#i just want smack sosososososoooooooooo bad
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i don’t know how to cry anymore
#diary#like i sooooo just want to be about to be like ok tears on feel emotion & turn it off but a) stress b) no time for that c) i use drugs#instead but OK HERES THE THING#like idk i’ve just lost interest in so much but also im like#not wanting to die i’m just chillin im just literally 50/50 the glass is not half full nor empty it is simply half#like i’ve even gotten to a point where it’s like smoking weed doesn’t even help like im not smoking as much/often anymore#this may be a fake assumption bc i hit a blinker on 3 carts at a time now so like#maybe that’s all that’s happened#bigger hits less frequently#but like here’s the thing i smoked when i woke up & then came back & did shit so between 1p & 8p i didn’t smoke ANY WEED & usually im like u#know chain smoking but it’s just like#even doing it is such a hassle & it’s barely worth it bc i’m just high & sad#like uplifted but not all that into it#i just want smack sosososososoooooooooo bad#girl i’m just \:#i’m lonely but also i’ve no energy to actually meet people THAT I ALREAYD KNOW#talking to people is just an excruciating task#i love being around people like i was on the bus & i had a lovely time#this was today#‘yea ‘this was today that i went on the bus’ & that’s all i tell u. fill in the enjoyability.’#ALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLALSLAK like idk just seeing people interact w each other it’s nice bc i Am Insane
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