#i just wrote the answers in a google doc but forgot to actually answer the ask

[alette-stars]

Over 240,000 words, 45+ chapters, written over 4 and a half years. Blood, Water is complete. 

This post is long overdue. I finished the fic over 6 months ago (can you believe it?!) and I’ve been caught up in things offline, to put it lightly. But on the 5th (!) anniversary of the posting of the first chapter, i thought there was no better time than to, finally, put this out.

I really couldn’t have finished this work without all the love and support i received while it was being posted. I know we like to say to write for yourself, not the crowd, but god that support really motivated me and brought so much happiness to my life. And i hope i was able to return some of that to you, through my work. 

Well you’ve all waited long enough. Let’s get started!

The inspiration of fic title is given in the fic summary. Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Although this quote is attributed as the full version of the common adage blood is thicker than water, it actually isn’t! It was coined later, though i don’t know by whom. (i actually didn’t know this when i first wrote the fic, but i stand by the quote—it’s great and very fitting)

I think i came up with the title like minutes before i posted the first chapter. I ended up posting it impulsively, kind of. I knew it was gonna be a big project but i wasn’t thinking about my other ongoing fics at the moment, i was so excited and i just had to start sharing this one

The entirety of the fic was written in a Google Doc titled Vampire 8. 

Seonghwa’s favorite kaomoji (as referenced in Chapter 11) is (❁´◡`❁)

All the prominent vampires in this have ‘unsexy’ ages, and that’s on purpose. I wanted to do something different from the typical centuries-old vampires. So, instead, at roughly 200 years Seonghwa is the oldest, while Mingi would still be a young man if he hadn’t been turned

Don’t ask about the progression of time in this fic. It went on so long (i wrote this over literal years) i genuinely forgot

I like to write other idols into my fics, and this one is no exception. Most prominent would be VIXX (current and ex members) as the coven essentially in charge of the vampire world, but there’s also Monsta X’s Minhyuk, whose conversation with Yeosang was brought up in Chapter 22. 

All our main coven’s makers were named after famous Korean actors and actresses. Ji Sung for Wooyoung and Yeosang, Nam Ji Hyun for Jongho, and of course Kim Tae Hee for Seonghwa. Mingi’s maker is never referred to by name but her name is Nara, after Jang Na Ra. 

Author has a cameo in Chapter 6! Cashier staring shamelessly at Seonghwa in his full vampiric glory :’) 

Seonghwa’s real-life fits were often used as inspiration, but one was straight-up duplicated. This was of course the teal turtleneck + mushroom hair combo from the amusement park date in Chapter 13.

I did do a little color theming for some characters, but nothing too strong. We have red for Hongjoong, turquoise/teal for Seonghwa, purple for San, and gold for Yeosang. 

Another theme i love for all my writing is space. Seonghwa and his planet/star comparison is probably the most obvious. Personally, i have a lot of fondness for the framing of Wooyoung and Yeosang as the sun and moon, and then the addition of San as the Earth. 

There have been some questions about the systemic issues in world of Blood, Water that i’ve kind of avoided answering because i wanted to focus on the immediate, personal story. But basically vampires are an open secret in the world that the government continues to staunchly deny. The vampire population has historically been very, very small. Vampire society, as a whole, didn’t exist until recently. Around 20 years ago, the government decided to crack down and eliminate the vampire ‘issue’ once and for all, leading to the hunting days that cost many vampires their lives—including Yeosang and Wooyoung’s maker, Jisung. When the regime changed, the new government stopped the state-operated vampire hunting. The blood den/club business that had always operated on a small scale—accessible only to the most connected/wealthy vampires—grew and even regular vampires (and humans) could get in. This reduced the ‘mugging’ operations less well-off vampires had to resort to, but bred new problems. Increased vampire-human interactions resulted in more turnings. By the start of the Blood, Water timeline, vampire population has started to outpace the blood available at the blood dens. Vampires of a certain level of society, like Seonghwa, are strongly advised not to turn any more new vampires, because soon the problem might get too big to hide. 

Technically there is no vampire leader, although the authority everyone defers to is Hakyeon and his coven. But, as Hakyeon himself would say, they’re not a government—they’re businessmen. Anything they do—keeping the surrounding areas safe, putting down dangerous vampires, providing blood and feeders for newborns and adults—is to keep their business running smoothly. Vampire society is officially lawless so, yes, if Wooyoung wanted he could kill another vampire. 

In the 4 and a half years from conception to completion of Blood, Water, a lot of things changed. My initial conceptualization of Yeosang was as a cold, dangerous individual, one that you might think would actually hurt San. Early on i decided to go for a tragic angle, so his sensitive, selfless nature came through.

Another change that got made very, very late was Yunho and Mingi’s ending. Don’t shoot me, but i initially plotted a different, sadder ending for them. After Yunho almost dies at the big house by newborn San, Mingi gets too into his head about Yunho’s safety and they break up. They uh don’t get back together. Yunho leaves Seoul for a better opportunity (a job, possibly a dance position—one of those things Mingi could never be a part of). It’d be kind of hinted that they’d get back together, but in the future, after Mingi’s worked through more of his vampirism issues and his anxieties. Obviously this isn’t what ended up happening, but, damn, it almost did. I decided not to do this because things were getting too heavy at the end there haha.

Finally, a not-insignificant part of Blood, Water was the chapter graphics that accompanied every chapter release on Twitter. It wouldn’t have been possible without all the wonderful stock image available for use online. A full list of resources:

Chapter 1 - people partying inside room by Pim Myten

Chapter 2 - Street Night Light on pixabay

Chapter 3 - Silhouette Photography of Trees by Jesse Bowser

Chapter 4 - Orchid Flower Blossom by anncapictures 

Chapter 5 - This was a composite of two images that i think i accidentally deleted from my laptop and i cannot for the life of me find anywhere online. I’ll update this if i ever find them, i am so sorry for my carelessness omfg

Chapter 6 - Jewelry Boxes Red Blue by furud

Chapter 7 - Silver and black laptop computer by Jay Wennington

Chapter 8 - Painting Abstract Background by mondschwinge

Chapter 9 - Bridge Night Architecture by nqcoc9

Chapter 10 - Full Moon Night Sky by Pexels

Chapter 11 - Sunset clouds background from the National Park Service

Chapter 12 - Fully made by yours truly

Chapter 13 - Ferris Wheel Night Shot by CloudyBird

Chapter 14 - Amaryllis Flower White Open by Sponchia

Chapter 15 - half filled wine glass beside half empty clear pint glass by Sérgio Alves Santos

Chapter 16 - Glass Piece Broken by qimono

Chapter 17 - Macarons Dessert Food by TheoCrazzolara

Chapter 18 - white pillows by Anastasia Mezenina

Chapter 19 - Daniel von Appen on unsplash. I believe the original image has been deleted

Chapter 20 - Cfl Spiral Lamp by Public Domain Pictures

Chapter 21 - a red and blue painting of a building by Jr Korpa

Chapter 22 - Red rose in dark room by Ben Decoster

Chapter 23 - Cakes Strawberry Sweetness by Alexas_Fotos

Chapter 24 - Nature Fire Flames by StockSnap

Chapter 25 - Milky way by Ivana Cajina

Chapter 26 - Sunset branches silhouette by lovexxpeace

Chapter 27 - Lightning Thunderstorm Night by anvel

Chapter 28 - Chandelier Glass by Tedd

Chapter 29 - Splatter, Blood, Paint by Clker-free-vector-images

Chapter 30 - Clear glass wine by Luke Besley

Chapter 31 - white cushion on bed near brown wooden nightstand by Annie Spratt

Chapter 32 - Blood Moon on a Dark Sky by Roberto Nickson

Chapter 33 - Red Light Behind a Door by Jamal Yahyayev

Chapter 34 - Flower White Wilt Black by bmartinseattle

Chapter 35 - Brown wooden bed frame with red bed sheet by Janko Ferlič

Chapter 36 - An Open Red Flush Door by Kei Scampa

Chapter 37 - two arcade cabinets by Ben Neale

Chapter 38 - Gambling Chance Luck by Ogutier

Chapter 39 - time lapse photography of cars during nighttime by Roman

Chapter 40 - Vine Plant Sprout by ngyuenbuihoai

Chapter 41 - Gold Pocket Watch by John

Chapter 42 - red and yellow thread in needle by amirali mirhashemian

Chapter 43 - Red hibiscus flower photo by Kai Oberhäuser

Chapter 44 - Node Red Knot by moritz320

Chapter 45 - Lighted Brown Bridge by Burst

Chapter 46 - Brown wooden framed glass window by Tim Rüßmann

Chapter 47 - the same as Chapter 1, people partying inside room by Pim Myten

You can find all the edited images in the Twitter thread. 

Fun fact: all the images follow the red/black/white color scheme, with one very glaring exception: Chapter 22 (and to a lesser extent Chapter 25) 

If you have any further questions (which i didn't cover in this super long post...) you can reach out to me on Twitter or retrospring!

Well, we’ve done it. We’re at the end of this post. Pretty long-winded but i figured if we could power through 240k words of the fic, we can survive a few paragraphs of my rambling. Thank you all again, so, so much, for all the love and support you’ve given my work. I really could never have done it without you. It was an honor and a blessing to go on this journey with you, and i wouldn’t give it up for anything. 

So what’s next? Keen readers might’ve noticed Blood, Water is part of a series, titled Ties of Blood and Silver. I do have plans for a direct sequel. Yes, our vampire boys will be back! With new challenges, new angst, and even new relationships. I’m organizing shit in my real life so it won’t be starting immediately, but you can all look forward to it! Until then, thank you, i love you, and see you all around ♡

[luxusdollhouse]

📖"what has surprised you about your WIPs?" for the behind the scenes writing ask game!

Omg hi cori 🥺

I have so many forgotten about wips in my google docs ngl, every once in a while i like to go in and reorganize everything so its all in its own place and sometimes i find old shit that i totally forgot about …. With my main fic i actually came up with and developed the idea VERY QUICKLY after i first came up with it (it isnt “quick” to normal people, as it was about a 6 month period from when i first came up with the idea and then published the first chapter, but for me that is quick lol)

But bc of that i kind of have like… a bunch of little half finished wips of early chapters? A lot of them were just drabbles i wrote to get a feel for everyone’s characters, i think the one that surprised me the most was this very very very early chapter (from when this fic was going a super different way) that was actually about how luxu died . Dropped ot about half way thru bc I wasn’t feeling it + the way i wanted it written changed (if you ever wanna see/hear about early au stuff lmk because i can yap about it LMAO)

Tldr idk if i actually answered the question but to me i did so im calling it a day . Thank u for coming to my ted talk

[welcomehomerandomness]

Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (7/22/2023) Part 1 (SPOILERS)

Hey guys! Today I'm gonna show you my reactions to the Welcome Home website via my notes on Google Docs. I wrote 5 pages and spent around 5 or 6 hours exploring the website lol. Hope you enjoy it! Here's Part 1!

NEW HOME ART

The little Home doodle is so cute omg

FRANK AND BARNABY’S VOICES IN “ANSWER” OMG

Barnaby’s voice is honestly like a mix of Rowlf and Fozzie from the Muppets which matches well with his personality

Frank’s voice is like a mix of Gonzo from the Muppets and Gyro from DuckTales (the 2017 one)

THERE’S A GLITCH AT THE END WHAT

The Frank and Julie sprites on the FAQ page is so cute

THE STICKERS ARE SO CUTE

THE SEASONAL BANNERS

Wally and Barnaby (Winter), Frank and Eddie (Spring), Sally and Julie (Summer), and Howdy and Poppy (Fall/Autumn)

I just realized the golden flowers on Home’s sticker give me Undertale vibes

The Frank and Julie sprites on the News page is so cute too

Question Answerer seems sus

THE NEIGHBORS HAVE AUDIO WITH TEXT TRANSCRIPTS I REPEAT THE NEIGHBORS HAVE AUDIO WITH TEXT TRANSCRIPTS

“That’s the most!” Awww Wally

The drumroll on Barnaby’s audio and his little awkward laugh I love him

Yes Julie let’s play a game with a pogo stick, a bowl of pasta, and a pair of roller skates and cause chaos in the Neighborhood lol

I swear I will be depresso if Frank, Eddie, and Howdy get hurt or die…Those three are on my top 3 favorite WH characters (in no specific order) :(

I should make a list of favorite Welcome Home neighbors lol

Anyways

YES FRANK YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

I love Eddie’s Southern accent and the way he talks sorta reminds me of Launchpad from DuckTales (the 2017 one)

Awww Eddie is scared of a bug and he wants Frank’s help awww

Eddie doesn’t want his paper chains to be ruined :(

I realized the Frank and Eddie one is also called “answer” and so far the two videos mention bugs and Frank is in each video

HOWDY’S VOICE

He definitely sounds like one of those people working on radio stations

I feel like if he’s not a shopkeeper, he would definitely work on a radio station

Howdy’s Radio Podcast when???

Sally’s voice is so dramatic and I love it

*insert scared Poppy chicken/bird noise*

Also is Poppy alright? I’m kinda worried :(

The voices of the neighbors are fantastic so far the voice actors did really great in their roles :D

Poppy and Frank = best cooking/baking duo

I wonder what those seed things taste like…They probably taste good

Frank mentions Wally eating with his eyes

The third “answer” video with Poppy and Frank mentioning butterflies

I love the Sally and Howdy sprites on the Merchandise page

The “duet” page with Wally on the phone is kinda eerie

Wally sounds dead inside

I love you too Wally lol

The rimshot and horn honk on Barnaby’s phone audio lol

Don’t worry Barnaby your jokes always make me laugh

I love Barnaby’s little “Buh bye!”

I reread "It's-For-You!" Talking Telephone Toy page, I thought it said “Mario, Inc.” instead of “Marlo, Inc.”

Super Mario is canon in this universe jk

Julie’s voice is freaking adorable

I wanna listen to Frank’s bug facts everyday

Frank freaking slanders Barnaby

I love Eddie’s jingle

I wanna get some school supplies from Eddie now lol

I love Howdy’s laughs lol

Protect Howdy at all costs

I love the “ta-da!” jingle from Sally

“…I said ‘Hellooo!’ That’s your cue!” Sally radiates theater kid energy and I love her

Poor Poppy doesn’t know how a phone works :(

*insert more scared Poppy chicken/bird noises*

Howdy’s and Frank’s letters to Wally are so wholesome

I love the insect sketches

Sally calls Julie “Juliet” that’s a cute name

Eddie is the most OP character lol

But can Eddie beat Goku tho???

I think Howdy is OP too but who knows

Julie asking Eddie to catch him is basically the “If I run and leap at Terry” scene from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Also I actually don’t watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine btw I just know the memes

Anyways

When Frank said “Oh my”, I imagine them blushing asdfghjkl

I forgot to put this here but I love when Frank calls Eddie “Mr. Dear” that’s so cute

I love Julie and Frank’s besties dynamic in the “answer” video

PUPPET WALLY’S REFLECTION ON ONE OF THE RECORDS

I wanna buy every single merch if they are real lol

The live interview reminds me of those Muppet and Sesame Street interviews and it’s quite charming ngl

“Oh no, I don’t know. I love everyone. I love my friends.” Wally poly confirmed???

The interviewer’s name is Rick (and Morty asdfghjkl)

Miss Beagle is mentioned!!!

“I tell ya, we got a neighbor who's got an arm like a professional baseball player! It’s not easy!” Is Barnaby talking about Julie or Eddie?

I want to watch the "Julie-rella" segment so bad

Also Fairy "Dog"-mother lmao

Hopscotch To The Max wtf hahaha

“It took us an hour to get you down off Howdy's roof, and we still don’t know where the green chalk went…” Julie, you played hopscotch on Howdy’s roof???

I love Frank’s and Julie’s singing voices

I love how Barnaby just barges in and Frank is like “wtf”

I love Barnaby’s singing voice too

“Aw. I wanted to learn the colors.” Awww Wally is so adorable

“Wally, don’t look! He’s INDECENT!” That actually made me laugh even as I’m rereading the transcript and typing this down

A wild Howdy appears! *insert Pokemon battle music*

Also some of the “Just So” song demo seems to be distorted…That’s sus

The concept art of Julie’s “Just So” Bowling Dress is so cute

I also love how Frank and Julie wear outfits that match the games they play that’s so wholesome

Howdy’s laughs cure my depression

I love Howdy slapping the countertop when he laughs

Sole and Lyco awww

Awww Frank’s little “thank you”

“I’m sorry, I’ll see what I can do.” AWWW

I love when Julie translates to what Frank’s plants are saying it’s so wholesome

Eddie: *talks about the entire plot of Jack and the Beanstalk which involves Jack climbing up the beanstalk, encountering a giant, and cutting down the beanstalk with a big ax*

Poppy who is dressed as the beanstalk: Haha. I’m in danger.

Wally’s puppet hands are holding some yarn in “answer” but he seems that he’s not moving…

I can barely hear Poppy and Howdy’s dialogue in the videeo since I don’t have headphones on but I assume it’s a friendly conversation as usual since I can hear Howdy’s laugh lol

Wally’s hand trying to grab the cup of tea??? coffee??? in “answer”

Poppy and Sally talking about plays as usual lol

A human hand??? With a glove???

I don’t know who this human is but I’m pretty sure she’s a Howdy fan lol

I’m answering the Welcome Home worksheet because why not lol

1) Barnaby 2) Sally 3) Poppy 4) Julie 5) Wally

Now where’s my prize/j

I’m guessing that Wally replica puppet is going to come to life lol

I wanna go to this exhibition so bad if this is real lol

Awww the Poppy and Barnaby sprites…

I accidentally clicked the “Hello” doodle on the Guestbook and I’m scared

The page is called “Find”

Wally??? Wally you ok???

[cchapsticck]

20 Questions for fic writers

@dreamwatch tagged me and I actually woke up with enough time to do things before I need to go into work

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 - Which is very surprising to me considering my reluctance to release anything beyond my google docs for many years.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

142,085 lord

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things (but Eddie Munson in specific honestly) primarily, but I've got some Baldur's Gate and Critical Role in the tubes right now too. The unifying theme here being I Am A Tremendous Nerd Who Likes DnD

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

UNTITLED RECORDING rcd ca. 1987-1988 in the #1 slot by a wide margin, followed by ANACRUSIS ca. 1987, head line, wait, runner, and sunflower broke.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I sincerely try to! I am bad at accepting compliments or feedback so I always feel like I'm giving these sort of boilerplate platitudes and thanks and I wish I could accurately capture me reading every comment about 15 times kicking my leg under my desk. I try to be loudly receptive to the feedback I get. People took the time to read and respond! They don't have to do that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

At first when I was going to respond to this I thought to myself "I'm not sure I really have a lot of fics that end with angst- oh its dog." Its dog. Its dog at the door. Its absolutely dog at the door. I apparently forgot I wrote it, but its dog.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't necessarily think of myself who writes things with uncomplicated, expressly happy endings. I think a lot of my work that does end hopefully ends with a kind of watery fragile kind of happy. That probably says something about me but maybe it doesn't. But, to answer the question properly, I think head line is probably the least complicated sense of happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I've been made aware of. I'm sure that my writing style and my takes on characters are not everyone's cup of tea, but that's just the mark of a healthy fandom ecosystem. I'm also not a very """""big""""" writer so ain't no one looking at me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have in the past, but I've never felt very confident in my writing when I do. I don't really feel like I can craft very erotic or romantic scenarios when it comes to physical expressions of sexuality, maybe its my writing style working against me or its just a generalized internal cringe @ me when I do. So these days I tend to skirt around it or speak more evocatively when necessary. I just feel like a total fucking goober when I start getting more direct and descriptive.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Always curious what constitutes as a crossover and what constitutes as an AU to some - ao3 tagging seems to muddy the waters for me. Because if you tag the source material for your AU it looks like a crossover but maybe you're simply using the world's logic but none of its characters? And that feels different to me than a strict crossover where characters from other titles are interacting with each other. Y'know? Instructions unclear wrote a DnD AU, one's mileage may vary if that's a crossover or not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

That's a thing? I mean. I guess people translating without attribution or reposting fics on other platforms is a thing. I guess that's that. Huh.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? Not really? I definitely have played in the sandbox with @cwstau and their work, and have my own little toenail clipping a thing based on that work. I've done a little art here and there, and served as a sounding board, to a certain extent, in the formative stages of that fic's life but all of the heavy lifting is exclusively L's work. And while none of it will ever see the light of day I've also definitely theory crafted entire character dynamics and, sort of, speculative futures with friends in DMs. A lot of Yes And-ing each other about the threads we'll pull on.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Man don't ask me that. I'm all over the road, I'm in the wind. I'll be hard in the paint on one thing and then something old will reemerge on the breeze and I just go back to places I one dwelled and be insane there.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

lol any of them. Seriously, the fact that I have finished and published 10 things this year is a testament to. Something. I have no idea what. Something, because I have never been this kind of productive in many many moons and that productivity is a fickle thing that could leave just as soon as its arrived. My google docs is a graveyard of fics I've started and stopped and had grand plans for and mostly finished or entirely finished but never did anything with.

16. What are your writing strengths?

hahah bad at this question but I think I am good at research, when the fic in question demands it. I like to think I can synthesize that research into interesting things when the fic calls for it. I also think I can do cool things with character voice? At least, I always want to try to be interesting with that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am very bad at drafting, which is to say I often don't and I get frustrated and discouraged when I can't articulate myself the way I want on the first pass - which is particularly sore spot for me when I always feel like I'm trying to do things very intentionally with character voice and interpretation. I never feel super confident with my dialogue either. I'll write internal monologues for several thousand words but the minute two characters need to have an honest to god conversation I forget how human speech works. I'm also just bad at being concise. I really struggle to just let things stand, it is very hard for me to do those "200 words" writing prompt challenges because I'll start on one concept and my brain branches into a million other places this could go with a lot of detail and intersecting relevance and it can be so so hard for me to kill my darlings.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think there's a due diligence required when writing for and in languages you, yourself, don't speak. Google translate isn't necessarily a viable solution to your multi-lingual needs, which I think everyone knows so its not like that's a bold stance. Seek out native speakers, ask for feedback, etc. When its my own work I try not to overly complicate the matter, if all parties in the fiction understand the language I'm going to keep writing in the language of the fic itself. There's a fandom I'm a part of that, in canon, uses German as a proxy language for a fantasy language - which is a language I am conversationally fluent in - and even then I find myself hesitant to just indulge in peppering in German words and phrases because that's just, in my experience, not how of multilingual people use language. Authenticity sort of matters in that regard, and there's a weird artificial presentational-ness to just jamming vocabulary words of other languages into dialogue or text that isn't justified by the character or the conversation itself. idk where I'm going with this.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Weeaboo past revealed: I'm pretty sure it was KHR but I cannot be sure anymore.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This fluctuates based on which one I'm less mad about when I think about it retrospect on any given day, but I think UNTITLED stands as a testament to me writing in long(ish) form, something I've never done before, and was where I really learned a lot about character voice and how to use it. There's plenty I think I'd change or edit now (honestly, was talking to a friend about making a director's cut of some of the chapters of the whole MH series) but it was a big undertaking and I met a lot of really excellent people through the writing and response to that particular fic.

No pressure tags for: @cwstau, @nameslikeguns, @greenlikethesea, @dodger-chan

[halobeast10]

So I used to be the lead writer for Friday Night Funkin’ Minus.

In my spare time, I have been taking the old script I wrote for the mod and rewriting it. I'm now free to write the full story the way I had originally envisioned it without having to worry about length.

I posted this on twitter a while ago. It’s the tutorial through week 3 script for Friday Night Funkin’ Minus. It only has Beta, Blue, and Mean right now. Golden BF has been written up to week 4, but I was gonna release a new document that includes him in the week 4 script update. That will be releasing soon. It’s actually been done for a while, but the people I sent it to kinda...forgot to look it over for me. Progress slowed for a  while I dealt with a burnout and went to work on other projects to combat it. I wrote a small short story for minus that I will post later. After I finish the current Minus short story i am working on, I'll go back to the main script. Beta week 5 is already done and Mean was in progress last time I worked on it

Feel free to send me questions you have about Minus, I love to answer them. Until Iago states otherwise, what I have written is the old canon and how the story goes. Even if he strikes down this canon, I'll just call it “Old Minus” or “Scrapped Minus” and it’ll go on to be it’s own thing. I had planned out this whole story until after week 7. Like I said: this is how the story was set to go before this version got cancelled in early 2022.

Anyway, enough rambling. The link below leads to the google doc that has the current released rough draft of Minus. Let me know if you like it. There is more coming. I promise. Much like I told Iago when he cancelled the first project in early 2022, I ain’t letting this story die.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rxiravjt5Om4s7X47J_WCjmjwSsFrZo6pQ6JGDcQXMU/edit?usp=sharing

[laumalikbarnes]

Hey, so i decided to post something here :) I'm an Wattpad writer and i have some readers there, so I believe it can also work here :) just a remind:

*English is not my first idiom!!* Actually, i still learning, I wrote it on Google docs and correct the English in the Google translate, so, if there's something wrong, ignore it, please :)

*warning*: nightmare! It's just a cute imagine of Oscar Piastri cause him is very forgetful in the F1 fandom. Enjoy it! <3

— hmm... Hi? - you whisper when the phone is answered, you're not sure why because you're home alone.

- What happened, honey? — the voice on the other end of the line is thick and sends a shiver down your spine, Oscar must have woken up already, makes sense considering it's 3 am.

“I… Hm… I had a nightmare…” Your voice is still low, you're embarrassed. All of a sudden, calling your boyfriend in the middle of the twilight when he's halfway across the world just because you had a nightmare seems ridiculous. "I'm sorry honey, I..."

You say it, but you're interrupted by Oscar's sleepy voice, you feel your stomach twist, you love the young man's Piastri voice, even more so when he's sleepy.

"no need to worry, my love, come on, tell me everything you dreamed of." he asks, you hear the sound of something calling and the music of Lando's sleepy voice.

— I dreamed that… — you sigh, afraid that if you say it out loud, it will become even more real.

— come on, my little one, tell me, it was just a nightmare, it can't be that bad… —he asks, you curl up a little under the sheets, pulling your legs towards you.

“I… dreamed it was raining on your run… your car skids and… hits the sergeant… head trauma… affecting your memory… you forgot about us…” you sniff, he's sensitive after that nightmare, it was too real to just ignore.

Oscar is silent for a few seconds, speaking after a sigh.

"I need you to relax, okay?" None of this will happen, it's just a nightmare my little one, it doesn't affect reality, okay? Can you relax for me? I can't go back to London to hug you right now, but I'm here for security, okay? nothing bad is going to happen tomorrow, on the contrary, I'm going to be in the top 3 in my GP at home and I'm going to talk about you in every interview, but I need you to relax first, ok? — his voice is peaceful and you would like to see him, his eyes would be so kind right now…

“Okay,” you say, sniffling one last time. You spend a few minutes in silence, just listening to each other's breathing, trying to believe that he is telling the truth.

“I love you,” he says, that Australian accent that makes your heart race. Do you remember how you loved the British accent before you knew the Oscar accent.

Because nobody's British was cool when compared to your Aussie.

— thank you…- you whisper, appreciating the way he makes you feel safe, even being an ocean away.

— always a pleasure, my little one. —you hear him moving on the sheet, both rooms are quiet. The feeling is so good that it feels like you are in a parallel reality.

— I... - you yawn and before you can say anything else, Oscar speaks.

“It's too late for you to stay awake, little girl. I know you have an exam tomorrow, so close those pretty, fluffy eyes of you that I love so much and rest. I need my future doctor no later than tomorrow — you smile sleepily, happy to hear his voice and he keeps talking — when I get back to London, I'll take you in the buggies bump bump, I could take you in the kart, but I don't no I want to risk it, my medical future is too precious to risk it. I need to keep her safe and to myself, I'm sure I'll be needing a doctor like you in the very near future...

He kept talking for a few more minutes, but you didn't listen. You fall asleep between a sweet phrase that Oscar was saying to you in any twilight, a smile on your face and a heart full of warmth.

Oh, it's so good love Oscar Piastri…

[iztopher]

gee i wonder what questions i should ask from the ask meme you just reblogged. oh i know. how about: All Of Them

(jk just do the ones you want but i am VERY curious and would love to hear your thoughts)

EHEHE it is always my pleasure! this took me a hot sec for Several Reasons, one of them being i ... got distracted by writing fanfic...

i've already answered some here and here, but here's the remainder:

Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Actually, not that I can think of. That sounds fun tho

Do you have a beta reader?

Usually! I enlist various different friends depending on fic haha. Sometimes though I just wing it

Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.

I actually forgot to include this answer in my last one where I was prompted it, so: I feel like my writing is... very me? I've shared excerpts of my work before and friends have been like of Course you wrote that Iz and it makes me feel good. I'd also like to think it's direct/easy to understand while still being interesting, but, well, I'm biased on that regard LOL.

First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

okay actually genuinely I love them. the most appealing part of characters kissing to me is figuring out Why they want to smash their mouths together and first kiss fics are some of the most dedicated to distilling that question to its essence and building the scene/fic around it. SUPER fun!

Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

yes, pretty much always! lately i've been repeating Middle Distance Runner by Sea Wolf (I fall back on this one a lot, I like listening to it for introspective scenes) and That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil.

What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

mostly microsoft word, sometimes google docs (if I'm writing on the go), and, when I'm particularly stuck or just getting started, directly in AO3

Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

sooooo many. even more of them are "shelved" / liable to come back from the dead one day, though.

Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

yes! Most people, lol.

Do you drink and write?

LMAO NO i tried this once but alcohol literally only makes me sleepy so i cannot do anything creative if i've been drinking.

Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

I have, in the past, attempted the spicy stuffs, but I've never posted it LMAO. I did, however, use to pass them around for friends on Google Docs, which means I do have a most popular NSFW fic. i wrote it in high school. it was way more comedy than smut. the fake official name was "there's a first time for everything" but nobody has ever called it anything other than HJAU, which stands for. well. hand job alternative universe. don't worry about it!

Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

either early morning (coffee time), mid/late afternoon (coffee time again), or once it's dark out.

How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I LOVE them.

What's a trope you will never write?

okay I make enough snarky comments about writing tropes I don't like into something that I do, or criticizes the aspects I don't like of them, where it's hard for me to say "never". but probably soulmate AUs - people do interesting stuff with them, but I don't trust myself to be one of those people.

Would you ever open commissions?

nahhh, my writing is too... selective for that LMAO. also it's more fun for me for it to be a hobby i don't make money from. i want to take more requests, though! once i finish my first set.

What's your most popular fic?

by kudos, Freckles!

Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I do not, but am I allowed to recommend someone else's holiday inspired fic in response to this? because I adore The Annual Pendragon-Johnson Hannuchristmas Double Holiday Banquet and Bash series by Ishti.

Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

I've never posted a multichap where this would be relevant before, but it would be super cool if that did happen when/if I post more plot-y fic.

How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

oh my god i LOVE them. I've gotten one piece of fanart directly based on one of my fics and it was lovely.

How many fics do you have?

currently on AO3, 14!

Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

mix of both, really depends on the fic. if I'm feeling cocky and think I can knock it out in a sitting or two, seat of my pants, if not, outline.

What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

write what you want to read, and for an intended audience of you and like, 1-5 cool people you know will read it. other people may read it too, and if they do, that Rules, but it's so much easier to embrace fanfic as a labor of love if your primary focus is on you and your friends having fun.

Who's your comfort character?

I don't really use this term ever LOL. I definitely explore like... vent-y stuff most often through ... galahad ... though.

Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

no character was picked for this :P

Who is your favorite character to write?

Te'ijal and Galahad tied.

Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

currently posted online? none! however, uh, I'm working on something right now that I can't decide if I want to post specifically because the answer to this question would immediately become the fic in question.

What leads you to consider a fic a success?

did my friends like it :) bonus points for if people point out in comments parts I was especially proud of when writing. OR: if I go back and read it in a few months, does it make me feel the way I wanted it to make a reader feel.

Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

oh boy no jhdskgjsdf

How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

SOBS. I have no idea because I'm a horrible multitasker who will work on 20 fics at once. lately, though, since I've started sitting down and focusing on one fic at a time, it tends to be in the 2 days to 2 weeks range.

What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

romance is like pulling teeth for me, which is unfortunate because there's so many ships in Aveyond I feel the "SOMEBODY'S gotta do it" emotion about

How do you feel about criticism?

from friends I appreciate it, and I appreciate it from anyone when WIPs are sent. but I am very glad to have never received unasked for criticism from a stranger on a finished fic lol

Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

i love making "implied/referenced (character/ship)" jokes

How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I LOVE it, omg, questions about my fics are super welcome and in fact would make my day! (that's part of why I love doing these memes)

[cipherdoesshit]

Alright, sorry for long post, I'll be answering every single question here...

1. Default, I only format after writing the whole thing.

2. Nothing can stop me from writing smut, so yeah, 6000 word chapter about my OCs coming up, now illegible in my own handwriting :P

3. Alright, in steps now:

1. go to sleep

2. wake up

3. ???

4. STORY WRITTEN!!

4. Lithe /pos (I will do anything to be called lithe)

5. None, actually, I just write

6. That I create a plot hole which would make me have to rewrite the entire chapter

7. Being able to write about anything in any amount of detail I can... even the NSFW stuff

8. Action, because dialogue is not often indicative of what happens and we can have a compelling smut written without a single word spoken.

9. No, but I sometimes hope that they could be real. I don't have stories on ghosts tho

10. OH YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE... I published one of my first smut things on Wattpad and then I forgot the password to the account, now I just hope it doesn't become popular... BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT FUCKING POKEMON RGAHGAHGHG

11. I kill who I have to kill. I still believe in plot armour for the main characters, but otherwise everyone is vulnerable.

12. Be able to write every thought in my brain exactly how I imagine it; Translation abilities into every language on Earth and beyond; Have every piece I write become popular very quickly, but not immediately.

13. Many things are easy, but I suppose physical descriptions of people are still kinda hard. I really enjoy writing action and environment tho.

14. I literally don't have any books................... or IRL friends...........................................

15. Writing in the margins of your book is a pretty good way of annotation, but I prefer those little colourful stick-it notes. Dog-earing is disgusting, but I won't judge if it's an addiction or habit or stim that you have. But please don't read in the bath. Just... no. Your book slips and it's over.

16. A stick. It had tree sap on it and got stuck to the page.

17. [TEXT EXPUNGED, LENGTH EXCEEDED 10^51 CHARACTERS, EXCLUDING SPACES]

18. I dunno, there's nothing really notable yet.

19. I started about when I was 14 or 15, I woke up from a wet dream and wanted to write smut SO BAD. So I did (yes, the Pokemon one). Wrote about 3000 words in one night in one chapter. Wrote two more chapters the next day, each also about 3000 words, because it was the weekend. And I didn't stop since. Learned to draw, made some OCs, attached a story, and now I want to write that. Nothing notable.

20. I don't have WIPs, I often wait for enough inspiration to last me through the entire thing.

21. I could definitely quit writing. But I won't. There's always something to write about.

22. Google Drive, just create a new Google doc, but name it properly so I can look for it easily. I don't organise it. At all. Just a mishmash of google docs in the home page of my google drive...

23. I... think I'll skip because it'd get too long.

24. None. Nope. Writing idea pops up and I write for multiple hours. Somehow, the story makes sense and has almost no plot holes.

25. I won't because I'd get into some VERY NSFW topics about furries.........

26. I basically become my character. My imagination is incredible, so I can basically act EXACTLY like my characters. I often imagine entire conversations between me and my OCs, all of them IN CHARACTER.

27. A dragon that is a drug dealer in a fantasy world, traumatised from war... If I ever release what I write, it'll make sense.

28. A custom species girl that got traumatised because of her name... Once again, it'll make sense if people read my story once I release it.

29. Song. All of them. No, not anything classical. Not Weezer. Not Lemon Demon. No pop. No rock. No pop rock. No J-pop. No K-pop. None of that shit. I will listen to Japanese speedcore, hardcore, hardstyle, extratone, frenchcore, neurofunk, etc., often of the symphonic variant, and take my inspiration from there.

30. Wet dreams. Otherwise my ideas come from waking moments.

31. I have no readers.

32. I don't read almost at all, so there's that. Yes, I write without reading anything...

33. Drawing. I design my characters to have a better picture of how they look so descriptions in my writing are much more accurate.

34. YES, usage of it is important. Beautiful distinction. Use it if you can. If you don't, have fun with eating turkey and your family and dog.

35. None. I don't even know any rules from the top of my mind. If I read some rule that makes sense, I incorporate it into my ways of writing and continue.

36. LINGUISTICS. And economy and biology... And I want to know about the military.

37. That I was a horny motherfucker...

38. No editing. None at all. I write something and keep it that way. The first draft IS the final draft.

39. A two month break.

40.

A Copper Sword Instead of a Bouquet of Flowers

Holding a copper sword in my hand,

I wonder where the copper came from,

How it moved from hand to hand,

And what I am in its ultimate form.

There were buyers, miners, forgers,

All the people you could think.

But I know none of those corners,

Of the circle of life of this thing.

But other people think the same about me,

We’re all the same in the eyes of the sword,

This copper sword now suddenly,

Has now the ultimate say in the word.

I’m nothing more than just a passing,

I’m not even a blink of a pair of eyes.

For this sword has only been born,

And is awaiting its ultimate demise.

I feel cold, really cold,

So I hold the sword to protect me.

Maybe if I take it into the afterlife,

Nothing will really affect me.

I should just focus on killing my enemies,

Yet I can’t help but think,

How this fact happens with everything,

Even in the best of families.

Everything is left behind one day,

No one can stay behind forever.

But now I can’t forget,

The day I rest in the eyes of my daughter.

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[aashiqui-aashiqui]

hiiiii 💜📝🔥💌🌺

hello anon!! okay i keep forgetting what each of these mean so im gonna copy and paste and then answer so its easier for me

💜 describe yourself in five words or less!

umm this one is hard unfortunately but i’ll do my best. i guess ill go with: always happy and hopeful. only because i consider myself to be optimistic and generally a happy person regardless of anything.

📝 last thing you wrote

the boring truth is that it’s academic in nature but i have wrote fic before even if that is collecting dust in google docs. but that was quite a while ago actually back in dec 2023. it was cricket rpf if you want to know

🔥 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you

anon im gonna be so honest my life is incredibly boring so i don’t think i have had anything crazy happen to me but just the usual stuff that goes on in everyones lives. although the friend group drama was a little bit too much this year but it’s whatever.

💌 why did you start this blog?

oh this one is easy! i actually have had other blogs in the past but i didn’t do much on them, like one was a lurker account and the other was a reblog only one, so i made this one to just say random stuff i wanted without it messing the other ones up. and then i forgot the passwords to my other blogs anyway but thats not important…

🌺 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important

im not generally a someone who enjoys gifts greatly because i don’t consider myself a materialistic person but i tend to like practical gifts a ton! things i know i will use often, like my friend got me a set of earrings and i wore them so often because it just worked out. i also like books as a gift for that reason because i love reading and re-reading books! but yeah i cant think of a standout gift because im just always grateful someone thought of me when i do get one <33

anyway im sorry this was so long!! but thank you for asking <333

[devintrinidad]

7, 14, 66, 73 for the 100 question ask game!

Hey, Devin here! Thanks for all the questions! :D

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

Ohhhh, that's a good one! I'm not sure if anyone knows this, but the first fanfic I ever published was on ffnet!

HOWEVER, the first fanfic I ever wrote (which was on an old legal yellow pad written in sharpie) was for Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Yes, not even joking.

If I remember correctly, I think I wrote about Sharkboy and Lavagirl having a child (forgot the gender???) and how their child was going to save the world. It's basically a next gen au that was badly written and never saw the light of day hahaha!

14. what’s your worst writing habit? 

Oohhhhh! I already wrote an answer to that exact question! (That is to say, I don't do rewrites even thought that is pretty beneficial and pretty much necessary for people who aspire to be publishing original fiction). However, I'll give another worst writing habit!

Since I mostly focus on writing fanfic... Sometimes, I write fanfic for fandoms that I haven't touched in years. Like, I'll write something for Hetalia or Death Note and I just go off the memories and the feelings that I get from when I used to be obsessed with them. Of course, there are times when I need to rewatch certain scenes or look up quotes, but most of the time, I don't go and rewatch animes, reread books, or rewatch playthroughts of the fandoms I write fanfic for.

(I have yet to be called out for mischaracterization, so I must either have a good memory or my writing is just that good!)

66. when have you felt the most confident in your writing? 

Never???

I mean, I don't feel trepidation when writing or uploading my fanfic, but at the same time, I don't feel overly proud or confident in my work? It's not that I'm proud of myself, but I feel like... I've reached a plateau?

Like, I know I write well. I know that I have the skill to fully convey what I have in my mind's eye and transcribe it into written form. I know what my writing is worth and I'm satisfied with it.

If you mean an aspect of my writing and not the publishing-for-the-entire-world-to-see aspect... I think I write dialogue, setting, and background lore well? All of them took years to hone, but I think I'm correct in saying that I have improved over the decade or so I've been writing my work.

73. how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

Another good question! It's a combination of both! S

ometimes, I'll get.. not visions, per se, but I'll see characters blocked a certain way, saying certain things that I need to write them down. Other times, my internal monologue will be overtaken by what seems to be an ever evolving script that I can hear and will only go away once I put that monologue into actual, tangible writing.

It's one or the other at times, but it's pretty fun, especially when my hands finally join in the fun and get to pick out what stays in my head and what actually gets transcribed onto the page.

100. open question to the writer.

Ooohhhh! I think you're allowed to ask me anything that hasn't been asked already in the original game! If you ever feel like asking me something else, feel free to do so! For now, though... I'll choose...

28. handwritten notes or typed notes?

Oohhhhh! I'm not sure if this is common knowledge or not??? I feel like I've told people this, but I write my stories on paper first! And then I transcribe them into Microsoft Word/Google Doc once the majority of the story has already been written!

Handwritten notes seem more personal? And I'm not distracted by the bright lights and the open ended nature of a laptop.

That said, there are times when my hadnwriting is a trial in and of itself when I have to reread them lol.

Thanks for the questions and I hope that you have a wonderful day! (Don't be a stranger, I hope to hear from you again soon! It's been so long :D)

[serenfire]

Hey! I came here from glitched, and for whatever reason, tumblr absolutely refuses to let the devlog tag load for me, so my apologies if you've answered this before, but- how did you get the idea for glitched? Was it always going to be in this format of tumblr posts/ao3, or did that occur to you later?

Also, absolutely no pressure, but is the project still ongoing?

Hello! The tag redirects here, and I'll check my blog settings to see if there's a problem with it. It's the tag #glitched devlog, if the link doesn't work for you.

The project is in theory ongoing!, and in practice going very very slowly!! I had a bit of a crisis stemming from a med shortage at the beginning of the year, and all of Jan-Feb sucked expeditiously. It was just at the beginning of this month that I've been able to get back on my feet, but through the whole time I have been thinking about glitched every day! So it's going to happen. I believe in myself :)

(I guess it was good timing that the breakdown happened right before I made an official post outlining the plan to continue glitched, because that would have been blown out of the water. But, instead of hearing anything from me, I guess what happened was I released the demo as part of NaNoWriMo and then went completely radio silent! lol)

As for the inspiration behind glitched (I wrote a lot):

I've wanted to make an unfiction/ARG focused on tumblr blogs and ao3 accounts and fan culture at large since last summer. I was originally inspired by explaining SKAM to my youngest sibling, and when I elaborated on the joy of following different pieces of a story posted by different characters and watching their personal stories collide in ways that were representative of what it's like to exist in the world as a teenager, I was like: damn somebody's got to do the chronically online fan culture version of this.

As someone who grew up on the internet, I have sooo much to say on what social media as a person's only social outlet does to your perception of how communication works, what reading/writing fic for the express purpose of connecting with authors/fans (& using it solely as a means to an end instead of a joy in itself) does to your brain (like being an internet influencer, except in this very specific niche where it's only about attention and not money), devoting large swaths of your time to something that you consciously view as Not Very Important but all the Actually Important stuff you do in your life Sucks Balls and exploring that dichotomy of depression, etc etc.

I did a bit of research into unfiction and ARGs: looked at Mystic Messenger, Marble Hornets, Neurocracy, myhouse.wad, the SCP community, the Backrooms community. Lovingly thumbed through my favorite postmodern books: Pale Fire, House of Leaves, If On a Winter's Night a Traveler.

Toodled around thoughts of any possible plot that could justify making a tumblr- and ao3-focused story actually on the platforms themselves, but I couldn't figure out a compelling plot that justified actually making accounts and posting on them at specific times. I briefly had the idea to write a horror narrative from the perspective of someone writing a callout post on Google docs, which would be updated every day with the posts from each character involved. (I realized that it was going to have to go in the direction of Deep Shit In Real Life horror for the callout post angle to work, because my idea of making it an ambiguous supernatural horror did not mesh with why one makes a callout post.)

When my antidepressants kicked in, I kind of forgot all of this and got into cyberpunk lit instead. By the time NaNoWriMo was on the horizon, I had been combing through niche games on itch.io and had a wild idea to combine a story focused on tumblr & ao3 with my cyberpunk novel idea, and thus glitched was born.

Besides, it was so much easier to strangle css into twine and have control over it as an itch.io game instead of somehow keeping track of actual posts on actual websites posted at actual specific times (dear god, could you imagine the stress).

All that to say: thanks so much for asking!! I'm really glad you enjoyed reading glitched. I've really enjoyed what I've written so far!

If you'd want to be kept in the loop and perhaps beta read things when I sort myself out, please message me, that would be so awesome! (open offer btw. I love sharing my work with people <3)

(you don't even have to want to beta read it specifically you can just say hi, i'd love to pick your brain about what you think of the format of glitched as a whole)

[drev-the-procrastinator]

I desperately wanna write but also I really don't wanna write, you know

[motleyfam]

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says she needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself 💀

[maximwtf]

“She’s not afraid of me?”

part 1

                Newt Scamander x Animagus reader Part 2

words: 1447

google docs pages: 4

warnings: Memories of trauma (think that’s it?)

opening: Y/n is an animagus, and their form is a Nundu. Due to their bad past, they prefer to stay in their animagi form as much as possible. A magizoologist finds them, and tries to get to know them.

AN// i’m not even going to lie, I kind of forgot the idea I had with this fanfic originally because it’s been a while since i wrote the first part, but i’ll try to make it work :”D

Not Proof Read!!

                          “She’s not afraid of me?”

You were about to stretch your claws towards her, when something happened. You felt yourself transform, but it was against your own will. You’d felt this in the past as well, when the group you “worked for '' would force you to turn to your animagus form and when they wanted you to turn back. But they weren’t here now, so what was this? There wasn’t a lot of time to think about that, because the next thing you felt was falling to the ground. You slowly lifted yourself up by your arms, while trying to see what happened. Newt was standing in front of you, with his wand pointing straight at you. The woman you had lunged at was behind him, staring at Newt and you in confusion, with a tiny bit of fright on her face. It didn't take you long to realise that Newt had used the reversal spell on you to stop you from attacking the woman. 

You got up quickly, backing away from Newt before dusting your clothes. You looked horrified. Not because he didn’t allow you to attack, but because you had been forced to turn back once again, and it didn’t bring back pleasant memories. At that moment it didn’t pop into your head that he was just protecting the both of you by doing that, he didn’t mean to scare you. “What is going on here?” Tina’s voice asked quietly, trying to find answers. Newt stayed in front of her, only giving her a quick look. He seemed to understand that you weren’t fond of the spell he had casted on you, and it was clear. “Tina, could you wait in the kitchen?” He asked, not taking his eyes off of you. “I’ll be there.” The woman nodded slowly, then made her way back. This left you alone with Newt.

You didn’t say anything, you just stood there for a moment. You wanted to turn back to your nundu form, but it felt impossible. It might have been a side effect to the spell or you were just exhausted  from being forced to turn back. You didn’t know which one it was, but this used to happen before when you were forced to turn back as well. “Y/n, I didn’t mean to scare you. If I knew-” He began, not taking steps closer to you to keep you calmer. “They used your spell often.” You mumbled, remembering the amount of times you had been forced to turn. Newt tilted his head at this. “Who are they?” He asked in confusion. You didn’t reply, not because you didn’t want to out the group of people, but mostly because you didn’t remember them telling you their real names. “I don’t know.” You ended up replying. Tears started to drop down from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and then falling to the ground. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know…I don’t think I still understand fully..” Newt said, taking a small step towards you. You heard this, and looked up. He seemed to be worried and from what you could tell, he was actually feeling bad for what he did. None of the people you lived with before had shown you this kind of ‘guilt’ for casting the spell. You wiped your eyes with your sleeve. “It’s okay, I understand why you casted it.” You replied, embracing yourself by wrapping your arms around yourself. “It’s not okay, but I know better now. Alright?” He hummed, walking slowly in front of you and offered a hug. You looked at him for a moment, before accepting the hug. You placed your head on his shoulder, trying to calm down your breathing. “Do you want to meet Tina?” He asked, and pulled away slightly. “I think I already gave her a good scare, bet she wouldn’t want to talk to me?” You replied, remembering how she looked after you almost attacked her. “She's understanding. You can meet her another day, If you want to?” Newt requested, letting go of you. You only nodded at this.

You had begun to feel a lot better. This allowed you to turn back to your animagus form. Newt watched you transform, and smiled slightly when your nundu form was standing in front of him. “I’ll come back in a bit.” He said, and turned to the direction his friend had gone as well. You did internally hope that this Tina person didn’t hate you already. You had just gotten scared, your intention hadn’t been to attack one of Newt’s friends. 

You tried to shake it off and lay down for a bit. Deep down you knew that you’d have to turn back to your human form and apologise to Tina, whether you liked it or not. Not much time passed by, before you heard someone walking towards you. This time you didn’t get scared, because you assumed it was Newt and you had been right. He was alone, which scared you. Did this mean Tina didn’t want to meet you because you had scared her so badly?

“Y/n? I asked Tina, and she said she could meet you now, if you’re up for that?” He spoke up after stopping in front of you. You opened your eyes fully, seemingly shocked by this. She wanted to see you, even after what you had done? “She’s not scared, or at the very least disgusted by me?” You asked and tilted your head in confusion. Newt furrowed his brows after hearing you. The slight smile he had on his face earlier was now gone, and it was replaced by a confused frown. “No? No..of course not. I don’t know what kind of people you’ve met in the past, but she’s nothing like that.” He replied, offering his hand out to you. You stared at him for a slight moment, before you felt your legs touch the ground of your habitat. “I guess I need to apologise to her anyway…” You mumbled before taking a hold of Newt’s hand. He smiled at your gesture and started to lead you towards the kitchen you and him had walked through earlier. 

In the kitchen sat the same woman you had come to know as Tina. She had a mug in her hand, and it smelled like she was drinking tea. “They’re here.” Newt announced, and walked to sit on one of the chairs that were around the table. You followed him shyly, and sat on the third chair that was next to Newt’s. “So you’re Y/n? Gave me a little scare out there.” She started, giving a lighthearted giggle at the end. You looked at the table, not being able to look at her eyes. “I’m sorry for that, I didn’t mean to try and attack you. You just surprised me.” You apologised, and looked up a little to see her reaction. She had a kind smile on her face. “Newt told me, and I understand. Nothing for you to be ashamed of. It’s still nice to meet you!” Tina replied to you, and put down her mug. “Though I’m afraid I have to get going now. I’m sure we’ll meet again soon.” And with that she got up, and put on her coat. “See you soon, Newt and Y/n.” Tina said before she left. You turned your gaze to Newt. “I told you, she understands.” He hummed. You felt relief and like some kind of pressure that you didn’t know was on your shoulders, wasn’t there anymore. Tina seemed to be a closer friend of Newt’s so you didn’t want her to think you acted like this all the time and just because you felt like it. “Thank you.” Was all you could reply to him, before you got up and offered a hug to him, which he accepted. “Please, know that all the people I allow to come here are friends. They’re not going to hurt you.” Newt spoke, and pulled away for a bit to look at your eyes. You looked at him and nodded. You were safe here, and had a new chance at being an animagus. 

AN// Hello, it’s 1am<3 This turned out to be a little shorter than I would have liked, but I think the ending was good enough to leave it like that! Hope you liked it!^^

Tag list: @oxbunnehxo

[shoichee]

Rose-Tinted

Craving for angst with kise please!! Like both are afraid to act on their feelings which ends up hurting the both of them unconsciously. Idk, maybe kise is trying to “test” the girl, but went a bit too far i guess. Whatever floats your boat!! I just want angst but maybe hopefully still HEA in the end (or whichever your muse takes you) ;-; thank youu ❤️

Kise x Reader

Word Count: 6975

Note: oh my GOD, HELP THIS WAS 17 PAGES ON MY GOOGLE DOC I COULDNT STOP MYSELF………. angst, happy ending, fake dating!au, mean old kise ….. girl idk WHAT I WROTE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ????? reader POV first half and kise POV second half~

@knb-kreations

»»—————　☼　—————««

He holds you so gently, the touch so feather-light as he cradles your head and dips his own head in for a soft peck. The warmth of his lips makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel, things that you still chased for more in a never-ending cycle. You hold onto his hands thumbing your temples to try to anchor yourself further into the bliss, but it ends all too soon when he separates from you and gives you a radiant smile.

You were rudely pulled out of your rose-tinted trance when you heard gasps and chatter amongst the gawking students nearby, particularly Kise’s fans. He doesn’t pay any mind to their reactions and turns his friendly demeanor towards them.

“So you see everyone,” he cheerfully says. “I’m sorry I can’t accept any of your affections, as much as it flatters me so… after all, I have my dear (y/n)-cchi by my side!”

Groans and cries rung throughout the campus as most wail about missing out the opportunity to be Kise’s romantic partner, but before you can listen to their laments, Kise hurriedly tugs you away to the privacy of the back of a building nearby, away from prying eyes and ears. He drops your wrist just as fast and yawns with a stretch.

“What time should we meet up tomorrow?” he casually says, taking out his phone from his pocket.

“Huh?”

“Well, we can’t exactly sell our image of us being a couple unless we walk to and from school together consistently, right (y/n)?”

The rose-tinted lenses on your self-indulgent fantasy shatters to the ground instantly. You gulp, the swallowed spit hitting down to your stomach in heavy dread, where it was previously occupied by fluttering butterflies just moments prior.

This isn’t real.

“Ah… um,” you hesitated, thinking of a reasonable time, so you can wake up and get ready accordingly. “How about this time…”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replies, shutting off his phone before he walks a few steps away from you but then stopping. “Huh, uh… should I walk you home first? There might be some nosy people around, and we might as well get some practice in as an official couple.”

“W-Why don’t we start tomorrow morning instead?” you suggest. “A lot’s happened today, and well, I wanna have some time to myself.” Kise impassively stares at you for a couple of seconds before he forms a grin.

“Ah ha, well then, (y/n)-cchi,” he shouts jovially, making sure that his voice rang throughout the area for anyone nearby to hear. “I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow morning, my love!”

“Y-Yeah…” you mumbled, your hand held up in a half-hearted wave. “See you…”

With that parting, you turned to the opposite direction to exit through the side gates to get to your home. Your mind scrambles to recall the impulsive decisions you decided to take on a whim today. The grip on your bag tightens as you finally realized what sort of situation you got yourself into.

You like Kise, plain and simple. You’ve always gazed longingly at him whenever his presence entered within your line of vision. You couldn’t even fault his fans for being so whipped for the basketball player in the first place, not when you felt like you were more enthralled by him than anyone else. So what does a love-stricken fool like you do when the source of attraction directly asks you to partake in a “relationship?” You immediately accept his conditional proposal on auto-pilot before he barely finishes his sentence.

It felt so wrong, yet so right. How can you hate this arrangement when you enjoyed that first kiss you shared with Kise earlier? But how can you love this arrangement when you knew Kise only kissed you to drive everyone off? You stopped on the sidewalk and heaved a huge exhale, and you continued to walk again, the action not even remotely able to clear your head. Your mind continues to swirl and race.

You agreed to this. He even laid out his intentions very clearly to you, and he was more than ready to leave you alone if you didn’t consent to this. But stupid, desperate you did. You were ashamed to feel even a shred of flattery when he told you that you were the only one he can ask to drive off his fans in this only effective method: a relationship.

“Why me?” you said, looking up at his casual posture. “Don’t you have someone you like to ask to be in a relationship? I’m sure they’d be more than happy to accept you…”

“Well,” he mumbled. “I don’t really have someone in mind… you’re kinda the only one who doesn’t drool over me whenever I’m near, and I just ought to ask for your help.”

“W-Well,” you slightly stammered. “I’m okay with helping you, right, so…”

“This isn’t something to accept so readily, you know,” he said, raising a brow. “I know this is super sudden, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to force an answer out of you right at this moment. Besides, I don’t think there’s any incentive for you to be in this either? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“N-No!” you interrupted, but you coughed to regain your composure. “I mean, I do have something in this… maybe if I got with you, people would stop trying to harass and tease me if I had someone like you by my side.” That was a half-truth, but you knew there was no way you could reveal your crush to him… not when he believed you were “different” from the others. But can anyone blame you for sticking up for Kise when someone was talking about him like a piece of meat rather than a normal person? “Besides, for you to get to this point, things must’ve gotten too chaotic to simply tell them to stop, right?”

“Huh… is that so,” he said, stretching his neck, but you didn’t know whether or not he intentionally ignored your last question. “Well, if you’re fine with this, I’m letting you know now that we’ll be doing actual couple stuff, like…” He pauses for a second to gauge your reaction. “Hugging, hand-holding… probably kissing too…”

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded. “That’s fine with me! And we’ll have a code word in case either of us overstep our boundaries in any way… maybe…”

“Unagi,” he said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because they’re the bane of evil…”

“It’s just a dish, but…” you laughed, giddy at how he already showed a different side to you apart from his cool persona. “Alright, let’s go with that.”

How long were you able to keep this up? You pat yourself on the cheeks to dismiss the rest of your fantasies. If you keep this up, Kise will soon notice how you actually were head-over-heels for him all this time, and surely you’ll lose any future chance with him. Besides, maybe you can use this unique arrangement to learn about Kise and his hobbies other than basketball. Yes, you tell yourself, jogging the rest of the way home. It won’t be so bad, after all.

———

Starting today, you’ll be officially dating Kise.

That’s how it is on paper, anyways.

How are you supposed to act while dating the Kise Ryōta? Equally cool and flamboyant? Athletically capable? Would you weird out Kise if you were the one initiating physical affection?

“(y/n)!”

You flinch, not expecting anyone to call for you so early in the morning, and your walking route to school was never shared with another student as far as you were concerned. After all, your path was a little more obscured and unorthodox compared to the majority of students traversing the main neighborhood paths.

“Sorry… did I scare you?” You stop and turn to the source of the voice, only to be surprised when you see Kise himself. “Why do you look so surprised? Didn’t we agree on the time to meet up and walk to school together?”

“Oh… yeah…” In the midst of your thoughts, it seems that you forgot the arrangements you made with him yesterday evening. “My bad?”

“Oh, come on,” he gives a mock-hurt face with a hand to his chest. “Am I that forgettable, (y/n)?”

“N-No!” you immediately deny. You knew it was more like the other way around, the way constant thoughts of Kise preoccupy in your head too much. How can you ever forget him when he constantly runs through your mind everyday for so long? Kise merely gives a good-natured sigh before he changes the subject.

“Kidding,” he says, holding out a hand to you. “Seriously though, get your act together. We gotta start acting the part if we want this to work.” You stare at his hand, hesitating for a split moment before you put your own hand on top. His large hand easily encompasses yours, and the warmth makes you widen your eyes. It… felt nice.

You were so entranced by your linked hands that you failed to notice how Kise was staring at your face with a sharp glint in his eyes, but when you look up back to his face, he easily morphs his expression into his signature grin. He swings your hands around like an excited kid and turns to walk ahead to tug you along.

“Alrighty!~ Let’s hurry together before I get chewed out by Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Kise, have you ever considered that it’s not really your tardiness that gets the captain mad but more so about the way you seem to irritate him with the way you skip around?”

“(y/n),” he says with a pout, “you know you’re not being convincing when you use my last name to address me as your boyfriend.”

“R-Right,” you stammer, still not used to the entire situation. “Ah… wait. Don’t you uh… call people who are close to you with -cchi?”

“Huh…” he mumbles, looking up at the cloudy sky before looking ahead of the path. “Not necessarily people who are close, just people who I really admire. I guess I addressed you like that yesterday without really thinking.”

“U-Uh, right… sorry.” He stops walking with your hand still in tow, and you almost bumped into his back at his sudden movement. He turns to you with a quite serious look.

“Do you want me to call you that?”

It was a normal question, but for some reason it felt like the next sentence coming from your mouth would make a huge impact on the way the two of you would interact in the future. From the way Kise looks at you with such a scrutinizing gaze, it feels like a trick question, and you’re not sure how to answer it. Your mouth goes dry when you try to reply.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Kise’s eyes widen a fraction before he gives an unexpected chortle. “Pfft… how do you not know what you want to be addressed as?”

“Arrgh, oh shut it!” you frown, hitting his arm in a fluster before stalking off ahead. You remember that you were supposed to go to school together, and you begrudgingly stop and turn back to wait for him to catch up. “Ryōta, just call me whatever you want. You’re already calling me by my first name, so I doubt anyone would care if you added -cchi or not.” Still, your cheeks turn pink at the realization that Kise would be uttering your first name for the next couple… whenever this relationship will last.

“You… wait up!” Kise wheezes dramatically, despite the both of you knowing full well how easily he can catch up to your stride. “You really shouldn’t be treating your boyfriend like that! Especially on the first day!” Kise holds your hand again to lead you to the rest of the way to school.

All the while, you’ve been staring at his back, your heartstrings being tugged so mercilessly at the cacophony of emotions you were feeling the whole time. He felt so warm, so inviting, but the way he held your hands felt cold and transactional.

———

You’re not sure how to react whenever Kise introduced himself as your “boyfriend” to everyone or whenever nosy students inquired about your new “boyfriend.” All you could do was gulp and manage the most convincing act you could do within different contexts. Smile, laugh, get bashful, be modest in talking about how Kise managed to “like” you, pretend you know many embarrassing stories and sides to him that no one else did. Truthfully, you were just as in the dark as anybody else.

You think the only reason why everyone bought the couple-act was due to how enamored you were in talking about him. This was the only response you could be truthful about. At least you could use your huge crush to your advantage in portraying yourself as the “lovey-dovey” half of the couple. Yet it feels unbelievably wrong.

You knew you had to prepare yourself some preset answers for curious students, but you didn’t expect yourself to be participating in neverending “interviews” in these social settings. You thought this relationship would entail a closer access to Kise’s true self, but things suggest otherwise.

“Ryōta,” you say, peering up at his face as the both of you walk down the hallway to your designated spot for lunch together. Even as you two walk, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you when there is no one in close proximity. Even when you two are together, he only grabs your hand when it’s socially convenient. Even when Kise approaches you to talk, you know it’s never anything beyond for the sake of acting. And you agreed to this entire thing.

“Hm?” He spares a glance to your figure before returning his gaze ahead.

“Uh, I brought extra food today,” you say, trying to use this situation to try to express your genuine feelings to him in small increments. “I brought an extra bento box too… in case, you don’t wanna actually share one…” He was about to reply before a pair of students turned around the corner to head towards your direction. Kise narrows his eyes at the unexpected turn of events, and immediately turns to you brightly.

“(y/n)! You really thought that I wouldn’t like the idea?” he pouts. “Of course I wanna share a bento with you! Silly…” He slightly bends to your level to place a chaste peck on your forehead.

“Ah…” you freeze at his soft touch, your legs stiff in place as you stop walking. Kise, in response, moves his lips to your ears, and you slightly shiver at the unexpected intimacy… it was the closest he’s gotten to you ever since that public stunt when he kissed you in front of everyone the other day.

“Hey, don’t just stand there… you can’t overreact like this over something couples do everyday.” You bit your lip in an attempt to stop your heart from sinking from disappointment, but in turning your face to him to spill an apology, your face ended up right in front of his. Your eyes widen but he only stares at you with such an intensity that makes you hold your breath in anticipation.

But he immediately draws away and stretches with a yawn. “Looks like those people left right after they thought they intruded on a private moment between us,” he says. “Sheesh, people really do the most to be so nosy nowadays.” You wonder how he can be so casual about this all. Perhaps it was a mistake to be here like this when you were so in love with him, overthinking every single thing he did.

Why didn’t he kiss you this time? Did he not find you the teensiest attractive enough to want to kiss you even without an audience nearby?

“Come on,” he mumbles, waving a hand through your face. “Quit making that face. I won’t be doing that to you without warning anytime soon. My bad, okay?” Kise sheepishly holds out a hand for a handshake to make peace, and you wordlessly take his hand. One day, you’ll stop being his special someone to savor his warmth…

No, you thought, you’re an idiot… he’s never considered you as someone special.

You debated in telling him that you were fine with him kissing you, but you hold your tongue, afraid that he’ll realize your true feelings about him. Besides, were you really okay with him kissing you when he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings?

“It… wasn’t like what you think,” you hesitate. “It just caught me off guard.”

“Well,” he laughs. “That’s a relief! By the way…” He stops to settle himself on the bench. “What’s exactly your lunch? Since you went through the effort to bring extras, I guess I’ll eat them.”

“I packed salmon from leftovers I had from home,” you reply, taking out your bento box and utensils. You decide to shake off your negative thoughts and shove them to the back of your mind. He makes a horrified face at the lunchbox. “Kise, what’s wrong?”

“Do you… happen to have anything else packed?”

“Rice?”

“Well,” he coughs. “I’m not a fan of dishes with boned fish.”

“Didn’t you say you hated unagi too?” Kise shyly averts his gaze before he reluctantly confirms it so. “They’re delicious though! Especially when they’re grilled!” At first, he refused to answer, but the more you tried to poke and prod (literally too, at his ribs), he finally gave in.

“Alright, alright! But I swear, you better not tell anyone!… I choked on a fish bone one time…”

“… And?”

“And yeah.”

“You choked on a bone once and you got scared out of eating fish—”

“Shhhh!” he hushes, emphasizing his hiss with a finger to his lips. At this very moment, you saw a glimpse into who Kise really is, and you can’t help but bust out a genuine, carefree laugh for the first time in front of him. In embarrassment, he bonks your head with his fist to get you to stop laughing, but it only makes you more conscious of how close he is to you.

But just as quickly and telepathically, Kise puts some distance between the two of you, sitting closer to the edge of the bench. He opts to hunch over casually and keenly watch you scarf down your meal in minutes without a care.

You wonder if you should feel guilty for enjoying this moment with Kise, even if he was only waiting with you out of obligation of being your “boyfriend,” but right now, you allowed yourself to indulge, letting your heart beat sporadically without guilt and fear for once. You continue to savor your lunch in silence, concentrating on munching around the fish bones, while Kise sat in contemplation all the while.

———

“You should come watch our practice game today, (y/n).”

“Eh?”

You tilt your head at him in confusion. It’s been two weeks since you started this arrangement with him, but nothing extraordinary or groundbreaking happened between the two of you, much to your despondency. But you knew, you shouldn’t be asking for too much when you already have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be close to him like this.

“There’s going to be a lot of people coming,” he explains. “Even if it’s just a practice game… it’d be weird if you weren’t there, because, you know, we’re dating.”

“I don’t mind going,” you reply. “It sounds fun.”

“You know, you’ve been agreeing to everything I’ve been suggesting the entire time,” he mumbles to himself, but he zips his mouth shut when he sees you instinctively moving closer to try to catch what he said. “Uh, in any case… just stop by the gym whenever you can.”

So here you are a few hours later, being the first person to settle yourself on top of the 2nd floor of the gym. You rest your arms on the railway, fascinated by the Kaijō basketball team and their skills. As they warm up on the courts, it’s the first time you see Kise truly at ease and happy with the people he cares about, and your heart pangs in jealousy seeing his genuine smile. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you realized the gym became completely crowded, the constant chattering announcing huge crowds along the entrance and the lucky watchers at the 2nd floor with you.

You didn’t mind the onlookers when all you were focused on was Kise throughout the entire game with a smitten look, and you weren’t surprised when his team easily won against the other local school.

“That’s Kise isn’t it?” You were about to turn to leave the higher floor to wait outside the gym when you heard his name. You stop to eavesdrop on the conversation next to you.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing about him way too much. Something about him dating now?”

“He’s dating (l/n) right now, which is super weird because they never even talked… and all of the sudden, they’re dating? I didn’t think of him to be into short-term flings.”

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

“Hey,” you interrupt, scaring the two girls out of their wits before they turn to you. “I don’t think you should talk about Kise like that when all you know of him is through speculation.”

“Ugh, here we go again with his fans…” one of them groans, rolling her eyes. “Look, I get it, he’s good-looking and all, but I don’t understand how you can defend him to death when he doesn’t even spare a glance at you… ah… shit, you’re (l/n)?” A flash of hurt was visible on your face for a split second before you frowned. Their words unintentionally hit the nail in the coffin.

“Whether I’m (l/n) or not doesn’t really matter,” you say angrily. “Gossiping about anyone like that isn’t something you should make a habit out of.”

“Jeez, let’s just leave,” the other girl whispers, dragging the first girl along.

You simply stand there watching them leave, but you can’t shake off what they said. They were right… how could you be so whipped for him when you know he’ll never see you the same way?

“Oy!”

Kise’s voice brings you back to your consciousness as he waves at you from the court. “You’ve been standing there for a while! Hurry up, or I’ll leave you behind, (y/n)-cchi!”

“Coming!” You race from the 2nd floor to the ground level to catch up to him, your heart pounding all the while. Did he… did he just…?

You shake your head before you reunite with him to walk home together. Stop it… don’t overthink it.

———

Kise waits at his usual spot to wait for you before walking to school together. It’s been three weeks since he’s approached you to “date.” He’s grown quite comfortable with this arrangement, being close to you and backing off when it’s convenient. After all, if you somehow showed a gruesome true self of yours, he’d be able to separate himself from you with no consequences… even if his heart would cry out not to.

“Ryōta!” There you are, running down the path towards him so cheerfully. Could you really be an awful person when you have such a pure smile like that?

“Ah, (y/n)-cchi,” he says. “We should hurry if we wanna be inside campus. It’s a little chilly today, so being indoors sounds really nice right now.” He peers over to your face to see your nose slightly red from the cold, and he huffs out a chuckle, noting the warm puff of air escaping from his own lips.

“I guess it’s a little cold today,” you say, looking up at Kise with a slight childish wonder. “Hey, that’s a pretty cool cloud that you puffed out.”

“You have some clouds around you too.” He gently smiles, and he notes that your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Wha? Is my face that horrific, (y/n)-cchi?” You avert your gaze as your cheeks grow just as red as your nose.

“Nah… i-it’s nothing…ah—” He holds your cheeks to turn your face back to him, and he draws near with a serious gaze, bumping his forehead against yours.

“You’re actually really cold…”

“Uh, um… I don’t think I’m c-cold anymore—” you stammer, your eyes darting to look everywhere but his face, and Kise’s eyes only scrutinize your behavior further.

“Hm, if you say so…” he mumbles. Your eyes flutter close at the anticipation, and he feels the pull towards your lips, closing his own lids shut…

Wait, what was he thinking? He snaps his lids open and slightly draws himself away to look at you, still vulnerable with your closed eyes. It’s only when he drops his hands from your cheeks and turns to walk ahead when you flutter your eyes open again. Don’t let your feelings for (y/n) blind you into figuring out who they really are.

“Come on,” Kise calls out to you. “We should get going… we don’t wanna be late.” Besides, what if there’s a possibility that you don’t really like him at all?

“Y-Yeah…”

The rest of the walk was in silence, with Kise slightly ahead of you. Perhaps if he turned around at least once to check on you, he would’ve seen the consequences of his actions.

You were silently crying the entire walk.

———

Nothing seems to change much for the entire month. The way the two of you dance and sway around each other, while never being too close, never being too affectionate, never being completely honest. In this shared rose-tinted world, the frail glass that holds these moments together threatens to break with every fickle interaction. Every shared kiss constitutes another small crack to the rose-tinted crystal.

And both of you are content with just the way things are.

Or that’s what you both mutter to yourselves like a mantra.

“Ryōta!” you call out to him. “Did you wait long?”

“Not really,” he says. “I just barely got out too… the teacher was really lenient on dismissal today, actually.” His heart swells at the sight of you as usual, but just as quickly, he’s always managed to quash his emotions in check.

For the first time, you initiate physical touch with him without hesitation, linking your hands with his and snuggling up to him. He flinches, not fast enough to process the sudden warmth of your body, and he immediately separates himself from you. Do you actually like him after all?… No, something is up, right?

“Ryōta…?” You flinch just as severely from the sudden reaction, and he turns to avoid looking at your face, knowing that his resolve would crumble right in front of you. He’s a coward, and he fucking knows it.

“S-Sorry, (y/n)-cchi! I don’t know what came over me like that, but you know you don’t have to force yourself to do things like that, right? There’s no one here, so let’s just walk home together like we always do, yeah?”

He turns to already walk ahead, too afraid of hearing your response and hoping you would follow and catch up to him… like you always do.

You simply stood there for a few moments, anguish clear as the sky above you as you keep telling yourself to manage your own expectations. Still, your voice croaks out quietly to respond to him, even if you knew he wasn’t going to hear it.

“… But I wanted to do these things with you, Ryōta.”

———

It’s been several days since that incident.

It was very awkward for the most part, the walks to and from school silent and suffocating. He’s not quite sure how to go about it while trying not to sound disingenuous about it. Nonetheless, even through his quiet apology, your face still lights up, and he’s confused about why you would ever be so forgiving of him.

Although today, lines have been crossed and this shared secretive world between the two of you have completely shattered to the point of no return.

It was quite a blur, an instinct that Kise has developed over the course of this relationship. Every time a group of students drew near, he was always ready to tug you close for a kiss until they left and carry on with their day. Today was usually no exception.

Another group of students was hanging around the corner, presumably spying on you two, and Kise did what he’s always done, grabbing your hand and embracing you for a kiss. Your eyes were blown open in surprise, but when you saw Kise’s eyes elsewhere, something finally snapped inside.

You push him away at his chest.

“U-Unagi… unagi…” Your voice trembles, and you use your arms to cover up the fresh tears. The code word sounds unbelievably stupid out of context, but at this moment, the word alone stabs Kise in his chest. “I-I… just stop… please.” Kise stares dumbly at you, processing the fact that you just used the agreed safe word against him.

“… (y/n)-cchi?” Kise asks with a confused smile. “You’ve never objected to kissing before… I’ve even told you what we’ll be doing if you agreed to this…?”

“How…” you choke on tears. “H-How can you kiss me like that while your eyes are on someone else…?”

“I don’t understand—”

“A-Am I that atrocious to kiss unless you stare at something else or there’s some convenience?”

“I don’t get it, (y/n)-cchi,” he frowns. “Did you expect more out of this or am I missing something?”

“There was no reason to kiss me like that,” you softly wail. “Everyone already knows we’re a thing for… o-over a month now. There’s no reason to kiss me around people anymore when they won’t suspect us anyways…”

“So you don’t want me to kiss you anymore?” Kise’s heart sinks in thinking about where this is going.

“No!—you don’t… you don’t fucking get it! I don’t get it—! Why are we doing this anymore—I just, I see no reason to continue this anymore… you already shooed off your fans, right? Why haven’t you ended this?!”

“(y/n)-cchi—I…” He reaches out for you, but you immediately recoil.

“No—please… no more, I can’t do this anymore!” you sniffle. “I can’t fucking do this… I’m done, I’m tired—please… just look for another person to take my place… I… I’m done—I can’t pretend with you anymore when I always expect more out of it like a love-stricken fool!”

“I…”

“Look—see,” you choke. “I’m just like everyone else who’s in love with you, I’m no different than everyone else R-Ryōta… so that’s why, I-I… can’t do this anymore!”

Kise stands there, staring at you running away from him. It was like everything had gone silent, save for the sound of his blood pounding in his ears.

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

He hated rumors, he really did… but for the first time, he feels like he deserves every word thrown at him around the hallways and classrooms. His memory flits to the time when he felt warm from seeing you standing up for him, even if he wasn’t bothered by them before. Now, the warmth is replaced by agonizing regret and guilt wracking through his entire body. His hands feel cold with you gone from his side.

What has he done?

———

He’s grown quiet for the next week.

It’s been a week since you ran from him, and it’s been a week since he last talked to you.

Even his teammates were concerned about his reserved behavior, but just as always, he’s managed to shoot them a convincing smile. Kasamatsu was more persistent about this but eventually dropped it seeing Kise’s refusal to talk about it.

That day when you pushed him away, he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts keeping him awake the entire night. He resolved himself to talk to you the next day… but he changed his mind the last minute… and then he told himself he’d do it the next day… and then he changed his mind again.

He tells himself that it’s because you rightfully hate him, with the way you’d surround yourself with other crowds and groups to prevent him from walking up to you when you were alone. He tells himself that it’s because both you and him needed space to cool off and go back to the way you two were. He refuses to tell himself that it’s because he’s an honest-to-god coward.

He misses you. He misses you damn badly. Why the fuck did he go through such lengths instead of confessing to you straight up? He tells himself that he was being cautious. He tells himself that he doesn’t want his heart to be broken again. He refuses to conclude that it’s because he’s a fucking coward.

“I don’t know what’s been on your mind, idiot,” Kasamatsu says. “But you better solve this yourself quickly if you’re not opening up to me about this. We can’t have your performance quality be dropping even in practice. Hurry up and fix this shit with (l/n)-san already.”

“H-How’d you know?!” Kise raises his head from his desk in astonishment.

“Tch, idiot,” he glowers, chopping Kise’s head with a swift hand. “It’s too obvious from the way you’re moping around… from the way you two stuck together all this time, who wouldn’t notice something happened from the way you’re at your desk watching (l/n)-san like that?”

“O-Ow…” Kise grumbles rubbing his head. Ironically, his captain’s hit cleared up his doubts and he took a deep breath before exhaling. “Got it, senpai.”

“You better.” Kasamatsu goes back to talking to his classmates during break, and even despite not knowing the truth of the relationship, he manages to give solid advice as usual.

Tomorrow. He’ll find you tomorrow.

———

He doesn’t know where else to find you alone other than the place he’s always waited for you before you two used to walk to school together. So he stands there, almost an hour earlier in case you had the idea to walk to school extremely early to avoid him at all costs.

He was right.

Here you are, shuffling your feet as you trudged yourself along the path and looking down at your feet. You even manage to walk past by him without noticing his presence.

Even if you’ve grown to hate him, he’s willed himself to come completely clean about his feelings to you for once. But a part of him is thinking to change his mind again and just let you slip away from his fingers. It’d spare the both of you the inevitable, right?

“R-Ryōta…?”

He was pulled from his thoughts, startled to see you staring at him from a short distance away. Apparently you did notice him after all.

“… (y/n)-cchi…” He swallows his words, knowing full well that his stupid words might blow this up for him again, his words responsible for all the rumors at school, his words responsible for hurting you and will hurt you again.

He wordlessly walks up to you and holds your cheek, and waits. He waits for you to push him away again. He waits for you to say the code word to let him know that you don’t want him near you again. The thought of you running away from him nearly brings him to tears, but he gulps his emotions down and stares at you calmly, with only his upturned brows hinting to his inner turmoil.

“Ryō—”

He swiftly brings his head down and kisses you. In feeling the warmth for the first time in a while, he greedily drinks from your lips, holding your temples more firmly as he searches for more, more, more.

You push him away.

Kise immediately lets go and stares at you like a lost child, unable to mask the devastation from the implications of your actions. But you’re still gripping his uniform tightly, almost as if you didn’t want to let go.

“W-Why…?” you croak, biting your lips to stop any tears from breaking through. “There’s no reason to kiss me. Don’t you know that we’re done? There’s no one to watch us here, no reason for you to walk me to school anymore. You know that, Ryōta. After all, we haven’t talked since a week ago, and you have the audacity to come here and kiss me like everything is okay—”

“… I want to kiss you, because there’s no one around, because there’s no other reason for me to.”

“Why…?” your voice softens to a whisper. “Don’t you hate anyone who likes you in that way? I… I already told you that I see you in that light, like many of your fans do. Don’t you hate me? Don’t you hate me for using this arrangement to get closer to you? Don’t you hate me for expecting something real out of this?”

“I already had an inkling of suspicion that you liked me, (y/n)-cchi,” Kise turns away to look at the bright morning sky. “I just didn’t know if I was wrong or not.”

“Then… why did you ask me to do this whole thing with you…?”

“Because I’m a coward,” he says, looking back to you. You were stunned into silence. For the first time, he finally admits what’s been weighing on his mind for weeks out loud, and his eyes, while drenched in shame, were full of resoluteness. “I liked you, but I was too afraid for the day when you ended up being not like the person I ended up liking. I liked you, but I was afraid of a real relationship that would tie me down. I liked you, but I was afraid of making huge decisions that involved another person into my life. I didn’t want to end the fake relationship because I was too fucking selfish… if I ended it, I’d lose the only connection I had with you… I’m sorry.”

Both of you went silent, bathed in the light of the rising sun. Kise drops to a squat to hide his face from you, and you knew he was trying to stop himself from tearing up. He knows how uncool he looks, but he had no right to cry when you were the one who got hurt the most.

“Ryōta, did you really find it difficult to kiss me���? Just… be honest.”

“Yes,” he looks up from his squat to stare at you with an intense look, even despite his puffy eyes. “Everytime I kissed you, I found it hard to control myself. I thought, what if you were using me to somehow get a kiss from me? or what if I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you and I ended up taking things too far? Looking anywhere but you at least stopped me from getting too invested…”

By now, both of you had turned completely red at his honesty, but he still found you frankly stunning even with your red, puffy eyes. “Look, (y/n)-cchi, don’t you hate me? I used you. The rumors are right—I’m a complete asshole. Just… I won’t blame you if you walk away right now.”

“You do know that I used this opportunity to get closer to you, right?… I wasn’t a saint about this either, so… I’m sorry too.” Both of you go silent again, and you slowly drop yourself to his level in a squat of your own in front of him.

“… C-Can we… can we start over?” you whisper, your warm breath tickling his chilled nose.

“(y/n)-cchi, I don’t think I’m capable of continuing this arrangement…”

“No,” you huff, before you tentatively press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I mean… can we… start over, but this time, as a real couple? I… want this relationship to be substantial. I really do like you, Ryōta.” You murmur against his lips with your hands on top of your knees, waiting for him to rebuke you away with an easygoing comment or a plastered smile.

But he doesn’t do any of that.

“I… guess we can try that,” Kise mumbles, gaze averted as his cheeks flame brighter than his nose and ears.

“Can you kiss me again?” you ask, your voice cracking at the end out of fear he’d turn down your request. Kise flicks his gaze back to you to see you equally red with a hesitant expression.

“Could you… close your eyes?” he asks with a frown.

“H-Huh?”

“Y-You don’t need to see me looking like a mess, I don’t look charming right now.”

“I… guess…” After a few moments of hesitation, you flutter your eyes shut, waiting apprehensively for his lips to descend onto yours again. Kise holds your cheeks and takes the time to admire your features for the first time, and his smile grows wider with every passing second.

‘R-Ryōta…?” Afraid of the fact that he actually may not like kissing you after all, you worriedly open your eyes, only to be greeted by the most brilliant smile from Kise, his figure illuminated by the sunshine hitting the back of his head at the perfect angle.

“(y/n)-cchi,” he teases with a small pout. “Didn’t I tell you to close your eyes?”

Who needs a rose-tinted lens when the sight before you is already so radiant to behold?

[bqstqnbruin]

4 times he wanted to come over + one time he did

Ok, we’re going to ignore several things here, like the fact that this was an 8 page Google Doc that I put together in a few hours, the fact that said document had been blank since June, t y p o s, and the fact that it’s nearly three am and I have my first day of classes technically today (aka at 2 pm).

But here I am, with my second fic of the day? IDK but since classes are starting, my posts are going to be a lot less frequent, so hopefully you guys like this! -------------------

one

Your apartment was finally put together just the way you liked it; all your stuff had its place, it was decorated just the way you liked it, you even had a pantry full of food, a rare feat when you were in college even with living with three other girls. Your first morning in your new, fully set up place was going to be celebrated by yourself. You had planned to make yourself breakfast that would probably last into lunch, order Chinese food later that night, drink coffee and watch Seinfeld on Hulu until you felt like going to sleep. There was no better way to break in a new place than by just relaxing in it. 

You turn on your TV, setting your coffee and plate down on the table in front of your couch, and walk over to the huge windows you were lucky enough to have in the apartment. It was a picture-perfect day, and the sun shined right into your apartment, not a single cloud in the blue sky. You felt like you were in a movie like someone had curated the scene and that with the touch of a button, the green screen would be gone and so would the magic. 

Sitting down, putting your feet up on the table, you dig in. This was actually perfect for you. Your new job was going to be stressful and you knew it. The more you could find ways to relax in your home, the better the job would be. 

After three episodes and nearly spilling your coffee all over you twice, you decide to get up and move around. You were drawn back to your windows, still in awe at the scene on the other side of them. Across the street, it looks like someone was doing the same in their apartment. He was tall, handsome, shirtless, and covered with tattoos that you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of. 

He waves at you smiling in a way that made you melt. It took everything in you to wave back and not do something stupid, mentally thanking yourself that the pajamas you had been wearing were athletic shorts and a tshirt from your sorority, and not something more embarrassing. 

You go back to your couch, knowing that he could still see you and probably what you were watching. You couldn’t focus on the episode, feeling as if he were still there watching you. You tried to force yourself not to steal glances at him but failed, every so often seeing him mirroring your actions, watching TV on his couch. You didn’t know that the entire time, he was also stealing glances at you. He couldn’t help it; never before had he seen someone look so naturally beautiful, so in their element and carefree while just sitting and watching TV. 

“Fuck it,” you say to yourself, pausing mid-episode and getting up to find the paper, markers, and tape you know you had stashed somewhere.

Messily scrawling ‘I just moved in, nice to meet you,’ on a piece of paper, you tape it up on the window, praying that you wrote it big and dark enough that he could see it.  Sighing when he wasn’t still on the couch, you get back on your own and press play on the TV again. 

Where could he have gone? And why were you more invested in the handsome stranger on the other side of the street than you were in the show about nothing that you had grown up watching? 

Your stomach growls, not quite late enough to order dinner, you wander into your kitchen to get a snack, looking over to the window of handsome man to see that he had left a note, presumably for you. ‘Nice to meet you, I’m Pierre-Luc’ was written in print messier than that of a doctor’s. Thank god your best friend growing up had the world’s worst writing, having to ask him to rewrite it would have been demeaning and embarrassing. 

And so it began: you would write a note, watch an episode, then check to see if he left you anything back. He always did, 

His name was Pierre-Luc and he played hockey. After a quick google search, unbeknownst to him since you were assuming he couldn’t see what was on your phone, you found that he was a professional hockey player, player for the Blue Jackets. Great, as if he weren’t already being sweet, asking you questions, leaving you charmingly flirty messages on his window for you, now he was an athlete? Quite possibly one of the sexiest types of men in your opinion? Great. Amazing. 

‘What’s for dinner?’ he leaves on his window, disappearing somewhere into his apartment. 

‘Ideally Chinese food, where do you suggest?’ is what you leave for him, scrolling through Uber eats to see what was cheapest and nearby. You look up, seeing him writing on a notepad his answer, taping it to his window before sending you what you could swear was a wink. 

‘Best place to eat out is here at my place,” you read, bursting out laughing. Confident, this one. 

You roll your eyes, leaving a cheeky message about sticking to Chinese food and just ordering it from the first place that came up. 

The night went on, you not realizing you had spent the whole day flirting with a window stranger. He had liked talking to you, too, but it was pretty bad for the environment to be wasting all this paper when he could clearly see the phone that was in your hand or on your table. Writing his number on what he hoped would be his final piece of paper, maybe you would invite him over. Or he could invite you over. There was something about you that he wanted to spend time with you, not flirt with you while a city street separates you. Taping the paper up, he can see you, fast asleep on the couch, your TV screen asking you if you were still there. 

Closing his curtains, he hoped that you would use the number soon so you could actually spend time with him. 

 Two

You had been feeding that cat every morning for over a month. You loved that stray cat; there was a weird sense of satisfaction in feeding her even though you knew your apartment building wouldn’t allow you to take her in as a pet. But of course, the day you had your friends coming over for dinner was the day you had to run to the store to buy more cat food because you ran out the day before and forgot to get some yesterday. You didn’t know who put food out for the cat at night, or even if anyone did. 

You go to the bowl sitting in the alley way, seeing that it was empty, confirming your suspicion that no one else fed the poor cat. You would have to start feeding it at night, too. 

“Sorry, you don’t have to do this,” you hear someone say behind you. You get up to see him, the man from the window. 

“Pierre-Luc? Why don’t I have to do this?” 

“Because I’ve been doing it.” 

“No, I have,” you argue, knowing that this would lead to a never-ending circle of ‘me, no me.’ You had been texting each other for a few weeks, constantly trying to figure out when you could spend time together, but much like you and your best friend during senior year of college, your schedules never matched up, going a year before finally seeing each other. 

“When?” he asks, a cocky smile dancing across his face. 

“Every morning before work, what about you,” you ask, getting closer to him. You text relationship was flirty, you were sure of it. Every time you passed by your window when he was home, he made a point to check you out, he winked at you, he smiled. He exuded a welcome confidence that you weren’t used to.

“Every day when I get back from practice.”

“What about the days that you’re away for games?”

“I figured someone would feed him for me.”

“The cat’s a girl,” you say, the little feline coming up to you. “You would know that if you didn’t just assume other people were doing what you set out to do in the first place.”

“Well, my assumption was correct, wasn’t it?” he says, a devilish twinkle in his eye as his tongue runs along his bottom lip. 

“You know what they say about assuming,” you tell him, breaking your eye contact to put out some food for the purring animal.

“What’s that?”

“It makes an ass outta you and me,” you tell him, looking up at him towering over you as a laugh leaving his lips. Given his demeanor, you wouldn’t expect him to look as, what’s the right word, jolly? As he did. 

“How come you’re feeding her now if you usually do it in the morning?” he asks, bending down to help you.

Feeling your phone buzzing in your pocket that signaled your friends were already there waiting for you, you tell him, “I ran out of food yesterday and didn’t have the chance to get more until after work. Plus, I needed to pick some stuff up for tonight, anyway.”

“Tonight?” he asks, his head snapping up. Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit, ran through his head.

“Yeah, my friends are coming over for dinner. It’s the first time they’ll be seeing my new place.” You pause for a minute. He was here, obviously with some free time, but did you want his first time over your place to be surrounded by your nosy friends? They knew you were talking to an attractive neighbor, but you knew they would say things to him that would mortify you and send you running before he got the chance. 

But like the night you first moved in, fuck it. “Are you free tonight? I would love for you to come over,” you tell him, the smile on his face disappearing as soon as you asked.

“I have a game tonight, I can’t. I was actually about to change and then leave,” he says, looking sad. He wanted to come over, and as soon as you said you were having friends over, he knew that you were going to ask him. 

“Oh, that’s fine. Now I have a reason to watch a game, though,” you tell him, smiling. You had to admit, you were a little bit upset, but again, it was probably for the best that he didn’t meet your friends just yet. 

“If the game ends early enough, I’ll stop by, yeah?” he suggests, running his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, sure. I’d like that.” 

Three

“Babe, you’ve lived here for like, what? Almost six months? You have a hot as fuck neighbor who you actually talk to, and he hasn’t come over yet? Why haven’t you asked him to come over?” Amy says with food in her mouth. Your friends were over, again, this time to hang out before they went out to the bars. You were originally going to go, but you were too exhausted, and having already promised to host the pregame, you weren’t going to back out now. 

“You call me babe more than any guy I’ve met, you realize that right?” you ask her, getting up to go over to your window. You knew he wasn’t home; you had the Columbus game against the Flyers playing on your TV, Pierre-Luc was on the ice as you absentmindedly went over to the window to see if he was there. “Plus, our schedules never work. Look, Aimes, he’s literally on our TV, meanwhile as soon as all you hooligans leave, I’m going to bed. 

“Come on, stay up for the man,” Jeff said. The only male in your group of friends, he always entered the girl talk, encouraging you to get with a guy just as much as the others. 

“I’m going out to breakfast with you guys in the morning, how cranky do you want me to be, Jeffy? You know I will not hesitate to throw a potato at you,” you say, the rest of the group laughing even though they know you’re serious. You have thrown stuff at him and only him during breakfast before, him never thinking you’d have the guts to cause a scene in public, but doing it anyway. 

“We all know you’d be less cranky if you got laid,” he says through a mouthful of food. Why did everyone talk with their mouths open?

“Tomorrow I’m ordering two breakfasts; one to eat and one to throw at you.” 

You tune out your friends for the rest of the night. You only paid attention to the hockey game, your eyes trying to stay focused on Pierre-Luc every time he was on the ice. You did really want him to come over, but again, the first time couldn’t be with your friends, not when they were full psychopaths when it came to any boy that you were talking to. What would you have done if Pierre-Luc was there when Jeff commented about you being cranky and needed to get laid? 

Why did the cute guy have to have such a complicated schedule? Every time you were free, he was to jet off somewhere in the country for a few days for games, then he would come back, sleep, go to practice, and then go to a game. From what you could tell, he never stayed up past maybe 10 pm on the nights he didn’t have games, he napped nearly every day after practices, and he really was only home to eat.

Not that you were stalking him. Or memorizing his schedule. You two talked all the time, having evolved from notes in the windows to texting, from texting to calling, from calling to him falling asleep before you while on Facetime. He was one of your best friends, and you had never actually hung out with him at your or his apartment. 

“So how long will it take for him to get home now that the game is over?” Amy asks, snapping you out of the trance that you didn’t know you were in.

You didn’t even know that the game was over; the Jackets beat the Flyers 2-1, the game apparently ending about five minutes ago. You never timed how long it took between the game being over and him getting home since it was different pretty much every night. You think. Again, it’s not like you were stalking the boy. “Uh, I don’t know, half an hour?” you guess, giving them what you hoped was enough information for them to not ask you more.

“So has he sent you any like sexy pics?” Tanaka pips in, you nearly choking on the water you were drinking. 

“What the ever living fuck?” you nearly scream, all your friends laughing at your reaction. “There is no way I would ever tell you. Guys, we’re friends. Yes, he’s cute, hell, he’s fucking hot, but we’ve never physically spent time together, so can we just drop it?” 

They change the subject, going back to the conversation from this afternoon that involved them trying to get you to go out. You loved your friends, they were your found family, but dammit they wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

“Wait, sorry, which apartment is his again?” Jeff asks in the middle of you telling them yet again why you weren’t going out with them. 

You all snap your heads to the other building, the one directly across from you now with lights on. “That one,” you say, Pierre-Luc appearing in the window, all of your friends running up to go wave to him. This was mortifying. Your phone started buzzing on the table, and with Pierre-Luc having his phone out for his friends to see, they knew it was from him.

“What did he say!” Tanaka yells, trying to grab your phone from you. 

“He said get your creepy friends away from the window,” you lie. If you told them he was asking to come over, they would steal your phone and make him come. “Guys, shouldn’t you be going by now? It’s almost 11, the deal at the bar ends at midnight and all of you are still sober,” you point out, praying that it would work.

“Let’s get drunk!” Amy says, grabbing her bag and marching out the door. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?” 

“Yep, I’m going to sleep. Text me when you’re all alive!” you say, pushing them out the door.

Your phone buzzes again, Pierre-Luc asking again if he could come now that your friends were gone. You wanted to say yes, but you knew that as soon as he came over, you would be asleep. Plus he just came from a game, there was no way he wasn’t also exhausted. ‘I’m about to pass out, I’m sorry. We’ll hang out eventually, I promise’

Four

You should be back in your apartment by now. You had told Pierre-Luc that you would be home by 11 pm. You had an early day the next day and staying out late wasn’t something you wanted to do, no matter how good your date went or how attractive you thought the guy was. 

Much to Pierre-Luc’s dismay, you had told him that your friend Amy had set you up with someone she knew from school. You were going out with him tonight, you Facetiming Pierre-Luc while getting ready. He should have just been over there, watching you get ready. No actually, he should have been the one taking you out, but at this point in whatever the hell relationship you had, the first thing that you were going to do in person with each other, besides that one time you fed the alley cat, was hang out in each other’s apartment. 

He was pacing, checking his phone to see if you had sent him anything about your whereabouts. You should have been home by now, why weren’t you home? If you weren’t home in ten minutes, he was going to call the police. No, they wouldn’t do anything. He would figure out how to hack your phone, try to find Amy on social media, something so that he would know you were safe. 

Sitting down on his couch, he positioned himself so he had a direct view of your apartment. As soon as you walked in the door and turn on the light to your living room, he would know. He needed that light to go on right now. 

‘Maybe I should go over and wait outside her door? Would that be creepy?’ he thought to himself, ‘I could say that I was just checking on you, which would technically be true. It’s not like you were going to bring the guy home, right? But what if you did and then I was there sitting outside your door. I can’t ruin things for you.’ 

Why has it taken him so long to even get over to your place? Or for you to come over to his? He hated that your schedules were just different enough that you couldn’t meet up. You were always running out the door when he was just getting home and vice versa. He couldn’t even fathom what he would do the first time he saw you in person.

He should have just kissed you when you were feeding the cat. He knows that he wants to date you, how could he not someone who was sweet enough to do something like that for a random cat but also unafraid to chirp him like his teammates? 

Your light goes on, him doing everything in his power to not jump up and go to his window, but that doesn’t stop him from watching what was happening.

Your date went well; you and David had really hit it off, leading to making out in the elevator ride up, stumbling into your apartment with your lips practically glued to his. You look across to Pierre-Luc’s apartment, him sitting there. You make eye contact with him, smiling because of David. David comes up behind you, starting to kiss you down your neck. You send a thumbs up to Pierre-Luc, closing the curtain as you let David do as he pleases.

Pierre-Luc sits on his couch, dumbfounded by what he just saw. That should have been him. He should have been the one in your apartment with you right now. 

+one

Saturday morning, sitting on your couch, watching Seinfeld. A cup of coffee, your phone, and a plate with some fruit on it, much like the first full day when you moved in. The sky was cloudless and blue, but you weren’t admiring it in the same way as you were that day. You were out with David last night, one month after your first date. You thought everything was going great, until he told you that he wanted to see other people. You shouldn’t have been surprised, he had been saying that he wasn’t sure he was ready for a relationship, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt when he officially broke it off with you. 

‘You’re crying,’ a message from Pierre-Luc pops up on your screen. For a moment, you forgot your curtains were open, giving him a full view into your apartment. 

‘Yep,’ you reply back, not sure what else to say. He could see you, it’s not like you could lie to him. 

‘Need to talk about it?’ 

‘I don’t want to Facetime right now.’

‘Got it,’ was all he said. You look over at his apartment, just in time to see him shutting the door behind him. What the hell was he doing that he could ask you to Facetime and then leave right after? You let out a sigh, deciding to focus on the TV and try to force yourself to eat the fruit. You weren’t going to feel any better if your hunger turned into hanger, so you might as well eat the food that was in front of you. 

You didn’t know where your phone ended up; somewhere in the couch cushions maybe? On the floor? You didn’t even care, you just wanted to wallow and be dramatic for the day. What you weren’t expecting was the knock on your door, interrupting your favorite episode of the show. Getting up, not expecting anyone, you debated even opening the door when you hear his voice on the other side.

“Y/N, it’s me, open up.” You see Pierre-Luc standing there, a bag from the donut shop down the street in hand, a bunch of take out menus in the other.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, him pushing past you and plopping down on the couch, obviously already knowing the way around. 

“You were upset so I wanted to make sure you were alright,” he says, taking out the donuts, putting them on the plate with your fruit, popping a piece in his mouth. “You don’t have to talk about it, but at least this way we’re finally hanging out in person.”

There was something about seeing him sitting on your couch that just felt right. He looked so at home, his feet already up on your table in the way you sat pretty much all the time. He had already started up the episode, replaying it from the beginning so he could see it when you sit down beside him, tucking your feet underneath you. 

“Come here,” he says, reaching his arm out. You cuddle up next to him, your head on his shoulder as he plants a kiss on the top of your head. It felt so right. So much better than with David, so much better than with any of the other guys you had been with. 

“He dumped me,” you tell him, even though you were sure that you had already texted him that last night when you were on your way home. 

“He didn’t deserve you,” you hear him say. He mumbled something else, something you couldn’t quite make out. If he wanted you to hear it, he would have said it louder, you figured.

“He said I play hard to get?” you ask, unsure if that was true or not. Were you hard to get? You slept with the guy on the first night, Pierre-Luc had seen the beginning of it through the window. 

“No, you’re not hard to get, you’re hard to earn. Any guy would be lucky to have you. If I had you, I’d,” he stops himself, mentally kicking himself for opening that can of worms that he really didn’t want to dive into yet. You hadn’t even been out on a first date. If anything, maybe, this was your first date. 

“You’d what?” you say, sitting up, hoping he would continue. This was his first time in your apartment. Something you had both thought about a lot. You wanted to hear what he would do if you were together, hoping whatever he said would actually happen. 

“I’d feed the cat with you in the morning and then do it by myself in the afternoon if I didn’t have a game or something,” he starts, laughing, “I’d go out to breakfast with your friends even if we didn’t go out with them the night before. I’d even hang out with them whenever you did, even though they are a little crazy. You love the people around you, the animals that aren’t even your own pets. You deserve someone who will love you back the way you love everyone and everything.” 

You sit there for a moment, unsure of how to respond. “I should have been the one that night in here with you, not him,” he says, finally admitting it out loud. 

“Do something about it now, then,” you tell him.

“What?” he asks, stunned. 

“Forget that night you saw me with David, and do something now,” you insist. You had wanted this just as bad as he did, so why were either of you waiting?

He starts slow, sweet, his hand on your cheek as he presses his lips to yours. His lips move with yours, his tongue swiping your bottom lip as his other hand snakes it’s way around you back, picking you up from the seat next to you and placing you in his lap. Your hands go through his hair, your mind blank. This was what you had been waiting for since you first saw him.

He pulls away, his cheeks now red, a smile on his face, “I really hope I’m the only one who ever looked through your window.”

“If anyone else is looking then at least they get a little bit of a show,” you say, kissing him again.