#i just wanted to draw them in a strawberry dress mostly hehe

[kamacosmos]

[wxyvision]

Dear First Love {3/4}

Genre: angst, fluff

Word count: 2,106

Part 1 | Part 2

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Dear first love,

So you heard, from either Guanheng or Mark, I assume, that I wanted you to teach me how to dance. I mean, I was sort of serious, I thought it could be a good way to get closer to you whilst doing something fun. I wasn’t actually expecting them to tell you, though. I should thank you for actually offering to teach me, and for not laughing at my bad dancing. I was surprised that you bought food and drinks for me, I really wasn’t expecting you to do that. The food was tasty, thank you. You keep making me fall for you more and more with your sweet actions. It’s not fair, how do I make your heart melt? How do I make you fall for me the way I have done for you? I keep hoping maybe I’ll get really good at dancing and your heart will flutter. I can hope, huh? You were really patient with me, I appreciated that. I think I would have gotten frustrated after a while! Also, did you notice that my Mandarin improved a lot? I’ve been studying hard recently! Guanheng still doesn’t know that I’m learning for you, I think he thinks I’m learning because a lot of the boys speak the language and not because I have feelings for you. We talked a lot whilst you taught me, it was fun. Did you enjoy it too? I hope maybe we can do it again in the future, even though I’m nowhere near as talented as you are. Even if I mess up all of the steps, I would be a fun time as long as I get to spend it with you! I wish I had something to share with you in return as a thank you, but you’re already into acting, so it’s nothing new to you. What can I do?

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

Guess how long it’s been since we met! It’s been a whole two years!! Right now it’s nearing the summer holidays and I’m really looking forward to it. Especially since we made plans to hang out over the summer, both alone and with the boys. Just as long as we don’t go camping, I don’t want anyone to break a bone or anything. Perhaps we could visit the zoo! Or maybe the beach? Again, I would love to go to the theme park all together, but I can imagine that it would be chaos! Can you imagine a group of teens running around like kids in a sweetshop? Yeah... maybe that would be one for just us two, or us and a couple others. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Oh, but I forgot you’re afraid of heights, aren’t you, my little chicken wing? Perhaps that wouldn’t be such a good idea after all.. I’m sure we’ll find something that everyone wants to do! Do you have any other plans for the summer holidays? I know you said something about trying to visit home for a week or two, I hope you get to spend some quality time with your family, you must miss them a lot. My summer holidays will be spent either hanging out with you and the boys or doing random little doodles when I get bored of eating ice cream in the park. Ha, just kidding, I’ll never get tired of eating ice cream. Especially if the other person is paying ;). I should do a doodle of you, but I would have to do a doodle of everyone so it doesn’t seem like I’m only drawing you. After all, I don’t want to make my feelings obvious, especially because I don’t know how you feel… Damn, why can’t I just tell you? It seems so silly to be so scared. You wouldn’t run away, right?

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

Summer flew by fast! I think it's because I had a lot of fun. We should be able to meet up once before school starts again, right? We got the chance to hang out a lot over the summer, which was amazing. We all went to the beach a couple of times... that was complete chaos, but it was funny when we all tried to throw Mark in the water. He still uses that against me. You wouldn't believe how many ice creams he's gotten out of me. At least YangYang managed to get us free ice cream out of the oldie hehe. Did you enjoy the little water fight? We were on the same team, weren't we? I always knew you were secretly competitive! You were a good shot, better than me at least. I wish we could do that again some time. There's always next summer, isn't there? I hope we'll all stay in contact when we leave. It's our last year here now, and then we will have graduated. It's kind of sad to think that I may never see you and the other boys after then, but I hope we at least talk sometimes, even if it's not as much as we do now. I'm just gonna enjoy this year as much as I can and make even more amazing memories with you! We made plans to hang out often, assuming school doesn't get in the way too much. I won't be doing any performing this year, I have enough on my plate with exams and that, but I volunteered to be a stagehand, so I'll still be pretty busy. Not too busy that I can't see you, I hope. Maybe we can all go bowling again like we did over the summer. It was a little difficult since we couldn't all play against one another, but it was fun to have a friendly competition. And how could I forget? You and me going to the zoo together, just the two of us. It turns out you were just as excited to see all of the animals as I was. Although I wasn't just happy because of seeing the animals, but because I got to spend time with you, too. We took many photos, didn't we? I hope we can both look back at that day with fondness. I know I will. If only it could have been a date, but I will settle for a hangout for now. Perhaps one day?

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

It was your birthday on Wednesday! You're another year older and wiser (and sweeter) now. I know this year it was a bit less organised than before, but everyone has been busy with school work recently so we had less time to make proper plans. It's regretful, especially since this is the last year celebrating your birthday like this. Still, it was nice to have a more relaxing celebration, don't you think? Well, apart from Lucas starting a high note battle and nearly getting us kicked out. But it's those kind of memories that we'll keep in our hearts. The two of you had two cakes (lucky!). Unfortunately one of them was allowed to be decorated by Donghyuk and Guanheng… sorry about that. They really made a mess, didn't they? Still, they were proud of their "artwork". It was cute, though… kinda. You looked really happy the whole time, I don't think I ever saw that smile leave your face, not even for one second. I'm really glad that spending time with us made you so happy. We also celebrated Halloween together, didn't we? It was pretty cool seeing everyone dress up in fun costumes. You looked super handsome as always! It probably wasn't a good idea to watch spooky movies though. All I kept hearing was someone screaming… and I could see a few of the boys hiding behind cushions. But then Johnny put on a Halloween playlist and we had a mini rave. I don't think I've ever seen anyone waving strawberry pencils like a lightstick before. It's these sort of things we learn not to question after a while, huh? It was good to spend more time with you, school has been pretty hectic recently. It seems that every class has a million and one assignments to complete and to blink would be wasting time. Still, that's no excuse not to party! ...Maybe that's why I'm so behind. I hope things are going well for you. I hope your classes aren't too crazy and that work isn't piled up high for you <3

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

Christmas has come and gone! How was it for you? I heard that you went home to see your family this year. I know how much you've been missing them from the conversations that we've had lately. I keep seeing photos of you and your family on your Instagram. You look absolutely adorable in that Christmas sweater! I can tell how happy you are to be home from how wide your smile is and from the twinkle in your eyes. I wish for you to be that happy always. I can't wait to hear all about your Christmas when school starts again. I wonder what sort of presents you got. I bet you got something really cool, right? Did you eat well? There was so much food for me, but I ate a lot! I mostly received money and small gifts but I treasure those gifts a lot because they were so thoughtful. Did you enjoy the presents you got from me and the boys? I know mine wasn't that much but it's the thought that counts, right? I know how much you like those. Are you flying back for New Year's Eve? Johnny is throwing a party to see in the new year. I hope that you'll be there but if not, then happy new year. I hope next year treats you even better. Time seems to fly by so fast, doesn't it? It feels like only a week ago that the year began, yet it's already ending! Are you planning on making a resolution? I never stick to mine. I always promise myself that I'll eat healthier, or procrastinate less, or sleep better but I never do. I wonder if it's the same for you.

Your little dumpling

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dear first love,

I wasn't going to write another letter so soon but I have to get these feelings out of my head and onto this page. I'm glad you were there for the party. You looked handsome as ever, although was I really expecting you not to? You were wearing the cutest sweater I've ever seen. It looked so good on you, but then again what doesn't look good on you? That was… I'm sorry. I'm glad you enjoyed the party. It was nice to spend time with you again after not seeing you for a bit. I heard all about your Christmas with your family. It made me wish I had been there, it sounded so homely and sweet. Your family sound lovely. It's no wonder you're such a sweet person when your family is also that sweet. Still, I'm now wishing that I was busy that day. Or sick. Or for some reason I hadn't been there. As much as it kills me to say that, that's how I feel. Despite being so happy to see you and talk to you and spend lots of time with you, I wish that I hadn't been there. But we can't take back that now, can we? If you were reading this now I bet you'd be wondering why I felt like this, wouldn't you? It sounds so silly, and I shouldn't be so upset over it, but it still hurts. I had always wished that one day I'd have a new years kiss. Maybe I should have been more specific with that wish. I felt so bad. It'll be awkward to see Mark tomorrow. Actually, I don't know if I will. It depends how things go I guess, but I hope things will be okay between us, he's the best best friend I've ever had and I don't want to lose that. I feel bad that he was kissing me yet the only person I could see was you. I feel bad that I don't feel that way for him, and now our friendship is threatened by one stupid kiss. And I wish I felt that way for him because then it wouldn't hurt so much seeing you kissing someone else… I don't know if you have feelings for them or not, but either way the image still makes me heart feel heavy.

Little dumpling