#i just wanted to make sure everyone knows that i'm coming from my own experience and that i in no way claim to know whats best. i only know
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dreambunnynotes · 1 year ago
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things to keep in mind before reading my blog:
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1.) self-improvement is not a "one size fits all" experience. my strengths, barriers, methods, and goals are going to be very different from everyone else's, and the methods, routines, and lists i post might not always apply to your life and might not be relevant to your experience at all. i am in no way claiming that my way is the only way; self-improvement is a very personal journey and it is through self-discovery that we learn what works best for us, which i encourage everyone to seek on this beautiful journey! ❤︎
2.) on this same note, this blog is a personal blog which means that i am posting my own unique-to-me self-improvement experience and not necessarily posting with anyone else in mind. please use discernment and only take what inspires you, leaving behind what doesn't. i ask that you do not attack me for posting what i am currently working on in my own journey, unless i am being harmful and need criticism. i am trying to not worry about what other people think of me and focus on my own self-improvement and i encourage you to do the same; keep your body and mind healthy and safe first and foremost, always!
3.) i am very aware of how detrimental the toxic positivity and productivity culture are, especially in north america where i am from, and i try to walk a fine line between discipline and play. my current journey is primarily focused on building up tolerance to discipline and hard work. if you are at a point in your journey where rest and recovery from over-working are integral to your growth, my posts might not be applicable to you and that is totally okay! i respect and support your journey, and please know that my need to focus on hard work at this moment is not in any way an attack on where you are at in yours.
4.) it is very important to me that the health and beauty related information i share is scientifically accurate and is not cultural appropriation. if i post something that is incorrect, insensitive, or harmful, please let me know and i will make sure to edit or take down the post and learn from my mistakes! accountability is important to me and i am always open to learning more.
5.) i do not follow people under the age of 18. it is nothing personal against you if you are a minor, it's just that it is important for me to follow people who are at a similar place in life as me and to make sure that the friends i make are within my appropriate age range. however, all people are welcome on my blog and it will ALWAYS be sfw! when i was a minor on tumblr, it was very important for me to follow adults that i looked up to and who were safe and treated me with respect so that i could grow and learn; you are welcome here, and i will always try to treat you and everyone i interact with with the utmost care and respect!
with love, bunny ❤︎
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postracehair · 4 months ago
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a small request
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max verstappen x reader | 2k
even world champions deserve love letters. after missing the mexico gp, you're determined to see max have a good weekend in brazil. maybe all it takes is a handwritten note.
cw: fem!reader, being in love, softness, a track-side kiss, love letters. and google translate, sorry to any dutch speakers.
a/n: was this inspired by that video from austin? yeah, it was! sue me! also, written/posted before the gp, so. no race details <3 xx
__
You miss race weekend in Mexico. It happens. You can't be there every weekend, much as you'd like to be. You're even more peeved about it after, considering you quite like Carlos and wish you had seen him earn what very well might be his last win with Ferrari. But you're mostly upset because Max, though he won't say so, could probably have used your support.
Years of experience have him calm, cool, and collected despite the team troubles. Flippant, some headlines say. Mad Max, others. But you know he's probably just tired. Tired of the media, of the FIA, of the churning conflict between him and Lando -- something you all knew was coming someday, but maybe not so suddenly. The longest season ever continues to drag and drag and drag.
"Twenty seconds was...Christ, Max," you say. You know what happened, of course. You watched what you could, saw the sharp moves around the corner and heard the radios. It never gets easier, watching him take risks like that. Usually, everyone else backs off, but McLaren can see victory on the horizon and won't let it go. You can't blame them, either of them, you just wish it was all a bit less tense.
"I know," he says, voice raspy over the connection. "I -- well, you know how I feel about it. Don't want to say anything in case the FIA is tapping my phone."
You laugh into your hand so you don't disturb the other people in the airline lounge, not entirely used to places like this, still. Max has told you over and over that it's absurd for you to spend your own money when you're coming to see him all over the world. When you told him you moved things around so you could come to Brazil, he booked you the nicest ticket, per usual.
"Oh, ha, ha," you say. "Don't give them any ideas, Mr. Community Service." You sigh. "Do you need anything? Be honest."
"Aren't you at the airport already? Your flight should be leaving in --" A pause, like he's checking his watch -- "forty minutes."
You glance up at the departures screen. He's right, but you don't give it to him so easily. "Know my schedule, do you?"
"Well, I booked your ticket, so I should think so."
"Your assistant booked it, you mean."
He hums and you picture him in his hotel room, maybe at the window, looking over the city. "I know your flight information. Don't be silly."
"I mean it, Max," you say again. "Is there anything I can do to make the weekend better?" It's a bit of a useless question and you expect him to answer with a snarky get me a new car or apply for the position of steward.
But he doesn't. He clears his throat.
"I'm just glad you're coming," he says, softly. "I've missed you."
You never doubt how Max feels about you, but he must be pretty tired to admit it like this. He's all about actions, this man. Making sure you have what you need when you're at the track, arranging your travel, remembering your schedule. He shows you how much you matter, and that's more than enough. He never wants to make you feel bad for having a life beyond being his girlfriend. And this doesn't, not really. It just makes you ache, fills your chest with the hopeless affection you've felt for him for so long.
"I've missed you, too," you reply. "But I'd like to be useful."
"Oh, I can think of a few things, then," Max says, all of a sudden all cheek. Such a boy, sometimes. A boy in love.
You can't help but laugh, face hot. "Hush, you!"
He huffs. A few beats of silence, the comfortable, well-worn kind. Sometimes, when he's halfway across the world and up late on the sim, he'll call you just to hear you breathe.
"Max?"
"I -- do you remember what you did for my birthday?"
He'd wanted something small, quiet. There was a lot of work to be done with the team but three weekends off meant you had a little time to yourselves. A few days hardly leaving his place, a dinner with some of the guys, a cake you made yourself, hand-delivered in bed. Gifts for a very wealthy man are difficult, especially since Max doesn't seem to want much.
"Oh, the pillow with my face on it?"
Max laughs. The lounge loudspeaker announces that your flight is going to board soon, so you gather your things but keep your phone wedged next to your ear.
"No, the other thing," he says. He clears his throat and summons some of that World Champion courage. "The letter."
You'd written him a fairly long love letter, thinking it would be a nice thing to carry to the races you couldn't be at this fall. It was tempting to be embarrassed about it when you gave it to him the morning of his birthday, but his cheeks had gone pink and he'd buried his face in your neck.
"Oh, that," you say. The airport is busier outside the lounge and you push your case in the direction of your gate weaving between. people.
"You could write me another, maybe."
Max is direct. He is honest, at work and at home, but this surprises you a little.
"You do know I'm about to get on a plane to see you, right?"
He huffs, and you imagine his cheeks pink, eyes bright. "You asked!"
"I'll write you another love letter, Max Verstappen," you assure him. "I'll write you a hundred."
"One is a fine start," he says firmly. "You should be boarding soon, and I've got to go to the press conference. Text me when you've landed?"
"Of course," you reply, eyes rolling though he can't see. "I'll see you soon, okay? Love you."
"Love you, liefje."
On the plane, you tear out some pages from your journal. You'd prefer to have some nice stationery like what you wrote on for his birthday, but maybe this is more romantic, more real. Making do with that you've got because he asked.
In the last one, you told him your memories of when you first met. How your stomach swooped when you made him laugh, how his blue eyes wouldn't leave your dreams. In this one you tell him about when you first realized you loved him. How absurdly early you were sure, how badly you wanted to tell him for weeks. The way you remember every second of when you blurted it out -- his face, his smile. His voice in your ear, telling you over and over, geliefde, ik houd van je, zo veel. I love you, so much.
"You're working hard on that," someone says. You look up at your seatmate, a woman a few decades older than you with a heavy accent.
You feel a little like you've been caught doing something illicit, but you just smile at her. "For my boyfriend," you tell her. "A love letter."
She flattens her palm over heart and sighs. "How lovely," she coos. "I hope he takes care of you, too."
We take care of each other, you want to say. You could tell her about how he sends you postcards from every country he goes to after you told him you like to put them on your fridge. You could tell her how sometimes you text him during his streams to make him laugh on camera. How he remembers your favorites, how he saves you his special team gear, how he sends you flowers all the time. How he likes to sit on the couch, your toes under his thigh, fingers around your ankle. How you've been learning Dutch and how he patiently corrects your pronunciation. You could go on and on and on.
"He does," you say instead.
__
The plane lands safely in Brazil, but the pilot tells you that there is no open gate and that you'll be sitting for a while. You text Max.
stuck on tarmac, will be later than expected! :(
He must be in media responsibilities still because he doesn't reply until you finally get off the plane.
go relax at the hotel. i'll see you for dinner!
You find your ride easy enough and take a deep breath. The letter you wrote on the plane feels heavy in your pocket, and you just want to see Max. To be near him again. To give him this small thing he asked for.
"Excuse me," you say to the driver. "Do you think we could go to the track, instead?"
You text Max's assistant to say you're headed there, hoping it's not too much of an inconvenience. You're told he's almost done, maybe an hour left, and when you arrive you're led to his driver rooms. His shit is everywhere, per usual. Max is quite neat except in here -- Carmen once told you that George is the same. Clothes strewn about, his race boots unlaced and left in the way, warm-up equipment in a pile. On the table are a few of his things -- his wallet, a notebook, some papers.
Wait a second. One of those papers looks...familiar. It's been folded in three, the envelope it came in nowhere to be seen. His name is scrawled on the blank side in your hand and when you tug it from the pile you can see that it's creased, the edges a little more worn than when you gave it to him a few months ago. Max Verstappen, three-time World Champion, actually carries around the love letter you wrote him. Brings it to the track. It's darling. You love him so much. You pull the new one from your pocket and set them side-by-side on the table where he'll find them.
You ask to be taken to the pit wall, please, so you can see whatever the drivers are doing on track. Some dedication, you're told. The timing ends up being perfect and you get there just as they're finishing. You lean on a gap in the barrier where, on Sunday, crew members will be holding timing signs as the drivers zip around the hot pavement. The crowd in the stands is loud, as always, and maybe you imagine it but it seems to get a little louder when you look out.
The guys are talking amongst themselves and a few of them wave at you. You spot Max as he turns away from Charles and you can't help but grin. His eyes meet yours under his cap and his entire face chances, softens, and he breaks into a jog. You lean out over the concrete ledge and meet him in a kiss that's more two smiles pressed together than anything else.
"This is a surprise," he says when he pulls away. Eyes sparkling, he shows no signs of rejoining the other drivers as they head to whatever their next thing is. Photos, probably.
"I missed you," you tell him. "I've left you something in your room."
"Oh?" He straightens the lanyard of your credentials with careful fingers.
You reach for him, palm on his cheek. His stubble tickles and he leans into it ever so slightly. It doesn't feel like there are thousands of eyes on you, not even a little.
"Yeah," you say. "As promised." Someone calls his name. "Go on, then. I'll be waiting."
He kisses you again, a quick brush of his lips on the corner of your mouth.
Later, you'll wake from your nap in the hotel room to those same kisses on your cheeks, your forehead. Max will gather you in his arms and tell you all the moments he almost told you he loved you, how he could hardly believe when you said it first. You'll tease him for how many times he's read that first letter and he'll cheekily say that's why he needs more. And you will write him more, you'll write him as many as he wants. As many as you can, for the rest of your lives.
But now, in front of thousands of screaming fans, he smiles at only you, boyish and pleased.
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xitsensunmoon · 9 months ago
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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)
The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!
Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.
The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)
Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c
As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!
And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.
I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.
Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)
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kaiyunsim · 25 days ago
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just a boy —
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pairing : fuckboy!jay x gn!reader
summary : you meet jay at a party where you reject him after making a move… he likes it when they play hard to get.
warnings : angst, fluff, more angst than fluff tbh, uni au, reader is a freshman, jay is older, featuring heeseung + jake, jisung from nct, and minju from illit
a/n : omg fun to write is actually an understatement. i hope it turned out fun to read :) also for my pookie @writhyv
queueing : just a boy - alaina castillo,
— wc : 6.6 — not proof read —
you don't really care about parties. they're loud, crowded, and always filled with people trying too hard. but minju drags you along anyway, insisting that you need to "experience the university nightlife" at least once.
"come on, it'll be fun," she says, looping her arm through yours. "plus, jisung bailed on me, and i am not third-wheeling jake and his situationship all night."
so now you're here, standing awkwardly in the corner of a frat house, gripping a red solo cup filled with something that smells suspiciously like gasoline. minju is already off somewhere, talking to a girl from her english class, and you're left to watch as people dance, drink, and make questionable decisions.
"you look miserable," a voice says from beside you.
you turn and come face to face with park jongseong, jay, as everyone calls him. you know his name, even if you've never spoken before. he's older, popular, and has a reputation that follows him everywhere he goes.
flirt. player. fuckboy.
minju has warned you about him. "he's hot, yeah, but he's the kind of guy who doesn't do relationships. he flirts, hooks up, and moves on. trust me, i've seen it happen."
but none of that matters, because you have no plans to entertain him.
jay grins at you, leaning against the wall like he owns the place. he's got that easy confidence, the kind that comes with knowing he's attractive and that people want him.
"not a fan of parties?" he asks, tilting his head.
you shrug. "not really."
he chuckles. "then why are you here?"
"minju."
his eyebrows raise slightly. "you know minju?"
"from high school." you say, keeping your answers short.
"interesting," he muses, eyes scanning your face like he's trying to place you somewhere in his memory. he doesn't seem to recognize you, though, which isn't surprising. you've never exactly run in the same circles.
"so," he says, shifting closer. "wanna dance?"
it's not a question, not really. it's the kind of offer people don't usually refuse, not when it comes from him. jay park doesn't get turned down.
but you just blink at him and say, "no, thanks."
his smile falters, just for a second, before he recovers. "really? you sure? i promise i'm a good dancer."
"i'm sure." you say with a fake smile, giving off the vibe that you’re annoyed
he lets out a soft laugh, like he can't believe you're actually rejecting him. his ego must be bruised, but he hides it well, still looking at you with interest.
"alright," he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "then how about a drink? i can get you something better than… whatever that is." he nods at your cup.
"i'm good."
"wow," he murmurs, shaking his head in amusement. "you're really not making this easy for me, huh?"
"should i?"
he grins, running a hand through his dark hair. "most people do."
"well, i'm not most people."
jay studies you for a moment, like he's trying to figure out why you're different. why you're not reacting the way everyone else does. you don't bat your lashes at him, don't giggle or play into his flirting. and for some reason, instead of turning him away, it only seems to intrigue him more.
"i like you," he says suddenly.
you roll your eyes. "you don't even know me."
"not yet," he agrees, "but i’d like to."
there's something almost playful in his voice, but you know better. jay isn’t interested in getting to know people. he's interested in chasing, in winning. and right now, you’re just another game to him.
"keep liking me from a distance," you say, brushing past him.
you don’t look back, but you feel his eyes on you as you walk away.
for the first time in his life, park jongseong has been rejected. and somehow, you think that only makes him more determined.
you don't think much about your encounter with jay. to you, it was just another conversation at a party, one you barely wanted to be at in the first place.
but apparently, jay thinks otherwise.
it starts with small things.
you see him at the campus café, where he just so happens to show up right behind you in line.
"oh, hey," he says casually, as if running into you is pure coincidence.
you glance at him, unimpressed. "hey."
"what are you getting?"
you turn back to the menu. "haven't decided."
"let me guess," he hums, tapping a finger against his chin like he's solving some great mystery. "you seem like a caramel macchiato kind of person."
you raise a brow. "what does that even mean?"
jay grins, leaning in slightly. "sweet, but a little bitter if you get on their bad side."
"so basically, you're guessing."
"i call it an educated guess," he says, nodding at the cashier. "get one. my treat."
"no, thanks."
he lets out a dramatic sigh. "you really don't like accepting things from me, huh?"
"nope."
instead of looking discouraged, jay just watches as you place your order, an iced americano, completely different from what he guessed.
he chuckles. "so i was way off."
"yup."
you take your drink and leave without another word. jay doesn’t follow, but you swear you feel his stare on your back as you walk away.
it keeps happening.
and then, one afternoon, you’re sitting under a tree, trying to get through an assignment, when someone drops into the grass beside you.
"you always look so serious," jay muses.
you don’t even glance up. "because i'm trying to focus."
"right, right." he leans back on his hands. "but don't you ever take a break?"
"nope."
"come on," he nudges your knee with his. "five minutes won't kill you."
you sigh, finally looking at him. "do you need something?"
jay flashes you that same easy grin, the one that probably gets him whatever he wants. "just your company."
"i think you’ll survive without it."
he clutches his chest dramatically. "ouch. you wound me."
"you’ll live."
jay just laughs, shaking his head. "you know, you’re making this really difficult."
"making what difficult?"
"getting to know you."
"who said i wanted you to?"
he stares at you for a moment, eyes glinting with something unreadable. then, instead of answering, he stands up and dusts himself off.
"alright," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "guess i’ll try again tomorrow."
before you can process his words, he's already walking away.
"okay, what is going on?" minju asks a few days later, sliding into the seat across from you in the dining hall.
"what do you mean?"
she gestures dramatically. "you and jay. he keeps staring at you. he keeps showing up wherever you are."
"it's just a coincidence."
"coincidence my ass," she huffs. "he’s interested."
"interested in what? flirting with someone who doesn’t want to flirt back?"
"exactly!" minju exclaims. "he's never been rejected before! you’re like. like. his first loss."
"not a loss," you correct. "just… not a win."
"same thing in his mind." she leans in, eyes narrowing. "be honest. do you like him?"
you snort. "no."
"not even a little?"
"minju, he flirts with anything that breathes."
"true," she concedes, stabbing a piece of her salad. "but he’s never tried this hard before."
you roll your eyes. "and that’s exactly why i’m not interested. he only wants what he can’t have."
"so you think if you gave in, he’d lose interest?"
"obviously. but it’s not like i want him to be interested in the first place,”
but what you don’t see is jay, sitting at another table with jake and heeseung, watching you from across the room.
"so," heeseung says, "still trying?"
jay sips his drink, not looking away. "yup."
jake shakes his head, laughing. "dude, you're obsessed."
"i'm not obsessed," jay scoffs. "i'm just… interested."
heeseung raises a brow. "in what? winning?"
jay pauses. that should be the answer. that’s how it always is. he flirts, he wins, he moves on. but this time, it feels different.
"i dunno," he mutters, eyes still locked on you. "but i wanna find out."
and just like that, park jongseong makes it his mission to make you fall for him.
whether you want to or not.
you’re starting to think the universe has a cruel sense of humor.
there’s no other explanation for why jay park keeps showing up everywhere you go.
first, it’s the café… again. you stop by for your usual iced americano, and there he is, leaning against the counter like he has all the time in the world. when he sees you, his lips curl into a smirk.
"you stalking me now?" he teases.
you blink at him. "this is literally my usual spot."
"yeah?" he muses, stepping aside so you can order. "funny. seems like it’s mine now too."
you ignore him and pay for your drink, but as you turn to leave, he suddenly holds out a muffin. "here."
you frown. "what is this?"
"peace offering," he says. "for annoying you so much."
"i don't want it."
jay tuts, shaking his head. "harsh. you don’t like sweets?"
"i don’t like you."
he laughs, completely unbothered. "that’s not true. you just won’t admit you think i’m funny."
you roll your eyes and walk past him, but not before he calls out, "see you around!"
unfortunately, he’s right.
the second time, it’s the library.
you’re sitting at a table, halfway through an essay, when someone slides into the seat across from you.
you don’t need to look up. "seriously?"
jay rests his chin on his palm, grinning. "seriously."
"do you even study?"
"i do now." he gestures to his laptop, which, sure enough, is open.
you sigh and turn back to your work, ignoring him completely. for the first ten minutes, he’s quiet, and you start to think maybe—just maybe—he’s actually here to study.
but then he leans forward. "you always this focused?"
"yes."
"cute," he murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear.
you finally look at him, unimpressed. "why are you here?"
"what, a guy can’t expand his knowledge?"
"you haven’t typed a single word."
jay glances at his screen, where his essay is blank. he shrugs. "i’m thinking."
"about what?"
"about how long it’s gonna take for you to admit you like having me around."
you let out a slow breath, standing up and gathering your things. "good luck with that."
"where you going?"
"somewhere quiet."
jay watches you leave, the smirk never leaving his face.
you think that’s the end of it.
until your professor assigns a group project.
"you’ll be working in pairs," she says. "check the list for your partner."
you scan the names, looking for yours, and freeze.
park jongseong.
"you’ve got to be kidding me," you mutter.
"what?" minju asks, peering over your shoulder. then she snorts. "oh. wow. the universe really has it out for you."
you groan, dropping your head onto the desk.
"who’d you get?"
you glance up to see jisung standing beside you, holding his own paper.
"jay," minju answers for you.
jisung grimaces. "yikes."
"yep."
before you can say anything else, someone taps your shoulder.
"guess we’re partners," jay says, voice far too amused.
you sigh. "don’t remind me.”
working with jay is… not as painful as you expected.
you still don’t like him. obviously. but he’s not completely useless.
turns out, he’s actually smart. and organized. he doesn’t slack off or make you do all the work. and—annoyingly—he’s kind of funny.
you realize this when you’re both at the library, bouncing ideas off each other.
"okay, so we could go with this topic," you say, scrolling through the research.
jay hums. "or we could pick something that won’t make me want to throw myself off a building."
you bite back a smile. "dramatic much?"
"you’re underestimating my ability to get bored."
"i think that’s just your problem."
jay gasps, placing a hand over his chest. "ouch. i thought we were bonding."
"we’re working."
"same thing."
you shake your head, but you don’t argue.
slowly, things shift.
you still tell yourself that jay is just playing a game. but sometimes, you catch him looking at you—really looking—and for a moment, it doesn’t feel like one.
like when you’re at the library, and you yawn without thinking.
"tired?" he asks.
"obviously."
without a word, he slides his drink toward you.
you blink. "what—"
"it’s an americano," he says simply.
you hesitate, then take a sip. "it’s sweet."
jay shrugs. "i like sugar."
you give him a look. "so you were way off when you guessed my order last time."
he grins. "guess so."
you shake your head, but you don’t push the drink back.
"okay, so he’s not the worst person alive," you admit later.
minju stares at you. "who are you and what have you done with my friend?"
"i’m serious," you say. "he’s… fine. actually kind of helpful."
minju sighs. "that’s how it starts."
"how what starts?"
"you start thinking he’s not that bad. then, before you know it, you’re catching feelings."
"i’m not catching anything."
she gives you a look. "just be careful, okay? he’s only this persistent because you’re the first person to say no."
you nod, but her words stick in your head.
you tell yourself you don’t care.
but then one night, you’re leaving the library, and jay is waiting outside.
"walking alone at this hour?" he muses. "dangerous."
you raise an eyebrow. "and you’re what? my bodyguard?"
jay smirks. "i could be."
"no thanks."
"still," he says, falling into step beside you. "i’ll walk you back."
"you don’t have to."
"i know."
you sigh, but you let him.
the walk is quiet, save for the sound of your footsteps. when you reach your building, you stop.
"this is me," you say.
jay nods. "guess i’ll see you tomorrow."
"guess so."
he hesitates, then lifts a hand, ruffling your hair before you can react.
you blink. "what the—"
he just grins. "goodnight."
then he’s gone, leaving you standing there, heart doing something it definitely shouldn’t be doing.
this is bad.
really bad.
the next party is loud, too loud. music shakes the floor, conversations overlap, and the air is thick with the scent of alcohol and sweat. you don’t even know why you’re here.
well. you do.
minju dragged you out, saying you’ve been too cooped up with schoolwork and your stupid group project (which, unfortunately, includes jay park). jisung backed her up, insisting you needed to “socialize like a normal human being.”
so now you’re here, standing in the corner of someone’s crowded apartment, gripping a half-empty cup of soda because you don’t drink, and pretending you’re interested in whatever minju is talking about.
until you see him.
jay.
you tell yourself you shouldn’t be surprised. parties are his thing, after all. loud music, dim lighting, a sea of people who’d fall into his arms without hesitation.
he fits right in.
too well.
you spot him across the room, leaning against the wall, that lazy smirk on his lips. there’s a girl beside him, standing too close, laughing at something he just said. she tilts her head, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. jay doesn’t move away.
he says something else, something that makes her giggle, and then he leans in,,, just a little.
your stomach twists.
it’s stupid. so, so stupid.
this is what he does. this is who he is. he flirts with everyone. you’ve seen it before. you knew this about him before he even knew your name.
but tonight, it bothers you.
you don’t know why, and you don’t want to think about it.
"you okay?" minju asks, nudging your arm.
"yeah," you say too quickly. "just… tired."
she eyes you but doesn’t press. "wanna leave soon?"
you nod. "yeah."
but before you can say anything else, you feel a presence beside you.
"hey," a familiar voice says.
you turn, and there he is.
jay.
his smirk is gone.
"what do you want?" you ask, not in the mood for whatever game he’s playing tonight.
he hesitates, glancing at minju, then back at you. "can we talk?"
"no."
he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "please?"
minju looks between the two of you, then slowly backs away. "i’ll be over there," she says, pointing to jisung.
you cross your arms. "what?"
jay doesn’t answer right away. instead, he exhales, then jerks his head toward the door. "outside?"
you should say no. you should walk away. but there’s something in his eyes, something that makes your chest feel too tight, so you follow him out.
the cool night air is a relief against your heated skin. outside, the noise is muffled, distant, like the party belongs to a different world.
you stop a few steps away from the door, crossing your arms. "well?"
jay shoves his hands into his pockets. "you looked upset."
you scoff. "why do you care?"
"because," he says, stepping closer, "i do."
you laugh, but it’s humorless. "you flirt with someone else, then come running after me? what is this, jay?"
his jaw tightens. "it’s not like that."
"really? because it sure as hell looked like it."
"you think i do this with everyone?" his voice is sharper now, frustration leaking through. "yeah, i flirt, but this,whatever this is, is different, and you know it."
your breath catches.
different.
he said it first.
but that doesn’t change anything.
"do i?" you challenge. "because it looks exactly the same to me."
jay groans, running a hand through his hair. "i didn’t even realize what i was doing."
"that’s not making this better."
"i know!" he snaps. "i just—fuck."
he exhales, tilting his head back like he’s trying to find the right words in the sky. then, softer, he says, "it’s a habit, okay? flirting, keeping things surface-level. that’s just how i’ve always been."
you swallow, suddenly unsure. "then why are you here?"
jay takes another step forward, close enough that you can see the tension in his shoulders, the crease in his brows.
"because i don’t want this to be surface-level," he admits. "not with you."
the words knock the air out of your lungs.
for a moment, neither of you speak.
then you say, "so what? you want me to believe that you’re suddenly different?"
"i don’t know," he admits. "but i know i don’t want to fuck this up."
you stare at him, at the raw honesty in his expression.
this is dangerous territory.
you should walk away.
you don’t.
but then you think about that girl inside, the way he leaned in so easily, the way it took him this long to come after you.
"you say that," you murmur, voice quieter now, "but you still went back to your usual thing the second i wasn’t around."
jay flinches.
"it didn’t mean anything," he says, quickly, desperately. "i wasn’t even thinking about her."
"exactly," you say bitterly. "you weren’t thinking at all."
jay opens his mouth, then closes it.
"you don’t even realize what you’re doing," you continue, voice tight. "you don’t realize how easily you slip into old habits. you say this is different, but are you sure?"
"yes," jay says, without hesitation.
you laugh, but it’s broken. "then why do i feel like i’m just setting myself up to get hurt?"
he doesn’t have an answer for that.
silence stretches between you, heavy and suffocating.
jay looks like he wants to say something, to fix this somehow, but what is there to fix? he’s still the same jay park who flirts with everyone, who doesn’t think before he acts, who only realizes too late that he might actually care.
"you’re not ready for this," you whisper.
"i am," he insists, but there’s something fragile in his voice, something that tells you even he isn’t sure if he’s telling the truth.
you shake your head. "i don’t think you are."
jay reaches out, just a little, like he wants to touch you, like he wants you to stay.
but you step back.
his hand drops.
and with that, you turn around and walk away.
jay doesn’t call after you.
he doesn’t chase you this time.
and maybe that tells you everything you need to know.
you avoid him.
it’s not hard at first. you’re in different years, different circles. you stop going to the café where you know he likes to hang out between classes, ignore the parties minju tries to drag you to, and duck your head whenever you spot him on campus.
the only problem is that jay notices.
you’re not sure when it happens, but at some point, jay park—fuckboy, campus heartbreaker, the guy who shouldn’t care—is suddenly watching you.
you feel it in the way his eyes linger too long when you pass by in the hallway, in the way his conversations falter when you’re around, in the way his whole demeanor shifts whenever you deliberately turn away.
he doesn’t chase after you.
but he’s not ignoring it, either.
and that’s what makes it worse.
it would be easier if he didn’t care, if he went right back to flirting with someone else like nothing ever happened. but he doesn’t.
and that terrifies you.
so you run faster.
"okay, what is wrong with you?"
jay exhales sharply, gripping the pool cue tighter. "nothing."
"bullshit."
heeseung snatches the stick out of his hands before he can even attempt a shot. jay scowls, reaching for it, but heeseung just leans away.
"bro, you’ve been in the worst mood for, like, a week," jake says, spinning an unmarked beer bottle between his fingers. "just admit it."
jay glares. "admit what?"
heeseung rolls his eyes. "that you’re being a little bitch about this whole thing."
jay scoffs. "about what?"
"oh my god," jake groans. "are you in denial, or just stupid?"
jay clenches his jaw. "neither."
heeseung and jake share a look, and jay hates that they’re silently communicating in that annoying, knowing way that only best friends do.
"listen," heeseung starts, "you don’t do feelings. we get it. but this? whatever’s happening between you and—"
"don’t say their name," jay mutters, looking away.
heeseung smirks. "oh, so you do care?"
jay exhales, tilting his head back against the worn leather of the booth.
fuck.
he doesn’t know what this is.
he just knows that it sucks.
he didn’t think avoiding them would be a big deal. people walk away from him all the time, sometimes before he can even do it first.
but this?
this feels different.
it feels like something is missing. like something is slipping through his fingers and he’s too fucking slow to catch it.
"you don’t even like people," jake points out.
jay sighs. "i like you guys."
"yeah, but we don’t count," heeseung snorts. "we’re basically required to deal with your bullshit."
jay scoffs, shoving his shoulder, but heeseung just grins.
then, quieter, he says, "this is the first time you’ve actually looked miserable over someone."
jay doesn’t answer.
"so what are you gonna do about it?" jake asks.
jay exhales, drumming his fingers against the table.
he doesn’t know.
but he knows he can’t keep pretending this is nothing.
not anymore.
you don’t know why you look.
it’s just a normal afternoon. you’re heading toward the library, minju walking beside you, talking about something jisung said earlier.
and then you see him.
jay is standing near the campus courtyard, golden light catching the sharp edges of his jawline. he’s not alone.
there’s a girl with him. she’s standing close—too close. her hand is on his arm, fingers curling lightly around the sleeve of his jacket. she laughs at something he says, head tilting, eyes locked on his.
and jay?
jay just smiles.
it’s the same smile you’ve seen before, the same effortless charm, the same easy confidence that has made him a campus legend. he leans in slightly, talking low, his posture relaxed like he’s done this a thousand times.
because he has.
your chest tightens.
"hey, you okay?" minju asks beside you, nudging your arm.
you snap your gaze away, pulse quickening. you shouldn’t care. you knew what he was like before you even met him. you knew he flirted with anyone he found attractive, that he never had to try, that he never faced rejection.
you knew he was never meant to be serious.
so why does it feel like something inside you is caving in?
"yeah," you mumble. "just remembered something i have to do."
minju frowns, but you don’t give her a chance to question it. before she can say anything, you turn and walk the other way, ignoring the burning feeling in your chest.
you don’t look back.
and jay doesn’t notice you leaving.
yet, jay can tell something’s wrong.
he doesn’t know what it is, but he can feel it.
it’s in the way you won’t look at him, the way you walk past him like he’s just another face in the crowd.
at first, he thinks he’s imagining it. you were never friends to begin with—maybe you were just busy, maybe this is normal.
but the shift is undeniable.
before, you’d at least acknowledge him. you’d give him a polite nod, a passing glance, sometimes even a subtle eyeroll when you caught him flirting.
now?
nothing.
he sees you on campus, and you don’t even flinch.
he walks past your usual café, and you’re not there.
he catches you in the library and for a second. just a second. he swears you meet his gaze.
but then you turn away.
like he’s not even there.
he doesn’t plan to confront you.
but after a week of this, of whatever this is, he finds himself standing outside your dorm, hands shoved in his pockets, frustration bubbling under his skin.
he doesn’t even know why he’s here.
it’s not like you owe him anything.
but still, he knocks.
no answer.
he exhales sharply, rocking back on his heels, debating whether to try again.
then, he hears footsteps.
"what are you doing here?"
jay turns, finding jisung standing a few feet away, arms crossed.
"looking for y/n," jay says. "they’ve been… acting weird."
jisung raises an eyebrow. "and you just noticed?"
jay frowns. "what’s that supposed to mean?"
jisung exhales, shaking his head. "they saw you," he says simply.
jay’s stomach tightens. "...what?"
"the other day. in the courtyard. with that girl."
jay blinks, the memory slotting into place. shit.
"they saw you smiling at her," jisung continues, his voice even but firm. "letting her touch you. looking at her the way they thought—" he stops himself, sighing. "never mind."
jay’s pulse kicks up. "you think they—"
"they think they were stupid for believing you might actually be different with them," jisung cuts in, sharper now. "they think they almost fell for the same bullshit you pull on everyone else."
jay clenches his jaw.
fuck.
he wasn’t thinking. he didn’t even realize.
but now, remembering the moment, the way the girl had laughed, the way she had leaned in, the way he hadn’t pulled away—
he understands.
and it feels like he just lost something important without even knowing he had it.
"if you’re gonna say something, make it worth their time," jisung says. "because right now? they don’t want anything to do with you."
jay doesn’t answer.
because for the first time in his life, he’s the one who got it wrong.
he’s the one who let something real slip through his fingers.
and he has no idea how to fix it.
but he knows one thing—
he has to try.
you don’t expect him to be waiting for you.
it’s late. you just finished a study session with minju, and all you want is to go back to your dorm, crawl under the covers, and forget about everything—forget about him.
but as soon as you step into the dimly lit hallway leading to your room, you see him.
jay.
leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, jaw tight, eyes dark with something unreadable.
your heart stutters.
you hesitate, debating whether to turn around, pretend you didn’t see him. but then he looks up—really looks at you—and you know there’s no escape.
"we need to talk," he says, pushing off the wall.
fuck jisung for letting him in.
"i don’t think we do," you mutter, stepping past him, reaching for your door.
but before you can, jay moves, his hand catching your wrist—gently, cautiously, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away.
"please," he says.
you freeze.
he’s never said please before. at least, not like this. not as desperate as this.
slowly, you turn to face him, sighing. "jay—"
"just let me say this," he cuts in, eyes burning with something raw, something you’ve never seen on him before. desperation.
you press your lips together but nod.
jay exhales, running a hand through his hair. "i—fuck, i don’t know how to do this," he mutters, shaking his head. "i’m not good at this."
"then don’t," you say, voice sharper than you intended. "don’t stand here and feed me some excuse about how you 'don’t do relationships' or 'didn’t mean to hurt me.' i don’t want to hear it."
jay flinches. "that’s not what i was gonna say."
you cross your arms. "then what?"
he swallows hard, eyes flickering to the floor before meeting yours again. "i—i don’t know how to do this, because i’ve never felt like this before."
your breath catches.
"i didn’t even realize what i was doing," jay continues, voice quieter now. "i didn’t think. i’ve never had to. flirting, messing around—it’s just… easy. but you—" he exhales sharply. "you make things different."
you shake your head. "jay—"
"i don’t want anyone else," he interrupts, stepping closer, voice steady. "just you."
your chest tightens.
"and when you get bored?" you ask, voice barely above a whisper. "when someone new comes along?"
jay shakes his head immediately. "i don’t think i could ever get bored of you."
it’s too much.
too much to believe, too much to trust, too much to risk.
"how am i supposed to believe that?" you ask, eyes searching his face. "how am i supposed to believe you won’t wake up one day and decide i was just another name on your list?"
jay exhales, stepping even closer, until there’s barely any space between you. "because no one’s ever made me feel like this before."
your pulse is loud in your ears.
"i don’t know how to do relationships," he admits, voice low, honest. "i don’t know how to be what you deserve. but i want to try. i want to figure it out—with you."
he’s so close now. close enough that you can smell the faint scent of his cologne, close enough that you can see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear of being rejected, of losing you.
you shouldn’t.
you should walk away.
you should protect yourself, guard your heart, not fall for the one person who could break you the easiest.
but then jay reaches up, fingers brushing against your cheek, his touch hesitant, almost trembling.
"please," he murmurs, his voice almost breaking.
jay park—unshakable, confident, the fuckboy—is breaking in front of you.
and against all logic, all reason—you fall.
before you can think, before you can stop yourself, you close the space between you.
his breath catches, just for a second, before his lips press against yours, warm and desperate.
jay kisses you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, like he’s trying to prove every word he just said. his hands cup your face, pulling you closer, holding you like you’re something fragile—something precious.
and when you kiss him back, letting yourself believe—just for this moment—that maybe, just maybe, this could be real, he sighs against your lips, like he’s just found something he’s been searching for all along.
your relationship with jay park is different.
you knew it wouldn’t be easy, falling for someone who never had to try, who never had to work for love. but you never expected this.
never expected him to try so hard.
at first, it’s awkward. jay doesn’t know what he’s doing. he’s used to effortless flirting, meaningless hookups, relationships that start and end in the span of a night.
but with you?
he wants to be better. he wants to be different.
so he does things he’s never done before.
he waits for you after class, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, eyes lighting up when he sees you.
"did you eat?" he asks one day, falling into step beside you.
you blink. "uh… yeah?"
jay nods, looking relieved. "okay. cool. just—yeah. cool."
he’s awkward. jay park, campus fuckboy, the smooth talker who never falters, is awkward.
you bite back a smile. "did you eat?"
he hesitates.
you raise an eyebrow. "jay."
he clears his throat. "…no."
you sigh, grabbing his sleeve and dragging him toward the campus café. he lets you, grinning like you just gave him the world.
the first time he reaches for your hand, it’s so casual that you almost miss it.
you’re sitting next to each other, watching a movie in the dorm common room. your hand rests between you, fingers brushing against his.
then, slowly, hesitantly, jay links his pinky with yours.
your heart stutters.
you glance at him, but he’s staring straight at the screen, his jaw tight, his ears slightly red.
you bite your lip.
then, without a word, you let your fingers slip fully into his.
jay stiffens for half a second. then, his grip tightens, and he exhales, shoulders relaxing.
he doesn’t let go for the rest of the movie.
he’s not used to jealousy.
or rather, he’s not used to his own jealousy.
he’s seen people get possessive over him before, watched girls glare when he flirted with someone new, felt the heat of their disappointment when they realized he wasn’t theirs.
but now?
now he understands.
he understands because he’s standing in the middle of campus, watching some guy—some random guy—smile at you like he has a chance.
and jay hates it.
he crosses the distance before he can think, sliding an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his side.
"hey, baby," he murmurs, voice low, casual, possessive.
your eyes widen. "jay?"
"who’s this?" jay asks, looking at the guy.
the guy blinks, glancing between the two of you. "uh, just—just a classmate."
jay smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "cool. yeah. we gotta go, though."
you barely have time to say goodbye before jay is leading you away, his grip firm but gentle.
once you’re out of earshot, you elbow him. "what was that?"
jay shrugs. "didn’t like the way he was looking at you."
you roll your eyes. "you can’t just—"
he stops walking, turning to face you, eyes serious. "i know i don’t have the right," he admits. "but i don’t like it. i don’t like the idea of someone else thinking they can have you."
your breath catches.
"you’re mine," jay says, voice softer now. "right?"
you stare at him for a moment.
then, finally, you sigh, reaching up to flick his forehead.
"yeah," you mutter. "i’m yours."
jay grins, rubbing his forehead. "damn right."
heeseung and jake pretend to be disgusted.
"you’re whipped," jake says, shaking his head.
"nah, man, this is worse than we thought," heeseung adds. "he’s holding hands in public."
jay glares at them from across the table, but he doesn’t let go of your hand.
"you guys are just mad i have a functional love life," he says.
jake snorts. "yeah, sure. functional."
"bet he calls them ‘baby’ over text," heeseung whispers loudly.
jake gasps. "you think he—"
"shut up," jay groans.
you’re trying not to laugh. "do you?"
jay glares at you, but his ears are red. "i hate you."
you grin. "you love me."
jay rolls his eyes.
but then, under the table, he gives your hand a squeeze.
and you know—
even if he’ll never admit it out loud—
he really does.
you constantly look back and don’t know when you started believing him.
maybe it was the first time he held your hand without thinking, his fingers curling around yours so naturally, like he didn’t need to pretend anymore.
or maybe it was when he let you steal his hoodie, even though you were sure he’d never let anyone do that before.
or maybe—just maybe—it was when you saw the way he looked at you.
because it’s different now.
jay park, the guy who used to flirt with anyone just for fun, the guy who never stuck around, only looks at you.
"okay, but seriously," jake says, pointing a fry at jay. "how the hell did this happen?"
you’re sitting in the corner booth of a diner near campus, squeezed between jay and the wall. heeseung and jake are across from you, both staring like you’re some kind of unsolvable mystery.
jay takes a slow sip of his drink. "what do you mean?"
"you!" heeseung gestures wildly. "relationship jay. committed jay. ‘not flirting with every breathing human’ jay."
"it’s called growth," jay deadpans.
"it’s called ‘i fell first, and i fell hard,’" jake teases, smirking.
jay huffs. "whatever, man."
but he doesn’t deny it.
heeseung leans forward, grinning. "okay, but who confessed first?"
jay opens his mouth—
"me, obviously," you interrupt.
jay’s head snaps toward you. "what?"
you shrug. "you’re a coward. took you forever to admit you liked me."
jake laughs. "ohhh, he got you there."
jay glares at you, but you just smile, nudging his foot under the table.
you laugh, “joking, it’s complicated.”
heeseung rests his chin in his palm. "man, i never thought i’d see the day."
"what day?" you ask, amused.
"the day jay park became a simp."
jay groans, burying his face in his hands. "i hate all of you."
you pat his arm. "no, you don’t."
he exhales, tilting his head to look at you. his eyes soften.
"yeah," he murmurs. "i don’t."
later that night, after jay walks you back to your dorm, you linger outside the door.
he doesn’t leave right away.
instead, he leans against the wall, hands in his pockets, just looking at you.
you tilt your head. "what?"
jay hesitates, then exhales sharply.
"it’s weird," he mutters. "this whole time, i thought i had everything figured out. i thought i knew what i wanted. but then you came along, and suddenly, nothing made sense anymore."
your chest tightens.
"i didn’t get it at first," jay continues, eyes flickering to the ground. "why i got so annoyed when you ignored me. why i kept looking for you in every room. why i couldn’t flirt with anyone else without feeling like it was wrong."
he finally meets your gaze.
"but now i do."
your fingers tighten around the door handle, heartbeat loud in your ears.
"i don’t want to be the guy i was before," he murmurs. "not with you."
you swallow. "jay—"
"i know i’m not good at this," he cuts in. "i know i’m gonna mess up. i know i don’t deserve you."
his voice drops lower, almost hesitant. almost afraid.
"but i want to try. and i want you to let me."
for a moment, neither of you speak.
then, finally—
you sigh, shaking your head. "god, you’re such an idiot."
jay blinks. "huh?"
you step forward, grabbing the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down until your foreheads touch.
"you’ve had me this whole time," you murmur.
jay’s breath stutters.
then, slowly—hesitantly—his arms wrap around you, holding you against him, warm and real.
"yeah?" he whispers.
you nod. "yeah."
jay exhales a shaky laugh, squeezing you tighter.
"thank god," he mutters. "i don’t think i could’ve handled losing you."
you smile against his shoulder.
neither could you.
549 notes · View notes
lustlovehart · 1 month ago
Note
Might've sent this already but I saw it in my notes while looking for something, so just ignore if you've already seen it.
Can you imagine the reader getting sick while they're with the monsters? I can imagine Riddle and Cater being utterly helpless trying to get to Trey, Ace or Deuce as soon as they realize it. Oh after getting us the proper care I can imagine Riddle inch his spectral hand close to our forehead to cool even a bit of our fever. I don't know how zombies work that much but I'm all for pathetic boys so I can imagine their limbs coming off while trying to carry us inside if they couldn't find Trey immediately.
Out of Octavinelle boys the only one who'd have much knowledge about humans would be Azul and if he is out to get whatever plants/medicine necessary in his limited human form, tweels would be a disaster let's be honest they don't see sick things in the sea cuz those creatures usually die so quickly from the harsh environment so they are out of their element, their cold skin might help with fever but too much would make it even worse. I can see Floyd trying to squeeze us to make it better but after seeing it made us nauseous he just stops. Jade is trying to remember his land facts with a serious face all the while.
Sickness Kills, Sickness no more
Another adorable idea!! I really don’t know what else to add on it as I could really see what you said about how they react!!! (≧◡≦) ♡. If it’s a simple cold, i’m sure you could just tough it out and they would never notice. Buut, if it’s genuinely something detrimental to your health, they begin to notice and panic. I thought this was cute and wrote something up! I really wanted to write Chenya in this post, but after those few Chenya asks in the past, current;t struggling on what to make him😭 Will it be kitsune or nekomata, a struggle indeed 😞
CW: (Heavy) Obsession, Jealousy, Rook is being a weirdo, Reader Has a high fever, They want to turn you into a monster too, They change your clothes for you, Implied/Wanting Murder and Actual murder (Fellow, Neige and Skully)
Featuring: Heartslaybul, Savanaclaw (Jack mentioned), Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Idia, Diasmonia, Rollo, Fellow, Skully, Neige
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Heartslaybul might be the best location to fall ill actually! As all of them are formerly human, unlike the others. But… that just aids them in their guilt so it might have backfired for them. Riddles' experience as a Doctor has him feeling the most responsible for your well-being. How utterly careless… he let you get sick. What would his mother think of him? What will you think of him?
Ace and Deuce are practically rushing around to grab whatever Riddle orders for your health. When they find themself not fetching stuff and standing by your side, Ace is cursing you to stay alive, even without magic, he’ll find a way. Deuce is placing his forehead on yours, hoping his cool (dead) skin will calm down that fever. When your warmth reminds him of his failures, all he can do is sit by your side and hope you’ll say anything to him.
Trey stands next to you, being the one who moniters your body temperature when Riddle is incapable of taking human form. He’ll be silent attempting to calm everyone down, but he can’t be very useful in that regard when the bolts in his neck trickle electricity every now and then (he has shocked everyone else from stress) or even when his limbs fall out of place fromte pressure, though not nearly enough as Deuce’s; they continue to detach and crawl over to you, their own mind having them pat your head or hold your hand.
Cater… Is very scarce in this case. As you heave in your hot and cold body, you think he doesn’t care very much, which you don’t mind, everyone else is much too worried. Little do you know Cater was given the special mission of collecting life force if you end up falling to this disease. He’s determined to do just that. They’ll have everything prepared for your new afterlife. When he comes back, you can only quirk a brow at the smile he has on his false face.
It was only a backup plan… But your laugh, the way the sun hits you reminds them you’re just a frail human. Perhaps… It’d be better if you’d never have to suffer in that mortal body. Stay forever in the shadows of this hospital.
Savanaclaw is only a third qualified, as Ruggie has never been human, and Leona was cared for by other people whenever he was ill. Their biggest problem when you fall sick is they don’t really have the proper knowledge nor materials to deal with it, unlike Heartslaybul who consists of all humans, and quite literally reside in a hospital.
When your heaves grow heavier and heavier with each passing moment, Leona rests you on his tomb (if you were conscious you would’ve freaked out at him, but luckily, you’re not), taking whatever water they can salvage from Savanaclaw, they try their best to cool your fever down. The pale wraps Leona already has on your body increase in quantity, acting as makeshift blankets while he brushes your fevered face.
Meanwhile Ruggie is the one who makes mad dashes around people houses, stealing whatever possible fix there is for illnesses. When Leona is busy cooling you down within whatever his power gives, Ruggie takes his place by your side tending to your every need, albeit with confusion.
If even for a moment you cough a little too hard, or even breath too rough, their backup plan in case all fails comes closer. Though, this backup plan would be their first, if it wasn’t for a certain—hunter… Telling them you’d hate them for all time. But even then, what’s affection if a little hate isn’t there? In truth, they wouldn't mind if you despised them, as long as you’re safe.
Then again, the act of them taking the vitality of innocents for your survival, would no doubt put guilt in your heart.
When you get better, all they can think about when they look at you is how they won’t be there when you really need assistance… What better way than to leave you in this tomb with a mummy?? After all, those bandages are the only sliver of protection you have from being killed so easily… Perhaps they should ask him, how to make you stay for eternity.
Octavinelle is the exact opposite of Heartslaybul it’s actually kinda funny. (Not to them, oh goodness how do they help fevers?!?). You being sick is one of the few times Jade’s so serious, the lack of double-sided compliments scaring you more than your fever. While Floyd is desperately squeezing the cold from his body into your skin, Jade comes from behind and holds your face in his hands, cooling it down from the oceans temperature. Neither attempt works, but they don’t stop.
Azul is urgently collecting every form of marine medicinal herb there is in the sea, even going true form and grabbing ingredients the size of ships. He’ll even do the wretched ‘running’ on land if it means getting you what you need. Magic can only take him so far, those human books he read didn’t need to tell him, he already knows as much.
When Azul comes back he hurriedly tells them to lay you down for treatment, having the two diligently perform every task he asks them. Jade isn’t cracking back-handed jokes and Floyd is entirely focused and still, only time to time fidgeting as he waits. If you weren’t so dazed you’d question if they were really the sea monsters you know.
The sounds of splashing water, the feeling of hands, tentacles, and tails all simultaneously work on ridding that fever. Somehow, it lulls you to sleep.
Your body remains floating in the water as all of them have you wrapped up in their limbs. When you come to, you realize they must’ve stolen someone’s clothes as a new pair are on you, as your new wardrobe is no longer soaked in sea water. You didn’t notice at first, but as soon as you woke up, their eyes were staring deep into your skin, almost like they’re searing the memory of you well and breathing into their memory.
The longer they look at you, the more they think about you. The dangers on land are so horrible… They never get such scenarios like that in sea… that means you must stay where such illnesses can’t reach you.
When you get sick in Scarabia, Kalim will beg you to make a wish, telling you he can make you better if you just ask. It’s one of the few times you genuinely want to make one, but your voice is much too hoarse for it to come through. You open your mouth and any words are too quiet to be commanded, with each syllable replaced with a cough. While Kalim is fretting over your well-being, Jamil is staring from the side, forked tongue hissing everyone once in a while.
This Jamil is capable of being a proper servant towards other monsters, as he knows their makeup… but with you, it’s a bit of a harder case. You don’t eat humans (he thinks), neither do you have tough skin, or enhanced ability, you are a mortal through and through.
Surprisingly, it’s Kalim who pushes through and knows what to do, albeit only slightly. He’ll tell Jamil you need water, and… and…! He can name some of the materials, but sometimes he trails off. It’s been so long since…
Jamil pinches Kalims ear to recenter his attention before slithering over with the needed supplies. He’s dabbing your face with water, taking a cloth and repeatedly dunking it into the liquid. When he takes the rag to dip back into the pitcher, he halts when you weakly grab at his wrist. It’s a weak sight, a vulnerable one, yet it makes his heart race because of how… weak you look. He watches you take his hand and place it on your forehead, eyes fluttering shut as soon as that cold touch hits you.
Right… Cold blooded…
Kalim wraps you in a makeshift blanket to keep your body warm, yet not too warm, while Jamil continues to switch between both hands to keep you cool, his tail wrapped around you. The touch of your skin on his reminds him just how warm you are.
When you finally get over your ailment, Kalim has you wrapped around himself, hugging you tightly as if you’d disappear. While Jamil isn’t nearly as affectionate, every time you walk around the desert the underlying feeling of eyes following you, persists every second… A silent statement of the danger you face all alone, telling you to stay and never harm yourself again.
Pomefiore with another human, except while not as medically skilled as Riddle, much better than everyone else due to his upbringing. Though, this knowledge gets outshone by Vil and Rook, who somehow, do know how illnesses work.
“Rook, do not caress them so… Just feed them the necessary remedies.” Vil sits by your side, ridding your body of the heavy clothes you adorn, until you’re left in much thinner cloth. All while he glares at the way Rook serandes your sweating face. Even in your current state, you can’t help but judge Rooks poor timing of poetry.
“Ah, amour… Even in such a vulnerable condition... I can’t help but believe your glisten is just as beautiful as yesterdays...” you feel his wispy hand stroke your cheek, wiping away your sweat, whispering something under his breath. If you had the energy, your would’ve walked away, but alas, you don’t. You look back at the ceiling, focusing on a single crack in the flawless interior, hoping the beating in your head would leave.
A particularly hard ache in your head as you lift your hands to hit the pain out, but you’re hands are stopped by Vil and Rook taking hold of each of your limbs. Rook whispers a ‘non non’ while Vil continues dabbing cool water on your skin, reprimanding you for such a harmful action.
All this action has you wondering where Epel could be… Come to daytime, the only interval where all of them are essentially harmless unless in the shadows, Epel finally shows himself when they’re both gone. His face isn’t too visible, as the shadows inside the mansion block out all light. You open your mouth to say something, but it’s quickly covered by an apple, teeth grazing the skin. For a moment you hesitate, but your hunters has you crunch into the fruit. You watch him bring the apple to his eyes, examining the marks before smiling.
“They were so worried about the fever, they forgot about food.” he brings the apple to his own lips, fangs piercing the same place you bit, your bites unionized. You’re none the wiser to Vil and Rook in the shadows, realizing, you don’t deserve an illness like this… It’s simple, just like Epel realized, the fragility of human and deciding to rid himself of that… they shall show you the same ephiany.
Ignihydes Underworld isn’t exactly the type you can wander around in… Which is why when Idia sees you resting your fevered head on his shoulder, he panics at the sight flickering in and out of your body. No… You shouldn’t be dying yet—!
And then he comes to the realization, if you died, without any ties to reality, you and him… Would never be alone again. He’s eerily silent as you cough, eyes darting back and forth at the suggestions in his mind. When you lean into him, he stays quiet, draping part of his cloak around your body, both of you trapped in the warmth of the fabric. If you died peacefully, you wouldn't become a ghost and join Heartslaybul… You wouldn't have to worry about the fear of a brutal death and suffering through life, is this not a mercy for you?
He hugs you tighter the more you cough, an ongoing war in his mind. You would never see those guys again… He wouldn’t have to worry about them, or you preferring their company over his—
“Idia…” your voice is horarse as shivers peak through your speech, “Please…”
Are you asking to die? Are you asking for him to be the one who guides your soul? Are you… wanting to be with him? He’s already preparing a scythe in hand, but when you flip your head up to look him in the eyes, he stops all motion.
“I don’t want to…” … You don’t have to finish for him to know. He knows when a person is desperate to live, and you’re one of them. No matter how much envy consumes him when you’re with those fiends, he won’t take your life, not until you truly wish to pass on.
But, that doesn’t mean the vermin around you are spared from his dark occupation. If anything, Idia will see to it they’re sent to the next life sooner than intended.
Diasmonia is an interesting case… They all do care for your current state, and your health of course, yet there’s a lack of urgency somehow… They cater to your sickness yet do it as if they’re only fawning over you rather than saving your life.
Malleus will take a humanoid form, holding your hands as he hums a tune, retelling tales you’ve told him. Occasionally, he will place his palm on your forehead, humming when he sees it’s just as it was when he last checked. There’s no point in asking what he’s doing, he’ll only smile with a tilt of his head before returning to stone, an ominous ‘Don’t fear, you’ll feel better soon enough.’ If you let him walk out, the cycle will repeat a few hours later, furthering your worries. If you grab onto eroding stone, though, he’ll turn back and hear your whispers, not real words but vespers of some. He’ll take his other rough-edged palm, pulling your hands to his lips. For a moment, you see regret in his eyes, but it doesn’t seem to last long when he says ‘it’ll be over soon.’
Lilia feeds you his food, one that’s… particularly not consumable for humans or monsters, yet he beams as if you’ll accept it. You somehow escape from the quick end you would’ve met had you eaten it, Lilia telling you it’s better to get accustomed to their food if you’re going to stay with them… You remind him you’ll be leaving soon enough, and he laughs… you don’t know why.
Sebek… Is very confusing in his behaviors. One moment he’s asking you ways to slightly ease the pain if he spots you wincing, next he’s flinching like he suddenly remembered something and telling you to stay sick for the monster's well-being. It’s conflicting, especially in your current state, everything only seems dizzying. When you wake up from your rest, you don’t feel any better, but there’s a single flower laid on your chest. It’s not much, but the sweet scent helps you forget your headache for a little.
Silver is the only one who remotely seems worried about your human form withering away. When the others are gone he’s next to you actually performing duties to rid your fever, quickly hiding the materials whenever he senses their arrival. He’ll shush you when everything becomes too much, whispering for you to sleep; he’ll rid you of any bad dreams you could encounter, you’ll only dream of your desires. So please, sleep. You never expected such behavior from the other three at all… Until it dawns on you when they overhear their words.
“Yes, the others only seem to ponder the idea, never act on it.” You hold back a cough while you lean against the wall, listening intently to whatever Malleus tells the other. “I wish to care for them until they’re much too weak to walk anymore.” He doesn’t mean… “And then we’ll do what all of them are much to meek to do.” You feel your body crumple under your weight, built arms scooping you up.
Silver… There’s a sorrowed look in his eyes as he looks at you, mouthing a quiet ‘sorry’ under his breath.
“… When they’re not human, they’ll never wish to leave this castle again.”
In the following days they continue to act like it’s your last day in the living, like your fate is predetermined. Malleus and Lilia lavish you in affection, while Sebek instructs you on ways of the dark as if you’re marrying to his family, albeit with a very distancing tone.
Every time they appear and go, you cling to Silver like your last life line, your grip is weak yet the look in your eyes acts like a command to him, insisting he better you.
And fortunately for you, you’re cured. Unfortunately for them, you’re cured.
Sages Quarter
- Rollo goes about the fever like any other one you’ve had, simply because everytime you have had one, it’s him who diligently sits by your side and aids you. (nevermind Jack… And Neige… He’s your main, he thinks, he hopes.) He’ll calmly talk you through the fever as he dabs your forehead, changes your wear, and feeds you in bed. It’s nothing he's never done before. But that’s only if the fever is normal; if it’s the high type, his demeanor take a shift and he looks much deadlier than he did before, his eye bags only increasing in depth.
“Do not move, you will strain yourself.” He watches you open your mouth, the glint in your eyes the kind you make when you’re about to throw a joke at him. Your pretty voice doesn't come out to his disappointment, only a whisper. The occurrence has him panicking, chastising you for silently laughing at your failed retort. “Is it really that funny that you can’t even talk?” he watches you mouth words, placing his hand on your lips, halting anymore movement.
You must be delirious from the fever, as you don’t protest but rather, smile at him. His chest tightens but he’s not sure from what emotion.
For a moment, your eyes go blank, and he’s swift to remove his palm, leaning into you with urgency. It was only for a moment, anyone else would’ve missed it, but not him; he remembers your eyes. He sighs when he sees the light reappear, taking his spot at your side once more.
“Do you take enjoyment in watching me worry?” you don’t have to do much for him to know you’re laughing at him, the look in your pupils tells him all he needs to know. Your hand hesitantly reaches for his cheek, brushing the back of your hand against pale skin. He takes possession of your palm, inhaling before letting the limb go again.
“M… Maybe… I do…” he can tell the effort it took to say just those few words. He watches you close your eyes before taking his handkerchief from his pocket, neatly folding the fabric on your chest.
“You… Truly—I can’t leave you like this…” … A wonderful thought. Maybe he just shouldn’t leave you, ever.
- Skully is quite literally screaming in panic, what exactly is he meant to do?!?! He basically webs you an entire luxury bedroom in your ail, gently coaxing you to lay down on the swindles of web. He smiles at your acceptance, ready to care for you with diligence! But then he remembers, that the entirety of this forest is dead. Any sign of life is quickly caught by him for consumption, any water has disappeared from streams, and plants have been desecrated for so long.
… How is he supposed to help you?!?
He can’t just wait for a wandering traveler to appear! That takes weeks or even months, he can’t wait that long! And even then, he can’t resort to feeding you the human…! It’s barbaric! For you at least... He does it all the time, but that’s because he’s a monster!! He doesn’t do it in front of you… you already seem so disappointed in him when you spy anyone just caught in his webs, the thought of you only looking at him with more fear in those eyes is unbearable—!
“Skully…—” he jumps at the feeling of you leaning on his shoulder, sweat glistening. He panics at the sight, picking you up with four of his arms while the other two set up your bed again.
“Please stay right here dear! I’ll find a way for you—” You pull his head down, close to your face, staring into all his eyes. You huff a single breath into his ear, the word ‘town’ the only audible thing. He knows himself, he stands out way too much to blend into society, so he really shouldn’t… But he can’t stop himself when he lifts you off the bed, a torn blanket he stole wrapped around him like a cloak.
He really shouldn’t… But for you he would break all manner of rules. Even, if he must be ungentlemanly, and leave a trail of webs and red in his wake, he’ll do it all, for you.
- Fellow turns his haunted head, his false joints bending to walk towards you. Thing strings begin to surround you like snakes, not touching, only moving around you.
“Fellow…? What are you…?”
“Shhhh, I thought sick people like you need sleep? My, don’t worry, you’ll be perfectly safe in my care!” the strings quickly push you towards him, Fellow’s false body and intricately designed clothes sound from the force you bump into him. Your head slowly turns up to look at the puppet, his face only a mere inches away from you. If he was a human, there’s no doubt he would be infected by now.
With each step he takes your hand weakly grabs his neck, the fox-themed marionette humming as the strings behind him follow close behind. You open your mouth to question what exactly he’s doing, but only a cough comes out. For a split second, Fellow looks down at you with pain, remembrance of something, something you don’t know. He’s back to the cunning showman persona just a moment later. With the opening of his fake mouth, words come from him.
“As I said, my valued hunter, I will make sure your visit to my stage…” your eyes flutter shut from exhaustion, your last feeling being hard lips placing a chaste kiss on your temple. “You will never feel fear in your life again, dear puppeteer, for the rest of this stage is yours.”
A puppeteer… One that controls the doll on stage… Is that really the case here?
You wake up to the instant feeling of rejuvenation. Just what happened?
The sight of Fellow cleaning his strings bloodied with crimson, tells you It might be better to not know just how you’ve been cured.
- Neige lets you rest your head on his chest as his ivory wings envelop you in a warm embrace, telling you you’ll get better soon, he promises.
It’s not like you can deny his oath, not without a voice. Even then, if you did have one, you don’t think you would’ve anyway, it would be too cruel to tell Neige you don’t trust him to fix you. He’ll lay pristine white covers over you as he flies out the window, a sense of urgency in the angel that he never feels very often unless it’s about the dear human he’s meant for.
When he gets back, he’ll tend to you with tenderness and a gentle touch. Each dab of a towel is soft yet effective, and every spoon of remedy kind as it goes down. He’s certain it’ll work, especially with each blessing he gives you, it must, it has to.
But it doesn’t. You still lay in bed coughing, your speech disappearing with each passing moment. It doesn’t do good for his heart, and he’s not even a human yet it hurts, it hurts seeing you frail like this. But, then his breathing hitches when he realizes a certain feeling swelling inside him.
Wrath. He’s angry that the world won’t let him help you, even more so that the earth feels to do this to you in the first place. He puts on a smile for you as he sits at your bedside, but the way he clenches his fist tells you there’s something else.
“Neige…—”
“It’s okay! I’m going to fulfill my promise, okay?” his eyes sparkle with determination, and all you can do is nod.
The next time he flies over, word of an all-healing elixir reaches his ears, and so, he finds the seller, giving them the kindest of greetings in disguise. He offers up the price everyone spoke of, telling the vendor about your condition. He's hopeful this will work when he gives it—!
“No.” … What? Any other words the seller had to go out one ear and the other, only the way they looked at him seared into his brain. The next moment is a blur for Neige, only the repeated word of ‘Greed’ repeating in his mind.
… When you get better, he folds his wings far away from you, hopeful that you won’t see the black scattered amongst the ivory. Even then, he will commit all manner of sin, even fall from grace, to make sure you stay so heavenly.
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A/n: If MH!Reader got a high fever when Crowley is around, you can bet money they’re coughing into a napkin and shoving it in his face to get him sick. If their illness ends up being something really bad, plague? Even better (for them, not everyone else cuz now you have the worst illness ever??? For Crowley too cuz wtf why’d you try giving him the plague?!?)
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bluetimeombre · 1 year ago
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: ̗̀➛ Call it what you want to
You're an up-coming star, staring in some hit movies like Hunger games Ballad of songbirds and snakes and now Wonka, along the Timothee Chalamet.
[i'm obsessed with my man and just need to ignore the fact he's dating someone that isn't me. anyway, you're an up-coming actress who stared in the new hunger games movie and now you're also staring in wonka, the people love you and maybe, so does a co-star of yours] not proof read. this was very fun to write so maybe i'll do more, if anyone likes it. or just for me
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liked by... tayrussell, joshandresrivera, tomblyth, sadiesink_, tchalamet & others
yourusername: wonka press tour starts now!
809k likes. 304k comments
user: wait, you're in wonka?!
user: I LOVE YOU!!
user: mother giving us content, as always
tchalamet: now you've posted can you come up and help me
yourusername: no
tchalamet: pls!!!
user: omg she really said no to timothee chalamet, who does she thin she is?
user: slayyyy
user: isn't wonka supposed to suck
tomblyth: from one press tour to another, i see
yourusername: girls got to earn a living
tomblyth: she doesn't let the grass grow
user: say hi to timothee for me!!!!
user: omg how is she getting all the hottest guys in hollywood rn? gurl leave some for us
wonkamovie: 😍😍
balladofsongbirdsandsnakes: 😍😍😍
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you were flicking through comments by your friends when your phone started to ring, the familiar picture of your co-star flicking up on your phone. quickly, you dimissed yourself from your assistant and took the call. 'yes?'
'I need your help.'
'Timothee, you're old enough to zip up your own jacket,' you tease, leaning on the wall.
'I don't know what jumper to wear, what are you wearing? we'll coordinate.'
you'd opted for something of your own style. a jumper with pinks and blues and a white flowering skirt with a ring almost on every finger. this was only your second big press tour and sitting next to timothee chalamet every day for it was enough to make you nervous. so nervous you woke every morning wondering if you'd throw up. it didn't help you were also surrounded by others you'd looked up to, like olivia coleman and hugh grant. how were you supposed to keep your cool for months. even if now you were considered just as big a star.
'don't you have a stylist for this?' you ask, looking at the crew around, ready to go but waiting for him.
'there's three options and i don't know which one to go for. can't you just come up.'
you could, sure. go to timothee's hotel room and see him probably shirtless. once you'd have dreamt of it, but things were different, now you just didn't have a silly celebrity crush. now he was your co-star and very off limits.
'option two now come on, please.' quickly, you end the call and pick up your coffee, heading to the room where you'd be sat for the next eight hours answering questions with timothee.
you were there first, shaking hands with the interviewer and introducing yourself to her. you took your seat, making little chatter before timothee chalamet walked in, calm, cool and collected. completely different to your flushed and smiling expression.
you watched as he quickly said hello to everyone in the room and greeted the lady who'd be conducting the interview.
timothee turned to you, arms out wide and waiting. laughing, you put your coffee down and stood up, giving him a hug. you shared small pleasantries before he took his seat next to you, shuffling around and settling in. only then did you realise how much your jumpers looked the same, both smudges of similar colours. you blushed more as timothee watched, silently wondering what could make you so red. as if he had no idea what he did to you just by sitting down next to him.
'I have had scrub scrub stuck in my head since seeing the movie,' she- charline, said as you and timothee laugh. 'do you guys have a favourite song you got to perform?'
'I mean, pure imagination was quite a surreal experience. you know, getting to sing something that was so ... iconic, it was-it was a lot of fun. and a lot of pressure, but, in a good way,' said timothee.
'you killed it,' you assure, casually.
'thank you,' he smiled.
'i really enjoyed you've never had chocolate like this number. that was just so fun, the dancing and all,' you say, timothee nodding and agreeing.
'for a moment was fun to, i guess,' added timothee. 'we got to dance.'
you grin at the memory. 'we did.' you remembered the a million takes, timothee singing practically to you while prancing around. it was your favourite scene to shoot because it was such an easy and happy scene. you didn't have to think about it, just held timmy's hand as he twirled you around the place.
'and i know we're here to talk about wonka but i just have to say-' she gestured to you, 'congratulations on hunger games, biggest movie in the world.'
you wave her off, thanking her as timmy claps for you. 'thank you, thank you.'
'i was wondering what was your favourite song to film there on that set and how does it compare to singing on this one.'
ranting about yourself or your achievements was always hard for you. your stardom and come so quickly with hunger games and wonka, so much so you felt like you didn't deserve half of it.
'i mean, for hunger games it was all live. i sang them there and then so that's daunting in itself, um. i loved filming pure as the driven snow, just because i got to- essentially- sing it to tom. it was just him and me and the crew, like for those shots there was no extra's so that was great fun. a special moment. and singing it to him made it a whole lot easier. whereas on this movie, luckily it was all like pre-recorded so, not so daunting. didn't have to sing in front of timothee chalamet,' you say.
he listened carefully to you, seeing your smile at mentioning tom blyth, your co-star from the hunger games. he'd never met the guy, he was probably lovely- from the amount you talked about him. 'you've got a great singing voice.'
'thanks man.'
'this cast is just so insane and obviously you two got close during filming,' says charline, gesturing to the two of you.
timothee nudged you with his head, like he'd done a thousand times before knowing how much you secretly loved it. just like a horse, as had been quoted.
'who's more british, olivia or hugh?'
'hugh, easily,' you say. you loved all of hugh's movies, but you'd never say that to his face.
'you know, i'm gonna go and say you,' says timothee, turning to you.
you drop you jaw, pointing to yourself. yes, you were british, but more so than than the hugh grant seemed impossible. 'me?'
'yea, i mean, hugh grant is like a walking union jack- and i mean that in the best way possible, but you seem so much more like british. you know, wicked sense of humor and the charm and- you love london,' he pointed out.
'i do love london,' you agreed.
'did you have fun filming in england, timothee?' she asked.
they want on and on to talk about filming the movie, answering questions in depth and it was sure the two of you had great answers, listening intently together and everyone could tell. your chemistry was there, your smiles and answers together were almost so perfect it was like it was practiced and the fans ate it up!
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liked by... zendaya, mtv, kyliejenner, yourusername, wbpictures & others
tchamalmet: WONKA!!! coming soon
tagged: yourusername
1.1m likes, 609k comments
user: he posted! he posted!
user: we are getting FED
user: i just know this is all yourusername influence
user: not kylie liking...
user: statistics! statistics!
liked by yourusername
yourusername: bring back little timmy tim!
yourusername: out of all the pictures you chose that one
user: anyone else think her and timmy are getting too close
user: like fr she stealin my man
user: i love them!!!
user: i swear something is going on with her and tom blyth
user: she's just like us!
user: LOVE!!!!!
user: her and timmy >>> him and kylie
user: plssss, i love kylie
user: is wonka a musical
user: TIMMY I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN!!!
user: fave bob dylan song?
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liked by... tomblyth, rachelzeglar, tchalamet, hunterschafer, zendaya & others
yourusername: ballad of song birds and snakes is number one movie? more like i'm the number one most grateful person out there for this chance and being trusted with my girl lucy-grey!!! thank you, thank you, thank you!!
tagged: tomblyth
1m likes 477k comments
tomblyth: lots of love my dear !
user: pls the second picture was so unncesary she just wanted to post it
user: MOTHER
user: parents are parenting
user: I LOVED THIS FILM
user: tom blyth is honestly so hot like wtf
rachelzeglar: my luv &lt;3
yourusername: omg my gf everybody!!!!
joshandresrivera: funny how you don't post a picture of me
yourusername: it's funny because i don't like you
joshandresrivera: tomblyth you gonna let her talk to me like that??
tomblyth: she's the boss
user: how is she so amazing in everything
user: wonder how she got this job? she's literally as plain as a plank
user: hi!
user: the film was insane, i'm obsessed
user: i need this film injected into my veins
user: she's so good at singing, get her on broadway!!!
tchalamet: very proud
yourusername liked tchalamet's comment
user: why would you post the second pic unless they're clearly dating
_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
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user: pls why do i ship them so hard!!
user: lol it looks like he's just refusing to answer questions without her
user: is nobody gonna talk about how they were basically wearing the same jumpers?
user: no because i thought the exact same thing
user: someone pointed it out in an interview and timothee said it was 100% planned, they're so cute
user: doesn't he have a girlfriend?
user: isn't she with tom blyth? they look like they're together?
user: they haven't confirmed it
user: they don't need to did you see her post on instagram?! it was all just him
user: no but the way she's just constantly blushing around him
user: so would you if you were sat next to the timothee chalamet
3K notes · View notes
cripplecharacters · 10 months ago
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Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?
[large text: Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?]
(TLDR: No.)
A frequent topic that shows up around facial differences is the self-hatred, self-disgust, self-insert-negative-emotion that we must surely experience. I want to ask* writers without FDs - why? Why do you feel about us in such a way that that's the most common way of depicting us?
*- rhetorical question. I promise I know the answer, but I'm not sure if writers do.
It's frankly worrying to me. Is it really that common to assume that disabled people have this internal, never-ending hatred for themselves? The overwhelming majority of us don't. We hate inaccessibility, when people stare, or some symptoms when they get in the way, or how expensive being disabled is, but I find the concept of us being so completely disturbed by our own disabilities extremely strange. It’s “tragedy porn” intersecting “most basic ableism”.
“But trauma!”
[large text: “But trauma!”]
Trauma of what! People with facial differences don't have some sort of default trauma that we come with like it’s a factory setting. We are a group of people with tens of thousands of stories and experiences.
“Trauma of experiencing ableism/disfiguremisia” - that's better, at least this means something. If you're writing a story about this, please get a sensitivity reader with a facial difference. You can assume how we feel all you want, but in my experience these assumptions are often bizarre and unrealistic. Or just end up writing the same “disability so sad” sob story that everyone has seen a billion times. If you want to write about disfiguremisia, you need to understand the nuance and have more than just the basic level knowledge (which 99% of people don’t have either). If you can’t do that, don’t write about it. Simple as that.
“Trauma of the accident” - thankfully, the accident is an event and a facial difference is a disability. If you want to connect these two like they're one and the same, you're almost surely going to demonize disability. People with traumatic spinal cord injuries, acquired amputees, people with TBI, people with acquired facial differences - we participate in our communities, we have hobbies, we date, we play with our dogs. Disability isn't a death sentence. Media who make it feel like it is certainly don't help people who do suddenly become disabled, don't you think?
Here's a post by @blindbeta about blind characters becoming blind through trauma that’s better made than anything I could hope to write here. I heavily recommend giving it a read.
And, I can't stress this enough - most of us didn't have “the accident”, most of us are born like this. "Traumatic scars" isn't the only facial difference that exists, far from it, it's only one of thousands. It's 99% of our representation and "representation". If you want to make a character with FD - please consider that we aren't a monolith. Just like not all physical disabilities are "wheelchair user with paralysis and somehow no other symptoms", not all facial differences are "traumatic scar with somehow no nerve damage".
The overrepresentation of it is incredibly telling, and sometimes - or very frequently - feels like the writer doesn’t actually even want to deal with us. They want to use our disability as a way to cheap drama, moral metaphors, tragic backstories. Not to represent us as living people who are much more similar to you than you apparently think.
Now, I do have enough awareness to know that that's a big part of the appeal. “Horrific Thing #2456 happens” and boom, instant drama. Of course, it's a reasonable response that they would hide their disability for years, avoid talking about it in any way, and magically change their personality to be mean and reclusive, or at least be constantly soooo sad about how much it sucks to be disabled, right?
Do I really need to say that having your character becoming disabled be the worst thing ever is ableism 101? We have been talking about this for so long at this point. Writing about the process of adapting to a specific disability is better left to people who have actual experience in it.
To give an example that will hopefully resonate more with Tumblr users, I will use the fact that I'm also gay. It's not perfect by any means but probably much more familiar territory.
Imagine, let's say, a character. He's gay. The story he's in is supposedly progressive, certainly not trying to be homophobic. The character has experienced an incident, maybe an act of aggression or a hate crime, that happened because he’s gay, which was traumatic. Happens IRL, sure. So of course the character starts hating being gay. He talks about how gross and disgusting it is, he never lets anyone know that he could be “one of them”, certainly not take a stance against homophobia. You can't mention him without mentioning the accident, they're seemingly fused together. No gay love, joy, even basic happiness, he would actually choose to be straight in a heartbeat if given the option to and complains that he can't. This is shown as a neutral, obvious thing that a gay man would do, no one comments on it. He stays like this the whole time, unless there’s a plot twist in the last 10 pages where the world is now magically perfect ("we fixed discrimination, yay!"). This is the only LGBT character in the story.
Keep in mind that there are people similar to this in real life, living with extreme internalized homophobia.
Reading comprehension quiz time: Is this, in your opinion, realistic and thoughtful representation? How does it feel when written by a cishet writer, versus a gay writer who is recalling his experiences? Do you think that it's reasonable for the majority of media representation to be like this, or very close to it? How would it affect younger gay people who might already be uncomfortable with being queer? Are gay men the target audience, or are they not even considered as a group of people who read books? Is this helping or damaging the general public's idea of how it is to be gay? Why or why not?
The Masterpiece
[large text: The Masterpiece]
From 13 to 19 of May, we are celebrating Face Equality week (what a coincidence!). It’s important to me in general - and I wish it was more important to abled people, but I digress - especially its theme for this year.
“My Face is a Masterpiece”
Great statement, it represents the community well, I do enjoy how bold it is. Very cool stuff, I love the work our advocates are doing.
But why do I bring this up?
Well, to very non-subtly show that we aren’t a self-hating group of people. We are a community, a community saying “our faces are beautiful, look!”, we are saying “treat us equally, and do it now!”. Our activism isn’t about self-disgust. It’s about fighting your-disgust. 
Why can’t writers keep up? Why are you still stuck decades behind?
Is this the only reason I bring it up?
The Call to Celebration
[large text: The Call to Celebration]
FEI, the org behind organizing it, asks a very simple question (emphasis mine):
“Why do we so often see stories about facial difference as a ‘tragedy’, when they should be about triumph?” “Calling all artists, allies, creatives, galleries.  You can rewrite the story to bring about #FaceEquality and celebrate the unique artistry found in every face. Your participation this #FaceEqualityWeek will help to tell the real story, that there is a masterpiece in every face.”
Here. We are calling for you to stop. Directly from the biggest international advocacy alliance group that's out there. If you create, this is for you.
The last argument to not have your character with a facial difference hate themselves? Because we don’t want this. We are tired and frustrated. For me personally, I’m also offended by this kind of assumption. We aren’t tragedies or cheap entertainment for abled people to pity or be horrified by. We are people, and if you can’t internalize that, you have no reason to write about us.
For once, celebrate us. Happy Face Equality Week!
mod Sasza
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ggidolsmuts · 3 months ago
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Single's Inferno - ARTMS Choerry
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"Hey man, you ready to get the pants scared off you?"
"Sure sure, where are the others?"
"There they are!" You join your group of friends—it was right before Halloween, and they wanted to get the full experience and go through a haunted house attraction. Begrudgingly you agreed—you're not the fondest of jump scares.
"Yah, where's your date?" One of them asks.
"Date?"
"Yeah, it's a good opportunity to get to know someone, having a joint experience."
"How would I get to know someone in the dark when we're going to be screaming?"
"Look at Mr. Scaredy Cat here, I see why you didn't want to bring someone now," your buddy teases.
"Yeah fuck you, be glad I showed up. Let's just go in." Your group gathers at the entrance of the house, and a usher calls out.
"Okay guys how we doing tonight? For the best experience for everyone, you should be paired up with a friend, so pair off as needed and we'll let you in two-by-two, okay?" To your horror, your friends have basically paired off already—they came with their girlfriends, or brought their own dates. You would be going into the haunted house alone!
You would be going into the haunted house alone... Fuck, rather than being scared you're more sad than anything.
"Hey guys—" Before you know it your friends are already in line, every pair already locking arms. Some friends, hmph. You steel yourself and join the line, trudging along solo. You're on your phone when you hear a bright voice next to you.
"Hi! Are you going in alone?"
"Yes." From her tone you assumed it was an overly enthusiastic employee, but no.
"Can I pair up with you then?" You turn to look at your speaker—she's dressed simply in a fluffy sweater and jeans, but her smile is absolutely radiant, her eyes round and hopeful.
"Y-You want to go in with me?" You wouldn't say no of course, but she's way out of your league, and you had to double check.
"Mmhmm, is that okay?" You nod and she slides in right next to you—more than that, she slips her arm between yours. "Thanks, I'm Choerry!"
"Nice to meet you Choerry, you came to this alone?"
"No, but my unnies are all with their boyfriends, so they kinda just left me alone." She pouts cutely.
"Really? Same here, my friends ditched me for their dates too." You shake your head and Choerry laughs.
"That's great, let's ditch them then!"
"Sure!" Her enthusiasm is infectious. But as you get closer to the entrance, Choerry's hugging you tighter and tighter.
"To be honest, I don't like scary things, I might be loud, sorry."
"Why come then? You don't have to do this."
"No the unnies will make fun of me!"
"If you say so. To be honest, I don't like scary things either, hate jump scares."
"I can tell."
"What? How?" You're a little indignant, how did Choerry already chalk you down as a scaredy cat?
"You've been holding on to me since we got closer." You blink and look down—you've had a hand on Choerry's arm this whole time, and now you're not sure if she's been hugging you tighter, or if you've been pulling her closer to you.
"Oh, damn, sorry!" You hastily let go, but she stays close. If anything, she's even closer now.
"It's okay, good to know we're both scared."
"Enjoy!" You shake your head at the happy staff as the two of you walk through a curtain of dangling chains, loudly drowning out the shouts and screams ahead. It's dark and there's manmade fog everywhere, but you see an eerie green exit light across the room.
"I think we go this way."
"Oh, okay." The two of you walk forward into the fog side-by-side.
"Ahh!" The door behind you slams shut with a loud bang and Choerry is shouting already. "Sorry, sorry!"
"It's fine, I'm here," you reassure, hoping you sound braver than you are. You walk forward with her, dodging the hanging pig corpses—you were in a slaughterhouse.
"RAAAHH!" A huge man makes his presence known, wearing a bloody apron and carrying a cleaver. His boots squelch wetly, as if walking in pools of blood. "GET OVER HERE!" Choerry screams, clinging on to you tighter and burying your head against you.
"Oh shit!" You shout, quickly dragging her through, away from the menacing butcher. "Fucking hell!" You curse loudly. You blink as your eyes adjust to the new room, and your crinkle your nose at the new smell—chlorine and chemical cleaner. A brief spark runs through you as you assess the situation—Choerry pressed tightly against your arm, and the only way to describe that sensation is soft. But you shake that thought from your head as you gently rock her shoulder.
"Hey, he's gone, we're in the next room."
"Huh? Really? Thanks for getting me through."
"We don't have to do this if you're too scared, I can exit with you?"
"N-No! I'm not scared! Well, I won't be, if you'll guide me through the rest!" A spark runs through Choerry as she grabs your arm—firm, comforting, reliable, hot. But she's jarred out of it as someone starts shouting.
"Help me, help me!" In the far corner someone is chained to a chair, various needles seeming to stick out of them, connected to pipes. You're in a mad scientist's lab! A voice booms in the room.
"Ah, new test subjects, are you? Excellent, excellent. Nurses, get them!" On each side you see nurses step out from the shadows, pushing a gurney towards you two, complete with straps hanging off the sides.
"We should keep moving!" Choerry pulls on your arm, and the two of you hurriedly dash through a maze of dividers to walk around and curtains to pull open. The two of you never knew what horrors awaited behind each—you cursed at a single "person", their hands and feet on all the wrong limbs; Choerry screamed at an oozing "corpse". Somehow you manage to drag each other through the demented maze and into the next room.
The room is dim and jaundiced yellow, and you see white sacs hanging from the ceiling—cocoons?
"Oh no no no no no..." Choerry's hiding behind you, and she's shaking. "I can't, I can't do spiders!" You look again and indeed see a large spider perched on its web in the corner, numerous eyes glittering back at you menacingly.
"Stay behind me, I can stay in front." You intended to leave an arm behind for Choerry to grab, but instead she wraps her arms around you, hugging you from behind.
"Please, thank you!" She's warm on your back, and your hand finds its way over hers, and she gratefully grabs it. With her hugging you tightly you waddle your way through the cocoon obstacle course. The large spider hisses and screams at you.
"Oh fuck!" "Ahh!" Choerry screams and you shout when a large spider leg bursts out from a nearby cocoon, swinging away wildly, and the two of you hurry forward. You reach the exit with her, and as you take a deep breath to calm yourself your own nerves are shattered as Choerry screams again!
"Help, help!" Choerry slumps against you, and you whirl around to find her covered in what looks like web, but you take a closer look and realize what it was.
"It's not real, it's just silly string!" you reassure her, and you have to hold her still as you get rid of the string all over her hair.
"Really? I thought the spider was going to trap me or something..."
"I won't let that happen, okay? Hold still." Choerry's heart thumps as you pick out the last pieces of silly string—maybe it's beating quickly from the scare, but she felt attracted to you, taken care of, protected. She felt you trembling against her when she was hugging you, but yet you powered on even if you were scared. The other part of her also felt your midriff as she hugged you—not ripped or shredded, but solid and strong, reliable. A new spark runs down her spine as you touch her hair, trying to remove an annoying piece of string.
"There, all gone." You brush the last piece of string from her hair, and you find yourself stunned momentarily when looking right at Choerry. She is exceptionally pretty, cheeks lightly flushed from the frightening experience. Your fingertips tingle as you brush her hair aside, feeling the light sweat on her hair. Your hand moves down, wanting to cup her face, but you realize what you're doing and clear your throat to shake that thought.
"W-We should move on," Choerry says, voice a little hoarse, husky even.
"Right."
"Wait!" As you make to move forward Choerry grabs your t-shirt. "Sorry, my legs are weak." She was scared silly from the "attack", and you realize what you had to do.
"I'll carry you, we're almost at the end I think."
"Are you sure?"
"You can't be that heavy," you try to joke as you kneel down for her to get on your back. She gets on you gingerly, and her hair tickles your neck as you get on.
"Thank you," Choerry whispers in your ear, and you pray she doesn't notice your tremble as you grab her legs and get up. Meanwhile Choerry's hoping you don't notice her rapidly beating heart—you've literally swept her off her feet, and she's thinking back to her conversation with her unnies.
-----
"Haseul unnie, how did you meet your boyfriend?"
"Oppa? It was during COVID, I had to quarantine, we were stuck together, and then things just happened?"
"What just happened? Like did he ask you out?"
"Pabo, we couldn't go out, we were in quarantine!" Haseul blushes and continues. "We just kinda, ended up doing everything during that time together, and we found things compatible."
"Compatible? You mean— Wait, by everything you mean—" Choerry blushes, she can't believe her unnie would do something like that!
"Yeah, we did everything together! I just let things happen... Naturally." Haseul shouts initially, but plunges on, face red in embarrassment.
"But that's so random! It could have been anyone else!"
"We just had chemistry, you know, so I initiated. Like there's no reason, but it felt right, felt good to be together."
"And he didn't even ask you out, you just asked him?"
"What's wrong with that!" Jinsol interjects herself into the conversation. "I also asked oppa first too."
"Really?" Choerry's shocked by her other unnie.
"Yeah, he saw me as his best friend's little sister, but I liked him, so I went up to him and kissed him! I'd say the results are quite good," she adds with a dopey smile on her face.
"You're texting him right now aren't you?" Haseul jokes.
"Mmhmm!" The two of them bicker, leaving Choerry to drift off on his warm back.
-----
"Oh fuck!" Choerry's startled out of her thoughts as she's spun around. "I can't, fuck ghosts, I don't do ghosts." She looks at the way they have to go and sees a long corridor, complete with a few Sadakos, long hair covering their face, dressed in white gowns and hands outstretched—some sort of haunted high school concept.
"Huh? They're zombies!" she tries to make you think of them differently, but it doesn't help.
"Zombies, ghosts, same difference, I don't like them!" you mutter in a rush. Choerry hurriedly comforts you, gently brushing your face.
"Hey, it's okay. Do you trust me?"
"Trust you?"
"Yes, just look down at your feet, okay?" Choerry has a hand over your eyes. "Whatever you do, don't look up, just make sure you don't trip, and listen to me." You take a deep breath and whirl around.
"I'm ready."
"Okay, just walk forward until I tell you to stop." Choerry encourages you as you go. 
"Yes, one step at a time, you're doing good."
"Take one step to the left, do not look up."
"Now like 3 steps to the right. Omo hello!" Choerry is surprised by one of them, but greets them happily.
"Choerry!"
"Sorry, sorry, we can just walk forward." You fill the images in your head from the sounds—the screech of nails on blackboard, the haunting laughs of children, the unyielding ticks of a loud clock. But Choerry's in your ear, noticing your fear and whispering comforting directions.
"We're almost there, just a few more steps." You only notice you're done when you feel Choerry tap your shoulder and tilt your chin towards her.
"We're done, we finished!" You're so thankful you could kiss her, and she's so pretty up close. Choerry notices the closeness too—you're pretty cute when scared and flustered, and kinda cute regardless. She's already moving closer when she catches hold of herself and blinks rapidly. "You can umm, put me down now."
"Huh? Oh, yeah." You let Choerry down, and when you think you can finally relax a booming voice is heard from behind you.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY? YOU BETTER NOT COME BACK, YOU BETTER RUN, RUN AND NEVER COME BACK!" It seems to grow in volume, as if getting closer and getting angrier, and you grab Choerry by the arm and run further away, clearing the fence surrounding the attraction. A generic voice comes through a much smaller speaker.
"We hope you enjoyed your time here, thank you and we hope to see you again!" The absurd contrast of the two messages makes you break out into laughter, and you hear Choerry's piercing laughter right next to you—you had pulled her along to the exit, and when you stopped you caught her momentum, wrapping her up in a hug. The two of you laugh and smile, happy to be done with the ordeal.
"Thanks for getting me through it."
"Thank you for carrying me through it," Choerry answers back, holding your gaze. The arms you have around her stay there, and she doesn't make any attempt to break out either. You feel your own heard pounding, or is that Choerry's? You meet her sparkling eyes, drawn inexorably to them, wanting to see them closer up. 
But the next pair comes barging through, shouting and screaming just like you two were earlier, and the moment is broken.
"Oh! Sorry!" You quickly get out of the way, only to find that Choerry has stepped in the opposite direction.
"So umm, thanks!" You call out lamely.
"Yeah, thanks!" she calls back. Out of habit she checks her phone, and a few messages pop up.
*Choerry are you out yet?*
*It shouldn't take that long, did she just chicken out and leave?*
*Do they not let her in if she's alone? Is she still back at the entrance?*
She turns to look at you still standing there, on your phone too, and quickly fires a white lie to her unnies.
*Yeah, they didn't let me in, so I just went back, don't worry about me I'm already back home!*
With that done she puts her phone away. As she goes to tap your shoulder you're also turning around, slipping your own phone in your pocket.
"Oh, hey, you're still here?"
"Yeah, my unnies, they ditched me."
"Yeah, my friends too, ditched me as well." From the knowing smile you give each other you both know it didn't matter if any of that was true or not. But the two of you hang around, unsure how to breach the real topic at hand, and more couples come running out until Choerry decides to take the initiative.
"Hey, do you mind coming home with me? I'm still a little scared, don't want to take a cab alone."
"O-Oh, sure, of course."
Choerry's hand felt hot as you helped her into the cab.
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"Safely home," you add pointlessly as Choerry unlocks the door.
"Yes, thank you. Please, come in." Daringly she pulls you through the door, and as she holds you close her initiative is rewarded—you're looking at her intensely, her eyes seeming to shimmer again with the sparks that are flying between the two of you. Choerry's heart is racing as you get even closer, and as you lean in head tilted, her own eyes flutter shut, letting the moment take over.
You're kissing Choerry, and her lips are every wonderful adjective you can come up with—soft, rosy, plump, sweet, juicy. You capture her bottom lip, gently sucking on it and finding her absolutely delicious. A little gasp escapes her, and you're cupping her cheek, pulling her back to capture her lips again. You wrap an arm around her, pulling her closer, hand playing with the hem of her sweater. A small hand on your chest stops you in your tracks.
"Sorry, I don't do this normally, or at all." Choerry can't meet your eyes, looking down at the floor.
"Right, I understand, sorry I thought— Yeah." You don't know what else to say, did you misunderstand the situation? Your hands fall away from her, abashed at your rashness. But immediately Choerry's pulling on your t-shirt and leaning into you, and you're feeling her lips on yours again. This time she is more passionate, throwing her arms around your neck, pressing herself fully into you, a hand running through your hair. When she pulls back both of you are breathless, and the spark in her eyes has become a fire.
"But it feels good, feels right, so..." Choerry takes your hands and has them rest on her hips. You press your forehead to Choerry's, watching her mouth hang slightly open when you move your hands slightly, going over the edge of her jeans and brushing circles on her bare skin. 
"Okay, we go as far as you're comfortable with." Choerry's losing herself in the moment, feeling the hairs on your neck stand—you're just as nervous as she is, and she overcompensates with bravado. She kisses you again before pulling away—she pulls her sweater up and over her head, revealing her toned midriff teasingly before her simple white top drops back in place. Her voice is heavy with desire, the words thick in her throat as she tells you how far she wants to go in the few words she can manage.
"All the way." 
You reply in kind, taking off your t-shirt, and your jeans get a little more strained as you see Choerry lick her lip subconsciously, eager eyes taking you in. You kiss her once again, hands sneaking under her thin top as her hands wander your shoulders and chest. Choerry parts her lips, sighing into the kiss, and you let yourself in, drawing a low moan from her. Your tongues dance and fight, and after a fierce battle both of you catch your breath—you take the chance to assure her of your intentions.
"Right there with you."
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You're right there with Choerry, on top of her in fact, hungrily plunging your tongue into her mouth as she grips your arms. To Choerry her bed seems floaty, like she's barely laying on it—with how you're kissing her, sucking on her lower lip, it's like you're lifting her off the bed just off that alone! The muscles she feels on your arms only serve to turn her on even more, and the arousal is no more apparent than in the stiff nubs you feel as your hand brushes over her chest, making Choerry wish her top was removed already.
There is one thing Choerry wants to see removed more, and she reaches for your jeans, unbuttoning them and watching you kick it off, showing your desire for her.
"Your turn." Her breath catches as you reach for her jeans, right below her bellybutton. "Still with me?"
"Huh?" Choerry finds your questioning gaze, your fingers on her freshly popped jean button.
"You made a sound, like a squeak." Did she? Choerry's too engrossed in feeling you, unable to keep track of everything happening everywhere on her body, all at once.
"Just really sensitive, everything feels so... much."
"We can go slower." Choerry keeps her eyes locked on you, and you're looking right back at her as you slowly unzip her jeans—she has to remind herself to breathe, she's not sure she has ever been so turned on from such a simple act! You peel the tight jeans down her generous thighs and slim calves, revealing the simple black panties she has on.
"Wow." You let out a small laugh at just how lucky you are tonight, but Choerry tries to cover with her hands, long legs twisting, trying to hide from you.
"Don't laugh, I didn't think I'd be—" You shush her with a kiss, pulling her hands away and gently pushing her legs open with yours.
"No, it's a good wow, you're amazing." You push a knee up between her legs, and you grow even harder. "So sexy, so wet for me."
Choerry gasps, unsure which bolt of pleasure is stronger—your knee brushing against the apex of her thighs, or you saying that she's sexy. Soon it doesn't matter anymore as the constant friction between her thighs is becoming a burn, cauterizing and sealing off any idle thoughts. All she can do is focus on how good everything feels—your hot breath on her neck as you plant a mark on her, hands licentiously having their way with her underneath her top, your warmness both between her legs and on her lips as she leaves mindless hickeys all across your neck.
"Wait! No, don't..." You are halted by Choerry's breathless gasps, but it is a false alarm when you look down—her thighs squeeze around the one she's straddling, and she's openly grinding against you. "I-It feels good." Gone is the bright and cheery tone, replaced with something huskier, downright seductive.
"Okay, do what feels good." Choerry's hands are on your shoulders, and you watch her head sink into the pillow, tilted back as she loses herself in the pleasure. Her delicious midriff undulates as she writhes on your thigh, the little noises she makes causing you to stain your own underwear with precum.
"Mmph!" She's grabbing you by the neck, pulling you against her twisting body to use for leverage—she's bucking herself against you, and with your face pressed against her chest you hear her heartbeat spike, her lungs swelling to take in air—
"Nngh!" Any shout or scream Choerry wanted to make is snuffed out by the pleasure, but you feel her cum all the same, your thigh suddenly getting hot and wet as she rides out her orgasm. "Oh yes... Yes, yes, yes..." All she manages is a sigh followed by softer moans, her grip on you slackening as her entire body begins to relax. Your knee is sore from kneeling on the bed, and you slowly pull away, waiting for her to recover. Thankfully you're not left hanging for too long, and as she pushes herself up she looks at your own "wet spot" on your boxers.
"Sorry I took my time didn't I?" You don't even manage to reply as she takes off her thin white camisole before coming towards you. "I made a mess too, you felt so good." She wipes your shiny thigh with her top, cleaning it up and maybe ruining her top in the process. But both of you are too far gone to care as she discards the rag, fingers pulling on your boxers.
"Can I?"
"Y-Yeah, yeah." Choerry pulls your underwear down, letting your cock spring free. "Oh fuck!" you moan as she daringly wraps a hand around you, making a test stroke.
"Does that feel good?"
"Really good, really really good."
"But we can't end it early can we? We're going all the way." Choerry pulls away, propping herself up on her elbows as she looks at you seductively—for someone who's so bright and cheery, she sure knew how to entice you, and like a moth drawn to a flame you're on top of her once more, hands going straight to her panties.
"My turn?"
"Please." Your fingers tremble a little, but you get ahold of yourself and roll them down her hips, revealing her wetness, still swollen and pink from her orgasm earlier. Much like the rest of Choerry right now it looks delicious, and you're tempted to dive in, but she pushes you off with her feet, kicking her underwear off.
"All the way," she reiterates—Choerry wanted to go all the way, and she wanted to go all the way now.
"Stop me if I'm going too fast," you murmur, positioning yourself between her spread legs.
"No, I trust you." You start with just the proverbial tip, wedging yourself in her. "Wow, it's so big." Choerry blurts out, half-praise, half-concern. She's not wrong either—you feel just how tight she is right from the get go, see the way it must look to her, watching herself be split open. Yet she wants all of it, pushing herself down the bed, just enough to take another half inch of you.
"I want it all the way in me." Choerry holds you close, the pressure between her legs seeming to grow without end as you give her what she wants. Your groans are music to her ears, knowing that it's overwhelming for you too—just like the haunted house earlier, you're experiencing this together. A few seconds later you're pressed on her, and Choerry can feel you throbbing, in time with your heartbeat.
"All the way in... Fuck," you mutter—much like Choerry, you can feel all of her, how, despite her nerves, she's hungry for you, her body trying to draw you in, walls pulling at your shaft. You stay still, both of you breathing deeply, taking it all in.
Then she squirms. Much like she did on your thigh earlier, and it is your sign to move. You draw back, feeling Choerry shudder as you pull out, a balance of delicious friction and wistful emptiness. You push in, and this time her pussy yields easier, the slickness coating your cock making things smoother but just as delightful. 
Now one more time, but faster.
"Ah!" 
Choerry's yelp triggers something in both of you—she can't control herself, so you didn't need to either. This time you no longer stay composed, no longer measured in your movements; No, you're hugging Choerry and *doing what feels good*. With your face buried in her neck, you don't see much, but much like earlier, you don't need to—Choerry's whispering all the directions you need right into your ear.
"Harder, yes harder!"
"Faster, please go faster..."
"Right— Nngh right there, right there!"
Along with a few not-so-useful descriptions.
"You're so deep in me, no one's ever been this deep!"
"Y-You're stretching me, oh my god, please don't stop!"
"I'm so close, please, please!"
"Fuck I'm going to cum so hard..."
Your reply to Choerry makes her pop right away.
"Do what feels good."
"Oh oh oh I'm cumming, I'm cumming! Feels so— Mmm!" Choerry sucks on your neck hard as she combusts, wrapping her legs tightly around you. When she's done you're close yourself, and you need to do something to mix it up.
"You trust me right?"
"Mmhmm?" You sit up and get Choerry to sit in your lap. She thought you wanted her to ride you, but as soon as you're in her again you have her ass in your hands, and she's clinging on to your neck while you stand up.
"Oh god..." With gravity's help you're even deeper in her, and a jolt of pleasure goes through her when you make an experimental thrust.
"See, you're not heavy."
Choerry wants to say that that's not the point, that what is important to her is that you're fucking running your cock through her, kissing the very end of her warmth and making her toes curl.
"Mmph, hnngh... Ah, ah ah ah— mmm!" Yet that's all that comes out when you start thrusting, and Choerry dips her head, succumbing to the sensation of truly going "all the way" with you, your tip nudging against her cervix with every thrust. She's putty in your arms, hanging off you, powerless to do much more than cum, and she cums hard.
"Mmm, ah!" Choerry yelps and braces herself against you, unable to stem the tide of pleasure rushing through her. It starts as a warm wave of slick over your shaft, but as you keep thrusting into her it becomes a splatter against your crotch and your thighs. When she digs her nails against your neck you take that as your sign to stop, and like an awning after a storm Choerry's dripping all over the place, and her husky harsh heaves are loud in the room, the last howls of the storm that just ripped through her. 
"Feels good to trust you."
"I'm glad, but I'm close."
"Good, I was wondering when I could make you feel good. Put me down." You let Choerry down, and she drops to her knees, grabbing your slick shaft and stroking you. You feel too good to notice the slight tremble in Choerry's hand—you had just given her the strongest orgasm she's had in a while, and yet she finds herself wanting more.
But she definitely wanted to repay your efforts first.
"Look at me." Choerry directs, and you listen. She's still incredibly pretty, but the large round eyes that twinkled as she laughed and screamed and whooped with you at the haunted house are now tinted with a shade of lust. Choerry looks innocent, but only innocent enough for you to stain. You're pointed right at her face, but you're quickly pointed to the back of her throat as she takes you in, distorting her beauty even more.
"C-Choerry..." you moan, meaning to tell her how good she feels or some such, but those thoughts fly out the windows when she starts ruining herself on you, tongue doing things that you never imagined she would do—around and under your shaft, swirling right over your tip. Your legs quiver and shake as it all becomes too much, and Choerry grabs your hips, pulling you deeper into her.
"Fuck!" The first two shots go right down her throat, and then you're out of her mouth. You're powerless in front of Choerry—eyes closed and hand stroking you furiously, all you can do is stand there and let her do it. You can't take your eyes off her, unable to hold back the surge of pleasure and cum that begins to cover her face. You let out a low moan of relish as she extends your orgasm, rubbing your tip and getting more makeup-ruining seed all over her as a reward. When she stops you're staggered and she's completely glazed, a particularly heavy blob sliding off her cheek.
"Oh shit... Uh hold on." You scramble to find her tissues, but given that you're in her apartment, she beats you to it with a soft laugh, beginning to wipe her face clean. The pretty and sweet Choerry reappears as she removes your load.
"There, all better."
"You umm— There's still a little bit." Choerry makes to wipe the little bit still on her lip, but she thinks better of it, smirking and making a show of licking it off, reminding you of what she can be just a moment ago.
"Mm, salty."
"Wow, you were amazing," you blurt out lamely—what else do you say when you've busted down their throat and covered them in cum?
"I'm glad you liked it, it was great for me too." She makes a show of cleaning up between her legs, slowly bringing the tissues up her creamy thighs and removing the slick shine off them. Cleanup is supposed to be awkward but necessary, yet Choerry makes it hot, showing you just how good you made her feel earlier. "I'll be right back."
As Choerry takes the soaked tissues to the restroom, her thoughts are a bit of a mess, much like the rest of her. She doesn't remember the last time she came that hard or that wetly, and as she flushes the tissues down she briefly brushes between her legs, gasping at her own findings—Choerry's still sticky, a gooey mess. She finally understands Haseul's drunken confessions.
-----
"How do you know oppa's the best you ever had? You haven't even been sleeping around! Or have you?" Choerry asks incredulously, not believing her unnie's declarations.
"Yah, of course I haven't!" Haseul looks around, and motions Choerry to get closer. "You know how when you do it alone, you're happy with one round?" Choerry blushes but nods, she knows what Haseul means exactly—the satiating satisfaction of getting herself off once is usually enough. "Well when I do it with oppa, I just... Want more. Want to be closer to him, want to, you know, receive more 'love' from him." Haseul replaces the crude 4-letter word in her head with something nicer. "But don't guys only do it once, how can you get him to do it again?"
"Choreo."
"Choreo?"
"Mmhmm, our choreo has sexy parts right? The ones where the fans scream because it's just a little too sexy but fine since it's only for a line or two? Just do something in those positions."
"I just bend over, it's mm... Easy to get him to do it again..." Jinsol mumbles, half-asleep already. Before Choerry could ask them more they both headslam the table, falling asleep in their drunkness.
-----
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It is with those thoughts in mind that Choerry returns to the bedroom.
"You should umm, stay the night, it's late."
"Are you sure? I don't want to impose or anything."
"No, I wouldn't mind at all."
Choerry watches you put on your boxers and t-shirt, debating with herself how forward she wanted to be and what choreo she should use.
"Which side should I take?"
"Hmm? Whichever you want," she answers distractedly. It is a little later, when you have an arm around her, that she settles on Flower Rhythm.
Just as you are drifting into sleep, you feel the weight on your arm lessen. You take a peek and immediately start waking up—Choerry's holding a hairtie in her mouth, bunching up her hair behind before tying it off. Even that simple act is hot, and it gets even hotter when she bends over, getting on all fours right next to you. You're wide awake now, but Choerry only notices it when she pulls down your boxers and finds a half-stiff cock in front of her.
"Oh, you're up?"
"Only halfway," you manage to joke. "I felt you move, and then I saw you tie your hair and then now... Yeah, I'm awake."
"Let's get you all the way awake then." She takes you in her mouth again, but this time, more than her skills with her tongue it is the sight of Choerry bent over and wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and boy shorts that gets you harder than steel and eager to pump some of that iron into her.
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"I'm wide awake, just stay there." Choerry reacts viscerally to your rasp—she felt just how hard you were in her mouth, and now you're going behind her to... She gets lower on the bed and curves her back a little more, pushing her butt a little higher—god she wants this so bad! All she can think about is you looming over her, grabbing her hips and—
"Ah!" Her shorts are yanked down unceremoniously, bunching at her knees—Choerry's forgotten that she's still wearing clothes, and in a flurry she pulls her t-shirt off and kicks her shorts away. She blushes a little at how eager and direct she's being, but she's grateful that you don't say anything; Or rather, she's grateful that you're already grabbing her by the hips, and that delicious pressure is growing between her legs immediately.
"Fuck yes..." you hiss, enjoying sinking yourself into Choerry for a second time tonight. Despite having stretched her deep and spread her walls once, she's just as tight as before, and you have to firmly push into her, drawing a loud moan.
"Ohhh yes! Ah..." Choerry's labored breaths give you pause, and you stop moving, letting her get used to you again, but she turns back to face you, beckoning you to lean over her. "Don't worry about me, you feel so good. Do what feels good for you." She emphasizes this by leaning forward and pushing back, making sure you feel her butt pressed against your hips. It's utterly unholy the way she's flush against you, urging you to hilt yourself deep in her.
Choerry braces as you grab her hips and pull back, but nothing prepares her for the sharp spike in pleasure when you snap your hips forward, and her arms give way immediately. She's wrinkling the bedsheet, biting it with her teeth and grabbing it with her hands as you pump into her. She's moaning into the bed, her muffled whimpers joining the solid smack of flesh on flesh ringing in her head. Each thrust leaves her gasping for more, and her body reacts with a mind of its own, pushing her cunt back against your rod, just to get you back in her faster, harder, deeper!
"Fuck Choerry... holy shit!" She feels like velvet and silk, trying to tug you deeper into her each time. The rest of her toned body is just as enticing—the way her shoulders flex when she pushes herself back at you, and you follow the slim line of her body to— Oh how her thighs ripple when you slam into her from behind! It's one thing to bounce her in the air on top of you, it's another to take her from behind, bouncing your hips off her ass, and you wanted more.
"Hnngh!" Choerry's moans grow louder in volume when she feels a hand on her lower back, forcing her to arch her back even more. You're taking charge now, and the new angle causes you to rub right against her g-spot, the pleasure tugging Choerry's eyes back, rolling them into her head. Her legs flex, trying to push her ass higher, to give you an even steeper angle to fuck her at. But no, you grab her hips and hold her down, seeming to fix her at the perfect height to pump down and forward into her.
Over and over you slam down on Choerry, striking at her g-spot repeatedly, numbing the rest of her body and replacing all of it with pleasure. At some point she begins to cum, her toes curling, teeth biting into the bedsheets to stop herself from screaming. A tidal wave of joy slams into her... And then another one, and then one more—there's no end in sight!
Now Choerry understands why Haseul does that move in Flower Rhythm so well, she must get fucked in this position so often, because it feels fucking amazing. Choerry doesn't even have to do anything, just lie there and take it and cum. And cum she does too, ecstasy consuming her thoughts as you fuck her silly. At some point she's no longer biting the sheets, and she's yelping and wailing, trying to swallow her screams and failing spectacularly. 
"Feels so good Choerry, I'm close!" She keeps getting tighter and wetter, you're not sure how long you can last.
"I-I'm cumming!" It doesn't even come out right, Choerry wanted to say "I've been cumming!" But she's been trapped in her orgasms the whole damn time, cumming her brains out and barely coherent, a mess between her legs and her ears. Yet you still fuck her, pounding her until her whole body feels like jello. You treat her words as approval to finish, and the bedsprings creak loudly, the bed rattling faster and faster as you chase your own peak.
A small groan escapes her when you pull out, and the slick that should be coating your cock comes out as a small squirt against your thighs. Both of you moan loudly when you cum, the hot jizz all over her back just as satisfying for Choerry as it is for you. You fire large spurts all over her, covering her pale skin with your thick load.
"Damn! Shit!" You're left speechless as your legs go weak, forcing you to sit on the bed. Choerry similarly slumps forward, sighing as she lands on the bed with a thump. "Are you okay?" Both of you are silent for a while, gasping deeply to catch your breath and process the fuck that just happened.
"Yeah, feels so good..." She tries to reach behind herself, and you quickly wipe the cum off for her. Choerry turns herself around immediately, pulling you into a passionate, almost desperate kiss. She's sucking on your lower lip, tugging with her teeth, trying to draw you in deeper. You reply in kind, tongue pushing past her lips, wanting to suck all the oxygen out of her, to leave her breathless once more. You're stirring for a third round, but you recognize the lack of sparkle in Choerry's eyes—not dimmed by lust, but dulled by fatigue. It's time to call it a night.
"We should rest."
"Huh? Sure... my clothes, where?" From the sleepiness and pleasure rendering her brain earlier Choerry makes just enough sense, and you grab her clothes, helping her slip them on before she bundles under the covers. You manage to find your own boxers and put them on before joining her in bed. As you sidle next to her under the covers she shifts herself closer to you, resting her head on your shoulder.
"Good night," You murmur, and a smile is all she manages before her eyelids droop, and she's off to dreamland, a hand on your chest feeling your heartbeat. You just hope it doesn't wake her up.
That amazing smile.
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You fall asleep eventually. When you wake up, you unfortunately don't see Choerry snuggling next to you, but you do hear the clink of cutlery on dishes outside.
"Good morning!" Choerry calls out cheerily as you step out of the bedroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes and blink—you blink very quickly. Choerry's dressed simply in a white singlet and powder blue shorts, there's a bit of red on her neck from where you left your mark last night, but she looks otherwise flawless.
"Something to eat?"
"Sure, whatever you're having there I guess."
She quickly gets you a bowl of granola and yogurt. There is a quiet awkwardness to the whole thing, and you wonder if you should have put on all of your clothes before coming out rather than just your t-shirt. Choerry's eating silently next to you, both of you thinking about the same thing.
What do I even say?
"So umm, I have to go to work later." Choerry states quietly.
"Right, let me get out of your way, let you prepare—"
"No! I mean, there's no rush. Please, finish your food. Oh..." She notices a bit of yogurt on your lip.
"What is it?"
"You have a little—" She points to her own lip, but you miss it, because for a second she looks so pretty you can't tell left from right. "No, let me get it" She leans in—
She's kissing you again. Choerry's smudging the yogurt, tugging on your upper lip, cleaning it for you. She often joked about how her unnies were always finding chances to steal away and be with their boyfriends, but she understands their actions a little better now, now she's just like them. The attraction is magnetic, and as soon as she's close enough she wants to kiss you, touch you, feel you against her body— Fuck she's wet again. Choerry's shorts land in a pile on the floor and she swings her legs across your lap, straddling you. 
"One more time. Want to feel good again." Choerry murmurs. Now the passionate and desperate kiss from last night returns in full force. You drop your cutlery with a clang, and she's light enough that you can squirrel your boxers down just the right amount.
"Ch-Choerry!" Your tip is engulfed in her wetness almost immediately, and she's whining into your gasp, both reactions to just how needy and ready she is for you.
"Let me ride you!" She's asking, but not really, as Choerry's already starting to rock her hips back and forth on top of you. More and more of you slips into her, and her husky moans get louder and louder. You're buried in her neck, and Choerry let's her top slip down, an invitation for you to play with her chest. 
"Mmm!" She whines when you kiss along her bust line, hands on your head urging you to do more. You make her slow down, steadying her so that you can take a nipple between your lips, gently sucking and licking it. "Yes, just like that..." The frantic riding settles into a slower but no less intense grind, as if you playing with her tits has made her tighten around you, and she's savoring every inch of your cock she's taking even more. You play with both of her breasts, and her moans get quieter and faster, her lungs struggling to keep up with the sinuous and sinful exercise she's putting herself through.
"Mmm, I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" Choerry flings her arms around your neck and crushes you against her. She buries her face in your hair to muffle her cry, the vibrations rattling you to your core. You help her along her orgasm, pulling her waist towards you each time she clenches around you, adding wave after wave of pleasure and extending her peak. When she finally recovers your connection is sticky, and Choerry is a bit of a wreck—top pulled down, hair mussed, a pale skin flushed with pleasure.
"J-Just one more..." she mumbles, beginning to ride you again. Choerry's not really "pent up", but her body's asking the question her heart hasn't put into words yet—"Where were you all this time?!" Now she's more surprised that the unnies spend so much time with the group—if she had a boyfriend like you she would be spending as much time as possible with you and not the group! She throws her head back and lets out a low moan, hilting herself and cumming again all over your cock.
"Fuck Choerry, I'm close, you need to get off!" You're throbbing hard inside her. If last night was Choerry losing it because of your fucking, today morning is Choerry taking charge, fucking you, and making you lose it—you're going to cum even harder than last night. She's sweating, her entire body just as hot and wet as her walls are wrapped around you. At your warning she seems to ride you even harder, her moans long and low.
"Choerry!"
"Do you trust me?"
"What?"
"Just do what feels good, trust me." Choerry's holding your face in her hands, begging you to say yes.
"Yes, I— Oh fuck! Trust you!" You can't form a coherent sentence either.
"Just tell me when, tell me when you feel good, last one!" Your hands settle on her waist, trying to steady her, but Choerry's movements only get more intense, borderline violent—her knees dig into your hips and she's bouncing herself in your lap, your thighs taking a beating against the chair. 
"Want you to cum, please, please..." She's determined to drag you off the cliff with her, struggling to maintain eye contact with you as her chin dips down, her body bracing and holding off her own orgasm best she can. The way she calls out to you, moans for you, her walls clenching around you with raw need, it all becomes too much.
"Fuck, now!" you groan, and Choerry has a split second to decide if she should get off you or sink even deeper in your lap, but the only thought her in mind is—
Do what feels good.
"Fuck yes, oh yes, ohhh yes yes yes! Oh my god!" Her words and your moans ring loudly in the apartment. Choerry spreads her legs and lowers her hips, and your arm around her waist pulls her in on instinct, both of you making sure that she takes every last inch and every last drop of cum into her. The burst of warmth in her womb and surge of bliss rips through her body, tearing a scream from her as she loses control. Choerry tries to close her legs, as if it's too much to experience, but all it does is trap you in place, keeping you there as you continue pumping her full of thick seed.
"Ahh, it's so hot, so much..." And it quickly becomes too much, the flow of cum into Choerry seeming to reverse—a sinful mix of you and her leak out the sides, coating your shaft as the two of you tremble and shudder, tangled together in the heat of explosive intimacy. When Choerry manages to gather herself again she sees you still recovering, head tilted back and looking like a man totally drained. Only now does she wonder about her decision—was it reckless, was it safe, was it what she wanted? Yes, yes, and yes. But there is one question Choerry doesn't know the answer to—What would you think? Would you think less of her? She told you she doesn't normally do this, yet she just let you—
"Worried?" you ask, knocking her out of her reverie.
"Yes, I mean no, not about that, I'm umm, safe." How does she even ask a question like that? How does she even begin to phrase it?
Meanwhile you have your own worries. You wanted this to be more than a one-off, but Choerry is so far out of reach. From the waist up, blushing slightly as she fixes her top and hair, Choerry looked like a virtual angel. Yet she's in your lap, panties pulled to the side, with what's left of your morning wood leaking out of her freshly fucked pink pussy. What do you even say to someone like her, the perfect girlfriend and perfectly ruinable lover, to appeal to her? You settle for reassuring her for now.
"I'm with you all the way, whatever happens." Choerry opens her mouth to dispute, to tell you that's not what she's worried about, but as you brush her hair tenderly, she realizes you've answered everything she couldn't put into words. When she leans in, asking for a kiss with a pout, you realize you've said everything you needed to say, and you give her a kiss happily.
The magic ends when an alarm on her phone sounds.
"I need to leave soon, do you mind getting me some tissues?"
"Oh, yeah of course." You find her the tissues, and she does her best to quickly clean up. "Should I go first? I'll give you your privacy."
"No no, I'll be done quickly, the rest I can do at the salon. Here's your clothes." Choerry disappears into the bedroom as you get dressed in the living room.
"You go to a salon for work?" you ask her as she comes out fully dressed.
"Yeah umm for makeup, I'm an idol."
"Oh, so... we can't meet again can we?" You have a sinking feeling—after the best night of your life, you might be facing the worst day right after.
"No, we just have to be careful, go to less popular spots, or at odd times, stuff like that. I... hope that's okay?" Choerry holds her breath, praying that it isn't a dealbreaker.
"Yeah, no that's great, we can do that." Both of you breathe a sigh of relief internally as you enter the elevator. "I'd love to take you out somewhere quiet, one where we're not jumping out of our shoes every few minutes."
"Yes, no spiders and zombies."
"And ghosts," you remind her.
"Right, they're the same thing." Choerry realizes that the elevator is close to ground floor, that she's close to being in the public eye once again. She takes your phone and puts her number in, shushing your indignant sputtering about zombies and ghosts with a peck on your lips. 
"It's a date then, don't make me wait."
She feels her phone vibrate almost immediately after she leaves you, and she's smiling at your invitation for next weekend as she tumbles into the van with the other members.
"Choerry yah, did you get back okay yesterday? I'm sorry they wouldn't let you in, you could've just stayed home the whole time!"
"Oh no unnie it was fine, I'm glad I went all the way."
A/N: Haunted house fic a month after Halloween lmao. Anyways been wanting to write Choerry for a long while but didn't have the best setup for it until now, so I kinda overcooked it with scenes and pics XD Hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!
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calisources · 1 year ago
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𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂, 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋, 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
All sentences have been taken from different media to be compiled into a list. This is not a meme for minors, the content here goes from mild to highly sexual, topics like dominance, submissive, bondage,praise kink and breeding are all present so discretion is key. Change names, pronouns, locations as you see fit.
You are perfect. And now you wear my mark, your ass is mine.
Tie me up, please…
Kiss me hot,heavy,wet & angry with that attitude like you do when your mouth yells it hates me but your tongue screams it can’t wait for me.
Let me undress your body, caress your skin and wetly massage your mind back into making love to me again.
They wanted her. They all loved her. And they wanted to keep her.
A little vanilla never hurt anybody.
If you have any sense you’ll stay away from him.
Touch me, like this, like a good girl.
That’s it, use your tongue. 
I'd planned to have you on your bed the first time, but maybe I should take you here, by the mirror, so you can see how splendid we are together.
I’m not going to deny that I want to fuck you. I cannot do anything else, But I will say that I have plans for you if you say yes.
I’ll fuck you so good, for so long that the only thing you’ll crave is my hands on your skin, my cock deep in your pussy.
I want a second serving of you. I’m hard just thinking of your perfect breasts and hard nipples.
As much as I appreciate that, right now you’re all I want to eat.
Now will you please sit on my face already?
You are corrupting me, Theo.
But you like being corrupted, don't you, sweet girl?
The destruction of something beautiful can appear so entertaining.
If women were totally satisfied with their sexual and lovemaking experiences, women would welcome the lovemaking experience as much as men.
I want to learn from you. Teach me what you know.
Once I make you mine, you will be mine forever. I will call you and you will come, in more ways than one.
What have I taught you? Show me, sweet girl.
Use your thighs, ride like it’s your last day on this earth.
I been aching to be inside you since we met, you devil woman.
Hands braced against the wall, and open your legs.
You tasted sweet, like oranges, liquid sunshine in my mouth.
I need you. Every pore of my being is begging. This is what we do.
The things I want from you, darlin’, will give you nightmares, ones like you’ve never had before.
If you could read my mind, I’m pretty sure you’d either be traumatized, sexually aroused or both.
The nicer you treat her outside the bedroom, the naughtier it will get inside the bedroom.
Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.
That’s it. You can take a lot more, don’t you? Hold on to me.
If you behave, I’ll let your hands go and touch me.
I love your skinny legs, and what's between them.
 I don't want words, but inarticulate cries.
All you have to do is beg, and I will give you what you want.
I want you splayed out on the table like my own personal feast.
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair. Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
You make the sweetest little noises. But I need you to be louder, let everyone know.
It's like an itch, isn't it? You can feel it in your throat. You want to scream for me.
Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I've been here. Only me. You are mine.
I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin, do they?
And ye whimper under me, and struggle as though you wanted to get away, and I know it's only that you're struggling to come closer, and I'm fighting the same fight.
I can help you with that.
Forgetting him. Moving on. I’m okay with being your rebound. I’ve already said that I want you.
You’ll give yourself to me? Let me take control? Let me send you over the edge of ecstasy time and again until you awaken?
Possess. Have. Hold. Enjoy. Control. Dominate. Pick your verb, Ms. Fairchild. I intend to explore so very many of them.
I feel claimed.
You’re so primed. I can feel that hot little pussy clenching around me every time I move a muscle or say a word.
Yeah, arch your back so I can look at you going nice and tight around my fingers.
Pet, I give you permission to be as vocal as you wish, because I am going to blow your mind in a few minutes and I want to hear how much you enjoy the ride.
If you want me to touch you, all you have to do is ask. It would be my pleasure -  and yours.
Watch me make love to you.
I'd like to bite that lip.
I want you sore, baby.
I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you.
There is no room in my body for anything but you.
Eat me, drink me; thirsty, cankered, just take me as I am.
I live for sex. I celebrate it, and relish the electricity of it, with every fibre of my being.
I’m not wearing anything underneath. Want to see?
You will be staying here until I’ve deemed it safe for you to go back to your life. Do you understand me?
Dominate you? Yes. Master you? yes. Make you yield to what you want, make you surrender to who you truly are? Yes.
Why don’t you scream my name? Let every other man and woman who you belong to.
I don’t want to think, I just want to feel.
I taught you everything you know. Every man after me is just a shadow of what I did to you.
I knew you could be a good girl.
You were fucking made for me.
God is not gonna save you from me, baby.
My mouth wants you, I want to feel you in my mouth, way down in my mouth.
I am moist between the legs.
I came three times. During sex. 
Do you know all the ways a Lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you?
You stay right where daddy puts you, baby girl.
Wait until you taste her. She is fucking delicious.
Lick my fingers and feel how wet you are.
Are there big, bad monsters in the woods who want to eat me up?
Right there, don’t stop. I can feel it. 
Please come in me, I don’t care, I want to feel you.
Where do you want it, baby girl? Your cunt, your mouth or your neck?
Close your eyes and relax. One kiss. I don’t bite.
Seriously? In the morning, again? 
You said to rest but I can feel you hard against my back. 
You can do all the rest sweet, let me take care of you.
I want you to fuck me, Chris.
A little playful banter never hurt — or did it?
One should always explore something, before one goes in deeper.
Come here and undress me.
How am I supposed to do my job when all I can think about is getting back to you?
Someone could walk in on us. 
Better be good and come fast, then. Or everyone will see you begging for more.
I can imagine my hands getting your fucking clothes off right now.
Do not shy away from the sensations I create, Cherry Blossom. Take pride in them, as I do.
Am I doing it good, baby? Just like you taught me? 
Tell me I’m a good girl. Your only girl. 
When I come, I come for you. Because of you and your mouth, hands, and insatiable little cunt.
My tongue, my fingers, my cum inside you. Just you and me, Eva. Intimate and raw.
How many have been with you ever since? Or no one compared? Tell me.
Show me then. I demand that you show me. That’s an order.
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mywritersmind · 5 months ago
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DRUNK THOUGHTS - LN4
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summary : He’s drunk and on a dock, nothing can go wrong. Except maybe him confessing his love to his taken best friend.
listen up : drunk lando! reader has a bf but no cheating involved!! maybe a pt.2 but prob not? i’ve kinda been unmotivated but if u have ideas my requests are open!
word count : 653
⋆。‧˚⋆
I find him on a dock, his arm touching the water and his body laying down to face the stars.
I wobble down the wooden path, taking my heels off and pulling my dress down a bit. I’ve been drinking and dancing all night, yet my experience doesn’t even come close to Lando’s night.
He turns his head when he hears my footsteps, “Wanted to make sure you were still alive.” I look at his body, he’s in baby blue pants and a half undone shirt.
I left my boyfriend who was getting eaten alive by mosquitoes to come check on him, feeling a bit tipsy and more than happy to be alone with him.
“Y/n!” He grins and points at me, yup he’s definitely drank more than me, “Hi!”
I laugh and squat next to him, “Hi Lan. Fun night?”
“Oh definitely!” he giggles, his hand patting the place next to him. I sigh and lay down, looking up at the night sky. “You?”
“Very fun.” He’s looking at me still, I glance to him, a curl fallen into his face and his eyes are all soft and shaded from the lack of light.
It’s almost unfair, how beautiful he is.
“I like your dress!” He smiles, his hand gently running against the hem of it. It’s small and black and his touch makes goosebumps run through me.
“I like your necklace.” I reach over and run my fingers over his logo, “Very nice.”
“Would be nicer on you.” Lando’s always like this. Drunk or not, he’s a flirt.
“Ya think?”
“I know.” He looks back up like it’s nothing, “Would be even nicer if it was the only thing you were wearing.” the words come out so quick and easy that I almost think I hallucinated them. Lando’s flirty, sure, but my boyfriend is almost always around so he doesn’t mess around too much.
Apparently drunk him does.
I practically choke, “Oh?”
His head turns to me again, his eyes roaming my features, “You're so pretty.” He says softly, “Like really reallyyyy gorgeously you.”
“I- thank you?”
“Everyone thinks it. All the guys who stare at you but they don’t get it. Not even your lover boy.” He shakes his head matter of factly, “No no no. I do. I hate those guys.”
“What guys?” I laugh.
“You do not have very good vision.” He smacks his lips together, “Everyone looks.”
I laugh, honestly thinking he’s joking, “They’re always looking at you- the famous one.”
He shakes his head again, adamant I'm wrong, “No no pretty. They don’t give a nothing about me.”
“I think you do pretty well.” I raise a brow, “You were basically followed by a group of girls down here.” I’m not sure where they went but they were fawning over Lando.
He shrugs, “Bachelorette party. It’s basically my job.” I laugh and he looks offended that I did, “I wish you followed me.”
Suddenly his words aren’t funny anymore.
“But your bloody boy…” He makes a disgusted face, I thought he didn’t mind him. “Bleh. You’re better.”
“I didn’t know you disliked him.”
“Why would I like the bloke who’s in love with the girl I'm in love with?” His casual tone strikes again, this time stabbing me through the heart. We’re friends. We’ve always been friends. I thought my own feelings had gone long before this trip- before my boyfriend!
I can’t fancy Lando and he cannot be in love with me.
“You’re so drunk.” I laugh it off but he just stares at me. He doesn’t seem to know that he just said he loves me.
“Drunk words are-”
“Sober thoughts.” I finish for him, His body shifting to lay on his stomach, an arm across my waist. “Yeah I know.”
“You always understand me.” He whispers and it breaks me in two. “Thank you.”
“Let’s get you back, Lan.”
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munsonsmixtapes · 1 month ago
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older! eddie who is intimidated by your younger male friends
cw: hurt/comfort, age gap (reader is 25, Eddie 40)
You and Eddie enter the party and he immediately feels uncomfortable. He doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because he’s the oldest person there or maybe it’s because he just wanted to stay in with you. This is your debut as a couple and you’re so excited to show him off.
He doesn’t know why since he’s much older than you and none of your friends don’t seem to understand why you’re together. He’s just feeling a bit insecure but he’s not going to let that ruin his night. He’s going to have fun with you and that’s what matters.
You loop your arm through his and lead him into the house, introducing him to all of your friends. It isn't until he comes across your male friends that a strange feelings arises inside him. He doesn't know what it is or where it came from, but what he does know is that he feels out of place.
"Guys, this is Eddie," you introduce him, beaming from ear to ear. All he can do is shake the hands of your friends as they introduce themselves, not really feeling chatty like he normally is. He honestly just wants to go home, but he's going to stay for you.
He looks at all of them, sitting on the couch and he's sure that it won't hurt them to stand up like it will for him. He's wondering now why you're with him when any of these other men would be better suited for the role. He's fifteen years older than you for crying out loud.
He's never cared, especially since you're an adult, but now he's starting to feel like his age. He can't compete with these guys. They're all in their late twenties and definitely don't have that chronic lower back pain that he always experiences.
He can't stay, not now. The whole thing feels weird to him now, being here with all of your significantly younger friends and he feels like he really shouldn't be there. So he excuses himself for a smoke.
You follow him because something feels off to you. You have a feeling that he's just going to leave without saying goodbye. Everyone else might not have been able to see how uncomfortable he was, but you can. You saw it the second you walked through the door. And you completely understand why he would feel that way. What you don't understand is why he wasn't honest with you.
You feel awful that you dragged him here and that he agreed because he wants to make you happy, but you wish he would have told you the truth. That's more important to you than some stupid party.
He's leaning against his van smoking a cigarette and you make a beeline for him, silently plucking the thing from his fingers and taking a drag of your own. You stand in front of him, staring at him even though he won't meet your eyes.
"You could have told me," you say, your tone coming out a bit more bitter than you intended.
"I'm sorry. I was excited, I really was. But then we got here and seeing all of your guy friends...I don't know, it made me feel old."
"You're not old, baby," you hand the cigarette back to him. "You're not old at all. I don't want you comparing yourself to them, okay? You're my man and I don't want any of them. I just want you." You press your lips to his then take him by the hands. "Now come show me how not old you are, hm?" You open the back of the van and he follows, fully intending on doing exactly that.
taglist: @the-witty-pen-name @k-yurieee
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pullupinarari · 3 months ago
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Who I am away from the lights [LH]
author’s note: this season was hell, but this is just a little something about the end of an era. I keep crying like a bitch so don't mind me, just wanted to write a little something about today.
‼️ disclaimer: this is a work of FANFICTION, I don't mean, by any way, to try and describe Lewis how he might or might not be in real life. 90% of what you are about to read is a product of my imagination. This isn't an essay, I'm not stating facts, I am just writing what comes to my mind without the intention of causing any harm. All the descriptions that you're about to read were just made up by me!
• masterlist
wc: 4646 - english is not my first language! feedback is always appreciated
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Lately, Lewis’ mind has been working as an album made of memories. Every single movement makes his brain search for a reminder of every thing that he has lived for the past years of his career. 
Feeling more thoughtful now than ever, he finds the need to be alone for a minute, away from all the noise, from all the eyes. 
Lewis knows he isn’t the same person today that he was when he first got to F1. As the years pass by, the man finds himself continuously growing, in a never ending learning experience through life. 
Nowadays, the man often finds himself remembering the bold Lewis from 2007, who got his chance in Formula 1 to prove his worth. The adrenaline rushing through his veins would fuel his brain during every race, almost in a reckless way, making him show everyone how hungry he was for that opportunity. 
Walking around his trophy room, each award triggering a memory - and when his eyes land on his first World Drivers’ Championship trophy, a soft smile plays in his features. Winning his first championship in his second season in F1 really must mean something, no?
Looking back on 2013, the 28 year-old who moved from McLaren to Mercedes only had one purpose: to follow his heart, to be part of something that had the ability to grow and become special.
He knew he had it in him to make a change, to help create something bigger, something historical. And no words can describe the feeling of pride, joy, and even melancholy spreading through his chest when he looks at everything he conquered at Mercedes. Six world championships for his personal account, eight constructor’s championships for the team - alongside an uncountable number of pole positions, podiums, and victories. The move that everyone considered to be crazy, a take so risky into the unknown, became something historical. 
Apart from all the trophies, the numerous champagne celebrations, the glory, there’s something bigger that was built over time: the sense of being surrounded by a newfound family. 
Eleven years ago, Lewis felt like he had found his place, the team he would retire with. And, until recently, it would have never even crossed his mind that he would be getting ready to say goodbye to Mercedes - bidding them farewell, only to meet them on track, while wearing a different color, driving a different car. 
The truth is, as years went by, Lewis grew up and developed who he is while inside this sport. Today, he is not as bold as the 22 year-old Lewis was - he makes sure to make more thoughtful decisions, to try and manage his own feelings in a much wiser way - even if, sometimes, that feels impossible to him.
He needs to remind himself that his decisions don’t just influence his own life anymore. Now, he has you - to be accurate, you have been a part of his life for eight years now. And a love as strong as yours couldn’t fit just inside your hearts, creating the most important piece of your lives: your three year-old daughter Grace, who is now the reason for every single one of Lewis’ decisions. 
Lewis is absolutely devoted to his family, finding his safe haven in your arms, in Grace’s laughs. 22 year-old Lewis would find it hard to deal with all the problems and anger that would burst into his veins after a bad day. The 39 year-old Lewis feels eager to get home after a bad day, so he can smell his daughter’s hair, watching the way she smiles while he hugs her tight - only to end up cuddled in bed with his wife, the one who makes life seem so much easier when he is next to you, surrounded by a comfortable silence, just allowing himself to melt at your caring touch. 
The driver finds in his family the protective bubble to wrap himself in when things get tough. It has always been like this: you are the shoulder he cries on, you are the one who makes him laugh, caring for each other like your lives depend on it. 
To tell the truth, the last few seasons have been rough: on the team, on Lewis, and on your family. 
Ever since that fateful end of the 2021 season in Abu Dhabi, it feels like things just started crumbling down, piece by piece. The next few seasons seemed like nothing was working out, none of the solutions were making sense. 
But still, Lewis - the devoted man, the devoted driver, was dedicated to work alongside the team, firmly believing that Mercedes would be able to overcome the surfacing problems. 
There’s only so much one can take, though. Weekend after weekend, first a terrible qualification, then a bad race, Lewis would have to pretend like everything was fine, forcing himself to lie to journalists, doing his part until the front door of your house closes. 
It’s only in the safety of your arms that your husband lets his cover down, allowing the biggest of sighs to leave his body, letting all of his anger, guilt, doubts out of his frame, watching them hover in the air, almost creating a cloud on the ceiling of your bedroom, that seemed to chase him everywhere he went. 
Every weekend it’s the exact same: Lewis tries his best to put his feelings to the side, focusing on pretending that everything is okay, playing his part in this theater act that he is a part of now, feeling like a puppet in the other's hands. 
Apparently, he is very good at seeming that way, since everyone appears to buy every one of his words. However, the man can’t stop feeling like everything he does is a lie. 
Who is he, when he is away from the lights? He is a caring husband, a dedicated father, and he wishes he could have more time for you and Grace - and no other weight leans as heavily on his shoulders as the guilt of constantly being away from his family, losing so many important moments of his baby growing up.
Lewis keeps fighting a silent battle with himself: whether he should keep racing or retire - dedicating himself more to his family and his other projects, or whether he should take the offer he has on the table or stick with Mercedes. 
He knows your opinion about it - it’s his decision, and whatever he thinks is best for him, you will always be by his side to support him. You can’t deny that you would love for Lewis to finally slow down, to spend more time at home, just so you could stop holding your heart in your hands every time you watch him hopping into a race car. 
But you know he won’t do it just yet. He still has it in himself, and you see it every time you look into his eyes: the fire that keeps glistening inside of him, that passion that drives him to keep going, the wish to fight for an eighth title. You are just patiently waiting for him to understand that, deep down in himself. 
Even if he has been acting like he is fine, he allows his real feelings to show when his head is hidden in the crook of your neck, the vulnerability pouring from his form while you hold him close, hearing the small whimpers leaving his body as he sniffles quietly. His mind has become a whirlwind of thoughts, questions, doubts, insecurities, not knowing what to do anymore - his real state contrasting so heavily with the unbreakable persona that talks to the cameras. 
Tired of feeling like he keeps falling even further behind, your husband uses the silence to do some introspection. Sitting down in his home office, he rubs his hands together soothingly, as his eyes travel across some of his prizes, pictures, memories of his career so far.  
The realization of everything that has been happening from the past few seasons kills him: seeing the team that he helped put on top, not making it; seeing the struggles, the miscommunication, the never-ending problems that don’t stop piling up.
As much as he tries, Lewis feels like it’s not enough: he can’t take the weight of everything that happens on his shoulders, it’s not fair. He shouldn’t be the one trying to come up with answers about all the problems surrounding an entire team when he is just a piece of the puzzle. 
He shouldn’t feel like he is on the edge of a knife every time something goes wrong - as he should definitely not be the only one giving his chest to the bullets, getting little to no support from his own team, nowadays. This is the reason why he believes that, the longer he stays, the further his salvation slips away.
Over the years, he has met the conception of a family in Mercedes. And it hurts to find himself analyzing the possibilities of going to different teams. But sometimes, we need to let go of what’s holding us back, give a step back to be able to move forwards. 
Lewis understands that, there’s moments in life when we have to be selfish and put ourselves first, before anyone else. And that’s what he keeps in mind while making his decision: he can’t continue putting a team first that hasn’t been able to give back to him, lately. 
On the other hand, the man knows that he won’t be driving for much longer. He is nearly 40 now, and still holds an uncountable list of dreams yet to fulfill, outside of F1. He wants to be a more present father, he wants to have more babies with you, he wants to develop more projects with the ideas that keep swirling around his brain at night. 
Your husband wants nothing more than to continue opening the way to people that hold a story similar to his own, he wants to make a difference. But, inside the sport, he still has one childhood dream to complete: driving in Ferrari red. 
Spending most of his time trying to make a decision, deep down, Lewis knows what he has to do. Even if everyone doubts his move, even if everyone wants to give their opinion: this is his decision and no one else's.
After putting Grace to bed, you and Lewis meet amongst your bed sheets, your limbs intertwining as you have the night time just for yourselves. Lying your head on his chest, his fingers play with your hair as he kisses your forehead softly. 
You usually use this moment to talk about your daughter, about your days, and even about the future. But tonight, you can see it in your husband’s eyes, in his body language, that he has something to say. His muscles feel tense, his breathing is deep, his replies to you sound shallow, like his mind is somewhere else. 
- What’s wrong, Lew? Come on, spit it out. - you encourage him, dedicating your entire attention to what he has to say. 
Taking a deep breath, he finally speaks up.
- I have made my decision, love. - he quietly says, his hand still caressing your scalp. 
Nodding your head, you signal for him to continue his train of thought. 
- I’ve decided to go red. It’s a dream that I’ve always had, and now I have a chance to go for it. I know you want me to stop, but I need to write this page in my book, love. I know I still got it, and I know this opportunity didn’t reach my hands in vain. - his eyes examine your features, searching for a reaction from you. 
Lewis was anxious to tell you, afraid that you might be hurt by his decision - putting the sport in front of everything else, once again. But instead, he is met with a loving smile on your lips. 
- I knew it, baby. I knew from the beginning that you were going to choose Ferrari. I know it was a tough decision to make, but honestly, I think it’s the best one for you now. You deserve another chance, my love, and I’m glad you finally realize that inside of yourself. It was only a matter of time. - your lips connect with his in a kiss of security, protectiveness, shushing away all his fears. - And even if things don’t go as planned, you know you will never be alone. You have your two biggest supporters right here. Plus, I look better in red anyways. - Lewis giggles at your words, hugging you closer as your hand caresses his features. 
There’s a feeling of comfort in your heart, knowing that your husband has made the decision that he finds best for his future, but it’s also a weird sensation. Looking back, ever since you started dating Lewis, he was already at Mercedes - so, in a way, Mercedes has been your family for the past eight years as well. 
They were there when you and Lewis got married, they were there when Grace was born - they’re still there when you take her to some of the races, playing with your toddler, showing her around, teaching her everything about the racing world. So, even if you act like it’s not, it will be hard for you to let go of every moment you have shared with the group as well.
Saying goodbye to a team that has been his family for over a decade will definitely not be easy, but tonight, under the light of your bedside lamp that gently illuminates your bodies, Lewis knows that he will be alright. 
And as the season comes to an end, reality starts hitting him: it is really coming to an end, and he will really have to say goodbye to the team that he considers his family, to the garage that he considers his home. In just a few months, everything will be completely different. 
The last few weeks have been emotional for Lewis - he doesn’t regret the choice he made, but there’s a bitter feeling in saying goodbye to Mercedes, after conquering so much together. 
So, when the driver sits next to his daughter, he takes a look at what she is drawing. 
- Daddy, look! That’s me, mummy, you and Roscoe! - the toddler says, her tiny fingers fidgeting with the pencils in front of her as she points to every member of your family. 
Lewis takes a moment to inspect the drawing, noticing how the little girl even tried to draw him wearing his racing suit, the purple and yellow over his head signaling that he had his helmet on.
- That’s so beautiful, princess! You are such a talented artist. - a genuine smile plays on Lewis’ lips, his arm easily wrapping around the girl’s small figure, hugging her as he leaves a kiss on her cheek. 
Grace giggles at the compliment, giving her daddy a kiss back, before a frown appears on her face.
- I was trying to draw your car, but I can’t, daddy. Can you help me? - the three year-old shyly asks, earning another kiss from her daddy as he scoots closer to the table, grabbing a pencil as well.  - Do you want to draw daddy’s racing car? - he confirms, getting a nod from his baby. 
Handing her the pencil, his hand holds her little one, helping her trace the lines of something similar to a racing car. These are the moments that he cherishes, that he yearns to have more and more of as he senses time ticking by. 
He looks at Grace, and he notices how fast she is growing, developing her personality and interests in front of him, and he just prays that he won’t miss much of her life while he is away. He hopes that, somehow, she can wait for him to grow, so Lewis can be the father that he always dreamed of being, being faithfully by his girl’s side.
- Are you excited to go to daddy’s last race before Christmas? Yeah? - he asks, smiling as his princess excitedly nods her head. She hasn’t been to many races yet, but she seems to love the paddock, the garage, and everything surrounding the races. - Is this the one when we are saying goodbye, daddy? - the girl absently asks, leaning her head on her dad’s chest, her big eyes looking up at him. 
After a second of silence, Lewis replies. 
- Yes. Yes it is, love. - he kisses his daughter’s forehead, reality hitting him. This is it. - Can we still be friends with everybody? I like them, daddy - the kid innocently says, making Lewis’ heart feel tight in his chest. - Of course, my love. We will always be friends. - with another kiss to her hair, the driver feels how the toddler’s words sink in his chest.
And after a brief moment, an idea pops in his mind. 
- How about we write a message to Mercedes on your drawing, baby? Do you think that would be a good idea? - he suggests. - Would they see my drawing, daddy? - the girl curiously asks, and Lewis nods at her words. He will personally make sure that everyone will get to see it. 
Grace chooses a pink pencil, and while Lewis holds her hand again, they carefully write each letter together: ‘Thank you, Mercedes’.
In that moment, Lewis realizes that this won’t take a toll only on him. It will also affect his family, his close ones that were used to meeting him at the same garage for the past eleven years.  
When the final weekend of the season arrives, it takes a lot of emotional strength for everyone to stay in the right frame of mind, to deal with the suffocating emotions that hover in the air. 
Lewis makes sure to be as present as he possibly can, wanting to enjoy each moment, each person to the fullest, experiencing every detail of this team for the last time.
He wants to do everything he can to enjoy his time. That’s why he takes every single person from his team on a hot lap, sharing one final moment with each face that he grew so familiar with for the past years. 
After the entire group had their portion of hot laps, your husband stops the car next to you and Grace, signaling for you two to enter. Sitting your daughter safely in your lap, locking the seat belt around her body, you and Lewis share a smile - one of love and companionship: in the end, you are his team, the one he keeps running to in the good and the bad. And you know what this weekend means to him and to you as a family.
- Are you driving, daddy? - Grace nudges his arm with the tip of her finger, making Lewis’ eyes focus on his mini-version. - You want to go for a lap, love? - he giggles as the girl chants ‘YES!!!’, nodding and clapping at her dad’s offer. 
Starting the car, Lewis starts driving around the track with the utmost caution, barely pressing the throttle of the vehicle, just so his daughter could have a look at the views her daddy has when driving around the track, while the sun is slowly hiding in the horizon.
The little girl doesn’t look impressed at all, and Lewis continues to study her facial expressions. 
- Aren’t you enjoying the drive, baby? - he asks. - The car seems to move a lot faster on the telly - she explains, looking almost disappointed by how slow the car is actually moving.
You and your husband laugh in unison at her complaint. 
- It’s camera magic that makes us look faster, baby. - he gently explains with a wide smile, amused by his daughter’s reactions. - How dangerous was it if daddy was driving around super fast? We can’t do that, love. - he tries to reason with her now, while the girl has no idea of speed. 
The toddler just wraps her small arms in front of her chest, patiently waiting for the ride to come to an end, as her big, curious eyes still look around the track, memorizing every detail. 
Holding Grace safely in his arms, he brings you into the garage after the hot laps, gathering his team to show everyone his new helmet for the last race with Mercedes. Uncovering it, the helmet shows his daughter’s drawing of little Grace, Roscoe and you cheering on Lewis - who’s ready to race with his car beside him. Under the drawing, the words ‘Thank You, Mercedes’ that Lewis had helped his little one writing, stand. Holding it in his hands, he proudly shows it to the group, a joyful smile splattered on the driver’s face. 
The toddler’s eyes wide immediately, her mouth agape as she covers it with her small hand - surprised to see the figures that she drew, on her dad’s helmet. In fact, he wasn’t kidding when he said he would make sure that everyone would get to see it.
- That’s my drawing! I did that! - the girl points out, repeating the words more than once, so everybody can know that she is, indeed, the artist of that masterpiece.  - You were the one drawing this amazing helmet, Gracie? - Bono asks, nudging the kid while smiling. - Yes! - the girl nods. - My daddy isn’t a good artist. Daddy helped me draw the car, but I don’t think it looks like the real one - the entire group laughs at her words, while Lewis puts a hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt by his child’s words, playfully. 
Amongst the laughs and smiles, some warm tears appear on the corners of your eyes. There’s a mix of different emotions diving inside of your chest: it’s sad to leave the group who knows you so well behind, but it’s also exciting to know that your family will enter a new, important phase soon. 
And there’s a feeling of familiarity here, at this moment: it’s your family, thanking the group that took you in, that supported your husband and nestled him so many times before - the family that you found in F1. 
After another disappointing qualification, Lewis was still trying to keep his spirit high, just wanting to enjoy his last time with the car. You spent the entire weekend feeling emotional, always on the verge of tears as things started to feel more and more real. It’s sunday, now. This is it, this is the moment when one of the most historical partnerships in Formula 1 would come to an end.
Your husband reaches for you and Grace, the traditional ‘good luck’ kiss shared between you two as Lewis hugs his princess, who also wishes him a good race. Seeing your other half climbing, for the last time, into a Mercedes car, is enough for the burning sensation in your eyes to come back - your mind reminding you of all the races, all the stress, the victories, the chants, all the stories and memories that you have in this team’s garage. 
Even if the last few seasons haven’t been good for your husband, both of you decided to leave with a feeling of gratitude, knowing that a part of yourselves will always belong in this group, after sharing such a huge chapter of your lives with all these people. 
Picking on the skin on your lips, on your nails, trying to find ways to relieve the usual stress that creeps through your body while you watch Lewis racing, you feel like every sensation is heightened by how fast your heart beats in your chest today.
Lewis is starting from p16, and your hands shake slightly as you try to hold Grace close to you, almost unable to contain the anxiety running through you now - analyzing the chaotic start, your heart sinking for some of your dear friends that didn’t get to finish their last race before leaving F1 - and, looking at the leaderboard on the side of the screen in front of you, a warm smile spreads across your features when you see Lewis’ performance. From p16 to p4 with a passion and talent that he, undoubtedly, still has in himself. 
From the donuts, to the crowd chanting his name, the team radios, to the way he stays inside the car a minute longer to try and calm down his cries - to say that you are a mess now, would be an understatement. 
Immediately running to hug you, the man hides his face in between you and your daughter’s figures, merging himself in the most healing, safe hug that he has ever known. 
Lewis feels the love - emanating from his body, receiving it back from everyone around him, the fans, the team, and he knows that everything that he conquered with Mercedes was real, it was the result of a true, mutual partnership. 
But Lewis can’t keep setting fire to his soul to warm up the team, so the group won’t burn alone. He gave his soul, sweat, blood and tears to Mercedes - and he doesn’t regret it, because he also got a lot back from them. However, the only person Lewis would burn his entire self for, is his daughter.
Savouring every moment, your husband makes sure to speak to every single person in the crew, having a proper farewell from the ones who helped him the most when he was on track for so many years. Pictures, hugs, some tears, this is a moment that will forever be engraved in his mind.
- We dreamed alone, but together we believed. - your husband confesses, breathing as he tries to wrap his own brain around what this moment means.
It’s the end of an era, a door that closes but that, in reality, will always have a crack open - due to everything that ties Lewis and Mercedes together, a duo that will never be forgotten. 
It’s with pride in his heart and a light spirit that he leaves the silver arrows family now, knowing for sure that he leaves a significant part of his legacy connected to the team - whether it’s titles, or changes within the sport that he managed to draw attention to. 
Thanking Mercedes “for all the courage, determination, the passion - for seeing him and supporting him”, Lewis is, more than ever, ready to hold your hand as he takes another challenging step into the future, into a new era of his career: Hamilton in red.
Now, it’s time to stop pretending. It’s time to embrace a new phase that will test him even further, to delve into a new team, surrounding yourselves with different people, with a glimpse of hope for what the future holds for you and your family. 
It will definitely feel strange to hear his next team radios without having Bono guiding him, without hearing the iconic “Lewis, it’s hammertime”, it will definitely feel weird to see him in the same context, but with a whole new crew beside him. But that’s what you’re here for. 
Because, just like your husband said: 
- What started out as a leap of faith, turned into a journey into the history books. 
And that will never, ever be forgotten. 
Kissing Grace on the cheek, holding her close to his heart as his fingers intertwined with yours, Lewis is ready to move forward with the most important piece of his entire life: his family. 
With the legacy he keeps building, he thinks about the 2007 Lewis when he first got to Formula 1, the 2013 driver who tried his luck at Mercedes and succeeded. He couldn’t be prouder of himself, and it’s a feeling that you two share. 
For 2025, the future is bright, brighter than he thinks, as a new team is ready to welcome him with open arms, ready to continue writing his name in history, while a new baby Hamilton will be born in this upcoming, Ferrari era - he just doesn’t know about it yet. 
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kaneaken · 1 month ago
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content notes; Natlan AQ spoilers, spoilers for Capitano's real name & backstory, grief, anger (reader), depictions of a nightmare, angst, gn!reader, can be seen as a continuation of my previous capitano drabble
author's note: Please, if you're going to read this, make sure you checked all the content notes! This one is pretty heavy, so please read with caution. I did my best to take from my own experiences as well as some research to make this accurate. I'd hate to write something that was insensitive to people who have gone through these experiences as well. Of course, grief is different for everyone, so I will most likely not be accurate to everyone's experience, but I did my best!
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You hate the quiet. Despite its emptiness, you feel closed in. For a nation known for its heat, you feel undeniably cold as you sit, looking out at the blazing sun.
It mocks you. Its bright rays remind you of the life prior to all of this. Your beautiful home. Your love. Everything.
There's a knock. You don't flinch. It was common for the soldiers to check up on you constantly, especially after what happened. However, the soft tone that calls out to you is unexpected.
"Sorry to disturb you. Oh, it's Ororon, by the way. Do you remember me? I brought you some carrots last week. Were they good? They were from my garden, so I can guarantee that they were fresh."
You remembered him. The child from the Masters of the Night Wind. You grew to have quite the connection when he agreed to help the Fatui. The soldiers had told you about him coming by to drop off vegetables. He hadn't stayed long, especially since the soldiers had told him you weren't taking visitors.
You sigh. You wonder what he would say in a moment like this. You should get up. Get up. Get up. Get up already.
You get to your feet, dragging yourself to the door. You must look like a mess as you crack the door open. Ororon's facial expression shifts. Pity. It's always pity when it comes to you. Pity. Pity.
You force a pleasant expression, but you know it looks strange. Your eyes are puffy and red, which help distract from the lack of light in them. Your skin has lost its color. You look pathetic. Extremely so.
"I just wanted to check in again. They actually let me through today, so are you feeling a bit better? I brought some spinach. Granny says they're good for you. Oh, and she asked me to bring you one of her wind chimes for your nightmares."
He hands you a basket with said items. You stare. Your heart felt... warm for a second, but then, the thought that had been haunting you comes back. Were you allowed to accept this? Were you allowed to be happy again? No, not without him. It wasn't fair.
"Oh, one more thing. If you're up to it, the Archon is holding a ceremony tomorrow. It's to unveil the monument to the fallen heroes."
Heroes. Was he a hero? Perhaps to the Natlanese he was. To you, he was a fool. Tied to duty all his life. He left you because his duty to his people came before you.
"I could come by, and we could go together if that would help you feel comfortable. I'm sure Granny won't mind passing by. She hasn't seen you in a while."
Could you stand to see such a thing? A monument to fallen heroes. Could you stand to stare at their immortalization of his honor? Did you owe it to him to try to attend even if the idea causes your heart to twist?
Ultimately, you nod despite the jumbling thoughts in your mind. You needed to make the first step forward, but did you deserve to take that step without him?
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It begins happy. You are staring at the cloudy sky with him by your side. You are smiling, and so is he. It almost seems unreal. You've dreamt of this before. It's a memory of when he proposed to you. It was a day you hadn't expected. He always found a way to surprise you, whether it be through gestures or gifts. That day had been no exception.
"You're stiff. Is something the matter?"
"Ah, I suppose I am nervous."
"Nervous? About what?"
"The future. Our future."
He turns to you. You see his smile soften before his face becomes a blur. Again. Just like every night since he left.
When would be the next time you'd see his face? The one hidden behind the mask? Did you even remember what he looked like? Is that why this kept happening? Were you forgetting?
"Did I frighten you?" You let out a breath you hadn't known you were holding as you stared at him. His robes changed. His face became obscured.
"It's me, my love. Do not cry. I am right here."
Liar. Liar. Liar.
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There are tears in your eyes again. However, unlike your first nightmare, they don't startle you. You simply wipe your cheeks and sit up. You were sure you wouldn't get any more sleep, so you got ready for the day.
For the past week, you had been in bed, refusing to come out of the room. The soldiers didn't mind you. They brought you food and water and reminded you of your return trip home. You couldn't stand being in Natlan any longer. Not when they threw you glances of pity.
The first knock at your door is a soldier delivering your breakfast. They seemed startled to see you out of bed, almost dropping the tray in their hands.
"It's nice to see you again." Is all they say before they exit.
The second knock at your door is the duo of Ororon and Citlali. They also seemed startled with a hint of relief amongst it. Although, you notice the crease between Citlali's eyebrows as she stares at you. Regardless, she greets you with a smile.
"Thank you for agreeing to come along. I'm sure it isn't easy for you at the moment. If you need anything, we'd be happy to assist in any way," She reminds you to which you nod.
"Granny's right. We're happy to help," Ororon adds.
"Let's get going. I'm sure the ceremony will be starting soon."
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You can feel their stares. No matter how much you look away, you feel their stares. Their pity. Stop. Stop it. Don't look. Please.
You are grateful for Ororon's tall stature. Once he notices your discomfort, he does his best to keep your figure hidden. Despite this, you continue to stare at the ground.
You don't lift your gaze as you hear Mauvika take her place in front of the monument. You didn't want to look at her. You didn't want to look at him. You didn't want to look. You were fearful of it coming down on you again. The fear. The dread. The knowledge that he was gone.
"I would also like to take the time to recognize a Fatui Harbinger who sacrificed his life for our cause."
You can't stand it. You feel your heart clench, and your eyes squeeze shut.
"You don't owe them anything! What have they done for you? They treat us as threats!"
"... he defeated his fated foe and protected me in the process."
"My duty is to my people as well as those who fight alongside me."
"But, on this occasion, we honor him as one of our own. In Natlan, all heroes are worthy are celebration."
"What about your duty to me?"
You feel a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up for the first time since you arrived. Mauvika stands before you, her hand planted on your shoulder.
"I know there are no words that will erase your pain."
"I want to be the one to hold you and love you through it all."
"But I want you to know--"
"Will you marry me?"
"He was a hero."
Hero. Hero. He was a hero to them. What was he to you? A duty bound fool.
"The Captain saved us, all of us. He will always be remembered--"
A fool, but he was your love. He still is. He always will be. Thrain. Thrain, why did you leave me?
"Thrain," you mutter. Your voice cracks. You look into Mauvika's eyes. Her confident stare is a contrast to your shaky gaze. "His name is Thrain."
Thrain. Your strength gives out. You feel your legs buckle under you, and you fall to the ground in tears. You look pathetic. You're sure of it, but you couldn't take it anymore.
Not them pitying you. Not them treating him as a hero. Not them acknowledging his strength, not his life. Not them honoring his title, not his name.
"His name is Thrain," you repeat between tears, clutching your hands to your chest. Your ring reflects the bright sun, reminding you of his smile.
"Don't cry, my love. I only wish to make you happy. Will you grant me my wish?"
"I will."
"Even if death rips me from your arms, I shall stay by your side. You will never be alone again."
Liar.
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reborn-readings · 2 months ago
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What does your mind need from you at this moment?
Tip Jar | Masterlist | Personal Readings
Hello everyone! This is gonna be my first Pick a Pile, I'm so excited! I hope it brings you joy and healing 💜
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This is a group reading, so take what resonates and leave the rest. Don't force anything if it does not fit. Remember that the future is not set in stone and that other potential paths exist depending on your movement through the course of time.
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Pile 1 (Left)
Death | Rx Four of Cups | Eight of Coins - Ganesha | Ace of Wands | Ten of Autumn | Cycles | Metamorphosis | Culmination – Completion and Renewal
Pile 1, you are spiraling through a lopsided sequence of events right now. It feels like things are building, like trying to contain a windstorm completely out of our control. Change is happening, that much is for sure, but while change is life’s only constant, there are moments that make you ask “Is all this really necessary? Can’t we slow down a bit?” The answer is no, you can’t—the universe is so eager to put new opportunities in your hands that they feel like hurled curses. 
In this chaos, what your mind needs is not a sense of relief or control, but the assurance that you are not powerless in the face of it. Life is giving you a wave—are you going to let it roll over you and send you careening head over heels, or are you going to ride it? Change is a good thing—we often forget that in order to build upon our foundations, we must change and grow. You are a caterpillar ready to weave your cocoon, and only you know the potential you have. Who knows what you’ll emerge as? 
Your mind asks you to consider an opportunity that comes to you and to not guilt yourself for rejecting what you know is not helpful. Follow your intuition on that; don’t close every door that opens, even if it opened by the wind knocking it down. Consistent work will get you where you’re going. Fall back on your previous experience and build on it to bring it to fruition. There is an upcoming end to a material concern or success in a material goal, and it will bring opportunity for a new object of passion with it. You will create something wonderful out of this chaos—I feel the recognition as something making your chest feel full. The chaos may not subside, but with a new understanding of it, you will know how to harness and weather it. 
Other messages - Out of chaos comes creation. Change is beautiful. Satisfaction with financial savings. Bring your all to whatever projects you decide to take on. Having gathered what was needed. Inbox never empty. Kudos for a job well done. 
Symbols - Thick forests. Poured-out vessels. Circles. Insects or other bugs. Perches.
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Pile 2 (Middle)
Two of Pentacles | Rx High Priestess | Ace of Wands – Ra and Kokopelli | Rx Hermit | Prince of Winter | Snowflake Obsidian | Dignity | Independence – Carving Your Own Path
Oh, Pile 2, I see the winter in you. Others might look at you and see the throttling of the edges of autumn and spring. You are more than that, but it becomes difficult to tell when everyone just wishes that winter would be over already. 
Perhaps you are someone young, or someone young in spirit. You have depended on others to help you make the right decisions, but when people tell you that they’ll help you make the right decisions, you often suspect that they want you to make whichever decision will be better for them. Masculine and feminine, withdrawn and social, intuitive or logical—these dualities have plagued you, proponents from each side calling for you to cast away the other. In particular, I see an overbearing masculine presence or ideal that interferes with your thoughts when you try to think about how to move forward. 
Your mind needs to be its own. The reality is, you are a lot bigger and stronger than the people around you. You have a commanding presence that’s a little intimidating, and thus, the people around you want to know that you’re on their side. You should feel honored! But at the end of the day, you can’t leave everyone satisfied, and besides, what’s the point if you yourself are never satisfied? 
I see you really benefiting from taking some time for yourself and your own pursuits. You have been wanting to study something or take a deeper look at something—your mind yearns to be enriched. It also yearns to use that information to take action. It wants you to have faith in yourself and your own decisions, and above all else, to finally make a decision. It may be daunting, but afterwards, you will be a sense of security and stability like never before. I have faith in you. Practice having faith in yourself 
Other messages - A strong foundation will keep you safe. Take pride in yourself. Take honor in your choices, achievements, and actions. Stay focused. Sudden or unexpected changes brought about by you. Head into the vault and stay for a bit. Have some fun in the snow. 
Symbols - Screen doors. Long tails. Something hanging from the ceiling? Searing cold and blistering hot at the same time. Roots in the air and branches in the ground.  Blue sparks/light.
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Pile 3 (Right)
King of Swords | Rx Nine of Swords | Awakening of Wands – Eros | Rx Two of Pentacles | Prince of Spring | Howlite | Partnership | Miracle – Making a Difference
Pile 3, you are the master of the mind…aren’t you? Or is the mind a master of you? 
Keep on reading—it might seem unbearable to think that you do not have a cap on your emotions, your passions, your place in the world—but at this moment, your mind needs you to trust it. Think about it! When you’re using a computer or other piece of technology, you’re not the one going in and individually flipping each bit and byte to its correct position. It is the same with your mind—let it handle the secrets of itself, trust that it knows what to do to keep you being that same, wonderful you. 
Has Cupid’s arrow struck you? Do you find yourself longing to be that perfect romantic that always gets the girl? Now you’ve got even more of a problem! How are you supposed to keep tabs on two minds?! It feels like everything’s going wrong, burning down, targeting you. To get past this, you must learn to see your mind not as an enemy, but as a friend that knows you better than you know yourself. Go ahead and follow your mind, just for one tiny, unimportant decision or impulse, and see how it turns out. If it doesn’t end up good, then oh well, but if it does, see where it takes you. 
The world is a wonderful place when you open yourself up to its many possibilities, even if they don’t all seem perfect or ideal. Challenge yourself to take action and allow yourself to have reaction. You are a talented individual, and, if you let them, others will see you for that and want to be with you. Allow the rainbow of life to soak you in every hue and you just might find a matching color, someone so seamless and natural that you’ll wonder how you ever lived life without them by your side, that you’ll forget what it was like without them. And allow your mind to forget some things. It’ll just open you up to experience new wonders. 
Other messages - Shed the old to embrace the new. Close your eyes to see more clearly. Work together. Touch each other’s hearts. A challenge that you can successfully manage. Recognition.  Eternal work in progress (have fun working on it!) Love yourself. 
Symbols - Song. Walk with flowers lining the path. Obstacles falling away. Clear skies. Meditation. Pink.
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Dividers by @/saradika-graphics
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kiyo-cant-write · 3 months ago
Note
Heyya, I have comeback with an idea. I'm sure you'll like it too. Still I will bring this guy up, but you can add your favorite .
So Yuu got sick, heavily sick. The boys sometimes comes to visit and take care of Yuu. i also found out that when someone got sick, they crave sweet and carbs. So imagine Yuu heavily sick, walking down the stair of their own dorm craving sweet. Just to get sweet jam and bread and they seemed to be a brink of passing out, unless they got their sweet jam bread.
As always I bring Silver, but you can add your own favorite character too if you want.
- 🎵 anon
silver & malleus with a sick!reader ✧・゚
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Hello anon! I am so sorry this took me so long! My health and uni work always takes precedence but I do love writing for this blog even if I lack the time to do so... ^^
I like writing for Diasomnia, they're silly xD Malleus is my favorite but I love them all sm. I added Lillia as a guest star only but was tempted to make him his own scenario... Maybe next time.
Thank you for requesting!!!
Note for everyone that I have a few requests left from earlier to get done before the close of the year and then everything else sent from here on will not be posted until 2025 January. Please keep this in mind, thank you for supporting me!
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Summary: The reader gets taken care of by Silver/Malleus when sick.
TW/CW: mentions of illness/symptoms
Notes: pre-relationship, the reader is Ramshackle Prefect/Yuu, they/them pronouns for the reader, Malleus' "incident" is from canon
Guest Stars: Lilia Vanrouge. Grim
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✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚:
Silver
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Silver has been sick a few times when he was young.
However, he quickly built a strong immune system from having to eat Lilia's cooking and train as a child.
The last time Silver was especially sick was when he was 8 or 9.
Because of his experience with humanity, he knows a bit about treating illnesses. Still, he would rather ask someone to be sure.
Unsure of whether the school nurse would be busy or not, he selects his father (Lilia) to ask. Father is very knowledgeable.
Between Lilia's advice and his own knowledge, Silver is prepared enough and manages to be a help not a hindrance.
He does get into a small spat with Grim, though, for invading Grim's territory.
Silver wasn't sure what was happening, but the pot hadn't boiled over even with his nodding off. Still, he was surprised that the kitchen was still usable. At first, he had planned to tough it out himself when [Name] got sick but he now had the help of his father and Grim (though Grim had initially tried to burn Silver for entering his esteemed territory).
"Isn't it easier to work together?" Silver asked, directing his question to Grim who huffed despite agreeing with the white-haired boy.
"Myaa, I guess so."
Grim's tail flicked in annoyance with the situation. He had become even more irritable since finding that he was not allowed to be a glutton with the soup they were making. It wasn't for him and Grim seemed offended by that fact.
"Silver," Lilia said a moment later, "Are you sure I can't add things to this? I know of some hearty things sure to get [Name] back to good health."
Lilia held up something that Silver trusted less than he'd trust Sebek with a chainsaw. It was a vibrant purple and somehow also a neon green and smelled strange, reminding Silver of the strange things he had eaten as a child whenever he was sick. Lilia cared, surely, but those plants were... bitter and sometimes nauseating to even imagine.
He shook his head. That could not be fed to an already-sick [Name].
They would get sicker!
"No, you know how I feel about your soup. I just needed help chopping things since [Name] might be sick for a while."
Lilia shrugged.
"More for me later then~" he told Silver.
Silver did not ask about that comment.
"Are they going to be okay?" Grim asked, pawing Silver.
"Certainly," the boy assured, "They just seem to have something that will take some time and rest to recover from."
"If you say so..."
Silver wished he was better with words and could reassure Grim of [Name]'s safety. However, he wasn't sure what to say or how to explain it. He was focusing so intently on the soup and on staying awake that little else could enter his mind.
The room filled with the gentle aroma of the homemade soup as the recipe was completed. Silver turned off the burner.
"And I can't have some?" Grim asked, whining.
"You can have some of my veggies~" Lilia told him with a smirk.
"NO! THAT'S POISON!" Grim shouted, ducking behind Silver for protection from the feared veggies Lilia held.
"Surely, it isn't. I promise," Lilia chuckled darkly.
"Father, don't harass Grim," Silver chided the old fae, "And Grim, you can have some but most of it is for [Name] if we want them to recover well."
Grim nodded slowly.
"Fine..."
Silver ignored the continued bickering between his father and Grim as he ladled soup into a bowl. It was warm and filled with all kinds of [normal] vegetables. It should help them!
"YOU JUST WANNA SEE ME GAG ON THAT PLANT!"
"No, no, it's good for you."
"IS NOT!"
"You won't know unless you try it."
Silver placed the bowl onto a wooden tray that [Name] had in a drawer in the kitchen. This would be easy to carry up the stairs to [Name]'s room. Holding a bowl of hot soup might... hurt. It was rather hot, but hot food was good for someone who was sick.
He considered asking Grim to come with him but when he turned to head towards the bedroom, both Grim and his father were gone. Where had they gotten off to? Were they fighting? If they were fighting he might try and stop them...
But he needed to focus on [Name]'s health.
He knocked on the door.
"[Name]? Are you awake?" he asked but he only heard some coughing in return, "Alright, well I'm coming inside."
He pushed the door open and walked up to the bed. There sat [Name], coughing softly with a flushed face and sweaty forehead.
"Hey, Sil," they managed after the coughing subsided, "Is that for me?"
They looked curiously at the tray and he leaned forward to set it on their lap, balancing it so it wouldn't spill and then pulling away.
"I made you some soup to quicken your recovery," he told them.
[Name] looked at the bowl and then at Silver.
"Aww, thank you," they said, coughing a few times because of the strain on their vocal cords, "That's really sweet... of you."
"I hope that it helps, I don't like to see you so uncomfortable."
"You made this for me so it'll help me for sure," they told him with a smile, "I appreciate this."
[Name] tried not to think of the implications of being cared for by someone like this... It was so domestic.
"Ah, well, I'm glad."
Silver offered them a soft smile which they returned.
✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚:
Malleus Draconia
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Malleus thinks that humans are very fragile. Too much so.
He hates to think that an illness could take [Name] from him.
This fae is also unfamiliar with human illnesses and remedies.
He consults Lilia on the proper way to heal a human.
However, in his inexperience with human technology... some things are lost in translation and what Malleus ends up doing is far from what Lilia meant or what would have helped.
Malleus considers that he should have asked Silver.
[Name], sick as they are, may have to explain what they need to Malleus even if it takes them some energy to do so.
Once he has a clear explanation of what to do... he will do it.
Even if his crazy OP magic ability gets in the way somewhat.
Somehow, through this, Ramshackle is not destroyed.
Malleus wasn't sure if this was right. Looking at the kitchen around him, he feared he might have made things more difficult for [Name]. What would they think when they awoke? The kitchen was in utter disarray, there were pots in the sink and ingredients on the floor.
This was all because of that damned thing.
Truly, Malleus did not have any of the patience needed for these human contraptions. What in the world did they invent them for if they didn't work? He sighed to himself as he imagined how easy this might have been otherwise.
Still, he was a respectful fae and he had promised [Name] weeks before to follow one rule when at Ramshackle: no giant shows of fae magic. At first, he had been insulted, but [Name] (and Lilia) had pointed out that his magic was strong and he could destroy the dorm. It pained him to imagine making them sad, so he had agreed.
"I'd best contact Lilia..." Malleus said to himself, knowing he was the only person in the dorm besides the illness-ridden [Name], Grim, and the ghosts who seemed frightened of him still.
Malleus: Lilia.
Lilia: hmm? what's up, malleus? :3
Malleus: [Name] is sick. What should I do?
Lilia: You can try to make some soup for them.
Lilia: Soup helps when humans are sick.
Lilia: I used to make some fire ones for Silver when he was a boy.
Malleus: Fire? Flames?
Lilia: Human slang. It means "good."
Clicking the picture Lilia had sent of his hand-written list, Malleus noted that these were all what was deemed as "healthy." Was this all supposed to go into the soup? Malleus wasn't sure. Some of it seemed like it wouldn't be the best-tasting soup if it were combined with the other things on Lilia's list.
Pumpkin sardine strawberry liver soup?
As Malleus continued to look through the list, his phone shut the app he was using accidentally. It must have crashed. Fiddling with the phone, Malleus tried but was unsuccessful in bringing the list back up. His frustrations crushed the phone to bits.
Well, isn't that just great? Another one is dead. Always difficult creatures, cell phones.
But Malleus was not going to give up so easily. This illness would not take his Child of Man from him. No, it would not. Putting what remained of his phone into his pocket (he would bother Lilia and Silver about it later), he turned back to the messy kitchen (all his own fault).
"I will make soup or die trying," he told himself, "I promise."
A few minutes passed and an explosion rang through the house.
"Mal... Malleus?? What are you doing?" [Name] asked, standing in the kitchen doorway and coughing from a mixture of sickness and inhaling the smoke from the (minor, in comparison to last time) explosion.
"Making your wellness soup."
Malleus said this as though it was obvious.
"Whatever soup it is, it's probably burnt," they told him, coughing again, "Cooking from scratch is hard, it's why I just have the canned stuff like Grim's tuna."
"Canned..." Malleus echoed.
That might have been easier, at least.
"Yeah, it's microwaveable," [Name] said, walking into the burnt kitchen to find the canned soup from the cupboard.
"Oh, I'm not allowed to touch those things. Lilia's orders."
Malleus disliked remembering that time.
"...What?" [Name] responded head in a cabinet.
Did they hear him right?
"There was an incident," Malleus said as an explanation.
It was not a very good explanation.
[Name] chose to ignore it and sighed. Must be a fae thing.
Holding the can, they opened it quickly and dumped the contents into a bowl in one motion, trying not to cough too much as they did so. If Malleus was going to blow up Ramshackle, it was probably better that they cooked for themselves.
Malleus seemed to be pouting in the background.
"..."
"You tried your best, I appreciate it," they told him.
"I am sorry about your kitchen."
"It's fine, Grim did worse trying to make a casserole with the ghosts. Something about it only needing 3 seconds in the oven if it was a certain temperature?"
[Name] laughed.
If they were smiling like that... How could Malleus stay upset? Besides, there was more he could do to help the sick human, right? Malleus was not going to leave [Name]'s side. Not now, not yet.
"That does make sense though. If it was hot enough would that not quicken the speed?"
[Name] gave the fae prince a look.
"Malleus Draconia, don't make me make a rule about no dragons cooking in my kitchen..."
✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚:
Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^
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juicedaloe · 2 years ago
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Mithrun and brain damage
I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this, but I wanted to make a post talking about why I think that Mithrun has brain damage from a traumatic brain injury instead of him being a representation of other neurological disorders or mental illness. I'm not that involved in the dunmesh fandom so I don't know how common this headcanon is, though I've seen a few people mention it here and there.
This is just my own opinion so if you disagree then that's fine. Some of this is just speculation and I can't say what Kui's intentions were. This post isn't meant to be that serious. I just wanted to talk about it and hopefully inform about how brain damage can affect some people in a way that I hope is interesting and relevant.
This will be kind of long because I like to talk so it will be under the cut. Apologies for the length and how much I ramble. Feel free to give input especially if I got anything wrong or if this is too confusing.
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Okay let's go
Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is incredibly complex. The long-term effects of a TBI include a wide array of symptoms. Each injury is different, and some people can completely recover rather quickly while others can become permanently disabled, even for seemingly "minor" injuries. What I'll cover here isn't a definitive representation of the experiences of all those who have long-term effects from TBI, nor do I speak for everyone with brain damage.
Here are some long term symptoms relevant to this post:
Alexithymia (inability to process and name emotions)
Inability to process and name physical perceptions
Mood swings and emotional regulation difficulties
Communication difficulties
Social impairment
Apathy about caring for oneself
Lack of motivation
Alexithymia and inability to process physical perceptions
This one is rather obvious. While Mithrun is shown to feel emotions and have physical sensations (for instance, describing his location when he gets lost in the dungeon as "a cold place"), he is also apathetic to how this affects him. This means that his physical and emotional perceptions are reduced in some way. He says that becoming lord of the dungeon will leave someone "empty", showing he is aware of his dulled emotional state.
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A good example of this is can be seen here in a bonus comic where he doesn't give much of a reaction to burning his mouth on hot food.
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(I love these two a lot, by the way. Pattadol is really under appreciated.)
He is also not able to recognize bodily signals, such as hunger or when he is tired. Despite collapsing from exhaustion and not eating for long periods of time, he still insists he is not tired or hungry.
Mood swings
Mood swings in combination with alexithymia can be an especially disorientating experience. Those who struggle to perceive their own emotions can still feel them even if they don't know how to recognize it.
Individuals with brain injuries often experience drastic mood swings, particularly anger. To those around them, they can appear to go from 0 to 100 in an instant.
This is more speculation/headcanon on my part, as the strongest emotion Mithrun has for most of his appearances is anger. However one could interpret this as being unrelated as he is seeking revenge for a traumatic experience.
Communication difficulties and social impairment
Not only can naming personal experiences be incredibly difficult with a brain injury, but other areas of communication are often affected as well.
Mithrun is not able to set boundaries for himself even if someone is doing something he would not actually want them to do, which can leave him in a vulnerable position.
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People with brain injuries can sometimes have a paradoxical experience when it comes to communicating with others. They can go from being very quiet to speaking at length about one topic, seemingly without regard for the importance of each bit of information. (I see it like Newton's first law of motion. It is hard to start speaking and it can be just as hard to stop.)
I really like this aspect of Mithrun's characterization. Usually, he is very quiet because he has no reason to speak. However, once he starts talking he is shown to be overly specific and goes on for long periods of time. Kabru has to spend multiple days figuring out his story.
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In a side comic, Kabru tells Mithrun he should condense some of the personal details that Kabru finds irrelevant to the topic of the dungeon.
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Mithrun shares many details about himself because his desire not to do so is gone. This mirrors the experience of many people who have brain damage to overshare and not understand how their words will come across to others. Sometimes they say or do things that are insensitive or inappropriate for the situation.
Caring for oneself and motivation
In the dungeon, Mithrun becomes reliant on others for self care. He also seems especially incapable of motivating himself to take care of his body when he is particularly focused on his goals.
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In these panels, thus far he had been fairly receptive of Kabru trying to take care of him. However, he could sense that the demon was close and was too focused on that to care to eat.
Refusal of care and treatment is often an effect of traumatic brain injury. This can be for seemingly no reason, even if the person knows that this will help them. Sometimes people will lie about receiving treatment or doing things to take care of themselves, either so they can avoid it or avoid having someone take care of them.
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He knows that eating regularly and not pushing himself too much will help him - he's been told multiple times on-screen - but he still has to be continuously told by others to give him that motivation to take care of himself. He's very apathetic to his physical state, even if it seems his only desire is for revenge and he should be doing anything he can to achieve that.
Other things of note
I wasn't sure where to put this, but while Mithrun's sense of direction is speculated by Kabru to be left over from his time as lord of an ever-changing, confusing dungeon, having poor sense of direction in the way he does could also be indicative of brain injury as well.
While the dungeon is confusing and illogical, he is known to have a poor sense of direction and to get frequently lost by those around him, even trying to exit an entrance he just came through. He is shown to be very intelligent, but memory is greatly impacted by brain injuries which affects a person's sense of direction and location.
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Something that really stands out to me about Mithrun is how much the things that help him are particularly helpful to those with brain damage. He is physically capable of performing tasks, but he needs an outside source to remind him and get him started. He relies entirely on routine, and when that regularity is taken away he shows extreme difficulty taking care of himself.
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Sometimes, the care that some people need is simply someone else to encourage them or to tell them when to do things. The care that he needs is pretty consistent with a person with a brain injury who does not need a full time caretaker and would prefer to have some independence.
Also, healing magic is specified to not work with brain injury unless the person is killed and revived. Mithrun had not been revived after his injuries, so it is entirely possible for him to have sustained a TBI. I don't think this matters that much because one is still allowed to have headcanons even if there is a magical explanation or isn't really possible in canon, but I thought it was an interesting detail.
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In conclusion
Because of all this I don't believe that his lack of self care is due solely to mental illness. While mental illnesses like depression or PTSD can cause a decline in self care, the reasons why the affected individual is avoidant of these tasks differs. These disorders can also cause cognitive difficulties and emotional regulation issues, but not to the same extent or in the same way that brain damage would. I think that he does have both depression and PTSD (both are common after a TBI) but those are not his only disabilities.
And on a personal note, I just think that having a character with brain damage is really cool. Most of the time I've seen it the characters are not given very much respect and they are treated as comic relief and a joke. Regardless of whether you agree with this post or not, it is still nice to see a character with a disability like this.
Thank you if you read all of this. I hope it was easy to understand and I did not ramble too much. I don't have anything else to say but I've been wanting to write this out for a while.
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Okay bye
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