#i just strongly lean towards happy stuff nowadays

[al-kaysani]

hi! i kinda left fandom but came back bc of tog so i could find some good quynh content, and ended up sorely disappointed at how hard it is to find stuff. yours is one of my favorite blogs rn tho, so i was wondering if you by any chance had some recs for more pls? blogs, fic, hcs, art?

hello! i definitely feel the same - hopefully tog2 will give us more quynh background/screen time and we’ll all have more canon to elaborate on. in the meantime:

here are some blogs that i like who post a good amount of quynh & andy/quynh: @lesbianandromache , @afterlaughy , @nicolodigenovas , @ssungods , @justqueeerious , @themoonwheniamlost (if anyone has other blog recs please reply with them)

there’s also her tags on togsource and theoldguarddaily and the general andy x quynh and quynh x andy tags on tumblr for art! (you could also search [ the old guard quynh ] on tumblr but a lot of the posts on there aren’t about her)

and lastly i went through her tag on ao3 and picked out some that i really liked, so those are under the cut! (and if anyone has fic recs i am begging you to reply/send them to me)

Memories - trigger warning for drowning, death.

character study during her imprisonment, and it is sad, but it has a hopeful ending and i’m always a sucker for those.

Loveable, and Oh, my love, don’t forsake me - 

these are both by dani @afterlaughy which is why i’m grouping them up, but i love her writing! she balances the love and angst very well, andromaquynh fandom legend

raised from the darkest depths - this fic does discuss quynh’s trauma and recovery so be careful if you have to!

i like a good rescue fic! it also considers how lengthy and difficult quynh’s recovery would be pre any type of reunion, but it has a hopeful ending too.

let the water hold me down

this is sad and spooky and strange? but in a good way - i would do anything to set a mood like the author does here.

touch the threshold, it is ancient

it’s very heartwarming and very well written!

worship me not, love me until the end - light gore.

i know 5 + 1 fics have been done many times but this one is so good i really need to yell about it! historical accuracy!! the way they’ve made their mark in history!! a really interesting interpretation of that scene in the desert!! quynh in chapter two alone is one of the best things that i’ve ever read!! angst and humor and godliness with our immortal wives making it through it all :”) 

[darkenedreaper]

Mission: Avenge

Natasha Romanoff x reader, Tony Stark x reader, Avengers x reader.

Warnings: depression, bad thoughts.

I made a few changes that didn’t happen in the film because I can.

Part 2/?

After your daily nightly visit to her grave you headed back to what you called home now. The compound where you worked constantly trying to find a way. You walked down the path, head down, hands in pockets, hood up. As soon as you entered the compound you heard chatter of a female and male. You’d wished that it would be Tony explaining his newest invention to Nat, and Nat trying to tell him to shut up. The thought made you smile, but not so brightly. The voices were too different, one had a strong accent from Brooklyn and the other, England specifically London. Ah yes the happy couple, you had really lost an amount of respect for Steve after he had the nerve to plant tens of memorials for Steve. After how many arguments for how many years, and yet it was like he didn’t give Natasha a second thought. You quietly groaned and rolled your eyes to yourself as you approached the heat of the room, taking off your jacket, leaving you in a black t shirt that was drenched, due to your hoodie being far from waterproof. You had stood still as Steve stood up straight from where he was leaned over the counter conversing with Peggy. He gave a sweet smile and nodded towards you, as Peggy stood up and gave you one of the prettiest smiles, one that held an amount of sympathy and kindness. You nodded at the both of them and walked off back to your work space. You didn’t bother to hug anyone or even shake a hand anymore as you had resorted to no human contact unless it was Tony holding you close to his chest, patting your back. Or Natasha, her arms wrapped around your shoulders, her fingertips dragging through the ends of your hair whilst she comforted your head that was laid on her shoulder, tucked into her neck, your arms strongly wrapped around her waist. The hug that she would hold for a million years if you wanted her to. As you walked away, Peggy and Steve shared worried glances with each other.

You never really bothered to grab dinner or anything to eat anymore, just a bottle of water to stay focused. You had a hologram up, constantly pairing different calculations and all types of science stuff together. Which you had learned to understand over the past year. You rested your palms on your desk whilst you stare at the calculation loading from 25% and slowly rising. If it got to 100% it was a successful match for your plan. You back was hunched over and your chair was nowhere to be found, most likely tossed somewhere from frustration. 30%, 35%, 42%, 63%. ‘Error. Error. Error.’ The words had flashed for a couple of seconds before the male AI system only confirming it as ‘Download: Now marked as Attempt 528, Failed.’ After the AI had finished his sentence, you had hung your head down lowly, eyes shut and your breathing was a little slower than usual as you needed to breath in order to stay calm. You did your best not to yell a curse, to nearly rip out your hair, nearly swipe every paper off of your desk. You opened your eyes breath still shaking from the surprising shock of yet another failed attempt.

You sat back and down your eye was caught. It was a photo of you and Natasha, one that the team had begged to take after you came back together from an 8 month mission. In the photo you had the biggest of smiles, one that you couldn’t even copy nowadays. And Natasha. Beautiful Natasha had her hair curled perfectly as it managed to keep its shape. She had her right arm linked with your left. Your right arm was wrapped around her right side of the waist and her left hand was placed on your sternum. She had a breathtaking smile on her face, and you both looked at the camera, happy as ever together.

You were smiling to yourself thinking of that photo, looking at every detail before your smile died down once again. It was something no one else could understand. Her right hand. The hand you let slip from yours. The hand you desperately held on to while begging her to stay. Then you caught her lips. That smile she had drawn out for you telling you ‘it’s ok.’

Your eyes were sad but you would not let tears fall from them, not while Steve and Peggy were here. You put the photo down back in its place and looked up to see Peggy standing leaning against a bookcase. She had a dodger blue coloured dress with blue, short, high heels. Her hair was parted, she had kept it much like she had it back at the training centre. Her red lipstick was distinct from the blue colours she wore. And her eyes were sad watching you, she could relate, to a different level of what you were going through after her losing Steve to the plane crash. She understood what happened with Thanos, as Steve went through every detail with what happened, from her own death, (civil war), and the now. She came over to you, slowly approaching the empty seat that was opposite your desk. Your eyes were trained onto the papers you had, as you were extremely unwilling to make eye contact with her, not wanting to show off any emotion. But she could see right through them and read you, much like Natasha could. She could see the loneliness that took over the once happy you, the determined you. She could she the amount of grief and guilt you held. And so she watched you work. She watched you writing numbers down, transferring other work to your new plan. Mission Avenge: Attempt 529. She smiled to herself at your efforts before she looked at you and began to speak.

If you wanna be tagged let me know :)

@natasha-danvers @jumbojamba47 @fcbarcelona-and-marvel-4-life @sammys-world-of-imagination @ecruzsalaz @confusinggemini612

[therearemonstersinthedark]

Astronautical Book 1: Epilogue

Title is from “Things We Lost in the Fire” by Bastille

Epilogue: The Things We Lost in the Fire

[Meanwhile, on Terra: Early 2015]

"Hey Peter!"

Peter Parker looked up from his backpack to give Michelle a quick shushing gesture.

"What are you doing?" he whisper-shouted between his teeth, glancing around the empty store as though expecting someone to come bursting forth from one of the other aisles any moment. "You can't be that loud!"

"This place is empty," Michelle said, crossing her arms and giving a tin can in front of her a light kick as she passed, sending it rolling through the rubble and trash scattered across the floor. "No one's around to hear anything."

"You don't know that." Peter quickly zipped up his backpack and hefted it over his shoulder. The cans inside clanked together and dug little bruises into his spine and ribs. The worn straps cut into his shoulders and he shifted the bag around, trying to find a position that was almost tolerable. "This place is a red-zone, we shouldn't even be here."

"Whatever," she huffed, adjusting the bag across her own back. "Those maps are probably as outdated as the rest of this junk. Let's just get out of here. I think it's officially been picked clean. You know, figuratively."

"Sounds good." Peter followed as she lead the way towards the front of the little corner store and pharmacy, picking his way through the glass scattered across the doorway. Most of it had been tracked away or crushed underneath the boots of past looters, but the pieces that remained, dusty and dulled slightly by the passage of time, were still plenty sharp enough to slice through the worn soles of his Convers if he wasn't careful. "Did you find anything good?"

"You might say that," she said, pulling a little paper bag out from her jacket pocket. "Look what I found wedged in a corner between a desk and the wall. I dug it out from under a pile of trash that some mice were using as a nest."

Michelle handed the paper bag over to Peter. It was a sad, crumpled little thing. The edges were all bent, one corner eaten away, probably by the aforementioned mice, and rippled with water stains, but when he unrolled the top and peered inside, the contents made his heart skip with disbelief.

"No way!" he gasped, barely remembering to keep his voice down as he pulled one of several orange bottles out. The pills inside rattled while he rolled it over to read the lable. "You found real antibiotics? I can't believe it. Are they still good?"

"I think so," she said, taking the bottle and the bag back and shoving them into her pocket again. "They're past their expiration date on the label, but they're all still sealed, and antibiotics last like, a decade after expiration, right?"

"I think so..." Peter kept his eyes on the surroundings as they walked down the empty street. The only sounds were the rustling of leaves and trash in the light autumn breeze, and their voices echoing oddly against the empty streets. "We can check with Mr. Miller when we get back, he'll probably know, but that's a great find."

"I know." Michelle ducked her head, but the smile that tugged at her mouth and the corners of her eyes was enough to make Peter's heart flutter. "I told you it was worth coming here."

Definitely worth it, Peter thought. Michelle almost never smiled anymore.

"I guess," Peter admitted. "but we should still get back before anyone realizes we're not where we said we'd be."

"You worry too much." A fist knocked against his shoulder, so soft he barely felt it, but Peter still pretended to stumble as if from a mighty blow.

"Someone has to," Peter shrugged.

"I mean it." Michelle turned to look at him as she walked and her face was suddenly serious. "You work too hard. You're so thin you could hide behind a lamp post, and if the pools under your eyes get any bigger we're going to have to start calling you Robin."

"Robin?"

"Like the comics, Batman and Robin. I talked to the others. We had a vote. For the record, I voted to start calling you a raccoon and find you a nice box to live in beside the dumpster."

"Why couldn't I live in the dumpster?"

"Because we're using it."

"I'd rather be Batman."

"Batman would know when to take a break."

"As the bigger comic book nerd here, I strongly disagree."

"Shut up!" Michelle hissed, grabbing his sleeve.

"What? You started it."

"No, shut up. I think I heard something."

Peter froze and immediately began listening for anything out of the ordinary. At first, all he heard was the endless shuffling of dry leaves and decaying trash. Then he heard it, too. A distant hum that made his blood run cold.

"Oh, no," Peter breathed, freezing in his tracks. "Oh, crap. We gotta hide!"

At the end of the street sat an old bank, according to the bold lettering still bolted over the doorway. Peter and Michelle quickly scrambled through the broken windows and fled into the shadows of the interior.

"There! The counter!" Michelle grabbed Peter's sleeve and steered them behind the teller's counter. The thick glass that used to divide the bank workers from their patrons was fractured in several places, like some early rioters had tried to break through. Peter poked his head up behind one of these points, hoping the dirty, distorted glass would hide him from any passing glances. One hand reached for the wooden baseball bat that hung from his bag, slipping it free and twisting it anxiously in his grip.

Michelle was kneeling next to him, the whites of her eyes glinting bright in the light filtering in through the broken windows.

Outside, the humming was growing louder at an alarming speed. Peter held his breath as something huge and silver glided past the window. The alien on top of the scooter twisted its head around as it peered into the passing buildings. Those creepy yellow eyes met his and for a moment Peter could swear even his blood had frozen in fear. Then the eyes were passing on and the scooter rolled out of sight, it's unearthly hum fading now down the street.

"It's gone," Michelle breathed.

"That was way too close." Peter's fingers were still trembling where they gripped onto the counter. "Let's get out of here before it comes back."

-x-

After giving some time for the humming to fade away, Michelle and Peter made a run for the chain-link fence that marked the edge of the red-zone. No words were exchanged until long after they had slipped under the hole Michelle had discovered on her last run and the sight of the small town had been swallowed up by the thin forest on the other side.

The dingy old sedan was right where they'd left it, parked behind some bushes just off the main road. Peter threw his bag through the back window that didn't work anymore and slipped into the driver's seat while Michelle ripped the branches off the hood that they had left there for camouflage.

"We're good," she said as she took her place in the passenger's seat, her bag held on her lap.

Peter turned the key and the engine came to life with a reluctant whine. "You should put on your seatbelt," he said for the thousandth time, but he was too shaken to sit here and have the usual argument with her, so he hit the gas and they tore off down the street anyways.

-x-

Michelle was curled up in her seat, the bag hugged against her stomach and her head leaning against the dusty window, still not wearing her seat belt when they pulled into view of the camp a very long hour later.

"So what's your plan to explain all the stuff we found?" Peter asked, glancing at his bag in the back seat. "There's no way Mr. Miller is going to believe we got all of this from where we were supposed to be going. It's all been picked clean by now."

Mr. Miller had been one of the teachers at Peter's school, and was one of the very few adults in their camp, alongside Mr. Engler, their bus driver who had lost his leg in a crash during the initial blast, and Mrs. Twohey, a history teacher that Peter had only ever known in passing before all of this. She had already been well on her way to retirement before things fell apart. Some retirement.

"It's Thursday, right? Ned's in charge of inventory today. We can sneak in the back way and have him add it in quietly. Mr. Miller never even has to know."

"Wait, it's Thursday?" Peter asked, pulling up to one of the makeshift gates and flickering the headlights in a pattern he would probably have memorized for the rest of his life. "Are you sure?"

"Yep." Michelle dug around in her bag for a moment and pulled out something Peter hadn't seen in so long he nearly did a double take. "Happy birthday idiot," she said, handing over the Hostess Twinkie to a very speechless Peter. "Now stop gaping and hurry up, they're not going to hold the gates open forever."

"Oh!" Peter hit the gas a little to hard and the car lurched gracelessly forward through the open gateway.

"Just park behind the inventory, it'll be easier to sneak in that way," Michelle instructed. "So now that you're fourteen, what are your plans?"

"Oh you know, early retirement, enjoy the golden years. Fourteen's a pretty good age nowadays I hear. Maybe grow a mustache, that's all the rage."

Michelle burst into a laugh and smiled for the second time that day. "A mustache? You? I'm pretty sure I'll grow a mustache before you do."

"Do you... have plans to grow a mustache?" Peter asked through his own grin as he pulled to car to a shuddering halt behind a sturdy cabin. "Are you going to grow a beard to go with it?"

"I might. Why? You jealous?"

"Totally."

Michelle rolled here eyes with a small but definite smile and slipped from the car, shutting the door quietly behind herself. After taking a moment to check the surrounding area, she snuck up to the nearest window. "Ned!" she hissed, tapping on the glass. "Open up!"

End

[queenieships]

Questions 1-14 for the most recent one your reblogged!

Thank you for asking! Sorry it took a while lmao I got super lazy and distracted with it. Gonna put some of it under a readmore because it got particularly long!

1. When did youstart self shipping and why?

I mean I officiallystarted this blog I think… middle of last year? I can’t quiteremember the date off the top of my head but it’s been a while.However, I’ve been selfshipping for a very long time, justmentally! I kind of did that whole “Creating Ocs to ship withcharacters I liked and oh no those Ocs definitely aren’t based onme at all aha nope…”

2. How long have youbeen self shipping?

I think I’ve beenself shipping from a very young age! I remember being in primaryschool and being absolutely in love with Tasuki from Fushigi Yuugiand Axel from Kingdom Hearts (had a thing for red heads and fireapparently?) I genuinely must’ve been as young as 8, give or take ayear or two, so I’ve been self shipping and self inserting most ofmy life! 

3. Why do you selfship now?

I mean… it’sfun! And I mean, I fall in love with fictional characters withouteven meaning to. I just become very attached to them to the point Ican’t help but imagine myself with them! It’s also been a thingI’ve done for a very long time, a hobby, a habit, a copingmechanism – as a very creative but also very lonely child I thinkit was a huge way for me to feel like I was getting GOOD attentionfor once. I guess that’s kind of extended to adulthood. In ways aswell it helps me deal with some unhealthy situations I’ve had inthe past and it’s a way for me to explore and take interest intoxic and unhealthy ships in a safe and fictional environment. It’shelped me a lot improving with my art and honestly I officiallyjoined the self ship community because I was very lonely and had…NO FRIENDS.

4. Which of yourself insert characters is the most developed?

Probably myborderlands insert or my Newsies insert! I haven’t been toomassively focused on any other ship to develop my insert in thatuniverse very much and SOME of the universes I self insert in arequite difficult and elaborate when it comes to making characters forit (like in HxH)

5. Are your selfinsert characters 100% you or are they an exaggerated version ofyourself/leaning toward an OC?

I think it dependson the universe. Though I would say they’re exaggerated examples ofmyself, ideal versions or particularly troubled versions – All ofmy self insert characters look like me and have the same name and toa degree share my interests and talents – though I’ve also giventhem talents that I admire and really wish I had (such as singing,baking and sewing.)

6. If your selfinserts are closer to OCs what are some similarities they have withyou? What are some differences?

Lmao whoops guess Ikind of explained this in the one above? I guess something I like todo is depending on the universe I self ship in, I kind of pick a partof my personality that is a focus of that character. (For example, myNewsies insert is mostly centred around my social beliefs, mydepression and toxic relationship with my family and to a degree myfeeling of superiority. I’m actually very working class but you’llnotice most of my inserts are either very well off OR from thenicest, cleanest place in that universe they can be from – mynewsies insert is from a very wealthy family and my borderlandsinsert is from Helios.)

7. Do you have a‘type’ when it comes to f/os?

Yes but my type haschanged and shifted over time. There are definitely things I likethat kind of resonate throughout all of my F/Os. For example, almostall of my F/Os are confident to a fault. Most of them are also verymasculine, with a few exceptions. A character type I LOVE is therough delinquent with a heart of gold! (Seen in characters likeMondo, Metal Bat and Knuckle.) I also like perverted characters orones that show a lot of interest in women during the show/gamethey’re in (Examples being Scooter, Lance and Leorio.) I also seemto like people who have manual labour jobs or jobs that require themto be quite strong and get quite dirty and occassionaly kinda bruisedup (Examples being Scooter, Metal Bat, Scout, Hunk and Ellis who isnot yet on my F/O list but will be soon! A character I used to selfship with is Little Mac because I loved the idea of seeing him allsweaty and bruised up after a figh aha,,,)

8. Your top 3 OTPsamong your own selfships?

1. Me and Scooter!He is the problematic love of my life.

2. Me and Davey –although my focus has shifted dramatically from Davey to Scooter Istill definitely love this boy a lot

3. THIS IS SUCH ADIFFICULT PICK because honestly Scooter and Davey are and almostalways will be my top 2 BUT– my level of interest in my other F/Osshifts around so much? I’m even considering adding new F/Os thatI’ve become interested in recently, like… Mondo and Scout are thecharacters on the list I’ve shipped with for the longest but… Ithink maybe Leorio? I’ve always thought of Leorio and I as a reallygood couple, we’re so physically different and our personalitiesare such a good mix of getting along and clashing and I just!! idk Ithink number 3 is Leorio!!

9. Your top 5 OTPsamong others in the community?

@smoochesforseven and everyone she ships with. I love Moon so much and all of her shipsare wonderful though there is a soft spot for her and Newt!!

@better-than-nothin-kay and Rhys! We’ve spoken so much about borderlands and about her shipand honestly I love the female bodyguard dynamic it’s really cuteand they would physically look so good together!

@millizines andEarnest – I think this is like, the most undisputed OTP in thecommunity. I have never seen someone be so dedicated to their F/O andthey’re so genuinely in love with one another and have such aunique relationship!!

@momomochaccino andSandy (and spongebob!) – Seeing Momo so happy recently has beenamazing and witnessing what a positive impact the spongebob musicaland show has been for her is amazing!!

@peachie-doodles andLeonardo! Honestly seeing TMNT stuff on my dash makes me SO HAPPY andLeonardo has always been the one turtle I never really felt aconnection with BUT seeing someone so in love with him andappreciating him makes me really happy and makes me appreciate himmore as well! (also after speaking with her I realised that, althoughRaphael usually draws my attention because he’s big n buff andrough and tough but a total softy which FITS MY TYPE — Mikey isactually… my fucking boy?? I went around ready some fics andwatching some clips and like, damn. I really love Michaelangelo nowlmao, considering adding him as an F/O!!)

10. Has a roleplayblog for one of your f/os every interacted with you?

Lmao no. Honestly Iwould sob if that ever happened to me and I’ve seen other peoplegetting RP anons regularly in their asks and honestly I… reallywant it aha? I used to RP self ship stuff with a friend, where Iwould write as myself and the character she shipped with, and shewould play herself and the character I shipped with and!! it was!!great!! I would die to find something like that again.

11. Are you anartist or a writer in the community? Or do you do something elseentirely?

Um, both I guess! Iby no means think I’m a good artist but self shipping has reallyhelped me improve in a lot of areas. I highkey hate my style and atsome point I want to dedicate some time into developing it intosomething I can actually enjoy looking at. As for my writing, I’vealways been a talented writer – especially a few years ago. I waswriting frequently and everything I wrote was lowkey incredible.Nowadays, my writing is so few and far between and I am so stronglyout of practice it hurts and I feel almost embarrassed readingthrough any new fic I write. I’m hoping with time I can build myskills and confidence back up again!

12. Name a few ofyour favorite things about self shipping.

Honestly, myfavourite thing about self shipping is that I can feel like I havecompany regardless of how alone I actually am. Countless days spentby myself in my room and during lunchtimes back when I was at schoolcould be spent daydreaming about being loved and having adventureswith characters I enjoy! I always daydream a lot before I fallasleep, usually about cuddling up and spending the evening with oneof my F/Os before I fall alseep. Honestly without selfshipping Idon’t know what I’d do with my time. It’s such a huge thingthat fills up my day to day life and makes me happy, I genuinelydon’t think I’d still be here without it. 

13. Talk about apositive experience you’ve had with the community.

Honestly this iskind of hard for me lmao? I wouldn’t say I’ve had many hugelypositive or many hugely negative experiences overall. There arepeople I’ve found I get along with, there are some people that rubme the wrong way, there are some people I just haven’t spoken to! Ihaven’t really received any hate apart from someone being a dickabout my aesthetic commissions but I don’t really receive theattention I would like to either (is that bratty and selfish?Probably! But at least I’m honest about it lmao.) 

14. Finally, talkabout a few of your favorite self shippers!! (Honestly, talk about asmany as you would like!)

I don’t reallylike doing this because I’m afraid I’ll miss someone off andthey’ll feel sad about it or something BUT HERE’S A LIST OF PEEPSI SPEAK TO OFTEN AND CARE ABOUT AND TREASURE (note just becauseyou’re not on this list it doesn’t mean I don’t like you ordon’t enjoy your content! Just means this people I am particularlyclose with.)

@smoochesforseven

@better-than-nothin-kay

@millizines

@ckselfinsert

@limey-blue-arty-do

@momomochaccino

[darkenedreaper]

Mission: Avenge

Natasha Romanoff x reader, Tony Stark x reader, Avengers x reader.

Warnings: depression, bad thoughts.

I made a few changes that didn’t happen in the film because I can.

Part 2/?

After your daily nightly visit to her grave you headed back to what you called home now. The compound where you worked constantly trying to find a way. You walked down the path, head down, hands in pockets, hood up. As soon as you entered the compound you heard chatter of a female and male. You’d wished that it would be Tony explaining his newest invention to Nat, and Nat trying to tell him to shut up. The thought made you smile, but not so brightly. The voices were too different, one had a strong accent from Brooklyn and the other, England specifically London. Ah yes the happy couple, you had really lost an amount of respect for Steve after he had the nerve to plant tens of memorials for Steve. After how many arguments for how many years, and yet it was like he didn’t give Natasha a second thought. You quietly groaned and rolled your eyes to yourself as you approached the heat of the room, taking off your jacket, leaving you in a black t shirt that was drenched, due to your hoodie being far from waterproof. You had stood still as Steve stood up straight from where he was leaned over the counter conversing with Peggy. He gave a sweet smile and nodded towards you, as Peggy stood up and gave you one of the prettiest smiles, one that held an amount of sympathy and kindness. You nodded at the both of them and walked off back to your work space. You didn’t bother to hug anyone or even shake a hand anymore as you had resorted to no human contact unless it was Tony holding you close to his chest, patting your back. Or Natasha, her arms wrapped around your shoulders, her fingertips dragging through the ends of your hair whilst she comforted your head that was laid on her shoulder, tucked into her neck, your arms strongly wrapped around her waist. The hug that she would hold for a million years if you wanted her to. As you walked away, Peggy and Steve shared worried glances with each other.

You never really bothered to grab dinner or anything to eat anymore, just a bottle of water to stay focused. You had a hologram up, constantly pairing different calculations and all types of science stuff together. Which you had learned to understand over the past year. You rested your palms on your desk whilst you stare at the calculation loading from 25% and slowly rising. If it got to 100% it was a successful match for your plan. You back was hunched over and your chair was nowhere to be found, most likely tossed somewhere from frustration. 30%, 35%, 42%, 63%. ‘Error. Error. Error.’

The words had flashed for a couple of seconds before the male AI system only confirming it as ‘Download: Now marked as Attempt 528, Failed.’

After the AI had finished his sentence, you had hung your head down lowly, eyes shut and your breathing was a little slower than usual as you needed to breath in order to stay calm. You did your best not to yell a curse, to nearly rip out your hair, nearly swipe every paper off of your desk. You opened your eyes breath still shaking from the surprising shock of yet another failed attempt.

You sat back and down your eye was caught. It was a photo of you and Natasha, one that the team had begged to take after you came back together from an 8 month mission. In the photo you had the biggest of smiles, one that you couldn’t even copy nowadays. And Natasha. Beautiful Natasha had her hair curled perfectly as it managed to keep its shape. She had her right arm linked with your left. Your right arm was wrapped around her right side of the waist and her left hand was placed on your sternum. She had a breathtaking smile on her face, and you both looked at the camera, happy as ever together.

You were smiling to yourself thinking of that photo, looking at every detail before your smile died down once again. It was something no one else could understand. Her right hand. The hand you let slip from yours. The hand you desperately held on to while begging her to stay. Then you caught her lips. That smile she had drawn out for you telling you ‘it’s ok.’

Your eyes were sad but you would not let tears fall from them, not while Steve and Peggy were here. You put the photo down back in its place and looked up to see Peggy standing leaning against a bookcase. She had a dodger blue coloured dress with blue, short, high heels. Her hair was parted, she had kept it much like she had it back at the training centre. Her red lipstick was distinct from the blue colours she wore. And her eyes were sad watching you, she could relate, to a different level of what you were going through after her losing Steve to the plane crash. She understood what happened with Thanos, as Steve went through every detail with what happened, from her own death, (civil war), and the now.

She came over to you, slowly approaching the empty seat that was opposite your desk. Your eyes were trained onto the papers you had, as you were extremely unwilling to make eye contact with her, not wanting to show off any emotion. But she could see right through them and read you, much like Natasha could. She could see the loneliness that took over the once happy you, the determined you. She could she the amount of grief and guilt you held. And so she watched you work. She watched you writing numbers down, trnasferring other work to your new plan.

Mission Avenge: Attempt 529

She smiled to herself at your efforts before she looked at you and began to speak.