#i just wanna die but i'm not gonna do anything

[dollya-robinprotector]

Fuck off nobody like your pathetic loser bias if you like obese that much go kill yo self stop drawing those fatass you pathetic virgin

Hate to break it to you but hating in anon is a pretty pathetic behavior too 😭😭😭

[sga-owns-my-soul]

haha ignore this i need to vent

i'm so fucking done i'm so fucking mad at everyone i'm pissed at my cousin for fucking me over i'm pissed at my clients for being fucking idiots i'm pissed at my city for NEVER HAVING WORKING FUCKING TRANSIT i'm not okay i'm so not fucking okay and i don't even have my fucking headphones bc they fell out of my jacket in my cousins STUPID FUCKING CAR THAT I BASICALLY PAY FOR BUT GOD FORBID SHE DRIVE ME HOME so now i get to spend over 2 hours (after i've spent 3 hours on transit/waiting for her this morning) on public transit to get home WITHOUT my music and my clothes are ruined with cat hair from my clients today so that's fucking great and OF COURSE everything in the fucking city is delayed bc WHY WOULD WE MAKE ANYTHING EASY FOR ME NO ITS FINE ILL JUST FUCKING SUFFER TO MAKE THINGA EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE GODFORBID I GET TO CATCH A FUCKING BREAK

[britneyshakespeare]

you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work

me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Thinking I should update the comm sheet to reflect that I'm not in a dire spot whilst simultaneously being openly trans in florida with the new presidency coming up next month and also having zero in savings

[stabbyfoxandrew]

re: that friend who hasn't responded, as a person who takes too long to respond and then feels really guilty about it, I'd maybe just send a meme or a link you think they'd like. Rather than bringing up that it's been a while, you can both show them you were thinking of them, plus give them a reminder of your message and make it feel less like it's been "too long" for them to respond to you

aghh my problem is i don't really know what to say. at all. like... we used to talk every single day. then sometime last year that dropped to every other day. then a couple times a week. and now it's like... every now and then. and i know friendships die.

but damn. like we've sent each other gifts to each other's houses! you know? i watched her graduate from university on a live stream and cheered for her! :')

at the same time, we've never been the send each other memes type people? like we would talk about our days and what we've been up to. but i'm admittedly a very boring person since i can't Do anything interesting. so idk i guess hearing about the Same Thing constantly is boring.

idk i just feel shitty but i don't know how to fix it or if i should try because i feel like maybe she's just tired of talking to me but is too nice to say it?

[gorkaya-trava]

I really wanna fall asleep and never wake up again

[depoteka]

🥴🥴 i called like 10 people on monday to see their flats/rooms and only managed to set up 2 meetings for tuesday. paid the equivalent of like a couple of days worth of groceries for train tickets because the prices skyrocketed. woke up at the crack of dawn to catch said train. one of the meetings got cancelled and the other one was literally sooooo perfect. a place i've always wanted to live in, the price was perfect and the flatmate nice. just now she messaged me she chose somebody else

[mosspapi]

Gonna b honest. I kinda preferred being actively and pressingly suicidal to whatever the fuck I've got going on now. At least then I knew what I could do to keep myself reasonably safe. Whether I'd do it is another question entirely but at least it was cut-and-dry and made sense. Idek what my brain is doing atp, much less what it needs from me

[nientedal]

I just saw ANOTHER post lamenting this change, so I'm just gonna say "fuck it" and make a how to do the thing post, and if I'm misunderstanding the outrage... lol, this is tumblr, I'm sure someone will tell me.

Currently, if you want to go to a post in the middle of a reblog thread, you have to click the empty space in what I call the reblog header. The reblog header is the space that holds a user's name and reblog details, and on desktop, it turns a different color when you move your cursor over it. It's this space:

It doesn't change colors on mobile, obviously, because no cursor, but I think tapping is a little more intuitive on mobile anyway and afaik this particular thing has been this way here for a while now...? Whatever. Anyway, that's how you get to a mid-thread reblog!

(I actually do kinda like this new setup. It's not perfect, it can be annoying if someone's URL is long or if I accidentally click "Follow" instead of the header space. But overall, the space to click into a prior reblog is bigger now and I like that. I don't think I'll have to worry as much about mouse precision or drowsy coordination issues, which is nice. Maybe I'll be able to use the desktop version more.)

However, this means that in order to see "prev tags," you apparently have to click into the notes view and scroll until you find them. That's annoying for those who want to see them, and I can't blame anyone for being irritated. If you're new here you may be surprised to learn "prev tags" is fairly recent, so my recommendation (if you're looking for an alternative) is to put the actual tags from the user you're reblogging from, instead. This was normal prior to the "prev tags" trend if you wanted to share tags without screenshotting them, and it seems like tumblr has made it super easy now. The mobile app now automatically suggests the previous tags, and on desktop, they show up in a dropdown when you click to tag your post. Personally, I like to put "<-borrowing your tags bc funny" or "<-stole your tags for truth" or something right after, so I don't feel like I'm taking credit for someone else's phrasing. But either way, it's handy for your followers to be able to read the tags you liked without having to click to a different blog.

I'm hoping this particular change will be seen as useful after the rocky adjustment period is over.

All this being said, I personally like these particular changes, but I wish Tumblr would not roll out changes as rapidly as they seem to be recently. Either change everything at the same time or give it a rest, holy shlamoly! I stopped using Facebook because it seemed like every time I opened it, something was different, and it became jarring and uncomfortable to try to use. I'm starting to have a similar feeling about tumblr, and I don't like it.

[navree]

i am going to shoot the domina showrunners in the head i have had enough

[queerstudiesnatural]

ok well. just went to see a neuropsychologist and all she asked me were the standard questions you find in every internet autism test. which i KNOW don't apply to me ("do you find it difficult to infer people's intentions", "do you find it difficult to read between the lines" etc) and like she was literally reading off of her computer and asking me to pick one of the options between "strongly agree" and "strongly disagree" and it's like girl i could have done that at home. sure hope she's not stopping there and that she's not gonna just look at what i said but at the way i said it. idk it irked me that she just pulled up the old (as in outdated and reductive) standardised test on her computer and acted as if those questions would make me question myself like girl i've done this test fifteen times. not only is it not going to tell you anything about me but it's not going to tell you anything about most people. and most autistics. and she did suggest i come back for a more formal and global assessment, but she also kept using the words "cognitive deficit" to describe autism. which i realise is a commonly used term, but it feels reductive idk. so overall i'm not overjoyed with how this went lol.

[fatelcved]

y'all remember when i said maybe cyrillo dies?? i take it back. he's faking his death and retiring to some village by the sea bc i said so uvu

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Lmao y'all ever think about where you should be in life vs where you actually are

[rejoiceandcomplain]

I would like to stop feeling so miserable and anxious all the time!!!! it's starting to feel a bit dire in here!!!!

[vamptastic]

now that i know abt my blood sugar problems i'm thinking back to times as a kid (post-puberty cos it's from the pcos) and it's like ohh this may have been a problem for years. i used to throw up every time i drank an artificial cherry flavored drink and thinking back it wasn't actually every time and i'm guessing it may have been just that i rarely drank or ate things high in sugar so the few cherry-related incidents were hypoglycemia that i formed a false correlation around. i also get sick every time i take a plane ride, like almost immediately upon arriving at my destination or towards the end of the flight, and i think while some of it has just been genuinely being ill from my ass immune system it definitely could also be hypoglycemia from not sleeping or eating enough in advance of or when traveling. i also got into the habit of drinking something with ginger when nauseous which is usually ginger ale bc it's easier than brewing tes and while ginger does just generally help for nausea those bouts of random nausea could definitely be blood sugar and the soda would obviously help with that.

idk it's tough bc i only got tested for this once when i was 13, and they were mostly looking for thyroid problems and only incidentally tested for diabetes/insulin resistance markers, until my shit started getting bad around 17 and i finally got thorough testing. i also wonder if it was worse a year or so before the testing because i went on birth control the year before and with the PCOS being the main cause that could've helped with my blood sugar levels. i don't have enough data and what i do have i don't really know what it means other than that i probably will get diabetes if i don't actively try not to.

just looking back i started getting random spells of dizziness and nausea and hot flashes around age 11 with it progressively getting worse till i started dealing with it around 16 and i wonder if a lot of that illness wasn't from the underlying issue ive had the whole time. some of it was definitely hormones but i think i may have basically just been attributing it all to anything But hypoglycemia because the thought that i could have something as serious as diabetes wasn't even on my radar and i wasn't tracking anything in relation to when i was eating.

like diabetes is a slow process of the pancreas failing, right? i'm oversimplifying but like over time your body stops responding to and/or producing insulin properly. and mine already doesn't respond to insulin properly but just not to an extent where my body is fully incapable of producing and using insulin without external insulin pills/injections. and idk where that puts me in terms of am i or am i not diabetic and should i be dieting like a diabetic person and trying to manage my blood sugar like one or will that just make it worse.

[roaringroa]

bad day again