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#i just wanna die but i'm not gonna do anything
rekino2114 · 3 days
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Fem. Gojo showing you her domain
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You were lying on your bed mindlessly watching videos until you heard a tap on your window. You went in front of it, readying your cursed technique in case it was an enemy. After what happened with toji you were not going to take any more chances. You were very relieved to see it was just your girlfriend. You opened the window and let her come in
"Oh, satori, what are you doing here?"
"What? Can't a girl visit her boyfriend once in a while?"
"I meant why were you outside my window?"
"Your dorm is on the second floor, and I just got back from a training session. No way I'm gonna do all those stairs"
"It's like two flights, and you thought floating was easier?"
"Hey I got my technique I'm gonna use it"
"Whatever, anyway so why did you wanna visit?"
"Oh yeah, I got something super cool to show you"
She smiled brightly and pointed at herself in a dramatic manner
"Guess who just perfected her domain expansion?"
"....For real?"
"For real real, it took training and a lot of mochis to power up but I finally did it"
"That's so cool, tori. domain expansions are the peak of jujutsu, I'm so proud of you"
"Well, of course I'd be able to do it sooner or later, I am the strongest after all but thanks for the praise"
"Don't mention it"
"Soooo are you ready to see it or what?"
"Won't it hurt me?"
"Nah, it's a non lethal domain.......kinda"
"....that's not really reassuring"
"Come on, don't you trust me? It's beautiful to look at, it's gonna be a nice date place"
"*sighs* fine but if I die my ghost will haunt you forever"
"Don't worry, I'll never let anything happen to you"
You were slightly taken aback by her serious tone, but she quickly went back to her silly self as she smiled again, put her hands together, and disappeared, you sighed and waited for a few seconds before she reappeared with an embarrassed expression on her face
"S-sorry, I forgot you can't-"
"It's fine let's just go"
You went outside (using the door this time), and in the courtyard, gojo stood near you and held your hand
"You gotta keep holding my hand. If you don't, then you might be in a coma for a couple of months k?"
".....what?"
"Don't worry, it'll be fine. You can hug me if you're really worried, I certainly wouldn't complain~"
"*sighs* just get on with it"
She smiled again and took off her shades, revealing the blue eyes you loved to stare at, put them in her pockets, and did her domain hand sign with her free hand.
"Domain expansion: infinite void"
Suddenly, black filled your vision as you got transported into her domain, an endless plane of black with white spots, satori's grip on you tightened as she looked back at you
"Soooo what do you think? Pretty nice to look at isn't it?"
"Yeah, it's beautiful, but I guess it was guaranteed that a beautiful girl like you would have a beautiful domain"
"Eh, such a charmer. You're gonna make me blush if you continue"
You sat down, and she did the same. Her hand made its way up your body until it reached your shoulder. She pulled you into a side hug and layed her head on your shoulder
"You know I love you right?"
"Yeah you tell me that every day"
"No, I mean like love, love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me"
"*giggle* really? The great satori gojo loves me this much? I'm honored"
"You should be, but seriously, after geto left, you're the only person I have left. Sure, I have shoko, but to be honest, I don't think she cares that much about me. Even if she did, she can't really understand me.....sometimes I feel so...lonely"
You silently side hugged her back as you saw her blue eyes become slightly lucid while looking around
"I guess it's fitting that my domain is a big empty void cause that's where I feel like I'm in sometimes........"
"Except when I'm with you of course"
You turned to see her smiling brightly and staring at you lovingly
"You're what keeps me going. You're someone that i know will never leave me. i love you so much"
"I love you too"
You two kissed passionately and looked at each other with pure love
"Alright, I think that was enough. If I keep my domain going for longer, I might get tired, I'll undo it now"
She did as she said and put her shades back on
"How about we go out to eat? It's almost dinnertime and there's a really good spot around here"
"Sure if we bring megumi and tsumiki too"
"Uh?..........dammit I forgot about them....do you think they'll be mad at me?"
"*sighs* you're such a mess of a mom, we can buy them some toys on the way home, maybe they'll forgive you then"
"Great idea, you're a life saver babe"
"It's nothing. Let's just go"
She dragged around as you brought the toys and food for your adopted children.
No matter what happened, you would stick by gojo's side, and she would, of course, do the same
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sga-owns-my-soul · 11 months
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haha ignore this i need to vent
i'm so fucking done i'm so fucking mad at everyone i'm pissed at my cousin for fucking me over i'm pissed at my clients for being fucking idiots i'm pissed at my city for NEVER HAVING WORKING FUCKING TRANSIT i'm not okay i'm so not fucking okay and i don't even have my fucking headphones bc they fell out of my jacket in my cousins STUPID FUCKING CAR THAT I BASICALLY PAY FOR BUT GOD FORBID SHE DRIVE ME HOME so now i get to spend over 2 hours (after i've spent 3 hours on transit/waiting for her this morning) on public transit to get home WITHOUT my music and my clothes are ruined with cat hair from my clients today so that's fucking great and OF COURSE everything in the fucking city is delayed bc WHY WOULD WE MAKE ANYTHING EASY FOR ME NO ITS FINE ILL JUST FUCKING SUFFER TO MAKE THINGA EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE GODFORBID I GET TO CATCH A FUCKING BREAK
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gorkaya-trava · 2 months
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I really wanna fall asleep and never wake up again
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depoteka · 1 month
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🥴🥴 i called like 10 people on monday to see their flats/rooms and only managed to set up 2 meetings for tuesday. paid the equivalent of like a couple of days worth of groceries for train tickets because the prices skyrocketed. woke up at the crack of dawn to catch said train. one of the meetings got cancelled and the other one was literally sooooo perfect. a place i've always wanted to live in, the price was perfect and the flatmate nice. just now she messaged me she chose somebody else
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mosspapi · 4 months
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Gonna b honest. I kinda preferred being actively and pressingly suicidal to whatever the fuck I've got going on now. At least then I knew what I could do to keep myself reasonably safe. Whether I'd do it is another question entirely but at least it was cut-and-dry and made sense. Idek what my brain is doing atp, much less what it needs from me
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edelorion · 5 months
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#edel vents#disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh...#so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!!#today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today#and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go#i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with#aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there#and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to#discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual.#had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore)#so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood.#went home tired. can't really do anything right now.#at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks.#...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone#worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..?#i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed#as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them.#when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness.#to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth#and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her.#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred#i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many#i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating.#i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin.#i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out.#i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it.#and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved.#i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something.#maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now.#sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.
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steakout-05 · 6 months
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headcanons i have about Craig the scientist :)
as are most of the characters i have headcanons for, Craig is on the autism spectrum. he has a flat effect to his voice and facial expressions, doesn't really get most social cues, doesn't know how to react to others in pain the "right" way, misunderstands metaphors and speaks in quite a direct manner because it makes the most sense to his brain. he's quite a literal thinker. he also tends to hyperfixate so hard on a task that he forgets his basic needs and hygene, and thus has quite an unkempt look underneath that hazmat suit of his (which i will get into later!). Barry often ends up needing to get Craig something to eat because of how long he hyperfixates on something.
Craig sometimes doesn't exactly pay attention to his tone of voice, so sometimes he can say something that, to him, sounds completely normal, but because of his tone, can end up sounding really ominous to other people by accident ("We know who you are, Barry.")
Craig has traumatic cataract in his left eye (or wherever the fuck craig's visor crack is supposed to be in canon lol) from the explosion in 'Level 2' and is half blind in that eye. his eye has a very clouded look as a result of the injury. he's also got a huge scar there too that required some pretty gnarly stitches later, and his skin is almost completely numb around that area.
Craig also never really had the best eyesight before the injury, so he's always wearing these big ol' nerdy glasses underneath his helmet. and yes, they are tacked together with a band-aid lol
Craig is one of the few scientists who is not a clone of Peter Simpkins, the late friend of both Professor Brains and (in my headcanon'd canon) Craig. i like to think that Craig and Simpkins knew each other when they were first recruited by Legitimate Research and was pretty close to both him and Brains, and since Simpkins died, Brains has kind of taken more of a liking towards Craig (mostly out of loneliness and needing someone to help around at the lab, but he has a genuine fondness for him under his demanding and angry exterior).
There's a bit of a fan theory that Craig is the same guy as the scientist in the 'Robot Bird' rock opera, which i like to believe is the case. i mean, he's got the same monotone voice as Craig, it's gotta be him. i hope this does end up becoming canon because i think it'd make for an interesting conflict between Barry and Craig!!
Craig may or may not be related to Lab Lady.
Craig's counterpart in the mirror universe is named Kayla.
Craig is demiromantic and is questioning his sexuality (he thinks he might be bi or pan), though he definitely knows he loves Barry <3
Craig has an unhealthy habit of wiping his embarrassing memories, like, a lot. he wipes memories of awkward accidents in the lab, particularly painful failures, and most importantly, the memories of losing literally all his stuff and his career to Barry, which is why he doesn't immediately recognise him in the shorts. Craig has a lot of trouble recounting stories from the past because of this memory-wiping and felt a sense of emptiness, which getting hit in the head certainly didn't help with, so he tried inventing that apple in the Multiverse Madness event to get some of them back. it was pure dumb luck that Barry didn't end up witnessing what happened to Craig in the 'Robot Bird' opera and both are completely unaware of the disastrous can of worms that could have opened. bro's gonna end up like wallflower blush if he doesn't keep that memory erasing under control
and finally...
under his helmet, Craig has messy dirty-blonde hair, a rounded face that has a few stray facial hairs he forgot to shave, a long scar down the left side of his face, hazel coloured eyes and pale skin. this design is inspired by the designs made by @dexterno-artz and @schnabel53 respectively :D
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this is a sketch of my finalised(ish) craig design!!! i've shown earlier versions of this guy in a couple of older posts but i haven't really revised his design much until now. i kinda had the idea of him looking like a stereotypical nerd and then made him messier. i might tone the amount of hair he has down a tiny bit but also i really like the nerdy bird's nest thing he has goin on :) i like to think he literally hasn't brushed his hair in several weeks and it's just become a bird's nest from nights of staying up doing science stuff
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how i feel about barry tbh. he's literally so dumb i love him
(also apologies for the photos being kinda blurry and me forgetting to turn off the filter. again. in my defence it looks really nice and orange on my phone)
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sometimes i like drawing him saying stuff from the shorts to get a feel of how he'd look when talking and make sure he looks juuuust nerdy enough for me to go "yep that's craig". also his big,g, handns,s,
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drew this as a quick side profile sketch to get a general idea of how i want to draw him from this angle. he's talking to barry offscreen and falling in love with him <3
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stupid little comic with a stupid little interaction that would definitely happen between these stupid little guys <3 barry being a little asshole every now and then is very entertaining to me. i need to see him antagonising craig and starting an old couple bickering argument with craig, that would heal me i think
i think i'll post more of this design in the future, i really quite like it a lot :)
#jetpack joyride#craig jetpack joyride 2#jetpack joyride 2#headcanon design#yeag sorry the photos are so fucked looking#my room does not have good lighting.... like..... at all#my sketchbook is also literally falling to pieces lmao#i'm gonna get a new one soon but damn. my poor sketchbook#i didnt even do anything to it....... why must it fall apart and die on me..........#anyway YEAH craig design!!!!#i quite like this design a lot#i feel like there's something that could be added to it but i don't wanna make his design more complicated than it already is#that first drawing of him kinda looks like his eye is bleeding lol#it's just a really big scar dw#craig having traumatic cataract was inspired by my dog getting traumatic glaucoma in his eye#also i think craig would go hard as like. a character who's similar to wallflower blush#except instead of everyone forgetting her but her remembering them#it's craig forgetting everything that happened to him and then finding a way to restore the memories and then he gets SO PISSED at barry#they'll sure need a lot of couple's counselling after that blunder#i kinda wanna make designs for steve and toni#especially steve!!!#how do you think they'd identify steve from the other scientists. would barry just stick a big piece of paper with an S on it to his face#answering my own question: yes he would absolutely do that#steve is the one i feel like both barry and craig tease the most#i find steve literally being so nervous about being perceived that he runs away and damages property to be extremely relatable#also fun fact: craig's hair and eye colours are kinda based off the colour i see the word craig in???#ok this is gonna be tricky to explain but i think i might have grapheme colour synesthesia#it's basically a condition where you can see or VERY heavily associate colours to a specific number or letter#and for some reason my brain has christened 'craig' as being a very specific sort of yellowy green! it's what i see in my head when i think#-of the word 'craig' so i decided to make him kinda blonde and have hazel eyes (which is basically a mix of green and yellow)!! neato!!
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nientedal · 1 year
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I just saw ANOTHER post lamenting this change, so I'm just gonna say "fuck it" and make a how to do the thing post, and if I'm misunderstanding the outrage... lol, this is tumblr, I'm sure someone will tell me.
Currently, if you want to go to a post in the middle of a reblog thread, you have to click the empty space in what I call the reblog header. The reblog header is the space that holds a user's name and reblog details, and on desktop, it turns a different color when you move your cursor over it. It's this space:
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It doesn't change colors on mobile, obviously, because no cursor, but I think tapping is a little more intuitive on mobile anyway and afaik this particular thing has been this way here for a while now...? Whatever. Anyway, that's how you get to a mid-thread reblog!
(I actually do kinda like this new setup. It's not perfect, it can be annoying if someone's URL is long or if I accidentally click "Follow" instead of the header space. But overall, the space to click into a prior reblog is bigger now and I like that. I don't think I'll have to worry as much about mouse precision or drowsy coordination issues, which is nice. Maybe I'll be able to use the desktop version more.)
However, this means that in order to see "prev tags," you apparently have to click into the notes view and scroll until you find them. That's annoying for those who want to see them, and I can't blame anyone for being irritated. If you're new here you may be surprised to learn "prev tags" is fairly recent, so my recommendation (if you're looking for an alternative) is to put the actual tags from the user you're reblogging from, instead. This was normal prior to the "prev tags" trend if you wanted to share tags without screenshotting them, and it seems like tumblr has made it super easy now. The mobile app now automatically suggests the previous tags, and on desktop, they show up in a dropdown when you click to tag your post. Personally, I like to put "<-borrowing your tags bc funny" or "<-stole your tags for truth" or something right after, so I don't feel like I'm taking credit for someone else's phrasing. But either way, it's handy for your followers to be able to read the tags you liked without having to click to a different blog.
I'm hoping this particular change will be seen as useful after the rocky adjustment period is over.
All this being said, I personally like these particular changes, but I wish Tumblr would not roll out changes as rapidly as they seem to be recently. Either change everything at the same time or give it a rest, holy shlamoly! I stopped using Facebook because it seemed like every time I opened it, something was different, and it became jarring and uncomfortable to try to use. I'm starting to have a similar feeling about tumblr, and I don't like it.
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navree · 1 year
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i am going to shoot the domina showrunners in the head i have had enough
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queerstudiesnatural · 2 years
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ok well. just went to see a neuropsychologist and all she asked me were the standard questions you find in every internet autism test. which i KNOW don't apply to me ("do you find it difficult to infer people's intentions", "do you find it difficult to read between the lines" etc) and like she was literally reading off of her computer and asking me to pick one of the options between "strongly agree" and "strongly disagree" and it's like girl i could have done that at home. sure hope she's not stopping there and that she's not gonna just look at what i said but at the way i said it. idk it irked me that she just pulled up the old (as in outdated and reductive) standardised test on her computer and acted as if those questions would make me question myself like girl i've done this test fifteen times. not only is it not going to tell you anything about me but it's not going to tell you anything about most people. and most autistics. and she did suggest i come back for a more formal and global assessment, but she also kept using the words "cognitive deficit" to describe autism. which i realise is a commonly used term, but it feels reductive idk. so overall i'm not overjoyed with how this went lol.
#i'm sure she was reading between the lines etc#but the mere fact that she used that test (which is like 5 questions long and only applies to a small portion of autistic people)#rubbed me the wrong way#ok ok i need to tell myself that she knows what she's doing and she didn't stop at the questions#because i pretty much gave the neurotypical answer to all of her questions in terms of which button to click#but then i was like yeah i can read between the lines i've been analysing people my entire life it's my favourite hobby#ok yeah she probably knows what she's doing and isn't stopping at the stupid questions#i have to believe that otherwise i just threw 60€ down the drain#oh also she kept asking why i wanna know i was like girl idk i just do!!!#if i don't know for sure what the fuck is wrong with me soon i'm gonna die i think i'm going to spontaneously combust#she asked me three times. like but WHY do you wanna know?? what is it going to accomplish?? my peace of fucking mind that's what#idk why people are always like why do you wanna know why do you have to put a label on everything#ummm this isn't a fucking aesthetic ok we're talking about knowing the reason why i can't fucking function yeah i wanna know!!!#and if it's not autism (which i'm not sure i trust this woman to tell me) then it's something else bc there's no way i'm just normal lol#i need a diagnosis i just do it's not going to accomplish anything tangible i just need to understand things and most of all my own brain#oof i need to calm down i'm getting worked up
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tvrningout · 10 months
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y'all remember when i said maybe cyrillo dies?? i take it back. he's faking his death and retiring to some village by the sea bc i said so uvu
#and actually i think that would be a more fulfilling end to his story for both cyrillo and readers#bc his thing is that he pretty much is living to help others and doesn't give himself that same care#he doesn't neglect his health or anything but the dude never goes on vacation#he throws himself into war when he swore he'd never do that again but it's like!! someone's gotta help the free army!!#so i really like the idea that maybe there's a situation in which it /appears/ cyrillo died#but nah he lived and he retired and became a no one like he was before everything happened#and he's happy he's finally living for himself and taking advantage of his second chance at life /for himself/#for both cyrillo and rin i think a big character-defining trait of theirs is that despite what they've been through and will go through#they love life they love the world they're in they love people and so i think both of them are gonna have that choice#go rest or go back to work#and workaholic cyrillo chooses rest in the form of disappearing to a lil village#and rogue rin goes back to work bc she can't help it. she can't deny that people need her#and hers is a lil more serious bc sunna is like 'i don't gotta resurrect you again. you could die and be reborn anew'#but no rin loves her life despite everything. she's not ready to go yet#AAAHHH SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING I'M :' ))))))#i wanna try to write a lil more before bed so let me stop asdfg#headcanons | dórverold#headcanons | cyrillo#i don't wanna lose this just in case bc of the tags uvu
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nobodybetterlookatme · 11 months
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Lmao y'all ever think about where you should be in life vs where you actually are
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rejoiceandcomplain · 1 year
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I would like to stop feeling so miserable and anxious all the time!!!! it's starting to feel a bit dire in here!!!!
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corpsegold · 2 years
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i need to get an overdraft set up so i can afford more alcohol. I cant cope with being awake or having emotions or being aware lmfao
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aberooski · 2 years
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Since today is Thanksgiving and all that, I'm thankful for the conversation I had with my sister yesterday that led to me figuring out a lot of stuff for my Stormshipping Cinderella au so I can start writing it a lot sooner than I thought I would because I'm slow as shit. Chazzerella is on the horizon! Next year babes 👀
#figured out some lore and logistic stuff that would bug me not to acknowledge#because my toxic trait as a writer is that I do the most appropriately all of the time#she also helped me work out specifically how to handle the glass slipper situation in conjuction with Light and Darkness Dragon so yay!!#if I decide to do the ygobb next year again I might save it for that like I did OUAD but I'm not sure if I'm gonna do it again#or maybe take a break this year since I've done it the last 5 years in a row#I haven't written anything not for the ygobb in so long I kinda wanna take a break and do stuff just for me again#because the time constraints are what make me burn out so hard because I'm pushing myself too hard to get done#in what feels like such a short amount of time when it's honestly hard for me to write shorter fics as much as I want to#anyway it's gonna be a great au and I'm excited#also I'm gonna be posting my Fatal Frame crossover as I write it after I get the first few chapters done#that way we can pretend to have some consistency but I miss just writing and posting whenever I feel like it and have the mental power#I miss having longevity I feel like all my fics die off really quickly because I had to adhere to the bb posting schedule#we had to post every single day if we had multichapter fics every year until this year but we had to have it all up within 4 weeks#so I wanted to post OUAD twice a week but it has 12 chapters so I had to do 3 times a week instead#I just don't have the longevity I wish I could have so I'm taking it back#basically this crossover and this au are me taking back my own fics and protecting my brain from having to push too hard all the time#I want to enjoy the actual writing process again I'm tired of feeling stressed and that I have to finish it asap#but fuck it right?#yugioh#yugioh gx#stormshipping#chazz princeton#atticus rhodes#yugioh gx fanfiction
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zincbot · 2 years
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the weight of this animatic is fucking unbearable i worked on it for 6 hours today and tomorrow i have to WASTE TIME. CELEBRATING JUL. and i'm only like. 8% done
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