#i just think you should give more grace to a 22 year old for having stupid takes or whatever
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
futurefishy · 8 months ago
Text
the thing is there *is* something to be said for acknowledging that there is no clear, universal boundary between childhood and adulthood. There has, is, and always will be a foggy grey area of where adulthood starts, and for legal reasons we have to draw that line somewhere, and there are arguments around where that line should be, and for what things.
[as i understand it from what i was taught in uni] people in their early 20s have some of the same impulsivity and impaired decision making as teenagers, and by your mid-to-late 20s that goes away, because frontal lobe development is still going on in a big way. *obviously* your brain is never "done" developing, you can learn new things at any age and brain plasticity diminishes over time but never completely goes away (hence why its much *easier* to learn at a younger age but learning doesn't stop at any point).
BUT none of that information is actually a reason to restrict the rights of young people any more than they already are. Its messy, and often only presented from a biological/physiological perspective, when its just as possible the reason we see that development and increase in perceived maturity between 18 and 25 is that those are the years during which (at least in developed, western states where most of this research takes place) there is a big increase in independence. I'm 25 right now. I didn't feel particularly "grown up" until I was maybe 24. But that could be because by that point, I'd gotten, worked at, and been made redundant from one job, and had started at another. There's just a lot of *life* that happens between 18 and 25, so of course you come out of that more mature. But someone else could have had that experience at 18, or 15, or 30, or whatever. And while I feel more mature now, I wasn't incapable of making important decisions before now. I made important decisions throughout my teens and early adulthood that I cannot take back, and that is true of literally every person who has ever lived on planet earth.
I think the brain development angle matters less than maybe we think it does, because the argument TERFs are making is *incredibly* disingenuous (like all their arguments). No one is proposing that we change the voting age from 18 to 25, that we change the drinking or smoking age from 18 to 25, that we change the age of consent from *16* to 25, that we change the age to get a tattoo from 18 to 25 or that we change the age to consent to any *non-transition related healthcare* from "it depends [1]" to 25. Ffs, in the UK the age of criminal responsibility is *10*. A 10 year old is deemed mature enough to suffer legal consequences, but JKR's bezzie mates aren't taking to twitter to demand that little billy isn't old enough to understand the ramifications of shoplifting from sainsbury's.
[1] officially the age to consent to your own medical care is 16, but the UK has this thing called "Gillick competancy", where, on a case-by-case basis, a doctor can decide if someone under 16 is competent enough to overrule parental consent. This was put into question *by TERFs* in the Bell v Tavistock case, in which the court seemed to imply that trans children were not Gillick competent as a matter of demographic, which as you can imagine caused some debate from legal scholars (because "this law applies differently to X demographic" is a fucking insane thing for a judge to imply). Gillick competency is a very important legal standard, both for children's rights and (actual, not trans excluding radical) feminists because it allows children with restrictive/bigoted/stupid parents to access health care on their own e.g. getting an abortion, accessing contraception (like the pill/IUD etc.), getting vaccines if their parents are weirdo anti-vaxxers, getting tested for STIs, or any other medical treatment they don't want their parents to know about for whatever reason.
I honestly believe transphobes would have gone for adult transition care whether this "not done developing til 25" idea existed or not. They were already going for it, whether by making GIC wait lists so long that many people *die* having never had a first appointment, or JKR's stupid "award winning" article where she claimed a lot of trans men were just "poor, confused autistic girls" because of course she had to throw some ableism in there and say autistic people are too stupid to make our own decisions. Whether its death by bureaucracy or a return to "transness is a mental illness", they are and were attacking transition for adults either way. The brain development thing is just a convenient add-on to their "think of the children" shit. Its been said before by many many people (because its right), TERFs are just recycling 80s Thatcher fear-mongering about gay men, because things are getting worse and everyone loves a scapegoat. I don't think its a coincidence that there's a "think of the children" panic as child poverty sky-rockets in this country. "Think of the children" but don't think about the real problem, think about this imagined threat from a societal other.
The transphobe, but especially TERF, preoccupation with "irreversible damage" is, I think, insincere; or if sincere, very, very ,very stupid. Probably both. Everything is irreversible at the end of the day. Life is irreversible.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
6K notes · View notes
3416 · 2 months ago
Note
I really love equally 16-34-88.
It’s interesting the interchanging of the attitude of the fans and media towards William and Mitch.
For years, William was criticized over and over again. His relaxed and laid back attitude. His game. And his contract year back in 2018, he was in those trenches. And anyone who said anything positive about him was called crazy. And also, Don Cherry and his low key like discriminatory remarks due to the fact that he was Swedish and not the tough goon kind of playing style. He was also kind of the « guinea pig » (always changing line mates, and lines—and last year we saw that too, he’s always moving and they always throw new stuff) and he was , out of the core, the punching bag.
Now, Mitchy has always been criticized because of the toxic hyper masculine mindset of many hockey fans: he’s boyish and not buff and tough and all that jazz. But, he never got the hate and disrespect that he is getting at the end of last season and right now. He was however still well liked and respected and was often associated to Auston and scene in a more favorable light. He was second to Auston in the « it » boy factor. If this NHL documentary was made 2-3 years ago, Mitch would have been considered.
If you would have told that the Toronto fans and media would be all over William two seasons ago, I would have laughed. Like never would I have thought that I would see the day where people would actually give him credit and actually respect him and see the great things he adds. I love seeing that , but at what cost? For Mitch to become the punching bag of the team?
Fans are now saying how amazing Willy is and now figuring out that he is a good player and cool. But those same fans, a couple years ago were dragging him through the mud saying how useless he was and how he needed to get traded. And they liked Mitch. And they respected him. But now, you’ve « always hated Mitch Marner », « He should be traded ».
And I fear that it will always be this: once Mitch will be in the public’s good graces, something with William will happen and back to Mitch. It’s always been like this and will always stay this way. I don’t know why, I guess that’s the dynamic the city chose.
Even when it came to the core’s contracts: Willy and Mitchy always get this EXTRA je ne sais quoi. Like this extra negative energy and they can never satisfy anyone. They are greedy weaklings or whatever.
Also, I was thinking about Auston captaincy and it reminded me about how he was heavily considered in 2019 but the whole allegations and the story about him harassing this woman when he was drunk ruined that chance. And, people did criticize him and he got scrutinized. But, it kind of, I think, it fizzled away pretty quickly within the Toronto scene considering how heavy that story was. It doesn’t haunt him.
Now, if it was Mitch or William, people would bring it up and it would tarnish them way more. They could not escape it.
Sorry for the long ass rant, it’s just so funny and frustrating: if one gains recognition, the other one has to go down.
gonna start out by saying i don't think mitch/auston/other ppl weren't asked about the doc. i think they're way more private esp in a time that was gearing up for the playoffs, lol. and i think anyone with a brain right now knows mitch is still the second best player on the leafs. everyone just gets high off point totals alone from the prior seasons.. like i seriously saw ppl claiming matthew tkachuk would be drafted higher than auston after the 22-23 season, lolll.
i agree there's a divide about them in the coverage and i have a lot of thoughts of my own about this too. i'm not a longterm leafs fan beyond the past couple of years so i can't speak to how willy or mitch were treated before 2022 beyond old headlines/stuff i've seen but not lived through, but i've definitely been here for the shift about mitch lately and well...
i think some of it is by virtue of them playing the same position. everyone 'has an issue' with the core 4 (ive never understood who the fuck the core 4 even refers to.. sometimes its about the forwards, sometimes its about the leadership group flkdjsklf... whatever fits the current narrative ig) being all forwards and taking up the cap bc that's not 'proven', but it's such a bullshit excuse. i think if you look at their contract situations of the past, willy did a lot of things mitch is getting shit for now, lol. he did hold out into the season for money while mitch gets lambasted for using that as a negotiation tactic (which again.. i wasnt around for those negotiations and i get it was ugly to ... leak or use public perception or whatever but) on those first contracts. willy's father was also involved in his holding out in the most recent negotiations but that's not smth i see thrown around at him despite every comment under every post about mitch including paul's name without him so much as uttering the word contract, lol. it's frustrating to me to see the double standards at this point. i understand longtime fans have lived through shit about willy, but i have a hard time imagining the vitriol levels of right now being topped. it's just every single day about every single thing compounded by the fact that leafs fans have even less hope than they used to bc of how many years in a row they've lost.
i admittedly don't love them equally at all, and if anything, the fanfare about willy the past year has made me like him less. it's not really his fault but i do think he's slightly overpaid now (and watching ppl now claim mitch has to take willys deal or less is hilarious) and overhyped for what he actually brings. his playoff stats are being overrated too. since it all comes at a cost to mitch in the media, it's been way worse to watch for me and unavoidable that i come away feeling negative about him, lol.
i'd be interested to see if the tides ever do turn back toward willy now that he's bulked up, grown facial hair, proven he can score with an up-to-this-point useless clutchness. i doubt they will, but i have a hard time envisioning what's gonna happen after mitch signs an extension and who will become the scapegoat w players locked up for more years. the constant hate has to get exhausting at some point, right? like jflkjdsklf... but not with leaf fans so who knows what will happen. i can't really say what would have happened if mitch or willy were ever involved in scandal like that, but i think if it happened right now, ppl would be ready to forgive willy for anything and sentence mitch to death over nothing so. some people were blaming him for his own carjacking when it happened like.. lol. i can't see into the future but all i know is i'm VERY fed up with the way coverage and reaction is right now. and i don't even think the media is an accurate depiction of how a lot of fans feel about any of it, but if it's hammered home enough... idk.
#easks#sorry this isnt a hate post but a more.. fed up post klfdj#its funny to read all the things ppl think abt mitch when like they actually apply to willy in some ways#but for some reason we're pivoting back to aloof n chill being the cool thing to be fkld#and caring being overrated.. even tho the leafs tagline is passion? but not like that !#still think mitchs game is vastly more mature versatile and consistent#saw someone call willy a 2 way superstar to start the summer and im like. oh so we are just saying anything now lol#i think ppl are bad at evaluating beyond just points lol#saying last yr was consistent for him when he put up 4 points in the last month of play is simply a lie. he was inconsistent but productive#more than hes ever been. and yet still didnt play great defensively#acting like he for some reason has a higher ceiling now bc he ? has still never had a season as good as mitch despite being a year older is#so incredibly funny to me#i get that this is all very reactionary to the leafs mediascape rn but i cant help it bro#its absurd imo when mitch ended up w a higher ppg than willy by the end of the season#sorry again. no hate to him just like. the overcorrection n overhype is absurd#the constant comparison is absurd too i agree but its baked into the toronto experience apparently#also part of the reason i love that theyre trying him at center lol. like fjklds gonna make him worth the 11.5#and also maybe cease the winger comparisons . n get him to buy into paying more attention defensively#anhway... JIFNKDMLS good night.
7 notes · View notes
hoodlander · 4 months ago
Text
Finally finished Season 4.
My thoughts:
Karl Urban looking fine as fuck even though Butcher is supposed to be dying.
And Colby Minifie is looking hot as hell this season, not sure what it is.
Overall, a strong finale.
The writing for the entire season has been all over the place though. If there was ever an argument for going back to the 22 episode seasons - this is it.
So many heel-turns that happened too fast.
And I felt like half the season sacrificed good writing for stupid shock value gags. Shocking scenes should have a place in the narrative, but not just added to try and shock the audience for no reason.
I love Hughie. I really love him. He was going through it this season. I am disappointed in Kripke and the other writers for thinking the Tek Knight stuff was funny and not seeing it for what it was. That is was the same thing that Deep did to Annie in S1. I am disgusted when male SA is not taken seriously in media.
And then the triple whammy with the shifter. Hughie needs a damn break.
I think Erin Moriarty did an amazing job with shifter!Annie though. She was brilliant to watch.
Frenchie and Kimiko’s storylines this season made little sense to me and didn’t progress their characters. I’m glad the writer’s back tracked the ‘platonic soulmates’ thing and made Frenchie/Kimiko genuinely happen. If you want to do platonic that’s fine, but not after what they went through for 3 seasons and how they behaved with each other. Glad that was rectified.
I love MM. And A-Train’s redemption arc was the strongest arc of the season for me. It was the best written imo.
The Deep has wanted to be BFF’s with Homelander since S1. Loved seeing him doubling down on getting that friendship bracelet. RIP Ambrosius. She was the one Deep. She truly, truly loved you you stupid fuck.
I like Firecracker, she is interesting. Having her doing things for Homelander out of gratitude and respect instead of attraction was very refreshing. And I love how she and Deep are Homelander’s Ride or Dies. Whenever I see the three of them together all I see are Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, and Karen Smith.
New Noir is baby. Love him. As much as I miss Old Noir, this was a good way to progress the character and give Nathan Mitchell more to do. Loved his fight with the Boys as they reacted to him flying and talking.
Sage is fantastic. I love her. And her final scene with Homelander was brilliant. Like, yes girl come get your sad murder chihuahua he needs to go back in your purse.
And finally…
Grace really be making Homelander look like a #1 Dad.
Great idea, threatening arguably the second most powerful supe on the planet with imprisonment. I feel like she expected Ryan to be as easily radicalized as Billy. Then didn’t know how to handle his need for space. Like, kid just got a bomb dropped on him and needs to think. She couldn’t even give him that.
Whereas Homelander lets him go after their fights. He gives him space. And so far, he has shown Ryan genuine affection as much as he is capable of giving. If Ryan does go back to him in S5, which I think he will, Homelander will accept him back but then have to deal with some hard questions.
Ryan lashing out at Grace was expected honestly. She was going to gas him. He was already emotionally charged. He didn’t look happy or sad after her death. And if Billy only sees Ryan as Becca’s son if he kills Homelander then his love comes with conditions.
Grace and Butcher both fucked up.
Billy killing Victoria and putting his faith in the virus was short-sighted on his part. Vic could have helped them with the long game.
And ultimately the supe virus is a temporary genocide.
A virus only works when it has something to infect. If it kills every supe then Vought just needs to wait a few years to make sure the virus is gone and then start dosing more babies. And the cycle starts again. Vought could potentially find a vaccine for the virus as well.
The thing The Boys have to destroy is Compound V. And every Vought scientist that can recreate it by memory.
As long as Compound V exists there will always be Supes.
15 notes · View notes
csprslvt · 1 year ago
Text
teachers aide pt 2.
Chapter 2
Summary: a peaceful class is ruined
Warnings: mentions of drug use, owen is the worst, foul language
It was almost every day now, that you snuck into Ellie’s dorm smoking your worries away. You never seem to get tired of her chill attitude and calming words when you vented about certain little things that bothered you, and she could never grow tired of you. She thought your complaints were humorous, she laughed and smiled at you adoringly. At this point she wasn't hiding her not so little crush at all, but there was a simple boundary of “Don't ask, don't tell” between the two of you. And so, she was yet to confess. Though she wanted to make her feelings known she felt like it was unrequited, and for certain couldn't handle the heartbreak, especially when she saw you for class almost every day. It would be incredibly awkward to confess, be rejected and then see you as her teacher's aide.
So, she would gladly take whatever she could get, and if that meant being your dealer and totally platonic cuddle buddy, she was okay with it. For now, it was enough.
Abby on the other hand, preened for your attention. She became more vocal in class, gentler, kind, she seemed to think she had made you uncomfortable in the past, so she completely kept her remarks under control. She was a little jealous of Ellie, the two of you seemed so close, your conversations were less stiff and to the trained eye, almost familiar. Still, you had an image to keep up, being 22, almost graduating and trying to be taken seriously in a class full of 19–21-year-olds you wanted to make a good impression for your future.
Today in physics, you had a lab, cosmic shower array reconstruction. You were leading the lesson, talking adamantly to the class.
“Okay, the high energy protons and atomic nuclei that move through space with light and speed are called…?”
“Cosmic rays!” the class filled in.
“Correct, today we will be attempting a cosmic ray shower array reconstruction. Now everyone should have their computers ready to go and a notebook. Is anyone missing either of those things?”
Silence.
“Great! Please open the web browser written on the board. After that we will be creating a map grid to represent the site being hit by cosmic rays. If you do not know how to do this, just yell and I’ll come to you.”
No one said a word except for Ellie.
“Y/n, help.” she said with a lazy smile gracing her features. You caught Abby’s eyes on you as you approached Ellie.
“Ellie, you know how to do this.”
“I know how to do it…when I'm sober.” She whispered. You looked around before responding, “If I have to come to class sober, so do you.”
Ellie giggled,” You gonna help me or not?”
Once talking a very high Ellie through creating a map grid, you returned to the front of the lab.
“Anyone else?”
Silence once again.
“Perfect! Now as you can see, the areas hit by cosmic rays are shown by color circles. Is everyone on the same page?”
There were a variety of nods and murmurs in agreement, you smiled, class was going suspiciously smooth so far.
“Now all we have to do is create a graph of the time map versus intensity, after that analyze the data. I will give you all some time to do so, again if you have any questions at all please do not hesitate to ask. I'm here to help!” You smiled reassuringly at no one in particular, you heard a few yes ma'ams and okays in the audience. Owen had not bothered you yet today, so you considered the lab successful so far. After a while you could tell the class was waiting for more instruction with an uprise of off topic conversations.
“Seems like we are all set with that step, agreed?”
No one said otherwise so you continued, Ellie actually seemed very interested in the cosmic rays and was playing around with the placement sites.
“Since we are all familiar with REXTOR software, you'll use that to reconstruct the rays. After that, create a lateral distribution function plot. Examples of which are on the board as are the instructions so you can all take it at your own pace. Lastly, record your observations and we are all set!”
The class seemed happy with the lighter workload, you assigned smaller, more personal lessons than the Professor. It's probably why they listened so well to you. You walked around the lab, helping students who called for you with great patience and smiles. Days like these reminded you of why you loved your job. Everything was going so perfect, too perfect. That was until Owen opened his stupid mouth.
“Abby it's really not that serious, ask her out.” He was supposed to be whispering but he was loud enough to get other students' attention, Abby turned to him and flushed.
“Owen, shut the fuck up!”
“C’mon Abs just do it, or I’ll call her over.”
“Oh my god Owen I swear to god I will fucking beat you ass if you do.”
Mel was in between the two, holding in laughter, you pretended to not hear them.
“I'm doing you a favor… y/n! Over here!”
God fucking damn it Owen.
“Owen shut up oh my god!” Abby immediately faced the other direction, clicking random buttons on her computer as if she was focused.
“Y/n!” Owen spoke loudly, multiple people turned to face you, you internally groaned and walked over to him. You couldn't ignore him now.
“Is something the matter?” You spoke softly, using fake interest.
“Abby has to ask you a question.”
“Oh my god.” Abby mumbled, face totally and utterly red.
You turned to Abby, playing dumb.
“Are you having trouble with the lab?”
The caring, gentle look in your eyes caught Abby off guard. She could stare at you forever; she was completely and totally mesmerized by you.
“Uh..yea! Yea yea uhm I was wondering-”
“She was wondering if she could take you out on a date.” Owen said with a stupid smirk you wanted to slap off his face. You could feel your entire body heating up with embarrassment, Abby's pale skin turned bright peach and glared at Owen, seeming genuinely pissed off.
You took the awkward silence as a cue to walk away. Ellie gave you an amused look, and you hoped she hadn't heard the entire conversation. As well as everyone else in the entire class.
After recovering from the interaction which took about 40 entire minutes, class came to an end. Everyone logged off and Abby was giving Owen the silent treatment while Mel sat there uncomfortably in between them. Just as you were preparing to leave Abby pulled you aside. “Hi, can we talk for a second?” she was fidgeting with her hands, large muscles slightly flexing with every movement.
“Sure!” You said, trying to be welcoming. As the rest of the class cleared the lab Ellie gave you a look. She already knew you would be visiting her again later.
“I'm really sorry about Owen, he's always in people business.”
“Yea, I've noticed, I appreciate the apology.”
“What he said was entirely inappropriate and I'm, like, super pissed at him.” Abby was trying her best to seem genuine, she really did feel like Owen’s behavior was foul.
“Thanks Abby.” You didn't really know what else to say.
“But I would like to take you out, to make up for the humiliation. Just lunch or something, wherever you would like, on me.”
Your eyebrows raised in surprise, “I don't know it that is-”
“If you're questioning it being appropriate or suitable, I would argue that sneaking out of Ellie Williams’ dorm at 6 am is also inappropriate and not suitable.” Abby said jokingly, and you released a smile.
“Okay, just this once Anderson, only if you keep that…6 am exit secret.”
“You have my word.”
32 notes · View notes
aesolerin · 3 hours ago
Note
do you have any headcanons on characters' age? asking because in my recent expedition Baldwin said something along the lines "I'm too old for this" which got me thinking no way you are too old for this you are just grumpy
i do have rough age ranges! but it can be hard to separate the modern standards of age vs medieval standards of age, ya know what i mean? adolescence is much longer in the modern day
i mentioned somewhere that i think Baldwin is the youngest of the DD men so yes that quote is very funny. that is a 27-30 year old man standing next to a 58-67 year old man (Barristan) and a 100+ year old man (Alhazred [who crumbles to dust and bones in his Butcher's Circus corpse]) complaining about how he's too old for this shit.
and yes, that does mean i think Sarmenti is a bit older! 32-35 years old. certainly doesn't act like it
alright, a more formal list of my headcanon age ranges. note that this is mostly vibes, no research done whatsoever
Bigby/Abomination: 48-54 (guild blurb about him mentions he was imprisoned for 'untold decades', i think the eldritch poison/the Beast has had a minor effect on his aging)
Josephine/Antiquarian: 46-52 (a little bit of dark magic, a little bit of graceful aging, a lot of 'too covered up to really get a feel for her age')
Missandei/Arbalest: 27-34 (war veteran, but also forced into that lifestyle at a clearly young age)
Tardif/Bounty Hunter: 28-33 (it's a family business he got into early)
Reynauld/Crusader: 38-43 (also a veteran of combat and clearly had the experience to lead an army)
(DD1)Damian/Flagellant: 31-35 (how does extensive scarring affect apparent age? 🤔)
Audrey/Grave Robber: 40-45 (aged like fine wine)
Boudica/Hellion: 24-28 (she should be at the club, not throwing herself at anything that look like it'd give her a good brawl)
Dismas/Highwayman: 45-49 (actually too old to still be at this shit)
William/Houndmaster: 34-40 (nothing much to say about him other than he looks like he actually has his life together)
Margaret/Musketeer: 24-27 (she was at the [hunting] club until that fucked-up eye threw her off her game)
Paracelsus/Plague Doctor: 27-33 (college dropout)
Amani/Shieldbreaker: 26-34 (Leon*dro Dec*prio voice: ahaha nooo don't get older than 25 ur so sexy--)
Junia/Vestal: 35-39 (had enough experience to be trusted with an important and sacred duty)
DD2 Bonus Round
Bonnie/Runaway: 19-22 (there's something here about modern sensibilities vs ye olden day standards, but for the sake of my sanity she's Of Age)
Sahar/Duelist: 34-37 (college graduate who's spent time hunting for her Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny)
(DD2) Damian/Flagellant: Man What The Fuck
4 notes · View notes
lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 1 year ago
Text
From the Ashes Pt. 3.5
Tumblr media
Pairing(s): Tywin Lannister x Joanna Lannister, Aerys Targaryen x Rhaella Targaryen, one sided Aerys Targaryen x Joanna Lannister
Warnings: just aerys being a fucking creep, Rhaella POV
Words: 1699
Summary: After first meeting her future daughter-in-law, Rhaella thinks back to her dear friend Joanna.
Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22 Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26 Part 27   Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35  Part 36  Part 37  Part 38  Part 39   Part 40 Part 41 Part 42
Book Two of Heir of Ash and Fire
Book One of Heir of Ash and Fire
She had always considered Rhaella her dear friend, even if she had been the queen’s lady-in-waiting, Joanna and Rhaella had been close. Close like sisters. When Rhaella was angered, so was Joanna. When the king had gone too far and hurt his already fragile queen, Joanna was wounded as well to see Rhaella in such a state.
So to be let go of being one of her personal ladies, Joanna was quite shocked. She had just told Rhaella of her engagement to her cousin Tywin, a man whom she had truly fallen in love with. Cold and hard to laugh Tywin. His actions spoke more than any of his words could. Joanna knew that Tywin reciprocated these feelings of adoration, he would speak softly of his love for her and it made her heart soar even more.
Rhaella should have been happy for the young, blushing, bride. Selna Dayne was surely excited for her companion. Her glittering violet eyes showed her genuine joy for Joanna.
The thin Queen of Westeros, however, appeared somewhat apprehensive at this news and gently told Joanna that she was letting her go as a lady-in-waiting.
“I. . . I don’t understand.” She looks to Selna for guidance, that this must be a mistake, but the Dornish beauty was equally confused. “Have I done something to displease you, Your Grace?”
“Of course not.” Rhaella holds Joanna’s hand reassuringly. Her face was so thin from her previous miscarriage that it stretched over her features painfully. Watery lavender eyes glance at the four year old Rhaegar who was playing with wooden figures on the floor. Joanna and Selna dotted on the young boy as he was breathtakingly beautiful and a joy to be around. “I just think it would be best if you were no longer in my service.”
“Forgive me, but you have to give her a reason.” Selna insists. Both of the young girls watched Rhaella like a hawk, eyes trying to delve deeper into her.
How could she say it out loud? To say it out loud would ruin sweet Joanna. A truth that was known to Tywin already. He had not said anything to his fiancee for a reason. But here they were, girls insisting upon an answer. They would accept nothing less.
Pursing her lips, Rhaella drops Joanna’s hand. “I fear for you if you were to stay here.”
Pale blonde brows furrow.
The thought of Aerys using the girl as he did her. . . That beautiful milky skin of her’s being tarnished by bruises and cuts was too much for Rhaella to even think about. She had to do what was best for Joanna. There had already been rumors of Aerys taken the maidenhead of Joanna during Jaehaerys’ coronation. That was bad enough. What if Aerys had it in his mind to go through with the rumor before Joanna was to marry Tywin? It scared Rhaella. She wanted Tywin to take her far away from King’s Landing.
“Aerys desires you in his bed. He’s wanted you for quite some time. I think. . . I think that the news of you wedding Tywin would be enough to make him go through with the deed. They haven’t gotten along for quite some time now.” Finally breaking, she told the girls of the secret she had tried to protect them from.
Selna’s face grew pale at the thought of Aerys, that wicked man, having his way with Joanna. Joanna did her best to conceal her trembling. Both had seen what going to bed with Aerys would do to a woman. The evidence was all over Rhaella.
It pained Joanna to leave her lady, but everyone in that room knew it for the best. With Aerys being the way that he was, Joanna wasn’t safe in King’s Landing.
So fragile Joanna looked at that moment, fragile and scared making Rhaella regret her decision for a moment before the blonde closes her eyes and nods.
“Very well. I will leave King’s Landing immediately.” Concern flickered in her green eyes when she gazes at Selna. Dark haired Selna with large eyes like gemstones. How on earth she possessed such beautiful lavender eyes without being related to a Targaryen, no one would know. The light contrast of her eyes to her tanned skin made her so much more alluring.
Her concern was easily read by Rhaella who had been concerned about the Dornish lady as well.
Selna suddenly grew rigid. Surely Aerys wouldn’t dare touch her for risk of disrupting his alliance with Dorne. The House of Dayne was a loyal and favorite house of the Martells who ruled the desert land. With their family sword Dawn, many members had brought fame in battle.
“She will be fine. Aerys has no interest in women who have already had children.” Rhaella assured her. Selna released a sigh of relief, thanking the gods for her three children. Reassured, Joanna finally manages to smile. She could leave without any regrets.
Standing up, she bows to her queen. “My lady, it has been the utmost honor to serve you.”
“It was my honor to have you in my service. Now go and live a happy life.”
* Rhaella had wept rivers when the news of Joanna’s death reached her. One of Rhaella’s biggest regrets was not keeping in touch with her. She wanted Joanna to continue on with her happy life and forget about court. Intending for Joanna to never come back to King’s Landing, Rhaella had made herself distant. With Aerys descending into madness, there was no predicting what he would do to her. All to protect Joanna and her happiness.
She felt that sorrow again when she first met (y/n) Lannister, a sweet enough looking child who lacked her mother’s beauty. The smile is what brought the image of Joanna to Rhaella. A smile that warmed Rhaella to the bone.
“It’s my honor to meet you, Your Grace.” The little girl was quiet in the way she spoke, bending slightly in the knees for a curtsy. This was Rhaegar’s future wife.
“You look just like your mother.”
(y/n) stumbles forward a little bit, gawking at the queen. Her pale green eyes are wide in disbelief before a shy blush makes her gaze shoot down to the ground. “Oh. . . People say that about my sister. Not. . . me. . .”
Rhaella smiles at the shy girl. The poor girl must have never been complimented before. From what Rhaegar had told her about (y/n), she wasn’t the favorite among the Lannister siblings. Said that many favored Cersei more due to the fact that she had Joanna’s loveliness and grace. Many were quick to forget that Joanna’s pretty face wasn’t what made Joanna a dear to be around. Her smile and laugh was what truly made her soul shine.
“Trust me young one, I knew your mother very well. You look so much like her when you smile.” She winks at her, making (y/n)’s smile return. In truth, Rhaella had been worried when Rhaegar gave her the news that he had chosen a bride. And his bride was still but a child. That’s why she would live on Dragonstone until the age she was deemed ready to say her vows that tied her forever to Rhaegar.
This little girl would someday be the queen of all of the Seven Kingdoms. Joanna’s daughter. It seemed like there was no escaping the Targaryens. The female lions just appeared to be drawn back to the Red Keep and all the dangers it held within. From her meek mannerisms, Rhaella thought sadly to herself that this girl would not survive long in the game of thrones. Even the strongest of players were known to be brought down eventually.
“They look very similar to Jaehaerys and his little queen Alysanne.” Varys mentioned one day as he had traveled with Rhaella during one visit to meet the youngest Lannister daughter. Rhaegar and (y/n) were out in the courtyard, enjoying the small amount of sun that streamed in while Rhaella was sitting down in the patio with the Master of Whispers. Rhaella didn’t mind one bit when Varys asked if he could come along for this visit. He was a wonderful companion and Rhaella enjoyed the interesting conversations they shared. “Don’t you think so, Your Grace?”
Rhaella watches them as Rhaegar instructs (y/n) where to place her fingers on the harp. Patient as ever, Rhaegar speaks to her in a soft and gentle tone. One of her braids was still undone from where Viserys had pulled at it incessantly. Thalina, (y/n)’s personal hand-maid, had her back pressed up against a column; watching her charge with a pleasant smile.
Jaehaerys and his little queen Alysanne. . . They went behind their mother to wed one another because they were truly in love. Spending weeks there in Dragonstone, the two had found sanctuary where they could love one another freely and grow. Eventually though, they both found themselves returning to King’s Landing. After all, Jaehaerys was king and couldn’t stay long from his throne. The Queen Mother always saw such a dramatic change in Rhaegar when he was around (y/n). He smiled and laughed more. Back in the Red Keep, all joy was gone from her son as he was forced to watch his father fumble with such a large kingdom. (y/n) made him happy, made him warm.
“Yes, very much so. . .” She whispers in reply. Rhaegar’s Little Queen. The Mouse of Casterly Rock. She had done quite a bit of growing herself too. Since arriving to the island, (y/n) had learned to be more confident and grow a backbone. Of course she was still learning, undoing all the things that her family had pressed upon her. She spoke with the queen mother now without stuttering or looking shy as she had with their first meeting.
Plucking from (y/n)’s harp filled the courtyard with whimsy that Rhaella missed the brief exchange between Thalina and the eunuch.
(y/n) was becoming her own person. Perhaps. . . once she was older she would indeed have what it took to become a major player and win at the
36 notes · View notes
computerpeople · 2 years ago
Text
i wish i could figure out how to put how i feel about misogyny into words. i think a lot about it's role in my existence as a transman and i wish it was easier to talk about. i hate all the arguments about "all men includes trans men" or "but but but but transmen are except from hating men right?!" or whatever because thats never been an issue for me i guess. if someone hates all men im either included or unincluded depending on their definition, and im fine with that, i don't really care. as a transmasc, i am both able to perpetuate misogyny and also be a victim of it.
my issue is that everything i have ever done and will do will be wrapped in a blanket of misogyny. growing up i was a tomboy, and an ugly girl. i knew those things abouyt myself from the get go, probably because i was put into ballet at a very very young age (1-2 years old) and that taught me many things about myself, mosrly about how i don't fit in with other girls. i was assumed to be a lesbian by my parents, and confirmed this after i started dating my now ex boyfriend, who was also openly a lesbian at the time. and that followed me for years. no one around me cared that we were two transmascs, that we used boy names and he/him pronouns and were more openly transgender than anything else. we were the middleschools raging bulldyke couple. we were called carpet munchers and dykes and forced to sit apart from eachother in classes because us being next to eachother caused too much upheaval in OTHER students. he was able to transition easily, with social support, because he had money, he had loving parents, and most importantly: he was skinny and attractive. when people began to take his identity more seriously, they didn't spare me the same grace. i was still seen as an ugly, fat girl dating a guy out of my league, i had people tell me he only dated me because id accept his gender, that i was a fujo for wanting to date him, etc etc. all while i was also openly trans. i got misgendered, i was the ugly girl. he got to be a boy.
nothings changed. im 22 years old, im on testosterone, and i am still treated like an inconvenient, shitty, loud tomboyish ugly girl. i am constantly sexually harrassed by people who think it is attractive that i am openly an ugly girl. they ask me to have sex with them, to see if they "like men" but i know what they want. theyh want to bang me as a woman. they want to use me as a woman. they comment on me when i get on my knees, saying thats where i belong and where i should remember my place is. they slap me on the ass to get a feel and tell me its because thats what "boys" do to eachother. they call me ugly, they say every single unadulterated thing they ever want to say to a woman to me, because its cool right? im just one of the boys? so that gives them free reign to say all that shit to me? to cop a feel? bros just hug eachother all the time, i swear im not trying to feel where your nipples are in your binder. ignore me shifting you around, its unrelated. i am seen as stupid, i am seen as lesser, and i am seen as a sex toy. an ugly girl who thinks shes "strong" enough to handle the boys, andf theyll make sure i learn how stupid and ugly i am for thinking that. theyll make sure i get put back in my place.
i am not seen as a guy. i don't think that'll ever be my truth. i am seen as an ugly girl, and it will continue to follow me for the rest of my life. i wish that testosterone was not seen as this magic, amazing drug that makes everyone pass. i have been on it. ive grown my facial hair. ive deepened my voice. but i am seen as nothing but an ugly girl who forgot to shave. an ugly girl who needs to be reminded who i am.
1 note · View note
sin-ophelia · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Laura Lentz:
I was 19, I was 22, I was skinny and hot as the steaming coffee I drank black every morning from Jack's Deli. I had the gray, fitted designer winter coat. Men turned when I passed construction sites and whistled and put down their hammers. I could dance to anything - salsa the two step, improv. Just put on music and I was all in.
I stole clothes from John Wanamaker and Saks Fifth Avenue, I had boots, bodysuits, one pound earrings. I danced to Donna Summer, Madonna, Blondie. Under disco balls, under the moonlight, in the Black Banana and Studio 54.
The bouncer always called me to the front of the line. They had nicknames for me, and me for them.
I sweat, I jiggled, I fucked, and I judged other women who couldn't dance, didn't have a sense of style, who ate too much, who were too fat or too loud or too in love or not in love enough. Or were too old wearing too short skirts.
What were they thinking?
I was on top of the world, and I was with a man who loved the wild weed of me, and when he saw me judge another woman or another man, or the male prostitute dressed like Little Bo Peep who hung on my front steps leading up to my apartment, he would say things to me about the people I judged.
He would say look how beautiful she thinks she is.
Or he said, Baby, you don't know her story.
Or he said, she's trying to get attention, let's give her some.
He dug through my closet while I was getting ready to go to dinner with him, and when I'd search for my favorite green, designer sweater with the pearl buttons, I'd usually find it on Little Bo Peep, and my man would say he was cold, he gave it to him while I was in the shower, and he'd buy me another sweater.
I studied how he moved through the wintery world beside me.
I watched him glide with grace and love and kindness and forgiveness and laughter.
He saw something in me nobody else saw and I began to see it too.
He saw my broken from my broken family and my potential to love the way we were all meant to love each other. He made love to me tenderly to heal my broken, and sometimes with hunger to catch my insatiable desire to feel even more alive.
He saw my potential to see, my potential to feel, my potential for empathy and kindness - he taught me how to love the too loud woman checking out at the grocery store and the man who held up the plane and then demanded a different seat after we'd all been waiting a half hour.
He taught me to love the taxi driver who took us to the opera who had eight children who couldn't make his rent. We gave him our tickets, a night at the opera and a check for what he would have made that night.
Love was a verb and we practiced it together.
As a fledging in training, I discovered each of person had a story I didn't know, and every person I judged or laughed at or decided who they were was me hiding from my own humanity, because the truth is it's sometimes hard to see.
I began to see Little Bo Peep whose mascara always seemed to be streaked down his cheeks from crying and I let him into my designer closet. I began to see all of Jack at the Deli - his gruffness was from lack of sleep from taking care of his mother.
Now when I look back on that time, I understand I was with a man who was my spiritual guide but he just looked like an electrician from Philadelphia who left hoagie wrappers on the floor of his red Ford Bronco.
When my writing partner said I should write the scene of me crawling into his open casket after he died, wanting my whole body on top of his whole body one more time - I knew it wouldn't make any sense unless you knew who he was, and who I was.
And who I was becoming.
At the funeral, my knees were soaked from his fourteen year old son's grief snot - he had collapsed into my lap sobbing, and I was stroking his hair. Then I stood up and walked toward the open casket. I had to feel his cold, thick lips sewn or glued shut, his limp hands, his shiny bald head, to be sure he wasn't there.
I put one leg up and hoisted myself into his coffin, and I let out a sound no human being should ever make, or a sound all of us should always make when we have to let go. It was as ancient as the elephant who rocks the bones of the dead.
As ancient as whale song or the Orca who carried her dead baby on her back for weeks and miles.
I'm sure my cousins pulled me out of the coffin, and took my small writhing ball of grief body outside where the trees could hold my sounds.
The man I loved who left too soon - his memory is still there every day to remind me to have compassion and not judgement, because you never know another person's heart until you stop and ask them about their life and listen.
Chaunce launched me out into this magnificent and complicated and tragic world with a heart that had eyes, and I wanted to say this morning that I see you and I want your story and I can receive your story and reflect your goodness and your beauty back to you, as it was done for me.
Once you know how to love, nobody can take that from you.
And everything really is going to be okay, because love heals - it's the best prescription to cure anything.
1 note · View note
jadelathetranny · 4 months ago
Text
Dear Sam,
Hello again. So I have to be honest. I think the catalyst for creating a blog to was to better articulate some of the issues I've been having with my relationship. First, some background, I have been in a relationship going on 5 months now and I suck :P Seriously I've been having a hard time navigating my emotions and how best to express myself in this relationship. This is my first relationship and it is becoming very apparent that I do not have any idea what I'm doing. This makes sense since this is a first-time thing for me I just tend to think I should know everything, which proves to be its own challenge. But I digress. I feel as though I am actively hurting our relationship. See, I love Sam. Very much. I feel that my absence of a romantic partner or even success in my platonic friendships hurt him and I hate that. I hate that it reflects in our relationship. I understand that I should give myself more grace with such a new experience but I often find myself wishing that it wasn't such a costly toll on each of us.
I shared with him the other night a scary thought, but a thought that remains true. "I don't think I was ready for a relationship when we first met." I'd say most people have their first relationship at much younger ages than me a 22-year-old. (yes, this is stupid) I just wish I had a few other relationships under my belt to make mistakes with rather than risk losing the love of my life. I wish I was just better prepared for him. I hate subscribing him to someone insecure and naive in love. I let my past relationships and trauma infect our relationship like mold on last week's leftovers but refuse to toss it out. -The dilemma: I hurt someone I claim to care about but I cannot even begin to think of a world without him. Is this selfish? Or am I putting complete faith in my man?
Dear Sam, I don't want you to read these excerpts. Even though they are technically addressed to you I think this is a fun way to open up talking points with myself. As if I am simply writing a silly little letter directly to the love of my life. I will say I should also prioritize speaking to you In person as it is becoming painfully clear that I have communication problems I need to work through with you to grow. I would like to use these as "screeners" if you will. A filter of thought and processing that needs to happen before I talk to you in person. I don't want this to be a buffer between us, I just feel like I need to practice talking about my feelings. Hypocritical as this sounds: to work on talking with you I gotta type it out on a blog :) I'm new to this and I'm trying my best so bear with me world. We are gonna get better.
0 notes
formeroklahoman · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
I was 19, I was 22, I was skinny and hot as the steaming coffee I drank black every morning from Jack's Deli. I had the gray, fitted designer winter coat. Men turned when I passed construction sites and whistled and put down their hammers. I could dance to anything - salsa the two step, improv. Just put on music and I was all in.
I stole clothes from John Wanamaker and Saks Fifth Avenue, I had boots, bodysuits, one pound earrings. I danced to Donna Summer, Madonna, Blondie. Under disco balls, under the moonlight, in the Black Banana and Studio 54.
The bouncer always called me to the front of the line. They had nicknames for me, and me for them.
I sweat, I jiggled, I fucked, and I judged other women who couldn't dance, didn't have a sense of style, who ate too much, who were too fat or too loud or too in love or not in love enough. Or were too old wearing too short skirts.
What were they thinking?
I was on top of the world, and I was with a man who loved the wild weed of me, and when he saw me judge another woman or another man, or the male prostitute dressed like Little Bo Peep who hung on my front steps leading up to my apartment, he would say things to me about the people I judged.
He would say look how beautiful she thinks she is.
Or he said, Baby, you don't know her story.
Or he said, she's trying to get attention, let's give her some.
He dug through my closet while I was getting ready to go to dinner with him, and when I'd search for my favorite green, designer sweater with the pearl buttons, I'd usually find it on Little Bo Peep, and my man would say he was cold, he gave it to him while I was in the shower, and he'd buy me another sweater.
I studied how he moved through the wintery world beside me.
I watched him glide with grace and love and kindness and forgiveness and laughter.
He saw something in me nobody else saw and I began to see it too.
He saw my broken from my broken family and my potential to love the way we were all meant to love each other. He made love to me tenderly to heal my broken, and sometimes with hunger to catch my insatiable desire to feel even more alive.
He saw my potential to see, my potential to feel, my potential for empathy and kindness - he taught me how to love the too loud woman checking out at the grocery store and the man who held up the plane and then demanded a different seat after we'd all been waiting a half hour.
He taught me to love the taxi driver who took us to the opera who had eight children who couldn't make his rent. We gave him our tickets, a night at the opera and a check for what he would have made that night.
Love was a verb and we practiced it together.
As a fledging in training, I discovered each of person had a story I didn't know, and every person I judged or laughed at or decided who they were was me hiding from my own humanity, because the truth is it's sometimes hard to see.
I began to see Little Bo Peep whose mascara always seemed to be streaked down his cheeks from crying and I let him into my designer closet. I began to see all of Jack at the Deli - his gruffness was from lack of sleep from taking care of his mother.
Now when I look back on that time, I understand I was with a man who was my spiritual guide but he just looked like an electrician from Philadelphia who left hoagie wrappers on the floor of his red Ford Bronco.
When my writing partner said I should write the scene of me crawling into his open casket after he died, wanting my whole body on top of his whole body one more time - I knew it wouldn't make any sense unless you knew who he was, and who I was.
And who I was becoming.
At the funeral, my knees were soaked from his fourteen year old son's grief snot - he had collapsed into my lap sobbing, and I was stroking his hair. Then I stood up and walked toward the open casket. I had to feel his cold, thick lips sewn or glued shut, his limp hands, his shiny bald head, to be sure he wasn't there.
I put one leg up and hoisted myself into his coffin, and I let out a sound no human being should ever make, or a sound all of us should always make when we have to let go. It was as ancient as the elephant who rocks the bones of the dead.
As ancient as whale song or the Orca who carried her dead baby on her back for weeks and miles.
I'm sure my cousins pulled me out of the coffin, and took my small writhing ball of grief body outside where the trees could hold my sounds.
The man I loved who left too soon - his memory is still there every day to remind me to have compassion and not judgement, because you never know another person's heart until you stop and ask them about their life and listen.
Chaunce launched me out into this magnificent and complicated and tragic world with a heart that had eyes, and I wanted to say this morning that I see you and I want your story and I can receive your story and reflect your goodness and your beauty back to you, as it was done for me.
Once you know how to love, nobody can take that from you.
And everything really is going to be okay, because love heals - it's the best prescription to cure anything.
0 notes
free--therapy · 1 year ago
Note
Anon here!
The past few months, I've really been worrying about the whole being an adult thing in general. I mean, if I'm an adult, I shouldn't be making stupid mistakes or having weird worries like these, should I?
Like "I'm past 18, I shouldn't be doing this, liking this or thinking this" etc. That's the kind of thing I was wondering about.
But honestly, just because I've crossed 18 doesn't mean it magically turns me into a mature grown up, does it? Now, at 22, I still feel not much more mature than I was at 17 or 19 tbh. Sure, things have definitely changed but I don't know.....I just feel like a kid when it comes to certain things.
Even my family members who are older than me (parents, sister and other cousins) all say that the age is just a number and that doesn't have to mean I'm a fully mature grown up that can't be making any mistakes now. My sister is 28 and she says that she didn't feel much grown up until she got to 26.
She often jokes that my personality is exactly similar to what my personality type says lol and maybe I believe her too. I'm an INFP personality type and while I don't know if that's to be even taken seriously but since INFP personality types are known to be kinda idealistic, empathetic, sensitive and known to overthink everything and I relate so much to all of that lol so I believe it. But that makes me think maybe it's just my personality and I don't have to take this so seriously.
But since my sister always reassures me that turning a certain age doesn't mean it'll change my mentally or physically within a day or so. She says that even at her age, she feels she has more to learn and doesn't fully feel like a proper adult.
I trust her and that gives me comfort to know that I don't have to expect perfection from myself just because I'm 22 now. But I just feel a sense of guilt when I see how immature how I am sometimes. It feels especially bad when, on social media, I see people who are younger than me acting much more mature or understanding than I am now. It's even worse when they are minors because it makes me feel like mentally, I'm still a 16-17 year old child.
Again, this might just be me expecting perfection from myself but I mean, shouldn't I be making better decisions or having better opinions if I'm at this age now? Or can I give myself some grace and let myself be whatever I feel like.....even if it means letting myself feel like a child sometime if that what feels "natural"? I don't know that sounds wrong somehow
What do you think?
Hey Anon,
If I've learned anything, adulthood was one of the biggest disappointments for me. I thought adults had their stuff together, but really not everyone does. Age definitely doesn't define much as maturity does. Maturity comes from life experiences and learning to face the adversity it throws your way. Some days I don't even feel my age either, it really is a weird concept we tell ourselves.
You never stop having to learn things in life, and the best way to approach it is to welcome all of life and its lessons so that you can offer other people wisdom. Some people think they have to stop learning once they're out of school, but I think it's what can keep the mind sharp and young.
I wouldn't compare yourself to other people, especially on social media because people usually put what they want you to see on it, and not everything that they're not good at or proud of. Even those who seem like they're more mature or have their life together may not actually have those things or are struggling with certain things that when they look at you, they feel like you have it better. Comparison will only steal your joy and it's easy to believe that other people have it all figured out. The truth is, absolutely no one does. Everyone is trying to figure out life every day.
Definitely give yourself grace. You're still young and growing. The more life you live and experiences you have, the more insight you'll gain as you go along. You have your whole life ahead of you :)
0 notes
anxietyjedi · 1 year ago
Text
The Other Side of the Story Continues...
Holy shit...
Holy fucking shit...
So...as I already knew life is more complex than we often think. To say that I am surprised to hear about things from "the other side" is an understatement. What do I mean about "the other side", well, this goes back to a post I made in 2022 about the state of my life and emotional wellbeing. Just for review...
Growing up there were some relatives who I did not like. More accurately I should say I grew to resent them. I was just a kid, like any other kid; I had likes, dislikes, things that I didn't want to do, and so on. Well, these certain relatives didn't give a shit; they would talk down to me, gang up on me, make me the scapegoat for whatever issues they had. They turned what should have been happy experiences into terrible ones. Trips to "The Happiest Place on Earth" became anything but, and for quite a few years I avoided going there based on those memories.
In 1999 my parents separated and I ended up getting moved to where these relatives lived. The bullshit continued, and that was on top of the already stressful life of being a teenager. Being moved hundreds of miles away from all I knew, having everything that I loved ripped away from me, and having some of my interests like writing spoken about so venomously. They ganged up on people like a pack of rabid wolves so there was never any sort of intelligent discussion, just badgering until the one person was beaten into submission. I hated it, and eventually I just got to the point where I did the one thing I could to defend myself the best. I put as much distance between ALL of them as I could.
Yes, all of them. Every single relative on that side of the family I didn't want anything to do with. If a select few of them could do that and nobody did anything, in my book that meant they were all equally guilty. On June 19th, of 2001 I freed myself of all of that. I got out. I became independent and didn't have to answer to them anymore, didn't have to deal with them anymore, didn't have to put myself in their good graces to "keep the peace". Essentially, it was the start of a "Cold War". They were not in my life and I was not in theirs.
The distance and time away did not take away the emotional pain of what I went through. Not at all. It remained and I, well, I spent a lot of years being hurt and bitter. It didn't matter who reached out to me, it didn't matter who said anything to me, I kept them at a the maximum distance that I could and only spoke to them because I love my Mom more than I loathed their existence. I know with them being her siblings that they are important to her, so I kept it civil. Icy cold but still civil for the sake of my Mom. In the years since my "liberation" I spent time finding and recapturing my happiness. I went back to the "Happiest Place on Earth" and took my happiness back.
Yes, I wasn't given it back, I took it back. On my terms, doing what I wanted and abstaining from what I didn't want to do. I took it back and honestly I was in tears because I realized they would never be able to take that from me. Even though the memories of their treatment of me remained, I gave myself the empowerment that I needed to start to get my life back together and in order.
Then in the last week when I went to pick up my younger brother it opened the door to the topic of my isolationism. For the first time in 22 years I was getting a glimpse beyond the "wall" that was between the two sides. I spent years thinking that people probably bastardized me, thinking I was just an angry individual, that I was just someone with a chip on their shoulder. At 40 years old I am mature enough to say this; I was wrong. You see, they understood my stance, they understood the distance that I put between myself and them, they understood my anger, my frustration, my pain, my emotional trauma. They understood where it came from, why it existed, and the more I talk with my younger brother the more I learn that it wasn't all of them.
The relatives I had a problem with are in the scarce minority. They are the minority so much that they are often not included in family functions. For once it felt good to have confirmation that I was not alone in this, but as my brother put it, I was the first to see it. Quite appropriately he said I was the "Jedi" in the situation, seeing the problem when everyone else didn't well before any of them got an inkling. He even conveyed similar stories to what I faced that started the issues that I had with them, stories from not just his experience but the experiences of others in our generation. When I heard all of that in addition to getting the confirmation that the problems I had were indeed valid it felt like I suddenly had this whole new perspective on life, on them.
Now my Mom is going to be coming up this weekend and I think it's time for the "Cold War" to end. 22 years is quite a long time, but to hear the validation for what I did, to know that I was partially justified...in the words of John Lennon "War is over if you want it".
0 notes
cyarskj1899 · 2 years ago
Text
KELLY ROWLAND CHRIS BROWN DESERVES GRACE, FORGIVENESS
Exclusive
11/22/2022 12:20 AM PT
Tumblr media
Kelly Rowland says it's beyond time for the public to treat Chris Brown the same as anyone else who royally screws up -- and, yes, she believes that includes forgiving him for beating Rihanna.
We got the 'Destiny's Child' singer in WeHo Monday and asked about her American Music Awards moment -- when she scolded a booing crowd pissed about Chris' win, and then sang his praises.
Check out KR's remarks to our photog, 'cause they're pretty powerful. She says everyone is worthy of second chances, and that we all need a dose of humility ... especially amid our own transgressions. Essentially, it's the Golden Rule she's advocating for here.
Kelly also suggests folks oughta bask in the good, rather than fervently looking to cast stones at every turn -- especially when related to events almost 14 years old, like Chris' Rihanna incident.
In the end, Kelly thinks we all come up short at one point or another -- and we all deserve to start over again.
As she notes, that's what makes us human.
Sent from my iPhone
Tumblr media
nah f this!
I'm so fucking tired of people asking US to forgive abusers. Giving grace to the abusers is why it took over a combined fifty years for bill Cosby, r Kelly, Harvey wienstiein among others to pay for their crimes against women and in some cases men. Meanwhile it takes public outrage and attention to make everyone support people like Megan thee stallion or Johnny depp who y’all don’t show grace to because one their abuser is y’alls fave and two with Johnny depp he’s a man who was abused and y’all think that men could never be abuse victims
if his victims do that that’s fine and if they don’t that’s okay as well but that doesn’t mean that we should, I could never forgive anyone who has done what Chris brown did, more than once. Forgiveness is like respect, it’s one thing to ask for it it’s another thing to earn it . If someone abused me or my family it’s my choice to forgive them or not and even if I do don’t expect me to sip tea and sing some kumebya songs with them
If I speak I will breathe fire because she has pissed me off today! Sometimes I wish I was famous so I could publicly tell other famous people
“If you don’t shut the fuck up…”
“This is a bad take”.
“Be quiet, Tiffany!”
Or go “Man, WHAT!?”
I was born to be a hater.
Just be the “Oh, BROTHER, this guy STINKS!”
When niggas do or say something dumb.
“I think the woman beater who continues to terrorize women and who would probably throw me through the wall if I breathed wrong deserves forgiveness”. IF YOUN DON’T GET YO GYATDAMN PICK ME SELF OUT OF MY FACE! Seriously. What the fquck ??? WHAT THE EVER LOVING FQUCK ??? What is the disconnect?? Are you fucking okay!? Are you fqucking serious!?! I hate you fquckers!!! Everyone is entitled to their (stupid ass!!) opinion and I get that but seriously…I’m trying to understand but I just can’t. Maybe I’m refusing. You know? Yeah, I am. Fuck that. It’s insane.
Anyone who still supports that is insane. Eat my ass. suck it! I don’t care. Don’t piss me off. You can go to hell for heaven’s sake
if I was Kelly The correct answer is NO! FUCK THEM! How dare you ask me whenever or not we should forgive anyone who has abuse multiple women and hadn’t shown genuine remorse about it? I can’t defend it. I will never defend it. Who is that we, are we speaking the language of France 🇫🇷 because there is no “we” and never will be I don’t care if it’s not tolerant bc I don’t have to be tolerant of anything I don’t wanna be, especially that. Like what?? Do you even hear yourselves!? It’s my choice to nevverrrr forgive that woman beater just like it’s his choice to be a woman beater. If he wants forgiveness he can take it up with God and repent for his sins and sincerely do so. I’m not God.
with people like him and anyone who defends him it’s not when they go low we go high like Michelle Obama, it’s when they go low we go to the Dante’s inferno with them
I don’t care what anyone says, FUCK THEM. The grace period is over!
FUCK FORGIVING THEM AND FUCK KELLY FOR EVEN THINKING THAT SHOULD BE AN OPTION
She just another black folk that proven that we can’t save everyone
0 notes
jamaisjoons · 4 years ago
Text
erised ⤑ pjm | m.
Tumblr media
⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 the last thing jimin had anticipated when he’d followed you into the room of requirement was to find you, the demure little head-girl, in front of the mirror of erised. moaning his name. 〞hogwarts au. pwp au.
❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: slytherin head-boy!jimin x hufflepuff head-girl!reader
❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: mild angst ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut
❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 29k 🥴
⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: hard dom!jimin, big cock!jimin, possessive!jimin, sub!reader, virgin!reader, female masturbation, mirror sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, teasing, minor thigh spanking, fingering, degradation, humiliation, dirty talk, corruption kink, biting, orgasm denial, orgasm control, begging, pussy slapping, marking, object play? he teases her with a vibrating wand, praise, object insertion, clit spanking, crying, begging, overstimulation, clit torture, forced orgasms, multiple orgasms, squirting, manhandling, spanking, minor anal play/teasing, power play/dnyamics, virgin sex, wet & mess sex, unprotected sex, once again jimin has a ᵖʰᵃᵗ cock, kneeling doggy style (kind of oath sex position), mild pain kink, rough sex, hair pulling, creampie, brief cum play
➵ 𝑎/𝑛: sol writing a jimin au? truly, it must be a miracle,,,,, this really was supposed to only be a 5k commission,,, but i thot if i need to suffer and write for jimin,,,, perhaps i should suffer and write him an entire au with plot,, just like he deserves 😌
⏤ commissioned by @opaljm​​ in exchange for a blm donation // beta read the these lovely people: @yeoldontknow​, @luffles424​, @peekaboongi​, @sunshinekims​, @inthecrescentmoonight​, @tricethecharm​, @jjungkooksthighs​, @dontaskshhhhh​ and @nervouskiwi​!!
⏤ disclaimer: in order to ensure all characters are 18+, i’ve tweaked the hogwarts curriculum to include ‘apprenticeships’ and ‘masterships’, essentially wizarding equivalent of graduates/post-grad, and as a result, yn is 21 and jimin is 22!! // additional disclaimer: i know absolutely fuck all about tarot cards and readings and therefore thank you to the lovely @yeoldontknow​ for picking which cards to use as well as giving me the explanations/details of the reading!
⇥ this ones for all my kinky virgins out there, hope y’all stay freaks 😤
Tumblr media
Hidden in the private dorms of the Potions Apprentice Quarters, you sit on the floor in the common room. Large, arched windows litter one side of the room, charmed - just like the Great Hall’s ceiling - to reflect the weather outside of the castle. Though, unlike the Great Hall, the charm could be turned off at will - allowing a magnificent, if not eerie, view of the underwaters of the Black Lake and all of its creatures. Currently, the charm is off, and the lake’s murky waters cast a dark hue to the room, bathing everything with a dark-teal tinge. Dark, crushed-velvet curtains drape down from the ceiling, the velour fabric only adding to the ominous scene of the Black Lake.
Despite the dismally grim sight of the lake, the rest of the common room is pleasant, and homely - if a little cold. With the space shared by all Potion’s Apprentices, from years eight to ten, regardless of the house, the interior is decorated in shades of black and grey rather than Hogwarts House colours. Dark, almost black, wenge wood furniture litters the room: from the large beams that run across the ceiling - holding onto the chandeliers, to the towering bookcases that fringe one wall of the room - brimming with rare potion tomes; as well as the glass-lined cabinets that cluster one corner of the room - teeming with vials and flasks of all sorts of potioneering ingredients.
The carpet that lines the flooring, however, is a light shade of mottled grey - the material piled and shaggy, and oh so soft under bare feet. Lavish leather sofas and armchairs of smoke-grey sit in one corner of the room, right beside the ornate brick fireplace; and a large frame of white gold hangs above the mantelpiece, containing the portrait of Gunhilda de Gorsemoor: a gifted potioneer who had developed the cure for Dragon Pox in the sixteenth century. Potions tables occupy the far corner, right beside the ingredients cabinets; each surface littered with a series of flasks and beakers, as well as glass phials, a pestle and mortar, various ingredient prepping tools; and, of course, a cauldron.
A sudden chill runs through the air, causing a shudder to run down your spine. It’s the middle of November, and yet, somehow the air feels colder in the common room. Though, you have a feeling that’s more to do with the fact that the dormitory is located in a far corner of the Hogwarts Dungeons, as well as being surrounded by the cold waters of the Black Lake. You don’t know why, perhaps it was just an oversight, but the temperature of the dungeons had always been bitterly biting. As a result, you nestled further into the warmth of the furry blanket laid over your lap - a gracious comfort from the brisk chill in the air. You’ve been living in the Apprentice Quarters for almost three years now, and yet, you’re still not used to the frigid temperatures of your dorms. To be honest, you don’t think you ever will.
Of course, being a Hufflepuff, you’d spent seven years on the floor just above - the common room located in the basement of Hogwarts. Alas, contrary to the dungeons, the basement is warm, in particular the Hufflepuff Common Room, and so, these past three years, you’ve struggled with the cold. Part of you wishes you were still within the comfort of the dorms you’d spent the better part of your Hogwarts Career in. However, after graduating from seventh year, you’d immediately applied for an apprenticeship in Potions. Upon having succeeded in your application, it had meant you’d had to move into the Dungeons, and from the Hufflepuff Dorms to the Potions Apprentice Quarters - a living space you currently share with Park Jimin.
Speaking of Jimin, he sits beside you and, unlike you, the cold doesn’t seem to bother him one bit. In fact, on the contrary to your body huddled into the shaggy comforter, the Slytherin Head Boy is casually pouring over the table: his back bent as his dark eyes skim across the parchment paper. His cloak rests casually on the sofa’s armrest, his sleeves rolled to his elbows and hair dangling in front of his eyes. You don’t know how he does it; how he so easily braces himself against the cold. Though, it could be because he’s spent ten years in the dungeons now - having acclimated to the cold over the decade.
From the corner of your peripheral vision, you take in the Head Boy. Naturally, you and Jimin had grown up together throughout your time at Hogwarts. And so, you’ve seen him change from the pudgy little eleven-year-old boy he was, to the man he is now. At twenty-two, Park Jimin is every bit the Pureblood Aristocrat he was born and bred to be: with dark pine-green hair that falls like silk around his face and sharp, cunning eyes - nestled between soft lids - that could stare into your soul and discover your deepest, darkest secrets (without the use of Legilimency).
Eyes scanning over his form, you watch as his lips quirk in concentration, his own gaze skimming across the large potions textbook as he jots down his notes. Against your will, your stare is pulled toward his hands. One is splayed onto the textbook, his pointer finger marking his current space on the page. The other glides across the parchment in front of him, his Eagle Quill scrawling over the paper in balletic movements as he jots down his notes. The gracefulness of the motions immediately captures your attention. His hands always surprise you, no matter what they’re doing. They’re somewhat small, and on the thick side - and a lot of the time they look incredibly cute. However, sometimes - like now - you’re surprised by how… attractive they are.
His fingers loosely grip the quill, the flexion of his knuckles practically mesmerising you as they protrude through his smooth, creamy skin. The bony features of his digits, and knuckles, are only emphasised by the thick rhodium ring he wears on his middle finger: the palatial band studded with gems of dark lilac and ebony. You have no doubt that it’d cost a fortune. Though, it’s probably closer to priceless; and most likely an antique, Park family heirloom. The backs of his hands are vascularised, and with each movement, you note the way the prominent vein bulges. You don’t know what he’s writing, but whatever it is, you know it’s probably incredibly advanced. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise you if he were scribbling different ingredients and their uses down, so he could create his own concoctions.
When you’d first moved in with Jimin, three years ago at the start of your apprenticeship, you’d been surprised by how often he’d actually studied. Particularly because Jimin was naturally gifted in Potions, and on his way to being one of the most skillful Potioneers the Wizarding World had ever seen. Thus, it was no surprise when you’d found out he was the other chosen Potions Apprentice for your year. Soft sigh drawing from your lips, you turn your attention back to your task at hand. Or well, tasks.
Juxtaposingly to Jimin, you were by no means a Potions Genius. Of course, you loved the subject, it’s just that you had to work a little harder in order to keep your grades up. Hence, the sight that greets you. Three pewter cauldrons sit on the table in front of you; the corners of your lips quirked into a frown as you inspect them. One of the pots contains a deep burgundy liquid, the potion rippling blood-red under the lighting of the torch sconces; signifying its completion. As a result, it’s the only one that’s set to the side. The other two still bubble over the bunsen burner: the left shimmers a pale, pearlescent lilac, while the right is a strange, putrid puce colouring that has you worried.
With a glance down to the potion tome beside you, your frown deepens. At this stage in the potion’s brewing, it should be a soft orange shade, not fetid-green. A low hum of distress emanates from your throat while you skim down the recipe - wondering just where you’d gone wrong. No matter how much you scour the textbook, you simply can’t seem to find it, and slowly, you grow more desperate. Especially as the potion’s critical stage approaches. You need to add minced Puffer-Fish soon, but if you add it now, when something is clearly wrong, you don’t know what will happen. Though, you doknow it will result in a useless potion.
Without warning, “You didn’t powder the Bone fine enough,” comes a husky voice. The sound vibrates right beside your ear, a warm breath simultaneously fanning across the outer shell of your ear. Abruptly, you jump in your seat, almost knocking the brass scales holding your meticulously measured Puffer-Fish mince to the floor.
Almost as if he’d anticipated your movement, Jimin’s hand shoots out to steady the apparatus. Although, even as his arm moves, he stays unbelievably close to you, and the proximity of his pillowy mouth next to your ears has goosebumps pricking at your skin. Angling your head, you come face to face with him, your eyes going wide. Directly adjacent to yours, his lips are just a hair’s breadth from yours - so close, in fact, that they virtually graze against yours. Heat creeps up: from the base of your throat, all the way up to the tips of your ears; and not expecting him to be so near, you jolt away.
The motion causes Jimin to quirk a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at you, and his reaction only has the flush to your cheeks deepening. Ducking your head down, you tuck a stray hair behind your ear, and, “Oh… I didn’t realise,” you mutter under your breath.
The instant the words fall from your lips you blanch, internally kicking yourself. I didn’t realise. What a joke. You’d fucked up your entire potion and all you could say was I didn’t realise. By Morgana, you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Here you are, a Potions Apprentice, and you hadn’t realised the bone wasn’t powdered fine enough. How had you even made it here? Especially since the potion you’d managed to botch was the Skele-Gro potion; one taught to second years. Meanwhile, your Blood-Replenishing potion, an expert recipe, is completely perfect and complete.
If Jimin cares about your response, he doesn’t say anything. Rather, he gestures towards your cauldron. “Why are you brewing three potions at once? Even brewing onerequires all your attention and concentration,” he states plainly, causing you to wince imperceptibly. He doesn’t mean to, but inadvertently, he’s rubbed salt into your wound.
“Madam Pomfrey’s running out of certain potions and I offered to help replenish them,” you reply, your voice coming out quieter than you’d intended to. Jimin simply hums.
“I guess that explains the potions you’re making. I was almost worried,” he says, his soft lips pulling tight as a lop-sided smirk crawls onto his mouth.
Not understanding, your eyebrows knit together. “Worried?” you frown. Jimin’s smirk only deepens, before he lounges back on the cream sofa. The movement draws attention to his strong body, his toned muscles bulging under his shirt, while his thighs strain against the tight material of his slacks.
“I mean, you’re brewing Blood-Replenishing, Skele-Gro and Wound-Cleaning potions out of the blue, any sensible person would be worried about their safety. I was starting to fear that you’d hex me, and then heal me before I could report you,” he jokes.
Swiftly, your jaw drops, and hastily shaking your head, “I would never-” you begin retorting, only for Jimin to hold up a hand and halt you.
“Yes, yes, you would never hurt me. Or anyone for that matter. I know, ____. It was just a joke,” Jimin cuts you off with a chuckle. “Besides, you’re too much of a Hufflepuff to think of anything so cunning,” he continues. His words have you blushing harder, your bottom lip protruding in a slight pout. After a brief pause, he nods to your cauldrons once again. “Anyway, that doesn’t explain why you’re brewing three at a time,” he says, his sentence phrased more like a question. With a sigh, you feel your shoulders deflate with weariness and lifting up a hand, you rub the bridge of your nose.
“She needs them as soon as possible. Quidditch games are going to start soon, and she’ll need all her potions restocked by then. If I don’t get them out of the way today, I won’t have any time to do them between Head Girl Duties and the Apprenticeship,” you answer
“Hmm… Still though… three potions at once is a lot. More than that, if they’re healing potions, you need to be even more careful. One wrong step and it could mean the difference between life and death,” he lectures. You know he means it well, and he doesn’t mean to upset you, but you can’t help the way your stomach sinks at his words.
He’s completely right - potion making, at its heart, is both a science and an artform. Of course, most magic requires careful consideration, however, potions even more so. Namely because, as he’d said, the slightest error could change the entire nature of the potion. That exact reason is why you’re here, as a Potion’s Apprentice. You see, your life’s dream is to qualify as a Healer, and in order to be a Healer, you now need to have some sort of post-N.E.W.T qualifications in either Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts or Herbology. Of course, it hadn’t always been like this. Before the Second Wizarding War, once a student had graduated from Hogwarts, they would be required to enter into a Healer’s program, or any job really, straight away.
However, once Voldemort had been defeated, the entire Wizarding World had needed to rebuild itself - having lost too much in the aftermath of the Final Battle. In a way, it had been somewhat of a - morbid - blessing; mainly because, it had meant that the stagnating magical community had grown and bolstered itself into the twenty-first century. One of the consequenting changes, had been the reintroduction of Apprenticeships and Masterships, meaning that students now had an option to gain an extra qualification or two that would better prepare them for the future jobs - kind of similar to the muggle equivalent of university. Though, of course, these apprenticeships continued through Hogwarts, rather than a separate magical institute.
Naturally, with your dream job being a healer, you’d taken up the Potion’s Apprenticeship. Mostly due to the fact that you want to work in the Cures and Remedies Department of St. Mungo’s: a department dedicated to brewing potions, as well as creating new ones for the ever-developing medical needs in the Wizarding Community. Which is also why Jimin’s lecture hits you harder. If you were already making such silly mistakes, you’ll sooner fail your dream than achieve it - and probably kill or harm a few people while you’re at it.
Realising that Jimin had stopped talking, a tense silence befalling the two of you while you wallow in self-pity, “I’m sorry,” you mutter under your breath. As soon as he hears the despondent tone to your voice, Jimin’s face softens.
“No need to apologise, you didn’t do it maliciously,” Jimin says. Then, nudging your knee with his foot, “Scoot over,” he says.
Eyebrows creasing, curiosity colours your face as you watch him close his book, before waving his wand and muttering a couple spells under his breath. Immediately, his parchment rolls up into a scroll, before flying through the air and into his bedroom; along with the rest of his things. Once he’s cleared his stuff, he scuttles off of the sofa, and onto the floor beside you. In your confusion, you hadn’t moved quick enough, and as a result, Jimin’s crossed knee falls onto your lap. With a blank stare, you glance down at his thick thigh, and feeling the weight of his limb onto yours, you quickly kick yourself into motion.
Shuffling to the side, you make space for Jimin, the Head Boy slotting into the space next to you and under your blanket - the cover draping over his own lap. In your new position, he’s now level with you, your pantyhose-clad knee brushing against his while your shoulders practically touch. He’s close enough that the scent of his expensive cologne is more prominent: notes of sandalwood and bergamot dancing in the air and through your senses. The woodsy-sweet aroma virtually entrances you, your head swimming with the beguiling fragrances and beckoning you to sink deep into them. For a moment, you take a deep, albeit subtle, breath - wanting to breathe it in even more. Nonetheless, Jimin’s voice is swiftly breaking you out of your trance.
“You need to add minced Puffer-Fish to this, right?” he asks as he peers at the Skele-Gro potion, the rancid-green liquid still bubbling under the high heat of your bunsen burner. Abruptly coming to your senses, you nod, trying to ignore the fuzzy warmth that settles in the pits of your stomach. “If you add it now, it’s most likely going to result in Skele-Gro,” Jimin mumbles, and hearing him, you immediately perk up. Perhaps all wasn’t lost yet. That is, until you hear him continue. “Except… it will probably result in the bones continuously growing without stopping - even once they’ve fixed themselves.”
“Oh. So I need to start over?” you ask as you pull your bottom teeth between your lips. Did you even have time for that? Or ingredients? If you go down to Slughorn’s Office in order to get a fresh supply, he’ll most likely question why and you’d rather notexplain that it’s because you’d been incompetent enough to mess up a second year level potion.
Jimin hums in thought. “No, I don’t think so. You’re also brewing Wound-Cleaning Potion, yes? That means you have Dittany Essence?” he asks, causing you to nod and pass him the dark-blue vial. “Adding three drops should counteract the effects and bring it back to what it’s supposed to be,” he continues, and you watch as he uncaps the glass bottle, before carefully pipetting exactly three drops of the solution into the cauldron. After placing the Dittany Essence back down, he stirs the potion anticlockwise five-times, and you observe in complete awe as the potion returns to a pale orange - the exact colour it's supposed to be.
“How did you…?” you breathe out, astonishment heavily lacing your voice. Beside you, Jimin simply shrugs.
“It’s a common mistake second years make when brewing Skele-Gro… not powdering the bone finely enough, I mean. Adding three drops of Dittany Essence and then stirring anticlockwise five times brings it back,” he replies casually. Despite his nonchalant tone, though, you find your body slackening with defeat.
“I can’t believe I made such a stupid mistake…” you mumble under your breath. The self-deprecating tone to your voice has Jimin clicking his tongue at you in a tut as he nudges your knee with his.
“Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re brewing three potions at once - and two of them are advanced potions. Both of which you’ve brewed perfectly so far. You probably didn’t notice that the powdered bone wasn’t fine enough because you didn’t expect to mess up a simple potion,” Jimin immediately says - in a bid to comfort you. It works, because swiftly, you feel your stomach flip: butterflies blooming in the pits of your abdomen at his praise.
Against your will, a smile creeps onto your face - the corners of your lips tugging, and, “Thank you,” you mutter under your breath. A tinkling laugh slips through Jimin’s lips, and he bumps his shoulder into yours.
“You’re a perfectionist and a hard worker, ____. Both of those traits make a good Potioneer, ____. Which you are. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here. You need to stop beating yourself up over small things,” he continues. His face is twisted into a bright smile, his plump lips stretched thin and displaying his teeth, as the apples of his cheeks bunch under his eyes - causing his eyelids to slit into thin, crescent-moons. Your own lips tug into a sheepish smile, and you look at him gratefully.
“I know… it’s just such a silly mistake,” you respond.
Jimin snorts at your answer, and, “Everyone makes silly mistakes. Even a Potions Master or Mistress. It’s inevitable with the amount of potions we brew,” he scoffs. His words placate you even further, and you feel your earlier upset fade to nothingness - replaced by ease. Sensing the fact that you’ve perked up, Jimin grabs the rest of the prepared ingredients for the Skele-Gro potion. You look at him in surprise, Jimin simply smiling kindly in response.
“Why don’t you focus on the Wound-Cleaning potion? I’ll finish up the Skele-Gro,” he suggests. Swiftly, you shake your head.
“No, no. It’s okay! I’ll be more careful! You don’t need to help if you’re busy,” you quickly refuse - not wanting to be a burden - as you reach for the ingredients once again. Jimin simply scowls, and holding out his arms, he uses his strength to bar your hands from touching the tray.
“I’m not busy - I was just doing some light research on Phoenix Tears. Now be a goodgirl and let me help you,” he hisses. The instant the command falls from his lips, you feel your stomach twist, and your eyes widen slightly at the command. For a moment you still, not expecting them. There’s a playful lilt to his voice, and you know he doesn’t mean anything by it; yet, you still find your arms obediently dropping to your side.
Head ducking down, you turn your gaze to the surface of the table in front of you, in an attempt to hide your face from Jimin’s view. It would not do well for him to see the barest hint of a blush on your face. Especially since he hadn’t meant it in that way in the first place. Nodding your head, you acquiesce to him, and begin working on your potion once again; Jimin taking over for the second one.
The two of you work in near silence - the quiet broken up by the sounds of the bubbling potion, and the hissing of the fire. Intermittently, the blunt sound of chopping or the sound of the pestle grinding into the mortar echoes through the air: the two of you continuously prepping your ingredients as you brew your potion. With how close you are to each other, you practically invade each other’s space, and yet, as if by magic, neither of you get into each other’s way. While you concoct your respective draughts, every now and then, you find your attention wandering towards Jimin.
In the midst of brewing, Jimin is fascinatingly exquisite. That’s the only way you could describe it. Warm honey-kissed skin glows under the saffron lights of your dorms, the high arcs of his cheekbones glistening with every movement. The button of his nose is slightly scrunched, and similarly, his lips are pulled into a tight purse: his entire visage an epitome of concentration. The potion is easy, and an elixir he could very well brew in his sleep. Nevertheless, he focuses on each and every one of his actions, working meticulously and methodically as he concocts his potion.
Deft hands move expertly, alternating from preparing the different ingredients and adding them to the mixture, to carefully stirring the potion. Umber eyes scrupulously watch the simmering cauldron, his keenly trained gaze observing the elixir for even the slightest changes. You have no doubt that under his ever watchful eyes, the potion will be of the highest quality, even with how relatively easy it is to create. At some point, you finish your potion, and turning off of your bunsen burner, you turn your attention to Jimin. Unable to help yourself, you find yourself completely lost in how he effortlessly works; each movement, each gesture, completely second nature to him. It’s an artform. It has to be. At least, with the way he works it is.
You don’t know how long you watch him - but with each second that passes, you note something more about Jimin. You notice the way his eyes light up every time he successfully completes a stage, and the way the soft skin of his eyelids flutter, thick eyelashes kissing his cheeks, every time he blinks. You notice the slight sheen of perspiration that coats the back of his neck, most likely from the heat of the bunsen burner, rather than tenseness. Mesmerised by the movement, you follow a single drop of sweat - watching the way it trails down the thick curve of his neck and over the subtle bulge of his Adam’s apple, before percolating into the collar of his shirt.
Out of the blue, Jimin lets out a deep sigh, and with how intensely you observe him, you notice the way his shoulders ease - the movement so faint your eyes essentially strain to spot the movement. The motion is surprising, because the potion is easy, and yet, he still felt some level of tension. Though, that only leads you to appreciate him and his love for potions even more. Potion Making is easy for Jimin, and for the greatest part of it, it comes instinctually to him - but still, he takes the utmost care with each brew - no matter what the difficulty.
A strained groan resonates through the air, Jimin’s throat rumbling as he stretches out the kinks in his muscles. Thoughtlessly, he lifts his arms above his head, the muscles of his biceps pulling taut against the material of his shirt, and the motion causes the hem of his shirt to rise above the waistband of his black slacks. Against your will, your gaze finds itself drawn towards his waist, your eyes honing in on the sliver of his smooth skin of his hips that peeks through the gap. You don’t eye it for long, however, because as soon as it comes it's gone, Jimin’s hands drop down to his sides; the shirt’s hem consequently falling back into place.
“Are you all done?” his voice suddenly tears through the silence, and abruptly, your eyes snap back up to his - watching as he flicks off the flame under his cauldron.
“W-What?” you stutter, prompting Jimin to arch a strong eyebrow.
“Are you done with the Wound-Cleaning potion?” Jimin reiterates, purposely enunciating each of his words. Owlishly, you blink at him, your stare completely blank. At the same time, your brain slowly processes his words, your mind still slightly spellbound by his previous beguile, and eventually, you process his words.
Jerking slightly, “Yes!” you practically yelp, only to wince at the loudness of your own voice. Swiftly, you compose yourself, and clearing your throat, “Sorry… yes. I’m done,” you mumble. A look of concern flashes across Jimin’s face, and carefully he sweeps his gaze over you.
“Are you okay?” he asks, and the clear worry etched into his voice has your heart fluttering.
“Y-Yes,” you squeak out, wanting nothing more than to bury yourself into the blanket over your laps. For a fleeting instant, Jimin watches you carefully, and momentarily, you fear he’s going to press you further. Nonetheless, a couple of seconds later, he’s shrugging you off.
Glancing at the grandfather clock nestled in one unassuming corner of your shared common room, “Oh wow. Has it really been that long? It’s almost dinner time,” he murmurs, an astonished inflexion lacing his voice. Following his gaze, your own eyebrows widen when you spot the ornate clock, the baroque hands reading six-thirty. “I’m going to go shower and then head down,” Jimin begins as he gets up from his space beside you. His movement causes the blanket to partially fall off of your lap, exposing your right leg to the air, and involuntarily, you shudder at the cold.
“Go on then, I’ll wait for you,” you readily respond as you pull the blanket back over your lap. Drawn up to his full height, Jimin looks down at you curiously.
“Are you sure? I may be a while,” he replies, causing you to shrug and wave him off.
Waving your wand, you mutter an ‘Accio’ and summon a book from the shelves that line one wall of the common room. “Take as long as you need. I’m not hungry right now anyway. We can go down together when you’re done,” comes your own response.
Spinning on the heels of his Dragonhide boots, “Alright then. Thanks, ____,” he calls out as he walks back towards the bathroom. Your only response in a noncommittal hum, your attention already drawn to the book.
It’s almost half an hour later, when you hear Jimin return from the shower. Automatically peering up from your book, you move to close it - now more than hungry and ready to go down to dinner. Nonetheless, the moment you spot Jimin, you find yourself freezing. The door to the bathroom is wide open, clouds of steam gently drifting through the threshold and dancing around his frame as he steps into the common room. However, it’s not the water vapour that has your attention. No. it’s Jimin.
The very Jimin who is dressed in nothing but a thick towel wrapped around his waist.
Park Jimin is by no means short. Of course, compared to some of the other wizards that inhabit the castle, he’s not considered tall either. Nonetheless, he stands imposingly - a raw, powerful swagger that rolls off of his demeanour with every movement. It’s no wonder he’s considered the Slytherin Prince, and as he practically saunters out of the bathroom, with just a towel hanging off of his otherwise naked frame, you can’t help but feel that domineering aura. Droplets of water bead his skin, forming little rivulets as they run down his body and towards the hem of his towel.
The sheen of water that glazes his flesh catches the torchlight that surrounds you, causing his skin to glisten as he’s encased in a halo of gold. His hair is slightly damp, the deep green shade blackening to onyx; the wet tips sticking to his face. Helpless under his charm, your eyes trail down his body: from the corded muscles of his shoulders, down the smooth expanse of his torso - stopping briefly to take in the dusky-mauve nipples that grace his pectorals - and along the faint outline of his abs. When you get to the hem of the towel, your eyes coast over the definition of his hips: your heated stare charting the prominent ‘v’ that carves itself into his pelvis.
Trailing your gaze further down, you level it at his covered crotch. The terry cloth material of his towel is bulky, and effectively hides the rest off his body from your gaze - the bottom edge grazing just past his knees. Still, as he walks, you spot the barest hint of his muscular thigh - the limb peeking through the slit of the towel as he walks towards his bedroom. With each movement, heat flashes across your skin, your spine tingling as you find your stare honed in on his pelvis.
Then, all of a sudden, he’s stopping.
“See something you like, Sweetheart?” Jimin drawls, his voice cutting the terse silence that enwraps the room. Abruptly, you break from your trance, your gaze snapping up to his face.
His arms are crossed across his chest: the sinewy muscles of his biceps bulging under the movement; and his hip is cocked to the side, his knee sticking out through the fabric of his towel as he gazes at you. Wry, but voluptuous, lips are twisted: the thick petals of his mouth pulled in a lop-sided smirk, his teeth poking between the seam - almost predatorily; and taupe-brown eyes twinkle with mischief: a playful light dancing in the onyx depths. From the knowing glint to them, you know he’s spotted you brazenly devouring him with your gaze.
Heat immediately crawls over your cheeks, and you audible swallow, your throat suddenly tight. “N-No,” you squeak out, your head ducking further under the cover of your book. Though, even as you do that, your eyes peek over the edge - an action Jimin easily catches.
Smirk widening into a wolfish grin, “Are you sure, Princess?” he purrs and, hearing the nickname, you can’t help the way your stomach knots in the pit of your abdomen.
“Y-Yes,” you stammer, your body curling further into the side of the sofa - in a bid to make yourself seem smaller. Jimin hums in response. The deep tremors reverberate through the air, echoing through the quiet common room and causing your breath to hitch.
Jimin’s tongue pokes out through the seam of his pouty mouth, and after swiping it across the plush bottom lip, he pulls the petal between his teeth. The act is incredibly enticing: the plush flesh slowly slipping from under his incisors before plumping out once more. Entranced by the movement, your eyes narrow onto his lips, and you suddenly feel your throat run dry. Spotting the way your attention focuses onto his mouth, Jimin lets out a low chuckle, and hearing the rich sound vibrate through the air, you inhale a sharp audible breath.
The sound resonates through the common room, heightened by the quiet - and swiftly, you feel the heat that stains your skin intensify. Body burning under your own embarrassment, you practically curl into the foetal position: your knees pulling towards your chest, a small squeak emanating through your mouth. Hearing the sound, Jimin simply chuckles again, and this time, taking pity on your form, he drops the subject and walks towards his bedroom.
“Cute,” he laughs you off as he shuts the door to his private room. The moment you hear that word, you can’t help the pout that forms onto your face, nor the way you blush ever harder.
Cute.
God you hated when he teased you like that. Partly because of the way a fuzzy warmth settles into your stomach, and partly because you know that’s all you’ll ever be to Park Jimin.
Cute.
Having lived with Jimin for three years, you think you know him pretty well. You know him well enough to know that he keeps Sugar Quills hidden around the dorm, practically addicted to the confectionery; and that he writes letters to his mother once a week, usually on Saturday, in his free time. You know that when he’s had a particularly hard week, he unwinds by reading his prized, first edition copy of ‘The Twelve Uses of Dragon’s Blood’ - a tome he’s had to have read thousands of times by now. You know that despite him being the heir to the Park name - an age old, aristocratic pureblood line that dates back centuries - he doesn’t care about status, or power, and rather judges people on their own merits and hardwork.
You also know that Park Jimin, as sweet as he is, is the biggest playboy the school has ever seen - actively flirting with any and all the other apprentices from the other subjects. It’s not like he could help it. In fact, you’re sure that it’s practically ingrained in his nature. Though, when he looks like that - a frightening middle between incredibly adorable and devastatingly sexy - you sort of understand it. Because if you looked like that, you’d take any and every opportunity to use it as best as you could. And Park Jimin definitely used his allure
A terrifying mix of cunning, ambitious, sweet and distressingly handsome, Park Jimin has probably broken more hearts than you can count; and is most likely the sole reason for every Apprentice’s wet dreams. Girls flocked to him, and boys wanted to be him - so it’s no surprise that Jimin was highly sought after - nor that he was the biggest flirt you’ve ever met. Hence why you hated when he flirted with you. Mostly because, you know he never does it seriously. And also because the last thing any of the girls he actually flirts with are, is cute.
You would know.
You’ve seen them sneak out of your dorms on the off chance he brings them over. Though, more often than not, he tends to sneak into their private quarters. That is, of course, if they aren’t one of the Potions Apprentices from the lower years. You and Jimin being in your third year of the Apprentice program, and your tenth and final year of Hogwarts. That is, of course, unless either of you choose to do your Mastership - which would be another five years.
If you’re being honest, you don’t really have anything against being cute - mainly because when he says it, he says it with a sweet smile. What you do have against it, however, is that he says it almost as if you’re a child, and not a grown, twenty-one-year-old woman. Though, that may be more to do with your own shyness and inexperience; especially in terms of the opposite sex. But still, you couldn’t deny that it hurts sharing a dorm with Jimin, and being in such close proximity, and yet still having him not be attracted to you.
Sure, he flirts with you - using any opportunity he can get to tease the ever-loving hell out of you. But it’s not like he means it, or that he ever takes it any further than his flirtatious banter. Not like he does with most other girls. No. When Jimin flirts with you, there’s always an air of jest, and restraint around him. He doesn’t stare at you with his smouldering gaze - as if he could devour you whole with just his eyes. He doesn’t lower his voice to that raspy husk of his - the one that is filled with a promise of sin. And he definitely doesn’t exude that same aura of raw dominance - the one that has most girls’ cores trembling with an ache that only he can satiate.
Of course, what you do have, in comparison to those other girls, is Jimin’s friendship - which is more than you can say for most of them. Particularly because most of Jimin’s friends tend to be the other guys on the Apprentice Program. After all, it’s hard to befriend the people you’re constantly trying to sleep with, or have slept with. You think. You don’t really know… You know, considering your own sexual inexperience with other men. Yes, Jimin has never shown any interest in you, and he’s never really flirted with you seriously, but at least you can say that you’re actual friends, and that you get on with each other beyond wanting to tear each other’s clothes off.
Although, needless to say, you doubt he’s ever thought of tearing your clothes off.
Which is… not something you can say about yourself.
Lost in your own thoughts, you don’t notice Jimin return - now fully dressed. At least, not until you feel his plush lips ghost against your ear. “Are you ready to go?” comes the low, sultry purr of his voice. Not expecting the sound, you immediately jump in your seat, your head whipping to the side as you stare at him wide eyed. Once again, you come face to face with him - the proximity making you jerk back with a strangled cry.
“Jimin!” you shriek in surprise, and your choked yelp has the Head Boy bursting into a peal of laughter. Heart thundering within the confines of your chest, and the ever-present flush of embarrassment painting your cheeks once again, “Stop doing that!” you chastise, your face twisting into a sulk as you glare at him. Entire body wracked with laughter, Jimin heaves for air as he tries to catch his breath - short gasps breaking through his howling.
When he continues to laugh, your lips twist into a deeper pout, and your glare intensifies; and sensing your rising ire, Jimin swiftly holds up his hands in a motion of surrender. “Sorry, Sorry. You were just so lost in thought, I couldn’t help it,” he chuckles while wiping his teary eyes. “What were you thinking about that had you so enraptured?” he asks, an impudent smile etched onto his lips. Remembering just whatyou’d been thinking about, your blush deepens, and you swiftly shake your head.
“Nothing!” you quickly interject. The abruptness of your answer has Jimin cocking his eyebrow, and eyes narrowing playfully, he looks at you - mischief dancing in his dark eyes.
“Oh? Doesn’t sound like nothing,” he purrs. Then, eyes widening in thought, a smirk creeps onto his face, “Hmmm. Were you thinking about me? Maybe something along the lines about how you’d seen me in just a towel a little earlier?” he croons, and you suck in a sharp breath at the low huskiness to his voice. That’s a first.
Pulling your lip between your teeth, you swiftly shake your head while throwing the blanket off of you. “N-No. I was thinking a-about how h-hungry I am,” you quickly snap, wincing slightly at the shakiness to your voice. It’s a brazen lie. Even you don’t believe you. And there’s no way in hell that Jimin does, at least not from the sly smirk curled onto his lips.
“Are you now? Hungry for food, or something else?” he teasingly quips, causing you to huff.
“S-Shut up. Let’s just go,” you mutter under your breath, your head angled to the ground as to try to hide your own mortification.
Jimin simply laughs at you, his shoulders shaking with mirth, “Whatever you say, Princess.”
Tumblr media
On the seventh floor of the North Tower, the next day, you sit in the Divination classroom. Warped shelves frame the circular room, cluttered with various odd curios. Fading tarot cards, argentate scrying mirrors and lustrous crystal balls fill half of the shelves; china teacups, dust-lined feathers, and candle stubs filling the other half. Wooden furniture crams the room, the walnut timber long since scratched, chipped and faded: ravaged with time as some edges collect dust. The classroom is dim, with a few shafts of mellowed sunlight filtering through the greyed, heavy velvet curtains that hang from the tops of the arched windows.
Chandeliers dangled by wrought iron chains - and sheer, red scarves cover the lamps, bathing the room in an eerie crimson glow. A fireplace sits in the front of the room - right by Professor Trelawney’s table - the amber fire flickering behind cast iron grating. Though, rather than illuminating the space in its light, the dancing flames only add to the arcane feel surrounding the room. A brass kettle swings over the hearth as the tea leaves steep; and a sweet, woody scent wafts through the room. Sat at one of the many round tables nestled inside the room, you sink further into the paisley upholstered armchair, watching as the girl opposite you shuffles the Tarot deck effortlessly.
“Do you want a specific reading?” Eve, the eighth year prefect, asks.
Shrugging noncommittally, “Just whatever,” you reply. Eve huffs for a second time, blowing a thick black curl out of her eyes before glaring at you.
“You could at least attempt to take Divination seriously you know, even if you don’t believe in it,” she scolds.
Sending her an apologetic smile, “You know I’m only here to help you with your Divination homework.” Once again, Eve huffs. Nonetheless, with the way her shoulders relax, you know she doesn’t take offence by your words.
“Alright fine,” she sighs in defeat. Then, sending you a grateful look, “Thank you for this by the way. I know you’re busy, being Head Girl and in the last year of your Apprenticeship and all,” she continues, her nose wrinkling in the slightest.
Gracing Eve with a kind smile, you casually wave her off, “It’s alright. I owe you for helping us out anyway,” you respond. From behind you, you hear a low chuckle, causing the hair at the back of your neck to stand on edge as you hear the rich sound.
“You mean we owe her one, Princess.” Breath catching in your throat, you swallow imperceptibly, willing yourself to calm down. “Well, more specifically, I owe her one,” he continues as an afterthought.
His words cause your stomach to flip, butterflies flurrying through and leaving a fuzzy feeling in the pit of your abdomen. Angling your body in the chair, you turn, only to be met face to face with Jimin. With how cramped the Divination classroom is, there’s usually barely any space between the side edges of the various chairs. However, currently, the classroom is mostly empty, less than ten of you occupying it. And yet, somehow, you still find yourself impossibly close to him.
Eyes blowing out marginally, your mouth forms a surprised ‘o’ at the distance, or lack thereof, between the two of you. With how close you are, you can smell his sickeningly sweet breath - the scent of Sugar Quills so strong you can practically taste them on your taste buds. Swiftly realising your position, you back away in an abrupt movement - your chair scraping against the hardwood flooring. The screeching noise draws the attention of the other students, the muted, ambient murmurs coming to a halt as they turn to you.
Your cheeks immediately flush, the heat of embarrassment crawling from your throat to the tips of your ears. Ducking your head down, you sheepishly smile at the class and mumble out a ‘sorry’. At your apology, the rest of the students quickly turn back to their divinations, causing you to let out a breath of relief. Only for it to hitch when you hear the light tremors of Jimin’s tinkling laugh.
Turning back around, you flick your gaze over Jimin’s face. Dark hair - the colour of blackened pine - frames his face, the strands falling like silk over his head. His locks are parted in the middle today, rather than hanging loosely in front of his forehead, and the front-most tresses bear a slight wave; revealing soft lids and sharp brown eyes. Dressed in his white oxford shirt - his Slytherin robes hung loosely over the backrest - and his sleeves rolled up to the elbow, he looks the epitome of sin. It doesn’t help that his tie is loose around his neck either, the top button of his collar undone and revealing the thick arc of his throat, and the barest hint of his defined collarbones.
He’s lounging in his chair, his ankles crossed as he stretches them under the table. One of his elbows is pressed to the armrest, leaning his chin on the base of his palm, while his other arm is stretched out, long fingers drumming casually on the table. As your gaze roves over him, you can’t help the fuzzy feeling that settles in your stomach as he stares at you - obsidian eyes practically staring into your soul. Easily, he spots the fact that you’re staring at him, and immediately, a teasing smirk pulls at generous lips, his strong eyebrow quirking playfully.
“See something you like, Sweetheart?” he purrs, his sweet voice a few octaves lower as he mimics the sentiment from last night. The memory him dressed in nothing but a towel flashes in your mind: the sight of his muscular, wet body ingrained so deeply in your mind that just the recollection of it manifests itself as something incredibly tangible. A shiver runs down your spine at memory, as well as the deep tremors of his voice, and as the hairs at the back of your neck stand on edge, you duck your head - in a bid to hide your flushing cheeks.
“N-No,” you stutter out, and with the way your voice croaks, your blush deepens. Hearing your stammer, Jimin’s grin widens - his heated gaze roving over you almost predatorily. Responsively, you feel yourself shying from his eyes, your body curling into itself protectively.
Noting your reaction, Jimin lets out an airy laugh. God, you were such a Hufflepuff. He wasn’t one to often believe in the whole ‘students embodied their house traits’ bullshit - after all, people weren’t set into specific personality moulds. But when it came to you? It couldn’t be more true. A Hufflepuff through and through, you’re as hardworking as you are kind - and downright humble about it. It had been an incredible surprise when you’d been chosen as the Head-Girl beside him, most people expecting it to go to Penelope Graham. However, to everyone’s utter shock, it had gone to you instead, your scores in the Apprenticeship second only to himself. A fact that you’d kept to yourself, despite Penelope being one of the brightest Ravenclaws Hogwarts had ever seen, and a stellar Herbology Apprentice.
Thus, your grades, paired with your hard work throughout the years; not to mention your kindness, and willingness to help anyone, had landed you the Head Girl position. A choice that was still a sore subject for Penelope, who would lament about it to anyone and everyone. Nevertheless, if Jimin was being completely honest about it, however, he much preferred you to Penelope. And not just because Penelope didn’t know how to shut her mouth. Even when it was full of his cock. Though, he’d also be lying if he said it wasn’t partially because of that. Really, he didn’t know how she managed to prattle off constantly while still managing to breathe, and sucking his dick. It was almost magic. Pardon the pun.
No, you were a much better fit to him. Your patience was known through the school, and paired with your strong sense of fairness, it meant that most pupils, if not all, would more often approach you for help with their problems. And as a happy result, they’d leave him alone to get on with the more important duties. In fact, that’s exactly how you’d split your workload: you’d handle the student-body and prefects and anything pertaining to people in general, and he’d work on the other more mundane tasks; such as patrol duties, ensuring Prefect rosters for Hogsmeade weekends were sorted and all those odd bits and bobs.
Needless to say, it’s not like Jimin didn’t want to help the students. He doesn’t mindhelping them, and as Head Boy, he’d be duty bound to sort out whatever petty problems they have. He’d just do it begrudgingly, because the last thing he cares about are the frivolous issues of the student body. Really, who cared if Jonah Robins sat at the table Amber Cowen and her friends usually sat at in the library? A problem he knew you’d dealt with just a little over a week ago. Somehow, you’d managed to convince Jonah to leave the girls alone and all balance between the third years had settled. Something which caused Jimin to scoff. See, if it had been him dealing with it, he’d just tell the girls to find another table. Because it’s a table and it didn’t matter where they sat, as long as they did their work.
But that’s just him.
You, on the other hand, had a better sense of justice - and finding out that Jonah had purposely sat at the table to annoy the girls - you’d gotten him to move. Of course, most of the problems presented by the students were of similar nature - and Jimin didn’t understand how you had the tolerance to deal with them day in and day out without going insane. Though, that was just another one of the classic Hufflepuff traits manifesting in your personality. Honestly, he doesn’t think he’s ever met someone more Hufflepuff in his life.
“Uhh… Jimin?” you quietly call out to him, and his eyes widen slightly as he’s broken out of his contemplative reverie. Facial expression relaxing, Jimin realises he must have been intensely scrutinising you for the past couple of minutes - completely lost in his own thoughts.
Eyes casting over your face, he observes you for a moment. You refuse to look at him, your eyes skimming over the room as you actively avoid his gaze. Incessantly, you cross and uncross your legs, your body fidgeting under his heavy stare, and sensing the thick waves of nervousness that exude off of your being, Jimin’s lips twist into a mischievous smirk. And there it was. The one trait of yours that had piqued his attention when he’d first been officially introduced to you three years ago. Your timidness.
“Is something the matter, Princess?” he drawls, a perfectly trimmed eyebrow cocking. Immediately, you freeze, your cheeks heating even further as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth; only to gnaw at it. God, Jimin groans internally, you were so easy to provoke.
“N-No,” you stammer once again.
Lolling his head to the side, and resting his cheek in his palm, Jimin graces you with a sly smile. “Really? You look like you have something on your mind?” Then, flashing his teeth almost devilishly, “Maybe something from last night?” he hums. There’s clear innuendo in his voice, and unintentionally, you let out a little squeak. The sound is high-pitched, and just barely audible as it’s forced from the back of your throat.
“Last night?” Eve asks, her voice curious as she glances between the two of you. The heat of your mortification burns even brighter, so inflamed now that it starts sweltering your skin. Breath caught in your throat, you gnaw even harder on your lips - almost breaking the skin from how much you chew it. What are you going to even tell her? Nonetheless, before you can come up with an excuse, Jimin is already opening up his mouth.
“Just a small mishap in the Potions Apprentice Common Room. It’s none of your business. Shouldn’t you get on with your reading, anyway? I’d like to go back as soon as possible,” he interrupts, drawing Eve’s attention back to her homework. Face scrunching in distaste, she glowers at him.
With a huff, “You’re clearly lying to me. But fine, if you don’t want to tell me that’s your business,” she mutters, a scowl curled on her lips. Then after a short pause, “Also, if you don’t want to be here you don’t have to be. Feel free to leave,” she bites. Jimin discernibly bristles, and sensing his rising indignation - most likely from Eve’s snapping at him - you quickly hold up a hand.
“Why don’t we all just calm down?” you calmly say, smiling gently at both of them. Both Eve and Jimin open their mouths to argue, before closing them; Jimin shrugging his shoulders offhandedly while Eve lets out a deep, conceding breath. Turning to Jimin, your earlier embarrassment slowly ebbs away and you clear your throat, “You don’t have to be here you know. I was the one who offered to help.”
Jimin scoffs in response before waving you off dismissively. “The only reason you offered to help was so that Eve would take up setting up the Yule ball in my place,” he begins.
“Yes, because you have that Wizarding Chess competition you want to go to,” you butt in, causing Jimin to nod.
“Yeah. A competition I could have skipped. But you asked Eve to help you instead, so I could basically shirk my Head Boy duties, and it’s now more work for you,” he explains. Once again, you shake your head.
“It’s not that much work. Besides, I don’t mind. You’ve been talking about this tournament since last year, I know you’ve been looking forward to it,” you cut him off once again. Jimin halts for a moment, simply looking at you, a picture perfect expression of stoicism painted across his face.
Honestly, who were you trying to kid? He knows how much work the Yule ball is, and that while third-year Apprentice’s tend to have more free time (and hence why they now have the Head Boy or Girl position in comparison to seventh year N.E.W.T students), you’ve taken up a few more of the Prefect’s duties, since the seventh year Winter Exams are coming up soon. More than that, with how often students come up to you for help, your official duties tend to get pushed on the backburner even further. Hence why you’d had to brew three potions last night. Once again, he has no idea how you do it. Or why you do it. You’re way too courteous, and far too kind - even to the people you don’t know.
Letting out a sigh, “It is more work. Which is why I’m here. Even if I’m not really helping, I’m going to see it through with you,” Jimin says. Involuntarily, you feel your chest tighten, that telltale warmth flurrying through your stomach as your heart flutters within your chest. Before you can thank him, however, Eve bangs her tarot deck on the table.
“Maybe you’ll let me do a reading for you then?” she asks, her top lip curling shrewdly as she smirks at Jimin. The Slytherin Head Boy simply sneers in response.
Turning his attention back to his open textbook, “Yeah sure. When Merlin rises from the dead,” he snickers under his breath. Then, “Just get on with the reading,” he mutters. Eve’s mouth curls into a snarl, but before the eighth-year Gryffindor can respond, you draw her attention.
“Should we start?” you say, an encouraging smile on your face. Eve’s gaze flicks to behind you, and for a moment, you think she’s going to say something. However, she simply takes a deep breath and calms herself down.
“Alright, yeah,” she says, returning her own apologetic smile. “You don’t want any particular reading, do you?” she asks, and when you shake your head, she smiles. “Then, it’s okay if I pick one?” she questions. This time you nod, and Eve’s smile brightens. “Alright, wonderful! Then… I’m going to do one on love and sex,” she continues. Immediately, you choke on your own spit.
“Eve!” you splutter, causing her to look at you, her eyes glinting mischievously.
“What? I’m almost nineteen, I’m allowed to do them,” she says, her voice laced with faux innocence. Scowling slightly, you send her a pointed look.
“That’s not the point!” you try to argue.
Swiftly, a coy smile creeps onto Eve’s lips, “Oh? Does the prim and proper Head Girl have something to hide?” she sing-songs. Feeling an intense stare on the back of your head, the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You don’t even need to turn around. You already know Jimin’s attention is on you both once again.
“N-No! It’s just-” you begin, only to deflate. What could you even say? Sensing your defeat, Eve snickers.
“Well, if you don’t, then there’s nothing wrong with me doing one, is there?” she asks. With no way out of the situation, your shoulders fall and you let out a muted noise of concession. “Perfect! Then, I’ll begin,” Eve continues.
With her mind made up, Eve begins to work. She starts by setting up her reading space: placing three candles onto the table. A pink one sits at the top of the table, right in front of you, while a white one sits in the left corner on her side, a purple one on the other. The candles form a large triangle, her tarot deck placed right in front of her, and an incense burner sitting right in the middle of the table. After the candles, she begins by placing her crystals down: rose-quartz and garnet are placed on the corners beside the pink candle on your side, and then an onyx on her side - in another triangular shape. Once she’s set up, she waves her wand - four bottles flying from one of the shelves that lines the classroom and into her hand. From the inky scrawl on the labels, you read them as ‘dried cherries, ‘saffron sprigs’, ‘steeped deer musk’ and ‘jasmine-infused oil’.
Meticulously, she adds the ingredients to her incense pot: exactly four teaspoons of dried cherries, half a sprig of saffron and three drops of the steeped deer musk. Once she’s done, she adds two tablespoons of the jasmine oil, before crushing it all together using a pestle. Once the mixture has formed a smooth paste, she inspects the concoction, before nodding in satisfaction - happy with her handy work. Carefully, you watch her. The eighth year Gryffindor is sly, and witty, and more often than not a handful to deal with. Still, she’s kind, and helpful; and when practising Divination - her favourite subject - there is no one who’s more reverent than her.
Fully prepared to begin her reading, Eve finally closes her eyes, and levelling her breathing, she takes in deep inhale before exhaling shallowly. From your divination class in fourth year, you know that she’s trying to find the centre of her magic. It only takes her a few moments, and then, she opens her eyes. Muttering a few spells under her breath, she points her wand towards the candles, slowly bringing them to life. She starts with the white candle, and then the purple, and finally the pink; and when she’s done, she taps her wand onto the incense burner.
Immediately, the mixture is enkindled, visible puffs of smoke wafting from the paste and into the air. The scent is rich, and fragrant - the notes of jasmine and cherry entwining together in a sweet aroma that has you entranced. The light perfume is deepened by the scent of the saffron and musk; the two heavier notes cutting the floral essence with a darker, more sensuous odour. The incense is inebriating, and calming at the same time, and you find yourself readily wanting to dive deeper into it’s intoxicating hold - let the scent consume you and lull you deep into its grasp.
With her ritual completed, she places her wand down onto the table beside and after a quick shuffle of her deck, she closes her eyes once again. Lips moving subtly, you hear her lowly mutter another spell, and then, she begins pulling the cards. Enraptured by her movements, you watch as she draws exactly five cards, placing them in a pentacle shape around the burner, and in the middle of the triangles of crystals and candles. Her eyes remain closed until she draws the fifth card, and then, eyebrows cinching slightly, she mutters another spell before finally opening her eyes.
Glancing down at the spread, she cocks her eyebrow, a small frown marring her face. The slight perturbation etched on her face has you intrigued, and practically on the edge of your seat, you wait for her to say something. You don’t have to wait long, however, because letting out a surprised whistle, “Well, this is certainly unexpected,” she breathes out.
“It is?” you ask, shuffling to the edge of your seat as you look at the cards closer. Eve hums in response.
“Yeah. The first card - The Hanged Man. You’re in need of urgent release. You’ve become rigid and careful, and there’s a strong need to release your inhibitions,” she begins. Only to pause, “But… you’re indecisive about what you want, and this suspension of your feelings is causing a sense of unhappiness. You need to open yourself emotionally, and more physically,” Eve begins explaining, her manicured nail tapping at the card as she speaks. Hearing her words, you immediately freeze, your muscles locking as Jimin’s face suddenly flashes in the back of your mind.
Oblivious to your shock, Eve continues, her finger moving to the next card, “The Devil. Usually, this card is ominous, and bears a sinister edge; one that most fear. However, in this reading, it’s a symbol of intense hedonism and fervent passion. It’s a card full of lust, an indicator for an intense yearning for a person. There’s a desire to submit; an overwhelming physical urge.” Her voice hangs heavy in the air, and with each word she utters, you feel yourself growing hotter and hotter; your collar suddenly tight. However, you refuse to move. You can’t move. Because you can feel Jimin’s heavy stare behind you, his presence magnified by the sudden silence of the room.
The dull sear of mortification settles in the pit of your stomach, and suddenly, you can feel all the students’ gaze on you. None of them, however, are as intense as Jimin’s; his eyes practically boring into the back of your skull. You want to open your mouth, to tell Eve to stop, lest you embarrass yourself any further. Nonetheless, you simply can’t bring yourself to do it. You don’t know why. Perhaps, it’s because your mouth is suddenly dry, almost as if you’ve swallowed cotton. Perchance it’s because your throat is tight, the muscles suddenly constricting - stifling any words that form in the back of your pharynx.
Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because a small, masochistic part of you is curious: intrigued by what else Eve will say, what else she will reveal… and perhaps even Jimin’s reaction.
“When The Lovers follow The Devil, that’s usually a sign of not only balanced, emotional love, but also physical desire. There’s a need to be touched, to be claimed, and consumed; and an even greater sexual hunger that covets your partner, or the object of your desires. You want to truly submit, with implicit trust and consent, to this person,” Eve’s deep, yet distant, voice continues. Again, however, she pauses - almost as if in thought, and staring intensely at the card, she bites her lips. “This could also be a sign that the person you desire, desires you back,” she mutters.
That has you audibly snorting. Yeah, right. You highly doubt that. For a moment, Eve flicks her gaze to you, her eyebrow quirking in intrigue, and swiftly, you send her an apologetic smile. Shifting in your seat, you sheepishly gesture for her to continue. Eve’s stare falls back to her cards, her hand moving to the fourth, and penultimate card.
“The Tower. The fear that giving into these lustful urges will be your undoing. To give into your desires will be to bring about a change that you aren’t necessarily ready for - or maybe that you think you’re not ready for - since it’ll lead to a significant change in your life. Still, this card is one of extreme surrender to chaos, a surrender that you are refusing, or resisting,” she begins once again.
Then, circling her nail around the card, and tapping - two audible thuds resounding through the air, “Nevertheless, the liberation that comes from giving in is an extraordinary release, even if the act of giving in is terrifying. The Tower is an important card. It is one that cannot and will not be avoided. The major life change must happen. It must be experienced for you to progress in life,” she foretells, her voice almost foreboding.
“Which brings us to the last, and final card. The Ace of Pentacles. This is usually a symbol about fresh career starts. However, in a reading about love, it tends to read as an egg wanting to be fertilised. The ten of pentacles is a family oriented card, but this one is the act of conception; the desire to engage in sex. However, it’s more than just carnal hunger. You want this person; truly and utterly. More than you probably even realise,” and with that last declaration, Eve finishes her reading.
A strong silence befalls the classroom, her last words lingering in the air and echoing in your mind over and over again. For long, drawn out moments, neither of you say anything - you: because you’re caught between mortified and speechless, and Eve: to let you truly grasp and process her words. The few students that straggle about are equally quiet, more than fascinated by the surprising divination. None, however, are more surprised than Jimin.
Unable to tear his eyes from the back of your head, he simply gawks at you. Truth be told, like you, he doesn’t believe in Divination; even with its roots nestled deep within magic, it’s still considered an imprecise school of wizardry. That being said, he can’t help the way your taromency has piqued his interest - especially, considering the fact that it’s a reading based on your love and sexual feelings. At first, he’d been ready to ignore both you and Eve, and happily sink into ‘Moste Potente Potions’ - a book he’d managed to liberate from the Restricted Section, thanks to not only his Head Boy status, but also his Apprenticeship.
However, the moment he’d heard Eve explain the first card, he’d been ensnared by your divination. With each word that had slipped out of Eve’s mouth, he’d grown more and more curious, not to mention shocked - because really, there was no way that that was your reading. Jimin has lived with you for three years now, and he likes to think he knows you well enough.
He knows you well enough to know that, no matter what, you refuse to drink pumpkin juice - finding the drink sickening - and yet, you adore pumpkin pasties; a treat you frequently buy on your trips to Hogsmeade. He knows that you can’t fall asleep at night without reading a book - and that you often read ‘The Tales of Beedle the Bard’, having read them so frequently, in fact, that you could probably recite each story word for word. He knows that you aren’t a huge fan of chocolate, but that every month, for one week, you will inhale it like your life depends on it.
He knows you well enough to know that though friendly by nature, your actual friends are few and far between: choosing to give your trust to a select few individuals. You don’t call people your friends lightly, and it gives him immense joy, and pride, that he’s one of the few people you’ve granted that title. Most importantly, however, Jimin knows that you’re completely, and utterly, inexperienced with men. In the decade you’ve been at Hogwarts, not once have you ever had a boyfriend. He knows because he’s asked around. Purely out of curiosity, of course.
With how much time people spent at Hogwarts, rumours tended to be rampant and everyonehad at one point, had a rumour about them and someone else. Everyone, that is, except for you. At first, Jimin had worried that the two of you wouldn’t get along - that your inherent natures would be the complete opposite and that he’d hate you. After all, he didn’t want to spend his Apprenticeship years hating the only other Apprentice in his year. However, after meeting you in his eighth year for the first time, he’d finally understood why you’d never had any rumours. And that was simply because you spent most, if not all, your time studying.
By all means, it was only exacerbated by your incredibly shy, and timid, nature - especially when boys were concerned; but it was primarily because, you just didn’t seem to think about romance or sex. Which was precisely why he had never really given you a second-thought when it came to spending time with you. Of course, he flirted with you, but it was more playful than anything. Mostly because he enjoyed watching the way you’d get flustered, and how you’d stutter to respond to him. It was incredibly cute, and dare he say, endearing.
Yet, even then, he’d never considered actually pursuing you, and even now, he doesn’t know if he would. You’re complete opposites, and he doubts that you’d even wantanything to do with him - especially since you very clearly knew his reputation. His reputation being that his stable, steady girlfriends are few, and far between. More than that, he’d always dismissed you as someone who’d be into vanilla, missionary sex day in day out; and granted, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that if that’s what you liked. But the last thing he, Park Jimin, ever would be, is vanilla. Hence, his reasons for dismissing you as a partner early on.
However, that was before today. Now, he’s not so sure. And not being sure is driving him completely wild. Because now, now he wants to know just what you really are like. Just what really makes you tick in bed.
“So, ____, who’s the object of your desires,” Eve’s voice suddenly breaks the silence, her eyebrows wiggling at you. Breaking from his reverie, Jimin immediately hones his attention on the two of you once again. This, he has to know. He doesn’t know why, but he’s suddenly filled with the burning need to know just who you so carnally want to submit to.
“N-No one,” comes your choked reply, and even though he can’t see you, Jimin already knows that your face is flushed with heat. “I-It must be a wrong reading,” you quickly continue, Eve’s eyebrows shooting into her hairline.
Humming in thought, “Hmmm. It’s all open to interpretation ____, so perhaps,” she ponders out loud. A coquettish smile curls onto her face, and levelling you with her impish stare, “Would you like another reading to be sure?” she asks. Swiftly, you shake your head.
“No, it’s pretty late. And Jimin wanted it to be done as soon as possible,” you quickly interject. Ears perking at the sound of his name, Jimin lets out an airy life.
“Oh no, by all means, do continue if you need to. I remembered I have nowhere to be,” he purrs. Despair floods your stomach at his words, and internally you scowl. He had to choose now to be genial? Really?
“See, Jimin doesn’t mind,” Eve snickers. Letting out a little huff, you quickly get up from your chair and begin gathering your things.
“Still, it is late - almost curfew in fact. You should all start getting to your dorms,” you reply, your voice louder so the rest of the students hanging in the class could hear. A chorus of groans resonate through the air, but nevertheless, they begin packing up their own divination items.
“Spoil sport,” Eve mutters under her breath, however, there’s no real heat to her words; and like everyone else, she too begins clearing the table. As she waves her wand, the bottles, candles and crystals flying back to their original places, “Are you sure you can’t let me do another reading? It would really help,” she asks.
With a sigh, you shake your head, “I’m sorry, I have Head Girl patrol duties tonight, and I still need to get back to the dorms and shower,” you respond.
Behind you, Jimin immediately freezes, his book partially in his bag as he himself gets ready to leave. Now, that’s interesting. Glancing at you from the corner of his eye, he casts his gaze over your body. A lie. A very clear lie - but a good one - because only he would have known it’s a lie. You don’t have Head Girl patrol duties tonight, you know that, and he knows that. Why? Well, because he’s the one who comes up with the patrolling schedules - and you definitely don’t have any tonight. Which begs the question, why are you lying?
Naturally, it could be because you don’t want a second reading, but Jimin has known you three years now, and it’s not often that you refuse to help. Moreover, it’s also not often that you lie - which only has his intrigue growing. Just what were you up to? Not that you do have to be up to something, you really could just not want to have a second reading, and usually, Jimin would happily accept that reading. If it weren’t for the niggling feeling in his gut that it’s something more, and if there’s one thing Park Jimin does, it’s trust his gut feeling.
Hearing your explanation, Eve swiftly deflates. “Alright, that’s fair enough. Still, thank you though. I’m sure Trelawney is going to love this,” she grins. Though, that only has sheer mortification rippling through you. Because really, the last thing you want, is Trelawney hearing about your deepest, darkest feelings. A part of you wants to ask Eve not to use it, however, she’s promised to leave your name out of it, and knowing Trelawney, she’ll barely even pay any attention to it - both facts quickly settling your embarrassment.
“You’re welcome,” you respond with a nod as you gather your bag. Then, turning to Jimin, you tersely smile at him, and, “Ready to go?” you ask - your eyes flicking from his to the space behind him, as if you’re avoiding his gaze.
Momentarily, he looks at you, but no matter how long he stares, you refuse to maintain eye contact. The peculiarity of your actions only has his curiosity growing more aroused. Internally making up his mind to get to the bottom of your behaviour, “Yeah, let’s go,” he simply responds.
Tumblr media
It’s later that very same night, when Jimin finds himself up well past moonrise. Usually, by now, he’d long since be in the comfort of his bed, enjoying the privacy of his own dorm. Or he’d be sneaking into the room of another apprentice. Today, however, he finds himself waiting in the Potions Apprentice common room; nestled on one of the plush velvet armchairs that makes its home by the hearth. Weak flames lick at the scorched wood, the fire waning as it slowly dies out. It bathes the darkened room in a dim light, and despite his position right beside the fireplace, the shadows hide his body well enough.
Internally, he wonders how long he has to wait for you to make a move, for you to sneak outside the common room and towards wherever it was that you wanted to disappear for the night. Really, he doesn’t know why he cares so much, and normally, he wouldn’t; you’re a grown woman after all, and you’re more than welcome to your secrets. Which is what he’d say if you were anyone else. But you’re not. You’re ____ Graves. The same ____ Graves he’s lived with for the past three years, and the last thing you have are secrets. Realistically speaking, he should probably give up and head to bed, because really, why did it matter what you got up to late into the night. However, ever since hearing you so easily lie to Eve, he simply can’t get out the incessant need to find out what you were hiding.
That is, if you are hiding anything. Because really, the later it gets, the more he finds himself wondering if he’s deluded himself into believing that you had secrets in the first place.
Mentally, he wonders if he should just head up to bed. It’s way past curfew, and you don’t seem to have emerged outside of your private bedroom; the rest of the Potions Apprentices having all retired for the night long ago. As he sits in the armchair, he contemplates his decision. It’s nearing midnight now, and you still haven’t so much as moved, and he’s really starting to believe that perhaps you’ve already retired for the night. Just as he shifts, however, he hears a door creak causing him to freeze immediately.
Head snapping to the stairs that lead towards the bedrooms, he watches as you slowly creep out of your bedroom and down the stairs. The common room is dark: the only light source the dwindling flames of the fireplace, and the faint, overcast shafts of moonlight that filter through the still waters of the Black Lake; and as a result, your wand is lit up - the eerie blue-tinted light of the ‘Lumos’ spell guiding your way through the space. Hidden by the shadows of the corner he finds himself in, Jimin’s breath hitches as you carefully tiptoe past him.
To his absolute luck, however, you don’t notice him. Instead, you simply slip out of the portrait that guards the Potions Apprentice Quarters. Jimin waits a couple moments for you to get far enough from the entrance before swiftly following you out. As soon as he slips through the portrait, he sees your frame disappear behind one of the corners, and hastily, he casts a disillusionment charm onto himself, followed by a ‘Muffliato’, before he begins tailing you.
It’s late after curfew, and as a result, the corridors are completely deserted. Iron sconces hang high up the beige brick walls and the flickering amber light illuminates the large, arched halls of the castle. Expertly, you navigate through the maze-like hallways, and with how purposely you move - your feet directing you down a specific route - Jimin knows you’re not out for Head Girl patrol duties. Albeit, he’d already known that. Though, this simply confirms his suspicions.
The entire journey, Jimin keeps a steady distance from you - close enough to keep you in his line of view, yet far enough that you won’t feel his presence. You lead him down twisting and turning corridors, and up towards the Grand Staircase. Realising that you’re planning on moving to a different floor, Jimin quickly moves closer towards you, still staying far enough for him to remain undetected, while keeping up with you as you navigate the ever-changing staircases. He doesn’t know how long he follows you, but around ten minutes later, you slow down your pace.
A look of surprise flits across Jimin’s face as he looks around. From the looks of it, you’re both on the seventh floor, in the left corridor. Though, he has no idea whyyou’ve come here. This area of Hogwarts is barely used. There are no classrooms in this corridor - it’s essentially a large stretch of hallway. Despite this obvious fact, however, Jimin watches as you walk down the passage, stopping when you get to a large tapestry. Quietly coming up beside you, he looks at the moving depiction in confusion.
Trolls dressed in ballet tutus are illustrated on the large curtain, their green-skinned body fanned out in various positions as they dance about with large clubs held in their giant hands. In the middle of the cluster, is a man, dressed in medieval-esque clothing, two of the trolls hitting him with their weapons intermittently. Suddenly, recognition dawns within him. It’s the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach the trolls ballet. Enraptured by the odd, mobile tapestry, Jimin doesn’t notice you move - not until he watches a large, ornate wooden door manifest itself into the castle’s wall.
Eyes widening, he takes a step back - the sudden appearance of the entrance surprising him. He doesn’t have long to collect himself, however, because without a moment’s hesitation, you’re opening the door and entering it. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, Jimin hastily slips into the room after you - the door shutting behind him with a quiet thud. As soon as he steps inside, however, he pauses - not expecting the sight to greet him.
The room is large, yet completely barren. Marble arches and pillars line the perimeter of the room; plush carpet, the colour of beige, lines the entire floor - and even through the soles of his Dragonhide boots, he can feel how soft it is. There’s only one piece of furniture that sits inside the odd space - a large mirror. With clawed feet, and an ornate frame that has faded into a dull, metallic shade of gold with time, it looks ancient; and wholly mysterious. There’s even a strange inscription in the framework, in a language he can’t quite decipher, but one that seems familiar at the same time.
Nonetheless, Jimin doesn’t have much time to contemplate the peculiarity of it all, because all of a sudden, you’re moving. Drawing his attention once again, he watches you step up to the mirror, looking into the reflective glass intensely. The entire occurrence is strange, because it’s just a mirror, and yet you watch it so curiously, so intensively, that he wonders just what you’re looking at. And then, for a second time that day, he has an epiphany. He knows this mirror. Or well, more specifically he’s read of it.
It’s the Mirror of Erised - the one that shows you what your heart desires the most.
Now even more curious, Jimin’s head tilts to the side as he looks at you, his face a picture of curiosity. Soon, however, it morphs into shock. Because, completely out of the blue, you start stripping.
Tumblr media
Febrile skin flushed with desire, you stare into the Mirror of Erised. The sight that greets you is no surprise to you, at least not anymore. You see, the first time you’d stumbled upon the Room of Requirement, had been this summer, towards the end of your ninth year. Back then, you’d just been a prefect, and on one of your nightly patrols, you’d stumbled across strange noises coming from one of the abandoned classrooms on the seventh floor; and being the principled prefect you were, you’d instantly investigated. The sight that had greeted you, had shocked you to the core.
You had expected lots of things behind the classroom door. Perhaps it was Peeves, causing a ruckus as he usually does. Or perchance Filch doing his own rounds. Or maybe, just maybe, it was two students out past curfew. However, the last thing you’d expected was to see Penelope Graham, the second-year herbology Apprentice, bent over a table as Park Jimin thrust into her from behind. Her uniform had been in a state of dishevelment, her shirt wide open and her bra pulled under to reveal her breasts. The most surprising thing, however, had been the fact that her hands were tied up, and her panties stuffed into her mouth as Jimin harshly moved behind her.
Suffice to say, the entire scene had been such a shock, and way more than you’d expected to find behind the classroom door. More than that, you couldn’t bring yourself to break them up, your own timidness getting the better of you. As a result, you’d quickly turned around and ran away - racing to the opposite end of the seventh floor - only to find yourself in the empty left corridor, right by the large tapestry that depicted Barnabas the Barmy and the trolls. You can still remember your embarrassment, the sight of Jimin roughly fucking Penelope burned into the back of your mind. As you contemplated what you’d stumbled across; pacing back and forth in front of the tapestry, you’d accidentally come across the Room of Requirement.
The randomly-appearing door had surprised you. You’d heard of its existence of course, from your cousin, Sybil Lovegood, but you’d never gone looking for it. Curious about what the room had manifested for you, and needing to recuperate from what you’d just witnessed, you’d entered - just to discover the empty room, and the Mirror of Erised. What you’d spotted in the reflection, your heart’s greatest desire, a few months ago had completely shocked you.
Because depicted in the magic glass, is you - your body naked and bound - as Jimin fucks you, just as roughly as he did Penelope. Or perhaps, even rougher.
Shaken by the discovery, you’d swiftly left the room. Only to return the next day. And the weekend after. And then the week after. However, then you’d broken up for holidays, and in your tenth year so far, you’d been too busy with head duties to return. By all means, you’ve spent many nights laying in bed, with fantasies of Jimin sweeping through your head as you lose yourself in your own pleasure. However, your fantasies could never compare to what the mirror showed. Though, the real deal probably couldn’t compare to this either, but what could you do? You doubt Jimin would actually ever fuck you; that is, if his adversity to flirting with you was any indication.
Tonight is the first night you’ve returned in a while, prompted by Eve’s tarot reading, and eyes darkening with hunger, you watch your reflection’s face twist with lewd pleasure; Jimin’s intense, domineering gaze levelled on you. Molten lust pools between your thighs, your stomach twisting with the desirous heat of hunger as your core trembles. Your gaze trails down the body of your mirror-image, settling on your core, and almost as if he knew, mirror-Jimin lifts your reflection’s leg up - allowing you a better view of her swollen, sodden cunt.
A low whimper resounds through the still room, your voice breaking the quiet. All of a sudden, the heat that sears your body is too much, causing you to grip your wand tighter, and vanish almost all your clothes with a simple spell - purposely leaving your skirt on. Cool air brushes against your heated sex, and a low mewl falls from your lips at the sensation, your thighs spreading a little further. Without wasting a single moment, you slip your hand between the apex of your legs, merely to cry out in pleasure when your fingers brush your throbbing bud.
Knees buckling at the pleasure, you tentatively stroke your clit, your breath turning laboured as ripples of ecstasy course through you. Nonetheless, it’s not enough, and you have no doubt that this position is soon going to get uncomfortable. Thus, without wasting another moment, you carefully drop to your knees before sitting on your ass. Bending your knees, you draw your thighs closer to your body, before spreading them wide open. Able to access your bare folds more freely, one of your hand dips between your legs: a single finger trailing through your dewy slit.
You run the digit through your sex a couple of times, and once the pad of your finger is coated in a thin film of your own wetness, you press it to your clit once again; slicking the bud under your ministrations. In the mirror-reflection, Jimin mumbles something indiscernible into your mirror-self, and you watch as her cheeks tinge with heat, but as usual, does as he says. Her hand winds down towards her spread thighs, only to splay her cunt wide open. Then, in one smooth motion, Jimin spears his cock into her - impaling the entire length into her dripping pussy.
Sucking in a sharp breath, you responsively dip a finger into your own honeyed entrance. The rings of muscle are tight, and firm, but slippery with your arousal, you manage to slip a single digit into yourself. Steadily, you push your finger into you. It’s fairly short, and girthy, and yet, there’s still a pleasurable ache to the intrusion - your inner walls rippling around the digit. You push it in as far as you can before crooking it at the knuckle. Promptly, you feel your body shake - your nail inadvertently dragging against your sweet-spot.
For a moment, your eyes blur at the euphoria, your eyes threatening to shut. Nonetheless, you forcibly keep them open - your gaze focused on the way mirror-Jimin begins surging into your reflection, your entire body bouncing from his rough thrusts. Imitating his actions, you begin plunging your finger into your silken depths - the movement causing the pad of your digit to drag against the erogenous spot inside of you repetitively. With each stroke, you feel the pleasure inside your stomach intensify, morphing from a dull ache into a maddening burn.
Nestled in the shadows, Jimin’s jaw drops at the lewd sight of you. When he’d decided to follow you tonight, this was the last thing he had expected. At first, he’d meant to announce his presence - question just what you’d been staring at. However, before he could say anything, your clothes had suddenly been divested off of your body - flying into the air before folding neatly onto a pile on the floor. Tongue-tied by the action, his jaw had dropped, and he’d been rendered speechless - because really, why would he have expected you to suddenly strip to just your skirt?
Nonetheless, his astonishment set aside, Jimin can’t help but feel his skin heat as he watches you - his cock twitching to life in the confines of his trousers. He still has no idea what it is you’re seeing, but still, the sight of your legs spread wide, and your hands buried between your thighs is incredibly hot. From his position, he can’t see you in full - your skirt partially covering your sex - and with only his imagination to go off of, his mind runs wild. He wonders just what your cunt looks like as you pleasure yourself: does your clit throb? Are you soaked beyond belief - strings of your arousal leaking down your ass? Does that little cunt of yours tremble around your fingers?
Each question has waves of hunger washing through him, and with each thought, hot lust bubbles through his veins. Desperately he wishes to find out the answers - to remove your hand and push your skirt up - only to bury his face between your thighs. He wonders how you look amidst an orgasm, and the type of sounds you make; the type of sounds your cunt makes. Even so, even with his urgent desire overtaking him, he knows he can’t. He enjoys being your friend - a hard title to come by - and this would cross a boundary he’d initially been hesitant to cross; especially since you’d never shown interest in him, or any other boy for that matter. More than that, however, he figures he should leave you to your own privacy - having voyeuristically watched you for long enough.
However, just as he’s about to turn on his heel and exit, a sudden cry of pleasure tears from your throat - louder than any other that has spilled from your mouth. All of a sudden, you jerk, and your free hand darts out behind you: the palm dragging against the ground as you brace your entire body. Your back twists, the motion pushing your chest further into the air - drawing his attention to them - just for it to move to the way your thighs begin trembling. Holy fuck. Were you about to cum? Merlin, he reallyneeds to get out of here.
“J-Jimin,” you suddenly whimper and Jimin stops short - the muscles of his entire body locking. Did you… had you just…?
Breath catching in his throat, Jimin strains his ears; focusing his entire attention on you. It couldn’t be. There was no way you’d just said his name. His mind was obviously playing tricks on him. Swiftly, he dismisses the sound. Until, “Oh… Jimin,” you moan. It’s louder this time, and clearly - so discernible, in fact, that it resonates through Jimin’s ears.
Turbulent eyes roving over you, and once he’s confirmed that it is indeed his name, a smirk curls onto Jimin’s plump lips. His cock strains inside his boxers, the hardened member straining against the tightness of his trousers as it begs to bury itself inside of you. A surprising reaction, considering he’d never seen you in that way before - then again, how was he not supposed to want you, after learning that your heart’s desire, is him. Suddenly, Eve’s voice echoes through his mind, and recognition dawns inside of him. He’s the man from the divination - the one you truly want to submit to; the one you so desperately yearn for. Immediately, the smirk on Jimin’s face twists further, pulling into a large, predatory grin.
Well, who was he to deny you your deepest wish?
Stalking closer towards you, Jimin waves his wand discreetly - ending both the charms that hide him from your view. However, so lost in your own pleasure, your focus concentrated on whatever it is you see in the mirror, you don’t notice him. Closer to you now, your soft mewls and whimpers are louder - the sounds practically music to his ear - and this time, when you call out his name, “Need something, Princess?” he purrs in answer.
Instantaneously, you freeze. Every single one of your muscles locks at the sound, your lust dissipating as dread settles in your stomach. Head snapping up, you finally notice Jimin’s reflection in the mirror, and blinking blankly, you slowly realise it’s the real Jimin. Swiftly, you shut your legs, the movement locking your hands between, as you stare at him wide eyed.
Mortification surging through you, “J-Jimin,” you stammer out.
“Oh, Sweetheart, don’t stop on my account. I was quite enjoying the show.” His eyes flash with mischief, his gaze dropping towards your legs perceptibly, before locking back onto yours.
“I-I can e-explain,” you stammer out.
Jimin simply hums in response. “Oh? I think I have a pretty good grasp of the situation, Kitten,” comes his rumbling voice - the husky warbles reverberating through the air and directly to your core. Inhaling sharply, your eyes widen imperceptibly. Kitten. That’s a new one. More than that, the pet name drips from his lips like viscous honey, laced with a promise of lust-filled sin.
Deliberately, he stalks around you, your eyes following him - as if transfixed - until he’s directly in front of you, just beside the mirror. With your positioning - his broad body towering over you - your face to crotch with him, and quickly, you spot the prominent bulge of his cock. Throat tightening, you swallow thickly - your mouth suddenly dry. Jimin spots your gaze easily, causing him to chuckle.
“Eyes up on me, Kitten,” Jimin purrs, and almost as if you’re trained to obey, you follow his command; albeit, reluctantly.
Forcibly tearing your eyes from his covered manhood, you level your gaze onto him once again. He stands above you, fully clothed; waves of powerful dominance seeping off of his entire demeanour. Meanwhile you’re next to naked - with your hand still buried into your cunt - and as a result, you can’t help the ripples of humiliation that strum through you; your core reflexively clenching. Against your will, a wanton whimper escapes your mouth, your cheeks tinging darker with the heat of embarrassment. From the way Jimin’s eyes twinkle, you know he’s heard you.
“It looks to me like you’ve been playing with that little cunt of yours to thoughts of me, am I right?” he teases, and pulling your bottom lip between your teeth, you tentatively nod. Jimin hums once again, his head cocking to the side as he regards you coolly. Under his intense gaze, you feel completely exposed - his heavy stare roving over your entire body as he scrutinises you.
Then, his eyes landing on your skirt, Jimin lets out a low, taunting coo. “Is that pretty pussy wet, Princess? Does your cunt ache to be filled by my cock?” he asks. The vulgarity of his words doesn’t surprise you, you always had a feeling Jimin had a filthy tongue on him, and reflexively, you nod once again. Under his teasing words, you feel yourself grow wet, your lust-filled desire mingling with the humiliation that flutters through you.
Surreptitiously, your hand begins moving, the digit still buried inside you flexing as you slowly plunge it into you. The movement is imperceptible, and near non-existent, but somehow, Jimin still spots it. With a chuckle, “Is this turning you on, Sweetheart?” he coos. Mouth still dry, it’s all you can do to nod. However, Jimin’s eyes simply narrow into slits, and, “Articulate,” he hisses.
“Y-Yes,” you force out obediently, your finger moving even faster. Jimin coos tenderly, his lips curling into a wry sneer.
“Of course it is, Kitten,” he coos. Then, gesturing his head towards your hand, “But is your hand enough? Wouldn’t you like the real thing? Wouldn’t you rather have my cock?” he asks, a playful lilt to his voice.
You don’t even have to contemplate your answer, because immediately, “Please,” you whimper.
“Please what?” he hisses, and realising he’s going to force you to say it, you inhale a deep, steadying breath.
“J-Jimin,” you stutter out in an attempted protest.
“I want to hear you say it. I want you to beg with that pretty, innocent little mouth of yours,” Jimin purrs, his eyes darkening with dominance as he watches you.
Brushing your humiliation to the side, you take in a deep, steadying breath. “P-Please g-g-give me y-your cock,” you stutter out whilst imploringly staring at him through the thick of your lashes.
Immediately, a roguish grin crawls onto Jimin’s lips, and chest purring in approval, he walks around you - the heels of his expensive Dragonhide shoes clicking against the ground - before he settles behind your body. His long legs splay on either side of you, the limbs bent at the knee: effectively caging you between his figure. The strong muscles of his chest press flat against your naked back, and involuntarily, you shiver - his warmth seeping into your skin.
Hands moving to loosely rest on either of your thighs, the cold metal of his ring making you gasp as it presses against your febrile flesh, “Spread your legs,” he orders. The sound rumbles against your back, and for a moment you hesitate - the tips of your ears burning in humiliation. Nonetheless, you do as he says: tentatively splaying your legs open once again. Jimin watches your reflection in the glass, his eyes dropping to the apex of your spread thighs. Material of your skirt falling between, it obstructs his view of your cunt, causing him to let out a low tremor of disapproval.
Angling his head to the side, he brushes his lips against the outer shell of your ear, before taking the topmost part between his teeth and biting down softly. The sudden action causes you to let out a soft whimper, and you both see, and feel, Jimin’s lips twist into a sardonic smile. Lightly nibbling on the cartilage, his hands indolently trail further up your thighs, causing your eyes to flutter at the sensation. Just when he gets to the soft flesh of the top of your inner thighs, however, Jimin suddenly stops.
“Lift up your skirt, Princess. Show me the way that cunt drips for me,” comes his command. The intonation of his voice is low, a slight rasp underlying it, and reflexively, goosebumps prickle at your skin.
You suck in a sharp breath, and with shaky hands, do as he says. Gripping the hem of your skirt, you hesitantly lift it up - both your eyes glued onto the mirror - where you watch the way you slowly expose your sodden cunt. The moment your bare sex meets his gaze, Jimin lets out a pained groan. Swollen with need, the flesh of your sex is puffy - your clit visibly throbbing as a thick sheen of your wetness coats your skin. Pools of arousal gather around your entrance, the ring of muscles trembling under his heavy gaze, causing thin rivulets of slick to trail down the seam of your ass.
“Oh? You’re fucking drenched. What is it that you see in the mirror, that has you leaking like this? You’re practically creating a puddle,” he chuckles, a dark, taunting inflexion cutting his sweet voice.
A near inaudible whimper falls from your lips, and when you don’t respond, Jimin bites your ear harshly. Soft stings of pain strum through you, and, “Y-You,” you cry out in response, your cunt clenching visibly.
Watching the way the ringed muscles contract, “Oh? Just me?” Jimin chuckles darkly. You shake your head in response.
“N-No… us,” you reply. Fingers flexing, he begins softly massaging your thighs: kneading the supple flesh under his deft digits.
“Tell me.”
“W-What?” you ask, shock evident in your eyes. Tongue flicking out, Jimin licks the outline of your ear, only to brush his lips against the shell.
“Tell me what you see,” he elaborates. Thick waves of hesitation exude off of you at the command. There was no way - absolute none - that you could describe the vulgar scene, born from your deepest fantasies, and depicted in the magical surface.
Sensing your trepidation, Jimin’s face softens, and he buries his face into the side of your head. Lips pursing, he places a tender kiss to your hair. “We can stop if you want, or if it’s too much,” he mumbles; his hands soothingly rubbing your thighs. Your heart flutters at his concern, and you shake your head quickly.
“I-I’ve just… never done something like this,” you begin, your voice coming out as a whisper. Internally, you cringe at the timidness of it. It’s not that you don’t want to fuck Jimin. You do. Desperately. It’s just, you’re not used to it - to having someone see this side of you - and the idea of revealing it to Jimin, the object of most of your lascivious fantasies, is more than just a little daunting.
Awareness crossing his face, Jimin nods, and you watch in despair as his eyes turn tender - a stark contrast from the heavy dominance that had just twinkled within them. “We can go slow… I’ll be gentle,” he offers.
“No!” you instantly object, Jimin’s eyes widening at the sudden protest. Realising how loud you’d been, you quickly curl into yourself and avert your gaze. Throat tight, you swallow thickly; and gathering your courage, “I- I don’t want gentle. I- I want you to be rough. I want you to fuck me,” you confess, A few pauses break your sentences as you force yourself to be honest with him, however, once the words are out, you feel a sense of relief flood through you.
Jimin sucks in a sharp breath, and against the curve of your ass, you feel his hardened cock throb. “Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes searching yours. This time, when you nod, there’s not a semblance of hesitancy.
Bolstered by your sudden courage, “I want you to fuck me as hard as you can. I want you to dominate me, and make me cry,” comes your sudden declaration. The hands on your thighs flex, Jimin gripping the flesh almost painfully.
“Fuck.” He takes a deep breath, and then exhales just as deep. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asks once again.
Unwavering, “Yes.” Then, “Please,” you add - practically begging him now.
“Pick a safe word.”
Surprised by his words, “W-what?” you dumbly ask, causing him to smile at you genially.
“You’re a virgin aren’t you?” he asks; his tone is passive, almost kind, and not mocking at all; yet, you still find yourself growing embarrassed as you nod in response. Pressing another kiss to your head, “Then pick a safe word you can use if things are getting too intense and you need to stop,” he continues.
“Oh. Um… Mallowsweet,” you blurt out after a short deliberation.
The instant the word slips from your mouth, Jimin lets out an amused exhale, and you feel his lips curl in bemusement. “Mallowsweet? Really? The first thing you thought of was a potion ingredient?” he asks, causing you to pout.
“Safe words have to be something you won’t normally say during sex,” you mumble, and once again, Jimin laughs.
“You’ve got me there. Alright, Mallowsweet it is,” he nods. Then, after a short pause, “Don’t hesitate to use it, okay?” he continues. You don’t say anything, simply nodding firmly. Happy with your assurance, “Good girl. Now, tell me what you see,” he praises, only to follow the sentiment with a command.
A ripple of excitement courses through you at the heavy authority that laces his voice once again; his eyes dark with domineering hunger as he practically scrutinises you. Attention returning to the mirror, your breath catches in your throat at the sight that greets you. Your reflection selves have changed positions, now almost perfectly imitating the two of you. Cradled in mirror-Jimin’s embrace, your counterpart has her legs spread wide, and her lips spread even more lewdly - her own digits splaying them apart - as Jimin fucks his thick fingers into her drenched heat.
When you don’t say anything, your attention instead focused on the erotic scene depicted in the magical surface, you suddenly hear a loud slap echo through the air. All of a sudden, a sharp sting of pain flares across your thigh, and you hiss when you feel Jimin spank your flesh.
“I gave you an order, Princess. I expect you to obey,” Jimin spits, his voice hissing against your ear.
“Ah- I’m- I’m spreading my own…” you begin, only for your own mortification to pause.
“Your own?” Jimin prompts, a smirk curling onto his face at your clear embarrassment.
Letting out a whine, “V-vagina,” you choke out with a stammer. Immediately, Jimin brings his hand down onto your thigh, a sharp slap resounding through the air.
A low cry slips through your lips and, “Cunt,” Jimin hisses.
“W-What?”
“Cunt. You’ll call it your cunt, or your pussy. Do you understand?” he responds, causing you to nod your head. “Good girl. Now, continue,” he urges, his hand delicately massaging your thigh as he soothes the flesh he’d spanked.
Cheeks burning, “I-I’m spreading my own c-cunt,” you whisper. A jolt of ravenous hunger sparks through Jimin as he hears the vulgar word slip from your lips and he lets out a low, pained groan. He’d ordered you to say it, and yet, it somehow sounded even sweeter, even more sinful as it drips from your mouth.
“Are you now? Show me how,” comes his next order. Shuddering at his breathy voice, and thick ripples of pleasure coursing through you, you do as he says.
One of your hands uncurls itself from the material of your skirt, the other hiking the fabric higher up your body. Next, using your now free hand, you press two of your trembling fingers on either side of your cunt, before spreading them in a ‘V’ shape. Under the ministration, you both feel, and watch, as your slick folds are pulled apart - revealing even more of your bare sex to Jimin’s gaze. Seeing the way your flesh peels open, Jimin lets out a strained groan.
“Fuck. Look at you. Dirty fucking slut,” he spits, and hearing his words, the walls of your cunt automatically clench. With the way your pussy is bared for Jimin, he easily spots the movement, causing him to chuckle. With another spank on your thigh, “Do you like that, Princess? Do you like the way I call you a slut?” he taunts. Fist curling tighter into the cotton fabric of your skirt, you nod shyly. Jimin’s hand splays further down your thigh before he begins drawing slow, teasing shapes into your flesh.
A shudder runs down your spine at his actions. In their new position, his fingers are impossibly close to your cunt - so close, in fact, that you’re sure he can feel the intense heat radiating from your sex. Deliberately, however, he keeps them away from where you need them most, and under his ministrations, you slowly feel your body temperature rise; the ache in your pussy intensifying tenfold. One finger moves awfully close to the flesh of your nether lips, and each time he draws an indiscernible shape, the bone of his knuckle grazes your clit.
“Do you want me to keep calling you a slut?” he taunts, and eagerly, you nod your head, a wanton whine slipping through your throat. “Then beg,” he hisses.
With a whimper, “P-Please degrade me,” you moan.
“Merlin, you’re such a fucking whore. Who would have thought that the innocent, shy Head Girl was such a desperate, needy little slut?” Jimin questions, and hearing the blatant derision in his voice, your stomach flips with humiliation. Then, pressing his lips to your ear, Jimin moves his hand to purposely graze your cunt. “I’m going to fucking ruin you,” he groans, his eyes swirling with dark lust. Then, he gestures back to the mirror.
Already knowing what he wants, you take in another breath. “Y-You’re f-fingering my p-pussy as I s-spread my c-cunt,” you stutter out, your ears burning at the crude words.
“Like this?” he teasingly asks. Inhaling sharply, your eyes flutter as you feel his middle finger teasingly caress your dewy folds: the pad of the digit tracing down your swollen lips. You nod your head.
“Y-You’ve got t-two fingers in me. T-Thrusting them as you f-fuck my cunt,” you continue. Finger moving further down, Jimin runs the tip of his nail around the quivering, ringed outline of your cunt.
“Fuck. Such a pretty, needy, pussy. See how it trembles for me?” he asks. It’s rhetorical. You know it is, because the next thing he’s doing, is plunging his finger into you.
A high-pitched moan spills from your lips, your back arching as your head falls onto his muscular shoulder. He stops once he’s knuckle deep, and curling his finger, “I’m going to fuck this tight, unused little cunt, Princess,” he continues. The cold metal and cut gemstones of his heirloom ring presses against the sodden, heated flesh of your cunt. The band is incredibly thick, the maddening girth threatening to plunge into you as it presses against your entrance.
Nonetheless, Jimin stops. Instead, he languidly pulls his finger out, before abruptly plunging it back inside. Heavy moans elicited from your throat, your cunt spasms as you feel his ring press against your ringed muscles once again. Thrusting the crooked finger in and out of you, he indolently tests the pliance of your inner walls; relishing in the resistance he feels. “By Morgana, you’re so fucking tight. Such a tiny, little hole…” In a deliberate motion, he pulls his finger out - so slow, that you can feel every ridge of his knuckles as it retreats out of you.
As he holds up his finger, your eyes widen at the sight. The entire length of his digit is coated in a thick sheen of your wetness; filmy strings trickling towards his palm. The glint of his ring catches the low lighting, the shine only highlighted by your arousal. Jimin lets out a baritone chuckle, “So fucking wet too. You drip like such a slut.” His hand moves back down to your cunt, and stroking up the slit, you whimper the pad of his finger brushes your throbbing clit, the wet bud slickening under his ministrations.
“I’m going to make you cum so much that all you can think about is the way my fingers, or tongue, or cock feel inside of you,” he murmurs. The intonation of his voice is heavy, with an intentional husk to it, that has you whining in need. With each word, he tantalisingly circles your engorged bundle of nerves. His touch is feathery, virtually non-existent, and the tormenting motions has your core burning with need; the muscles of your thighs twitching intermittently.
“Mmmm, yes. By the time I’m done with you, you’re going to be a cock-hungry little bitch, begging me to fuck you like the cumslut you are.” All of a sudden, he presses his digit down onto your clit before rolling it in hard, tight circles.
Abruptly, “Ah- Please,” you cry, your thighs beginning to tremble on either side of Jimin’s. Between his filthy words, his purposeful taunting ministrations, and your own, previous ministrations, you swiftly feel the telltale fog of euphoria cloud your mind.
Jimin dips his head into the crook of your neck, and watching your body through the glass of the mirror, he stares darkly at your figure. You’re completely wired: eyes-half lidded and clouded with lust while your mouth is parted - breathless shallow gasps slipping from your throat. With each stroke of his finger against your clit, he watches your entrance responsively clench - forcing thick streams of your essence out of your honeyed hole and down your ass.
“Are you close, Kitten? Are you going to cum from just having me tease this needy clit?” he taunts, his breath fanning across the flesh of your neck. Throat tight with desire, it’s all you can do to nod your head. Pleasure burns in your abdomen, your skin flushing with heat. Still, Jimin continues his ministrations - pulling you closer and closer towards the brink of your orgasm. “Fuck, yeah you are. Merlin, you’re so sensitive... Tell me something Princess, no one’s played with you like this, have they?” he asks.
Pulling your lip between your teeth, you shake your head once again - too tongue-tied by pleasure to speak. Plump lips wrap around your flesh, and flicking out his tongue, Jimin begins peppering hot, open-mouths kisses along the column of your throat. Teeth grazing against your sensitive skin, “No. They haven’t. I’m the first to see you like this, aren’t I? The first to touch this pretty cunt, and watch you drip for me,” he murmurs. The reverberations of his voice thrum along your throat, causing you to buck into his hand.
“I’m the first person who’s going to make you cum, Princess,” he whispers. Then, without a warning, he takes your clit between the knuckle of his forefinger and his thumb, and twisting, he pinches the bud. Simultaneously, Jimin sucks your flesh into his mouth, before biting down harshly. The abrupt pain has you crying out, your thighs shaking harder as you feel yourself teeter over the precipice of your climax. Before it can come, however, “But not yet,” Jimin growls before pulling away.
“N-No,” you cry out, tears misting your eyes as you feel your impending orgasm begin to fade. Thoughtlessly, you pull your hand away from where it’s spreading your cunt, and instead, you grab Jimin’s wrist; attempting to pull it back.
Swiftly, Jimin brings his hand down onto your cunt - harshly. A sharp, wet, smack resounds through the air as his fingers impact your swollen flesh. Under the ministration, you feel your clit smart: ripples of pain and pleasure thrumming along your nerves and setting your veins afire. Biting down on your flesh once again, “You’ll cum when I want you to cum, slut. Until then, be patient,” he hisses. A whimper slips from your throat, and you nod before letting go of his hand. Purring in approval at your obedience, Jimin’s tongue roves over your throat, soothing the tender flesh he’d harshly bitten down on.
“Spread your cunt for me again, Princess,” he orders, causing your fingers to fall back to your lips as you pull them apart. Jimin rewards your actions with soft kisses, his plush lips teasing the flesh of your throat. Lightly, he begins suckling and nipping: the skin blooming with bruises under his ministrations.
As he litters your throat with his marks, he retrieves his wand from beside him, and holding the long piece of elm he drags the tip through your slit. You gasp in surprise, your eyes widening as you watch him tease your folds with his wand. Against your throat, Jimin whispers a spell, the words inaudible. Out of the blue, however, his wand comes to life - the entire length vibrating as the point presses to your clit.
“J-Jimin,” you howl, your legs snapping shut as you feel the intense reverberations of his wand against your aching bud.
Immediately, Jimin increases the vibrations, and, “Keep your legs open, slut,” he orders. Sucking in a sharp breath, you forcibly part your thighs again, even as they tremble violently from the mind-numbing pleasure that wracks through your body from his wand. “Good girl,” he praises, his wand indolently circling the outline of your clit.
“J-Jimin- P-please,” you choke out, the muscles of your throat straining to spew out the words. Delirious with overwhelming ecstasy, your eyelids flutter with every motion, causing Jimin to chuckle.
“Do you want to cum, Sweetheart?” he asks, his voice dark, and taunting. Hastily, you nod your head. With how intensely his wand vibrates - the pleasure concentrated onto your clit, where the tip of the wood incessantly presses against the bud - you can feel your stomach twist and knot with each second that passes.
“Yes,” you gasp out. At the same time, your hips start rocking as you grind your clit into his wand - relishing in the powerful reverberations of the vibrating charm that strums through your clit. Again, the telltale sear of euphoria burns through your bloodstream.
Wanton hunger skims through you, and feeling how close you are to your orgasm, you begin wildly thrusting your hips. In the reflection of the glass, Jimin simply watches with a smirk as you ride his wand. With each roll of your hips, your clit drags against the vibrating wood - your cunt rippling over and over as you chase your high. A smirk crawling on his hips, Jimin mumbles something indiscernible, and you cry out when the vibrations increase tenfold. Screwing your eyes shut, you cry out in pleasure. However, for a second time that day, just as you’re about to sink into the mind-numbing ecstasy of your orgasm, Jimin is pulling away.
“NO! P-Please no. N-No, please. Please,” you cry - the words spilling from your words over and over again. With your orgasm cruelly ripped away from you for a second time, you can barely think. Behind you, Jimin lifts his head up, and presses a soft, soothing kiss against your head, and feeling the tender action, you whimper. Through the mirror, you look at him with teary, pleading eyes, and “P-Please,” you sob. Jimin simply lets out a sardonic smirk.
“If you want to cum, keep telling me what you see,” he coos, his eyes flashing with barely concealed dominance.
Eyes blurred with pleasure, and so caught up in the ecstasy Jimin reaps upon your body, you’d completely forgotten about the mirror. Blinking the tears from your eyes, you focus your attention onto the magical glass once again, only for a wanton moan to fall from your lips at the sight. Your reflections have swapped positions now - your body riding Jimin reverse-cowgirl. Even in the mirror, your legs are spread wide - giving you a lewd view of the way Jimin’s thick girth spears your tiny cunt wide open.
“Y-You’ve got me on your lap… my legs spread a-as you fuck me,” you begin once again. Jimin hums underneath you, his lips once again peppering hot, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat.
He rewards your compliance by pressing his wand to your clit once more, before he runs it down your dripping slit, and towards your cunt. Feeling the thin wood trace the ringed muscles of your honeyed hole, you clench involuntarily - the action threatening to swallow the tip of his wand. Jimin spots the motion, and laughing lowly, he begins pressing it against your cunt. With how wet you are, you easily take the slim piece of wood into you, your eyes rolling at the thin intrusion. Unlike Jimin’s, or your own, fingers, the wood is unrelentingly hard, and you feel it slowly open up the soft flesh of your inner walls.
As he continues pushing the length into you, soft pangs of pain flutter through your velvet depths - the untouched walls slowly widening. Still, the pain is next to non-existent, and with the vibrating charm accompanying the invasion, even that subtle ache is drowned out by pleasure. Once half the wand is inside you, Jimin stops, and instead, he begins fucking you with the wood.
“Like this?” he asks. You pull your lower lip between your teeth, and biting down hard, you nod in response. “How am I fucking you?”
Automatically, “H-Hard. You’re f-fucking m-me hard,” you respond.
Jimin’s free arm moves to wrap around your body, and your breath hitches when you see him inch his left hands towards your cunt. He moves deliberately, your eyes dilating with desire as you watch it in the reflection of the mirror. Even with your gaze trained on the appendage however, you’re not ready for the way his fingers feel as they stroke your clit. The moment you feel the calloused pads of his fingers caress your throbbing bud, you let out a keening mew - your thighs trembling on either side of his legs.
Simultaneously, Jimin picks up the pace; fucking his wand into you even faster as he begins toying with your swollen clit. A shudder of pleasure races down your spine at the foreign pleasure. Despite his wand being slim, your untouched inner depths are unaccustomed to the intrusion, and as such, intense waves of ecstasy flourish through your body. Hot, voluptuous lips trail down the arc of your throat, and getting to the flesh of your shoulder, he bites down - hard enough to indent the shape of his teeth into your skin - and causing you to gasp.
“Be explicit. Tell me what you see,” comes his next order.
“Y-Your thick co-cock is spreading my c-cunt as you fuck me h-hard. I-I can see the way you c-cock opens my pussy,” you describe. Jimin lets out a strangled groan under you.
“Is that right?” he grunts. “Does my cock look good in your cunt, Princess?” Jimin begins taunting. “Do you like the way that pretty little virgin pussy stretches around my fat cock?” His warm breath fans over your naked shoulder, Jimin suckling his marks into your flesh between his sinful words. “Are you imagining how it would feel? How I’d fill you up - stretch you out - and carve the shape of my cock into you? So that you know who that precious cunt belongs to?” The intonation of his voice is incredibly deep, and turbulent with salacious desire. It tremors through the air, cutting the sounds of your wet cunt and erotic moans.
“F-Fuck,” you whimper at his words, your cunt involuntarily quivering around his wand; sucking it even deeper.
Feeling the movement, his wand slipping further from his grip, “Oh? You like that don’t you? Of course you do. Filthy little cockslut. Look at the way you swallow my wand. The way you drip and coat it in your cunt juices. You’re practically gagging for it. Begging me to defile this tight, sweet cunt,” he taunts. His words elicit a high-pitched, breathless whimper from your throat, and eagerly, you nod your head.
“Please fuck my cunt,” you beg, your eyes wide and imploring as you stare at him through the reflection. For a moment, Jimin stills. Your words are unprompted, and as such, completely unexpected. Yet, hearing the words drip from your mouth, laced with wanton ardor, has his entire body thrumming with exhilteration.
“Fuck. You’re a sin. My sin,” he groans in response. Then, he mumbles something unintelligible. You barely have time to comprehend what he says, because out of the blue, you feel your inner walls begin to stretch. Crying out at the sudden change, your eyes widen as you feel the girth of Jimin’s slender wand get thicker. The girth sluggishly increases, yet, with each second that passes, you feel your smarting walls stretch around the unyielding invasion.
Jimin doesn’t say anything. Rather, he begins fucking his wand into you ever quicker, simultaneously increasing the pace of his fingers against your clit. Pleasure and pain intermingle together, your eyes rolling back as your thighs begin to tremble. The sensations Jimin lavishes on your body are far too much to comprehend, and swiftly, you find yourself drowning in the fog of euphoria. Stomach twisting with the knot of your incoming orgasm, your breath turns laboured as you begin fucking back onto Jimin’s wand.
With each plunge of his wand into you, you feel your walls pull apart just a little more, and the vibrations of the wood only has your veins searing with desire. Soon, the wand swells past the size of what feels like two fingers, and you cry out when the burn of the stretch begins rippling through your inner walls. The pleasure is too much to handle, but you never want it to end. In fact, you wish it’d last forever: the sensations wholly addicting. In spite of that, however, “M-Mallowsweet,” you whimper.
Immediately, Jimin stills, and halting the spell, he slowly pulls his soaked wand out of you. Sitting up straight behind you, the hand playing with your clit moves, and he wraps his arm around your waist in comfort. He looks at you in concern - worry painted across his delicate features. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” he swiftly asks, his gaze roving over your body. A surge of timidness floods through you, and biting your lip, you simply shake your head.
“I-I’m okay. I-I just,” you begin stammering, only to stop when you feel your embarrassment amplify tenfold. Jimin’s strong eyes knit together, and pressing his lips to your head, he presses an encouraging kiss to your flesh. Taking a deep breath, you gather all your courage, and, “I want your cock to be the first thing that stretches me out,” you whisper. At the sound of your steady voice, you internally cheer. At least you’d managed to get the words out without being a stuttering mess this time.
Sharply, Jimin sucks in a breath. Then, “Fuck,” comes his strained grunt.
In an abrupt flash, he moves. Grasping his wand, he plunges the wand into you once again. The sudden intrusion has your spine contorting, your head digging into Jimin’s shoulder as you cry out in pleasure. Expertly, Jimin angles the wooden rod inside of you and begins thrusting it in and out of your core with rough movements. At the same time, he mumbles under his breath, and your thighs shake as you feel the girth increase twofold as the wand begins vibrating inside of you once more.
“Ah- Jimin,” you cry, your eyes screwing shut as pleasure blinds your senses.
The hand around your waist pushes back between your thighs before he slaps your pussy once again. With the angle of his hand, the impact is concentrated on your clit, and feeling the sharp sting, a wail of ecstasy tears from your throat. Vehemently, Jimin begins spanking your cunt - focusing the slaps directly onto your hardened bundle of nerves. His punishing motions are only intensified by the way your fingers faithfully splay apart your folds: exposing the entirety of your throbbing bud to his actions.
“F-Fuck- Jimin,” you cry, tears beginning to mist at your eyes from the overwhelming mix of pain and pleasure that courses through you.
Pressing his lips to the shell of your ear, “Desperate little slut. You’re such a fucking cocktease. Do you have any idea what you do to me? Hmm, Kitten? Do you know how hot it is when you practically beg me to ruin that tiny cunt of yours? Hmmm?” Jimin growls out. You whimper at his voice. The usual sweet intonation is long gone. Rather, it’s filled with a mix of pure, carnalistic need, and dark dominance. Each sentence that spills from his lips is emphasised by a harsh thrust, and when you feel the tip of the vibrating wand drag against the sweet spot inside you, you cry out.
“Ah- Fuck- Jimin, please,” you sob. Between Jimin’s harsh spanks on your clit, and the vehement way he plunges his wand into you, you find your orgasm quickly building up. Heat prickles at your spine, your skin pricking with goosebumps as the white-hot pokers of euphoria sting at your flesh.
“Look at me,” Jimin hisses, and through the fog of deliriousness that clouds your mind, you hear the command. Opening your eyes, and briefly wondering when they’d shut, you come face to face with your reflection: Jimin’s intense gaze capturing your own. The sight that greets your eyes has you whimpering.
Your pussy is swollen, and so sodden that you can see thick strings of your arousal cling to the side of Jimin’s palm: the hilt of his hand grazing your cunt with each piston of his wand into your welcoming depths. Wetness leaks out of you in droves, and you don’t know how you haven’t noticed it, but you’re sitting in a puddle of your own wetness - the juices of your entrance soaking into the fabric of the back of your skirt. The lewd sight of your body has your breath turning shallow, and inhaling quick, sharp breaths, you feel your thighs begin to shake.
Spotting the telltale signs of your approaching climax, “Are you going to cum?” Jimin asks, and you swiftly nod your head. “Beg me,” he grits out.
Instantly, your mouth parts, however, your mouth is suddenly dry, and so lost in your incoming orgasm, you can barely find it in yourself to string together a coherent set of words. Still, you force out a few words; though, they come out garbled and incoherent. Lips curling into a sneer, Jimin snarls at you, and immediately rips his wand out of you. The sudden emptiness has you shaking your head, a loud howl of displeasure ripping from your throat. Wildly, your hips thrash, and you attempt to follow his wand as you feel your orgasm begin to subside.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Jimin brings down his hand onto your cunt - hard - and feeling the intense spank, your entire body jerks. “If you want to cum, you’re going to have to beg,” Jimin spits out.
Screwing your eyes shut, the tears finally begin falling down your eyes and you let out a dry sob. “W-Wanna cum. P-Please, J-Jimin, wanna cum. Please. Please. Please,” you wail.
With another spank to your clit, “Good girl,” Jimin praises. Then, he plunges his wand back into you.
The gesture is abrupt, and completely unexpected, and instantly, you’re forced over the edge of your own orgasm - the knot in your stomach suddenly unravelling. Shallow sobs ripping from the midst of your throat, the back of your head digs into Jimin’s shoulder almost painfully, and your body arcs as you begin cumming. Thighs quaking on either side of Jimin’s, your cunt clenches painfully around the wood inside of you, as blinding euphoria ricochets through your body.
With how much Jimin has already edged you, the force of your orgasm is threefold, incredibly overwhelming; and like nothing you’d ever experienced before. Toes curling with pleasure, you howl out his name, the sound coming out inarticulate, and close to inhuman. Waves of rapturous ecstasy surge through your body, your blood boiling with searing heat as your orgasm overtakes you. Momentarily, you feel yourself drift from reality - floating through the thick haze of elation - as you relish in the intoxicating sensation that floods through you.
Nevertheless, almost abruptly, you’re crashing down to reality. A dull, stinging ache shoots through your sensitive walls, the pain of overstimulation overtaking your mind-altering pleasure. Even with your entire body trembling from the force of your orgasm, Jimin continues plunging the vibrating length into you; though, his hand has moved from spanking your clit to rolling it in tight, vicious circles.
Hands jerking, you unclench your fist from your skirt, the other moving from your splayed cunt, and instead, you grip at his thick thighs. “H-Hurts- T-Too much,” you weep, the tears flowing freely as you blubber out a slew of strained moans.
Still, Jimin pays no mind to your cries, and instead, “Again. Cum for me again,” he urges. Twisting his wand inside of you, he shifts the angle to the tip of it, and presses it flush against the soft bundle of tissues that make up your sweet spot, before increasing the vibration to the highest setting.
A strangled howl tears through your lips: the intense reverberations against your g-spot causing you to careen straight off of the precipice of your climax. Second orgasm rolling in directly after the first one, your body violently quakes over him, and you wail out Jimin’s name - the muscles of your throat straining at the sound. This time, your cunt clamps vigorously - almost painfully - and you sob at the fervent heat of euphoria that consumes your entire being. The power of your contracting walls abruptly forces Jimin’s wand out of you, his eyes widening as you practically shoot out the long piece of wood.
“Fucking hell,” Jimin breathes out - his attention glued onto your cunt.
Gush after gush of wetness erupts out of your cunt; the jets of your cum pelting against the glass and dousing it in your essence. Jimin watches you squirt with wide eyes, the action completely unexpected. It only takes him a few moments to recover, however, and rapidly, he presses his fingers to your clit: strumming the viciously pulsating bud in quick, back and forth movements. His ministrations have your orgasm drawing out even further, and thick tears roll down your cheeks at the overpowering sensations that flood through you.
Brazenly, Jimin’s eyes stick to your swollen pussy, watching the way your drenched entrance contracts around nothing as you leak all over yourself, the mirror and the ground. Everything is drenched in your cum, from your own thighs, to parts of his trousers, all the way towards the mirror: rivers of your essence trailing down the magical glass and onto the floor. The heady scent of sex is heavy in the air, and taking a deep breath, Jimin’s chest purrs at the intoxicating smell of your cum.
Body erratically quivering from the aftershocks of your orgasm, your cunt continuously clamps around nothing - and with Jimin’s wand no longer pistoning into you - the sudden emptiness is only exaggerated by the involuntary movement of your walls. Coming down from your high, the ache between your thighs grows to be too much for you, and, “C-Cock- I n-need your c-cock. F-Fuck me. Please, fuck me,” you stammer out, the words coming out slurred; your tongue loose from your orgasms.
For a moment, Jimin falters, and looking at your fucked out form in the reflection, “Are you sure-” he begins.
Hearing the trepidation in his voice, you focus your glassy gaze onto him through the mirror, and, “Ruin me,” you breathe out. Despite the breathlessness in your voice, there’s not a single shred of hesitance in your eyes. Just ravenous hunger.
The corner of Jimin’s jaw flexes as he grits his teeth. Promptly, his apprehension ebbs - giving way to unbridled dominance as his gaze turns dark with lust. A low growl resonates through the air, “As you wish.”
In one smooth motion, Jimin’s hands move to your hips, and then easily, using all his strength, he lifts you and throws you up against the mirror. Eyes widening, you yelp at the sudden movement, your knees scraping against the smooth floor while your clammy hands press against the cold glass. You don’t get a moment to process the change. Without a moment’s hesitation, Jimin’s hands are curling between the soft flesh of your thighs, and forcing them apart, he spreads your legs further. The roughness of his actions cause you to groan, and willingly, you splay your knees further; pushing your ass out towards him.
Jimin’s chest tremors in approval at your gesture, and roughly pushing your skirt up your ass, he spanks the plump flesh. “Good little slut,” he praises. The sudden, acute impact on your lower cheeks has you squealing, the sound morphing into a garbled groan of pleasure. Emboldened by your reaction, and the way your ass ripples under the ministration, Jimin repeats his action.
A harsh slapping sound echoes through the air, pain flaring along your ass cheeks, and responsively, your head drops onto the mirror. The glass is cold, and refreshing against your sweat-soaked forehead. Jimin barely pays you any mind, and instead, he spanks you once more - as hard as he can. This time, you howl in ecstatic pain. Between the thick band of his ring, and his bulging biceps, this particular spank strikes your ass in the most enticing way possible. Cunt clamping down around nothing, you let out a low whimper at the incessant ache in your core, your breath fogging against the mirrored surface.
“J-Jimin- fuck me, please,” you beg.
One last time, Jimin brings his hand onto the plump cheek, before gripping the fleshy globes with both hands and pulling them apart. Under his action, you find your cheeks tinging with heat with mortification: Jimin exposing the entirety of your cunt and asshole towards his gaze. Seeing the way the puckered rim twitches, Jimin groans, and keeping one of your ass cheeks parted, he moves the other hand to brush your tight entrance.
A single finger indolently traces the ringed muscles of your ass, and you let out a breathy whine, your muscles locking at the sensation. “Such a pretty little asshole,” Jimin casually mutters. With how turned on you are, not to mention cumming so hard you’d squirted, the back entrance is completely slicked with your own juices. Grazing the blunt tip of his finger against your asshole, Jimin begins tracing teasing circles around the rim. “I bet it’s nice and tight in there. I bet you’d look so fucking hot struggling to fit my cock in that tiny little hole,” he mumbles. His voice is breathier, and filled with hunger, and you can’t help but whimper at the sound.
Suddenly, Jimin presses his finger against the rim of your ass, and your eyes widen as you feel the pressure: his finger threatening to enter your virgin ass. Nonetheless, before the digit can dip inside, he’s pulling away. “But that’s for another day,” he murmurs. “Right now, the only hole I’m interested in, is this one.” Abruptly, he forces two fingers into your cunt.
“AH-” you gasp, your eyes fluttering when he begins thrusting his thick digits in and out of your sodden entrance. Instinctively, your hips begin writhing, and pushing them back in slow movements, you fuck yourself onto his fingers: in a bid to take them deeper into you.
The silken walls of your cunt ripple around his fingers, and with each surreptitious contraction, your velvet cavern threatens to swallow his fingers further. “Such a needy cunt,” Jimin hums, his lips ghosting over the length of your shoulder as he presses chaste kisses to your skin. Parting his fingers in a ‘V’ shape, Jimin groans when he feels the tight resistance of your walls, “And so tight too.”
Driven near insane by the filth he spews, and the way he plunges his thick digits into your pussy, a soft mew slips from your lips. Nonetheless, it’s not enough. “D-Don’t t-tease m-me. W-Want your c-cock,” you beg with a stammer; your voice coming out higher pitched, and more desperate, than you’d intended.
“Insatiable whore,” he purrs, and despite the clear derision to his words, his tone is sweet. Almost affectionate. Still, Jimin pulls his fingers out of you, and instead, his hands move back to your ass. Cupping the cheeks, he pushes the plump flesh up and outwards, bearing the entirety of your dripping cunt to his gaze once more. He mumbles another spell under his breath, and to your utter surprise, a loud tearing sound fills the air.
You watch in shock as your skirt falls to tatters on the floor below you, but before you can say anything, Jimin is pressing his naked hardness flush against your bare sex. A shallow gasp slips through your lips, only for it to morph into a low groan when he begins grinding the velvet shaft into you. Hands still pressed flat against the mirror, you watch Jimin through the reflection. He’s still fully dressed in his uniform. The top few buttons of his white oxford are unfastened: exposing the defined peaks of his collarbone, and a few inches of his chest.
Meanwhile, his leather belt is undone, the two long pieces hanging on either side. Similarly, the button of his trousers and his zipper are open, his thick cock standing proudly through the opening. Attention dropping to the throbbing member, your eyes dilate with lust. He’s thick - incredibly thick. So thick, in fact, that a tremor of fear flutters through you, because there’s no possible way it’s going to fit inside of you. And yet, mixed with the fear is overwhelming anticipation, because you can’t help but want to feel his cock stretch you out. Even in the most painfully pleasurable way.
Jimin grips the base of his shaft with one hand, and angling it towards your entrance, he smacks the head against it. A loud, wet smack resonates through the air, and feeling the heavy weight of his cockhead against your wet cunt, you whine in need. Flexing his hips, Jimin slips his cock between your thighs before he begins thrusting it against your folds. Your slick lips spread on either side of his thick girth, and with each thrust, the prominent seam of his cockhead drags against your hardened clit.
Losing yourself in the pleasure, you let out a slew of breathless groans - your breath condensing on the glass - as you undulate your hips back onto him. Chest purring, Jimin lowers his head and presses an open-mouthed kiss onto the flesh just below the nape of your neck. At the same time, one of his hands grip your ass tighter, the other still holding onto his cock; and staring at you through the reflection, “That’s a good slut. Wet my cock with your cum,” he urges. Your body shudders at the sound.
Even as he kneels behind you, almost eye-level with your own gaze, he’s somehow still incredibly imposing. Noticing your gaze on him, Jimin smirks predatorily: his teeth peeking through the seam of his lips. Dark eyes, tumultuous with desire, lock onto your own, and while holding your stare, Jimin drags his cock through your folds in one long stroke, before pressing the head at your fluttering entrance. As the crown of his bulbuous cockhead pushes against your ringed entrance, you both moan.
Turning his attention down to your drenched folds, Jimin hisses when he spots the way your honeyed hole ripples. “Such a small, wet, little cunt,” Jimin groans. Then, gripping his cock tighter, he circles the head around your entrance, “Merlin, look at how tiny your cunt is compared to my cock. I don’t think it’s going to fit,” he chuckles.
Despite the clear taunt to his voice, you shake your head. “It’ll fit,” you whine, your hips thrusting back to take him into you.
Humming, “Hmmm, are you sure, Kitten?” he asks, and furiously you nod your head.
“I can take it. I can. Please. Please fuck me open. Please,” comes your soughed pleas, your eyes swirling with unbridled hunger. Behind you, Jimin exhales deeply at the clear neediness to your voice.
Jaw flexing, “Then take it,” he hisses through gritted teeth. That’s all he says, because the next thing you know, he’s pressing the crown of his cock against your cunt. A dull pressure builds up against your entrance, and your eyes widen at the sensation, a stifled whimper slipping through your lips.
You’re soaked, your entrance positively dripping, and as such, he should easily slip into you. In spite of that, however, he struggles to enter you: his absurd girth causing the taut muscles of your pussy to protest the stretch. For a moment your eyes flutter shut, causing Jimin to release your ass, only to spank it instead. “Look at me. I want you to watch as I fuck this tight, unused little cunt open for the first time,” he hisses.
Whimpering, your eyes snap open, your attention catching his. And it’s at that exact moment, that Jimin thrusts harshly. The force of his movement causes the mushroom-tip of his cockhead to squeeze into you with a sudden pop. Spine twisting, your back arches as a dry sob tears from your throat. Your eyes mist with tears once more, pleasure and pain surging through your body.
“J-Jimin,” you whine with a wince. A searing ache burns ripples through your tight cunt, the ringed muscles smarting as they strain around Jimin’s dense shaft. But, it’s not all pain. No, even through the agonising burn, there are intoxicating undercurrents of pleasure - the ecstasy cutting your discomfort.
Hands moving to rest on your hips, Jimin skims them over the swell before rubbing soothing circles into your soft curves. Arcing his neck down, he buries his face into your neck and presses a soft kiss to the column. “Shhh, Princess. You can take it, can’t you?” he cajoles. Regardless of his soothing gestures, however, Jimin continues pushing his unrelenting hardness into you.
Nodding your head, you force the entrance of your cunt to relax further, and feeling the muscles ease slightly, Jimin presses the rest of his cockhead into you - right up to where it meets the shaft. Once sufficiently inside of you, Jimin’s fingers flex, and digging the pads into the flesh of your hips, he begins pulling you onto his cock. Inch by heavy, agonising inch, his unyielding hardness spears into you. Gradually, the thick girth of his cock stretches out your walls: pulling your virgin passage apart around his heavy intrusion.
When he’s around half way into you, you let out a strangled cry, “F-Fuck, y-you’re h-huge,” you whimper. Jimin chuckles wrly.
“Are you sure you can take it, Sweetheart? Hmmm? Can your sweet, little, virgin pussy take my fat cock?” he taunts, slipping another two inches into you.
Nails scraping against the smooth glass, you drag your hands down the surface and hastily nod your head. “I-I c-can,” you respond.
Plump lips pressing to the roots of your scalp, “That’s my good girl,” he praises with a kiss. His warm breath fans across your scalp, and you shiver involuntarily.
Without a warning, his hips flex, and Jimin roughly thrusts the final few inches of his cock into you, the length bottoming out to the hilt. The sudden movement has you howling, your head falling onto the mirror once again. Against your will, your cunt ripples around his cock, your inner muscles contracting and clenching around his unrelenting shaft as it tries to force out the thick intrusion. Nonetheless, with Jimin’s hips pressing firmly against your ass, the clamping only massages his cock. Cock completely buried inside you now, his balls pressing flush against your wet sex, Jimin halts.
In the reflection of the mirror, Jimin watches as your face contorts in a mix of pain and pleasure. Your eyes are hooded: the lids fluttering with every passing impalement of his cock; and your mouth is parted: your breathing laboured as you struggle to take his cock. Regarding you with his dark, lust-filled eyes, he trails his gaze down your body - stopping briefly at your throat and shoulders - where he admires the love bites he’s littered onto your skin. Trailing his attention further down, he passes by your heaving chest: your breasts rising and falling with the movement, and your stomach, before stopping at the apex of your thighs.
In your current position, he can’t see the way his girth pulls apart your walls. What he can see, however, is the way your thighs tremble: the inner flesh covered in a thin sheen of your own arousal; and the way your nether lips drip with your wetness: filmy strings of your essence dangling in the air, some clinging to the skin of your thighs. Involuntarily, his cock twitches at the sight, and feeling the movement inside of you, you whimper out.
You have no idea how long you both stay like that - Jimin’s hands tenderly massaging your hips as he impales you on his cock. In fact, it feels like forever: time passing by slowly as you swim in the pain of his cock splaying your innermost depths. Gradually, however, the ache begins to ebb, and before you know it, you're left with just the delicious feel of Jimin’s immense girth splitting your cunt open. Perking up, you lift your head off of the glass, and taking a shuddering breath, you experimentally clench around his cock.
At the voluntary movement, Jimin’s shaft is emphasised inside of you, and you could swear that he hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he’d fuck the shape of his cock into you. Twin sounds of pleasure cut through the air: your low moan intertwining with Jimin’s strangled groan. Dropping his head down to your shoulder, Jimin bites down onto your flesh, and feeling the pain of his teeth sinking into your skin, you cry out in pleasure.
“Don’t do that unless you’re ready for me to fuck you,” Jimin warns. Deep inflexion of his voice resonating through your ear, you exhale deeply and repeat the motion. Except this time, you clench even harder.
“Fuck me,” you implore.
Mouth twisting into a derisive, lop-sided grin, “Hold on there, Kitten,” he purrs. That’s the only warning you get.
In one smooth motion, Jimin is retreating his cock out of you, until only the head is nestled inside of your cunt; only to thrust back in quickly. With one, swooping surge, he bottoms out of you, and the force of the movement has your entire body jerking. Grounding his knees onto the floor, Jimin uses the leverage to begin fucking you roughly. Hands braced up against the mirror, you attempt to find some form of purchase as your entire body jerks from his rough thrusts. However, with how smooth the glass is, you find none. Rather, your clammy palms slowly slide down the surface.
Sobs of pain and pleasure wrack your body with each drive of his hips, your toes curling as pleasure burns through your veins. Each plunge of his cock into your silken depths has you feeling every inch, every ridge of his cock. His immense girth pulls apart your walls deliciously, filling you up to your absolute limits. As the velvet shaft drags across your inner walls with each plunge, you feel him stimulate nerves you didn’t even know existed - the motions setting your entire body afire.
Jimin grips your hips tighter, and somehow, you feel his pace increase as he begins practically jackhammering into you. Your body jerks from the force of his thrusts, and consequently, you bounce harder onto his cock. Spreading your knees to brace yourself a little more, Jimin seizes the opportunity, and he angles his hips before he ruts into you even harder. The motion forces his cock to enter deeper into you, and you wail as you feel the blunt tip of his cockhead kiss the soft walls of your cervix with each thrust. Nonetheless, he pays you no mind, and instead, begins pulling your hips - forcing you to fuck back onto his cock.
His rough actions draw out feverish groans and slurred moans from your lips. The change in angle means that with each plunge of his cock, the head of his cock drags against the sweet-spot inside you, before it batters the back of your cunt. Soon, a dull ache begins settling deep within your stomach, and with each vehement pump of his cock, the discomfort slowly intensifies. “A-Ah, J-Jimin. T-Too d-deep,” you croak out with a stammer.
Dipping his head down, Jimin drags his lips against the shell of your ear. He takes the tip of it within his mouth, and biting down hard, “Isn’t this what you wanted, Sweetheart? Didn’t you want me to ruin your cunt?” he growls out. Then, with one deep thrust, he forces as much of his cock into you, before suddenly coming to a halt. “But if you want, I can stop.” The low tremor of his voice has your cunt clenching.
“N-No. Please d-don’t stop,” you whine, a mix of neediness and displeasure lacing your voice. Delirious with lust, you buck your hips onto his cock, and Jimin swiftly spanks your ass.
“That’s what I thought,” he hisses.
Out of the blue, one of Jimin’s hands moves from your hips, and instead, he hooks the arm under your knee. Hiking your leg up, he exposes your entrance to the both of you, and in the new position, nothing is left to your imagination.
The entirety of your sex is swollen with need, your clit visibly throbbing as it begs for attention. Slick with arousal, your entire cunt glistens in the low lighting of the room, and with how wet you are, thin rivulets of your arousal drip down your folds and onto Jimin’s balls. Dropping your gaze a little lower, you whimper at the sight. Your cunt is completely stretched, the ringed muscles pulled thin as they struggle to accommodate Jimin’s thick length. Like the rest of your pussy, your honeyed entrance is equally swollen; undoubtedly from Jimin’s brutal thrusts.
“Fuck. Look at you.” Jimin’s voice suddenly cuts the silence of the room. “See the way that unused little cunt has stretched? Mmmm. So fucking hot,” he hums.
Pulling out his cock, the both of you watch as your cunt grips his length, the ringed muscles being pulled with the movement. Once he’s only got his cockhead buried inside of you, Jimin thrusts in roughly once again. The sudden intrusion has you crying out in pleasure. “Fuck. How are you still so tight, Princess?” he grunts, his voice coming out strained. “Merlin, I’m not going to last long,” he mumbles, more to himself than anything.
“P-Please cum in m-me,” you whimper in response.
Jimin takes in a deep, steadying breath and then eyes flashing mischievously, “Oh, don’t worry, Princess. I’m going to ruin this cunt for anyone else. I’m going to fuck you so good that the only cock you want, the only cock you crave is mine. And then, I’m going to cum deep inside you, and dirty up your desperate - wet - pussy even more. So that you know, it’s all mine,” he growls.
“Now watch me fuck this sweet little hole open,” he orders. The next one of Jimin’s thrust causes your vision to blur, white spots blinding you.
Keeping your leg propped up with one of his arms, he moves the other from its position on your hips. Fingers tenderly stroking your hair, you shudder at the affectionate touch, only to cry out when he grips your hair and yanks your head back. The movement exposes your neck and using the opportunity, Jimin buries his face into the crook as he bruises it with more of his marks. At the same time, he begins riding you furiously - enjoying the way your inner walls ripple around his cock in the most enticing way possible.
Each thrust has his hips smacking against your ass and the sound of skin slapping is only broken by both your moans of pleasure, as well as the wet squelching of his cock fucking into your sopping wet cunt. Taking the flesh of your throat between his teeth, he nips and nibbles, causing the skin to turn tender under his ministrations. Then, releasing it, his tongue flicks out, he licks one broad line up your neck.
Getting to the spot just under your ear, he bites down on the soft flesh of your earlobe. “You like this don’t you, Kitten? You love the way this fat cock stretches you out. The way I ride your pussy hard and fast,” he taunts. The words shoot straight through your ear and down to your core, your cunt clenching responsively around his cock. You let out a garbled moan of affirmation, and Jimin lets out a throaty laugh.
“Merlin. Who knew the sweet little Head Girl was such a whore? Everyone thinks you’re so innocent. How do you think they’d react to seeing you like this? Your legs spread as you take my cock?” he questions and the teasing lilt to his voice has your thighs shaking.
Fog of euphoria nipping at the edges of your being, you feel the dull ache inside your stomach slowly intensify with every one of his thrusts. The muscles of your throat tighten at the pleasure, and in a bid to lubricate them, you swallow thickly. Behind you, Jimin continues plunging his cock into you, over and over again. Each thrust has his thick shaft dragging against every erogenous zone inside of you, and soon, you find yourself climbing higher and higher towards your peak.
Teetering on the brink of your orgasm, your stomach knots and twists. But it’s not enough. Between the apex of your thighs, your neglected clit viciously throbs - practically weeping as it begs for attention. Dry sob falling from your lips, “M-More. W-Wanna cum,” you croak out. Consumed by the pleasure Jimin reaps onto your body, electric ecstasy courses through your veins - your blood boiling with desire as you feel your end drawing nearer once again.
Swiftly, Jimin releases your hair. Instead, he thrusts his hand between your thighs and finding your clit, he presses the pulsating bud between his fingers. Toying with it gently, “Is that right, Princess? Do you wanna cum? Hmmm? You wanna cum all over this cock?” he ask, an apparent purr to his voice.
Driven mad with lust, it’s all you can do to gasp out your response. “Y-Yes. Please,” you slur. Skin prickling with goosebumps, your body flashes with heat. With each moment that passes, you can feel your orgasm slowly building up, your entire sanity dangling by a single thread.
Hearing your jumbled response, Jimin suddenly takes your hardened clit between his knuckles, and twists. “Then cum,” he orders with a hiss.
Instantly, a strangled wail of pleasure rips from your throat, the muscles of your oesophagus straining under the sound. The additional stimulation causes you to hurtle off of the precipice of your orgasm, and for a third time that night, you drive head first into bliss. Fingers scratching at the glass, you howl out Jimin’s name. Wave after wave of unadulterated bliss sweeps through you, the tide of your climax flooding into every fibre of your being as you sink into euphoria.
Eyes stinging with tears, white-spots blind your vision. Intense tremors wrack throughout your body, but even with the way your muscles tremble under him, Jimin continues thrusting his cock into you. His ministrations intensify your pleasure, and letting out a series of strangled sobs, you screw your eyes shut. Abruptly, the walls of your cunt clamp around his cock in a vice-like grip, and Jimin feels you grow wet once again. With your inner walls clenching and unclenching uncontrollably around Jimin’s thick cock, the Slytherin Head Boy lets out a carnalistic snarl.
“Fuck. That’s it, Princess. Cum around my cock. Fuck,” he urges with a groan. Nevertheless, your euphoria-addled mind barely registers his words. Instead, you fall forward, your body turning limp as you lose all semblance of your sanity as you revel in the waves of rapture that rocket through you. “Oh fuck. I’m cumming,” comes his strained groan.
Underlying ripples of pain begin fluttering through you as Jimin continues surging his cock in and out of your erratically contracting entrance; his fingers still mercilessly toying with your pulsating clit. Overstimulation gripping at you, “Please,” you weep.
Pace faltering, the hand playing with your clit moves to wind around your waist, and Jimin pulls you flush against his chest. Burying his cock as deep into your silken depths as he can, his thick shaft drives through your blissfully beaten cunt and you feel his blunt cockhead ram against the soft walls of your cervix. Instantaneously, your toes curl in pleasure, and your eyes roll into the back of your skull. Tears streaming down your cheeks, you let out a shuddering wail as your walls clamp down around him - almost painfully.
Without warning, Jimin’s pulsating cock swells inside of you, and with a deep roar, he begins cumming. Spurt after spurt of hot cum spills deep inside of your inner walls; Jimin painting your inner walls white with his essence. His cum is thick, and incredibly warm, and as you come down from your elated high, you relish in the feel of it flooding your stomach. Slowly, his cock turns flaccid, and you whine when the bulging thickness begins shrinking inside of you. Once he’s fully spent, he slowly begins pulling out of you.
The movement causes you to flinch, your raw cunt spasming with overstimulation as you feel his cock drag out of you. As soon as his cockhead pops out of your entrance, Jimin runs his nose against the back of your shoulder, and pressing a kiss to it, “Open your eyes and look at your cunt, Sweetheart,” he orders. Sluggishly, your eyes slip open before you lower your gaze to the juncture of your thighs.
Breath hitching in your throat, your eyes dilate at the sight. The previously taut muscles of your entrance are slightly parted open; the ringed flesh intermittently clamping around nothing. Thick trails of his gooey cum run out of your cunt and down onto the floor. Jimin’s teeth suddenly graze against your shoulder and, “See that? See how that tight little hole gapes? How you leak my cum? Such a pretty, ruined, cum-filled cunt,” he taunts.
Lazily, the hand on your clit dips further down your folds and towards your open entrance. A whine emanates from the back of your throat as you both watch, and feel, him press two fingers into you, the digits easily slipping into your battered entrance as he plays with his cum. Flinching at the intrusion, you weakly bat at his hand, an inarticulate sound of protest slipping from your mouth. Chuckling, Jimin pulls his hand away, and wiping his cum across your folds, he kisses the back of your neck.
Carefully, he brings your propped up leg back down, and you flinch at the stiffness in your muscles. So consumed by pleasure, you hadn’t even noticed the muscles begin to turn sore. The moment your knee is back down on the floor, your body slumps. In fact, you’re sure the only reason you don’t fall to the ground is thanks to Jimin’s body propping you up. Jimin lets out another throaty laugh, and wrapping his arms around your body, he pulls you flush against his chest.
“Are you okay?” he asks, and despite the concern in his voice, you can’t help but notice the faintest inkling of amusement.
For a moment, you simply heave for air - in an attempt to satisfy the burn in your throat - and once you’ve caught your breath, you nod. Swallowing thickly, you lubricate the dry muscles of your throat, and, “G-Good,” you verbalise. Another chuckle resounds through the air.
“Are you sure? It doesn’t look like you are,” he teases. Lips curling into a slight pout, you meekly smack his thigh. Though, still weakened from your orgasm, you’re sure he barely feels it.
“You’d be like this too if you’d been fucked as hard as I was,” comes your response, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
“You’ve got me there,” Jimin responds with a laugh. “Are you even going to be able to make it back to the dorms?” he asks, a teasing smile on his face.
You pause hearing his words. Then, pulling your lower lip between your teeth, “Oh… we can sleep here… if you want,” you whisper, your eyes dropping to stare at the floor.
Jimin raises an eyebrow at your sudden timidness, and for a moment, he can’t help but think how cute you are. Really, he’d just fucked you to kingdom come, and yet here you were, getting all embarrassed with asking him to share a bed with you. Nonetheless, he ignores your shyness. Instead, “There’s no bed here,” he deadpans.
Suddenly perking up, “Oh! This is the Room of Requirement. We can just ask for a bed. See,” you respond, gesturing your head to the side of the room. Tilting his head, Jimin watches in surprise as a bed suddenly materialises out of nothing. For a moment, he wants to question it, however, after a few short seconds, he simply brushes it off.
Instead, his arms tighten around your body, and carefully, using all his strength, he picks you up. He carries your limp body towards the bed, and with each step, you find your heart beating faster and faster. Eyes transfixed onto his face, you chew on your lip once again. His flesh is covered in a thin coating of perspiration, and the ends of his dark-pine locks are soaked with sweat. Still, however, he looks beautiful: his skin glistening under the low lighting of the room.
Getting to the bed, you feel Jimin lower your naked body onto the mattress. The instant you feel the heavy weight of the cotton sheets, your spine shudders. Not wasting a single moment, you quickly shuffle your body under the covers, your shoulders relaxing when your bare figure is once again hidden. Beside the bed, Jimin strips down to his boxers. Deft fingers undo the buttons of his white oxford, and once all are unfasted, you watch as he peels the sweat-soaked material off of his body, his toned muscles rippling under taut, honey-kissed skin.
Once his shirt is off, Jimin swiftly shimmies out of his slacks - the fabric pooling around his ankles. Unable to tear your eyes from him, you watch as he steps out of the article, his thick thighs bulging within the confines of his boxers. Which, speaking of, once again hides his cock. You have no idea when he’d tucked it away, but you can’t help but feel disappointed. Nonetheless, your displeasure doesn’t last long, because the moment he’s done stripping, Jimin walks to the other side of the bed, and crawls into the covers beside you.
Feeling the bed dip with his weight, you turn to him, and nervously smile at him. Jimin easily notices your bashfulness and freezing for a moment, he looks at you in concern. “If it’s too awkward to share a bed, we don’t have to,” he says. Quickly, you shake your head.
“No! It’s not that… it’s just… this is the first time I’ve shared a bed with someone,” you mumble out, your head ducking under the covers in embarrassment. A deep-bellied laugh resonates through the air, and you feel Jimin tug the covers down.
Squealing at the sudden movement, you attempt to hide once again. However, Jimin’s arms swiftly wrap around your bare waist, and in one smooth motion, he pulls you into his embrace. “I’ve already taken your first time. It’s only right that I take this first time too, then,” he jokes. Despite the lighthearted tone to his voice, you find your chest tightening.
The feel of Jimin’s warm skin pressing against your back has your shyness quickly fading, and instead, your body melts into his. Head pressed to his bare chest, you hear the steady beat of his heart. The rhythmic pulsing soothes your nerves, and involuntarily, a soft smile curls onto your lips. Thoughtlessly, you snuggle further into him, and reflexively, Jimin’s arm tightens around your waist; allowing you to search for a comfortable position. Once you find it, you still, before revelling in the tenderness of your actions.
Silence befalls the room, and for long, drawn out moments, you simply relish in them. That is, until you really process the intimacy of it all. In your current position, your naked chest is flush against Jimin’s, the soft swells of your breasts pressing against his own, muscular ones. One of Jimin’s hands lazily traces shapes onto the flesh of your hips, the other tucked under the pillow. Your face presses into the crook of his shoulder, the deep notes of sandalwood and bergamot intertwining with Jimin’s own natural scent.
Stiffening in his arms once again, butterflies flurry through your stomach. You’re not stupid. You know that realistically, just sleeping with each other, doesn’t mean that you’re together. If that was the case, Jimin was probably dating every single apprentice, not to mention a few mastership students, in Hogwarts. No, you have no real fantasies that this means anything to Jimin. And yet, as he holds you in his arms, you can’t help but let your mind wander.
Sensing your nervousness, Jimin flexes his arms. He bends his head, and brushes plump lips against your forehead. “What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice deep, and baritone.
“Nothing,” you quickly respond. Jimin simply lets out a deep exhale of amusement.
“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” he replies. Then, nudging your head with his nose, “Go on, tell me what’s on your mind,” he urges. Sucking in a sharp breath, you contemplate his words. For a few moments, you simply deliberate on whether or not you should say it. Or well really, ask him. You have no idea how he’ll react, and you know there’s a good chance he’ll simply laugh and wave you off. Nevertheless, this could be your only chance.
So, taking a deep, steadying breath, you gather all your courage, and, “Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?” you ask. The words rush out of your mouth in one single breath, and pulling away, Jimin regards you in surprise.
“Like… a date?” he clarifies, and bashfully, you nod your head. He doesn’t answer straight away. Instead, he simply watches you carefully, his features carefully passive. With each second that passes, you feel your courage and hope dwindle; mortification once again settling in your bones. Then, to your utter surprise, Jimin speaks.
“Sure,” he agrees. Eyes widening, your face shoots up as you gawk at him.
“Wait, really?” you stupidly ask. At your question, Jimin snorts.
“What? Did you not really want to go?” he asks, and despite the evident playfulness of his voice, you quickly shake your head.
“N-No. I just… didn’t expect you to agree,” you reply lamely. Jimin nods.
“Well, if I’m being honest, I’ve never really thought about it. Or you… like that,” he begins, and swiftly, you find yourself deflating. Sensing your upset, Jimin bends his head down and presses a kiss to your shoulder, “But, that was only because I didn’t really think we would be compatible… but after tonight… you’ve definitely piqued my interest, _____,” he continues.
Hope blooms through you once again, and against your will, you find a smile curling onto your lips, “Really?” you ask. Hearing the happy inflexion to your voice, Jimin can’t help but chuckle.
“Yes, really,” he replies. Then, a grinning wolfishly, he teasing grazes his teeth against your shoulder before biting down softly. The action causes you to gasp, and Jimin lets out a low growl. “Besides, I can’t wait to learn what else you saw in the mirror.” Instantly, your cheeks flush, and you let out a little whine.
“Stop teasing me,” you grumble.
Humming, “Nope,” Jimin replies, popping the ‘p’. “You’re too cute when you’re embarrassed for me to do that,” he explains.
You let out a little huff, and open your mouth to retort. Only to pause. Suddenly, a thought crosses your mind, and responsively, your eyebrows knit together. Curious as to what the mirror showed him, “What did you see?” you ask. A wicked smile curls onto Jimin’s face, his dark-pine hair hanging loosely in the air as he grins at you.
“Nothing,” comes his simple answer. Eyebrows creasing in confusion, you look at him in scepticism.
“Nothing?” you repeat, disbelief clearly laced in your voice. Jimin only hums in response. Bending his head down, he brushes his voluptuous lips against yours.
“The mirror shows you what your heart desires most. And in that moment, I had exactly what I desired,” comes his simple response. Instantaneously, a warm fuzziness flurries through your stomach; but as soon as it comes, it goes. Because, the next moment, Jimin is pulling you in for a deep kiss.
Tumblr media
a/n: i hope y’all jimin fans are well fed, i know i’ve been starving y’all sjfjsjjfjdf anyway. this was super hard to write because i don’t see jimin sexually nor romantically so i struggled with it A LOT but 😭i hope i did it justice 😭 please don’t forget to lmk what you thought 🥺👉🏼👈🏼
⇥ Masterlist | Like my work? Consider buying me a Kofi!
5K notes · View notes
evita-shelby · 3 years ago
Text
Between the Shadow and the Soul
Chapter 11
5/26/22- turns out I accidentally deleted it lol
Cw: racism, slutshaming, mentions of death
Gif by @nofckingfightinging
Tumblr media
"You turned cloak so many times in that war, I wonder if your husband knows how cheap your loyalty is.” he says as if he’s caught her, but even if he spent his life trying to find Tommy's weakness, he wouldn’t find it with her. 
Eva knew he would follow her there. A park bench while she reads a book about poetry. People used to give her looks, some good some bad, but it was those types of looks that reminded you where the Americans got their racism. But that changed when Tommy noticed her, everyone feared him and it was in their best interest that Eva Shelby, nee Smith, was treated as if her skin was as pale as her husband’s. 
Irene O'Donnell eyed her with intrigue while Donnal Henry eyed her like she was dog shit on his boot. Campbell looks at her like she was put on this earth to make his life miserable. 
“I was a spy for the rebels, sir, a much better one than Grace seeing I fooled everyone into thinking that. Do you know how easy it was for me to expose her?” Eva loathes Grace, not only because somehow the insipid little cunt managed to creep in like the snake she is, but also because she was just so fucking awful at her job. Had she been a spy in Mexico she wouldn’t have lasted ten minutes. "Two conversations with her and your god-awful idea to meet in the cemetery where everyone can see you, and by the next day I had told Polly and Thomas what I’d seen.” 
Eva hates ineptitude just as much as she hates the idea of sharing her husband. 
“She served her purpose well enough.” He said angry that a foreign witch was the one who helped Thomas Shelby evade justice. 
“Did you know I was given a gray filly just like the one my husband bought recently for my services by Pancho Villa?” Eva is not one to brag about her time in Villa’s army ---after its inglorious end who can really--- but Campbell is an exception. Its burns him that a twenty-six-year-old housewife has done more for her country than he has for his. Although an Irishman on the side of his people’s oppressors must have no pride. “You see I sounded so American by the time I finished boarding school, no one could tell I was from Mexico. Except for my coloring, obviously.” 
“And then killed when you refused to give up your chastity to the general you served, an admirable thing, you were a girl of twenty all alone.” he says as if the majority of Mexico wasn’t composed of Catholics. 
“Shame Grace couldn’t keep her legs closed, not a very good Protestant girl, was she? Should have seen how eager she was to jump in his bed, all of Small Heath knew she was whore by then, flirting with both Arthur and Thomas.” Although who could blame Grace, Tommy was great in bed ---if a little tame. Linda seemed to be really enjoying Arthur’s bed, going by her blushes, even if she has to step into the Sodom and Gomorrah that is the Eden Club. 
“This isn’t about Mrs. Macmillian, Mrs. Shelby.” Normally Eva is above calling women sluts and whores for having sex, but it hurts Campbell to have Grace be slandered so. 
 “You know I’ve seen your death in the cards, let's just say if you thought being shot by a woman was embarrassing, imagine being killed by one.” Eva never plans on letting him get to the point, she could talk the ears off a person if she set her mind to it. 
“Are you threatening me, Mrs. Shelby?” he says tensing and Eva simply shrugs. 
“No, I don’t need to threaten people, I simply tell them what the Universe has said to me, you see, Major, I am a witch cursed to see the future.” her voice is barely above a whisper, low and sweet like poison made with honey. “Think of me as Cassandra of Troy, cursed with prophecies that will never be believed.” 
----
“You can hardly tell you’re pregnant, you know. I was like that with Danny.” Esme says when Eva comes in through the betting shop, it was much faster than using the other door. Daniel Owen Shelby was Esme’s boy, named after Danny Whizz-Bang. He was John’s fifth child, but Esme’s first and only child. “I hope I can have a pregnancy as good as yours was. I’m sacred of dying like my sister or the baby dying, but it's stupid because the universe has shown me this little one will have three younger sisters.” Eva touches her stomach as if to assure herself that she won’t die like Felicidad did.  
“If Tommy is anything like John, those girls of yours will be spoiled rotten. He already bought Katie earrings because he didn’t want her to feel left out when he got Daisy some for her birthday.” Esme says with a laugh. If you’d look at her with Katie, Johnny, Daisy and Robbie you’d think she’d birthed them with how much they loved her and she loved them. Even Daisy who was thinking herself grown at ten and would be unbearable in her teenage years. 
“I just know he will.” Eva gets the sudden feeling of someone walking up to the betting shop, a woman she’s heard about, but has never met. “I’ll get the door; I think we are about to have an unexpected guest.” 
May Carleton was beautiful, in that English heiress type of way. Stunning woman really and ironically both Eva and Tommy’s type. If Eva wasn’t married, she’d definitely try and see if she could get anywhere with her. “I have an appointment with Mr. Thomas Shelby.” 
No hello, no may I come in, nothing is even politely asked and she enters in a way Eva can only describe as Hernan Cortes entering Tenochtitlan already planning how he’s going to oust Moctezuma. 
“May Carleton,” May extends her hand to Eva, but Eva eyes it with suspicion. Tommy had told her about her flirting with him ---unfortunately he played dumb when she asked about Grace’s letters, so that’s going to end badly--- and the way she came in here like a colonizer feels a little insulting. 
“He usually takes appointments at his proper office.” Eva says wondering how to politely kick her out. She can bet Moctezuma had similar thoughts on how to shake off the Spanish. 
“This was the address he gave me.” May drops her hand, feeling the sting. Eva was being rude, but why the hell May Carleton think anyone would be nice to her here.  
“He gave you this address?” Esme asks standing by Eva in what can only be seen as solidarity. 
“He said this was a gambling den. I told him I wanted to see one since I’m always reading about them in the papers.” now it made sense. Bored rich girl, Eva hated those. Always tried to make her their pet project, always stealing someone else’s boyfriend for shits and giggles and always treating the working class like this circus oddity they can pay to see. “Quite the big scandal in the Telegraph lately. Anyway, he said, I could, uhm, take a look.” 
Esme looks at May with incredulity and Eva has that try me bitch look she perfected when she was sixteen and Oneida Villareal Diaz tried to make her life a living hell. Probably likes tonic water too. 
Eva already hates her and it's not even about May setting her sights on her charming criminal of a husband. 
“And now I feel like a bit of an idiot, because I’m early and he’s late and I have no idea how to behave.” she says almost nervously. 
“In a Gambling Den?” Esme doesn’t take kindly to being a spectacle for a rich white woman to enjoy. 
“I'll go wait in the car.” May has the decency to appear apologetic, not that it would save her. The Lees are famous for their resentment. 
“Oh, you don’t have to. He’ll be here in maybe five minutes; he is very punctual. I am Eva Shelby.” this time Eva offers her hand. The Mexican Spanish accent feels more pronounced and Eva isn’t sure if she should have done that on purpose. With Oneida and her posse of rich mean girls, it was the opposite. The more Irish she sounded the better. Remind them, she was the foreign European one. Didn’t help she was darker than them, which was why they always thought her beneath them. All that culminated with Eva ‘accidentally’ pushing Oneida down a few steps so she’d hurt her ankle and Eva would be playing both Odette and Odile in their school’s rendition of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. She hates Swan Lake, but boy does she love revenge. 
“So, what brings you here, Miss Carleton?" Eva asks in that sweet polite manner of hers that she uses on strangers. 
“I am going to train his racehorse, for Epsom.” she says still taking everything in, reminding Eva about how Oneida looked at the offices by the port and how surprised she was to see how well off the Smith Rileys lived. After all they did benefit from the Porfiriato up until the Americans destroyed their ships. 
“You know horses?” Esme asks as if she didn’t believe posh Miss Carelton was a horse trainer. 
“Yes, you?” May asks and now Eva wonders if she judged May wrong. 
“Born riding. Slept in a manger when I was a baby.” Esme answers, a softness about her face when she recalls her childhood. 
John comes in, complaining about May’s car. And Tommy comes in just as John assumes Eva is feeling threatened by the beautiful heiress. 
“Sorry I’m late,” he clears his throat and John backs down. “There was a business matter.” he doesn’t kiss Eva’s cheek like he always does and that just annoys her more. He orders for Esme and John to keep the place locked for a while and Eva wonders if she is supposed to cockblock them to prevent May Carleton from getting the idea Tommy is unattached, or leave in a huff before she does something immature like trip her. She trusts her husband, but she doesn’t trust Carelton to keep Carelton to keep her lily-white hands off her man. 
“You hate her, don’t you?” he asks knowing the answer to his question. Lucky for Eva they have the house for themselves since Finn likes spending the night at Polly’s because he misses her and Arthur has gotten a place in London above the Eden Club. 
“I don’t know her enough to hate her, but the impression she has given me leaves her in the same spot as the girls who made my life hell in boarding school. Walked into the betting shop like a fucking colonizer.” Eva groaned and he laughs at her choice of words. She may be more Irish than Nahua, but she was raised to know colonialism is evil and how it looks. Every foreign country owned and enslaved mexicans with their factories in Mexico. “Did she drink Tonic Water? The bitchy rich girls always drank that.” 
“You drink it too, love.” he points out and once again Eva finds herself forgetting she’s a little angry at him. Here acting like everything is fine while cleaning up after dinner. Him being playful with her and reminding her how horny pregnancy has made her. 
“Don’t do that.” she says reminding herself it's now or never. 
“Do what, Evie?” he asks bracing himself for the inevitable fight they are hurdling to. 
“That thing you do where you make me forget that I am actually pretty fucking mad at you, Tommy.” she says angrily. “I know about those letters Grace has written to you and to top it all off, you didn’t even bother correcting Carleton when she assumed you were unmarried today.”  
If Tommy thought her pretty when she was mad, she’d look fucking gorgeous tonight. 
---
Notes:
happy new years, i was bored in my room and wrote this all in one sitting, yay!
First things first, only Katie, who I assume is the younger daughter since she is still peeing the bed in season 1, is named. I gave them names here. In order they are: Daisy, Robert (robbie), John Jr (Johnny) and Katie. the baby Esme had between seasons is named Daniel Owen after Danny Whizz Bang who gets killed by Billy Kimber in season 1.
May Carleton gave me bitchy rich girl vibes at first, didn't dislike her as much as i dislike Grace ---who I just think sucks as a charcter, spy , but excels as a ghost--- or Tatiana ---who is just an awful person and kinda annoying.
The Porfiriato is the title given to the thirty-one years (seven presidential terms)President Porfirio Diaz was in power in Mexico. guy started out sort of good, but became a tyrant who favored foreign investments, industrailism without care about people's rights and literally killed his oppnents. his regime lead to the Second Revolution that kinda ended up almost exactly the same. The US originally backed the rebels until the Rebels started raiding them because they were still pissed about the US orchestrating the Mexican-American War to steal half of what is now the continetnial US. the 2nd revolution would make a fantasitic m-rated period drama, has a lot of violence, back stabbing, politics and at one point 41 queer men were exsposed at a dance (there's a movie called El Baile de los 41/the Dance of the 41) one of them being Diaz's son-in-law.
47 notes · View notes
sierraraeck · 4 years ago
Text
A Cruel Joke
Emily x Bi!Fem!Reader
Masterlist
Tumblr media
Summary: You find solace in the arms of a hurting FBI agent after she comes to investigate the death of your best friend.
Category: Angst, implied smut.
Warnings: 15 year age gap between adults (37/22)
Word Count: 4.9k
A/N: If you don’t like the name Alexa, I’m sorry, just try to imagine that it’s a different name.
A lesbian and a bisexual walk up to a crime scene. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but this situation was very real, and very unfunny.
You’d had a bad feeling. That should have been enough to get you to stay with her, you’re best friend, but you didn’t. You had been selfish.
And now she was dead.
Alexa was dead.
And it was your fault.
Had you just pulled yourself together and been there for her as a friend, stopped worrying about how you felt, she wouldn’t have walked back to your campus apartment from that party alone, and she wouldn’t have been vulnerable to the monster that took her and he wouldn’t have…
But he did, and now you were numbly walking down the sidewalk that led behind the sorority house you’d been partying at and to the local park, not even registering anything that was happening around you.
You’d heard the news before you could even press send on a text making sure she was okay. You’d heard the news, but you had to confirm for yourself. She couldn’t be dead, she just couldn’t be. You saw her only last night, not even six hours ago.
Despite officers and other important people yelling at you to get back, you just kept walking towards the crime scene, taped off with that awful yellow color.
Just as you were about to duck under the tape, approach the group of suits standing with their backs to you in a half circle, you felt a hand on your shoulder, a presence appearing in front of you.
“Miss, I’m sorry but you can’t be here.” It was a delicate voice, belonging to a woman.
“I have to know if it’s her. I just saw her, it can’t be her, I have to know if it’s her,” you mumbled in a panic, still trying to get a glimpse of what was sprawled on the ground in front of the officers. You realized they were staring at you now, but you couldn’t look away. You had to know.
“Miss, please, you shouldn’t be here,” the woman repeated. Her hand was still on your shoulder, and you finally looked her in the eyes, took in her face. Her features were gentle yet strong, and there was something striking about the contrast between her dark hair, fair skin, and pink lips.
You were trembling, something she could feel against her fingertips, and the water brimming in your eyes was enough to let her know how much you cared, probably more than anyone around.
She quickly glanced back at the other men behind her, and the tallest one nodded. With her hand still on your shoulder, she escorted you away from the scene, and away from prying eyes to a secluded park bench.
“Would you like to take a seat?” she asked.
All you could do was nod. Nothing felt real. Her voice sounded like it was reaching your ears by an old, fuzzy radio set up 10 feet away from you. This can’t be happening.
You plopped down on the bench with much less grace than the woman before you, who introduced herself as Agent Prentiss. “But you can call me Emily,” she’d said. “Can you tell me your name?”
“Y/N Y/L/N,” you whispered. Your arms were wrapped around yourself as you asked, “Is it her? Is it Alexa?”
Emily dodged your question with another question. “Who’s Alexa?” You later realized why she didn’t ask you how you knew her. She didn’t ask because she’d have to ask ‘how did you know her’ and not ‘how do you know her,’ something that surely would have set you off.
“She… she’s my b-best friend,” you mumbled around the lump in your throat.
“You mentioned that you just saw her. When was that?”
“Last night. We decided to crash the party with some of our friends who are actually in the sorority,” you explained meekly. “Please, Emily. Would you please tell me if it’s her? I have to know.”
Emily sighed and gave you a sad look, which was really all you needed, but hearing the words made it final. “Yes. We found identification on her with the name Alexa Stephens. I’m so sorry.”
Your whole heart shattered. You cared about her more than any of her other friends, and you sometimes wondered if you cared about her more than her family. She had a rough childhood and couldn’t stand to be in the same state as them anymore, which is why she transferred halfway through her freshman year. You immediately connected with her and you’d been friends ever since.
Your mind was racing, thinking of all the questions you needed answered, all the things you could have done differently to keep her alive. If you would have just been there…
“It’s not your fault,” the angelic voice broke through the static in your head, as if she could hear your thoughts.
“It is,” you whimpered, “If I had just pulled myself together, we would have walked home together, and she wouldn’t have been alone. Oh god, she died alone.”
“You did nothing wrong. You didn’t know, you couldn’t have. I’m sure you did what you thought was best in the moment.” It didn’t make you feel a whole lot better, but you grasped onto her words in an attempt to calm yourself down. You knew there was still more information she probably needed from you. You took some deep breaths, closing your eyes. A warmth spread its way through your palms, and you realized that the agent had put her hands in yours, giving them a reassuring squeeze. You held onto them like an anchor point. “Can I ask you a few more questions, or would you like to take a break?”
In through your nose, out through your mouth. You opened your eyes and nodded. “I want to help in whatever way I can.”
Emily continued to ask you questions about your night and if you remembered anyone suspicious. She asked if there was anyone who was staring at her, to which you told her that would be half the people at the party. Alexa usually had a steady stream of boys coming and going, some she dated and some she didn’t.
You never really understood that. You barely liked one person, let alone multiple back to back or at the same time. But Alexa just had this appeal to her, and while some would disagree with you, you thought she had a big heart. A big, blind heart.
“Thank you so much for your time. Give me a call if you remember anything else, anything at all,” Emily said, handing you her business card, “and I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks. I will,” you answered dryly.
# # # # # # # # # # # # #
You woke up feeling out of sorts. You’d dreamt of her last night. Well, you’d dreamt of them. You saw Alexa laughing, and then you saw her sprawled on the ground, an image your mind had created all by itself, and then you saw Emily. Felt her soothing hand on your shoulder, her warm palms encasing yours.
Then you woke up. The whole thing made you feel weird and sad and tired.
You picked up the business card Emily had given you, twirling it in your hand. You hadn’t remembered anything new, but you felt safe around her. Noticed, important, like you mattered. You realized just how much you were lacking that from Alexa, from your other friends.
Simply calling her wouldn’t do, though. You wanted to see the woman that for once in your life made you feel like you didn’t have to pretend you were okay. She knew you had lost someone close to you, and didn’t expect you to keep it together.
What were you saying? You put the card down, remembering that you’d only spoken to her for all of 30 minutes and she was just doing her job. Nothing more, nothing less. You also had the wherewithal to know that you were probably only grasping at any minute display of affection since you’d just lost the one person you so desperately wanted it from but could never get it. It made you feel pathetic and angry.
God you were also just so tired.
Classes were not going to happen, so you just laid back down, hoping to be swept into another dream.
# # # # # # # # # # # # #
A knock at the door woke you up. You weren’t sure what time it was, but you didn’t really care as you walked to the door.
Without looking through the peephole, you eked the door open. Emily was standing there along with another agent you’d seen at the crime scene.
“Hello. Y/N, right?” the blond asked. You nodded. “My name is Jennifer Jareau, and I believe you’ve met Emily.”
Emily smiled at you and you forced a small smile back. “What can I do for you?”
You invited them in and they asked you a few more questions. However, you were only half paying attention to what they were saying, and more paying attention to the way the two women were interacting. You’d sensed a tension the minute they walked in, but it seemed to be one sided. You figured it out by about the eighth time Emily glanced over at Jennifer. You recognized the look in her eyes: a mixture of love and hurt. You’d seen it too many times in the mirror not to pick up on it. But what really caught your eye was how many times Emily’s gaze traveled down to Jennifer’s hands. Specifically her left one with a shiny diamond on it. One look at Emily’s hand, and well, it wasn’t too difficult to put the rest together.
“Thank you again for your time,” Jennifer said, shaking your hand. Emily was slower to move, making eye contact with the other agent, some message you were not privy to passing between them. Jennifer gave you a tight lipped smile and left, but Emily stayed.
“I wanted to give you this,” Emily explained, holding out her hand. There was a small necklace in it, one you recognized immediately. “She was still wearing it and I thought you might want it back.”
You took it out of her hand, admiring the small heart pendant that dangled at the end. You’d bought it for Alexa for her 21st birthday. Her last birthday. “Thank you so much,” you said as you started to tear up. Just when you thought you’d cried yourself dry.
“Of course.” You thought Emily was going to leave after that, but she lingered a moment longer. You looked up at her, and she bit her lip, probably trying to decide if she should ask her next question or not. “She wasn’t your best friend, was she?”
You gave a weak smile, dropping eye contact. “That depends. Are you asking her or me?”
“I’m asking you.”
“No, she wasn’t. She meant more to me than that. But I never meant more to her. I sometimes wondered if I even meant that much to her,” your voice wavered.
“I’m sure you did,” Emily tried to reassure, but you weren’t buying it.
“Hope so,” you muttered. Looking back up at Emily, you held her eyes this time. “What about you and Jennifer?”
Her response was immediate. “What?” She sounded shocked, but you could tell she was trying to play it off.
You offered a single laugh. “I may not be a genius FBI analyst or profiler or whatever, but I know a hurting gay when I see one.”
Her mouth was still open, like she was going to try to come up with an excuse, but instead she just sighed. “That obvious?”
“Clearly not to Jennifer.” You shrugged. “Looks like I’m not the only one to lose someone recently.”
“It’s not the same thing,” Emily shook her head.
“You don’t need to downplay your pain,” you told her. “I know how bad that hurts. Why do you think I left that party early?”
A look of understanding flashed through her eyes. “A constant stream of guys…” Emily quoted your from earlier.
“Yeah,” you shrugged again. “Sometimes it’s just too hard to watch. Sometimes it’s just too hard to listen. When she’d come back to me crying over a break up when I was sitting right there… it’s painful. And that night I just couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t watch her waste her time on another guy who was going to hurt her. So I left. Look where that got me,” you mumbled the last part.
Emily gave a sad, bitter laugh. “She asked me to be her maid of honor.”
You sighed with her. “I’m sorry.” You had barely noticed the tear that escaped her eye before she forcefully brushed it away.
Something changed in her demeanor when she realized a tear had escaped, speaking faster as she headed towards the door. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this. You already have a lot on your plate, and I don’t need to be unloading my personal issues on you. Again, I’m sorry, I will make sure-”
“Emily,” you cut her off, grabbing her arm and turning her towards you as she was about to reach for the doorknob. You weren’t sure what you’d been planning on doing once you stopped her, and the first thing you thought to do was hug her. You pulled her in close and wrapped your arms around her. She seemed shocked, but put her arms around you like it was the most natural thing in the world for the two of you to be doing.
You don’t know how long you stood there, but you would’ve stayed there forever if you could. The warmth and safety of her arms was something you’d never really experienced before.
When she pulled back from your embrace, you realized you’d both been silently crying. Her fingers traveled over your jaw, and her thumbs brushed away your tears. Your faces were only inches apart, but something in the back of your head told you that it wasn’t the right time.
Instead, you leaned forward and kissed away her tears, pressing your lips to her cheekbones. You felt her eyelashes on your face, a feeling you tried to commit to memory. A feeling you never got to experience with Alexa. One you never would.
“Y/N,” she whispered. You heard everything in the way she said your name, a warning that no matter how badly the two of you wanted this right now, it wasn’t a good decision.
“I know,” you whispered back, resting your forehead on hers, “Just please. Please let me live in my head for a little while longer.”
You stood there for a few more moments, her hands cupping your face and your hands on her back before she completely pulled away. “I will make sure we do everything we can to find the man who did this.”
“I know,” you repeated. “Thank you, Emily.”
She offered another small smile, but this time it felt a bit more sincere. With that, she left to continue fighting the monster that had ripped the earth out from under you.
# # # # # # # # # # # # #
Three more days and another victim later, the case was closed. Emily and her team had caught the bastard, putting him away for good.
You felt like you owed it to her, to the whole team, to go down to the local station they were set up in and thank them.
The moment you walked in, Emily spotted you. She put down whatever pictures and maps were in her hand, and rushed over to you. Without exchanging a word you embraced, similarly to how you’d done a few days ago, although much shorter this time as you were in public.
“We got him.” Her voice was assured and her lips curved in just the smallest way as she studied your face.
“I don’t know if I could ever thank you enough,” you told her. You looked over her shoulder to the conference room she’d just abandoned, catching the majority of the other members looking your way. “Is that your team?”
Emily turned around to follow your gaze, most of the others looking away as she did so. “Um, yes. That is them.” You couldn’t exactly figure out what subtle meaning was in her tone of voice, but ultimately chose to ignore it.
“Can I… um, well, can I talk to them? I want to thank them,” you quickly explained. Emily turned around to give you a shy smile.
“Sure,” she agreed, heading towards the conference room. You figured that was your cue to follow her, so you did, trialing close behind her.
She pushed open the doors and introduced you. Of course, they all knew who you were as you’d been a mess when you showed up on their crime scene, and had apparently been a ‘big help’, which the tallest man with a stern face, told you.
“Oh, I didn’t really do anything,” you waved him off. “You did all the hard work, which I wanted to thank you all for. It means a lot that you were here and able to close this case. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” a tall, strong-built man replied. “Happy that we could help.”
“But a lot of the credit should go to Emily,” a thin man with curly hair stated, a small smirk on his face, “She really did most of the work.”
Emily opened her mouth to protest as she gave both men a dangerous side eye, to which all they did was fail to suppress a smile. You stopped her before she could refute, “Well, thank you.” The message was broad, directed towards everyone, but your eyes lingered on Emily.
She gave you a single nod, and you quickly glanced around the room at the agents that helped get justice for Alexa before heading out the door. You looked back at Emily before you left, her eyes following you out while the two tall men behind her were passing knowing looks. You caught a glimpse of the blonde agent staring at the whole interaction, then biting her lip and looking away. You looked back towards Emily and the two male agents, the bald one shaking his head in what you could only guess was amusement, something you felt a little flattered about. Again, you weren’t a profiler, but you could read the classic signs of friends teasing friends over something like a crush. You hoped your brain wasn’t too foggy from the whirlwind that your life had become to mistake those signs for something they weren’t.
You were just getting into your car and pulling the driver’s side door shut when the passenger side swung open. Emily plopped down in the passenger seat of your car, quickly shutting the door. Surprised to see her, you just sat there like a fool looking at her.
She glanced over at you, biting her lip, a little bit of mischief in her eyes. “Are you going to drive or should I?”
In response, you finished shutting your door and started the car. “What took you so long?” you teased. “Was it Jennifer?”
“Let’s not talk about Jennifer,” Emily responded, a level of conviction in her voice you hadn’t heard yet.
“No, let’s not,” you agreed. Let’s not talk at all. You leaned across the console, bringing her face to yours with a hand on her cheek. She kissed you back, deeply. Oh what it was like to kiss someone you had feelings for, and not only kiss them, but have them kiss you back. You hadn’t realized just how starved you’d been of this feeling.
You pulled back first, needing to get some air back in your lungs. You plopped back down in your chair a little dazed.
Emily wetted her lips. “I know you wanted to do that before. Why’d you wait?”
“I waited to help you. To help get justice for Alexa,” you briefly explained, pulling out of the parking lot. “I know how important it is to have a clear head.”
“And now?”
“The investigation is over, isn’t it?”
“It is,” Emily confirmed.
“Then I am done waiting. That was the biggest mistake I ever made with her. I waited to tell her until she… until it was too late. I’m never going to do that again. Never.” It was a promise you intended on keeping.
“I did the same thing,” Emily shared, her voice getting quieter.
“I know. So let’s both just agree to be honest and forward with what we want,” you suggested.
“And what is it that you want?”
“You,” you confessed.
The drive from the precinct to your apartment was short, and you were there within the next couple minutes or so.
Taking Emily’s hand, you led her up the stairs and through the door of your apartment. The moment you shut and locked it, Emily was there, pulling you close and kissing you with much more passion than she had before. You pushed off her blazer and started frantically working on the buttons of her dress shirt. You had to part for a moment, just long enough for her to pull your shirt over your head. You were going in to kiss her again, when she stopped you.
“Woah, woah,” she whispered. “Slow down. I want to savor every last moment of this.”
Her eyes tore down your figure, fingers brushing over your collar bones, down around the swell of your breasts and over your stomach. When they reached the top of your jeans, she looked up at you. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t… I don’t want to be pushing you to do something you’re not ready for yet. I don’t want you waking up regretting this because you still haven’t taken the time you need to grieve Alexa.”
“Let’s not talk about Alexa,” you copied what Emily had said about Jennifer earlier. “I want to be here with you. Will you let me be here with you?”
She slowly nodded, and the moment she did, you put your lips back on hers. They were soft, just a bit swollen, and she swiped her tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entry. You gave it to her without question, and did you best to resume the work on her dress shirt buttons. Your tongues tangoed as you finally got her shirt off her.
As you led her to your room, you were thankful you didn’t have to pass Alexa’s, and even though no one else lived in your apartment anymore, you shut the door out of habit.
# # # # # # # # # # # # #
You woke up just before the early morning sun, drinking in the sight of the sleeping woman next to you. Your legs were tangled in the sheets, arms wrapped around each other.
Even though you’d had the entire night to admire her body, you couldn’t keep yourself from looking over her in awe. The way her face looked so at peace when she was sleeping and the way her dark hair messily fanned around her head made her look too perfect to be real. Everything that happened must’ve been a figment of your imagination, and the little solace you found in her felt like it was going to evaporate with your dreams.
And in a way, it was.
Once she woke up, she’d fly back across the country and go back to working her job like she’d never even met you. Maybe she hooked up with girls all over the country. She didn’t really strike you as that type, but you didn’t really know her.
The universe was playing a cruel joke on you. When you had the chance to spend years with the girl you were in love with, you didn’t have the guts to tell her how you felt, and now that you did, you only had a day or so with her. But in the end, both would leave. Both would be out of your life forever.
You’d been so caught up in these thoughts that you hadn’t noticed Emily peek her eyes open. The sun had just started shining through the blinds, and she squinted against the light. She was also able to see the wet streaks glinting against your skin.
That jolted her awake, sitting up on her elbow. “Hey,” she soothed, cupping your face, “What’s going on?”
You placed your hand on top of hers and wiped at your tears with the other. “You’re perfect,” you told her, voice barely above a whisper, “And you’re leaving. Everyone leaves.”
Instead of responding, Emily tucked you under her arm and held you while your wept. She whispered sweet nothings into your hair and cradled the back of your head. You held onto her like she was the only thing keeping you together, keeping the withering pieces you called yourself from crumbling completely.
But, as you’d said, at some point she’d have to go. She’d have to pick up her things and head back to her life. You were going to have to figure out how to manage on your own.
Once you’d calmed down enough, you apologized to her. She told you that she was there for you, and that you’d always have her number, which helped you feel a little better. Just as she was finishing putting on her clothes and heading toward the door, you said, “You know it’s not too late to tell Jennifer your feelings, right?” Emily gave you a sad look, one that told you it was too late, but you persisted. “She’s only engaged, and engagements can be broken. I saw the way she looked at you yesterday.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said she was oblivious?” Emily countered.
“True, but I was paying a lot more attention to you that day,” you informed her, which made her lips turn up. “But I’m talking about back at the precinct. As I was leaving and you were looking at me, and those two male agents were making eyes about the whole thing, I saw how she looked at you. She was jealous, and I think a little sad too. I’m just telling you that the worst thing that could happen if you tell her is she says no. The worst that could happen if you don’t tell her is you miss out on a life with her. Or before you know it, she’s getting hurt in the field and you end up right back here, just like me. Please, Emily. You have a chance to go for it, to tell her how you feel, something I was too stupid not to take advantage of when I could. Do it before it eats away at you any longer.” It was a plea by the time you finished.
Emily had never looked at you with pity before that moment, but there was a hint of the feeling in her eyes when you finished, like she thought you were desperate or naive. And, maybe you were, but you also thought that some of the pity might have been for herself.
You stood up out of bed, and approached her. She was standing frozen in the doorway, and the look of pity disappeared when you whispered, “It’s not too late.”
Emily pressed her lips to yours, in a slow, delicate way, one that felt like a goodbye. When she pulled back, her eyes were still closed and she barely spoke against your lips. “I hope you’re right.”
You looked deep into her eyes once she finally opened them, trying to remember the shape and the color, and how it felt to get lost in them. But then they were gone again, replaced by the hair on the back of her head as she walked away. She gave you one last small, sad smile before walking out the door of your apartment. That, you knew, would be it.
# # # # # # # # # # # # #
~11 months later~
Voicemail from: Emily Prentiss
“Hey Y/N. It’s me, Emily. I know we haven’t talked since the last time I saw you, and I know this phone call is kind of out of the blue… but, uh, I just felt like I should call you and tell you this myself. You were right. It wasn’t too late, and I told her. I told Jennifer how I really felt, and she broke off the engagement to be with me. We’ve been together now for about ten months, and um… well, this time around we both have rings on our fingers. So I guess what I’m really trying to say is thank you. Had it not been for you, or what you said to me that last night, I would have had to be the maid of honor at her wedding and watched while she married someone else, and the guilt would have eaten me alive. So thank you. You’ve changed my life. I hope that things are going well for you because you deserve everything that’s right in the world. Really, you do. And you always have my number if you ever need anything. Okay, um, I guess that’s all. Goodbye Y/N.”
#
#
Taglist
@90spumkin
171 notes · View notes