactly where they were.

“Wow, that was a really good episode.” Who was Ben talking to?

But, more importantly, was he really talking about Peppa Pig?

“Y’know, what I really love about Peppa is that even when everything seems to go wrong and they scr— blow, they blow things up, this funny man keeps saying ‘Oh dear’ or ‘Look out’.” His words made you giggle but you tried not to make any noise.  “Auntie Y/N should follow my example, don’t you think? I’m such a good uncle, right Soph?”

You were now standing against the doorframe, watching Ben sprawled on the soft ottoman as he talked to Sophie in a very serious tone, gesturing towards her. The little girl seemed to follow his conversation, letting out little squeaks of excitement every now and then.

“Too bad that aunt Y/N is way better than you.”

Ben turned towards you by hearing your words and gave you a lazy smile. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to hear you talking about Peppa Pig. Oh dear!”

You loved to tease him.

“Oh, shut up.” Despite his words, Ben was smiling in amusement.

You took a few steps towards the baby, kneeling in front of her. “Hi, love. How did uncle Ben treat you, uh? Was he good?”

“I’m the best. Look at her, she’s ecstatic.” Sophie squeaked in excitement, trying to say something as she proved Ben’s point.

“What do you think of a bath? Would you like that?”

Once again, Sophie mumbled some incomprehensible words. They made sense to her, though. “Is that a yes?”, you asked Ben, who limited himself to shake his head as if saying ‘I really have no idea.’

Not being able to decipher Sophie’s words, you took them as a yes. Sophie was now in Ben’s arms as you prepared everything to bath her. Every now and then you threw them a few looks from above your shoulder only to find Ben being completely focused on her, trying to make her giggle by tickling her.

“How was work?”, he asked you as you both waited for the tub to fill up.

You bit your lower lip and gave him an amused look. “Oh, now you care?”

“I was just trying to make conversation”, he quickly replied and shrugged.

His words made you sigh deeply, shutting the faucet and checking the water temperature. “’t was fine, I guess. A bit exhausting. Thanks for asking.”

Sophie loved water. Literally, she loved it. She got all excited when taking a bath and started to spray the water everywhere. Needless to say that both you and Ben were soaking wert as you tried to clean her up. “C’mon, Soph. Just wait for a second”, you almost begged.

“Where the hell is the bloody duck she loves so much”, Ben murmured as he looked for the toy everywhere in the bathroom.

“Language, Ben.”

Ben laughed. Hard. It was probably the first time you heard him laughing like that and you loved that sound. “That’s rich coming from you.”

You mimicked him and gave him a look as you held Sophie. He was sticking out his tongue like he used to do, a proud smile on his face as he held Sophie’s duck. “Look what uncle Ben found, love.”

Sophie became even more excited at the sight of her toy, trying to take it from Ben’s hands when he came closer to you. “Would you hold her? I need to remove all the foam with the shower head.”

He didn’t hesitate to answer “Yeah, sure.” So he gently grabbed her and lifted her, holding her far from his body as he waited for you to wash her.

“Look, Sophie. Uncle Ben’s afraid of getting wet.” If Sophie protested when Ben got her out of the tub, now she was relaxing under the jet of the water.

“I’m already wet.” Dangerous choice of words.

“Then”, you started in an angelic tone. “You wouldn’t mind if I did this, right?” You splashed a bit of water in his face.

Ben was tempted to retract from the jet but Sophie needed to be cleaned. So he bit his lower lip and said in an amused tone “You’re lucky I’m holding the baby.”

“Or what?”

You giggled at the look he gave you and you wrapped Sophie in her bathrobe, taking her from Ben’s arms and holding her close to your chest. “You can’t revenge now. I’m holding the baby.”

“I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

You gently rubbed Sophie’s back, leaving a few kisses on her cheeks as you told Ben “Nice movie quote.”

Day Four - Thursday

“Okay, Sophie. I’m almost done, hold on.” The baby food you’d lovingly prepared for the little girl looked nothing like Lucy’s. It tasted good, though. You made sure of it before taking a seat in front of her, ready to feed her.

“She’s not a food critic, she’s a one-year-old”, Ben commented as he watched you. He was leaning against the stool, his arms crossed in his chest as he gave you a sceptic look. Each passing day did nothing but confirm you that he only wore black. The dark hoodie he was wearing was a proof of that.

“She might not be a food critic but sure as hell she doesn’t like my cooking.” And it was true — no matter how much you tried to make her open her mouth and eat her food, she just wouldn’t. “C’mon, Soph. It tastes so good, you’ll love it.”

Ben loudly giggled from where he was standing. “She had the guts to tell you that your cooking sucks.”

“My cooking is amazing. You ate almost half of the roast beef that day at the party”, you protested.

Ben raised a brow. “Did you cook it?”

“’f course I did.” You tried again to feed Sophie but all you managed to do was to get her dirty. You groaned in frustration and sighed deeply.

Five seconds later your attention was caught by the ringing of Ben’s phone. He took it from his pocket and gave a look at the screen before moving his green eyes on you. You raised your brow in a silent question and he bit his lips, walking out of the room and getting the phone out in the backyard.

Sophie finally ate the first spoonful of her meal and as you slowly fed her, your mind started to run wild. Who was he talking to? Was it one of his dates? But then you convinced yourself that it was none of your business.

“Good girl, Soph. Do you like it? Is it good?”, you whispered as you wiped her mouth. Sophie clapped her hands in excitement and it made you genuinely smiled. “Where’s mommy? Say mommy. Mommy”, you repeated slowly for her to understand.

A few minutes had passed before Ben came back into the room. “Did she eat?”

“Just a little bit”, you replied without looking at him.

“She doesn’t like your cooking for real, huh?” Ben was just teasing you but, for a reason that you didn’t know yet, you were pissed at him.

So as you put away the plate on the sink you limited to say “Huh-huh.”

“Y/N?” As you heard him calling you by your name you gave him a quick look. His brows were narrowed in a frown.

“What?”

“What’s wrong?” It was probably the first time that Ben was concerned about you.

You sighed and you turned towards him, drying your hands. “Let’s establish a rule.”

“What rule?” He gave you a confused look.

“The week’s almost over. Let’s spend it peacefully.”

He gestured with his hand while saying “Is that the rule?”

You were starting to get used to the tiny lines forming around his eyes whenever he narrowed them in a confused expression. “No. The rule is that we don’t get to bring dates here in this house. Not around Sophie. I know it’s hard for you to hold on for a whole week, but you’ve got this Saturday night off.”

It was for Sophie’s sake, right?

“Wha— is it because of the phone call?”

You shrugged. “Maybe.”

Ben quickly rubbed his eyes, taking a step towards you. “It was Joe.”

Oh.

You stuttered before saying “It’s the principle that matters.”

“Fine. No dates here.”

A nod is all you gave him as a confirmation before turning towards Sophie. Giving her a better look you said “Ben.”

“Hum?” He followed your gaze to the kid and his eyes widened. “She’s making the look.”

“Yeah, that’s the look”, you confirmed. Not shortly after Sophie started to cry. Loudly and uncontrollably. “Your turn”, you told Ben as you stepped aside.

You heard him sighing as he picked her up, rocking her gently on his chest as he tried to soothe her. “C’mon, be good for uncle Ben”, he whispered as he started to walk around the room.

Your gaze ran over the kitchen and it fell on the hood. “I’ve got an idea.”

Ben limited himself to give you a questioning look and you gestured towards the hood. Still, he didn’t understand. Right, he wasn’t with you when Lucy told you that Sophie loved the noise of the hood. “C’mere”, you whispered as you turned on the extractor fan.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, but he did as you told him.

Now Sophie was softly crying and you tapped Ben on his shoulder, making him sign to lean closer to the hood. The kid’s attention was immediately caught by the noise. Even though she’d stopped crying, her eyes were still a bit teary. It was working.

“Rock her”, you whispered.

Ben looked at you. His green eyes were fixed on yours and you suddenly realised that you were close. Maybe too close. Your chest was touching his arm and his face was just a few inches away from yours. Once again your gaze fell to his lips and for the first time you didn’t care if you were staring at him.

But then Ben cleared his voice and moved his gaze to Sophie. As he gently rocked her he started to sing in a soft voice, trying to get her to sleep “But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.”

You had to cover your mouth not to burst out into laughter. “What are you doing?”

“Everybody loves Radiohead.”

Day Five - Friday

“You went groceries literally three days ago. I can’t believe you forgot all this stuff”, you complained as looked at the shelves.

The three of you had gotten in the supermarket not even fifteen minutes ago and your shopping cart was already full. “’s not like I know what’s on Lucy and Rami’s pantry.”

Ben was pushing the cart without paying attention to what you put in it — his eyes were for Sophie only. She was in a good mood and Ben did nothing but improve the situation by playing with her.

“Does she like peaches?” You gave him a quick look from above your shoulder.

Ben was in a good mood, too, given that he gave you a big smile. Maybe you should go often together to the grocery store.

“Why don’t you ask her?”, he proposed.

Opening a jar of peach jelly, you made her smell it. She wiggled her nose in a disgusted expression and she shook her head. “You don’t like it, huh?”

“Huh-huh”, she replied and her expression made you giggle.

“Told you”, Ben said. “She’s as wit as her mother.”

Sophie smelled at least other three other flavours before picking her favorite — apricot. “Really? Apricot?”

“Apricots are a gift from God.” Ben’s words surprised you.

You had a stupid smile on your face as you said “D’ya like them?”

“I love them.” He underlined the word ‘love’ and you shook your head in amusement.

“Y/N?” Hearing that someone was calling you by your name, you turned your back to Ben to face the stranger.

“Nick?” One of your friends from college — whom you hadn’t seen in forever — was standing right in front of you.

“Wow, I thought I was wrong”, you heard him saying as he hugged you.

You couldn’t tell why, but you felt uncomfortable.

“It’s me”, you said with a nervous smile.

Nick’s gaze moved behind you and you followed him. “Is she—?”

“Huh?”

Nick cleared his voice. “Is she your daughter?”

“Wha— no! No, no. Ehm, she’s Lucy’s. And he’s Ben.”

“His husband”, Ben added with a polite smile.

You parted your lips in a confused expression as he shook Nick’s hand. “He’s not—”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence that Ben asked him “College mates, right?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah. Haven’t seen each other in forever, though.”

“Yeah”, you confirmed. The truth was that you were still trying to process Ben’s lie.

“How long have you guys been married? I didn’t know anything about it.”

Ben smirked at Nick’s question. He moved next to you and put his arm around your shoulders, giving you the biggest smile you’d ever seen on his face. His cologne smelled so good that it almost made you forget his lie.

Did he want to play that game? Fine by you.

As he held you close to him, your arm surrounded his hips and you faked a smile. “Oh, just for a few months. It was a small ceremony”, Ben said with a fake smile and you pinched him. A low, deep groan came from his throat but your actions had the opposite effect you wanted to provoke.

Ben was amused.

Even though Nick was still there, you’d almost forgotten about him. “Oh, it sounds so cool. I’m so happy about you guys.”

Thankfully you both didn’t get the chance to answer him because Sophie started to squeak in excitement at the sight of a dog. You took the chance to slip away from Ben’s grip and you approached the kid as you said to Nick with an apologetic smile “’m sorry, Nick. We’re kinda in a hurry. It was nice seeing you again.”

As Nick walked away you nudged Ben. “Idiot. C’mon, push the cart.”

“Don’t be such a bossy, wifey.”

You playfully pushed him away when he tried to come closer to you and then you asked “What was that?”

Ben smirked. “I was just making sure you wouldn’t bring any dates home.”

Since when Lucy and Rami’s place had become home?

Even though you’d spent the last week together, the grocery store gave you the opportunity to fin out new things about him. Like the fact that he likes cereal with no milk or thwart he would gladly mop the floor a hundred times rather than loading the dishwasher.

Once gotten home, you also found out that he hated making two trips while carrying the bags. And he made it very clear by complaining the whole time.

“What do you want for dinner?”, you asked as you hoped you were guessing right where to put all the food you’d bought.

Ben was taking care of Sophie as you tidied the pantry. His voice came muffled as he proposed from the other room “How about we order a pizza?”

“Yeah, fine.”

Where the hell did Lucy put the mayonnaise?

You were still trying to unload the groceries in the kitchen when you heard Ben’s voice. “Y/N?”

The tone of his voice made you worry. “Yeah?”

“She’s walking.” Maybe you misheard him.

“What?”

“She’s walking!”

The bags forgotten right in the middle of the kitchen almost made you stumble as you hurried to move to the dining room. Ben had his back to you, his arms arms stretched out towards the baby.

Sophie was standing on her own feet and a big smile was printed on her face. “Oh my God she’s walking.”

Ben gave you a quick look by hearing your whispers and you noticed a big, enthusiastic smile on his face. He was genuinely happy and for the first time ever the idea of Ben as a dad didn’t seem too abstract.

“Come to auntie, Soph. Come.” Her attention was caught by you and Ben quickly moved behind her, ready to catch her if she fell.

Step by step, Sophie came to you and hugged you with so much love that you almost cried. You couldn’t help but kiss her and as you still held her in your arms you told Ben “FaceTime Lucy. She’ll kill us if she misses it.”

Five minutes later, the three of you sat on the carpet and Lucy was waving at you with a toothy smile on her face. “Hi my love! Hi Sophie!”

“Where’s Rami?”, Ben asked her. He didn’t want his friend to miss it.

“Ugh”, Lucy gave a quick look behind her, probably looking for his husband. “He’s probably taking a shower. How are you guys? How’s my baby?”

“We’re fine. But you gotta take a look at this.” You just couldn’t hold the excitement in your tone. Lucy was beyond excited at your words — you could see it from her eyes. “Just wait a sec.”

Ben stood up as you gave him a pat on the shoulder and he moved right in front of you, far enough for Sophie to take a few steps on her own. The camera was now turned towards him, showing his arms stretched out towards the baby. “Come to uncle Ben, Sophie. C’mere”, he encouraged her.

Lucy narrowed her brows. “Y/N what—”

“Just wait”, you cut her off. “C’mon, Soph. Go to uncle Ben.”

Sophie’s eyes gave you an excited look and she clapped her hands. She slowly leaned towards the sofa, holding on it as she struggled to get on her own feet. When she finally did, Lucy’s eyes were widened and her lips were forming a perfect ‘O’ before whispering “Oh my God.”

When Sophie started to take little steps towards Ben — who’d the biggest smile on his face as he made sure Sophie wouldn’t fall — Lucy said out loud “Rami! For the love of God, Rami! Come here!”

Her excited tone made you chuckle and you heard a loud thud from the other side of the call. Ben heard it too and gave you a quick, confused look before moving his gaze back to the baby.

Rami was now standing right next to Lucy, his hair wet and his eyes widened in confusion. But then he saw his daughter walking on her own feet and he looked at Lucy with so much love that it almost made you cry.

Inevitably your gaze fell to Ben, who was now hugging Sophie and whispering “You did really good, love. You did great.”

The sight of a sweet, soft Ben made you think about your situation. Maybe, after all, spending all that time together had improved your relationship. Or maybe you were just fantasising.

Day Six - Saturday

It’d been a hell of a night. Sophie cried for most of it and it was impossible for you to understand why, given that she still couldn’t talk. Both you and Ben tried to calm her down with anything, but not even the hood kicked in.

Eventually she fell asleep at 8AM and as she rested peacefully in her bedroom, you realised you might as well stay awake. As you were about to make you a coffee, you heard footsteps approaching you.

Ben was rubbing his sleepy eyes, trying to force himself to stay awake. His hair was messier than usual and the shirt he used as pjs was wrinkled.

“Did you check on her?”, you asked in a low tone. To be honest, you felt like shit.

He cleared his voice and nodded his head ‘yes’, taking a seat on the stool of the peninsula. “She’s sleeping.” His tone was just as low as yours.

Sophie had worn you both out.

“Would you like a coffe?”

By giving him a look from above his shoulder, you noticed he was nodding. “Yeah, thanks.”

Five minutes later you were sitting one right in front of the other, just like the very first day. This time he hadn’t the strength to throw jabs at you, though.

“Thank god it’s Saturday.” His sea-glass eyes stared at you for a few seconds.

The hotness of the cup of coffee was warming you cold hands. “Yeah. We did it, right?”

“Yeah... but I’m never doing it again.”

You narrowed your brows at his tone. “Why?”

Ben gave you a condescending look. “If you haven’t noticed, running a baby’s not like running a bookstore.”

“Are we back at it again?”, you asked in an annoyed tone.

Ben started to gesture. “They’re a mess. They pee on things. They bite and they poop a lot.”

“They’re babies.”

And then Ben snapped. You knew that sooner or later he would’ve, because it was Ben we’re talking about. “I had plans this week. Business meetings. I gave up everything to give you a hand with it and play this part.”

“I never asked you to do it! I never asked for your help. And ‘play this part’? Are you serious, Ben? That’s what this is to you?” Hopefully Sophie wouldn’t wake up. As much as you were both trying to keep your tone low, you were in the middle of an argument.

“We’re living in the same house, watching over a kid that isn’t ours and we’re acting like we’re married but we are not.”

“So you’ve been pretending, huh. Have you been pretending with Sophie?” Bet stuck his tongue out, slipping his fingers through his hair as he usually did when he was nervous or upset. And right now he was both. “No, I love Sophie.”

“So just me, then.” It was destroying you the fact that your words sounded like a whine, but you were hurt.

Ben narrowed his brows in a confused expression and his lips parted. “Y/N—“

“You know what, Ben? I shouldn’t have said yes. I should’ve known that you and I aren’t the ideal pairing to take care of a baby. I knew we weren’t a good pairing at all when you left me alone in my fucking car two years ago.” You finally had the chance to tell him how much he hurt you when he screwed up your first blind date. He had to know how much it had influenced your relationship.

“It’s been two years ago!” He threw his arms in the air.

“Yeah, and look at us now. You could’ve just told me you didn’t feel like it, but no. You had to be a dick.”

“’m sorry if I didn’t feel like going to a blind date a month after I broke up with my long-term girlfriend.” Now he was being sarcastic.

And now you were really mad. “How the fuck was I supposed to know!” Your tone was higher than you expected so you took a deep breath to calm down, not wanting to wake Sophie up. “It was my first date in a year. I never let Lucy set me up for dates but for the first time I did. I did and I regret it. Look how it ended up.”

“I told Rami not to do it.”

“I don’t care, Ben. You could’ve managed it better. All you did instead was calling another girl as you were with me, because all you care about is getting laid.” Even though your tone was low, your words were ice cold.

Ben slowly shook his head, his hurt expression quickly replaced by the one you knew so well. “You shouId get Iaid yourself. Except to have sex, you gotta find somebody who can stand you first.”

“Fuck you.”

“Yeah”, he muttered as he stood up.

“You know what? Take all the fucking Saturday as your free day because I can’t even stand looking at you right now.”

And he did. The day went by and Ben hadn’t come back yet. You were trying to convince yourself that you could do it on your own for another day. Sophie seemed to understand that your mood wasn’t one of the best and she behaved like she never did before. She even ate all her meal, which was new to you.

Lucy called at some stage in the evening and she showed you the amazing architecture of Florence. It seemed like they were having a good time and there was no point in making them worry, so you didn’t even mention Ben.

But she did. “Where’s Ben?”

You rubbed your nose, trying to find a believable excuse for his absence. “He went to the grocery’s.”

“How many groceries are you guys buying? It looks like you spend whole days at the mall.”

“No, uh — we ran out of ketchup. We’re having burgers tonight, ketchup is essential.”

She seemed to notice that something was wrong — here brows were narrowed and her eyes were giving you a condescending look. Yet, she didn’t say anything and you closed the call a few minutes after.

It was night by now and Sophie was finally sleeping. You, on the other hand, just couldn’t fall asleep. That’s why you spent almost half an hour channel surfing, ending up watching Love Island. In extremis...

But then the click of the look caught your attention and even though you hadn’t yet turned towards the front door, you knew it was Ben. His cologne couldn’t have been mistaken.

You gave him a quick look from above your shoulder only to meet his beautiful, puppy eyes. Even though you were still pissed at him, you couldn’t keep ignoring your feelings.

He sat right next to you, remaining quiet for the first few seconds. It was him who broke the silence. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said those things” you whispered as you turned towards him.

His elbows were resting on his thighs as he rubbed his hands together. “You were right, I’ve been a prick. I should’ve talked to you back then. You would’ve understood the situation.”

“Yeah...”

“And I’m sorry I’ve been distant all this time. I knew I fucked things up that day in your car and when I realised it I... it was too late. I just wanted you to like me back, but you wouldn’t have. Not after how I treated you.”

“But I did! I still do, Ben.”

And it was the truth. No matter how many times you’ve tried to convince yourself that you despised him and that you just didn’t get along. You liked him.

His green eyes were staring at your lips for the umpteenth time that week, but this time was different because Ben placed his own on yours. His hand was resting on your neck and the softness of his touch gave you the goosebumps. When you leaned towards him to deepen the kiss, his touch became even more secure as he come closer to you.

You’d fantasised many times on how it’d feel to kiss Ben, but now that you were really doing it, it exceeded all expectations.

When you leaned back from his lips, a big smile appeared on his face. One of the smiles he reserved for Sophie only. You snuggled against him, his arm surrounding your waist as he kept your body close to yours.

There were tons of situations yet to be clarified, but you both stood quiet for the rest of the night, bodies close but hearts even closer.

Day Seven — Sunday

Last day. On one hand you were sorry to leave Sophie — you’d gotten used to her habits and rhythms, but on the other hand you couldn’t wait to go back to your old life. 

Scratch that.

You couldn’t wait to go back to your new life with Ben.

“You done? They’re almost here”, Ben told you as he held Sophie.

As you put the duck away, the one that Sophie loved so much and that drove you insane, you nodded your head ‘yes’. “Yeah. The house should be okay.”

And now the three of you were waiting on the porch for Lucy and Rami to come home. Sophie was beyond excited to meet her parents again and she showed it by walking around the house. Ben had to follow her everywhere, given that she wasn’t still 100% steady on her feet.

“Here they are!”, you told Sophie who was walking around the dining room. “Mom and daddy are here, Soph!”

She clapped her hands, making Ben chuckle as he accompanied her to the front door where you were standing. His green eyes met yours as a loud thud came from Lucy and Rami’s car, who were now shutting the doors and hurrying inside.

Lucy’s eyes immediately went to her daughter, who was standing on her own feet right in front of you. She hugged her, kissed her and held her close to her chest as she whispered lovely words. Rami left a soft kiss on her head before looking up to you and Ben.

When he noticed that you were standing right next to each other with bigs smiles on your faces, he narrowed his eyes and smirked. “What did I miss?”

“Uhm — nothing, really.” But the look Ben gave you made you chuckle. Rami was more than sure that he missed a lot, especially when Ben’s arm surrounded your waist.

“Oh wow”, Lucy whispered as she stood up, holding her baby in her arms. “You guys need to fill me in on what happened between you two.”

“Sophie happened”, you said with a sweet smile, looking at the baby who was in awe for her mother.

”Y’know”, Rami started saying. “You’d make great parents. Sophie loves you guys.”

“Yeah”, Ben murmured. “Maybe someday.”

[occasionally-writing]

Lay Here With Me

A/N: Hiya @thewhutnow​! And just so you know for next time, there’s an askbox that is located in the spot that says “Ask Me Anything, Prompts Are Open/Closed” I don’t mind that you submitted an ask through my submissions, but I just thought I should tell you this way since it’s a bit easier XD Anyways, I apologize this took a bit to come out, I was taking a few days off from writing to focus on life outside of tumblr! I’m back though! I really hope you like it <3

Summary: Dean sleeps over Pharm’s and during a movie night, Pharm notices Dean starting to have a nightmare and helps him out of it and reassuring him that he’s with him no matter what. 

Word Count: 1700

Letting out a contented sigh as he turned off the hot water and stepped out of the shower, Dean smiled softly at the towels that were neatly folded on the sink, obviously put there by Pharm so that he had them for when he got out of the shower. Unfolding one, Dean tied it around his waist before he grabbed the second towel, throwing it over his head as he stepped carefully towards the door, not wanting to slip since he was still quite damp. Hearing the door to the bathroom open, Pharm glanced up from where he was putting the leftovers from their dinner away and felt his face grow warm as he took in his boyfriend coming out in nothing but a towel, water droplets sliding down his chest and abdomen. Feeling eyes on him, Dean let his eyes rise from the floor to observe Pharm, letting a smirk rise on his face as he caught the boy eyeing him. Jumping when he realized he was caught staring, Pharm bit back an embarrassed squeak and gathered the leftovers, shoving them into the fridge before the sound of Dean moving around his condo caught his attention, the closet door opening as he pulled out the clothes he had left there from their last sleepover. 

“Do you want me to get dressed in the bathroom?” Dean asked softly, letting his teasing nature dull so that he wouldn’t accidentally make Pharm uncomfortable by dropping the towel right then and there. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Pharm took a deep breath and let it out, meeting Dean’s questioning gaze as he shook his head, feeling a smile lifting his lips when he noticed the way his boyfriend’s eyebrows raised. Clearing his throat, Dean stopped watching Pharm as he moved towards the bed, letting his towel drop from his waist as he used it to dry the rest of his body, not minding the eyes he could feel burning into his body. Leaning against the counter as he couldn’t help but eye his boyfriend, Pharm swallowed the lump in his throat as he finally looked away, not letting his eyes land on Dean again until he saw him coming towards him in his peripheral vision. “It’s getting late, are you ready to go to bed?”

“Uh..y-yeah! Do you think we could watch a movie while we’re in bed though?” Pharm asked softly, not quite feeling tired just yet, his eyes meeting Dean’s. Noticing the hopeful gleam his boyfriend had in his eyes, Dean chuckled and reached out, ruffling Pharm’s hair before he dropped his hand and intertwined their fingers, pulling Pharm towards him so he could press a kiss to his forehead. Feeling a blush staining his cheeks, Pharm grinned and allowed himself to be pulled towards the bed, staying quiet as he observed Dean climbing in first, getting under the covers and settling, opening his arms for Pharm to cuddle into. Feeling his smile grow, Pharm didn’t waste any time getting into bed, snuggling under the covers and squirming closer to Dean, letting out a sigh as his arms wrapped around his body, pulling him closer until their bodies were flushed together. Letting out a cute giggle that had a smile quirking up on Dean’s lips, Pharm handed him the remote to the television. “You can choose the movie, I don’t mind what we watch.”

Nodding softly, Dean turned on Pharm’s TV and began to search, snuggling his face into Pharm’s hair as he looked through Netflix, his eyes looking over all the movie suggestions before he picked out Maleficent. Wrapping his arm around Dean’s waist as he cuddled closer, Pharm kept his eyes on the movie as Dean placed the remote on the bedside table, pulling the blanket higher on the both of them as the beginning credits began to play. Not quite an hour into the movie, Pharm felt himself yawn as the drowsiness of the night began to settle in his mind. Rubbing his eyes, Pharm squirmed a bit and moved his tired gaze up to Dean, a soft smile rising on his face when he noticed Dean passed out, his head laid back against the headboard as his breathing was slow and steady. When did he fall asleep and why didn’t he tell him he was getting tired? Keeping quiet as he let his eyes take in Dean, Pharm felt the soft smile he had on his face turn into a frown when he noticed the slight furrow appear on his boyfriend’s brows, a frown taking over the the once peaceful expression Dean had on his face disappearing as his breathing began to hitch and soft murmurs escaped his lips.  

“P’Dean?” Pharm asked, his voice still hushed as he maneuvered himself around so he could straddle his boyfriend’s legs while facing Dean, a worried noise coming out of his mouth as he heard a whimper left Dean’s wobbling lips. Reaching out, Pharm gently cupped Dean’s face and rubbed his thumbs against his cheeks, pulling him closer so that his ear could be directly over his heart as his fingers rubbed through Dean’s hair. Feelings arms wrap around his waist and drawing him close, Pharm buried his face in Dean’s hair and pressed a kiss to his head, not minding how the arms tightened around him as a shuddery breath came out of Dean’s lips, his mind just beginning to fade out of the nightmare he was having. Pulling away slightly, Pharm cupped Dean’s face once more and stared into his murky eyes, rubbing his thumbs across the slight prickle of tears that were bubbling in his boyfriend’s eyes. Sniffling slightly, Dean swallowed back another hitched breath and squeezed Pharm, burying his face back in his chest as the warmth of his boyfriend’s body reassured him that he was very much alive. “P’Dean…? It’s okay, you’re safe and I’m here. It’s going to be alright.”

“P-Pharm...it’s fine. J-just a terrible nightmare...don’t worry, okay?” Dean whispered, his voice muffled from how he had his face smashed into Pharm’s chest, the arms around his boyfriend’s waist tightening when he felt Pharm squirm a little. Frowning when he heard the slight stutter in Dean’s voice, Pharm shushed him gently and continued to pet his hair, letting Dean hold him for as long as he needed, not moving until he felt Dean’s shuddering breath escape and his boyfriend finally pull away slightly, their eyes meeting as they came face to face. Letting a soft smile rise on his face, Pharm pressed their foreheads together and nuzzled their noses, giggling when it got Dean smiling, even if it was just a little one. Letting out a sigh, Dean tightened his hold on Pharm's shirt as he moved up, pressing their lips together softly, Pharm letting out a small gasp before he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, their bodies growing closer. Pulling away to breathe, Dean chuckled against Pharm’s lips and stared into his eyes, rubbing his hands around Pharm’s back. “It...was that time when we both were struggling...when you uh...had that gun...I was too late to help you and...you uh...yeah”

Knowing what Dean was implying, Pharm let out a sigh and nodded, knowing that he wasn’t the only one traumatized during the time, Dean having to watch him hold a gun to his head and almost pulling the trigger. Even if he wasn’t exactly him at that time, Dean was and Pharm felt so much guilt for putting Dean through that. Brushing his fingers through Dean’s hair again, Pharm pressed a small kiss to Dean’s forehead and sighed, drawing him into a hug that had Dean’s breathing hitch as his face was buried into Pharm’s shoulder. Rubbing at the thin hairs at the base of his neck, Pharm gently rocked them side to side as Dean hugged him tighter, letting the fear of the nightmare he had begin to fade away as he listened to Pharm’s steady heartbeat. Feeling a yawn contract him, Pharm tried to hide it but knew that he wasn’t successful as Dean pulled away and stared into his eyes, his boyfriend’s own gaze looking sleepy. Letting a soft smile rise on his lips, Pharm yelped slightly as Dean squirmed down, holding onto him firmly as he settled back against the mattress, Pharm still on top of him. Reaching for the remote, Dean turned off the television, knowing they could rewatch the movie some other time before he put it back in its place, wrapping his arms around Pharm as he drew the blanket back up on them. 

“Can you sleep like this…? It would make me feel a little better…” Dean asked softly, keeping his eyes open and honest as Pharm observed their position. Letting out a soft hum, Pharm squirmed around a bit as he sighed, nuzzling his face against Dean’s chest as a light blush stained his cheeks, finding that he didn’t mind the position at all as Dean wrapped his arms securely around him and their legs curled around each other. Feeling him relaxing on top of him, Dean sighed and pressed a kiss to Pharm hair, rubbing his back as he closed his eyes, not minding the comfortable silence that developed around the room as they cuddled into each other. Peering up from where his face was against Dean’s chest, Pharm stared at how open Dean’s face was before he wiggled up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, making Dean’s lip quirk up in a small smile and his arms tighten around Pharm’s warm body. “Goodnight Pharm.”

Letting out a soft reply, Pharm nuzzled his face back into Dean’s chest, his eyes fluttering closed as he lost the fight to sleep, his breathing evening out as Dean rubbed his back softly, feeling his boyfriend’s chest moving in a gentle rhythm against his own. Pressing one last soft kiss against Pharm’s hair, Dean let out a soft sigh as he faded into sleep as well, the nightmare he had far away in his mind as he held his warm boyfriend tightly, similar soft smiles on their lips as they fell into a shared peaceful slumber.

[wordstrings]

Inbox dump 

(brace yourselves, I’m including the timestamps because these have been sitting forever and you may literally forget ever having sent one of these because they’re from so long ago 😬)

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Anonymous said: March 11th 2014 *Clears throat* Non-canon verse, uni AU probably *strums guitar and takes a deep breath* DUEEEEE TO A COMPUTING errORRR, dean and gabe are stuck as roomatesssssssss, whilesamandcascanbestucktogethertoo that'snotaneccesitybutitwouldbegreaaaaaaaaattttttttt, and veeery soon it turns into something of a friendship BUT THEEEENNNN dean fights with saaAAAM and gabe is like "dude stop being so upset" aND FLUFF HAPPEeeeeeEEEEEEeens! *stands up and bows* tyvm for accepting debriel though like omg <3

I’ve been rewatching some of Supernatural seasons 5 and 6 this past weekend, and it reminded me how much I love and miss Gabriel. I still maintain that Debriel is a super-underrated ship. The manic-chaos potential is *muah*. (see: #Debriel)

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Anonymous said: August 7th 2018 psst... light back tickles while cuddling in bed are pure™ and wholesome™

Good shit good shit good shit

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Anonymous said: September 19th 2018 I love science and go to public seminars as often as I can. I walked in to the most recent one (which I had picked at random), and it was on the science of tickling. There were demonstrations. There were hand gestures and finger wiggling. There were in depth descriptions of the anatomy and physiology behind ticklish spots. It was legitimately your Amateur Production’s fic, and I was Kevin. Worst of all it was 2 hours long. I think I died during it and my soul was sucked into hell.

Uhhhhhh where can I get a copy of the slide deck?? Asking for a friend. (see: #series: Amateur Production)

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Anonymous said: September 23rd 2018 your art skills have me shook in the best possible way

aaaahh thank you! Fun fact: I went to art school and even took illustration as a concentration area but I’ve hardly drawn anything for like ten years. When I do draw, it’s usually because there are feelings that I don’t wanna do words about. (see: #strings does art)

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Halo!anon said: September 27th 2018 A small, sinful part of Castiel had the urge to gloat. It was somewhat dampened by the fact that Dean was still under the impression that being abducted is peak romance."I can't believe you went out of your way to set up our second date!" He'd squealed, as Castiel tightened his restraints. - little excerpt of a sequel to Date Nights with Demons i had planned for months but abandoned. halo!anon

Your demented version of Demon!Dean is so entertaining 😄 (see: Date Nights with Demons)

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Anonymous said: November 6th 2018 Aaaaah your Gabriel / Kali drabble was adorable, I can't help but love seeing our mighty archangel reduced to a mass of giggles, and you write Gabriel so so well <3. I love your writing your stories always brighten my day ^^

It’s so rare for him to let his guard down, isn’t it? But when he does, he has a grand old time of it. :) (see: this drabble)

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sarah-lou-who said: November 8th 2018 1/4 Boo! The ghost of my online presence in the community is peeking its head in because I need help. I don’t have a platform or following to sound an alarm, so I’m using my platonic tumblr wife’s platform and following for me, because that’s what platonic tumblr wives do. Right? Anyway, I’m very actively fixated on Attack on Titan atm. You know this very well. You also know my predicament. I seem to have exhausted the entire supply of tickly AoT content I’m interested in that exists currently. 2/4 So, if you’re willing to publish these for me, I’m crying out into the vast TFB lands hoping that there’s someone out there to answer the call. I am in desperate need of tickly AoT content. I don’t know if anyone around here writes for it much these days. I haven’t found anyone. And I know beggars can’t be choosers, but it can’t be helped; I really only care if Eren is involved. Even better would be Levi, but I haven’t found ANYTHING involving him, so I feel like asking for that is futile. 3/4 I digress. Even after all this time I can’t keep my asks less than 50 parts long. So my goal here is that someone, somewhere, will by chance come across these, and be able and willing to either write fic of the tickly variety for Eren and/or Levi from Attack on Titan, or direct me to someone who can, if they know a person who knows a person who knows a person. (Sidenote, hi anyone who still remembers me! It’s Sarah, the more ticklish half of Leerah. I’m doing good and I miss you!) 4/4 (I hope you’re all doing well!) Thank you for letting me take advantage of your devoted followers, Strings! Love yaaa!!!

Ah, my platonic tumblr wife Sarah returns! (Digitally, anyway. Reality-wise, we hang out all the time and it’s probably very rude of me to have not published this ask for so long!) I keep teasing her that she has a Type, and that is dark-haired sulky badass who’d probably make a wicked ‘ler – AoT Levi, SPN Cas, FMA Roy, etc. So anyway, if anyone knows of somewhere I can point her to find the content she’s (still) craving, lmk!

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Anonymous said: October 23rd 2019 I’m sorry if this is invasive in any way, but how is Sarah doing? I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a couple years and I see that her blog is now deactivated. I was just wondering if she’s doing alright and if she’s still around here on a different blog maybe?

See above! She doesn’t have a TFB community blog anymore, but she’s doing well. We’re quarantine buddies and helping each other out a lot. Very kind of you to ask! <3

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Anonymous said: December 2nd 2018 Hi, sorry to bother you but do you know what happened to prodigal-anon’s blog? It seems to have been deleted. Sorry again if you’ve been asked this before

No worries, friend! Here’s an answer for you!

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Anonymous said: December 13th 2018 I LOVE THE LOOPY SERIES! I love it so much, is there any chance you’ll be doing a part four? I’d give anything to see Cas and Dean tickle each other, it would be so cute 😍

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t entirely stopped writing... and Loopy 4 is one of those unfinished pieces that has seen a few additions lately. :) I’ve learned not to make promises about when something might get finished and posted, but I genuinely do believe this may be one of the first things that shows up once I’m ‘back in the game.’ Stay tuned... (see: #series: Loopy)

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Anonymous said: January 1st 2019 No no no you can't just stop there! I need more fluffy destiel with tickles and kissing! Pretty please?

I believe this is in response to Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight. Don’t you worry, anon – Dean and Cas are not done being fluffy on this blog!

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1832wasalongtimeago said: January 25th 2019 Hi I just wanted to pop in and say the Maintenance series is amazing!! The second part was doing things to my poor heart I’ve read it like 5 times already. You’re such an amazing writer and thank you fo writing for us!

I’m very flattered, but I can’t take credit for the Of Maintenance series – that’s the lovely work of ask-flip-frost! It does things to my poor heart, too, so you’re in good company. :)

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Anonymous said: January 26th 2019 Sam Winchester can take a lot of things. The one thing he CAN'T take? Someone using baby talk on him when he's being tickled. He collapses into a puddle of helpless giggles faster than a house of cards in a stiff wind.

Precious Sammy just needs to laugh and be held, doesn’t he? <3

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Anonymous said: May 17th 2019 Thor needs tickles. So. Damn. Much.

Oh this was from right after Endgame came out. Thor did make me feel some sads there. :( Poor bab.

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 hi! i’ve read your wonderful fics forever but i’ve never really sent anything like this before so i don’t really know what to say.. but i had a destiel tickly thought and really wanted to share it with somebody, so here goes i guess- dean is taking too long in the shower so cas decides to use his mojo from the other room to speed things along. and listens to dean’s echoey laughs through the door. that’s all. sorry if this is weird! okay bye have a good one

This is not weird and I may have delayed in telling you any of my feelings about it but I definitely have a doc somewhere that has some vague notes about how I’d like to write this because I like it!

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Anonymous said: August 6th 2019 Anhhgff your Good Omens tword fics are so cute snvfddf i never knew I needed that of my favorite husbands till now😳😍

I know, right?! They’re just dying to be dropped into every fluffy situation. (see: #Good Omens)

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 Poking my head in to say hello, hope you’re doing well still! I just got into Good Omens and I absolutely loved your fic! (I watched the show first because my book was taking too long in the mail lol) Also, the other week I somehow talked myself into making a tfb blog, after all these years of almost doing so before chickening out (this ask isn’t from it because I just hopped in here briefly in a private phone browser to say hi, it’s literally just august-anon though) ~August!Anon

August!anon, I’m always so happy to see you stop by! Tagging your (not-so-new anymore) blog so everyone can check you out: @august-anon​

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hey-teenblog said: August 4th 2019 I love your fanfiction very much! They give me a lot of pleasant emotions. And most importantly, they, saturated with tenderness and love, gave me to accept myself as lee!! sorry for my english, i'm russian Love you 😘❤️

I will never tire of hearing things like this! Thank you for telling me. “Saturated with tenderness and love” is a such wonderful compliment about my writing – thank you very much! No need to apologize for language differences; I’m always impressed with anyone who manages to pick up English because it’s bonkers. 

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Anonymous said: August 23rd 2019 Hi! Just found this blog and wondering some basic info. ** What fandoms do toy write for? ** Do you accept prompts? ** Do you write reader insert fics? Thank you lovley ❤️

Anonymous said: August 29th 2019 Do you write tickle fics for bnha?? Asking for a friend 👀👀

The only fandoms I have reliably been able to write for are Supernatural and Good Omens – but even Good Omens is a rookie player here. Supernatural is my main jam, and Destiel is my favorite flavor. I don’t do reader inserts, but I’m always “accepting” prompts. I just haven’t written many of them for quite a long time now, so you’re welcome to drop them as long as you’re okay with them collecting dust. (see: this selfsame post)

My About/FAQ page is very dusty right now, too, but there might be some useful tidbits in there for you.

---

Anonymous said: November 12th 2019 okayokayokay. Have you watched Lucifer? It's on netflix, it's great, so much emotions and pining. (Also, y'know, reg. Luci stuff. He runs a club. Bad jokes. It's great.)

I haven’t, but it’s on my Netflix watchlist, so I’ll get there eventually! I saw a gifset once where he actually did the thing I see in winged fanfic all the time, where there was gunfire and he sheltered someone he cared about with his manifested wings. And honestly, that was the deciding factor for me.

---

Anonymous said: November 16th 2019 Oh Man U listen to Critrole as well! Nice! Campaign 1 was awesome but also heartfelt and really gut-punching at points. Who is your fav so far, anyone you aren’t fond of? (& Out of interest do you have any tickle related thoughts on the main crew or upcoming Fics we can look out for? As you said it’s tumbleweeds out here for this fandom’s tickles and I’ll take anything really 😂!) Hope u enjoy!!!!!

It’s STILL tumbleweeds out here and it’s making me crazy! My heart belongs to Vax primarily, Percy secondarily. I don’t really have cohesive thoughts or headcanons about anything, unfortunately. I do have this one mental picture that keeps coming up that I keep wanting to see art of (who knows, maybe I’ll commission somebody someday?) – of ridiculous brute Grog just lifting Vax straight up in his arms and gettin’ wiggly with his fingers while all Vax can do is laugh and pry and kick while absolutely nobody helps him.

---

Regarding #series: Accessor:

Anonymous said: August 31st 2015 I would like to see accessor!verse cas using feathers on Dean!!! and NIBBLES and RASPBERRIES and TEETH and TONGUE and WOWWWWWW

ME TOO, FRIEND. It’s been aaaaages since I published anything new for the Accessor AU, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been going back to my unfinished docs every once in a while to add a few lines here and there. ;) 

-

Anonymous said: October 29th 2016 Prompt: Cas is put in charge of getting a treaty with a neighboring country that shares a lot of the same customs, including Accessories, with certain... twists (think Bracelets AU) and treats their personal slaves (like Accessories) like people (listening to opinions, giving proper care, etc.). The foreign diplomats keep bringing that up and talking to Dean. Cas isn't sure he can make it though the diplomatic proceedings. Also, he might be having improper thoughts about that custom and Dean...

I’m posting this here, but I’m definitely keeping this filed elsewhere because it’s FANTASTIC.

-

Halo!anon submitted: June 4th 2018 I can’t help but imagine how tickling must play a part in other aspects of society in the accessor ‘verse, besides the sessions between master and accessory. So here’s some imagines and headcanons, with a touch of worldbuilding. (Warnings, besides the usual for this AU: death mention, reference to past trauma.)

- Among the high class, during parties and other celebrations, it’s seen as a common courtesy to string up one’s personal accessory in the center of the room and let the guests entertain themselves with them. Lord Castiel never does this with Dean, much to his fellow nobles’ disappointment; the mere suggestion had Dean quaking as things he’d rather forget came back to bite him.

- Every so often, a petty criminal(the poor man’s accessory, if you will) is placed in stocks in a small town’s square and left at the mercy of the very people they used to menace. What happens next usually involves honey, some sheep, and plenty of begging. A guard stands by to warn people, “No hurting, only tickling. Everyone please wait your turn, they’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

- Certain monastic healers perform tickle therapy as a treatment for anxiety, stress, and other “diseases of the soul”, as they call them. Balthazar himself proposed the idea, because of course he did. The rich usually indulge in this kind of therapy secretly, due to its undignified nature. Some contemplate the possibility of training accessories to tickle in the future, but it’s still a big taboo.

- Every town has a folktale about a tickle monster. Curiously, many of them involve controlling plants and attacking through dreams. The southern communities still have a giggle remembering that one time six years ago when Michael offered to hunt down one such monster and came back with Crowley, a sleazy drunkard with a fetish and a dream, sitting in a cage and wearing a mask.

- The Masters sisters, Lillith, Meg and Ruby, have a long history with law enforcement. Their favorite pastime is snatching unlucky merchants off the roads and tickling them into coughing up everything they have. Everyone is sure they had a hand in Fergus"Crowley" Macleod’s untimely demise by ferocious attack hounds, but they’re very good at covering their tracks. They’ll help you cover up your tracks too, if you’re a friend- ask Bela Talbot.

I might make a second part if I get any more ideas. I hope you enjoyed this! -Halo!anon.

I am very fond of you indeed, Halo!anon. These are so creative!

-

hypahticklish submitted: July 24th 2018 Accessor!Ideas:

~ Gabriel leads a furious rant regarding Prince Lucifer/Sam to Castiel, relating back to perhaps dealings he has directly had with the Prince between their two unstable-yet-truced Kingdoms. Castiel relates with similar views shared by Gehenna’s councilor(s).

~ Dean and Sam BM where the audience learns more about their homevillage. Dean starts it after a rather morose remark from Sam and ends with Sammy smiling and stealing my heart.

~ Balthazar helps Sam in several ways: 1) Learns the Sam was originally a psuedo-Advocates apprentice, as well as herbalist nephew when Sam identifies the components to some salves/medicines he’s making (he had been explaining what he was doing in an attempt to spare himself being attacked like the first couple times) 2) Calls Sam out on being intelligent and making a recklessly stupid choice by selling himself to find Dean. 3) Removes Lucifers mark. And maybe perhaps: 4) Allows Sam to assist in his own healing/medicine making under his careful observation, feigned as needing two sets of hands to do correctly and his assistant was running an errand, to assess his skills. 5) Offer he work in the hospice under him, apprenticing, should Gabriel allow his intelligence not go to waste. It’s not what Sam really wants to do/learn, but it’s better than doing nothing.

~Dean officially thanks Castiel for saving Sam. I’m talking full feels, single man tear sorta thing. And Castiel says “there was never another option” and then its schmoopy sweet with the kisses and the tickles and the Cas saying he loves Dean back!!!!!!!! swoon.

~ Kali!Likes!Sam’s!Spirit! Give me a dinner scene with Gabriel, Kali and Sam where hes holding his own in a diplomatic conversation with them when he nearly crosses a line (maybe something classist? Making it clear that Cas and Gabe are the exception to his experiences) and she says “I like this ones fire. He reminds me of you, my love.” *grabby hands*

~ Prince Lucifer sends a message to Gabriel requesting (threatening) his Helpmate be returned to him for a handsome reward. Sam somehow sees letter and gets spooked because DRAMA. Gabriel responds to Lucifer with the Chief Advocate equivalent of “Fuck Off”

You, my friend. YOU. All these feelings about Sam? Top-notch, and I shall be borrowing them, yes I shall.

---

Regarding #android!Cas:

hypahticklish said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas deciding today is the DAY. Dean has been teasing him lately that he likes these strange sensations that have him using all his back-up generated power to not accidentally break Dean's bones and challenging him with that cocky smirk and relaxed confidence. Android!Cas practicing during time while Dean rests with holding objects with similar density to the human wrists with enough gentle force that they neither fracture or slip from his grasp. Android!Cas surprising Dean by turning the tables and pinning his wrists over his head while settling himself on Dean's thighs. Android!Cas not necessarily tickling at first so much as just touching like he had been wanting to so as to catalog how his best friend feels with his new technology. Android!Cas feeling that bubble of FEELS in his chest as he listens to Dean swear at him with positive physical actions negating his harsh words, growing more amused as the bubbling giggles begin. I love Android!Cas 

Anonymous said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas figures out his own strength comes in handy for more than just retaining himself during tickle fights. When he surprises Dean, Dean tends to squirm and fight back a little (even though he told Cas to get him back as part of the experience), so Cas uses his strength to gently hold Dean down while ticking him. Dean's never been held immobile before so it's a new experience for him, but he ends up liking it. Cas notices how Dean relaxes into his hold after a minute or so. Cas doesn't fail to use this knowledge about Dean, coming up with teasing words and methods of ticking to make Dean all squirmy and giggly, taking special notice of how light tickles effect Dean even more than most other touches, using that specially designed soft brush meant to gently clean Cas' delicate computer chips.

Anonymous said: February 17th 2016 I'm joining in on the Android!Cas thing, if not too late. Perhaps Android!Cas has detachable parts, like a foot, and Dean is a jerk and runs off and hides with it all the while tickling it and making fun of Android!Cas's increasingly desperate attempts to get it back.

Y’all, careful deliberate curious determined ‘ler Cas is LIFE. And, reserved confused helpless adorable ‘lee Cas is also life. Detachable and extensible parts are probably key to both of these things.

---

Regarding current personal circumstances:

Anonymous said: January 14th 2020 I pray that you’re able to find peace during this difficult time. You are loved more than you will ever know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will come a time that you are thankful for this experience, because it will have turned you into the person you are truly meant to be. Be strong and be hopeful. Keep your faith and keep knowing that you are going to be okay. Don’t let this dark time destroy the magnificent light inside of you. Sending you so much love

Anonymous said: January 17th 2020 I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hang in there! We’re all here for you!

Anonymous said: February 11th 2020 all my love, thoughts and prayers are going towards you right now. also wanted to just drop a little thank you note in your inbox for all the light and joy i've found in your fics over the years. im sitting half way through my first year at uni currently but ive been a fan of yours since early highschool and i feel like ive almost grown up with your writing and fanfics in a strange way, so thank you so much for that. sending all my love to you once again- you are so strong x

I love you all so much.

[dragonsaphirareads]

Little Moments

Day 6 of @tsshipmonth2020​ Fluffuary

Ship: Royality 

AU: Human 

 Word Count: 946 

Summary: A quiet night at home leads to a late night talk.

(Like listening to podfics? You can listen to this oneshot on my YT channel here!)

Patton hummed to himself as he stirred the bubbling pot of soup, reaching for the salt and tapping the shaker over it. He double checked the timer as he heard the front door open and heard his fiancee call out to him.

“Home!” Roman sung, hanging his coat up on the hook and dropping his bag at his feet. He kicked his shoes off and shuffled into the kitchen, finding the love of his life with his back to him, facing the stove.

Patton grinned as Roman’s arms gently wrapped around his waist, and he tilted his head back slightly to let Roman’s chin fit into the crook of his collarbone. “Evening, sweetheart. How was work?”

The other groaned, hiding his face against Patton’s shoulder. Patton snickered. “That bad, hm?”

“Genius is never understood in its own time...” Roman mumbled, pressing lazy kisses to Patton’s neck, cheek and temple. “I tell them how they should do things, they don’t listen to me, and then they complain when it all goes to shit exactly like I said it would.”

Patton hated hearing his fiancee’s stories like this, knowing that he did love the work he did when it didn’t involve convincing other people to listen. “Well, I’ve got some good news for you. The audition information came through for the Sunrise Theatre. They’re doing Cinderella this year~”

He could feel Roman smile against his skin. “Perfect! I was just thinking, I’ve been itching to get back on stage!”

“I can’t wait to see you. You’ve been working so hard, you deserve to do something fun!” Patton told him, dropping the spoon in the soup and spinning around in Roman’s arms so they were face to face. Roman was several inches taller than him, so Patton tilted his head up to meet his eyes.

Roman leaned down and pecked his lips, a featherlight touch. Patton reached up and threw his arms around the other’s neck, pulling him down into a better kiss. “Don’t starve me like that, you tease~”

“So needy!” Roman pressed their foreheads together, moving his arms so that one was fully wrapped around Patton’s waist while the other reached up and took Patton’s hand in his own. He then held it out to the side, swaying them back and forth. With their foreheads resting against each other, Roman began to hum.

“So this is love...” He sung, spinning around the kitchen floor with his fiancee in his arms. Patton giggled, sneaking kisses in between Roman’s movements.

“Practicing already? You haven’t even auditioned yet~”

Roman chuckled. “It’s never a wrong time to serenade my love!”

Patton smiled, his heart brimming with love for his lovely prince.

Eventually Roman just hummed, and Patton laid his head against his chest, letting the vibrations of his singing lull him.

“I love you...” Patton whispered into the air, and Roman kissed the top of his head.

“I love you too, my dearest heart.” Came the whisper back, and they met for one more kiss before Patton pulled away and grabbed the soup spoon again, eliciting a whine from Roman.

“You can keep distracting me if you want, but things are going to start burning if we don’t eat soon.” Patton chirped, swatting Roman’s hands away playfully. “Go change and then we can cuddle after dinner~”

“Movie tonight? Roman asked quietly, and Patton’s heart swelled. He was too cute sometimes. Patton kissed his cheek before pushing him towards the bedroom, turning back to the soup pot.

“Of course, my prince.”

~

Dinner went quickly. Roman always ate more when he came home frustrated from work, so they ended up not having leftovers to put away. They washed the dishes side by side, flicking water at each other playfully.

Once they were done, they snuggled together on the couch, with Roman laying on Patton’s chest and scrolling through their options with the remote.

“Any requests, my darling?”

“Nothing sad... I don’t wanna cry tonight.” Patton told him, yawning.

Roman hummed, eventually settling on rewatching a few episodes of Steven Universe, and they cuddled close. They both worked long hours most days, so their time together was limited to a few hours at night.

After an hour or so, Patton was nodding off when Roman suddenly shifted, his arms curling tighter around Patton’s back.

“Something wrong?”

Roman shook his head, tilting up to smile at Patton, eyes sparkling. “No. I’m just thinking about how lucky I am to be with you.”

Patton laughed, thankful it was dark. Roman got sappy when he was tired, and even after two years of being together it still caught him off guard.

“You’re amazing. The most incredible, sweet, angelic person I’ve ever met.”

“Come on Roman, you’re just saying that-“

“Shut up and let me compliment you!” Roman scolded, and Patton clicked his jaw shut. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that, but really, Patton, I know you don’t always believe me but I mean every word!”

Patton sighed, running his fingers through Roman’s hair slowly. “I know... I just have a hard time taking compliments...”

Roman sat up, leaning in to kiss Patton’s cheek. “Then I’ll keep doing it so you can practice. Because you deserve to know how much you mean to me.”

Patton sniffled, wiping at his eyes. “Roman, I said I didn’t want to cry tonight!”

His fiancée laughed, pulling him into his lap and kissing his hair. “Sorry, my love.”

Patton snuggled into his chest, sighing. “I want to believe you, so badly... I’m sorry...”

“You don’t have to apologize. I love you, and as long as you believe that... everything else will come. Can you believe that?”

“Yes... I can believe that.”

[nochuuuenthusiast]

swim

i’ve been drooling over how hOT jungkook looked from those two videos that he posted of himself swimming recently so i kinda got inspired and i wanted to write something based on that so... here it is! sorry if it’s bad lol 

*requests are open! 

plot: idol!jungkook went for a late night swim after his concert and gf!(y/n) sees twitter videos of his swim

genre: fluff; idol!jungkook + boyfriend!jungkook

word count: 1425

The sounds of splashing water permeated the entire swimming pool. The puddles on each end of the concrete that surrounded the body of water were gradually becoming larger and larger as Jungkook swam his way to each end of the pool then kicked off the sides to increase his acceleration to get back to the other side. Small waves followed larger waves as Jungkook pushed the water under his arms as he used up the rest of his remaining energy into his last lap for the night.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally lifted his head from the water and swiftly propelled himself out of the water, exhausted from the workout. His chest was heaving as he took off the black rubber goggles from off of his head, trying to catch his breath. After grabbing a towel from the nearby towel rack, he walked over to the other end of the pool and crouched down to retrieve his phone. Jungkook checked his gallery to see if everything had been recorded and once he saw that the videos had been saved, he smiled to himself. He immediately uploaded his two favorite videos to Twitter, knowing that his fans were eager to see more workout content after the recent videos he posted of himself boxing and lifting weights got much more recognition than he expected. Jungkook was so immersed in reading the hundreds of comments that had already been posted under his videos seconds after he posted them that he didn’t even notice how late it was. 

Satisfied, Jungkook headed back to the chair that held all of his belongings. After taking a sip of water, his eyes grew so wide that someone might have thought that they were going to bulge out of his eye sockets. His bright phone displayed the white numbers “12:34” above his lockscreen which happened to be a picture of you eating some strawberries while staring out at the glistening sunset that he took when you guys recently went on a small picnic date before his hectic tour started.

Realizing that he promised to facetime you after he went for a “quick” swim after the concert, he felt the guilt flood his mind as he gathered his things to head back to his hotel room. He went on the Internet and searched up “12:34am EST to KST” on the Internet to try to see if he was too late. The screen continued to load due to the poor Internet in the elevator but right when he read “1:34pm KST,” he sighed and his eyes drooped in disappointment... knowing that your lunch break ended at 1:30pm and that he had missed his opportunity to call you and hear your voice one more time. 

Ding. 

The elevator door opened to the floor of his hotel room and Jungkook made his way to his room, still upset that he did not keep his promise. 

Although you were offered the chance to accompany Jungkook on Bangtan’s world tour, you politely declined since you still had some work to do involving the company that you worked for back at home in Korea. You were upset for months on end because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to see Jungkook for a couple of months until his tour ended but Jungkook reassured you that you didn’t have anything to worry about since he promised to facetime and call you as much as he could... and so far, he’s kept his promise, until today. 

It was 1:00pm in Seoul and you were currently on your lunch break. Jungkook told you that his concert had finished and that he was on his way back to the hotel with the rest of his members about two hours ago and you were joyful because that meant that you would be able to facetime him during your lunch break. Jungkook told you that he was going to go for a swim and that he would call you just in time for your lunch break but it had already been an hour since you started your lunch break and there was still no call. 

You pouted as you placed your head on your chin, carelessly munching on your salad as you stared at your phone, waiting for his call. You watched the time go by and you noticed that your lunch break was nearing its end. Staring at the clock that read 1:30pm, you realized that Jungkook would probably not be calling you today since you assumed that he had fallen asleep before he had the chance to... but you couldn’t blame him... he probably had an exhausting day. Sighing, you unlocked your phone and tapped on the green and white messaging app symbol in order to tell Jungkook that you would contact him tomorrow. 

Jungkook-oppa, I know you’re really tired so let’s facetime tomorrow~okay? And also, good job on your concert today~ I’m so proud of you and I love yo-- 

You were mid sentence as you stopped typing and got a notification on your screen. 

Bing!

You squinted your eyes as you glared at the bright screen; you noticed that not only did you receive a Twitter notification, but it was a Twitter notification for a video that Jungkook had posted. Your swift fingers tapped on the notification immediately which displayed a video that Jungkook had filmed of himself swimming. Clicking on the video, you were soon to realize that Jungkook was half naked and this instantly brought a pink flush to your cheeks. You replayed and rewatched the video at least six more times, giggling all the while as you stared at the screen intently... trying to see if you could catch a glimpse of his abs. 

ARMY are probably dying right now... hahahaha

You glanced at the clock of your office one more time and although your lunch break had ended 4 minutes ago, you decided to sneak out to the bathroom while claiming that your stomach was hurting so that you could call Jungkook yourself. 

So he isn’t sleeping... 

You clutched onto your stomach as your coworkers stared at you as you rushed out of the office. You headed outside and went behind the building so that you could freely talk to Jungkook. Going back to your text messaging app, you pressed your finger on the small backspace button on the far right end of your keyboard, erasing the concise text that you were planning on sending him. You smiled as you looked for his contact and pressed the small phone icon... knowing that you were one touch away from connecting with him again. 

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. 

Jungkook’s phone screen displayed a picture of you as he received his call. His pupils grew wider in shock as he let his phone vibrate in his hand from the incoming call. He thought that your lunch break was over... he thought that you were too busy to talk to him. 

Jungkook briskly swiped his screen to answer his phone call. He wanted to hear your voice... badly. 

“(y/n)?? I thought you were at work... isn’t your lunch break over now?” 

“It’s okay, I snuck out of the office... my coworkers think my stomach hurts and that I need to go to the restroom...” 

“Oh my god (y/n)... what the hell? Hahaha,” Jungkook bit his lip after he realized that you were probably annoyed that he didn’t keep his promise and call you. He knew that you were probably waiting for him and he started to feel guilty again as he heard your voice over the phone. “(y/n)... I’m so sorry I didn’t call you like I said I would... I got caught up at the swimming pool and I didn’t even bother to check the time... I’m sorry.” 

“Kook, don’t be sorry... it’s nothing. I know you were probably really tired and you don’t have to call me every day... I’ll be okay... trust me.”

This made Jungkook much more relieved and he smiled at your reassurances. 

“So... I saw the video that you posted on Twitter,” you said as you smirked, waiting for his response. 

“Oh... so you did...” Jungkook said smugly. “What did you think?” 

“Meh... I like Jimin’s biceps more than yours,” you teased, knowing that your boyfriend tended to get jealous. “I think his abs are more defined than yours... you might need to step up your game, Kook.”

“’Meh’ ?!” Jungkook repeated, clearly insulted. “Oh we’ll see about that when I get home...” 

[kumkaniudaku]

Scene Partner

A/N: This is HEAVILY inspired by the incomparable @justanotherloveaffair and her work. Particularly The Fountain and A Late Night Invitation. Both have strong adult content, so read at your own discretion. Enjoy. 

Warning: Adult Themes 

“The category is...live, work, pose!”

Tasha let off an elated giggle that bounced off the walls of the living room as she made herself comfortable beneath her favorite throw blanket. After hours of tinkering with the television in the rented Hilton Head townhome, she was finally able to commence a rewatch of her favorite series to keep her mind occupied while her husband worked on his script on the balcony.

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, Chadwick was on a mission to complete an initial draft of a script he’d been pouring over for months. An explosion of pent-up frustration in the dead of night led CoCo to call an audible and orchestrate a short vacation before another expensive vase was destroyed.

While Tasha spent time inside sipping red wine and reciting lines from Pose, Chadwick stared out at the sunset’s reflection on the aquamarine waters a few feet away. Though he finally felt relaxed enough to be productive, he was still stuck on a pivotal scene in the script. At the height of the conflict between the male lead and his written girlfriend, the actions didn’t feel authentic. Each word lacked passion and motivation on the page and Chadwick knew that if he found it difficult to connect to the characters, viewers would quickly lose interest in the story.

A boisterous ‘yasssss’ from the other room made him look over and smile. Observing his wife-to-be in a true state of happiness at something as small as a television show had recently become the driving force behind his desire to succeed. The mere promise of coming home to her at the end of a long day made all of the trials and triumphs worth the trouble. Taking a look between his laptop screen and CoCo, he made the decision to pack up his things and take a break.

Grabbing his script, Chadwick quietly padded into the living room and cleared his throat to get Tasha’s attention. She quickly lowered the volume on the TV at turned to greet him with a smile.

“Hey, baby! Make any progress?”

“Eh, a little,” he answered, grunting as he took a seat next to her on the couch. “I’m stuck on this scene toward the beginning. Right after Chris gets out of jail.”

“Well, come on over here and tell me all about it.”

Chadwick couldn’t help but crack a smile at his wife making grabbing motions like a toddler to welcome him into her arms. Relenting to the cute display of affection, he allowed her to pull him close enough to rest his head on her chest.

“It just...there’s no feeling in the words, ya know. He finally gets out of jail after ten years, gets back to his childhood love and she offers no resistance. Amayah is supposed to be this strong woman that has learned to parent a child after he selfishly gets locked up, and the moment he comes back, she’s all ears? It doesn’t seem real. Am I tripping?”

“No, you’re making valid observations. Have you talked to your partners about changing things?”

“They hear me, but they aren’t on board.”

Tasha thought for a moment and shrugged, “So, let's act it out. If what they wrote is something actual people would do, then it should translate as we go along, right?”

Sitting up, Chadwick beamed at his fiancé before peppering her face in kisses. “That’s brilliant! I can’t believe I’m about to marry a genius.”

“Didn’t you luck out,” she laughed. “Now go grab the script! Give me some background on Amayah. She sounds spicy.”

“Amayah is an Afro Dominican woman from Brooklyn. A nurse by trade, she parents her 10-year-old alone the best she can. Consider her a bit of a firecracker with a soft inside.”

“Sounds like the official synopsis you find on Wikipedia.”

“It is,” Chadwick confirmed as he handed Tasha the script and pointed to the top of the selected page. “You sure you aren’t getting information through an earpiece?”

“I’m just that good, love.”

Rolling his eyes, Chadwick motioned toward the kitchen for Tasha to join him. He watched in silence for a few moments while she skimmed the script for a general feel of the scene. As she neared the middle of the page, she stopped and pulled her hair free from her bun. Her once sleek style quickly transformed into a more dynamic and free look. She was morphing into the character Chadwick envisioned from the start.

“Okay,” she breathed out as she shook her hands to figuratively shake away the nerves. “I’m ready. From the top?”

“Start after Chris walks in. Take your time. Feel every word.”

Tasha took in the information with her eyes closed in an effort to channel her emotions. After a quick ‘okay’ to signal she was ready, Chadwick set up the audio recording on his phone and prepared to begin.

“Fuck, Mayah, can we sit down and talk about the shit?”

“We don’t have nothin’ to talk about, Chris!” Chadwick was shocked by Tasha’s ability to change her voice so effectively, adding an authentic accent to the character. As much as he wanted to step in and praise her, he held back for the sake of the work.

“You don’t get to be selfish for ten fuckin’ years and come back thinking shit is okay! Get. Out.”

Noticing the slight deviation, Chadwick followed Tasha’s lead and changed his line to fit the situation.

“Selfish? You - you think I wanted to be in there?”

“You weren’t doing anything to stay out! How many times did I ask you to come home? Huh! I stood right here and begged you to stay inside but you chose them over me. Over us! That’s selfish!”

“That’s taking care of a family! That’s what a man is supposed to do.”

“I never asked you to do that!” Tasha’s display of emotion injected the right amount of realism to transform the moment into a real-life situation. Abandoning the script altogether, Chadwick rounded the counter to stand closer to Tasha.

A quick flash in his eyes conveyed to Tasha that she was on the right track and had free range to continue.

“The only thing I’ve ever wanted is for you to be at home with me and Marco! And you couldn’t even do that.”

“I’m here now, Mayah! Let me be here for you.”

Following her gut, Tasha turned her head to avoid eye contact, “No. It’s too late.”

“Look at me, baby. Let me be here. Please.” He gently tugged at her crossed arms to turn her body toward his. “Let me be here.”

“No. You have to leave.”

Just as it was written in the script, Chadwick leaned into a kiss hoping that the results on paper would be different than the results in the moment. But, as soon as their lips collided, both of them became charged with their character’s emotions.

Tasha attempted to resist the temptation, continuing to withhold affection after several tender pecks on the corner of her mouth. Her body twisted out of his grasp to lean against the kitchen counter and anchor her mind to reality.

Chadwick acted on her reactions by kissing the tears from her cheek before moving to stand behind her.

“I need you to let me be here.” A kiss to the back of her neck. “I love you. Please. I can change. Give me a chance to explain.”

“You’ve had all of your chances. What’s so different this time?” Amayah and Tasha had now become one woman, both battling with past choices and chances given to those that didn’t deserve them at the time.

Silent tears fell from her flushed face to hit the back of her hand and Chadwick wondered if he was pushing the love of his life past her limits. Acting was his occupation. He knew how to separate fact from fiction. Trusting her ability to speak up when she reached her breaking point, he allowed her to continue with careful consideration.

“I’m different this time.” His slender fingers traveled up the soft skin of Tasha’s exposed arm, raising goosebumps until he anchored them on her shoulder. Chadwick nuzzled his nose into her neck to force her head up until he could softly kiss the juncture of her neck and collarbone. “I’m different this time.”

Chadwick surprised himself when his declaration came out in a low whisper. The world around them, the sounds of the beach and tourists just outside the door, had long transformed into what they remembered from the busy streets of Brooklyn. Together Chadwick and Tasha were now Chris and Amayah and able to live in the fullness of the moment.

With their faces mere centimeters apart, he pressed his lips into hers cautiously, feeling no resistance. He continued to lead the kiss until he felt the firm press of her lips on his. They both stood in a whirlwind of emotions as timid pecks made way for a deep kiss packed with anger, lust, and love.

Tasha followed what she assumed Amayah would do in the situation and reached around Chadwick to palm the back of his head and bring him closer. He happily responded to the contact and wrapped both arms around her midsection to quell the fear that she might fade away if he didn’t hold on.

The thudding in both of their hearts began to intensify as his hands slid to grip her waist and pulled her body back into the heat of his chest.

Chadwick gently rolled his lower half into Tasha’s backside before breaking the kiss to release a little sigh.

“I love you,” he confessed breathlessly in her ear. The sentiment wasn’t returned despite Tasha’s longing to scream it to the ceiling. She was still acting on Amayah’s emotions.

Instead, she moved her hand to take control of Chadwick’s movements, forcing his head back into the crook of her neck to kiss. He obliged and slowly lifted the hem of her nightie to find the surprise of her being bare underneath. One hand roamed the soft skin of her belly beneath the silk fabric while the other went on a mission to free himself from his cotton gym shorts.

When his lips returned for another taste, he introduced himself to her body in one fluid motion.

“Fuck. Yes,” Tasha belted between shaky breaths.

The script and its dialogue became a distant memory as they traded choppy moans and sighs of content. Low lights in the room created sensual silhouettes on the walls of bodies moving in tandem like a choreographed dance. Tasha searched for anything to grab hold of to keep her body anchored in reality while her fiance poured his entire being into conveying feelings that belonged to two separate people.

Using a firm touch, Chadwick’s hand traveled from her torso to her neck to apply pressure. Tasha’s jaw dropped in ecstasy at the feelings surrounding her. She could feel the rapid pulse of her lover’s dick inside of her making her legs feel like putty by the second. His warm breath alternated between pants of effort against her neck to hungry nips and bites at her lips. When his off hand moved between her lips to fondle her clit, her mind went into a black fog from the intensity.

Tasha’s hand flew back to press against Chadwick’s thighs, hoping that her attempt to slow the onslaught of mind-numbing sensations would convince her lover to give her a breather. Instead, he released a short laugh before nuzzling his nose against her cheek.

“Nuh uh, move your hand,” he commanded as he took her wrist to pin it behind her back. “Why you runnin’?” 

Tasha responded in a high pitch mumble about going slow that he responded to with a smile and a change of pace.

Though he slowed to a more manageable speed, the intensity remained. Long, beautifully punishing strokes made her eyes roll back before fluttering closed in preparation for a wave of euphoria. Colors burst behind her lids as her limbs began to seize in Chadwick’s arms. He held her close and praised her reactions, speeding up his rhythm as he chased his release.

Opening her mouth to respond with an expression of thanks resulted in a muted scream followed by a guttural groan when her body became flooded with warmth. While she focused on coming down from her high, Chadwick was reaching his peak. His short whimpers preceded drawn out moans until he was reduced to periodic panting to catch his breath.

Both of them stayed put, unable to form coherent thoughts from exhaustion. After several moments Tasha let out a laugh and turned her head so that she could kiss Chadwick’s cheek.

“Now you can leave.”

His eyes widened along with his smile, “Woooow. That’s method acting if I’ve ever seen it. Sure you don’t wanna audition? I’d love to have you on set.”

“Yeah, I bet. You treat all your co-stars this way?”

“Only the ones I plan sharing my last name with.” Sharing a laugh, the pair finally pulled apart to help each other clean up and return to their original, pre-coitus state. As Tasha fetched a glass for Chadwick to join her in her wine exploration, he began searching for his cell phone to make notes on the script before his train of thought was compromised.

Unlocking his phone, Chadwick felt a split second of horror at the realization that he had not only recorded the “changes” to the script but also at least ten minutes of sex and conversation. His rush to delete the recording stopped when he curiously pressed play and fast-forwarded to a random point. What he found was a beautiful symphony of passion and filth that could come in handy when work obligations kept them apart.

Still reeling from the earlier activities, Chadwick quickly edited the lewd parts of the recording, saved it to a separate file and stored it in a secret folder on his phone.

“Babe, c’mon! Damon is about to go on his audition!”

“Be there in a second. Keep my spot warm for me.”

Unable to resist the temptation, he took one last listen to the audio and shivered as he relived the moment with his eyes closed. Another call of his name snapped Chadwick out of the moment to remind him of his obligation to join Tasha in the living room but not before he took the time to send a quick text message.

Had a conversation with the wife. You were right about the C+A scene. Very authentic. Minor changes on the way.

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Need A Best Friend

anonymous said: Hi there, love! I was wondering if you could do some fluffy Rami x reader where they were really close in college and she is brutally OBSESSED with Queen. (Fast forward to filming BoRhap) Rami brings her on set and finally confesses the feelings he's had for her the whole time as Freddie. (Freakin' love your writing ❤️)

“Rami, you know I don’t like surprises!”

Rami rolled his eyes playfully, rubbing the sleep from them as he shifted a bit in the backseat of the car that had picked you both up bright and early to take you out to Rockfield Farm. He’d flown you out to London on the premise that he missed you and wanted to show you the secret project he was currently working on. You’d said yes, on the conditions that he didn’t make you sleep on the bed while he took the couch or chair – or worse, the floor. You knew Rami like the back of your hand, and many-a-night in his dorm you’d had to argue with him for hours on how it was his bed, not yours.

“Y/N, you love surprises more than anyone I know. Don’t even try that with me.” Grinning sheepishly, you glanced over your shoulder at him as the England countryside whirred on by the window, and Rami felt a stirring in his heart that had been mainly dormant since waking this morning, only fluttering once upon realizing the domesticity of brushing his teeth side by side with you in the bathroom.

“You got me,” you giggled, and as your eyes turned back out the window, he found himself wishing that an alternate version of those words was true now more than ever.

“Late night at Ridgway. C’mon. Rami. Late. Night. At. Ridgway.” You were in Graves Res Hall, pushing on a sleeping (or trying, really) Rami who’d made the mistake of copying his dorm key so you could get in whenever you wanted. You’d done the same, of course, but right now he was regretting it as he sat up in his bed, groaning softly and stretching before hugging his legs.

“What time is it?” he croaked, checking the alarm clock next to his bed to find it was just past midnight, the 12:10 staring him back in the face. Looking up at you and blinking blearily, he found you grinning dopily, only outlined by the aggressive red light from the clock. Even then, he could tell you were just a tad tipsy, your eyes glazed over as you leaned all your weight on the bed, waiting impatiently. “Late night at Ridgway? Do they even have that on Monday nights?”

“Absolutely!” you replied cheerily, holding out a pair of sweatpants and slides for him. “And I’m craving waffles, so let’s get a move on, Malek. It’s only open for another hour and some change.”

“God, why do I put up with you?” he teased gently, taking the grey sweatpants and starting to pull them on as he hopped off the bed. His eyebrows furrowed as you kneeled down in front of him, holding out the slides so he could put his feet into them, and an unrelenting blush accompanied the baffled expression when you looked up at him from where you sat (see: wobbled) back on your heels. The point of view was too suggestive for his liking, especially in the dark at 12-something in the morning, and your silly grin as he watched you was heartwrenching. So, he cleared his throat and put his feet in the slides quickly. “Can I at least go to the bathroom before we leave?”

“I suppose I can let ya do that,” you groaned playfully, climbing back to your feet before falling back into the beanbag chair nearby with a small ‘oof.’

“Thanks,” he mumbled, taking off for the bathroom at a hurried pace.

The morning light that started to filter in through the window as you drove was giving you a glow as Rami watched you gaze out over the changing landscape, the rolling hills and lush greenery interspersed with some very dark mud that was a product of last night’s rain. You were ethereal to him, an Elysian being that was somehow stuck in the back of a crud-covered Ford Focus with him, a hopelessly devoted man who’d been crushing on a girl for close to 18 years.

“Are you excited to see what I’ve been working on? You’ll shit a brick.” Rami’s voice lulled you out of your trance, and you turned to face the tawny-skinned, curly-haired man you’d grown to love as your favorite human.

“I wish you’d just tell me,” you pouted, and the way your bottom-lip jutted out was dangerous to Rami’s will. Ignoring the tremble in your plump, peachy, lower lip, he instead met your eyes with his own observant green ones, giving you a knowing smile.

“No way in hell.”

“Rami, gun to your head, stop showering or stop brushing your teeth?” you asked lazily, leaned up against one of the trees in the expansive lawn on campus. It was a pretty nice day for April, so you and Rami had elected to leave Bower and instead study on the lawn since finals were rapidly approaching. Lately, it felt like you’d been cooped up in the Fine Arts building, so it was a welcome relief. Rami laid on his stomach nearby, sprawled out with a book that had him invested until you’d distracted him moments ago out of your own sheer boredom.

“Oh, God, stop. That’s so gross,” he groaned, burying his face in his book for a moment before sitting up again and sighing melodramatically. “Showering, if I had to choose.”

“Really?” you asked, peeking over your book at him and catching his eye and he propped himself up on his elbows again. His hair was short, buzzed after a recent attempt at a perm he didn’t need anyways, and he looked completely put on the spot as he caught you staring at him questioningly. “Interesting.”

“What’s so interesting about it?” he asked, crossing his olive-skinned arms over one another as he furrowed his eyebrows at you, his book of no interest to him now. He had a pretty girl’s undivided attention, and it was doubly as exciting that it was you, his best friend and someone he’d grown to be quite fond of lately.

“I don’t know, I just… you’d be so stinky.” Your nose wrinkled a bit at the thought, an action that was fatally adorable and made Rami grin a bit as he looked down at his book, not really reading it.

“Yeah, but rotting teeth? No thank you.” Looking up again, he raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Are you really gonna choose no teeth over stinky pits?”

Another nose wrinkle. “No way in hell…. Would you rather control your dreams or be able to rewatch them whenever you want?”

He quieted, looking off in the distance as he vaguely recalled a dream in which he’d had the opportunity to kiss you. He did it. Nerves that crippled him in real life weren’t a hindrance in the dream. A soft smile came to his lips, one you couldn’t read even if you tried.

“Rewatch them whenever I want.”

“You know, I kind of regret not splurging and studying abroad at Harlaxton while I had the chance,” you mused as Rockfield Farm drew nearer and nearer, Rami still delighted with your apparent obliviousness to the whole situation. He knew you knew about Rockfield/Ridge Farm. Being best friends with the biggest Queen fan alive was quite a daunting task when you had to keep your work on the film pretty much under wraps. “Just think England’s got so much culture.”

“I thought about it too, but it wasn’t feasible,” Rami lied, looking down at his phone for a moment to hide the shame in his eyes. He didn’t go because you didn’t. The moment you’d ruled it out as a possibility due to money being tight, Rami threw away his application.

“It’s fucking upsetting,” you mumbled, curled up on Rami’s cramped dorm bed with your head resting on his thigh, staring at the CD/radio player that was doing its best to crank out a bootlegged version of A Night at the Opera. His hands ran through your hair uneasily, knowing that anything could set you off at any moment. You had just realized that you couldn’t afford to study abroad next semester, and you were really banking on being able to do so because you’d be just a few hour’s drive away from the birthplace of your favorite band of all time – Queen.

Rami’s steady humming and gentle way with your hair was easing the sadness out of you, but there was still a hint of grief on your face as you closed your eyes, sighing softly. “This isn’t the only chance for you to ever see England and London, Y/N, it’s okay.”

“But what if it is, Rami?” you whined softly, sniffling a bit as the very real possibility of absolutely flopping in your theater studies hovered over you. “What if I become a nobody actress and never get the chance to leave this stupid little state?”

“Hey, don’t say that.” He frowned, pushing your hair back out of your face, and gave you a disgruntled look. “You are not going to fail, you’re going to be the best god damn actress out there – they’ll be begging you to come to London and you’ll probably have to buy a ticket for poor old Rami here just so he can see it.”

“Oh, shut up,” you groaned, but a laugh was evident in your voice as you rolled over, hiding your face in his shirt and trying to stifle laughs as he grinned. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“So what if I am? It’s still the truth,” he countered sassily, making you whine again as you hid your face more in his shirt, refusing to respond again and just sitting in silence with him. The soft sound of ’39 filled the quiet room, sending a pang through the hearts of both of you for different reasons.

Now you were getting impatient. Rockfield was less than a mile away, but you were thoroughly baffled at your surroundings. “Really, Rami, are you taking me out here to kill me and take my riches? I didn’t make that much money from my stint on my last show, so you’re not gaining much here.”

But Rami wasn’t quite listening, knowing that he needed to get into the zone soon so he could be ready to switch over into Freddie once he walked on set. “Hey, when we get there, Kelli’s going to take you over to catering while I start getting ready. Uh, try not to hurt yourself.”

“So confident in my abilities,” you teased, watching as Rockfield’s vaguely recognizable barn/studio came into view, surrounded by a multitude of vehicles, trailers, and the likes all swarmed by various personnel. “Hey, this is… No fucking way.” Realization dawned on you, registering quickly on your face, and your jaw went slack as you looked over to Rami, who was wearing a cheesy grin.

“Surprise?”

“Rami, no way in hell!” you reiterated, practically squealing as you grabbed onto his arm. “I thought this project was toast when Sacha left a few years ago, you didn’t fucking tell me you were the replacement! I fucking hate you! Oh my god, Rami, I’m so excited, I love this for you!”

“So many mixed signals,” he laughed, patting your hand with his gently, but you had a vice-like grip on his arm as you stared in awe at the set you were approaching, knowing that this was Rockfield Farm, one of the iconic studios that Queen had utilized for A Night at the Opera. And you knew that Brian or Roger had announced literally years ago that a movie was in the works, but some friends that you shared in the industry had let it slip that Sacha left over some disagreements. However, you’d never imagined that your best friend was the one to pick the role up.

“Rami, you are playing Freddie fucking Mercury and you didn’t tell me!” you gasped, gently pushing him away and staring at him in shock. “My favorite band of all time and I…. God, I want to hate you so much but I’m so freaking stoked for this I might pass out! Oh my god. This is so exciting! I’m so proud of you!”

At it again with the mixed signals, you excitedly grabbed his hand and squeezed it between yours, staring through the windshield as you approached the barn. While you watched the situation unfold, Rami watched you, hyperaware of how soft and warm your hands were around his own. It took him back to the first time he’d held hands with you, far before he’d realized how head over heels he was for his best friend.

“Lucky for you, you got paired up with the cutest girl in class,” you teased as you walked back to the other side of the stage, preparing to start your dialogue practice over yet again. Rami had broken character, laughing about a line that called him a Mona Lisa because of the way you’d said it. Now he was reclined back on his chair again, rolling his eyes playfully at your brash comment.

“I said I was worried about getting through the lines, that has nothing to do with your relative hotness.” He fingered through the short script for a second, then groaned out and looked over at you with an amused expression. “But damn it, we really are the cutest ones in class, aren’t we?”

He barely knew you at this point, the both of you only recently having befriended each other over this particular class – something about body language and physicality, how to convey your emotions not just through language. So the harmless flirting really was harmless, a way to ease the tension of trying to figure out a dialogue with an acquaintance. You knew Rami was from California, but you’d never seen his dorm and didn’t know he had a twin. He knew you were just recently 19 as of last week, but your shared apartment remained a mystery, and he couldn’t even name your hometown if he tried. You were basically strangers, yet to meet up outside of class, but there was a strange quality to your relationship that made it different – somehow, it was easier joking with each other than it was with any of the other friends you’d made since moving to Evansville a few months ago.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you!” you laughed, tossing a crumpled up sticky note at him before checking your watch and whining melodramatically. “Shit, our reserved time is up.” As if on cue, the rehearsal stage doors opened and another pair of students walked in, eyeing you as if they vaguely remembered you from class but wanted you out of sight immediately. Exhaling quickly and pushing your bangs back out of your face, you nodded to the exit. “Let’s bounce, maybe we can go grab some coffee and run through lines without you laughing like a hyena.”

“I do not sound like a hyena!” he gasped, clutching at his chest playfully but rising from the chair anyways and retrieving his bag from the side of the stage. Hopping off together, you chatted amiably as you made the trek across campus to the coffee shop, where you both grabbed a quick drink before settling in on the lawn. Rami stretched out casually as he leaned against the tree behind him, and you sat cross-legged, facing him and reading from the script in your lap.

And this time, you managed to get through the lines without an issue, even adding in a few notes as you went along for your interpretations of what should be happening physically at certain points.

“The whole point is, like, physicality, but we don’t want to overdo it, right?” you asked as you penned something into the margin, then took a sip of your coffee and took his hand with the other. Lacing your fingers into his, he watched on in subdued surprise as you squeezed his hand, then quickly switched to just clasping your hand around his. “So, when Marvelli is like ‘ahhh you’re the love of my life you’re the best even though you just called me mona lisa,’ I feel like-“ you had to pause as Rami giggled once, a knowing smile coming onto your face as you rolled your eyes. “I feel like he should grab Angie’s hand, but do we wanna go for the fingers interlocked thing, or just the classic hand hold sweaty hand thing?”

“I have no idea what you just said,” he admitted, still confused by your hand grasping his gently, and you groaned before demonstrating the same two hand-holds again. Finally, it clicked, and his mouth went into an o-shape as he nodded, trying to think about which one wouldn’t be too much and not how soft your hands were, because holy fuck they were soft and she’s kind of super cute so this is great. “Fingers interlocked.”

Rami back then would have never guessed he’d be here, now, holding your hand as he helped you out of the car and straight into the mud at Rockfield Farm. Never would that scrawny little college freshman had thought he’d be on his way to get his Freddie Mercury makeup done, hand in hand with the same girl since that day, day one.

“Don’t fall!” he laughed as you slipped in the mud a bit, gripping onto his hand for dear life, and you sent him a grateful look before finally making it to concrete, where you were both reluctant to let go. But after an awkward moment of not letting go, an assistant was quick to swoop Rami up and he had to drop your hand, a mild sadness filling his features as he promised that he’d be in the third trailer down.

“Y/N?” a young woman’s voice asked you, scaring you out of your thoughts as you watched Rami trek off towards the trailer. Jumping slightly, you put a hand over your heart as you turned to the woman with the headset on, who was giving you an apologetic smile. “Sorry to scare you. I’m Kelli. Big fan. D’you want some breakfast? Rami said you’d probably be starving, so he made sure to order your favorite kind of donuts. Straight glazed, right?”

“He knows me too well,” you laughed softly, dropping your hand to your side and sending him one last glance as he disappeared into the trailer. Lingering for a moment, the creeping thought of Rami preparing so much for you to be here for just one day made a blush appear on your cheeks. “Yeah, I’m starving. Lead the way, Kelli!”

“Sweeeeeet Caroolineeeee!”

“Fuck Phi Kap!” you cheered, grinning deliriously at the blasting music as you leaned against Rami, who was attempting to navigate his way out of the bar while being just as drunk as you. He was singing along loudly, desperately wanting to stay behind and party all night but knowing that catching a cab after last call would be next to impossible. So he dragged you outside, drunkenly singing along to the music that was now muffled by the brick exterior of the building. It was chilly for a spring evening, a breezy kind of cold that alleviated the intense heat that radiated off of both of you.

“Oh, good, there’s one!” Rami slurred excitedly, pulling you over to a cab that was waiting in idle for the inevitable crush of students once it hit 1:30. Opening the door, he let you climb in first before half-falling in after you, rambling off the address of your apartment to the driver.

“Oh, fuck, I love you so much,” you giggled, throwing your arms around his shoulders and leaning on him heavily as he tried to buckle up. “You’re my best friend foreverrrr!”

“How much have you drank?” Rami laughed as he got the damned buckle into the slot finally, moving his hand to rest on your arm while you fell to rest your head in his lap. Your eyelids were still heavy with liquor, practically closed despite your best efforts to fight the feeling of the cab's soothing movement forward.

“My entire life, or just tonight?” you giggled in response, and as you looked up to Rami with low-lidded, bleary eyes, he decided he’d never seen something so beautiful in his life.

“Just tonight, dork.” He grinned even wider, rubbing your arm as you made a face of deep thought, tapping a finger to your chin for extra effect and humming curiously. His heart skipped a beat when you took his hand from your arm, lacing your fingers into his and grinning impishly. God, he would never get tired of that smile.

“S’hard to tell…. I’ve been drinking.” With that, you squeezed his hand and grinned even wider when he burst into laughter. The car began to spin a bit in your vision, so you closed your eyes and giggled as you kept his hand tightly interwoven with yours, his grasp being the only thing grounding you to reality. “I want pizza. Can we order pizza and watch a movie, please please please please?”

“It’s your apartment!” he reminded you, watching your pleasantly serene smile quirk upwards at his voice. “It’s a plan. Might have to skip our 8 am, though, I think Thirsty Thursday has fucked both of us.”

Pizza it was. You ordered a simple pepperoni and downed so much water, you got waterlogged by the time the pizza got there. When Rami went to go get it, he came back to you zonked out on the couch. You were fast asleep, snoring softly, and curled up in his jacket that he’d lent to you when you said you were cold in the cab. Gently shaking your shoulder, he crouched down next to the couch and sat the pizza on the coffee table.

“Hmph?” The quiet noise of question came out of you when he shook you another time, and your eyes blinked open sleepily to see Rami peering at you, looking a bit guilty but still mildly drunk. “Ramiiiii,” you murmured happily, a crooked smile gracing your lips, and he sent back a wide smile in return. “Cuddle with me.”

“Pizza’s here, dweeb,” he teased gently, helping you sit up and getting you a paper towel before handing you a piece. “Careful, it’s hot,” he warned, sitting next to you cross-legged and blowing on his own piece.

“Oh, okay,” you mumbled sleepily, blowing on the pizza a little bit as you fell into his side quite lightly, leaning against him and only shifting a bit when he draped his arm over your shoulder. “You’re my favorite, Rams. You’re so sweet…. You’re so nice to me!”

“Aw, don’t get all soft on me now,” he joked playfully, giving your arm a soft squeeze.

“Soft! You’re so soft,” you rambled on, ignoring his attempt to quiet you, but he didn’t try again as you rose in volume. “And you’re so great and so talented, and I love being your best friend because you get me, you know?! You really get me, and you don’t act like I’m crazy for wanting to be an actress. You’re so…. so supportive! And you’re seriously the best. I can’t imagine life without you. You’re like…. The best puppy dog ever. So loyal. And you kind of look like those ones with the eyes, you know, the Boston Terriers!”

“A Boston Terrier?” Rami repeated, smiling a bit at your mini-vent session about him to him. “I’m not sure whether that was supposed to be an insult or a compliment.” Looking down at you, he found you smiling drunkenly and watching him with wondrous eyes. He decided it was a compliment.

“So, how long have you two known each other?” Gwilym asked, looking genuinely interested in what you had to say. You’d known him from a previous project that you’d both auditioned for, so it was a delight to see him in full Brian May ensemble, holding his script in one hand and a scorching hot tea in the other. Brits and their tea.

“I met him freshman year of college in some theater class, ’99. So… about 18 years? Give or take?” Gwilym’s eyes lit up with an appreciative look, and he smiled wider as he nodded, still listening. “I sat next to him because he was the only one that laughed at my jokes.”

“They were all awful, believe me,” Rami suddenly interjected, coming up from somewhere behind you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “I laughed for your sake, darling.”

“Uh, I think you’re a big fat liar!” you laughed, bumping his hip gently with yours and eyeing the Freddie mustache/teeth combo. “I see you’re in Freddie mode now, because you’ve never called me darling before. Every nickname that starts with a d usually ends up being dweeb, or dork, or dumbass-“

“I do not call you a dumbass!” he gasped, recoiling and pulling his arm away from you in shock.

“You do so! But only when I deserve it.” He rolled his eyes, sending you a knowing look before turning his attention back to Gwilym, who was eyeing you both with a thoroughly invested expression.

“Uh-huh,” Gwilym drawled out slowly, licking his lower lip before grinning even more. “Well, it was nice seeing you, Y/N, but I’m afraid I’ve got to go grab something for breakfast before I starve to death all day. Cheers!” Carefully and quickly hugging you, he was then off in search of catering as you and Rami instead stood huddled together under the awning of one of the houses, close enough to feel each other’s body heat in the crisp morning air.

“You know Gwilym?” he asked, turning to face you and hugging himself loosely, the red and white fabric of his sweater looking puffy but a little itchy and acrylic. You nodded as you traced your eyes along the collar for a moment, then looked back up to him. A slow grin spread across your face at the sight of him, wig and makeup and all.

“We both auditioned for something,” you answered offhandedly, reaching up to fluff the wig a tiny bit. “Look at you! My god, you’re a spitting image!” After a pause, a softness took over your features, one that made Rami’s heart race as he watched you quietly, afraid that his heartbeat was audible even over the chaos of crew getting the set ready. “Freddie would be really proud, I think. I couldn’t think of anyone better to carry on his legacy.”

“Thank you,” Rami replied quietly, his voice barely above a whisper as you dropped your hand back to the coffee you were clutching in one hand, using it to warm yourself. You still watched him with the same soft look, so pure and unadulterated in its basis element, that he couldn’t mistake it for anything other than affection. And in that moment of vulnerability, despite the literal hundreds of people surrounding you, Rami released the floodgates after 18 long years. “Hey, um, I can’t believe I’m saying this to you right now of all times, with-“ he gestured to his get-up in general “-this on, but do you remember that night that we went to the bars, and you passed out on your couch while we were waiting for pizza, and I woke you up anyways because I knew that you’d want pizza right then instead of eating it in the morning?”

The question took you a bit aback, and you furrowed your eyebrows for a moment, thinking hard before nodding. “Yeah, what was that, freshman, sophomore year? And you told me to be careful about burning my mouth but I did it anyways because I’m an idiot?”

“And you got sauce all over your couch when you spit it out,” he laughed, looking off in the distance and grinning before taking a deep breath and looking back to you. “The Boston Terrier thing. Did I imagine that, or were we really that drunk?”

“We were definitely drunk, but I will say that you remind me of a Boston Terrier even when we’re sober, so you did not imagine it,” you answered, giggling a little but seeming unsure of where this was going.

“Thank god, because that makes what I’m about to say make a lot more sense.” Watching him carefully, you noticed one of his hands reach out and you took it automatically, his fingers interweaving with yours and just holding you as he spoke. “When you said you couldn’t imagine life without me that night, I thought a lot about whether I could see life without you. And I really couldn’t and that made me sad to think about it, kind of like a puppy would be sad if the owner left. So, in some sort of twisted, convoluted way, that made me realize that I was absolutely nuts about you. Crazy. Devoted. Like a dog loves its owner to death, I- I guess, it made me realize that I love you. A lot. Not in the just a friend way.”

“Rami,” you murmured nervously, a brilliant pink blush spreading across your cheeks as you glanced around at everyone passing by you, completely unaware that your best friend had just full-on told you he loved you, after years of you thinking that you were the one secretly pining over him. “Why- I just…”

“You don’t have to say it back,” he quickly added, looking a bit anxious as he searched your face for any sign of acknowledgement besides red-hot embarrassment. “I just wanted to finally get it off my chest. I thought being away from you for work would make it different, but I still do. I still love you. And I-“

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” you almost whined, pulling him in for a crushingly tight hug as he froze up for a second, not expecting that reaction. But then he relaxed as he realized you weren’t appalled, at least, so his arms snaked around you, one hand resting on your back while the other ran over the back of your head, his chin coming to rest on top of it. “I thought I was the one with a hopeless crush on you, damn it!”

“Wait, you thought that you were the one with the whole unrequited love thing?” he asked, pulling back a bit to look down at you incredulously. “You’re like, an eleven. How could you even-“

“You’re out here acting like you’re not a solid eleven as well,” you chastised gently, looking up at him with a fake-warning look. “I can’t believe that I was so freaking stupid for not telling you I loved you senior year, after graduation. I thought I’d never see you again, and that it wouldn’t matter!”

“Jesus, are you telling me that I could have told you in 2003 and we would have felt the same then too?” he groaned, looking slightly distressed as he put you at arms-length, looking you over. “I’m an idiot. Actually… we’re both big idiots, I guess.”

“I kind of like the part where you’re the only idiot, though,” you pouted teasingly, only able to hold the insulted look for a moment before you laughed, shaking your head incredulously. “Well… now what? Can I delete Tinder?”

“You use Tinder?” he asked slowly, raising an eyebrow in question and gaining a scoff from you.

“Well, I sort of have this problem where I have this friend who didn’t tell me they liked me until just now, so I was sort of casually dating in the hopes-“

“Okay, I get it, I get it!” he cut you off, laughing as he roped you into another hug, mainly to muffle your voice against his sweater. “You know, I’m not the only one who didn’t-“

“Let’s just forget about that and say we’re… a thing, now, yeah?” you suggested, your voice a bit muffled but still clear against his chest. He figured you could probably feel his heart racing, but he made a noise of agreement and kept you there anyways, just running his fingers through the side of your hair and cursing the fact that his fake teeth were hindering the whole kissing idea right now. Then, you tensed up, and his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you, following your line of vision to find that Gwilym and the real Brian May were coming straight towards the both of you, muffins in hand and identical smiles on their face. “Oh my god, Rams, pinch me.”

“No, because you’re not dreaming, dumbass,” he teased gently, letting you out of the hug as he turned to face the two men who were just yards from you. “Also, that’s mean.”

“I totally told you that you call me dumbass,” you commented, although there was no real conviction in your voice as you turned to face one of your biggest idols, huddling up against Rami for support. My boyfriend, you thought, a small smile playing at the corner of your lips. My boyfriend is about to introduce me to Brian May. Jesus, what a dream.

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