#i just. am starting to vehemently despise anything i create that im not being paid for
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#im going to assume that the fact my life is kind of falling apart rn is the main reason why im. kind of in a creative rut rn#i got hit w the very sudden feeling of ''oh my god the thing i just dedicated the past year of my life to is utter horseshit'' and.#not a great feeling to have! ngl#i think thats the reason ive been struggling to get back to working on it#(i mean. aside from the fact that i could literally lose my job any day now. and the fact that i cant secure a new one anytime soon)#idk i just. i truly in my heart thought i had something good going here#and the more i look at it the more i hate it#idk. maybe i made the right call to take a break thru the end of the year#go into it w fresh eyes in 2025#but idek if thatll make a difference#i just. am starting to vehemently despise anything i create that im not being paid for#and it really really sucks. bc art is the one joy i have in the face of the shittiest day job#i want to just erase it all and pretend it never happened#skip speaks
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