#i just saw that i passed that 40k line

[thelonelyshore-if]

I officially passed 40k words written this month tonight, and I'm psyched about it. I've managed to write every single day, too, which feels monumental after the writer's block I was dealing with.

Honestly I'm mostly sharing because I've gone from slightly dreading this chapter to immensely enjoying it. I wish I could get it out to you all right now, but there are so many moving parts. Like. So many. So much for a simple, not complex chapter, haha.

[lamuradex]

Novella November: Day 7

@novella-november One Week Update!

A week already. And yet it feels like it should be longer.

Anyway, wordcount.

My Current Wordcount: 15,882

Alright, that's more than I expected. I've only just realised I've passed the half way point. I'll say, the TrackBear leaderboard is acting as quite the motivator. That line graph. I'm getting a little competitive.

Whatever, I'm enjoying myself. And it's a good distraction from certain world politics going on... More importantly, this is just a story I've wanted to write for ages, Ninth Realm, and I love having a good excuse to write with a challenge like this!

AND, as I did back in September for 40K in 42 Days, I'm gonna start posting large-ish snippets of what I've been writing with each update.

So, snippet time.

This snippet is an early pivotal moment in the story, where Angela is finally given a voice... literally. She's been mute up until now and has had some trouble communicating, with only a vague grasp of sign language and some written words.

Snippet below the cut!

Elsewhere in the building, Angela, as was now her name, was sat in a cell. The door was open, unlocked, and the bed given fresh linens. It honestly was just a barely decorated bedroom with a solid door and a camera in the corner. One of them, Hunter, had promised to switch the camera off.

She sat back on the bed, alone with her thoughts. She often was. Unable to speak, socialising was a rarity. But these seemed like good people, the friendly Pheobe, her nervous looking paramour, big kind Hunter, stern Mike, the man Reggie who she hadn’t really met yet… and then that pleasant doctor. Simon. Polite and caring. It was a long time since someone had properly cared. She wasn’t even sure how long.

Her dour thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. It waited, clearly expecting a response, but Angela didn’t have a method of answering. The visitor eventually worked this out, and opened the door, Pheobe popping her head in.

“Hi. Sorry, forgot you couldn’t answer. How are you settling in?”

Angela gave a thumbs up. There was nothing to complain about, really.

“Cool. I just wanted to come down and check on you. Also, I thought I’d bring you some clothes.” She produced a pile from behind her back. “Those bandages look a little chilly, you know? I’ve got nothing again the au naturel look, but I thought you’d like the option. Just some of Jess’s old things that she never wears. She prefers to make a statement with her clothes, as you likely saw. I think she’s also a bit bigger than you, so you might need a belt, but it’ll do for now. So… enjoy.” She put down the clothes and stepped back.

Angela accepted them with a genuine smile. She had no trouble with the au naturel look either, but now that she mentioned it, it was a little cold in here. And she did generally prefer to wear clothes.

“Also… there was something else,” Pheobe said a little more hesitantly. “I don’t know if this is stupid or not, but I made you something.”

Angela curved an eyebrow curiously. Pheobe produced something from a pocket, a small device on a strap.

“I know you can sign and everything, but I’m not a great translator. Simon taught me some last year, but most if it’s fallen right back out of my brain. But I saw the way you communicated using my phone, and Simon said you did the same with his tablet. Something to do with you… emitting emotions, like how I felt yours. So, I just thought…”

She handed the device over, which Angela took carefully.

“It’s basically just a speaker attached to a small computer. Repurposed an old phone with text to speech. I can’t guarantee it’s perfect, but it should work, and it might mean you can communicate without us looking at you or over a radio. And that’ll make Mike happy, if we’re working with you for the time being.”

Angela held up the little device. It was as described, just a little speaker grill on a box on a strap. She tested the strap for its strength.

“I was thinking you could put in on an arm or-”

Angela placed the strip across her neck, laying the box across the front of her throat.

“Or wear it as a choker. That’s cool too. It’s like a voice box!” she realised.

Angela clasped it at the back, and swallowed to make sure it wasn’t in the way. She nodded once it was comfortable.

“It should be able to communicate just like the phone.”

Angela sat straight, focused, and tried to focus her thoughts. To speak without moving her lips. To speak with-

“BZzztt… SPEAK WITHOUT-” the device blurted. Angela stopped. “I CAN… I can speak,” she said through the box, concentrating and lowering the volume. The voice was flat and monotonous, and just vaguely female, but it was a voice. She concentrated again. “I can speak,” she repeated, trying to fluctuate the tone. It barely shifted.

“There you go!” Pheobe said excitedly. “That doesn’t, like, hurt or anything?”

“It’s a little DIFFICULT,” the box suddenly yelled. Angela pulled her new voice back. “It takes effort. But thank you.” She said in her new flat monotone.

Pheobe was beaming. “It’s no trouble.”

“Thank you, Phay-o-be.” She paused, hearing the wrong sound come out. “Phay-o… Phay-o…”

“Maybe I can tweak it a little. Tighten up the text to speech.”

“Phay… Phee… Phee-Be… Pheobe. Thank you, Pheobe,” she said finally, genuinely aglow with gratitude, even if her new voice didn’t show it. “This is wonderful.”

“Seriously, it’s no trouble. I’ll leave you to work out how to use it. See you in the morning, Angela.”

“GoodNIGHT Pheobe,” Angela returned, managing regain control of her volume.

“See you in the morning,” Pheobe repeated, and headed back upstairs.

Angela sat on her bed, cross legged, thinking of all the words she could say. She picked out some that seemed the most important.

“Hello. My name is Angela. What is your name?”

And into the night, she continued to practice with her new gift.

[gritandpowerarmor]

Warhammer 40k Battle Report: Terror Tactics Does Something, Somehow

I started off the pregame by telling my opponent that he wouldn’t have to worry about the Night Lord’s subfaction trait. He was playing Necrons, and everything in the army is leadership 10, down to the Necron Warriors. Welp, one of us was wrong.

Lists:

Chaos Lord with Flayer and Dirty Fighter

4x Legionaries squads with Aspiring Champion (with plasma pistol, daemon blade and icon) plasma gun, melta gun, heavy chainaxe, bolt pistolsand chainsword, Mark of Slaanesh

3x Rhinos with combi bolters, combi meltas and havoc launcher

2x Venom Crawler

Chaos Spawn

2x Single Obliterators

Chaos Spartan

Secondaries: No Prisoners, Behind Enemy Lines, For the  Dark Gods

and the Necrons:

Custom Dynasty: (Unyielding+ Relentlessly Expanionist)

Illiminor Czeras

2x 20 Strong Warriors

1x 10 strong Warriors

2x Transcendent C’tans

3x 3 strong Lokhust Destroyer Squads

Ghost Ark

MONOLITH

Secondaries: The Treasure of Aeons, Purge the Vermin Ancient Machineries

Mission: Secure Missing Artifacts

I went second. I t think this is the third or fourth time in a row. It worked out, but Geez-Louise-Fuck. 

 Four things helped me here. Yeah, I know. 

One, the Transcendant C’tans both had Sky of Falling Stars. An error on my opponent's part, as the C’tan can’t take the power twice unless they’re all taken once, but ultimately not that relevant here. My army was either all single models or embarked on transports. The ability couldn’t trigger by rolling under 1, and the dual Animatter Meteor (same problem) didn’t do much.

Two, the Necrons swarmed the center with pregame move and regular move. Big play, but it put the bulk of the warriors at midboard and charge range once I disembarked. 

Three, the Spartan soaked fire via Smoke Launchers. After a lot of furious shooting, it survived with two wounds where it would sit for the rest of the game. Between my Legionaries, Obliterators and Venomcrawlers, it was ignored all game. It got Blasphemous Machines off twice, and provided fire support.

Four, the Monolith started in reserve. An extra turn free of it shooting and auto-hitting garage door was a blessing in disguise. 

On my turn, I swarmed the middle of the board with Legionaries and the Chaos Lord, dropped an early Obliterator via From the Night...and I just saw it’s two Command points for Daemonkin! Aaaarhg! Still was doable, but the extra command point let me lock down the board center with We Have Come For You from the Chaos Lord. Made the same error against the White Scars, I think. Now, whether the Warriors fall back is an open question, but I forced the matter. 

Urgh.

Anyway.

The next real downer was a charge from the Transcendent C’tan on my left flank. It was on top of a building, and wanted to charge the Venomcrawler holding that side’s objective. Problem is, Fly gets turned off in the Charge Phase for terrain. Between model placement and  terrain height, the dice roll wasn’t enough. Felt like a gotcha. It was “right” but came off snippy on my part. 

I did promise that Terror Tactics would do something. My Legionaries and Chaos Lord did enough damage to both squads to make them pass on 1′s or 2′s. Both failed, two turns in a row. Combat attrition and failed morale tests accounted for about fifteen or so dead Warriors after melee. Not a huge sweep, but it helped break the back of the central Warrior phalanx. 

From there, I racked up points on Behind Enemy Lines (made better when the second Obliterator came in), No Prisoners (Necrons just generate points for it) and primary. I ignored the C’tans mostly, primarily because I couldn’t kill them in one turn.  Ended up with the Necrons being pretty depleted and my army ragged but still in the fight. 

For next time: keep better track of my command points. Read my rules more. Mistakes like this rob the game of a lot of its fun for me, and make me feel like a cheat. I’m going over the game in my head, and I’m having real trouble tracking my command points. I’m torn on how many command points I spent. I probably shouldn’t have gotten Blasphemous Machines off twice, at least

[kaepop-trash]

Unintended Consequences

Cover by: @hyeincovers​

Rated: Smut, Slow burn (very slow), Strangers to lovers

Pairing: JohnnyxReader

Summary: When you took a week off of work for one of your best friend’s wedding— a week off that was incredibly tough to even acquire from your demanding job— there were things you were expecting: lots of drinking, seeing your friends after a long time, the warm beaches of the island your friend decided to tie the knot on. What you did not expect boiled down to exactly two things: an absolutely embarrassing encounter in the depths of intoxication, and the person who was at the cause of said encounter. Neither were you prepared for the unintended consequences that came from your public mortification.

Word Count: 40K (Genuine oops for this.)

(A/N): The elevator thing actually happened to me a year ago at a wedding. I absolutely had to say that and add that everything after that is pure fiction. No Johnny’s walking around casually at any wedding I’ve been to. I also deeply miss beaches. There’s also a playlist I can’t link on this because tumblr is difficult.

Miscellaneous Masterlist 

Day 1

“I’m very happy for you.” (Y/N) said as she took another sip of her drink, holding the glass close to her chest as a last line of defense, “I just don’t understand why you’d have a week long wedding.” She shrugged a little, wincing when she saw her friend’s face fall. “I mean don’t get me wrong. I think this place is something else, I can hear the waves everywhere. But I had to coax and threaten my boss for the days off. She’s also in general just not happy about the concept of weddings, so you can imagine the mental gymnastics I had to pull.” She took another sip of her drink, frowning down at the now empty glass when she realised that the bottom of the glass was mostly the remains of the melting ice cube.

“That’s because your boss is a frigid bitch, (Y/N).” Sooyoung rolled her eyes, making (Y/N) giggle. “I’m one of your best friends? Plus!” She pointed a finger dramatically, clearly a little drunk, “We both know your boss isn’t going to fire your workaholic, competent ass. She’s practically grooming you to be her. So just be happy for me okay?” She pouted at her.

“I am happy for you.” (Y/N) smiled for emphasis but Sooyoung just rolled her eyes.

“And enjoy you time? Go get a tan on the beach or something, swim a little. This is your first vacation in what? Three years? Consider it my gift to you.” She waved her hand like a fairy godmother.

“Two years.” She stuck her tongue out and Sooyoung stuck hers right back. “I am saving up for a new apartment, you know that.” 

Sooyoung gave her a wide tight-lipped smile, “Hence the gift part. You work too hard and you were going to die of a Vitamin D deficiency if I didn’t save you and whisk you away.” Sooyoung picked up two glasses from a server passing by and handed her one glass. (Y/N) scrunched her nose, usually particular about her drinks, but it was Sooyoung’s wedding week. So she drank it anyway.

“You could have spared me the work day by letting me booking an evening flight at the very least, you know. Your Groom isn’t even here yet! Taking a week off is too much to ask from my boss.” She continued defending herself, more out of jest now.

“He’s coming later tonight. It was a flight problem. Plus he insisted he come with all his groomsmen.” She rolled her eyes like it was a dumb idea.

“So exactly like you did?” (Y/N) raised a brow and Sooyoung smiled slyly. “So Doyoung and you are made for each other.” She scoffed but her friend expertly ignored the sarcasm.

“We are, aren’t we?” She made a small noise of excitement. (Y/N) made a face that made Sooyoung laugh.

(Y/N) groaned, “I’m going to go look for Joohyun, you’re being too in love. It’s disgusting.” She stuck her tongue out again and Sooyoung mirrored it.

On her quest to look for Joohyun, she managed to pick up a drink for herself. Looking around the crowd to find her easily lost friend. 

“Oh (Y/N), just the person I was looking for.” She turned as Jungwoo grabbed her arm. The other hand holding two glasses, the logistics of the balance momentarily caught her off guard. He pushed the glass into her hand, “Come on, let’s drink.” He gave her a wide grin.

She sighed as she looked at the small glass, “You could have at least had the dignity of getting a slice of lemon.” She frowned but he bought the glass up to his own lips, ignoring her. Unwillingly, she did the same, the liquid burning all way down to her stomach. She needed to eat some food.

“This is why I love you.” He spoke after he finished grimacing, “Let’s go get more shots.” His grin never left. (Y/N) laughed at his child-like excitement over the presence of the open bar.

“Sooyoung will be livid if the hotel staff has to peel us off the floor. Plus I’m looking for Joohyun.” She shifted on her feet as the heat of the alcohol spread in her belly, she hated shots.

“That’s an excellent idea. Let’s go find Joohyun and we can all do shots!” He laughed at his own idea like it was the best idea he had. She rubbed her forehead, frustrated with the conversation coming back to the same outcome.

“Can we at least get one of those canapes?” She bargained, pointing to a waiter passing by.

“Later.” Jungwoo slipped his arm into hers and waved his hands, “Joohyun!” He said, making her frown. How did he find her so easily when she’d been looking for so long?

She wasn’t sure what the time was when she got on the elevator. She kept her eyes on the floor, trying to stop her head spinning. In the distance the music still thumped, the bass of it vibrating in the cramped space. 

“Why did we leave so soon?” Jungwoo pouted at her.

“Because you puked in a cactus hedge and the hotel staff told you off for ruining the rock bed.” She glared at the floor, hoping her tone filled in her displeasure.

“This elevator is going down?” Wendy murmured. (Y/N) looked up to find her squinting at the buttons— the one to their floor was definitely pressed. But like Wendy said, the elevator was on it’s way down.

“You guys.” Yeri whispered, “I once watched a movie where this happened.” She said with a voice too full of dread.

“Where what happened?” Jungwoo asked nervously.

“The elevator went to the basement. And this witch stood there, her hair floating around her face.” She pulled her hair across her face for emphasis.

(Y/N) snorted, pushing her own suddenly uneasy nerves down.  (Y/N) blamed the alcohol and the tone of Yeri’s voice for the dread she felt. She tried to shake it off, “Are you talking about Inception?” She scoffed louder.

“Am I?” She looked at the floor, trying to recall.

The elevator dinged open in the basement and despite herself, (Y/N) looked out while her friends debated whether Inception deserved an Oscar. A figure emerged from the shadows in all black. Before she could help it, (Y/N) screamed and covered her face. Everybody in the elevator jumped in horror as the man walked into the elevator with wide eyes. She sank to the floor quickly, keeping her face covered with her hands. Her friends all burst out laughing and the sound that came from her lips were a mix of laughter and mortification. Her face felt so hot from embarrassment that it felt sticky.

“What happened?” A voice she didn’t know asked with concern. She stayed in place, crouched with her face covered. She did not need to see his face and she was glad he would not see hers.

“My friend thought you were a hairy witch.” Seulgi spoke, everybody burst into laughter again. If the ground opened up in the moment, she would jump in before it had a chance to swallow her.

“I like to believe I’m well groomed.” The other voice spoke again, laced with amusement. Earning himself another round of laughter, joining in himself.

(Y/N) stayed planted on the floor firmly with her identity masked till the elevator dinged.

“He’s gone now.” Yeri announced with a chuckle and finally she stood up, still mortified.

“That was the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Jungwoo said with a clap.

“I just want to go to bed.” She murmured.

Day 2

(Y/N) wasn’t sure when she actually fell asleep. After spending more than an hour in the shower to wash away her mortification and intoxication and tossing and turning in bed to fight reliving the incident in her head repeatedly she reminded herself that it was just a stranger— someone she would never see again and who had never seen her face. With that reassurance she finally managed to get a few odd hours of sleep.

At the moment she sat at a table in the hotel restaurant for breakfast. Her face felt so swollen from the alcohol and lack of sufficient sleep that her eyes pressed into her forehead— or maybe that was the hangover that was currently raging inside her skull, she couldn’t decide. Jungwoo scrapped his fork against his plate and she groaned, putting her head in her hands.

“Please. Have mercy.” She begged him and he apologised with a surprising amount of earnestness.

“Aren’t you going to eat something?” Joohyun pointed her knife at her.

“At some point. Since you so rudely woke me up.” She frowned at Joohyun, her current roommate.

“Nobody asked you to drink your weight in alcohol last night. You need to eat or you would miss the yacht party in the afternoon.” Joohyun reminded, unhelpfully. 

“Fuck that’s today.” She groaned, this time Wendy and Jungwoo joined her. She sighed to herself, looking back and forth till her eyes focused on the table with the juice canisters displayed on it. She focused on the large glass containers, frosted with the promise of ice cold juice and got out of her chair with a mission.

After roughly seven glasses, she felt partially human again. Giving into the rising growl in her stomach, she got up to find some food.

With a plate of eggs and sausages in her hand, she stood in front of the coffee machine, looking at the contraption with distrust. She missed her french press already but sighed and pushed the needed buttons.

“Four shots of espresso in one cup?” A voice spoke from behind her. She squinted, pretty sure she had heard it somewhere. But the person that came to stand beside her wasn’t anybody she had met.

“I like the elevated heartbeat it gives me. Like an adrenaline sport but without the immediate threat to my life.” She replied wryly, earning a chuckle.

“That’s quite ambitious.” He tapped his chin, making her look up at him.

“My mom says the same thing. I just like to consider myself a run-of-the-mill addict.” She shrugged, really not in the mood to make conversation while half her body was still shut from dehydration. It didn’t help that this man was attractive and this morning she looked like the claim she made of being an addict might hold some water. She frowned, the man seemed to straighten up.

He snorted and she noted his sudden discomfort with amusement, “No judgement from a fellow addict himself.” He shrugged and she smiled at the coffee machine. The machine squirted out it’s second espresso and she tapped her foot on the floor.

“Sorry for keeping you.” She said sheepishly.

“No rush, we’re all here for breakfast anyway.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. In a better state she’d give his muscles a better look over. Instead she kept tapping her foot on the floor.

“You seem to be in a rush though.” He looked down to her feet. She stopped her tapping, not knowing how to explain that her nature was impatience. 

Eventually the last espresso successfully reached her cup and she picked it up, considering the idea of using the kettle of hot water beside the machine more convenient than the rising anxiety she felt for holding someone up. He looked like he wanted to be out of here, and she wanted to currently cease existing because of her headache.

“Sorry for the wait.” She said quickly as she poured herself the water to fill the cup the rest of the way.

“And you drink it black.” He sounded pleased and she gave him a distracted nod and a concluding smile, walking away before he finished his thought. 

If it wasn’t nine am, she’d have better manners.

(Y/N) realised, rather unwillingly, that Joohyun was right. After the breakfast and a shower, she felt more prepared for the afternoon’s festivities. 

At the moment she stood in front of the mirror, putting on her mascara. As someone who constantly survived on questionable hours of sleep, the bar wasn’t set too high; nonetheless, she was impressed by her efforts to look presentable.

“I can’t believe our Sooyoung is getting married.” Joohyun spoke with a small gasp of surprise.

“Me neither. You’re all starting to leave me behind one by one.” (Y/N) joked, pleased when it worked to get Joohyun out of her reflective melancholy.

“You’ll get married one day too. And that day i’ll actually not believe it.” She chuckled to herself while folding a dress.

(Y/N) chuckled cynically, “There’s a long time till that day I can promise you that. I have to watch you go through your married life and at least a pregnancy first. Just to know that I am aware of what I will get into.” Joohyun blushed, throwing a towel on the bed at her back.

(Y/N) stood toward the back of the yacht, the stern, an over chatty guest had helpfully informed her a while back. She closed her eyes to feel the salty breeze on her face, enjoying the quick moment of quiet. Her phone was somewhere deep in her purse and her purse was somewhere deep below deck. There was no cellphone reception this far out and she settled her agitation by reminding herself that she was in fact on vacation. So she relaxed and breathe in the smell of the ocean around her. 

After her moment of peace, she decided to go back towards the party— mostly to get herself a glass of champagne and the fried chicken that Yeri promised her was the best part of the afternoon.

“(Y/N)!” Sooyoung gestured to come towards her eagerly just as (Y/N) encountered a tray filled with champagne flutes. She raised her glass to Sooyoung with a chuckle and walked towards her.

“I was looking for you!” Sooyoung said with a wide, happy smile. “You are yet to meet Doyoung’s friends, come on.” She put her arms through (Y/N)’s and pulled her towards a group of men chatting with each other. Sooyoung let her arm go only to put her elbow on Doyoung’s shoulder, who affectionately put his arm on her waist. 

“You’ve met my Doie, of course.” She grinned. The first time (Y/N) met Doyoung, he was embarrassed of Sooyoung using that nickname in front of others. Today he just smiled through his growing blush.

“How have you been, (Y/N)?” He asked her, “How’s work?” He tried to make conversation.

“Don’t ask her about work please.” Sooyoung swatted him making the others laugh, “She’s going to go off looking for that dreaded phone of hers again.” She chastised him and he apologised.

“Don’t scold your future husband. He’s just trying to be polite. He would ask me about my hobbies if we had more chances to talk about that.” She scolded Sooyoung back but she just gave her an unconvinced shrug. Doyoung gave her a grateful smile though.

“These are my friends, (Y/N).” Doyoung turned to the other people. “You’ve met some of them.” He said, while he introduced her to them. (Y/N) smiled at them, her eyes stopping on the man she recognised from the coffee machine.

“I’m Johnny.” He extended his hand to her, giving her a teasing smile. “If you didn’t walk away quite so fast in the morning I would have told you that.” His smile grew wider. She returned his smile, noting the Patek Philippe watch around his wrist.

“You’ve met?” Both Doyoung and Sooyoung asked at the same time.

“In the morning, while we both waited for our caffeine fix.” Johnny informed, making Sooyoung smile wide enough to make (Y/N) suspicious.

“You both live in New York, you know.” Sooyoung said eagerly. (Y/N) nodded at her, unsure of where she was going with this.

Johnny seemed to consider the information, smiling with intent. “Sooyoung, it seems you’ve been hiding your friend from me.” Johnny jabbed lightly and she laughed in response.

“Me? I haven’t seen (Y/N) for a year before the wedding. How do you get to meet her?” Sooyoung teased him back and Johnny laughed.

“It’s not my fault you moved to San Francisco.” (Y/N) reminded Sooyoung. She just waved the accusation away, making (Y/N) smile.

“(Y/N)!” Jungwoo’s voice almost filled her with relief. She had started to feel a little out of place among people she didn’t know that well. She turned to where he spoke from, giving him a pleading gaze in hope that he would take her away. “Have you tried the fried chicken yet?” He spoke as he approached, stopping halfway to look at somebody else.

“You!” Jungwoo said, suddenly laughing. “Oh my god, you’re Doyoung’s friend?” He clapped his hands together in delight. She looked back at Johnny, confused by Jungwoo’s acknowledgement.

“How’s your friend?” Johnny spoke, a smirk settling on his face, “I hope I didn’t give her too much of a fright.” Jungwoo opened his mouth, before turning to (Y/N). 

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” He giggled, straightening up when she glared at him.

(Y/N) turned to face Johnny so slowly, almost too aware of how suddenly everybody around her had their eyes on her. She knew his voice sounded familiar in the morning. He was also too monstrously tall for there to be more than one. She bit her lips like it would somehow stop the blood from pooling into her cheeks.

“Oh?” Johnny raised a brow, an intrigued smile on his face.

“Who else did you think was small enough to crouch down so efficiently into a ball on command.” Jungwoo clapped her back with acknowledgement, unaware of how she was resisting the urge to push him into the sea. Johnny looked her up and down, as if realising that she was in fact too short. To her horror, his smile only grew wider. It didn’t help that he was the tallest one around.

“What’s going on?” One of the men, Ten she remembered, asked out loud.

“I was wondering the same thing.” Sooyoung mumbled.

“Let’s go try that fried chicken yeah?.” (Y/N) pulled Jungwoo away quickly, pinching his arm when he tried to protest.

“Why would you do that?” (Y/N) hissed when they both reached a respectable distance. She shoved him towards the railing to satisfy part of her urge to shove him off-board. Jungwoo looked at her with his best innocent face. “He didn’t see me, you know? I could have gone this entire week without this humiliation.” She whined.

“Don’t be dramatic.” Jungwoo rolled his eyes, swallowing a choked cough when she glared daggers at him, “I mean, does it matter?” He laughed nervously. “Just some light fun that you’ll laugh about in a few years I’m sure.” He chuckled by himself, “(Y/N) please.” He blew air from between his lips dismissively to emphasize his point.

“Maybe we should tell people about your incident in the cactus bush.” She narrowed her gaze at him, taking the smile from his face.

Jungwoo laughed nervously and looked around before jumping up and pointing to the crowd, “He’s coming here, (Y/N)! Elevator guy.” Jungwoo whispered. She straightened up and grabbed Jungwoo again, walking away into the crowd. When she turned back, her eyes met Johnny’s for a brief moment. She turned away, not lingering on his smile.

Jungwoo pulled his arm out from her hold once they were two decks below, “You can’t exactly escape him on a boat. Vastly limited escape routes.” He said it like she somehow didn’t understand that.

“I can at least try. You put me in this situation,” She pointed an accusatory finger. “So humour me, Kim Jungwoo.” She groaned.

Jungwoo pouted at her, “We didn’t even get to have the chicken.” He whined earning an incredulous glare.

“We’ll get it on the way out.” She sighed in defeat.

“Or we can just get it when they cut the cake.” Jungwoo shrugged with excitement. When she frowned Jungwoo laughed, “Excuse you, Sooyoung is up to her forehead with wedding nerves. She will skin us both alive if we aren’t in the pictures. You’re usually the one I’d be more scared of, but bridezilla wins any fight.” Jungwoo scoffed. (Y/N) was at a loss, of course she couldn’t miss that. Sooyoung would be devastated. She slumped her shoulders in defeat, giving him a nod.

(Y/N) was too aware of the eyes from across the crowd that were singled in on her, but Johnny didn’t move from his spot. She stood across the cake, taking a small amount of pleasure in a victory that was short-lived. In a week long wedding, she would inevitably have to see the man countless times, especially considering he was one of the groomsmen. At the moment though, she kept her eyes on Sooyoung who looked content as she and Doyoung cut a small cake that Wendy assured her was only that size to not outshine her actual wedding cake. She thought of what Joohyun said earlier in the day as she turned to find her trying her best to hold back her tears. Sooyoung really was getting married and (Y/N) was happy for her.

As the sun set beyond the horizon, the festivities of the day seemed to slow down. The music dropped to a slower tempo above her as (Y/N) tried to dig through the coats and bags below deck to find hers. Why someone would bring a coat to a tropical retreat was beyond her. She sighed with relief when she finally spotted her bag, pulling it out eagerly. Now that they were steering back towards the coast, the reception was bound to return.

“Oh, I didn’t realise someone was–” She jumped, caught off guard. She turned to find Johnny watching her, the same amused smirk on his face— maybe that was just what his face looked like. 

“Are you usually this jumpy?” He asked, tilting his head to the side, studying her.

“I was just looking for my bag.” She held up the object, like it was evidence.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I just needed to make a call. I was hoping the reception would be back already.” He laughed effortlessly, running his fingers through his hair— ruining the hold of whatever product there was in it. Infuriatingly, it still looked really good. 

(Y/N) blinked, realising that she was staring at him. He smirked at her again, looking her over again. Her mouth felt a little dry at the scrutiny, and she resisted the urge to lick her lips. Instead he licked his, preparing to say something. Her phone rang loudly in her bag as he opened his mouth. She yelped and he let out a laugh at her response.

“I guess the reception is back.” She laughed awkwardly, looking away to rummage through her bag and holding up her phone to her ear. “Hello?” She spoke into the object, turning away from him with a surge of relief.

As the yacht finally docked at shore, (Y/N) was sure there was some altar she needed to leave some offerings at out of gratitude for the sheer luck she had today: avoiding Johnny all day. On the other hand, one of her clients had urgently gotten in touch and given her work that she was sure would occupy the rest of her evening. Her assistant called as she walked down the deck towards the resort, a hand on her shoulder stopping her.

“We’re going for a drink at the hotel bar with Doyoung’s friends, join us.” Sooyoung said, her smiling fading when (Y/N) gave her a sheepish one in return.

“I promised my boss I’d be available remotely. A client needs something urgently, if I don’t do it now I won’t be free tomorrow.” (Y/N) said apologetically. Sooyoung sighed but put on a smile. “It’s fine, it’s just a drink anyway.” She tried to mask her disappointment, “Go before I change my mind!” She pushed her playfully.

With years of experience and immense help from her assistant, (Y/N) managed to finish her work just short of midnight. Realising that she wasn’t tired enough to sleep, she called the reception; they helpfully informed her that the pool and gym were open 24/7 on account of the wedding party.

After a round on the treadmill, (Y/N) was in the pool. She sighed as she floated around, relishing it. She loved swimming, and with a sigh she realised that she had been here for two days now and it was her first time visiting the pool. She lifted from the surface, the sound of the crashing waves returning the moment the water dripped out of her ears. She looked out towards the ocean— the moon and lighting across the property making it visible. A sigh that was meant to be wistful came out melancholic as she turned away, taking a dip under the surface of the water. 

The second time she emerged, her eyes fell towards the glass wall that made the gym overlook the pool. Behind the glass, Johnny sat on a stationary bike.

Her breath caught in her throat.

 It was fairly obvious that he was watching her; not bothering to look away when their eyes met. She felt her cheeks heat under his gaze, realising that it wasn’t from embarrassment this time but the look in his eyes. Heat pooled in her stomach despite the cold water she was surrounded by and he still made no effort to look away. She stood frozen, her feet far from the ground this close to the deep end but she tried her best to keep her face up. She realised that her heart was beating very fast. 

Johnny was an attractive man no doubt, but as his eyes bored into her and he licked his lips, she was suddenly too aware of how attractive he was. His lips parted into a smile, the same one he seemed to always have for her— like they both shared a secret. (Y/N)’s toes felt cold, like all her blood was rushing away from the extremes of her body.

All too quickly, his lips turned down. 

He frowned and lifted away from the bike handles, sitting up straight and tapping on his ear. When he looked away and looked like he spoke, she realised he answered a phone call. She was about to turn away when he gave her one last glance, a passing expression of apology and impatience in them. Then he got up and left the gym.

(Y/N) let out a breath she had held on for a moment too long. What was wrong with her? She shook her head and got out of the pool, reprimanding herself all the way to her room. When she got on the elevator, a pained laugh left her lips.

“You’re stupid and the fact that your friend is getting married is getting to you, (Y/N).” She mumbled to herself as she dried her hair with a towel.

Day 3

It was a vile six in the morning when (Y/N) waited in the lobby with her friends for the rest of the party to show up so they could go visit the town nearby and buy trinkets at the market. Jungwoo walked in after a few minutes with a croissant sandwich in his hands making Yeri frown at him.

“What? I wasn’t going to skip breakfast.” He spoke with his mouth stuffed.

“How are you eating that so early in the morning.” Yeri wrinkled her nose and he stuffed the sandwich under her nose in response, making her shriek and swat him away.

“You’re too loud.” Joohyun scolded them with both her index fingers inside her ears. 

Sooyoung and Doyoung walked in amidst the chaos, with Sooyoung laughing at Yeri’s annoyed expression.

“You aren’t allowed to look this perfect at this ungodly hour.” Yeri groaned, making Sooyoung flick her hair in response.

“It’s the honeymoon glow.” Seulgi nodded, while eating a croissant sandwich Jungwoo carried along for her on her request.

“They aren’t married yet.” (Y/N) looked at Seulgi like she was being ridiculous.

“Look around you. This is a honeymoon.” Jungwoo scoffed and they had to all agree with a thoughtful hum.

Sooyoung turned to Doyoung, “Yes, they’re always like this. Welcome to the family.” She patted his back sympathetically.

Doyoung scoffed, “They aren’t as insane as the boys, don’t worry.” He laughed, “I think you guys are charming.” He smiled affectionately.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that was sarcastic.” Jungwoo whispered to Yeri who sighed in response.

“Everybody can hear you. Shut up.” She said back in the same volume, making Doyoung laugh.

Doyoung’s friends walked in a moment later, laughing amongst themselves about something.

“Why are all of Doyoung’s friends so good looking?” Wendy leaned over to whisper to (Y/N)— an actual whisper compared to Jungwoo. She turned to Wendy, raising an eyebrow at her and making her blush. “What? I know you’ve thought about it too. Don’t judge me.” She sputtered, making (Y/N) smile at her.

“Good for you, you’ve got an entire week to explore that thought.” (Y/N) winked at her with encouragement, “Plus I’m sure Sooyoung will be more than glad to set you up.” She suppressed a laugh as her words seemed to make Wendy look away with a shy shake of her head.

“Where’s Johnny?” Doyoung’s voice caught her attention, making her turn to the group of men, noticing the missing one.

“Something about an important buy-out.” Mark spoke up, “I’ll be honest I wasn’t paying a lot of attention, but he was up all night and he’s still working on it.” Mark shrugged. 

(Y/N) looked away, feeling dumb for the disappointment that gently nudged at her chest. She was avoiding him, because she was embarrassed to be around him. She shouldn’t be that fickle, especially over a single moment from across a pool and a glass wall.

By the time the sun was above their head, most of them were loaded with shopping bags. Ten and Yuta offered to carry their bags if it got too heavy and (Y/N) was sure they regretted the offer with just Yeri’s freight. Doyoung insisted on carrying Sooyoung’s bags, but she was kind enough to share the burden.

At the moment, the rest of them looked for a restaurant to eat at while Mark and (Y/N) went in search of a brass bowl. 

“Hey (Y/N), I think I found it!” Mark announced as he pointed at a small shop where sure enough, she could see the bowls she had been in search of. While they looked around the shop, Mark’s phone rang.

“Hey dude!” He stretched the last word with a giggle. Whatever came in response seemed to surprise him because he made a very audible sound implying the same, before stepping outside and squinting at the name of the shop. He seemed to focus on it for a long time before probably realising that it wasn’t in a language he understood. (Y/N) tried to bite back a smile as he walked back into the shop with a defeated sigh.

“Hey (Y/N).” He sounded unsure as he spoke, “Do you know where we are?” He scratched his head. When she nodded his eyes lit up, going wide. “Wait (Y/N) knows!” He smiled at her, giving her a thumbs up that she felt compelled to return. She gave him the name of the market and he tried his best to reiterate the name to whoever was on the phone.

Mark paused mid-sentence, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “Yeah just call Doyoung, the restaurant will probably be easier to find.” He let out an awkward laugh, “Sorry dude.” He chuckled awkwardly. This time she snorted, finding Mark’s disposition hilariously animated. When Mark hung up the phone, he didn’t seem annoyed by her laugh. In fact he seemed amused himself.

“Thanks dude.” Mark said before stuttering and correcting himself, “I mean, (Y/N).” He put his palm to his face,groaning. “Thanks (Y/N).” He winced at himself.

(Y/N) shook her head at him, eyes glittering with humour, “You can call me dude.” She chuckled. “I don’t mind.” 

They left the shop with two bowls wrapped in newspaper. Mark asked twice if she needed help carrying her things but she insisted they weren’t heavy.

“Mark!” A voice came from behind them, making them both turn.

Johnny waved at Mark, walking towards them with quick strides that looked effortless with his long legs. He wore black cargo pants with a sleeveless white t-shirt that made his biceps very visible as he walked closer. A pair of sunglasses sat perched on his nose which made it hard to tell if he noticed her. Yet when his lips bloomed into his signature smile, the sunglasses made no difference. That was the smile he gave her, it was her smile. 

The thought made unsolicited butterflies rise up her stomach and move around her chest.

“Hi.” He greeted her casually, making his lopsided grin look effortless. She gave him a wave, mentally slapping herself for not having something better to say.

“I can’t believe you actually came dude!” Mark gave him a fist bump, “I thought you’d crash after staying up all night.” 

Johnny just shrugged at his words. “I can sleep later.” He took off his sunglasses, slipping it into his collar. “So, what are we doing?” He smiled at both of them.

“Well, (Y/N) and I bought these brass bowls she was talking about on the ride here. They’re really nice.” Mark lifted the one in his hand. Johnny let his mouth hang, looking at Mark mockingly, “Did you want one?” Mark laughed.

“I can’t believe you forgot about me, Dude. I thought we were friends.” Johnny huffed and Mark nudged his shoulder.

“The shop is right there. Come on we can get you one.” Mark giggled at the end of the sentence, laughing at Johnny’s ridiculous indignation. On her part, she watched the exchange, thoroughly amused. The Johnny that stood in front of her right now was so different from the one she had, however briefly, encountered so far.

“You have to buy it for me.” Johnny crossed his arms in front of him and huffed. 

Mark nodded with another giggle, pushing him towards the shop. “You’re embarrassing yourself in front of (Y/N), you big dork!” 

Johnny didn’t deter, turning to her with his grin, “We’re fine with a little embarrassment between us aren’t we, (Y/N)?” He winked, laughing when she gave him a flustered nod.

That was the first time her name rolled off his tongue and for a moment that was all she could think about. 

Johnny entered a few more shops, each time playfully asking Mark if he would buy him what he wanted this time. Each time he ended up paying for it himself. What an odd guy, she thought. She realised that maybe, Johnny just liked to tease people. He sure did enjoy flustering her quite a bit. 

(Y/N) toyed with the carving of a frog. The green of the lacquer used on the bronze sculpture was so beautiful that she enjoyed looking at it for a moment.

“Do you like it?” Johnny’s voice softly brushed against her ear. She hummed in response, failing to notice the way his eyes lit up, “Well, you aren’t jumping in my presence anymore. I consider that progress.” 

She chuckled at the words, looking up at him and shrugging. “I guess you aren’t a hairy witch after all.” Amusement glinted in his eyes, mirroring the glint in hers.

“I told you. I’m a decently groomed man.” He huffed. At his words, her eyes glanced over to his arms, looking over the contours and noting the slightest glint of perspiration from the humidity. Before she could give it a thought, she swallowed; her eyes travelling up to his clavicle till it came back to his face. In response, Johnny licked his lips and for a moment she was sure she felt it in the pit of her stomach. Her lips parted, taking in a breath that betrayed her by shaking. The space between them was suddenly too close and not close enough. The fact that they were inside a shop that overlooked the street was tucked in the corner of her mind for a second.

“(Y/N).” His voice was a respectable inch short of an outright growl. He took the smallest step closer and his shadow completely covered her, he looked down at her with a gleam in his eyes that looked so irresistibly cautious— making her want to know what exactly he was holding back.

“Johnny?” She was almost impressed by how level her voice sounded. How she managed to sound so confident under the gaze he was giving her was not something she could ponder over in the moment without losing that small thread of confidence entirely. 

This time he took in an inhale, a shallow and choked one much to her satisfaction. At least they stood on equal ground now, the idea only made her yearn to have the upper hand. She stood in place like her feet were embedded into the slate floor, willing him silently to take just a few more steps.

“Guys we’re late!” Mark shrieked.

She saw the smallest flash of annoyance in Johnny’s eyes before he took a deep breath, combing his fingers through his hair.

“Did you get anything?” Johnny turned to Mark, no hint of what she witnessed moments before in his voice. She swallowed, realising that it only made her find him more attractive.

Mark nodded to Johnny in response to his question, holding up the bag in his hand as proof.

“Alright, head out then. I’ll just pay for the things I want and catch up.” He gave them both a smile.

Johnny caught up with them soon enough, coming to stand beside (Y/N) so she stood between him and Mark. He smiled as he looked up at the sky, their collective shopping bags rustling as they walked towards the restaurant they were meant to be at a while back.

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” Johnny sighed as he looked up at the sky. She followed his gaze. 

He was right, it was a beautiful day. The sky was a saturated blue, with thick white clouds that moved against it leisurely. The sun was warm on her face but the cool marine breeze soothed it’s tinge. It was a perfect day. One she tried to focus on even as Johnny’s eyes fell on her face and she tried to act like she didn’t notice.

“So what do you do, Mark?” She turned away from the sky and Johnny’s gaze.

“I work in publishing.”

“Oh so you live in New York too?” The thought made her smile.

Mark turned to her, eyes lost, before something clicked into place. “Oh that’s right! You live in New York!” Mark laughed and Johnny laughed behind her, at what she assumed was Mark’s excitement. “We should totally meet sometime.” He paused to take a quick breath, “And I’m not just saying that, okay? It’s hard to make friends in such a big city. I mean, I’m from Canada!” He added like it was an adequate explanation.

“Yeah, if they don’t smile and someone once a day, they get kidnapped in the night by a moose.” Johnny leaned in close to inform her, making her snort at the image.

“And you can’t tell me you’re busy like him.” Mark pointed an accusatory finger at Johnny, making him put a hand on his chest in mock affront. “He tells me he has so much work that he doesn’t have time to eat, and then we end up drinking at his apartment.” Another thought made his eyes widen further than she even thought possible. Mark clapped his hands together, “You should join us. We’re fun, aren’t we Johnny?” He asked Johnny eagerly.

“Come now, (Y/N) doesn’t need to witness the intoxicated recitations of your poetry.” Johnny said, his words making Mark’s face go red.

Before she could answer Johnny tugged at the bags in her hands, “Do you want me to carry those?” He asked casually.

“No, I’m fine.” She responded politely.

“They seem heavy.” He looked down, “Plus they keep hitting your knee.” He squinted at the realisation, no doubt finding it odd.

(Y/N) laughed, “That’s because I’m short, not much space between the arms and knees.” She lifted the bags for emphasis. Whatever thought passed Johnny’s mind, he kept it to himself, swallowing his smirk and nodding.

“I’m just saying, it’s not that big a deal to let me carry it.” He shrugged.

“You have your own bags. Otherwise I just might have taken up on your offer.” She chuckled, readjusting her grip on the bags. He looked down at the motion. “Plus,” She added before he insisted again, “We’re already here.” She looked ahead, making him follow her eyes. He smiled when he saw Doyoung waving at them from an open terrace above.

“Where were you? I thought Mark got you lost or something.” Doyoung asked as they approached the table.

“Excuse me? Is this how little you think of me? (Y/N) and I went to get something we both wanted and then Johnny Suh appeared out of thin air with a desire for retail therapy.” Mark pointed his head to the stuff in Johnny’s hands. Doyoung’s other friends cheered when they noticed Johnny— an odd gesture but nonetheless she had come to understand that Doyoung’s friends were a loud bunch.

“I guess you took my advice after all,” Yuta turned in his chair towards Johnny.

“What advice?” Doyoung asked.

“To enjoy his goddamn vacation.” Yuta chuckled when the table laughed.

“You know, that’s exactly what I told (Y/N).” Sooyoung spoke into her water glass, taking a sip when (Y/N) turned to glare at her.

“We do have two busy bodies amongst us don’t we.” Doyoung spoke while nibbling the stem of his sunglasses, looking at the both of them.

“Who here isn’t busy.” (Y/N) chuckled.

“Yeah but you both like it.” Sooyoung shuddered at the thought.

“That’s why (Y/N) was scared out of wits that night?” Jungwoo hid his smile behind his palm.

“She saw her own reflection?” Yeri added, making Jungwoo laugh in agreement as they both high-fived.

“Nevermind this.” Taeyong spoke up, “Stop ganging up on our friends. You haven’t even let them sit down.” He chastised.

“Here.” Jungwoo raised his hand, “We saved you seats.” He pointed at the empty chairs beside him.

Before (Y/N) reached her chair, Johnny pulled it out for her. She raised a brow at him but he just gave her a light hearted smile, one she felt compelled to return. Across the table, Sooyoung raised her brow at Doyoung, both of them watching the interaction before looking towards each other, a silent communication passing between them.

“Did you really buy matching bowls with the Mark Lee fellow?” Jungwoo leaned towards (Y/N) and asked after a moment, jutting his chin towards Mark as he sat down opposite them.

She turned to him, not answering him. Just staring till he got unnerved.

“Just remember that we’re best friends! Just because he lives in the same city as you doesn’t mean I can be replaced.” Jungwoo huffed, taking a sip of his juice.

“Right now I’m dangerously close to considering it.” She shrugged, holding back a smile when he slid his juice towards her.

“It’s pineapple. I know you like it.” He nudged it again. 

She pushed it back towards him, “The waiter will show up, I can just order one for myself.” She gave him a close mouthed smile.

“Look, (Y/N)!” Jungwoo jabbed a finger at her arm, making her wince, “He said he wants watermelon juice.” He can’t possibly be your best friend.” Jungwoo scoffed, blowing air from between his lips rather dramatically.

(Y/N) laughed this time, “What are you even talking about?” She laughed again. “I love watermelons.” She ruffled Jungwoo’s hair. “And for the record, all of you are my best friends. But if we were keeping score, Sooyoung is the closest to the title.” She laughed again.

“That’s right.” Sooyoung spoke across the table, making Jungwoo turn to her to find her narrowing her gaze at him.

“Shit I was loud again, wasn’t I?” Jungwoo bit his tongue visibly and she laughed again, both amused and done with his antics.

“What about me?” Wendy asked (Y/N) with indignation.

Sooyoung scoffed,“Please, we all know you and Seulgi are stuck by the hip. Don’t try to take her away from me.” She turned to her. Beside Wendy, Seulgi nodded in admittance.

“I love watermelons.” Mark said softly, giving Jungwoo a soft look, “But I like pineapples too.” He said hopefully. Jungwoo looked up, a smile forming on his lips. He pointed at him with a pleased smile.

“We can get along.” He announced, making Mark’s face brighten up.

(Y/N) laughed, turning to Johnny to find him watching her. The smile he had was a new one. She rested her chin on her shoulder, squinting at him.

“What?” She chuckled when he didn’t look away. Johnny just shook his head, resting his cheek in his palm, keeping his eyes on her.

“So.” Seulgi started, “What do you do, Johnny?” She toyed with a piece of tissue, her gaze on him. He peeled his gaze away from (Y/N) with leisure, sitting up straight when he faced Seulgi.

“I’m an investment banker.” He shrugged, not holding her eye contact.

“That explains the watch.” Yeri murmured, making (Y/N) and Sooyoung turn to her with horror. Wendy nodded in agreement with Yeri. “What?” She said defensively when she noticed the glares, “You told me that the best way to judge a man was his watch.” She pointed at (Y/N), making her put her hand on her temple.

“Yeri!” Joohyun coaxed her with her eyes to stop talking, but it was too late. (Y/N) just stayed in her position, turning to give Johnny a nervous laugh.

“She’s right.” Johnny shrugged, “Shoes too.” He nodded in agreement.

“That’s exactly what she said!” Yeri spoke up in excitement.

“Fuck me.”(Y/N) groaned, the embarrassment just piling on.

“Here?” Johnny clicked his tongue, catching her off guard. Before she could process, he moved on. “You’ve got taste, (Y/N). I didn’t know you liked watches.” He flicked his wrist and raised the dial. “What do you think about this one?” He asked curiously. 

She looked at the Piguet on his wrist, giving him an appreciative nod, “I like it better than what you wore yesterday. Though that’s just personal preference.” She added tapping her own wrist, Johnny’s eyes going to the watch, the same maker as his. Johnny smiled, pleased with that, it gave her the confidence to ask her next question, “What is your favourite?”

“It’s a Vacheron I got myself after an important IPO.” He said, like it wasn’t a big deal.

“So you’re basically a collector.” She gave him her own pleased smile.

“Is that good?” He asked.

“It’s better than buying one just because it’s the most expensive.” She shrugged.

“Can we order food?” Haechan’s voice snapped, both their gaze fluttering away towards him, “I’m very happy for you Johnny but it’s one in the afternoon and I haven’t eaten breakfast.” Haechan groaned.

On the way back, (Y/N) watched the scenery pass by outside the window. She tried to stay still as Joohyun slept on her shoulder, and Yeri on hers. Sooyoung turned back from one of the front seats, waving to get her attention. (Y/N) raised both her brows at her when she acquired it.

“You aren’t allowed to skip dinner tonight. If any of your clients have something to say, tell them that the glass ceiling is bad enough without them encroaching on your free time.” She warned in earnest. (Y/N)’s eyes danced with mirth as she nodded at her.

“I’m going to go back and go to the gym for a bit, okay?” She bit her lip. “Then I’m going to be at dinner.” Her eyes edged to the back of Johnny’s head that peaked from on top of his seat. She wondered if he was asleep, whether he heard her words. Sooyoung gave her a thumbs up before turning back to Doyoung to say something, letting (Y/N) settle back into her view watching.

(Y/N) took a deep breath as she lifted herself off the floor, music blaring in her ears to distract her from the burn in her muscles. She relished in the way her lungs burned, her mind clearing up in the way it did when she focused on physical activity. 

She thought about Johnny, failing to ignore the way her insides clenched at the idea. There was nothing wrong with flirting with an attractive man, she reassured herself. Yet, a better part of her knew that she was messing with a person. She fell back on the floor with a huff, breathing rapidly as her lungs adjusted to the rest. She chastised herself again, he was also Doyoung’s friend. 

She took another shallow breath. She tried not to entertain the idea of something more than casual flirting. He was clearly also preoccupied with his job, there would be no need for her to even consider more. A better person would just cut it out, spare the man the means to an end.

She felt the reverberations of footsteps on the wooden floor, lifting her head to see Johnny walk into the gym. She rested her head back on the floor to stare at the ceiling lights, a smile playing at the edge of her lips— so he was awake in the van after all.

He came and stood above her as her slowly steadying breath picked up again. He was so incredibly attractive that it was hard to be a better person. He parted his lips, saying something she couldn’t hear over her music. She lifted a finger at him, taking a bud out of her ear.

“Yes?” She asked, Johnny bit back a smile.

“Need help?” He raised a brow. She bit her lip and his eyes drifted down to them.

She could try to be a better person when she was back home.

“Do I look like I need help?” She feigned confusion. Johnny crossed his arms in front of his chest, she took note of the black sleeveless shirt that hung from his shoulders.

“No.” He paused, his frame still silhouetted under the lights, and she sat up on the mat to get a better look at him. “But I’d like to anyway.” He grinned when she nodded. 

He sat down at her feet, putting his arms around her shin. She was grateful for her already shallow breath and flushed face in the moment. She put her palms flat on the floor behind her, watching him for a moment, enjoying the sight of him with his arms around her legs and staring up at her. Her breath quickened a little, lips parting to take in a breath. On his part, he looked like he was enjoying her attention; no visible effects of anything on his face.

“Well?” He raised a brow at her. 

Bastard, she thought with a smirk, lying back down to continue her crunches.

“So,” Johnny spoke up as she got a few crunches in, “What do you do for fun?” He asked in a conversational tone.

“I have a personal goal of finding the best restaurants in New York,” She sat up, meeting his eyes, “Categorised according to cuisines of course.”

“That’s an interesting hobby.” He grinned, she shrugged at him, trying to think of other things one would consider a hobby.

“I cook sometimes," She added, "Trying to become really good at it actually.” She huffed as she fell back. 

Johnny hummed, “As someone who is a terrible cook, how does one get better?” He questioned when her eyes lifted to meet his gaze.

“You make something.” He laughed at the simple answer as she fell back, “And then when you fuck up, you consider all the things that possibly went wrong.” Their eyes met again.

“Is everything a competition to you?” There was no judgement in his eyes, only curiosity. 

She stopped to laugh, “When you put it like that,” She chuckled again, thinking over his statement. “I think I just like to do whatever I do, thoroughly.” She seemed satisfied by that self-assessment. “I’m not good at a whole lot of things. But the ones I do, I want to do as well as I’m capable of doing.” She added, an odd smile lifting her lips. That was the first time she truly verbalised that about herself.

“So you’re a perfectionist?” He asked, (Y/N) scoffed at the simplification, going back to her crunches.

“Perfection is a myth.” She sat back up, “I don’t strive for unattainable things.” 

Johnny’s arms tightened around her calves, stuttering her movements.

“Interesting.” He mumbled.

She laughed, “What is?” Her head lifted from the floor.

“You are.” He smiled as their eyes met, “And what do you do for a profession?” He moved on from his previous line of thought too quickly.

“I work in grassroots organisation. Policy.” She was going back down but paused when he made a face.

“So you’re a lobbyist?” He squinted with humour. 

She shoved his shoulder with a laugh, “You’re an investment banker!” He grinned at that, “What right do you have to judge me?” They laughed together. He let her legs go and she crossed them to mirror his position.

“Nothing, I guess there’s just implicit bias when that word is involved.” Johnny shrugged, laughing again as he ran his fingers through his hair, the dark strands falling on his forehead. She hummed skeptically at his words.

“My boss works for a Women’s organisation. I lobby for equal rights.” He nodded at her skeptically and she rolled her eyes, “Someone has to do it you know? Otherwise it’s just the oil and gun lobby running around.” He considered her words.

“So you’re an equalizing force?” He asked and she snorted.

“I wouldn’t give myself that much credit, but on the organisational level yeah, I guess.” She affirmed.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate, “I’m passionate about it. And it matters to me.” She searched his eyes for some giveaway, he gave her a smile.

“I can understand why you work hard then.”

“What about you? What makes you get out of bed?”

“I’m passionate about making money.” He grinned, laughing when she laughed out at his confession. “Not as noble as you though, I suppose. He shrugged.

“Hey!” She shoved his shoulder again, “Nothing wrong with liking money. Money can’t buy you happiness but it sure makes misery comfortable.” She scoffed, making him laugh.

“I guess I just like living a comfortable life. I like nice things: good wine, a nice view from my bedroom window,” He paused to lick his lips. “Beautiful women.” His eyes bored into hers with the last words and she hoped her blush wasn’t too dreadfully obvious.

“Nothing wrong with that.” Her voice was more afflicted than she would like. 

Johnny let out a strained laugh, “I didn’t think I would be as relieved as I feel to hear someone say that.” He pushed back his hair again, his eyes fluttering away from hers.

“Everybody wants to be comfortable.” Her brows creased, not understanding his frustration. “And if you work as hard as I assume you do. You have the right to do whatever you want.” She added, trying to get across that she understood.

“You don’t think it’s shallow?” There was an odd vulnerability in his eyes that passed too soon.

“No.” Her brows creased, “I think it’s admirable.” 

Johnny scoffed like he didn’t believe her.

“I’m serious.” She laughed, hitting his shoulder again. This time his eyes followed the movement. “You know exactly what you want out of life. How many of us can say that?” He looked up at her when she said that, the look in his eyes he had at the restaurant in the morning, the one she couldn’t yet decipher.

“I never thought about it like that. Though it’s not entirely true.” He added. When she parted her lips to ask him to elaborate, he sat back, “We’ll be late for the dinner, (Y/N).” He pointed at the clock on the wall. She nodded at him, deciding not to push.

Johnny stood up, giving her a hand. She snorted but took it, unprepared for the way he pulled her up, steadying her balance with a hand on her waist. There was a respectable distance between them, one that she silently felt disappointed about. He seemed to enjoy lowering his gaze to meet hers though, his eyes glinting. She lifted her arm to push him away playfully, but he grabbed it when it met his shoulder.

“You aren’t that strong, you know? You keep doing that like you know I’ll give in and move to humour you.” His voice dropped to a sinful octave.

“I didn’t realise you were humouring me. Should I use more strength?” Her words were brazen despite her weak tone.

“Try.” He dared her. She bit her lip, her bluff caught too quick. 

She had no chance to overpower the man in front of her. Still pride was a compelling motivator and she tried her best. Pushing his chest with a little more force than she hoped. He didn’t budge, moving closer to her to rub it in.

“Do it again.” He commanded. A ragged exhale left her. She added more force, he put his hand over hers, coming even closer and holding her palm on his chest.

“Johnny.” The way the word came out as a whine made her bite down on her tongue. She felt the vibration of the groan that left his throat before she heard it. She wanted to hear it again.

He leaned down closer to her face, lips brushing against her forehead. “The things I want to do to you.” He moved again, his lips brushed her temples. “Slow and agonizing.” His lips moved against her skin. If he wasn’t holding her so securely, her legs would have given out. She took in another breath, silently willing him to just kiss her. She wanted to grab him and do it herself, but she wanted him to give in first.

“Tell me.” She said instead, more to distract herself. His fingers squeezed her palm on his chest, his hand engulfing it to the extent that it wasn't visible. 

His lips brushed against her eyes. “Oh you are terrible.” He groaned again, “Winding me up like there aren’t going to be any consequences.” She heard herself sigh, so aroused that it felt insane to think that he hadn’t done anything but speak. 

When he let her waist go, the whine that left her lips was more lewd than she thought she was capable of making. He looked down at her like she had slapped him. Yet, she was the one who felt absolutely knocked out within an inch of her life.

“You.” His voice came out breathy and strained. He paused, a distressed laugh escaping his lips. He ran his fingers through his hair again, she resisted the urge to do it for him. “We’re late.” His voice was low, reprimanding her. It made her toes curl.

“Okay.” She said, her eyes focused despite the squeak of her voice.

(Y/N) stood under the freezing water of her shower, her skin too hot and her mind too clouded. All she could imagine was his eyes, his fingers wrapped around her hands; his large hands, his long fingers. She took a deep breath, focusing the sensation of the water running down her body instead. Her mind betrayed her again, drifting to imagine what his hands would feel like on her body, around her throat. She clenched her thighs so tight that the muscles protested. She thought about his voice, the gentle but firm authority with which he scolded her. 

She squeezed her eyes tight, suddenly very annoyed that she didn’t have enough time to get off. Though, a part of her guessed that maybe for the first time in years, that wouldn’t feel enough. She felt like a teenager.

“This is what happens when you don’t get laid for too long.” She mumbled.

(Y/N) stood in front of her suitcase for so long that Joohyun had started giving her glances. She stared at the dress tucked into the corner of her suitcase. She was supposed to wear it for the rehearsal dinner, she had planned her outfits according to the events. The black dress she had decided for tonight lay on top of all her other clothes, but her eyes remained fixed on the other one.

Eventually, Joohyun came and stood beside her, peering into the suitcase to find whatever her friend was glaring at.

“Which one do you want to wear?” She asked her. (Y/N) pointed at the dress in question, letting out a huff.

“Just wear it then!” She knocked her shoulder against hers, “They’re all nice dresses. You can wear the one you wanted to wear tonight on the day you were planning to wear the other one. That way your stupid schedule isn’t too shaken up.” Joohyun sighed.

(Y/N) turned to her with a serious gaze, “You know me too well. It’s a little concerning.” She stated. Joohyun just hummed, tired of this conversation already.

“Can you please get ready? You already came back late!” She grumbled, pulling out the dress and putting it in her arms before pushing her towards the bathroom.

There was a knock on the room’s door, making both Joohyun and (Y/N) turn. Joohyun got up and walked over to it.

“Who is it?” She asked.

“Is (Y/N) ready?” Jungwoo knocked again, making them both roll their eyes.

Joohyun opened the door, “Yeah. Why?” She asked with a sigh. Jungwoo peeked from behind her to look at her before turning back to Joohyun as they both came back towards the room.

“Would you call her dress red or more of a maroon?” He pointed at (Y/N) with scrutiny. Joohyun turned to assess it herself.

“I think it’s more of a purple?” She said, unsure. 

Jungwoo huffed at her, “Bae Joohyun, where are you glasses? That is not purple!” He sounded exasperated.

“I’m literally standing right here.” (Y/N) put her hands on her hips.

Jungwoo hummed, “Well?” He questioned her impatiently, “Which is it then?”

“Why?” She shot back.

“I’m learning colour theory.” He didn’t flinch.

“Red.” She sighed, not having the patience for Jungwoo’s eccentricities at the moment. He hummed again, lifting up his phone to type something as he left.

Both of them watched him walk out the room, closing the door behind him, “Why is he so weird?” Joohyun mumbled.

“If you find out, let me know.”

“My god.” Wendy whistled as (Y/N) and Joohyun left the room, “Look at you!” She said, glancing up and down (Y/N)’s body.

She looked down, a little embarrassed, “What?” She chuckled.

“You look like a fever dream. I’m almost feeling protective thinking about how many people are going to be eyeing you up tonight.” Wendy laughed.

(Y/N) smiled at her gratefully, “We all look great. Don’t single me out like this.” Her face felt a little hot.

“Yeah, Wendy.” Joohyun giggled, “You’re making (Y/N) shy.” She winked at her.

“You have no right to be shy in that!” Wendy gestured up and down her frame, “Act like the absolute vixen you look.” She nodded in appreciation.

“Can we stop this?” She groaned, “Where are the rest?” She changed the topic.

“Downstairs already. I can never decide what to wear so I was delayed.” She shrugged, threading her arm through both Joohyun and (Y/N)’s, “It paid off though, I’m about to walk into the room with two hot women and be the envy of the ball.” She sighed dramatically.

“Are you drunk already?” Joohyun asked, making (Y/N) snort.

(Y/N) was walking around in search of Jungwoo when she bumped in Mark quite literally.

“Oh.” He jumped back before looking back up at her, “Oh hey it is red.” Mark smiled looking at her dress. Straightened up a second too late, “I mean, nice dress (Y/N).” He laughed nervously.

“Thanks Mark.” She furrowed her brows but he was already waddling away.

The next unexplainable encounter she had was when Haechan walked up to her, “You look very nice, (Y/N).” He smiled at her brightly, “Sorry, I haven’t really had the chance to introduce myself to you properly so I wanted to do that.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess I’m guilty of that.” She laughed, “I’m terrible with meeting new people.” She shrugged guiltily.

“You know.” He bought his glass up to his face, tapping his chin with his index finger, “I would have never guessed that.” He chuckled to himself.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Ignore him.” A voice breathed close to her ear, catching her off-guard and making her jump. Johnny came and stood beside her, "I really did start to miss that." He smirked, implying her surprise.

"And why exactly do I deserve to be ignored?" Haechan crossed his arms in front of his chest. Johnny's reply was a noncommittal shrug.

“Do you want something to drink?” Johnny looked to her, his wandering eyes making blood pool into her cheeks. She looked away from his eyes, noticing his tie— red like her dress.

Haechan scoffed, “What are you doing to your voice, dude?” His voice an inch short of an outright laugh. “You sound like you swallowed something wrong.” This time he laughed. (Y/N) curled her lips in to stop her smile.

“What are you talking about?” Johnny coughed, giving him a pointed look.

“Please.” Haechan snorted, turning to (Y/N), “I’ve sat beside him while we watched Lion King and he cried till his nose was double, and his eyes half its size. Don’t fall for this nonsense.” He snorted again.

Johnny gave Haechan a tight smile, standing beside him and putting an arm around his shoulder, “Isn’t he adorable?” He told her. Haechan gasped, hitting Johnny’s arm but she could see it flex, tightening around the younger boy’s neck.

“Okay, okay.” Haechan’s voice came out strained, “You’ve made your point.” He tapped on his arm twice and Johnny let go. “Nice tie.” He pointed at it, walking away before Johnny could grab him again.

There was a moment’s silence. (Y/N) watched Johnny’s face turn red as his eyes looked to each side. It gave her more pleasure than she would have initially estimated to watch Johnny get flustered. She made a mental note to thank Haechan for it at some point. He opened his mouth before closing it, before opening it again.

“Everybody cries during Lion King.” She put him out of his misery. The laugh that left his lips was an embarrassed one. With intimate glee she realised that she finally had the smallest upper hand. “Nice tie.” She pointed at it, letting her smile bloom this time.

Johnny hummed, “It matches your dress.” He said like he just noticed.

“It does.” Her lips twitched, “Almost like it was planned.” She speculated. 

Johnny’s eyes widened the slightest bit before he sighed, “I should have known. Subtlety isn’t Mark’s language.” He ran his fingers through the tie.

“If it helps,” She leaned towards him, “It’s not one of Jungwoo’s linguistic abilities either.” Johnny laughed out loud at that, the sound rich and deep. His laugh was an unique one, each sound disjointed in a way that would sound a little sarcastic if it didn’t accompany the way his eyes upturned and his cheeks stretched up. It made her smile.

“How about that drink then?” She questioned and he nodded, his usual smirk back on his lips.

Sooyoung stood beside a table of snacks, with her eyes on (Y/N) and Johnny. She skewered a piece of potato on her plate without looking at it, not noticing Doyoung and Haechan walking towards her.

“Your wife is intimidating.” Haechan pointed out, earning a glare from Doyoung.

“What are you looking at?” Doyoung asked, following her gaze to find it’s source. (Y/N) looked like he laughed at something Johnny said as they both sat down on two chairs tucked away in a corner.

“Johnny’s tie matches (Y/N)’s dress.” She put the potato into her mouth, pulling it from the skewer with her teeth slowly. Haechan visibly shivered.

“It was Johnny’s brilliant idea, he even put Mark up to finding out what she was wearing. I don’t know how Mark Lee, of all people, managed to find out. But it worked.” Haechan shrugged.

“Isn’t that a little too much?” Doyoung winced.

Haechan scoffed, “You know he’s a romantic at heart, always making gestures. Plus,” Haechan sniggered, “That isn’t even the worst part.” He put his hand beside his mouth like he was ready to spill some gossip.

Sooyoung snapped her neck towards him, making Haechan’s eyes go wide. “Continue.” She all but demanded.

“Umm,” Sooyoung’s gaze made him nervous, “He’s trying to act all cool and badass.” Haechan clapped his hands laughing with a shrill delight as he recalled it, “Raising his eyebrows all broody.” He tried to imitate, wiggling his eyebrows and puckering his lips. Doyoung snorted, thinking about his friend— he was nothing if not thorough.

Sooyoung turned to frown at Doyoung, “If your friend hurts (Y/N) I’m going to chop those long limbs off him.” She narrowed her eyes, “You can imagine what I will do to you.” She skewered another potato and brought it to her lips. Both Haechan and Doyoung gulped.

“He isn’t like that, Sooyoung.” Doyoung pouted, “Johnny’s the most sentimental one out of all of us, he just looks all big and bad.” He reassured her. “Just ask Mark.” He grabbed the boy as he passed by, putting him between him and his fiance as a makeshift shield.

“Ask me what?” He squinted, before he noticed Sooyoung’s intimidating gaze. He tried to pry out of Doyoung’s hold but he held him in a death grip.

“Tell Sooyoung about how you and Johnny drink together and cry about your mutual lack of romance.” Doyoung nudged.

Mark’s face turned red, “Hey, that was a secret.” He whined, going still when Sooyoung came closer, pointing her skewer at him.

“What are Johnny’s intentions with (Y/N)?” She narrowed her eyes at him, Mark swallowed.

“He likes her. He, like, really likes her.” Mark lowered his voice. “He made me find out what colour her dress was to match his tie. That’s too cheesy even for Johnny.” Mark cringed. “I mean he promised to get me the Xbox if I did, so I did it anyway.” Mark smiled as he thought about that, “Pretty sweet.” He looked pleased, shaking his head when Sooyoung glared at him.

“He’s not a bad guy, Sooyoung.” Mark said, “He’s the ‘settle down with two kids’ kind of guy.” He smiled before quickly adding, “That doesn’t mean he’s going to do that already. Johnny’s quiet guarded about most things. He’s mostly resigned to his overloaded lifestyle and only talks about these things when he’s really really drunk. He won’t overwhelm (Y/N), he’s very understanding.” Mark blurted out his monologue, pausing when he realised that his need to defend his best friend made him say too much.

“Sooyoung.” Doyoung sighed, coming out from behind Mark and taking her hand in his, “You’re the one who was trying to set them up,” He sighed, “Of course I noticed.” He added when she tried to speak up.

Sooyoung chewed on her lip for a second before sighing. “Look at her, Doyoung.” Sooyoung turned to look at them across the room, still talking to each other in their corner. “(Y/N) isn’t the casual type. She hasn’t even dated anyone since the first year of university! I thought I would encourage her so she’d ease into the idea again. I know she’s a workaholic, so I thought she’d find something in common with Johnny.” Sooyoung sighed, her eyes filled with familial concern, “But look at her!” She pointed, “She looks infatuated.” As if on cue, (Y/N) laughed at something Johnny said. She hit his shoulder playfully, looking away when Johnny’s face turned to her hand, her lips tugging with a smile.

“They look like they’re getting comfortable to the idea of each other.” Doyoung smiled, so did Sooyoung.

“Do we have anything planned for tomorrow?” She turned to Doyoung.

“Not particularly. We have to go pick up our parents at the airport and meet the hotel chef to finalise our menu.” He waited for her to tell him what she was thinking. 

Sooyoung frowned. 

“Why?” Doyoung furrowed his brows.

“I thought we could bring them with us somewhere. So they could get to know each other.” She chewed on her lip, turning her frown to the boys when they all simultaneously laughed.

“I can assure you,” Doyoung pinched Sooyoung’s cheeks, “You don’t have to help Johnny with that.”

Jungwoo and Seulgi caught sight of the circle, intently discussing something. Jungwoo marched straight towards them, Seulgi following behind him.

“What are we talking about?” Jungwoo asked, making Mark squeal.

“Nothing.” Sooyoung said.

“Setting up Johnny and (Y/N) up.” Mark said at the same time.

“Pimping our friends out.” Haechan said too, making everyone give him a disgusted face. “What? It’s the same thing.” He scoffed.

At some point, the both of them had started walking, somehow ending up outside the ballroom. The warm sea breeze balmy against her skin. Johnny was telling her about his top three favourite wines and the merits of each and they compared their preferences.

"Don't get me wrong." She explained, "A Bordeaux is in no way a bad wine."

"But?" Johnny nudged her.

"But." She shrugged, "Don't you think it's too sour? Considering that it's meant to be one of, if not the, best wine."

"That just means you had a set of heavy expectations when you met your first bottle." Johnny pointed out, "And then left disappointed when it didn't meet them all." He shrugged. "It's a fine wine." He chuckled.

"For 900 dollars a bottle, you'd think all expectations would be met and surpassed. Why else would you buy it?" She wiggled her brows at him.

"Because you can." He stated simply, "It's just one of those things that doesn't really make sense." He grinned at her skeptical expression.

"Think about it this way," He continued. "It's an industry, it employs people and as far as the process goes, it's mostly human operated. So if you can afford to buy one without making a dent in your financial situation." He shrugged again like he made his point. "Everything has a market."

"Spoken like a true Wall Street man." She joked, "It's a unique perspective, I'll give you that. Spending is important for economies."

"Exactly!" He grinned, pleased to communicate his point. "I still think we must give to charity. But doing things like paying a respectable wage and utilising resources that employ other people is also an important part of fiscal responsibility."

"You're right." Her eyes lit up as she thought about that.

"My favourite words to hear." He grinned, earning a nudge to his shoulder instinctually before she could stop herself. He let himself be shoved, giving her a meaningful smile.

"I don't understand you." (Y/N) blamed the three glasses of alcohol currently churning in her belly for making her blurt that question out. Johnny gave her a quizzical smile. "On one hand you're a tease." She bit her lip, not sure she formed that sentence the way she had intended when she went over it in her head. Yet, she continued, "On the other you try to match outfits." She bit back a smile at the thought.

"Was it a bit too much?" Johnny winced, halting his steps to turn to her. 

"No." She added too quickly, "It's very sweet. I'm not saying I mind any of this." She paused, knowing that she had a point to this. "I'm just trying to figure you out." She remembered.

"I like making gestures." Johnny shrugged. He ran his fingers through his tie with a smile, "This was a gesture."

"Of what?" Again she blamed the alcohol for the sudden courage.

He looked up at her eyes, his smile replaced by an intense stare. "Do you prefer to be alone because it's too tedious with work?" She felt taken aback by the sudden question.

She realised that they were in one of the manicured gardens scattered across the property, surrounded by dense tropical shrubs and the gentle fragrance of orchids in bloom. She could hear the waves crashing against the beach nearby, her hair brushing against her clavicle in the breeze.

"I guess." She said, unsure of where the conversation was going. "I mean, I don't expect someone to wait for me to text them back because I opened it and then got a call from my boss which made me forget. I also don't expect someone to be okay with me cancelling dates because something came up. I just don't think it's fair." She paused, trying to find the right words. "Plus, you can't really build a meaningful relationship like that, can you?" She gave him a weak smile, certain now that this conversation was an end before anything ever had the chance to bloom.

"So what do you do?" He turned to face her, his eyes burning into her. The gas lamp behind them illuminated his features, she traced them with her eyes. When she felt satisfied that she would remember it she looked down at her palm.

"You choose between the two." She smiled sadly at her hands, "At this point in my life, I would choose my career over a relationship. Will I change my mind later? Maybe." She took a deep breath, a slow vulnerability seeping into her, "Will it be too late when I do? Who knows." She took another steady breath, looking up at him. "But I've worked too hard to get where I am, either way I won't regret it." She wondered if he had his answer.

"Would you choose to be with someone who also doesn't have the time, but wants to try and see if he can have both?" One corner of his lips lifted. 

She stared at him for a second, not expecting that at all. She was ready for him to accept whatever could have been between them as a dead-end and she would agree with him and go their own ways. She prepared herself for that inevitability, coaxing her disappointment with rationale. Instead he said something that she didn't dare to consider. When the shock of it subsided she thought about his words.

"You don't have to answer that now. In fact I would want you to take you time. I just hope we can be on the same page." He toyed with his fingers, biting his upper lip as he pondered over something.

"What does the page look like?" Her voice was small, afraid she might be letting hope pick up a message he wasn't giving.

He looked up at her, "I really like you, (Y/N)." The way he said it, like it was almost inevitable, made her heart flutter, "When we met on the yacht, even before that at breakfast.” He laughed to himself, “Before Jungwoo even had the chance to mention our previous encounter," He bit back a smile, "I thought you were attractive." He paused to sigh, combing his hand through his hair.

She wondered why he bothered styling it so well if he would just do that. She wondered how her fingers would feel in his hair, combing through it like that.

"And as I get to know you more." He paused, wincing like he was bracing himself. "I think you're a real catch. I think we understand each other." She saw the blood rush to his cheeks as he fluttered his gaze away. "I don't want to smother you with all this, though. All this is just a way to say that we have this week to learn about each other. Time is a luxury I hardly have." He paused again, looking back at her with a soft conviction in his eyes, "But I would give you whatever I can afford if it meant we could explore this beyond a 'what if'." His gaze was an affectionate one.

Her heart pounding so loud in her chest that her voice came out winded, "Okay." She said, "I want that too. Everything you just said." The sound of her blood rushing echoed in her ears.

Johnny gave her what she categorised as the most dazzling smile yet, one full of affection and warmth.

Day 4

“Guys.” Jungwoo spoke as all of them walked towards the restaurant for breakfast, “There’s something up with (Y/N).” He dipped his head to look at her face better. “She’s smiling to herself.” He gasped.

He earned the displeased frown she gave him. Wendy put her arm around her shoulder, shielding her from him.

“Leave (Y/N) alone. She hasn’t had her cup of coffee yet, she’ll smack you.” Wendy warned, making Seulgi snort.

“Ugh that reminds me.” Jungwoo groaned, “I have a hangover. (Y/N) I want a cup of whatever nightmare coffee you drink. I have a conference call to attend.” He made a face. She gave him a sympathetic nod. “Why do you look so tired though?” He questioned, “I would have assumed that you’d at least get sleep on holiday.” Jungwoo sighed.

“(Y/N) came back at 1 am last night.” Joohyun added with a secretive smile. (Y/N) turned to her with wide eyes, shushing her.

“Excuse me?” Yeri squealed, “Where were you?” She tried to be firm.

“I was just walking around the compound.” She murmured, trying to walk faster.

“Alone?” Seulgi grabbed her arm.

(Y/N) paused, not exactly ready to talk about this, but not comfortable lying either. “No.” She said slowly.

“We’re here.” Jungwoo pointed at the glass doors of the restaurant. “Come on (Y/N), you promised me a cup of hell coffee.” He nudged her forward. She couldn’t be sure, but she was thankful for his interruption anyway.

“Two espresso shots?” Jungwoo stared at the machine incredulously as she tapped it in.

“I thought you wanted a cup from hell?” She reminded him, “That’s half of what i’m getting for myself. She laughed at the look he gave her.

“You’re going to die young, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” He shook his head, picking up his finished cup.

“Burn bright and fizzle quick, that’s always fun.” She replied wryly as he placed a cup for herself, earning a snort.

“So.” Jungwoo said as they waited, his face changing.

(Y/N) sighed, waiting for this for a while. “Later. Just give me some time to process things.” She promised and to her relief, he nodded.

“Not to press this topic.” Jungwoo said with a grin, “But Johnny is looking at you.” He glanced behind her.

“Oh.” She said, trying not to look too shy when she heard those words.

“And he’s coming here.” He added. “Thanks for the nightmare coffee.” He gave her a salute.

“Sounds delicious.” Johnny spoke behind her. He had a habit of doing that, she noted. Jungwoo scrunched his nose, shaking his head furiously.

“This is a necessity, I have work to do.” He added as he walked away.

“Hi.” Johnny said after he left.

“Hi yourself.” She lifted her cup from the machine, suddenly feeling too shy to meet his eyes.

“A little birdie tells me that you are quite the connoisseur of coffee.” He leaned against the table after placing his cup under the machine’s sprout. Her eyes wandered down his legs, seemingly endless.

She looked up at him, ignoring the blush that rose up her neck when their eyes met. Johnny stood with his elbows propped on the table, clad in black sweatpants and a red t-shirt that clung to his shoulders in a way that forced her to remind herself that it was early in the morning. He looked so good that (Y/N) wanted to groan— no one should look that good at 8 am. 

“Which bird is it?” She asked. Johnny pointed his chin across the room. When she followed it, she found Yeri waving at them. Johnny waved back with a smile.

“I wouldn’t call myself a connoisseur.” She turned back to him.

“To be fair, no self respecting person would.” His words made her laugh.

“I do like the merits of variation in coffee depending on where it’s from though.” She admitted. Johnny’s coffee sat ready and he didn’t touch it.

“I hoped you’d say that.”

“Why?” She inquired.

Johnny slid his phone out of his pocket, tapping it open and standing up from his perch on the table. “You know the island is famous for its coffee beans right?” He came up beside her, showing her his screen. “There’s this roastery I wanted to visit but felt weird about travelling an hour just to go alone.” He looked at her hopefully.

“Yes.” She said, his eyes lighting up. 

“Great.” He smiled to himself, “We’ll leave after breakfast?” He asked and she nodded. “Good.” He sounded pleased.

Johnny was on his phone when she walked into the lobby. Shamelessly, she took the moment to appreciate his frame, slowing her steps. He wore a simple black button up with faded jeans, looking every bit worth her appreciation. At some point she would give herself the freedom to wonder just how this breathtaking specimen of a man was interested in her. At the moment, a smile grew on her lips when he looked up from his phone to catch her eyes. He leaned back on the sofa he was sitting on, putting his arm on it’s headrest and watching her walk up to him with an appreciative smile of his own.

“Like what you see?” She decided to tease him this time. 

His eyes sparked with delight at her words, “Absolutely.” His grin grew into a toothy smile. She blushed at his words.

“I took the liberty of asking for a car sans chauffeur. Don’t worry, I am allowed to drive here.” He added thoughtfully.

“I wasn’t.” Her laugh was breathy, “You travel a lot?” She asked.

He nodded, “Mostly for work, so it helps to have an international license.” He explained and she nodded back at him.

“Let’s go then shall we?”

(Y/N) wanted to appreciate the scenery, she really did. The highway they were on was sparse, only the occasional car whizzing by beside theirs. On either side of the road, the view went from dense trees, the sea, terraced paddy fields and even a volcano. She took all of it in with the sort of awe that only nature could give you. 

Johnny played the kind of music that sounded like it was made for a moment like this, it made her chest stir. But even though that, the larger part of her attention remained centered on the man beside her.

At some point, Yeri had firmly planted in her head that there was something inexplicably attractive about a man driving a car. Emphasizing that it was more so when he did that driving with one hand. Sitting here, she made a mental note to confess to Yeri one day that she finally got her point. She tried not to stare at him too long, trying to distract herself with the astonishing view outside the car rather than the stunning one inside it. She passed the ride in the same agonizing way, eventually falling into her own thoughts.

They walked into what the webpage had categorised as a cafe. Yet standing there, it looked like a fine dining restaurant. The interior was a rich cream beige, the gentle hum of music in the background. Tourists mostly occupied the seats, standing out because of their casual beach attire and sun burns. An entire wall made of glass overlooked a large outdoor seating area.

“Do you want to sit outside?” Johnny asked her. She nodded eagerly, catching a look of the sky that was slowly getting cloudy, making the outside look like something out of a dream.

Johnny placed his sunglasses on the table as the waiter approached their table, picking up the menu. “I personally prefer a modest black coffee.” He said like he already knew what we wanted.

“Me too.” Johnny’s lips bloomed into a smile at the answer.

The waiter scribbled into his notepad, “How would you like your coffee to be made?” He asked.

“French Press.” They answered in tandem, laughing at the coincidence.

“Anything to eat?” Johnny asked her.

“Whatever you like.” She shrugged, “We’ll see to what extent our tastes match.” She bit her cheek.

“Is this a test?” He raised a brow.

She clicked her tongue, “It’s an opportunity.” She corrected.

He licked his lips, “You’re slick with your words. I’ll keep that in mind.” Something dangerous sparked in his eyes, gone too soon as he turned back to the waiter, “We’ll get a cinnamon roll each for now, please.” He handed the menu with a polite smile.

“Do I pass?” He tilted his head, toying with his own fingers as he looked at her expectantly and earning her attention.

“I have exactly two sweet pastries I like.” She dragged her eyes away from his fingers before she got ahead of herself, “almond croissants,” She paused to chuckle, “And cinnamon rolls.”

“You don’t like cake?” He questioned.

“I don’t mind it. But I absolutely will not eat one with frosting on it.” She scrunched her nose before considering something, “Unless it’s cream cheese frosting.” She pondered that for a second, thinking about the last time she had it and then nodding to her own statement.

“Specific.” Johnny noted.

“I can be. Once I come to the conclusion that I like or dislike something, It’s usually hard to deter me.” She stated.

“I, myself, am open to all possibilities. But I’m someone who goes after something I want with a sort of reckless abandon.” His eyes sparked with meaning, boring into her.

“I see.” She shied away from his gaze.

“And you?” He kept the conversation rolling rather expertly.

“I’m usually over-cautious about everything I do.” She admitted sheepishly.

An airy laugh came from Johnny, “Seems like we have just enough differences to make this interesting.” His eyes crinkled in the corner. She liked the perspective.

The waiter came back with their order as she explained to Johnny how tedious policy could be. The waiter placed their pastries on the table, followed by two individual sized french presses and two digital timers. She was suddenly really grateful to have found this place.

“Enjoy your afternoon.” He said after and walked away.

(Y/N) picked up one of the timers, fiddling with it and then putting it down after an adjustment. Johnny gave her a quizzical look.

“What?” She laughed, “I don’t brew it for three minutes.” She shrugged.

“I brew it for four.” Johnny said like he absolutely understood where she was going with this, making her laugh again.

She pressed her knuckles on her cheeks, an unsuccessful attempt to curb the smile on her face. 

He was cute, she concluded. 

“I follow this very particular method, which as a whole is nine minutes.”

Johnny looked petrified at the notion, “Isn’t that too much? Your coffee must taste like coal.” He put his hand on his cheek, resting his elbow on the table and musing out loud.

“Don’t knock it till you try it. I swear by this brewing method.” She defended.

Johnny raised both his hands in surrender with a breathy chuckle, “I’m just teasing.”

“That is your favourite thing to do, I am starting to realise.” She scoffed.

“You have no idea, (Y/N).” He gave her a secretive smile that had no right to affect her the way it did. She just stared at him for a moment, wondering how they arrived here while talking about her very precise routines. 

She was thoroughly intrigued by the man who sat in front of her, she realised with a start. It was the most unlikely moment to come to that conclusion, but it sat in front of her as unapologetically as he did. It was mesmerizing in a way that would terrify her if she didn’t know his intentions already. 

If he thought she was a catch, she thought he was captivating. They both watched each other silently, and just for that moment she would give anything to know what he was thinking. 

The sound of their collective timers going off jolted them out of the moment.

“I thought you said nine.” Johnny teased and she gave him a pointed look. He picked up his press to push the grounds down; she opened hers and stirred it before closing it again, readjusting her timer. When she looked up, he was assessing the task.

“We’ll try each other’s and see which works better.” She poked her tongue out at him and he laughed.

“I guess you like a light roast if you keep it for that long.” Johnny deducted.

“Medium roast.” She corrected him, “Light is flimsy, dark makes you taste that roast part more than the coffee part.”

“Dark roast is perfectly fine if you aren’t letting it seep for ten whole minutes.” He scoffed.

“Nine.” She tried to hold back her smile to sound more offended than she felt.

“Okay.” He sounded unconvinced, making her bite her lip to stop herself from verbalising her indignation further.

When her timer went off again, she eagerly poured herself the coffee.

“What is the point of a french press if you aren’t pressing it down?” He pointed, noting the way she just used the filter more as a strainer, than a press. She ignored him, filling up her cup till the top and pushing it towards him.

“Try it.” She ordered. There was that spark in his eyes again, she ignored it in the face of her pride. “Now.” She pushed.

He picked it up, bringing the cup to his lips. He swirled it around his mouth gently, swallowing it slowly and having a look of deep concentration on his face the entire time. 

He was so hot that it punched out the air from her lungs.

“It’s good.” He admitted, pushing his cup towards her, “Now you.” The real authority in his voice was milder than her feigned one.

“It’s fine.” She said after her sip. 

A humorous huff left Johnny’s lips but he didn’t say anything.

They left the cafe with a bag of coffee beans each, freshly roasted and to their personal preferences. 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” She told him as they reached the car, “I really enjoyed myself and I really liked the coffee. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my day .” Her smile was a satisfied one, Johnny mirrored it.

“Me neither.” He said, “Your company was greatly appreciated.” He looked away, fumbling with the keys as they reached their vehicle. “I’ll remember today very fondly.”

“So will I.” She added without hesitation.

The ride back was relaxed. Johnny told her about the time he took Doyoung to the Vessel in New York and made him climb the stairs, something Doyoung did not enjoy too much. She learned that Johnny’s favourite restaurant was on fifth avenue and that she had never heard of it, something he was shocked to learn. He was also shocked to learn that she hadn’t been to the Vessel yet.

“Living in New York isn’t as exciting as being a tourist in New York, I’ve realised.” She told him. 

Johnny thought over her words for a second before turning to her, “You know, I think you have a point.” His voice laced with his epiphany. “We only went because Doyoung wanted to visit the Vessel.” She hummed.

“If you live somewhere, there’s never a hurry. When I was younger, I wanted to see all the places in the city. So far I’ve been to the Rockefeller centre. And that was only because I had work at the United Nations building.” She sighed to herself. “The park doesn’t count because it’s near everybody’s office.” She huffed a laugh and he agreed.

There was a silence that settled between them, comfortable and unforced. She enjoyed the view, distantly considering visiting that farmer’s market her assistant always got her jam from. When Johnny’s warm palm touched her thigh, a jolt went right down her spine. She turned to him, exercising a mammoth of self control to not look at his hand.

“We’ve stopped.” She seemed to realise, Johnny hummed in response.

“I just thought we could saviour the view.” He looked out through the windshield, she followed his gaze, a small gasp leaving her lips. She pulled closer to the edge of her seat to get a better view. 

There was a cavern in front of them, covered so thoroughly with plants that it was hard to assess how deep it was. On the other side of the gorge, a stream flowed down from the edge of the precipice, a small waterfall. She could hear the gurgle of it as it fell, the mist from it’s fall blurring whatever was below. Far behind the gorge was the volcano, so high that the tip was covered in clouds. Her eyes drank in the surroundings, willing her mind to burn it into memory. She turned to him, rendered speechless and eyes wide in wonder.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He chuckled, she gave him a nod.

“It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.” She whispered, her eyes going back to the view. She looked around, surprised at the empty side of the highway. A view like this, she assumed, would have a flock of tourists.

 They sat for a moment in silence, the splendour in front of them making words feel futile. Johnny pushed his seat back, reclining it so he could relax. She curled up in the seat, tucking her legs underneath her. 

Her movement made him turn to look at her. She turned to him, “What?” She asked. He looked conflicted as he thought about something before shaking his head at her.

“Oh come on.” She laughed, “Tell me!” She insisted. She turned in the seat to face him, bringing her knees up to her chest and leaning her head to the side to rest on the seat. There was a small flash of something in his eyes, suddenly the air between them felt thicker. His eyes traced her frame, his lips parting as his eyes came back to hers. Suddenly she felt very aware of how the tropical humidity settled on her skin, making her feel a little stuffy despite the air conditioning. 

He reached out, taking a hand in his. He looked at her palm carefully, ran his index finger over her digits before he wrapped her hand completely in his, biting down on his lip. She didn’t think such an otherwise rudimentary act would light her entire body on fire.

His eyes fluttered up to hers again, blown out till they looked black. “You’re so small.” The words weren’t anything beyond a simple observation. But the way he said it, struggled and breathless made her sit up in place. “You would fit so perfectly.” He stopped, using his other hand to comb through his hair, laughing whatever trance he was in off. “We should be heading back.” He said, looking back outside through the windshield. 

There was a disappointment that settled into her chest, “Fit where?” She asked, tucking her legs under her and sitting up on them, coming closer to him.

“(Y/N).” His voice was that tone that was meant to be cautious but sounded like an admonishment. She wanted to tell him that doing that wasn’t helping anything.

She took a deep breath, “Johnny.” What she wanted to sound firm came out breathless and needy.

“God, fuck.” He groaned, turning to pick her up like she was a paper doll. She sat in his lap, stunned by his effortless strength. He raised a brow at her and it finally sunk in— she fit in his lap.

“You like it.” She looked up, searching his eyes for an answer, “Being the big strong one.” She placed her palm flat at the centre of his chest, thrilled by the mix of it’s hard muscles and his rapid heartbeat. His fingers squeezed into her waist, giving her his answer in the best way. “You like that you could crush me till I cease to exist.” She rubbed her thighs together as she said that. He noticed, his breathing as shallow as hers. Something about that gave her the last push she needed, she swung a leg over till both her knees dug into the seat. This close, she could smell his cologne, a mix of clean citrus and light spice that made her lick her lips.

Her frame was nothing compared to his. Her eyes went down to his chest, tracing her eyes over it’s expanse. She bit down on her lip, daring to inch closer to it.

“(Y/N)” His voice was a weak protest.

“Johnny?” She looked back up at him, pleased to finally hear the admonishment in her voice. She ran her palm down his chest, feeling the muscles clench under her chest. Feeling every defined crevice, her eyes fixed on the buttons that looked strained.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, baby.” The way the pet name left his lips, she was sure she would cease to exist without him even touching her. His hands stayed beside him, balled into fists but stationary. “I’m trying to be a decent man.” His eyes held no decency in them as they drank her in with intense hunger.

“Okay.” She brought her eyes back on his. She ran her fingers up his arm, thick and strong, dragging her nails against the warm skin. “You be decent.” Her fingers came to his neck, running a finger along the vein that strained against the thin skin, “I want to touch you.” Her eyes watched the vein pulse, a thought occurring to her,  “If you don’t mind.” She dropped her hand, realising that she was probably pushing him.

He threw his head back with a defeated groan, “Why would I mind?” His laugh was deep and throaty, resonating in her chest. When he looked back at her, his eyes were darker than before. “I wanted to take you out on a date. I wanted to sweep you off your feet.” He sighed, his fingers coming up to cup his face, sweeping the pad of his thumb lightly against her lip once. “I wanted to court you.” His eyes peeled away from her mouth to meet her eyes. The combination of his words and the affection in his eyes made a fresh wave of heat pool between her legs.

“This is a date.” She felt herself blush. She would have been embarrassed of how needy she was being if it was anybody else. “You can court me while you touch me. Please.” She whined, loud and unabashed. She felt like a mess, a puddle of pure nerves that was being held up by a mix of sheer will and his secure arms.

Johnny put his other hand on her back, the heat radiating off it penetrating through the thin cotton of her dress. His thumb traced the edge of the elastic of her bra, making her insane.

“One day,” He spoke inches away from her lips, “In the near future.” His eyes held a promise, “I’m going to make you pay for winding up like this. For taking advantage of my weakness for you.” His breath fanned her face, a pleasing smell of coffee and cinnamon. “I’m going to enjoy punishing you so much baby.” She whined at the name, fisting his shirt. When his lips met hers, she completely melted into his chest. His lips were as soft as they had looked, patiently molding over hers.

He was right, she fit perfectly. 

He ran his tongue over her lower lip and she gladly opened her mouth. When his tongue lapped at hers she saw stars behind her eyes. The hand he had on her cheek going down to her waist, wrapping around it completely. She moaned into his mouth when he bit her tongue gently. He pressed the palm on her back firmly, in one swift motion pulling her in and sitting up.

This close, she could feel how hard he was, pulsing against the flesh of her thigh. She moaned again, grinding her hips down on his pelvis like an animal in heat. His thighs tightened under her, flexing in retaliation. His hand slid up from her back to the base of her neck, where it met her back. He wrapped his fingers around it, gently tugging her head back.

“You’re so fucking wet, (Y/N).” He spat the words out, his fingers instinctually tightening around her neck making her roll her hips. “Are you that eager for me to be inside you?” She gasped at his words. “Well?” He added when she didn’t respond, freeing her neck from his hold.

She gave him a hasty nod and his lips curled up deviously. 

“Use your words, (Y/N). You’re so good with them after all.” He ordered, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger, “You were so verbose moments ago.” He cooed.

“Yes.” She breathed out. His lip twitched in the corner but he remained silent, raising a brow at her like he wanted more. She bit her lip, her chest and face turning red. “Want you inside me.” The words came out as a soft murmur. He hitched her dress up with a single finger, moving agonizingly slow as he dragged it up her thigh. When her dress was drawn all the way to her waist, he ran a finger along the cloth of her underwear, keeping his eyes locked with hers. He pushed the elastic aside, his finger slipping into her folds, the smirk on his face faltering. She shivered at how cold it felt inside her warm folds, he pressed the finger against her clit and she fell forward, hand going to his shoulder to steady herself.

“Do you feel that?” He rubbed circles around her clit, “How wet your cunt is for me?” He looked dangerous in that moment: his voice impossibly low, tongue impossibly filthy. She nodded, afraid he’d pull his finger away if she didn’t respond. 

He dragged his finger down, grazing around her hole with an outrageously light touch. “Is that what you want? Hmm?” His voice was rough.

“Yes, please.” She gasped

“Such an obedient girl.” He praised, slipping his finger in till just the first joint. She wanted to slap his smug face, she equally wanted to kiss it. When she tried to ease her own hips down he stilled her with his grip on her waist. “Patience.” He reprimanded, making her pout, “Aren’t you a good girl, mmh?” He chastised further and she nodded. “Then behave.” He kept his finger so impossibly still. The sound of her blood rushing and their breathing were together echoing in her mind, so loud that she wondered how she even heard his soft voice with the clarity she did.

“I’ll behave.” She repeated, her nails digging into her shoulder in retaliation despite the polite surrender of her voice.

“You will, won’t you?” He pressed his finger the ghost of an inch further. Sweat beaded on her forehead, making her hair stick to her neck and her dress stick everywhere. “You’d let me hold you within an inch of your sanity.” She nodded at his words, her pussy clenching at his words.

He groaned at her compliance, finally pushing his finger all the way in. She dropped her forehead to his shoulder, the feeling of being filled so far in with a single finger too much for her to think about. 

She thought about how small her hand had looked in his large one, clenching around his finger again. He pulled his finger out so slow, the wet sound of it moving against her wet walls making her moan. He dragged the nails of his other hand up the back of her scalp, making her skin erupt in gooseflesh. Every single nerve in her body felt battered by his ministrations.

When his finger was out till the first joint, he slammed it back with force. Her lips parted in a gasp, she attached it to the base of his throat to silence her moan.

He took a ragged breath, "Fuck (Y/N) you're so tight." He growled the words out, “Move your hips, baby.” She obeyed, matching his rhythm with a feverish pace. He left lazy kisses on her forehead, temples, eyes and shoulder; a stark contrast to the brutal way his finger rammed into her. When he added a second her back arched, her lips going up to his ear, biting down on his lobe. His wince vibrated in her belly.

“God.” She groaned in his ear, “That feels so good.” Her hand slid down his chest, the other now wrapped around his shoulder. He stroked her hair, tugging the strands gently. She clenched around his fingers again from the sensation

Johnny chuckled, “Your body talks for you.” He murmured against her cheek, pulling her hair with a bit more force and making her look at him. “You’re enjoying that aren’t you?” She gave him a nod, eyes rolling back into her skull. His lips brushed against her throat, humming against it. “Tell me, (Y/N). What feels good?” His lips brushed against the skin on her chest at the edge of the neckline of her dress, never going lower.

“You.” She choked on the word, “Everything about you.” She gasped as he curled his fingers inside her. Her back arched, her chest pressing into his. 

She felt her orgasm approaching, her fingers tightening against his shoulder blade. “Johnny.” She sounded almost on the verge of tears. He gently caressed her hair, shushing her softly.

“Are you going to cum for me?” He cooed at her. She gave him a rushed nod and he quickened pace, turning her neck to face him. “I want to see you.” He said.

She rested her forehead on his, his hand letting go of her neck to caress her shoulders. He coaxed her closer to her edge with words of encouragement and praise, his eyes studying her tightly closed eyes and parted lips. 

Every nerve from the top of her head to her toes fired together as her orgasm crashed through her. She moaned his name out, her body shivering with the waves that rippled to her, leaving her legs wobbly.

They stayed like that for a moment as she slowly came back to reality, her breathing slowly adjusting. Johnny lifted his head, kissing her temples, eye and the corner of her lips. She pulled his shoulder, kissing his lips. He smiled against her lips, cupping her cheeks to angle her face to deepen the kiss.

He kissed down her jaw slowly, “You.” He hummed under her ear, “Are pulling me apart by the seams.” He left a chaste kiss on the soft skin.

“You say that like you didn’t just finger my soul into a different dimension.” She let out a choked scoff. Johnny threw his head back and laughed breathlessly. She noticed the sheen of sweat on his forehead, the way his hair stuck to it.

He looked back at her, kissing her forehead affectionately. “You’re absolutely magnificent, you know that?” He held her face in his hands, “And so cute.” He squished her cheeks together, making her eyebrows crease. “You’re also so breathtakingly sexy.” He sighed, dragging his fingers through her hair, making her nuzzle into his palm. “It’s hard to keep myself in check around you.” He gave her a smile that made her grin. “I don’t want to scare you off.” He joked.

“Like you wouldn’t pin me in place by the neck if I did?” She teased him, biting her lip when his smile faltered.

“I’m sorry if I came on too strong.” He sat up, keeping her steady on his lap with his arm. “I didn’t mean to manhandle you.” He looked away from her.

She blinked, “I liked it. Manhandle me again.” She teased. He looked up at her, eyes a little wide. She blushed, looking down to toy with his fingers, her blush only growing when she noticed that they were still sticky from being inside her. “I think I liked it a lot.” She said meekly.

A thought occurred to her, making her eyes flutter to his jeans, “Though you—” her voice trailed off, he followed her gaze to where she was staring, his erection still pressing against his jeans. He tugged her dress, kissing her with a fervour, leaving her aroused and breathless again.

“When I fuck you for the first time, It isn’t going to be cramped up in a car.” He mumbled into her mouth making her shiver. “Don’t worry about me.” He reassured.

By the time they arrived back at the resort, the sun had already set.

“See you at dinner.” She smiled at him.

“No gym for you today?” His voice was the viscosity of dripping honey.

“I think it’s safe to say that I have completed my cardio quota for the day.” She bit her cheek. Johnny stilled, opening his mouth and then closing it. His cheeks going red as he let out a laugh. 

He fumbled with the keys and she was hit with the realisation that this was the same man who was knuckles deep in her, sitting in the same place he was when he did. And just like that, they were both blushing and fumbling.

“Dinner. Right.” He said. He paused, running his fingers through his hair, “Sorry.” He breathed out the word, “I just wasn’t expecting you to say that. I’m not like, pretending it didn’t happen.” He gave her an apologetic look. Her eyebrows knit together.

“I didn’t think you were. But now I’m concerned.” She joked.

“I’m not.” He added too quickly, “When I like someone I mean it.” He explained.

“Good. So do I.” She added, the glint returning to his eyes.

She got out of the car before she did something that would make them both late for dinner. When she entered her room, she was taken aback to see everyone in her room. To her surprise, Sooyoung was there as well.

“How was it?” Sooyoung sat up on her knees on the bed. Yeri giggled from under the comforter.

“What?” (Y/N) shuffled her feet.

“Oh stop. Mark told Doyoung and Doyoung told me. You went on a date.” She grinned harder. 

“It wasn’t a date.” She blushed.

Sooyoung threw the pillow she hugged to her chest at her feet, “He drove you halfway across the island for a cup of coffee. What else was it?” (Y/N) didn’t have an answer to that.

“Why are you being so secretive? We’re your friends!” Wendy laughed.

(Y/N) took a deep breath, “Because,” She paused, eyes locking with Sooyoung, “I don’t want you to get too involved with this and worry too much. He’s nice, I like him. But I don’t want you to feel responsible for anything because he’s your future husband’s friend.” She came up to Sooyoung, sitting down on the bed in front of her.

“(Y/N)–” Sooyoung sat up.

“I know you’re always worried about me. Plus,” She paused, forming the next thought with labour, “I didn’t want to talk about something till I knew there was something to even talk about. Don’t be mad, all of you are my friends and you are the first people I’d tell anything.”

Sooyoung came forward and hugged her, “I’m not mad. I just want you to be happy. Whatever or whoever that is, that’s yours to have.” She comfortably reassured her.

“So,” Jungwoo interrupted. “Does this mean there is something now? If you’re telling us, that is?” He looked at the ceiling in case she glared at him. Sooyoung pulled back from the embrace, holding at arm's length, silently asking her to answer Jungwoo’s question.

“Maybe.” She toyed with her fingers, her face going hot, making her look down.

This time Joohyun squealed, “Oh my god. You really like him, don’t you?” She squealed again, this time her other friends joined in.

“Depends how much you can really like someone in four days.” She reminded them.

“Oh stop!” Seulgi sat up and swatted at her, “Just enjoy it without trying to be practical. You can think about the logistics after you’re back home.”

“Home where Johnny also lives.” Wendy grinned making (Y/N) groan.

“I’m going to go take a shower. When I come back, my room better be empty. Don’t you guys have to get ready?”

Jungwoo disappeared for the third time, coming back with another pair of glasses.

“For fuck’s sake, Jungwoo.” She groaned.

“Aw come on. You’re my partner in crime. Don’t hold back just because you have a man now.” He pouted.

“That’s not–” She paused, her cheeks heating up. “God!” She groaned, “Just give me that fucking glass you imbecile.” Jungwoo grinned, handing it to her.

“I even got you a lemon slice.” He gestured to the space between his ring and middle finger, where he gripped the slice while holding the glasses. She snorted, pulling it out carefully.

More guests had started flying in for the wedding, making the dinners feel more like parties now. (Y/N) picked a comfortable corner table and stayed there, occasionally coaxing Jungwoo or Wendy to get her something to eat. She didn't need to coax Jungwoo to get her alcohol though, and soon enough she started to feel it heating her stomach and the tips of her limbs.

“Oh my god, (Y/N).” Jungwoo sat down, whisper-shouting at her as he placed another glass in front of her. “Look!” He turned to look behind her, “Two of Sooyoung’s college sorority friends are trying to flirt with your Johnny!” He gasped like he was personally offended.

“He’s not my Johnny.” She furrowed her eyebrows at him. She turned, following his gaze to spot him through the crowd. Sure enough, two girls stood laughing at something Johnny said. She turned back, lifting the glass Jungwoo got her to her lips.

“Well?” Jungwoo asked with urgency.

“What?” She gave him a confused look.

“Aren’t you going to do something?” He pressed.

“No?” She said incredulously. “He’s talking to someone, Jungwoo. People are allowed to do that. You don’t know if they’re flirting.” She paused, taking another sip of her drink. “And even if they are. That’s his problem to deal with, not mine.” She shrugged, taking another sip and realising that she no longer felt the burn of it going down her throat. It was time to stop drinking.

“Aren’t you worried?” He frowned this time.

“No.”

“Why?”

She took a deep breath, “Because.” She gave him a pointed look, “If he likes me he won’t flirt back and I have nothing to worry about.” She raised a brow at him, “And if he does flirt back then he’s not worth worrying about.” She scoffed, “I appreciate the concern though.”

“Wow. You’re so cool!” He clapped his hand on her shoulder, making her stumble in her seat. She frowned— she was drunk. “If I was you I would have gone right up to them.”

“It comes with age.” She smiled when he scoffed.

“You say that like you’re so much older than me.” 

“Plus.” She paused a moment, “Johnny isn’t like that.”

“Oh?” Jungwoo’s voice rose in pitch, “We already know what he’s like, do we?” He smiled.

“I’m an excellent judge of character.” She shrugged again. A giggle bubbling up her lips at the look Jungwoo gave her.

“Come on.” He said, coaxing her to get up. “One more drink and I’ll stop bothering you.” He tugged her arm. “Plus, you need to leave this corner so Johnny can see how good you look in that dress. Just to be sure.” He winked, making her laugh again.

The last drink was a mistake. 

The music had shifted to a slow bass and the lights had dimmed, making her feel more intoxicated than she did earlier. She stood with her arms threaded in Joohyun’s, firmly in place. 

Joohyun had only stopped scolding her for drinking too much, a scowl still on her face. Jungwoo had ran away halfway through the lecture they were both meant to share. Joohyun passed her another bottle of water she slipped out of her bag, something (Y/N) was too grateful for.

“What would I do without you.” (Y/N) cooed.

“Get alcohol poisoning. Now drink.” She glared. (Y/N) nodded and tipped the bottle down her throat, finishing the whole thing in one go, too occupied by the feeling of the cool liquid sliding down her throat to notice that she did.

The song changed to a groovy one, making her sway her hips a little. She thought about how ridiculous she must look, having to hold back a giggle before it erupted. Ten points for self-control, she congratulated herself.

“Uhh,” Joohyun spoke up suddenly, turning to look behind her before looking back quickly. “Are you a horny drunk?” 

(Y/N) took a physical step back at the sudden question, “No!” She sounded scandalised.

“Good.” Joohyun said too quickly, in time for an arm to slide around (Y/N)’s waist.

His cologne announced him before he did, the spicy citrus that made her want to lick his skin.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you all night.” He leaned towards her head.

“Getting hammered.” Joohyun deadpanned. “I’m starting to believe it’s a problem.” She gave (Y/N) another glare.

“Jungwoo said I can handle it. Obviously, I had to prove myself.” She whined, making Joohyun put her thumb and index finger on the bridge of her nose.

“Can you look after her? I need to go find Jungwoo and Yeri. Last I saw them, he was getting her drunk.” Joohyun frowned. 

“Maybe he’s the one with the problem.” (Y/N) mumbled mockingly., earning Joohyun’s glare.

“Take her back to our room?” Joohyun added. Johnny gave her a dutiful nod. Joohyun gave her a last glare before walking away, leaving her alone with Johnny.

When she turned to him, he was grinning at her, his arm holding her waist tightly.

“So you’ve been having fun.” Johnny laughed.

“Don’t laugh at me.” She warned, and to his credit he tried: biting down on his lip. She stared at it too long. 

There was a small petty part of her, one that she hardly met save for when she was lacking inhibitions as bad as she did right now. She dragged her eyes back to his eyes, “I heard you found some admirers.” She teased. Johnny gave her such a delicious smile that she felt her stomach do an olympic flip. 

So, apparently, she was a horny drunk after all.

“Are you feeling jealous?” He teased right back.

“No. I’m not the jealous type.” She paused, the liquid courage aside, she also felt the liquid ability to spill the truth. “I am the possessive type, though.” She warned.

In answer, he pulled her closer. “Really?” He sounded delighted. She gave him an affirmative hum. “It's a good thing then." He paused and licked his lips, "That I’m all yours.” His tongue sweeped over his lips, she wished he’d do that to her lips instead.

Definitely a horny drunk.

“I thought so.” She smiled to herself.

“Oh?” He smiled.

“Are you the jealous type?” She changed the topic.

“No. Anyone I’m with, I trust. You don’t feel that way if you trust someone.” He made a lot of sense, he did. But she was in the mood to be a little shit.

“It helps that you look like that.” She gave him a look over, he laughed.

“Like what?” He raised a brow and she scoffed.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t take advantage of a drunk, helpless girl.”

He laughed at that, but seemingly conceded.

“Do you want to sit down?” He asked after a moment, probably realising that she wasn’t steady enough to be upright for so long.

“No, I want you to kiss me.” There was a pause, she bit her tongue. On one hand, she was mortified. 

(Y/N) had a rule to avoid drunken embarrassment: she just asked herself if she would say what she wanted to say if she was sober. If the answer was a no then she kept silent. She reluctantly took away the ten points she had previously given herself.

Yet, on the other hand, Johnny looked like sin on legs.

“You’re drunk.” He scolded. Somehow, when he did it, it was so sexy that she wondered if there was something wrong with her.

“So?” She could hear the stubborn persistence in voice, almost like she wanted to be told off again.

“Didn’t you just ask me not to take advantage of you while you’re drunk and helpless?” He clicked his tongue.

She wriggled in his hold, grabbing his arm when he tried to tighten in around her waist to keep her still. She turned to look at him. From this close she had to crane her neck a lot to get a good look at him. She fit into his arms snugly, coming up to his shoulders.

Johnny let out a shaky exhale.

She bit down impossibly hard on her cheek to stop her smile, “I was stone cold sober in the afternoon.” He took another deep breath. “I’ll be sober tomorrow and still want to kiss you.” She realised her own breath was shallow, her core throbbing.

“You’re driving me fucking crazy, (Y/N). You know that?” He pushed a hand through his hair, a low growl imitating from his throat.

“Prove it.”

He led her out of the banquet hall, holding her hand tightly in his as he guided her god knows where. There was a grin of victory on her face, one she aimed to the back of his head. 

He stopped in the middle of some corridor, pushing her to the wall and locking his lips to hers.

She knew for a fact that alcohol numbs your senses, freeing you from pain and sensation for however long it held its effects. 

But, being kissed by Johnny at the moment, she felt everything to an impossible extent. Her hands fisted his hair, making him groan into her mouth. His hair was soft in her palms, the ends poking into them occasionally and tickling the soft skin. 

She felt the warmth of his palm as it roamed her body, there was nothing slow about them. Whatever restraint he had in the afternoon seemed to have disappeared and she was more than happy about that. She didn’t want his restraint, she wanted his untapped desire.

When he bit down on her tongue, she thought she would cum right there; shamefully, like a teenager with their hormones unstable and directing every action. She mewled against his lips and he ran his hands up her arms, pinning them against the wall and deepening the kiss.

On fire. 

That’s how her body felt in his grasp. She felt mad with desire. Like it fogged her brain and befuddled her body. He kissed down her jaw, her head falling back to catch a much needed breath.

“You left me a little gift today.” He mumbled against her neck, “I thought I’d return the favour.” He poked his tongue, licking a soft circle around the skin before biting down. 

Her moan echoed against the tight walls of the corridor. If someone heard, then she'd worry about it if they came to inquire. He sucked on the skin harshly, no doubt leaving a clear mark. She thought back to when she managed to give him a hickey, her mind too cloaked my lust to focus on anything else.

“Now we both have a matching pair.” He lapped the raw flesh to soothe it. She could only groan in response. She rolled her hips into his, making him shiver. She did it again just because of his response.

He let her hands go to grab her waist, pushing her back into the wall.

“If you do that, I just might fuck you right here.” He warned. She pouted at him, gasping when he bit the flesh inside her lower lip. “Don’t be petulant.” He admonished.

“You seem to like it.” Her voice was, in fact, petulant despite how breathless she felt. The look he gave her made her toes curl.

He dropped his head to her clavicle, licking it slowly before sucking down on the skin. Her fingers went back to his hair, dragging her nails through his scalp. She placed her other palm flat on the wall beside her hip, needing it to keep her grounded. 

He finished her work, looking back up to face her, “That was for the scratches you left on my shoulder.” He reminded her, sliding a hand down from her waist. “This.” His voice dripped into her ear, his hot breath fanning her earlobe. He smacked her ass lightly, playfully. Still her eyes went wide, not expecting that. “Is for being a brat.” He kissed the corner of her lips.

“You’re going to make me lose my mind.” She breathed out, laughing at her own confession.

“Good.” His finger traced lightly against the skin of her thigh, “Then we’ll be on the same boat.” He pushed back, giving her a kiss on her temples. “Come on, let’s get you back to your room. I promised Joohyun I would.” His voice shifted back to it’s friendly ease effortlessly. 

When she woke up the next morning, her head throbbed. But the cold sweat on the back of her neck and the uncomfortable heat between her legs let her know what she dreamed about. She realised that she had been woken up, looking up to see Joohyun standing over her bed. Her arms crossed like she was disappointed in her. (Y/N) thought about last night, rubbing her face with her palm. Joohyun was justified in her disappointment.

“Please tell me you didn’t do anything you would regret under the sun.” Joohyun pushed the covers off her.

“No.” She croaked, pausing and then reforming her statement. “Nothing I wouldn’t do sober.” She smirked to herself at that. Joohyun let out a snort, closing her eyes and turning away, trying to curb her smile.

“Come on.” She poked her shoulder, “I’m not letting you skip breakfast.” (Y/N) whined but obeyed, getting out of bed.

Day 5

Joohyun and her walked to the restaurant together, the others already there according to Joohyun. They had turned a corner when they heard a voice call her name out. They both looked right to find Mark waving, Johnny walking beside him. He had his hands in his pocket, wearing a white t-shirt with simple terracotta shorts.

It occurred to (Y/N) that while she didn't believe in perfection, Johnny Suh was probably the closest anyone could come to it. 

"I didn't see you all day yesterday!" Mark commented as they came closer, her eyes drifting to Johnny at the remark. He looked at her like he was fine with letting her answer that all by herself.

"Yeah. Sorry about that." Was all she could bring herself to say. 

When they finally reached, Johnny came up in front of her with an evil glint in his eyes that didn't match the soft smile on his face. She was only just raising a suspicious eyebrow at him when he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. 

She stood frozen for a moment, her heart hammering in her chest and her face turning hot, both of which she was sure he could feel. Her hands came up to his chest and she hesitated for a second, dangerously tempted to pull him close. He smelled faintly like a different cologne, like bitter oranges and spice— a signature that would now arouse her simply from association. Instead, she pushed him gently. He moved back without any resistance, a pout forming on his lips.

"What are you doing?" Her voice sounded like something between a whimper and sheer horror.

"Kissing you." He said the words like it was something he did all the time and she was the one who was weird for asking. It also made butterflies erupt in her stomach because he gave her a soft smile while he said it.

He started to lean back again when she pushed back, bending her back to get her face away from him. From the corner of her eye she could see Joohyun and Mark, frozen in place and watching them.

"What's gotten into you?" She glared at him. Embarrassed and incredibly turned on by his brazen claim.

"What?" He pouted. "You promised last night, remember? He tightened his arm on her waist, pushing a strand of hair that fell out of her hasty ponytail behind her ear. "You said you'd kiss me when you're sober tomorrow. That's why we–" With a teasing smirk growing on his lips, he started to remind her. She quickly reached up to put her hand on his mouth.

"Okay," She hissed, "Okay." She levelled her voice, "You've made your point. Now stop." She begged, wriggling in his hold but he made no move to budge, his eyes turning up in glee. When she let go of his mouth he whined; the three of them looked at him like he was insane.

"But you promised." He huffed.

"Maybe we should go?" Mark turned to Joohyun who gave him a quick nod.

"No!" She snapped at them, "We're also going. Johnny's just being exasperating." She turned back to give him a glare.

"You seem to like it." He repeated the words she said to him last night, making her cheeks feel impossibly hot. He let go of his hold on her waist after that, tucking his hands back into his pocket. She moved away from him immediately, straightening herself and avoiding eye contact with the two people who were witness to his retribution.

"Breakfast." She reminded them and more importantly herself, "I'm not in the mood to be messed with before I drink my morning cup of coffee." She mumbled, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards their destination forcefully.

"Can I mess you up after it then?" His choice of words were deliberate. She took a sharp inhale, ignoring him completely.

Johnny slipped his fingers through hers at some point during the rest of the short walk. She tried not to think too much about it, but her heart pounded against her chest anyway. He was pulling her towards the coffee machine predictably when a voice called out to her. She turned to see Sooyoung’s mom beckon her over. She turned around to Johnny rather apologetically, not wanting to let go of his hand. 

She felt sick with infatuation. 

He looked up at Sooyoung’s mom, before back at her. “Sit with me today?” He questioned and she gave him a nod, a smile spreading on her lips. He let go with a satisfied nod, letting her hand go, she slowly walked away to Sooyoung’s parents.

“It’s been so long.” Mrs. Park hugged (Y/N). “Sooyoung is always bragging about you to us.” She laughed, pulling back and holding her at arm’s length. “You’ve grown into a beautiful, independent woman, (Y/N).” Something about that made (Y/N)’s lips quiver.

Mrs. Park was a special person to (Y/N). She never doted over Sooyoung for how beautiful she was— and Sooyoung was, by all accounts, stunning. Instead she raised her daughter to be opinionated and strong-willed. When (Y/N) first met Mrs. Park, the woman took it upon herself to impart the same wisdom on her. Whenever (Y/N) was at their house, she was no different from her daughters and through the years, Mr. and Mrs. Park had become like her parents. The compliment coming from Mrs. Park felt like she had finally made it in life. She hugged her again.

“I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to visit. I missed you.” Her voice wavered and Mrs. Park laughed and patted her back.

“Sooyoung calls you our little busy body.” She laughed, patting her head with motherly affection. “Come home and I’ll feed you okay? You look like you need to take better care of yourself.” She looked down at her, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “Look at the bags under your eyes.” She cooed.

(Y/N) scoffed gently, “You and mom would have a field trip if you came together.” Her words made Mrs. Park laugh.

“I haven’t seen her in so long as well, wow!” She paused, “You kids really grew up.” She said wistfully.

“I insisted that she travel a little. With us siblings occupied with work, she’s bound to be lonely by herself. She’s currently in Australia visiting a friend, nearby actually.” She laughed.

“Does she visit you?” Mrs. Park asked.

“Sometimes, yeah. I feel bad about her flying all the way just to spend most of the time in the apartment by herself. She doesn’t even know anybody in New York.” She smiled, trying to mask her sadness at her own words. It was fine, she told herself. She grew up wanting what she had now, the consequences were just a part of that.

“Come visit okay? Take some days off once in a while. I’m a shorter flight away.” She scolded her and she nodded with a laugh. “Go eat now! That man has been waiting for you all this time!” She laughed pushing her. (Y/N) turned away, giving her hand a final squeeze.

Johnny was waiting for her like Mrs. Park said. Leaning against a pillar and watching her carefully.

“Are you okay?” His voice was laced with concern, forehead creased. Something stirred deep inside her chest.

“Yeah.” She felt her lips grow into a smile, “I think I really am.” It was a rare instance where the words felt true.

He gave her a questioning look but didn’t press, “Let’s eat?” She nodded.

They were all walking back towards their rooms together when Haechan spoke up.

“Let’s go to the beach, you guys! The wedding's the day after and we’re yet to take a dip in the sea!” He whined, pulling Mark’s arm.

“Don’t you dare.” Doyoung glared, “If any of you get sick, Sooyoung will pop a vein. The whole thing was too meticulously planned.” Sooyoung looked at Doyoung, looking like she didn’t know whether to be offended or proud.

“Fine. We’ll just go and walk on the beach. Come on!” He pushed, “I had a whole scenario in mind when I heard you were having a beach wedding. So far I’ve had a slice of pineapple and that’s it.” He groaned.

“Fine.” Doyoung huffed. Haechan gave him a thumbs up.

It was too hot this early in the day, suddenly nobody liked the idea of being on the beach anymore. Haechan insisted on standing at the edge of the water, clearly flushing from the heat but pretending he was enjoying himself for the sake of his pride. The rest of them found spots of shade to shield themselves. At some point, Haechan managed to drag Mark and currently chased him around the hot sand.

“Johnny!” Haechan shouted across the beach at some point. Johnny lifted his head from the lounging chair he was lying on to look at the boy, moving his sunglasses up to his head. “Help me drag Mark into the water!” He said with a loud giggle, the corner of Johnny’s lips tugged.

“Why would I do that?” He shouted back.

“Because it’s fun to tease Mark.” Haechan replied. Johnny sat up with a laugh, giving into that. Mark looked over, shaking his head at Johnny.

“Why are you bothering the poor boy.” She told Johnny off.

“Just a little bit.” Johnny winked, making her laugh.

He caught up to Mark easily, yet instead of picking him up, he stopped in front of Haechan with a grin, lifting him up and walking towards the sea. Haechan’s shrieks were a mix of horror and surprised delight as he beat his fists on Johnny’s back, the action not seeming to make a difference. As they just about reached the edge, Johnny swung him once before placing him back on his feet. Haechan gave Johnny a surprised hug like he saved his life making Johnny laugh and ruffle his hair.

He came back with an easy smile on his lips, perching his sunglasses back on his eyes. Lying back down on the chair and putting his arms behind his head, he took a deep sigh. “I could get used to this.” He mostly spoke to himself.

She turned to him, staring at his profile. The sun illuminated his face below the nose, the rest covered by the large umbrella above them. She traced her eyes on his chin, his lips illuminated under the soft rays of the sun.

“Enjoying the view?” His voice came out a sleepy murmur. He shifted, turning to face her, taking the shades off his eyes and putting an arm under his head. 

She gave him a hum, shifting to mirror his posture.

“Do you ever feel lonely?” His voice was soft.

“Of course.” She smiled, “Everyone does.” She sighed herself. His leisure influencing her too.

“What do you do when you do?” He questioned.

“I call my friends, ask them about their day.” He shifted closer on his chair, “We video call each other, complaining about work and life.” She smiled affectionately.

“That sounds nice.” He hummed softly, “There’s a comfort in knowing your struggles are understood. More than your achievements sometimes. Though,” He paused, a breathy chuckle coming from him, “That’s also its own kind of nice.” He admitted, making her chuckle too.

A figure approached, blocking the sun and making them turn. Yuta stood with Ten beside him.

“We have to go, dude. The bachelor party still needs execution.” Yuta flung his arm at Johnny’s back. Johnny turned over, squinting when the sun fell on his eyes. After a moment he sighed, sitting up and giving him a nod.

“How cute. They have matching hickeys.” Yuta jabbed his elbow at Ten’s ribs, making him wince first and look later.

“She has two.” Ten smiled, “Johnny my bro!” Ten sniggered.

“We’re leaving.” Johnny warned them, whatever look he turned to give them making them stop. He turned back to her, a lazy smile on his face. “I’ll see you tonight.” He promised, “Don’t pay attention to them.” He pointed to his friends, “This is how we treat people we’re close to.”

Johnny sucked in his lower lip, grazing his teeth over it before he opened his mouth again, “And.” He put his shades back on his nose, “Don’t drink.” A smile danced at the edge of his lips.

It was Doyoung’s idea to have their respective bachelor parties before dinner. He needed his sleep, he had told Sooyoung. When he reminded her that she would get dark circles, she conceded.

As they were sitting at the table for dinner, (Y/N) could tell that both of them were regretting that decision. They sat side by side, clearly still drunk out of their minds— their cheeks flushed and eyes heavy. Both of them kept their eyes glued to the table, furrowed in concentration. She bit back a laugh. She glanced around the table. Most of the boys and, even her friends, all in various stages in intoxication. A gentle pout formed on her lips. While she did thoroughly enjoy the afternoon watching her friend’s antics, she felt a little left out suddenly. 

As she scanned across the table, her eyes met Johnny’s. To his credit, he looked sober too. She raised her glass of water with a mocking smile, watching his lips part for a laugh. He raised his too, as if to reaffirm that they were together in their sobriety. She looked away from him, pleased with the idea.

Taeyong, Doyoung’s best man, expertly forfeited his speech by claiming that he would rather give time to anybody else since he has one for the wedding day. The way he spoke slowly to avoid tangling his words together told her that was only half of the reason.

Jungwoo swayed so clearly in his seat that Sooyoung’s dad flashed him a concerned glance. When he looked up to give him a thumbs up, it did the opposite of reassure him. Suddenly, she wasn’t feeling too bad about being sober anymore. 

They caught each other’s eyes a few more times during the meal. 

At some point, Mark even convinced Johnny to give a little speech. Johnny spoke about the time Doyoung flew down to New York without hesitation because Johnny admitted to him that his new apartment felt isolating. Doyoung came, helped Johnny pick out furniture that felt comfortable and baked cookies so the apartment would feel more homely. Johnny assured the crowd that in a weekend's time, the place did feel like home because he had memories in them. 

Doyoung looked embarrassed, but looked at Johnny with love in his eyes. Mark added that Doyoung made better cookies than his mom, but his mom wasn’t a good baker anyway. The crowd laughed and Doyoung wiped a tear away quickly.

When Johnny came back, Doyoung got up to give him a hug— burying his face in his chest and making Johnny pat his back affectionately. The whole ordeal left her feeling warm and soft in a way that felt new.

It had been more than an hour, she somehow ended up in a corner listening to Jungwoo’s unsolicited opinion on the possibility of alien life when she saw Johnny walking towards them. Jungwoo clicked his fingers in front of her eyes to get her attention, leaning further on his chair.

“If you think about it. Like really think about it.” Jungwoo whispered, shushing her mid sentence even though she was silent the whole time. “They’re just waiting for us to get technologically advanced enough to fight in a war with them.” He concentrated on the floor.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to attack before we get there?” Despite herself, she indulged him. Too infuriated by the flaw in logic to not question it.

Jungwoo pondered over the words for a second before shaking his head, “No I’m definitely the one making sense.” He wiggled his index finger in front of her face, “Syria, (Y/N). Think about what happened in Syria.” He urged as Johnny finally came and stood in front of them, peering down at Jungwoo.

“Save me.” She mouthed at Johnny, then not sure if he wouldn’t just to enjoy her suffering.

“You know, I think what he’s saying has its merits.” Johnny pointed the glass in his hand to Jungwoo. He brightened up at those words.

“See? Johnny knows space Syria is legit.” Jungwoo gloated. Johnny snorted to himself and she felt tired, just humming at the drunk boy.

“Want to take a walk with me on the beach?” Johnny asked her after a moment. At first, she thought she would refuse just to spite him.

“And don’t even get me started on Y2K–” Jungwoo began. She stood up.

“Yes beach.” She said too eagerly, before something occurred to her. She turned back to the very drunk Jungwoo with concern.

“I can ask Taeil to drop him back to his room, if you want. He told me he’s going to leave anyway.” Johnny offered and she gave him a very grateful smile.

After they found Taeil, he helped Jungwoo out and reassured he’d get the drunk fool back to his room. Johnny led her out of the banquet hall. They passed the corridor they were in the day before, both of their eyes lingering on the wall.

When they got on the elevator, she felt her cheeks heat up. There was a moment's pause before Johnny burst out laughing, she was compelled to join in.

"You know why I was in the basement the other day?" He questioned with an indulgent grin. She looked up at him, still a little flustered and not yet willing to speak.

"I was the only one who could drive here. So I got the boys pizza." He snorted, "I was so close to saying no." He ran his fingers through his hair, a smile forming on his lips. "I was on a flight for 20 hours with a 5 hour layover after a whole day's work. I was tempted to just order them room service so I could sleep." He fell into some thought, spacing out slightly.

"Oh." She said when the silence dragged for a moment.

"Taeil and Haechan begged. To think that I was so close to missing the way we met." He snorted.

"We would have still met, I mean our best friends are getting married." She didn't know why her voice sounded so intimate. Johnny laced his fingers through hers, watching as he toyed with the digits.

"Yeah." He looked up, "But that's a better story to have, isn't it?" Glee gleamed in his eyes.

Johnny took a few steps closer, "Plus," His eyes traced her face. "How else would I have known how impossibly cute you are when you're flustered?" He clicked his tongue. "I'll have to get Taeil and Haechan pizza anytime they ask now." He lamented.

"Because you now have an elaborate scheme to meet more women?" She laughed. 

He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her palm and making her breathing shallow again. "To thank them. I don't think I'd have the balls to pursue you otherwise." He hummed against her palm.

She scoffed, "Right." She lifted a brow at him.

"See? When you do that you look like you'd break my knees if I bothered you. It's kind of hot." He hummed against her wrist.

"You spoke to me at breakfast!" She tried to counter, her voice meek.

"And you looked like you were in no mood to engage in conversation. You rushed away too." He tugged her arm to pull her closer, pouting his lips. "I was a little intimidated." He mumbled, moving his hands to her hips.

She felt a little dumbstruck. 

Johnny. The Johnny that stood in front of her right now with his dark hair tossed over; in a suit that fitted so well that it had to be custom tailored. The Johnny who currently towered over her frame and looked at her with eyes that bore into hers. This Johnny was intimidated by her?

"Don't be ridiculous." She sounded dazed, before a perplexed laugh came from her lips. "You're just teasing."

"I swear it." He smiled, coming closer to kiss her temples. "When you realised I was the same person from the elevator, you looked so flustered." He chuckled against her ear. "I thought to myself, 'I'd risk getting my knees kicked in just to get a few words in with you'. I was really hoping my charms would work." She lifted her neck as lips went towards her throat. Her mind was foggy while she tried to process everything he just said.

The elevator dinged as it reached the main floor. Reluctantly Johnny let her go, keeping her hand in hers as they walked over to the beach.

"So you really can't think of anything that you would like as a romantic gesture?" Johnny craned his neck towards her, his elbows dug into the towel they picked up at the pool as he propped his upper body up on them, leaving a dent in the sand.

She shook her head at him again, resting her head on her knees. Johnny looked up at the sky, chewing his lips trying to think of something.

"Flowers?"

She wrinkled her nose, "I dislike the concept of giving or buying flowers." At this Johnny sat up further, his eyes furrowed in confusion.

"Why?" His bewildered tone made her smile.

"It seems like a waste to me. Cutting beautiful flowers just so you can bring them home and display it." She thought about it, "To me it says, 'Have this tender thing that I essentially killed for you!’.” She frowned, “Not flowers." She confirmed.

"Damn." Johnny said softly, "You have a point." To that she laughed.

"What about gifts?" He tried.

"I can buy anything I want by myself."

Johnny whined, "That's not the point, (Y/N). It's a gesture, it says: 'I thought of you when I saw this.' or, 'I want you to think of me when you see this'." He held his hands out like he was holding something in them.

"Okay." She conceded, "I guess it depends on the intentions but when you say it like that it sounds kind of nice." She shrugged.

Johnny lay back down on the towel again, laughing in the disjointed way he did when he found something genuinely delightful. 

She smacked his chest, "Don't laugh at me." She mumbled.

"I'm not laughing at you." He rolled over to face her, putting his palm under his head.

"Then?"

Johnny chewed on his bottom lip for a second, "You aren't a romantic, are you?" He didn't sound accusatory, merely curious. She thought about that, coming short of an answer. 

"I don't know actually." She looked up at the moon, "I've never really thought about it."

"How are you like in a relationship?" He readjusted his arm again, bringing the forearm down to rest in front of him and propping himself on a single elbow, toying with his other hand.

She hesitated for a moment, the sound of the waves crashing on the sand and the whistle of the sea breeze in her ears. Her hair tossed in the wind and she took a deep breath. If it was someone else she would have dodged the question. She looked back towards Johnny, patiently watching. Johnny, who was patient and considerate. To the point where she felt so comfortable around him that it felt strange to think that till a week ago she didn't know who he was.

Her eyes drifted away from his, looking over to a hole in the sand— one that a crab had burrowed into it. 

"I've dated twice in my entire life." She breathed out. She thought about the creature that lay somewhere under the warm sand, snug in its shell and lonely in it's comfortable burrow. "Both times were short. More curiosity about how it would feel rather than wanting to be with the person." When she turned her eyes back to Johnny he was watching her with a deeply contemplative face.

She looked back at the horizon where the sea seemed to meet the sky, the line currently blurred in the dark.

"The first time I was young and stupid. He wasn't unkind, he was just the first person who ever asked me out. It was before university and I went for it." Her eyes drifted up the horizon, the sea turning into an ocean of stars. "A month later he told me he wanted to be with me even when we went to Universities on opposite sides of the country." She took a shaky breath, "In hindsight, I was cruel. But I freaked out and just left without saying anything." She took another long breath, finally turning to look at him. 

Johnny still didn't say anything, still looking at her with those same eyes.

She willed herself on, "I had my life ahead of me, you know? I wanted to see things, see the world." She laughed at the words, thinking about her old self— naive and hopeful. "I didn't want to go off to University already committed to a guy that I hardly knew. A guy I didn't even like." She took another breath.

Her eyes drifted back to the waves again, the moonlight making the sea foam look like it was glowing. She sighed. She had started now, she might as well finish.

"I ended up not dating the rest of University." She shrugged, "I realised that I didn't even like casual sex." She paused, turning to him quickly. "That isn't to say that I have a problem with it. It's just not something that worked for me." Johnny finally gave her a nod, the small reassuring smile on his lips making her feel like she could finally breathe. "I did a lot of stupid shit that I regret now." She groaned, pushing her hair back from her face.

"You were young." He mumbled. Hearing his voice after the long silence felt a little jarring. "We all did stupid shit when we were young. That's what it's about anyway." He shifted again, sitting up and crossing his legs, "Trial and error." He said thoughtfully, his eyes roaming her face.

"So." She sighed, "I didn't date anyone after that. I didn't care about it anyway, I wanted to be someone more than be with someone." She paused, laughing. "That sounds so stupid when I say it out loud." She scoffed.

"No." Johnny spoke, eyes furrowed. "That's one of the most important things I've heard anybody say." He looked resolute. "Being someone is the most important thing we can do. It’s why we have this head,” He tapped against his, “With its desires and opinions and voice." She looked at him as he spoke, putting something she could not really pin down, into words. Tangible, with nowhere to hide from them. "It's important to be someone real, not just what you think you are for people." His voice dropped low, like he was afraid of breaking something.

"Yes." She breathed out, "When you know who you are, you can allow yourself to be understood." Johnny smiled at that.

A tender silence fell between them, one of contemplation. The waves came close as the tide rose. She released her knees to sit back, feeling cramped from the position. She sighed, relaxing into the night.

"And the second?" Johnny asked after a while. She turned to him, the context lost on her. "The second guy you dated." He clarified. Her eyes lit up with the epiphany before she looked back down, tracing the geometric patterns on the towel under them with her eyes.

"It was someone I met when I had only just started working." She picked at the piece of lint that disrupted the flow of the patterns. "It was fine till he thought I never had time for him." She smiled sadly to herself, looking back up at Johnny once she pulled the thread out. "I didn't mind when he broke it off. There was nothing I could do. He wanted a girl who would take care of him— I hardly take care of myself most of the time. We just weren't a good match." She didn't feel regretful.

"How long ago was that?" He tried to sound casual, she knew that. But the anxiety in his eyes gave him away.

"Four years." She didn't hesitate.

"You haven't been with someone for four years?" He coughed the moment he realised that he sounded too shocked. She smiled at his careful efforts.

"No." She shrugged, "I let myself get busy with work. I found myself enjoying a walk in the park by myself or a late night movie alone. It was little things at first, and then I realised." She gave him a smile, "I genuinely enjoy my own company." She chuckled as the long held thought manifested into words.

"That life sounds good." He chuckled. Johnny looked down at the towel, finding his own piece of lint to fiddle with.

"It is." She assured him. She paused, taking a breath as a thought that had been scratching against the edges of her mind inched closer.

Her eyes fluttered over his features; the full pucker of his lips, the soft curve high curve of his nose. He focused on the way his hair rested on his forehead and his eyelashes framed his lids, brushing against his cheeks as his eyes stayed on the towel.

She thought about the red tie he wore at dinner and the way he kissed her in front of both their friends just to prove a point. She remembered the way he smiled at his friends, and the way he playfully teased Mark. She pictured him, alone in a new apartment for the first time, wanting home

She took a small breath, something clicking into place inside her, "And then I met you." Johnny stopped fidgeting with the towel, looking up with a look so vulnerable that a conditioned panic rose up her throat. She quelled it, deciding that she didn't need the reflex. "And I think for the first time I realised that life could also be content." Her breathing picked up, the vulnerability she suddenly felt no doubt reflected in her eyes. "And I think I also just found an answer to your question." A smile played on her lips. 

He furrowed his brows at her, tilting his head like he didn't know what she was talking about. 

"I like gestures." Her lips grew wider, "I want someone to show how they feel about me. I find action romantic." She paused again, closing her eyes and ignoring the burn on her cheeks as she spoke the next sentence, "Gestures that would seemingly go unnoticed, small acts that aren't meant to prove anything other than just being." She raised her palm, gently touching his face, "That's what swept me off my feet."

She finished her confession, waiting for him to say something. Johnny searched her eyes, still looking for something.

"You haven't been with anyone in four years." He assessed the words, "You've only been with two people in your entire life." He repeated her words. 

She gave him a nervous nod, unsure of where this was going. After the high of her confession started to fade, she realised that there was a possibility that he didn't want all the things she did.

"Do you want to be with me?" His eyebrows knit to impossibly close together.

She tried to hide her nerves with a jab, "I was sure I was speaking to you just now." She joked. Johnny put a finger under her chin, lifting it and staring at her with a serious expression.

"(Y/N). He pleaded softly.

"Without a shadow of a doubt." She felt a weight lift off her chest when Johnny's eyes finally lit up.

"I will cherish this like the privilege it is." He promised, "Cherish you." He pulled in closer, finally kissing her. She put her palm on his chest and pushed gently, Johnny sat back willingly. He wrapped his arms under her knees, bringing her closer to him. He kept his hands in place as she slowly explored his body with her hands. He kept still as she explored his mouth with her tongue.

With a slowly building resolution, she brought her fingers up to his neck, tugging him to her, trying to get that much closer. He finally moved his hands, grabbing her waist and pulling her into his. She sighed in relief, surrounded by his warmth and scent. Her hand slipped to his shoulder, pulling him closer. His chest pressing against hers as she pressed her tongue against his. Her other hand landed on his thigh and when she dragged her nails on the trousers his hips bucked up. She smiled against his lips, feeling victorious she ground her hips into his. She heard him groan, his arms moving up her waist. She did it again. He slipped his arms to her thighs, before stroking back up again— silent encouragement. 

She sat up a little further, arching her back till she was impossibly close to him. Her fingers went into his hair for leverage and she rolled her hips again. Johnny pulled back from the kiss with a stutter.

“(Y/N).” He growled his warning, she took the chance to kiss down his jaw. He raised his head to give her access, groaning. “I’m going to cum into my pants like a teenager.” He tried to warn her off. A soft whine left her lips the moment she thought about that, only rolling her hips with more purpose. Johnny laughed, a deep throaty laugh that made his adam’s apple bob as her lips brushed against it. She licked the skin gently. When he said her name then, it was a defeated whine.

He was so hot like this. So hot that it felt like she wouldn’t be able to stop even if she wanted. She slipped a hand down his chest, brushing it against the strained bulge in his pants. He grabbed her wrist, making her laugh softly against his shoulder blade.

“Please.” She whispered, his fingers loosened their grip but stayed around her wrist. She lay her palm flat on his cock, rubbing it up and down. He let her hand go with a defeated huff, putting both his hands behind him to lean back. She watched his face, the anguished crease of his forehead, the way his lips parted and then closed when he swallowed, his eyes squeezed shut. 

She slowed down her pace. Johnny opened his eyes to look down at her. Despite the situation, it was her breathing that picked up under his gaze.

“Do you want to cum?” She asked him, she felt him twitch under her palm. For a second he didn’t respond, only watching her with those eyes— like he would devour her if given the opportunity. Both their rapid breaths became the only sound between them, he raised a brow at her. She bit down on her lower lip. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t move. All he did was watch her, waiting. 

Finally she took the liberty, moving her hand again. He inhaled sharply, eyes fixed on her. She increased her pace.

He threw his head back after a moment, his throat bobbing, “(Y/N), fuck.” He groaned as his hips bucked again, his cock twitching. Then she felt it, the spreading heat.

“You came in your pants.” Her voice was a mix of surprise and pride. He sat back, his eyes impossibly dark, his brows still furrowed. He grabbed the back to her neck, bringing his lips to hers. He devoured her like his eyes had promised, kissing her with fervent urgency.

He pulled away too soon, getting up from the ground. She watched as he adjusted his pants, his jaw setting hard when his fingers brushed against the wet patch on the front of his pants. He gave her his hand after he finished, hoisting her up.

“I’m going to return the favour.” He warned, “Let’s go.” He pulled her away.

Johnny tapped his index finger against the reception desk, the pace of it increasing with each passing moment. She felt apologetic towards the man who stood on the other side of the desk, staring at the computer screen in front of him.

“I’m sorry, sir.” He looked up, repeated exactly what he said moments ago. “All our rooms are booked up. Between the wedding and seasonal crowds, there is nothing. I can’t even see rooms that are currently on hold.” His voice was of professional regret.

Johnny ran his fingers through his hair, the frown on his features growing. She felt herself rub her thighs together.

“You don’t have a single empty room in this entire place?” He was trying to be polite, she knew that. He kept his voice leveled and tried to sound more like he was coaxing than demanding. But the frustration that was all over his face was justifiably intimidating. The man tapped his pen against a notepad.

“We have the pool villas on the other side of the property–” He started.

“I’ll take it.” Johnny reached for his pocket, taking his wallet out.

“Wait,” She tugged his arm, “This isn’t necessary. Johnny.” She felt the guilt rack over her. He gave her the smallest smirk.

“Don’t back off now. You started this.” He exhaled through his teeth, handing the card to the man behind the desk with his eyes on her.

A thought occurred to him, making him turn back to the man at the front desk, “Just make sure it’s as far away from the one booked for the wedding couple.” Johnny gave the guy a meaningful look. He nodded at him, a smile forming on his lips when he turned to swipe the card.

The walk was an excruciatingly long one. They took the beach to keep the route as swift as possible. (Y/N) held her heels in her hand and his jacket around her shoulders. Despite her insistence that she couldn’t possibly feel cold by the beach, he wrapped her in it anyway, a smirk on his lips. It currently brushed against her thigh, somehow longer than her dress.

“I can’t believe you did that.” She groaned when she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “An entire villa.” She groaned again.

“Do you want this?” He stopped walking suddenly, turning to her with soft eyes. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. I’m fine with just talking to you, I love talking to you. I know you haven’t had sex in a while. Don’t feel like you have to because of this.” He shook the keycard in front of him.

“Of course I want to do this.” She spoke before he finished. “Have I not made that abundantly obvious?”

“Then don’t worry about the place, it doesn’t mean anything.” He reassured her, turning to start walking again.

“I just feel like I forced you into this.” She grimaced. He took her hand in his squeezing like he was silently telling her off for thinking that.

“If I don’t fuck you right now I’m going to go crazy.” He said it casually, missing her hitched inhale, “I know you feel the same. Kneading into me on the beach under the open skies. I told you, don’t back out now.” He turned to burn his heated gaze into her, “I’ve spent days losing sleep over imagining how you look naked under me. I just didn’t want to do it anywhere. You deserve better than that.”

A tortured noise came from her throat, reluctantly she let the matter of the villa go. It was the most reckless and illogical thing he could do. But everything about this week felt so quixotic that this might as well have happened too.

Her heart started picking up when Johnny pulled into the steps of one of the villas on the row of them that stretched across the beach, walking up the stairs with her hand still firmly in his. The door beeped when he tapped the card on the handle and then they were inside a dark room that looked too big. She dropped her heels on the floor. Johnny flicked a light switch by the door, illuminating the entrance. 

Stairs went up a few feet in front of them, the seating area in front of them leading to french doors on the other side that spanned the entire expanse of the back wall. 

Johnny leaned down to brush his lips against her temples, her eyes fluttering shut. "How about a dip in the pool?" His voice was liquid velvet. At his words, she noticed the reflection of a pool outside the glass. She wanted to say no, pull him upstairs instead. "Ever since I saw you swimming the other day, I haven't been able to get the image of it out of my mind." He chuckled into her hair.

She turned to him, "You have very specific fantasies." She noted mockingly.

"I like to think of it as an extension of knowing exactly what I want." His fingers slid down hers, "Plus," His lips brushed over her eyes. "I promised, remember? When I finally get the chance, I would take my time with you. I promised to be slow and agonising." His other hand pushed her hair back, light fingers skimming against her shoulder and making her shiver.

"Johnny." She whined in protest, earning a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"You have some much needed retribution in store." The words filled her with dread and anticipation.

"Can't you just punish me later?" She gave him wide eyes and a soft pout.

"You think that helps your cause.” He chuckled, “But you're only making things worse for yourself." He warned, "You made me ruin my suit." He reprimanded.

"You seemed to like it." She mumbled, looking down at the floor. 

He slipped a finger on her chin, making her look up at him, "And you will like what I am going to do to you as well." He coaxed, a look of devious vow in his eyes.

Then his eyes turned darker, furrowing his brows. "So take off your dress. Let's go enjoy the most of this place I was forced to take because of your lack of self control." 

"You told me not to worry about that!" She smacked his shoulder in indignation, making him laugh.

"You don't need to worry about it. You just need to know that you willingly pushed me off the edge of my self control." He wrapped his arm around her waist and he walked away, guiding her to the doors on the opposite side of the building.

Johnny took off his suit slower than she’d like, in retaliation she didn’t touch her dress till he was done. She watched intently the whole time, watching as he took off his tie; then very slowly unbuttoned his shirt— something she urged to do herself. She dug her feet in place instead, eyes tracing his chest. She had seen his arms before, felt his chest under her palm a few times, she knew she was well built. But, as he peeled the shirt off his shoulder, nothing she could picture in her head could do justice to the man who stood in front of her. She swallowed, realising after that, yes, she was literally drooling while staring at his body. 

After he took the shirt off, he looked up to her face. She snapped her eyes up to his face like she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t. Amusement danced in Johnny’s eyes but he didn’t speak. She kept her eyes fixed on his face as she heard the rattle of his belt. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, pulling out every inch of free will she had to keep her eyes in place as his pants fell to the floor. He stepped out of them, keeping his gaze fixed in hers as well. Then he frowned, bending down to pick up his pants.

 He neatly placed his clothes on a chair, pointing an accusatory finger at her clothed body after. “Why is that still on you?” His voice brushed against her skin even from the distance.

She willed herself to keep her eyes glued to his face. “I’m considering your constructive criticism. Trying to exercise more self control.” She kept her voice surprisingly steady, metally patting herself on the back.

“Oh?” He stepped closer to her, “And you think now is the time for you to learn that?” He tilted his head, his gait predatory.

She raised her chin in defiance, giving him a nod.

“Where was this self control when you had my fingers deep inside you in a car on the highway, hmm? Or when you needed me to kiss you right outside a gathering of people we both know?” He came and stood in front of her, brushing his fingers where her dress met her thighs. She focused on the wild look in his eyes, trying to ignore the chill his fingers sent down her spine.

“I told you,” Her voice came out throaty. “I’m learning.” Johnny smirked.

“Alright.” He hummed, pushing her arms up. She didn’t resist. She didn’t resist when he peeled her dress off either. She tried to ignore the heat that rose up from her chest to her face when he looked at her body, resisting the urge to bury her face in her hands. Johnny took his time drinking in her frame. She bit her lip. When he looked up, his eyes looked bored. “We’ll see how long it lasts, hmm baby?” Her toes curled at the purr in his voice.

“I want to kiss you.” Johnny said from the other side of the pool. She hummed. He narrowed his eyes, “Come here.” He wasn’t asking. She moved across the water, her bra sticking uncomfortably to her chest. He pulled her close to him, “Do you want me to touch you?” She hummed again. He held her chin in his hands, “Words.” His voice licked up her spine.

“Yes.” She breathed out.

“Where?”

“Everywhere.” 

Johnny took a sharp breath, tongue running across his lips. Her eyes drifted to the movement, looking back up seconds later.

“But?” He narrowed his eyes, suspicious of her intention.

She smirked, “I won’t touch you. Not till you ask.”

“Wretched girl.” He gave her a wicked smile, “Where have you been all my life?” He sighed, reaching his lips down to her neck. He licked a strip up her neck and she gasped out loud, her head falling back. He looked back to grin at her, before turning her around and going back to her neck. She rested her head back against his chest, jumping with a yelp when he grazed his teeth on the skin behind her neck. She felt him smile against her skin.

“As someone who claimed that time is their luxury, you sure are generous with it.” She winched when he bit down on her shoulder, soothing the skin with his tongue.

“I’m a very generous person.” He whispered, brushing his tongue on the shell of her ear.

She hummed, “So I see. Though I wish you were more generous about certain things over others.” He bit her earlobe, she mewled.

“I thought you wanted to learn self control?” He kissed behind her ear.

“Yes, but you seem like a man thoroughly well read in the subject.” She whined, “You can be exempt from this lesson.” She tried to keep up with his words while his mouth kept up its persistence.

“I would prefer to lead by example.” He bit the back of her neck, she clenched impossibly hard.

“And I would prefer you inside me.” She groaned. He laughed into her hair, kissing her spine lazily. 

She pulled away from him with a frown, turning to look at him, “Johnny Suh, I swear to god!” She huffed, he shifted to kiss her lips. She huffed against his lips, both annoyed and aroused by his incessant antics. He was seemingly an expert at it, bringing her just to the brink of irritation before driving her wild with need. She kept her hands firmly at her side, the urge to touch him making her light-headed.

In the meantime, his hands touched her bare skin. Her back, stomach, waist. He brushed his fingers on her abdomen, where the elastic of her bra dug into her skin, the thing felt like a hindrance. 

He pulled away from the kiss, a pleased look in his eyes. “Not even a little graze. You’re a diligent student.” He lifted his now swollen lips. 

Anger flared inside her, only making her want him more. “You’re a dick.” She pulled away from him, but he touched her arm and drew her back till her back was on his chest again.

“You deserve a reward for your tenacity.” He put his hand flat on her stomach, circling around her navel with his thumb. 

Then he slowly took his hand lower.

Every nerve in her body fired up in anticipation. She shivered when his thumb grazed the skin just above the elastic of her underwear, she huffed. She felt his other hand sneak between them, unbuckling the clasp of her bra. She sighed very audibly when it slid down her arms, too busy feeling the relief of it’s removal to feel shy at the moment.

“This,” His voice barely a breath. His palm grazed one of her breasts. “I’ve been waiting to do for a while.” He rolled her nipple between his fingers, she bucked up closer to his touch. His other hand brushed over her underwear, she dropped her head back to his shoulder. He slipped his fingers in to graze a finger up her slit, then down— his touch featherlight. She felt like she could weep. He parted her folds, the cold water around them touching her warm clit, making her grasp and also reminding her where she was.

“Johnny.” She said through gritted teeth. “Please.” Her voice dissolved into a moan when he pressed his finger against her clit hard.

Every nerve in her body felt like they had been lit on fire deliberately. He drew slow circles around the bundle of nerves. She lifted her hands instinctively, remembering her claim and putting it over her mouth instead.

“Touch me, (Y/N).” He whispered in her ear, the sound akin to a plea as he plunged a finger inside her. She didn’t have the sense to hesitate, threading her fingers through his hair.

She would have cum in moments, had he not been so distressingly slow. This slow, she felt every graze, every joint and every curl. When he added another finger, he remained loyal to his pace. The pressure between her legs felt unbearable.

“You’re so tight.” He groaned against her temples, “I’m going to make you feel so good, baby. I’ll make your long wait worth it.” He parted his fingers inside her, opening and closing till she felt her walls ease under his efforts. “I’ll make sure you feel good.” He kissed her temple, his thumb pressing into her clit, flicking the hood with his blunt nails.

Her orgasm built up slowly, so slow that she felt every twitch and every muscle tightening. She moaned out his name and he connected his lips to her, rubbing a thumb on her nipple which the other continued it’s ministrations on her clit. All of that combined with his fingers pumping slowly inside her felt too much. She felt moisture prickle on the corner of her eyes— tears of relief as her legs shook and her orgasm crashing through her body in multiple waves. She squirmed in his hold, grabbing his wrist to make him stop. He obeyed, bringing both his hands to her waist, turning her back to face him.

“How do we feel?” His face one of concern, his eyes soft, all traces of the menace he was moments ago tucked away. She gave him a smile.

“Good.” She confirmed, “Great.” She sighed.

Johnny gazed at her face for a second, “You’re so beautiful.” He stated. His brazen ease leaving her cheeks hot.

“So are you.” She laughed to herself.

“I think I’m rather handsome actually.” He grinned, “And sexy.” He winked.

“So sexy.” She was compelled to agree, closing her eyes and knitting her brows. Like the idea was too much. Johnny grinned a little more.

“Want to go upstairs?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“I genuinely thought you would never ask.” She frowned at him. He took her chin in his fingers to give her a chaste kiss, before lifting her in her arms.

“I can walk!” She looked up at him with wide eyes.

“I am aware.” Was all he said as he got out of the water.

“So put me down!” She felt herself blush.

“No. I know you can walk, I want to carry you anyway. It’s for my benefit. I want to enjoy the view.” He winked. She groaned and put her hands on her face, burying it in his chest and mumbling something. “What was that?” His voice was cocky.

“You like embarrassing people. It’s a deplorable habit.” She lifted her head to repeat herself and then hid her face again. Johnny just laughed.

He dropped her on the bed, an eager grin on his face as he pulled her closer to the edge of the bed. He raked his eyes over her body, like he was trying to memorise her features.

“Can I eat you out?” When he looked back at her face, his playful grin was replaced with an intent gaze. Johnny sat down on his knees on the floor at the edge of the bed. She sat up and scooted closer to the edge, placing her feet on the floor and giving him a meaningful look.

“Johnny.” She looked at him seriously, “Listen to me. You’re absolutely without a doubt the most considerate lover I’ve ever encountered.” She put her palm on his cheek, he nuzzled into the touch and she mirrored the content smile that spread on his lips. “You’re very sweet and very charming.” She rubbed her thumb on his cheek. “But, I swear to god.” She laughed, “If you don’t put your penis inside my vagina right now, I’m going to slap you silly.”

“Is that a promise?” He raised his brows, trying to tease despite the blood that rushed into his face.

“Johnny!”

He laughed, “Alright, alright. I’ll give you this considerate dick.” She groaned at the words, rolling her eyes. “But there’s something I want to ask you first.” His eyes moved away from her face to look around the room.

“What?” She swallowed.

“I have to be in Hong Kong after this trip. It’s part of the reason why I got the week off.” He paused, shaking his head. “That’s irrelevant.” He scoffed, running his hand through his hair and taking her hands into his. “I’ll be there for a month. But when I come back.” He paused, releasing a nervous exhale and looking at her with soft eyes, “I want to see you again. I want to take you to my favourite restaurant, and then I want you to see you some more.” They both blinked at each other, the silent contemplations of vulnerability.

Johnny sat back, “I was going to wait to say this. But I don’t think I can, I think I’m a little whipped for you. Especially when you tell me to put my penis into your vagina.” She shoved his shoulder, a sound coming from her lips that were a mix of a groan and a laugh. 

Johnny laughed too. “I told you,” He spoke after their giggles died down. “I want to court you. And I meant it.” He smiled at her.

“You’re such a romantic aren’t you?” She smiled, feeling somewhere between the hope and dread that she had heard came with real feelings for a person. “One condition.” She looked at him.

“Yeah?”

“If you make me walk up the Vessel I will leave you there.”

The smile he gave her made her shiver, “Deal.” He gave her a lopsided grin, pushing back from her.

He stood up, motioning her to go up to the pillows with his index finger. She complied with a victorious smile. He put his knees on the mattress, crawling up to cage her body. He looked down at her with a smirk, searching her face.

“Ready?” He murmured. She nodded shyly, the boldness from moments ago already dissipating under his gaze. “When I saw you at the gym the other day, the unsolicited thought that plagued me was what you’d look like under me.” He smiled down at her, his words making her heart pick up it’s pace. He dropped his arm to his elbow, using the other to hold her cheek and kiss her. It was a brief kiss, but one that felt so impossibly intimate that her toes curled and goosebumps erupted all over her skin.

He kissed down her neck, taking a nipple in between his lips as his finger looped around the edge of her underwear, her fingers combed into his soft hair. He dragged the piece of fabric down till her shin and she kicked it off. When his hips ground into hers she gasped his name. He shifted his focus to her other breast, grinding his hips into her again and making curse words stumble out her lips, she wanted him to take his off too. His fingers parted her folds, teasing her hole with his thumb. She fisted his hair, her back lifting off the mattress. He stopped suddenly, pulling away and sitting back on his knees. She was already forming her annoyed response when he spoke.

“I need to go get my wallet.” He spoke like he remembered something. 

She sat up with an incredulous expression, both their faces flushed and breathing shallow. “What?” He breathed out, a little too dazed to keep up with him.

“I took condoms from the gift bag we gave Doyoung today. They’re in my wallet.” He ran his hands through his hair, still breathing fast.

“Oh.” She blushed, “Go.”

She sat in silence for a second, the air conditioning making her skin prickle. As her breathing calmed down, a smile spread across her face, then a soft laugh. There was something so incredibly thrilling and comfortable at the same time about Johnny. She remembered his face when he realised he didn’t have his wallet, covering her mouth to muffle her laugh.

When she heard footsteps come up the stairs she bit down on her lips too hard.

“What’s so funny?” He walked into the room, wearing just his briefs and looking so utterly irresistible.

“You.” Her laugh escaped her lips.

“I don’t know how to feel about you laughing at me while we stand here, very naked.” Even while he joked, his eyes explored her body with hunger.

“You aren’t naked yet.” She pointed at the piece of clothing that had overstayed its welcome.

“We can change that.” He tossed his wallet on the bed, leaning over to honour her request. “Will you take the condom out?” He said absentmindedly as he kicked his briefs off.

She turned to the square of black leather, swallowing and looking back up, “I don’t think I should touch your wallet.” A nervous laugh came out in the form of a huff. 

Johnny gave her a look of amusement, “I ask you to be my girlfriend and you think touching my wallet is going too far?”

For the shortest moment, she was too distracted by the view of his naked body; his dick spring up to his waist— angry red and too big. The next moment, his words seemed to register in her head.

She looked up at him, looking lost. “You want me to be your girlfriend?”

The laugh that left Johnny’s lips was of incredulous frustration, “Yes.” He said patiently, “I thought I was transparent but I guess something got lost in translation.” He teased with sarcasm. He gave her an endearing smile, “(Y/N) I think you’re fucking incredible and I want you to be my girlfriend.” He came closer towards the bed, “Now will you please take that pesky condom out so I can show you a very compelling reason why saying yes is in your best interests?” 

She scrambled to grab the wallet, opening it to search for what he wanted.

“The pocket in the middle.” He pointed, close enough to do it himself but still standing still. She was very aware that he was absolutely naked— she was too, but between the two bodies, his was the one she wasn’t used to seeing. It took her longer than she was proud of to finally produce a string of foil packets, at least five.

“You came prepared.” She stared at them for a second before tearing one off.

“I’m an optimist.” The words made her laugh, throwing her head back. She handed him the packet, holding it in her hand firmly even after he grabbed it. He looked up at her in question.

“I do,” She inhaled, “for the record.” She felt a little dizzy.

“What?” He furrowed his brows, looking down at her.

“Want to be your girlfriend.” His eyes grew slightly, before he smirked.

“Are you sure you don’t at least want a demo first?” A smile tugged at his lips.

“No, I think I’ll take it. Something tells me the parts work fine.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence.” He leaned into her, kissing the corner of her mouth before pushing back to look at her again. He smiled, kissing her in earnest after that.

“Up.” He spoke against her lips, standing back up and lifting the foil packet. She scooted up to the pillow. A frown fell over Johnny’s features for a moment as he thought about something.

“This could be a bit uncomfortable. You haven’t done this in a while and I’m a little–” He paused then laughed, a little embarrassed. “I’m not trying to be cocky. I just don’t want to hurt you.” He explained. 

Her eyes drifted to his dick. She swallowed a lump forming in her throat, as her eyes wandered over the thick veins on his shaft, the red tip— he was big. It seemed to twitch under her scrutiny, despite herself she thought she could feel her mouth water a little. Johnny stood and waited patiently. She dragged her eyes back up to his face.

“Just go slow.” She requested.

“Of course.” He nodded, tearing the packet open.

She lay back on her elbows, watching him sheath his cock. She rubbed her thighs together. When his knees dipped the mattress, she looked up at his darkening eyes.

“Now. Where were we?” His predatory gaze zeroed in on her face as he managed to cage her under him again. 

He kissed her deeper this time, she craned her neck to facilitate his endeavour. One elbow propped him up while the other caressed her side, making her shiver and reach out to grab his shoulders. Everything about him in the moment felt too perfect for her fragile mind to completely grasp. The way his back flexed under her touch, his smooth skin, his intoxicating smell and his soft, plush lips all made her feel like she was bursting from the seams.

He pulled away from her lips, a pout falling on her face at the sudden lack of his lips on hers. He laughed, kissing the corner of her mouth and plunging two fingers inside her easily. Her eyes fluttered shut as her lips parted softly.

“Relax a little for me baby.” He urged her, his voice a low hum. She wanted to tell him that it would be unfathomable to even ask her that when he looked at her like there was currently no one else in the world. But she gave him a quick nod and exhaled softly, easing her muscles into the bed. He popped his fingers out, plunging them in faster.

“That feels good.” She mewled as her words made him pick up pace.

“I can’t wait to feel what it's like to be inside you.” He added under finger, her legs twitching from the sensation. “Do you want to cum like this?” He asked. The vigorous shake of her head she gave him made him laugh, she wanted him inside her. “Alright.” He pulled his fingers out and despite it being her request she whined, her eyes fluttering open. He brought his fingers to his lips and she was sure that she was about to go insane as his tongue poked out to lick them.

He entered her slowly, his eyes cemented on her face. She willed her eyes to stay open as he entered her, she wanted to see him. The feeling of being filled this excruciatingly slow made her toes curl, Johnny bit his bottom lip. She could feel him fill her so completely, every little crevice slowly brimming with the sensation of him. Her fingers dug into his back. Johnny’s eyebrows furrowed, his lips parting softly. He stopped, searching her face for an answer to a silent question. When she nodded a choked sigh left his lips, slowly he went deeper. Her back arched as she felt him so deep inside her, her body dissolving into pure nerves and sensation.

“Just a little more.” His voice was strained, the veins on his neck tight. She gave him a nod, her eyes fluttering closed when she finally felt him balls deep. Johnny sighed, falling closer to her body, littering kisses all over her face, her neck. “Such a good baby. Taking me so well.” He licked her clavicle. “You’re so tight, (Y/N).” He whined against her neck, “I think I’m going to lose my mind.” He sighed, staying in place and giving her the time she needed.

She wanted to remember this feeling forever, of feeling so full. Sex hadn’t been something that felt intimate to her before, it was an impersonal act of pleasure when people became creatures of basic instincts.

Yet, everything about this moment felt more intimate than anything she could recall. The soft look in his eyes, the patience of his movement, the feeling of him inside her. She wanted to weep into her shoulders and hold him in her arms.

“Move.” She whispered in his ears, kissing the lobe softly. He whined again, shaking his head forcefully. 

As he pulled out, they both gasped. His next thrust was smoother, the one after that even more sure. Her hand dropped to the sheet from his shoulder, fisting it till she felt pinpricks on her knuckles. He pulled back, balancing his frame of a single elbow, the other grabbing her waist. His thrusts got harder as he maintained his slow pace.

“Fuck.” She gasped, forehead gathering in focus.

“I’m trying, baby believe me.” He groaned. She opened her eyes, a mix of a chuckle and a whimper leaving her lips at the grin on his face.

“I like when you call me that.” She admitted, “Baby.” She whined as he seemed to find an angle that hit the right spot inside her, her eyes fluttering shut.

“Yeah?” He groaned, “You like being my baby?” 

She nodded.

“I’m going to take such good care of you baby. Now and for as long as you let me.” He kissed her neck, his dick twitching inside from his own words. She moaned his name softly.

“I think I’m going to.” Her face twisted.

“Look at me, (Y/N). Touch me please.” He growled.

She forced her eyes open, “I don’t want to scratch your skin.” She pouted, he snapped his hips and she gasped.

“Yes you do, and do I. Hold me.” He cooed, bringing his arm up to brush her hair away from her face. She obeyed, his hand going to his back— her nails digging into his skin. 

Johnny moaned her name. “Can I go faster?” His brows creased further, the words a plea.

“Yes.” She gasped out, “Please.”

She clenched around his as her orgasm shattered through her body. Johnny’s face fell into her neck, gasping as her walls clenched around him repeatedly. His thrusts got sloppier and quicker as he reached his own high, her name a repeated symphony on his lips.

His body relaxed on top of her for a moment, the weight thrusting the air out of her lungs even though she was certain it wasn’t the full extent of it. He left a string of sloppy kisses on her cheek and neck till a giggle bubbled to her throat, his own chuckle was a throaty one.

When he pushed off her, she was starkly aware of his absence. The next moment, he put his arm around her waist and dragged her close to him. She suddenly felt shy, her eyes focused on his chest, tracing her fingers. He laughed his breathy disjointed laugh she was coming to adore, embracing her closer to his chest. He kissed her forehead, his thumb caressing her back.

“What is your go-to meal after a bad day?” He hummed against her hair.

She looked up at him, a quizzical grin on her face. “That’s the first thing you say?” She scoffed.

He laughed again, “Well I already took a giant leap of faith before sleeping with you and asked you to date me after knowing you exactly five day.” He squeezed her frame, “So I thought I’d lighten up the pillow talk.” She scoffed again, but her cheeks tinted red.

“Anything that takes me over an hour to make would do.” She answered his question after a moment’s thought. The look he gave her made her laugh, “Here me out. I usually listen to music, or maybe a podcast. It’s an hour or more of not thinking about anything other than the task at hand, and in the end there’s physical evidence of your labour. Evidence that is also delicious.” 

Understanding seeped into Johnny’s eyes. He smiled at her with a nod, “I think I get it.” She kissed his chin.

Day 6

Johnny stirred awake with a tug on his shoulder, squinting as the morning light first illuminated his view. (Y/N) smiled down at his sleepy face, standing over him.

“Why are you already out of bed?” His voice was a sleepy groan of protest, pouting his lower lip.

“We’ll be late for breakfast.” She explained.

Johnny gave her a relaxed smile, “Who cares? Come back in bed.” He turned over to grab at the air between them. 

She breathed out a light laugh at his antics.

“Come on! Don’t you want a cup of coffee?” She tempted him.

“I want you more.” 

She cursed her heart for picking up at something so cheesy, a humorous groan coming from her as she cringed at his words. Johnny rolled over to lay on his back and laughed.

“Okay fine.” He surrendered, sitting up and letting the sheet fall to his waist, “But on the condition we come back and get right back.” He patted the mattress.

Her eyes roamed his chest, wondering just how this man was currently naked in front of her. Then she registered his words, “You want to keep the villa?” She blinked.

“Yeah. How else am I going to do the things I want to you?” He asked like it was obvious. 

Her breath stuttered, “Fine. But you let me pay half of whatever fortune this place costs.” She gestured to the room with her arm.

“No.” He rubbed his sleepy face.

“Johnny.” She tried to reason.

“Please,” He whined. “I want to take care of you.”

She chuckled, sitting on the bed beside him and putting her fingers on his cheek. “You can do that in other ways. In ways that matter more. I can afford to pay for it, that’s something I’m immensely proud of. So let me?”

He chewed on his lips for a second but nodded at her, her smile growing wider.

Breakfast was a mistake.

She had made it a point to text Joohyun about where she was last night. It was to ensure that her friends weren’t under the assumption that she drowned in the ocean. Upon entering the restaurant, she suddenly wished she had drowned. 

A chorus of claps with a few cheers came from a set of tables in the corner of the room. A few other guests and Doyoung and Sooyoung’s parents turned towards the commotion with confusion.

“You were right.” She grabbed Johnny’s arm, “Let’s just go back now.” Johnny laughed at her reddening cheeks.

“Let’s go get some coffee.” He reminded her. She wanted to groan.

It was with a lot of reluctance that she walked up to the corner where their collective friends sat together, grinning at the both of them. She tried to hide behind Johnny, but he just put his arms on her shoulder. 

At the moment, she hated him.

“Well well, look who decided to finally show up.” Yeri laughed. (Y/N) turned to bury her face in Johnny’s shoulders.

“We were all making bets about whether you would show up or not.” Yuta sniggered.

“I didn’t want to.” Johnny shrugged, “(Y/N) insisted we come for the coffee.” He raised the hand in which he carried his cup.

“Wow, this must be serious if Johnny Suh wanted to skip his morning caffeine.” Taeil poked at Haechan who nodded with mock surprise.

“Guys.” Johnny frowned before he changed it to a grin, “Don’t tease my girlfriend.” 

“Girlfriend?!” Seulgi and Jungwoo shrieked together. The rest also had surprise etched all over their face.

“Kill me.” She groaned, trying to get Johnny’s arm off her shoulder but he didn’t budge.

Johnny just shrugged, no sign of hesitation or regret on his face. “When I know, I know.” It oddly comforted her.

“Alright, we’re going to go find something to eat.” Johnny waved at them.

“You will come back right here so Joohyun and I can grill you, understood?” Sooyoung’s threat was meaningful. “You have another thing coming if you think I’ll let you dazzle our best friend into this without a thorough interview. Okay?” (Y/N) had to admit, even she felt intimidated by the expression Sooyoung had on her face. Johnny swallowed, turning to give (Y/N) a look that begged for help.

She just gave him a shrug, “You brought this upon yourself. Also, they have the standing authority on this, I can’t do anything about it.”

“You don’t think it’s too soon to be her boyfriend?” Sooyoung spoke after she took a sip of her juice, “And don’t turn to her with every question.” She snapped, Johnny jerked his head back to face Sooyoung. “(Y/N) is very capable but she isn’t all that experienced with dating.”

“Sooyoung.” (Y/N) sighed.

“I don’t intend to overwhelm, (Y/N). I just think we’d be good together.” He shrugged.

“Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be so sure of that?” Joohyun’s tone was softer, but the question was no less blunt.

“No, not for me. If she decides later that it was then it’ll be an honest effort on both out parts. I was merely honest about my feelings.” He dropped his cutlery and looked up at them both confidently. (Y/N) lifted her hand to squeeze his.

“Damn.” Jungwoo mumbled, “He’s good.”

“Will you choose her over work?” Sooyoung followed.

“Sooyoung.” (Y/N) warned.

“What? You should know these things!” Sooyoung huffed.

“He doesn’t need to pick anything. These things can exist in tandem, I’m not going to ask anybody to pick me over something they’ve built for years, that’s unfair.” She furrowed her brows.

“(Y/N)–” Johnny turned to her.

“No. Don’t answer that. If you asked me the same question I’d kick you.” She was still frowning, Johnny’s lips turned up in amusement.

“Fine.” Sooyoung surrendered.

“I’ll never do anything that hurts her.” Johnny said softly, giving Sooyoung a reassuring smile.

“He really wouldn’t” Doyoung urged Sooyoung, “Johnny doesn’t have an inconsiderate bone in his body. He gave up a very important merger to come for our wedding. Something he has to go to Hong Kong to fix.”

“He once cancelled on a big client because I broke my arm and didn’t have anyone to drive me to the hospital.” Mark added.

“Guys.” Johnny mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

“She’s slandering you, dude. Let them say it.” Haechan chimed in.

“It’s not slander.” Johnny sighed.

“She is my wife.” Doyoung glared at Haechan.

“I see that we’ve decided to attack me now.” Haechan slinked away.

“I know what I’m doing, Sooyoung.” (Y/N) reassured her friend, a gentle smile on her face.

“Good. Because if he hurts you I’ll kill him, but I’ll also break your bones.” Sooyoung said with a smile.

Doyoung gave Johnny an apologetic look. 

“That could have gone better.” Johnny finally spoke when they left the restaurant.

“She’s just a little protective. Don’t mind her, she’s always been the one who worries about me the most, when I moved for University, I’d spend all my holidays at their house because going back home was too expensive. Her mother is like a mother to me.” She stumbled over her words.

“I want her to like me.” Johnny’s smile was a little sad.

“She will.” She reassures, “She does. Sooyoung’s just being all business to intimidate you.” She scoffed. If Johnny wasn’t convinced, he didn’t push.

“See you in a bit?” He smiled at her instead.

She entered the room she shared with Joohyun to pack her bag. She found Joohyun sitting at the small table across the room, when she saw her she stood up.

“I’ve come to take my stuff.” (Y/N) paused, blushing. “I– , uhh, we’re sharing a room.” She looked to the floor. She didn’t know why it felt so strange to talk about this. Her friends knew her completely, her secrets, embarrassments and her insecurities.

(Y/N) sighed, “Sorry. Talking about these things, about a guy. It’s still very new to me.” She laughed.

Joohyun came up to her, “Are you leaving because you’re mad? I swear Sooyoung didn’t mean to come on so strong. You know her, she knows you’re smart and that you won’t do anything unless you haven’t thought it over. But she thinks you’ll be hurt and go back to avoiding relationships. We all want you to be happy, that’s all.” Joohyun let the torrent of words out.

(Y/N) gave her a smile, feeling very touched, “I know that. I’m not angry at all, that’s not why I’m going. I like him, I really do. I don’t avoid relationships because I’m scared of getting hurt, I just wanted to find someone who I can be in a relationship with.” She hugged Joohyun, “I love you guys, and I’m so glad that I have people who worry about me this much.

“I like him.” Joohyun grinned when they pulled away, “I think you make a good pair. Enjoy your youth, (Y/N).” She squeezed her shoulders making (Y/N) snort.

“Alright, mom. You guys are acting like you’re losing me. Don’t worry, you’ll still be number one for me.” She grinned.

“He makes you happy?” Joohyun questioned. 

(Y/N) thought about that for a moment: Johnny’s effortless attitude, his unapologetic honesty and unabashed intimacy. She thought about his teasing and his affection.

“He does.” There was confidence in (Y/N)’s voice.

“Then you have all of our blessings.”

When (Y/N) walked into the villa, Johnny was sitting in the sitting room, crouched over and deep in some thought. He turned to look up at her, giving her a soft smile and patting the space beside him.

“Should I be worried?” She joked as she put her suitcase to the side and sat down.

“I don’t think it was right to rush you,” He breathed in. “In hindsight.”

She huffed and sat back, “Do you also believe that I’m not capable of making a decision that works for me?” Her back deflated.

“No that isn’t what–” He looked away.

“You asked me. I considered it, and I realised that I like the idea. Asking isn’t rushing. Sooyoung wasn’t there so I can let it go. You were.” She turned to face him.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve just been thinking about it.” He groaned, pushing a hand through his hair before stopping to consider a thought. He took a glance at her, “For sometime now, I’ve been very aware of the fact that something’s been missing in my life. I try not to ponder over it because it felt futile. But getting to know you,” A smile tugged at his lips, one he pushed back. “You seem like someone who belongs in the crevices of my life.” He looked down at the couch, “But that isn’t fair to you. You aren’t a clog, you’re a person.”

“Johnny–” Her voice was soft.

 “The idea of what you can be for me is not something I am allowed to impart on you.” He sighed.

“Look at me.” She brushed her fingers on his cheek. He fluttered his eyes up, devastatingly vulnerable in the way he looked at her. “We’ll figure it out. You aren’t wrong for doing anything, we just need to try so we can replace ideas with who we actually are. Hmm?” Her voice was warm.

“I just feel like, I’m giving you something you don’t need. You seem like you’re absolutely fine the way you are.” His smile was sad.

“People shouldn’t need other people. They should want them.” She furrowed her brows, “I think that’s why I like you so much.” Her cheeks dusted pink at the confession. “You’re your own person, and you happened to want someone in your life. Not because you feel empty, but because life can be fuller than it is now.”

“You don’t think that’s unfair?” He questioned, eyes widening.

“No. I think it’s perfect.” She laughed effervescently, taking his hands into hers. “We complete ourselves, another person can only compliment us. A person can be whole in their own right, but life feels better when you have that whole to share with others.”

There was a silence between them for a moment that didn’t press down to stifle. They watched each other, slow and deliberate. 

“I’m a dumbass.” Johnny said suddenly, the words after the long silence making her laugh out loud, “And you’re officially the smartest person I know.”  Johnny came closer, his nose brushing against hers.

“Smarter than you isn’t smartest.” She joked. His jaw fell open, sarcastic shock on his face. She smacked his shoulder, he laughed.

“You know.” His voice was suddenly deeper, eyes darker. “If my inferior brain is recalling correctly.” She giggled at his words, “I think I have an overdue task from last night.” He hummed.

She squinted her eyes, giving him a questioning side eye.

“I said I’d eat you out.” He licked his lips.

Johnny lay on his side, looking up at her. She lay on her stomach, propping her abdomen up on her elbows. Johnny’s fingers brushed up and down her bare back in a slow rhythm she was getting used to.

“I once worked on a policy for two and a half years, only to have it tabled.” She smiled without humour, still bitter at the memory.

Johnny winced, “Okay that’s definitely worse that mine.” He confessed. “My worst experience at work was when I flew to Sydney for an emergency in under an hour of the phone call, only to have the IPO delayed. I didn’t even end up getting the client.” 

She grimaced, both of them laughing.

“Sucks doesn’t it? When you realise that you break yourself repeatedly for things that end up not mattering in the larger scheme of things.” She sighed.

“What you do matters.” Johnny sounded indignant, “You just can’t see it in front of you because the kind of change that has any real consequence is slow.”

She snorted, “You know the majority of the time I do things that are purely performative? So companies can pretend they’re more progressive than they are?” She snorted again, looking away from his eyes to the sheets under her. “It pays better to have no morals apparently.” She scoffed.

“You’re saying that to an investment banker.” He sighed, turning over to face the ceiling. He snaked his hand under her, pressing her flush against his side, “I really started working thinking I’d be different, that I’d help new companies get the genuine backing they deserve. Now everytime I liquidate a failed business, I get one step further from the person I wanted to be.” His eyes drifted to somewhere distant. The air conditioner whirring back to start automatically filling the silence of the room. 

She watched his throat bob, traced the lines of his face with her eyes. “Growing up sucked.” She whispered. Johnny smiled, giving her a distracted nod. “But it’s a part of it. You have to liquidate, cut their losses. It’s the burden of being in the position of making the tough calls.” She tried to comfort him, knowing too well how the disappointment of not living up to your expectations felt. He held her tighter, squeezing the non-existent space between them.

“You too.” He gave her a look, “Just because companies are performative doesn’t make you so.” She gave him a look of genuine gratitude.

A phone call had cut their moment of bliss short. Johnny apologised profusely for some work that was thrust on him. Repeated assurances later, she told him that she’d get some left over work done too. That seemed to reassure him, both of them spending the rest of the day in bed with the sound of laptops clicking in tandem. His presence was as comforting as it was reassuring, it was never easier to be busy in company.

A little after noon, her phone rang.

“Yeah?” She asked Jungwoo.

“Don’t you want to have lunch? I get that you must be busy, but at least store up on some food for the gymnastics you’re no doubt pulling.” She could practically picture him wiggling his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes, “No, we’re busy.” She stated.

“Yes, that’s what I said-” Jungwoo clicked his tongue.

“With work. Office work.” She added the last part to avoid any room for confusion. Jungwoo seemed at a loss for a moment, uncharacteristically silent. A snort left her lips despite herself.

“Is this some kind of very specific foreplay?” He finally managed to say.

“I’m hanging up on you now.” She deadpanned.

“Have fun.” His voice was sing-song to annoy her.

“Who was that?” Johnny looked up from his screen to ask.

“Jungwoo.” She scoffed, “Want to order some lunch?” She asked and he gave her an affirmative nod.

Day 7

Sooyoung looked like she was going to break down into tears. Both Doyoung and (Y/N) juggled between words of reassurances for her and glaring at Johnny.

“(Y/N) was supposed to walk down the aisle with Haechan. You were paired with Seulgi.” She gave Johnny a defeated look. Sooyoung stood at the edge of the balcony of her room, in a hotel robe. The makeup artist was running late and Johnny’s simple request to accompany (Y/N) down the aisle sent the nervous bride off the edge.

“I will walk with Haechan, Sooyoung.” (Y/N) urged her, really not wanting this to be the thing that ruined the morning of her wedding.

“No.” Sooyoung blurted, pausing to tug at the skin around her thumb with her teeth. Seulgi got up from the bed to tug her hand away— something Sooyoung had made her promise to do to save her manicure. “We can do this.” Sooyoung looked up, light filling into her eyes. “You aren’t the best man or maid of honour. It’s fine, it’s completely fine.” She sounded too cheerful. “Taeyong will still walk down with my sister first.” Taeyong gave him a quick nod.

“Sooyoung–” Doyoung’s voice faded, a little concerned.

“Are you sure?” (Y/N) winced.

“Yes.” Sooyoung smiled, before laughing. “It’s my wedding day. Irrespective of who walks with who. I’m walking out with the love of my life.” She laughed again. Doyoung stuttered, looking away as his cheeks flushed red.

“Fine. I’m giving you what you want.” Sooyoung turned to Johnny, who gave her a grateful smile, “Consider it an apology for threatening you yesterday.” Johnny grinned, giving her a nod.

“Now go.” She turned back to Doyoung, “This is bad luck.” She stated.

The next time (Y/N) saw Johnny, she was ready to tell him off for the stunt he pulled in the morning. But, and she absolutely blamed the setting they were in, when she finally saw him she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but give him a shy smile.

It was a perfect afternoon despite it’s hold ups. The tide was higher than anticipated so they had to shift the aisle to a flower garden that overlooked the beach instead of the sand. The blooms of many colours complimenting the blue and white motif Sooyoung had chosen better than the initial beach. 

Soft music played as Johnny walked up to her, giving her his elbow to put her arm into.

“You look beautiful.” Johnny whispered into her ear.

“You too.” She said, making him laugh.

Even as they reached the end of the aisle and went to opposite ends, he kept his eyes on her. They held their gazes until the music changed, announcing the bride’s arrival. (Y/N) looked down the aisle to her best friend, her face lit with abundant happiness and looking more beautiful than a goddess in her wedding dress.

She turned back to glance at Doyoung, a weight lifting off her chest when she saw his eyes rimmed red. She knew Sooyoung deserved no less. The sight was one of hope, of the possibilities of a future, of contentment. When she turned back to Johnny, he was staring at her still. The chairs shuffled as Sooyoung reached the end of the aisle, everybody sat back in place for the ceremony to begin. 

Johnny’s lips spread into a slow smile when their eyes met.

Epilogue

(Y/N) walked into her office on an early fall morning, a month after coming back from the wedding, to find what looked like an arrangement of candy.

“What is this?” She asked her assistant who looked up and then beamed at her.

“You tell me. It’s for you!” She sounded excited.

(Y/N) came closer to the thing, too large and too well arranged. She picked up the card tucked under a box of strawberries covered in chocolates.

‘Because you don’t like flowers, chocolates were the next cheesy thing I could think of. I’m back and I realised on my way to the airport I didn’t take your number. Dinner? - Your maybe boyfriend, Johnny.’

Her lips tugged as she tried not to smile too much. Her assistant’s phone rang, making her turn away rather reluctantly.

“Hello?” She looked up at her boss, pointing the phone at her. “It’s for you.” She walked up to the receiver, taking it from her assistant.

“Hello?” She asked.

A small groan whispered from the other end, “I’ve missed your voice.” She had to grab the desk. “They told me the gift was delivered so I thought I’d call. Your assistant told me you come in after nine.”

She felt a little at loss, “How did you get this number?” She questioned.

“My assistant did actually, very kind of him. He found your organisation and then your office.” He sounded proud. “I had to do something since I didn’t even remember to take your phone number.” He huffed.

“You could have just asked Sooyoung.” She laughed, avoiding her assistant’s face as her eyes lit up. She pointed at the arrangement before pointing at the phone, mouthing something that she assumed was a question. (Y/N) gave her a nod.

Johnny clicked his tongue, “I wanted you to give me your number. Incase you had second thoughts.” He paused, “So?” He questioned.

“So what?”

Johnny sighed, “Dinner, (Y/N). You and me.” He broke down the sentence, she grinned.

“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. 

It was an early spring night when (Y/N) had gotten home from work. She took off her shoes and dropped her bag to the floor with unfocused motions. As she reached across the sitting room, her phone rang. She had to go all the way back for it.

“Hmm?” She spoke into the device, a little surprised herself by the fatigue in her own voice.

“That bad huh?” Johnny chuckled.

“They tabled it again.” She sighed, trying to level the shake in her voice and blink away the tears that threatened to spill. There was a silence on his end, she heard the echoes of his walking cease. 

Then his steps picked up again, “I just got off work.” He said casually. “I’m coming over to eat whatever you’re going to make.” She laughed at his words.

“I can’t believe you remember that.” She grinned.

“I’m a good listener.” She should practically hear him shrug, “And an excellent boyfriend.” He reminded her, she heard the smile in his voice for real this time.

When (Y/N) answered the door, Johnny gave her a smile. Lifting the box he was carrying.

“You liked the cake from this bakery, so I thought I’d pick one up. It’s cream cheese. I got an almond croissant just in case you didn’t.” He gave her a peck on the lips as he walked into her home. “It smells amazing.” He beamed.

She smiled at him, unsaid words of gratitude on her face that he seemed to understand. He shrugged off his coat, hanging it beside hers and then loosened the tie around his neck.

“It’ll take an hour for it to finish cooking. I’m done with it otherwise.” She announced. 

Johnny took a few steps closer, arm snaking around her waist, “I can think of a few things we can do till then.” His lips brushed her ears.

It was an afternoon in late autumn. Johnny picked up a box of cookies from an aisle, looking it over for a second before putting it into the cart.

“A year I’ve known you, and I still can’t get used to how you will pick up literally anything while shopping.” She poked his ribs. Johnny put his arm around her shoulders, shrugging.

“It looked nice.” He mumbled.

“What if you don’t like it?” She questioned.

“I won’t know unless I try it, will I?” He hummed.

Her huff was a silent yield.

“Do you think I should get the liquid detergent or the powder one?” She questioned, eyes focused on the bottom aisle with the culprits in question in her line of sight.

“What’s the difference?” Johnny sounded confused, standing beside her and following her gaze like it would help answer his question.

“Liquid feels nicer, and is generally easier to use. Powder lasts longer.” She explained.

Johnny hummed thoughtfully, “Liquid sounds like the better bet to me.” He answered like the choice was an obvious one.

She huffed, “You act so spoiled sometimes.” She said incredulously. “I’ll have to get two if I get the liquid because I won’t have the time if I run out of detergent mid-week.” She stomped her foot slightly. An amused smile spread on Johnny’s face. “Two is heavier.”

“It’s just cloth soap. Get two if you have to, I’m going to carry it to your apartment anyway.” He snorted when she gave him an unconvinced frown, “And since it’s obvious to me by now, take the powder since that’s what you would have taken away.”

(Y/N) seemed pleased, turning to pick up the packet of powder detergent.

Johnny huffed, “Brat.”

She placed the bag in the trolley, turning to him with a raised eyebrow, “Excuse me?”

Johnny scoffed, “That doesn’t work on me. Save your intimidating gazes for work and the people who get too close on the subway.” He raised his brow back. 

Her lower lip stuck out as she looked a little flustered on being called out like that. Johnny laughed stepping closer to her.

“Brat.” He reaffirmed.

“Shut up.” She tried to hold back the whine as her cheeks heated up, “I am not!” She nudged him with her elbow.

“Don’t deny it.” He reprimanded, grabbing the string of the hoodie she wore to draw her closer, his hoodie. “You’re cute. But a brat nonetheless.”

“Oh my god.” She groaned with embarrassment. “This is why Mark refuses to go out in public with you anymore, do you know that?.” She pushed him away.

“See?” Johnny chuckled, pointing to her actions as proof of his statement.

She laughed, “Fine!” She sounded exasperated, “I am then. What will you do? Spank me?” She scoffed. She expected him to drop it, instead something shifted in his gaze.

“(Y/N).” His voice dropped lower than her stomach at his voice.

“Yes?” She intended to sound casual, instead her words came out a squeak.

“Would you like me to spank you?” He put a hand on her waist.

Fuck. She thought. The buzz of the lights above them and the occasional voice over the speakers along with the murmur of people made her very aware that they were inside a supermarket.

“Would you like to spank me?” She deflected his statement.

He squeezed the hand on her waist, making her jump slightly. They were in a supermarket on a Saturday afternoon.

“That’s not what I asked.” He snapped softly. She bit her lip at the authority in his voice. “Would you like it?” His eyes burned into hers.

Slowly, she nodded at him. Chewing her lips, she decided that now was a better time than ever to test a suspicion she had for a few months. “I’d love it, I think.” She paused, her heart beating and her cheeks burning with a mix of excitement and mortification. “Daddy.”

She wanted the ground to swallow her. Instead Johnny groaned with such delicious desperation that her stomach flipped.

“You.” He took a slow breath, taking another dangerous look at her. “Are going to pay for that.” The words struggled their way out. “Fuck, (Y/N). I can’t believe you just said that.” He combed his fingers through his hair, the words were somewhere between a growl and a gasp.

“Me neither.” She squeezed her eyes, groaning at her own horror.

“Let’s go home.” He huffed, “I want.” He paused, “I need to go home.” He slipped his hand to hers, holding it and giving it a squeeze.

She almost said yes, her breathing too shallow for her brain to have the adequate oxygen for coherent thoughts. But she sighed, shaking her head like she was trying to shake away the fog.

“You know I don’t have a costco card. I need to finish shopping. Otherwise I’m going to run out of dish soap mid-week” She begged, disappointed at her own conscientious response. To her surprise and Johnny’s credit, he nodded. Taking a step back, Johnny ran a hand through his hair, fixing his denim jacket and then giving her a soft smile like nothing ever happened.

She stared at the aisle out of her reach, the box of tea she was looking for on a shelf beyond her reach. She glanced back to find Johnny looking intently at a label. She scoffed. The only time he was particular about what he purchased was coffee and wine.

She glanced back at the aisle, deciding to risk the attempt at stretching up to get it while he was occupied. She didn’t want to hear the teasing at the moment. She was just out of reach when his arm wrapped around her, lifting up to assist her effort. She looked at him when he placed her back on her feet, bracing herself for the smirk. But his eyes were still glued to whatever coffee he was trying to scrutinise. She frowned.

“Are you seriously thinking of getting grocery store coffee?” She asked him.

He looked up at her with curiosity on his face, “I don’t remember the last time I had some.” The disgusted face she gave him made him laugh. “It says it’s decaf, so I thought i’d get it to try.” Her expression twisted further.

“Please you’re breaking my heart right now. It’s pre ground as well.” She looked affronted. Johnny laughed, putting the bag back where he found it.

“This is why I love you.” He chuckled, walking towards the trolley.

“You what?”

 She wanted to slap herself. He said it so casually, like it wasn’t the first time he had said that; while she felt like every single inch of her was firing up.

Johnny sighed, like he sensed her panic. Coming closer towards her and taking her hand in his. “I don’t expect you to say it back immediately, say when you mean it. When you know you feel it too.” He paused, “Or don’t. Either way, I had to let you know how I feel.” 

She had to kiss him, grocery store with a weekend crowd be damned. It was a reassurance, telling him that if he was already there, she was on the way.

It was late in the night in the middle of winter. It snowed outside while they sat wrapped in a huge blanket in front of Johnny’s fireplace. He kissed the back of her neck, her head tilting to the side for his benefit. Their skin was warm against each other and it was easy to forget that it was the coldest night of the year.

“I have to be in the capital next week.” She said as his lips started their journey down her spine. She shifted, turning to him. “I wouldn’t have gone, but I have a meeting with someone and I think I can get an education bill squeezed in.” She put a hand on her chest.

“Okay.” He gave her a smile, too generous.

“I’m going to miss your birthday.” Her eyes drifted, pained.

Johnny’s smile didn’t falter, his arms tightening around her waist and raising her higher on his lap. “I can fly in for the day. You can take me to that chilli place you claim is the best you’ve had. I still think the place in Chicago is better, but we can wait for you to have that.” He chuckled, before his eyes turned to something more tender, “I don’t care where I am or what we do, I just want to spend it with you.” He stated.

She kissed him with such sudden urgency that he almost fell over, an arm quickly going behind him to keep them both steady. 

She pushed back, a wide grin on her face, “I love you, you know that?”

“Of course.” He hummed, unfazed seemingly by the confession. 

She understood why, there were times when words truly were unnecessary in the face of other things. She kissed him again, arms wrapping around his neck to tug him closer to her.

It was an early summer morning when (Y/N) rolled over in bed. Johnny’s arms pulled her closer wordlessly, a small huff leaving her at the sudden movement.

She rolled back to face him, “I can’t believe it's already Monday.” She sighed, pushing the hair out of his face. Johnny sighed, as the words slowly registered in his sleepy head.

“Don’t go.” His voice was a soft huff.

She chuckled, “I have to go to work.” She brushed her knuckles against his cheek, a small pout forming on her face nonetheless.

“No.” He paused, looking at her carefully for a moment, “I mean don’t go back to your apartment. Move in with me.” He turned over to lie on his side, still looking at her.

“What?” She felt caught off-guard.

“It’s closer to your work. I have that costco card you covet so much.” He grinned. “And you know what a fabric conditioner is.” She snorted at his words, making him grin. “Plus, I have a coffee grinder.” He said like it was a grand prize— and he was right.

His hand went to her face, thumb brushing her upper lip and his grin turning into something softer. “We both know time is a luxury for us. I want to spend each moment I can with you. I want to come home to you and wake up to your face every morning.” His eyes traced over her face.

“Every morning?” She smiled.

Johnny hummed with affirmation, “Every morning. Someday I’m going to bite the bullet and ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.” A lopsided grin formed on his face when her breathing hitched, “But for now. Just move in with me.” He questioned.

She felt a little winded, his confessions always as effortless as his very disposition. But with him she had learned something, love was supposed to be exactly that— effortless.

“Okay.” She nodded, “To the moving in.” She added, “The rest we can discuss at a better time.” Johnny smiled, giving her a nod and pulling her back into his arms.

[voidwerks]

Legiones Astartes: Rome 30,0000 - Electric Boogaloo - Part 1

It’s been several years since I did my informational posts on warp travel and threats to humanity in the 40k universe, and I was feeling particularly motivated so here’s a quick, dirty guide to where it all started. The bois that everyone in 40k loves (or loves to hate), the Astartes!

In the far off future of the 31st millennium, humanity has just recovered from nearly beating itself into extinction yet again, and the after effects of space elves blowing a permanent hole in reality after the biggest party the galaxy has ever seen. After thousands of years of plotting and planning, the Emperor of Mankind decided the time was right, sorted everyone’s shit out on Earth, and set out to make the galaxy a safer place for humanity. Whether anyone wanted it or not. To do this, he mustered tens of thousands of super soldiers, lead by men who were basically demi-gods, and sent them forth across the stars in what was known as the Great Crusade. This is the story of the sons of the sons, the Primarchs can have their own post another day.

Numero Uno, the the First Legion, the Dark Angels. Clad in black and silver armor, the Dark Angels were the first marines to be created. Between that and their assistance with retaking the Earth prior to the Great Crusade, they were allowed special permissions later Legions did not have. In particular, they had access to some of the oldest, strangest, and sometimes horrifying bits of technology that the Emperor had stashed away for a rainy day. Even 10k years later in 40k, the Angels still uphold that privilege, and if things ever get completely and truly fucked, they’ve got a few aces up their sleeves just in case. Owing to the culture of their adoptive homeworld, Caliban, the Dark Angels have a strong knightly aesthetic, as well as plenty of ranks, titles, and associated iconography so everyone can know what kind of badass you are. 

Second ISN’T the Second Legion. Something bad happened to them and no one is allowed to talk about it. It’s actually the THIRD LEGION, the Emperor’s Children! Among the Legions, the Emperor’s Children had the unique distinction of being allowed to wear his personal emblem on their armor and carry his name. This was the Emperor’s gift to them after a company of them serving as honor guards during a victory parade, where they protected the Emperor from an assassination attempt involving a black hole bomb. The Emperor’s Children were perfectionists: anything that can be done can be done better, and they could get a bit salty when their brother Legions out-did them. Beyond that, they were renowned for their artistic skills, as well as their interpersonal skills with ‘mortal’ humans. While many marines either didn’t care for regular humans, or straight up disliked them, the Third Legion got along quite well with people, to the point they were often sent as diplomats to introduce long-lost planets of humans into the Imperium peacefully.

The Fourth Legion, completely unrelated to Marvel, were the Iron Warriors. To the Fourth Legion, war is entirely a matter of numbers. While other Legions fight with spirit, ferocity, nobility, the Iron Warriors fight with a machine-like efficiency and calculated planning. Rivals of the Seventh Legion, the Iron Warriors were particularly fond of siege-tactics. They’d bombard their foes with massed artillery, push in with columns of tanks, and hit critical points with forces of marines, changing tactics along the way as the variables shifted. While they took pride in their accomplishments, cold personalities and a ruthless fighting style didn’t make them many friends. Combined with feeling like they didn’t get much recognition for their efforts, often being stuck with some of the worst fights, the Iron Warriors tended to resent most of the other Legions. But no matter how tough, no matter how ugly, they would not bend, for the Iron Warriors always completed a task given to them.

Next in line, we have the Fifth Legion, the White Scars. Possessed of free spirits and a healthy dose of superstition, the White Scars preferred style of combat was: as quickly as physically possible. Whenever possible, they would ride to battle on anti-grav jet-bikes or speeders. Lacking that, on traditional motor bikes. Reminiscent of Mongolian horse riders, the White Scars fought from their mounts as often as they could, enjoying every moment of it, even if death might come at them at a few hundred miles per hour. Considered odd by most of their brother Legions, the Scars’ aloof personalities and plans divined by seers often saw them tearing about the galaxy in smaller warbands. Never staying in one place for long, they roamed wherever the winds of fate would take them.

Continuing on, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: SKYRIM STILL EXISTS. But really, the Sixth Legion, the Space Wolves. It doesn’t take much to explain these boys, the Space Wolves were vikings in space. They could be a bit dense, were prone to showing off, loved getting into fights, and even invented a kind of alcohol that could get marines drunk. In peace, they could be a bit rough around the edges but were jovial types. Beyond that however, the Wolves had a much more notorious side. While their brothers would mock them at times for being a bit ‘simple’, they were also feared as the Emperor’s hounds. If someone fucked up somewhere in the galaxy, the Wolves were the sent to deal the punishment. Typically, this involved plenty of axes and other people’s heads. While unconfirmed even 10k years later, it is rumored that the Space Wolves were responsible for reaving both the Second and Eleventh Legions at the Emperor’s command. Whatever they did must have been horrible, for it resulted in the culling of tens of thousands of marines and two demi-god primarchs. So remember kids, tug on the wolf’s tail at your own peril.

Eternal rivals to the Fourth Legion, here comes the Seventh Legion, the Imperial Fists. While not as bitter as their brothers in the Fourth, the Fists shared a lot of similarities with them. Blunt, no-nonsense, analytical, monumentally stubborn, fond of hitting their foes as hard as possible, on the surface the two seemed quite alike. But while the Iron Warriors were frequently unconcerned with what happened after their battles, grinding entire cities into dust, the Imperial Fists would always build and fortify. Wherever they passed, they would leave their mark in the form of walls, repaired cities, and forts to ensure their hold. This earned them the distinction of being recalled late in the Crusade to oversee the fortification of the entire Solar System. The reclamation of the galaxy was nearly complete, and it was their task to ensure that Terra would be able to withstand anything the universe could throw at it from that point forward. At least, that was the idea...

What stalks the night, strikes fear into the hearts of the unjust, and has bat wings? Move over Bruce Wayne, it’s the Eighth Legion, the Night Lords. Among the Legions, the Night Lords were unique in the fact that they did not operate like a traditional army. Unlike other Legions, the Night Lords’ favorite method of fighting was to strike fear and terror into their enemies. Considered brutal and sadistic even in the early days, the Night Lords would ‘pacify’ star systems by cutting off supply lines, destroying infrastructure, terrorizing civilians, and savagely breaking their enemy’s will before finishing the job. Known for taking bone trophies, using blood as paint, painting their armor with skulls, and even fashioning people’s faces into tea cozies, there were very few in the Imperium that genuinely liked the Night Lords. In fact, late into the Crusade they were even risking censure or a visit from the Space Wolves. But as they maintained from their inception: they were a necessary evil. Not everyone in the galaxy was reasonable. Some didn’t even respect the immense might of the Astartes. There were some that would only listen to fear. And the poor buggers that wouldn’t even listen to that? They would be made into examples, slowly, painfully, and without any remorse. 

A breath of fresh air from the Night Lords, the Ninth Legion, the Blood Angels. Where the Night Lords were immensely cruel, showcasing some of the worst humanity had to offer, the Blood Angels showed some of the best. Kindness, nobility, flowing golden locks of hair with slight curls, using their strength to protect the weak, seeing the goodness in others, the Blood Angels were quite human for heavily augmented super-soldiers. Well, they did have one teensy little problem. Just a bit of casual bloodlust that could leave them going into a frenzy now and then (sometimes even drinking blood) if they didn’t keep their tempers in check. However, largely due to their own self-discipline they were able to keep this fact a secret for the most part. 

Last (for now, don’t want this to be the next Color of the Sky post), but definitely not the least, the Tenth Legion, the Iron Hands. While the Iron Warriors have a very mechanical way of thinking, and a strong affinity for tech, the Iron Hands take this to a completely new level. To them, anything could be improved by mechanizing it, up to and frequently including themselves. The Hands were notorious for heavily modifying themselves, and had more tanks than any other Legion, tied only with the Iron Warriors. Ironically for a Legion obsessed with machinery, the Iron Hands are also possessed of a volatility only shared by their brothers in the Sixth and the Twelfth Legions. In contrast to the cool, collected rationality of machines, Astartes of the Iron Hands were notoriously hot-headed and liable to making rash decisions if they lost their tempers. This alternating clash frequently manifested as contempt for their own ‘weakness’, but also as contempt for others, resulting in the Iron Hands keeping very few friends, even amongst themselves.

[2lim3rz]

Reunion After Death [40K FIC]

SO, I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO TO THE STARS HAHA, ANGST TIME! ANGST TIME DING DING DING, Y’ALL’VE HAD HAPPY SAD FLUFF TOO LONG!

Why am I so cheery about that? No clue, anyways have some Lorgar being dead, does this work in legit canon? NO! Turn the brain off and cry!

----

He awoke and there was.. an endless field. An endless field with the greenest grass he ever saw, with the most gentle of hills. Distantly, he saw a pond, maybe mountains. Taking a deep breath, the air was sweet and invigorating.

“Lorgar?” a voice roused him and he turned, his heart stopped.

“..Ferrus..? But- You’re-”

The man smiled, truly smiled until his eyes squinted. There was no lines of stress, only a healthy gleam of youth. His arms were no longer encased in metal. The sight was so foreign, so.. unsettling in a way.

“Dead? Yes, so are you, brother.” Lorgar stepped back at those words, took in well and truly how Ferrus Manus was dressed in traditional Medusian clothing. There was not one scratch or scar on his body.

Raising his own arms, Lorgar looked at them. He no longer had the skin he had as a Daemon Prince, neither did he even have the tattoos. It was… it was so liberating! So liberating to see the traditional Colchisian clothing on him. Yet where were they?”

“The others will want to see you, I’m sure, but someone else wanted to see you first.” Ferrus said and it shook Lorgar from his reverie.

“Me? Who?”

Ferrus shrugged with a smaller smile. Why was he so joyful to see him? Didn’t he know the part he played in his doom? Suddenly Lorgar felt a wave of what felt like anger before he realized what it truly was: Overwhelming shame.

“Someone who called himself your first father. He’s over there, at the pond.” the man raised his arm, pointing to the pond he saw earlier “We’ll be waiting at the tree on the hill. Take your time.”

Stunned, Lorgar watched as he walked away, whistling something. While he wanted to confront his brother on what he meant, he wanted to know whoever it was to claim to be his father. His father was the Emperor of Mankind before he forsook him.. was this some sick play of revenge? Giving him this taste of heaven and forgiveness before casting him out to a new hell?

How did he die? A heaven meant death. He already ‘died’ in a sense in his ascension, casting out his mortal flesh and blood to become a Daemon Prince. All he remembered was being in a fight.. a fight… that no details arose. He could not remember as he suddenly found himself looking at a man sitting by the water’s edge. He was so familiar.. why was he so familiar? Somehow it was not the Emperor, neither was it Kor Phaeron. The man was too thin, too wiry.

Turning around and standing, Lorgar fell to his knees.

It was Fan Morgal. While he could not recall the specifics over eons of memory, he could remember the blissful feelings. True familial love and not, what he now suddenly knew, was manipulative abuse.

“A shame we’re meeting this way, isn’t it, my boy?” his voice wasn’t the rasp it used to be, his resurrecting memory told him that. Just like him, he was dressed in robes, but it was odd. All Lorgar knew was the traveler's garb he wore.

He couldn’t speak as Fan approached him and hesitated.

“You’re..” Lorgar’s voice cracked. There was no helping it as it seemed the other found his resolve and hugged Lorgar tightly. With shaking arms, Lorgar returned the hug. Tears fled his eyes as he began to sob.

“I’m so sorry, Fan, I’m so sorry!” he felt as though he were a young boy in the arms of his first foster’s arms, it was almost liberating to felt himself blubbering his words “I- I didn’t know Kor Phaeron was going to.. I’m suh-such a disappointment and..”

Lorgar felt himself rocking slightly as Fan slowly rubbed his back.

“Hush, hush Lorgar. I’m not angry and I’m not disappointed. You just didn’t know, my boy. You just didn’t know..”

“But I could have changed! I could- I could have done something but.. but Tzeen.. and the others.. and then there was..”

“Hush Lorgar.” Fan’s voice turned more stern as he lightly pushed against Lorgar’s shoulders. The primarch let go as if the touch was fire, he still shook and clenched his fists. “I told you, I don’t hold any ill will against you. No! Give me a moment to speak now, you wily ulchao!”

Lorgar had began to protest against Fan Morgal. To try and ask why and of the things he had done. Yet he stayed quiet, both eager to have answers and still in shock of what was going on.

“It was only seventeen days I’ve had with you Lorgar. I.. admit I wasn’t the best of men, but I knew I’d make myself better the moment we had found you in that desert and it rained. That bastard Kor Phaeron may have lead you astray, but look at you now.”

Fan smiled, and though his bearded face was as though he was in his prime, Lorgar sensed the weathered age that loomed within “My boy’s all grown up! He became a leader for his people, shitty goals or not! You liberated slaves. And though you made those who followed you slaves of a different name, you stuck true to your goals and never wavered.That is something I respect, son. Besides, you’re going to find that.. in this place? The past doesn’t matter. Mistakes don’t matter.”

It hurt to cry so much, it did. It well and truly did as Lorgar looked to the ground and doubled over as though bowing. His first father was proud of him. Words that he never knew he needed to hear in all his life were spoken.

This time, Lorgar stood and lifted the man into a hug. Fan laughed heartily and Lorgar found him hiccuping along until his back was being playfully slapped. In return, the primarch placed the man back down.

“Now put me down, kid. You got brothers to see and I have kids to help.”

“You’re.. you’re not coming with me, Fan? I’m sure you’d enjoy meeting Ferrus- and.. brothers..? You sure they want to see me?” Sighing, Fan shook his head and patted Lorgar on his arm as if to encourage him.

“I think I’ve met him, he’s pleasant enough. I’m just as sure that he already told you that you’re meeting the other big boys, right?” Lorgar nodded slowly “Good. It’s not like I’m leaving you for.. oh.. a few hundred or however many years I’ve been gone, no. We’ll meet up right again soon enough and you can tell me all of your adventures, or we can tell stories just like old times.”

“..Just like old times..” he echoed back, taking a deep breath soon after and standing “Yes, yes I will. Thank you, Fan.” the man chuckled and waved Lorgar away when he began to search for a hill with a tree, and soon found it.

Just as he was halfway there, a massive winged shadow flashed overhead. It was much larger than the small songbirds he had glimpsed, and had the body of a human.

Sanguinius!

Lorgar looked overhead at the winged figure as he did a rolling flip in the air. Throwing his fist in the air and bolting out a cheer, Lorgar began to run for the tree and saw seven other figures standing beneath its shade.

He slowed his pace, his smile fading as dread took its place. There they all were! Konrad, with a healthy shine to his skin, no longer snarling. Then there was Magnus, red as can be! Perturabo, similarly to Lorgar in being bald, no longer did he have those head cables. Fulgrim, his fair and handsome appearance restored to its full humanity. With Horus, a companionable and happy grin on his face as he and Sanguinius embraced with laughter.

Two others, Lorgar did not recognize at first before it dawned on him that it was Mortarion without his respirator.. and Angron without his butcher’s nails.

He felt like the traitor he was to approach his smiling brothers. Well, not all of them smiled, but they certainly were all at peace. Nonetheless, he felt awkward and was the first to speak. Or would have if Angron didn’t stop him.

“Don’t you say it! Wise of the wise, pah! You ask the most obvious questions!”

‘Wha..what? What!” Lorgar was caught off-guard, blinking owlishly and stepping back with a yelp as Angron tackled him into a ferocious hug.

“Shut up! Shut up and just enjoy the moment you big word bastard!” Lorgar laughed at the new absurdity of the situation and at Angron’s words.

“Hey, thought I was that!” Horus barked over the new chorus of shouts and laughs. Angron soon let go and good-naturally slapped him on the back towards the gathering. A long moment of silence passed, they clearly awaited him to say something.

“You.. you all.. forgive me..? You forgive,” Lorgar paused, looking to the majority that had betrayed both the Imperium and their family “us?”

Sanguinius moved towards him as Fulgrim whispered something to Ferrus and the normally stoic figure cracked a snicker. Standing imperiously with his wings slightly flared, Sanguinius grasped Lorgar’s forearms and smiled.

“Of course we do, Lorgar. Why else are we all gathered here, laughing and carrying on? Sure, it was hard for some of us at first but.. you know..”

He turned and sent a look to Konrad who, despite his healthy appearance, gave an animalistic teeth-bearing grin with clattering laughter.

“We make it work!” the Angel finished, letting his arms go.

“Of course, you make it sound as if it was so easy, Sanguinius! Ferrus tried to chop my head of!” Fulgrim guffawed, just as Ferrus forced his brother into a headlock and harshly rubbed his knuckles on his head. The two shouted and yelped, playfully tousling with each other.

“We’ve forgiven and, in some ways, forgotten.” Mortarion shrugged from his post of leaning against the tree. Hearing his voice of what it was truly meant to be was off-putting.

“Don’t worry, we all looked at him like that when he first spoke.” Perturabo snorted.

“So.. we’re all dead then? All of us? How? I mean..”

It was Magnus who shrugged, responding with how they all couldn’t remember the circumstances of their deaths except for Sanguinius and Ferrus who only knew they were murdered by the other brothers when they saw them. The others, whose and if their deaths were known by the others, were told of how it happened. Which truthfully meant only Horus knew how he was killed.

“And that’s why you wake up.” it was Horus who spoke after.

“Wake up? But I’m dead?” When would this confusion end?

“Dead?”

“Mhm. You thought this could exist? Traitors never get what they want.”

Lorgar opened his eyes. He raised his hands, which trembled when they were revealed to be the same hands he had since his ascension. There was no heaven to be had. His brothers would never forgive him, not even the ones that were on his side.

[fipindustries]

Mottom Incubus Mammon Gog-agog Solomon (Sorry jadis and jaganoth but 5 limit and they've had less screen time)

dude you just made my day, what a good question to ask. i love the demiurges so much, i love their stories and i love their lore. we’re going to from least to best. i want to clarify before we begin, they are all fantastic characters and there is not a single one of them that i havent enjoyed immensly whenever they were on the page

jaganoth would have been last anyway, i know the comic implied there is more to him that we think and that he is not just a brute but that is all i’ve seen and that is all i care.

mottom is next. she’s just kind of a petty bitch with your typical sob story, without any larger philosophical motivations. also her powers are just kind of generic “i can do magic and have a flying fortress” and she got bitchslapped hard by cio and allison. she herself is aware that she is the lesser of the demiurges.

incubus vampire bowie is pretty cool and the fact that he started as some kind of feral hobo child is even cooler. just. the fact that this disgusting animal could become this suave, sassy, queer loan shark is hilarious to me. also him being this magical metaphisical loanshark is really cool. with all that said, the suave, seducting, sexy evil vampire is not particularly an aesthetic that calls to me as much as the other demiurges do

jadis i find more the concept of this character cool rather than the character itself. someone who saw infinity and his mind was broken. perpetually frozen and wanting to die but kept alive by his deranged followers. the mystery and the fact that we know basically nothing about this guy add points because of the intrigue, but it also takes points away because there is not really a character yet. i dont think allison and co will really even fight against the guy in the story. jadis also helps illustrate more graphically than any other demiurge how these are absolutely broken people, twisted by their desire of power, they all achieved immortality in different ways and all these ways were fucked up, and jadis’ more than most.

———[here we cross the line of absolute top tier, i can make arguments for why one is better than the otheer but they are all absolutely fantastic in their own ways]—————————————————————————————————

David Salomon it is no secret that kill six billion demons’ aesthetic is heavily inspired by asian culture, specifically its religious iconography. mainly hinduism and buddhism. and yet here comes david to represent the western cultures in throne. his blend of abrahamic with ancient greek is delicious.the fact that he is in some senses the leader of the demiurges much in the same way abrahamic religions took over the world.

the demiurges represent a lot of things, mainly the seven cardinal sins, but beyond that they show all the different kinds of corrupt authority out there. jadis is the cold academic stuck in its ivory tower, mottom is the overbearing abusive mother, jagannoth is the idea of rule of strength, etc. davir represents, above all else, the tyrannical god king. leto atreides II, the god emperor of mankind from warhammer 40k, the ultimate figure of lawful evil authority.

also he is just so smug

Mammon  purely as a character i think mammon is the best of the demiurges. i dont know why but his story as this lowley servant who once aeons ago dared look up to the sky and wish for more and who, aeons later ended up atop a mountain of gold soaked in the blood of his kind. that is enough to earn my heart, but then abbadon, the absolute madman, takes it one step further and once we meet him in hia infinite vault… he is just a senile old man, a poor pathetic creature who cant even remember why he cared so much about the gold he accumulated. and that would have been enough to rend me to tears BUT THEN, we get to meet this community of people, living peacefully in the vault of the dragon, and we find out that they are all would-be heroes and presunt dragon slayers who went up to the dragon, saw how pitiful this poor creature was and threw away their swords and decided to stay there and live in harmony, forever counting the endless gold alongside the monster. and to this i can only say:

VENERATE THE COUNT!

PITY THE DRAGON! IA IA!

Gog A Gog

Out—out are the lights—out all!

    And, over each quivering form,

The curtain, a funeral pall,

  Comes down with the rush of a storm,  

While the angels, all pallid and wan,

    Uprising, unveiling, affirm

That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”    

   And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.

i am shameless. i just waxed rapsodic about emotional arcs and philosophical motivations and at the end of the day im just a sucker for the clown girl. what can i say? that the concept of a girl who was so insanely envious that when she got eaten by a pile of worms her spirit somehow transcended into the hive and the worms began to consume all in their wake trying to become what they consumed is insane?

i could go on to explain how every demiurge is a universe conquering force of nature in their own right but gog a gog stands above all of them as the most universe ending of them all. if it were not for the fact that she’s insane.

i could talk about how characters that seem wacky and silly and stupid but deep down they hide schemes and machinations and a powerlevel to make the andgels yoke is absolute crack for me

i could even talk about how “the worm” has been across cultures the idea of the enemy, from the luciferan snake to the wyrm to the dragon, how worm culturally encompases both this lowly and pitiful creature and this world consuming force, this eternal hunger and youll be nothing but dust, dust such that the worm will pass you by.

but no. no.

i just fucking love clown girls. what can i say?

[thecleverdame]

Sleepy Hollow - Chapter Two

Series Master List

Pairings: Sam x Reader, mentions of Dean x Jo

Summary: In 1799, specialized police constables Sam and Dean Winchester are sent from New York City to a small town called Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders. Approached by the town’s council, the Winchesters discover the local residents believe that the murders are the work of a deadly Hessian horseman whose head has been mysteriously chopped off. With help from the beautiful Y/N Van Tassel, Sam Winchester’s investigation takes him further through the dark wood where more murders have been occurring. What Sam does not realize is that the mysterious Horseman is being controlled by someone in a sinister plot to kill the most suitable men in the village.

Warnings: Canon-level violence, murder, smut, horror, gore and a little fluff for good measure.

Words: 40k

Beta:  ilikaicalie

This series is completed. You can read it on my Patreon for a monthly pledge of 2.50. This pledge includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

Flat of Sam Winchester Sam packs his bags, methodically wrapping jars of chemicals and gently folding anatomy charts. He’s going to bring as much of his laboratory as the carriage will allow.

“Do you truly need all this?” Dean is holding a heavy jar up to the light, it’s contents questionable as the specimen floats to the side of the glass. “Dad didn’t need fancy magnifying glasses, he did the job with a gun and a bible.”

“Dad was convinced there were monsters in every dark corner of the world. He was just another believer who fell in with the mass hysteria.” Sam doesn't like to talk about John, there’s too much unfinished business. “How many genuine poltergeists have we come across in our life, three?”

“Four.” Dean holds up four fingers triumphantly. “You always forget the woman in white.”

Sam looks up as if remembering for the first time. “That seems like a lifetime ago.”

“I suppose it does.” Getting up from his perch, Dean wanders around the room as Sam goes about his work. The walls are filled with charts and maps, Sam’s always had a secret pension for cartography.

Above the fireplace there two photos. One is of their parents, John sitting in a chair, Mary standing behind him with her hand placed on his shoulder. There is no joy, only long faces as they look into the camera. The second is of a beautiful blonde woman, her hair falling over her shoulder, her name written in elaborate calligraphy across the bottom of the frame: Jessica. Dean takes the pictures, making a close inspection of the woman who was once part of his brother's life.

“If you’re going to touch my things, you can wait downstairs.” Sam plucks the frame from Dean’s hand and tucks it into his case, along with his clothing.

“You can’t have that much more to pack. There’s nothing left.” Dean holds his hands out, showcasing the bare room.

“I’m almost done.” Sam walks to the window, opening a birdcage with a bright red cardinal inside.

“What will you do with him?” Dean watches the bird flutter out of the cage and then out the open window.

“Fly free. It is a good day for sad farewells.” Sam watches it go, looking down at the coach on the street below. “Our carriage awaits.”

-

It takes an hour to get out of New York City, the coach lumbering past the city limits, forgoing civilization. The wide road narrows, a single dirt path that leads onward through thickly forested wilderness.

“Jo had no interest in accompanying us?” Sam inquires, looking out the window at the never ending sea of trees. Dusk is falling but they plan to continue on throughout the night.

“She’s unhappy with me.” Dean shrugs, his lip curling.

“With good reason.” Sam lifts an eyebrow.

“I don’t need your judgment as well as hers. We’ll have a child the normal way, just as everyone else does.”

“Not if you’re with me on this investigation. I believe one has to be present to conceive a child.” Sam can’t help but tease.

“Don’t get smart.” Dean kicks his brother's boot. “We’ve plenty of time. She’s not that old, although to hear her tell it, she’s nearing her final years. Everything is dramatic beyond reason.”

“Maybe,” Sam shrugs. “She wants a child, it seems like a normal desire.”

“She wants someone else’s child, from an orphanage.” Dean shakes his head. “I’m not talking about this anymore. It’s part of the reason I’m here, I need a break from this constant pressure.”

“You’ll hear no more of it from me.” Sam smiles, taking their father’s journal from his bag.

“If you think he was a lunatic, why do you carry his journal with you?”

“There’s a lot to be learned.” Sam taps the cover. “He might have not realized what he saw, but from just the description I’m able to deduce what sort of natural phenomenon he was witnessing. Just last week I determined his obsession with the will-o'-the-wisp was likely nothing more than swamp gas. This is what gives us insight. When the villagers start talking of magical fairy lights in the forest, we’ll know where to start looking.”

“He’d hate it.” Dean chuckles, rolling up his jacket as a pillow, lying down on the bench.

“Yes, he would.”

He has few memories of his father. And what remains are faint recollections. What he can recall with a burning intensity are his father’s obsessions. His quest to find and kill monsters that never really existed. John Winchester saw demons lurking in every shadow. He found the devil in whispered secrets and meaningless symbols. And his father killed without discretion, he saw only black and white, good and evil.

John’s relentless belief in the spiritual world is what still fuels Sam’s desire to disprove anything otherworldly. He and Dean rely on facts and a sense of order and reason. Rarely do the creatures hiding in the night turn out to be anything other than flesh and blood men.

The sun quickly fades as the coach rocks along, tree branches scraping the side of the carriage. Somewhere in the distance a wolf howls and Sam looks out the small window into the black of night, before shutting the curtain and finding some sleep of his own.

The next morning, Sam wakes up before Dean, peeking out to reveal their journey has progressed through the sun-dappled forest. His brother is still in the depths of deep sleep, a hand resting limp in his lap. Across Dean’s open palm is a prominent scar, a long nasty cut he acquired in a scuffle many years ago.  Sam checks the contents of his leather satchel, pausing for a moment to study the palm of his own hand. There are strange scars on both palms, evenly dispersed tiny dots of white tissue. He’s had them his entire life, unsure of how they came to be.

Sleepy Hollow

Sam and Dean stand between two massive stone pillars, watching the coach as it leaves them behind.

“You’ll have to leave most of your luggage here. We can send for it later.” Dean grumbles, picking up his bags. “Tell me again why he couldn’t take us into town?”

“Superstition,” Sam confirms, glancing up at the tree limbs above them. “Dean, look.”

There are dead ravens hanging from the branches, strung up by twine.

“A few dead crows to keep the rest out of the fields.” Dean’s grimaces. “It’s a grisly sight. Welcome to Sleepy Hollow.”

They follow the winding road to town, passing a church and a graveyard. The road ahead is bordered by rows of businesses and two-story homes. As they enter the town square an elderly woman stands in her doorway, watching. Sam tips his hat and the woman scowls, looking away and shutting the door with a thud.

“I just love townspeople,” Dean chortles.

Looking up Sam spies another townie staring down from his window. The moment their eyes meet he closes the shutters.

“I’m seeing a pattern,” Sam comments, looking behind him. As they continue they see there are two or three riflemen placed at vantage points on the roofs of the town. Looking back Sam spies another in the church tower. The whole village is like the wild west, waiting for outlaws to attack.

Off in the distance, sitting in the middle of a field, there’s a strange wooden bunker, more like a small fortress with a huge bell mounted on the top. Several farmers are gathered around it all bearing rifles. The Winchesters pause, looking at each other and the sight before them. A young boy about ten, walks up to one of the rifleman, with food and drink tied up in a cloth. The older man looks down, offering the boy an affectionate pat on the head.

“Don’t worry, son.”

Another man leads the boy away as the father climbs back up onto the bunker, several rifles slung over his back. In front of the bunker, across the field, other farmers are lighting torches, enough to line the entirety of the forest's edge.

“What have we gotten ourselves into?” Sam murmurs, moving forward.

“I don’t think we should be outside during night hours, Sam.” Dean hikes his bag up on his shoulder. “This doesn’t feel right.”

“We’re headed there.” Sam points to a grand manor home sitting atop a hill, the windows are aglow, casting a warm picture against the gray backdrop of impending night.

Van Tassel House

Sam sets down his bags on the porch of the stately home. The length of the porch is lined with jack-o-lanterns, glowing orange.

Dean shoves an elbow into his brother’s ribs, drawing his attention to a couple, lustfully wrapped around each other in a dark corner of the porch. Sam clears his throat, mumbling an apology and opening the door. A shaft of light illuminates the kissing duo, both brothers memorizing their faces for future reference.

The front door opens to reveal the foyer and main hall. There’s a harvest party in progress, the town is gathered, music playing in the background. Men and women are enjoying food and drink, talking quietly in groups as Sam and Dean make their way through the celebration.

Dean stops a young woman, smiling with brazen charm. “Pardon our intrusion, we’re seeking Baltus Van Tassel.”

“In the parlor sir, farther on,” she nods, glancing back to him. Ahead they find a large group of men, women, and children in a circle, taunting a blindfolded woman, you, being spun around by a barrel-chested man.

-

You can feel your head roll as Brom spins you, again and again, his large hands lingering on your shoulders for longer than necessary. Suddenly he releases you, and everyone goes quiet, avoiding your searching outstretched hands.

You circle slowly, the blindfold tightly covering your eyes, chanting the refrain that makes the children and even some of the women shiver with pleasurable fright. They stifle their giggles as you reach out, grasping at the air. “The Pickety Witch, the Pickety Witch, who’s got a kiss for the Pickety Witch?”

Lunging forward, you grab empty air, narrowly missing Brom as the crowd snickers. Dean glances back, noting the couple from the porch making their way back into the party. Sam is leading the way, trying to pass through the crowd to reach the far door.

You reach out, only to meet the solid frame of a warm body beneath your hands as the room goes silent. You’ve no idea that the room is quiet because you’ve grabbed onto a stranger. After all, silence is the point of the game, to avoid your capture.

Your hand pats the chest in front of you, he’s a man and he’s large. Reaching up you touch Sam’s face.

Sam’s looks to Dean who just grins back. “A kiss, a kiss!” a child calls out.

“She has to guess first,” yells another woman. Dean watches the man who was just outside with another woman, slip his arm around the wifely matron standing beside him. He’s only been here ten minutes and he’s already confirmed an extramarital affair. Your fingers trail across the strong jaw of the unknown man before you. You’ve no idea who it is, so you take a guess. “Is it...Theodore?” The crowd laughs and Sam clears his throat. “Pardon ma’am. I am a stranger here.” A stranger? You smile, excited at the prospect. “Have a kiss on account then.”

Standing on the tips of your toes, you stretch up, placing a kiss at his jaw, then take off your blindfold to reveal a breathtakingly handsome man standing before you. There’s a gentle smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, his bright eyes shining. But his entire expression changes when he gets a clear look at your face.

For a fleeting moment, Sam flounders, stricken by the sight of you, his composure failing him as he stares at you, somewhat stunned.

You glance down at his hand, finding no ring on his finger.

“I...um, I am looking for Baltus Van Tassel,” he manages, never looking away.

“You’re in luck.” You smile, eyes locked on each other. “I am his daughter. Y/N Van Tassel.”   “And who are you, friend? We have not heard your name yet.” Brom steps forward.

Sam gives you one last look before turning his attention to the man, roughly matching his height and size, who’s clearly unhappy with his presence.

“I have not said it. Excuse me…” Sam tries to move forward.

Brom grabs at Sam’s collar as Sam stares at him, confused at this overreaction.

“Brom!” You shout, tugging on his arm. He’s always had a delusion that he has some claim to you, but in reality, there is no love connection between you, there never will be.

“You need some manners.” Brom hisses.

“You need to release my brother.” Dean steps forward and the crowd steps back, leaving the three men in the center of the room.

“Come, come.” There’s a chuckle from the back of the room. It’s your father, Baltus. “We want no raised voices on this happy occasion.”

“Father,” you gesture toward Brom.

“It is only to raise the spirits during this dark time that I and my good wife are giving this little party.” Your stepmother stands behind your father, looking on with silent judgment.  Brom releases Sam, stepping back and you relax.

Sam shakes off the confrontation, just happy to have a focal point, somewhere to concentrate other than your wonderful face and full bosom.

“Young sirs, you are welcome, even if you are selling something!” He chuckles, patting his belly.

“Thank you.” Sam smoothes a hand through his hair. “I am Constable Sam Winchester, this is my brother, Constable Dean Winchester. We are sent to you from New York with authority to investigate the murders in Sleepy Hollow.”

This news seems to have quite the effect as the entire room goes still. You give both men the appraisal they deserve, they are rather wonderful examples of the male gender. Smart and handsome is an elusive pairing in a village as small as this one.

“What good are Constables?” Reverend Steenwyck pipes up, unable to contain his outburst. “Reverend.” Lady Van Tassel, your stepmother, gives the Clergyman a reproachful look, moving forward towards the brothers. “Sleepy Hollow is grateful to you, Constables. I hope you will honor this house by remaining with us until-”

“Until you’ve made an arrest!” Brom snorts.

To both Sam and Dean’s surprise, this gets a nervous laugh. Your father frowns and Brom snorts but all you can do is look at Constable Sam Winchester with renewed interest. He’s to stay in your home, a fact that brings interesting possibility.

Sam can feel you watching him as if he has a sixth sense that’s activated only for you. His brother, Dean, is the one who catches you appraising Sam like a prize pig, trying to hide his amusement as you look away with a sly smile. Baltus turns to his wife, “Well spoken!” Then turns to Sam and Dean. “Come, gentlemen. We’ll get you settled. Play on! Let the party resume.” The fiddlers strike up the music as you watch the two men leave the room.

[loubabykitten]

BEST FICS OF 2018

first of all… happy new year guys!!!

as promised, here are the best fics i read in 2018 (some of them were published before but i discovered them in 2018), there're not in order:

Chasing empty spaces (79k, chaptered) - 1930s au

by @domestic-harry

The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

Don't want shelter (76k, chaptered) - teacher!louis, businessman!harry

by @fullonlarrie

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…

When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

Save myself (219k, chaptered) - rich!louis, student!harry

by @make-thisfeellikehome

Louis Tomlinson is a train wreck. That is a way of putting it lightly. His whole world is a vast blur of darkness and bad decisions and it doesn't matter how many times he decides he's done, he always falls back in, because darkness is tricky like that for him. Louis wants for nothing—has everything he could ever ask for really, but it's all nothing. Maybe he needs to be rescued—maybe he can't be rescued. No one knows.

Or the one where Louis is a spoiled rich kid who is ignored by his entire family, who's friends only use him as a means for drugs and no one believes he's worth any more than just that. Harry Styles is a first year university student who's just moved to Doncaster for their theatre program who just happens to get the short straw when he's partnered with Louis for Bio Lab. What could go wrong?

Lightning strikes twice (104k, chaptered) - groupie!louis, famous!harry

by @catfishau

Louis slipped his hand onto Harry’s thigh, snaking his fingers up and inwards. “I’m a big fan. You’re so talented, and I have to admit that I actually fancy you a bit.”

“Yeah?” Harry reached up to push Louis’ fringe out of his eyes. “Well, you know, I like to try and be accommodating to my fans.”

“You’re quite well known for that,” Louis whispered as he turned his head some more, their mouths an inch apart. “So I hear.”

---

Rock star Harry Styles was nineteen when he met Louis, a groupie with a huge heart that Harry couldn’t quite shake from his mind. Fate granted him a second chance at the age of sixty, his washed up and lonely existence being transformed by a widower with a bookshop.

Tell me how to feel about you (38k, chaptered) - college/university au

by @imlouisaf

Louis thought it would feel different once he got to LA. He knew it was best for him; a fresh start as far away as he could get. But when the plane touched down and he stepped out into the hot air around LAX, Louis felt exactly the same.

There's still a hole in his chest where his heart used to be; ripped away even after trying for so many years to keep it from happening. He knows it's not all his fault, not by a mile, but it doesn't stop him from blaming himself for it all going wrong.

If he'd just stayed strong, if he'd said no when he said yes, maybe everything would be different.

Or, Harry has been trying to convince Louis to date him for years, but Louis has always been wary of Harry’s fairly obvious commitment issues. Louis eventually gives him a chance, opening his heart up to the one thing he fears.

Have faith in me (183k, chaptered) - rich!harry, assistant!louis

As the son of Anne Styles, millionaire owner of one of the world's most luxurious fashion labels, Harry has spent his last seventeen years living in carefree extravagance. And now he's grown tired of it, along with the pressure from his mum to follow in her footsteps and the constant care given to him by her past assistants.

When his mum's newest assistant, Louis, moves into the guesthouse, Harry determines to be treated differently. To be treated like an adult. Except Louis is not at all what Harry was expecting...

This is a story about growing up, growing in love and having the faith to make it last.

Shake me down (208k chaptered) - college/university au, insecure!harry, protective!louis

by @agreatperhaps12

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Red hands (132k, chaptered)

by @harrytum

“I’ve never told anyone,” Harry murmurs, voice so soft no one else would be able to hear, if it wasn’t just the two of them.  

“But you’ve told someone,” Louis says firmly. “And that’s not gonna fucking happen around here. You don’t speak a word of it, or someone’s going to kill you, and we can’t let that happen.”

a dystopian au in which harry, an ex-soldier who’s escaped from his government run camp, accidentally stumbles across the biggest rebel movement in the country, and louis, one of the rebellion’s mysterious leaders who appears to hate him, seems to simultaneously have an obsession with keeping him alive. or: harry is wanted for treason, niall hasn’t changed in four years, liam is always smiling, and louis is angry. like, really angry.

There are no atheists in foxholes (64k, one shot)

by @suspendrs

“Do you think we’ll ever see it again?” Harry asks after a minute. “London?”

Louis blinks, looking down. They very well could spend the rest of their lives on this island, and they’re both very aware of that. Everyone probably already thinks they’re dead, anyway. Their flats are going to be sold, and their families are going to have funerals, and life is going to go on without them. Even if they do get rescued, it’s already been days. The news of the shipwreck has definitely reached London by now. They don’t know if there’s been any effort to look for survivors, but they also don’t know how far away from the wreck they are, or how far people are going to go to look for them, or if anyone even knows that this island is here and, like, it’s very possible that they’ve already looked and stopped looking for survivors, and no one knows they’re out here-

“I don’t know,” Louis says, before he can start spiraling. “I hope so, but I don’t know.”

Or, the sea takes everything from Louis, but it gives him back more than he ever could’ve asked for.

Dance to the distortion (96k, chaptered)

by @domestic-harry

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

Lonely king (40k, chaptered) - broken!louis, indie!harry

When Louis' parents pass away in a car accident, he inherits a cottage in the woods of Scotland. He ends up spending the summer there; unraveling secrets, mending bonds and creating memories with his best friends.

For as long as i can remember (it's been december) (128k, chaptered) - lawyer!louis, chef!harry

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

The road less travelled by (98k, chaptered) - Lumberjack!louis, high school principal!harry

by @freetheankles

Louis was a lumberjack happy to be living his life alone in what could qualify as Middle Of Nowhere, Canada.

Every morning, he went out into the woods, cut his logs, then came home at dusk to a scalding hot shower and a good book by the fireplace. Rinse and Repeat. He had a good life, quiet and peaceful; simple. Not a secluded one as Niall annoyingly claimed.

Louis certainly didn't need some chatty trespasser dropping into his life, his forest, his home. Invading his space, his circle of friends, touching his stuff, asking questions about his husband. His late husband.

A trespasser who wasn’t supposed to crawl under his skin, occupy his thoughts, and steal his heart from where Louis had locked it safely away, only to put it right back on Louis’ sleeve — where it once laid.

No, Louis definitely didn’t need Harry.

Saving symphony hall (124k, chaptered) - symphony hall au, omega!louis, alpha!harry

by @helloamhere

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Shelter as we go (75k, one shot)

by @fondleeds

Louis looks at him like his words might break him, glass about to splinter, one wrong footfall away from shattering into a million tiny pieces.

“Hey,” Harry breathes, and he knows, meeting Louis’ eyes, that his words could break him easy as anything. He almost wants Louis to bring his boot down.

-

AU. Nova Scotia, 1968.

Walk that mile (149k, chaptered) - road trip au

Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes. - A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

MY TOP 5:

5. I believe him when he tells of loving me (28k, chaptered)

louis doesn't remember harry. harry takes him home.

4. Wild love (130k, chaptered)

by @daisyharry

“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”

“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.

“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”

Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

3. In sickness and in health (83k, chaptered) - american!harry, british!louis

by @rainbowsandlovehl

“Just make sure that you head down to the immigration office as soon as you can, alright?” James reminded them, making them look towards the man and nod in unison. “Remember Louis, you have only two weeks. So make it legal quickly so you don’t get deported.”   “I’ll be sure to remind my assistant to schedule our appointment,” Louis joked and laughed.

A loosely based The Proposal Au where Louis is to be deported in two weeks. Since he doesn't want to lose his job, he asks his assistant, Harry to marry him for a green card. If it makes them realise they're in love, oh well. There's also the fact that no one doubts their credibility.

2. Hush (41k, one shot) - high school au, quarterback!louis, feminine!harry

by @wankerville

“I don't like you like that, Harry.”

“See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.”

or an au where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

1. Light my morning sky (54k, one shot) - college/university au

The relatively cliché College AU in which Louis happens to be proficient in Philosophy, Ethics and keeping his distance, while Harry is in need of a tutor to salvage his grade, and never passes up on a challenge; Zayn and Liam like to gaze wantonly across at each other whilst pretending to read Austen; and Niall is the precarious bond that holds them all together.

(Expect some sappy self-indulgent scenes consisting of bed-sharing, 4 am almost-love declarations, drunk texting, and far too much time spent at the student bar for it to be an accurate depiction of uni life.)

[bi-bi-want-dragon]

Hello my beautiful followers!

I am so incredibly excited and blessed to say that you lovely people have gotten me to 500 followers!  I made this blog in October 2018 not long after I rediscovered HTTYD and found this wonderful fandom.  I posted my first one shot in March 2019, just over one year ago; it was an Astrid POV prompt that I doubt a lot of people saw, but it got me interested in writing more.  So I wrote another oneshot in my own world with my own headcannons just to see what would happen.  That one shot was Nesting, and it now has 158 notes (from last time I checked).  Only one other one shot of mine has passed that, and it was Brothers with 190 notes.  I started writing fanfiction just to get back into my love of writing, as a way to relieve some stress and find myself again, and instead I found this amazing fandom and the incredible people in it.  I stayed and continued writing because of the support I got from all of you, and I could never thank you all enough for that.  Your comments and support, here and on FF.net and AO3 as well, have meant more to me than words could say.  

And now, over 40k words, 19 chapters, 187 kudos/favorites, 99 bookmarks/follows, and 96 comments/reviews later between Life After They Left and Meet the Ingermans on FF.net/AO3, I’ve found an incredible community that has helped me through some rough times over the last three years.  I never expected to meet all the amazing people and mutuals and even friends that I have made along the way.  So thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

And to celebrate 500 followers, I have decided to move up an announcement for a project that I have been sitting on for probably 3 months now.  So...

I am officially announcing my first true regularly updated multi-chapter fic! (No, not just a bunch of semi related one-shots like I have now. An actual connected running story line and everything!) It’ll be a bit of a long post with the fic announcement, so I’ll put the details below the break.  I have mentioned this title before in tags for a few posts I wanted to be connected to this work, and I’ve mentioned that I’ve been working on something in author’s notes for LATL and MTI. Not necessarily something I expected anyone to pick up on, but this is that piece I was referring to for anyone that had.  Though it has been a WIP for a few months now, and it is not finished, I have enough outlined and drafted that I’m (just about) ready to start sharing it with you all!

Wingless and Warbound

Zephyr knew from her earliest years that she would be the one to take her father’s place as Chief.  Well, Chieftess.  Whether the people of New Berk were ready for a change like that or not.  Unfortunately, it seems that more people were not ready for that change than she had hoped.  But with a new threat slashing its way through the Archipelago, eyes set on New Berk and the secrets that flew away 2 years before Zephyr was born, she would have the chance to prove herself to her people soon enough.  Whether she was ready for a change like that or not.

This fic will be set in the same timeline as Meet the Ingermans and Life After They Left; though it wasn’t the plan initially, I have basically been using those oneshots to set the stage for this fic.  However, Wingless and Warbound will be set later in the timeline than the current oneshots; for reference, when the Haddock family first makes their appearance, Hiccup and Astrid are 37 years old, Zephyr is 13 (2 months before her 14th birthday), and Nuffink is 10.  Ruffnut and Fishlegs are also 37, and the second chapter takes place 2 weeks before Nutmeg’s 9th birthday (for my MTI readers).  It absolutely won’t be necessary to read the oneshots that make up Meet the Ingermans and Life After They Left for any kind of reference or background, but it will provide history and a bigger picture of the family dynamics and such if that is something of interest.  But if anything comes up that I want you guys to know about, it will be explained within the chapter, and I will more than likely let you know which oneshot the reference came from in author’s notes in case anyone wants more background.

Of course, Snotlout, Tuffnut, Eret, Valka, Gobber, and all of the Berkians we love will be included fairly regularly in Wingless and Warbound, which is something I am very excited about because I haven’t really played with their characterizations much in LATL and MTI.  In addition, there are original characters of mine that I have created for this fic (such as Nutmeg Ingerman), as well as appearances of many characters from Race to the Edge.  We’ll see Dagur the Deranged, Mala from the Defenders of the Wing, the Wingmaidens, and Alvin and the Outcasts.  I’m not sure how long this fic is going to be yet, but I can definitely guarantee 20 chapters.  Past that, I will absolutely continuing writing as long as there is a story to tell; it all depends on how the storyline expands as I write it and if any inspiration hits past the plot I have outlined currently.

The first chapter will be posted Friday, June 5th, at 12:00 noon EST.  From there I will plan to post every other Friday at the same time; I may adjust that to every week depending on what kind of buffer I can build up between now and then, but I will do my best to keep it at every 2 weeks max.

Now I know that’s a little ways away...  And the biggest reason for that is because it gives me a chance to finish out with my college classes before summer break, write and outline as much as possible, and come back from modified-vacation (dang this quarantine).  That will let me stay focused on this fic once I start posting so I can keep on the schedule I’ve made for myself.

So until then I will post a teaser every week on Friday around noon EST (just like the chapter posting schedule, but this will be every week instead of every other!).  The teasers may be anything from a short excerpt to a character description to a piece that I’ve written for the story but decided not to use or to only use chunks of.  On top of that, I will answer any asks/comments/tags/whatever else you think of that you guys send/post about Wingless and Warbound to the best of my ability without spoiling any big plot points.  Depending on what the ask is, I will include it in the weekly teaser, or I’ll just answer it when I get it.  Everything will be tagged with “#wingless and warbound” so you can find it easily on my blog!

Thank you all again for your amazing support!  I’d love to hear anything and everything you guys think/want to know related to this fic, especially if any of you are as excited as I am!

Keep being amazing, and I’ll see you soon :)

[acequisitor]

Obey Me! Review

Gonna get more detailed since it’s not just an app review. If you ever do want to review the game on the App Store: NTT replies in as a character in the game unless it’s a serious issue so keep that in mind. Otherwise, enjoy!

Imma start this off by saying it’s a great game. I personally couldn’t play it when it first released bc I had storage issues but if you have the time and phone storage it’s worth it. I’ll also say if you’re a player who’s looking for only one person’s ‘route’ it’s not for you because it’s a general story, but if you don’t mind that, it’s great to follow along with and just enjoy the moments you get with your fav that they give you.

Characters: Characterisation of these characters are great but at times lackluster. Although every character starts off as one demintional (ie: demon of x) they all get some nice info tagged in by the latest update. There’s literally a character for almost all of your niche needs, wants or desires to just immediately fall for. Trust me. My only qualm of this being with Belphie seeming to get the short end of the stick, especially with his redemption arc kind of being blown over (although he does something VERY questionable, you and him seem buddy buddy the next chapter without it saying how you got there) and practically a bad timeline being forced as your main one? Otherwise, it was nice to get to know them through gameplay and the characters are what drove me to kinda speed run my playthrough to its latest posted stories into the game!

Relationships: On the matter of players who would only want one person’s route, every character kinda gets a chapter devoted to the MCs relationship with them which is nice. Kinda like equal time given to each character, even. My only issue on the relationship issue is if you wanted a nice/fitting ‘ending’ or season ending by the time your character ‘leaves the school’, or you wanted something endgame-ish, you’re gonna feel as fucked as the MC by Lucifer because he’s the only person who’s romance actually escalates in character past a kiss. IMO at least Beel, Asmos (being a legit paragon of lust), or Satan (who specifically says he wants more) could’ve easily been given the same treatment. If you turn Lucifer down and leave it cuts straight to black which is fine but if you choose to kiss him it escalates despite every other sibling having been cockblocked in their attempt to spend more time with the MC after their kiss with her; so, I felt his romance got special treatment in that accord because Lucifer is like ‘the main guy’ or like the guy in a reverse-harem the show is definitely shooting for endgame (he’s like Tamaki) but for an otome game and someone who has Lucifer as last on their sibling tier list it was a slap in the face. There’s confirmed more story coming to the game which is nice, but the way it was left off kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. I’m still 100% into the story, though.

Relationships (mechanic): Each player has an affection level with you. As you choose them to be on your main screen, say something they like in the main story, use the player in battle, or send them to work for your money, you’ll build up a relationship with them. This can unlock phone calls from them or special DM/texts/group texts from them, and honestly that’s about it. It can also help unlock special side stories you get from cards... So yeah. They’re not all too important, but it’s a nice touch. Kinda MM vibes but not quite, you feel me?

My Gameplay Experience: So mechanic wise I grinded 4 1/2 days with the free VIP pass the last 2 and easily got to the end/latest chapters no problem without any purchases - which I note solely for those who feel they don’t want to play bc you can’t experience the main story to the fullest without paying money. If you’re scared you might miss an event, I’ve played almost every free NTT Solmare game to know they always have ‘retuning’ events if they’re focused on another game or have nothing on their schedule. It’s like new events except you start where you left off and can continue to get the other prizes you might’ve missed (besides rank prizes).

Actual Gameplay: Between each episode/book there’s this cute mini game you have to play and win to go onto either the next mini game or story. You get ranked 1-3 and your power in each mini game depends on the cards you put into the battle. A battle which mind you is a dance off! The higher you rank the more points you’ll get to unlock “A, B, C” side stories but they don’t really matter unless you’re a completionist. If you aren’t gonna like the story anywhere, it’ll be with this game and the feeling of needing to grind to rank your cards up. If it’s to any help, I’ve beaten a round with a 10,000 point difference with me at disadvantage but I still won so don’t feel you always need to be at par with the enemy to win. Also glow sticks are your friends. Remember that.

Story progression: Between each lesson or ch (so like a whole ass story line) you need to be a certain level. This either leaves you in a well I’m already at that level nbd or you have to break off and kinda grind for the next level. The break you use to grind to said lv (usually just one level up each time) gave me time to level up my cards so I had no real issue with it. Also gave me time to go do Hard Mode, so no biggie for me personally.

Hard mode: it isn’t something required of you to do, to progress in the story, but it does add side stories to the situation your character is in at that time in the plot that you don’t see otherwise in the main story. For example, there’s a whole side episode where it’s explained Mammon has pacts with these three witches who boss him around while he pampers his credit card. Not plot important, but it’s cute and they can round out a character if you feel the main story lacks it. It also adds a challenge for players who think normal mode was too easy. It can also be hella easy for a Hard Mode for players who do the main plot first and then decide to do Hard Mode. You can easily whip by when you’re 70k+ power level and ch 3 hard mode is like 40k. So if you’re not doing it along with the main story it’s hella easy to just bypass to get to the stories given you got enough stamina.

VIP pass: There’s a free trial of this that’s available that lasts for 7 days and it doubles your experience points (and other bonuses) which makes getting to new chapters easier. Not neccissary, just helpful if you wanted to speedrun the story like I did. If you plan to stick around and pay for it, no judgement but there is a free chance for those who need/want it. It’s also easy to ‘cancel’ the pass immediately after you purchase it in the App Store if you don’t wanna do it bc you’ll forget to unsubscribe and get charged for it.

Overall experience: I’d honestly give it a solid 4.5/5. Out of all the NTT Solmare games I didn’t have to wait for tickets to progress and it was at my own pace. I didn’t need to grind for a ‘fashion level’ or whatever and some cards I got to progress in the story have actual story tied to it which was great (especially considering I got them for free). There’s no ‘pay-for’ currency you need to experience an extra romantic moment and it really let me feel for once in an NTT Solmare game the playing feild in experience a story was fair/even. For an otome game this is a nice balance of gameplay and good story (not necessarily well written but still nice) with a good amount of comedy for me to enjoy. If y’all got any other questions on the game feel free to ask me.

Those who might be sensitive to it or just not enjoy ‘incest’ in this game bc I saw a review very harmed by just the implication of it: My sense of humour being “Step-bro! What are you doing?!” the subtle incest jokes I found hilarious between a bunch of horny demons who’s job it is to be kings of sinning, and your character isn’t actually their sister at all so don’t worry. There’s a chance the MC is a descendant of the brother’s siblings but to every complaint I’ve seen on that on the App Store or Twitter, NTT always notes and comments the story isn’t complete and there’s more to come so I assume it’s not as it seems for those who are like “??? Is this legal???”

[glimmerglanger]

bthb: tortured for information

I almost forgot, one segment of ‘in the lands of gods and monsters’ (sequel to ‘as if death itself was undone,’ post-infinity war thorki fixit) was written for @badthingshappenbingo, to fill in my spot for ‘Tortured for Information:’

(I’m not doing a great job filling in five spaces in a row.)

Since the entire fic is almost 40k, and the applicable segment only close to 3k, I’m posting it separately. It pretty much stands alone as the after effects of a capture by the enemy gone very, very wrong, anyway, but further context is available on ao3! Anyway. Without further explanation:

And Monsters

Thor should have known not to trust to happiness, not even for a second.

Life had been nothing but one nightmare after another for so long. But he had thought it was past, that with his work and Loki’s they had moved beyond the tribulations of their tormented history, into a new world with their renewed people.

But everything had gone wrong once more, starting with dark whispers of warning delivered by Agent Romanoff regarding developments on Earth, so many days ago. He should have listened to her more carefully. He wished he had.

It was too late to go back and change things, to take seriously the threat the folk of Midgard might be. They had not dared attack New Asgard - not yet, Thor thought, in a wash of sick clarity, but now that he was gone they might do anything - instead luring them away, to a place where they were unprepared to defend themselves.

He did not recall all that had happened. He remembered pain, a sick, overwhelming sense of it, and crushing weight forcing him to the ground as his thoughts turned to Loki and Frigga.

He had not been able to reach them. The thought dragged a strangled cry from his throat. He could only imagine what was being done to them, what had already been done to them. Had he not sworn on his very life he would allow no more harm to come to his family? The words tasted of ash in his mouth, echoing in his head to remind him of his failure.

He had not been able to reach his child. He had left Loki to face whatever horrors awaited alone, and now they left him in the dark, chained at his neck and wrists with some strange, burning metal that he could not break, no matter how he strained against it.

His eyes had long grown used to the dark, but there was nothing to see but more dark. He could not turn his head to either side. The thick collar around his neck prevented it and bit into his jaw and shoulders. The muscles in his chest and back, all down his arms, burned with the strain of pulling against the shackles that kept his arms cruelly extended.

His knees ached, resting against the floor. They wouldn’t even allow him the pride of standing to await whatever foul fate they’d planned for him. He knew he deserved whatever they did. His failures had to be answered. But he hoped he would be able to kill some of them first.

He hoped they would not merely leave him to rot here, starving in his own filth.

He hoped--

Light flooded shocking into the room, derailing his thoughts and burning his eyes. He squinted against it, hissing, refusing to close his eyes all the way. The white brightness of it stung like fire; he snarled into it, “I’m going to--”

“There’s something we wanted to show you,” the voice came from behind him. Thor tried to twist automatically, unsure how anyone had gotten there, and caught on the chains. He could not identify the speaker. Their voice was strange and rasping, unpleasant to listen to. Nothing here was pleasant.

“The only thing I want to see is your broken body at my feet,” he snapped, holding onto the anger in his chest for all it was worth.

The unseen man chuckled, an almost clucking sound. “Then this will be a disappointing day for you,” he said. Thor could feel the stranger, standing directly behind his shoulder. They’d stripped Thor’s armor away, left him with nothing but his skin and sweat. “Before we begin,” he said, “there are a few things you should know. First of all, you can call me… Agent White”

“Where is Loki?” Thor asked, misliking intensely the direction this conversation seemed determined to head. “Where is my daughter?”

White tsked at him, as though he were a wayward pupil. “In due time,” he said. “We have questions for you.”

“If you’ve hurt them--”

White hurt him, then. He did not know how. The pain came from everywhere, from the air around him and the air in his lungs. When it passed, he hung limp for a moment, panting for breath and resisting the urge to scream.

“Listen,” White said, patient. “We have questions for you. You can answer us and make this easy.”

Thor spat on the ground. “I won’t tell you anything,” he said, and laughed, the sound breaking to pieces inside his chest.

He felt White move and strove ever harder to catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of his eyes. White stayed just beyond his vision. “We thought you might say that,” White said. “So we set up an alternative approach, just to see if anyone else might be more interested in sharing.”

Thor’s breath caught at the words. “Loki,” he said, panting it. “He lives? You will--”

“For now,” White said. “But he’s not answering us, either.”

Thor reached for the force of the storm with all of his might and got nothing in return. It was like beating upon a closed door. He growled, “If you’ve hurt--”

There was pain, again. Eventually it stopped, leaving his head ringing and the taste of blood in his mouth. “I think,” White said, “that you are suffering under some misapprehensions. You’re in no position to threaten or issue orders. You will answer our questions, or we will hurt you until you do.”

“You will all die,” Thor told White, blinking sweat out of his eyes, barely feeling the sting of it.

White sighed. “Perhaps,” he said, “what you need is a demonstration.” Thor opened his mouth again and felt the words die on his tongue. The blinding white light in front of him changed, shifting to something that allowed him to see what was going on in the space before him.

He cried out as realization grounded itself down through his bones. Loki waited before him in a room, dark and organic. All of his armor had been stripped away, his scars dark in the greenish light. He lay on a curved table that bent him backwards, exposing his stomach and chest, the lone lines of his thighs. There were marks across his skin, purple, black, and angry red. Smears of blood spread like ugly shadows over his body. His hands were bound above his head, his hair in disorder, and his expression was terrible and distant. And he was not alone. There were two other figures in the room.

One figure circled him, impossible and terrible and familiar. Thor knew the face as well as his own, the fall of dark hair, the sharp smile, the flashing eyes. The creature looked as Loki had, once, years ago, in his mad service to the Titan Thanos. He looked corpse pale, with reddened skin around his blue eyes, his mouth pulled constantly into a snarling smile.

The second figure Thor recognized even better. He saw the features each time he looked into a mirror. But there was something wrong with his double, beyond the fact that he wore full armor and moved like a predator. It’s hands, he realized after a moment, were bloody red.

Thor yelled, crying out, and was ignored. “They can’t hear you,” White said, sounding pleased. “You may only listen, and watch. And when you are ready to stop it, you can answer my questions.”

Thor could find no reply to that, no reply as his double drew to a stop, close to Loki’s side. Loki flinched, noticeable in the tightening of the skin around his eyes and the shift in his hair. The thing wearing Loki’s face bent closer, its mouth pulled into a sharp, cruel smile as it said, “I can see that you need a break. Why don’t we just return to our previous topic of discussion for a while? Let the questions rest?”

Loki said nothing. His gaze did not shift from the middle-distance. He looked… terribly used to what was happening to him. The thought soured Thor’s gut yet further, adding to the horror of the fact that he could not see Frigga.

He startled when the doppelganger began to speak once more. “He’s just using you, as the Asgardians have always wished to use you. You know that. You’re useful now. You brought back the dead for him. You gave him an heir. He doesn’t love you.”

It was not the tact Thor would have imagined that these creatures take. They had only inflicted pain on him, after all, and surely they had to know that Loki would not---

Loki, the true Loki, jerked once, violently. He looked stricken, as though someone had reached into his chest and sunk fingers into his heart. He kept his lips pressed into a thin line, but he curled his fingers - stretched so far above his head - into claws.

“How could he?” The doppelganger continued in a slow, even voice. “Don’t you remember everything you’ve done? Everything you are? He’s a king and you’re an unwanted bastard child, left for the cold, for your enemies to do with what they wanted. You betrayed him. So many times. You know you’re nothing but a useful beast. A pliant body. How could you ever be anything more than that?”

Thor struggled against the bonds holding him, roaring in a fury that did not seem to reach Loki, where he stared at nothing, his eyes grown terribly bright, wet, as the thing with his face leaned close to his ear.

“The Aesir only tolerate you because you brought them back. And they’ll forget that soon enough. You’ll only remain useful while you keep the Jotun placated. And they don’t need you for that, really. Not with Frigga.”

Loki’s eyes widened. He seemed not to be breathing. “They’ll take her away from you,” the thing said, sounding almost apologetic. “Or he’ll get another on you and take that one. Give her to me, instead. Give her to me, before he can take her. I will make sure she never experiences pain. Or loss.”

The thing that looked like Loki reached out, brushing Loki’s face, and Thor bellowed, the sound torn directly out of his gut at the sight of that cold, vicious smile.

Loki twisted his face away and panted, “No.” His voice sounded strange and shredded. Broken. The thing with his face recoiled at the sound of it, a flash of confusion crossing its stolen features.

“What?”

“No,” Loki panted again. “You… lie. He loves me.”

The thing threw its head back and laughed, mockery in each echo of sound. Thor’s double joined it a moment later, and Loki jerked bodily against the bonds holding him down. “No one loves you,” it said. “You know that. You are forever unwanted, unloved, un—”

“He does,” Loki insisted, shaking his head, blinking his eyes for the first time in an age. “I gave him an heir. Brought back his people.” Something in Thor’s chest ached, even then, in the middle of this mad nightmare, to hear such reasons given for his affections, as though they would not have been there anyway, as though they had not endured through so many ages of their lives, as though he had not loved Loki even standing on Stark’s hideous tower, feeling the blade of a knife slide between his ribs.

“And you think that’s enough?” the thing with Thor’s face sneered. “Such a paltry offering—” Thor yelled once more, the agony of being unable to do anything to stop these lies, these lies delivered with his own mouth, too much to bear. He surged and struggled against the bonds holding him back, and got nowhere and nothing.

“It is for him,” Loki said, his quiet voice cutting across Thor’s ragged cries. He blinked rapidly, as though trying to clear something from his eyes. The skin around his eyes began to stain blue.

“You are lying to yourself,” the thing with Loki’s face hissed, grabbing his hair and wrenching his head to the side, the first time it had demonstrated violence. “Like the foolish child you are. You are only loved as long as you are useful. When your use wears out he will set you aside. You will be left alone again in the cold, while he picks some small, soft woman to warm his bed. Do not be a fool. Act now. Hurt him before he hurts you.”

Loki’s fingers shook, for a moment the blue faded, and then he took a wet, hitching breath and steadied. “No,” he said, his voice wrecked and broken. The blue spread, back towards his temples and something rose from his skin, something dark and shimmering, a fog bleeding out of his eyes.

“Stop!” the creature snarled, twisting its fingers tighter into Loki’s hair, shaking him viciously. It gestured at the thing with Thor’s face, and Thor had the fresh horror of watching himself fit his fingers around Loki’s neck. He ignored the pain, the agony he bought by struggling against the bonds unto the point that he thought he might break his own bones, tear muscle from tendon. And it was not enough. “You know I am right. You are a broken thing. Ruined. He will turn against you, you—”

“Doesn’t matter,” Loki gasped. The darkness hovered around his face, tendrils creeping down, moving towards his ears, his nose, his mouth. And Loki moved one of his arms, right through the bonds that held it, jerking lighting fast to close his fingers around the dark, shimmering thing, closing it into a cage, where it writhed, caught in a jail of skin and bone. “I love him.” He wept, still, but the anguish had left his face as he rolled his eyes up towards his double, and said, cold and sharp, “And now you will leave me go.”

The thing stumbled a step back, it’s form wavering, wearing a terror on its face that it hurt Thor to gaze upon, even knowing it was not really Loki. “Stop that,” it said, it’s voice changing in pitch, “Make him stop that. You don’t--”

“Did you think those words would stop me?” Loki asked, tilting his head to the side, ignoring the hand around his throat, almost curious as he watched the thing in his hand struggle desperately.

“They hurt you!” the doppelganger cried out. “We saw it, you believe them.”

Loki shrugged, something terrible in his easy acceptable. He pulled his legs up and reached out with his other hand, gripping the arm of Thor’s double and squeezing. “Hurt has never stopped me. And I know what you are, now,” Loki said, and his smile cut across his face like a knife. The Thor he held struggled. Some blackness spread up his arm, beneath the skin. Thor yelled himself hoarse, mad with relief and the fresh fear of not knowing for certain that whatever was going on would work.

“You should have never dared enter my head,” Loki said, and closed his hand, then, crushing the shadows in his fingers, and the creature with his face screamed, terribly and brutally, and--

And Thor’s cell went blinding white once more. “No!” he cried out. “Show me him once more, I--”

Pain flooded back, brutal and overwhelming, but Thor set his teeth against it. They had been in Loki’s head, doing something to him. He wondered if he did not have unwelcome visitors in his own mind. He tried to turn his thoughts inward, but the pain edged out all reason and he did not know what to look for, what to fight against.

He could hear things, in the bright light. The sounds of a battle. Loki crying out, screaming. Laughter. He tried to tell himself it could not be real. They were in Loki’s mind. In his mind, probably, but--

He cried out, the sound ragged in his throat, and then the world shifted, turning abruptly on its axis, the bright light fading, replaced by a shadow leaning over him. Hands pressed to either side of his head, cool and familiar.

He blinked upward, gazed into Loki’s face, pale and drawn but not wracked with agony. Loki said, “It’s not real. Whatever they’re making you see, it isn’t real, Thor, can you hear me?”

Behind him - through him - Thor heard terrible, wet sounds. But they were fading away, more and more as he searched Loki’s expression. “Yes,” he rasped, “what--”

And then Loki grunted, his fingertips pressing in tight to Thor’s head, and Thor sagged, the bonds around his arms just gone, leaving him to drop. Loki caught at him on the way down, holding him upright as Thor panted against his shoulder, rasping, “I saw--”

“Lies,” Loki said, “everything you saw was a lie.”

[huntertarot]

Day of Rain - An Apocalyptic Tabletop Adventure - Log 1

 (Warning! It’s a bit of a long read! I apologize!)

For a little background information, Day of Rain is an original tabletop system and lore that a friend of mine came up with for a campaign revolving around a Zombie infestation and testing how long we can survive for in a ball-busting, hardcore style of difficulty. The DM wanted us to create characters that were meant to be fitting representations of us, and he checked each to make sure they were fitting to each of our actual strengths and weaknesses. The party consisted of me (Hunter), Harley, and Trenton. Our rolling was based on d100 rolls, where we had to either roll lower or exactly the same as our stat or skill in something, sort of like Warhammer 40k.

The story began in our little town in Tennessee. We were all sitting around, enjoying a fine, Saturday evening when the TV changed over to an emergency broadcast. The infestation of an unusual virus had recently been found in several animal species, namely deer, but had been covered up till the announcement to prevent mass panic. The government had tried hunting down all the infected animals to the point of complete extermination and burning the corpses, but the plan seemed to backfire. What would later strike us as odd is the fact the newscaster would claim that the hunters burning the animal carcasses and a cult were the causes of what would come next. Apparently, whether due to said burnings or cult, the virus had somehow mixed with nearby water sources and, most importantly, made its way into the clouds around the same time as a large storm system was making its way across the nation. We began to question how exactly either of those explanations made sense, questioning if their information was wrong, if another cover-up was happening, or this was some kind of gigantic prank. The emergency broadcast was interrupted by an announcement by the US military, stating that any infected, no matter how far gone from the virus they were, were going to be eradicated with deadly force. Anyone so much as wandering around in the rain, whether covered or not, was going to be shot on sight. At that point, the storm system was passing over us, and we could actually hear a commotion coming from outside. Guessing this must have actually been for real, we each began to move around, trying to grab as much stuff as we could before the shit hit the fan. Harley managed to come across backpacks for him and Trenton, and I managed to dig up an old duffel bag of mine, with each of us tossing some spare clothes, food, and water inside. Mr. Jesse, the father of a friend of ours who owned the house we were in, contained a number of goodies for us, including a pistol for each of us, ammo, a police flashlight, and a large medical kit. Before we could try to find anything more, Harley remembered that we needed to lock and barricade the doors so no one could get in. He ran to the front door and locked it, and I ran to the back door. Unfortunately for me, the back door was in a laundry room that had a small step down, so I tripped and clocked my head on the washer. Harley came to check on me after he heard me yell, and also tripped and landed on me. Trenton, who had been trying to stack stuff in front of the windows, came to figure out was going on and also tripped and fell on top of us. For the record, I’m 5′8″ and about 160 lbs, while Harley is 6′3″ and about 280, and Trenton is 6′4″ and 400 lbs. I took about half of my health from hitting my head and getting squashed by those two, while they only took a small amount.

Harley managed to untangle himself from the pile and locked the door, but not before we all heard some screaming and followed by the sound of something smashing against the backyard fence. Just as Trenton and I were standing up, someone began pounding on the back door and begging for us to ‘save me and my daughter’. It was then that the DM introduced a ‘quick time’ system to the campaign, by giving us about 30 seconds on a stopwatch to discuss and figure out what we were going to do. I mentioned that saving them wasn’t exactly our problem, but that I was all for letting them in if the other two wanted to, which they did. Harley, as he has children, is a bit more of a sentimental person when it comes to kids, so he pretty much had the door flung open before we could discuss much more. Once the woman and her kid were in, he slammed the door shut and locked it back, followed shortly by the sound of something slamming into the door. In a state of panic and adrenaline, Trenton and I wheeled a large, chest-height toolbox/cabinet in front of the door.

At that point, we could hear something similar happening at the front door, with loud pounding sounds coming from that direction. Since our options were pretty limited, while the other two were arguing how to get to one of our cars, I suggested hiding in the attic. The only entrance to the attic was in my room, which was essentially a refurbished garage that was attached to the living room. They came around to my way of thinking, and I helped the woman and her daughter (which we would later find out were called Allison and Emma) get up into the attic while the other two threw some last minute things in front of the doors and windows. Once we were all up in the attic, we tossed an old, cobweb-covered couch over the door and moved stuff around in a quick attempt to make space for ourselves. After we cleared out a corner for ourselves to huddle up in, we all sat in silence and waited for the inevitable. Each of us were aiming at the door to the attic, ready to blow away anything that potentially figured out we were here. We had no idea how these zombies worked, and we were all hoping they were slow and dumb or something along those lines.

Eventually, both the doors collapsed at about the same time, and we could hear the sounds of a small horde moving around below us. It didn’t sound exactly like they were running around, more so like they were moving at the pace of a tired jog, but it was hard to guesstimate their individual speeds with how many there were moving around at once. After a while, we heard a raspy voice say, “Here!” somewhere underneath us. Out of character and in character we are all freaking out because it seemed that the zombies could speak somehow. Despite the shout from the zombie, it seemed like the undead couldn’t actually figure out where we were. Like they could smell we were near, but they couldn’t find us no matter how close they actually got to the smell.

By the time that night came around, most of the zombies had seemingly wandered off, probably more than a little annoyed that they couldn’t find us. The only reason we got that impression was that the zombie who had spoken before, shouted, “We’ll be back!” before seemingly shambling off elsewhere. At that point, the population downstairs had seemingly become only one or two moving around in other parts of the house. Trenton, being the bravest son of a bitch I’ve ever known, decided to go on a scouting mission. We thought he was just going to see what was going on in the house, but he actually was headed towards his car. He managed to get out of the attic and out of the house without making any noise and avoiding any zombies, but his luck sorta ended when he got outside and there was a zombie just staring at the house that suddenly jerked its head in his direction. Moving at a speed we normally didn’t expect out of him, Trenton made it into his car and managed to back out of the driveway at terribly illegal speeds. He cruised around most of the town, looking for a gas station that wasn’t filled to the brim with infected, nearly walking into a Speedway that he couldn’t see immediately into that had about 40 zombies in it. He managed to come across one that was across the street from the police station, filling up his backpack with random bits of food, water, and tobacco that he came across, and turning on the pump for the gas. He accidentally set off the alarm when he pried open the cash register, so he ran out and filled his tank up as quick as he could before driving off. At this point, he receives a text from Harley asking him where he went. We were all still able to get cell service (granted my phone was on 5%, so I turned it off to conserve it for later), so Trenton was able to report what was going on to us in the attic. Trenton then drove around more and scoped out what places and areas were crawling with infected, before turning around to come back home. On his way back, the street lights cut on fully, and the zombies that were following his car began to slow down heavily, information that was shared as he drove on.

Back at the ranch (and by that, I mean the house), Harley and I were concocting a plan of our own. Harley wanted to see if he could get out of the attic and get Allison and Emma to my car and let them get out of here before anything happened to them. Like I said, Harley gets incredibly sentimental about stuff like this, whereas I was making worst-case scenario plans of using the mother and daughter as bait or trading them off to no-doubt coming about raiders that were going to form in this new apocalyptic society. I didn’t want to upset one of the members of the party and messing up our teamwork and dynamic, so I went with Harley’s plan and moved to the other end of the attic and stomped as hard as I could, attracting the zombies over to the area I was standing above. There was a flurry of movement towards the area I stomped over, and I even heard a voice under me say, “Stop running.”. Harley moved the couch off of the door to the attic, and attempted to creak open the door just a smidge, only for the door to fall open completely. The sound of the hatch swinging, combined with the ladder smacking the floor attracted the attention of a zombie that was just walking in the house. All Harley heard before he saw the zombie was a loud, “You!”, before the infected tried climbing the ladder. Since the zombie was too heavy, he couldn’t just knock it off the ladder, so he pulled out his .357 Magnum and blew it’s brains out before essentially yanking the ladder back up and slamming the attic door shut. I managed to sneak back over to the corner we here hunkered down in as fast as I could and asked Harley ‘what the hell happened’.

It was at this point when Trenton texted us and told us he was close to the house. Our relief was cut short by the sound of crying that suddenly became present somewhere below us, followed by the sound of a young girl’s voice asking, “Mommy?” At this point, Harley and I were staring at Allison and Emma, and they looked just as scared as we did. For a moment, we panicked because we desperately did not want to have to deal with whatever little demon was skulking around below us and looking for whatever it considered it’s ‘mommy’. From the small window in the attic, we could see Trenton’s headlights as he was pulling back in. Since we were pressed for time and couldn’t tell Trenton about the little girl zombie in the house, we came up with a plan in the thirty seconds allowed to us from the ‘quick time’ event. We tried to squash the zombie by trying to combine our weights and jumping up and down on the couch and have it go through the attic floor, but that only resulted in the couch leg getting stuck in the attic door. At that point, we went with plan B. We were going to bumrush out of the attic and move as fast as we could towards Trenton’s car, not caring about any noise we made along the way. Harley essentially slammed the attic door open again after we tossed the couch aside, rushing down the ladder, police flashlight out and on its strobe setting, with me coming behind him and protecting Allison while Emma was sat on Harley’s shoulders. The problem we hadn’t considered was that my eyes hadn’t completely adjusted to the dark, but Harley’s had. Harley was blinded to the point he could barely see a foot in front of him. When his charge all but halted, so that our momentum and element of surprise weren’t completely lost, I reached into my bag and put a bayonet in Allison’s hands and pushed Harley in the direction we needed to go, also helping to guide his arm to shoot at anything that got too close. We didn’t spot the little girl zombie on our sprint to the car, but, with my help, Harley was able to empty five bullets into the zombies that were still milling around from when I stomped around earlier. He was down to one bullet when we climbed in, whereas me and Trenton hadn’t fired a shot yet. 

Just as Harley was sliding Emma off of his shoulders and put her into his lap, I was yelling that we needed to get out of there. Trenton started to back up while asking us what was going on, but his attention was quickly stolen by something landing on the hood of his car. It was a little girl, dressed in ratty clothing, unhealthily pale skin, bright red eyes, and had nails that were about a foot long in length. “Where is my, Mommy!?” She screamed at us, which caused us all to start panicking. Trenton drove as fast as he could away from the house, hoping to shake her off by driving like a maniac. Harley was trying to keep Emma safe, taking rather audible note of the fact that the zombie (which we were OOC referring to as the Little Witch, cause we started comparing her to some combination of a Little Sister from Bioshock and the Witch from L4D) was looking at him and Emma. I told Harley and Emma to cover their ears and I took aim with my Smith & Wesson Model 15. I fired twice, the first shot embedding itself in the Little Witch’s stomach, and the other missing entirely. The infected girl didn’t seem very bothered by the bullet lodged in her sternum and began cutting through the windshield with her nails. Harley took aim with his last bullet and missed as well, and spent the rest of his turn trying to find his bullets so he could reload. Trenton was too busy trying not to hit zombies in the road and trying to shake the Little Witch off of us to reach for his Glock. Before I could get another shot off, the Little Witch finished cutting through the windshield and proceeded to strike at Harley. “There you are, Mommy!” was what she yelled as she thrust her clawed hands at him. Luckily, only one of her nails struck him, piercing through his side and missing all of his organs. The other nine nails went through the seat and were just a few inches short of hitting me as well, and, while I was trying to readjust myself to get a better shot, Harley took a reaction and snatched my gun away from me. He put the barrel of the revolver under the Little Witch’s chin and pulled the trigger, killing her instantly.

After that, we drove around while trying to find a place to sleep for the night after patching up Harley. While we were driving, a broadcast came over the radio from the military, stating that those within a large radius of the Arnold Air Force Base were going to be detained. Trenton eventually came across an abandoned Taco Bell, and, after we cleared it out, we all slept in the freezer after making sure it wasn’t on. Harley, Trenton, and I set up a rotating schedule where one of us would keep watch for two hours before switching out with one of the other two. Harley took the first watch, which went by without incident. Trenton took the second watch and learned quite a bit. He watched as a zombie managed to figure out how to open the door to a pick-up truck, which had the corpse of someone who had shot themselves inside of it. Then, after eating what was left of the brain of the corpse, the zombie began fiddling with the keys to the truck, eventually turning it on. It then pushed the body out and began experimenting with reversing and driving back and forth for about 10 minutes. Trenton had a bright idea, and tore off one of the seat cushions from inside the Taco Bell and drew the zombie over by stepping out of the restaurant. The zombie got out of the truck and actually had a small conversation with him. “I can sense your life.” “And you’re a lot more intelligent than I thought you would be.” “That’s understandable. My intelligence is fueled by the Hunger, and it grows stronger with time and meals.” “Ah. I suddenly feel very dead inside with that knowledge.” “You certainly don’t smell dead.” At that point, the zombie rushed Trenton, but he managed to kick the infected in the knee, knocking it down to the ground. Trenton then took the cushion, put it up to the zombie’s head, then put the barrel of his Glock up against it and fired, the seat silencing the bullet. When it was time for my shift, I came out of the freezer and Trenton explained to me what happened. Nothing happened on my shift (besides seeing that zombie’s in sunlight are a lot slower than they are at night), so I got everyone awake and we started thinking of what the plan for the day was. There were plenty of gas stations and liquor stores in the area, so we made some plans to hit those up after a while. The three of us eventually managed to jury-rig a way to hitch Trenton’s car to the truck, making plans to start a small convoy/train of cars. 

When we were in the middle of that conversation, the sound of treads coming over the bridge caught our attention. This Taco Bell was technically on one of the main roads in town and was right before a bridge that went over the interstate and connected to the part of town where the Wal-Mart and Home Depot were. Harley, Trenton, Allison, and Emma made it back inside and proceeded to hide in the freezer, whereas I tripped and landed on my face instead of making it inside. Since there was no way I’d be able to make it inside before whatever was coming across the bridge could spot me, I climbed into the truck and tried to hide. A cursory peek allowed me to see that it was, in fact, a tank rolling up that was causing the noise, followed by several jeeps and men on foot. The men began to fan out and search the area, two of which were coming towards me. I had fifteen minutes to figure out what I was going to do, and, since I couldn’t think of any obvious ideas to hide or disguise myself, I just held my hands in the air and yelled, “Wait! Please don’t shoot!” They aimed at me but quickly became very uninterested in me. I told them that I was not infected and what had happened to me since yesterday, taking care not to mention the others in my group and implying I was by myself. The military personnel informed me that I was free to continue surviving if I wanted and told me to not bother them again unless I was actually infected in some way shape or form. When I brought up the announcement about the detainment, they explained they were only on the lookout for those who were infected but hadn’t turned yet. They couldn’t give two shits about me or anyone that wasn’t infected, and they weren’t going to help or harm me as long as I stayed out of their way.

I went inside and informed the others on what happened, and we were more than a little perturbed about what the military personnel had told me. We decided to go check out the nearest gas station to clear our heads and get some more supplies. We left Allison and Emma behind in the freezer, Harley leaving them his gun and bag, only taking a large knife with him. As we got up to the gas station (a Circle K that was across the street from the Taco Bell), Trenton moved in first, noting that there was about five zombies inside the building. After alerting them to his presence, he moved back towards the pumps to draw them out of the building and make them easier to deal with. Harley was still by the door and I was keeping a lookout further back, essentially hiding behind a car that was parked by the air pump. Before the zombies that Trenton had spotted could file out and attack us, a loud grunting sound began to come out of the Circle K. I, believing this could be some special kind of infected like the Little Witch from last night, moved pretty much across the street and kept my gun aimed at the door. Trenton held his position, and Harley tried his best to get as far as he could away from the gas station.

 What came out of the building was what we would later call a Tanker. It could best be described as an infected riot cop, that stood at about 7′9″, weighed about 800 lbs, had a reach of about 5 feet, and its riot armor had melded with its skin and grown alongside it to become a monster of muscle and armor. Harley barely managed to dodge out of the way of the Tanker’s first strike, which broke the asphalt where he had just been standing like it was nothing. Trenton and I shared a similar idea about luring the Tanker over to the pumps and finding some way to blow them and it up. I fired a shot and it bounced right off of its arm didn’t take its attention off of Harley. Trenton spent his turn actually prying off one of the pipe covers that connected the pumps to the tank of gasoline that was under them. Harley continued moving back and trying to dodge the Tanker’s attacks, but eventually fell down and had no choice but to block an overhand strike from the infected. The blow broke both of Harley’s arms, the pure force of the attack fracturing the bones in several spots, and sent him rolling for a few seconds before he came to a rest near Trenton. Since he didn’t have the luxury of carrying the med-kit or time, Trenton, realizing he didn’t have anything to start a fire with, stabbed his pocket knife into his phone, causing the lithium battery to spark and oxidize, and dropped it into the pipe. As the tank of gasoline was halfway between the gas station and pumps, the Tanker was actually in the perfect position for the plan, as, when the explosion went off, not only was the Tanker caught up in the ensuing fireball, a large portion of asphalt was launched at it and tore off several of its armor plates, revealing it’s flesh underneath. Harley and Trenton managed to essentially brace for impact and got as far as they could from the suffering Tanker. A few bullets from me and Trenton managed to put the mutated creature out of its misery.

And... that’s where we’ve left off for the moment. I hope that entertained or intrigued you in some way shape form or fashion.

[spacelascl]

Caesar iv scenarios

CAESAR IV SCENARIOS WINDOWS 10

CAESAR IV SCENARIOS FREE

Not to mention the 100s of times the game run time errors and closing on your face. I had whole city collapses 4 or 5 times at 90K.

CAESAR IV SCENARIOS FREE

I must add here that I had a hard time achieving each target, spent almost all my free hours and borrowed heavily on my working hours, waking hours and sleeping hours. Then thought of 80K, hit that too, and then what the heck, let’s do 100K. Then I set out to hit 70K without the pillars (Achievement pillars in all 4 categories, like Favor Rating, Culture Rating etc). Then I decided to hit 50K with all the pillars registering 100%. Then I thought okay let me hit 70K, but that was asking too much. Then one night I had an idea, several, the days of my playing Caesar II and III danced in front of my closed eyes, at night and then I started out with new and newer ideas, implemented them all, and hit the 50K mark. Started playing on HARD, but whatever I did I just couldn't get past 40K. I thought what the heck let me play and reach 50K and show it as kinda achievement. The main issue those who played faced were food, and employment. Then I rrad some reviews about Amida, and saw a girl telling us that she played Amida and got about 36000 people and maybe a few thousands can be squeezed in, etc etc. You just play it till you are satisfied or bored to death, and then you quit. This sandbox game is not meant to be WON perse. I found out you can’t hit 1 Million people and even if you did the game doesn't show you as WON because of some internal game setting and programming. I opened Amida, which is the first in line. I used to set myself a maximum of 3 or 5 years for an assignment, some finishing within a single year! I did and voila, got it ready to play!Īfter finishing all the assignments (Admin and Military) in Medium setting, I started the HARD way. I had some starting trouble, since the game was old, the systems are new, and one has to tweak the setup file etc.

CAESAR IV SCENARIOS WINDOWS 10

Quite recently I bought a good Laptop with Windows 10 and with double video graphics cards, and by this time Caesar IV was available Online. Then I wanted to play Caesar IV when it came, installed it, but my system was not sufficient and I never passed even the first assignment.

[lost-in-transition]

short story: deathclocked

CN: This is something new for the blog, a piece of actual fiction. I was inspired. I am not actually a blonde ex-Polish trans hitwoman.

*

I strike at his throat with knuckled fist. I move the arm up to block, programming the motion before even it has a chance to happen. I'll also step aside and put my knee between his legs. Then either head butt him or bring my elbow down in his face. I don't know yet. As a child, I never ever fought. The thought of striking back was worse. It would have made me like them, and even then I knew I feared that. Better to run away, or else to let them. They wanted me to strike back, I know that now. If I had, they would have known I was like them, and we would have been friends. And I would have been something worse than being the nothing that I was. In a sense, they were so persistent because they were concerned for me, and perhaps scared as well - my existence as an oddity raised the potential things could have been different for them, too. We all fear the thought we might not be who and what we need to be, and it drives hatred of the strange all too often.

Ironic then that now I fight so effortlessly. It does not feel like aggression. It feels like stretching out. It feels like singing out loud. I miss that very much, but as time went by, it became less and less comfortable to hear myself, especially resonating in skull. Practicing martial arts, any kind, feels freeing. I feel present and moving and unbound by everything else. I decide my movement beforehand and execute it. If I am struck, I will be hurt, and accepting that makes it something I am not afraid of. In the training ring I don't feel or express anger, and my training mates accept that. When I fight for real, like now, they don't expect me to strike. In some ways, that is the point. It is because they don't expect it that I feel at peace being the one initiating. And ending it.

The man in front of me, I think of him as Boss Man, he wears sports gear slick enough for clubbing and laid back enough no-one will think he is gay or anything. God forbid. Sweatpants showing boxers. Tattoos, expensive wrist watch. He didn't have to queue to get into this club, which already sets him apart from 999 of 1000 people anywhere. There are several ways in which each of us stand out so. He and I share some, including, for me in recent years at least, spending significant time in the company of organized criminals. Boss Man is a criminal organizer, and I can only imagine this is why he passed the doorman directly whereas I stood in line. This place started as a gay club and in many ways still is, men give each other blow jobs among the smoky labyrinths that are the chill out area, the beat of a DJ I don't recognize but do like there in the background like a storm. Boss Man is the type of the leather bear doorman no more than I am in my skimpy sundress, but either he has the money or the fear capital from being a known gang leader that he gets in anyway. Even so, he still passes through the coat check, which means he has no weapon tonight and no body armour. Otherwise typically he does, and this is why I planned to take him down in here tonight. I too am unarmed, but as I now set out to demonstrate, this need not mean much.

I got close enough in the otherwise empty passage, so that first strike goes fine. He staggers, but he's been boxing; now he goes back and into something like stance. He'll strike next. Or will he? He backs up and stares at me. I followed him in here, when he was going to snort or inject I assume, or make a phone call. But when I did, he leered at me, smiling as I approached. Maybe he had not expected to, but he was fine with it, up until the point where I struck. There's enough of a code that he saw my following him as safe. It's what a girl would do if she was aware of his status and wanted him to share something of his - drugs, kisses, cock, recognition in some circles, though I don't know exactly which one. This city has several separate gang environments and they are not all hanging out. "My" criminals are part of other networks than his are. More to the point, "my" criminals live in little circles of salt surrounding a few people who also post on TOR-accessible truly anonymous forums.

Boss Man is an awful person. I know this because I read some of the police reports on things that happened with some girls who spent some time with him. None went to trial, and a few years back they stopped coming because none of them would risk filing one. This isn't why I'm here seeking him out. I'm not a vigilante, I just checked that before I decided to pursue the contract on him. Back in the old days, there were brokers who could connect clients and contract killers anonymously, for a cut. Apparently. They still exist, now they too are on the dark net. It works like a betting service, using crypto currencies and everything. Someone puts out a contract on a mark by anonymously depositing the prize with the broker. The broker verifies the money is legit and makes a bet on when the mark will die. Whoever comes closest wins the money, also anonymously. In theory someone could "kill steal" if they witness a contract killing, but the system works well enough. I was spending a lot of time on the dark web.

This also means that in principle a mark can know there's a contract on them. But in reality, most people where some shadowy figure want them dead will be just like Boss Man, a career criminal who is not all that computer savvy but rather very invested in his offline social network. I have no idea who wants him dead, I just looked into him enough to see if it was at all possible, and also on whether he has any redeeming traits that would make me feel guilty for it. I've cashed in contracts on people who were not gangsters too, some domestic abusers mostly. Still no idea on the client. Boss Man is just always paranoid, when on the streets he has a gun. His driver keeps that for him now I guess. If I guess closest for when he's dead, that's about 40K worth of bitcoins. The call was out for six months already. So either there aren't so many assassins around who'd take it, or some did and failed for whatever reason. I've tried and given up with several marks, sometimes others got them later. No idea on which other, either. I don't think I know any other contract killers, but then again, would I even know?

The thought strikes me that I should make a smartwatch app that bets on my time of death should my pulse stop, in case I find anyone contracting me. That way at least my death can be my own kill. But honestly, if my actual identity ended up there, something already is wrong. No one should know who I am. Heh. They'd have to use my deadname, since the road to a legal name change in my country of citizenship is... long. How fucking appropriate. Ha ha. Like cancer, fun for the whole family. I literally would have to sue my parents, which means I'd have to meet them again. It's been seven years now. They're still around in Krakow, I know, and my little brother hasn't moved out yet. He and I still talk every now and then. I wonder how he's going to make it.

Boss Man isn't going to shout, is he? Not that it makes all that much difference in this loud environment. No. He needs to do this himself or he'll lose face. He stares at me incredulously, already pretty coked up I guess, and leaps at me, all 95 kilo of muscle and bone and Axe bodyspray. I'm in the motion, I sidestep and rotate. Detachedly, I wonder again what precisely is wrong with me. I don't think I'm a sociopath. Is that even possible for me? If I were then surely I wouldn't have all these social anxieties, or feelings of inadequacy, and I wouldn't end up crying over youtube clips where little ugly fruits find other little ugly fruit friends. I do have empathy, for all that everyone tried to grind it out of me, growing up. I couldn't cry for years and years, it took me doubling the recommended dosage to get there finally. Now, it's not so much a matter on if something will make me cry, but when. I used to simply be unable. Now I cannot decide the "if", but I can delay it if I have to. There has to be something that I'm processing here though, it can't be just for the money. Maybe I'm processing my feelings of being an outsider by ensuring I must always be, that there is (yet another?) thing in my life that no-one ever will understand? Some sort of reaction formation? Or am I an adrenaline junkie?

"What the... fucking bitch! Fucking cunt!" he exclaims, slamming against the wall. I swing my fist at the back of Boss Man's head but he's already turned back and lifted a meaty arm for blocking. He has a tattoo of an eagle. He's in stance now. No more surprises.

He stares at me. With a sickening dread my guts recognize that look before my brain does. I shiver. He blinks. "What the fuck? You're a fucking man in a dress? A fucking tranny faggot?" Boss Man laughs. "That's why you fight like that. No fucking real girl could land a hit like that on me! Fuck! I can see it now, look at you, full of makeup and shit. But you've got balls, right? Show me you've got balls, man!" He takes fighting stance again, like he's challenging me. He smiles like a maniac. I'm staggering. It's like I'm split in two pictures like with those old 3D images, floating in different directions, none of them me. I can't sense my body, but it's like I see it from the outside. Tall, flat-chested. Tuck isn't perfect, is it? And I'm blonde, so plenty of electrolysis left before any kind of smoothness. Would any cis woman do contract killings like this? He's implying that, isn't he? That only someone incurably steeped in toxic masculinity would be a... a... hitman.

This is so dangerous, I know it. It feels like those times after meeting that support group when I couldn't stop idly thinking as the train approached the platform that it would be so easy to solve everything by just stepping in front. One part of me is deep in, one is detached. Neither really cares how this goes, right now. Am I angry with him? No way to tell. The important thing is, how dangerous to my beliefs about my identity are these implications? And are those just beliefs? He clocked me in a dark club corridor without me even speaking, so that horrible voice I have isn't it. What's wrong with me? I feel like I'm already dead. A waterlogged corpse having rotted, the bones move through soft flesh-mud. I freeze.

Boss man knocks me over and I feel a sharp pain as I hit the floor. Only luck it was not head first. Then again, if that damn head with it's fucking brow ridge and big nose cracked like a melon, then it would be over. He's on top of me. "What the fuck is this about, you little faggot? Huh? Did you really think you could fool me, you fucking ugly little cocksucker bitch?" I know it's over. I won't have to worry again on whether I'm actually just a sad, misandrist failure of a man, someone who still ticks off all the boxes of male stereotype and socialization. It'll be like with the train. Eventually it will all be over. Pain for a while. But only one outcome. It will be over.

He puts his hand on my left breast and there's another look of surprise on his face. Then his mouth is at the side of my neck. I feel rough, raspy stubble and smell the sour musk of his sweat and breath. He bites my neck hard and grunts. I feel his cock quickly growing hard against my thigh. Another rough hand moves up my thigh. He has to make sure now. The smell, I can't let it go. I remember my old training clothes. Four years ago? Before HRT. I used to smell like this. There is sausage on his breath, and beer. The stubble. When my hands had eczemas because I didn't moisturize, and they itched, I would scratch them against the stubble of the cheek of the body that I was in. The skin would eventually blister and bleed and get sticky, and it would hurt more and longer.

That's not me anymore.

That's who he is. I'm different. I always was. That never was me. That surface was no-one. I'm the will to motion. I'm the choice I made. I am me.

Boss Man isn't holding my hands in place because he's too busy groping at my tuck. So I press them against the veins at the side of the neck, holding and twisting as if I was opening a jar of pickles. I hear his neck snap, and slowly he goes limp on top of me. My head is spinning and for a moment I forget who I am, where I am, what I am. There is only the naked tube lights of the ceiling high above and the graffiti on the concrete walls. My back hurts.

I turn to get him off me. I squeeze his neck again to be sure, check the pupils. I kick Boss Man in the side of the head, first gingerly, carefully. Then again, harder. Again. A dozen times, with the hard toes of my pumps. I take out the phone, choose the camera settings to ensure there is a time stamp watermark as well as a GPS watermark. Then I remember. I have to remove the little coloured sticker they put over the camera lenses on your phone in this club. Check. Filter settings. Check. I upload an image of Boss Man's vacant gaze as he lies there to the server, through the TOR client app. It's done.

I hurry down to the bathroom, one floor down. I shy away from the mirror image because I can already guess what it would show, and I go in to hide in a stall. I lock the door carefully. Then I let the tears come.

[askthecustodes]

Tossed By The Waves, But Does Not Sink

A self indulgent drabble based on my art post here and a little bit of back and forth about them with @templarhalo, for @40kartweek‘s OCxCanon Week.

Constantin x Arturia, set in 40k, their reunion. Super unpolished but alas for last minute ideas.

Ten Thousand years.

It had been more than a dozen lifetimes since he had seen the cradle world, left behind in search of things the Legio so desperately needed. Things the Imperium needed. He had wondered how it might have changed since that time, whispered about it with Jenetia in their sojourn. Her eyes crinkled, sometimes in amusement, sometimes in sadness. Both had longed for home more than either could put into words. Both hoped it had, in their absence, found some recovery since that catastrophic time.

She was almost a star in her own right, the surface glittering with trillions of lumens and flames that never went out. Orbital and suborbital defense stations peppered between shipping lanes that never ceased flowing like iron rings attempting to contain her. He could have sung the songs of old to see her so alive again.

That joy bled from him once he found the surface. Shrines and churches had sprung up, honoring the spots where traitors had hammered to gain footing, and where loyal sons had bled and died. Memories washed over him as he and his companion were led through to the dazzling splendor of the Palace. Friends, brothers, sisters, his closest kin, had been spilling blood and losing their lives for years up until that final crisis, but it was the last, and worst of all, to bear. The grief of his shame, their failure, had hung heavy on his shoulders then. 

He had not expected a positive reception. Anything less than incredible suspicion would have disappointed him; the circumstances of his departure and the length of his absence should elicit nothing less than the most stringent of tests to check the ancient ident-monikers in what remained of his armor and his battered weapon, and genetic comparisons to what had survived in the millennia of strife. He submitted without complaint, as did Jenetia.

Upon release, he wandered toward his original quarters. The current Captain General had warned him they were occupied now, and had been since before Valoris was a Ligo Aeto, by a Custodian from a time before. She would not be uprooted easily. The name sent a rush down his spine, and he lingered for no additional explanation.

His private chambers had changed little, with books neatly lining shelves and kept in stasis fields to preserve them. Trophies and tokens from battles long forgotten remained on the walls or in cases. There were several more, items he could not place as to its history; they could only be hers. He passed by them, silent, and into the central courtyard.

She had her back turned to him, but she was unmistakable with the brilliant red and gold Aquila wings inked into her shoulders beneath a panoply of beads and chains. A smile curled his lips; she had once been called mother bird, all those years ago. He wondered if she still did. She was engrossed in the book in her lap as she sat on a stone bench beside the garden’s pool. The grass crunched beneath his feet as he approached, breaking her from her reverie. In a moment she had a hand on the Miescorida grip strapped to her back hips and she was facing him, crouching in feral threat.

“Arturia...” He breathed her name, heart suddenly pounding in his chest. Would she recognize him? Was she still angry at his disappearance? The briefest of doubts flickered in his mind.

She stared at him, the tension in her shoulders ready to meet the heavy Appolyon Spear at his side. Her head cocked to one side, as if to test if he were an apparition. “Constantin?” The former Captain General paused, letting the hope roll over him. The edges of his eyes crinkled as he looked at her. She edged closer, like one of the big felines of old investigating a newcomer. Suspicion creased her brow. “Are you...?”

“I have returned.” He finished the incomplete thought. She pursed her lips, her hand falling from the blade at her back. A tumult of emotion crossed her features, and for a moment he thought to apologize for the renewed raw hurt he saw dominate. He extended a hand to her, and she took it, her fingers readily lacing with his. She hesitated a moment, before closing the last of the gap. Her other hand rested just below his jaw line and her face buried in his shoulder. Her shoulders shuddered with the tears she had not the energy to cry all those years ago.

“I missed you.”

He rested her head on hers. “I missed you too.”