#i just think kohaai is like. simple at first glance but there’s a bit of nuance if you look a little closer

[airabuhan]

a little silly rant about kohaai, but one of my favorite explorations of their dynamic is to consider trying to flip their dynamic and the problems that come with trying to do so. because typically, it’s kohaku comforting aira right? even from when they were online, aira had confided in kohaku about his problems and kohaku actively listened and comforted him. even now, that dynamic of theirs is reflected in canon, with the vast majority of their interactions relating to this pretty unbalanced dynamic of kohaku speaking kind words to aira, talking about how happy being with aira makes him and just all around… it’s usually kohaku saying those sorts of comforting words.

and it’s not to say that aira doesn’t want to return the favor either. if anything, it’s quite the opposite because aira expresses that he wants to repay kohaku for the comfort that he gave him in the past, and he worries so much for kohaku in a dark night’s passing even though he feels useless and personally inadequate. of course aira’s kind to kohaku too, but aira wants to look out for kohaku in the same way that kohaku does for him… it’s just that kohaku almost never lets him do that, judging from how he hides things from aira in a dark night’s passing.

i’m sure it’s clear that kohaku wants to protect aira from the dangers that come with the darker side of the idol industry… kohaku knows well how much aira treasures idols, and the last thing he’d want to do is ruin the thing his treasured friend loves so much. i mean, this is the same person who talks about how much he loves aira’s smile, how he’s happy just by seeing aira smile and enjoy the thing he loves so much, that thing being idols. he’d want nothing more than to protect that smile of aira’s that he loves so much. but for aira? to see this insurmountable wall every time he attempts to get closer to kohaku? he already has major insecurities about not measuring up to others or being good enough, so his own close friend not opening up to him would do nothing but make his insecurities even worse… he even expresses this to leo in adnp, that he thought kohaku didn’t care about him as much as he cared for kohaku because of how kohaku had hidden everything away, and it’s only with a dialogue with leo that he’s able to realize that kohaku’s actions are done precisely because he cares so much about aira. but aira really does care for kohaku too, and wants to help or at least be a source of comfort for kohaku in the same way kohaku is for him, except he cant. not usually, anyways…

circling back to the main point, i think exploring what happens to their dynamic if you flip it, and how they react is so interesting… for aira to be the one to comfort kohaku, it’s rare but that’s what makes it more special. it doesn’t even have to be anything serious imo, but anything that allows kohaku to show a sliver of vulnerability with aira and for aira to be able to properly look out for kohaku, even repay him for being there for him during one of the loneliest periods of his life. admittedly, i don’t think kohaku showing vulnerability to aira would come easy at all, but it would be a really gratifying payoff if it was explored.

a cuter example would be a scenario where kohaku and aira enter a haunted house together and kohaku gets really frightened, with him latching onto aira for support. i mean, i’m sure aira would be afraid too, but seeing kohaku latch onto him in a rare case of fear would give him enough courage to be like ‘hold my hand, we can get through this…’. i’m sure kohaku could also easily be the one leading aira along, but after the helter-spider event, this idea has been roaming around my mind… in any case, i’m sure they’d both be absolutely spooked which is just. yeah.

i love exploring all the possibilities that could happen with kohaai’s dynamic… it’s not difficult to grasp, because at their core they’re just two teens who really care for one another because they were there for each other at their loneliest but such a simple dynamic can also lead to such interesting, human problems and insecurities within their relationship. it feels so raw and emotional, to have the real insecurities they both have affect the relationship they have as close friends. i like that kohaai isn’t absolutely perfect because the issues that potentially arise from their relationship are so captivating to me… even if canon refuses to explore this part of their relationship further than the CRUMBS from main story and adnp… ahaha :”) i’m happy with any and all kohaai crumbs though