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mercy-burning · 4 years ago

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Move This Along

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After months of waiting, Spencer decides he finally wants to have sex with Reader. Category: SMUT (18+) Warnings: Language, sex (oral sex- female receiving, virgin!Spence, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie) Word Count: 5.6k

Full Request: “...so a smutty oneshot with like virgin!spencer but im talkling like baby spence. and hes super blushy and cute but then when it happens its rlly raunchy and therws a lot of dirty talk. and like reader doesnt work at the bau but theyre close friends. and like she goes out to a bar with him and the team and they tease him so then she takes him home and literally fucks him after a movie or smth idk...” — @mggscumrag

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to do this, but once I did, it came out so quickly! I hope it’s to your liking 🥰

***

The first time she went out to meet Elle's friends from work, Y/N found herself absolutely nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was always great with meeting new people, but for some reason, the prospect of meeting her next-door neighbor's co-workers seemed to really do a number on her.

She remembers how anxious she'd been, constantly worrying that they wouldn't like her, not to mention they were all probably super smart and strong and intimidating, just like Elle. Anyone who aided in putting away serial killers, rapists, and other monsters had to be just about the most intimidating personality there ever was.

But as Y/N soon learned, that wasn't quite the case at all.

To be fair, they were all intimidating in their own little ways, though it was really easy to forget about that when she was laughing with them, sharing drinks and stories, and exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.

That's how she and Spencer had come to be good friends. Despite how obviously shy he was whenever they saw each other, the two of them managed to have conversations on just about everything. It usually happened that he talked and she listened to whatever he was teaching her, but she'd always add on the occasional, "Wow, I didn't know that," or "That's really fascinating." All of which she could tell he was surprised at and appreciated.

And since the first time they met at Elle's birthday party, the night she met the whole team for the first time, they'd been practically inseparable. While Y/N was good friends with the whole team, save for Gideon, who always seemed to like it better by himself, her relationship with Spencer seemed to even surpass the bond she'd built with her neighbor-slash-best friend.

Elle even told her as much one Saturday night, as the two of them were driving to the bar to meet up with everyone for a few drinks.

She'd mentioned it as a joke, but Y/N was instantly apologetic.

Elle only laughed. "Don't apologize. Actually, I think it's good that Reid has another friend outside of work. You're good for him. And you know, I think he has a little crush on you."

Warmth rushed to Y/N's cheeks, and she tried to hide it but failed miserably, causing Elle to give her a knowing smile. "Y—You don't know what you're talking about, Elle, it's not like that."

"Oh come on, it totally is. You give him the light of day when no one else does, he talks about you all the time, and everyone at work knows it."

She paused. "They... do?"

"Of course they do, we're all profilers, but it doesn't take one to see how obsessed that boy is with you. I think you should go for it."

Y/N would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about asking him out. But in the end she had always figured it was a little weird, being that she was friends with all his and Elle's co-workers and she'd kinda been adopted into their family of sorts. But hearing what her neighbor was saying... She started to think differently about it.

"You really think so?"

Elle nodded. "Absolutely."'

"Okay," she replied with an excited smile. "Maybe I will, then."

A week later and the two of them started dating. Y/N always thinks back to the first few weeks of their relationship, how adorably shy and blush-prone Spencer was, even after they'd been together for some time. They spent almost all their free time together, and it still seemed like he was nervous to be around her. He'd assured her on multiple occasions that that wasn't the case, but Y/N still wondered why he hadn't fully warmed up to being around her.

Especially in public. Oh, in public it was worse. Y/N clung to his arm, and his face immediately got red. What confused her the most, though, was that every time she pulled away to make him more comfortable, he pulled her back in, seemingly desperate to feel her warmth.

In the end she and Spencer had grown to develop their own little communication system for public settings, something to let the other know when something was really wrong, and when to ask if the other was comfortable.

One night everyone was meeting after a rough case somewhere in Denver, and Y/N offered to buy everyone drinks once Spencer had called to tell her they were all back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to do that, but it had been a while, so everyone was quick to except. Well, mostly everyone— Gideon as per usual went his separate way, and Hotch was eager to get home and see his family.

Y/N was waiting for them at their favorite bar downtown when she heard a loud squeal that sounded a lot like her name. Sure enough, it was easy to spot a very yellow-clad Penelope Garcia headed straight towards her with her arms stretched out for a hug when she turned around. The smile she adorned was instantaneous as her arms came out a well, embracing Penelope with a large hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, still hugging Y/N and swaying them back and forth a little. "I mean, I know I don't ever travel with the team, but because of that we should hang out more."

"Next time I need some company, I know who to call."

Y/N spotted Spencer then, behind Penelope and patiently waiting for a greeting. She smiled at him and whispered, "Hi," to which Penelope must have heard.

She quickly released her from their embrace and stepped out of the way. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your boy wonder."

She laughed as she transferred from Penelope's arms to Spencer's. He muttered a little, "Hi," into her hair as she squeezed him and shoved her face into his neck. If she had to bet, he was probably red as a tomato right now with how close her mouth was to his neck—it was his weakness and she knew it. And just to tease him a little bit she quickly kissed up his neck, his jaw, and placed a decent peck on his lips before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

Despite the shy smile and the blush adorning his cheeks, he squeezed her hand tight and kept her at his side like they would die if they weren't touching at all times.

Everyone gave little greetings to Y/N as they all made their way to a large booth near the back. Y/N was sitting on one side with Elle to her right and Spencer to her left, while Derek, Penelope, and JJ sat across from them. Y/N got them all their preferred drinks, and a beer for herself, which Spencer couldn't help but find oddly attractive.

He glanced over at her as she took swigs from the bottle as the night progressed, and for whatever reason the sight made his insides all warm and tingly. And when she used her unoccupied hand to grab his under the table, rubbing gentle circles over the inside of his palm with her thumb, he'd never felt more in love with another person. He wasn't even drinking any alcohol, yet his head swam and his heart soared all the same, every bone in his body humming with euphoria at just the mere thought of her.

He must have been staring a little too obviously, because Derek kicked his leg under the table, pulling him from the lovesick daydream he never wanted to leave.

"I can't tell if those are cute ol' puppy dog eyes or bedroom eyes," Derek laughed, and everyone laughed right alongside him.

"Oh, stop it," Penelope said, swatting his arm. "He's obviously just very in love with her, what more could you need to know?"

"Oh, come on, tell me you're not curious to know how they... operate."

She smacked him harder this time, and everyone laughed.

Knowing her boyfriend didn't really care for the spotlight, especially when it came to their relationship, Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand under the table in reassurance. She drew a question mark in his palm, their signal for, "Are you uncomfortable?" And he responded by drawing an "X" in her palm, their answer for, "No." She laced their fingers together then, and set her beer down.

"Morgan, our sex life isn't any of your business," she stated simply.

Spencer felt his stomach churn at the sentence, if only because said sex life was, as of late, non-existent.

He and Y/N had made out a lot, sure, but the one time they did try having sex, he made it about ten seconds being inside of her before he finished, and since then he'd been kind of embarrassed about it. They only ever made out since then, because before it ever got that far he stopped it, nervous that he'd disappoint her.

And now his non-existent sex life was the topic of conversation, and if anyone picked up on it, he would have felt worse about the whole thing.

So, he didn't stop himself from speaking. "But if you must know, it's great."

Y/N's hand tensed up in his, and she looked over at him, shock marinating in her eyes. To anyone else it would have looked like she was surprised he'd even bring it up, but he knew she was most likely more curious to know why he'd lied about it.

Their friends laughed regardless, Elle adding a curious and joking, "Care to elaborate?"

Ready to change the subject, Spencer shook his head. "Nope."

"Yeah, actually I think we're gonna head out early," Y/N added. Spencer was suddenly worried he'd made her upset, but she rubbed gentle circles into his hand that reassured him everything was okay.

He got out of the booth and Y/N followed, as their friends grumbled.

"Oh, come on, we didn't mean to embarrass you guys," Derek said.

"No, that's not it," Y/N said as she threw on a light jacket. "You just reminded me how much I'd like to operate with my boyfriend since I haven't seen him in a few days, so we're leaving. Have a good night."

Spencer felt searing heat rise to his cheeks as he turned around and ushered Y/N out the door, accompanied by low whistles and claps from their friends.

***

The two of them were sitting on the couch now, Y/N having just set down a couple classes of water.

"Sorry if you wanted to stay," she said quietly, playing with her thumbs. "You know we don't... actually have to operate if you don't want, obviously, I was just looking for something to say..."

"Oh, Y/N, I know. Don't worry about it. Really, I... I was the one who even brought it up, I should have just let you handle it."

She looked up at him with a small smile. "Why.. did you bring it up anyway?"

"Well, I... I guess I just felt embarrassed. And I know what we do together isn't any of their business, but I was just... I really was thinking about how much I love you, and when Morgan brought it up, I felt like I wasn't... living up? To your expectations? I don't..." He sighed, unsure how to properly articulate how he was feeling. "I don't know. I just thought about the last time we tried having sex, and I felt embarrassed about it, that's all."

"Oh, honey," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him and bringing her hand up to brush some of the hair from his face. "You know, you... don't have anything to prove, right? I know how much you love me, and you don't need to be having sex with me to show me, I hope you know that."

Still, he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I do," he choked out, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Y/N's tongue clicked, and she leaned into him, wrapping one of her arms around his neck and placing the other across his lap. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Don't you ever be sorry, unless you cheat on me. Then there will be something to be sorry about."

He laughed at her joke, turning his head to brush his nose against hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, giving him the lightest of kisses on the lips.

When she pulled away, he leaned in again, kissing her a little harder, and she gladly reciprocated. With every passing second, all of his worries started to melt away like the snow to her sunshine. Within every kiss was an emanation of outpouring love and comfort that warmed his soul and gave him the confidence to try something bold.

His hands threaded through her hair as he drew her in closer, and instinctively, she climbed over his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue. The sound of her sigh as she opened up to him and allowed him to fully explore her mouth with his made his stomach bubble and tense.

This would be about the time where he'd stop, telling Y/N that they should slow down, and she'd sweetly oblige and stay cuddled into his side as they drifted off to sleep.

But tonight he didn't want that.

Tonight he wanted more.

While one of his hands remained in her hair, gently massaging her scalp, the other snaked down to her lower back. He gently slid his fingers under the fabric of her shirt and pressed his palm flat against her, pulling her closer to him with a desperation that both shocked and excited her.

Deciding to test the waters, Y/N rolled her hips, feeling him jump slightly underneath her, followed by a whine that vibrated her mouth and sent a low hum of pressure through her stomach.

Still, she pulled away.

Well... She tried to.

When she pulled her face away from him, Spencer used the hand in her hair to bring her back, tilting his head in the other direction and continuing to kiss her with enough passion for the both of them. And it didn't help that the sound she made when he did it spurred him on. She whimpered loudly into his mouth, and the hand on her back involuntarily slid down to grab her ass.

"Hey," she managed to get out when he pulled away momentarily for air. "Hey, you don't... We don't have to really do this if you don't want. I—I don't want you to think that what happened earlier means we have to have sex."

"Y/N..." His hand gently kneaded her ass, and against her better judgement, she rolled her hips again, sighing out against his lips. "I don't want to put it off any longer... Really, I... I want to. I want to show you how much I love you."

She kissed him softly again, bringing both of her hands up to cradle his face. "You already do. Every day."

She was giving him an out, and Spencer appreciated it. But with the way his insides were practically melting away at her presence, he knew more than anything that this was what he wanted.

"I know," he said. "But if you don't mind, today I'd like to show you a little extra." And then he kissed her deeply again.

Her hands tightened on his face, right before they slid up and through his hair. She gently tugged at it, and he let out one of the most delicious sounds she'd ever heard. For future reference, she relished in that sound, in that feeling, and made a mental note to try it out some more when they got further along in their sexual path.

But tonight, she would let him call the shots. He was finally ready to try it again, and seeing how confident he grew in his touches and kisses when she submitted to him, it was the simplest decision.

So she remained on his lap until he made another move, encouraging him with whimpers and languid rolls of her hips against his. Her hands grew frenzied in his hair when he dipped his hand past the waistband of her jeans and underwear, sticking his fingers in only about a knuckle deep. The warmth of his hands against her bare skin sent shivers down her spine, which she let show by involuntarily grinding down on his lap.

Spencer groaned deeply more than whined this time, his grip on her hands gripping tighter to her backside. He forced himself to remove his mouth from hers long enough to breathe out, "Bedroom. Please."

As much as Y/N didn't want to get off of his lap, she knew that what waited for her in the bedroom would be worth the momentary loss of complete physical contact. So she peeled herself away from her boyfriend, grabbing him by the hand, and lead him to her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, he was on her again, caging her face between his large hands and capturing her lips in another heated kiss. They moved backwards until she hit her back against the door, and the second their movement stopped, Spencer used their standing position to press his full body weight into her, their legs tangling together.

Meanwhile, Y/N was trying to figure out where to put her hands. She wanted to brace them on his chest, but it was pressed tightly against hers. So they wandered over his back, but she couldn't decide whether to place them under his shirt or on his butt. Or maybe she wanted to grip his arms to feel the veins as they strained against his skin from holding her face. The possibilities were quite endless.

So endless that they were even surprising—Spencer noticed her wandering hands and promptly decided to place them where he wanted, which was apparently above her head. He removed his hands from her face and pinned her wrists to the door above her head, and she huffed a breath as he pulled away to speak.

"Is this okay? I wasn't too... too rough?"

The concern swimming in his lust-filled eyes drew a little whimper from her throat as she struggled to find the right words. But finally, she settled on, "That was so fucking hot..."

Relief flashed over his gaze right before he grinned. His fingers flexed against her wrists, and even though she couldn't see them, she could imagine how it looked. And it really was fucking hot.

Seeing the expression on her face, Spencer leaned forward again and kissed her one last time. Their lips moved together hungrily, dancing in perfect synchronization, the music being the frantic beating of their hearts.

And then he started to trail his kisses down her jaw and neck, keeping her hands firmly pinned to the door. Usually she was the one to explore his neck with her tongue and teeth, but this time he wanted to try it for himself. Mirroring what he'd felt her do to him hundreds of times over, he soaked in every single sound she made, from the little whimpers of pleasure to the soft, choked whispers of his name dancing over her lips. And when her hips canted forward, searching for any kind of friction, he decided to grant it to her.

As his kisses moved down along her collarbone, his hands gently slid down with him, over her arms and then down to the bottom of her shirt as he kneeled in front of her. He lifted the shirt slowly, each new inch of exposed skin being met with soft kisses until it reached her breasts. He reached up to palm them over her bra while he trailed his kisses downward again.

Even though she was wearing jeans, he pressed kisses to her legs anyway. She squirmed under his touch, and the feeling made his heart soar.

"Please, Spence," she huffed, bringing her hands down to lay overtop of his. She felt the tendons and veins in his hands as they squeezed her, and with everything she had, she tried not to beg him to use them in more interesting places. She wanted to let him take his time, to be a vessel for his exploration, but it was growing harder every second to be patient.

Thankfully he seemed to get what she was feeling, because his hands slid out from under her shirt and rested at her jeans. "Can I take these off?"

The fact that he even asked when she so clearly begged him to do it made her heart swell. "Please do," she chuckled, though it turned into a choked sigh when his fingers actually started undoing the button. And at the sound of her zipper going down, she could have come undone right there.

He pulled her jeans down slowly and helped her step out of them. And she thought maybe he'd take the next step and do the same with her underwear, but he opted to use his mouth instead.

With gentle kisses, he traced the hem of the fabric all the way to either side of her waist. And then he looked up at her with curious eyes and shifted his face, pressing his nose right up against where her clit would be. Her hands immediately went to his hair, but he grabbed her wrists again and laid them at her sides. "Do you want me to move this along?" His voice wasn't teasing as much as it was genuine curiosity.

Still, Y/N resisted the urge to tell him yes. "I—I want you to do whatever feels right. Tonight's... about you. What you want."

"Well, what I want is to make you feel good. So, again... Do you want me to move this along?"

Every time his lips moved, they brushed up against where she desperately wanted him. And it was killing her. So, she nodded vigorously. "Yes, please," she whispered.

And with that, Spencer released her hands and used his fingers to gently rub her over the fabric. The contact made her shiver visibly, and he took that as a good sign. So he wasted no more time and replaced his fingers with his tongue, fluttering his eyes closed at the taste of her. And he knew that once the thin fabric was gone it would be stronger, but even then he was thoroughly wrecked.

He kept lapping his tongue over her, feeling her panties get wetter with ever second, and he only finally removed them when she started grinding her hips closer to his face, desperate for more.

When he did finally bring his tongue to fully taste her for the first time, they both let out the filthiest sounds, months and months of build-up starting to come to a head. He tasted her like he would an ice cream cone, and for the first few moments his eyes remained closed, all his focus on this brand new sensation. But he wanted nothing more than to see her react to him. So he opened his eyes and continued his ministrations, pupils blowing wide at the sight of her above him.

She was panting, her mouth hung open and her tongue just barely peeking out over her bottom lip. Her eyes remained shut, though Spencer could tell she was struggling to open them. With a tentative flick of his tongue over her clit, he took notice of the little gasp she made, and he knew he'd found it. So he repeated his action, providing small kitten licks to her clit as she picked up her breathing and clenched her hands at her sides.

He picked up the pace then, taking note of every little thing that made her cry out or jump with pleasure until she was clutching his hair. He was sucking on her clit now, his middle finger gently sliding in and out of her when she spoke.

"Oh, fuck, keep doing that. I'm... I'm almost..."

He felt her tighten around his finger as she started careening off the edge, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face, because it had practically been haunting him, wondering what it would be like to see her come undone at his mercy.

To say it was better than he could have ever dreamed was a severe understatement.

Y/N's head leaned back against the door, her chin jutted out so he could see the beautiful contours of her chin and neck. He saw her throat contract as she moaned out his name, saw her chest heave as she struggled to catch her breath, and best of all, he felt her flutter around his finger and mouth. And if that was high inducing, he couldn't wait to feel wat it would be like to replace them with something else.

The mere thought had him trembling.

He pulled back when she huffed out an over-stimulated, "Okay, please, please stop, oh..."

Though it could just as easily have been a painful sentiment, the hungry, dazed look in her eye suggested otherwise.

Spencer stood up and brought his finger to his mouth, still caught up in her taste before she ripped his wrist away and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and moaning into his mouth.

Before he could get lost in it, though, she pulled away and nodded. "Okay. I think you're wearing too many clothes."

He tilted his head down in a little flush, and with the help of Y/N, his shirt peeled away from his body and joined her pants and underwear on the floor.

Y/N mirrored his actions, kissing gently down his jaw, neck, and then down his torso. Her hands wandered his bare back as she sunk to her knees. But when her hands moved to his belt, he stopped her.

"W—wait."

She peeled her hands away and looked up at him. "Are you okay? Do you want to slow down?"

He visibly swallowed, and she could read that look on his face that he got whenever he was embarrassed to tell her something. "N—no, I... I want... the opposite, actually."

"I don't follow..."

"Well, I know that... if you return the favor, I won't last very long, a—and I... I don't want to wait anymore."

Y/N smiled, standing again and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So you're saying you... want me to move this along?"

Spencer smiled at her recollection of his words. "Yes, please."

They travelled to the bed then, Y/N taking off her shirt and bra when they got there, and leaving her completely bare to him. She sat down and reached for his belt, looking up at him as he stood.

"I'm clean and on birth control, do you still want to use a condom? I have some in my table drawer."

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "As long as you're sure."

Y/N undid his belt quickly and threw it to the side, making work of his button and zipper with a smile. "Oh I'm so sure..."

The way she said it made his dick twitch, images running through his mind of how it would look seeing her filled and dripping with—

Her hand was palming him through his underwear now, and it was all he could think about. He had already been hard before, but now it was tilting on the precipice of painful pleasure. So he stopped her, taking a deep breath.

"Lay down?"

"However you want me," Y/N answered, positioning herself on the bed so she was leaning back, her head nicely laid out on the pillows.

Spencer swallowed and removed his underwear before climbing on the bed and kneeling over her. Her legs were already wide, feet flat on either side of him as he positioned himself and got ready.

She reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, a gentle smile on her face. "You ready?"

"Mhm," he answered with a curt nod, bringing himself forward to run the head of his dick through her wetness. They both sighed at the feeling, and Spencer knew he was in trouble.

It was finally happening, he was getting another chance to have sex with her, and if he didn't last long again, he was going to—

"I love you," Y/N said reassuringly, rubbing circles into the hand that rested on the inside of her thigh.

He looked into her eyes and saw that love radiating from them. It warmed his insides and gave him the confidence he needed to finally, slowly push into her as he whispered, "I love you, too."

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, he let out a large breath, leaning down to brace his arms on either side of her head. The pressure of her clenched around him was overwhelming in the best way possible, and he never wanted to move.

But he had to.

She stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses all over his face, and whispered, "I love you."

With those three words, Spencer had the courage to pull back and then forward again, testing the waters and more accurately, his limits. He picked up a slow pace that burned him from the inside out, every muscle and vein in his body on fire with the knowledge that he was finally, properly making love to the woman he was pretty sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

But he was holding back. Y/N could tell. He glided through her with ease, sure, but his eyes were squeezed shut like he was concentrating, like he was pacing himself and trying to hold on to this feeling.

She moved her hands down to his back and lightly ran her fingernails over the skin, feeling him tremble under her touch.

"You feel so good, Spence," she whispered. "So perfect for me..."

The words made his hips stutter just a little, and Y/N knew then what the hesitation was.

He wanted to go faster.

So she moved her fingers lower, cupping his ass and scratching featherlight circles into the skin as she moaned. "You like when I talk to you, baby? Does hearing my voice help you out?"

Spencer choked out a groan as he opened his eyes and saw how feral she looked. Her pupils were blown wide, her mouth was pouted cutely, and she smiled as soon as she saw him bite his lip.

"You wanna go faster?" she cooed, digging her fingernails a little harder into the flesh of his ass. "Hmm?"

"F—fuck, Y/N... I..."

"You fuck me however you need to, baby. Don't hold back. Just let it all out."

He groaned out then, his hips picking up speed. She felt the relief and the tension rolling off his body as he finally gave into his urges, and it was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

"That's it, baby... Don't stop... Give it to me, let me feel you..."

He leaned down and kissed her then, pumping into her harder and harder with every second. She moaned out against his mouth, swallowing all his breaths and grunts. Meanwhile her fingers gripped his ass harder, relishing in the feeling of his muscles as they aided in fucking her.

His mouth pulled away as he shoved his face into her neck, and she sighed. "You're doing so good, baby. Fuck... " His hips kept moving, and she clenched around him hard, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Sure enough, he groaned against her neck and canted his hips harder. Every thrust forward now was so deep he hit her g-spot, and the sensation made her sigh with a smile. "That's fucking right, baby... Just like that, don't stop, don't stop. You fe—el so... ohhh."

Her words lit this fire in him that was impossible to put out. His body was hers for the taking, and so he'd give her everything he had. Which is why he picked up the pace and fucked into her as hard as he could, dangerously close to finishing.

"Fuck, Spence, I'm gonna... —na..."

Y/n's moans turned into a quiet scream as she came, clenching tightly around his dick and digging her fingernails into his ass. Her eyes squeezed shut with the swirling patterns of fireworks exploding behind them, meanwhile he twitched inside of her and lost it at last. As she came down, she helped him hold himself there, deep inside her as his cum spilled over in warm increments. They both moaned out at the feeling, all their tension easing and dissipating.

By the end, all that was left between the both of them was a thin sheen of sweat and murmured promises of "I love you."

They could have fallen asleep right there. Y/N's hands slid up his backside, over his arms, and then to the back of his head, combing gently through his disheveled hair as he pressed loving kisses to the patch of skin where her neck met her collarbone. He was still inside her, unwilling to leave the warmth she provided, and she did nothing to object.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, opening her eyes.

Spencer tilted his head up to look at her, his heart once again swelling at the adoring look in her eyes. "I'm great."

She laughed, and he laughed with her. And they were silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"So, uh... What we just did is what we're counting as our real first time together, right? Like, the other time doesn't count?"

Y/N laughed again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "If you want to count this as our first time, then yes. I'd be more than happy to agree with you."

"Good. This was much better."

Even though she would never hold their first first time together against him, she was inclined to agree.

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#mercy 1k celebration #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 1

a/n: this is a mini-series that are based off of your asks and once i,,,,, finish,,,, my seijoh phase, i will also do this for the other schools but pls take these offerings in the meantime as i work on the next part of my manager!seijoh and the time traveler au

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon request:

Wow, your series of Seijoh managers is so cute.🥺👉👈 After starting to read, I can only think about Oikawa and y / n on a Saturday night seeing mean girls, painting nails, taking care of the skin and the another day Oiks rubbing the face of everyone who spends much more time with his dear businessman LMAOO Anyway, congratulations on your work 💕💕 seriously, I LOVE this series omg-

I MIGHT BE AN IWA AND KYO STAN BUT OIKS IS DEFINITELY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRETTIEST DUMPSTER IVE EVER SEEN

yep lets start the pilot

so basically, oikawa was being oikawa again

what might i mean, you ask

well, he was starting to work much harder than before since this was his last ever inter-high and his last ever chance on beating ushiwaka

even though they finally have the team assembled avengers assemble! with kyo back on the team, he still felt lacking and wanted to use every single free time to work on becoming better

yall fun fact about me, oikawa is actually my favorite character bc of how hard he works and the pain i have in that once scene during the karasuno match when he slammed into the tables and was struggling to get up bc of his knee----NO IM SOBBING AGAIN

iwa noticed him doing this again so he sent you out to drag him out and distract him from this

‘cmon oikawa-san-’

‘NO, Y/N-CHAN! I HAVE TO-’

‘no, the only thing you have to do is spend time with me bc i miss you and i want to have that movie you kept talking about’

bahahaha he is so whipped that a single ‘i miss you’ from you will literally make him break his back and bend for you

it was successful and you were in your room, your parents understanding oikawa and his antics since youve complained about it before, and he was sitting on your floor while looking through movies

‘y/n-chan, do you have no alien movies in here? or barbie?’

IN MY CONTENT, IT IS CANON THAT OIKAWA LOVES THE BARBIE MOVIES FITE ME

you laughed from your spot on your bed and shook your head

‘no, oikawa-san. natsu took all my barbie movies and i get scared of alien movies’

he pouted but continued to look until his eyes literally lit up

it was like god took a picture of him and you saw the flash

‘MEAN GIRLS! Y/N-CHAN I DIDNT KNOW YOU LIKED THIS TYPE OF MOVIE!’

he shrieked but you shrugged

‘meh. katsuki, natsu’s boyfriend, gave it to natsu as a joke but he gave it to me instead bc he cannot stand regina george’

you reasoned while picking out nail polish colors and looking through the ingredients of your face masks

‘WE’RE WATCHING THIS! PERIODT!’

omg hes so loud but i am too so we compatible

ugh i hate my logic

then later,

as the movie played, you were arguing with oikawa as he refused to wear the unicorn and wanted the panda one, which was your favorite

‘OIKAWA-SAN, I LIKE THIS ONE!’

‘Y/N-CHAN I LIKE IT MORE!’

you sucked in a sharp breath before relenting bc you wanted oikawa to be relaxed per request of your beloved senpai

‘fine. but i get to paint your nails’

he nodded eagerly and you handed him the packet, to which he simply stared at it

‘y/n-chan, can you,,,, put it on me?’

he sheepishly asked and you gave him a confused and bewildered look

‘oikawa-san, have you never put these on yourself?’

he shook his head, cheeks flushing and eyes focusing on the blue blanket

‘my sister always put it on for me. or iwa-chan’

‘IWA-?! wHAT-?!’

but you nodded anyways and he made you sit on his lap to put it on

‘um, oikawa-san, this position-’

he smiled at you, a gentle and real smile, not the ones for his fangirls

‘nuh uh, its fine, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you so he likes you right here’

he mumbled, blushing and wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer making you giggle and nod

‘okay. close your eyes then, oikawa-san’

he excitedly nodded, expecting a kiss from you but you flicked his forehead making his eyes fly open and wince at the pain

‘so perverted, oikawa-san. pervert-oikawa-san’

you scolded and he pouted

he said something but you didnt listen, instead placing the mask on his face and smoothing it out

his fringe was about to touch the wet material so you hastily grabbed a clip and held his hair up

he looked so cute that you couldnt help but reach over and snap a picture of him

‘ara ara gomen did y/n-chan just take a picture of oikawa-san?’

he teased but you shook your head

‘no. what are you talking about?’

he did the same thing to you and now you were both painting each other’s nails, ofc staying loyal to your school mint green and baby blue on the ring fingernail

lmao dont blast me for not being exact w the school colors but it looks mint green to me

he finished yours first and omg?? hes so??? good?? like what???

you were holding his large hands with your small fingers and his heart started thumping really fast at the simple touch

‘thank you,,,,, y/n-chan’

you looked up to him with large eyes, still unfamiliar with the softness of his voice

it was such a contrast compared to his usually loud and obnoxious, mocking tone

‘oikawa-san is not a really good captain since he burdens and bothers everyone but you always fix it all and keep everyone together. so, sorry for everything’

he mumbled and the eye holes from the mask let you see his sad eyes, genuinely sad about himself

you made the last paint stroke and capped the nail polish before leaning forwards, hands on his thigh so you could be closer

oikawa ofc freaked out because wow youre so much prettier up close and he doesnt?? deserve you??

your eyes blazed with anger and he stuttered your name but you cut him off

‘OIKAWA-SAN IS NOT USELESS. HE IS A REALLY GOOD CAPTAIN WHO LED HIS TEAM TO BATTLE THE ULTIMATE RIVAL AND EVEN THOUGH THEY LOST, THEY STILL WON IN MY EYES. YOU GOT KENTA-KUN TO COME BACK EVEN THOUGH HE DIDNT WANT TO BUT HE DID BC HE KNOWS HOW GOOD YOU ARE. HE WANTS TO PLAY ALONGSIDE A PLAYER WHO DESERVES TO BE ON THE COURT AND EVERYONE ELSE THINKS THE SAME THING. ME, Y/N, IS JUST A MANAGER WHO MIGHT NOT KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT VOLLEYBALL OR THE TECHNIQUES AND ALL THAT BUT I RECOGNIZE YOUR TALENT AND YOU WILL MAKE IT BIG SOMEDAY, OIKAWA-SAN! I PROMISE! AND WHEN YOU DO, I WILL SUPPORT YOU AND COME TO YOUR GAMES BC YOU ARE MY CAPTAIN AND I DONT REGRET EVER MEETING YOU. SO DONT APOLOGIZE AND SAY SORRY TO ME, INSTEAD TELL ME YOU ARE HAPPY TO BE IN THIS TEAM AND SAY YOU LOVE THE TEAM AND YOU LOVE VOLLEYBALL AND YOU LOVE-’

but he cut you off, placing a chaste kiss on your exposed nose

yall really thought it was the,,,, speaking function part of your face

nahnahnah that is only for the doggie

oop what

you stopped, flustered at the sudden action but oikawa smiled

‘i love you, y/n. i really love you so give me a chance, okay? i will wait, no matter how long it takes but,,,, let me catch up and for now, think about me, okay?’

BRUH HOW IS THAT RELEVANT TO HER LONG RANT LIKE WHAT---

you tilted your head to the side, confused

she is deadass naive like bls protect her

‘a chance for what? you want to catch up for what? youre already good, oikawa-san’

then he laughed

so much more different than the ones he let out in public

it was so,,,, beautiful

you found yourself grinning with him and he calmed down, brushing away the stray hairs that is in danger of getting stuck on your mask

‘come on, y/n-chan. lets go take this off’

he stood up and offered his hand which you took

after the moisturizing and final touch-ups for your skin, you finally settled on the blanket fort and dozed off, the movie still playing but you were too comfortable in oikawa’s arms that you didnt even notice the credits rolling

the next day, you didnt feel the need to mention it at all

but oikawa did and it was still truly an accident

iwa heard about him staying late again and you having to drag him out of there and he was hitting him and kicking him again

you were so used to this that you were just writing down your notes at the corner, oblivious to oikawa’s crying

finally, he had enough of it

‘SEE THIS IS WHY Y/N-CHAN DOESNT LET YOU SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HER! BECAUSE YOU ARE SO MEAN!’

um, sire what did you just say

that was completely taken out of context and everyone, omg, especially iwa and kyo just froze

‘what,,, did you just say?’

iwa asked in a dangerously low voice and you shrugged

‘you told me to distract him, iwa-san, so i did. he was happy and satisfied and thats all that matters, right?’

you shot them a smile and oiks had such a smug smile when iwa looked at him and he was about to hit him when kyo just came out of nowhere and YEETED the smile off of his face

oikawa screamed

just a wittle blurb about this bc i totally love this :( and he totally needs more love and some of my readers love oikawa and want oikawa manager content so here it is!!! feast on these crumbs!!!!

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sanababes · 4 years ago

Text

Requested by: ❄️ anon

Mafia!Jiu falls for a shy reader ♤

she first met you during a stagnant mission which took her a few minutes before killing someone off, as per stated in the contract she previously had

it was past midnight and you were sitting alone on a bench at the park nearby her location, she was about to go straight (gay) into the extraction point but she doubted the feeling of leaving you without making sure if you were alright or something since it's late at night already

girlie eventually walked up to you while nervously fiddling with her hands, that is very unlikely of her btw

"hey, penny for your thoughts?"

you flinched and almost fell of the bench due to not being aware of the pretty stranger's presence

"oh! sorry, i shouldn't have came up like that" she apologizes quickly before letting her gaze fall into your breathtaking look

Jiu felt the time stopped for a minute, she never met someone that surely caught her eye within these past few years of her being a notorious gang leader

"u-uh don't worry, it's nothing" you huffed

the latter just nodded and the two of you instantly fell into an awkward silence

thoughts like "ack! stranger!" and "oh shit, who you?" kept your mind busy from entertaining the woman beside you, i mean realistically, who would talk to strangers right?

but yeah, a simp for milfs like you sure do

you tried to show a strong facade as you began to converse with the fierce-looking stranger, this made Jiu's heart swoon over your cuteness because of the thin blush on your cheeks and how the moon perfectly illuminates a dimmed light to your face

you guys exchanged each other's names which took long enough, the reason is because the two of you are COWARDS

"so... what brings you here?" Jiu finally asked. "nothing special, i just wanted... some air?" you muttered softly

of course Jiu being a whipped girl as well, just nodded and played along with you

2000 years later... (pun intended)

"would you like to hang out sometime?"

this question really caught you off guard. it was rare for someone to even talk to you then now a gorgeous stranger/now acquaintance is asking you out? IN A FRIENDLY WAY OF COURSE

you contemplated for a second before replying with a whispered 'sure'. then she gave her number and you did vice versa

BOOM! a new friendship is made, which will soon blossom into a full on dating shit

okay, moving on-

the next morning came around and Jiu is still wide awake. she's been up for a long time and her thoughts really kept her sleepless. well you being the main reason of it-

i feel like she will come upon Sua and Siyeon then she'll try to freely say her problems out loud BUT SHE WOULDN'T BARE THEIR TEASING so it's a big no for her

girlie just decided to distract herself by hosting a meeting with her subordinates which went pretty well :)

-or maybe not?

Jiu was holding her phone the whole time, dwelling on how she would send you a text to hang out while the second-in-command discussed about their on-going business with one of their drug enterprise (pathetic, jk)

btw, her subordinates didn't even dared to bat an eye on her due to the harsh frown and agitated expression on her face lol

meanwhile, you're just chilling on your couch when a notification disrupts you from the movie that you're currently watching. grabbing your phone from the coffee table, you pressed the home button and saw a message from an unknown number

"hi"

you scoffed and almost blocked the whoever was trying to talk to you. then suddenly, a new message was sent from the same number

"it's Jiu by the way"

"oh..." you mumbled, utterly amused that she decided to text you first

well, her looks from last night gave you a feeling that she was someone tough, cold, and charismatic which is not true, she's just a soft baby

"hello, i'm glad you told me. you're a second away from almost getting your number blocked" you sent the message with a smile lingering on your face

"thank god, you didn't :p"

you rolled your eyes and immediately retorted back to the latter, "whatever"

the two of you started to converse virtually without any interruptions, well, maybe a few times from Jiu's side because of the meeting. nonetheless, she found you endearing at how timid you are which she can noticed by your messages

Jiu eventually made up her mind and settled herself by asking you out for a dinner

not making it a big deal, you agreed and arranged the time for you two can meet up. time went quick by then and you didn't it was already 7pm. you still have an hour to go but you decided to start dressing yourself up in a simple white button-up shirt and ripped jeans

when Jiu finally sent the address of a restaurant, you skimmed through the info and realized that it was an extremely luxurious joint. your eyebrows furrowed as you thought your meet up was just a 'normal' one, not something grand like how it usually is

you cursed under your breath and had no energy to change into a more formal outfit since you'll be running late if you tried to

on the other hand, Jiu was already at the said restaurant. she was anxious but excited at the same time, girlie doesn't even realize how obvious her body language is.

she also reserved a table in advance which she quickly did because of her wide 'connections'.

after what felt like eternity to the woman, you finally came in from the main door which made the chimes on the frame clang in an ambient sound. your eyes met and you began to blush furiously, 'ugh... why is she so beautiful?'

WANNA KNOW WHY? the woman in front of you is currently wearing a black fitted-dress that hugged her curves perfectly. the neckline of the clothing was plunging slightly which also made her skin show a lot, specially on her chest area.

anyways, YOU are looking RESPECTFULLY

"i'm glad you came," she said with a wide grin

you just nodded while smiling bashfully. she motioned you to seat across her which you obliged without any complaints.

"it's my treat tonight, okay?" Jiu proposed as she passes you the menu book

"but..."

this woman raised her eyebrows in a certain way which made you gulp and just gave up on retorting back, i mean, you would have been broke if you did payed for the food so-

throughout that dinner, Jiu would never leave her eyes from you if it wasn't necessary. she liked how you fiddle with your watch, she liked how your cheeks puff whenever you have a bite of food, she liked how you blush at little things she would tell about you, in summary, she knew she fell for you, HARD

but she pulls herself together, 'it's too fast, let's take it slow, Minji-ah. let's take it slow...'

Jiu mentally notes to herself that she would protect you at all cost, especially there's a lot of risk due to her being a mafia leader. and to the fact that she just met you last night :)

(a/n: YAAAAZZZ after forever, i finally finished an update for you guys 😙 im really sorry if i couldn't update for the past 2 months??? i think?? im just really busy with my classes and don't have the inspiration to write for the last few weeks. don't forget, i love you mates)

#dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher reactions #dreamcatcher headcanons #dreamcatcher #boca #jiu #insomia #kim minji #jiu reactions #jiu headcanons #sanababes.txt #kpop imagines #sua #siyeon #handong #yoohyeon #dami #gahyeon #dreamcatcher scenarios

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slashersteve · 4 years ago

Text

Some Kind of Disaster

pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader, Past!Billy Hargrove/Female Reader

summary: Reader and Steve have been together for a few weeks now, and she runs into a person she had a fling with once. That person was Billy Hargrove, and it’s the first Steve’s hearing of this.

warnings: swearing, Billy being a douche saying douchey things, Steve being cheeky and cute (is that even a warning), sexual themes and mentions

note: my good friend @dearneverlander gave me this idea in my time of need and assisted me in figuring out the asshole language, you’re a life saver, really. also if you’re a billy stan im sorry but i am not so he’s bad in this- also this is a no upside down au so the mall is still open

***

(y/n) was leaning against Steve’s car in Starcourt Mall’s parking lot, the window cracked open a little as the car shook. An older couple walked by when the car jerked and someone cursed. They looked at the car, then gave (y/n) an odd look.

“Hi, how are you all doing tonight?” (y/n) asked, crossing her arms, they didn’t reply and kept walking, she turned and called, “Steve, would you hurry up, we’re going to miss the movie!”

In the car, Steve was struggling to put on his jeans as he replied, “We can miss the previews, don’t worry!” (y/n) grumbled and leaned back on the car again.

“I don’t see why you have to change, I don’t mind being seen with you in your scoops uniform,” she stated, Steve scoffed.

“I mind,” he said, finally getting his pants on and buttoning it. He opened the car door now, she grabbed it and pulled it more open for him, revealing her boyfriend, hair an absolute mess. He leaned downward to put his shoes back on, then looked up at (y/n), who was just staring at him, he smirked and said, “Stop checking me out or we’re going to miss the movie.” (y/n) blinked and rolled her eyes as he got out, and locked and closed the door. He held his hand out for her to take. She took it, their fingers lacing together as they returned to the mall for their movie date.

At this time of night the mall was still quite packed with shoppers, they had to navigate through the crowd while still holding hands to make it to the theater. (y/n) had bought the tickets earlier in the day so they wouldn’t have to wait in the long line and just go in and pick their seats.

Because it was a late showing, and on a school night for those still in school, she was hoping it wasn’t so packed so they could get their back row seats and kiss a little without someone to her immediate left or something.

They were a few weeks into their relationship, so it was fairly new and she’d never been in an actual relationship before, hadn’t even thought about it until she started to talk to Steve, someone she liked to avoid in high school, because her closest friend Robin worked and they became friends. Of course, that meant they had to see each other often, and one thing led to another, and here they were, standing in line at the snack bar holding hands while he whispered about how he can’t wait to pretend to watch a movie when they’re actually going to make out.

God he made her so happy.

“Down boy,” (y/n) said as they approached the cashier, Steve stuck out his bottom lip then chuckled as he pulled out his wallet.

“It’s payday, get whatever you want, I’m buying,” he said smugly, (y/n) was going to decline and pay for it herself, but then he added, “Also you paid for the tickets so it’s only fair.”

They got a large drink to share, a medium popcorn, and some licorice. Steve grabbed the peanut M&M’s, setting them down on the counter and said, “I know you’re going to make me go buy you some in the middle of the movie.”

“You know me so well,” (y/n) said as he winked. They got their snacks, and started to walk towards the theater their movie was being shown in. Steve walked a little ahead in order to open the door for her, (y/n) was about to enter when someone got in her way, leaving the theater.

“Oh sorry-” she started to apologize but stopped when she saw it was Billy Hargrove. Instantly her face flushed, she hadn’t seen him since she quit her life guard job at the pool when she got the job at the GAP, it meant more hours, more money, and less sitting in the sun. Thinking of the time she spent with him there made her inwardly cringe, and the surprise then smug look in his eyes said he was reminded of it too.

“Are you going to move Hargrove or are you going to stand there like an idiot?” Steve deadpanned, letting go of the door, not wanting to hold it open for that guy. (y/n) took a step large step back, and Billy pushed the door open, glancing at Steve then at (y/n) incredibly amused.

“Well shit, are you two here together?” he asked, (y/n) put on a straight face and Steve didn’t hide the look of distaste on his features.

“None of your damn business, get out of the way,” Steve said, Billy licked his lips as he looked at (y/n), making Steve clench the drink in his hand tightly.

“You know I’m a better time than him, (y/n),” he smirked as her eyes widened, he reached out and almost touched her chin, to which Steve dropped the candy in his other hand, and instantly caught his arm, shoving it aggressively back down.

“Back off, Hargrove,” Steve growled, Billy chuckled.

“What are you going to do about it then Harrington?” he taunted, Steve’s face hardened angrily. (y/n) reached out and put her hand on Steve’s shoulder, saying, “Steve, come on, he’s just being an asshole per usual.” She glared at him, Billy clicked his tongue and she sucked in a breath in an attempt to keep her temper as ease.

Steve eased off when she did so, and nodded, (y/n) didn’t give Billy another look as she walked by him with head up high, Steve shoved Billy in the shoulder when he walked in.

The previews were still playing, and just as she suspected there was hardly anyone in here, scattered across the theater. They chose to see in one of the side seats in the corner, (y/n) by the wall and Steve by the aisle.

“I can’t fucking stand him,” Steve grumbled angrily as they sat down, “He doesn’t know when to to shut his damn mouth.” (y/n) chuckled nervously and nodded.

“I agree,” she replied, still feeling her heart beating out of her chest. Steve looked at her, and tilted his head curiously because he noticed how timid and overly annoyed (y/n) had become, plus she wouldn’t look at him, just staring blankly at the screen.

“Hey, did he really bother you because I can do something about it you know,” Steve said as he wrapped an arm around her, (y/n) leaned into him and replied, “Oh-no, well yeah- but uh-” She wasn’t sure what to say, not wanting to tell her boyfriend who happens to hate Billy like she did, if not more, that she hooked up with him not once, but twice during her time as a life guard. Once in the showers after hours, another in his car in that same week in front of her house. After that one week, they made out once or twice and she started, much to her dismay, like him. Of course, she found out he was hooking up with another life guard the same time as her, and she stopped seeing him. He said some stuff to her, ones that pissed her off for months. God she hated him, but not more than she hated herself for allowing herself to sleep with him two times.

Steve stared at her, clearly seeing her struggle to the find the words, it took Steve a moment to figure out why, and when he thought he did, he raised a brow and said, “What did he mean when he said that you knew he was better than me, which we know is a lie,” he added, (y/n) half-smiled at that because it was true, “Did you two used to date or something?” He said it in a joking tone.

(y/n)’s smile and eyes fell and so did Steve’s small grin.

“Oh...oh shit,” Steve said, blinking rapidly and looking down for a moment to take in this new information. (y/n) perked up and looked back at him, “We didn’t date, it was just- it was stupid and- it was before I even met you, well officially anyway! I haven’t talked to him since, oh god you’re gonna think differently of me-”

Steve shook his head, “No- why would I? I mean, I hate the guy, but I’m not going to judge you on your past uhhh relationships? I mean- it was Billy, which is-”

“Oh god you are judging me and I don’t blame you,” (y/n) almost cried, Steve shook his head once more.

“I’m not!” he said, perhaps a little too loudly because the group of teens sitting a few rows in front of them turned around, Steve cringed and turned back to (y/n) who had her hands in her hair, completely embarrassed, “Hey, you’re with me now, I don’t care who you were with in the past, even if it was Hargrove.”

(y/n) dropped her hands down to her lap, and let out a sigh, “That’s good to hear, just you need to know that it was nothing, and I absolutely can’t stand him too.”

“Then why did-”

“It was a dark time okay, it was so hot, I was probably dehydrated or something, I don’t know,” she was rambling now and Steve chuckled, leaning in to kiss her on the lips.

“I got it, we all make mistakes,” he teased, (y/n) smiled weakly and nodded, “Let’s just forget about it and watch the movie, or whatever scenes we can watch when we take a break from this.” He caught her lips in his again, making her melt in her seat. His kisses always managed to take her breath away. He leaned away slightly, and she nodded dreamily.

“Okay,” she replied.

Talking with Steve made her feel better because he was right, it was in the past and it wasn’t like she was talking with him. That was the first interaction she’s had since then with him, and ever since she started dating Steve it was like some kind of bad memory. Throughout the movie, or their make out sessions, she didn’t notice that Billy was sitting in the same row, arm wrapped around another girl who he managed to ignore half the night, glancing over at (y/n) and Steve to roll his eyes.

After the movie was over, Steve and (y/n) threw their trash away, and as they began to leave, walking past Billy and his date, (y/n) didn’t even look at him, her arm hooked with Steve’s as he suggested they see another movie since he didn’t want the night to be over.

“Well there’s still the backseat of your car,” (y/n) said suggestively, making Steve smirk and begin to walk faster.

That bothered him, a lot. He left his date, stalking after the both of them.

(y/n) and Steve didn’t even know, not until he spoke, “You like having my sloppy seconds Harrington?”

His words hit (y/n) instantly, Steve took a moment to fathom what he just said, and they both turned around, Billy tucked his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and said, “I promise she won’t moan your name like she did mine.” His eyes flickered to (y/n)’s, “Isn’t that right princess? Where was it, the shower, then my car- that was my favorite-”

“What the fuck do you want Billy?” (y/n) snapped before Steve could, Billy grinned widely.

“Oh you know what I want-” Billy bit his lip, and (y/n)’s fists clenched, “Come on, you know you want me again. Why are you with pretty boy Harrington when you had me?”

“Fuck you!”

“You already did. Twice.”

At that point, (y/n) was fuming and Steve was about ready to attack Billy in the middle of this hallway in the theater, but to his surprise (y/n) had slapped him. His head turned to the side, the slap echoing down the hall and others standing in the snack line's heads turned to see what just happened.

Billy’s turned his head back to look at her, “Always the feisty one.”

Steve had enough, going between her and Billy, “Enough Hargrove, she doesn’t fucking like you so how about you go cry about it somewhere else in private.” Billy chuckled.

“Oh she liked a whole lot of me, Harrington,” he winked, Steve pushed him harshly backwards that he stumbled and grabbed (y/n) by the wrist gently.

“Come on,” he said, and (y/n) agreed, satisfied with the slap she gave him. It felt like therapy, really. They started to walk away, but then he decided to open his mouth again.

“When you’re done being disappointed by Harrington, I’ll be here waiting for you princess,” he said it so smugly and at that moment (y/n) just lost her temper, turning around and practically about to run at him, but Steve was fast, wrapping an arm around her waist and saying, “He’s just trying to get a rise out of you, (y/n)!”

Billy looked amused at that, wanting Steve to let her go, but Steve kept a firm grip, even though he wanted to see him get punched in the face this time by his girlfriend, but they were in the middle of a hallway with others looking at them, probably about to get kicked out at any second.

Billy didn’t say anything, eyes glimmering with excitement for some reason. Now Steve wanted to be the one to punch that look off his face. Fuck that guy, really. (y/n) let out a sigh, and looked at Steve, “Let’s just go.” Steve nodded, shooting Billy a glare before they finally left, this time with Billy not saying anything.

When they were out of the theater, and mall, still holding hands, Steve couldn’t help but say, “You slept with that guy twice?” (y/n), who was still mad, looked at Steve with wide eyes.

“You said you wouldn’t judge,” she said, frowning deeply. Steve shook his head.

“And like I said I’m not! Just god he’s such an asshole, you must’ve been really dehydrated,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I know, I’m so embarrassed,” she admitted, “Also don’t tell Robin,” she said, realizing what a mess that would be, Steve was being oddly nice and nonchalant about it but she knew Robin would roast her to death and she wasn’t ready for that.

Steve laughed, “I won’t, I promise!” (y/n) sighed.

“I totally ruined the night.”

“No you didn’t, he did, nobody told him to say shit like that,” he said as he leaned on the hood of his car, pulling (y/n) against him, her hands resting on his chest, “I’ve dealt with that prick before, you know, and I’ll deal with him more if it means defending you and your honor- even though you clearly don’t need it.” He referred to the slap, and her almost pouncing the guy. (y/n) chuckled.

“I don’t want to get banned from the theater for punching him,” she said, Steve nodded.

“That would be rough,” he rested his hands on her waist, leaning in to kiss her. She kissed him back, resting her hands on his shoulders before moving them to meet at the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her to deepen their kiss, “Then again, we can still kiss like this anywhere else.”

“Clearly,” (y/n) said, pecking him on the lips, she leaned away for a second, looking at Steve very lovingly, “He was a mistake, Steve, from a time in my life I’d rather forget. I...I love you.”

Steve looked pleasantly surprised by her words, cheeks turning slightly red, and he smiled, “I love you too.”

They kissed once more, deeper than the first time and only stopped because a group of teens whistled. (y/n) felt her cheeks heat up, kissing in the dark in the back of the theater was different than kissing out in the open like this, Steve chuckled and moved forward, saying, “What did you say about the backseat before Hargrove interrupted?”

(y/n) smirked and said, “You know what I said.”

Very quickly the both of them got into the car, Steve speeding out of the parking lot attempting to park somewhere where they can get a little damn privacy.

#steve harrington/reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #stranger things imagine #st imagines #st x reader #stranger things #billy hargrove #billy hargrove/reader #yikes i say yikes im out of practice

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senstia · 4 years ago

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Andrew being comfortable saying i love you to neil and saying it a bunch??

im a firm believer that andrew gets comfortable being more expressive with Neil and saying i love you after he has been with him for a long time, here u go (:

The foxes had a new bet. After years of Andrew and Neil living together they all knew that Andrew and Neil loved each other. They’d seen it through subtle touches and passing glances throughout the years. But what they didn’t know is if the two boys said it to each other. Did they say ‘I love you’ ? Did they whisper sweet nothings in each others ears? Did they hold hands just for the sake of being close? Did they kiss when there was really no reason to? That’s what the foxes wanted to know. As much as Nicky wanted it, he didn’t believe that they were like that. Allison, Matt, and Dan firmly believed that Neil and Andrew had affectionate sides that no one saw. Renee stayed quiet as always and Aaron and Kevin sided with Nicky. They argued about it for about an hour, the foxes loved contemplating Neil and Andrew‘s relationship, it had become a game for them over the years, but mainly it was because they all loved the two boys so much and hoped that they were both happy.

“I have a plan,“ Allison said. “Lets go visit them! We haven’t seen them in forever anyway. We can all stay at their apartment and maybe we might see a thing or two.”

“Do they have enough space for that?” Nicky asked.

“Yeah they have a spare bedroom with two fulls and we can bring a few blowup mattresses and all sleep in there,” Kevin said.

Andrew was perched on the island in his and Neil’s shared kitchen, watching the commotion. Neil had decided that it would be a good idea to invite all the former foxes over for the weekend and right now Andrew was regretting agreeing to it. After a stressful week full of nightmares for Neil, all Andrew wanted to do was stay wrapped up in Neil until there was nothing in the world left but each other. But no. Instead his stupid junkie was bouncing from fox to fox, catching up with them all, and had forgotten Andrew completely. Andrew scowled. He had gotten far too used to having Neil’s undivided attention all the time.

As per tradition they were having movie night. Andrew’s mood had slightly improved because Neil had brought his favorite ice cream and was now sitting snug against him on the couch. The foxes were making noise all around them but Andrew’s focus was zeroed in on Neil. Neil’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bright. Happiness. Andrew’s heart clenched at the sight.

Neil had spent the last week shaking and vomiting, lost in his own nightmares. He had been quiet all week, too quiet. His skin was in a constant state of clamminess and he had said no to Andrew three times. Neil always stayed close by, but when Neil was usually smothering, this week he had been distant. Seeing Neil’s smile back made Andrew’s heart clench painfully. Seeing Neil happy was all he wanted. He was so relieved by that smile it almost hurt.

Neil’s eyes drifted to Andrew’s and softened minutely as they did, “Staring.”

“Yes,” Andrew murmured, not taking his eyes off Neil. While Andrew still played the apathetic card with Neil a good amount, it was seeming more and more pointless lately. Neil loved him. He loved Neil. He had gotten to a point where he was comfortable saying it. Deflection wasn’t as necessary anymore. And then something twinged in Andrew’s chest as he realized he hadn’t said it to Neil once this week. Neil had been in such an awful state and he... he didn’t say it. Why didn’t he say it? Andrew knew words of affection were a balm to Neil’s wounds most of the time. Usually touch was Andrew’s way of showing Neil how much he loved him... but Neil hadn’t wanted that this week. And Andrew suddenly wondered if Neil had been craving words he didn’t receive.

“Drew?” Neil asked softly, pulling Andrew out of his reverie. Andrew looked back up at Neil.

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked.

Neil nodded and Andrew leaned in and kissed Neil softly, holding his cheeks in his hands. He pulled back slightly and looked at Neil, stroked his fingers along Neil’s cheeks. And then he traced Neil’s jaw with a finger, and then his eyes, his nose, and finally his lips. He kissed Neil once more softly and pulled back, settling into the couch. Neil just sighed and rested his head on Andrew’s shoulder, turning to watch the movie they had put on.

Allison smacked Nicky on the arm four times but he was too engrossed in the movie to notice.

“Nicky! They just kissed!” Allison whispered.

“We’ve seen them kiss before, this bet is about words Allison! Now watch the movie,” Nicky whispered back.

Andrew woke to darkness and an empty bed. The sheets were still warm on Neil’s side so he knew he hadn’t been gone long. Andrew padded into the kitchen and saw Neil leaning on the kitchen counter, staring at his hands like he was searching for something there. Andrew flicked on a dimmed light and walked up to Neil, leaning against the counter beside him. After a few minutes of silence Neil’s voice rang out.

“Drew,” he said, his voice was husky from disuse, he sounded drained.

Andrew look to Neil and was met with those impossibly blue eyes. They weren’t bright right now though. They were cold, distant.

Andrew took a step closer to Neil and leaned in, Neil’s entire body flinched when Andrew lifted his hand. Andrew pulled back quickly. It was becoming more frequent that Neil didn’t want to be touched after a nightmare. And that was okay. Andrew knew better than anyone that that was okay. But he didn’t know what had caused the change.

“I-I can’t. I can’t...” Neil choked out, his body shaking.

“Don’t. Don’t feel guilty for not wanting to be touched.”

“But I do... I do. I just... I can’t.”

“That’s okay,” Andrew murmured.

Neil looked up at Andrew and his eyes softened.

“Drew,” He whispered, like a prayer.

“What do you need?” Andrew asked.

Nicky smacked Allison awake and hopped to the other foxes to wake them up.

“What the hell Nicky! It’s the middle of the night!” Kevin groaned.

“Neil and Andrew are awake! We have to spy on them. Everyone wake up!” Nicky exclaimed.

Once all the foxes were awake they crept to their bedroom door and cracked it open enough so that they could see into the kitchen.

Neil was leaning against the kitchen counter in his pajamas and Andrew was standing in front of him, a few inches away. They were murmuring too softly for the foxes to hear. The foxes slowly snuck out into the room a little further so that they could hear the exchange.

“What do you need?” Andrew was asking softly, looking at Neil with something like concern in his eyes, something like love.

Neil looked torn as he stared at Andrew, like he didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I-I’ve been having nightmares about how I got the scars on my abdomen,” Neil whispered. The foxes froze at this. Andrew seemed to freeze too. Andrew stayed silent, waiting for Neil to continue.

“Usually the-the nightmares are just memories. But lately... it’s like im living through it again. I can feel every lash of pain through my body like its happening all over again. I can still feel the echoes of it when I wake up. Thats why... that’s why its been harder for me to... lately. I still want... I don’t want you to think I don’t... I just can’t.” Neil said.

“Don’t worry about me Neil. Not for a second. I know. I know, Neil. Okay? You don’t have to explain it to me. You don’t owe me or anyone else that,” Andrew said firmly.

The two just stared at each other for the longest time, Neil seemed to drink in Andrew’s presence. Every second he seemed to relax more.

“Just... just my face,” Neil murmured.

Andrew raised a brow.

Neil scowled. “Yes, Andrew.”

Andrew stared at Neil for a few more moments and then took a step closer to him. He raised and hand to Neil’s cheek and traced it softly. Neil’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact and he seemed to revel in the feel of Andrew’s touch.

“Mm...” Neil hummed in contentment as Andrew kept stroking his face. Neil’s eyes fluttered open, “Thank you. I love you Drew.”

Allison smacked Nicky on the arm, “I told you,” she whispered aggressively.

Nicky smacked her back, “This goes both ways! Andrew has to say it too,” he whispered back.

“Can I kiss you?” Andrew asked.

Neil hummed and nodded. Andrew ghosted his lips over Neil’s cheek, kissed it once softly. Then he did the same to the other. And then he finally slotted his lips over Neil’s and kissed him reverently.

“I love you,” Andrew murmured against Neil’s mouth. Neil groaned at the words and his hands tightened on the countertop.

“Say it again...”

Andrew paused for a moment and then leaned in to kiss Neil’s jaw. “I love you.”

He kissed his ear. “I love you.”

He kissed his nose, “I love you.”

He kissed each of Neil’s eyelids, “I love you.”

Andrew kissed every square inch of Neil’s face, whispering I love you each time he kissed him. The foxes were floored. Aaron looked about one second from having a heart attack. Nicky was almost choking trying to conceal his squealing.

Matt had tears in his eyes, “I’m so happy for him... Neil deserves this so much. Oh my god.”

“I never thought... Andrew...” Aaron whispered.

Andrew pushed past all the intrusive thoughts in his head telling him this wasn’t right, this was wrong. Because that wasn’t true, and he was tired of fighting himself. Andrew had been dealing with this mental block for years, Bee had been helping him get through it in therapy lately, ever since Andrew and Neil had moved in together, Bee had brought it up, Andrew’s problem with expressing how he feels. It had been a rocky road and it had taken Andrew three years of going through it with Bee before he was able to choke out those three words to Neil. But it was easier now, especially when Neil was hurting, when Andrew knew it would help him. So Andrew let the words flow, let himself be painfully honest for once. Because he loved Neil. Goddamnit he loved Neil so much that sometimes he thought it might make him vomit. It was the most terrifying thing in the world but after being with Neil for 11 years the fear was only a dull ache, it wasn’t so suffocating anymore.

Neil felt new. Like every bad thing that had every happened to him was washed away with those words, with Andrew’s lips on his skin.

“Yes or no?” Neil asked as Andrew pulled back from Neil’s face. Andrew nodded and Neil pulled Andrew into a hug, burying his head in Andrew’s chest. Every part of them was touching and Neil didn’t feel any pain anymore.

“You. Are. Everything.” Neil whispered against Andrew. Andrew just tightened his arm around Neil and stroked his hair with a hand.

“You are too,” he murmured back.

The foxes walked back to their room in a daze, struck stupid by what they had just witnessed.

“I’ve never seen love like that before,” Kevin said quietly.

“No one is ever allowed to call Andrew monster again. We should have believed Neil when he said it wasn’t true,” Allison said.

“I’m just so happy for them yanno? They deserve it more than anyone in the world,” Nicky said emotionally.

Renee had a soft smile on her face, “Yes. They do.”

#the foxhole court #aftg #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #andriel #all for the game #tfc #andrew x neil #neil x andrew

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thegeminisage · 5 years ago

Text

alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever

because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE

but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale

but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly

speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it

okay commence the liveblog:

love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe

it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly

EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful

although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF

lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG

like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it

love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”

i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season

ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen

if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade

in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......

we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.

i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole

“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it

I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly

my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle

merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too

“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t

love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad

up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP

for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”

for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK

ARE

BLESSED

i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD

repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF

was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey

uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too)

i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL

“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was

and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.

you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.

“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”

you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther

i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)

but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck

between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now

and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE

and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2

ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT

me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc

actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth

percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell

there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it

absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good

can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur

the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow

there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”

and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH

if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that

i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend

multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy

“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL

merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine

love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD

do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync

here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.

you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable

until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO

we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.

leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,

love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship

i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left

arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together

merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud

honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it

splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??

love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP

uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.

seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O

just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat

“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither

speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks

i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit

also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening

AND NOW IT’S TIME

FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE

when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER

HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING!

“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment

AND HE DID THAT

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.

how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that

to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences

i can’t even like

like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror

i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther

it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)

he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it

and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying

merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first

i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment

THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE

okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?

arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?

IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY

my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him

i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too

tbh. i wish he had.

i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden

i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......

uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing

and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both

i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME

i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING

i’m not talking about the glove thing

i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face

and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was

#personal #merlin blogging #it took me three and a half hours to rewatch this episode because i kept pausing to scream #MERLIN DESERVES TO BE OUT TO EVERYONE ALL THE TIME it's not FAIR #that episode deserved to be 20 minutes longer it ended too soon #in a happier world arthur found out about the magic and immediately took merlin's side and defended him against the genocidal maniac but app #apparently this show is a greek tragedy now

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codariidoescrimes · 6 years ago

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was going into my drafts to work on the Jaesa Wilsaam meta part 2th and saw @i-declare-a-kaggath tagged me in a meme, so thnx for that bro!! imma procrastinate and finally do this :D

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people who you want to get to know better. whoo boy 21 huh? i think i have that many mutuals let’s take a look so umm @femmehawke @ghostlygal @malavaisquinn @sith-shenanigans @literatecephalopod @shecamefromwildspace @cystemic @everybodyloveshippos @confuzing @queenofthieves @yalakid @snootysith @void-fluff @pyralislegacy @sapphicjaina @valeroyeaux @cole-saberhagen @lanalanabobana @haringdyke @luke-biwalker and spot 21 is you: the person reading this!

nickname: I’m Arden!! or literally anything you can get from that.

zodiac: Libra

height: 5′2″ thats right im short. it’s where the chaos comes from

last movie i saw: Oh gosh when did I last watch a movie? I actually.... don’t have a clue lmao. So ummm, my FAVE movie is “what we do in the shadows” and you should totally check it out if ur into vampires and comedy.

Last thing googled: Tove Styrke aka my fc for Crisis. was making a meme. it’s not a good meme so i won’t post it, but she is a v good faceclaim

favorite musician: I love Phildel, I’m a big fan of Metric, I’ve been listening to a lot of Caro Emerald lately and also some Nightwish. Pvris is also v. good.

song stuck in my head: In the Dark of the Night from Anastasia. it’s a bop yea

other blogs: sure! you can find my main @ardentlythieving, my sometimes active sequels shitposting at @first-order-hr and my very inactive Eli Vanto rp blog @reluctant-commander

do I get asks: I get them sometimes. mostly people just yell at me on discord tho

following: 193 people here, over 1k on my main blog

amount of sleep: Depends on time of year and how bad my insomnia is flaring up. Generally between 0 and 12 hours per night, usually 6-9.

lucky number: 3

what i’m wearing: Red pajamas!

dream job: Honestly I’d love to publish a book. I’d also like to be a translator maybe, I think that would be neat. Or do something that lets me work nights I’m not suuuper fussed about what.

dream trip: Really I’d love to go to any country I have friends in and just hang out ya kno?

favorite food: hmmmm. don’t realllly have one. currently i’ve got a kiwifruit and pavlova ice cream tub thing and it’s REALLY GOOD. also i like chips with chicken salt on. and smoothies are delish there’s a place in the city with my uni that does them with like. fresh fruit and they are SO GOOD i get them whenever i can even tho it’s like 8 bucks.

play any instruments: Piano. Sort of. I learnt it for a bunch of years, then stopped for a while, so now I’m out of practice. Meaning to get back into it, but all the stuff I WANNA learn is v hard

languages: English. Also a bit of Swedish, I’ve been trying to learn it for a while altho I’ve been slacking lately don’t tell my main groupchat

random fact: Idk if any of y’all know the ttrpg system ‘Monster of the Week’, but if you do I’ve played Monster of the Week with the guy who wrote Monster of the Week which was neat af. He wasn’t actually the gm of that session. I was like a scooby doo kid and he was my charas conspiracy theory loving older brother who almost got sacrificed it was a wild time.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: honestly I think just a ton of really bright n shiny n colourful things.

#tag game #thnx for the tag kaggath!!!#about me #ardently original

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sanaseva-archive · 8 years ago

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i read ur tag about how people don't read ur evak headcanons but im new here and would love the shit out of them

sorry this took ages because it’s a lot to collect from a lot of places, but like. it’s not that they don’t read them. it’s that when i tell them they tell me to stop (probably bc it’s emotionalé :P)

but i usually send headcanons to sunny, anki and faiza!!! (and a couple of others on twitter but that was between seasons mostly lol)

read under break!!

1. pianist!isak

when isak was younger, he played the piano. he took classes, he understood the instrument, he felt the music flowing through his fingers and into the air, an echo from his very soul. he could switch it up and he could make a happy song sad.

then, people started to comment on how gay it all was. he started to panic and put the piano lid down, never to touch it again.

his father moved out, brought the piano with him, and isak never really cared. he could skateboard instead, hang out with jonas and play video games instead. jonas tried to ask once, “what’s up with you never playing the piano anymore?” but isak shuts him down easily with “it’s boring and i hate it”. they never touch on the subject again.

years later, when even and isak are out travelling, isak finds a public piano. he gravitates too it and even says something about “no, let it be, it’s not a toy, love,” but isak doesn’t care-- doesn’t listen. he hasn’t touched a piano since-- well-- since he stopped playing. he has, however, missed the piano so much. he missed the control he had. god knows he can’t sing to save his own life, but the piano? that’s something he can do.

he goes there, and does the thing, leaving even and the crowd speechless. who could’ve guessed, that the young man in trainers and snapback could do that?

even shines with pride, he hugs isak tightly when he’s finished and kisses him, and tells everyone to “look at my boyfriend!!! isn’t he fantastic? amazing? absolutely perfect?”

2. even + the balloon squad, growing up

okay so, this one was with faiza. remember the handshake in the hei briskeby video?

even was there when it became a thing. he was there for a long time. they knew each other for a long time, in fact.

so i couldn’t stop thinking about all !! the !! events !! they have shared, all the things they remember doing together, all the things they grew up doing together. such as:

at the bakkoush' it was not uncommon for many years to see the boys pretend wrestling and hugging and racing the house. when the boys were really small they used to run outside on various branches pretending to play quidditch and even could recite his favourite parts by heart and mikael too

about painting nails

imagine even and mikael and yousef painting their nails together for the first time and they spill probably on sana's favourite shirt and they're super sorry and sana is like UGH YOU CAN'T EVEN PAINT YOUR NAILS PROPERLY ALRIGHT LET ME DO IT SO YOU DON'T SPILL IT ALL OVER THE PLACE and they're like YES PLEASE SANA HELP US

faiza added:

SHE WOULD HELP THEM DO IT LIKE LOOK BOYS "THIS IS THE TRICK"

i continued

and then they can't stop showing elias and mutasim and mama and papa bakkoush their nails and they keep complimenting sana's skills like "we ruined her shirt" "were so sorry :(" "but she helped us with the nails and LOOK LOOK!!!" and mutasim is probably like "looking good bros" and mama bakkoush goes "very nice boys, ooo look at that colour even!! it really brings out your eyes" and even literally shines up and sana is like ughhhhh these boys can't do shit

about biking

imagine them biking and racing each other and then like. elias falls and scrapes his knees and it Really Hurts and the boys are like oh No and try to help him and they get Elias back home and nobody's home and Yousef is like. "Well, first we need to clean it" and Elias tries to Be Cool but his eyes sting when they help cleaning the cuts and Sana comes home and Elias is crying in the bathroom with all the boys, Muta probably tries to calm the situation but Sana is like WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER and they're like "no no he fell when we were biking" and Sana puffs out some air and takes the charge and she calls their dad to get help over the phone and then they help Elias to his bed to lie down and they're all So Concerned but by the next week they're at it again, biking down the streets because it's what they do

If they were really young when they met imagine them learning how to bike 😭😭😭

about harry potter nerding

(imagine that, a preteen even is sitting on his bed, his legs crossed and he tries to do magic like they do in harry potter, and he tries to magically make sure his friends are okay before he goes to bed every night, and later, when he doesn't understand why he's starting to loose interest in things and feel endlessly sad all the time, he puts a hand to his heart and whispers lumos, because once, when he was crying because someone had been mean to him, mikael tried to cheer him up by putting his hand on even's heart and said lumos with a small smile, saying that now his heart should feel lightened)

faiza added:

all the boys having / a harry potter marathon / though /those are what nights are made for

i continued:

And Even and Mikael battling about who knows the most trivia / Yousef is always the one butting in about "but that's not how it is in the books" but even just laughs and says "its a movie, they can't have everything in it" and mikael just nods enthusiastically and they both sigh and blows out a wish about how they want to be a director one day

3. random evak headcanons

i sent this to anki, for example:

imagine when they're like 30, even blows out a sigh in the car and wishfully says something about wishing to have a motorcycle and just,,, couple of months later, isak has bought him a motorcycle and (if the license for motorcycle doesn't come with the regular driving license as it used to in Sweden in like the seventies or smth) he takes the license with even, and then they go on a trip somewhere ;nnnn;

and we’ve talked about isak’s sleeping problems too. here’s the convo:

me:

okay, but like. i can't fall asleep. so im thinking about isak not being able to fall asleep. and that makes me just Upset

anki:

it's gotten a lot better now that he gets to sleep next to even every night. but sometimes, the thoughts still creep up on him, making it impossible for him to fall asleep and then he tosses and turns around in bed, kicking the bed linen off himself, then covers himself up again because he freezes and even wakes up from it, whispers a "can't sleep?" all groggy and isak nods, cuddles closer to even and takes a breath. one, two, three, four. tries to calm himself down. even's hands hold isak's, firmly but soft. "i'm here" even whispers and isak breathes out again. one two three four

anki:

and even doesn't force isak to tell him all his thoughts, if isak wanted to he'd tell him, and that makes isak calm down even more, he's getting a lil sleepier still not sleepy enough to actually fall asleep but at least he's napping a little

me:

even notices the difference immediately. isak's response time slows down, his words get bundled together before they leave his mouth, his gaze is glassy and far-away, and sometimes, it feels like he's speaking to a ghost.

even tries to do a lot of things for isak. but he knows this isn't something he just can't. fix. much like how isak can't fix /him/. but that doesn't mean he doesn't try.

he lets isak rest against his chest because the even's heartbeats makes it easier for isak to find some peace.

he lets isak gaze off mid-conversation, and easily gets him back to track when isak blinks a couple of times to find himself in the present.

he helps isak find someone to talk to-- a professional-- and he hates to see how it doesn't get any better. it's not that it's getting worse per se, but isak feels a lot worse (which makes even feel much worse) because he got his hopes up. instead he's just. a walking zombie sometimes.

one day on the weekend, even wakes up to isak softly snoring. he rolls off the bed, gently, to make some breakfast. and when he gets back to their bedroom, he can see the absolute terror in isak's eyes.

"what's wrong" he asks, and he's starting to panic.

it takes a while-- most of this part of the memory is locked behind a door in even's mind, but later when isak comes back from another doctor's appointment, he learns that it's called sleep paralysis.

"i saw monsters," isak tells him quietly, and even can see isak's hand shaking a little. "i thought i was going to die."

even doesn't know what to say. he recognises the feeling-- from the monster inside his own head that sometimes visits him and overstays its welcome. when he wakes up one day, feeling the depression slowly dissipate, he tends to think, "i thought i was going to die" too.

he holds isak tightly instead, and doesn't really say anything. but isak hugs him back tighter (but much weaker than he would've a month ago) and he knows that they'll get through this.

and i’ve talked to both anki and sunny about pokémon go and the boy sqad so...

since even is a '97 there's no reason for him not to be completely hyped up about pokemon go. like. magnus is like lowkey, jonas is probably more with even on this and mahdi and isak are like ?? but even and jonas definitely drags them all around oslo, trying to catch the fucking digital creatures and nearly screams when a Rare appears on their nearby list.

guess who gasped when gen2 was released? even.

guess who groaned? isak.

but it's actually quite useful, isak finds, for when even is getting restless and can't sleep. isak suggests, "let's see if there's any new pokémon, shall we?" and out they go. for half an hour, an hour-- maybe two hours late at night, just strolling and trying to get them. when they get back home, even finally manages to fall asleep, and isak is holding him tightly, muttering about "guess im not the only nerd in this relationship," before he too falls asleep.

what they’re scared of:

what even is scared of:

being alone for too long, being left, being lost at an unfamiliar place, breaking something he's gotten as a gift, forgetting important dates, losing someone he loves, baring his soul, of himself when something feels Wrong but still not really wrong at all, making mistakes

what isak is scared of:

being left, dark and small spaces, getting bad grades, Weird Insects™, hurting someone he cares about,

(spiders especially:

me: so i totally think isak would be scared of spiders and literally shriek when he sees one this summer and jumps up on a chair calling for even to come save him and even is like..... mate It's our roommate Bengt or smth

And isak is like no take it outside!!!! and then when Bengt has been let out to live its spidery life even just gently teases isak a little and isak is like no this didn't happen idk what you're talking about WHERE'S YOUR PROOF

anki: "I'm the master of liking spiders. they're so very...... nice"

me: "especially their..... legs?"

anki: "they have like....... eight legs don't you think that's......................... A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH"

me: "a little bit too much" is definitely said with a squeak)

and

whatever you do absolutely do not think about the squads having a movie night at evak's place and isak falls asleep on even's shoulder, and even lets him sleep there for a while, even though he notices how isak starts to drool all over him, and when the movie is over the squads fall quiet because-- wow isak really is the softest boy around even???? and even just gestures them to be quiet and carries isak over to their bed and isak wakes up a bit, asking if the movie is over and if it was any good and he's sorry he fell asleep and please tell everyone good night from me and that i love my friends

and even does that, and when he comes back to bed isak is fast asleep again and he was honestly just going to lie close to isak for a while before cleaning up the plates and bowls for snacks they've used but he falls asleep to, holding isak closely and hearing his boy's deep breathing.

when he wakes up, in the middle of the night however, isak has managed to turn the tables and he's being held by isak again. he doesn't mind, even if isak has started drooling on his neck again

about even’s first movie being about isak:

me:

do you ever think abt even making his first movie and it isn't directly about isak but it's about his /love/ for isak and when isak watches it for the first time he is a sobbing mess

anki:

also the credits just begin with "for you" without putting a name in there and isak just SOBS AND SOBS AND SOBS

evak + snowboarding

next winter even definitely takes isak out for some snowboarding but isak is definitely hopeless at it and isak can be heard muttering about "is it even normal to want to be this high up on a fucking mountain and wanting to race down this shit on a fucking snowboard"

u know when u eaten spicy food and u wake up feeling hangover the next day? (i don’t but my apparently this is a thing lmao)

one day even makes the food too spicy but isak really wants to prove him he's Tough(TM) and eats it all and tries not to complain or show he's suffering and the next day isak wakes up feeling like he's hungover because there was so much salt and seasoning and shit that his body is like. mate. water pls.even laughs as he hands isak a waterbottle.

this summer evak moment we won’t see:

one day this summer, even will wake isak up at like 9am and be like "we're going to the beach today yes we aaaaree" and isak is like, tiredly, "we are?" and even is like YEP GET UP YOU LAZY BOY and the breakfast is in the table for isak when he has finally managed to roll out of bed and when he enters the kitchen isak opens the freezer bc "it's too hot even I can't live like this" and even closes the freezer bc "we have food in there isak, please" and then they get to the beach and isak rolls out the blanket or the towel and literally slumps down and falls asleep again, only to wake up to even touches his legs with.... something??? and isak squeaks "what are you DOING" and even stops for a second before he says "you need sun protection my pale boy, or do you want to turn into Donald trump?"

and then even plays some music on his phone, probably nas bc why not, and then isak wakes up again and is like "I need water NOW im BURNING" and they race into the water laughing and tripping and then they probably kiss in the water and isak challenges even into another hold your breath under the water competition and isak is so so grumpy that he never wins that shit

like there’s a lot? of shit i’ve shared? like ?? i can’t go through everything im sorry ;n;

this is a fkn mess, im so so so so sorry

and i’ve shared tonnes of headcanons with sunny amongst others, like. it’s impossible to mention all of them rip

also this is super not in order we’ve spoken about them?? and they’re like. sometimes in swedish and sometimes in english it’s? a mess honestly? and like. all of the above is basicaly copy paste bc im too lazy trying to make sense hahhahaa sorr,y

#. en jävligt lång post #anonymous #owlpost

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ventregardless · 4 years ago

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huge mood swing

weird how those have been happening a lot more than usual lately.

im trying to beat my computer about to die. I only have a few things to say, and I cant be fucked to get up and grab the charger from my room only to put it back in there so that I can watch hunter x hunter in the living room before it gets too dark, because frankly im a big scaredy cat pussy that cant do anything remotely required of an adult.

so.

im pretty proud of my shopping habit today. I went in, I assesed properly, I didnt give in to buying stupid shit that I already had, and because of my absolute god tier discernment I managed to only buy one thing!!

one!

very proud. in the grand scheme of things, that doesnt matter all that much, but it was a big deal to me and im excited to get my habits under control.

I dont know whats going on with my feelings lately.

I dont feel my best but I don’t feel my worst. some days are better than others. I can feel really good one moment but then the next I get smacked with a huge let down that brings my entire mood down to shit despite it not being a big deal at all.

I am realizing now that I probably really need to get my charger because I have a lot more to say than I figured and I kinda dont want to risk fucking up my flow.

brb.

I am back.

I supposed its a good thing I went to get up because I was able to put my zara bag back in the guest bedroom/second closet room.

Okay, in the super grand scheme of things, spending a solid $500 dollarinos on a bunch of clothes is probably not the best step in the right direction. BUT! To justify it, I really went on that wild bender because I have transitioning. It’s a big transition, a very big girl transition into adulthood. I have an aesthetic I want to keep up, and frankly, Miss Kelly Stamps has taught me that wanting to keep up with an aesthetic takes fucking work, so I sought out to put that god damn work in and I did. That was a very privileged sentence; putting in work towards my closet as if that’s the biggest thing I could be doing with my time. But honestly, I’m working towards an overhaul of like... everything. It’s not terribly torturous, at least not to me, (I just glanced outside and I’m noticing that I’m losing sunlight, but I really want to watch more hunter x hunter, but im scared to do that at night because im on that chimera arc, and I find it very dark and scary. So perhaps I should stop wasting time and wrap up my thoughts, but I have so many that idk how im going to do it)

Anyway, yeah, at least not to me.

It’s not that I don’t want to be myself. It’s that I’ve felt so trapped by an old self for so long, and a new self is ready to emerge that I really like, but she needs work to come out. And its ugly work, it is.

She’s trapped in here and I’m working to get her out.

Now, I’ve been slacking the last few weeks. Thankfully not to the point of no return, but enough to where I’ve really been feeling like garbage about it. So I’m starting again, and I’m pretty sure I can do it better this time. I had a wonderful start (not sure what it is with me and new weeks, I feel like fresh starts are best launched at the beginning of new weeks) but I did well. Made some returns, picked up my glasses, exercised some habits I want to curate, I’m doing a good job.

I’m hopeful to not have much errands to run after wrapping all of this up the next coming week. I say hopeful because honestly, I say that every week, and it doesn’t get any better because I’m an idiot. I know this.

But I feel this new change in my bones!! Can you believe it. Bones!

Few things I still want: Solid pairs of trousers (camel and black) Levi’s ribcage jeans/everlane cheeky jeans (black and classic blue) and heeled mary janes with a strap or some other black, square toed heel.

that’s a solid five more things I want in my arsenal that I can argue I need! But I cant order four of them until I get more other issue sorted out. Then will come winter, and I’ll have to replace my sweaters because I should look much different by then, and they will no longer due. Luckily, I have plenty of cardigans to buffer the issue, and thankfully the coats I boat were in mediums so I can get away with them, I believe. I’m imagining purchasing no more than like, four additional sweaters. Maybe even two, if I’m being as strict as I should be.

But that shopping will be spread throughout the year. Hopefully by september I will be where I want, if these habits I develop end up bending to my will.

I really want to stop being scared of little things eventually. But I need the fear so that I can do things. I need to be limited now so I’m not as much later, and I’ll have good habits to balance out any cravings I may have so that indulgence doesn’t lead to weighted regret.

I want to come up with a name for this idealism. I’ve bought six books this week, I want to read them... and I will. I want reading to be a habit. I want staying inside to be a habit. I want skirts and dresses and heels to be a habit. I want yoga and light work to be a habit. I want a lot of things.

I’m a little worried about my connection to Kelly. I want to be like her a lot. I think her philosophy is very cool, I rewatch the same videos multiple times over the course of a few days because I just like what she says. I like how smart she is and how sure she is of things. The discipline she has is very cool, and I want to get on a similar level soon. Not her extreme methods, per say, but a similar mentality because it’s fun to mimic and very much resonates with me.

She’s really cool.

I kinda want to be cool like that.

Things Ive learned:

This crochet and I are not friends. I miss my twists and my braids to my ass. But you see, I am not going anywhere, so investing in braids to my ass at this time would be incredibly stupid and hard on the neck for no good reason.

For someone who loves books so much, reading them is quite the hassle. How awful of me to buy so many but hardly read one?!

Slightly obsessed with my closet... unsure if in a good way... I’ll have to sit down with myself and inquire if we have a problem, which I think we might, and then go from there on how to get it under control.

Speaking of closets! I still think mine could be paired down some more. Though I went through it yesterday and happily got rid of things I don’t like nor fit, I still feel like I restrained on a lot of things. I’ll have to give that another go and be harder on myself and my items.

I like minimalism a lot. I want to read more about it and find more youtubers that talk about it. It interests me a lot, not because I want to be one exactly but I want to share their sentiments and teachings. It sits very well with me and my soul. I like that feeling.

Hair being short is a no go. I don’t care what itch I gain; never again. that’s dead, if you will. Though I don’t fully regret doing this cut, because I needed to scratch the itch to learn what I didn’t like. I saw what I look like and thats that!

I get full fast. Gotta slow down the habit of stuffing my face just because I can. You know. Eat when hungry, or whatever. How do people eat three times a day? Or more? I can’t even think about it without feeling full.

I like tea. I should drink it way more often.

I need to read more as well.

Anyway, some goals before I wrap this up:

I hope to hear back from crown and remodel soon. I would really like to take on either of those projects because it’s what I want. I love those spaces and I’m hopeful to aid in their curation.

Hopeful that this cut will get into full affect by mid july. It was a bit hasty of me to start it up at the beginning knowing that all of my items hadn’t arrived yet, so returns still need to be made as well as assessments.

Fill out that damned application (BH)

Watch some barbie/princess/disney movies cause you like that shit.

Read something! What is your deal! You have fics and books to devour why are you like this!

Anyway, I think I’m on the right track. I’m trying and it feels like it’s working sometimes but other times it doesn’t. It is working though, in ways. It’s okay that I don’t always feel like it... but it is.

This is going well!

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0225pm · 6 years ago

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it is currently 8:34am!!

just wanted to update on today’s events before i sleep.

so earlier this morning, i accompanied my mom to akmal’s madrasah graduation but rayhan managed to book out earlier than expected so he was able to come see the grad. but in the letter they said that they only allowed max of 2 people into the hall so i decided to just let my mom and rayhan go since tbh, i wasn’t wearing the proper attire to go in the masjid anyway. at first, i was kinda upset with my mom cus i didn’t see the point of me going if rayhan was going since only 2 people are allowed per child but then thinking of my mom going there on her own makes me worry a little since she’s rather frail so i decided to go with her and sent her to the masjid, waited for rayhan to come before making my way to bedok interchange.

it has been a rather long while since i’ve been to the interchange, or anyway really, on my own. i’m the kind of person that prefers having company than doing things alone. some may say that i lack independency but whatever it is, it’s always nice to have company. as i was walking around aimlessly in the mall, i thought of going to mcdonald’s to just lepak until my mom calls but it was too damn crowded and i missed the breakfast timing by a minute, so that was a bummer. but yeah, can you actually imagine me eating alone??? the last time i had to do that was back when i was working for YG at OG and taka, for my lunch break since i was working alone lol. but anyway, as i made my rounds at each levels, i finally decided to buy something to eat at old chang kee and then as i went back up the escalator, i thought of going to heartbeat but then again the thought of having to walk all the way there while i was socially sweating seems like a major no at that point so i decided not to and went to starbucks instead. alas, what a poor decision i’ve made. like literally, poor LOL cus i was $8.80 poorer after buying one of their christmas frappe lol and i didn’t even add whipped cream!! i should have said yes to whipped cream bc those are free unless you want extras, then you’ll have to pay. but anyway, the good thing is there was a lot of empty seats at starbucks which was quite weird considering that it’s a saturday but i was thankful cus it means that i didn’t have to stand awkwardly waiting for my mom to call.

so after i collected my drink, i sat down and i watched a couple episodes of chilling adventures of sabrina on netflix. luckily i downloaded a few so i managed to save on data haha but i didn’t think to bring my portable charger and my battery was getting pretty low after awhile. also i noticed that the person spelled my name as “hady” instead of “heidy” lol but wtvr doesn’t bother me. and then i think around 1+ almost 2, my mom called saying that they’re done with the ceremony and then asking me to go meet her and my cousins at this shop called new rezki and at first i was kinda lost and then well, my mom has this habit of like screeching her voice into the phone so it sounds like she’s shouting and/or raising her voice intensely like as though she’s mad and pissed at you but really, she’s not. i guess it’s a bad habit she picked up after countless “huh hello” whenever she called someone. but yeah, so i got a little bit upset cus the feeling’s not good when someone is raising their voice at you and i was wearing my earpiece for goodness sake so i kinda raised my voice a little too and then like i said, i was lost so she tried to direct me but LOL i ended up just googling and apparently it’s just right across the interchange, roughly about 4 mins walk as stated on map.

after seeing me, we all started ordering the food we wanted. akmal got fried noodles, rayhan had to watch what he eat cus he’s in NS and he’ll be punished if he gains weight instead of losing so he got a bowl of beef salad. my mom got bee hoon kuah and i got their mutton chop. it was ok but very oily for my taste so i don’t think i’ll ever buy that again unless i’m craving for it and if i’m nearby. it’s a dollar cheaper than the ones selling at thohirah though. oh and the shop is 24/7 too! i guess most, if not all, mamak eateries are 24/7. after we had our lunch, my mom bought some lauk back for my dad and for dinner and then we all headed back to the interchange. from there we split ways with my cousins cus they were taking the bus at the entrance of the mall, whereas we were taking the one at the interchange.

the moment i reached home, i quickly took a shower again and shampooed my hair cus i perspired earlier on and as i was changing i heard knocking on my window. i was so shook wtf cus i wasn’t expecting anyone but turns out it was farhan. like seriously what the heck.... LOL i was happy la but i was also very shock cus i thought he was gonna take the train but he actually took a grab all the way to my place instead. damn bobo la hahahaha and i wasn’t even fully ready yet even. so i rushed and did my usual face makeup and then let him in so he didn’t have to wait so long for me outside and then i did my usual going out routine. drying my hair, straightening a little, picking outfits and putting them together in my head. for some reason i was super duper indecisive about my outfit today. like idk why i couldn’t just grab and go like i usually do. and i also always will look through look books or style accounts and then visualize it in my head and i’m set but idk why the hell was i so damn frikin indecisive and fickle minded about my outfit today i kept changing and changing and then wearing different pieces together and shit and lol i finally ended up wearing the first outfit i tried which was just a black dress with a denim jacket. the sad thing is, the dress was kinda short and when i walk it gets even shorter so every now and then i had to pull it down but it’s really a cute dress though i think it’ll be nicer on someone shorter haha.

we walked to the bus stop and then went to tampines cus i had to get the brooch that my mom wants at isetan and while on the way there we were thinking of what to eat and looking through links that i’ve saved on facebook on different places we can go and eat at but most of them were either too far or too expensive and we don’t have that kind of money to throw on food yet, especially not when we still have 2 more weeks left till end of the month. after awhile, we decided to stop at tamp hub and eat at the thai shop, the one where we ate before. but lol the queue was so long and it seems like a long wait + majority of the tables were filled so we settled for tenderfresh. i felt like having fish so i got their grilled fish with aglio olio and farhan got the chicken chop one. i like their aglio olio!! it has this mild spice taste and farhan says that it’s kinda like mee goreng. overall, it was nice. their buffalo wings could be a little bit spicy though but it was still good! 😋

after our late lunch early dinner, we went to isetan to see the brooches but sadly there wasn’t anymore sale price and it was going at $19 per pin so i called my mom and ask if she still wants it and she said no cus it’s too expensive and if it was $9 like before it’ll still be ok. so we ended up not getting anything there. though now thinking about i felt like i should have just splurge my money to get her one brooch at least since she has been wanting it when she first noticed it last saturday.

afterwards, i casually mentioned genki before to farhan and he thought i was joking but lol we ended up taking the train and going to genki cus i said that i wanna satisfy my cravings. we went to the bugis outlet and surprisingly the queue was moving really fast. i got the ones i wanted and we spent less than 20 bucks there which was really unexpected but also good i guess. i’m so thankful that farhan was ok with splitting the bill even though he didn’t even eat a lot. then after that we walked from bugis to dhoby as usual and i wanted to walk even further down towards plaza sing bus stop but we saw another 65 coming so we decided to walk back towards the sota bus stop and take it there instead hehe.

i really enjoyed my day today with him. it has been a wonderful day and i hope that we will have more good happy days like these. i like how we shared our music interest while on the bus ride home, and then i was so in awe when i heard him rapping!!! he really look so cool at that moment hahaha like im not kidding. maybe i’m the only one who sees him and think that he’s cool la but hahaha wtvr 😂 i also like how we joked a lot and just sorta teased each other lol or maybe that was me bc i kacau him on the train ride towards bugis hahaha and his reactions are all so cute wth i just wanna squish him 🥰😍 and then i get to lay in his arms!!!! that’s always my fav part at the end of the day tbh. just being in his embrace hais.... oh and he went home really late (or should i say early lol) around 7am cus we had a hard time booking a grab!!! but also bc we were busy playing ml hahaah we were on a roll but had to stop since he hasn’t been home for the whole day and me too but like my house is just here ya know whereas he lives all the way at the other side hahaha so yeah i gotta get him back home and to sleep also since we didn’t get much sleep that night. one day i wanna try sneaking him into the house and letting him just sleep in my brother’s room or something after my dad’s asleep. but idk if i have the guts haha or maybe should do like that time when he stayed in my brother’s room till really late and we played games together and watched movies on netflix. that was fun too 😁

#adaywithhan #novemberwithhan #personal #171118 #181118

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foundcarcosa · 7 years ago

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ccciii.

Can you remember your first day of school? >> Nope. Who’s your best friend? >> Can Calah / Garth. Do you watch the Disney channel? >> No. What’s your favourite movie? >> The Fountain and Interstellar are tied. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? >> Jump out of an airplane (assuming it’s in the skydiving sense and not just... straight-up killing myself), and not just because I can’t swim.

Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? >> I don’t look at people’s holiday pictures, generally, unless I follow them on Instagram or something (in which case there’s not usually so many photos that I have time to get bored). Do you give money to charity? >> No. What can you hear right now? >> A :wumpscut: song (She’s Dead). What does your last received text say? >> “Do you want James Jonathan” (Jimmy John’s) Is there anything annoying you right now? >> Not really. What did you last have to eat? >> Rice pudding. Are you more into music or movies? >> I’m into both. Do you like making surveys? >> I used to, but I’d rather just take them. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? >> Aside from the one in the backyard at Sparrow’s parent’s house, which I’ve never actually used myself, the last swimming pool I was near is the one at Easton Mountain. Can you ride a bike? What age were you were you learned? >> Yes. I don’t remember. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? >> Either is good, but I really love snakes. Do you have, or would you like to get, any tattoos? >> I have three and of course I want more. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? >> I’ve seen a lot of bands live. The last one was Trans-Siberian Orchestra. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in someone’s bedroom? >> I don’t know, I don’t find myself in other people’s bedrooms lately. What colour are your socks? >> I’m not wearing any. When was the last time you went outside? >> Uh... Are you too hot or too cold right now? >> No. Do you have any musical instruments in your bedroom? >> No. Do you like Batman or Robin more? >> I don’t care for either. Did you ever love Pokemon? Do you still? >> I never got into it. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? >> Sometimes, but that’s because I can get irritable about random things. I don’t take it out on them, though, because it’s usually not even about them. Have you ever talked to your parents over an IM programme? >> No. Do you like painting? A picture or walls? >> I never got into painting. Do you have any fairy lights in your bedroom? >> Yes, they’re my primary source of light in here because they’re not garishly bright. What does your washing powder smell like? >> I don’t remember. Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? >> We have a dishwasher, but it’s not in use. Are there any cobwebs in your room? >> Probably not. Do you keep a diary? >> I keep a dreamwidth, but I keep not updating it. What made you laugh last? >> Sparrow. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? >> Nah. Do you read Texts From Last Night? How about FML? >> No. Are you wearing any jewelery right now? >> Yes. Do American / British spelling differences annoy you? >> No. Do you like the smell of lavender? >> Yes. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? >> No and no. Did you keep any drawings / stories from when you were younger? >> Since the cloud and all of that didn’t exist when I was a child, all that stuff is gone. The oldest stuff I have (so, from my early twenties) is my first deviantART account, which is blessedly still up, and I refuse to delete it. Who did you last have an argument with? >> I don’t remember. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? >> I mean, I made couscous earlier... that’s not really cooking. When was the last time you wrapped a present? >> Christmas last year. Do you have a safe? >> No. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? >> Uh. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) >> I don’t know. Do you own a baby names book? >> No. Do you read TV magazines? >> No. When was the last time you saw a relative? >> I mean, I see them on facebook all the time. I haven’t seen one in person in almost a decade. What time is it right now? >> 10.52p EST. Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? >> Sometimes. Usually I don’t shout. Have you ever been in a TV audience? >> Yeah, I had some friends in the Avenged Sevenfold fandom that I used to go to FUSE show tapings with. We sat in the audience for The Sauce quite a few times.

Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? >> I’ve only done scratchoffs. Won a few dollars. When was the last time you were so angry you thought you would burst? >> When Sparrow’s mother hugged me without permission at Easter. I don’t know if “angry” is the right word, per se, but it’s the closest analogue. Do you skip breakfast? >> Sometimes. Are you in anyway close to reaching a personal goal? >> I don’t have any. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? >> I prefer crosswords. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? >> No. Felt-tip pens or highlighters? >> I mean, that’s like comparing apples to oranges. Do you like making collages? >> I don’t dislike it, I guess. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? >> No. What’s your favourite video-game? >> I play too many to have a favourite. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? >> No. Do you think you’re a geek? >> I don’t really know what a geek is, so. Have you ever made up a word? >> Definitely. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? >> Yeah. I’ve never been able to talk on the phone without wanting to scream. Are you scared of anything irrational? >> I have very specific anxieties related to... whatever too many drugs and too much Dark Tower did to my head. I can’t really explain them out of context.

Can you calm yourself down or do you just get all panicked at things? >> Most of the time I just use distraction. Trying to calm myself down just leads to thought loops, and listening to Can Calah is hit or miss (because sometimes I just thoughtloop at him instead and he gets exasperated lmao). Do you need to wash your hair? >> I don’t think so. Moisturise, definitely. What are your plans for tomorrow? >> Wake up dumb-early to take Gus to the vet with Sparrow. Then come back home and wait until it’s time to go pick him up. Other than that, I have no idea. Have you ever forgotten how to spell a really simple word? >> Yeah. Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? >> No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) >> I’ve had at least two wigs that had a fringe. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? >> No. What time did you get up this morning? >> 6 or so. Have you ever been so hot you took a freezing cold shower? >> I doubt it. I don’t take shocks to the system very well. Do you own a plaid shirt? >> Sure. Do you have a fan in your room? >> Not currently, because it’s not the season for it yet. Do you know where your parents are right now? >> No. Can you brush your teeth without getting toothpaste all over your face? >> Yeah. Do you have tiled floors in your house? >> No. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? >> Not regularly, but I have several of them in my iTunes library. Do you bruise easily? >> No.

What would you love to learn to do? >> Nothing comes to mind at the moment. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? >> Both. Some movies I won’t watch unless an actor I like is in it (stuff like Free State of Jones, which was really fuckin good but I would have never picked it up if it wasn’t for my wild-eyed grunge god Matt McConaughey). Some movies I’ll watch even if I don’t know anyone in it, just because it looks that interesting. Sometimes the combination of both actors I like and plot hook does the trick. Sometimes it’s none of the above, and I just watch the movie because it’s there.

#surveysofsamedi #surveys

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chulochingoncomelon · 7 years ago

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Fecal Incontinence

Going into our Senior year, Kyle was captain of the hockey team, I was captain of the rugby team, Megs and Josh were first chairs in band, and Charlie was our buddy. Charlie, we found out through high school, was the son of a trucker. Thats why when he was bored, he would always act like he was driving a truck and shifting gears. He didn’t have a lot of money, but he was the best of guys, and one of my best friends. If someone joked about his appearance, or his deep southern draw, Kyle and I made sure they never laughed in his direction again. At Prom last year, Kyle and I split the costs to make sure Charlie got to go. This year, Charlie would save our asses.

It was after one of the final football games of the year. Our team was the worst as usual, but that didn’t stop us from celebrating a minor loss. We only lost by two touchdowns. Kyle and I “acquired” a twenty-four pack of Natural Lite, Nattie for short. I drove an old, beat up, 1984 beamer. Red. It was built like a tank. But, what I loved most, is the fact we could keep a cooler full of beer in the trunk and all I had to do was pull down the armrest in the back, and it would open right into the trunk. Perfect.

After the game, Kyle, Charlie, and I were waiting on Josh. While we were waiting by the band room I hear a tap on Kyle’s window. Kyle, sitting shotgun, looked over and saw Mr Adelot. Yes, Craig’s father. Along with his social awkwardness, Craig was also the son of the band teacher. Kyle slowly rolled down his window.

“Hey gentlemen,” Mr. A said in his stuck up, nasally voice, “what are you four doing tonight” “Four,” I ask. “Yes four. You, Mr. Kyle, Mr. Charles, and Mr. Joshua.” I always hated when he used our names like that. “Every Friday, you four get together and drive like a few hooligans when you leave here, and was wondering what you are doing.”

“Well, sir,” i stammered, “we usually just drive around, head to the movies, or go to a little get together, is that a problem?”

“Oh, of course not,” he sheepishly grinned, “ just wanted to know what my son would be getting into with you boys tonight.”

“Your son?” We all said darting looks around each other, confused as hell.

“Well, of course, my son, Craig. He was so excited when I mentioned that you wanted him to join your group tonight. Here Craig,” he reached over and opened the passenger door, “now don’t be out too late and have fun.”

Craig slowly appeared from behind his father, grinning. As his father leaves, we are just staring at him. Josh hops over, sees Craig and asked, “What the fuck you doing here ate-a-lot,” and sits down in the back seat in the already opened door. Charlie reaches over and punches him in the left arm, telling him to be nice.

“He’s apparently joining us tonight, per his dad, so shut up and let him in” I said shaking my head in disbelief. Josh got out of the car, pointed to the middle seat, and said harshly “get in, lots”.

Craig got in the car and immediately started chatting. That nervous chatter where you don’t breath you just talk to have some kinda of noise. We screeched out of the parking lot, and about two blocks down the road, I slammed on the breaks and pulled over. I turned around staring at Craig and said. “Plead, just shut the fuck up, Craig. Do not speak. Do not think. Do not waste my oxygen. I don’t know why you are here but we are stuck with each other for the night. All five of us. You will not speak a word about our antics, to anyone. Now, since you are in the middle seat, you are responsible for our beer. If someone is getting low, your only job is to pass them a fresh beer from the back. K?”

He nodded nervously, but I knew he was happy just to not have to spend another night listening to Bach or Chopin. So we left and started drinking. All was going good as we drove around, when all of a sudden, Craig says, “um guys, how long are we gonna continue to drive with these cops behind us?” I look in my review mirror and see three cops with lights blaring. How I did'nt notice, I have no clue, but there they were. Oh shit. I see the school up ahead and pull into the band parking lot. We called it that because it rested beside the band room entrance that lead to the rest of the school.

we pull in. The three cop cars pull in around us and all three drivers hop out with guns drawn. I, stupidly, hopped out with hands up in the air. Before I could say anything, I hear, in a familiar voice, “Drew? Is that you?” It was my neighbor, and fortunately a police officer. “What the hell are you boys doing?” He then turned to the other two cops and told them it was ok, that he had it from here. He walked over and saw the rest of the guys and Craig. He slowly asks, “Is that…Craig? Craig Adelot? What is he…” I interrupted him saying, “long story, but he’s hanging with us tonight.”

“Why don’t you boys pull over to the band wall there, and i will pull up on your right. Drew, once over there, you need to get out of the car and come talk to me, understood?“I nod up and down and get back in. I tell the guys to shut up and I will handle everything.

We pull up to the band wall, I get out and walk over to Officer Wright. “Get in,” he said. I walked around the front of the car and open the front passenger door and get in. He turns to me and asks, “What the hell were you three doing? Do you realize that rookie cop saw you blasting through not one but four, FOUR, stop signs? He didn’t know what the hell was happening! Your lucky he didn’t start shooting your ass when you jumped out of your car like an idiot.” The whole time he kept ripping into my ass. While I was listening and nodding my head in understanding, i could see my car rocking back and forth. Out of no where Josh opens the door and gets out. I continue to nod at Officer Wright as I look over his should at what was going on.He looks in my direction and with a grin puts a finger to his lips and starts walking towards the front of the building. He walks up to the far corner, just at the edge of the headlights shining on the wall. With his back turned, a dark stain on the wall appears. He’s fucking peeing on the wall. Trying to keep a straight face I watch in horror as Josh shakes and runs back to the car. Once in the car, i see it rocking around a few more times, violently this time, and all the windows roll down.

“Well, Drew, what else do you have to say for yourself?” Officer Wright questions. “I understand sir. Will pay more attention and will slow down. Absolutely right, I was being stupid and uncaring of others.” “Good. I am going to let you off with a warning. A few last things. One, we are going to drop Craig off at home. Where are you boys heading after that?” “Charlie’s” I said without thinking. “Okay. When we arrive at Charlie’s I want the rest of you to go in and not leave for the rest of the night. And when you get there I want one of his parents to wave at me. And last, Tell Josh if he has to take a piss again, not to do it in front of a cop car, the port-o-potties are right over there.”

I get out of the car and hurriedly get back in mine. I immediately start chewing all the guys out, especially Josh, for being such an idiot. As I am looking around I see Kyle, Josh, and Charlie all have their shirts pulled up around their noses. “What the hell are ya’ll doing?” I ask. “Josh pulls down his shirt just enough to mumble out in a giggle "take a smell,” and just as fast pulled it back up. I take in a big draw. The absolute horrible stench that singed my noise hairs was gut wrenching. I never smelled a smell so foul in all my life. “What the hell is that?” I ask as I quickly followed suit with the rest of them. Josh now laughing hysterically, while pointing at Craig, says, “Craig…he shit himself. He was so scared he shit himself!” I could not believe it. He shit himself in my car. I had it with him. The whole time as we drove to Craig’s, I was cursing so much, I think I invented at least four new words. We pull at the edge of his driveway. Josh gets out. Craig slowly gets out and starts walking up the driveway, looking like a cowboy who has been on his horse all day. Josh runs back and while laughing some more, tells Officer Wright. I look in my review mirror and see Officer Wright face palm and shakes his head. Josh runs back and gets back in.

We leave Craig’s and I tell the guys where we are going next. Charlie, stutters out, “Guys, my parents are out of town, what are we gonna do?” As we are going back and forth trying to plan out what we are going to get out of this mess, I see a glimmer in Charlie’s eyes. We pull up to Charlie’s, and before I even get the car in park, Charlie hops out and takes off running to his front door. “Fucker is gonna lock us out!” Josh says as he darts out behind him. Kyle and I look at each other, shrug our shoulders and get out of the car. We get inside after the other two and Josh is pacing in the living room. “He’s fucking locked himself in his parents room, what the hell is he doing?” He asked rhetorically. And then Charlie, or should I say Charlie’s “mom” appeared. Charlie had run into his parents room, grabbed his moms bathrobe, bra, and a mop head that was kept under the sink. Bra was stuffed with socks. Mop head on his head with the rest of handle down the back of his shirt, he tied a towel around his head, and threw on the bathrobe over everything. The three of us are staring st him and Kyle says, “No way in hell this is going to work. Charlie walks over to the front glass door. Half peeks out and gives a wave at Officer Wright. Officer Wright acknowledges with a quick "bleep bleep” of the siren and pulls off.

I collapse on the couch in amazement. That just happened. Tonight I was almost shot down by an itchy finger rookie, Craig shit himself in my car, and we fooled a cop with a mop head and a bathrobe. My night is complete. I lost my buzz an hour ago, Im going to sleep.

#short story #growing up #friends #frienship

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enigmaisfollows-blog · 8 years ago

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Is it still there?

This happened when i was around thirteen. I was mostly a good kid. I was always in the center of attention when conversations emerged and I usually expressed my opinion quite directly towards other people which was both good and bad thing. I lived in a small apartment in the city and i had my own room which was the quietest place on earth. Only the sound of passing cars on the street was able to break the silence and it was so apart from one another that I didn’t pay it any attention. Everything was normal until that one night. That moment that got me wishing never to fall asleep in the dark again. That half an hour that broke my sanity like hammer breaks ceramics. With ease, fast and the result is devastating. It was Tuesday night. As per usual i stay late to play video games with my friends. I considered myself to be a “night owl” although i didn’t like going outside at night, nor going to parties, nightclubs or whatever other people did during the resting period.

The games finished, we won most of them and then said good night. The skype call fell apart as one by one all of us turned off our computers and prepared to go to the warmth of the cosy little fortress - the bed. Impenetrable walls, warm rooms (well, i guess it’s a warm room instead of plural, but i personally imagined a whole kingdom underneath what i called “The Plasma Shield” that protected my world) and resting places. As a tradition i watched YouTube for another fifteen minutes or so and switched off my phone. I usually fall asleep on my back. I don’t know how i got this habit but time made it so i cant fall asleep in any other position. It was a night like every other. At one point i awoke. I was both thirsty and a bit hungry. I lied a few more moments to get myself to get up but when i tried i couldn’t. My muscles were just not working. I started wondering whether im sleeping still or not, but i could clearly see everything around me and i could still move my eyes freely so i could not have been still asleep. A sudden pressure was applied to my chest and for a brief moment i struggled for air. Small panic started lurking inside me. I always had a small fear off darkness. The nighttime was horrifically silent. Which was nothing out of the ordinary, but inside me was the thought of the pressure i felt. Then i heard a noise. A small creak. My eyes quickly tried to fix on its source as the panic swiftly arose and root itself inside my chest making me take my time every time i breathe in. I couldn’t identified what made the noise i heard. It was nighttime as well so my vision was obscured. Then i heard it again. This time louder. My eyes did not miss their target this time. My sight was strictly fixed on the door handle as it slowly moved down. I felt my heart bashing into my chest. I felt the speed in which my blood flooded every part of my body but i was still rooted on top of my bed. I tried to make a sound but my mouth wouldn’t open. No noise would come out. I thought that this must be either my mother or my sister. But my sister never ever woke from her sleep and my mother is the type of person who would slam open the door. As this thought passed my head i realized that the door had already been half open. I desperately focused to see who was holding the handle but i did not see anyone. Darkness. Pure darkness was the only visible thing to me. Ice cold sweat started dripping off my forehead. I was sure that if this wasn’t a thief that was going to kill me then i would die from a heart attack. I was almost sure i could hear my heart beating as of it was its last time. That thought made my body shake with fear. But of course i couldn’t move a muscle so in my mind i fell into tremor. Not a few moments later i saw it... Crawling down on the floor and towards the bed which was a few feet in front of the door itself and a little seventy degrees right. It did not crawl on legs or arms. At least i did not see any. I was not able to move so when it came next to my bed i couldn’t get myself up to look down at it. I turned my eyes to the ceiling and started telling myself a bedtime prayer that i hadn’t said in several years. I felt its presence. Slowly climbing up the bed, putting its hard hands on top of my stomach to pull itself up. It hurt. My eyes filled with tears. Was this my end? Was this how dying felt? A feeling of terror hugged my heart as it was ready to blow itself any second. My peripheral vision betrayed me as i saw a white image on my right rising up and slowly creeping up above my head. It looked me dead in the eyes.. Except.. It did not had any eyes. Its face was pale white. Only a deathly grin and a white smile that resembled something teared from a horror movie. My eyes started crying, tears falling down my cheeks like waterfall. Inside i was crying out loud but on the outside only my tears were indication of what was happening inside me. I was absolutely numb. It rose its one hand above my face. Its fingers were replaced for claws as it was about to teach my forehead. I tried to close my eyes but it came closer to my face. I could see more clearly its hollow expression. Its grin was horrifying. It was as it was telling me that my time had finally come. The terror i felt i cannot explain in words as it is close to seeing death itself. It stopped right before it touched my face and there it stayed. I did not see any eyes but i felt its stare. My brain froze. My thoughts died. My feelings consumed by this one feeling of horror. It tilted its head slightly around fifty degrees. I was already wet all around. I looked like i went to the bathroom to take a shower and went straight to bed afterwards. My heart suddenly stopped beating as fast as it did. My first thought was that i died. At this moment i instinctively blinked. When i opened my eyes again it was to turn off the alarm that was ringing that annoying tune of an office phone. I jumped out of my bed shaking from what had happened a few minutes ago. I could move. But my voice was gone. It was time to get up. I thought about my experience for a several minutes. It must have been a dream. There is no other explanation. I turned my head at the window, but somehow it was still nighttime. I looked at the clock only to see that i had slept for exactly one hour and it is two thirty during the night. That cold sweat slowly covered my body as i slowly turned my head around only to see my door widely open.

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