#i just reblog stuff sometimes and like vent into the void rarely

[deaddovestellnotales]

Hello!

I'm glad we met one day and I pressed the follow button when I opened your blog. We don't talk anymore but I still remember you!

I'm at a mandatory break from whumpblogging yet sometimes I open tumblr to talk to someone - talking to people is one of those rare little things that make my heart smile. You write about your life a lot - sometimes it sounds a lot like mine - and there's a lot of random fantasy stuff reblogs as well. I'm not into anything magical or fantasy or superpowers aside from being desired and having friends yet I enjoy seeing your fantasy reblogs on my feed. No whump community stuff, no familiar faces, only your random posts - sometimes it helps me a lot.

Don't get me wrong tho, I love whump community and all of their stuff is great! The thing is, as I'm on a break I often feel guilty as hell for not doing the whump every time I stumble upon anything whumpy on this hellsite. It's the "why am I not writing/drawing/working on whump every waking minute of my free time?" guilt I can't get over from. And it's your blog that gives me such a nice refreshing break from it.

Sincerely, thank you.

Oh man, that is actually really sweet? I'm glad that my stupid blog is doing something for you, I honestly thought it was just mostly deterring people and making them annoyed and tired of me because of all the trauma and vent stuff I post. Though I don't feel guilty for doing it and I don't regret any of the posts that I haven't actively deleted.

I am very sorry though that you can relate to a lot of things I write about because then you are probably also going through a rough time and that sucks. If you ever want to talk again, please hit me up, and don't be shy. Though, I understand if you'd rather not.

My IMs are always open to anyone though (except my abusers of course, but I sincerely hope they don't dare message me ever again.)

About the fear of not doing whump everyday -- I get that a lot. I have the same feeling about roleplaying and / or writing. It always feels like you are missing out and everyone is moving on without you if you don't engage with your passion anymore.

Are there other things you enjoy that you could maybe spend time on instead to fill the "void" so to speak? Though I am not one to talk, I can't do that either. I just feel guilty and try my best to ignore it. :sweat:

But yeah... I hope you feel better soon, and if you want to be friends or if you feel like our friendship needs to be rekindled (since you mentioned we talked in the past?) I'm always here for you to reach out to (as best as I can with my working hours).

[vickyvicarious]

wedlakeserenities replied to your post: I have been thinking for a while, on and off,...

YELLING ….. VICKKKKY WRITE THE THING

YOOOO I REALLY WANT TO BUT, like, it’s such a vast universe with so many little details I know I’d miss out on, and I can’t help but feeling like someone else would handle it way better...

[anadorablekiwi]

Hiya here’s my intro post

Hi! I’m Kiwi! (Like the birb :D) And no, I unfortunately do not live in and am not from Aotearoa/New Zealand. Just love the place and the birds.

My mama’s (dragonsglare) Snickerdoodle recipe so i can indirectly make you cookies :D

My guacamole recipe 💚

A Questionaire website for when you feel like crap, which helps you with self care/executive disfunction/etc. Take care of yourself please. Found through this post

My LU love/hearts edits post here (will be updated as I eventually get around to more edits by reblogs)

I love all Zelink <3

Most my fandom stuff will be Honkai Star Rail stuff and Genshin Impact stuff, and the occasional legend of Zelda/linked universe. But I also reblog PJO/HOO when it shows up on my dash occasionally. My hyperfixations also change from time to time so dont be surprised by Dont Starve Together, Phasmophobia, Animal Crossing stuff, etc

There is absolutely NO room for hate of any kind on my blog, and this is a safe place for everyome. No Exceptions. (And to be 110% clear, that includes all who are lgbtq+/queer)

Social anxiety with a sprinkle of awkward, so I apologize in advance. 💜 I also crave interaction so please don’t be afraid to come chat or something 💙

Genshin UID: 640628605 American server, AR 60 (Kiwi)

747301959 Europe server, AR 35 (Rowi)

Honkai Star Rail UID: 601266085 American Server, TL 70 (Kiwi)

Wuthering Waves UID: 500675827 American Server, UL 46 (Kiwi)

I have siblings! Older brother is Pseudo, younger sisters in order are Doe (the married one) and Aria (@/arianight992) (as in these are their online names (Pseudo and Aria) or a nickname I gave them for tumblr purposes (Doe, after a female goat))

Choir/music/geology/birds from Aotearoa (NZ) nerd, (fake) adult, Christian. Self diagnosed ADHD and i have autistic tendencies

I don’t do reblog bait. And on a much more lighthearted note I don’t usually do those individualized positive reblog thingys for the sole reason of I don’t wanna accidentally leave anyone out 🥺😅😂

I have a couple side blogs! Writing side blog: @the-writings-of-a-kiwi-bird || Art side blog: @kiwis-doodles || Oc info side blog: @kiwis-ocs-sideblog || OCs meet au sideblog: @a-chain-of-chaos || none are very active, just whenever I get around to doing a thing (i live in shame /lh)

I have a loz/lu sideblog but dont know if ill use it or not

My (very incomplete) list of tags under the cut:

#kiwi answers- my asks tag

#kiwi vents/#screams into the void/screams into the abyss- my venting posts, no obligation to respond I just gotta get it out there sometimes

#kiwi rambles- random ramblings from me (usually) not related to LU

#kiwis lu nonsense- ramblings that are related to LU

#kiwi’s linksona/kiwis linksona Diana/kiwis linksona eli (<-old | new->) #kiwis ocs- stuff about my (linksonas) OCs! Eli is the first and the main one. If you have any questions about any please ask, i love talking about all of them!

#kiwi draws- my drawings and doodles

#the kiwi bird writes/writings of a kiwi bird- my Fics and writing

#kiwi crafts- my crochet/whatever crafty thing I learn next posts! (Probably just crochet. Maybe some sewing eventually)

#kiwi gets love- so i can easily find and reread the love I’ve received when I’m feeling down

#much noms for little bird/noms for the kiwi bird- food related posts

#caps/caps lock- I know some people don’t like caps lock so when I use it/reblog a post with a lot of it i’m trying to tag it more

#kiwi yells self care (nicely)- my self care reblogs/posts (mostly my reblogs of self care bot) (i rarely remember to tag)

#kiwi q- my queue/scheduled post tag

#kiwis wonderful pets <3- the tag for when I post pictures of my cat(s) or dog(s)

When I play games and post about it I’ll tag it #kiwi plays [insert game here]

#kiwi talks genshin- self explanatory

#the songs of a kiwi bird- the rare occasion I post a video of my singing <3

#kiwi talks about writing- i talk about writing, mostly comments on any wips i may be working on

#kiwi (doesnt) take care of herself- food is hard water is hard what is self care (never remember to tag)

#kiwis anime saga- Ive started watching some lighthearted animes and i like yelling about them

#kiwi watches *insert anime here*- my ramblings about specific animes as i watch them

#kiwis epona- posts about my first car, whom i have fondly named Epona!

#kiwi save- posts I absolutely want to be able to find again

#kiwis produce adventures- i work at a grocery store in produce so any posts relating to produce are tagged this

[henshinanigans]

Losing My Friends on tumblr

I’m one of those unfortunate people that first joined tumblr in 2011 and I have seen a lot. Like...a lot. The most notable for me must have been the amount of people I interacted with. Despite the bad reputation tumblr gets, I managed to have a lot of fun. But sometime a couple of years ago, it just stopped. It was slow. It was gradual. I didn’t notice until it was too late, and it made me feel like a fad. Tossed aside as soon as it wasn’t interesting.

This isn’t a PSA or anything. But I’ve been thinking bad thoughts for a while. Thoughts along the line of me being a terrible person for not being able to hold these friends down. I realize that people have their own lives and problems, but I can still think of a few key moments in my time on tumblr that contribute to the way I feel on this site. If you��re still a mutual, you might find that this applies to you. But keep in mind that this is in no way a callout post towards anyone. In a much more real sense, this is me attempting to reach out to my former friends, reevaluate my presence here, and possibly starting over. I can’t force the people I have in mind to read this. But I really hope one of you does.

My first year or so on tumblr was pretty standard. I had a handful of followers. I liked and reblogged posts and rarely posted anything myself. Every now and then, I would see other users interact with asks and stuff and I would think, “Wow, I wish I could do that!” But it never got me too jealous.

It wasn’t until I joined the toku fandom that my activity really started spiking. I posted a whole ton about Sentai and Kamen Rider when I first discovered it. Along the line, I also got into Precure, and it spiked even further. I got a lot of asks and replies (this was before tumblr chat, mind you) and memed a whole lot and even debated as I and other toku tumblr users were caught up in the hype. It was a lot of fun!

It’s also when I met a certain person. I won’t mention their name, but we spoke a whole lot about this stuff. We would send each other asks and reblogged each other on a frequently regular basis. I was really happy when they were online. If I’m being totally honest, we may have had a thing for each other that we never really acted on. Regardless, I truly enjoyed my time on this site when they were on. If you ever read this, I hope you’re doing well and I wish you the best.

During all of this, I was working out offline. I never made a big deal about it, but I was working out every other day, working on my body to basically become a Power Ranger. Down the line, I found someone that helped me to dramatically boost my progress. I was so happy with it, that I finally decided to share it with my peers. And who better to share it with than my peers on tumblr?

I think that was when it started.

Aside from the kind words from offline friends and family, I also received a lot of praise from people here as well. Nothing too crazy, but enough that it made me feel really good about my progress. Working out is never about the attention for me, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a nice bonus. But then early signs of my being tossed aside started popping up. 

A few days after I posted a particularly good progress photo, I received a very strange ask. An anon asked if they could call me...Hunky Daddy. It made me incredibly uncomfortable, and I said no right away. They were anonymous, so it never came up again. But after that, I started getting messages that weren’t even weird. They were just hurtful. Someone who I called a friend subtly kept insisting that all of the hard work I put into my exercise was based on talent. That all of the literal sweat and tears I shed and months I spent dieting had nothing to do with my accomplishments. That really hurt my feelings, I didn’t even realize at the time that they were projecting their own insecurities on me. But back then, I paid it no mind. I just kept posting progress and selfies and regular posts. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I wasn’t getting messages anymore, and my regular mutuals weren’t interacting with me very much. Then it all just...stopped completely.

I don’t want to say it’s because of I started publicizing the workout side of me, but I definitely feel like that was when it started. My mutuals just didn’t want to interact with me anymore no matter what I did. I barely even made any changes to my posts other than the working out. But nowadays I feel as though I’m yelling at a void and waiting desperately for a response that’s never going to come. And it makes me really sad. Not because I was some tumblr celebrity, but having mutuals to talk to regularly made me really happy. I get really jealous when the mutuals I somehow still have are talking to each other on my dash and I never get anything back when I do anything. It’s almost as if I made one huge mistake and then the word spread that I’m a bad person to avoid. I miss being able to come here and not even vent about my problems. Just having people to talk to here was enough. And I would be really happy to get that back.