#i just want to word vomit . been stuck in a bad nasty rude to myself feedback loop abt NOT venting and NEEDING to reach out directly

[studiousbotanist]

[studyswimsexsleep]

What a Bad Roommate Looks Like

Let me start off by saying that I had the worst roommate experience when I moved into my first apartment. I still have this upcoming school year to see how these new roommates turn out, but I will share parts of my awful experience to help those looking for some guidance. This post serves the dual purpose of showing that people are awful even if they were your friend to begin with.

1) They are Slobs

Now some people may claim that they are clean but everyone has a different definition of cleanliness. 

Experience: I had 3 roommates who ranged in their levels of messy. The messiest roommate, roommate C, shared a bathroom with me; she never touched a cleaning agent, vomitted at the thought of cleaning a toilet, left actual wrappers on the floor in the living area, and left UNRINSED dishes (I repeat, nasty-foul-smelling dishes with rotting food debris) in moutainous piles in the kitchen sink and left them there until the sink was full or smelled too bad. The other roommates were gross but she made me want to scream. 

Solution: Ask people what their true cleaning habits are. If they don’t clean AT ALL and you are a neat freak, walk away. If you are mutually clean or you are accepting of some messes, go ahead. Honesty in this aspect is a huge factor in feeling like you can walk into your own place and not have a headache.

2) They are Bad at Communication

This is by far the most important aspect of roommates. Without good communication, your life WILL turn into living hell.

Experience 1: Roommate A, was a girl who went MIA on the regular. The other roommates and I would honestly go several days without seeing or hearing from her. She was not responsive to text messages or calls half of the time so at some point we would just stop asking. One time her friend called us late at night when the two had been partying and told us that roomie A had disappeared with a strange boy and didn’t say a word of where she was going. We debated for hours wondering if she had been kidnapped and if we should call her parents and the police.

Experience 2: Roommate B, the craziest person I have ever met in my life, has a lot of emotional and confrontational problems. She always bragged and claimed that if she had a problem or issue with someone, she was straightforward about it. WHAT A LIE! She would do anything to avoid talking to me about a small issue and then blame me a week later saying that I make her feel uncomortable because I might explode with rage. (Mind whenever she avoided talking to me, I just removed myself from the situation thinking she needed time to vent). Often times she’d come stomping into the kitchen screaming about how dirty it was when literally the only dirty dishes that were out were her own. Whenever there was an issue, like when she threw a party when I went home for the weekend, she’d lie about it. “Where’d the rack of beer come from?” “Oh we just had some friends over.” “Why are all my mugs dirty and in the dishwasher?” “Oh we thought we’d just clean them.” .... I could go on and on about this awful excuse for a human but I won’t rant anymore.

Solution: DO NOT EVER live with someone who cannot communicate with you. You can live with someone who may argue sometimes (they all will) but don’t live with someone who has not desire to communicate. 

3) They Ask you to Lie

While lying isn’t always bad (like when you ask your friend to call you with a fake emergency during the middle of an awful date), it shouldn’t be expected.

Experience: Roommate B and Roommate C were theives. They liked to go around stealing signs from different aparment properties for their sick kicks and thrills. While it isn’t criminal, it is pathetic and rude especially if it’s stealing from the apartment complex you live in. Well one day the two girls got caught when a maintence man saw 2 door numbers from another apartment hanging on one of our walls. The manager left us all very angry voicemails asking for an explanation when we were in class. I was going to call the manager right after classes to explain that the girls had stole it for their own personal prank when all of sudden the girls tell all of us to shut our mouths and say we never saw it. So a few hours later, all four of us had to walk into the manager’s office and lie so that we could be billed to replace both the signs they stole. At least the two idiots had brains to say that only they were responsible and should pay for it.

Solution: Whether you are best friends or not, make sure you live with someone who isn’t going to ask you to do things you aren’t comfortable with. 

4) They Make Fun of You

This factor made living in my last apartment the absolute hardest for me. I actually moved out because I could not stand to be bullied any longer.

Experience: I will not go into detail because it is quite a complex situation. In a short story, Roommate B called me terrible names for months on end. Truly mean and hurtful names that would make your mother wash your mouth out with soap. She repeatedly called me it for months and thought it was funny each time until it progressed and got to the point where I felt PURPOSFULLY bullied. Often times she insulted me and made fun of me when she was high or drunk, claiming that she only said it because she wasn’t sober.

Solution: If someone is honestly making you feel like a bad person to the point where you can’t even walk into the place where you live and feel safe and a place of sanctuary, you have a Grade A bad roommate. Do not ever live with someone who makes fun of you on the regular even if it is jokingly. It will eventually evolve into “fun” that has meaning and hatred behind it.

5) They Have no Ambitions

Experience: Roommate C should’ve been a college droppout. She was on academic probation for multiple semesters, laid on the couch throughout every finals week, and could binge watch TV shows like it was a sport. This girl had no ambitions, academically, socially, or even athletically. She actually had trouble making friends or meeting boys because she was honestly very dull. It got to the point where it started effecting me though. Before she switched her major, she would wait to the literal last minute just to start an assignment. I would go into office hours all the time and spend almost 10 hours on some assignments and get them done earlier in the week. She would wait until the day it’s due and 2 hours before we had to turn them in to start. She always asked me to help her and give her the answers as if I owed it to her but I told her no one day and it was actually one reason that broke our friendship.

Solution: Live with someone who makes you feel happy and one you want to share experiences with. Living with someone who makes you concerned for their well-being is taxing on you and unnecessary. These people may honestly get to the point where they’re unreliable for paying rent! If you wouldn’t want your parents to meet them, it’s best if they don’t live with you either. 

These are just my top 5 factors that indicate what a bad roommate looks like. Hopefully you can recognize one before you end up stuck on a lease with them. I will try to make a more updated post that indicates these signs but for now, I’m going off of my initial experience. And of course, always remember to be a good roommate yourself. The last thing you want is to be cause of trouble. Comment or message me with any opinions of whether this post was useful and what can be improved or added! Thanks!