#i just took my meds because i can't survive this morning without them

[meldelamel]

I had the most horrible nightmare. I had to switch in my dream to be able to go through it. Absolutely disgusting...

[sonicnerd]

Rolesawap RBA

It was a good day for the R!Bots, until, the emergency alarm went off, P!Whirl told the recruits that they have everything under control. The recruits wanted to help, but the mission was dangerous, and the Professors didn't want the recruits to get hurt. P!Medix stayed behind while the rest of his team went to Griffin Rock to deal with the emergency.

The recruits were all worried. They didn't have a clue on what was so dangerous about their mentors mission. Plus, none of them wanted their mentors to get serious hurt. But out of all the recruits, R!Heatwave was the most worried.

P!Hotshot was like a sire to R!Heatwave, so it was natural for R!Heatwave to be in a state of panic if anything were to happen to his Mentor.

A few hours past till they hered the ground bridge open. They were relieved.

Until...

P!Whirl yelled out for P!Medix. The Recruits were now worried that someone was hurt. They rushed to the ground bridge to see the P!Hotshot had his servo plating exposed, his optic was glitching along with his other servo. P!Hotshot was a mess. He got rushed to the med Bay for repairs and energon transfusion.

The Recruits rushed to their mentors and asked what happened to which the Professors answered as best as they could. P!Hoist took the recruits to the lounge so they can explain and comfort the recruits if needed.

R!Heatwave didn't follow, he ran to med Bay and watched as P!Medix pulled out unfamiliar tools to fix P!Hotshot. R!Heatwave knew he shouldn't be watching what was happening, but he couldn't look away...

"recruit Heatwave, come here, you shouldn't be looking at this." Said P!Whirl.

R!Heatwave just stood there. He saw as P!Medix face shifted into one of lost hope for survival.

P!Whirl tried to get closer to R! Heatwave but she couldn't. R!Heatwave ran to his room, grabbed Rose and darted to the laundry room. He took all the blanket and covered himself up while hugging Rose tightly.

Everyone was looking for R!Heatwave. They eventually found him, huddle ina corner with blankets surrounding him.

"hey Heatwave, everything is gonna be-" P!Whirl started.

She then yelled, "AHH!!"

"Whirl, are you ok!?" Said a concerned P!Wedge.

P!Whirl backed away from R!Heatwave. She showed her digit that had some energon on it. She screamed because R!Heatwave bit her.

The others were shocked that R!Heatwave did such a thing. R!Blades put a bandaid on P!Whirl's digit.

No one could get to R!Heatwave without being bitten by him. R!Heatwave was scared, he thought that his Mentor - the only sire figure he had - had died from his injurys.

Night soon fell and P!Medix was still fixing up P!Hotshot. P!Medix fixed P!Hotshot to almost new, but he would need time to heal. A few weeks maybe a month or so.

R! Heatwave couldn't sleep. His insomnia plus his stressed out mind reawakened his Feral instinct.

By morning P!Hotshot opened his optics to Medix changing his energon bag.

"Medix... Are the humans ok..." Even in his state, the only thing P!Hotshot was considered about were the humans.

P!Medix signed, "affirmative, the humans are ok, but we should really be worrying about you. Plus, Recruit Heatwave's feral instinct reawakened."

P! Hotshot tried to get up but couldn't. "My injuries are so bed I can't even stand...."

P!Medix nodded. "You are gonna be bedridden for a while." P!Medix paused. " And until you get better, we can't do anything about Heatwave."

A few weeks later

P!Hotshot was able to walk around the academy, but he still needed an energon bag with him.

"Whirl... Where is Heatwave..." His drained voice asked P!Whirl whom was in the middle of teaching.

The other recruits were relieved to see that their professor Hotshot was doing better.

"he's in the laundry room." R!Boulder informed P!Hotshot.

"we've been sliding food to him so he's had plenty to eat." R!Blades added on.

"we advise you to be careful, he bit all of us." R!Chase warned.

P! Hotshot want to the laundry room and opened the door. R!Heatwave was in the dark. P!Hotshot got closer, R!Heatwave almost bit him, but apon realizing it was his Mentor, he stopped and hugged him tightly.

"I thought you didn't make it!!! I was so worried and scared that I'll never see you again!!!" Said a sobbing R! Heatwave.

P!Hotshot calmed him down enough so they could make optic contact.

"there was no need to worry, I'm fine, see." P! Hotshot said.

"but...but.." R! Heatwave stuttered. "I don't want you to leave me.... I can't be all alone again.... Your like a sire to me... I can't lose you...." He hugged P! Hotshot tightly as he continued to cry his optics out.

P! Hotshot held him close, "don't worry... I will never in a million eons leave you Heatwave..."

------------------------------------------------------------

All done! I thought this would take me longer to write but it didn't. So enjoy the Rolesawap RBA stuff @asmoteeth @wildlygay !!!

Have a good day/night!!

March 9/2023

[mangled-by-disuse]

I want to try a new motivation/self-esteem thing, and since it's quarter to one on a worknight and I just got out of the bath, this is mostly a reminder to myself.

This is by no means an original idea, I'm mostly cadging off what works for me in project planning and workflow stuff professionally, as well as the fact that "streaks" as a concept really work for me (witness my current 1,682 day streak on Duolingo, for example. also the daily creativity thing has been doing wonders to help me out of the November rut, solely because I don't like breaking my streak.)

I've tried a lot of things before where I track myself and measure myself and hold myself accountable, and they've usually worked! but I also tend to end up dropping them eventually because the act of measuring itself takes too much time. so I think I need to simplify. on which basis:

Every morning, I want to set myself 1-5 "success criteria" - these need to be bounded, completable tasks (i.e. it can't be "get better at this" or "work on that"), they need to be practical to how I feel that day, and they need to be clearly defined and written down. Basically, SMART deliverables. Under no account am I allowed to set more than 5 of them.

I am not allowed to add to my success criteria throughout the day. However, if I've made a good-faith effort at one of them and outside circumstances mean it's no longer possible (for instance, if one of the criteria is "make this phone call" and the person I'm calling doesn't pick up or have an answering machine), I am allowed to strike that off the list.

At the end of the day, I go back to the list, and if I've done all my things for the day, I can mark that as a successful day, regardless of how much or how little else I've done and regardless of how I feel about it.

I want to measure successful days on a calendar, probably get some stickers or something eventually.

The hope is that this will force me to set actually achievable success criteria for myself - I'm very good at setting goals, but I tend to set them too high, and then even though I often reach them, I still feel bad about how much of a struggle it's been. I also tend to set myself a schedule at work that's motivating and productive, but where things often carry over day to day if anything goes wrong. And limiting those goals to 5 means that, even if I have a tonne of chores or little things to do, I can still succeed without needing to bury myself in a twenty-point to-do list - and anything else I do is gravy.

I think I need to be explicit with myself, too, that the goal can just be "eat at least once" and "take my meds". That way, I can still succeed on the days when I wake up and just surviving the day feels like an accomplishment.

I'm very conscious that, for me, the goal actually isn't "be more productive" - even when I hate myself for being lazy and apathetic, I am usually very productive. Like, today feels like a failure of a day where I slept all day and did nothing, but I made bread, I made dinner, I called my mum, I took a bath, I wrote stuff... it's not good for me, but that's a perfectly respectable amount of work for a day off, you know?

so the goal for me is more to convince myself of that, and to feel like my life is a little less Sisyphean and a little more... well. Successful. and there might be days where I wake up full of energy (that's happened! like... maybe a dozen times in my adult life, but it's happened!) and ready to take on the world, and I can set myself Big Jobs as a success criterion, and there might be days when I wake up feeling like garbage and can't imagine myself doing more than the bare minimum. but I think setting goals on a daily basis like that will be good for accounting for that (whereas previously my goal-setting has been a weekly thing, and it's a bit more prone to optimism and drift).

anyway this is a lot of blather for "I want to try a very basic motivation technique that's been in common usage for decades" but. i wanna. and i wanna remember this tomorrow so i can give it a real shot.

[marie1-kersaint]

K1.0 yanked mom’s picture away

https://www.facebook.com/share/JAKs37VGzkXzWViG/?mibextid=WC7FNe (https://www.facebook.com/share/JAKs37VGzkXzWViG/?mibextid=WC7FNe)

Sent from my iPhone

Even roaches 🪳 little ants 🐜 don't stand still and be bullied 🐂, 🦵 away and killed WITHOUT TRYING

GOD PUT THAT desperate survival mode inside us

A live dog is better than a dead lion 🦁

GOOD JOB 👏 ON SENDING K1.0, nice concise to the point respectful (by yanking MOM’s picture out and telling me she doesn’t like that and don’t put it back out) Possibly The first time in years she'd ever talked to me. You say hello 👋 no one hears. The F words almost always

https://kjbo.org/Matthew-22-15/ (https://kjbo.org/Matthew-22-15/)

Please 🙏 if someone from the school text me or sent me a note that Mom’s picture outside may hurt K1.0   or her grades. i will not take it out anymore.   While cleaning 🧼 Mom's room one day she'd gone to chiropractor, i noticed and thought k1.0 loves mirrors BUT WHERE TO PLACE IT?

BUT last Wednesday or Tuesday i thought near tv 📺 by front door and i picked it up and it was this latest battle in this war.

I DON’T TRUST YOU‼️

it could be another power 💪 play like the rehearsal Thursday 031424 8:43 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME even if one of them assaults and i defend myself

Or chiding me for glittering the place NOW HOPEFULLY INSTEAD OF LATE ⏰ FOOD or bishop pastor serge jerome had a more important funeral✝️the storm✝️business ✝️Easter and Christmas 🎅 are the biggest draw 💰

They can complain about glitter on their clothes

2014 “well, she gave you a place to stay” Saturday “well it’s been 9 years,  GO”

Which scares me 😱 to no end when feeds 🆎 how a guy kept slipping his brother's pregnant girlfriend abortion pills 💊 until the baby died and "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO KILL SOMEONE"

WHICH OF THE 3 CHIPMUNKS WILL GET A BETTER "head" bad words. galore

The list goes on and the bad words and i know that i am likely to call the regulations KGB

Can't @PBCSHERRIF or @FBI @FCC can regulate YouTube, TikTok feeds, contents, age

@highlightPBSO - Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office

FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation

FBI

Federal Communications help us investigate what our kids are watching

Like i said i am exposed here, my food, my water they are of great size and many. That kind of stress wears the heart out.

To be 🆙 watching people whose not in your corner 👀 @4u

Yesterday 1:37 am lights, doors opened,closed

i don’t know who coached K3.0 to sniff and sniff and sitting close to me sniffing UNTIL afternoon the cure come and sniffing stopped and kicking kersaint out did not work. (i briefly passed by library 📚 Planet Fitness 💪

i am impervious to her sniffing now. i have been played too long

One Friday i kept going to car changing skirts because the top that i changed into i think was 1 of K2.0 's old Tshirts

My heart was breaking, and i knew i took a shower the morning

When i came in after Mom’s October Hospital @wellingtonRegionalmedicalCenter 🏥 stay, i WAS AMAZING 1 of GINA’s kids showed feelings. i said ‘you’re giving me a big head’

“'Anti' kersaint is here” i prefer just Kersaint🙏

It turned out you wanted me to go against my beliefs. I WANTED MOM TO GO TO PLANETFITNESS.com 🌎 💪. TO TRY TO DO THINGS FOR HERSELF. I DON’T WANT HER IN BED UNTIL 1 or 3 PM

i don’t want DOROTHY TO COME TO @WELLIMGTONREGIONALMEMORIALCENTER

Wellington Fl to clean 🧼 🧽 mom up

i set up doctors appointments and rides BUT THEY WERE CANCELLED

"MOM HAS PRIVATE CAR"

i want Mom to drive in salem community church of God in their vans 🚐 so she can find newly come Haitian to talk to

Sent from my iPhone 📲

In PSL jeeringly "YEAH🙄YOU HAVE SOMETHINGTO LIVE FOR"

"SUZIE MADE A BIG MISTAKE USING THAT LAPBAND"

Yes, every good move is full of regrets, and possible infections and lots of other meds BUT she knew how she felt and the cost and losses BUT SHE LIKED AND WAS COMFORTABLE WITH THAT BODY

SUZIE just has to find a safer, better alternative (after all these years there must be something safer, fewer side effects)

i believe this verse even before i read it

https://kjbo.org/Ecclesiastes-9-4/ (https://kjbo.org/Ecclesiastes-9-4/)

Since DOROTHY and KATHY are associated with PBC schools 🏫 & programs, if you send me text or email stating remembering her grandmother may "hurt her school work" and she goes to church ⛪️ with her mom until at least the first day of summer 2024... OFF COURSE I WILL GET RID OF MOM's PICTURE LIKE YOU WANT IT

i thought of keeping it until the🆕 owner, realtor or sheriff threatening fines that i cannot pay 💰 or the neighbors complain (not being laminat

ed 😢it looks shabby, messy, and ugly ) YOU TOOK CARE OF MOM in life and THROUGH DEATH. i cannot cry for #MICHAELJACKSON

#SACHATCHADSTEALTHMACHVASHTIMOSEYSACHATCHAD

#MARIEELIARINTUSSDEMOSTHENES who’s going to MEANINGFULLY comfort me and make me stop 🛑 crying 😭 and not go 👎 into depression (forgetting that a live dog is better than a dead lion 🦁) then forget to just keep going keep fighting

i cannot have “a shrine” (it might become idolatrous) BUT i don't want to forget her too like LINDA

https://www.facebook.com/share/dJtM65P76sX9LEXh/?mibextid=WC7FNe

[arvencacklethorn]

I'd nearly forgotten..

When your medication says to *never* skip a dose.. oh does that need to be taken seriously.

I try my best to stay on track, but in this instance I had a fatigue flareup that kept me stuck to my bed like a sad little bug.. and I missed taking my medications all the day because of it. That was yesterday. Being a bit too concerned about "the right timing" for my meds, I tried to wait until a certain time to then finally take them.

This was a very. big. mistake.

I'd waited particularly long for the 'right' time to take my migraine prevention medicine, which meant I'd gone more than 24hrs without it- long enough for it to mostly leave my system.

So, this morning turned into quite the shock. A swift return the mind-searing agony I'd gone so long without. A sheer drop into that blindingly dizzy and nauseating abyss, where even an iota of light or sound sends me whirling. I was just there, with my head feeling like it could explode at any minute, and that it was somehow being actively raked with hot claws from the inside. The onset of all this took less than an hour. By the point where it had gotten to there, it took serious effort to drink a sip of water, let alone take pills. Every sight, sound, smell, or touch- brutal and overwhelming additives to the pain. I couldn't think clearly, and every time I tried to speak just turned into a whimper, or a laugh that disturbs me on an instinctive level.

I know that I used to go about my day dealing with all that, that I used to go to school like that when I was younger.. I can't understand how I ever got by. I know that during those *years* of a nigh-continuous migraine, I did sometimes half-jokingly ask people to 'off' me.. I see that I wasn't joking so much, in hindsight. I don't know how I survived like that, let alone managed anything I accomplished.

Back to today's matter- I did eventually manage to take my pills, then just curled up with my eyes covered and some cloth to bite on til eventually I dozed off. It's still there, just kind of a dull aching in the outreaches of my skull, my eyes feel raw and brittle, but the meds worked, and I'll be able to manage.. hence the long ramblings here. I think I've learned my lesson. I do have bad/breakthrough migraine days even while on my meds properly, but never quite like this.

I'd nearly forgotten the personal hell that migraines can be, and why I need to be mindful of it in trying to care for myself. Someday I'll probably forget again, and be painfully reminded once more- but until then I'll just keep trying my best, and hope for the best.

Take care of yourselves out there.

[heyitsrcoor]

Meet-cute

Genre: Fluff, unrequited love, friends-to-lovers

Pairing: Day 6 Jae x Reader

Length: One-Shot

Meet-cute [noun] /ˈmiːtˌkjuːt/:

(in a movie, etc.) a humorous or interesting situation in which two people meet, that leads to them developing a romantic relationship with each other. (Cambridge Dictionary)

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Absolutely Smitten (Dodie Clark)

───────────────⚪───────────────────

◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 1:17 / 3:48 ⠀ ───○ 🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐ ⊏⊐

•••

Your 12-hour shift at the hospital just ended. The census hasn’t gone down for days and while you’ve gotten so good at convincing yourself that you’re strong and resilient, you can feel the weariness seep in through your bones.

While walking to your apartment, you noticed that the bookstore on the corner of the street has finally opened its doors. A part of you wanted to walk past it, visit another day when you’re not wearing your nurse’s uniform, tired and sweaty. But the urge to scan the book selection was much stronger and so you find yourself pushing its glass doors. The bell chimes welcome you.

The warm lights and the smell of new books were enough to calm your weary soul. The bookstore was smaller compared to the well-known ones located at the malls, but it had the organic and cozy vibe of a library which you’re very much well pleased with. And the fact that it’s not crowded yet means you’ll be able to roam around freely.

You were feeling giddy when you finally reached the non-fiction section. Your eyes scanned each title, looking for any familiar ones that could be in your TBR list.

Finally, you see a white spine, “When Breath Becomes Air.” You grabbed for it hastily which caused the books beside it to topple down.

You bowed down to reach for the books but a hand beat you to it.

“Oh thank you.” You said as you stood upright. The person was really tall that you had to tilt your head a little bit to be able to see their face. You held your breath as you stood face-to-face with a handsome, bespectacled, human being.

“Was just looking for this.” He smiled as he held the book you accidentally dropped—Being Mortal by Atul Gawande.

You pretended to be cool about it like it’s not at all a big deal to meet your ideal guy (superficially speaking) in one of your most favorite places.

“Yeah? Sorry for accidentally pushing it to its death.” It sounded alright in your mind but having said it in words made you internally cringe.

He held the book and scanned it for dents. He shrugged, “Nah, it survived the fall—despite being mortal, oh God, that was so bad.” He let out a hearty laugh which you swore could melt an iceberg. “Anyway, thanks!” He smiles once more before turning his back.

Your heart deflated a little bit. Sharing a joke with a handsome stranger at the bookstore. Isn’t that the perfect recipe for a meet-cute? Except you’ll probably never meet again. Just another statistic of your “could-have-beens”.

Well, he could have asked for your name or YOU could have offered a book suggestion. Except he probably doesn’t find you attractive enough and you don’t have the guts to make the first move on a stranger.

You shrugged the thought away. Too much Kdramas and romcoms do screw your brain a little bit. You looked at your book once more. Right, maybe you should just fill your mind more with philosophies and thought-provoking stuff. Nonetheless, you can’t contain the smile forming on your face. Butterflies should stay in the gardens and not on your guts.

•••

When you said that book guy is just another statistic of a failed meet-cute, you were pleasantly surprised to find yourself wrong.

Two months later, you’re at a coffee shop waiting in line when you spot him sitting near the window.

He was wearing a white uniform, busy typing on the laptop in front of him. Unlike the scattered papers on his table, he looked serene. He adjusts his eyeglasses and you notice how slender and beautiful his fingers are.

“He’s a student.” You thought. Before you knew it, you started computing for your possible age gap. Given it has only been a year since you’ve graduated, 5 years would be the maximum gap if he’s a freshman. You cringed at the thought of dating someone younger. Moreover, you cringed at the thought that you’d actually date someone out of your league.

“Good morning! What’s your order?” The barista’s voice booms as if calling you out back to reality.

“Oh…yeah, uhh..” You proceeded to recite your order and another 5 orders of your co-nurses at SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit).

Waiting for your orders, you purposefully sat on a table that could give you the best vision of him in a very lowkey manner. Whatever that is.

You tried your best to be nonchalant but your eyes would subtly glance at him.

Oh wow, is that a great view from the window? You thought as you glide your eyes to where he was. To your surprise, he was looking at you too.

You dropped your gaze for a few seconds and looked up at him once again. He was smiling and your heart starts to palpitate.

Did he recognize you?

You watch him raise his hand, waving.

Entranced, you almost waved back but a person walks past you, her white skirt blocking your view of him. You watched her sit right in front of the book guy. Your book guy. She was wearing the same uniform as him. A classmate. A really pretty classmate.

You clenched your hand. You felt embarrassed, angry even. Angry at yourself for always expecting that someone would actually look at you. And stupid for thinking that meeting your soulmate would eventually be as exciting and memorable as the Kdramas.

The barista calls your name and you get up. You picked your orders and left without turning back.

•••

The thing about reality and romance is that not every encounter will be explosive. No, it won’t be as fast as love at first sight. Sometimes, love would come in the most mundane and gradual way possible.

A week later, you’d see book guy at your workplace. He’s one of the two med students on their clerkship assigned in your unit. He’d introduce himself as “Jae” and before you could do the same, he’d utter your name and everyone would be curious to know how you knew each other.

You’d dread the fact that he’d recognize your embarrassing moment at the coffee shop but he’d say that he actually recalls meeting you at the book store. And that he just read your name from your name tag.

Days, weeks passed.

Coincidence or not, your schedule would almost be the same and so you’d spend most of your shifts with Jae. You’d almost feel tired answering his seemingly endless questions.

You’d give him a heads up on what to expect on his first observation in the OR and he’d let you borrow a book in return.

You’d still catch yourself sneaking a glance at him but work would eventually drown his presence.

You’d sometimes spend your lunch together and you’d learn that you share the same taste of music and that he plays an instrument too.

You never seemed to run out of things to talk to and sometimes—a lot of times, you’d entertain that idea that he could actually like you.

But you knew that expectations lead to disappointments so you’d eventually settle your heart that whatever you had is just purely platonic friendship and you’d convince yourself that you are totally fine with that.

You thought that once he leaves your unit, whatever connection you had will mellow down. But then he asks for your number and his first text would be “Started benign in the morning, now I just assisted in delivering a baby. Is it normal to feel like crying?”

He’d send you memes about cats and your fave shows and soon you’d develop your inside jokes.

You tried your best to keep cool and ignore the butterflies but then something actually happens.

1 year later, he’d confess to you in the same coffee shop.

"I like you. I really like you." He said.

You’d be left speechless and be teary-eyed.

“How…? When?” You’d ask.

He said he could not forget how he was amused at your facial expression when you were picking your book at the bookstore. He said he would have stricken a longer conversation if not for his dad waiting on his car who was his ride at that time.

At the coffee shop, he noticed you while you recited the lengthy orders of your workmates and he was impressed.

He did smile at you but his classmate and partner in a school activity coincidentally arrived.

And no, he did not read your name tag. He knew about it when he heard the barista called you and he remembered.

When he saw the hospital he was interning at, he wondered if you’d be there. When he saw you at the unit he was first assigned at, his heart felt like it could jump out of his chest. He thought it was “fate” and it felt like fate because your schedules would usually coincide. He said knowing you more each day excites him and gives him joy. You were his kindred spirit and confidant. You just clicked.

And just like that, your unrequited-love streak comes to an end.

"Thank you." You answered and Jae's eyes started to quiver. He opens his mouth but no words came out.

Realizing your mistake you started to say sorry which made everything worse.

Jae forced himself to smile but you can see the pain in his eyes. He thought he was being rejected!

You took his right hand on the table and held it firmly. "I like you too, Jae."

His eyes widened and he started laughing.

"Oh God, I can't believe I'm capable of having 5 different kinds of emotions in less than 10 seconds."

"Cute," you muttered.

"Did you just call me cute!?"

You shook your head and smiled. "I mean... I guess you're my meet-cute after all."

-END-

[when-residents-are-evil]

Entry #2

A/N: Heya! Entry #2 is here ^^ I’m really excited t oget the story going but I need to keep it slow for now, which is frustrating as hell. I’m considering writing an actual fic for Samael following the journal, or maybe I’ll switch to a fic towards the end. Idk yet. Hope you’ll like it!

17th April 2018

08h12

I thought I'd start adding time stamps. Maybe it'll help keep things organized, you know?

It takes me around 20 minutes to go from my house (the one I'm 'borrowing') to the center of the village. It might be 20 minutes too much if I have a problem one day. But it's the best I'll find for now.

17th April 2018

My arm is taking it's sweet ass time to heal. I'm also getting short on Lei, so I should either find a way to get more or hunt my own food. I need to keep some for when I'm out of here and on my way home. I'll make an exception for medical stuff (and food for now, at least until I get my hands on a fishing rod or something).

I don't know how to fish, though. Or hunt. Or what toxic plants grow around here.

How did I even survive a week?

__________________________________________

08h37

The Duke isn't there yet, so I'm trying to get info; chat up the villagers and all.

Problem #1: people here don't like me and aren't talkative.

Problem #2: I'm socially incompetent.

These two things really don't mix well. I’m not a people person, and my lack of social skills is embarrassing.

Example numero uno: I legit asked a baker "So, you like bread, huh?"

He gave me a weird look (as you do) and I ran away before I could melt with shame. I hate myself. I'm a fucking clown. No wonder they're not found of outsiders, what the fuck was I thinking. My entire bloodline, back to my prehistoric ancestors, is most likely cringing right now.

At least my mom didn't see me.

Alright, enough socializing for today.

__________________________________________

09h12

Apparently the Duke opens up at 09h in the morning. He's still setting up his shop, so I'll give him a moment before going to him.

This man has a lot in store. I  have no idea how he gets all this stuff, and I'm tempted to ask him to let me go with him next time he goes out of town. I don't want to sound innapropriate, though. And, as nice as he is, I have a feeling he wouldn't do such a huge favor without asking for something in return (let's be honest, I can't blame him). I don't know what he would ask me for, and I doubt I'd be able to grant it.

Let's try it out on my own first. I'll ask him for help if I'm desperate.

__________________________________________

10h03

So, I took my time with the Duke today. He refused to say more about the four doors and why I can't cross them, but I guess I should go into a little more details about them?

Okay. The Duke's shop is somewhat in the center of the village. There are five big paths, four which are blocked by huge wooden doors. The only one that doesn't have a door is the one to the village. There's an atlar at the crossroad between the paths. They all have a detailed crest on them. One of the paths lead to the castle towering over the village. I'm almost sure that the castle itslef is as big as the village. I think there's a way to access it from the church (thing the Duke told me would be dumb as all hell). The second path seems to lead into the forest, a little higher up the mountain. I can see a river from here, and I think there's a house all the way up, but I can't really see it. The third path leads straight down to a submerged part of the village. No idea who would want to live in the most inhospitable part of this dumpster, but okay. The last door seems to lead to a large road cut by the river, up a hill. I can see smoke from here, and according to the Duke, it's a factory of some sort.

He still won't tell me about the people owning these pieces of land, but I'm sure at least one of the villagers will tell me something. I don't even need details yet, I just want generic informations.

Oh, and I got a fishing rod and a hunting knife.

__________________________________________

16h22

Finally! I met someone willing to talk!

Her name is Louisa. Or is it Luiza? I don't know how to spell it, I'll ask her later.

She's a middle aged woman, and when I asked her if she could tell me litterally anything about this place, she invited me for lunch. She's a sweetheart.

The whole 'pray for Mother Miranda's good graces' bit was uncomfortable to say the least, but she's nice, generous and welcoming, so I'm not going to complain. I think I should write the prayer down, just in case.

She helped me identify the crests on the doors. Apparently, four Lords live here and rule over the region. They're all dangerous, feared, and never show up. They all answer to Mother Miranda. So, not trustworthy. I'll give them each an entry. Luiza didn't want to tell me too much about them, and she looked really uncomfortable with my questions, so I didn't push it. I only have their names and house crests, but I'll figure out the rest later. I should also make an entry for Mother Miranda. Always nice to record infos about a cult leader.

She told me the monsters never set foot inside the village, because Miranda keeps them away. Not so sure about that last part, ma'am, but okay. And to be honest, I don't think everyone is a believer because I've seen big metal doors clolsed with chains more than I've seen birds here. And there are a lot of birds. So that says a lot.

__________________________________________

18h10

I almost arrived too late. But the night isn't completely settled yet, so I'm good. I'll go back to the doors tomorrow to draw the crests on the Lords' entries.

People here have electricity and guns, but no running water? Who's in charge of the logistic here?

In any case, I hope the gash on my arm won't get infected because I don't have antibiotics with me. And I'm almost out of disinfectant. At least I didn't have to redo the stitches. I should ask the Duke if he can find me some meds, just in case. Anyway, I'll start the entries, and tomorrow, I'll add their crests. Also, I need to update the bestiary.

[riceicecream]

1/4 Thank you! I could get fortified milk by having it shipped to my mum probably, but probably not enough to regularly eat cereal with it, especially with how heavy it'd be to transport just a few liters. At my everyday store they do have two vegan milks, but they're very watery and don't taste that good to begin with. I have eaten accidentally vegan cereal dry before, but that's not really a proper meal, either. As for multivitamins, I actually didn't take them with a meal, I just took them

2/4 with my regular meds in the morning (I don't really eat breakfast anymore) but honestly, I don't want to give it another shot as I already missed work twice because of it so it's just too risky for me. Not because I'd get fired or anything, I just like doing my job. Also, I've taken various "take with meal" meds without a meal before and was fine, which doesn't mean that wasn't the cause, but makes it seem less likely to me. After some research, I decided to order the gummies you recommended. 3/4 despite the price as they really seem to be the bee's knees and I'm currently in a position where I can afford them. And it's great to know that the mock meats will survive a few uncooled hours, that gives me a lot more options. I've never made a proper sandwich before though, what specifically would you recommend putting on it? Also, a new issue has arisen. There's a specific online store I was going to buy from, but then I discovered that they also sell vegan cat food which I obviously 4/4 can't agree with. I tried searching for other vegan stores but the ones I found either also sell vegan cat food or have a much smaller selection with hardly any of the things I want. One even openly supports PETA. I know that not wanting to buy from those stores makes me a hypocrite as I've ordered from Amazon before (who, btw, also offer vegan cat food, even marked as "Amazon's Choice") but I just feel like it's not something I should be supporting. Any advice on that?

Again thank you for getting back to me and I’m so sorry for taking ages to respond! I absolutely do not agree with vegan cat food either, there is no sufficient scientific evidence that shows cats can absorb all the essential proteins they need to live through supplements and I think it’s extremely irresponsible for someone to choose to take care of a carnivore and not feed it the diet it needs.

That being said, buying from a website that also sells something you don’t agree with is kind of a grey area and its up to you to draw the line. For example, I still shop at supermarkets that also sell meat and other animal products because it’s impractical not to. My goal is to not support those products directly, and to show with my money what kind of products I demand. But ultimately it depends on what you feel comfortable with morally, and I don’t think it’s wrong of you to either buy from the website, or choose not to.

I hope everything is going well with the vitamins, and the meals, and if you need anymore help please let me know! I’ll try to reply sooner this time 😅

[justcahttingtothevoidcat]

Midnight and Meteor's

Well, it's close to 2:30am on Thursday the 15th of September

I am listening to the weekly skews podcast on Youtube and Etti is lying on her soft blanket sleeping, Midnight is on his heater seat between the living and dining room.

Here's a wee run down of the past few days, I got a letter on Monday saying my MRI scan is on Friday which is super quick, sadly it's private which is how I've managed to get most of the health stuff done for me because apparently having awful back pain for 3 years isn't top of the list in fixing. It's your hEDS blah blah blah, you need physio (I went to physio, apparently their way to fix my upper back is by working on my core 🙄) just the usual bullshit that so many people with chronic illnesses/disabilities face. The NHS is great for acute medicine but awful for chronic things, the funding and structure and research just isn't there.

Midnight was sick on Tuesday, a few times, ending in the foamy stuff which concerned us but we knew things weren't right a few hours later when Etti started hissing at him. I think she is scared when she smells he is sick and her anxiety comes out as aggression. We kind of decided that we would see how the lad was in the morning and if needed call the vet.

Tuesday night I had my last Community Council meeting, which is bitter sweet. I joined in 2017 (I think) with the aim of helping the community and making some friends and I'm really not sure how well either turned out, certainly I didn't really make any friends, I was the youngest there by at least a decade though.

Mum and I were quite anxious that night because we realised it was likely the pancreas again and we did not want Midnight to suffer or feel horrid at all, I was worried that Etti would go for him, which she hasn't yet, I did hear M having some biscuits and water about 4am ish so after that I fell asleep,

Wednesday mum called the vet and they agreed to give him some meds so she went off and got them, M was upstairs in his hidey spot and Etti was really wanting to snuggle with me which I didn't mind. I did have to scoop her up and lock her in the loo with me while mum was trying to coax M out to get his meds though, he took them and felt better, ate, got tummy rubbles from me and chilled with us for the day. Then about 10ish this evening I saw what I thought was a white flair flying over the house and I jumped onto my feet wondering wtf was happening. I realised it was glowing green at the head so thought maybe it was a silent firework, turns out it was a meteor but I only realised that when I went on twitter.

Otherwise there's been some batshit things happening including people being arrested for holding signs against the monarchy or shouting at the known Paedophile Prince Andrew. How horrifying that in the UK(s) we can't have an opinion without being arrested!!!

The king fired his staff at the first opportunity, Norwich council tried to close a bike rack because it's in mourning!? Centre Parc's fucked up and tried to kick it's patrons out on the day of the funeral then told them they can stay but aren't allowed out their lodges.

Ukraine seems to be kicking Russia's arse, but given the state of the Russian army and army supplies that's not actually surprising. We should be so past this kind of warmongering but here we are. The World Met Org has put out a report showing how behind we are in stopping a 2'c rise, never mind a 1.5'c. I mean it's been 18/19 deg here in September and that seems so wrong to me. We are well into Autumn here on the west coast and it should not be this warm.

Do you know what feels so unreal to me, in 15 years I will be 50, 50!!!! I really feel like my bodies misadventures have just swiped my Youth right away. I kind of spiralled, wondered if I would ever have a family or be well enough to work. I feel a bit like the socialite daughter of a duke or something, not needing to work to survive because my family has wealth enough for me to survive on, except I don't do any socialising and am disabled and chronically unwell... I really feel so guilty about the circumstances I find myself in, despite having no say in any of it. I am grateful that my mum did a job she loved that happened to be well paid and it has allowed me to be in these circumstances. I am painfully aware how fortunate I am so it's this weird thing where you try to walk the line between gratitude at this and guilt that so many don't have the same help.

I literally have no plans for my life, every time I made one something happened that swiped it all away. Whether it was wanting to do something with History or later Primary school teaching and then Counselling. I started to do the work and then Bam sickness, then Bam someone else is dying/dead. It's been non-stop, I was watching a funeral director show on Netflix and the guy was Irish in Eire and said that most people encounter death every 11 years, I wish!!!

Now poor Shuggie is sick, that's my dad's bff. He has lung cancer, likely stage 3 and I so hope his cancer is treatable. He is such a lovely soul and he has had a tough time of it, particularly the last few years, he lost a sister to Covid and then another to a Brain aneurism so close to each other. His wife Irene is a darling, she is so talented, she could make anything, really she is brilliant like that. Their two kids Grant and April are fab too, poor April is in NZ and would love to come home, but she can't afford to because her husband is not a UK citizen which is just awful, I really can't imagine how difficult this must all be for her.

I know we all have a time to die, but he is only 72 and it just feels so awful. He's a fighter though, he's had to be, so I hope he pulls through and lives a long life into his 90s and beyond.

It's certainly been a week Cat.

[catt-lune]

dry bleed wings

It recorded in the middle of the new day a month after when our scene was made, when our stars united as one, when the bitter of my first coffee tasted like a heavenly breeze; sweet and sparkling.

All the recording played in my head like a movie, how the first time we stood up on the middle of the balcony to look at the starry night and wishing them upon our dreams to be together for a lifetime, how we spent the entire day in different path of this earth to see the love and thunder in our world, how you keep asking the new stock of noodles bar next to your homestay and silently bought it so no one would be disappointed with that decision, how we keep arguing whether giving the whole universe to each others and no one would ever want to lose in that battlefield, how our first kiss under the moonlight when my fever even won't get better at all but your arms wrapped me all safely inside your embrace.

She took her heavily breathe while holding her pen, looking at the clock in the corner of the room and holding her chest before continuing to scrabble her words with her new ink.

Those are some of the pieces that broke inside my head that happened like a car crash. How couple hours before, you still wrapped your scarfs around me to protect me from the cold spell around, you still skipped your sight over your screen to talked with me and ruffled my hair softly, you still listened to my rambles when I was telling you about my new medicine that I got from my pharmacy earlier of the day. Everything was all... fine.

How thing switched in the blink of eyes, how the ice glass breaking like a whole mountain and scattered it into the old wound to make another new scars and keep bleeding into a lake of suffering, how the faith was broken just like that, how the trust was ruined like a whole lot of thunderstorms in my mind and sorrowful in my chest.

“I love your smile, I love the constellation in your eyes. You are a precious gift of this broken world. I love you whole and I am so lucky to have you.” One of the line of your letter that you gave me earlier of the day; how it became the most beautiful letter I ever read and someone has ever written for me, along the broken record of the scene that I wish I could never seen and experienced. At that day, at that moment. You left... You left me.

It hurts, but it happened.

It was a cliché tragedy that probably happened in anyone’s life but it would be a huge amount of breaking ice berg in my plate— how I and people trusted you that bad. My body was trembling endlessly for few days even after I took my meds to make me feel better, but it didn't work for a whole week and I didn't know how to survive, at least to survive for myself.

You walked through that door without any goodbye or even tried to asked our friends about me. I put the whole boundaries around me not because I don't want to see you, but I can't — I even can't see your friends and your family around me. And seeing you that close will make my condition getting worse. I need to do that because no one would do it sincerely for the sake of myself. I don't know when will it get better but I always give myself tomorrow and I will take that chance.

And today, a month after our scene was made like you said; how being in love with me like living your first life... I still haven't heard any news about you or you even didn't try to reach me and know what I have been doing. I’ve been drowning in this lake of suffering for a whole month after the separation and you didn't bother yourself to find me and work my emotion along with you.

The aftermath guided me to that I couldn't see good intentions from person again. How that scene repeatedly happened in my head, how bad I am scared it will happen for the numerous times. It makes my whole feets cold and wake up gasping for air every morning since the nightmare keep coming and it feels like hell. You don't know any of this, you never care... you never care at all. You never care for me and my well-being. You never care from the very first start.

We made the wings altogether from starch to fly away in the middle of the constellation in the sky, but you are the one who breaking it and wouldn't ever buried it into ashes in the peaceful place they supposed to be. They all get dried and died by their own. Those tragedies happened and you still aren't here. Where have you been? Where are you?

You said you love me, you said that, countless times... Numerous night and morning. But if you loved me, why did you hurt me? Could you even answer that?

S. R.

[beukefarm]

Long time no see everyone.

I regret to inform you that I do not bring good news. In fact, there's few news regarding the topics of this blog which could be considered worse.

Let's cut to the chase: Early died.

Our very first chicken, the one that Fuchs had to help out of the egg, that survived against all odds, died because of a stupid accident.

She was almost 5 months old. She was doing well. But the bloody sleeping perch moved, and her leg got stuck. Fuchs's dad found her in the morning. We don't know how long she'd been there, tearing at her leg, no escape in sight. He took her home. She was still alive, but didn't look like it. Careful, the following image could be disturbing. I swear on everything that is holy to me that she is still very much alive in this picture.

However, as you can probably tell, she was incredibly unwell. Dehydrated, in pain, just plain tired from a night spent in panic and agony. We took her to the vet, because of course we did, this was our baby.

Did you know that it costs 50 euros to xray a chicken? Now you do. They said it wasn't broken, but there was massive swelling on the joint, it looked horrible, thick and blue and not at all like something that could heal. But we wanted to try.

They gave us pain meds, and off we went.

The first few days were awful. Early couldn't stand at all, her and the box we kept her in had to be cleaned every couple of hours. But she was eating and drinking, and making noises. After three days, we stopped thinking she died everytime she closed her eyes.

From then on, everything seemed fine. It was an incredibly slow process, but it seemed like she regained more and more control over her legs with every passing day. After a week she could sit for a couple seconds, after two she was standing up every couple minutes, very wobbly, but standing nonetheless. We were hopeful.

Last week, after almost a month of recovery time, she was taking a few steps at the time. One problem- she was only able to walk, or rather stumble, backwards. We didn't know why.

I wasn't there over the weekend, so I can only recount what Fuchs told me. She declined rapidly. Wasn't making any attempts to walk, refused food and water. Yesterday, he took her to the vet.

Depsite all our efforts, and all the apparent progress she'd made over the past month, it was all in vain. The vet said that she'd lost all feeling in her legs. She'd never walk again. And a chicken without legs might not be a dead, but for sure a rather unhappy one. Additionally, despite not having feeling in her feet, she could, apperantly, still feel her joint, aka the location of the injury.

A life of pain, but without payoff?

The decision was clear, thought that didn't make it easier.

I'm currently studying for a rather important exam, otherwise I would have been there. Can't have everything.

Yesterday, at 1926, I got the message. She'd been put down.

I'd been expecting it, and so I didn't cry. I simply carried on with my evening. Planetside with the lads. Vodka late at night.

They buried her today. In the garden, near the pen. What pains me most is that she never saw her friends again. Did you know that chickens are incredibly social creatures? They know eachother, and they can really like eachother. These were her siblings, her hatchmates.

At least she had the company of her parent. All of them had imprinted on Fuchs, since he was the one who raised them after their hatching. She probably saw him as her mother. I try to hold onto that thought. The image of her dying alone is a tragic one, and not one I want to give power to.

Losing a chicken, moreso our very first one, was a sobering experience.

Early was a good hen. She was never mean to the newcomers, (looking at you Häkkinen), she pecked peas out of our hands, and sat on our shoulders whenever we brought shrimp to the pen. Her feathers were soft, and her syrinx was strong. She will be missed.

(image description in alt text)

[marie1-kersaint]

K1.0 yanked mom’s picture away

https://www.facebook.com/share/JAKs37VGzkXzWViG/?mibextid=WC7FNe (https://www.facebook.com/share/JAKs37VGzkXzWViG/?mibextid=WC7FNe)

Sent from my iPhone

Even roaches 🪳 little ants 🐜 don't stand still and be bullied 🐂, 🦵 away and killed WITHOUT TRYING

GOD PUT THAT desperate survival mode inside us

A live dog is better than a dead lion 🦁

GOOD JOB 👏 ON SENDING K1.0, nice concise to the point respectful (by yanking MOM’s picture out and telling me she doesn’t like that and don’t put it back out) Possibly The first time in years she'd ever talked to me. You say hello 👋 no one hears. The F words almost always

https://kjbo.org/Matthew-22-15/ (https://kjbo.org/Matthew-22-15/)

Please 🙏 if someone from the school text me or sent me a note that Mom’s picture outside may hurt K1.0   or her grades. i will not take it out anymore.   While cleaning 🧼 Mom's room one day she'd gone to chiropractor, i noticed and thought k1.0 loves mirrors BUT WHERE TO PLACE IT?

BUT last Wednesday or Tuesday i thought near tv 📺 by front door and i picked it up and it was this latest battle in this war.

I DON’T TRUST YOU‼️

it could be another power 💪 play like the rehearsal Thursday 031424 8:43 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME even if one of them assaults and i defend myself

Or chiding me for glittering the place NOW HOPEFULLY INSTEAD OF LATE ⏰ FOOD or bishop pastor serge jerome had a more important funeral✝️the storm✝️business ✝️Easter and Christmas 🎅 are the biggest draw 💰

They can complain about glitter on their clothes

2014 “well, she gave you a place to stay” Saturday “well it’s been 9 years,  GO”

Which scares me 😱 to no end when feeds 🆎 how a guy kept slipping his brother's pregnant girlfriend abortion pills 💊 until the baby died and "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO KILL SOMEONE"

WHICH OF THE 3 CHIPMUNKS WILL GET A BETTER "head" bad words. galore

The list goes on and the bad words and i know that i am likely to call the regulations KGB

Can't @PBCSHERRIF or @FBI @FCC can regulate YouTube, TikTok feeds, contents, age

@highlightPBSO - Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office

FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation

FBI

Federal Communications help us investigate what our kids are watching

Like i said i am exposed here, my food, my water they are of great size and many. That kind of stress wears the heart out.

To be 🆙 watching people whose not in your corner 👀 @4u

Yesterday 1:37 am lights, doors opened,closed

i don’t know who coached K3.0 to sniff and sniff and sitting close to me sniffing UNTIL afternoon the cure come and sniffing stopped and kicking kersaint out did not work. (i briefly passed by library 📚 Planet Fitness 💪

i am impervious to her sniffing now. i have been played too long

One Friday i kept going to car changing skirts because the top that i changed into i think was 1 of K2.0 's old Tshirts

My heart was breaking, and i knew i took a shower the morning

When i came in after Mom’s October Hospital @wellingtonRegionalmedicalCenter 🏥 stay, i WAS AMAZING 1 of GINA’s kids showed feelings. i said ‘you’re giving me a big head’

“'Anti' kersaint is here” i prefer just Kersaint🙏

It turned out you wanted me to go against my beliefs. I WANTED MOM TO GO TO PLANETFITNESS.com 🌎 💪. TO TRY TO DO THINGS FOR HERSELF. I DON’T WANT HER IN BED UNTIL 1 or 3 PM

i don’t want DOROTHY TO COME TO @WELLIMGTONREGIONALMEMORIALCENTER

Wellington Fl to clean 🧼 🧽 mom up

i set up doctors appointments and rides BUT THEY WERE CANCELLED

"MOM HAS PRIVATE CAR"

i want Mom to drive in salem community church of God in their vans 🚐 so she can find newly come Haitian to talk to

Sent from my iPhone 📲

In PSL jeeringly "YEAH🙄YOU HAVE SOMETHINGTO LIVE FOR"

"SUZIE MADE A BIG MISTAKE USING THAT LAPBAND"

Yes, every good move is full of regrets, and possible infections and lots of other meds BUT she knew how she felt and the cost and losses BUT SHE LIKED AND WAS COMFORTABLE WITH THAT BODY

SUZIE just has to find a safer, better alternative (after all these years there must be something safer, fewer side effects)

i believe this verse even before i read it

https://kjbo.org/Ecclesiastes-9-4/ (https://kjbo.org/Ecclesiastes-9-4/)

Since DOROTHY and KATHY are associated with PBC schools 🏫 & programs, if you send me text or email stating remembering her grandmother may "hurt her school work" and she goes to church ⛪️ with her mom until at least the first day of summer 2024... OFF COURSE I WILL GET RID OF MOM's PICTURE LIKE YOU WANT IT

i thought of keeping it until the🆕 owner, realtor or sheriff threatening fines that i cannot pay 💰 or the neighbors complain (not being laminat

ed 😢it looks shabby, messy, and ugly ) YOU TOOK CARE OF MOM in life and THROUGH DEATH. i cannot cry for #MICHAELJACKSON

#SACHATCHADSTEALTHMACHVASHTIMOSEYSACHATCHAD

#MARIEELIARINTUSSDEMOSTHENES who’s going to MEANINGFULLY comfort me and make me stop 🛑 crying 😭 and not go 👎 into depression (forgetting that a live dog is better than a dead lion 🦁) then forget to just keep going keep fighting

i cannot have “a shrine” (it might become idolatrous) BUT i don't want to forget her too like LINDA

[marie1-kersaint]

https://www.facebook.com/share/JAKs37VGzkXzWViG/?mibextid=WC7FNe

Sent from my iPhone

Even roaches 🪳 little ants 🐜 don't stand still and be bullied 🐂 and killed without trying

GOD PUT THAT desperate survival mode inside us

A live dog is better than a dead lion 🦁

GOOD JOB 👏 ON SENDING K1.0, nice concise to the point respectful (by yanking MOM’s picture out and telling me she doesn’t like that and don’t put it back out) Possibly The first time in years she'd ever talked to me. You say hello 👋 no one hears. The F words almost always

https://kjbo.org/Matthew-22-15/

Please 🙏 if someone from the school text me or sent me a note that Mom’s picture outside may hurt K1.0 or her grades. i will not take it out anymore. While cleaning 🧼 Mom's room one day she'd gone to chiropractor, i noticed and thought k1.0 loves mirrors BUT WHERE TO PLACE IT?

BUT last Wednesday or Tuesday i thought near tv 📺 by front door and i picked it up and it was this latest battle in this war.

I DON’T TRUST YOU‼️

it could be another power 💪 play like the rehearsal Thursday 031424 8:43 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME even if one of them assaults and i defend myself

Or chiding me for glittering the place NOW HOPEFULLY INSTEAD OF LATE ⏰ FOOD or bishop pastor serge jerome had a more important funeral✝️the storm✝️business ✝️Easter and Christmas 🎅 are the biggest draw 💰

They can complain about glitter on their clothes

2014 “well, she gave you a place to stay” Saturday “well it’s been 9 years, GO”

Which scares me 😱 to no end when feeds 🆎 how a guy kept slipping his brother's pregnant girlfriend abortion pills 💊 until the baby died and "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO KILL SOMEONE"

WHICH OF THE 3 CHIPMUNKS WILL GET A BETTER "head" bad words. galore

The list goes on and the bad words and i know that i am likely to call the regulations KGB

Can't @PBCSHERRIF or @FBI @FCC can regulate YouTube, TikTok feeds, contents, age

@highlightPBSO - Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office

FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation

FBI

Federal Communications help us investigate what our kids are watching

Like i said i am exposed here, my food, my water they are of great size and many. That kind of stress wears the heart out.

To be 🆙 watching people whose not in your corner 👀 @4u

Yesterday 1:37 am lights, doors opened,closed

i don’t know who coached K3.0 to sniff and sniff and sitting close to me sniffing UNTIL afternoon the cure come and sniffing stopped and kicking kersaint out did not work. (i briefly passed by library 📚 Planet Fitness 💪

i am impervious to her sniffing now. i have been played too long

One Friday i kept going to car changing skirts because the top that i changed into i think was 1 of K2.0 's old Tshirts

My heart was breaking, and i knew i took a shower the morning

When i came in after Mom’s October Hospital @wellingtonRegionalmedicalCenter 🏥 stay, i WAS AMAZING 1 of GINA’s kids showed feelings. i said ‘you’re giving me a big head’

“'Anti' kersaint is here” i prefer just Kersaint🙏

It turned out you wanted me to go against my beliefs. I WANTED MOM TO GO TO PLANETFITNESS.com 🌎 💪. TO TRY TO DO THINGS FOR HERSELF. I DON’T WANT HER IN BED UNTIL 1 or 3 PM

i don’t want DOROTHY TO COME TO @WELLIMGTONREGIONALMEMORIALCENTER

Wellington Fl to clean 🧼 🧽 mom up

i set up doctors appointments and rides BUT THEY WERE CANCELLED

"MOM HAS PRIVATE CAR"

i want Mom to drive in salem community church of God in their vans 🚐 so she can find newly come Haitian to talk to

Sent from my iPhone 📲

In PSL jeeringly "YEAH🙄YOU HAVE SOMETHINGTO LIVE FOR"

"SUZIE MADE A BIG MISTAKE USING THAT LAPBAND"

Yes, every good move is full of regrets, and possible infections and lots of other meds BUT she knew how she felt and the cost and losses BUT SHE LIKED AND WAS COMFORTABLE WITH THAT BODY

SUZIE just has to find a safer, better alternative (after all these years there must be something safer, fewer side effects)

i believe this verse even before i read it

https://kjbo.org/Ecclesiastes-9-4/

Since DOROTHY and KATHY are associated with PBC schools 🏫 & programs, if you send me text or email stating remembering her grandmother may "hurt her school work" and she goes to church ⛪️ with her mom until at least the first day of summer 2024... OFF COURSE I WILL GET RID OF MOM's PICTURE LIKE YOU WANT IT

i thought of keeping it until the🆕 owner, realtor or sheriff threatening fines that i cannot pay 💰 or the neighbors complain (not being laminated 😢it looks shabby) YOU TOOK CARE OF MOM in life and THROUGH DEATH. i cannot have a shrine BUT i don't want to forget her too like LINDA