#i just think it's slightly cooler than falling into a depression and sleeping forever in cobwebs

[phantomuheist]

Bad End AU where Maruki actually manages to manipulate Akira into becoming his puppet, just like Sumire, and actually brainwashes him to stay by his side. Even turning against his friends.

Juicy.

[my-dear-anonym]

Basking in Firelight:Jamilton Sequel

Masterpost

Chapter Sixty-Nine:

The Impossible Duet Vs. The Shape of My Heart

Music: The Shape of my Heart

WARNING- Title change incoming! Credit goes to CuriousAndDeadInside of Wattpad for thinking of the most fantastic title. Anyway, Basking in Candlelight and Basking in Firelight are now becoming Falling through Time, so don't be fooled by the title change, it's still here, just looks a little different.

I'm going to start marking where smut begins and end so people can just skip through it easily. I'll put R’s with little circles around them to stand for R rated whenever it starts and ends, There's no smut this chapter, just letting you know.

Also....this chapter didn't turn out as happy as I thought it would....oops. NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE HAPPY I PROMISE, I just had to get everything straightened out from after the battle and stuff.

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Warnings below

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Hamilton was sitting in front of the fire in a relaxation room connected to his and Jefferson's room, a cup of tea in hand. Now that their relationship was known, they didn't have to sleep in separate rooms anymore but since they weren't presidents, they didn't get their old rooms which meant they didn't have access to their bunker either. They didn't mind that much, honestly, their new room was much cooler, though the rest of the people in the Manor would probably disagree. They pretty much chose to move into the attic, a room with massive windows that looked out to the beautiful Manor grounds, plenty of room, if a bit dusty, cold, and removed from the rest of the Manor. It would be a bit of a hassle for anyone that had to work but Hamilton and Jefferson didn't, they were just there because everyone insisted they move in so they could be protected.

Hamilton pointed out that perhaps the Manor wasn't the safest place since it just got invaded, but Jefferson countered that it took an entire force to break in and even then it required inside help whereas Jefferson's house, the Goveys pretty much just knocked down the door and shot them. Besides, he was improving the security. It was super convenient for him to be in the Manor while he remodeled a bit for the new security measures that we're going in. Goveys wouldn't be breaking in again.

It was odd being back in the Manor again, everyone seemed to automatically turn to them for everything as if they were the presidents and not Adams and Burr. Something important happened? Someone wanted an opinion? They were sought out, they were more than happy to help. Adams, however, wasn't the least bit happy, neither was Burr but he didn't seem to care that much. But when it came to official business, like when the entire Presidential staff sat around the table with foreign ambassadors and the ambassadors would address Hamilton and Jefferson as the people of power, they had to be sure to redirect it to Burr and Adams, which would, in turn, make Adams near exploding with anger, he did not like being disrespected, Burr didn't show a reaction, just smiled, but anyone who knew him really well could tell that it bothered him to be disrespected like that. There wasn't anything that Hamilton and Jefferson could do about it other than make themselves scarce. So they didn't go to those dinners very often.

Jefferson slid his hand onto Hamilton's shoulder, his own cup of tea in hand, "Darlin' are you doing all right?" Ever since Laurens' death, Hamilton had been more removed and quiet. With no work to throw himself into to push away the grief, he didn't know how to cope. You'd think he'd be used to death by now, that he would have gotten used to it. But the thing about death is-

It only gets worse.

"Yeah..." Hamilton replied distractedly like he barely heard.

Jefferson sat down next to him and pulled him close, holding him comfortingly and saying nothing, at this point, he knew that words wouldn't help, Hamilton just needed someone there for him. They stayed like that for many hours, just drinking tea and staring at the fire, it was almost like the easy days when all they had to deal with were a few nightmares. Funny, Hamilton never thought he would miss those days.

After a while, Hamilton looked over to Jefferson and spoke, "I want to explain what happened between Laurens and me."

"Darlin' there's no need-"

"Yes, there is, I don't want us to continue with even the slightest doubt in my loyalty to you," Hamilton cut him off. Jefferson lapsed into silence and Hamilton looked back into the flames of the fire. "It was nothing really, I almost accidentally shot John and he got me back by pulling me into a sudden kiss. I didn't know it was happening until it was over, it was too short for me to push him off. I swear, if I had known his intentions- I didn't even know he liked me like that."

"Darlin'" Jefferson said softly, placing his hand gingerly on Hamilton's face, making him face him, "You never had anything to explain. I should be the one apologizing for my attitude that day, I shouldn't have pushed you away, I was just in so much pain."

"Thomas, it's okay, I think we both could've handled it better," Hamilton smiled slightly.

Jefferson smiled back and they both settled back into the couch again. "You know what could've been handled better? The revealing of our relationship."

"That's your fault for being so clingy."

"Oh, I'm sorry that I care about your mental health," Jefferson rolled his eyes.

"The public certainly went crazy about it," Hamilton said.

"You remember that group that constantly stood outside my door? They're claiming all responsibility for setting us up."

Hamilton laughed, "Really? That's insane."

Jefferson shrugged, "It's better than the negative responses going around."

"Do you think it'll affect the election results?"

"Not much, the people seemed ecstatic when they found out we were running again and there's no law about the Presidents being involved. The scandal that we needed to avoid was being discovered while we were presidents, but being elected into the presidency with that knowledge already known should be just fine."

Hamilton smirked, "Does that mean I can fuck you openly now?"

Jefferson rose an eyebrow at him, and Hamilton cackled. "Not in public, darlin'."

"Not even on the table?" Hamilton smirked.

"No."

Hamilton sighed dramatically and took another drink of his tea. They both returned to staring into the fire when Hamilton spoke suddenly, "Would you like to play with me?"

Jefferson smiled and got up to retrieved the two large black cases that held their cellos. "What shall we play, darlin'?"

"What do you think?" Hamilton laughed.

Jefferson looked at him confusedly, handing Hamilton his case, "What do you mean?"Hamilton's gaze flickered over to the second cello case Jefferson had hauled over, not his violin. Jefferson noticed and glanced at his cello, still confused, "What's wrong?" Hamilton remained silent, remembering an interaction they had after Jefferson had lost his memory.

You were playing.

Yes, I was.

What song?

Bach.

Ever play a song called the Impossible Duet?

The Impossible what?

"Do you know the Impossible Duet?" Hamilton asked quietly, scared of the answer.

"The Impossible Duet? I don't think so," Jefferson replied, thinking, "Who is it by?"

"Handel."

Jefferson thought for a moment, "I don't recognize the name but play it for me, I might know the tune."

Hamilton sat down and placed his cello between his knees and shakily picked up his bow. He wasn't sure if his heart could take it if Jefferson didn't remember it, no matter what happened to them, death, life, war, torture, anything, they always remembered that song, it always brought them together. But if Jefferson didn't remember-

Hamilton played the first note, but it was off and shaky, Jefferson shot him a concerned look, "Alexander, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine, just haven't played in a while."

That was a lie if Jefferson ever heard one but he let it slide. Hamilton started over again, this time his notes coming out perfectly. Jefferson listened intently.

This couldn't be...

The same memory played through his mind,

What song?

Bach.

He had lied. He lied that night, he didn't want anyone to know about the song that had been haunting him ever since he woke up, the song that had been driving him insane, driving him to drink to drown it out just for a moment of peace.

The song that made him think constantly of Hamilton.

Hamilton finished the piece and sat for a moment, unable to turn and see Jefferson's face knowing there was every possibility of Jefferson not remembering. Finally, he turned and faced him, "So?"

Jefferson shook off the distant look that had settled over him and looked at Hamilton, "Yes, I know that song," he said softly. Hamilton breathed a sighed of relief. "What is it and why does it haunt me?"

"It's the song that bound us together as we fell through time."

Jefferson nodded, "Okay, let's play it together then."

"You'll need your violin," Hamilton reminded him, "It's a duet for violin and cello."

Jefferson rubbed his neck, "I, ah, burned mine."

"You WHAT?"

"It was a long time ago, before we got back together I broke down one night and couldn't handle it so I threw it in my fireplace. Why do you think I haven't played in forever?"

Hamilton plucked at the strings of his cello and sighed, thinking about how he could get a new violin for Jefferson. He had just the one in mind, but he'd have to make a trip to New York.

Jefferson watched Hamilton pluck at the cello strings absentmindedly. "I know the perfect song we can play, it'll be a nice change." If Jefferson was honest, he would say that the Impossible Duet depressed him, it didn't bring back any happy memories of him and Hamilton playing it, just the ones where he was smashing mirrors and throwing alcohol bottles when he first lost his memory and couldn't think of anything else. It had haunted his every step, made him lose sleep, and not to mention his close call, if Madison hadn't been there. He shuddered slightly, no, he had no good memories of that song, it's was why he burned his violin, he was hoping it would make it shut up since playing it hadn't worked.

"What is it?"

"It's called Shape of My Heart, ever heard of it?"

"Yeah, actually, it's the second song I learned, right after the Impossible Duet."

"Same for me. It's a piece for two cellos."

"Another song that I've only ever played half of, it's perfect," Hamilton smiled.

Jefferson returned his smile and opened his own case, pulling his cello out and rosining up the bow. His cello didn't get nearly enough love, but at least he kept it polished and in good condition, no way was he going to let it fall into disrepair.

Jefferson settled onto the couch next to Hamilton and they both began to play. The music was soft and slow and filled the room completely. Jefferson and Hamilton immediately melted into the melody, they could almost feel the Impossible Duet's notes float into the air and begin to burn, the flames licking softly at the pages until they disappeared, floating out of the open window into the night air. It scared Hamilton at first but as the song came to a close he realized he felt something much different.

Jefferson and Hamilton felt free.

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Warnings: Fluff, grief, mourning, intense flirting like Jesus tone it down guys

[smkkbert]

Time for a story - Old demons

“You look about as tired as I feel,” Oliver said with a gentle smile playing on his lips.

He moved down from the couch and sat down on the floor in front of the soft cushions instead, his legs spread slightly, so Millie was lying between his calves. He put his hands around her short legs and pulled her closer against him. When he tickled her tummy, Millie giggled in response, kicking her little legs against his lower stomach. Her happy giggles soon turned into another yawn that made Oliver chuckle.

“You are so incredibly tired,” Oliver told Millie, putting his fingers around her feet and playing with them. “That is what happens when you don’t nap when you are supposed to.”

“Ga-ga-ga,” Millie babbled her gaze like she wanted to justify her restlessness this afternoon.

“The only reason you regret this is because you are tired no.”

“Ga-ga.”

“Yeah, daddy can look right through your sweet looks,” Oliver whispered. He leaned down and kissed his baby’s soft lips. “Don’t you worry, though. Daddy’s not mad. I know that naps suck sometimes. It’s just so much cooler to spend the day being awake and having fun with daddy and your siblings, right?”

Millie smiled before she grabbed her stuffed elephant, pulled it to her mouth and closed her lips around the plastic eye of the toy. She hummed contently before she released a sleepy sigh. When her eyes closed, Oliver tickled her tummy once more.

“Now is not the time to sleep,” he told her, earning him an unhappy whine. “Yeah, I know that you want to sleep now that Emmy and Tommy are playing with each other upstairs and William is doing his homework. Daddy can’t let you sleep now, though. If you sleep now, you won’t sleep tonight and you are going to terrorize everyone else and then mommy is going to be angry with daddy for letting you sleep this early. We don’t want mommy do be angry with Oliver. We really can’t have her being mad, can we?”

“Ga-ga-ga,” Millie just babbled out before sucking at the plastic eye again.

Oliver smiled, gently stroking his fingertips against Millie’s soft cheek. “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear that you can sleep now and then mommy and daddy are going to get up in the middle of the night to play with you when you are awake again, right?”

Millie giggled like she had understood exactly what her father had just said. She rubbed her face against the plush of the elephant and sighed sleepily once more. Then she sighed and looked at him, pressing the elephant to her cheek and leaning her face against it. Just when Oliver was about to comment on how she could look at him with her big, blue eyes forever and he still wouldn’t let her go to sleep now-

“Mommy’s home!” Tommy called from the stairs excitedly.

Oliver frowned, glancing at his watch. It was just four p.m. and Felicity’s last appointment was at six. She wasn’t going to be home before seven-thirty. She had crazy working hours currently, but when had work ever not been crazy? It was probably one of the downsides of the company’s success Felicity had made possible with all the effort she had put into the QI. There was always more work to take care of.

“Tommy, I think you confused mommy’s car with someone else’s,” Oliver replied loudly, lifted Millie into his arms and walked towards the front door where Tommy was already waiting with his nose almost pressed against the glass. “Buddy, mommy’s still at work. She is only coming back later today when-“

When Oliver saw Felicity approaching from the garage, he frowned and fell silent. Obviously it hadn’t been Tommy but Oliver himself who had confused something.

“Daddy, can I open?” Tommy asked, already reaching his hand out for the door handle.

Oliver nodded. “Sure.”

Tommy opened and immediately ran out towards his mother, throwing himself at her. Felicity caught him with a chuckle that sounded weirdly breathy and off. The smile on her lips didn’t reach her eyes and she looked so pale that Oliver was sure that if her face lost a little more color, he would be able to look right through her.

“Hi, Buddy,” Felicity whispered, carrying Tommy inside. She kissed his temple and pressed her nose against his dark hair to breathe him in for a moment, closing her eyes. Then she released the breath with a sigh and kissed his temple once more. “How was your day?”

“Emmy and I play,” Tommy replied, not exactly answering the question. “You come too?”

“Maybe later, okay?” Felicity asked, closing the door behind them. “Mommy has a little headache and wants to lie down.”

“Okay,” Tommy said sadly. “Maybe later?”

“Yes, maybe later,” Felicity promised and kissed his lips before he put him down on the floor. “Go and play with Emmy.”

While Tommy was already running back upstairs, Millie reached out her arms for her mother. She whined loudly when she didn’t get Felicity’s attention immediately. At the sound Felicity turned around with a low sigh and gave her daughter a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. She put a hand to Oliver’s bicep, kissing first Millie’s cheek and then Oliver’s lips. Then she rested her head against his shoulder with a sigh, snuggling up to him.

“Hey,” Oliver whisper and kissed the crown of Felicity’s head. “Are you okay?”

Felicity pulled back with an even wider smile, but it still failed to reach her eyes. “Yes, of course. I’m… I just have a headache and decided to cancel my last few appointments to catch a little rest. I’ll go lie down in bed, okay?”

Oliver nodded. “Sure. Do you want some tea?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Felicity smiled. She looked at Millie, who had her head rested against Oliver’s shoulder now, her eyes falling shut again and again while she was continuing to fight the sleep. Felicity stroked a hand over their daughter’s head, asking her, “Are you tired, too?”

“She didn’t want to nap today,” Oliver replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “She wants to sleep now, but then she’s only going to be awake in the middle of the night.”

Felicity nodded slowly, taking Millie from him. “Come here, Sweetie. You can join mommy in bed where we will cuddle.”

“I’ll bring you the tea as soon as it’s brewed,” Oliver said and kissed Felicity’s forehead, checking if she was running a fever only to find that her temperature seemed to be normal.

“Thanks,” Felicity whispered quietly, leaning her forehead against his lips for a moment

She tightened her hold on Millie, cradling the baby against her chest safely, before she turned around and headed upstairs. Oliver watched her closely, watched the slow movements as well as Felicity’s posture. Her shoulders were slumped and her head lowered. He hated seeing her like that.

“Felicity?” he asked in a whisper.

Felicity stood still and turned around to him. “Yes?”

“Are you sure it’s just a headache?”

Felicity nodded, putting on a forced smile. “Yes, sure. It’s just a headache. I’ll be fine tomorrow. I promise.”

She turned back around and continued to make her way upstairs. Oliver kept watching her until she was out of his sight. Pushing his hands into the pocket of his jeans, he strolled into the kitchen. He started to brew the tea for Felicity, trying to figure out what was going on with Felicity in the meantime.

She had been quite off lately, the last two weeks to be exact. He hadn’t missed that her smiles didn’t reach her eyes most of the times or that she was just generally quieter than usually. She was often tired and withdrawn into herself. It hadn’t only been today though he feared that her coming home to lie down at only four was probably a new low.

He knew that people could have a series of bad days with headaches or just feeling more exhausted that usual and wanted to catch their breath. He didn’t want to overreact and make a mountain out of molehill. Fact was that Felicity had a history of prenatal depression, though, and he just couldn’t imagine that it was just a weird coincidence this change had come at the same time as they had figured out that Felicity was pregnant again.

The news had hit both of them unexpected since they hadn’t planned on having another baby. Then it was so terribly soon like Millie was only six months old. At the beginning he had thought that Felicity just needed time to get used to the thought like he had needed time to get used to it, too. Oliver remembered very clearly that he had read that unplanned pregnancy was a contributory factor for prenatal depression, though, and the more time passed, the more worried he was.

So yes, Oliver didn’t want to overreact, but he also didn’t want to take it easy like there wasn’t the possibility of a serious issue. He had just a bad feeling like Felicity was struggling with an old enemy. They had gotten around the depression when she had been pregnant with Millie which had only made it an even more perfect ending to their family planning. The pregnancy with her had been supposed to erase the fear the pregnancy with Tommy had left. It had taken them a long time to decide if they wanted to give pregnancy another try after what they had been through with Tommy – first the pregnancy depression and then Felicity’s fall down the stairs that has almost caused Felicity and Tommy to lose their lives that one night. They hadn’t been sure if risking something like that happening again when they already had three perfectly happy and healthy children that could be affected by something going wrong was worth it.

Oliver put two mugs and the teapot on the tray, making a decision.

He and Felicity had decided to give pregnancy another chance after Tommy because they had known that they were strong enough to get through whatever would happen. They hadn’t actively made this decision again now. The pregnancy had just happened. That didn’t make it any less true, though. They were stronger than whatever could happen to them if they just faced their struggles together. That was why it was time to talk to Felicity.

The last time she had been depressive, neither of them had known what was going on until it had been way too late. Oliver had thought Felicity just needed time for herself and would come to him when she was ready, while Felicity herself had felt like she had hurt Oliver so bad already and she would only hurt him more if she was too close to him. This wasn’t going to happen to them this time. If Felicity was going to face another prenatal depression, he was going to be by her side and help her through it like she had helped him out of the dark places he had been in after the island.

Together they could do this. He had to believe that.

* * * * *

Felicity pushed her face closer to Millie’s naked tummy. The sun had left the warm in comfortable warmth and since Millie’s shirt had been full of stains of food, Felicity had taken it off. She breathed in the sweet scent of her baby and closed her eyes. When she released the air from her lungs with a sigh, she kissed her daughter’s soft skin and then snuggled her cheek to the baby’s stomach, listening to the quick but even beating of her heart.

She hated feeling like this, like someone had ripped something out of her chest and had left a deep emptiness there that Felicity just failed to fill. She had been feeling like this for the past two weeks, but she had tried to bite back that emptiness and wake her feelings back up. She had spent more time with the kids, hoping they could fill this emptiness within her. When that hadn’t worked, she had drowned herself in work, trying to be as productive as possible and actually leave the paperwork behind for a few days to work in the Applied Science Department because that was the best part about her job.

Nothing had helped. She still felt like something was missing from her life when really she should feel like she had gained something new. She and Oliver were having another baby. They got the chance to give the world one more child that would grow up loved and protected. Their lives would be even fuller than it already was. None of these thoughts reached Felicity in a way that could change anything about how she felt. She was just exhausted.

When there was a quiet knock at the door, Felicity sighed. “Come in.”

“Hey,” Oliver whispered, stepping inside of the room and closing the door behind him. “The tea is ready.”

“Thanks,” Felicity said quietly.

She hadn’t talked to Oliver about how she was feeling yet. She had told him that she just needed time to get used to the idea of another baby which she had firmly believed was the truth. The more time passed, the surer Felicity was that there was something more to it than just the unexpected surprise of having another baby so soon. And she was sure that Oliver had sensed that, too. He always sensed such things, just like she sensed it when the tables were turned and something was bothering him.

Felicity turned onto her back, holding Millie safely to her side, and looked at Oliver, who stood next to the bed and watched her carefully.

“I think we need to talk,” they said at the same time and both chuckled.

Felicity pulled Millie to her chest and robbed to Oliver’s side of the bed, making room for him to lie down on her side. Millie rolled off Felicity’s body, so she was lying between her parents. She played with her naked feet happily, making both her parents smile. When Felicity rested her hand on their baby’s tummy, feeling her steady heartbeat under the palm of her hand, Oliver’s fingers joined her there and laced through hers. Sighing, Felicity lifted her gaze to Oliver’s face.

“Where are Tommy and Emmy?”

“Still playing in her room,” Oliver replied. “I told William to keep an eye on them.”

“He is going to feel like we are only asking him to come here, so he can babysit.”

Oliver frowned slightly, shaking his head to wordlessly reassure her that William would never think that way of them. “He loves taking care of his siblings and he knows that he only needs to say a word and he can have time for himself. I reminded him of that as recently as yesterday.”

“Okay,” Felicity whispered, knowing that Oliver was probably right. William was always so happy when she asked him to hold Millie for a second or asked him to help Tommy putting on his shoes. He loved his siblings and he loved being the responsible big brother.

“Do you want to start?” Oliver asked her eventually, squeezing her fingers.

Felicity nodded slowly. “I feel exhausted and it’s not just the normal kind of exhausted after a busy day at work but like the really, really, really kind of exhausted that doesn’t go away easily.”

Oliver nodded slowly and waited for her to say something more. When Felicity just stayed silent, he said quietly, “I noticed that you are a little bit...”

“Off?” Felicity offered.

“Different,” Oliver said pointedly. He squeezed her fingers comfortingly once more. “I’m worried about you.”

“I know,” Felicity whispered back.

She had seen the worry in his eyes and she could still see it now. After what they had been through while she had been pregnant with Tommy, it was no surprise. They had never felt more apart than in those weeks when Felicity had been depressive without knowing it. She still felt a cold shiver running down her spine when she thought about how she had almost told him that maybe the best they could do was to get divorced. She hadn’t meant it and Oliver had known that. Yet she hated that memory.

“I… uhm…” Felicity frowned, trying to figure out how to say how she was feeling. “You know I kind of have trouble to get used to the idea of another baby and that is not because I don’t love this little cupcake that we are going to have already. I do. I don’t want you to think that I don’t or that-“

“Hey,” Oliver interrupted her with soft voice and Felicity fell silent, looking right in his deep blue eyes. “Don’t worry about that. I would just like to know if there is anything I can do for you to make you feel better?”

The right corner of Felicity’s word twitched slightly to a sad smile. She loved how Oliver always knew when something was wrong with her, gave her the time she might need to work through things herself first and then immediately offered his help when he felt he finally had the chance to reach her.

“I thought about this for a few days and I think there really is something that could help me,” Felicity said slowly, “but you probably won’t like it.”

Oliver reached out his free hand and played with some strands of Felicity’s hair, taking in her face intensely. He released a quiet sigh and pressed his lips together for a moment before he told her, “If it’s going to help you, no matter what it is, I will do it for you.”

“I want you to go back to QI and take my job there for a few months,” Felicity told him.

She could see the surprise in Oliver’s eyes. She had always loved her job. Since she had gotten back to work after Tommy’s birth, she had truly taken up in her work. Sure, the job had been terribly exhausting at times and there had been days that she had skipped work to stay in bed or spend the day with the kids instead. Overall she had always loved working at QI and using her knowledge and her ideas to make the company the successful factory of hope it used to be a long time ago before its reputation had suffered under the death of its CEO and the involvement of its owners in the Undertaking that had destroyed parts of the city. Her latest success in the project with Wayne Enterprise had been the perfect proof that she was taking the company into the right direction. Her work was coming to fruition and that made her very happy.

“I know this comes unexpected,” Felicity told him with a sigh, “but I have thought about it very carefully. I am so exhausted and tired all the time, so I don’t want to use the little energy I have to work. I want to spend them at home with our kids. I love my job, but I love our kids more, so if I have to temporarily give up on one of them, then it’s going to be the company.”

Oliver nodded slowly before he leaned closer over Millie’s head and kissed Felicity’s forehead. She closed her eyes with a sigh, focusing on the feeling of his lips against her skin. She sighed when Oliver parted his lips from her skin and rested his forehead against hers instead. His fingers tightened around hers on their daughter’s stomach.

“We will make this work,” he promised her in a whisper. “I’ll go back to QI for a couple of months until you are ready to come back.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Felicity asked, pulling back just enough to be able to look at Oliver. “I know you were relieved when we decided to turn the tables, so you could stay home with the kids and I started working.”

Oliver was quiet for a moment, considering his answer thoroughly before replied, “What’s important is that you are okay and if for that you have to step back from your position at the company for awhile, then we will make that happen. Of course I love being a stay-at-home dad, but back then we were just in that kind of situation where we could make a choice like that. You are not telling me that you just don’t want to work anymore and want me to get my butt up to work. You need a break, a well-deserved break. It doesn’t mean it has to be forever, right?”

“Right,” Felicity whispered, nodding her head. “Thank you.”

“There is no reason to thank me,” Oliver assured her with firm voice. “You made so many sacrifices for me. This one is nothing in comparison. Besides, I just need you to get better. That should be our priority right now.”

“I am sure I will be,” Felicity said, “with time.”

Oliver kissed her forehead once more, making her smile slightly. She was still exhausted, but she was relieved that she and Oliver had finally talked about this and had taken a step into the right direction that would hopefully help handling the situation. She loved how they had the kind of marriage where they could talk about everything and always worked through struggles together.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked eventually.

“Aren’t you already?” she asked back, earning her the slightest of a smile from Oliver. It didn’t last long or reach his eyes, though, so she added, “Just ask.”

“Do you think you are depressive again?”

Felicity sucked in a deep breath. She had expected this question because she had asked herself the same question those last days. It just seemed like a little bit too weird for coincidence that this feeling of tiredness and exhaustion had started right around the time they had found out she was pregnant. She knew that this tiredness and exhaustion wasn’t the normal kind. It was a heavy feeling that already lasted too long. All thinking hadn’t brought her to any certain result, though.

“I don’t know,” she whispered, shrugging her shoulders. “Maybe. I- I really don’t know.”

Oliver nodded slowly, stroking his fingertips over her cheekbone. “I think we should know if it is back, so we can figure out if we have to take more serious steps to make sure that you are going to feel better. Let’s antedate the appointment with Dr. Hampton and find out, okay?”

“Okay.” Felicity nodded, her hand tightening around Oliver’s fingers. “You’re coming with me?”

“Of course I am,” Oliver promised.

Sighing quietly, Felicity closed her eyes and rested her head against Millie’s. The little girl turned onto her side and framed her mother’s face with her tiny hands. Felicity smiled contently at her baby girl’s behavior. She loved how her children always knew what she needed.

“Felicity?” Oliver whispered.

“Hm?” Felicity asked, too tired to open her eyes.

“No matter what will happen, we are going to make it through this,” Oliver told her firmly. He kissed the crown of her head and added, “You are not alone in this because we have each other, so we are in this together.”

“Yeah,” she replied sleepily, releasing a tired sigh. Her fingers tightened around Oliver’s once more. “Together.”

Next updates: Wednesday and Saturday!

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