#i just wanna get hooooooome

[a-s-levynn]

You all know the type you want to know at the other side of the door the politest way possible? Yeah i hate when they show up at the library.

[pithyorangecurd]

Eugh =_= stupid fucking forbes training.

[tumblasha]

just googled "homebody vs agoraphobia" how's ur day going?

[coffincoitus]

getting ready to go to this volleyball game that I agreed to attend for some reason 😔 bro why do I do this to myself. I just wanna stay hooooooome

[morrowleaf]

I need to get more work done but I just wanna chill and drawwwwww let me go hooooooome

[roses-and-rads-archived]

Oh my god oh my god

[theflyingfeeling]

I am going to randomly pick college au ch3, and if nobody asked yet also airport :)

you're the first one asking so here we gooooo :D

College AU chapter 3 is Olli's POV, the first of the two he'll have out of the 10 chapters I have planned to write for this story (agonizingly slowly, may I add, but my goal is still to finish the whole thing by Christmas)

Here's a little preview of what kind of torture y'all in for this holiday season:

“What about you?”

“Huh?” Olli said to his pint.

“When did you last get laid?”

Suddenly Olli wished the drink in his glass had been something stronger than the dark lager he was sipping at, because how on earth was he supposed to answer that question, his options being 1) “after the freshmen party (yes, our freshmen party) when I got so drunk I thought Tommi was an orc from Lord of the Rings”, 2) “during the autumn break last year when you went to Spain with Santeri and I missed you so much I hooked up with a random guy I met at a club after a gig, who looked nothing like you with his long brown hair and killer abs and who substituted Prof. Lighthall last period and it was all kinda awkward”, and 3) “every night, with you, when I close my eyes”.

The airport one is more an abandoned work by now than a WIP because so many details I had planned to use for it I have used for my other works by now, but perhaps at some point I'll get another burst of inspiration. Basically it's a one-shot of the guys being stuck at an airport because of a thunder storm or something, and really it doesn't have much of other plot lol, it's just super fluffy and cute.

A snippet, if you will:

“I wanna go hooooooome,” Joonas whined next to him and leaned his head against Niko’s. The familiarity of Joonas’ body beside him eased Niko’s discomfort, but only to some extent. He still wouldn’t have given away any of the experiences they had gathered during the latest chapter in the life of Blind Channel to be back home right now, neither the good nor the bad ones, as they all amounted to the big picture, the incredible adventure they had been on together. Be that as it may, he could have considered giving up a toe nail or two if he could somehow appear in his bedroom right now, buried in the sheets that smelled like home (or Joonas (or both)).

Joel, on the other hand, seemed to be about ready to sell his entire soul to the devil in exchange for the magical ability of teleportation, judging by the way his eyes kept wandering around the terminal helplessly and how his hands fidgeted with the multiple bracelets wrapped around his wrist. That was why Niko was thankful for the words Tommi was to say next, delivered with such gravity that would have put doomsday news anchors to shame.

“Let’s go for some beers.”

Thank youuuuuuu! 😁

[svnflowervol666]

Uncertainty (Frat boy!Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Frat boy!Harry, use of alcohol, mentions of sexual assault, Harry being a sweet angel because I can’t picture him being anything else.

Author’s Note: Another request that waranted its own post! I wrote this one with a bit of a possibilty for continuation (if anyone is interested??) Anyways, thank you the anon for the request! Frat boy!Harry makes my heart scream. Let me know what else you’d like for me to crank out for you lovelies! Take care and tpwk.

Of all places Harry had expected to bump into her outside of class, his frat house on a Friday night was definitely at the bottom of the list. One minute, he was taking shots of tequila with his bed buds in the dining room and the next, he found his whole world coming to a halt when he saw her work her way through the sweaty, intoxicated crowd and move towards the kitchen for a drink. He swore the music stopped and everything around him had ceased to exist in the moment he saw her throw her head back in laughter at something her friend said, exposing her neck and chest to the open air.

“Who’s she?” one of his fraternity brothers asked with a nudge to Harry’s shoulder, clearly aware that Harry had temporarily abandoned the conversation he was having to gawk at the party’s newest arrival.

Harry snapped out of his daze in which he was staring at her bare legs that shimmered in the dim light of the frat house due to her lotion and a thin veil of sweat to see his brother staring at him as if he was the dumbest man alive.

“Hmm? Oh, her?” Harry pointed towards the girl in question with the neck of the beer bottle he had been nursing on all night.

“I sit by her in calculus... Just didn’t think I’d ever see her ‘round here is all.”

The boy standing beside Harry nodded hesitantly, though he was far too intoxicated to press him any further. Harry would never admit it to anyone as long as he lived, but he had quite the soft spot for this girl. He had no explanation for the way he felt inside when she smiled at him every time she took her seat before class. He had no explanation for how bummed he was when she’d skip a day, or how relieved he was when she’d burst into the room late with a large iced coffee in her hands. He used any and every excuse he could to get her to talk to him, to say anything to him in that voice of hers that he found to be sickly sweet.

But she didn’t run with the people that he ran with. She didn’t spend every weekend blackout drunk and wake up in a stranger’s bed that she knew she’d never see again. She was shy and quiet for the most part and was very much the polar opposite of everyone Harry went for both in terms of friendships and in one night stands. Which was exactly why Harry could never figure out what it was that he wanted from her. Did he want to shag her a few times and then pretend as if she never existed? Did he just want to be her friend that he could lay around with and watch stupid romantic comedies on Netflix with? Did he want to, dare he say it, date her? Take her out for nice dinners and fall asleep holding her in his arms? He didn’t know the answer to any of those questions. She was simply different than all of the people Harry had associated himself with in college. And Harry, as scared as he was to say or even think it, liked that.

One might think that now would be the perfect opportunity for Harry to get to know this girl that he had been tied up over for the past several months given that she was attending a party at his own frat house, but he couldn’t bring himself to approach her. Instead, he drowned his feelings in shots of bitter liquor and half-assed games of beer pong. He figured that whatever had enticed her to come to this party certainly didn’t involve him, and it was best that he kept his distance. She’d passed by him a few times to refill the red, plastic cup she clutched like an accessory, but she never once looked his way.

Several hours had passed since her arrival and Harry, being the heavy partier that he was, had almost completely forgotten about her. The bass-heavy music pumped through his veins along with the icy burn of whatever he was drinking at the moment, and he was too preoccupied with the tiny blonde grinding her backside against his front to remember that she was even present at this party. He had forgotten she existed. That was until he broke away from the buzzing bodies and lager-soaked living room floor to use the restroom.

The downstairs powder room was always taken, so he opted for the one upstairs where all of the bedrooms were. When he pushed open the door, he was greeted by quite the debacle. His blood ran cold and every bit of alochol that worked to keep him at a happy buzz had left his system. The girl from his math class was there, and she was perched on the lip of the bathtub with her arms crossed. She was there, in his bathroom, but she was not alone.

“C’mon, sexy,” the inebriated, smelly man beside her pleaded, “Just come back to my room for a bit. Promise I’ll make you feel good.”

“I don’t want toooooo,” she slurred her words and pouted as if she were a temperamental toddler.

Had Harry not immediately recognized what was going on, he would have thought it was quite adorable.

“Yes, you do, baby. C’mon, it’s just right around the corner,” Harry’s fellow fraternity brother nagged.

He tried to pull her up by her limp arm, but she was dead weight against the porcelain tub, clearly too drunk to be going back to anyone’s bedroom with anyone and certainly not with a man Harry knew for a fact that she had never seen before in her life. The sight of what was going on made Harry sick to his stomach and the hairs on his neck stand up. He knew he had to intervene before this man could take her any further.

“Hey, man,” Harry commanded the attention of his disgusting, vile frat brother that he wanted nothing more than to punch square in between his eyes, “Ye’ ex was lookin’ for ye’ in the backyard. Seemed pretty pissed.”

Harry didn’t even know who his ex was, nor did he know whether or not she was even at the party, but he prayed that his lie was enough to make him leave before Harry had to handle him more aggressively.

“Fuck,” the man hissed to himself before making a beeline out of the cramped bathroom and towards the stairs as if he wasn’t just attempting to drag an almost lifeless girl back to his room.

“Hey,” Harry’s tone was much softer when he bent down to her level and spoke to the girl from his math class, “You alright?”

“No,” she grumbled, “I really want some chips.”

This made Harry scoff and the tiniest of smiles creep onto his lips. At least she was so far gone that the events that unfolded in the bathroom just now had failed to resonate with her.

“Waaaaait a minute,” she paused, “I know you. You’re Henry,” she jabbed her finger against Harry’s chest.

“I know you, too, Y/N,” Harry played along, ignoring the fact that he called her Henry as he inspected her body for her purse, which was, thankfully, still wrapped around her torso.

He dug around the small, black bag for her cell phone, which he, unfortunately, found out had no battery left.

“Do ye’ know where your friend is?” he enunciated slowly and assertively to her a bit like one would if they were talking to a baby.

The girl with smudged mascara under her eyes shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

“I saw her taking shots with some guy named Michael...or was it Matthew... and then I think she went off with some guy from her econ class. Or maybe it was the girl from her Women’s Studies class. I don’t really know,” the girl whined as if thinking too hard about where her friend had gone was giving her a headache.

“Was someone supposed to come get ye’?” Harry pressed her further.

“She was supposed to drive!” Y/N exclaimed, realizing now the predicament she was in.

Harry couldn’t believe how shitty of a friend this girl had. Not only had she disregarded her role as the designated driver, but she’d left her completely alone and drunk off her ass to fend for herself. The thought of what would have happened to her had Harry not miraculously stumbled into the bathroom made his skin crawl.

“Okay then,” he stood up from where he was squatted and outstretched his arms towards her, “Up. Let’s go. I’ll take ye’ home. Ye’ don’t need t’ be here anymore.”

“I don’t wanna go hooooooome. I wanna stay hereeee” the intoxicated girl shook her legs against the tub.

Any other girl and Harry would have just left her be, but he felt something inside of him that compelled him to take care of this girl and see to it himself that she made it home safe and unharmed. He couldn’t bear to think of waking up the next morning and having to listen to one of his fraternity brother’s brag about how good of a shag she was or about how embarrassing it was for her to be that drunk at a party.

“What if I take ye’ t’ get chips on the way?”

//

After about 20 minutes of trying to pressing Y/N to get her to tell him where she lived, Harry was finally able to find her apartment building. He took her through a drive-thru in the sketchy part of town because it was the last place open and he had promised the girl some chips and he was a man of his word. He was reluctant on doing so, seeing as he didn’t want to make this situation any weirder than it already was (him driving home the girl he sat beside in Calculus and only talked to for the duration of the 3 hours per week that they were in class who just so happened to be drunk out of her mind), but his hesitancy quickly left his system when her eyes lit up upon taking a greasy, brown bag filled with the salty snack from his hands.

“You’re my hero, Harry,” Y/N fake-cried (or maybe she was actually crying, Harry wasn’t sure at this point nor would he have been surprised).

“Look at us. Math buddies. Hangin’ out together. Who woulda thought,” she giggled as she stuffed a crispy potato past her lips that were covered in her smudged lipstick. 

Harry chuckled to himself, unsure of what to say to Y/N. He opted to continue driving her home in silence while she munched on her late night snack and sipped on her small cup of water that he insisted she drink all of. She didn’t say anything else either, to which Harry was thankful for.

It took Y/N a bit longer than usual to clank her fingers around her bag to retrieve her keyring, and even longer to figure out which key was the key that would let her into her locked apartment. Harry had done far more than anyone would have, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling like he couldn’t leave her side until she was sleeping peacefully in her bed.

He walked her through her apartment and to her bedroom with one hand hovering over the small of her back in case she lost her balance. Harry wasn’t sure what he’d ever pictured her room to look like, but it suited her, he thought to himself. He noticed some vinyl records in the corner of some of his favorite artists, ones that his friends always made fun of him for listening to. It was a bit messy; there were a few piles of clothes discarded on her floor, but having grown up with his mum and sister his whole life, it led him to believe she had probably been frantic trying to find something to wear to the party at his frat house and just neglected to pick up her mess before she left.

“Ye’ want to take ye’ dress off or somethin’?” Harry asked her.

“Harry, I am NOT having sex with you,” Y/N mumbled as she plopped down onto her fluffy bed.

“‘s not wha’ I meant. Where are do you keep ye’ pajamas? That dress is gonna leave ya sore in the mornin’ if ye’ sleep in it.”

Seeming content with his answer, she tilted her head in the direction of her dresser.

“Middle drawer.”

Harry left her side for a split second while he rifled through her clothes and returned with an oversized university t-shirt that Harry also owned himself. He unfolded it and laid it in her lap.

“NO peeking,” the girl insisted, to which Harry held his hands up in surrender and turned his back to face the corner of her room.

He could hear her struggling to get out of her clothes, but he didn’t dare spin back around in the chance that he saw her undressing and it caused any more strain in their already confusing arrangement. His mind was already flooded with how awkard it would be in the morning when she woke up and realized he had been inside of her home. How she would react when she saw him in class on Monday and whether or not she would yell at him for crossing the line. Really, all he wanted was to make sure she was alright.

Harry was pulled from his thoughts when Y/N called his name in that voice that he adored so much.

“I’m stuck.”

“Can I turn around and help ye’?” Harry treaded lightly.

“Pleaaaaase,” she slurred.

Harry was greeted by the sight of Y/N tangled up in the straps of her dress, not even having been able to pull it over her body. He couldn’t even count the number of times he’d undressed women in the past and how it came as second nature to him when fooling around, but this time, he was beyond nervous. His fingers hesitated to even graze over her bare skin, to untangle her arms from the complicated fabric that trapped her. She was wearing a mismatched bra and underwear, which seemed very much like Y/N’s personality, he thought to himself. Of course, he wasn’t going to deny that she looked incredible underneath her clothes and he wished he was seeing her like this under different circumstances, but that wasn’t what mattered now.

Trying his hardest not to stare, he quickly guided Y/N’s head through the hole of the t-shirt and helped her put her arms through to avoid her getting stuck in her own clothes again. The material fell down below her thighs, so that only the very bottom of her bum was visible to him. God, she looked beautiful.

“Harry,” she whispered to him, as if she were afraid someone would overhear.

“Yes?”

“Why are you being so nice to me? Is it because I help you in Calculus all of the time?”

“I’m actually not tha’ bad at Calculus, Y/N,” Harry snickered to himself as he searched around her bed for her cell phone charger, “’M quite good at it, really.”

“Then why do you always ask me about the homework every time I come in?” she pushed as she watched him pull her phone out of her bag once more and plug it up to the power source.

“Don’t know,” Harry shrugged, “Just like talking to ye’ I guess.”

“Okayyyyyyyyyyyy. If it’s not that, then why are you here? We’re not friends.”

She was still far too intoxicated to comprehend exactly what was going on right now, but the fact that she was starting to sober up and form cohesive sentences was making Harry antsy. 

He figured he had overstayed his welcome and that it was time to bug off before she started to ask anymore questions. That, and he wasn’t sure he was able to answer any more of her questions.

“Just didn’t feel like waking up t’ ye’ passed out in my bathroom floor is all. I’m gonna go now, do ye’ want me to get ye’ anything?” Harry lied as he swiped his thumbs under her eyelashes to wipe away the black smudges under her eyes the best that he could.

“Nope,” she responded with a pop of her lips before crawling back into the comfort of her bed.

She seemed to fall asleep almost immediately, to which Harry took that as his cue to leave. He backed out quietly, shutting the door behind him and tip-toeing down her hallway. He knew it was weird to rummage through her kitchen, but he felt compelled to make sure she would be taken care of when she woke in the morning. 

Harry discarded the wrapper from their little chip excersion into her bin, and filled up a glass of water and placed it on her counter. On his first try, he’d managed to find her medicine cabinet and sat a bottle of pain reliever beside the cup, knowing good and well that she’d need a handful of the small pills when she got up. 

He decided to check on her one last time before he buggered off for real this time, wanting to double check that she hadn’t choked on her own vomit and died whilst he was in her kitchen snooping about. She probably fine and dead to the world by now, but he wanted one last look at her before he went.

As he’d expected, she was perfectly fine. Her hair was tangled all around her head in a messy nest and small, adorable little snores left her parted lips as she slept. He could just barely make out her underwear-clad bum sticking out from the blanket, in which Harry found to be heart-warming for some reason. The girl that had taunted his brain for months and was seemingly untouchable to him looked so incredibly human at this moment.

Running a ringed hand through his now greasy, chocolate curls, he felt his mission was complete and left her alone to sleep and locked her door on his way out. It made Harry’s heart twinge knowing he’d most likely never see her like this again.

When Y/N woke the next day (very well into the afternoon, might she add), she felt strange. She was struggling to remember exactly what happened to her last night having just woken up, but what she did know that she had a headache from hell. 

As she drug herself out of bed to do the only thing she knew for certain would cure her hangover which was cook a large breakfast for only herself, she noticed a glass of water and pain medicine sitting on her counter by her coffee pot. The events of last night were murky, and she barely remembered what happened after her fourth drink, but she was almost positive she now recalled someone else being in her apartment with her.

She was uncertain, but had an inkling that, for some reason, it was the boy she sat beside in Calculus.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 506

STAY AT HOOOOOOOME!!!!!

Ok, now that that’s out of the way... I kind of liked this episode. Which surprised me. Because usually I find myself neutral at best. But, considering how much I’ve hated disliked the last few seasons, I guess that feeling mostly neutral means this season has been better? The bar is low, y’all.

Could 1000% still use more Claire though. And more Jamie and Claire. And yes I know I’m saying that in the recap for an episode where the two of them bang.

I said what I said.

The title card’s powder blocker thingy looks like a plague doctor mask. We should bring those back. I found a box that had a bunch of them in it in the closet at my office once. That was weird. Also, stay the fuck at home and 6′ away from people if you have to go out on a supply run or take a walk.

Ooo, a flashback! I miss Scotland.

“Whom do I address, sir?” “I am Samuel Torrington,” said the guy who is most def *not* Samuel Torrington.

I know I shouldn’t laugh because of what’s about to happen, but looool at the girl for stepping in the literal one spot of mud.

Well that was dumb. Why the fuck would you run in between your dad and the guy he’s clearly gonna shoot?

I mean, it’s super sad, I guess. But also hella dumb.

Ah, a lavender pillow. Yes, I know it’s from the book. But between this and the BJR stuff, it’s like, do they know other smells exist?

But yeah, guess I shouldn’t talk since I have lavender hand soap, lavender lotion, lavender tea and a lavender candle.

It’s the best smell.

Ok, I get why Murcasta can’t be endgame. That was a good decision. But including Innes BeCaUsE tHe BoOk is dumb af. They got to the right decision to break up Murcasta, but for the wrong fucking reason.

Like, seriously though, can we please take a moment to appreciate how dumb this is? Like, book!Innes is from Ardsmuir. He’s been part of the squad. He’s basically one of Jamie’s most trusted friends. And he marries Jocasta. Show!Innes is literally some dude we’ve never heard of until last week because the fucking writers were like oh, Jocasta has to marry someone named Duncan Innes. Guess we should make that happen, out of the blue, for no other reason. Lazy idiots...

Jocasta has better handwriting than I do and I can fucking see what I’m doing.

Also lol at her straight up ignoring Roger saying that Jemmy won’t take her money.

Cut to Jemmy crying about the fact that he is now a participant in chattel slavery. I feel you, Jem.

Oh, it’s a cold? Ok fine, but also the whole chattel slavery thing.

ADSOOOOO! Such a good lil floofer! Look how nice he is, bringing them that excellent bug! WHO’S A GOOD KITTY? YOUUU ARE!

I really like Claire’s necklace. Also Claire’s neck. Also Claire’s collarbones. Also Claire. Can we have more Claire please? And less manpain in general?

D’awww, Lord John Grey the awkward gay. GIVE HIM AN APPROPRIATE BOYFRIEND ALREADY, YOU COWARDS.

Tryon is such a fucking douche. So is Quincy Arbuckle.

Well, it might not prevent tumultuous and riotous assembly, but not hanging out in groups larger than 10 sounds like a greAT FUCKING IDEA RIGHT NOW.

STAY AT HOOOOOOOOOOOOME. (If you are able to, and if you have to go to work, WASH YOUR HAAAAAAAAAAAANDS.)

Fergus, Marsali and Bree standing around this room being disappointed with Roger is A Mood™.

Team Give Fergus and Marsali More to Do

Oh, you’ve never been comfortable in your big fancy mansion? Poor you. *plays the world’s smallest violin*

News spreads slowly in/from the backcountry except, apparently, Claire’s medical advice.

Claire Fraser said reproductive rights!!! *ups monthly donation to Planned Parenthood*

The casting for Wylie is fucking perfect. Like kudos to the casting folks again.

I cared more about the Regulator shit in the show than the book because Murtz, but all the “Oh it’s happening! JK, it’s not! JK, it is!” that they took from the book is making me care less about it. Just happen already or fuck off.

Yes, I know it’s gonna happen next week.

Roger shoveling shit makes me happy. Because it’s gross and I do not like Roger.

“You keep shoveling your shit.” -- The Fandom Bree

Wylie should be a caricature with how fucking terrible he is, but let’s be real. We've all run into a guy like that.

Oh, Claire’s rings.

I did some mental gymnastics years ago to try to wrap my brain around why Claire would still wear an emotionally abusive piece of shit’s Fred’s ring. And the fact that the books and the show are like nope, she just likes Fred, drives me up a fucking wall every time.

“He must have been quite the man to inspire such devotion after all these years.” “Nah, he was an asshole. A complete and utter piece of shit. And instead of going with that and all the complexities it brings, we continue to gaslight the audience that he was a Good Dude. Instead of using the ring as a symbol of something more than fucking Fred, we just keep on pretending he didn’t suck.”

I hate everyone involved with refusing to acknowledge how shitty Fred was.

There is literally only one smuggler in the Carolinas.

DO NOT GO WITH THE CREEPY MAN TO A SECOND LOCATION. CLAIRE, THIS IS BEING A WOMAN 101. NEVER GO WITH A CREEP TO A SECOND LOCATION.

“I get a biblical plague.” You get what you deserve, Rog.

Jamie, chill with the extra testosterone. Just punch the bro or something.

Also don’t fucking blame the victim, asshole.

Literalol at Bree showing the women her like stick and sheet fan thing and then cut to all the people with just little squares, barely doing anything.

“Don’t stop! Keep your fires going!” *everyone stops and just stares at the bugs*

Gonna go ahead and take this time to remind folks that’s it’s fucking gross to get married on a plantation. Don’t do that thing.

I know a guy who is like proud of the fact that he’s an asshole. He talks about it like it’s one of his defining traits. This scene with Wylie being like “buddy, I love my shitty reputation” reminds he of that guy. I cannot fucking stand that guy.

*ignores Claire’s feelings about Fred’s dumb ring and headcanons in my own reasons instead because I cannot even with this nonsense anymore*

Ah, the Lindsays like Roger now. I still do not like Roger.

I fucking love this whole Murcasta scene. Can we get one of these for Jamie and Claire? I miss them having big sweeping scenes that have time to breathe and unfold and all the good shit like Murcasta gets here.

The show keeps trying to deny it, but scenes like this are where it’s strongest. But it refuses to accept that this is its lane and keeps trying to go elsewhere.

I miss Jamie and Claire.

I miss the MacKenzies.

I wanna give Jocasta a hug. She’s still trash for enslaving people, though.

Maria Doyle Kennedy is a goddamn treasure. Seriously, her casting was the best choice the show made in years.

That and saving Murtz, of course.

So fucking glad they cut the creepy-ass foot thing.

Jamie, you’re drunk, but read the fucking room. Claire’s right. Just because she says shit from the future all the time doesn’t negate the fact that she’s right about you right now. Also, seriously? You’re taking *this* opportunity to call her out?

Buddy deserved that slap.

Look, I’m always down for the Frasers to fuck. More Fraser fucking, I say. But this is just another instance like their fight at Lallybroch where the fight itself is never actually resolved like it should be. They just fuck about it and magically everything is ok again. Le sigh.

Murcasta gets a big long scene with time to breathe and talk through everything and it’s riveting af. But Jamie and Claire never get that anymore and it pisses me off tbh.

Stop shoehorning in book lines! She can’t see shit through all the skirts and stuff!

I miss the Lallybroch ring. What did they ever end up doing with it? It’s floating around somewhere.

Bonnet is so evil to 11 about fucking everything that it makes him boring. We get it. You’re a bad guy. Do you also have a tiny dick or something that you’re overcompensating for?

Can we please wrap this Bonnet shit up this season? I swear if they drag it out as long as they do in the books I’m gonna be rull annoyed.

Ok so now the war is actually gonna for real happen and I’m like legit out of fucks to give about it because Murtz aside, they’ve done the “it’s coming, jk!” fake out too many times...

Can they try to hang Murtz instead? Because I swear spending half a season with emo!Roger is cruel and unusual punishment.

[kate-sinclaire]

the baby announcement (maxwell x mc)

Author Note: An inspired scene that stems from my love of New Girl. I honestly couldn’t NOT write this. Anyhow. Here we go. This takes place after my last fiction. If you want to read that, it will be attached below:

hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you (maxwell x mc)

Book: The Royal Heir/The Royal Romance

Pairing: Maxwell x MC (Emily Beaumont)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Emily and Maxwell continue to try for an heir while the gang becomes over protective of their mom to be.

NOTE/WARNING: This piece contains potential triggers, such as pregnancy concerns and issues. Please take care in reading if this is a trigger for you.

Tags: @itsbrindleybinch

Word Count: 1432

Comment or message if you’d like to be tagged in future Maxwell fics/TRH/TRR fics.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios (minus, for the most part, Emily), I’m just borrowing them. Some events, however, may not be canonical, rather imaginative scenarios. I also do not own the image. Gif found here.

--

“Emily, please be careful,” Bertrand sighed, pulling out the chair as the young duchess sat at the dining table. She looked up at him, eyes narrowed. Maxwell suppressed a scoff. He raised his hands in mock surrender. “I apologize, being a father has made me...protective.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not pregnant yet. Coffee please?” she asked, looking up at Drake expectantly. He pursed his lips together and stared at her cautiously.

"How about some orange juice," he offered slowly. "Or um...water? You like water."

"Drake," she warned, her voice growing impatient.

"I made hot cocoa!" Hana sang from behind him, placing her famous marshmallow mountain topped hot chocolate in front of Emily as an all too innocent smile played on her lips.

Emily took a tentative sip, keeping her eyes set on her best friend. "That was convenient timing," she murmured, though she couldn't hide her blissful expression as her entire body warmed.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Hana replied casually, walking behind the kitchen counter. "I made Maxwell one, as well."

"God, you're the best," Maxwell grinned, eagerly taking hold of the matching campfire mug.

“You guys, I’m not pregnant yet. You don’t need to worry about me so much. I fought off deadly assassins.”

“With help,” Olivia chimed in with a smirk as she entered the room. “But never mind that. Emily, would you like to accompany me out of this godforsaken cabin? I promise that I’ll let you breathe all by yourself.”

Without a second’s hesitation, Emily joined her by the door and bit back a grin at the worried exchanges. “That sounds lovely, Olivia, thank you.”

“I don’t-” Drake started.

“I’m not so sure-” Liam murmured.

“I feel like-” Hanna winced.

“Enough!” Olivia exclaimed, slamming her palm on the table, sending echoes throughout the kitchen. The entire group startled. “Emily Beaumont is a strong, self-sufficient woman. She does not need to be coddled like an infant just because she is trying to have one.” Emily stared at her, stunned, and then looked back at the group with resolve.

“Thank you, Olivia. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go run errands with my best friend.”

“Well I wouldn’t go that far-”

“Bye gang!” Emily grinned, grabbing Olivia by the arm and closing the door behind them. Everyone exchanged concerned glances.

“Is it just me or is Olivia really scary when she’s protective?” Maxwell muttered after a moment of silence, taking another drink of his cocoa. Everyone collectively nodded.

--

After walking a bit, Emily stopped and let out a sigh. Olivia glanced at her curiously, stepping beside her. “Can I be honest about something?”

“As opposed to what you’ve been doing since I met you?” Olivia smirked. Emily rolled her eyes in response and Olivia sighed with a nod.

“I’m scared that I’m not going to get pregnant.”

“What?” Olivia asked, genuinely shocked. “Emily, you can’t be serious. You just started trying.”

“Well, it’s been a...a while. And everyone has been treating me like I should be pregnant by now. I notice everyone’s worried glances, especially other nobles’. Last time I saw the paparazzi, I got hounded about my fears regarding the pregnancy or...lack thereof. And honestly, I’m kinda freaking out a little bit.” Emily’s eyes started watering and she quickly wiped away any trace of her tears. “God, sorry, I didn’t think I was going to break down.”

“You just started trying, Emily. I don’t know if you remember this, but Liam asked you to produce an heir a month ago. Do you realize how sudden that is?”

“I guess...”

“And it takes some couples longer than others to conceive. It’s not abnormal for you to be experiencing this kind of thing.”

“But we try so much,” Emily sighed. “Like...so much.”

“Okay.”

“No, really. So much.”

“I get it.”

“I just feel like if it isn’t going to happen now, maybe it won’t ever.” 

“I don’t know what you’re going through, Emily, but I can promise you this: no matter what happens, you have...” she winced and swallowed hard. “Amazing, loving friends who will be there for you no matter what. Including me. And you have...Maxwell. Who I’m sure loves you very much.”

“He does,” Emily sighed, wiping her eyes again.

“You don’t have anything to worry about. Okay?” Olivia’s voice softened for the first time in...ever since Emily had known her. She sniffled and nodded, wrapping her arms around her neck. Olivia let out a startled sound before hesitantly returning the hug. “Now, let’s forget about babies for a bit.”

“Where are we going?”

“The only place I can go after comforting someone: shooting.”

--

Meanwhile, back in Valtoria...

Maxwell let out a sigh as he played with Pip and Pup absentmindedly in the sun room, his gaze roaming to the mountaintops ahead of them. It was weird being away from his wife at all, these days, and it felt...lonely, even though he was with his friends and two adorable, cuddly creatures. Drake nursed a whiskey over by the telescope and looked over at Liam who stood reading a novel at one of Emily’s bookshelves.

“This is boring,” Max finally said.

“Thanks,” Drake replied with a scoff.

“No, I mean. Who even were we before Emily came into our lives?”

“Bored,” Drake agreed.

“Incomplete,” Hanna nodded.

“Lost,” Liam added, something flickering over his expression. Something Maxwell chose to aptly ignore.

“Exactly. And now here we are without her and we’re nothing. She’s the glue that holds us all together.”

“I think that’s a little dramatic,” Drake replied. “But you’re right. It’s not the same without her. And it’s our fault. We scared her away with our worrying.”

“You guys did. For the record, I’ve been a rock through this.” Max smirked, prompting a collective eye roll. “But yeah. It sucks. Maybe we should call her and apologize.”

“We can’t, she left her phone,” Hanna pointed at the table.

“What?” Panic began to race through him. “What if she gets into trouble? What if I get into trouble? I’m always in trouble!”

“Maxwell, calm down,” Liam laughed. “She’s fine. She’s perfectly capable of handling herself. And she has Olivia with her, remember?”

“That almost makes it worse!”

“Maxwell, she’s fine-”

As if on cue, Emily’s phone rang. Maxwell cautiously approached it and shook his head. “I can’t answer.”

“I will,” Hanna smiled dutifully. “Hello?”

“Hello, Lady Beaumont? This is Doctor Ramirez. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”

“WHAT?!” Hanna squealed. “Oh my god!”

“Wait, who is this?”

“WHO IS IT?” Maxwell practically screamed.

“This is Hanna Lee. Sorry, can you pretty please call back so I can let Maxwell answer?”

“Why isn’t Emily answering her phone?” the doctor asked, confused. Then she sighed. “Okay, I’ll call back. Wait, why can’t I just talk to him now?”

Hanna hung up and grinned, handing the phone back to Maxwell. “I think you’ll want to answer whoever calls next.” He squirmed under her constant smile.

“Okay...”

Sure enough, the phone rang again and he winced. “Hello?”

“Maxwell Beaumont?”

“The very same.”

“This is Doctor Ramirez. I called to tell you congratulations! Your wife is pregnant.”

“EMILY IS PREGNANT?!”

--

After a long day of archery and blade throwing, Emily followed Olivia back to Valtoria with a renewed sense of self. “That was exactly what I needed, thank you.”

“Violence is what everyone needs,” Olivia nodded, knowingly. Emily laughed and jogged ahead. “Wow, you’re happy.”

“I am! We never get to hang out.”

“Yeah, it’s almost as if someone crafts that perfectly...”

“You know, you talk a big game but I think you like hanging out with me.”

“Think what you like, Emily,” but a smile played at Olivia’s lips.

When they both got back, Emily walked in with a grin. “Honey, I’m hoooome.” Silence. Olivia and her exchanged a look and then she called again. “Maxwell, I’m hooooooome.” Still nothing. She glanced down and noticed rose petals trailing from the kitchen to the bedroom. Confused, she followed and her eyes widened at the sight of Maxwell with three bouquets in hand along with about a dozen others scattered throughout the room.

“Max..?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“What...?” she looked around and then he shook his head with a grin.

“We’re pregnant. You’re pregnant.”

Realization dawned on her as she stepped back. “We’re...pregnant...”

“We’re pregnant!” he pulled her into his arms and spun her around. Emily laughed as the tears came down her face. “Doctor Ramirez called and Hanna picked up. Then she called again and I picked up.”

“Oh my god, we’re pregnant.”

“We’re pregnant.”

[courage-need-not-be-remembered]

Things my friend group has said

Friend: If this lands on anything other than gay imma be pissed

---

Friend: *slides on gym floor in front of me* slindin’ into those dm’s be like

*me and my other friend start lightly kicking him*

---

Friend: If you get milk spilled on you don't cry and leave the table

---

*1 one the threesome members already at table* *other two walk up* Me: NONONO I WANNA BE MIDDLE TODAY

---

Friend: Did you know (my name) is into *pause* jewish little boys

Me: one, no I am not and two, you have the scat fetish

---

Friend: *out of the blue* if you had to pick one person at this table to shit in your mouth who would it be?

---

Friend: *also out of the blue* if you had to give one person in the group a bj who would it be, girls count.

Me and other friend look at each other: we chose each other plus galaxy hoodie

---

Friend: so are you guys officially a threesome?

Me: yes

---

Galaxy hoodie: them t h i g h s

---

one friend repeatedly gets bbq sauce and milk shot at here every fricken day

---

*Friend and I both like cuphead*

Me: i have a switch

Friend: can you get cuphead on it

Me:no…

Friend: then you better shut

---

Me and my two other friends: *quoting a sovietwomble video in Russian accent* Motherfucker I will report you to my boyfriend!! Do you know who my boyfriend is?? ITS PUTIN!!

---

Friend: *kissed me* i'm at 20 points now

Me: *flustered* hey so crazy thought can we not have this be a game- just a thing we do

---

No one:

Friend group: HEY LET'S ALL SWITCH HOODIES AND JACKETS

Everyone in group: *simultaneously pulling off hoodies*

---

No one:

Friend: *yeets oranges over the gym as hard as he can*

ALSO

No one:

Friend: *goes to other side of gym and yeets them from there that way they land by/in random people's friend groups*

---

*someone sits in the threesome's table spot*

Shortest of the threesome: *grabs him and fake chokes him* I WILL GIVE YOU TEN SECONDS TO MOVE

Me: *silent tears for my hero*

---

Our table is secluded from the other tables by a row of bushes

Other tables: chatter from groups of kids

Our table from behind bushes: WEST VIRGINIA IIIAAA TAKE ME HOOOOOOOME

---

Me: *pulls hoodie up on best friend*

Me: *does not think whatsoever and i regret this for the rest of my life* Hey guys she looks like a muslim

Friend: *looks like she might die and points to the girl next to us wearing a hijab*

Me: Internally panics *Oh sweet Jesus please forgive me for I have sinned a great sin, for I have been a terrible person*

At least I learned from this to keep my mouth shut

---

Me: From now on i’m going to read the bible and replace the words father, god, and Jesus with daddy

My friend: *pulls all four minecraft handbooks from his backpack* you mean these?

---

Me: *quoting Cyanide* WINNER I AM THE CHAMPION *screeching while violently shaking my head*

---

Friend: YOU WILL WAKE UP ONE DAY AND YOUR BIRD WILL BE NICE AND CRISPY

Me: YOU WILL COME HOME TO A NICELY FILLETED SNAKE

[thedragonsfate]

I'm not mad btw I just think it's funny

rofl when u post abt thinking u might be a lesbian and a fucking gold star lesbian comes out here to tell u that actually ur not and that you don't know what you're talking abt bc you're clearly bisexual if you relate to a document centered around deconstructing if you're actually attracted to men

[thepixiepaige]

IM HOWLING AT THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOON I WANT TO BRING ITTO hOOOOOOOME BUT I DONT WANNA WHALE IVE LASTED SO LONG GENSHIN WHYYYYYYY

Maybe it's not whaling though if it's JUST to get itto. There's a set limit here. Maybe I'm dolphining. Orcaing because I'm gunna do it AGAIN to get Raiden AND Ayato.

[hurl-a-can]

For the fandom asks: 001 Lord of the Rings 003 Anders from DA Pretty please ^^

Lord of the Rings 

(I’m more of a Silmarillion fan - but you said LotR, so let’s do LotR…:-))

Favorite character: Boy, that’s tough. OK, I’m gonna say Elrond. Survivor from the 1st age - and there’s that Fëanorian connection. Or maybe Treebeard. Because hooooooom, motherfucker.

Least Favorite character: I don’t think I have one, to be honest. I could pick a few in the movies, but in the books? Nope. Either I love them or I love to hate them.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): I’m not much of a shipper when it comes to Tolkien’s legendarium, not as far as romantic or sexual ships go. I’m all about brOTPs and friendships when it comes to Tolkien, with very few exceptions. I guess Aragorn & Arwen is kind of aesthetically appealing due to its connection to Beren/Lúthien and Thingol/Melian, its symbolism and the bittersweet note that it ends on, but I’m nowhere near as emotionally invested in those two as I am in the friendship between Legolas and Gimli or in whatever the fuck is going on between Sam and Frodo (and no, I don’t read that relationship as romantic or sexual and never will). 

Character I find most attractive: If we go by headcanons I have for the book, then it’s gonna be Elrond, Faramir, Legolas, Glorfindel or Aragorn. (In the movies it is totally a tie between Elrond and Saruman. And Haldir.)

Character I would marry: Can I say Elrond again? Either him…or Samwise Gamgee.

Character I would be best friends with: Frodo, Gimli or Legolas, I think. And Pippin.

A random thought: I think Legolas’s hair is actually light brown. I also suspect he’s into shrooms.

An unpopular opinion: The long descriptive passages, the songs and ‘Concerning Hobbits’ are fucking awesome.

My Canon OTP: Like I said. Not much of a shipper when it comes to Tolkien and especially not when it comes to LotR. Anyway, I’m gonna say Aragorn and Arwen because it’s kinda important.

My Non-canon OTP: Don’t have one.

Most Badass Character: Éowyn!!!

Most Epic Villain: Old Man Willow. Ha! (Didn’t expect that, did you?) OK, just kidding. Old Man Willow is quite a frightening entity in his own right, but I’ll just be boring and say Sauron. Doesn’t give me quite as many chills as the Nazgul and isn’t quite as cool as the Balrog… But he’s definitely the most epic.

Pairing I am not a fan of: I’m indifferent to most of them. If the fanfic is good, I’ll enjoy it, regardless of the pairing. 

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I’m fine with the bookverse characters. I’d appreciate if Eowyn maintained more of her edge even after meeting Faramir, but I’m not super salty over it. As far as the movieverse goes… I guess I can live with Legolas and Gimli getting reduced to Mr Lean Mean Killing Machine and Mr Comic Relief (it kinda works in the film), I’m fine with how Faramir is handled (for the most part) and I get the reasoning behind most of the changes made to the characters and the narrative. But I’ll never forgive Peter Jackson for what he did to Denethor.

Favourite Friendship: Probably Legolas and Gimli.

Character I most identify with: Bilbo.

Character I wish I could be: I wanna be Legolaaaaas!

Anders

How I feel about this character: Conflicted. I’m absolutely NOT a fan of what he did. I get why he did it, though. As angry as I get with him at the end of the story, I’m still much angrier with Isabella at the end of Act II (I sometimes wonder why SHE doesn’t get anywhere near as much bad rap as Anders…at least Anders did what he did for noble reasons).

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Hawke, Fenris (if it’s handled well - which ain’t easy given how unlikely that ship is), HoF (if he lives)He’s not one of my favourites though, so I don’t really seek out Anders related content much.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: His relationship with HoF - and definitely his friendship with Varric. Or with Hawke (if Hawke isn’t romancing him - which, in most of my PTs, he isn’t).

My unpopular opinion about this character: Is there such a thing as unpopular/popular opinion where Anders is concerned? I mean, no matter what you say, *someone* is always gonna get terribly pissed off. (I think both Anders fans and Anders haters need to calm the fuck down).

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: No particular wishes for Anders. Well, maybe one: I guess I would like to see how the whole spirit possession thing affects Anders as a Warden. What becomes of Justice/Vengeance when the Calling comes?  

Favorite friendship for this character: Hawke.

My crossover ship: Don’t have one.

[isiga-inkblood]

Couldn’t Just Leave Her There

ok so this is really just a dumb scribble I did in like an hour give or take a few minutes of type time. I didn’t even edit it. I am also posting a link to AO3 for easier reading. Its in 2nd person in true me fashion 

I guess this is a the Egos are their own people AU

Characters/Ship: Jackieboy Man x Marvin the Magnificent

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Cuteness, one eyed animal

Be Jackieboy Man Aw yes! You are now Jackieboy Man flying about the city in search of people or animals in peril! The city though is rather quiet tonight you've stopped a couple muggings and escorted a young lady down from a building and to the hospital, hopefully she gets better soon. But that is all the action you've seen tonight. Its almost four am now and you're about to just up and call it a night before you hear something below you. Oh lovely dark alleyway, perfect place for a rough and tumble. Not! Marvin's rogue spell gave you the power of flight but it definitely didn't give you night vision so really and truly screw fighting in dark alleys. Too bad its part of the job though. You swoop down landing with a clatter onto the top of a dumpster fists up and ready to brawl but there's nobody there. Your hands fall away and you scan the area but sure enough there's absolutely nobody around. Just a cardboard box...that's moving. You toe your way off the dumpster's lid and crouch beside the box. It lets out a curious sound and patters around in front of you. You pull the box up to be greeted by one very blue green eye and blueish black fur. She's shivering and skinny as all hell, fur matted and greasy as an oil spill. Yeah you scoop her up faster than you like to admit. The only thing you've possibly scooped up faster than this cat is your boyfriend. You're in the air and flying home in record time with the little thing stashed in your suit cradled against your chest. Hopefully he doesn't mind the new pet. As per the usual you can see small sparkles through the window and a few things floating around, looks like he might be making you food to come home to. He's really too good for you oh but you will so take it you love your little magician to pieces. "Gonna give ya a great new home lil' lady. Marvin's got a soft spot for kitties and every magician needs one right...wait maybe that was witches...Whatever, you'll love him regardless." She just sort of tilts her head at you her one eye glossy and tired looking as you open the door. "Kitten I'm hooooooome!" An assortment of things clatter to the floor as you seem to crack his concentration. A couple books, the broom, and a ladle meet the tiled floor in the kitchen and cause you to receive a chest full of startled claws. You shout out a curse and hear slipper clad feet bounding for you. Just seeing him makes the pain fade a bit. He's free of his usual mask scars and bright cerulean eyes on display, he's clad in only your shirt, a gag Jackieboy Man one from Chase, tiny boy shorts and pink kitty slippers. But he's kinda looking right through you even as your eyes wander his exposed thighs. "Is that a cat, Jackie." Its not a question its a statement he knows damn well its a cat that's peering out of your suit with her claws currently in your skin. Of course you slid her in under your Kevlar armor and right up against your skin, its warm and if someone were to attack on your way home she'd be safe. Too bad though that means she has direct access to your very tender flesh and she seems far too spooked to wanna let go. Thank everything for those soft hands though, free of his usual gloves his skin is warm and smooth from lotions and currently coaxing tiny claws out of your nipples. He manages after a couple minutes and scoops her out of her hiding spot cooing quietly. "Oh my Merlin, she weighs nothing. And she smells like that shady bar downtown." He boops her on the nose with his fingertip and she just stares at him as he pets her. "How about a bath and some food, hmm? I'm sure I've got some fish lying around somewhere." You can't help but smile and follow those hips into the kitchen partially unzipping your suit along the way. She migrates on shaky paws to his shoulder where she settles while her perch resumes his hand flicking. More pink sparkles fill the air as he sneaks his head into one of your cabinets. The broom starts up again sweeping around you, the cook books begin floating again near the stove, and the ladle goes back to stirring the stew that's steaming. "Aw huzzah tuna, here we go this should go down easy. Stew's done too, Jackie. Its cold out tonight figured it would taste good." "I know something else that would taste real good tonight." He jumps and so do the books, nearly falling into the stew as you start bowling some up. You grin and wiggle your eyebrows at him as his face goes rosy red. His fingers trace over his scars nervously, it makes you a bit sad hopefully one day he'll see himself the way you see him. Its not like you aren't...intimate. No not at all you guys go at it like rabbits most nights but it certainly hasn't been without the mask for long. You never minded though, you'd just kissed around it and over it as if it were his scared up skin. You didn't make it a deal at all and one day it just came off. His fingers were shaky and his eyes were watery as if he were afraid you'd bolt as soon as you saw how deep the slashes are and just how much of his face got burned the day he got his magic. He has that same look now and it breaks your heart a little, but, you remind yourself, he's healing and you know it. The fact that he now walks about your home without it on is proof that he's improving no matter how slowly. He's come leaps and bounds but could use the extra help for his psych when you're out on patrol. That might have been an extra reason for bringing the small feline home. "You're missing an eye...all scared up too. Got in a scuffle, didn't you?...Its ok I did too...guess we're one in the same huh?" He's feeding the cat tiny bites with his finger making sure she doesn't scarf down too much and get sick. Its a precious sight that pulls at your heart while you yourself all but inhale his beef stew and moan into the bowl. That pulls a giggle from him, a sing song, snort filled, honest to goodness giggle that you love to the damn ends of the earth. "That good? Its nothing special, Jackie." All you can do is nod and let your eyes roll back. Weakly, you push one of the books toward him in a show of retaliation at his putting himself down. You miss terribly, but the cat looks up at it for a moment. You're shoveling and she's nibbling and its so surreal and quiet that you almost miss him talking again. "- Sam?" He looks up at you his mint bangs ruffled from fidgeting with them and eyes filled with stars...yeah you missed what he said. You just cock your head at him and he lets out a little chuckle again. "So hungry, horny, and tired you can't hear very well, love? I asked what you thought of Sam." You manage to swallow despite your sputter at his accusation of you being too horny to hear right and set your now empty bowl on the counter. "Sam?" "Yeah for her. Ya, know her name? I'm not just gonna call her cat." You're just nodding trying to process the fact that he's 100% down with just, keeping her. No discussion needed he's already decided. And you couldn't be happier about it. You nod vigorously and get yourself a brighter than the moon smile. He scoops her up again and lets her settle on her newfound shoulder perch. Its like she was meant to be here, like a familiar for him. "Gonna need your help getting her clean, the feline madam is probably not too fond of water."---- Almost half an hour later you finally have her...Sam, in the tub. You ended up having to keep your Kevlar on so she didn't scratch you up too bad and in the end you wound up with the best view. Marvin's now sitting in the cozy basin holding her carefully to his very bare chest and you'd be a big fat liar if you tried to claim it wasn't doing it for you. He looks so damn adorable scrubbing this tiny one eyed cat with Dawn and a genuine smile on his face. You just sit on the edge with a towel at the ready shifting about to attempt to hide your half chub since ya know, your beautiful boyfriend is currently completely on display, relaxed, and holding a god damn black cat. The fact that she's black only seems to make her fit better against his pale, scared up skin. A quick gasp is all the warning you or him get, Sam shoots out of the water just as you fall in with a huge splash. You look out over the rim, between your dangling feet, to see her staring at you with one wide eye but she seems alright. Beside you on the other hand Marvin's got both hands over his mouth shoulders shaking and cheeks bright pink as he tries to contain his giggles. "Yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up, kitten." You lift an arm only to find it absolutely caked in bubbles, looks like you took his mint lavender bubble bath down with you. Death to the bubble bath! You hold up the now only half full purple bottle. "I have bested you minty fiend! Justice is served!" He's snorting and holding his gut as you tighten the lid and drop it back into the water. You deem that it can just stay there for now and mange to toe off your boots so you can slink your feet into the water too. You're still completely clothed but you don't really care all you wanna do is flop on top of his naked body. Maybe kiss and lick at the droplets running down his collar bone, trace all those scars with your gloved fingertips. No, bad Jackie, down boy down. But...he does really like your suit. No, Jackie, cat and cuddles tonight. He's still snorting against his fist too which is just cute as hell. "God I love your laugh." That cuts it off instantly and increases the redness by a factor of ten. You don't mind though you just smile and shimmy up his body slotting yourself between his knees. Your head comes to rest against his soft chest, right where the stars that scatter down his arm begin. The ink stands out against his skin about as starkly as Sam does, blacks and pinks and purples, all practically twinkling under your cheek and down the arm attached to one of his wandering hands. His fingers find your hair and make you smile, red and black pattern across the nails running through your own neon strands. Looks like one of the little girls at the hospital got to him enough to get him to let her paint them. "Lil' Lucy, eight year old Lucy, with the strawberry headband. She's getting worse, was really scared of the shots they had to give her today. So Henrik let me let her paint my nails while they poked at her." He pulls one away from your hair to show them to you better and you just smile wider. You love that about him, he goes to the children's hospital every day to do magic shows and face paint for the kids. He often ends up staying way later than he needs to doing things like this for them. He just loves others, just like you. He's afraid of most adults though, so you take care of them and he takes care of the little ones. You take that hand in your own and kiss each knuckle lightly. His pulse flutters under your ear and his body shivers. The water's gone a bit cold and Sam is staring at the two of you her front paws propped up on the edge of the bowl where you previously sat. She's dry for the most part, guess you've been in here for a bit now. You kick the drain lever and hold him as he shivers Sam mewing impatiently. She yawns and hops up on the edge watching you both with a tired gaze. "Didn't I say you'd love him?...yeah I love him too." You give her a quick pet right between the ears before you're standing, bubbles cling to you refusing to let go but you don't care. He squeaks and she purrs as you slip out of the basin and scoop him up. Your suit is drenched dripping down onto the tiles below, and his teeth are clattering but you can fix all that. You beacon Sam and she trots at your feet all the way to your shared bedroom. Dawn is poring through the window but a flick of his hand and a few sparkles fix that, drawing the black out curtains and turning on the fairy lights. He squeals and giggles as you toss his naked body on the bed. Sam bounds up next to him as he bounces like she's lived here all her life. She's settling beside him as you peel off, literally peel off, your suit with a lot of difficulty. It falls to the floor in a heavy heap and his noises cease. You look over your shoulder as your mask finally comes off. He's staring with the blankets pulled up to his nose and pink dusting his skin and he's just so darn cute. You flex and strike a goofy pose. "Like what you see, beautiful?" He chuckles into the fabric and nods with fluttering lashes. You think you might've chocked a bit, he never really acts flirty. Shake it off, Jackie, look he's yawning and Sam is pretty much out by the spell book and quill inked into his hip. You toss on your tiger shorts and lean across the bed to hand him his bunny ones. He barely manages to wiggle them on before he's snuggling into your side. As he drifts so does the magic flitting about the room idly. Things that were out of place slink to their homes, just outside you can hear the floating books slot themselves back onto the bookshelf, and the fairy lights above you slowly dim out as his mind shuts down. But as usual little sparks still float from his fingers every other breath and those stars start to glow with overflow energy from the day. You kiss his burns and the gashes the beer bottle left behind, the bruise like dark marks under his eyes, and finally his nose, always a bit pinker than the rest of him. Sam gives you one last look, eye barely slotted open and practically glowing alongside his magical ink. "You're gonna like it here, lil' lady. Its really magical." You would swear she nods at you but you could just be tired. One last pet to her sends her to sleep at Marvin's hip and pulls a smile to your face. You're glad you just couldn't leave her there.

- Fin -

[simthorium]

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE WAS A REAL MONSTER IN THERE!” Riley shouted at the top of her lungs when they regrouped at the foot of the hill. “I’m never doing anything you tell us to do again, Yesenia,” Ariel said, holding her hands in front of her eyes. “I just wanna go hooooooome!” Gregory sobbed.

“Wait a minute, you guys,” Yesenia said, thinking. “What was the reason we came out here in the first place?” “Because we thought it would be fun,” Ariel said. “Not so fun now.” “No, cus we wanted to follow the big kids,” Yesenia said. “And who haven’t we seen yet today?”

“Pfffffffffffffttttt!!!!” “That was hysterical!” “At least one of them had to have peed their pants!” “You did so good Aiden, oh my god!” “I wish we would’ve recorded that!”

“Sh sh sh,” Alysia said, trying to calm herself down. “Ok, so that was definitely hilarious, but we probably scarred those little babies for life.” “That’s what they get for trailing us,” Aiden laughed. “They’re just little kids though,” she sighed. “They just wanted to have fun. We should go make sure they’re not traumatized, or at least offer them a ride home.”

“So you’re saying it was the big kids that scared us?” Kamaria asked, scratching her head. “Yeah, don’t you get it?” Yesenia said. “They figured out we were gonna follow them, then set up the house to scare us!” “That’s so mean,” Tafari said. “Big kids are the worst,” Gregory grunted.

“Happy Halloween!” Aiden shouted, cackling as he and his sister and cousin trotted down the hill from the haunted house. “You guys feeling alright? Anybody have a heart attack? “You guys are jerks!” Yesenia shouted. “That wasn’t funny!” “Not for you, but it was a pretty good one for us,” Aiden said. “We’re Zarros, it’s our job to play pranks on you guys!” Alysia said.

“Well, it wasn’t a good one,” Tafari said, pouting. “You nearly scared us to death!” “Well, now you know what it’s like to pull a big prank, don’t you kiddo?” Aiden said, crossing his arms. “So when y’all are bigger, you can be the pranksters.” “You guys are just mean,” Kamaria said. Simone rolled her eyes. “I call shotgun,” she said, heading for the car.

“Well, for being such good subjects for our awesome Halloween prank, I’m offering you all immunity,” Alysia said. “Immunity?” the kids repeated. “Yep, from getting in serious trouble with your parents for sneaking out this late at night,” she said. “I’m sure everybody still thinks you’re upstairs at my mom’s house, huh?” “What’s your price?” Yesenia asked. “No price,” Alysia said with a laugh. “Scaring the bejeesus out of you was enough. But, as a peace offering, we agree to drive you all back to the party and help you sneak back in, without ever telling anyone’s parents what happened tonight. Deal?” The kids looked around at each other, whispering for a minute. “Deal,” they said.